Half-drow Tav, seeing Astarian: classic good looks, white hair, red eyes. let me guess: you're half-drow?

Astarian: you could not be more wrong, but im delighted you were thinking of me

Kazimir "Kaz" Littlemoon

surface drow of Waterdeep - the halflings' son - ranger extraordinaire - the dread ambusher - the stag who fell in love with the bear - freckles

Meet him below...

Brief Backstory Kazimir was the third born son of Matron Mother Phaeravine of House Vrammith and her favored consort, Nalaxle. He was born in the summer of 1371 DR, the midst of the Peace of Lolth. A period of uncharacteristic nonviolence for Lolth followers, as the goddess declared a halt to all drow sacrifices. As such, Kazimir could not be killed at birth, as is customary of all third sons and beyond.

Yet Phaeravine, already humiliated at having born twin sons directly before Kazimir, had other plans. She abandoned him to die of exposure in the Underdark. Hoping that Lolth might not notice her disobedience and be convinced the infant's death was accidental.

Fortunately, an adventuring party happened beside the cave where the infant Kazimir lay hungry and crying. Among them, the halfling ranger Quindelline Littlemoon. She brought him home to her wife, Rosina, on the surface and they raised him as their beloved only son.

Kazimir was raised in a majority halfling village, Farwallow-upon-Dessarin, just outside Waterdeep and grew up going to the city regularly. His mothers had him confirmed into the Church of Eilistraee as a child to help protect him, in case any of his biological family came looking for him. They raised him to be kind, considerate, polite, and headstrong. All things drow men ought never to be to Menzoberranzan standards.

He grew up to be an adventurer for hire and fell in with many adventuring parties over the years prior to his kidnapping. And even found love in the form of Mysendra Moonheart, or Mystie as she's better known. The moon elf bard that played at Dagger's Rest, the tavern where Kazimir rents an apartment on the top floor. Even though their decade long open relationship was cut short by her father calling her back to the Dalelands to fulfill her betrothal and take over her family's estate, they remain lifelong best friends through regular letters.

He also found tragedy in his relationship with Joss Merryck, a half elf rogue whom he adventured with from time to time. Joss was a Zhentarim, though barely. He wished to be rid of his duties to the guild, but no one ever truly leaves. Though he found some reprieve in his time with Kazimir. Joss became Kazimir's first male lover when they could finally no longer hide their mutual feelings. But the relationship would end suddenly after two years, when Joss broke it off. He was found dead near Skullport not long after, killed by rival Xanathar Guild as an example to spies. He never told Kazimir that he'd been caught, lest the ranger try and foolishly save him. Kazimir still carries the silver locket Joss gave him on his birthday.

Kazimir was kidnapped by mindflayers somewhere around Amphail as he was travelling to a beast extermination job contracted by a minor Waterdhavian noble. Giant rats eating up their crops at night. He was likely taken around the same time as a certain famous wizard prodigy.

His first order of business upon waking up on the beach is getting a letter up to Waterdeep. He needs to tell Tess, the owner of Dagger's Rest, that he's alive and to assure his mothers of that fact. They're too elderly to a fright like that.

The Ballad of Kazimir Littlemoon (Collected Lore WIP) Menzoberranzan (1/2) Menzoberranzan (2/2)

The Surface (1/2) The Surface (2/2)

Waterdeep (1/2) Waterdeep (2/2)

Ship Name: Honeygloom (Halsin x Kazimir)

Spotify Playlist

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Dividers Used

The photos of Minette will be from random eras throughout her journey, like for this. Act 1! She looked like such a proud parent of Alfira Day 3, Cozy

Rating: Fluff???? Once again, not beta read. Pardon any errors as this is a few days old for promptober, I was tired at the time of writing this as I am now lol

There are spoilers for one of the endings here.

Spoilers for Shadowheart’s romance, of course.

Female Drow, Cleric of Kelemvor. Entertainer background.

Minette fixed the dress she wore as she looked in the mirror in their room. A simple white dress with sleeves that go off the side and a corset. She got used to the life that she had with Shadowheart and her in-laws. However, she was not used to the fact that someone close to her actually had parents.

Minette stepped out of her room and cautiously tip-toed down the hall until she reached the main room where Shadowheart was, putting the final touches to the dinner they were going to have with Shadowheart's parents. 

Minette snuck up to Shadowheart, her pale gray hands wrapping around Shadowheart's waist as she placed a kiss on her cheek. Her black lipstick left a small mark.

Shadowheart did not react as she was now used to Minette sneaking up on her to gift her with a kiss. Shadowheart turned around and faced her partner. “You look so beautiful.” Shadowheart complimented, her hands drifting towards Minette's hands. Shadowheart twirled Minette which caused her to laugh.

“I did not expect that if I am being honest dove.” Minette couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the woman in front of her. Just then Shadowheart's parents entered the cabin. They looked much better since the House of Grief.

Everyone began to join around the table, “That dress looks beautiful on you Minette.” Emmeline complemented Minette. Minette smiled once again, she never knew how to respond to people calling her beautiful, her whole life was dedicated to being a mere observer of things when she became a Cleric of Kelemvor. It was the mentality she started off on when the tadpoles happened, but that changed when she grew close to Shadowheart.

“Thank you, Emmeline.” 

Without another word the small family began to eat, Minette spoke of her times before meeting Shadowheart. Mostly her job as a Cleric since Shadowheart's parents wanted to know more about it. Then, of course, the ‘what made you fall?’ question. Minette happily answered all of them. She was still getting used to this life as much as Shadowheart and her parents were.

But she knows it’s working well, Shadowheart no longer has to be near Shar. That’s all Minette wanted for her.

Moodboard for all 3 of my Tavs!

Kanna Oktav - (The Main One, The Pacifist, They/Them) Parents immigrated from Kara-Tur and couldn't afford to care for them anymore, so they got sent to a monastery in Baldurs Gate. Eventually joined a traveling troupe of performers as an acrobat and trapeze artist before she got swooped up by the mindflayer ship. Can break people's bones easily if they want to. Pretty chill about everyone, and adores Wyll. Literally almost threw hands with Mizora.

Relonohrr Duskryn - (Gay Geralt of Rivia, The Soldier, He/Him)

Grew up in a militaristic house and was kinda treated like he wasn't smart or better for anything but being big and strong. Was born with black scleras and grew up to be very buff and large for a drow- His mom saw this as a good sign from Lolth. Served as his sister Rauva's bodyguard and was escorting her to Baldur's Gate to meet with someone before he was swooped up by the mindflayer ship. Looks like he can kill you but mostly just wants to get paid and take as many naps as he can. Does good things but with his own motivations. Loves scratch so much it surprises people how soft he is around him. Astarion's big beefy guard dog. Draws so he can one day show Astarion how pretty he is. They are insufferably gay!!

Dawn Cormaeril - (Silver Tongue and Heart of Gold, The Sunshine Bard, Golden Retriever, He/Him)

Born in Baldurs Gate to a Sun Elf socialite and Lord Parwyn Cormaeril of Cormyr through a fling. His dad still wanted him in his life, though so he made sure to support him by sending him to amazing schools and bringing him to Cormyr every summer. Came out as trans to his dad and he was pretty ecstatic to have a male heir and supported him through his transition via magic and such. Blessed by Lathander and Sune and a hopeless romantic with the lyre and literally fell in love with Shadowheart the moment he saw her. Wants to believe in the good of others. Fantasizes about taking Shadowheart and his in laws to his summer home in Cormyr with a flower garden and a place where Scratch and their owlbear can thrive. Has talked a literal demon into killing himself.

HE HE HO HO ZAREYL LORE

ok lets see where to start!! zareyl is drow who grew up in the underdark with a really abusive mother 😀 she raised all her childern to extremely strict standards with harsh punishments whenever they werent up to her standards (which was often). he was never allowed to leave the house so the only socialization he had were his tutors (which kept themselves distanced from the children), his older sister, and occasionally his dad (who was not allowed to dote on the children, but would sneak time with them against the mother's wishes). his dad actually teaches him how to play the pan flute and gives him his own flute as a gift <3

mom finds out about these stolen moments, and she is Not Happy!!! and to teach the kids a lesson - theyre around... i dont remember the exact ages, around 70 years old for Zareyl and 80 for his sister Inwyss? which in elf years is something closer to, idk, 15 human years roughly, to guesstimate. and she decides to just! murder her husband in front of the two of them.

thats the straw that broke the camels back for Inwyss - so she ran away. but Zareyl stayed, because they had two younger brothers - one of which was a literal newborn - and he was afraid of what would happen to them if he did. at least if he stayed he could make his mom focus her punishments on him instead.

so his life miserably goes on, making sure to be there for his brothers and show them the love and care their mom wouldnt. he doesnt speak a lot about their dad because hes scarred and it hurts, but he refuses to tell them it was their mom that killed him. and at one point, when he sees her focus start going towards his brothers as well, he decides enough is enough - he sneaks out of the house, bumbles his way to find some poison, and tries to kill her. spoiler alert, he is wildly ignorant about poisons, and barely had any money to himself anyways, so he just makes her seriously ill. terrified that she was going to kill him in front of his brothers like she did his father, he decides the best course of action for them is to do what his sister did and leave. he tells them he loves them and will be back one day, apologizes over and over, and leaves them the pan flute his dad left him, as a trinket and a promise.

so he runs away! and he goes to the surface, learns a lot about nature and some about people. eventually he gets recruited in this adventurer's guild, which was actually pretty defunct and him and the new people he meets are tasked, if they will, with bringing it back to old glory. hes like, fuck it, its something to do, itll help me actually have someplace to stay, and id like to help other people. (spoiler alert: we've been doing pretty damn good for ourselves!)

his group (the guild is divided in two groups usually, though the members of the group swap around from time to time - but theyve been with the same group for a few months at the start) has this particularly handsome tiefling, who isnt afraid to show his distaste for zareyl for the simple act of being a drow. and you know what, zareyl doesnt mind that! he finds his honesty disarming, in a good way. he has trust issues, and heres a guy that isnt afraid to let him know he doesnt like him, and whats more honest than that? eventually they get to know each other better and they become friends, and at this point in time zareyl has fallen HAAARD for him. there was a point in a mission where zareyl kind of fell unconscious, bitch almost drowned, and Quies (the tiefling) did CPR on him - except that Zareyl wasn't unconscious, just paralyzed, and so he thinks back to that fucking kiss every week of his life. they also slept together in the same bed once and Zareyl barely got a wink of rest.

they have also adopted a false god baby together. 🤭 everyone was like "its a FALSE GOD, the last one was burning people to a crisp, you should kill it before it grows up to be evil" and we were like "um actually, fuck you, this is a literal baby and we don't believe in the concept of 'youre destined to be this and it cannot be changed', touch this baby and youre dead". so his name is Sedd and hes being taken care of by someone they trust as we keep on adventuring and they dote on him when they are back at the guild

ANYWAYS his current mission? going back to his hometown, to get his brothers. he feels so much guilt over leaving them, and hes terrified of what has happened to them in the meantime - but with a good guild with a solid set of people he trusts as staff (and a few kobolds), he finally has a home for them to go to where they can be safe and grow up properly. so that's where he's headed, and he's terrified, but his friends are there with him to support him. (im lowkey hoping we get to fight and kill his mom, but that might be too traumatizing for the brothers, so we'll see)

Some background for my Tav and his parents

If you even care

Pictures first

Tavish

Talice

Rian

His mother’s name is Talice. She’s a (mostly) full blooded drow, descended from Lolth sworn drow from Menzoberranzan on her father’s side while her mother came from a largely T'lindhet drow family and one of The First (the half-elf priestesses of Loviatar who ruled Dambrath.)

For most of her life growing up, Talice spent her time in either Dambrath or Menzoberranzan due to her parents having ancestral homes in both places. I was thinking her father’s house was maybe close friends and allies with the Do’Urden House (before the Drizzt fiasco) and consequently the house is not ranked very highly as of the present. Because of that, and the fact that Talice and her mother were technically not full drow, their time spent in Menzoberranzan wasn’t the most welcoming and eventually they decided to live full time in Dambrath.

Luckily, in Dambrath, Talice’s mother held high social status from being a Child of the First and having strong drow features, so growing up there was much more favorable.

Talice was very scholarly by nature and her time in Menzoberranzan as a youth bore some resentment towards the fact that she wasn’t a full blooded drow, so she took it upon herself to learn as much about her father’s House and relating Houses as possible in order to feel more connected with her full drow side. She ended up learning of the Do’Urdens and was quite enthralled by Drizzt. She halted her studies of becoming a Priestess of Loviatar and focused on a life of adventuring, combining her two passions to become a Cleric of Pain.

She devoted a lot of time to traveling with a group of other worshippers of Loviatar whose main goal was to spread the teachings of their Goddess. During one of these outings, the group was to travel through an area that didn’t take very kindly to the attempted religious conversion so as a precaution, more hired muscle joined the group.

This is when she met Rian, Tav’s father. I haven’t thought as much about him as I have Talice. He’s a fairly ordinary human, not originally from Dambrath. He grew up in Baldur’s Gate and as a teenager, he stumbled across the regrowing cult of Bhaal in the sewer ruins.

The cultists planned to sacrifice him to Bhaal but as he was in the throes of death, he made a pact: in order to live, he promised Bhaal his firstborn child. A new Bhaalspawn to replace the ones killed during the events of the original Baldur’s Gate games. Very Rumplestiltskin-esque, I’m aware. Rian becomes a Fiend Warlock in service of Bhaal, becoming a mercenary, hunting and killing not only for a living but also as an act of faith. He figures it’s better than murdering just anyone as he at least has reason from his employers to target these people.

Eventually he makes it to Dambrath, possibly because he heard of the need for muscle for the group Talice is a part of, or possibly because he already had a target in the area. I’m unsure of the reason as of right now. He likes it there and the contract he signs with Talice’s group means he’ll be there for a while. Maybe this is where he can finally settle down, he thinks, to give Bhaal his promised child.

He didn’t think he would actually fall in love. He planned on breaking free from his pact and running after the true nature of his child was revealed. He didn’t think he would become so passionate about Dambrath, Loviatar, and more specifically, Talice, who was near nobility due to her heritage, even if she didn’t act like it. Here is when he would take up an Oath of the Crown, vowing to protect Talice and the party and kill those who got in the way of their mission.

Despite all of this, I don’t think I would say Talice or Rian are completely evil, despite both of them serving quite evil Gods and committing evil acts in their names. I think I would say they were just. Eccentric. And devout. Or in Rian’s case, bound to it.

And then there’s Tavish, a half drow wild magic sorcerer, powers granted from not only his Fey ancestry from being a half elf but also the fact that he has Bhaal’s blood. His childhood is pretty good I’d think. His murderous tendencies don’t really show up for a long time. Rian wonders if Bhaal has made more Bhaalspawn in the time it took for him to settle down and just kind of forgot about their deal. Or maybe all the murder he did in service of him was enough to fulfill their pact. Talice teaches Tavish the history of her father’s family, even about the Do’Urden house and Drizzt, who they might be very distantly related to. He grows up following Loviatar just like his mother just not to the same extent as wanting to spread her teachings throughout more of Fae’run. He wants to explore and adventure the way his parents did, he wants to visit Baldur’s Gate where his father grew up even though he doesn’t talk about his time there much. He goes off into the world and then. He can’t remember much after that. Until he wakes up on the Nautiloid, with a tadpole in his head.

Read it here or on AO3!

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein & Caleb Widogast Characters: Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss, Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre, Caduceus Clay Additional Tags: Shadogast - Freeform, dunamancy, Empire Siblings - Freeform, Prank Wars, Tickling, rib tickling Summary:

What happens to a ticklish wizard when he manages to piss off too many of the people who love him? Allies are made and lessons are learned.

FIC

“Caleb Widogast!” Caleb jumped as he walked into the kitchen of the Xorhaus, unsure of what he could have possibly done to upset anyone this early in the morning. He was even more surprised when he saw who. “Essek?” Caleb stammered, taken aback. The drow was perched on a large kitchen chair with a cup of Caduceus’ tea in his hands and a pinched look on his face. “Schatze, I’m sorry, were we to meet? I hope you weren’t waiting long, I--” “No.” Essek corrected him sharply. “I am here to have tea with Mr. Clay at his request, to discuss the situation in Savalierwood. But he just told me that he healed some pretty distinct injuries for you, yesterday?” Caleb felt a guilty cringe fold his stomach in half. He sighed, looking at Caduceus. “So that just came up, ja?” “Yeah,” Caduceus responded, “thought it might be why you slept in.” “Ja, I had a bit of a fall--” “A fall? From where?” Essek’s gaze was intense. Caleb dropped his eyes to the floor. “Oh just, you know, clumsy--” “Really? You clumsily practiced dunamantic phasing on your own and fell through the floor?” “I think it was three floors, actually…” Caduceus mused quietly. The cringe came to the surface and showed, unbidden on Caleb’s face. “Essek, I--” “I have never limited you. It was the one thing I asked.” “I know, I--” “Caleb.” He froze when Essek cut him off, meeting the elf’s gaze once more. Essek stared him down hard before continuing. “I had… better masters than you had, when I was a young wizard. Infinitely gentler, certainly. But they would have whipped me for practicing phasing magic by myself. Truly. You could have cut yourself in half, dismembered yourself, crushed yourself, suffocated in a wall--” Essek seemed to cut himself off with a wave of his hand. “The point… the point is it would cause me a great heartbreak if irresponsible use of the magic I taught you led to your demise. Please promise me again, and keep it this time.” Caleb ducked his head, feeling like a rightfully scolded school child. “I will, ja. I am sorry.” Essek gave him a look that said he didn't entirely believe him. “I do trust you. I do not trust your curiosity. It’s only a virtue if it doesn’t get you killed.” Caleb laughed softly, nodding as he sat down at the table with them and accepted a teacup from the still-silent Caduceus. He winked at Essek. “I think I could say the same to you, but fair enough. If I do it again, I’ll let you whip me.” Essek smiled back, but the doubt didn’t leave his expression. ... “CALEB!” Beau’s voice thundered from upstairs, and Caduceus almost dropped the knife he was using to prepare vegetables for dinner. He spun around to see the wizard in question with his hands in his component pouch, running as fast as he could through the kitchen and out the back door. Beau’s quick steps followed, but by the time she was in the kitchen they could both hear the familiar woosh of a misty step from outside. She stopped stock-still in the kitchen, hands clenched into fists, looking… different than Caduceus had ever seen her. What was it? “Uh… hey. Did you get some new clothes.?” Beau turned to him silently, eyes burning holes in his head. It was pretty scary, actually. “Oh! Uh… is that what this is about?” Beau’s clothes were bright magenta where they had once been her usual cobalt blue. She was still staring at Caduceus with her fists clenched. Veth and Fjord were creeping wearily into the kitchen behind her. “I think it looks nice--!” Veth offered, only to choke off in a scared squeak when Beau rounded to face her. Beau reached out to yank Fjord’s hat off his head and put it on. “Hey!’ Fjord protested, before clamping one hand over his mouth to hide a smile. “Oh. I see.” As it perched on Beau’s head, the hat instantly turned the same bright magenta of her robes. When she handed it back it returned to its usual color. The whole room was biting lips to keep an amused smile off their face, lest they become the new target for her fury. Beau took a deep breath before bellowing again. “CALEB!” She spoke into the air, her voice loud enough to hear throughout the house. “I KNOW THAT SPELL DOESN’T GO FAR. I KNOW YOU’RE HERE, AND I AM GOING TO FUCKING GET YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME? I AM GOING TO DO DOPE MONK SHIT TO YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM, TIE YOU UP AND FEED YOU TO A ROOM FULL OF TIEFLINGS. You will FUCKING SUFFER! THINK OF A NEW NAME, CAUSE CALEB WIDOGAST IS A FUCKING DEAD MAN! ” At the end of her tirade Beau took a deep breath and started to walk upstairs again, but not before spinning around and jabbing a finger at everyone in the kitchen. “ANYONE caught harboring the wizard will share his fucking fate!” … "...CALEB WIDOGAST IS A FUCKING DEAD MAN! ” Caleb was sitting cross-legged on the floor of his hiding place in Fjord’s empty bedroom when Beau finished her threats, but by the time she was climbing the stairs again he had disappeared with a crackling pop. When the disorienting suck of the teleport spell faded he was standing on a clay path in a dimly-lit garden next to a trio of small towers made of iridescent grey brick. An arcane weather-vane creaked in the darkness. He started toward the door. “Caleb?” A head of pale curls popped up over the top of a bush of dark purple flowers, a frown of concern on the face beneath. “Essek, hello. Ah… may I spend the night?” Essek walked toward him as he pulled floral gardening gloves off of his hands, eyes narrowed wearily. “Of course, I am always happy to have you...” He reached Caleb and placed a distracted kiss on his cheek. “... did something happen at home?” “Yes.” Caleb answered, only to stutter as Essek’s worry grew, “Oh, ah, nothing bad. Well, nothing very bad. I just need to avoid Beauregard for a bit.” Essek’s worry immediately evaporated to be replaced with amused annoyance. “I see. What did you do this time?” They both started to stroll through the garden toward Essek’s back door. “Oh, just some illusion work. It will go away by morning. She deserves it, after stealing my spellbook while I was sleeping.” “Mhmm.” Essek hummed, linking his arm with Caleb’s. “But wasn’t her stealing your spellbook revenge for…” “The magic spiders, ja, but I had to do that! She--” “--the disappearing ink, yes, I remember. Are you sensing a pattern here, chathtiu?” Caleb sniffed and turned his nose up. “I have no idea what you mean.” Essek’s smile turned indulgent as he pulled Caleb into his home. “I’m sure you don’t. Beauregard does have a way of pushing your buttons, hm?” “She is the expert.” “I should ask her for advice, one of these days.” Caleb only laughed, pulling the smaller man into his arms. “You have your own way of pushing my buttons, don’t you schatz?” Essek smiled back. “You’re right, of course. I do.” ... Caleb stalked through the library of the Xorhause, circling it room by room. While his books were sitting on the desk he’d been working at the night before, their holsters were missing. He shifted the papers on his desk, panic rising in his chest. Where were they? “Caleb?” Jester was standing in the doorway, his holsters dangling from one finger. Caleb let out a sigh of relief. “Jester! Danke! Where were they?” “Sorry, I think Sprinkle must have stolen them.” Caleb shook his head, the tension in his chest easing. “That’s alright. I’m just glad they are found.” He reached out for them, stopping short when another figure entered the room. It was Beau, her clothes now back to their normal deep blue. Their eyes met for a moment, but the monk just breezed past as though she didn’t even notice Caleb was there. It had been a week since the incident with her clothes with no revenge or further threats, and Caleb was starting to wonder if he’d finally won the war. He shrugged his holsters on as the two women sat down on the sofa. He missed Jester’s giggle until it was too late. “Hey Caleb?” Beau asked. “Uh, ja?” Caleb cringed a little, turning around. Beau’s look was positively predatory. “Fuck you.” Caleb was about to respond when the sensation of fingers digging into his ribs flushed all the air out of him in one squeal. He spun around clumsily, hands flapping, but nobody was near him. He craned his neck to look down, his arms helplessly hugging his own ribcage while his knees buckled. That’s when he realized where the sensation was coming from. “Wh-what? No, I-- ah! Please!” His fingers fumbled with the buckle of his holsters to try and escape the traitorous leather trap, but the buckle was trapped under a magical seal of iridescent purple wax with the image of a skeleton key pressed into its surface. “Fuck!” Beaureguard was grinning like a gnoll. “What’s that buddy? Fuck you?” “Aah!” Caleb’s whole body convulsed and hit the carpet as the tickling escalated, even more invisible fingers reaching out from the leather to stroke delicate bones under pale skin and plain cloth. “No no! Please!” “Can I try?” Jester asked, giggling. “Nein!” “Sure, go for it.” “Fuck yooooou Caleb!” Caleb couldn’t answer her with words, he could only wail wordlessly. He writhed on the ground, trying desperately to resist the currently useless instinct to lock his arms at his sides so he could try and pull the holsters off over his head, but it was no use. All he could do was paw uselessly at the leather before Beureguard hissed the trigger word again and all he could see was stars. “Uh… everything alright in here?” Fjord’s voice came from the direction of the door. Caleb couldn’t see him over the sofa. “Fjord!” Caleb screeched. “Plea-hee-se! Evil!” It was all he could get out before his voice cracked and his laughter turned silent, his head thrown back against the carpet. “Huh?” Beau answered in an exaggeratedly casual tone. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Just getting a little payback for my pink phase. Stole his holsters and Essek cursed ‘em.” A wave of betrayal strong enough to overpower his ticklishness gave Caleb just enough breath to shout “WHAT?!” before the laughter overtook him again, tears building in his eyes. “I helped with the ruse!” Jester piped up. “Uh-huh.” Fjord nodded, “can he breathe?” “Hmm? Oh, I guess we can check. Good boy, Caleb.” The sensation stopped all at once, and Caleb rolled flat on his back to gulp in air. “See? He’s fine.” Caleb sat up, hands held out in supplication even as he struggled to catch his breath. “Beau, please, I’m s-” “Fuck you and your apology.” Any strength Caleb had recovered melted away as he squealed and flopped back down on the carpet, limbs curling uselessly against his body. The tickling fingers coming from the inner panels of his holsters might as well have been sucking his very life-force out. Fjord lets out a sigh. “If you’re going to torture him for a prank, you at least have to let him apologise. Good boy?” Caleb didn’t get up this time, too scared to trigger someone’s wrath or sense of mischief. He was still giggling, partially from phantom sensation and partially from the panicky tension of knowing that any of them could trigger the curse at any moment. “I’m sorry! Bitte!” There was a beat of silence before Beau turned to Fjord again. “There, I let him apologise. Can we go back to the torture now?” “Wait!” Caleb squeaked, rising unsteadily to his knees. “Please Beau, we can talk about this--” “Oh, you wanna talk now? Cause when it happened you were happy to teleport away to your fucking boyfriend’s. So… you know,” she finished with a grin, “fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU.” “Nein!” Was all Caleb could manage before his laughter stole his voice away, only to crack and go silent once more a moment later. Tears leaked from his eyes to roll into the fluffy carpet beneath him as he crumpled. “Oh, he’s so cute when he cries, I love it!” Jester clapped her hands while she watched from the sofa. “This is the best curse ever.” Fjord made an agreeable sound. “I wonder if Essek could make something more remote? Then we could tickle him wherever we are. That would be fun.” Caleb couldn’t respond to the idea with anything more than pained wail through his hysterics. The others pretended not to notice. “Yeah, I do worry that he goes without when we’re gone.” Jester cooed. “Pfft. Yeah, I don’t think Essek is letting that happen.” Beau snorted. Caleb started to beat at the floor with one hand, hiccups punctuating his laughter. “Aw, alright. Good boy.” The sensation stopped again, but Caleb couldn’t stop his laughter. “Please, pleaheese, *hic* bitte--” “Focus on catching your breath.” Fjord suggested, “It’ll do you more good than begging will.” Caleb let out an exhausted little sob before obeying, his lungs working overtime to suck in air. He wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to make the hiccups go away with little success. When his breathing finally evened out Fjord gave him a reassuring smile. “See, that’s better.” Fjord soothed. Beau’s grin got wider. “Hey, Caleb?” “No!” “Fffffffffff…” “Mercy!” “...uuuuck you!” “Aaii!” Caleb let out a little yelp at the sound of the words, then… nothing. He’d clenched his eyes shut in anticipation, and when he slowly opened them Beau was glaring at him. “Hey! How come it didn’t work?” Caleb let out a huge sigh of relief. The curse must have expended all of its energy. “Is it done?” Jester questioned. Caleb was wondering the same thing. He tried to examine the buckle of his holsters as subtly as possible. The seal was still there, which meant whatever the curse was, it was not over. He needed to get out of earshot as quickly as he could. “I thought it was supposed to last longer than that. Can you message Essek?” “Sure!” Caleb started to cast for misty step as subtly as he could, hoping he was close enough to his lab to lock himself inside. “Hi Essek, it’s Jester! So, your awesome curse thingy is SO great, but like, but it ran out of tickles? Do you know why?” Whoosh. Caleb hit the stone floor of his lab with an oof, dragging himself to his feet and transmuting the door of the lab into stone for good measure. As he groaned he saw that the room looked quite different compared to how he had left it the night before. The large chalkboard he used for calculations had been moved into the centre of the room. In one corner someone had drawn a symbol-- a skeleton key, like the one on the seal trapping him in his holsters. Next to it someone had written in familiar, looping script: I will not practice phasing unsupervised. X100 Caleb whipped out the enchanted little book he and Essek used to send messages between them, only to find a new one waiting for him. You have 30 minutes. Caleb was glad nobody was there to watch him gape like a fish between the chalkboard and the book. Essek couldn’t be serious. He frowned and grabbed up a quill. You are a traitorous snake! There was only a single silent moment before the page shimmered and revealed another message under Caleb’s. Noted. Now you only have 25 minutes. Caleb took a moment to say every curse word in every language he knew. Then he stood up, snatched the chalk and started writing.

Colorful Flames

A Caleb Widogast x Jester Lavorre fic 

with a little bit of Shadowgast sprinkled in

Caleb struggles with his past and the relationships he's making in the present. A kind of sequel to MintoKitsune's "All I Need is Your Light." 

warnings: angst, general Caleb feelings 

word count: 2.3k

Spoilers up to c2ep103

Caleb was sure his feelings for the blue tiefling girl would go away. He was certain that they had only appeared because she reminded him so much of a girl he once knew. And there were some nights when he felt like those feelings weren’t there anymore. Nights when he was pouring over a spell book, and he’d look up quickly to see a certain drow sitting on the other side of the table from him. The drow’s white hair falling in front of his face, a face so deep in concentration he didn’t even notice that Caleb was staring.

Caleb’s feelings for Jester seemed to linger with him everywhere he went, but sometimes the blue tiefling and the purple drow would mix together in his head, and all he could see was a beautiful new color. A color Caleb was sure he only saw in his most wonderful dreams. They were complete opposites, Jester and Essek, but somehow Caleb was unwillingly attracted to both with the same amount of passion he once felt for a girl when he was just 15.

There was one thing that Caleb knew to be the absolute truth, and that was that Essek was his best chance of becoming a better wizard. Essek, with his wonderful towers in the middle of Rosohna, his seemingly endless patience when it came to helping the Mighty Nein, and, honestly, Caleb’s true counterpart on this side of Wildemount.

Essek, the prodigy. Essek, who betrayed his home country. Essek, the true cause of the war they just spent months putting a stop to.

Caleb had never felt more conflicted in his life. He saw himself in every bit of Essek, and these new revelations didn’t change that view point. Still, Caleb was sure he would never betray his own home for personal gain. Caleb stated that as a fact, though it didn’t feel like one when he said it. Caleb would do anything to destroy the monster who ruined his life and family, and that was purely personal.

As he sat in the sand on a beach on Rumblecusp, preparing their sleeping quarters for the night, he heard Jester sit down in a huff a few feet away from him. Her back was to him, but he could hear her talking to an unseen entity. He tried hard not to listen in on their conversation, but his ears still picked up bits and pieces. She was trying not to cry; he could hear that in her voice. She looked up at the moon and suddenly her conversation stopped.

“You okay over there?” he asked, gaining Jester’s attention.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “I’m just drawing.” She quickly picked up her pencil and pretended to draw in her journal.

Why did she feel the need to lie to him? At this point, they all knew what the Traveler was like. They all knew that this was an elaborate trick, and her god didn’t really care that much.

“Didn’t go as well as you were hoping?” Caleb asked, hoping to get more information out of her.

She was hesitant, but answered anyway. “In some ways it went better. But no.” Jester let out a sigh, and Caleb could swear that he could read all her emotions right then and there.

“I can’t speak for him,” Caleb said, “but you do have us. So whatever you land on, Jester, we’ll make it happen.”

Her eyes were still filled with tears, and it was difficult for her to get words out. “I have to figure out what I want to land on.”

“Maybe we sleep on it, it’ll make more sense in the morning,” Caleb suggested. It had been a long day, and Caleb was exhausted. To be fair, he was exhausted every day, but this island did things to him that he did not like.

“Yeah,” Jester said, wiping the last of her tears from her eyes. “Thank you, Caleb.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Caleb said in a voice so quiet, he wasn’t sure she even heard him.

He was slowly learning that Jester was so much more than that initial impression he got from her. When they first met, over a year ago, Caleb was sure that she was just another annoying person in his life, but he was willing to deal with it if this group could help him and Nott find solace in their lives. Now he knew more about Jester than he ever thought he would.

Jester had character, and was far more than just another bubbly personality. Though a person would never know, unless they got to know her like the Nein did, Jester hadn’t had the best life. Caleb grew up with a loving mother and father, and they gave him everything he needed in life for 15 years. He knew that both of his parents loved him, and they allowed him to go out and experience the world.

Marion loved Jester more than anything in this world, but she still sheltered her daughter. Jester’s only friend was a fake god who mostly used her for his own personal gain. A friend who made her cry because he wouldn’t tell her the truth. Jester’s father left, and it took him over 20 years to even acknowledge that she existed.

Jester was more than the pale blue flame that Caleb could see illuminating her when he was at his darkest. Jester didn’t exist just to light other people’s paths. Caleb knew this flame flickered out from time to time, as he saw just moments ago as she cried into her sketchbook. Jester’s flame was for herself, and her friends were there to help kindle her fire. The Nein were here to help each other. Tonight, Caleb was sure he would help his friends with the ridiculous problem this island gave them.

Caleb and Veth sat side by side under the dome, pale amber figures dancing around them.

“With just a little bit of jade?” Veth asked as she watched a version of her and Yeza looking down at their newborn son.

Caleb nodded. “We have learned a lot.”

The rest of the group joined them, and they all sat in awe as the amber menagerie of memories swirled between them. Caleb was hoping more than anything that this beautiful display of memories, of their life together, would help them remember who they are. For the first time in a while, Caleb fell asleep with only happy memories circling in his head.

The redhead stirred in his sleep, unable to find peace even in this state of unconsciousness. His mind raced with memories of a life he once knew. Astrid and Eadwulf in their youth, laughing with him as they studied in the library at the academy. Him and Astrid sneaking around together, hoping their mentor wouldn’t find out. The wonderful faces of his mother and father. He dreamed of a garden he helped plant once, just outside the small house he grew up in.

Bren was standing in the garden, looking up at the night sky above him when he heard his mother call for him. Suddenly he felt an immense heat on his back, and he turned around to see flames. His mother was standing in the doorway of their house, orange flames nearly enveloping her.

“Bren,” she whispered.

“Mother, I am so sorry.” His voice sounded almost foreign to him. He took a few steps towards her, reaching out a hand to help her out of the flames.

She took a step back into the house, the flames fully engulfing her. She disappeared, and the flames burned hotter and brighter, causing Bren to take a step back and cover his face with his arm. When he moved his arm away, his childhood house was gone, but the flames remained, only they were red this time.

A female figure appeared in the center of them. She walked forward, her facial features becoming clearer. She looked just as she did the day he first met her.

“Astrid,” Bren breathed out, “let me help you before you burn yourself.”

She looked at him, her face cold and unfeeling. “Oh, Bren, only you could burn me bad enough to hurt.” She turned her head, and there on her neck was the burn that he knew he left.

He could feel the tears starting to form in his eyes, and he tried his best to keep them from falling. He reached up to rub them away, and when he opened his eyes again Astrid was gone. The flames had changed from red to purple. He knew what was coming.

“Essek!” Caleb called out, searching the flames for any sign of the drow. “Essek?”

“Caleb,” a voice said from behind Caleb. He turned around to see that the flames had completely surrounded him now. Essek stood only a few feet away, the flames just barely reaching his cloak. “There’s no helping me now. I did what I had to do to learn more about the luxon. I accept what this made me.”

“We can help you, Essek,” Caleb said, taking a step forward and putting a hand on Essek’s shoulder. “You are not lost.”

“I appreciate your kindness, Caleb.” Essek reached up and took Caleb’s hand off his shoulder and brought it up to his mouth. He kissed his knuckles softly before letting go. Caleb let his hand drop to his waist as he watched Essek back up into the flames and disappear.

Suddenly the flames dropped and Caleb was left in complete darkness. He was sure the dream had ended and he was just laying under the dome with his eyes closed, but when he tried to open them nothing happened.

He felt an arm rest on his back from behind, like someone was trying to read over his shoulder.

“What’re you reading, Caleb?” The voice was unmistakably Jester’s. The room lit up in a soft blue glow.

Caleb looked down at the book that was now in his hands. There was nothing written on the page. He flipped the page, and the next page was also blank. He looked over his shoulder at Jester, who was staring down at the book still.

“Uhhh,” Caleb started, trying to think about what to say. “Just a book about the history of Rexxentrum. It’s all in Zemniam though.”

“Boring,” Jester said with a sigh. “Do you ever read anything interesting?”

“No,” was all Caleb answered. Jester moved to be in front of him.

“Caleb?” Jester said, causing him to look up at her.

“Ja?”

The soft blue glow that lit the room started to become more intense. Caleb could see the flames out of the corners of his eyes as he stared at Jester.

“Would you ever betray us, Caleb?” Jester asked. Her gaze never left his. Her pink eyes shifted between his, looking for any sort of emotional response.

Caleb was stunned for only a second before his eyes quickly averted hers. He looked back down at the blank pages of his book.

“Never intentionally,” he mumbled. He could feel her eyes still on him.

“Even if Astrid offered you everything you wanted in life to rejoin their side?”

“I could never work for Trent again.”

“What about Essek?” Jester asked.

Caleb looked up at her briefly. The flames had gotten significantly closer to them, the bright light illuminating her face. ���What about him?”

“He’s taught you a lot in the past few months. Would you betray us to learn everything you could from him?”

Caleb shook his head. “I don’t think Essek would ever truly be against us. He believes in knowledge, and so do I.”

“That sounds like a yes,” Jester said. Caleb wasn’t sure what to say to that. Jester backed up into the flames.

“What about you, Jester?” Caleb asked. She tilted her head, confused. “You’re being consumed by The Traveler. Would you betray us for him?”

“I love him only second to my mother,” Jester said, the flames dancing around her hair.

“Now, that sounds like a yes,” Caleb said. He finally closed his book and focused all his attention on Jester. She looked beautiful in the blue light, but Caleb knew the fire was consuming her, and she would be gone soon. “Don’t let his ideals consume you, Jester. He is not everything. You have your friends too.”

“Thank you, Caleb,” Jester said as the fire fully consumed her, her voice fading out.

“I didn’t do anything,” Caleb said, repeating the end of the conversation they had earlier that night.

He was tired. More tired than he thought you should be able to feel in a dream. Sleep sounded amazing. He put the book on the floor and layed down, using it as a pillow. As soon as he closed his eyes they were open again. This time he was staring at the roof of the dome. He let out a sigh and looked around at his friends. Vilya stared back at him. He sat up to talk to her.

“Bad dream?” she asked him.

“Just a weird one,” he told her.

“You know you mumble in your sleep,” she said. He stayed silent. “You said her name.” She gestured over at Jester.

“Ja,” he sighed. “She’s going through a lot right now.”

“Aren’t we all,” Vilya said with a light chuckle.

“We wouldn’t be here without her.”

“She means a lot to you, I can tell.” Vilya said. She could see Caleb tense at those words. “To all of you.”

Caleb just nodded his head.

“If it means anything,” Vilya whispered, “I know what it feels like to long for a loved one.”

“But you know yours love you back,” Caleb told her.

“I see how she looks at you,” Vilya said. Their conversation ended with that, as Caleb wasn’t sure what to say anymore.

Caleb sat in silence for almost an hour before he realized that he had just said aloud that he loved Jester. It hadn’t been exact wording, but the word “love” was in there. That scared Caleb more than the peculiar dream he had just had. Caleb’s emotions had always been a huge puzzle, even to himself, but just admitting that one thing was enough to keep him up the rest of the night.

Survival is a Talent {Part One}

AO3

“What is it?” Beau asked, frowning down at the swaddled creature in the crook of her elbow.

Caleb stood beside her, nervously scratching his arm as he watched it squirm. “I believe, Beauregard, that that is a half-elf baby.”

“I know what it is,” she hissed.

“Then why did you as-”

“I don’t know!” The baby’s face screwed up in distress at the shouting and Beau cursed as her little lip started to wiggle. “Fuck, what do I do? What- Shh, shh, don’t cry. I’m sorry, I won’t yell.” She started bouncing quickly, rising up on the tips of her toes and then falling back down sharply. The baby had the dark purple skin of a drow and the slightly pointed little ears of a half elf. She was wearing a cloth diaper and was wrapped in a beige and red plaid blanket that was fastened closed by an elegant hair clip.

“Wait, wait, wait-” Jester said, reaching out to grab Beau’s shoulders and hold her down. “Slower, slow. Can I hold her?”

Beau practically shoved the baby into Jester’s arms. “Please.” When she was baby free, she threw up her hands and turned away to pace along the alleyway.

Jester grinned and lifted the girl up above her head. “Hello, little baby! Hello, are you having a good-” The baby burped and spit up landed with a splash right on Jester’s face. She sighed and closed her eyes to keep it from getting in and held the baby out to where she’d last seen Caleb. “Okay. I’m done now.”

Caleb hesitated but took the baby and looked back at the others who were keeping their distance. He cleared his throat and looked down into the baby’s wide brown eyes as she gummed at her own fist. He thought of the dead drow woman laying nearby, presumably the mother. “Ah. Hallo. Do you know where we can find your next of kin?” 

Beau groaned. “Oh my god…” she mumbled. “Does anyone in this fucking group know how to take care of a baby? Caduceus? You had siblings, right?”

“Older siblings. I’ve never been this close to a baby before. But I could give it my best shot.”

Beau instead looked at Fjord, who shrugged, then Jester, who was cleaning off her face and muttering angrily to herself, then to Nott. A lightbulb went off in her head. “Nott! You’re, like, a mother or something, right?”

“I’m not ‘like’ a mother or something. I am a mother.”

Beau snatched the child from Caleb’s grip and held her towards Nott. “Here.”

Nott gave the child a critical glance. “She’s… so much bigger than Luc was at this age. I don’t know if I can hold her.”

“Don’t say that, you’re gonna give her body issues,” Beau chided. “Look, just sit down or something and we’ll put her in your lap while we go get supplies and try to figure out where she came from.”

Nott sighed but sat down on the ground with her back against the stone wall of their house. Caduceus had heard the crying from the dining room while they were all eating breakfast and had come to investigate. The woman was dead when they arrived.

“I bet that she’s from a border town,” Jester said, her voice taking on a dreamy tone. “She was out picking flowers one day when she came across an injured human man who was escaping bandits in the mountains. She took him back to her little cottage and they fell in love even though they knew they shouldn’t. The made love in the moonlight and he left to go back home to take care of his sick mother but he promised to come back for her when he could but then she discovered that she was pregnant! She came to the city for medical attention but when the nurses saw that it was a half human baby they grew violent and called the guards. She ran for her child’s life and has been in hiding ever since, but tonight she was found and chased down until she was shot dead in the back!”

“Natural causes,” Caduceus said, checking the woman’s body over. “She died from pneumonia.”

Jester pouted and crossed her arms. It wasn’t nearly as romantic.

“Is the baby sick?” Beau asked, pausing as she tried to situate her into Nott’s lap. She was more than half nott’s size, almost two feet in length.

Caduceus frowned and shook his head. “I don’t believe they had enough contact for it to transfer. This isn’t the baby’s mother. She’s been dead for two days and moved here.”

Beau frowned and stood up while Nott struggled to hold the baby’s giant head up off the ground. The baby started to cry again and wiggled violently and Fjord rushed to keep her from falling down hard.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Beau asked. “Was this staged? Someone dragged her here and dropped the baby beside her... why? What do they want?”

Caduceus frowned and looked solemnly back at the baby. “So that we would find her and take care of her. Maybe they assumed we’d think this woman was the mother.  I suspect, if we investigate this woman we’ll find she had no family or anyone who would miss her body. No one who would be willing to take ‘her daughter’,” his finger quotes were clunky and odd looking. “-off our hands.”

“So this is just a convoluted way for someone to abandon their baby?”

“They wanted us specifically to find it though?” Caleb asked, moving over to check the woman for clues. “Because it is half human?”

“I suspect half human children aren’t common in these parts. The baby looks drow but it will have the metabolism closer to that of a human and will need specialized care that a drow unfamiliar with them would be unable to properly provide. We have humans in our group and the rest of us are very familiar with humans and their anatomy, they probably hoped we’d know what to do.”

“We don’t though!” Beau exclaimed. “We don’t know what to do!” She turned to look at Caleb with wide, scared eyes. “What do we do?”

“We need food,” Nott said. Beau and Caleb spun around to look at her as she gently leaned the baby back and forth. “She hasn’t been here long, she’s not cold, but it’s better to have it ready than scramble for it when the time comes.”

“We can mash up some carrots?”

Nott nodded. “We can do some vegetables. She can probably handle stuff like rice, maybe some plain, soft beans. And diapers. Not for eating, for the other end.”

Beau nodded and walked over to pick up the baby and hold her at arm's length. “Alright. Some of us should stay at the house with her and get her set up. We have some milk in the ice box but we’ll need more supplies. The rest of us will go shopping and then try to find her mom.” 

Jester turned to Fjord and found that there was some moisture gathering at the corners of his eyes. “You alright?” she asked, quietly as everyone moved out of the alley.

Fjord cleared his throat and nodded. “I-I’m fine. It’s just… they left her.”

Jester gave him a small smile and put her hand on his arm. “But now she’s with us just like you are. We’ll take care of her until she finds her family again.” She gave him a bright smile and started skipping after the others.

Fjord heard Beau call out from around the corner. “Hey Nott, how do I hold this thing!”

Jester gasped. “Don’t call her a ‘thing’, Beau! She’s a beautiful, perfect little ange- ah! Don’t give her to me! Ew, she’s got spit up all over mouth.”

Fjord sighed and started to follow.

-

Essek stared at the baby with a curious frown. “A half drow child,” he mumbled. “How unusual.”

Nott had volunteered to watch the baby and Fjord had drawn the short straw so they were both stuck at the house, Nott with the baby in her lap and Fjord pacing across the room. “So you have no idea who she could belong to?” They had called Essek over before Jester left because there was a dead body behind their house and they needed a grown up to deal with it.

Essek hummed. “Not a clue. You said the scene you found was staged?”

Fjord nodded, chewing on his fingernail. “Beau thinks it was someone’s convoluted way of abandoning her and throwing us off their trail.”

Essek looked thoughtful. “I am inclined to agree with her, though I would appreciate it if you did not tell her so.”

Nott nodded sagely. “Yeah, we get it, we won’t tell her.”

“What can you tell us about the woman?” Fjord asked. 

Essek frowned and crossed his arms, idly tapping his finger on the inside of his elbow as he pondered. “I did not recognize her but I have a group of guards coming over to collect her body. If she’s a few days dead, I imagine that she was stolen from a morgue. I’ll have someone go around and inquire about any morgues missing a body. My suspicion though?” He sighed. “There is no report with the guard’s office about a missing body. Either the leader of the morgue is incompetant and doesn’t realize the body is gone or she never made it to a morgue in the first place.”

Fjord frowned. “Then how did the real mother find her?”

Essek considered this for a moment. “Perhaps she merely stumbled across the body by chance. Perhaps she knew the woman somehow. Speculation at this point is useless, we do not have enough information.” He seemed about to turn to the door and leave, but paused and looked back at them. “Will you all be okay with taking care of the girl until we get this settled? I have no other people familiar enough with her needs that I could trust such a sensitive matter too. I will have someone begin working on finding her a suitable home but for now…” he trailed off, staring at the half-elf in Nott’s lap as she snored quietly.

“Of course,” Fjord said, nodding.

Essek nodded back and then continued towards the door. “I have much to do, I will contact you with my findings. Farewell.” Then he left them alone in the dining room of their house. There was a ruckus at the door. “Oh, Jester. How.. lovely to see you,” Nott heard Essek say dryly.

“Hi, Essek,” but she didn’t stop to bother him today and ran right for the dining room, squealing when she saw them sitting there. “We got things for the wittle baby!”

Caduceus followed her in with a small, tranquil smile and held up a burlap bag. “Diapers and milk.”

Jester gasped. “And I found her the cutiest little purple dress and I just really, really hope she doesn’t puke all over it right away.”

Nott sighed and held the baby out to Caduceus, who took her extremely carefully into his arms. “I’ll set up a diaper change station. Fjord, go get me one of your clean shirts that you don’t mind never seeing again.”

Fjord blinked and uncrossed his arms. “For… For what?”

“For cleaning up poop.”

Fjord winced. “What? Why my shirts?”

“Because you spent the entire time they were gone complaining right in my ear. Shirts, now.” Fjord groaned and sulked out of the room while Nott started pulling the diapers out of the bag. “Where are Caleb and Beau?”

“Sleuthing,” Caduceus said. “Beau said that they were going to see what they could find out about this dead woman and see if anyone knew about a half elf baby being born in town.” Nott frowned but let it go, instead focusing on find a clean enough surface to work with.

“We should name her,” Jester said, rocking back and forth on her feet at a safe distance from the baby's vomit hole.

Caduceus was holding her gently in the crook of his arm, bouncing her and swaying slowly back and forth like Nott had shown him before. “She’s several months old, I suspect she already has a name.”

“Yes, but we don’t know it and she can’t tell us. So maybe we can give her a temporary name, like a nickname. Something cute like… Matilda or Calla Lily or Sunshine.”

“Matilda is nice,” Nott said, laying the baby down on the table and undoing her clothes to change her diaper. 

Fjord was frowning as he walked back into the room. “Matilda? No way.”

Jester gasped at him. “What’s wrong with Matilda?”

Fjord handed his shirts over to Nott reluctantly. “It’s an old lady name. Seeing a kid with an old lady name is just… off putting.”

Jester pouted. “Well, I think Matilda is lovely. Do you have any ideas?”

“He has a silent ‘J’ in his name,” Nott interjected. “He shouldn’t have any naming rights at all.”

Fjord and Nott started to bicker and Jester blocked them out, turning to Caduceus so that she could make faces at the baby. “What do you think, Caduceus?” 

Caduceus didn’t answer right away but he looked thoughtful. “Suvi. She was left alone in a heartless, deadly world but she is a survivor. Suvi for short.”

“Oh, Suvi is perfect! I love it so much!” She grinned and let the baby grab her finger. “Hi there baby Suvi! We’re going to take such very, very good care of you until we find your family. I promise.”

Suvi just stared up at her with big, dark eyes and gave a little cough, shooting spit up down her bare chest and Jester’s hand.

“Oh, why does this keep happening!” Jester exclaimed, rushing over to the wash basin.

Nott finished laying out one of Fjord’s shirts on the table and then made grabby hands towards the baby. “Here, sit her down. Diaper change. I’ll show you all how to do it, but then we’ll take turns, alright? I’m not being saddled with this by myself. And I’m not doing any fucking blow outs, so you just need to draw straws or something.”

Fjord blinked at her incomprehensibly. “What’s a blow out?”

Nott snorted. “You’ll know it when you see it.”

-

Beau was getting antsy. She was sitting in the chair of the guard’s station, chewing anxiously on her cheek and tapping her foot. “Why the fuck won’t anyone talk to us,” she hissed.

Caleb sighed, tapping his fingers against his knees. “Maybe it was a bad idea for just the two humans to do this?” he suggested, watching two of the guards across the room looked at them with disdain and talk quietly with one another. “We cannot get any information if the people here are too suspicious to speak to us.”

“Goddamn it,” Beau hissed, probably a little too loudly. “Prejudice blows.”

It was perhaps the understatement of a lifetime but Caleb just shrugged in agreement. Caleb looked up when the front door opened and he sat up straight when Essek walked inside. “Ah, Essek!” he called, clearing his throat and getting swiftly to his feet.

Essek looked over at them and smiled softly. “Ah, Caleb, Beauregard. I assume that you’re here for the same reason that I am?”

Beau hopped to her feet and marched over to him, tension in every line of her body but Essek didn’t seem bothered. The guards nearby all reached for their weapons, though none of them drew yet. “We’re here to see missing persons reports from the last few weeks but these clowns keep giving us the runaround. We even flashed our badges but they won’t listen.” She snapped her head around to glare at the guard at the desk who had been telling her ‘Just five more minutes’ for the last hour and a half. “A woman is dead and there’s a baby without a family and these fuckers don’t even care cause we’re human. Fuck all of you!” Caleb put a hand on her shoulder, maybe to hold her back, maybe to calm her down, and squeezed. She growled under her breath from the effort it took to keep from yelling some more and just relaxed beside him. 

Caleb sighed and cleared his throat. “Beau is just a little high strung. She is really worried about the baby.” Beau sneered and crossed her arms but didn’t speak. “Do you think you would be able to assist us?”

Essek just smiled, seemingly unbothered by Beau’s outburst. “Of course. I'm here to ask if any of the local morgues were missing bodies, I didn’t think to check missing persons, that’s a good idea. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Essek,” Caleb sighed.

Beau was still fuming when they both walked back over to their chairs and Essek was lead inside a door across the room. “I’m not worried about the baby,” Beau said quietly. “I just want to get her out of our hair. We’ve got more important things to worry about.”

Caleb pat her shoulder placatingly. “Of course.”

100 Warm-Up Roleplaying Questions for Players

Character: Amur Universe: Pathfinder Gender/Race/Class: Male human Paladin/Holy Vindicator Alignment: NG/CG Questions source: here

Full (long) post under the cut.

1. If your character wasn’t an adventurer, what livelihood would they lead?

His parents were peasants who worked as labourers, so probably that. If he ever receives charity from any organisation, he’d strive to work for them.

2. Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life?

If it’s strictly his life, Niyooshan - for some reason the alchemist seems to refuse to let him die or even get too hurt. Maybe it’s a healer thing. 

If it’s about making decisions based on his best interest... he doesn’t trust anyone in the current party with that at the moment.

3. What are your character’s core moral beliefs?

People are essentially good. 

Mercy and compassion is no less important than justice and righteousness. 

Any good is worth doing. 

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.

4. What relationship does your character have with their parents and siblings?

He left home at the age of 8, and his parents were largely absentee in those years. He honours them out of societal expectations of filial piety, but that’s about it.

He’s the second child of five. His older brother (1st) and younger sister (4th) passed when he was 7; he depended a lot on the former, and got along well with the latter as they have the most similar personalities amongst the siblings at the time. 

For his surviving siblings, he is very close to his younger brother (3rd, only a year his junior), and they still exchange letters frequently. He and his youngest sister (5th) barely knew one another until they reunited recently as adults.

5. Does your character have any biases for or against certain races?

Having the privilege of being human, he has the common in-universe biases but he tries his best to check them. He does this especially consciously when it comes to race/ancestry (i.e. species) - one of his friends from his apprentice days was lynched for being a drow. 

6. What is your character’s opinion on nobility? On authority?

He respects nobility who is responsible in their post, and righteous authority. 

Otherwise he tolerates them and tries not to cause trouble... unless they do something with which he greatly disagrees morally.

7. Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armour, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc.

(Skipping the part about scars - addressed in #21)

He dresses in full, heavy plate armour complete with a kite shield when out in the field or in battle. 

During downtime, he wears simple tunics with trousers and boots, usually with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Sometimes he wears a gambeson on top or a leather cuirass for more formality. 

8. What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most?

(Answering the second part - first part addressed in #40.) 

The small towns and villages they’ve passed through with down-to-earth folks. Though he also likes cities with rich histories and culture.

9. What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship?

Sarenrae - the goddess of the sun, redemption, honesty, and healing. 

He respects most other gods and religions on the good or neutral side of the good-evil axis. With evil gods, he tries not to judge their believers until evil actions based on such beliefs are actually taken.

10. If your character had time to pick up any artisan’s tools, game set, instrument, etc., what would it be?

Some sort of sculpture, maybe pottery or carving. He’s a very tactile person.

11. Describe your character’s current relationship with the player character sitting to your right.

(Rolling 1d3 between 1. Amalli, 2. Mawari, 3. Niyooshan)

AMALLI: It’s complicated - he trusts that she means well and has his best interest in mind, however what she considers “best” is rather... unusual. He teeters between having faith that she is kind by nature, and being annoyed at her messed up values and principles ingrained by nurture. 

12. What is your character’s current goal, summed up in one sentence?

Save the sun, keep his uncle alive, vindicate his friend’s honour.

13. Does your character ever want to “settle down” with a spouse, children, house, etc.?

He’s a sojourner who feels uneasy if he has to stay in one place for an extended amount of time. At this point he’s accepted the single life; it makes it easier to travel.

14. Has your character ever been in love?

He’s aromantic/asexual and can’t really distinguish between romantic and platonic love very well. He does love his friends and found family deeply however.

15. What battle in the campaign has been most memorable to your character?

Against a dragon turtle which is also a divine guardian of sorts. The party angered it and was having trouble hurting it at all; he used Greater Angelic Aspect for the first time to speak to it so it would stop attacking them. It eventually involved taking a massive hit for it and dying (for the first time since level 1), but it ended the battle with no further damages to the party.

16. If your character wasn’t whatever class they are, what would they be instead?

A cleric. Arguably with his temperament he’d have turned out better as one.

17. What is your character’s favourite season?

Spring - the sun gets stronger, the day gets longer, the plants and animals become livelier. 

18. What would your character’s Zodiac sign be, following stereotypical astrology?

Pisces.

19. Where in the world does your character most want to visit?

If it’s only Golarion and the material plane - the Padishah Empire of Kelesh.

20. What is the biggest mistake your character has ever made?

Boy where do we begin. A few months ago he’d have said “going to pee alone that one time”, but he’s okay with that now. 

He thinks his biggest mistake was to give in to despair and as a result fell from grace and lost his god-given powers. He counts the lives lost that could otherwise be saved as his fault.

21. Does your character have any noticeable scars? If so, what are their stories?

A scar on his neck from a time when he wanted to kill himself, and a stigmata in the form of a sunburst brand on his right hand from when he became a Holy Vindicator.

22. What animal best represents your character?

Bison - sometimes peaceful and absentminded, other times temperamental; bull-headed, tough and hardy, and stubborn.

23. If your character could go back in time and change one thing about their life, what would it be?

Aside from not falling from grace as per #20... pick a more common language to learn in school. See #95.

24. Which other player character does your character find themselves having the most in common with?

Those in the first adventuring party he’s had - with Adeline, Mirele, and Kebarong. Simple people with simple needs. Their personalities may be very different, but at least they live in worlds that are relatable.

25. Does your character regret any particular choice the party has made?

Anything that involves the deaths of innocents, even/especially if it’s for the “greater good”. 

26. What would your character say their best trait would be?

His faith in humanity.

27. What is your character’s greatest fear? Deep, irrational?

Having his soul doomed in one way or another. Presently the most plausible method by which this can happen is to have it torn asunder and destroyed.

28. What is currently motivating your character to stay with the party?

He knows he can’t do much of anything alone - not only does he play a supportive role in combat, he needs his companions’ skills, qualities, experience, and expertise to achieve the massive goal they all share (to a degree) - see #12.

29. What are your character’s hobbies and interests outside of their class?

Animals (especially felines), writing letters, pleasant long walks somewhere outdoors.

30. What would most people think when they first see your character?

Big, shiny, clangy, scary-looking, heavily-armoured man. He himself is completely unaware of this perception.

31. What stereotypical group role does your character play in the party? (The Mom, the Mess, the Comic Relief, etc. Optionally: What role would your character play in the “Five Man Band” structure?)

Often he’s the Heart. In a Five Man Band he’d be (conditionally) the Leader, the Lancer, or the Chick.

32. What is your character the most insecure about?

His terrible schmoozing skills.

33. What person does your character admire most?

His benefactor, mentor, and mother figure - a cleric who gave up her peaceful life and comfortable home to travel the world as a missionary and healer. 

34. What does your character admire and dislike the most about the player character sitting to your left?

(Rolling 1d3 between 1. Amalli, 2. Mawari, 3. Niyooshan)

NIYOOSHAN: He admires the alchemist’s resourcefulness, calm and analytical mind, general intelligence and skills in what he does. 

He dislikes his cold rationality and ability to make brutal decisions without hesitation... but what he dislikes more is his own feeling of envy for such a quality. (See also #67.)

35. Why is your character’s lowest stat their lowest (the in-character reason, not “because there’s no reason for a wizard to have 16 strength, duh”)?

Strength and dexterity (I know). He grew up poor and missed out on some bulking up as a child. He’s hardy though.

36. What would be your character’s theme song/favourite band/favourite genre of music?

Folk music with lots of wind instruments.

37. What stereotypical role would your character play in a high school AU/if they attended a normal high school? (Nerd, jock, bully, goth, etc.)

Looks like a jock, acts like a nerd. Probably would get bullied if not for protective friends.

38. What treasure/item/artifact that your character has collected during the adventure is the most important to them?

His standard issue shield given by the Church (with which he shares a Divine Bond, and he has had various upgrades attached to it), letters from friends and those he considers family, a feather from the Vermillion Bird.

39. Is there any particular weapon, item, etc. that your character longs to find?

Right now, as the campaign demands - the Chronicles of the Righteous. Otherwise he’d love to come across any of Sarenrae’s divine artifacts.

40. Where does your character feel the most at home?

BACKSTORY: the Sarenite church grounds in Absalom, where he grew up.

IN-GAME: Falcon’s Hollow, despite its cursedness, where he met people he grew to trust with his life.

41. Does your character care about how they’re perceived by others? How do they change themselves to fit in with other people?

He cares how his loved ones see him insofar as he wants them to trust him, but he doesn’t compromise easily on the kind of person his principles make him.

42. What does your character think is the true meaning of life?

To find something worth loving in everything and everyone.

43. What is your character’s scent? (Bonus points for a description that sounds like it could be from a bad [or awesome] fanfic.)

Sun-burnt vegetation and a faint but unmistakable hint of metal.

44. Does your character think more with their heart or their brain?

Heart.

45. What is your character’s most recent or frequent nightmare?

His most frequent nightmares all involve fire - a child being incinerated, a pile of bodies being cremated, a gigantic flaming wheel in the sky overlooking chaos befalling a city.

46. What opinion does your character have on [CERTAIN ESTABLISHED GROUPS/AUTHORITIES IN THE GAME WORLD]? (Dragon-marked Houses, royal crown, etc.)

CHURCH OF SARENRAE IN ABSALOM: It was his home once; not anymore. Maybe it can’t ever be home again now that he’s seen how deep the corruption runs.

EAGLE KNIGHTS: They mean well, but they have a ruthless murderer in their own ranks and after all these years they haven’t sorted that out. Helpful to a point, at least. 

HELL KNIGHTS OF THE SCOURGE: They’re more reasonable and likeable than he’d expected, and he’s not sure how to feel about that.

PATHFINDER SOCIETY: Crazy resourceful, shamelessly shifty.

JADE REGENT: Shit.

47. How did your character spend their childhood? Where did they grow up/who were their childhood friends?

He lived in poverty in a backwater town (Railford) in southern Taldor until the age of 8, when he was brought to the Church of Sarenrae in Absalom. His years there as an apprentice were the happiest, most peaceful of his life - he had his mentor and her companion as pseudo-parents, and made some close friends when he was training to be a paladin.

48. What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?)

Whether or not he can redeem Shasriel. See also #52.

49. What colours are associated with your character?

Green, yellow, brown.

50. Who in the party would your character prioritise rescuing, in dire circumstances?

Among his current party of Amalli, Niyooshan, and Mawari, he’d prioritise Amalli because she’s been with him the longest and he knows her best out of the three.

51. Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos?

Pathos.

52. If your character was granted a single use of Wish, what would they use it for?

He’s wary of the repercussions and unforeseen consequences of such a powerful spell, so he’ll restrict it to wishing that the wraith feeding off of his soul be saved from undeath and her uncorrupted nature restored. See also #48.

53. What is your character’s favourite spell? If they don’t use spells: what is their favourite personal weapon/combat manoeuvre/skill/etc.?

Lay on Hands, with mercies and feats.

54. How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

He doesn’t like it but he does it with people he’s not close to, out of fearing judgement. With close people he only keeps secrets if he himself doesn’t want to confront those things, which actually happens quite often.

55. What type of creature in the world is your character the most intrigued by?

Benevolent creatures that should be evil by nature - devils and undead for example.

56. When they were a child, what did your character want to be, or think they were going to be, when they grew up?

Before he went into paladin-specific training, he wanted to be a missionary cleric - just like his mentor. 

57. The player character to your left admits that they’re passionately in love with your character. How would your character respond?

(Rolling 1d3 between 1. Amalli, 2. Mawari, 3. Niyooshan)

MAWARI: He’d think she’s ill, making a bad joke, or trying to curse him.

58. If somebody (an NPC, someone from their backstory, etc.) your character trusts/loves asked your character to do something against the party’s best interest, who would they side with?

It would depend of course, but at this point he doesn’t really trust his current party, so he would probably side with his loved one.

59. Does your character value their own best interest more than the party’s?

Definitely not, to a fault sometimes.

60. What decision would the party have to make in order for your character to consider splitting off from the group?

Something unequivocally cruel and undeniably evil.

61. How does your character imagine the way they will die?

In battle, protecting others with all that he can give.

62. What is your character’s greatest achievement?

Aside from the battle described in #15, being vindicated by his goddess at the exact moment he defied an order from his religious superiors.

63. Is your character willing to risk the well-being of others in order to achieve their goal?

Not at all, unless his goal also happens to be the greater good.

64. What is your character’s opinion on killing others?

He understands the necessity of killing in the kind of life he’s chosen to live, but he tries his best to avoid killing innocents, and even those who are guilty - so long as he thinks they have a chance to be redeemed.

65. What is your character’s favourite food? Beverage?

He doesn’t have single favourite, but he likes homey, hearty meals. Potatoes make him think of Kebarong, one of his closest companions. As of late he seems to have suddenly developed a constant craving for almonds. 

66. How generous is your character? Especially to those they don’t know?

Very. He’d fall for any sob story; even if he knows he’s been cheated he wouldn’t change his ways, because his generosity being abused is not his problem, but the abuser’s.

67. What is your character the most envious about, regarding anyone in the party?

As addressed in #34, he’s envious about Niyooshan’s ability to make cruel but rational and/or necessary decisions. He is also sometimes envious of Amalli’s blissful ignorance of some realities of the world, but other times he feels sorry for her.

68. The player character to your left and the player character to your right are both telling your character two different versions of the truth. Who does your character believe?

(Rolling 2d3 between 1. Amalli, 2. Mawari, 3. Niyooshan) 

MAWARI & AMALLI: This is a toughie. On the one hand he trusts Amalli more than Mawari, since he’s known the former for a while and became acquainted with the latter only recently; on the other hand Amalli has a way of viewing and interpreting reality that he really doesn’t understand sometimes. Ultimately he’d take Amalli’s word for it if he has to.

69. What is your character’s sexuality/relationship with sex?

He’s aromantic and asexual, although he does enjoy intimacy with friends (i.e. he’s quite touchy-feely). if someone were to pursue him romantically/sexually and he already likes them a lot, he’d do what they request if he thinks that it improves their bond. 

70. What is your character’s biggest pet peeve?

People using doublespeak, especially if it’s for politics.

71. Describe how your character feels about the party’s current situation/objective/etc.

It’s a big job and he can’t even fathom how they’ll get there, but it has to be done and it seems like he and his companions are the ones who need to do it, so he’ll just have to take things one step at a time. 

72. Who in the party would your character trust the most to keep an important secret?

Niyooshan - he trusts the man to exercise discretion. Amalli means well but tends to run her mouth.

73. If your character knew that they were going to die in a month, how would they spend the rest of their life?

Write heartfelt letters to his friends and family, write strongly-worded letters to his Church and the authorities-that-be, and do his best to further his and his allies’ mission.

74. What makes your character feel safe?

A nice home-cooked meal, a warm fire, knowing people he trusts and loves are close by. 

75. If your character had the chance to rename the party/give the party a name, no questions asked, what would it be?

“Not-Rebels”. Because they’re totally not rebels with massive bounties on their heads. 

76. What memory does your character want to forget the most?

Technically he’s already forgotten it - the process by which his soul was bound to an ancient Azlanti wraith was traumatic enough that his memory of it is now repressed. 

For his intact memories, he’d very much like to forget about the time he watched a child be incinerated in an instant, or the time he’s had to mercy-kill a group of innocents who’d been afflicted by the curse of undeath... or maybe he doesn’t because he thinks he needs to carry his “mistakes” with him.

77. If your character had to multiclass into a class they currently aren’t the next time they level up, what would it be and what reason would they have for doing so?

Fighter - so he can be more flexible with gear, be more effective at controlling the battle, and - most importantly - use tower shields. 

78. What television/book/video game/etc. character would your character be best friends with? (Or: what media character is your character the most influenced by/similar to?

Take all the usual Knight Templar tropes and subvert them.

Additionally, my GM compares him to Anders of the Dragon Age franchise. I created Amur way before I knew who Anders was, and some of the similarities are frankly uncanny. 

79. What unusual talents does your character possess?

High pain tolerance, and (is this a talent?) diminished self-preservation instincts.

80. How does your character feel about receiving/giving orders? Are they more of a leader, or a follower?

He’s much happier receiving orders than giving them, but he can’t help but question or even defy those he considers immoral. He wants to be a follower but is ultimately too headstrong and impulsive to be a good one.

81. What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?)

His name is one (of the few) ties he has with his birth family, but he’s fine if he has to use a different name temporarily for a good reason.

I named him after the Amur River. As a geomorphologist I sometimes name my OCs after landform features. All my original PCs and NPCs in this universe are named after real-world rivers.

82. Is your character more of an introvert, or an extrovert?

Introvert.

83. How far is your character willing to go to pursue the “greater good”? Do they believe in a greater good at all?

He believes in the greater good, he just doesn’t believe in having to sacrifice innocent individuals to pursue it.

84. What does your character want to be remembered by?

Kindness and compassion.

85. What would be your character’s major in college?

Humanities - more precisely, something along the lines of Anthropology or Cultural Studies.

86. Does your character consider themselves a hero, villain, or something else?

Something else - he sees himself as one who helps someone else become a hero, or turns someone away from villainy. 

87. What major arcana tarot card best represents your character?

Strength.

88. Where does your character see themselves in 20 years?

Dead. Still travelling around, with or without a name, finding trouble, and doing whatever needs to be done.

89. What is your character’s relationship with magic? Are they scared of it, wish to know more about it, indifferent to it?

To him, in general magic is just another ability or talent, as much as someone can be gifted physically, intellectually, or artistically. His own magic is granted by his deity, so he sees it as a blessing and not really belonging to him. 

90. Who is your character’s biggest rival?

He doesn’t consider anyone his rival, but he does have a nemesis of sorts by the name of Geminus Nero Rugatonn. The guy’s been hounding him and his friends since something like level 6.

91. What is your character’s guiltiest pleasure?

Playing with cats.

92. What does your character hope for the afterlife?

To have his soul intact and actually see Sarenrae in all her glory, and to meet those he thinks he’s failed and apologise to them.

93. Who in the party does your character trust the least?

At this point, Mawari - she’s only just joined them, is a witch with creepy curses and hexes, and is their ally only because their goals align with her being a traitor to the Jade Regent.

94. What is your character’s biggest flaw?

Impulsiveness, and being a bleeding heart who is way too forgiving.

95. How did your character learn the languages that they speak?

TALDANE: His first language, and the common tongue across most of the Inner Sea region.

TERRAN: Learned it as part of the curriculum in his apprentice days. Why he didn’t pick something less obscure is anyone’s guess. Maybe he just doesn’t want to use it much.

NECRIL: Started to learn this after being possessed (?) by a wraith.

TIAN: The common tongue in the continent of the current campaign, Tian Xia.

MINKAI: The local tongue in the country of the current campaign, Minkai.

SIGN LANGUAGE: Learned this after Niyooshan lost his speech. 

96. What is your character’s favourite school of magic/type of weaponry?

MAGIC: Healing (conjuration) and harm-negating spells (abjuration).

WEAPONRY: Do shields count?

97. What is most important to your character: health, wealth, or happiness?

Happiness.

98. What advice would your character give to a younger version of themselves?

“Don’t ignore the urging of your conscience; act on it. It’s better to regret what you’ve done than what you haven’t.”

99. Are there any social or political issues your character feels strongly about?

Any sort of persecution or discrimination that is based on some neutral and often unchangeable part of someone’s identity, e.g. being slaves, low-born, or of a particular race.

100. What, currently, is your character the most curious about?

What part he has to play and how he will end up by the end of this whole deal involving nations, religions, legacies, curses, spirits, gods, and Great Old Ones.

Seed of a Memory

Here is my piece for @arowrimo! This features D&D iterations of my novel characters, and there’s a lot more to both of these characters’ stories, but hopefully this serves as a nice introduction to them.

Title: Seed of a Memory

Language: English

Category: Short Story (Theme: Subverting Romantic Tropes, Fantasy)

Prompt: Friendship

Genre: Fantasy, Drama

Word count: 1907

Content warnings: Brief mentions of racism and arophobia.

Summary: Fiera Casales takes a stroll with her pretend boyfriend and ponders the importance of things like love and memory.

Cold. Distant. That’s what the others had always called her, in whispers that faded down the corridors, in offhand remarks that begged judgement be met with indifference. Ever since she had awoken surrounded by cold ruins, vague images and feelings telling her that whoever she had been, she had been unwanted, and decided to become an anthropologist. They admired her skill in spell casting and dedication to her cause, but questioned her work, and refrained from getting too close. They doubted a high elf lacking the famed fair complexion could advance at such a rate without deception. They thought it undignified to spend so much time studying the cultures of ‘lesser’ species.

But it was well enough that they did not want to spend time with her. She did not very much want to spend time with them either. They were narrow minded and could tell her nothing of her missing past. They gossiped about her ‘lack of love’ despite their own callous indifference towards her.  It was enough to simply know how they thought, and how to best maneuver them to make her life easier.

It was also, she had to admit, more convenient for her current study that she not have much to lose in regards to relationships, as she was currently committing an unwritten social taboo simply to see what changes it might or might not have in the long run: she was ‘dating’ a drow elf.

The bitter, hated enemy of her people, so often described as ruthless killers and amoral abominations, as nature’s greatest mistake. She had often wondered if the drow were half as vile as the stories told, but after having met one it seemed more likely the hatred came from an old grudge allowed to fester, the separation of their countries making outlandish exaggerations difficult to disprove. A high elf being a partner to a drow elf was unheard of, and she had just enough status to see the effects of such a scandal.

The drow elf in question, who now lead her down a street gently by the arm, was a fellow by the name of Kadri. They had met quite by chance at a library, when she was knocked down a staircase and nearly took him down with her. Things were sorted out, and she had immediately wanted to interview him despite her own nervousness once realizing what he was. It took some persuasion, and the promise to make the interview a two-way one (she felt she was enormously fortunate that the first person from her sworn enemy’s country was a scholar such as herself), but she got to spend the day conversing with him. Despite the clear distrust he held towards her and his barely concealed agitation, it proved to be one of the more amiable and fascinating conversations she’d ever had. He answered questions thoroughly and with a frank wryness, and asked thoughtful questions in return.

During the next two weeks they met up every day to talk more, and typically ended up conversing for hours on end. They were both frank with their prejudices, though she felt them growing more at ease as time went on. She learned Kadri was a warlock, sworn to serve the demon Kir’giren after they saved his life when he was a child, and was disappointed but unsurprised to learn he had suffered several times at the hands of her people. She told him about her fractured memories, and of her time spent with the sea elves.

By the time Kadri had to depart to serve his master on some quest, she was surprised to find that she was missing his company. She didn’t tend to miss people, if anything she felt more at ease when she alone in her house. Usually the only feelings of longing she felt were in connection to her mangled memories, the faces she could recall but not quite put into context. She definitely couldn’t call the feeling she had love, if she had to guess she probably missed the intellectual challenge of working with someone so different and so on edge.

Regardless of the cause, she determined that if ever they crossed paths again, they would speak at length. That was when she realized that he would actually be perfect for an experiment that she had had in mind for some time, if he could be persuaded. Suffice to say, they did cross paths again, she did manage to persuade him to fake being her partner for up to six months, and they had now been living together and pretending to date for a little over a month. And the initial reaction of her people was horrified confusion as she and Kadri had expected, but over the weeks, opinions started to become more varied. Some applauded their bravery, others thought Kadri had cruelly put her under an enchantment, and some thought this was the final proof that she was a willful traitor and could never be trusted.

Just walking down the street as they were now, people were glancing and glaring at them, some people hurried to get out of their presence, others stared and whispered to their neighbors. They were walking through the city square, browsing some shops before looking for a place to eat.

“Are your thoughts happy, Fiera?” Kadri asked, snapping her out of her reverie.

“Huh? Oh, I was just reminiscing a bit. So perhaps bittersweet is a better descriptor. Why, did I look happy?” she asked.

“You looked contemplative. Are your contemplations ones you’d wish to share?” he said. Fiera turned to look at him properly. Even now he insisted on keeping his hood up in public, and his eyes were watchful, but underneath the wariness he did seem genuinely curious.

“I suppose…if I may ask, what do you think of love? I promise it’s relevant,” she said. Kadri seemed only slightly taken aback by the question; one of the first things she had told him before agreeing to the experiment was that she would never love him, and if he fell in love with her then that was his own problem to deal with alone, so he already knew the subject was one she had given thought to. He gave the question a moment of thought before answering.

“If anything, I think it is something I understand very poorly. I claim only to love Kir’giren, but that is truthfully a wild oversimplification. I know it drives others in equal parts to great acts of generosity and great acts of cruelty. I know there is very little agreement, between individuals or between groups, what exactly ‘true’ love is, and yet they at the same time take for granted that people will recognize it with ease and react accordingly. I have read enough to have some idea what most people see as loving actions, and to know that it is associated with attachment. But that is where my knowledge ends, I’m afraid.”  He said.

“Then you don’t know much more than myself,” Fiera sighed. “I was wondering about the nature of feelings, and the nature of relationships, and how they relate to memory. You have all your memories intact, and have, I believe, had crushes before, so I hoped you might be able to offer some insight. You don’t suppose emotions can be born of memories, do you?” Kadri looked quizzical.

“Crushes? I would hardly relate those to love…ah, but to answer your question, not exactly. I think it more accurate to say emotions are associated with memories. We do feel things in the present, after all.” He said.

“True…then I ask you instead, are there any memories you would forget if you could? Would you still be you if you had different memories?” she said. She knew she was prying at what was both purely a hypothetical and quite possibly personal, but the possibility of losing more memories, or of not being who she used to be, were ones she considered often. If she asked too personal a question Kadri would just tell her that.

“Hmm… I believe it may be more truthful to say there are many things I wish had never happened to me in the first place. But they did happen, so I would not let go of them.” He said. Then he chuckled to himself. “But then, I am an incredibly miserable person often stuck in the past. Surely, if I had different memories, the essence of me would be the same, but I would see the world in a different light.” Fiera thought about that. Without her old memories, she had been forced to grow new ones, and she wasn’t discontent with them…

“That is fair. I suppose I just wonder if my old memories have truly withered away or not. It can feel strange to be ‘moving on’ when that is not certain.” She said.

“Well, I suppose it would be hypocritical of me to in any way judge…” Then his expression grew slightly softer. “Truly, Fiera, you are not lacking in any respect. You are exceptionally driven and kind, and brilliant beyond compare. I do not doubt you will find joy and peace in your own way, no matter the circumstances of your memories or your relationship with that nebulous thing called ‘love’.”  Fiera smiled at that. Kadri would sometimes just say stuff like that, about her or about some of his old travel companions, and yet still denied having friends or attachments in this world outside of his master. Though she did sometimes wonder if he simply idolized anyone who wasn’t cruel to him. Either way, it was an appreciated statement even if she yearned to be able to confirm its truth in a more concrete way.

“You are kind to say so. I have a similar faith in you.” She said, and she did believe it. Kadri gave a laugh, and the thinly veiled pain in his eyes made it clear that he didn’t.

“Truly, you are too generous. Ah, but here we are, I don’t think I’ve been to this place before. Can you tell me of it?” he said. Fiera silently noted the quick change of subject, and then went on to tell him whatever she could of the little restaurant they had come upon.

She had always been called ‘cold’ and ‘distant’. And even now, she knew she was not in love. But she didn’t feel cold, or distant, when she was chasing her memories or spending time with Kadri. She wasn’t sure why he seemed to be an exception, perhaps it was simply because he had no expectations of her other than to fulfill her side of their agreements without mocking or betraying him, which was easy enough to do since he always did the same on his end. No, the feeling wasn’t love, but it was a warm kind of feeling. She wondered if they were friends, or only amiable business partners, or if it really made a difference. Certainly, if she called him her friend to his face, he’d probably find some excuse to go away and never return. But privately, she would like to think of him as a friend. She didn’t know what her past would reveal, about herself or about those she must have known, but there was always the present, and a dream for the future.

Perhaps the memory of joy and peace could still be grown in some other way.  

fic: Lover (1/3)

Sixteen years he’s gone without a lover, and it hasn’t really bothered him all that much. Now that he and Essek have started fooling around, however, he finds it difficult to go on for too long without touching him. A story about intimacy, trust, and the process it takes to care about someone again. Shadowgast. AO3 Link

A/N: This story was brought to you by Taylor Swift’s Lover on repeat for three days straight. It was also inspired by the fact that a lot of Shadowgast fic is mostly about them boning, and while their sexual tension is in fact breath-taking, some folks need time before taking that step, and I wanted to see what that looked like in fiction with these two idiots.

But then, of course, the plot fucking grew, as plots are likely to do, and so we have this rather large fic of mine. There are three chapters (maybe four--chapter three is *long*) but it’s all already complete: it just needs editing. My goal is to have all of it up by Thursday so it can be immediately jossed, but I make no promises.

Comments are incredibly encouraging.

Sixteen years.

Sixteen years, seven months, twenty-three days, to be more exact. Sometimes his eidetic memory was more of a curse than a gift. That’s how long it had been since he last saw Astrid, had last kissed her, had last been with another person, physically.

And he had been fine. Really. Sure, there had been lonely nights here and there, days when he longed to have companionship of a different sort, not better or worse, more physical than Nott’s constant friendship, Caduecus’s quiet company, Fjord’s charm, Jester’s warmth and laughter, and Beau’s cunning wit.

He had a right hand and a perfect memory: he could make due alone, to take care of any physical need he might have. He might’ve missed the afterglow, the intimacy of having someone close by afterwards to hold on to, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t live without. He was adaptable. Besides, he highly doubted he would ever have another lover again, anyway, given everything that had happened in his life.

Who could ever want someone like him?

Except he was wrong, of course, because the past three times he’d seen Essek Thelyss in the past two weeks, they’d ended up exactly like this: pressed up against one another, trading hot kisses, exploratory hands caressing against cloth and skin.

He wasn’t even sure how it had even started: they had been studying together, talking quietly about-- something. It had been important, he was sure, but then they were kissing , like kissing-kissing, like Caleb-on-the-floor-with-Essek-on-top-of-him kissing. Caleb hadn’t wanted to stop, but eventually Essek pulled off of him with a sheepish smile and a dark purple flush on his face, and said he’d have to see him again soon, and left.

And Caleb could have came right then, harder than he’d been in years and left wanting on the library floor in the Xhorhaus, but he pulled himself up and managed to make it to his bedroom, where he spent the evening thinking of little else besides the dark purple color of Essek’s face and the way his body had felt pressed against his own.

He slept well that night. Better than he had in a long time, deeply and fully, to the point that Nott had to wake him the next morning when his internal clock failed him.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had wanted so much. Being with Essek was like turning his brain off in the best way possible--better than polymorph, even, because all he could think about was tongue and mouth and lips and skin.

The next time they met had been at an official affair, a meeting with the Bright Queen with Essek in attendance, cool and formal and every bit the perfectly poised professional. He would have thought he might’ve just imagined their earlier entanglement entirely, if Essek hadn’t grabbed him after the meeting and shoved him into a nearby coat closet.

He then proceeded to have a rather excellent ten minutes, and would have gladly spent even more time with him, trading lips and tongue and touch, if Beau hadn’t come looking for him, forcing him to quickly try and detangle Essek’s mantle from where it had gotten hooked into Caleb’s mythril shirt.

He had insisted on a private bath in the hot tub that night, away from the others, with the door locked tight.

Their latest encounter was a more formal occasion. An invitation, sent via a rather beautiful raven, inviting him to an unknown location that must have been Essek’s home, in order to “continue the discussion they had before.”

He didn’t quite know what that meant; they hadn’t discussed anything the last few times they’d been together, unless you counted the way they immediately gravitated towards one another, their magnetism more powerful than any spell Caleb knew.

They hadn’t had sex yet. They had, however, made out furiously, every time they’d been alone in a room together.

Which meant that when Essek invited him over, Caleb showered, shaved, bought another new coat, and very seriously considered asking his companions for advice before deciding against it.

Gods, but he wanted him badly. He’d masturbated more this past week than he had in the past decade, or so it felt like.

He had barely made it into Essek’s house before he found himself draped across Essek’s lap, the drow either unaware of or uncaring about the weight of Caleb’s bony ass pressed against his thighs. Essek had one hand snaked around Caleb’s waist while the other had a deathgrip on his thigh, squeezing and massaging and trending ever higher up Caleb’s body. Caleb, for his part, was busy concerning himself with Essek’s neck, and how sensitive his ears were, and what lovely little noises he was making, and wondering just how dark a color he could make his skin go if he kept biting his neck, and--

He felt the cold of the alarm spell wave over him before he heard it. He groaned, loudly, and his only consolation was the fact that Essek groaned, too, before pulling away from him.

“No,” he moaned, trying to pull Essek closer to him, even as the drow protested despite Caleb’s mouth on his chin. It had only been--

An hour? Really? It hadn’t felt like it.

“Sorry,” Essek apologized, pressing several fast kisses against Caleb’s face. “I thought we’d have more time before I was summoned to the Council.”

“When will I see you again?”

“I don’t know. I’ll come by this evening, if I can get away.”

He hadn’t come back that evening. Or the evening after that. The day after that, Caleb was the busy one, stuck out in the Xhorassian wilderness trying to find some Cobalt Soul artifact for Dairon and Beau that had been abandoned centuries ago.

Which was fine, really. He didn’t mind helping Beau--gods know she had done enough for him and the rest of the group so far.

What he did mind was the cold, and the lack of privacy in the dome, and the Storm Giants, and the fact that he could not get Essek out of his mind, and he was pretty sure if he didn’t have sex with that man soon he might actually physically die.

Which was stupid. He’d gone sixteen years without sex before. He could do it again. Despite all evidence to the contrary, he wasn’t a hormone-induced teenager. He could, in fact, wait. Patience was a virtue, or so they said.

...The fact that he convinced the group to return to Rosohna for a few days of rest before heading to Traveler-Con was something of a victory, however. Convincing Jester to cast Sending on Essek to find out if he was available that evening was even moreso. And by the blessing of some god Caleb didn’t really believe in, Essek was both available and had extended an invitation for Caleb to come over as soon as he got back.

Jester teased him horribly about it the whole evening, but it was fine. He’d endure whatever sort of teasing he’d get from Jester if it meant he got to see Essek again.

A quick shave and a change of clothes later, he made his way to Essek’s home, where he was invited in, led to the study, and then promptly had the door shut in his face.

“Wha--Essek?” He tried the door handle, but it was locked. A sense of panic began swelling in his stomach. Was this a trap? A trick of some sort? What if this was all a plot by Ikithon to get him to lower his guard and--

“I’m sorry!” The drow’s voice was muffled through the door, but it was still Essek’s voice. There was no mistaking his accent. “I just--I keep meaning to talk to you, but every time we’re in the same room together we end up kissing instead of talking, and it’s important that I talk to you. So...A door between us. So that we might converse.”

Caleb couldn’t help but laugh, the anxiety in his stomach lifting as he leaned against the door frame. “A bit of an overreaction, don’t you think? We’re both adults. We can--we can handle a conversation without kissing.”

“Oh, really?” Essek’s voice was smug to the point of pretentiousness. “So if I were to open this door right now, you wouldn’t kiss me senseless, despite not seeing each other for a week? How disappointing.”

There was a small click, and Caleb knew Essek had unlocked the door, but hadn’t opened it, instead leaving the hypothetical ball in Caleb’s hypothetical court.

A delicate situation: if he opened the door, he would inevitably want to kiss Essek senseless, thus proving him right for locking the door in the first place. On the other hand, not opening the door also proved him right, about neither of them having the strength to resist one another physically.

Clever man.

With a defeated sigh, Caleb turned around so that his back was leaning against the doorframe before he slid down it, so that he sat leaned against the door on the carpeted ground. “You may have a point,” he confessed, his head leaned against the door, his knees tucked under his arms. “You might’ve written a letter.” He offered, wishing that they had talked about whatever Essek wanted to speak about earlier, and not wasted the little time they had together by talking. Especially since talking verbally meant Caleb would have ample opportunities to put his foot in his mouth and ruin everything.

“I considered it,” Essek said. “But I wanted to hear what you had to say.”

That was intriguing. “What is it that you wanted to talk about?”

He could hear the hesitation in Essek’s voice as he took the time to carefully consider his words. “What--what are we, Caleb Widogast? Are we dating? Are we--are we just kissing for fun? Are you interested in me? Are you--Luxon above, are you courting me? I tried to do some research on Imperial courting practices but I didn’t get very far. Information about the Empire is...scarce, even for me.”

A fair question. One that Caleb might’ve thought to ask himself, if he had managed to think about anything beyond his libido for the past week.  “I--I don’t know what we are,” Caleb confessed, running a hand through his auburn hair, a few loose curls coming out of his hair tie. “We never talked about it. What--what do you want to be?”

A small chuckle. “I believe I asked you first, Widogast.”

He considered being pedantic and pointing out that Essek merely asked for clarification, not a specific desire, but after thinking about it, he realized he did eventually want to kiss him again, and arguing about something ridiculous like this wasn’t likely to lead to that situation. “I suppose I want whatever you want,” Caleb confessed, feeling small pressed against the dark wood of Essek’s home. “I--I enjoy spending time with you, Essek. If you wish to have a--a relationship, I’m open to the idea. If you just want to kiss again without changing things between us, I’m okay with that. And if you want to stop--whatever this is, between us, I--would respect your decision.”

He would hate it, but he would accept it, if that’s what Essek wanted.

(Gods, he hoped that wasn’t what Essek wanted!)

“Hmph. A diplomatic answer.”

“What do you want, Essek?” Caleb turned the question back on him, a little frustrated that his own answer wasn’t apparently good enough. “Do you want a relationship? Do you just want a--a friend with benefits? What do you want?”

“I want,” the dark elf sighed dramatically. “I don’t want a--what did you call it? A friend with benefits? I can serve my own needs, thank you.  If--if that’s all you are interested in, then I don’t see this working out, I’m sorry. And I think I’m too young to be courted seriously, especially by someone so--so different from me. At least right now,” Essek breathed in deeply, and while Caleb couldn’t see him, he could imagine that Essek was just a bit flustered as he spoke. “And I don’t want to stop kissing you, because despite all common sense and evidence to the contrary, I do rather like you, Widogast.”

“I can’t imagine why.” He said, in a dry tone of voice that could be taken as either a joke or seriously, depending. He meant it as a joke, but now that he said it, he was curious what Essek had to say in response.

“Is it so ridiculous to think that someone might like you, Caleb?” Essek questioned; Caleb didn’t have a response, feeling small and ridiculous. It took Essek a moment to continue. “I--you make me laugh, Caleb. And you treat me like a person, not just someone in a position of authority. And you’re so smart. I could talk to you about magic all the time and never get bored,” There was a slight pause as it sounded like Essek was readjusting himself. “And I suppose I find you very handsome as well.”

Caleb smiled warmly, a rush of butterflies filling his chest in a way it hadn’t since he was a teenager. “I like you too, Essek,” he confessed, surprising himself with his own honesty. He did like Essek: it wasn’t a lie or a ploy or a manipulation: just a genuine fact. The fact that they had kissed the last few times they had been together was just a bonus that came on top of a general appreciation for Essek’s company. “You’re charming and smart,” he toyed with the amulet he always kept around his neck, the one that kept him safe from scrying. “You’re always kind, to--to me, and to the rest of the Nein. That means so much to me. Most people in my life and in my past haven’t been very kind. And you are,” he breathed in deeply. “Incredibly attractive. I can’t even believe you would like someone like me.”

“What’s not to like?”

“I’m human? From the Empire? And there are so many more attractive men out there. Like, look at Fjord, he’s--”

“Not you.” Essek assured him, his voice soft and kind but solid, impossible to argue with. “And I like you , Caleb Widogast.”

He felt himself blush in the empty room. “I--I like you too, Essek.”

“Sounds like we like each other,” Essek teased through the door, causing Caleb to let loose a chuckle, the nervous swell in his stomach releasing. “I suppose we should date one another, then.”

“I suppose so,” Caleb agreed, moving his head off of the door, turning instead so that he was facing the door handle. He wanted to kiss him again. “Can we open the door now?”

“Just--one more thing. Two more things, actually.” Essek breathed deeply. “I don’t think I’ll get in trouble with the Dynasty for dating you, but I also don’t want to risk endangering my job. Does--will it bother you if we keep things subtle, while we’re in public?”

Caleb shook his head, then remembered that Essek couldn’t see him. “That’s fine. I can keep a secret. Can we tell my companions, or would you prefer to keep them in the dark?”

“I don’t mind if they know. It might be fun to keep them guessing, though. I’ll leave that decision up to you to tell them if you’d like.” Essek breathed in deeply, and Caleb could tell that he was about to ask something he was nervous about. “The second thing: I don’t want to have sex.”

That caused Caleb to pause. “...Like, ever?”

“No. Well, um, not for a while, I guess,” Essek laughed hesitantly, a fake sort of laugh that came mostly from nervousness. “It’s just the last two relationships I had, they both went--went too fast, and I ended up getting really hurt, emotionally, and I just--I want to take it slower, with you. Because I really, really like you, and if I end up fucking things up with you I’ll probably still have to work with you, because I’m the Nein’s liaison, and I don’t want to ruin things like I have in the past. And if that’s a deal breaker for you--”

“It’s not,” Caleb assured him, surprising himself with his own honesty. For all that he had touched himself since he and Essek had started-- this --he found he didn’t mind the thought of waiting, if that’s what his partner wanted. “We can take things as slowly as we need to. It’s--” he paused, playing with his necklace again. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone, romantically or sexually. Taking things slow is probably a smart idea for both of us.”

“It’s been a while for me, too,” Essek confessed. “And please, don’t think that it’s not that I don’t want you, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s just, I want to do things right , with you.”

“Me too,” Caleb confessed. “Can I kiss you now?”

“ Yes ,” Essek laughed, opening the door behind Caleb. He was hovering at full height while Caleb sat on the floor, but he wasted no time lowering himself into Caleb’s lap, kissing him deeply but quickly. “Then you can take me to dinner, khalir. ”

--

They did make it to dinner eventually, though a bit later that they meant to. Kissing had taken longer than they meant it to, and when they had pried themselves off of one another it had taken a bit to straighten themselves out. They decided to disguise themselves while going out, and that had been its own moment of silliness as they discussed the pros and cons of various disguises. Essek had turned himself into another drow, a less attractive version of himself with longer hair, while Caleb adopted his blue tiefling disguise, looking very much like himself, if he had been born Jester’s twin.

They talked freely when they were out, holding each other’s hands and talking, getting to know one another in ways they hadn’t previously. He learned that Essek was the youngest of four siblings, and the only one of them that wasn’t a consecrated soul at birth. He learned that Essek wasn’t born into Den Thelyss, but had been adopted into it after they realized he had a talent for magic. Essek, likewise, learned that the last time Caleb had dated someone had been sixteen years ago; that Caleb liked the rice they’d had with dinner but greatly preferred bread, and that he’d only traveled with the Mighty Nein for less than a year, now, but that he considered them his family.

When Essek walked him home after dinner, they kissed on the front porch for twenty minutes, until Darion came out and shooed Essek away, like a parent might to a teenager who had stayed out past curfew.

The two days they were in Rosohna before Traveler-con, Caleb spent as much time as possible with Essek, which wasn’t nearly as much time as Caleb would like, because Essek still unfortunately had to work. But they had dinner together each night, and kissed for several hours afterwards, and talked almost as much as they kissed, and Caleb found he enjoyed both activities equally well.

Before the Nein left for the island, Essek had given him a gift. A notebook, blue leather bound, but sparked with the scent of the arcane. “It’s a messenger book,” Essek explained over Caleb’s puzzled look. “You write something in your copy, and it’ll appear in my copy,” he lifted his own book, a twin to the journal Caleb had. “It’s a way for us to keep in contact without using spell-slots.”

Like Jester’s sending spell, but written down, and something he could keep private, without the rest of the group nosing their way into his business. “I love it,” Caleb said, and then kissed his boyfriend, because he could. “I’ll write in it every night.”

“I hope you do. I want to hear about all of your adventures,” Essek kissed him back swiftly, before pulling away. “Am I teleporting you guys to this...island, right?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Oh, I mind. But,” he squeezed Caleb’s hand, letting their hands swing together between them. “I suppose I mind less now than I did previously.”

this is me asking about your campaign

Anon, I am so fucking glad that you asked. Alight kiddies strap yourselves in and get ready to hear the story of Fortune’s Favor cause this is the hyper-fixation to end all hyper-fixations for me right now. (BTW, all art for the party members was done by @Tallinier on Twitter! She’s amazing and you all should go check her out right now!). Anyways:

See that? That’s Ar’De. The main continent that our D&D campaign takes place on. You might have noticed that huge white sprawl right in the middle there. That’s called The Conflict Zone. That also happens to be the name of our campaign itself, The Conflict Zone.

The Conflict Zone is an area of the continent that has existed since the dawn of recorded history. It has always contained things that do not make sense and is home to creatures not of the material plane. The topography of it is constantly shifting, changing, re-arranging. It is impossible to map out. Portals to thousands of other realms are constantly opening and closing within its borders, and creatures from these other realms have recently begun to take notice of these portals in larger numbers. The Orcs, Humans, Elves, and Dwarves have all made a pact to do their best to contain this threat on their shared borders, but something is happening... While the shared governments are trying to keep it under wraps, The Conflict Zone is expanding. More and more things are coming through those portals, and those who live closest to it have been facing grave dangers and strange occurrences more and more lately.

However, our story doesn’t begin with The Conflict Zone. It actually begins with a man. A man known only as Gaust. 20 years before the events of this campaign, a powerful man known as Gaust led a violent uprising centered in the human country of Empiria that killed many people. Gaust himself supposedly had powers that were evil and astounding. On top of his own abilities, he had the power to give other people arcane abilities. It was said that his mere presence was enough to make those around him just as bad as he was. However, nobody really knows for sure, as nobody ever claimed to have truly met the man in person. That is, until the current king of Empiria, Ryborn Hauzer -

(That guy) - slayed Gaust himself, and put an end to his 5 year reign of terror. Things were pretty okay for 20 years after that, and that’s where our heroes meet each other.

Why don’t we get to know our heroes? They’ve recently started to garner a reputation for themselves, and have decided to call their little group Fortune’s Favor (It’s a miracle none of us are dead yet, so we’ve gotta be somewhat lucky, right? Right?). They weren’t always a recognizable group of heroes though. In fact, they started out sleeping in the haymow of some guy’s barn, just outside the human capital of Union. With only a few coins to their name and a shared goal of joining the legendary Pathfinder’s Guild for various reasons, they decided to team up to try and earn some coin together, attempting to get past the nasty 500 GP application fee to even try out for the Pathfinders.

But enough about that, why don’t we finally talk about these lovable losers?

First up is Sarrali Farseer, a Tiefling Hunter Ranger 5 / Wild Magic Sorcerer 2:

Sarrali found herself designated as the leader of the group rather quickly which was really concerning for her (especially considering that she’s the youngest at the ripe age of 21!). She’s never seen herself as much of a people person. She grew up on the rugged streets of Vandis, Empiria’s military capital in the harsh North. With her human mother in mental institutions, her father completely unknown, and a childhood full of horribly unfortunate mishaps and distrust from others due to her Tiefling blood, Sarrali grew used to the idea that her father might actually have somehow been the god of shadow, twilight, misfortune, and chaos - Vayn. After deciding to ditch civilization entirely at the ripe age of 16 with only a pewter charm of a bird in flight left by her mother to her name, Sarrali fled South to the Northern forests of Empiria with no idea how to survive on her own. She was found and taken in by an old human bounty hunter, Mordecai Swift, who taught her everything he could before he met his untimely demise at the hands of some slaver pirates when Sarrali was 18. Out for vengeance, Sarrali made the unwise decision to try and take on an entire camp of slavers on her own after finding her master’s decapitated head not too far outside the camp. She managed to take down 7 of them all on her own before she was captured. She spent a horrific month in a Port Des’Sali warehouse run by the cruel leader of the slaver pirates, a wretched dragonborn named Bodac the Blue. Sarrali survived many horrible things, including torture and receiving a mysterious brand on her right shoulder blade before she and all of the other slaves were freed when a mysterious man entered the warehouse one day, the right half of his body glowing with red flames. He proceeded to torch the place, ripping Bodac’s head clear off his body, and burning right through the cages holding the slaves. Sarrali ran away from the others and spent the next 3 years working for a morally decent smuggling ring in Port Des’Sali, recovering and steeling herself for the future. She had heard that some people believed the gods themselves might reside within The Conflict Zone, and she finally wanted to confront Vayn. Unfortunately for her, the only ones allowed within The Conflict Zone were high ranking Pathfinder guild members and other decorated soldiers. So, she had no choice but to arm herself with her master’s hunting knife, her trusty bow, and head out to Union to achieve her goals. 6 months down the line and things are going arguably well for Sarrali. She’s got people who care about whether she gets out alive at the end of the day, she’s started learning some ritual magic (including how to cast Find Familiar). She returned to her supposed birthplace, a mountain town named Overlook, in search of her mother and discovered that she has an older sister, a tiefling named Brandia.

She also discovered that she was apparently human when she was born, as was her older sister. She learned that her father apparently wasn’t Vayn, but instead a human man known as Jaxon Farseer. Someone who’s family line is millenia old. Full of heroes, legendary dragon riders, and masterful archers. Her father disappeared shortly after her birth, and her mother apparently made a deal with a tall dark man who appeared in her dreams, allowing him to give her and her children his “blessing” to ensure that Jaxon would one day be rescued. Her mother accepted, and was immediately cast into madness as her daughters were changed in ways she couldn’t imagine. Odd, Sarrali’s been seeing a tall dark man in her dreams as well recently. In fact, he keeps telling her she’ll be the one to end the world someday, and he gifted her the use of Wild Magic... Hm.

Next up is Teael of house Arren, a Half-Elf Grassland Druid 5 / Hexblade Warlock 2:

Teael is the bastard daughter of Chancellor Arren, a noble High Elf who lives down river from the Spring of Len. Teael Is an incredibly caring person, though her childhood was very lonely. Her step mother was kind, teaching her druidic magic like any of her other children, but her step sister was cruel to her and her father was rather indifferent, refusing to tell Teael anything about her birth mother. Tired of spending her life being ignored and mistreated in what was essentially a gilded cage, Teael fled her father’s estate and headed North with something to prove. Through fate or misfortune, she ended up at the same barn as Sarrali and decided to stick close to the rugged tiefling girl who seemed to know her way around a weapon a little better than she herself did. 

6 months later and 24 year old Teael has sort of adopted Sarali as the little sister she never had. The two get along well and care for each other in ways they haven’t really had the chance to experience before. Teael finally has someone who will stand up for her, and Sarrali has someone who cares about how she’s really doing. Someone who wants to help her through the trauma she’s endured. Someone who cares. One of Teael’s main points of interest is that she somehow possesses the ability to summon 2 familiars at once. A grumpy large blue gecko named Nigel and a posh white Weasel named Eloise. On a rather.... improvised trip to the Shadowfell, Teael recovered the mangled body of a Drow servant who called her Lady Velodora (which also happens to be the name of the Goddess of Darkness, Death, Sleep, and the Moon... She’s also one of Vayn’s twin sisters!). After escaping the Shadowfell, Teael paid a good amount of money to have her new friend attended to by a revolutionary doctor and a high level cleric. The Drow has made a decent recovery, but is suffering from horrible amnesia. So, Teael gave him the name Vega. 

He later proved himself to be a rather accomplished wizard. He lives on a plot of land owned by Teael now, and he restored a broken down wizard tower there. His favorite pastimes include listening to Teael sing for him, reading, and studying new arcane affects. He isn’t the only friend Teael’s made recently though. On a mission into Orc territory, Teael recovered a strange black rod. After a dream that the party still doesn’t really know all the details of, Teael’s got a wicked looking new quarterstaff, and seems to have made some sort of deal with a woman (entity?) named Ebony. Before we set off on our latest adventure, Teael wrote to her father for the first time since leaving his estate to boast about how fine she’s doing on her own, and is eagerly waiting to hear back from him. She’s also a complete bi-sexual disaster, but the party loves her anyways. Oh, and one last thing. She also learned that if people found out who her mother was, she’d supposedly be killed on the spot. So that’s fun!

Third up is Rhak,  a Dragonborn Bear-Totem Barbarian 5 / Champion Fighter 2:

Teael and Sarrali met up with Rhak once they were already knee deep in a mission back in Union. They needed some extra muscle, and just happened to see a very stocky dragonborn writing something down in a book and petting a small kitten on their way into the sewers. His common wasn’t that good, but he seemed so happy that someone had offered him work without being mean that he decided to protect his new friends on the spot. He’s been with the group ever since. Rhak was the runt of his litter back in the Dragonborn territory of The Free Isles. Though he still exemplified the traits that the Platinum Dragon, Bahamut, tried to preach. Rhak had never really been one to turn to violence. He preferred to read and try talking through his issues with others. Unfortunately for him that meant that he was bullied mercilessly as a child. Though the kindness of a half elf woman named Lucia, a sorceress in the Free Isles seeking the wisdoms of the Platinum Dragon, inspired him to stick to his own ideals. One day, when he saw some bullies picking on a much younger runt, he accidentally let his anger get the better of him and ended up killing one of the bullies. Thus, he was exiled from his homeland at the age of 15. Forced to wander parts of the world that he was tragically unfamiliar with, places where he was seen as an oddity, and forced to live a cripplingly lonely life. Lucky for both him and us, we found each other though, and he’s finally got true friends that care deeply for him.

Though he had to leave his lovely kitten friend Steve at an orphanage in Union before we set out on a larger adventure, Rhak is going strong today. He has a bear spirit named Ursula that gives him the strength to protect his friends and keep pushing forward. After an untimely demise in the stomach of a Rhemorahz, Rahk was saved by a very close Revivify and brought back. Though, not before he got to have a nice chat with Bahamut himself. Bahamut explained to Rhak that he was Silver Prime, and that he needed to help usher in the era of The New King if the world was to be saved from calamity. We were already carrying a dragon egg with us (taken from a bunch of kobolds months ago in some old mine). But after breaking open an artifact from the Shadowfell, the egg was transformed. After reaching Sarrali’s hometown of Overlook, we learned that it was home to The Roost. The former breeding ground of Empiria’s human-allied dragons. However, The Roost had been destroyed years ago in Gaust’s uprising, and the only dragon left there now was a Silver Dragon named Orphyrah. She gave Rhak her blessing, explaining that she needed to sacrifice herself if he was supposed to reach his true potential as silver prime. She breathed all of her life essence into a single scale necklace, which Rhak now wears and can use to call upon her spirit in times of need. While at The Roost, we were able to hatch the new king of the dragons, a platinum hatchling named Justifax. Rhak has been tasked with protecting him and uniting the other primes, and he seems to be taking that duty very seriously. Only time will tell how Rhak’s destiny affects the fate of the world...

Last but certainly not least, we have Theren Greybend. A Human Knowledge Cleric 7:

Theren is the newest member of our group. We quite literally ran into him while fighting for our lives in the North recently, while on our way to Sarrali’s birthplace. Theren is a cleric of Magus, the God of Magic, Knowledge, and Secrets. The rest of the party doesn’t know too much about him yet, but we were in desperate need of a healer, and he got to witness the hatching of a new Dragon king with us, so he’s kind of stuck with us at the moment. Theren is a huge book nerd. He craves learning about any and all strange anomalies, and agreed to travel with the party on the pretense that we seem to run into stuff involving The Conflict Zone (his research specialty) a lot. We’ve basically become his latest research project, but that’s alright. He seems nice enough, and wants to help in any way that he can. Theren recently revealed that he possesses the odd ability to connect telepathically with a willing creature once a day, but who knows what else this guy can do? As far as we can tell, Theren is from one of the Western parts of Empiria, rather close to The Conflict Zone itself. 

Now finally, you might be wondering: Alright, but how did all that crazy stuff start?

Well, the intro arc was far too long to append on to this post, but let’s just say that in an unfortunate mix up involving Dynamite, Sewer Zombies, and a Burning Lighthouse. Our rag tag group was pinned as prime suspects, and then later were offered a deal by this shady motherfucker - 

Ekkard, the right hand man to the King of Empiria. If we could investigate those three issues for him on the down low, he wouldn’t just waive our Pathfinder application fee, he would ensure that we were accepted, and would become one of the King’s personally invested in teams. Of course, he didn’t give us much of a choice, since he told us we had a month to figure it out or face exile from Union as a cautionary action. 

So, on the job to clear our names and earn our stripes, we faced down more zombies, a flesh golem, an assassin, terrorist threats, bandits, exploding zombies, a re-kindled uprising of Gaust, and finally a huge bone serpent to save the city of Union and earn our freedom. 

Long story short - we succeed, and thus, Fortune’s Favor was born.

-I’m always down to talk about this campaign, so if anyone has any other questions, please don’t hesitate to send them.

@icarus-undying (Teael’s Player)

Thalra Hylune

Character Development Questionnaire 

BASICS -

1. Height? 5’2 2. Eye color? Lavender in dark lighting, lilac in bright light. She also doesn’t appear to have irises or pupils. Her eyes are just solid color. 3. Do they need glasses? No, though her eyes are slightly sensitive to sunlight. 4. Scars and birthmark?

She has an old, faded scar on her palm from childhood when she went exploring a dilapidated house on a dare. It looks like a small crescent moon and matches the one on her brother’s palm. Otherwise she’s been very careful to keep her skin unmarred. 

5. Tattoos and piercings?

No tattoos but she does have her ears pierced. The other piercings she has are… concealed most of the time. 

6. Right or left handed?

Ambidextrous, though she prefers her right hand. . 

7. Any disabilities? Physical or mental.

When she was younger her aversion to sunlight was much worse, but after so many years on the surface it doesn’t bother her anymore. Beyond that, she has undiagnosed PTSD that she herself doesn’t recognize. 

8. Do they have any allergies?

She does not. 

9. Favorite color?

Purple, especially the lighter shades. It brings out her eyes. 

10. Typical outfits?

While out in public she wears understated, but obviously well made dresses, low cut but not obscenely so, with boots that have a two inch heel to make her appear taller. Usually she also has a parasol with her to keep the sun out of her eyes. At home, she has a wide variety of silk robes and lingerie to lounge around in when a client is over, though when she has no company at all she doesn’t bother and has a very comfortable set of pajamas she can wear nearly all day if she has nothing to do. Occasionally she’ll also be seen in tight pants and loose, flowing shirts that expose a scandalous portion of her chest, only sometimes supported by a brassiere. 

11. Do they wear any makeup?

Sometimes, but only to enhance her features and never to obscure them. She likes bright eyeshadows and dark eyeliners and deep red lipsticks.  

12. What weapon do they use, if any?

She uses a hand crossbow when she’s not using a medley of instruments to channel her spells. Her fiddle is a new addition to her arsenal, relatively speaking. She only learned to play it after she met Pyrope but it’s quickly become her favorite. 

PERSONALITY -

13. Are they more optimistic or pessimistic?

She has trained herself to be pessimistic about all scenarios. She plans for the worst and never hopes for the best, no matter how much she might want to. 

14. Are they introverted or extroverted?

Completely extroverted, she thrives off attention. 

15. What are their pet peeves?

Arrogance. Men being condescending to her. 

16. What bad habits do they have?

In her building in Myrefall, on the third floor apartment that’s inaccessible except through a secret staircase, Thalra keeps a substantial stack of very tacky romance novels near her bed. All the spines are cracked and the pages dog-eared and it would be obvious on first glance they have all been read through dozens of times. 

17. Do they have any phobias?

She fears the day a particular cat will learn to communicate his desire for deadly poison to a potion shop clerk and use a very specific 170 gold pieces to acquire said poison. 

18. How do they display affection?

It depends on the type of affection the person she’s talking with wants to recieve. She learns what people want and then either gives it to them or withholds it. That’s the basics of manipulation. Genuine affection from her though is different and much less filtered. She’s not shy about paying the people she loves compliments or showering them with physical affection and gifts. Thalra becomes much less subtle and, oddly enough, she usually stops flirting.

19. How competitive are they?

Thalra can’t be suckered into a competition she knows she has no chance in, but if its something she’s good at, she gets incredibly competitive. Her self worth hinges on what she’s good at, so she’s very protective of those skills and doesn’t like the thought of being bested or considered lesser. 

20. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

Physically, nothing, but sometimes she does wish she could carve the piece of herself that cares so much for certain people out of her chest. It would make things easier, and she wouldn’t have so many vulnerabilities. 

21. Do they have any obscure hobbies or routines?

Sometimes, every few years or so, her mentor, Jelxi Silvershaper, aka the Silver Tongue of Myrefall, will run this very elaborate role playing game for some of her former and current employees. Everyone gets to make characters who get to go on adventures and fight monsters. Thalra gets really into it and she has several character sheets with pages of backstory. 

BACKSTORY -

22. What are the names and ages of their close family members? Parents, siblings, etc

Rinnil Hylune is her twin brother and is currently her only living relative who doesn’t live in the Underdark. They’re both 203 years old and Thalra thought him dead until very recently. Presumably, she has grandparents or cousins or other distant family, but she’s never met them. Her parents’ names were Jastira and Vaeril. 

23. Is their family alive and are they still in contact with them?

The only family Thalra is currently in contact with is Rinnil. Their parents died nearly two centuries ago after trying to escape the Underdark. 

24. Where are they from? City, nation?

She was born in the Underdark but only lived there until age twelve when her parents tried to flee due to religious persecution and their criticism of the government. She has lived in Myrefall for most of her life. 

25. Did they have a childhood best friend?

Just Rinnil. She was a very quiet and antisocial child and didn’t make much of an effort to make friends at the orphanage they were raised in. For a few years she was practically non-verbal if not speaking to her brother. 

26. Have they had any pets?

No. She doesn’t see a purpose in getting attached to an animal who will live for such a short fraction of her life. 

27. Did they grow up rich or poor? What were their living conditions like?

Thalra didn’t become wealthy until much later on in life. Even in the Underdark her parents were poor, though her mother came from a noble family, she had left it all behind to be with Thalra’s father. Resources were scarce, but Thalra’s parents were much kinder than some drow elves are known to be and never ate a meal without first ensuring Thalra and Rinnil had eaten. After the Underdark, Thalra and Rinnil were taken in by an orphanage where conditions weren’t much better. This is where Thalra learned what actual hunger felt like, the kind that claws at your insides like an animal begging to be released. 

28. What is their educational background?

Her education was better than most drow children who didn’t come from nobility thanks to her mother’s formal education. Her father was also a religious man who worshipped Berronar Truesilver, a dwarven goddess that Vaeril had come to worship after he’d fled the Underdark many years ago, ending up in Khaggon. He taught his children all about the goddess of truth and safety, but Thalra had was skeptical even then. Education at the orphanage was nearly non-existant except for their preachings of the goddess of misfortune, Beshaba, who seemed to be the exact opposite of her father’s goddess. 

29. As a child, what did they want to be when they grew up?

Powerful. It didn’t matter what else she was, as long as she wasn’t helpless. 

30. What advice would they give to their younger self?

“Don’t let him leave.” 

31. Growing up, were they ever bullied or were they the bully?

For the first few months after arriving at the orphanage, the other children ostracized Thalra and her brother because they were different. Drow elves are an uncommon sight and the twins’ sunlight sensitivity was an easy target. This didn’t last long however, as Thalra quickly made it clear she and Rinnil were not to be messed with. They were never outright threats, as she would stay silent and dull eyed during most abuse, but terrible things would always befall the children who were cruel to her or her brother. Dead, bloodied rats in their beds, hair cut off while they slept, proof of crimes they didn’t commit showing up where the priests could find it. Thalra was merciless. 

32. Who do they look up to/who is their role model?

Jelxi Silvershaper runs the brothel that bought Thalra when the orphanage sold her and Rinnil, and ever since she’s been like a second mother to Thalra. She too is a whisper bard and taught Thalra most of the magic she knows now. 

PRESENT -

33. Do they currently have a place of residence?

Yes. She owns an entire building in Myrefall though she’s currently abandoned it now that she’s on the run from a shadowy order of assassins who know where she lives. 

34. What is their most treasured possession?

Currently: a parasol and a sending stone, both from Efrain and a dagger made by The Order of Shadows.

35. What is their drink of choice?

Red wine, but only the expensive stuff. 

36. Which king/queen are they loyal to, if any?

None, but she thinks Ivana is the hottest among the siblings. 

37. Have they ever killed anyone?

Of course. Unrelated, but when a particularly possessive client oversteps they occasionally have unfortunate accidents or become terminally ill or go on trips they never come back from. It’s all very unfortunate.  

38. What was their last promise and did they keep it?

She promised her brother they’d have time to have an honest conversation later. It was never a promise she intended to keep. 

LOVE -

39. What was their first kiss like, if they’ve had one?

It when she was still young, around fourteen, with another girl who had recently come to stay at the orphanage. It was pretty terrible and more of a headbutt than a kiss because she had done it so suddenly and without warning. She then immediately ran away to find Nil and cry. 

40. Are they in a relationship/have a love interest?

Thalra has been courted before and been on dates, but it’s all been with people who are paying her in one form or another. It’s always a transaction, so it’s never actually been a romantic relationship. 

41. Have they ever been in love?

She doesn’t think she’s capable of falling in love, and even if she was what would it matter? She doesn’t need more tragedy in her life. But objectively speaking, yes, she’s been in love. Parts of her fall in love with numerous people all the time. 

42. Have they ever had their heart broken?

Yes. And not just in the romantic sense. Her heart never fully recovered after her brother left. 

SPIRITUALITY -

43. Do they follow a god, if so who?

No, but she likes Mask. She used to send little prayers to him when Nil would go out on jobs for the Thieves Guild. 

44. What do they think happens to them after death?

She knows the pantheon exists so she knows the afterlife exists as well, she’s just overly concerned with where she ends up. Death is a far away concept that she won’t have to consider for a very long time. 

I can’t stop thinking about Sia even with her campaign over, so here’s another story.

40 years. It had been 40 years since she ran away from home. As much as she had decided to forget about her life before Sia hadn’t. She still thought about her father more than she liked to admit. He’d be an old man at this point.

After 40 years of study she had become quite an accomplished sorceress. Not to the same level of magic as her master, of course, but enough that she could easily impress a human lord. She had run away all those years ago with the single desire to return to her father as a master of the arcane arts. While she no longer longed for his approval she still wanted to impress him. Just see him one last time and show him how wrong he had been to ignore her all those years. Make him realize what he had lost.

“Erol,” she said one day as she picked up a cup of tea her butler had just poured for her, “I want to visit my father.”

Erol paused his movements and looked at her. She had told him stories of her childhood and his hackles raised at the thought of the man who had made his mistress feel so isolated.

“Why now?” he asked. He thought she wanted nothing to do with him.

Sia stared down at her cup and her eyes narrowed.

“He’ll probably be dead soon. I want to see him before that happens.” she said.

So preparations were made. Sia decided not to send a letter announcing her incoming visit. She wanted to surprise him. She was wiser than she was when she had left. She understood others better. She didn’t want him to be comfortable.

A mess of emotions tied themselves into knots in her stomach on the carriage ride to the Ho estate. She was confident in herself, but doubt still had its claws in her. That old desire to do anything to gain her father’s approval flickering inside her, the fear of not receiving it. Her perfectly manicured nails were digging into her palms as her fists rested on her lap. 

Erol reached over and placed a hand on one of her fists and she relaxed. Smiling at him she placed her other hand on top. Yes, as long as Erol with her she would be fine. No matter how things went she would be fine. At the end of the day she would return back to her home and her happy life where she had everything she wanted.

At the gate they were stopped by guards. She didn’t pay them any attention as she stared at the lawn and the house. She had never actually seen this place before, having been raised in the summer home. Her childhood home had been a lovely place, but this was larger. More emotions twisted in her gut at the sight of the place.

The guards were really quite annoying. Telling her she needed proof of an invite to go any further. Erol opened his mouth to say something, but Sia cut him off.

“Is Lord Takahiro home?” she asked.

“Do you have an appointment?”

“I don’t need an appointment. Is he home or not?”

“If you don’t have an appointment then we can’t-”

“As his daughter I think it is my right to come and go as I please.”

The guards froze as she glared at them. They each looked her up and down and then glanced at each other. Clearly they did not believe this unknown drow woman was related to their human lord.

“My name is Sia Ho. You will tell me if he is home and if he is I am going inside. You will not stop me.” she said as her grip on her staff tightened.

“I’ll... bring this inside. You can stay here until I get back.” one guard said before nodding to his partner and walking up to the house. Sia sighed as the other guard glared at her. She flicked her hand towards him and sent him floating in the air.

With a yelp the guard struggled 20ft in the air as she calmly walked under him and followed the other guard’s path. She had told them they wouldn’t stop her. At the door Erol opened it for her and two figures froze as they turned to look at her in the doorway. One was the guard and the other looked like a steward.

“What are you doing here?” the guard asked, angry.

“Where is Takahiro Ho? I demand to speak with him.” Sia said, ignoring him.

“You can’t just waltz in demanding things-” the steward started, but Sia stepped to the side and pointed to the floating guard.

“Do you wish to join him? If not tell the lord that his daughter, Sia, is here.” she said.

“Why you...” the guard was reaching for his sword.

Sia summoned a Mage Hand and quickly pulled the sword from his grip. He gaped at it.

“I would really rather avoid fighting. I wore a nice dress today,” Sia said as she stared at them coldly. “All I want is to speak to my father. Bring me to him. Or are those simple directions too much for you to understand?”

“I’ll... I’ll get go get him.” the steward said before trotting off.

“Good,” Sia said before turning her eyes back to the guard. “If you promise to play nice I’ll let your friend down and give you back your sword.”

He nodded and Sia gently let the other guard down, who quickly ran up to them. He looked quite angry, but his friend held an arm out in front of him and shook his head. Sia returned the weapon and then found a chair for herself to sit in, Erol standing guard at her side as he eyed the two humans. They eyed him back.

Eventually the steward came back and said, “Lord Takahiro will see you now, but your attendant must wait here.”

“No,” Sia said as she rose to her feet. “He will come with me. Lead the way.”

“I really must insi-”

Sia cut him off with a cold glare and he shut his mouth. He lead them up the stairs and down a hall before stopping and opening a door.

“Here is the guest, sir.” he said as he stepped aside for Sia.

When the old man looked at her she was surprised. She felt... nothing. A stranger stood before her. She had only hazy memories of what her father looked like, and the wrinkled, white-haired man with a cane before her did not match them.

“You may go.” the old man said to his steward. The steward bowed and left. Lord Takahiro Ho stared at Sia, and then at Ero, then he said, “Did Narcelia send you?"

“Narcelia?” Sia blinked.

“You look like her and know the name of our daughter. I can only assume you were sent by her for some purpose.”

A spark of anger came to life inside her. She gripped her staff tightly and calmly said, “So Narcelia is my mother’s name? It’s nice to finally know that much. Hello, father, it’s been some time.”

His eyes narrowed.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing at, but you are a poor actor. Sia was a half-elf. Clearly, if she were my daughter.” he said.

“I can assure you I am your daughter, Sia. I went through quite a lot of changes since you last saw me. By the grace of a god I was given this elven body. I was happy to be rid of anything that would tie me to you.” Sia said.

Her father was quiet for some time as he looked at her. She stared back. 

“What is it you want?” he finally said.

She wanted him to acknowledge her. Even after all this time that’s all she wanted. As a child she wanted him to care about her and be proud of her. Now she wanted him to feel guilt over having lost her. After everything she still only ever wanted him to admit she existed.

“Did you ever wonder what had happened to me?” she asked. She couldn’t answer him, not yet. She needed to know this before she could.

“I had heard Sia had disappeared. Nothing else.” he said.

“That’s not what I asked,” she said sharply. “I asked you if you had ever wondered what happened to me. Obviously I disappeared, but did you ever try to find me? Did you worry about my safety? What did you do when you had learned I was gone?”

“... I sent out a small investigation and eventually learned she mostly likely fled to Waterdeep.”

“I did go to Waterdeep. Did you do nothing else?”

“I decided to wait until I heard more news. Nothing else ever came up so the matter was dropped.”

Sia slammed her staff into the floor and yelled out, “Did you not care I was gone?”

He said nothing and the spark of anger grew to a flame.

“I ran off to study magic! I thought if I could control my abilities you would be happy! I did learn magic. I’ve learned so much magic I could level this entire place and rebuild it all in a day!”

As she yelled colored lights began to pop into existence around her. They bobbed and twinkled as small flames broke out across her exposed arms. They danced across her skin and flickered as she glared at the man before her.

“But do you know the most important thing I learned was? I learned I didn’t need to do anything for you. You, who had shunted me away and forbade me from ever exploring the outside world. I had spent my childhood doing everything I could to please you.”

She took a step towards him and he took a step back.

“I was so ready to put my powers to your service. I wanted to show them off to you and then do whatever you asked of me. Had you treated me right I would have, but then I met others on my journey. People who did treat me right. Why would I go back to you when they had given me more than you ever had?”

He was staring at her, wide-eyed. She took a deep breath and her magic dissipated. Then she turned around and started walking back towards the door before she stopped.

“I died on my journey,” she said, not turning around. “I died at 15 still wanting to return to you. I’m glad Hanali Celanil brought me back and took away my human half.” she said. She looked at Erol and he moved to open the door.

“Wait!” her father called out. Sia didn’t move as Erol opened the door. “If you really are Sia then... I’m sorry.”

“Good. Feel sorry.” she said without looking back at him and walked through the door.

As she strode through the halls she passed servants frozen in place. They stared at her with wide eyes as she passed them. She wondered how far her voice had carried as she had yelled at her father. The steward eventually ran up to her and was saying something, but she tuned him out.

“I’m leaving. Thank you for your hospitality.” she said as she marched back to the door.

She paid no mind to the guards when she made her way back to the carriage. Erol helped her inside and she stared straight ahead as they finally pulled away from the Ho estate.

“Are you alright?” Erol asked her.

“No,” she said simply. “but I feel better.” She turned to look at him, giving her butler a sad smile. “I know that doesn’t make sense, but... I don’t know. I don’t feel like talking about it.”

She laid her head on his shoulder and grabbed his hand.

“Play me a song when we get back.” she said softly.

“Of course.” he said as he squeezed her hand.

@ the DND ask game: ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS, I CAN'T CHOOSE!! XD (or if not that, the ones you rlly wanna do!!

BOY OH BOY OH BOYIve been answering these throughout the day and I’m too lazy to reread the full document so sorry if I’ve left gaps or whatever but here it is! All 35 questions about dnd! Matt you unstoppable Madman.

1. A favorite character you have played.

You can’t just make me pick between my children!!! I think I might have to say Atticus Sallow, my faeborn bloodhunter, partially because he’s like 100% homebrew content which I LIVE for, but also because he’s probably the most kinda self-insert character I’ve ever played? Almost became the kinda angsty, brooding asshole character before he was like “get your shit together” and learned that loving people isn’t so bad.

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

I almost, ALMOST had the pleasure of DMing for @no-more-good-omens and their character was gonna be SO RAD and I’m a little heartbroken he never came to be. A half-drow paladin of Vecna, pretending to be your typical good and wholesome paladin? Dude, I love that kinda two faced backstabbing in a player. It’s such a shame it never came to anything (although if yall still wanna play hmu ;))

3. Your favorite side quest.

Ooh, there’s been so many good ones. Probably when i was playing as Adrian Smirks and went off on a tangent to rescue his brother ? That was the first time I ever got to see Adrian’s more raw and emotional side beneath the suave mask he wears and it was fun to explore his character in that way ^.^

4. Your current campaign.

That I’m DMing? It started inspired by Guy Fawkes and was gonna be “your party blows up parliament” but I got bored of following historical accuracy so it ended up being “blow up the palace in a magical city that just happens to be called London”. I accidentally wrote myself into a hole with this campaign tho, so once they’ve finished this arc I’m handing over the DM hat to my sister @philosophical-wanton because she seems to love it and I kinda miss being a player lmao. I can’t wait for it.

5. Favorite NPC.That I’ve written? Probably Hai Shen, the youngest son of a group of circus performers who were killed and the party got blamed for their murder. He had such a great attitude and his dynamics with the party kicked ass. And the twist that he was actually dead the whole time and it was his soul that had stayed behind to help solve his family’s murder? ICONIC.

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

NPC death would probably be Hai Shen, actually. After the party had brought the real killers (A cult to the demon Prince Orcus) to justice, Hai’s time on earth had come to an end. He had really beautiful moment with the party before being reunited with his family. Alternatively, the time I broke my entire party’s hearts? “Artagan’s staff comes cracking into Ellios’ chest, forcing him onto the ground. Artagan raises his sceptre in hand, pointing it menacingly at the young prince. And for the first time, you see him. Like, REALLY see him. He’s not the strong and powerful leader you’ve all come to know him as, he’s not Prince Ellios of the Four Realms. He’s just a boy. A boy who is much too young to be involved in such a grand scheme. And the fear in his eyes. You see the fear he’s managed to keep buried for so long, finally coming to the surface. And then? You don’t see anything, aside from his cold body hitting the ground.” I got punched three times for that moment, but GOD was it worth it.

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

Like in game? A healthy lil bit of vandalising the local law enforcement buildings is always a good time.

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

Aw man, how can I pick ? I gotta say, that one time we, a level 6 party, managed to take down two earth elementals was pretty rad. The DM kind of expected it to be one of those encounters that we saw and immediately tried to run from, but what she didn’t take into account was that ALL of us had chaotic alignments so we just went crazy. The DM was rolling really badly (thank God) and we were getting really creative (“I use the produce flame centripetal to light my bottle of ale on fire and create a molotov cocktail” “you do WHAT”) and after like an HOUR we won and it was amazing. The rush I got from that victory was better than any drug my dood.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

I know I say it a lot, but I legit can’t choose. There’s so many great things about ttrpgs that a lot of people don’t really think of. The creative fulfilment I get from a session is incomparable, the friendships you can build that you couldn’t form in any other way. And like, not to get too real for a sec here, but I grew up with undiagnosed autism and didn’t understand how a lot of social situations worked, and DnD was such a good mechanic for me to try communicating with people without many real world consequences, and I appreciate that experience so much. It’s just such a great thing my dood.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

Can they be the same thing lmao? I mean, I’m obviously partial to Count Cassius, the vampire lord that Adrian slept with lmao. I also always appreciate a good beholder, until I get hit with three disintegration rays IN A ROW.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

We’ve got kind of a monthly schedule with my main campaign, and I manage to get a couple online games in-between them, but honestly I’d kill to be the kind of group that got together every weekend.

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

Oh MAN. “I say we do this.” “Yeah, but that’s coming from the guy who decided to tie 3 50ft ropes together to escape the palace.” “iT wOrKeD dIdN’t iT ???” i.e that time I forgot I gave the gnome rogue flying boots so when I planned for them to get arrested at the palace, they managed to escape by tying their ropes together, sending the gnome with it to the top and climbing the wall. I had to improvise the rest of the session. Also “FLINTON BELINDA SKINTON” bc as a role-play exercise I got my party to come up with rumours about their characters and the gnome rogue called Flint AKA Flinton B Skinton decided that one of their rumours was that the B stood for Belinda, and it was GLORIOUS.

13. Introduce your current party.

My current group consists of Flinton B Skinton, gnome rogue. He’s a quick-fingered, silver-tongued gay disaster who can sell anything to anyone. He’s a charming flirt, and a veritable genius in his own right. Kava Daardendrian, dragonborn ranger who loves nothing in life more than her animal companion - her pig Snortin Norton. She’s fun and sassy and shameless, she’s great. There’s Sparks, the fire Genasi Monk, and full embodiment of a disaster lesbian. She drinks, fights, and gets laid, and doesn’t deal with her problems in healthy ways. An icon. And finally Milo, the halfling Bard who falls in love at the drop of a hat and just wants everyone to get along. I call them “The Shenanigang” and I love them.

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

A party I joined late? We had Sylvia Moondrop, the half elf sorcerer who was just trying to get along with everyone despite what the world seemed to want. Orland the half orc bard who was just trying to shake off the Barbarian stereotype his family left him with. Rose Morleen, air Genasi fighter who was literally born to kick ass and take names. I joined as Mason Terrai, the Earth Genasi Alchemist with a perchance for explosives. The very definition of chaotic neutral.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

Of COURSE. What manic wouldn’t ?

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

I used to play online a LOT back before I had friends who were into dnd, but I VASTLY prefer playing in person. The chemistry that’s built not only amongst the players, but also the actual characters themselves is unparalleled. It’s just such a great experience.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

Anyone can attempt anything, the only restriction is the dice. Don’t question the DM unless it’s out of session, then bully the dm on the groupchat until he’s so pissed off he gives you inspiration just to get you to shut up. And also canon lore and canon rules are bullshit when it’s convenient. That’s about it

18. Does your party keep any pets?

Our ranger, God bless her, has her pack pig Snortin Norton, sold to her by one Flinton B Skinton. And Flint really wants a monkey, he’s been trying to find one for ages.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

Not really ? I’m the kind guy that if my dice rolls a 1 I will bench it for a bit, but tbh all my dice are cursed af and I’ve kinda just learned to roll with it by making my characters canonically terrible at everything lmao.

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

Aw man I can’t remember when or how, it’s been so long. I had a couple friends who were kinda into it, but all the games they tried to run were complete disasters. I only really started playing I’m the past year or so? Maybe a little more ? Adrian was my first character, and he was a very RP heavy character in a party of tanks and they all hated him but MAN was it fun.

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

Oh all the time. One time my character was careless and didn’t check for traps on a legendary artefact and it lead to the death of a party member. One time my character got angry at his party and walked out. My characters don’t make good decisions, but that’s part of the fun.

22. What color was your first dragon?

White! I thought it was silver at first and went to go say hi, and it clawed me within half my HP straight away lmao.

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

Oh dude, original all the way. I live for that shit.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

Depends on the session, but usually a good few hours, couple of days if I’m DMing.

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

“You wake up in a mysterious forest. The strained autumn sun shines through the trees. The only thing you can see it each other, the trees, and an old sign post leading to a path that says "Myrrill” on it. What do you do?“ "We walk in the opposite direction of the sign deeper into the forest.” “…of course you do.”

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

I wrote a full carnival show one time for them to watch, and then it got derailed when a horrific monster attacked. But writing all the characters and their acts, and watching my players get entranced as I described it ? Magical, my dood.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

I live and breathe homebrew content. I don’t know what my games would be without it. I LOVE homebrew.

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

I make some pretty sick characters if I do say so myself, so I throw them in a LOT.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Oh dude, role play all the way. Fighting and killing stuff is great, but role-play is just so good. We can go from laughing with a bartender to crying over a backstory reveal and it’s just beautiful.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

Depends on the party, but i find the best players are a little bit of both XD

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

Official ? I’m a fan of the hexblade warlock? Bards are always a good call, and to be real playing monks make me feel like an absolute badass. Race wise, there are just so many. If we’re only talking players handbook stuff, half elf is always rad. Outside of that? I’ve been researching the Shadar-Kai lately and I’m LIVING. They’re so rad.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

What would you call the disaster gay? I don’t really gear my characters towards usefulness in combat, so it’s just whatever the class happens to lend itself to.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

I usually write my character, personality, backstory, alignment etc, before I even pick a class or even a race. I basically just make OCs and apply them to dnd rules, and it’s SO much fun. 10/10, would recommend.34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

FLAVOUR. My party usually hates me, but what I lack in combat utility I more than make up for in creative out of combat skill checks XD.

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

Boi, I even RP my combat, and the great thing is it rubs off on my party too. I’ll have a really low initiative and everyone else will be like “I attack and do 10 points of damage” but then on my round I’m like “I use my staff to leap across the battlefield towards the opponent and launch out with a spinning kick to their jaw” and everyone else is like “oh, okay, that’s what we’re doing.” and the battle becomes so much more dynamic and cinematic, it’s amazing !