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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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AITA for faking orgasms?

This might come as a shock given the title but I'm a man, and so is my boyfriend. However I'm much more sexually experienced than him, as in I'm his first sexual/romantic partner meanwhile I've had sex with at least 30 different guys before. I also generally have a more consistent libido, and I'm desensitized down there to a degree, AND I also often get stuck in my own head due to certain neuroses and ocd and whatnot -- all this to say, it's REALLY hard for me to reach a real climax with another person.

And my bf is aware of this. I've told him many times. I've also reassured him (truthfully!) that partially due to this, an orgasm is not the end-all-be-all of sex for me, and that I can absolutely enjoy myself without "finishing." And if he still feels bad, I will not only take a backrub or something essentially as a replacement for him making me finish, but I in fact often prefer it. I promise I've tried everything; this is not a communication issue.

But. Basically no matter what I say or do, he just doesn't believe me. Or he isn't capable of accepting it, idk. He's insistent that it makes him bad at sex and it means he couldn't please me if I don't come... all the while that he almost never actually takes initiative to do any dominant role? So tbqh he's not totally wrong about that self-assessment but it's still ridiculous bc he doesn't even know WHY? Anyway.

Telling him things that he could do to ever make it better doesn't really work either, because the moment I "criticize" him during sex, even if it's just telling him to move his legs into a different position, he often takes it incredibly personally and just stops wanting to have sex altogether bc he's suddenly not in the mood. And if it's after he's finished, he's basically conked out. He never has any energy by that point except to more or less demand that I come, as nowadays he counts my capacity to jerk off afterwards as something evident of his "ability to please me," I guess. By that point, I'm still just jerking off by myself while he plays on his phone or falls asleep next to me, which I hate and find a huge turn-off and have expressed multiple times that it's at least "weird" and "funny" to do so. But he keeps doing it.

Inb4 the most likely majority response to a lot of this: I'm aware that we're clearly not that sexually compatible. But leaving the relationship is not an option even if I wanted to. The routine of us having sex is, regardless of exactly how satisfying it is, essentially necessary to our mutual happiness.

Now that that's out of the way, here's the real meat: I've decided relatively recently to just... pretend to come. I can often get to a sort of mini-orgasm long before a real one is on the horizon and I just kind of exaggerate that. It really turns him on, and it gets rid of any of the tension that would otherwise be there once we're both done, and I'm able to either fall asleep or otherwise move on in peace.

Now obviously, this is lying, and I don't like having to lie, and also if he ever realizes that I fake them then he's gonna feel even worse than when I outright say I didn't come. But clearly it's also causing strife to be truthful, and it's also not that hard to fake it. Whatever I communicate to him is at best forgotten - and it most likely *is* genuine, innocent forgetfulness bc he has severe ADHD. I'd likely never know if it happened that he is straight up ignoring what I say. In any case it's to a level that it just seems like my only solution is to fake it.

Does he have a right to know if I haven't actually come? AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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goblins-riddles-or-frocks · 3 months

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You said this : "The ice cold fakeout of giving her hope that he might spare Mal? The implication that he’s fucking terrified of the fact that her offer is. actually tempting. That he might have a weakness as terrible as feelings."

I am kind of not sure how her offer involves feelings? I personally interpreted that offer as "I would one day become strong enough to defeat/kill you and I won't do it and would instead be loyal to you if you spare Mal". Is not wanting to die the feeling here? Because i would believe it 💀 yes not wanting to die is a sign of weakness indeed 👍🏻

I always just thought he just didn't believe her which yes she is lying, she will definitely eventually kill that menace of a man regardless.

Re: this post

Ah, I read that scene very differently!

The way the scene trajectory progresses, he starts out bitter and making up for it by flexing his power over her and making her beg. He already seems really spiteful and offended that she would turn on him so quickly.

I think this is very much a power trip that comes from him already feeling like he’s not as in control as he would like to be. That he did not have his claws in her as deep as he would have liked— because otherwise how could she have run?

Then she offers a trade, her cooperation for Mal’s life. It’s objectively a pretty good deal for him. He has something to hold over her head for a very long time! And she promised complete cooperation for something that ostensibly costs him very little.

I don’t think either of them view her as of enough consequence for killing him to even be a consideration tbqh. Her main threat is that if he kills Mal she will generally make his life harder and also try to kill herself.

So it’s more a question of whether he’s going to force her cooperation or simply accept it at the cost of keeping one guy alive. I really don’t think it’s a deal that, at face value, requires much trust or vulnerability for him. Accepting or not accepting isn’t going to make him more or less likely to live, it’s just about what his dynamic with Alina will be like.

Meanwhile he, and the narrative itself, seems to assume some sort of romantic or at least sexual element to any situation where she agrees to work with him. Here, he immediately reacts to her offer by a) kissing her (creep!!!) and b) an expression described as “longing” lmao. And similarly in S&S, the second she agrees to go with him in the chapel, he immediately starts making out with her in front of everyone’s salad. It’s taken for granted.

I’ve said before that there’s a constant undercurrent of sexual violence in all of their interactions. In the same vein, her being in his control is something that is consistently sexualized. The very concept of him putting a collar and fetters on her just. has undertones.

Re: the description of “longing” You could arguably read this behavior as him just lying again, but I think that’s inconsistent with the rest of his behavior. Throughout the series it’s clear that he does desire some sort of companionship or connection and that that’s a large part of his obsession with Alina. That there could be someone as long lived as him, who might understand him. But he also, textually, explicitly, finds any sort of vulnerability completely abhorrent. (“The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak” is basically his character thesis!)

The prospect of a prisoner who will willingly submit to him vs one who will fight him every step of the way seems to be a tempting one for him. He seems to actually consider it— and again, at face value, it really wouldn’t cost him much!

So when he refuses, I think it comes from him feeling threatened by the idea that he’s tempted at all. Longing isn’t something he wants to feel! It’s a weakness! The fact that she might have something to bargain with is itself intolerable to him. And I think that ties into how cruelly he goes about All Of This.

He’s deliberately closing the door on any sort of civility between them. I joke a lot about how short sighted it is that he doesn’t try to do any sort of damage control whatsoever the moment he catches up to her while they’re hunting for the stag. That it would probably be VERY easy to convince her back to his side. But at the crux of it, I think he cannot tolerate any scenario where she is given enough space to choose or be convinced at all.

And yeah I think that all comes back to his character thesis line!

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #grisha trilogy #all the bendy punctuations #a mysterious stranger has appeared #i ramble sometimes

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tomwambsgans · 8 months

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just want to say your insight into Tom's sexuality is very validating and a much-needed perspective in a fandom that appears to overwhelmingly read him as bi.

I think people simply underestimate how deeply fucked up Tom's relationship towards sex and socialisation is, how truly unbelievably repressed and self-loathing he is, and how much this ties into the show's overall male ideal and themes of sexuality+emasculation. things like when he's trying to get Shiv pregnant in s3 (and saying sex without trying for a baby is pointless), or the Tabitha storyline, show that he clearly has issues separate from and preceding Greg (and even Shiv). and it's interesting how tomgreg leaves people less inclined to consider the character's orientations discretely and in fact often leads to adoption of the baffling fanon trope of 'middle-aged conservatively socialised man is secretly comfortable in his bisexuality'. it also just seems shallow to me when people act like his being gay would somehow invalidate his love for and romantic attachment to Shiv, which are things often regarded as the only 'real' aspect of their (exceptionally compelling) relationship. so many fics insert a clarification to the effect of 'Tom is bi, not gay, he did love Shiv, don't worry!' that just comes across as reductive to me. like I promise this fandom the gay male experience is not an easy one-size-fits-all and closeted men do date/love women. sometimes they even marry them! and impregnate them! (hi, Greg's dad?)

I could go on forever so again, just here to say that I really appreciate your posts about this. I don't think Tom was originally 'intended' as gay but that's simply how the show evolved through the writing and acting. there are plenty of characters I read as bi or repressed bi (I think it's not uncommon in media), Tom just isn't one of them lol.

printing out this message and eating it oh my god thank you SO much

you basically said it all. and specifically on the point of (fandom) ppl being inexplicably convinced that a gay man can't have ever loved a woman is so insane like... what do you think the closet IS lol. i don't know a single gay man who was at some point closeted enough to date women who would say that they didn't feel ANYTHING about those women. the idea of "he clearly loves shiv so he can't be gay" honestly just betrays a naivety about... most aspects of life, lol. the nuances of emotion and constructing the self and repression, and of all the things that go into love and desire (something tackled imo pretty well by the show itself so it's kinda insane to be so off the mark while a fan of succession), and tbqh of tom's motives period. and i mean also, of course, about male homosexuality. i can't necessarily blame anyone, at least individually, like for just not being a gay man or knowing enough about gay men, but the sheer lack of it is... yeah a little frustrating lol. i can vouch quite personally for the fact that sometimes gay men, even WHILE knowing that they're gay, can date women and love them. deciding to pursue what you really desire rather than what creates a certain image for yourself is then a matter of self-love.

anyway. i recommend reading like literally any gay man's memoir for anyone who wants to make an effort at a deep understanding of all the stuff I say about gay tom. i'm reading this one rn by paul monette called Becoming A Man that feels SO uncannily tom to me and i kinda wish everyone would read it so I'll use this opportunity to put it out there lol

finally I wanna say that maybe I'm a little too wishful but with some of the lines in the script that didn't make it to the final cut I do lowkey suspect Closeted Gay Tom to have been the intended reading from the beginning. like "shall I be mother"? "all girls here"? js

#anonymous #❤️❤️❤️❤️

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hexjulia · 8 months

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not very promising tbqh but at the very least a good food colorant i think. i don't know how I'd be able to retain that intense bright pink for textile though. maybe not at all, as alum doesn't seem to much for it going by the other experiments

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sowthetide · 1 month

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Before I clog up your comments on the last chapter, a few more observations from rereading:

1. Alyn and Oberyn should meet. It could go really well or really badly.

2. Baelor has been avoiding the main characters for a long time! What's he up to? He and Quen have so much in common, I really hope they get the chance to be friends.

3. Yuselen is not subtle about hinting about who his father is. Is Quen too self-absorbed to notice or so sensibly frightened of Euron that she is in denial? Both? Either way, I also hope that she acknowledges him as her cousin, preferably somewhere Jon can make a face about it.

A. Off topic, but Quen and Theon seem much more scared of Euron than Asha is. Asha could be stubbornly repressing childhood memories, but I suspect that Theon/Quen is so much like Aeron that Euron was deliberately recreating his Evillest Hits. And maybe it's more enjoyable for him to torment the most sensitive relatives.

#1: I won't spoil, but there will be some degree of overlap between the Orkwoods and Martells later on. In a non-soul-crushing context, even!

#2: Baelor has his own schemes going on with Harras- nothing nefarious per se, but Baelor & Harras are obviously going to conduct themselves differently from most other ironborn. Harras' mother was from the westerlands (House Serrett), so he'll treat Fair Isle (relatively) gently. Similarly, Baelor is probably doing the best he can to avoid going toe-to-toe with the Redwyne Fleet (given that he has a Beesbury for a mother). We haven't seen the last of either of them, though, I promise ;-)

#3: Yep! Euron's bastard & salt sons really stuck out to me in the books- how horrific their lives must be, what they think about Euron, about their mothers, about themselves, etc. Then I read dwellingondreams' Last Serving Daughter, and I was left even more fascinated by the potential of Euron's salt sons. Yuselen isn't exactly subtle about his parentage, but who pays attention to salt sons? They're basically furniture, beasts of burden, mindless foot soldiers for their lordly fathers, in that awkward/thorny limbo between common men and noblemen.

I considered having Yus be a vessel for Euron (in the same way Euron is suspected of skin-changing all of the members of his crew), but that's a big can of worms and honestly, I also liked the idea that Yus had simply been forgotten in the chaos. Euron has no regard for his salt/bastard sons:

[Victarion:] "They are of your body." [Euron:] "So are the contents of my chamber pot. None is fit to sit the Seastone Chair, much less the Iron Throne. No, to make an heir that's worthy of him, I need a different woman..."

And it's that disregard that allows Yus to escape him. It also worked out well with Wex, as Yus is really good at interpreting mute people (gee I wonder why...)

A. You noticed that, huh? 👀 I sort of buy theories about Rodrik and Maron (and even Asha) also being abused by Euron, but I think Euron is more... purposeful than that (yuck). It's not about sex, it's about fear and control, and I think you're right that Euron would probably get the most enjoyment/amusement out of recreating his dynamic with Aeron with Quen/Theon. In this fic, it was my intent to portray Euron as pursuing Quen not just because she's the most vulnerable target, but also because he wants to torment Aeron in particular. You can also imagine Quen/Theon as having received the least positive attention from Balon, so it's easier for Euron to use that to his advantage.

goddcoward is an Aeron scholar, and their thoughts about Euron-Aeron-Theon have got me climbing the walls of my enclosure tbqh. Once I get the Discord up and running, I can guarantee that they'll be chucking Aeron grenades at us.

#ask #listanon #i think?#grey flea you shall be known on this day lol

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namimikan · 1 year

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i do think days of hana is an improvement to orange marmalade, and i feel like the cutesy art style fits the story more, as well as promising something... darker

haru’s a mixed bag tho. on one hand, i do think him being a werewolf is... like i’m more comfortable with the possessiveness in a sense? i’m still not wholly on board with it, but uh. i’m happier to let it slide bc werewolf stock tropes, even tho i’m still not happy with it. it’s better than orange marmalade.

haru/hana doesn’t work as a ship. yeah, i guess you could say it’s the master/servant aspects of it. or the fact that they essentially grew up as siblings, so it feels more incestuous than i think the story means them to be. both are... pretty good reasons not to ship it. i like them as siblings, tbqh! and haru pining for hana is just... uh, not a fan. he’s cute, but! don’t particularly care for this ship.

the friendship group feels more organic this time around? OM group was... meant to be flawed humans but uh, i didn’t like most of them, and never really got endeared to them, bc they felt too superficial. this group seems better...? more likeable? but i like haru and his werewolf friends.

jeff is... yikes. but he’s def. supposed to be this time around, so i kind of like him better than OM’s ML. (even tho i know he’s not the ML, but hana likes him right now, so.)

#manhwa blogging #currently: days of hana

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adspexi · 5 years

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My problem is this: Quentin said that he forgave Alice because he was putting aside the “naive” ideas he’d had when they first met. When he asked her to start over, it was with the mindset that everything was terrible and he had to let go of his younger self’s view of the world, of “how people should be.” He sounded like he was on the verge of a breakdown the entire time he was asking her; he wasn’t in a good place.

Alice agreed to that right after an episode where she met a younger, happier s1 Quentin, whose biggest problem was a pile of rope and who loved her without reservation. That’s what she’s looking for in him; she’s encouraging him to feel this deep, uncomplicated, literally childlike love for Fillory as well as herself. The pep talk she gives him is telling him to go back to the love that he had for Fillory (and by extension, Alice) as an idea, as something that could keep him alive or give him a chance for an escape, no matter how different it turned out to be in practice. Quentin loves what Fillory (Alice) did for him when he was younger, what it saved him from, but his feelings for the place itself are complicated at best. They were enough to give him some hope in a tight situation, but who knows how he’ll feel when he’s got room to catch his breath and re-evaluate?

#the magicians #quentin coldwater #alice quinn #I'm not against them as a concept and this looks like it can lead some interesting places #but the way it's being set up isn't exactly promising for a healthy long-term relationship #tbqh it seems like something's going to happen to one of them in the finale and this is a way of making whatever happens hurt even more #in grand magicians-finale tradition

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windmillwizard · 6 years

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this @themortalpath episode........please listen to it

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clatterbane · 2 years

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Getting a batch of cooked apples going, like I've been wanting to do for a while now!

Still slightly amazing, just how much easier prep work like this can be, if you actually have a workstation set up at an appropriate height! 😊 One of the reasons I put off doing this, tbqh, with as much of an awkward hassle as it was, trying to get much done in our cramped much less accessible old kitchen. You were either trying to do stuff sitting sideways to it, on a cluttered too-high counter surface, or working in your lap. Also, naturally I was still in the earlier stages of trying to adjust and figure out how to get much of anything done as a new wheelchair user.

I mean, picking up that more ergonomic peeler (for like £2 at Tesco!) has made a huge enough difference to trying to get some basic prep work done, without ending up with seriously cramped-up hands/arms and aggravating pain from these wonky bendy joints. You can maybe imagine how much good the full-body awkwardness trying to do pretty well any kitchen work kitchen was doing my carcass.

Of course, having at least one handy accessible working surface set up to fit my needs better was one of the major reasons I did make sure to set up thar table there in this new place. But, I can't help but still get impressed at how much easier that makes so many things on the daily. And, I am so glad to have (a) enough space available to set things up better, (b) a cleaner slate to work with, moving into this previously empty apartment, and (c) both the means and support to, like, totally reasonably just pick out a new IKEA table to suit my needs. (As just one example.)

Anyway, these Mystery Swedish Apples had been sitting around at cool room temperature for maybe a week and a half, two weeks waiting for me to get around to dealing with them--and a couple of them were starting to look the part. That chunk of an apple waiting to the side was the result of a couple of bruises I'd missed earlier, plus needing to sample one for quality control purposes. 😁 Yep, pretty tasty! Maybe especially as the first fresh apple I'd tasted in the better part of a year.

(No idea what variety these even are, just that there were several prominent "Svenska äpplen" signs around them. Still not sure after the taste test, though very possibly some Swedish variety--even better! Looked nice and fresh then, and pretty promising as cooking apples. Maybe a little more toward the sweeter side than I would normally look for, but still looking pretty damned good compared to much of what I could readily find around London.)

All done! And just about ready for the stove.

I was craving some pretty basic stewed apples, with basically just a hint of spices. Already added to the pan: the fruit tossed with a spoonful of lemon juice, about a tablespoon of honey for the hint of flavor more than sweetness, and maybe a couple teaspoons of butter. Yet to go in: a dash of pre-ground nutmeg, plus bigger sprinkles of ground allspice and cinnamon. No ginger here right now, or I would also add (preferably) a couple of fresh slices of that too.

Now on and simmering away under a lid!

Stirring about 5 minutes in. Did I add too much water to keep it from sticking? 🤔 Anybody's guess!

Also, waiting to the side, for flavor adjustment as needed at the end:

I was so glad to spot some granulated Splenda-alike at the nearest grocery store this evening! For whatever reason, any form of sucralose seems way less popular here than I would have expected? 🤔 This is actually the first I've found at all, just sold as a sweetener. It's a pretty common ingredient in prepared stuff, but not so much on its own. It's also the main artificial sweetener that doesn't taste actively gross to me.

(Stevia isn't nasty, but just doesn't taste like anything. My mom was exactly the same way with it. Guessing it's some genetic variation, like with soapy cilantro or bitter brassicas. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Could be much worse! Just not helpful with so many products using stevia extracts now. Juice drinks are just very tart at worst, but one essentially unsweetened chocolate-coater wafer protein bar was disconcerting as hell.)

I was actually considering buying some maltodextrin as a base and trying to figure out decent proportions for mixing up my own granulated version with that pure sucralose powder which I ordered basically as soon as I saw how hard it is to find in stores here--for easy baking substitution, especially. But, glad to see that I can indeed find some! And without, like, paying extra to order the stuff from Germany for the convenience value.

#food #apples #cooked apples #clatterbane middle of the night cooking show #hey I'm halfway able to do it now #extreme night owl #splenda #rambling #welcome to sweden #t1 diabetes #diabetes #trying to keep it slightly less of a carb bomb #wheelchair cooking #accessibility

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damienthepious · 3 years

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owo please have a fic comprised of 90% tender touching

Less Like A Deadly Weapon

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Sir Damien, Rilla, Lord Arum

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, Early Relationship, Post-Episode: s02e36-41 Second Citadel - The Battle at World's End, Facial Shaving, Trust, (lots of tender touching tbqh)

Summary: Sir Damien asks for a little bit of help with his grooming, now that he is no longer too busy charging through the wilds on a desperate rescue mission to bother with something as mundane as shaving.

Notes:my work life has continued to be trouble, but i've wanted to get this one out for a while now! hope y'all enjoy, kiss a lizard, et cetera, i love you! title from the song Sword by IAN SWEET.

There are not all that many mirrored surfaces within Lord Arum's Keep. The lizard is a proud creature, certainly, but he is apparently not afflicted with that particular breed of vanity. They've been recuperating for a few days already (the first two tucked safe in a hidden outpost in the swamp, the latter inside Lord Arum's enormous, living home) before Damien happens to finally notice, leaning over a cupped leaf of water that the Keep has provided as a washbasin, that he looks-

Not terrible, really. Rilla has taken great care to treat his injuries, and the Keep has within it a fascinating system of running water with which to bathe, and Damien has slept more soundly these last few days than he has in... months, perhaps? He thinks he may have lost track, somewhere in the darkness of his pursuit. He does not look terrible.

He does look somewhat unkempt.

He thinks he lost the tie for his hair... possibly while stuck upon that impostor slug? No great loss, he supposes, and his hair is clean now even if it hangs in loose waves, tucked behind his ears. The shadows beneath his eyes have mostly faded, scratches and bruises softened by Rilla's careful treatment and a little bit of time. But his face- well, he has gone rather a bit beyond stubble, at this point.

He hasn't shaved, by his estimations, since the morning the Festival of the Three began.

On the proverbial (literal?) warpath while traveling with Sir Angelo and the others in turn, he hadn't had a mind for much beyond finding Rilla. He hadn't a mind for anything, really, and taking care of his appearance was certainly not among his priorities, beyond splashing his face when his fury heated his cheeks, or when he needed to wash away some fresh tears or lakeside muck or specks of ash. His straight razor remained packed away for the entire journey.

(He remembered it, once or twice, along the way, in those too-brief moments of rest. He remembered, but he did not reach for it. He did not want to take the blade into his hand, truthfully. It is not shaped at all like anything made for combat, but still the edge sang and resounded through Damien's memory, he couldn't take the shaft into his hand, could hardly look at it without hearing that hissing voice in his mind, couldn't bear the echo of like a butcher, little knight, treat it with some respect-)

(That particular memory feels somewhat different, now, than it did then. Warmer, perhaps.)

Well. He supposes he should take care of the situation, now that he may finally slow down enough to do so.

His arm is an issue, of course. That pig managed to break his dominant limb, whether in luck or in strategy Damien dare not guess. He could attempt the task with his off hand, but-

Rilla has instructed him rather fiercely not to overexert himself, while they nurse their wounds together.

And, frankly, Damien needs little excuse to request his flower's soothing hands upon him. It certainly wouldn't be the first time that Rilla has assisted him after such an injury, after all.

She agrees with a grin the instant he broaches the subject, one of her hands teasingly on his lower back as she all but shoves him towards the washroom.

"Oh, Saints, yes. C'mon, I miss that pretty face of yours," she says brightly, and Damien feels himself flush as she lovingly manhandles him to sit by the washbasin. "I wanna see it again."

She nudges him to sit back, drapes a warm damp cloth over the bottom half of his face and then presses a kiss to his temple for good measure, making his eyelids flutter closed in pleasure. She plays with his hair for a minute or so after that, chattering enthusiastically about the understanding of the Keep's aqueduct structures that she's managed to glean so far, and then she starts working up the lather as she speaks instead. Damien tries not to mourn the lack of her hands upon him; he knows they'll return soon enough, after all.

Arum finds them when Rilla is nearly done working the foam into his softened beard, his expression wary and uncertain as Rilla greets him with a cheery wave.

He eyes Damien with curiosity, and from his position leaning back in his seat with Rilla's hand pressing to his clavicle, Arum's attention makes Damien feel more than a little exposed.

"Dare I even ask?" the lizard murmurs, his tone a perfect mixture of amusement, irritation, and confusion as he gestures at- well, at the entire scene laid out before him, Damien supposes.

"Damien needs a trim," Rilla says warmly as she finishes swirling the lather below his jaw on one side, and then she tilts his face the other way to finish up. "And he decided to be a good boy about it and actually ask for help instead of trying to muddle through on his own with just his non-dominant arm."

"Is that why you look so- so smug about it, then?" Arum asks, arching his brow imperiously even as his eyes draw over the brush and the razor and the bottles of oils and creams and balms with inquisitive attention.

"I like when Damien lets me take care of him a little bit," she croons, and Damien makes a small, warbling noise of protest, looking up at her with pleading eyes. She meets his gaze with a grin, though, utterly unfazed. "It means he's not overexerting himself. Plus, he just deserves to feel pampered now and then, don't you think?"

She shoots her sharp eyes towards Arum, and the lizard looks vaguely startled for a moment before he glances towards Damien again, a light growl rumbling in his chest.

Damien swallows automatically as he locks eyes with Arum, and then the monster's expression softens, and he steps closer, his curiosity clearly getting the better of him.

"Of course he does," Arum agrees in a murmur, and then he tilts his head. "I should mention, however... what I am gathering, here, is that you lot can, in fact, take off your hair."

Rilla pauses as she sets the brush back into the cup of lather, and then she scowls at the monster while Damien blinks in confusion.

"Okay," she drawls, "technically, sure, in the same way that you can trim back your claws and have them grow back eventually, but it's still not the same as just taking off your damn cape and washing it when someone playfully gets antifungal spray on it-"

"I feel as if I may be missing some context," Damien murmurs, and Rilla rolls her eyes as Arum chuckles low.

"Not important," she says, waving a hand absently through the air before she settles beside Damien again and lifts the razor into her hands. She angles his jaw with her other hand, then presses her fingers beside his ear as she angles the blade, and a few feet away Arum makes a small, confused noise.

Damien blinks, and Rilla pauses to glance towards Arum as well. His eyes narrow at the attention, but his frill still flutters uncertainly by his neck as he watches the pair of them with clear confusion.

"Part of your grooming routine involves scraping a blade against your skin, now?" he asks, dubious, a flash of alarm in the violet of his eyes, and Damien feels affection thrum hot in his lungs as Rilla gives a gentle laugh at the lizard's expense.

"Very, very carefully," Rilla amends. "But... yeah? Pretty much. We could just trim it back, but Damien wants a proper shave, so."

"Hrm," the monster says, obviously unconvinced as his eyes narrow further.

"Do you wanna help out?" Rilla asks, drawing her hands and the razor back away from Damien's skin altogether, and Arum blinks, the dubiousness in his expression instantly replaced with a flustered sort of panic.

"Ah- well, I- certainly I should- should leave it in your hands, I think, Amaryllis, I don't-"

"It's not that hard," Rilla says, her tone casual and easy. "I know you're good with a blade."

His frill swoops, half-flaring out before it sinks to flutter by his neck, almost distracting from the way Arum's face twists into a wince. "Not in this particular context, Amaryllis," he says quickly. "I- I am not adept in using a blade to do anything except to draw blood, I-"

Rilla leans towards him, taking his wrist gently in her free hand and rubbing her thumb soothingly across the scales over his pulse. He makes a small noise at that, a gentle whirring at the back of his throat as the tension in his shoulders eases just a little, and then Rilla presses the handle of the razor into Arum's hand, her mouth curling into a smile. "C'mon. You'll be fine, I promise."

"Amaryllis-"

"It's alright," Damien says gently, his face feeling rather hot beneath the lather. "You- if you are uncomfortable, clearly you need not... you should not feel that we are forcing you. I would-"

"You are not forcing anything, honeysuckle, it is only-" Arum snaps his mouth shut, then glances down at the razor in his hand suspiciously, as if it might misbehave. "I don't... it is only that it seems... a rather large degree of... of..."

"Trust?" Rilla finishes after a moment, her tone surprisingly gentle, and Arum jerks his eyes up towards her, his expression going entirely still.

Damien's ribcage feels too small, his heart wreathed in heat as he recognizes the nervous tension curling the corners of Arum's mouth. Trust-

Of course it is rather a large choice, to press a blade into the hands of a monster, to close his eyes and bare his throat and simply trust.

It is as large a choice as a monster tossing his own blades aside into the mud, hoping that the human in front of him will choose to stay.

"Rilla can show you," Damien says, keeping his volume low so as to prevent his voice from shaking. "I have seen your clever fingers work, Lord Arum. I know that you are more than capable of the task, if you would be so kind as to offer your assistance."

He glances towards Rilla, and she flashes a warm sort of grin in agreement and nods quickly. "You can just watch, if you're really, actually not comfortable. I know I can be pushy, but Damien's right. I wouldn't want to-"

"If- if you think that I..." Arum trails off, then exhales a vague hiss. "If you- trust that I can. That I won't- won't..."

"I trust that I can teach you what to do," Rilla says with a shrug and a smirk, but her eyes are fond and warm as Arum gives her a look that Damien would describe as a pout.

"I trust you," Damien offers, smiling very slightly and lifting a hand to brush his fingers down the scales of Arum's forearm. "I know you'll be careful."

"I have cut you before, honeysuckle," Arum reminds, his voice soft enough that Damien cannot quite pluck out the feeling beneath the words.

Damien smiles, curling his fingers around Arum's wrist and drawing it closer. "Once," he says, his voice quite low. "Only once, and I know that you would never willingly do so again."

Arum's eyes flick between his own, vivid and soft, and then he exhales with a hesitant sort of smile, his chest rumbling with that low, inhuman purr that Damien is growing very quickly to adore.

"Ridiculous," Arum murmurs, unconvincing and fond, and then he sighs and raises his eyes towards Rilla again. "Very well. Show me, then."

Rilla grins again, something of the fox in the curve of it, and she guides Arum's hands to gently angle Damien's head.

She instructs him firmly and carefully, her hand curled around his own scaled one and guiding for the first few strokes, showing the lizard the proper way to hold the blade, the correct angle, the slow downward stroke, and Damien-

Both of their attention so keen upon him feels like too much altogether, the intensity of their eyes making his heart hammer fast in his chest, and after the first stroke of the razor he allows his eyes to slip closed. Rilla's fingers tilt his face gently where she needs, and then Arum's cooler, more delicate touch supplements her own intermittently.

Rilla guides Arum more directly to outline the shape of Damien's goatee, and then again when they tilt his head back to draw the razor down beneath his jaw, her low monologue of instruction both methodical and gentle. Arum, for his part, remains mostly silent with the exception of small noises of acknowledgment, accompanied beneath by his subtle rumbling purr as his uncertainty fades.

Damien blinks his eyes open when Rilla maneuvers him forward to rinse his face after the first pass, and then she shows Arum how to lather him for the second, meticulously explaining each step as they go.

Damien watches Arum's face this time, utterly enthralled by the depth of the focus readily apparent in his expression as he draws the blade so utterly careful against Damien's skin.

Arum only notices his gaze just as he is about to finish, and the monster exhales with a worried flick of the tongue before he glances towards Rilla, a silent inquiry that makes her smirk, and then she reaches to grip his wrist again to help him with the finishing touches.

Arum leans him forward this time to rinse his face ("Cold water for this one," Rilla chirps helpfully), and then Rilla gently pats the balm into his cheeks, leaning close enough to place a playful kiss on the tip of his nose, making both himself and Arum laugh in tandem.

Arum helps him to his feet, then, and he reaches up carefully, ghosting his hands over Damien's newly bare cheeks without quite touching him, his expression utterly focused, utterly enraptured.

"There you are, honeysuckle," Arum murmurs, and then he brushes his thumb gently down the stripe of hair left on Damien's chin. He repeats the motion with a subtle smile, and this time Damien kisses the pad of his thumb, and the monster exhales in surprise. "Ah-"

"Thank you for the assistance, Lord Arum," Damien whispers against Arum's scales, and the lizard flicks his tongue before he slips his hand further up, cupping Damien's cheek properly.

"Yeah, no kidding," Rilla says with a grin, clearly enjoying the way that Arum's frill flares with his embarrassment. "Thankyou."

Arum wrinkles his snout, but his expression softens again when Damien lifts a hand to cradle Arum's own against his cheek. "I... yes, I- I suppose it wasn't all that difficult, after all. With proper instruction."

"Told you," Rilla chimes, still smiling, and then she leans to press a tender sort of kiss to Damien's other cheek, humming lightly.

"And... you didn't mind, honeysuckle?"

"Mind?" Damien repeats, and Arum ducks his head, his frill fluttering again.

"Rather- it doesn't- it isn't a bother to have me- to have us-"

Damien laughs helplessly, utterly baffled that Arum might think he would find his and Rilla's assistance a bother, and then he pulls Arum's hand down, so he can cradle it in both of his own and press it over his heart instead.

"Oh," he says, trying to sound less breathless than he feels. "You- oh, Arum-"

Arum makes another flustered noise, glancing away with the folds of his frill flushing a darker purple. "Honeysuckle-"

"My only concern is how completely overwhelmed I feel to have the attention and hands of yourself and Rilla both so intently upon me, all while I cannot even speak my heart for fear of impeding your delicate care, my darling monster, oh-"

Rilla laughs fondly at his rambling, and Arum blinks for a moment before his frill settles again, his expression going pleased and embarrassed both.

"Well..." he says slowly, and then he presses his palm more firmly over Damien's heart. "That explains this racing, here, I suppose, if our attention... overwhelms you. I was concerned that you- that you- were afraid I would- cut you."

Rilla snorts incredulously as Damien exhales a pained noise, and then he leans forward, still holding Arum's hand to his chest as he presses his face into Arum's neck.

"Oh-" he feels his throat going tight, and he shakes his head lightly against Arum's scales to fight the feeling back. "Rilla is right, you are completely absurd, Arum- I-"

"We trust you, Arum." She folds her arms over her chest, giving Arum a fond, exasperated smile. "I thought that was pretty obvious by now? Saints but you're dense sometimes. I know you trust us, or we wouldn't be here in the Keep, so why wouldn't it be mutual?"

Arum growls, glaring at Rilla over Damien's head, and then he sighs, lowering his face so he may press his own cheek against Damien's, flicking his tongue out beside his ear before he murmurs. "Old habits, I suppose. It is... hard to believe my good fortune, at times, with the pair of you."

Damien tilts his head to the side, kissing Arum's jaw, and then his cheek when the lizard exhales a pleased little breath.

"Well," Rilla says warmly, "maybe you'll be used to it by the next time Damien needs help shaving, yeah?"

Arum raises his head again with a laugh, and Damien feels Rilla's hand drift down his back as she leans to kiss Arum over his shoulder.

Arum lifts his hands to Damien's face, then, tilting his chin up so he may grace Damien with a kiss as well, the thin scaled line of his mouth pressing against Damien's lips with delicate care before he meets Damien's eyes with an affectionate smile.

And with Arum's cool palms cupping his tender cheeks, with Rilla's warm hand on the small of his back, Damien knows with utter certainty that he has entrusted his heart to the most worthy care in the world.

End Notes: bless wikihow articles i have never shaved a face in my goddamn life, let alone with a straight razor

#elle's fanfic #the penumbra podcast #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #sir damien #amaryllis of exile #lord arum #pblease enjoy i actually kinda like this one aaaa

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team-americassaboteur · 3 years

Text

I promised Id do this, heres quick first thoughts

this is based on the cbs writeups, not on anything that has been recorded. its also not based on any reveals the tag has made, im not taking that into consideration as this isnt me deciding who to root for. because im not officially picking anyone yet. this will be 90% strategy, 10% "are they annoying"

Azah has a pretty solid strategy. I think if she can get a small loyal group together she could make it far. my big worry is the usual tbqh, that she will be targeted early because shes genuinely considering her own game. also thank you for the no showmances.

Christian annoys the fuck out of me already. i dont mind a sort of floater/rat strategy, but the way he answered makes me feel like hes making excuses already for not doing anything. i just....dont trust anyone who starts a strategy conversation with "I am a joy".

Hannah's answer is long and i dig it? i initially only got the first paragraph and wanted to write her off, but reading the whole thing...i think i could see myself doing something similar, so i like it a lot. I support tactful blood bathing.

Brent has a similar issue to christian. I dont HATE him, but it feels like hes going in with overconfidence. Overdoing it with proving you have charm buddy, and since thats your strategy i dont have much else to say....

Britini seems excited, which is cool. but it doesnt sound like she has a solid strategy other than "win comps, say im making moves" which...fine. im hoping its more of an "assess once we get in there" thing.

Derek F is smart in getting to know people personally. a personal connection makes it harder to vote someone out, so i have a lot more confidence in his confidence than other houseguests.

Frenchie....ok before we get into strategy, who the fuck describes themselves as supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. who describes themselves as a nonsense word. already hate him for that. but beyond that, im glad he acknowledges that setting a strategy wouldnt benefit him right away. what does a farmer have to do with that? idk, but i hope he isnt horrible. glad he doesnt want to get famous, like i genuinely like when people make that point.

Travis kinda goes between Brent and Derek F for me. like his confidence doesnt feel forced, but it does feel overexplained. It sounds like the pranks might be part of strategy if hes putting the blame on other people, so as long as they arent annoying im ok with him.

Alyssa seems to want a well rounded game, but she feels like shes going to do a big group sort of thing. and i dont like that as a viewer. i worry that she would get lost in that group once the house gets more empty, so i guess we will see how that turns out. I dont get wanting first hoh or wanting to be like tyler, but i guess you do you.

Tiffany's strategy is short, sweet, and to the point. i dont have much to go on, but ngl her willingness to try slop could weirdly help her? theres almost nothing in the small sample of her bio, unlike the others i actually read the full one and i didnt get much more. im gonna pretend i didnt see her fave duo.

Xavier seems enthusiastic. smart to not want to win comps unless necessary, smart to not play personal. beyond that i dont have any strong thoughts

Claire is a fan and i love that. sounds like she knows what to say to excite other fans, the important strategy points to make the game better. i just hope she can actually deliver on these, that it doesnt backfire on anyone. also please cause disruptions, thats entertainment and can be strategic.

Sarah, if i remember, is the weeb people were talking about. which....love that, love seeing people who have similar interests to me in the game. but also im glad shes upfront and says the word "float". we know its not accidental, so i can respect it a lot more.

Whitney is pretty alright. i like that she wants to start strong, and that she doesnt have extreme details for a strategy, but i dont know what i think. Derek X could go either way. He looks like he could be fun, i genuinely hope he doesnt get lost in the crowd and eliminated early. His strategy is primarily social, but like in a more influential way and i hope he manages that tbqh.

Kyland seems prepared and enthusiastic, which is good. the specific references to different players strategies makes me more confident in him than others, like some people vaguely referenced another player, dropped a name, or mentioned them as a favorite, but hes pulling out specifics. my main worry is that he will play too hard too fast. or that he wont be able to deliver this (same worry as claire)

Overall im tired of seeing derrick and cody referenced in peoples bio but at the same time thats what cbs wants, so its what we get. and it makes sense, since they are part of the more modern game. as much as i love old school BB it makes sense to consider strategy from more recent stuff since you are more likely to experience those sorts of situations. being prepared is more important than getting old school points if you want to win. but gods i hate derrick and cody.

#bb23 #first thoughts #shout out to me getting this up 10 min before premiere gods im a mess

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goblins-riddles-or-frocks · 4 months

Note

Yeah I don't think Cardan and Darkling are similar he'd be more of a Madoc or one of those Princes. Btw can you tell what didn't you like about Jude's treatment in the books? I would love to hear your thoughts about that.

Basically I think she’s always held back and humiliated by the narrative? The way she’s treated often doesn’t make sense with her position in universe and the higher status she obtains (senechal then queen) the more obvious it is that the narrative just refuses to let her have any dignity.

I’m struggling to organize my thoughts because I just have so many criticisms of this series. I enjoyed but that also makes me more disappointed with it when it flounders?

Like more general thoughts, I think the first book simply starts out poorly. The contemporary high school vibe to the interpersonal drama is an ill fitting one. Also the way Jude and Taryn are bullied doesn’t feel grounded in their lives and like faerie culture beyond just… looking like school yard bullying for the sake of plot. (Ironically I am fine with the high school vibes in TGT despite it being equally/more incongruous in-universe, but it serves a thematic function, so I can accept it)

Why is faerie high school a thing? Why are Jude and Taryn treated so openly poorly by anyone and everyone despite Madoc also being a fairly feared figure. There doesn’t seem to be a point where the bullying started more subtly and then grew when it became clear word wouldn’t get to Madoc/there’d be no retaliation. It just starts out feeling kind of flimsy.

(My proposed very simple fix would be to have no faerie high school and instead Cardan and his posse of important fae kids are being tutored privately and Jude and Taryn are included as a personal favor to Madoc. Which is something Cardan would take immense offense to!! Also a sort of bullying that just has more deniability than kicking dirt in their food. Like all smiles while also doing terrible shit)

Anyway past that point the first book is like. fine. If I had my way it would be longer, hingeing on some sort of plot the Court of Shadows foils. And the coup would be the sequel? To just give Jude more time to bond with them? And maybe get better at spying lol but that’s also baseline just an author failing.

Despite it feeling too early to me, I do really like how the coup goes down. And how Jude ends up out scheming everyone to put herself in power. The ending holds a lot of promise! The second book just doesn’t deliver though.

When it opens they’re like six months into the year long bargain. But there’s no implication of how that time has passed or that any of the relationships have undergone real development. Jude is supposedly seneschal and has basically styled herself as spymaster but she’s bullied in the exact. same. way.

If the main trajectory of this book is supposed to be her white knuckle clinging to her ill gained power before everything crumbles because she’s been going at it alone and refusing to lean on anyone— but she never actually achieves that high. And it feels uniquely gendered to me tbqh! Like I’m sorry a male protagonist in most other books given institutional power would be allowed to actually use that power and be afforded respect-through-fear if not genuine respect. But Jude keeps facing humiliation after humiliation.

The third act hinges on her kidnapping and being stripped of power. But like… where was that power to begin with? I didn’t really see it! It also doesn’t help that she’s uniquely terrible at statecraft. All her mistakes are just miserably obvious (not throwing out the magic blacksmith or whatever, not realizing the undersea would go for Balekin, traveling completely alone as a much disliked person so Locke’s crew could attack her) but I do think that’s more of a Holly Black issue than a Jude issue.

Then Queen of Nothing completely sidelines her in every possible sense. To the point where her personal story about her family, about her mother, are basically no longer relevant. The first two thirds are just completely focused on Cardan and speed running their relationship (that hasn’t had any real forward development since… the very first book? it’s just a constant rehashing of “does he…like like me 🥺” every single book omg) and then post snake transformation the plot is just a mess lol. Also I found the way the Madoc plotline resolved completely ridiculous. Yeah sure they’re all going to happily live in the human world. Totally.

I did leave a more detailed review of the third book on Goodreads and I basically stand by it!

#I want a madoc and oriana book so bad #that household seems so toxic but fascinating #tfota #book talk #i ramble sometimes #all the bendy punctuations #a mysterious stranger has appeared

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incarnateirony · 4 years

Text

Hey @ stupidpass11111111 got your submission:

I love your analytics and I’m digging it, frantically, LoL

I want to ask, about the thought process and psychology about Dean and Cas’s relationship has been broken since 14x18.

I know it’s very natural, but I need the subtext to explain everything. If someone did, please give me all their post links. I do not hesitate to read articles on 20 pages. Thank you.

First of all, and this is no big deal, ask and submission box are a little different. I don’t mind that you used this one, I just made sure to tag you because I don’t know if submission posts let you know they’ve been answered. Submissions let people send me things like pictures or their own mini-metas if they’re not the kind to typically do it on their own wall, or screenshots or whatever. Rarely used but has been useful a few times.

Either way!!

It really depends what you’re after. When it comes to subtext, if you mean generally, one of the key posts I tend to send people towards is This One Right Here.

I have a feeling though you are more interested in my theosophy/gnostic/hermetic stuff since I saw a vague frenzy of likes along that vine, starting at older ones, last night. So let me see what I can suggest.

First of all, in general, keep in mind to search my blog for “#pagan life” or “#amaah”, amaah is “as me anything about hermeticism”, and is where I’ve thrown a bunch of really good questions people asked to help connect the dots between my other stuff.

If you want a very specific path to follow though, there’s a few things to keep in mind.

GENERAL PATHWORK: Ones that are like high-key necessary to understand what the fuck I’m talking about.

#1: Read my “heaven meta” – Probably start here, I find that the way I wrote it really successfully broke several people’s brains in the good way. Once you reach the end, try to, frankly, readjust the paradigm you’re witnessing the show in. It’s all about the souls. The earth orbits the soul, not the other way around.

#2: Read my “Death” post – this isn’t perhaps the best *linear order*, but it is another good one to test the boxes you’re thinking inside of. I’m going to be trying to peel false dichotomies out of your head.

#3: Answering some Questions I Got – this, along with the previous two, may really help fill in any remaining blanks. It’s one part of the #amaah tag, but does pertain very closely to the last two links so if anything was rattling around in there confused it may help nail it down a bit.

#4: an old masterpost I made right around when this last hiatus hit. It has some episode commentary that may make more sense now that the last three posts have helped turn your brain into soup. This lacks all of my expanding meta over the break, but shuffles in some details as old as a few years ago.

#5: If my talk on colors has confused you at all, check out This Reblog by @winchestersingerautorepair. The hues of involution in heavy play this year are about the journey of the soul and our self improvement and mastery.

#6: If that one doesn’t QUITE seem to click it in, try This Amaah Post. The Winchesters aren’t chasing literal gold. They’re seeking something far more important than that. Their truest selves, and their greatest interpersonal arrangements, all at once.

#7: Season 14 post to highlight the layers of self. Shadow, Animus, Anima, Magician/God.

Once you can see it all as an adventure of the mastery of the human soul and everything else being commentary, the rest clicks in. Check out the tags I referenced and most of all, if you’re someone I can see just genuinely trying to enjoy and understand this, feel free to DM me and ask for a link to the discord server, there’s like 35 of us in there and everyone’s at different understanding levels on this stuff, but everyone’s eager to help out or just chat about it.

Ultimately if you take a very long voyage through the #pagan life tag, after reading those, you’ll find the talk of the reclamation of their gold, and the two alchemical marriage ceremonies so far on their path back together, the most recent being the famous Rectification or Marriage of the Mind visible in 15.13 representative of the Art arcana the Occultum comes from, but not really fully manifest as much as illustrated; it was more manifest with the cancelled 15.09 one of the Mark represented in the Lovers arcana. More to come, promise.

I should also add, you’ll be hard pressed to find meta that is explicitly only-Destiel. Destiel comes up a LOT in it because it’s a fundamental and frankly forward leading part on the mythos and A-plot right now, but a lot of this WILL venture through other interpersonal journeys, like Sam as the hermit, or integrations with other people in their lives. Basically, Dabb shoved all this Destiel in my mythos soup so it’s all over in there but I write more from a cosmogenics level and Destiel just keeps breaking down the door.

People generally won’t grok the importance of Dean and Castiel’s paths until they start grasping the philosophy involved, and one can not skip that and just jump to the other, not while really getting it. So, I know you asked for Destiel meta, and I promise it’s up in there, but you’re going to have to start at cosmogeny first and work your way through to understand how our endgames are being structured. As you slowly turn your brain into alchemical soup, posts like this will start making sense to you and make you realize how you can forecast the upcoming episodes like this post did. (x)

There really is no jumping right to some gay subtext post on my blog, tbqh. The text itself is irrevocably interwoven on itself, at all levels, text and subtext both. This isn’t some queer pairing hidden below 16 levels of subtext that float distantly and at best in the shadow of a plot anymore, the interpersonal relationship is one of the cardinal parts of the mytharc itself and if one is going to address it, one needs to understand and respect its’ bearing on the complete body of the text and the plot itself rather than marginalizing it. Destiel currently can not be analyzed properly without assessing the A plot mytharc and the A plot mytharc can not be analyzed or projected properly without assessing the structure of Destiel within the full body of text.

The associated plot base Dabb uses quite literally makes the journeys of the characters both through themselves and through each other the actual mytharc, don’t get it twisted. Any and all posts I make will show that the soul as the core of it, and its journey to completion, is the actual point of all of this. The bungling demiurge needling them from the outside is just a catalyst.

I also highly urge you to check out the blogs of at least @winchestersingerautorepair and @curioussubjects as they are the two I have conversed with the most at length about this that understand the fundaments, but there’s a few dozen other blogs in my orbit that are starting to really break down and understand these things like @heliodean and @dotthings to name a few.

#supernatural #spn #pagan life #amaah #submission #menu post #masterposts #alchemy notes #mytharc

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harrystylinslut · 3 years

Text

my live in time review of Emerald Fennell’s ‘Promising Young Woman’ (2020)

Promising Young Woman

Dir Emerald Fennell

So hello friends welcome to my reviews. I type my pure, unfiltered (mostly) thoughts about movies. I call it ‘chey watches films’ and I promise it’s going to stop being so serious.

My first film I decided to do this on is Promising Young Woman since it was a hit at this past Sunday’s Oscars. Which was amazing - btw. So, of course. Spoilers ahead. These were my thoughts as they happened knowing nothing about the story because I don’t watch trailers on purpose.

“Boys by charli xcx are you fucking kidding me”

“20 seconds in and i already need fucking help this is so funny”

“This club scene im screaming” ~internally~

“This looks like a blast honestly god I miss clubs”

“Her bangs are so cute” - me abt cassie

“This lighting is so fucking sexy”

“Oh my god YES drunk car rides are the fucking worst”

“Wait is she just acting lol”

“Omg he’s gonna roofie her”

“The way she’s not kissing back has me crying” - was actually cry laughing a lil bit

TW: bedroom scene ewie

“WAIT QUEEN I LOVE HER”

“Omg she’s so hot”

“It’s raining men omg lmao”

“I’m crying at this movie I hate them” - term of endearment

“I want to marry Bo’s character” - sorta

“Not him being a foot taller than her”

“Laverne Cox is adorable and needs to wear a gold septum always”

“Luv cassie so much and the Make Me Coffee Shop” - very interesting name for a coffee shop

“That waist yes gawd” - showing her braid

“YAY IT’S BO - oh my god I love that shirt”

“Oh my god they even know each other that’s so cute”

“Interesting choice of name for Bo’s character”

“That flirting style…. I love it. Sorta enemies to loving yep” so endearing

“NOT HIM DRINKING THE COFFEE WITH SPIT IN IT LMAOOOOO FUCK”

“She’s a fucking clown I love her”

“I love this actor” - about the coke scene

“Oh my god jesus fuck he is so cringe”

“Not shoving drugs in her mouth jesus”

“LMAO HIS NAME IS NEIL THIS IS SOOO STUPID NOT THE KISS….NEIL IS AWFUL”

“She’s so intimidating I love it”

“Oh my god this is ME”

“Cassie is so hot”

“Stealin hearts n never saying sorry”

“Ohhh this thunder is very cool”

“The guitar fuck no”

“Not her forgetting her 30th birthday omg”

“Jesus her Mom is annoying”

“Ryan is so hot omg”

“Whew he looks so good”

“Im laughing so hard Bo Burnham is such a talented actor”

“I love this actress ((Carey)) so much”

“Would have been a great doctor she just didnt want it bad enough ,, very relatable”

“Not him saying she looks like his daughter omg but like she can wear some badass heels and not be taller than him thats kinda hot though”

“Oh my god not sex on the counter JESUS SHE IS BOLD”

“She called him lover boy lmao”

“I hate it I hate it I hate that people dont understand people can be triggered by school I hate that kids even have to go through that”

“Omg the social media stalking that’s so funny”

“Ew yeah… I hate seeing awful people happy”

“This seems shady”

“Omg yes bitches get drunk”

“Lmao thats right feel BAD”

“Not her saying they want a good girl shut up stop being pretentious”

“People dont just forget that those things happen and it’s so shitty she’s just passing it off OMG GGGGG I HATE it”

“Yep she social media stalks everyone and it sucks seeing so many awful people being happy and not being served proper justice”

“Knew it knew what Alexander had done - they allude to it very well”

“Yep drunk at a party”

“The dean didnt take it seriously at all and passed it off as just some little mistake because she was drunk. People dont just shut up. Yes fuck his life up he deserves jail time - that’s so shitty oh my god”

“There can be a different fucking system we can protect people”

“This is a female Deadpool I fucks with it”

“Oh my god Cassie is CRAZY also is the receptionist in on it LMAO”

“Why do they not have a case file? Did they not file a report with the police? What the entire loving fuck why does no one remember anything about this?”

“This is beautifully filmed”

“Awe Ryan is being v sweet”

“Oh my god shes playing her game again WHHHY”

“Ryan is so protective omg that’s lowkey hot though”

“She’s so hot”

“I love this scene”

III

“Omg not his day of reckoning jesus”

“People have been trying to get him arrested for years jesus”

“Oh my god cops are so fucking corrupt this is so gross”

“I love how genuine he is I cant imagine cops that have had to go through that”

“Lmao I can relate to Nina so much I did so much shit to stand up for people I’m a professional hype man tbqh”

“Jesus I wouldnt just fucking move on either”

“Awe omg Ryan is there for her I love him”

“Oh my god they are so adorable my heart breaks for her so much”

“I wanna dance with Bo wtf”

“THE KISS AHHHH WTF”

“Come and fuck my life up PLEASE”

“Oh my god why am I crying lol”

“This family is wild lmao”

“He’s so freaking sweet”

“Love how Cassie isnt actually crazy people just truly are awful”

“Oh my god them flirting they are so freaking adorable I cant do this”

“THERE IS EVIDENCE WHY IS EVERYONE BEING THIS WAY”

“It sucks so fucking much”

“God everyone was so drunk though you cant watch though you need to help”

“I truly think people dont realize how serious it is Im glad this movie will help that”

IIII

“Um loving this orchestra version of Toxic”

“NOT MAX GREENFIELD LMAO”

“Her posing as a stripper so true”

“Hell no yes go girl bully these men”

It got very serious and uncomfortable so I skipped to the part where Max Greenfield’s character enters the room.

“This reminds me of the Bo Dukes story”

“That’s really how it was - it’s so funny to watch these investigations how awful they are”

“You can just tell he’s lying just tell the truth plEATHE”

“God he loved her so much this hurts”

IIIII

“Max running away oh my god bitch where u going”

“I hope Ryan isnt turned in I dont think she would do that”

“YES ARREST HIS ASS”

“The necklaces Im cryin”

WHEW 100/10 I really loved that movie a lot !!!

ANYWAYS. I will write a more comprehensive review for the blog I wanna start or my podcast - but here it is!

#chey watches filmes #promising young woman #oscars #OSCAR WINNING ACTYALLY #emerald fennell #margot robbie #carey mulligan #alison brie #jennifer coolidge #oscars 2021 #film #cinema #liveblog #bo burnham #the only man to exist #ever #focus features #sundance film festival

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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April 3: 2x13 Obsession

Okay, trying this again! My live-blog thoughts from watching Obsession last night. I didn’t remember this ep very well, and I was a little uncertain about it going in. But ultimately I think it was a really solid Kirk episode and a really solid triumvirate episode.

How many times as hard as rock is this mineral you’re looking for? Let’s be precise. (Aka how Spock flirts.)

I’m really into the sets and special effects today. This big rock that is obviously Styrofoam. The ominous cloud of smoke.

Set phasers to disrupter-b? I feel like he just made that up.

Oh no, three red shirts set out on their own! I feel like this one is pretty smart, though.

Leslie!!! RIP my favorite extra.

“Something that can’t possibly exist… but does anyway.” That’s it, that’s the show.

Well Kirk’s obsession is obvious right away. That’s good. We’re getting right to the point.

They have to meet up with another ship in order to transport perishable vaccines!! I know from first-hand experience that that is very important! Get it together Kirk. Admitting straight out, “I’m okay with some other people dying so I can further investigate the monster” is not a good look on him.

Also I feel like TOS often confuses “cure” and “vaccine” (as in Miri) but even if these are actually vaccines, they could still save lives urgently!

McCoy’s autopsy report: uh, just look at their faces??

The Yorktown, the Farragut… someone on the AOS team loved this episode apparently. (I remembered that the Farragut was Kirk’s first assignment but I did not remember the Yorktown.)

Interesting that the creature smells of honey because “rotting honey” was the smell that indicated the presence of Area X in the Southern Reach.

Some gratuitous touching.

When Garrovick Jr. first showed up, the shot was so ominous and dramatic that I legitimately thought that the creature was a shape-shifter and that was him lol.

Is this another episode where Kirk sees himself in a promising young man and then proceeds to judge him incredibly harshly as a way of judging his own past self? I think it might be!

Garrovick looks like he’s sitting in front of a green screen during this interrogation. Honestly, the colors in this episode are really going off in general! I can see how this would be fun to watch on a new color tv.

“Go to your room! You’re grounded!”

“Put it in your report, Spock!” I really wish we’d seen AOS Kirk do that. Like, fighting with reports and regulations is one of my favorite parts of TOS but we only saw AOS Spock use that as a weapon and it was made to show what a stick in the mud he was but like… they all do it! And AOS Kirk should have too.

And now a scene where Spock and McCoy gossip about Spock’s boyfriend.

I honestly love McCoy and Spock scenes. They have such a great rapport… the respect is not even grudging, it’s clearly there, but they make it more palatable to themselves by adding in some barbs and little digs at each other. But it’s still McCoy that Spock goes to when he needs advice or even, as he says here, just someone to bounce an idea off of, and McCoy is there to listen to him.

Oh, Spock definitely understands obsession.

Kirk’s quarters are looking very purple today.

Mccoy is trying to wax poetic and Kirk just wants him to get to the point.

Time to lie down in an Emo Fashion again.

Not to be nitpicky, but if the creature killed 200 people on the Farragut, and that was half the crew… wouldn’t the Farragut be a lot bigger than the Enterprise? I don’t think that’s right. Also, not to be even more nitpicky, but how did they finally get away from it? Did it get on their ship? If it killed all the people on the surface, could they not have just… stopped hanging out on the surface?

Anyway. McCoy is such a good best friend.

Garrovick was Kirk’s Pike.

Oh no, bringing in the big guns: the boyfriend. A blue shirt conspiracy.

Spock sounds like he’s in one of those HR training videos. Like, he’s attempting to sound conversational while still blatantly quoting from the Starfleet Handbook.

“Why are we delayin’ here?” Heavy Southern drawl.

They really are ganging up on him.

Intuition is a command prerogative.

I love how Bones says “We’re not ganging up on you” after a long scene where they gang up on him.

Oh no, the creature’s on the move! Just straight up floating through space. Cool cool cool.

Kirk’s so distracted by the creature that he’s not even looking at Spock’s ass.

Another bad day for Scotty.

I like Chapel but honestly, imagine Rand in this scene with Garrovick… I miss her.

Garrovick, what an idiot. Throwing shit and hitting switches across the room.

I legit don’t understand how the creature moves in space. Or what this has to do with gravity… which doesn’t exist in space.

Monster hunt, monster hunt!

Spock is agreeing with Kirk now, about the creature’s intelligence.

Whatever is going on with the vents in this ship, it seems like maybe they’re not the most well made.

“Let’s just nuke it.” That’s always a good idea.

Spock is trying so hard to make Kirk feel better. Even calling him “Jim”—which he used to do almost every episode and now rarely does anymore.

Lol, now he’s off to try the exact same thing with Garrovick. “If Jim won’t let me comfort him, perhaps this other irrational human will.”

“Garrovick, let me explain your own thoughts and feelings to you. I’m an expert on humans, you know. I’m around them all the time.”

“I know you want to be emo, but could you please just listen to me??” The absolute transparency with which he’s trying to be helpful.

Kindness actually isn’t an emotion… it’s a choice. Spock really will call anything a human emotion in order to avoid having to deal with it.

I'm sorry but he SNAPS THE KNOB OFF, goes "eh," throws it away, and then tries to stop the gas coming through the vent with his HANDS? How did Sarek raise this boy?

Garrovick is so Dramatic. A true Kirk protégé.

The creature tried to eat Spock and Spock didn’t taste so good.

"I'm asking for your military appraisal of the techniques used against the creature." Professor Kirk coming out.

Poor creature was lost, I guess. Just wants to go home.

And SPAWN. That word just gives me flashbacks tbqh…

Kirk and Spock having their usual ‘who will sacrifice himself first’ – off.

Realistically it should be neither the XO NOR the Captain but this is a tv show.

I do remember this part. Carrying that weird little device down to the planet. It is very aesthetically pleasing. I kind of want it for my apartment, to display as like a modern art sculpture. Minus the bomb

Mmm, a delicious snack for the creature. Yum. Got that gross green blood taste out of its mouth.

LMAO at Garrovick trying to be all heroic, knock Kirk out, and become the sacrifice. You thought!!

Spock and Scotty at the controls so you know how serious the transporter situation is.

McCoy versus the transporter again.

"It was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them." Yes, Spock saved his space husband, he saved the day, and we should all acknowledge it.

Aw, that’s sweet, Kirk volunteering to reminisce with Garrovick about his father.

The end! I ended up enjoying it a lot overall. We gotta stop having episodes where Kirk is questioned or learns lessons though lol. I want my unabashedly heroic captain! Still no matter what he is always a hero in the end. And as I said, really great triumvirate ep with good individual characterizations, and scenes with each part of the triangle together.

If the Farragut incident was 11 years before this, and, as established in the last ep, Kirk is 34, that means he was 23 at the time. Pretty young to be a lieutenant imo. He was also a lieutenant at the time he was teaching Gary Mitchell at the Academy, which I’m going to personally headcanon, starting now, was right after Garrovick’s death. He returns to San Francisco, takes a year or a semester off to teach, and meets Gary.

Next up is Wolf in the Fold, a rare Scotty-centric episode.

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #2021: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

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