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inkabelledesigns · 3 months

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I know I'm posting a day late here, but Happy Birthday Bendy! February 10th, 2024 marks the 7 year anniversary of when Bendy and the Ink Machine came out. And boy, has it been a wild ride. Normally I would reserve this for my Bendy sideblog, @angelofthepage , but I'm posting it here because this is where I started years ago, and I want some of those people who don't see that blog to have a chance to see this. Because you guys are a part of this story.

In about three months, seven years ago, I was in finals hell, working through my process book for my packaging design class in one of the dorm lounges while my roommate had taken the room for herself again. And the only thing keeping me sane was putting Can't Be Erased and Build Our Machine on loop as I worked. BATIM only had two chapters out, and I didn't know everything about it, but I was so intrigued by what its deal was. I took one look at Sammy Lawrence and I wanted to know everything about him. Something about this barely started game, the idea of your characters coming to life to kill you, it thrilled me, intrigued me. It was something I was really afraid of, being so attached to my characters and putting so much of my identity in my art. And while the story isn't really all that much about cartoons themselves being alive, it gave me something else that ended up changing my life.

Over that summer, I would become obsessed, and for the first time in years, I let myself be a fangirl again. And maybe one day I'll pull up the timeline and tell you how it all went down. But right now, after all the celebrating of yesterday, I just wanna take a moment to appreciate the last seven years. All the people I've met, all the friends I've made. All the experiences we've had together, big and small. Some have been incredibly close, and others have been people I still smile about whenever I see them on my feed, even if we're not all doing stuff in the same fandom anymore. There's some people I've fallen out of touch with that I likely won't ever see again that I miss. There's some I'll be lucky if I never see again. There's the official voice actors for Dark Revival, which I've had the pleasure of working with on community things here in the fandom. I regularly moderate their livestreams (or Lovestreams as we call them) where they sign prints and interact with us fans (and sometimes I'm tech support, once an ink machine technician, always an ink machine technician xD). I'm honored to call a lot of them my friends, we've had some truly wonderful conversations. I've spent a lot of time in a variety of servers, trying to uplift people and make for a positive fandom experience for everyone, fans old and new. Sometimes it lands me in interesting places, like helping out over on the Inky News channel. The host, Brandon, invited me over to guest star on his anniversary stream yesterday, and in the past I've been fortunate enough to showcase my art on two of his interviews, one with Dave Rivas and one with Adrienne Kress. Sometimes it lands me on fun projects, like working on a fan game, and for the first time it's not as a voice actor! I'm a writer. I've had my work uplifted in turn too, meeting people who value me for me and also cheer me on when I try new things (sometimes entirely new mediums like doll customizing). I got my first helpful constructive critique in this fandom, and it was something I ASKED for. That is a huge personal milestone! I have a really complex and twisty set of feelings about critique, and finally, I feel better, because someone helped me start to unravel that just by being themselves and being thoughtful. It's inspired me to want to be better in how I handle critique and problem solving with others.

I spent so much of my life putting my self worth in other people's hands. I thought I would never be good enough to have friends who didn't treat me like garbage. I thought I'd never be a good artist in any sense of the word either. But I was wrong. I've grown. I'm valued, I'm wanted. I don't have to hide parts of myself to be desirable. Sometimes being the silly, goofy, fangirl that is Kat is enough. My art is enough, my ideas are enough, my flavor is tasty, and I am a goddamn treat. And after so many years of not knowing that, I'm glad I finally do. And it's all because of the people. It wasn't ever that my flavor was bad, it's that I hadn't found people with a taste for it yet. Bendy's greatest gift was giving me a fresh start, a chance to meet new people, good people, and for that, I'm forever grateful. Even though things have changed, I'm glad I met each and every one of you, you all taught me something valuable along the way, and I think about those experiences we shared often.

I won't lie to you, I've been rather frustrated with Bendy lately. And I think a lot of it has to do with the games not truly having grown with me. At some point our paths deviated, and there are elements of what's come and what's coming that are getting away from what really enticed me about the very first entry, the things I valued most in it. But in some ways, analyzing that has led me to figure out what made that first game so special. It was human. It was a character focused game, and each of the characters, while vague, gave us just enough about themselves that we could feel for them, get invested, imagine, maybe even sympathize. Everyone is a tragedy, but they're all different flavors of tragedy. And it was seeing people explore that, seeing people write these characters in ways that were so human, that really built a connection. For some people, Bendy is another indie horror experience. For others, it's something to indulge in that hits hard on a personal level. In many ways, it attracts a lot of us who feel like misfits. It's many things. But to me, the magic was in the people. The people in this universe, and the people in its real world community.

It has solidified my belief that people should play with fiction however they want, no matter how far it deviates from the canon, no matter how weird it is. Go be interpretive, go tell your story, go be free to make what speaks to you! (All I ask is that you're thoughtful about tagging it so people can make smart choices about engaging with it.) All stories are worth telling. Even if no one gets into it, having told it makes a difference.

Whether you're someone who's been there from the beginning, or someone that's new to Bendy, I hope you're all having fun. Whether you've finished exploring the world or you've just begun, I hope you've found something valuable. Thank you, for coming along for the ride. Here's to many more fun experiences and stories, be they official or be they in the fandom. Happy Bendyversary!

#long post #bendy and the ink machine #batim #bendyversary #personal thoughts #bendy

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flickynightdarkness · 1 year

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My Full Comfort Characters List

Oggy, Olivia (Oggy & The Cockroaches)

SpongeBob, Sandy Cheeks, Gary The Snail, Patrick Star (SpongeBob SquarePants)

Hello Kitty, My Melody, Cinnamoroll (Sanrio)

Little Miss Sunshine, Little Miss Shy (Little Miss)

Mr Quiet, Little Miss Giggles (Mr Men Show)

CookieSwirlC, Jaiden Animations, Dawko, Rageminer, REU Music Channel (YouTubers)

Chudd Chudders & DangerGrid Of Doom (Skatoony)

Jigglypuff, Eevee, Darkrai, Alice, Alicia, Iris, Sylveon (Pokémon)

Rosalina, Boo, Count Bleck, Tippi, Peach, Daisy (Mario)

Mario, Yoshi, Luigi (Mario/DIC Cartoons)

Cream, Chao, Orbot, Cubot, Zavok, Zazz, Dr Eggman, Vector, Chip, Tails Doll (Sonic The Hedgehog)

Sonic, Tails (Sonic/AOSTH)

Poppet, Dr Strangeglove, Baby Rox, Captain Squirk, Jeepers, Kissy, Shishi (Moshi Monsters)

Hanazuki, Yellow Hemka, Pink Hemka, Light Blue Hemka (Hanazuki)

Charles Calvin, Reginald Copperbottom, Right Hand Man, Dmitri Petrov (Henry Stickmin)

Mama (Cooking Mama)

Pusheen The Cat

Shirousa & Kurousa (Sugar Bunnies)

Pipsqueak (The Lorax)

Mushi Sanban, Numbuh 9/Maurice, Father/Benedict Wigglestein & Monty Uno/Numbuh 0 (Codename: Kids Next Door)

Bubble (BFDI)

Winner (TPOT)

X, Cake (BFB)

Orbulon (Warioware)

Kirby, Meta Knight (Kirby)

PukeyHurlC (Grossery Gang)

Duck Guy, Red Guy, Bread Mother, Electracey (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared)

ENA (Season 1/Dream BBQ)

Moony (ENA)

Toriel, Papyrus (Undertale)

Jevil (Deltarune)

Neo Cortex, Aku Aku, Dingodile, Lani-Loli, Kapuna-Wa (Crash Bandicoot)

Scar (Alien Vs Predator)

Secret History! Tails (Mashed)

MX (Mario 85)

N (Murder Drones)

505, White Hat (Villainous)

SCP-049, SCP-999 (SCP)

Sam (Trick R Treat)

Lord X, Majin Sonic, Hog, Curse (EXEs)

Hypno (Pokémon/Poképasta)

Lost Silver (Pokepasta)

XR, NOS-4-A2 (Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command)

Ms Joke, Eri, Tsuyu Asui (My Hero Academia)

Rayman (Rayman/Animated Series)

Snatcher (A Hat In Time)

Scarecrow (BTAS/TNBA/Arkham Asylum/Arkham Knight/Injustice 2/Harley Quinn Series/Happy Halloween Scooby Doo)

Mad Hatter (BTAS)

King Shark (Harley Quinn Series)

Ragdoll, Riddler, Joker (The Batman Series)

The Question (Justice League Unlimited)

Zardy (Zardy's Maze)

Dr. Nefarious (Ratchet & Clank)

Soft BF (FNF: Soft)

Cofi, Bezel, Slushi, Cheezborger (Chikn Nuggit)

Hex, Nikusa, Rascal, Sarvente, QT, Boyfriend, Girlfriend (FNF)

Skid, Pump, Robert, Jaune, Streber, John, Bob Velseb (Spooky Month)

Blitzo, Moxxie, Collin, Stolas, Paimon (Helluva Boss)

Charlie Morningstar, Angel Dust, Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)

Pinkie Pie (My Little Pony)

Taki (Friday Night Fever)

Shuey Rhon Rhon (Beijing 2022 Paralympics Mascot)

Miraitowa, Someity (Tokyo 2020 Mascots)

Harry Hill, Robert Englund, Charles Martinet (Celebrities)

Bingo, Snorky (Banana Splits)

Wall-E, EVE (Wall-E)

Mario.EXE (Mario's Madness)

Needlem0use, Luther, Sarah Hendedson (Needlem0use)

Hank Anderson (Detroit: Become Human)

Bendy (BATDR)

Sammy Lawrence (BATIM)

Tari, Meggy Spletzer, Melony (SMG4)

Mugman, Baroness Von Bon Bon (Cuphead Show)

Slender Man, Splendor Man, Lulu, Jeff The Killer, Laughing Jack (Creepypasta)

Moon Knight

Meilin Lee, Abby Park (Turning Red)

Spot The Dog

Edd, Matt, Tord, Tom (Eddsworld)

EteleD, Corrupt Mii (Wii Deleted You)

Perrito, Puss In Boots, Kitty Softpaws, Three Diablos (Puss In Boots)

Grogu (The Mandalorian)

Sayori, Monika, Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club)

Mr Shark, Diane Foxington (The Bad Guys)

Grim Reaper, Jack O Lantern (Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy)

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yanderes-galore · 1 year

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Just watched the movie "But I'm a Cheerleader" and thought up of this lil idea. Pre-Ink sammy lawrence with a closeted lesbian reader? It was the 1940s/30s/20s, so it was a pretty big no-no to be openly gay then. Sammy's my comfort character and im a lesbian in need of some x reader content.

I don't do comfort fics but... for once I'll try it. Don't expect this to be a regular thing, though. I hope you like it :) The yandere bit will be tame/barely there as it... didn't really fit? Idk, not used to this kind of thing so I'll see how it comes out.

Yandere! Platonic! Pre-Ink! Sammy Lawrence with Closeted! Darling

Short Concept/Reaction

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Slight overprotective behavior, Honestly this is lighthearted compared to what I do.

You'd both have to be really close friends for this to work.

As you said in your request, being LGBT around this time period was taboo.

Perhaps you're a voice actor or help him with the cartoon music?

Either way, Sammy has to grow close to you before he even knows about your preference.

Sammy isn't usually one for talking and can come off as cold or abrasive due to being stressed under Joey's demands.

He certainly isn't... expecting it when you tell him.

It's so sudden to him.

You manage to even pull him out of what he was working on.

By this point you both were probably as close as mentor and student.

You almost regret your decision when he snaps his head around to you, not quite getting what you meant.

"Pardon?"

"Sammy... I like the same gender."

Sammy will take some time to consider your words before fully accepting it.

As he's attached to his younger assistant... he nods and pulls you in for a hug.

"As long as you're happy, doll... I'm happy you told me."

"Will you tell Joey...?"

"No, not a soul."

He's too busy to really care too much about what society thinks, plus, you're a good worker and friend.

He'd keep your secret for you.

It's hard to fit yandere into this but he'd probably be overprotective of you like usual.

Just even more so as he's worried your secret will get out.

He has no idea what Joey will do if he finds out.

Sammy isn't violent, he just keeps you in the music department most of the time.

Overall, Sammy may be either neutral or supportive towards you if you came out to him.

He'll keep your secret due to how hard it is to be LGBT in this age...

If anyone else knows, he'll be sure they do the same with a few threats.

#yandere bendy and the ink machine #yandere batim #yandere platonic #yandere sammy lawrence

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hairscare · 2 months

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saw this and couldnt resist! more info + template under read more

favorite: concupiscence!!! my looooooove <333 actually at one point started out as sammy lawrence. hes.... come a long way. i would rp as him and at some point my human sammy got really flanderized as being super sexy and a himbo and then i made a demon au where his name was samusence and i really liked samusence since he was like this super sexy gay flamboyant son of asmodeus + beleth. anyways when i stopped rping i wanted to reuse him and i got lucky that samusence sounds a lot like concupiscence so thats her name now :) anyways i live gay campy girly characters sm of course my fav is the pink fruity bimbo one who eats ppl

oldest: when i was like 5 or 6 my mom got me a dead tired lagoona and i was obsessed with her to the point that i made her her own character named oceana blue and she was lagoonas older sister. i always gave her an afro even though the doll didnt have one idk why but its cute

newest: yesterday i was thinking abt how awesome red and white look together so i made a vampire girl at like 1 am. calling her red rn bc idk what to do w her

easiest: mag. little thingy

hardest: appropriately its variphael to match mag. THEYRE SO ANNOYING TO DRAW GRAAAAHHH I HATE THEIR HALO THINGS

#my art #my ocs #hellhole #concupiscence #red #celestial bodies #mag #variphael

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dot-cant-write · 1 year

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An Ice Skating Outing (Sammy Lawrence x Reader)

A little holiday oneshot for Christmas :)

It was the holiday season again in New York. And within one little animation studio, you and your best friends were planning your Friday night out.

You were a long-time employee of Joey Drew Studios who worked as a janitor. A simple job, but a nice one because you were able to interact with all different folks within the studio. Your best friends were none other than Wally Franks and Shawn Flynn. Wally Franks was the other janitor of the studio, unfortunately tasked with cleaning up everyone’s messes (sometimes even your own, though you loathe to admit it). Shawn Flynn was a young Irish immigrant trying to make his mark in the studio. How he was going to do that with all those crooked-smiling Bendy dolls he made, you had no idea.

The three of you gathered in Heavenly Toys, discussing your plans for the holiday season. Wally brought up walking down to Rockefeller Center to ice skate and look at the classic Christmas tree after work. It was a tradition of yours, even though none of you could ice skate to save your lives. Despite this, you and Shawn excitedly agreed to this idea. Tomorrow, the three of you would have a rockin’ time around the giant Christmas tree.

------------------------------------------------

It was Friday morning, and you were helping Wally clean around the studio. It was your turn to clean the Storyboard and Music Departments. You had just finished up in Story, and as you waved goodbye to a fellow coworker, Dot, you made your way down the hall towards the music studio.

First, you made your way upstairs to Norman Polk in the projection booth. Truth be told, he never made much of a mess, but he did made good conversation. It was also just fun to watch the band perform. You and he had spent many days up in the projection booth discussing Sammy Lawrence. While Norman found Sammy strange, you found the composer fascinating. He was far from the usual cheery or simply tired employees often found in the studio. Sammy Lawrence was cranky and often pessimistic, but it was almost refreshing in a sense. Wally and Shawn, of course, weren’t glass-half-empty folks.

Today, they were recording a special holiday edition of Bendy the Dancing Demon. The music sounded beautiful, as always. It certainly helped that the music director was the one and only Sammy Lawrence. Pessimistic he may be, but Sammy knew music.

You still remember the first time you’d met. You’d been chatting with Jack Fain, the lyricist of the Music Department, during his break. (You refused to visit him otherwise- he worked down in the sewers, and it was far too stinky there.) Most of the time you tried to avoid the Music Department, thanks to Wally’s horror stories of the director. Wally forgot to mention he often got himself into trouble when he misplaced his keys, which usually led to him getting scolded by Sammy. Of course, on that particular day, yet another pipe burst while you finally had a chance to catch up with Jack. The recording room had begun to flood as a result. You and Jack had rescued as much sheet music as you could, and even a few instruments before the ink ruined the studio. You had saved as much as you could, though. Thankfully, it was more than enough to make a positive impression on the music director when he returned. Sammy Lawrence had a look of utter horror on his face as he made he way back from his break (back when breaks actually happened at the studio). You watched as Jack explained what had happened to the composer. When he told Sammy how you and him had rescued the sheet music, Sammy sighed with relief. You gently handed him the pile of music, and he simply said “At least one of these janitors is competent.”

Since then, you’d been less afraid of the Music Department. In fact, Sammy Lawrence tolerated you, which is more than most can say. Thanks to Jack and to your rescue mission, Sammy had allowed you to hang around. He’d been borderline friendly, which is about as good as you can get when it comes to Sammy Lawrence. The more you spent time with him, though, the more you developed feelings for the director. He was, after all, a handsome man. He had longer blond hair that often fell into cold blue eyes, and despite an icy exterior, something about him attracted you. Especially since he wasn’t so frosty around you anymore. While he didn’t exactly appreciate your outgoing friends, he all but admitted to enjoying your company.

Unfortunately, the composer looked especially stressed today. Probably another deadline due. You frowned. Maybe he needed a pick-me-up. That’s when a lightbulb appeared over your head. Maybe you could be the pick-me-up.

———————————————————————

“I’m going to invite Sammy Lawrence to join us tonight.” You announced over lunch.

“Are you kidding? You wanna invite mister grouch? The ultimate Scrooge?” Wally asked, flabbergasted at your suggestion.

“Consider the consequences! Ol’ Sammy is too much of a party pooper.” Shawn chimes in. Always has to get his two cents in.

“Oh c’mon, guys. Sammy can’t be that bad. Besides, I bet he’s lonely. It wouldn’t hurt to ask him to join us!” You defended, taking a bite of your sandwich.

Shawn waggled his eyebrows playfully. “(Y/N) just wants to go sweet on him, Wally.”

And that’s what you get for mentioning that the composer was cute to your friends one time.

Your face heated up. “Shawn, shut it. That’s not what this is about, I just think it’d be fun-“

“You can invite him, (Y/N), we’re just horsin’ around. But I’m bringin’ mistletoe!” Wally teased.

You stuck your tongue out at Shawn and Wally and made your way to the Music Department once more. It was lunch break for most, but if you knew anything about Sammy Lawrence, it was that he didn’t really take breaks. Not anymore, anyway. He was always somewhere in the Music Department, writing the next piece of music or meeting some deadline or another. Not to mention there was always the threat of a pipe bursting nowadays. Sure enough, Sammy was sitting on a stool by his music stand, scribbling into a black notebook.

You hesitated. “Um, hi, Sammy.”

The composer glanced in your direction, then went back to writing. “Hello. Do you need something?”

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come with Shawn, Wally and me to Rockefeller Center tonight? We were gonna go see the tree and ice skate.”

“No thanks. Deadline to meet.”

You frowned. “Oh, okay. Are you sure? Maybe you could use a break.”

“Deadline to meet.” Sammy repeated.

“Okay. I’ll let you get back to song writing then. Sorry to bother you.” With that, you turned away to rejoin your friends, thoroughly disappointed.

———————————————————————

Sammy Lawrence felt guilty. He wasn’t used to that feeling, save for the guiltiness of disappointing Joey Drew. Honestly, a nice stroll in the cold sounded pleasant. But Shawn and Wally weren’t exactly his crowd, and he did have a deadline to meet, even if he enjoyed (Y/N)’s company. Sammy pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He took a long drag, and slowly blew out the smoke.

“If I can finish this song…” he told himself.

———————————————————————

At the end of the day, you met once more with Shawn and Wally. The three of you clocked out (Wally praying for no more messes) and were grabbing your coats. As you wrapped your scarf around your neck, you heard a smooth voice come from behind you.

“Is that offer still open?” Sammy Lawrence asked quietly.

You whipped around to face him, ignoring an open-mouthed Shawn and a smirking Wally.

“Yeah, of course. Didn’t you have a deadline to meet, though?”

Sammy slipped on his coat. “Finished. And it’s goddamn Christmas. Might as well enjoy the season,” he pulled out a cigarette to light.

Wally clapped Sammy on the back, earning a scowl in return as he nearly dropped his lighter. “That’s what I’m sayin’! Now let’s get outta here!”

Together, the four of you left the studio. You noticed that Sammy Lawrence kept rather quiet during the walk. He seemed to be breathing in the cold. If he wasn’t taking a drag, that is.

“So, Sammy, you ever been ice skating before?” Shawn asked, pulling his hat lower over his ears.

“Used to on nights after Jack and I got out from the theatre. He’d drag me along before I had to drift for the night.”

“Are you any good then? The three of us are god-awful on the ice.” You chimed in, earning a “Hey!” from Wally and Shawn.

Sammy simply shrugged. “Not sure. Don’t do it anymore.”

“Well, we’re about to find out, music man.” Wally announced as your group arrived at Rockefeller. It was quite crowded out, but New York was always lively.

The tree was jaw-dropping. It didn’t matter how many times you had seen it over the years; every time was like the first time. The tree was lit up gorgeously this year, ornaments climbing its massive branches. Even Sammy paused to take in its magnificence.

“Wow,” breathed out Shawn. “Never gets old, does it?”

“Nope. Gotta be the best part of the season,” Wally replied.

Slowly, the four of you broke your gaze from the tree and made your way to the entrance of the ice rink, where tickets were being sold to skate. The four of your purchased your tickets and went to change into the skates. Wally and Shawn passed you a pair of skates, then winked at you. The pair disappeared into the crowd. That left you and Sammy alone on a bench as you laced up your ice skates. Of course. You should’ve known they would pull a stunt like that.

“Where’d they go?” Sammy asked as he laced his own pair of skates.

“Don’t mind them, they’re just being a couple of twits.”

Sammy chuckled. “Don’t have to tell me twice. Shall we?” He asked, standing wobbly and offering you his hand. You took it, and together you somehow made it onto the ice. Not without you practically tripping over the ledge to the rink, though. Sammy caught you.

“Thanks. Usually that’s the part where I’d fall on my behind and Wally and Shawn laugh,” you admittedly sheepishly as you tried to regain your balance.

“It’s fine. Don’t know why you insist on skating then, though.”

“Because it’s fun! It doesn’t matter how many times you fall, because we always laugh and help each other back up… eventually.” You smile at him and start to let go of his hand in favor of gripping the rail. Instead, Sammy held your hand a little tighter. You looked up at him, confused, but he refused to meet your eye. Blushing faintly, you started to skate with him.

The weather was absolutely perfect tonight. The lights on the tree at Rockefeller Center shone brilliantly in the New York night. There was a light breeze that ruffled your hair, and Jack Frost nipped at your nose. Despite the cold weather, though, you felt warm next to Sammy. You looked up at him, only to realize that it had begun to snow. Tiny snowflakes sprinkled down and landed in Sammy’s dirty blond hair. You also couldn’t help but notice how surprisingly graceful the music director was on the ice. Maybe it was his tall and lanky stature, but he seemed to have no problem gliding along the rink.

“Is there something on my face?”

Sammy’s question startled you into reality. A heat spread over your cheeks as you looked away. “Er, no, I just… got distracted.”

The composer gave a rare smile in response. “Mhm. I’m sure.” He still hadn’t let go of your hand.

“Y’know, I’m really happy you were able to make it tonight.”

“Yeah well, just don’t tell Joey.”

“Mr. Drew won’t hear a word from me,” you assured him.

——————————————————————————————

You were just starting to get a handle on the rhythm of skating when Wally and Shawn skated around.

“Hey lovebirds!” Shawn chided.

“How’s skatin’?” Wally asked.

You gave a death glare to Shawn before quickly letting go of Sammy’s hand. “It’s going good. How’re you two holdin’ up? Bet you fell on your asses already.”

“We did!” Wally laughed. “All in good fun, I think.”

You nodded and smiled before Wally and Shawn took off again. “Gettin’ off the ice in fifteen!” Shawn hollered.

“Okay!” You shouted back. As soon as your friends were out of sight, you reached for Sammy’s hand again. He looked at you quizzically.

“So I don’t fall like a complete fool,” you explained. Definitely not because your hand was left cold without his. Definitely not because you simply wanted to hold his hand and ice skate and pretend that you were getting your happily ever after. Sammy Lawrence looked down at your hand in his, then back up at you. His lips upturned just slightly. You continued to ice skate.

“So… Why don’t you like Christmas?” You asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

“It’s just… It gets busy. At the studio. And everyone is so annoyingly cheery. I’m not really happy, so why should everyone else be?” He sighed, before adding “I don’t really have any family to go to anyway. Jack always invites me over, but I don’t wanna be a burden.”

This was the most honest you'd ever heard him be with you. It was refreshing. You squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I’d bet Jack would love to have you. Anyone would. You don’t have to be such a Scrooge. Perhaps a little Christmas cheer is just what you need.”

Sammy chuckled in response. “Perhaps.” The two of you slipped back into the comfortable silence. Before you knew it, fifteen minutes had passed and it was time to find Shawn and Wally. That wasn’t exactly hard to do. The two of them were currently trying to make their way to the rink’s exit, and failing at it. You and Sammy made it to the bench long before they did. Finally, Shawn sat down next to you, and Wally nearly tripped onto the pavement.

“Why do we do that every year again?” Asked Wally, tugging off his skates.

“You tell me,” you replied, grinning.

“Touche,” Wally shrugged.

Once the four of you had changed out of your ice skates, you split the scene. This was usually the part where you and your friends would head home. You all exchanged glances.

“Well, I had a lotta fun, even if I landed on my rump more times than I can count. But it’s time to head home. I’m outta here!” Wally waved to you all and started his journey home.

Shawn nodded. “Same here. Got to get some rest. Night!”

And then there were two. You looked up at Sammy. “Well… I suppose I should be getting home, too.”

“Do you want me to walk you home?” Sammy asked suddenly.

You were taken aback by his question. “I- That would be lovely, actually. Thank you.”

—————————————————

The walk wasn’t too long, but it was certainly cold. You knew you should’ve brought a heavier jacket. One particular gust of wind sent a shiver down your spine. Without a word, Sammy shrugged off his coat and draped it around your shoulders. He seemed completely unfazed by the weather.

“Thanks.” You smiled gratefully at him, tugging the coat tighter around your shoulders. It smelled like cologne, ink, and cigarette smoke. Somehow, the combination was pleasant. Or maybe it was just what those smells represented. You walked closer to the composer, feeling warmth radiate from him. Soon, you made it to your door.

“Thank you again for walking me home. And for your coat,” you said, handing it back to him.

“Thanks for good company,” he replied as he slipped his coat back on. He said it genuinely and sincerely.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” You asked.

“You know where to find me.” Sammy turned to leave, and you faced your door. But…

“Sammy, look at this!” You pointed upward at the overhang above your door. The composer faced you, and tilted his head as he glanced upwards.

“Mistletoe,” you both said. You laughed lightly. Wally and Shawn strike again. You didn’t know how, but you knew it was them.

“You know the rules, Sammy,” you continued, taking a step towards him. The music director looked at you, a deep blush spreading across his features. He looked positively flustered. Standing on your tip toes, you planted a kiss on Sammy Lawrence’s cheek. His eyes widened and he lifted his hand to gingerly touch the spot where you’d kissed him. Gosh, you wish you could take a picture of that moment.

“Merry Christmas, Sammy.” And with that, you left the flustered composer on your doorstep.

You couldn’t wait to tell Wally and Shawn.

#i just had to write something christmas-y #working on another holiday oneshot too actually #sammy lawrence x reader #sammy lawrence #batim #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #batdr

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smirnoffswitchblade · 2 months

Text

♡⸝⸝ about me .ᐟ

includes: introduction, dni/byf, etc . . .

— Finally im making an introduction after putting it off for a bit out of shyness (and laziness..+ being nervous, but i need to push myself to do things sometimes.) but i thought its time you guys know a little bit more about me! ^^

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀. 𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

‼️ • MDNI • ‼️

♡ ····· introduction

• Hello there!! im Sammy, but i prefer to be called Sakura if we aren’t extremely close. <3

• Im 20 years old! Im also a biracial lady, Bisexual, and my pronouns are She/Her! Please refer to me as so when talking to/about me.

• Some of my hobbies include : Cosplay, editing, drawing, photography (beginner), dancing, gaming, writing, reading, and baking!

• I like to associate myself with certain animals, specifically raccoons/deer/rag-doll cats/lambs/bats! Personally i think they fit me very well..so thats why you may see me repost those specific animals from time to time. (cause i think they’re me! ^^)

Tagged with: #irlsaku

• My few of my interests are cosplay, video games, anime, manga, flowers, greek mythology, herbology, nymphology, gloomy coquette and lolita fashion. among others too!

• i love many little men right now..but mainly ive been very lovey dovey over ren hana/fox, strade, lawrence oleander, sano kojima and vincent metzger! their just my favorites at the moment and i tend to self indulge in a bunch of selfshipping with them (persona x canon and oc x canon too!..maybe i will post my btd/tpof ocs here someday.)

♡ ····· DNI / BYF

• DNI: Minors, ageless blogs, zoos/maps, ableist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-xeno/neopronouns, i dont really have a big dni but these are my mains. I block freely.

• BYF: This account is my primary blog and it’s mostly just for me posting/spamming my brainrot of 18+ medias! (also made for self indulgence and other things but i wont speak on that too much) So please please if you are under the age of 18 or do not have an age stating that you are an adult in your bio you will be blocked! This blog and content is not made for your eyes to see and you can get others and the creators in legal trouble and yourself. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, Thank you.

• If you are not a minor but cant handle the topics/media that will be posted on my blog please don’t follow me, this blog again is simply for my hyper-fixations of 18+ medias, my own enjoyment, and more. Don’t hurt/trigger yourself intentionally by looking at the things i put here, and please look out for your wellbeing because you are special! <3 Thank you!

My sfw blog is @crunchysugarr so i wont mix my other medias with this one!

• I have ADHD/PTSD/anxiety and depression, please be mindful of these things when choosing to interact with me whether its in dms or my ask box!

• You can send anything (quite literally anything..) in my asks! I don’t mind it, but ill ignore it if i don’t feel comfortable answering it or if it makes me feel some type of way. Please remember i may take time to reply to them if you ever do send anything to my inbox. (I also ask that you don’t send me irl gore/animal gore/cp/etc in my ask box.)

- I tag my posts with my own hashtags, heres a few of them so you wont be confused about what I’m specifically trying to post!

- aesthetic: #sakuaesth

- rambling: #sakubabbles

- regular blogging: #sakuposting🌸

(This could change overtime but i don’t know if they will but if they do I’ll let you all know! I hate confusing others on accident, hope this helps somewhat!)

• Im still pretty new to the Boyfriend to Death fandom and other fandoms on here too, I’m always learning something new about these pieces of media every single day! so please don’t get upset if i say anything not really lore accurate (?) i guess.

• You can always dm me or reply in my posts freely! But please ask to dm me in my ask box if you do want to talk to me in private, i usually only chat on tumblr and not discord because only people i’m closest to have my discord. But feel free to ask to dm me and we can talk here on tumblr if thats fine with you <3

• Please be patient when it comes to me replying to messages/asks. Sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming knowing i have to reply to so many people so i may take some time to get back to you all depending on whats going on with me that day, i do have a life outside of tumblr thats way different from how i appear online! But just know i have no intentions of ignoring anybody, i just wanna try and talk to new people for once.

Note: i tend to use emoticons only because i just think they’re adorable simply and i like to use them when texting! (i dont know why i feel the need to specify this so much, or anything else for that matter..but i did!)

♡ ····· other / extra things

ill try and make this as short as possible so you wont have to do too much more reading.. sorry about that!! ^_^’

• on this account the specific content i intend to post is boyfriend to death (1&2), the price of flesh, ykmet, degrees of lewdity, lovers trophy, courtin’ cowboys, this is not romance, and Saw (2004)!

• i can give out some of my other socials below so feel free to follow them if you’d like to, or don’t! i would never force anything upon you or anyone. <3

Twitter: @/crunchysugarr

Pinterest: (the same as my twitter user)

• and i think thats really pretty much everything! i hope you enjoy my company and my blog, if theres any other questions you wanna ask to know other things about me that aren’t listed here then you are free to shoot me an ask anytime! (no pressure of course <3.) Im sure we will become good friends someday! take care ♡

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vanana-r0tat3 · 1 year

Text

BATIM/BATDR characters as vocaloid songs

[PREV POST]

sorry if any of these feel ooc </3 some of these are covers //just like last time heres the playlist//

Joey Drew: World is Mine - ryo [Jubyphonic Cover] (i am only half joking with this one...) Outer Science - Jin [Kuraiinu Cover] The Game of Life - Yuzuhico [Jubyphonic Cover] Matoryoshka - Hachi

Henry Stein: Bad Apple - Minoshima [Jubyphonic Cover] Donut Hole - Hachi [MioDioDaVinci KYO Cover] Nonsense speaker - Nekobolo

other characters below the cut :)

Sammy Lawrence: Stop Nagging Me - Neru Crystaline - CirCrush Echo - Crusher [JubyPhonic & Mes] yes i am plugging my old mashup Phony - Tsumiki [Will Stetson Cover] Love me, Love me, Love me - Kikuo [Mey Chan Cover]

The Ink Demon: Karma - CircusP Copycat - CircusP [Dima Lancaster Cover] Amygdala's Rag Doll - GHOST The Cat's Dining Table - Kikuo You are a Worthless Child - Kikuo

Audrey: Rolling Girl - wowoka White Happy - MARETU Brain Fluid Explosion Girl - rerulili

Susie Campbell/Malice Angel: Let's go to Heaven - Kikuo Hitorinbo Envy - koyori Machine Gun - KIRA Again - Crusher [ARAKI Cover] Bacterial Contamination - Kanimiso-P

Norman Polk/The Projectionist: Emptiness, Emptiness, Emptiness of Emptiness - Kikuo

Henry and Joey: Therefore You and Me - TadanoCo Patchwork Staccato - toa [Jubyphonic Cover] Talent Sampler - koyori [Agi UTAU Cover] Monster - KIRA [Aruvn Cover] Mind Brand - MARETU [Kuraiinu Cover]

Sammy and Joey: Honey I'm Home - GHOST I Hate You - dennoko-P Disillusioned - MARETU

Sammy and Norman: Hole Dwelling - Kikuo Corpse Dance - Kikuo

Audrey and The Ink Demon/Bendy: Hide and Seek - SeeU [Lizz Robinett Cover] S.I.U - MARETU [Chinjireta Cover] A Tale of Six Trillion Years and a Night - kemu Childish War - Giga-P & Reol

Audrey and Joey: Death Should Not Have Taken Thee - Jesus-P [Jubyphonic Cover] sorry i just think this one is silly lol

and of course, leekspin for wally miku's levan polkka is so fucking funny bc apparently shes not even singing in finnish shes just singing giberish that sounds vaguely like the original song its great

ALSO SHOUTOUT TO YOU BTW BECAUSE YOUR MIND 💥

i already had karma down before seeing this but i put it under bendy HFGHJDFJHD definitely fits sammy i think too!

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hunterwritesstuff · 13 days

Note

Kenny :) (Keneth)

KENNETH!!!!!

Pre-fall of studio:

Hunter: "A sweet boy with a heart of gold!"(Friendly)

Sammy: "Smile, Lawrence! It never hurts to flash one!"(Friendly)

Joey: "Oh Drew~ With your face so red, I wonder who it is stuck in your head~?"(Friendly)

Rebecca: "A doll~! But not for me."(Friendly)

Bruce: "Guh...BRUCE."(Hated)

Marcy: "Thank you, my dear!"(Friendly)

Susie: "A wonderful lady!...can't...carry a tune, though..."(Friendly)

Tom: "Wifekisser."(Friendly)

Allison: "She likes my jokes!"(Friendly)

Wally: "Wally, my DARLING~!!"(Loved)

John: "Watch your heart rate, now!"(Friendly)

Henry: "A kind man!"(Friendly)

Norman: "Peekaboo!"(Friendly)

Bertrum: "A man who brings smiles all around!"(Friendly)

Lacie: "Hm...Nifty!"(Friendly)

Mary: "May I have this dance, my dear?"(Friendly)

GENT(The company): "Hm....I don't quite trust you..."(Tension)

Barley(Hunter's bio dad): "a brave man...it can't have been easy to lose him so young..."(Respect)

Grant: "You can do this~!"(Friendly)

Shawn: "Need any voices for voiceboxes for dolls~?"(Friendly)

Betty: "A fine young lady!"(Friendly)

Post-Fall of studio:

Hunter: "MUST BE [THIS TALL] TO RIDE THIS [RIDE THIS RIIIIIIDE~]!"(Friendly)

Sammy: "A [MUSICIAN!!]"(Friendly)

Joey: "OUR WONDERFUL [fearless] LEADER!"(Feared)

Rebecca: "RUN!!!!!"(Friendly)

Bruce: "USELESS FUCK."(Hated)

Marcy: "..."(Tension)

Susie: "AN [angel, angel] SENT FROM [HELL!!!!]."(Tension)

Tom: "AT THE [GENT corporation] WHEN YOU SIGN ON, YOU SIGN YOUR [soul~] AWAY!!!"(Friendly)

Allison: "A TOTAL [FREEDOM FIGHTER!!!] FOR THE [GOOD FIGHT!!]!"(Friendly)

Wally: "DARLING...I'M [SORRY] I COULDN'T [PROTECT] YOU..."(Loved)

Kenneth: "WHO'S THIS [SEXY] AND [HANDSOME] FELLA...?"(Confused)

John: "FOUND HIS [BODY] BUT NOT HIS [HED]."(Friendly)

Henry: "THE [CREATOR]!!!!"(Friendly)

Norman: "WHY DO YOU [LOOKING GLASS] FAMILIAR?"(Friendly)

Bertrum: "WHEE!!!!!"(Friendly)

Lacie: "A [FATE] WORSE THAN [DEATH]..."(Tension)

Mary: "[MARY HAD A] MENTAL STABILITY. HAD."(Tension)

GENT(The company): "OH, THE [DRAMA], OH, THE [BLOODSHED]!!!!"(Hated)

Barley(Hunter's bio dad): "[AHOY, MATEY!!], KEEP [GUIDE] YOUR SON!!!!"(Friendly)

Grant: "A [MAN] FORMED INTO A [MONSTER]."(Tension)

Shawn: "THE [LIVING] PLUSHIE!!!"(Friendly)

Betty: "[angel, angel...]...what are you doing back...?"(Confused)

#batim au #bendy #the ink demon #bendy the demon #batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #joey drew batim #batim bendy #bendy au #bendy and the dark revival #bendy the dancing demon #boris the wolf #alice angel #henry stein #sammy lawrence

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mickeys-malarkey · 2 years

Text

Pt. 2/3: Expanding (Mostly) On My DCTL & TLO Thoughts

Thanks to reading @inkdemonapologist's thoughts on TLO, I can see where people are coming from saying it's an unnecessary addition to/doesn't fit with the rest of the series, etc. But I think the opposite is the case specifically because of some of the things she hit on. She asks why Joey would actually want his machine to amplify people's hidden emotions and personality traits to a cartoonishly extreme degree (because the inkwell's hive mind said the ink machine was never broken in the first place, so that must mean it was an intended function), and I think it's for one of the same reasons he wrote TIOL:

It's an S.O.S.

I think the ink didn't just make those infected with it into cartoonish personifications of their own emotions and personality traits, I think they became cartoonish personifications of Joey's emotions and personality traits. Look at the actual subjects of some of the amplified emotions/personality traits we see in BATIM, DCTL, and TLO, after everything we noticed in Part One of my analysis/theory.

The BATIM bosses seem more focused on the desire part of Joey's psyche:

Sammy desires someone who will protect and save him, tries his best to please and show love to the one he thinks can do that, but Bendy was a soulless monster that didn't care about anyone or anything (read “Henry didn't know about the full picture, just that he needed to take care of what he did understand before irreversible damage was done” and “Nathan was an abusive, manipulative monster”) and kills him (read “leaves to protect his marriage and his physical and mental health” and “turns him into an abusive, manipulative monster just like himself”), causing him to lash out because he feels betrayed and abandoned. He also goes from desiring to shed the human form he was born in (read “leave behind his poor-person origins and reinvent himself”), thinking that will be part of what sets him free in DCTL, to desiring to shed the ink form (read “escape the persona and terrible legacy”) that he was manipulated into trapping himself in by the ink (read “by Nathan”) when we see him in BATIM (by the way, please forgive all the extra colored text in this part of the list, I need it to illustrate which quotes belong to which character).

“That day the ink found me. It wanted me. He wanted me. At first I was scared. At first I could feel it inside, the drops I'd swallowed by accident. By luck. I could feel them moving around inside me. I shouldn't have been scared. I was foolish. Then the cravings started. I needed more ink. There was no choice. I had to. And the more I consumed the more I understood. The more I felt him. Heard him. I need to please him.” ~ Sammy Lawrence, Dreams Come to Life, pg. 259

“‘Joey now, Nathan,’ I said, taking a swig. Oban on the rocks. Delicious. How they managed to get it into New York City during Prohibition, I still to this day don't know. But I'll tell you one thing, since then my bar has never been without a bottle of the stuff. ‘And you can call me Nate! It's all about reinvention, isn't it?’ He smiled broadly and downed his drink in one gulp. ‘Let's dance! There are some mighty fine dolls on the floor tonight.’ I nodded and indicated I'd be right with him once I finished my drink. I returned the glass to the mirror-backed bar and gave the bartender a nod as he took it from me. I glanced at myself, I looked sharp in my tuxedo. I looked right. Joey and Nate. I shook my head at my reflection. This wasn't a reinvention. This was who I'd always been. Here, in this moment, in this suit, in this tie, in these shoes. These dancing shoes. I was Joey Drew. And Joey Drew was here to stay. I made my way to the mirrored floor, and boy oh boy, did I dance.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 45-46

“It's been quite a struggle to put this into words, Nathan. After so many years, you know I'd never ask unless it was dire. But when a man's in a spot, he should call upon his friends. Truth is… well, the studio is… *slight tremor in voice* coming up a little short. Hit a few unexpected bumps. If you could… lend us the amount I mentioned in my last letter *inhale* it would be a big help to me… Hope this reaches you in South America. You and Tessa enjoy your vacation.” ~ Joey Drew, Boris and the Dark Survival

“He appears from the shadows to rain his sweet blessings upon me. I see you, my savior. I pray you hear me. Those old songs, yes, I still sing them. I know you are coming to save me. And I will be swept into your final loving embrace. But, love requires sacrifice. Can I get an amen?” ~ Sammy Lawrence, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 2

“She bent down. ‘It's just me, Arthur, it's just Isabel.’ She reached out her hand. ‘I'm going to touch your shoulder now. It's just me.’ She did so, very gently. She looked like an angel then, a reference I have obviously taken away and used later in my career, as you know. She was delicate, with a high sweet voice, and her touch seemed to cure him. The man slowly sat up, and she held him close now. I watched this bit of theater and was moved.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 125

“…But here, at home, the things I keep and display, those are deeply personal things. Not trophies, but artifacts… …A letter from Henry. You might not think I'd keep such a thing, but I do. I have no ill will toward the man as you know. Him leaving, as I said, was the best thing that could have happened to the studio. His letter reminds me of that…” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 218

“…The time of sacrifice is at hand! And then, I will finally be freed from this… prison. This inky… dark… abyss I call a body…” ~ Sammy Lawrence, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 2

“Henry! Come visit the old workshop… There's something I need to show you.” ~ Joey Drew, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 5

Sounds to me like there might be some hidden context behind some of these remarks… Could he have (at least eventually) meant Henry leaving was a good thing a little more genuinely, some part of him (way) deep down understanding that his friend couldn't stay? That it was an act of self-sacrificial love to let him go? And could this mean he was going to sacrifice what was left his image in confessing everything to Henry, reinforcing that the worrying newspaper in his storage room was Nathan's doing, not his? 🤔

Back to things I'm more certain about, I think the split here – the fact Joey thought both of them would protect and save him in different ways – explains why Sammy seems to be talking to/about multiple different people when we meet him again in BATIM Chapter 5. He... he literally is. He's not (entirely) screaming about Bendy and Joey, he's screaming exaggerated versions of what Joey wished he could say to/about Henry and Nathan.

“BETRAYED!!! ABANDONED!!! I trusted you! I gave you everything… and you left me to rot! …Why? WHY?! He said he'd save me! He said he'd set me free! Now, I have nothing. NOTHING!!! He lies! HE ALWAYS LIES!!! My lord! Why have you forsaken me?! No. Don't look at me. Stay away. HA! You lied to me. You said I'd be free. Well, I'm going to free you now. Free your head right off your shoulders! Sheep, sheep, sheep… it's time for… sleep.” ~ Sammy Lawrence, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 5

Susie desires to be perfect and loved and is devastated when someone she admired and who gave her opportunities to make her dreams come true (read “Nathan, Detective Sinclair, etc.”) takes away what she cherishes (read “Henry plus who knows who and what else,” “opportunities to tag along on his investigations,” etc.) and tells her that she's unlovable trash, which drives her to try harder and harder to make herself perfect, destroying herself and agreeing to horrible things that she never should've. She also desires to be safe, secure, stable, and be able to trust those around her, which when violated, causes her to lose trust in everyone, suspect everyone of lying, conspiring, wanting to betray and take advantage of her, leading her to harming innocents in her quests for self-preservation and vengeance, while also creating a split between two very conflicting sides of herself: the “Alice Angel side” that wants to do all the horrible things, and the “Susie Campbell side” that's heartbroken over the fact that she's doing it (let's call Joey's versions of this his “Joey Drew side” and his “Joseph Dempsey side,” based on the fact he tells us all about how he started going by “Joey” when he started the Studio Chapter of his life and the theory that “Drew” is actually a sort of stage name, not his legal one).

“Once upon a time, there was an angel. And she was beautiful. And loved by all. *Voice breaks with tears* She was perfect. No matter what Joey says.” ~ Susie Campbell/Twisted Alice, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 3

“…I appreciated the advance notice of what event I was attending, but to be honest wondered if he felt I hadn't dressed properly for the occasion at the art gallery. It stung a bit, and while my ego wasn't hurt (I never took that sort of thing personally) it did tell me that the detective was not someone I had any interest in becoming friends with in the future… …The fact was, of course, I didn't have many options in my closet, but I did my best to look put together and accomplished the task fairly easily. The good thing with my appearance is that it is very suited to a suit, so even the most basic one looks like it was tailored to fit me…” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 129 (emphasis added)

“They told me I was perfect for the role. Absolutely perfect. Now Joey's going around saying things behind closed doors. I can always tell. Now he wants to meet again tomorrow. Says he has an ‘opportunity’ for me. I'll hear him out. But if that smooth talker thinks he can double-cross an angel and get away with it, well. *Evil chuckle* Oh he's got another thing coming. *Dangerous tone* Alice doesn't like liars.” ~ Susie Campbell/Twisted Alice, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 3 (emphasis added)

“I didn't love this probing. I didn't trust it. They say it's women who love to gossip, but in my experience men love it just as much; they just do it differently. They hide it behind short sentences and indirect questions. What did Kyle care about my experience with shoes? I wondered. Probably trying to figure out my past, and that was none of his business. Then I told myself it didn't matter because I didn't care what he thought. He might have been richer than me at the time, but that's where his superiority ended. He was simple; he was downright silly. And his attempt to get more from me, to push me to admit something that wasn't true, was lazy and obvious. Never approved of a lazy man.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 24 (emphasis added)

Bertrum desires the respect of others and praise for his work, and is so infuriated when he's belittled by and receives nothing but constant criticism and demands for change from someone who claims to respect, understand, and admire him but clearly doesn't (read “Nathan—” seriously, especially after my experience with my ex and his family, my gosh does his remark about the rewriting of history being a blemish make me wanna sock him! Talk to me when you can stop rewriting everything Joey says), that he is literally consumed by and made one with his doomed creation in his attempts to outshine and get back at him, nothing but an extremely miserable piece of his former self remaining.

“A grand idea is one that requires care and attention. A well calculated understanding between creation… and creator. I was told that Mr. Drew hired me to build his park for this very reason. He trusted my eye to craft and design something wondrous and exciting. So why do my notes keep coming back dripping with his critical red pen?! Changes! Corrections! Questions that a child wouldn't ask! Mr. Drew may consider himself a dreamer… but in the end, he's the man who can see the island but could never build the boat himself.” ~ Bertrum Piedmont, BATDR teaser audio log dated May 19th, 1940 (emphasis added)

“Joey definitely told me this [murder mystery] story early on in our friendship and I had the pleasure of watching him share it several other times, seeing how he perfected the telling of it. I'd say that this version is near perfect, and it's a good thing he wrote it down when he did because in later years it became more rambling, and characters would get mixed up. I even found myself correcting him once or twice, which you can imagine he did not appreciate…” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 98 (emphasis added)

“…The only important question is this: Who are we, Henry? I thought I knew who I was… but… the success starved me. Nothing left but lines on a page. In the end, we followed two different roads of our own making. You, a lovely family… Me… a crooked empire. And my road burned. I let our creations become my life…” ~ Joey Drew, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 5

Meanwhile, the infected in TLO are more focused on the emotional reaction part of Joey's psyche:

This one's just gonna hafta be a bullet point list; there's just way too much material.

Bill is afraid of the future; of being out of control; of his dad's businesses, which will eventually be his own (read “the studio”); that he's a monster just like his dad (read “Nathan”) and cannot fix anything only destroy; of the people that his dad does business with (read “that he has to do business with, e.g., Nathan, the investors, etc.”); of indulging his desire to run away and start a new life and what that would entail, e.g., losing the safety his dad's (read “Nathan's”) money and connections do provide him. It's from this place of fear that we see Bill try to escape reality and forget the truth, but also what finally drives him to try and fight the monster when he realizes the full magnitude of the situation.

Constance is angry that she has no freedom; that she can't say what she wants and get it; at the inequality/power imbalances/etc. she suffers under (e.g., the fact that if she makes one wrong move her life could be ruined meanwhile so many others are just untouchable); at the fact she's not like the people she admires; at how everyone gossips about her and her sisters' love lives (read “his and probably also Henry and Nathan's love lives” *stares at every time Buddy got upset that people kept assuming he and Dot were dating and when Norman expressed surprise he hadn't once caught them -ahem- “fooling around,” and then at when Joey used his Angel & Devil play as a way to say “people will assume you're sleeping with someone if you're too affectionate but as long as the two of you know that ain't how it is then that's all that matters,” and then at when Constance almost got in big trouble with Bill's dad because he assumed she was trying to lure his son into marriage for his money and she flew into a rage*); at the lies and social games going on around her; at how Andrew (read “Nathan, Sammy, Jack, Norman, etc.”), someone who claims to love her, doesn't actually care and manipulatively tries to change the narrative around their breakup (read “Henry leaving”) taking her power away and making her the villain; that the people around her won't/can't help her; that she can't be her true self and has been forced to be what others want for so long that she doesn't even know what her own desires are— which she starts figuring out and trying to assert herself through discovering she might want nothing to do with romance ever and just want to focus on her career (“Nothing romantic, my darling, you don't need to run through the wall leaving a Joey-shaped hole in its place.” ~ Abby Lambert, The Illusion of Living, pg. 75 “…I knew I was a catch. But I was meant to swim the seas alone.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 166). It's from this place of anger that we see Constance engage in cruel, unreasonable, and even violent outbursts as well as experience massive power trips, but it's also what keeps her on the path of trying to sabotage the machine and cure ink infection. She's also the character most vocal about what's wrong in her life (as you can probably tell from the sheer length of this list entry), just like how anger is the emotion seen most often in Joey (“That's the Joey I knew.” ~ Henry Stein in one of his BATIM Chapter 4 invisible ink messages, in reference to the first audio log where we hear Joey's charmer facade drop when he flies into a shouting rage because he didn't realize he was still being recorded, previously only having heard about these common occurrences secondhand… Y'know, now I think about it, that tape itself actually addresses Joey disliking who he was being forced to be pretty directly. “…Okay, let's stop it right there. I can only do so many takes of this trash in a day…” ~ Joey Drew, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 4).

Brant is ashamed of his poor-person origins and invisibility/mediocrity; of the fact his pride is bruised so easily and it makes him do stupid things; of the underhanded crap he's having to do in order to get the attention, respect, and praise he craves; of the fact he betrayed the trust of a nice person he'd started to get attached to (read “all his employees and friends”); of the fact that he's not satisfied with the idea of getting married, having kids and dying like everyone else (read “Henry”) seems to be, as seen in how he wonders if there's something wrong with him as he contemplates the obituaries and their repetition of statements like “loving husband and father.” It's from this place of shame that we see Brant engage in downright manipulative behavior, but he's also the main character that we see the least of (read “emotion we have the hardest time seeing for the longest”), being “killed” by the Ink Demon (read “the Studio Chapter of his life”) shortly after he meets (read “starts”) it; but then he comes back near the end of the book (read “end of Joey's life”), his shame so strong and actually focused on the correct things that it drives him to try and make things right with those he wronged and join the fight against JDS (related: I don't think we should be dismissing the “Phil 2:03” note on Joey's cork board as not actually referring to such a freakishly relevant Bible verse because his appointments with Dr. Hackenbush are at weird times. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” does not feel like a coincidence, and as I said it seems like Nathan was not happy that Joey's conscience grew so loud and he reached out to Henry for help in the end; who knows how much of that very surreal memory was altered by outside forces for the sake of keeping Henry and Joey at odds beyond the grave? 👀).

Scott is paranoid that he's in constant danger and there's no escape for any of them, and is proven right (speaking of which, doesn't Joey being the one wrangling all the stray Lost Ones who almost escape make much more sense if 1: he's the literal center of the hive mind, so he can see exactly where those infected thoroughly enough with the right kind of ink are and what they're doing – as @inkdemonapologist pointed out, Buddy was clearly not exposed to the same kind of ink as Sammy+, explaining why Joey could never find him but he apparently eventually knew all about Sammy's Bendy worship and everything – and 2: he's not the real boss, he's just another puppet trapped in Nathan's twisted games).

Altogether, you get quite the full picture, indeed, if you ask me.

Maybe they didn't have everything planned this way from the very beginning, maybe they worked it all in when they realized how well it works (Lord knows I've done that, myself, as a writer. Especially in my and my bestie's BATIM fanfic, funnily enough), but the patterns match way too perfectly, at this point.

I think it's fascinating how this shows off how all of Joey's behavior that we perceive as being “because he's just an egotistical jerkwad like that” – asserting dominance and superiority at every opportunity, complimenting himself and putting others down constantly, being a control freak, lashing out for no good reason, etc. – is also completely normal behavior for people who have no freedom, hate themselves, have been wronged by others, etc…

“That big question. Why? The biggest of all the ‘W’ questions, I have found over my years, and often the hardest to answer. Especially when the why disguises itself as something else.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 21 (emphasis added)

“‘What?’ The most used of the ‘W’ questions, and I think the most useless…” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 33

…It's also a fascinating way to illustrate how trauma often causes someone to cause the same trauma in others (whether intentionally or unintentionally), who cause the same trauma in others as well (thinking of how Alice stole Boris from Henry and then kept dangling the hope of achieving the dream of saving Boris in front of him until finally his cherished one and his dream were destroyed in the most devastating way possible), spiraling on and on into countless vicious cycles… until somebody decides to be the one to break that cycle. 👀

I think Joey, himself, has attempted this at points besides when he contacted Henry, though the attempts were unsuccessful for many reasons. From the more-obvious “his brain was still in Nathan's blender” to… well, my next point:

Anyone notice that both Joey and Bill clearly dissociate? I've personally experienced events both like Joey's window story where a switch flipped in my brain and suddenly nothing felt real (I usually tell people it feels like I'm dreaming, but “watching a play” is also an accurate description. Also, holy heck, this poor guy has literally been surrounded by death since he was 10, no wonder he's such a mess) and like Bill's experiences of memory blackouts whilst his body runs on autopilot. Notice how similar Brant's reaction to dissociated Bill (“He seemed strangely out of sorts; maybe he was just drunk. But it was different. It spooked me a little.”) is to Sammy's reaction to Bendy's (Joey's) smile (“That smile… Something's just wrong with that smile.” By the way, why don't I remember anyone talking about how it's clearly implied that Mr. Unger could tell Joey's hand perfectly matches Bendy's hand print in DCTL? I was not expecting the connection between the two to just be… spelled out like that). This suggests to me (as someone who's heard similar descriptions of her dissociated self) that Joey's smiles are not always malicious in nature as people tend to assume, but a sign that he's in terrible shape and trying to cope. *Stares at Nathan's Elves and the Shoemaker note* It also seems that we get further confirmation that his coping smiles are frequently caused by Nathan (and that Nathan enjoys not only watching Joey suffer, but making his reaction to suffering that people find the most unsettling happen in front of large groups of people, as abusers do because it adds to the illusion that the victim is actually the villain) in his Angel & Devil play.

“Devil: You will allow it because it is an important detail and the devil is in the details. I leaned over at this moment and placed each of my index fingers at the edge of her lips and pushed slightly to make them turn up. A forced smile. Abby's eyes grew wide but she followed along. We hadn't practiced this but it felt right for the devil to do. Smile! The devil is in the details! The audience laughed again, this time with a bit of discomfort; the forced smile had something extra to it. Something unsettling. I loved that. I dropped my fingers and Abby shook her head at me.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 86

I now want to point out how it's when Bill is the most visibly frightened that Joey tries to share his “philosophy” with him— Joey literally tries and fails to share one of his biggest coping mechanisms with Bill just like how Bill tried and failed to share his own “time skipping” coping mechanism with his dad.

“I hadn't been paying any attention. Now I regretted it. I remember trying to explain to Father as a child this feeling of losing moments. He couldn't grasp the concept and had no desire to try harder. Mother had just died and he hardly had room for his own thoughts. I don't blame him. But if he'd understood, I'd felt back then, then maybe this could help him too. Help him skip past the scary things, the frustrating things, and just focus on what needed to be done.” ~ Bill Chambers, Bendy: The Lost Ones, pg. 56

“Joey leaned in, and with a slight smile he said, ‘Have you ever considered, my boy, that your reality is no more real than a dream I had last night?’ ‘I… had not considered that, no,’ I replied. ‘Well, consider it now.’ ‘I… will.’ …I had no idea what he meant, and I had no desire to consider my own existence in that way…” ~ Bill Chambers, Bendy: The Lost Ones, pg. 207-208

Both of these scenes have very interesting parallels to the first paragraph of Nathan's foreword…

“The Illusion of Living first made its way onto our shelves in 1942. This was a moment in our country's history full of angst and turmoil, and Joey Drew, who I had known since we were teenagers, thought that this book might be of help to a nation in crisis. Indeed, it is my firm belief that, had readers not been so deeply invested in stories about the horrors of the world and savage satire, or the complete opposite, desiring to close their minds with silly pointless diversion, they might have found a true vision his memoir/treatise. A true hope for the future and a model for how to live a life full of positivity. As it was, the sales upon the original release of the book were not what anyone hoped for, but Joey Drew, ever the optimist, didn't get upset. He knew the world would be ready for his words when the world was ready.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 1

Ignoring how much more passive-aggressively Nathan says that people weren't in a headspace to listen, and the clear implication that he would absolutely adore if more people would adopt his favorite puppet's maladaptive coping mechanism (*stares at his note where he states that part of him hopes Joey actually knew that the studio was already struggling financially in 1942 because he prided himself on knowing his studio so well and another part hopes that he didn't know because others were lying to him rather than he was lying to himself* this note doesn't reek of sinister motives at all, Nathan /s), I think this is actually a moment of truth. I think Joey genuinely believed that his so-called “philosophy” could help people because it was basically the only thing that was keeping him in any semblance of one piece, maybe even the only thing keeping him alive… and, at some point, he came to understand that people tend not to hear someone who's trying to help when they're in the wrong mindset. Feels like that might give new context to Joey's “you should've pushed a little harder” comment to Henry… Could he have really meant, “I wish you'd tried again when I could hear you?”

I'd like to point out that there's actually even more weirdly specific repeated themes/imagery across DCTL, TIOL, and TLO…

…and I think it might be direct evidence that Joey's thoughts are leaking into the minds of the infected through the ink's hive mind (much like how Bill's thoughts about Alice in Wonderland and Joey's “philosophy” leaked into Constance and Brant's minds). I'm not just talking about how Buddy, Bill, and Constance are all almost pressured into drinking like Joey successfully was at ages fricking 15-17ish (perhaps their avoiding it is wish fulfillment for Joey?), or how everyone keeps on hearing that it's dangerous to ask questions…

In DCTL, Buddy talks about how the noises in his family's apartment made him think the building was alive and then later mentions that his eyes adjust to darkness much more quickly now that he's ink than they did when he was human; in TIOL, Joey uses the very same “living thing” descriptions for his childhood home and in the very same story talks about being very good at forcing his eyes to adjust to darkness quickly. “You just need to focus hard enough,” he says. This insistence that he can control involuntary bodily functions through sheer willpower continues throughout TIOL, including an insistence towards the end of the book that he's not affected by things like cold and hunger due to having such a strong mind; then, TLO begins with Bill and Brant expressing how impressed they were that Constance didn't seem cold in her swimsuit and wondering how that was before Constance explains that she was actually freezing, but she had to pretend for the camera, so she forced her body to behave as if it were comfortable (considering Bill's dad was in charge of the advertisement she was filling in for her sister in, that doesn't seem to bode well for Joey's reasons to pretend he's impervious to every completely normal limitation of the human body and mind under the sun)…

I dunno about you, but at this point I think it's confirmed that Buddy's comment at the beginning of DCTL, heavily implied to be especially important…

“This has always stayed with me: Of all the memories that are getting mixed up a bit in here, in this brain, in this head, this… this for some reason just sticks out. Right then when he clapped, the lights came back on. It was like they were waiting for him, it was like he was in control of them. He wasn't. But I made that connection back then. Somehow it made sense that maybe, just maybe, he had the power to do that. He didn't. And he doesn't. Don't let anyone make you think he does.” ~ Buddy Lewek, Dreams Come to Life, pg. 20 (emphasis added)

…(you mean there's someone besides Joey, with his weird hierarchy charts in the Employee Handbook, etc., who wants us to think that Joey has power??) 1: was insider information gained from the ink's hive mind, and 2: was a little more… metaphorical than we thought; not referring to magical powers, but instead just… power in general…

Continued in Part Three: My BATDR Timeline & Plot Twist Theories

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