uni-seahorse-572
nothing in moderation
fitz vacker enjoyer | capable of being normal about things i swear
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just finished aftg and was anyone going to tell me that it's a comedy
#ari shouts into the void#aftg#i'm sorry but every progressive event is just so off the walls funny#really appreciate that the whole book is just. the opposite of the modern therapy speak plague#no character is out here having politically cotrrect healing conversations!!!!!#they r just yelling at each other for nothing and ignoring their feelings#i will say that my utter lack of interest in sports makes the character motivations soooo incomprehensible#like this is all for stickball game. have you considered stuickball game is not that deep#and thats why andrew minyard is Right actually#also evermore stadium is soooo funny also. could not take the ravens seriously#they live in Cave world. where everything is the color black.#like would i even feel the pain with all the insults id be sending at that interior designer??#anyway. wild book series truly
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Waking up and opening my activity page on 4/1/24.
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realized i never posted this one here either, so here ya go 🐇
#i give up. i spent way too long debating if this was fitz or biana#anyway op i dont go here but i love your art!!!!
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anyway on this very special day the Latin student in me wants y'all to know that Caesar, in his account of the Gallic Wars, refers to himself nigh exclusively in 3rd person. so yeah he absolutely did have the whole stabbing thing coming
#ari shouts into the void#some notes for the notes: it's impossible to be sure that Caesar wrote the gallic wars#some people DO believe that it was dictated to a scribe or something similar#in which case the 3rd person thing makes more sense#also de bello gallico is so boring. bc of this i imagine historians love it#like caesar will spend ages going 'and these are the boundaries of this tribe#and these are the boundaries of that tribe' etc.#at one point he explains how cavalry works#ides of march#julius caesar
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i'm actually quite excited for the discourse about whether someone is responsible for the misdeeds of AI-generated versions of themselves! and by excited of course I mean I expect to discover a new, tenth circle of hell
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do you ever feel trapped by the version of yourself everyone else seems to think you are or is that just me
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fitz vacker is awesome. reblog if you love fitz vacker.
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what i'm getting from the reactions to book 9.5 is that this is all of us right now
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unraveled is a good name because its unraveling my will to keep reading the series
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i cannot be exposed to a whole entire keefe book i’m sorry. can we talk aboht the government atrocities what about the government atrocities shannon
#i cant do this#hanging onto liking keefe by a thread. like im so close to snapping#once it comes out dpes anyone wanna post like. a summary#that i can read instead of a whole keefe pov book...... please.....#i find his persepctive insufferable..........
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They should make a musical about the assassination of Julius Caesar
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Hey, do you do requests ?
nothing so official as all that, so I would make no promises, but if anyone wants to send something in I'd be happy to see what I could do with it :)
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god the most annoying thing about people considering me very pro lgbtq is that otherwise 'neutral' people still manage to come up to me like 'ha ha isn't it wild that some people use NOUNS as pronouns' and expect me to agree as if surely I must draw the line SOMEWHERE, right? well guess what!!! there is no line
#vent#ari shouts into the void#transphobia#ig? not sure if that's the right word for it but. close enough#every time my little sister (very christian) has this conversation to me she manages to work in how#APPALLED and HORRIFIED she is that she saw this one person online who used demon/demons pronouns
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@bookwyrminspiration I was your gifter!! I hope you enjoy :)
Summary:
When Fitz is finally cleared to leave the healing center, he can’t stomach the thought of staying with his traitorous brother - even if it’s just on the same property. So instead, he moves in with his mentor. The results… are much more than he would have ever expected.
@song-tam thanks for hosting <3
#ari writes#kotlc#kotlc secret santa 2023#fitz vacker#solreef family#tam song#linh song#tiergan alenefar#wylie endal#prentice endal
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futures and dreams (and other non-fading scars): Bianuca
A/N: Hi @uni-seahorse-572, I'm your secret santa! Thanks @song-tam for hosting!
Summary: Biana looks at her again, and her eyes are tinted red from exhaustion and pain but still they carry with them the Vacker power. The one she's craved and hated for far too many years.
TW: mentions of blood/violence/wounds
Tags: @steppingonshatteredglass @sunset-telepath @stardustanddaffodils @turquoise-skyyyy @skylilac @wu-marcy @saintashes @rune-and-rising @lavender-and-rainy-days @confusedamphibian @hellomyfriends @callas-starkflower-stew @a-harmless-poison @professionalwhalewatcher @theogony @gay-otlc @confuzzled-fox @almostfullnerd @athenswrites @synonymroll648 @squishmallow36 @xanadaus @honey-the-dinosaur-ate-our-kid
Biana's lips part as she sleeps, in soft contrast to the rest of her twisted face. Maruca wants to trace a finger down her skin, soothe the wrinkle between her brows, let her eyes rest easy instead of pressed tight.
At least she's finally asleep.
The bandages wrapped across most bare skin make the idea of rest impossible: three hours ago, she was pinned down to keep from writhing, with teeth clenched so hard they ground audibly as Elwin and Livvy plucked shards of glass from her skin, then poured a disinfectant elixir over the jagged wounds. The numbing elixir barely eased the pain for her. Elwin said some of the glass had gone too deep.
Maruca wants to hold her hand, but even if she could do that without causing her pain, she isn't sure what it would mean. Years before, there wouldn't have been any sort of hesitation, only relief, comfort, familiarity.
The thing is, she knows the feeling of her hand so well that seeing those fingers twitch in her sleep is a phantom pain, an absence so familiar that feeling it is easier than it would be to feel the real thing.
Biana's mouth purses and her face screws up on itself for a moment before fading back into worried sleep.
(god, that mouth.)
Livvy had taken her aside, an hour ago, when the bandages had just been wrapped and the color had still been gone from her skin. "Elwin will tell them that the scars might fade. He will give her a possibility, maybe a hope."
"And you?" Maruca asked.
Livvy looked at her. "Maybe in a hundred years, there will be nothing remaining from this day on her skin. But the scars will still be there."
Maruca scrubs at her face with her hands.
She can hear Fitz in the next room talking to his parents, swoops of anger filling the area before he remembers to keep his voice down. Della's sobs punctuate the conversation. Alden's voice is lower than usual, pieces of his crisp accent lost in raspy worry.
Sometimes, it's like it only took a day for their family to fall apart. But then Maruca remembers it really took two, even though she wasn't around for either of them.
One: Alden's mind break. Two: Alvar's betrayal.
She wonders if this day will be the third. She knows it would have been if Fitz and Dex had taken any longer, or if Livvy hadn't been in Atlantis, or if they hadn't found her in time.
Still, all she knows is that there was the last day she was there: when Della was smiling, when Alvar was making his stupid jokes, when Alden could tease his children without worrying about the consequences, when Fitz still had that laugh that didn't turn dark halfway through. When Biana's breaths were even and balanced and calm.
And then there was every day after. When she'd see them in public, or in meetings, or in school, and suddenly the memory of the planting scattered its leaves through every long-lasting look, or there was a missing piece from their unified front.
If they hadn't found her in time.
The thought is more than a prickle or a pang. It's an explosion, a road to a future without her. A future she never imagined, never wanted to imagine.
All the future she'd imagined consisted of kisses in the dark and smiles across a bright room and fingers tracing arms and thumbs scraping across cheekbones and dark hair twisted carelessly around a knuckle and limbs slung over stomachs—
Goodbye does not have to go both ways.
It doesn't even have to go one way. Biana never said goodbye, but neither did she. They never made a promise not to grow apart, but Maruca doesn't think it would have mattered.
In the end, it wasn't a clean break.
It was a drawn-out pull, like a strand of yarn from a threadbare sweater. It unraveled so quickly and so suddenly that all of a sudden Maruca was left with threads the size of hairs and no way to weave them back together. It took several months of wondering when it would happen and then all of a sudden she was gone.
Gone.
"I'm scared of losing you," Biana had told her once upon a time. Back before the first time falling apart. Not the Vackers, but them.
Well, great job, Bee. 'Cause now she's fucking terrified.
Biana stirs.
Fitz is there immediately, thanks to his sixth sense that tells him whenever a sibling is either dying or betraying him. He leans over the bed, hand hovering an inch above her cheek, her hair, the closest he can be.
Maruca was scared for him, of him when she'd arrived. Eyes bloodshot, voice breaking every other word. He'd let go of her hand and then his nails had almost gone through his skin from clenching his fist too hard. He'd tried to smile at her and she caught a glimpse of a wild animal prowling, barely hidden anymore.
Dex had rested a hand on his shoulder, and it calmed and provoked him, sending him pacing and tearing his hands through his hair and eventually, sitting by her bed with his mouth moving, whispering to her what she'd never be able to hear. Dex sat beside him for hours, even if he's gone now, mixing elixirs for the scars that will never truly fade.
Maruca sits on her other side, staring at the bandages and thinking that maybe she should go into healing if only so she'd have some idea of how to be useful.
"Biana," Fitz whispers. Her eyes crack open.
Maruca almost retreats, but she's never hidden before and she refuses to now. She crosses her arms over her knees and twists her fingers together.
"Did we win?" Biana asks, her voice gravelly from sleep and screaming.
Fitz hesitates.
"They saved the city," Maruca says. Biana's eyes widen, flicker over. Then they drink her in like there's no one else she'd rather see and there it is. The reason she fell for her in the first place. That power, that makes her feel like no one else in the world matters, like no one else could make her complete. Maruca clears her throat and refuses to look away. "Linh did. And Sophie, Keefe. They saved Atlantis. Gisela tried to flood it, but they blocked up the barrier, held back the ocean."
Biana tries to sit up, mouth pressing into a fine line as she feels all the bandages over her neck, cheek, arm, and side. Fitz helps her, eyebrows pressed into a worried line. Still, relief eases the tension in his neck, the stiffness in his shoulders.
"So, did we win?" Biana repeats.
"Some will say yes. The Council will say yes." Maruca shrugs. She sees the gray in Biana's skin and can't imagine how it can fit together with victory. "I don't know."
"Sophie's parents," Fitz says. "They're safe. Everyone is safe."
Something eases in Biana's face. "Some losses. Important wins."
"You could say that," Maruca says. Biana looks at her again, and her eyes are tinted red from exhaustion and pain but still they carry with them the Vacker power. The one she's craved and hated for far too many years.
She's absorbed, as everyone ends up some way or another where Biana Vacker is concerned. It's not that she thinks of nothing else, but it is that along with all those other things she's still there, lingering just behind as an echo. Maruca considers a question on her Universe worksheet and finds the stars reflected in teal eyes.
This is the Vacker effect. The pull, the gravity of it enough to harness the moon into orbit. The power leaks from them like tea drips from a teabag once it's turned the boiling water dark. You can sense it when they walk into a room. Any of them, but especially her.
At least, this is what Maruca assumes everyone else sees.
For a moment, the feeling disappears and a weight takes its place in a band around Maruca's throat. The feeling is missing her, and it's not that it abates but that it's overwhelmed by hating her.
In the end, she's the first to look away.
#shoutout to tumblr for not notifying me that I was mentioned!!! always fun#but summer. summer this is soooo soooooo fantastic i adore it immensely#characterizations are absolutely on point and!! the whole thing is in maruca pov!!!!#very exciting!!!!!#the phantom pain metaphor is just beautiful and really hits hard#plus you nailed the part about how their friendship broke apart!!!! it's so messy and unfinished!!!!!#AND. all of the reflection on the Vackers and Alvar and Fitz as a wild animal is just so perfect I can't even begin#this is heartwrenching and also kinda bittersweet and just. I can't emphasize how lovely the writing is enough#ahhh thank you so much!!!!
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every once in a while a mlb post floats across my dash, i see the acronym, immediately go "MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL????" & promptly take 3356 psychic damage as I attempt to reconcile what's just flashed through the ol' brainpan
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