#same as books where the aliens themselves weren’t very central
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Normal People
It is not like this with other people.
For me, their mental issues hit me profoundly hard. Childhood trauma, low self-esteem, loneliness, insecure, the pain of being unworthy, unloveable, unworthy of love; anxious, inarticulate, identity crisis. It feels hurt when seeing my personality are reflected in these characters, how it influences and damages the most valuable relationship and life. I am a loner, as always I will be. Marianne is seeking for self-recognition through the pleasure of sex submissiveness, just as what I do enjoying the violence from all martial arts. Also, the power dynamic between them resonates me. We are like two sine waves on a graph, sometimes cresting at the same time, often out of sync may not converge again. Two people got together in their critical time of growing up, we loved and tortured each other, we’ve done so much good for one another that they may able to part and exist without each other. Fundamentally, we are different people because we’ve had each other in their lives. These miscommunication problems causing by mental issues were inevitable, and sometimes we’re too ashamed to say the things we want to, to the people we love. Being alone with Joy was like opening a door away from normal life and then closing it behind hme. Things got in the way and ended it.
「表面上看，这是关于一对年轻人经历爱情的书。它有关青春，有关爱。但我并不觉得这是爱情小说，更无关于青春忧伤和疼痛。作者笔下的这两个人物向我们展现的是人与人之间那种深奥且一言难尽的复杂关系。这份复杂并不来自爱情本身，而在于人本身的复杂性，尤在年轻的时候，并不懂得自己到底是谁，和世界的关系又怎样。对自己的和对生活的迷惘通常体现在和他人的交往过程中，形成映射：比如在关系里谁更有操纵权，爱与伤害的关系，来自所谓不同阶级的认知矛盾，各自的心理挣扎与梦想。与网络上的爱情“简单化”的鼓励相比，Rooney 的故事更真实地照出人们真正的样子。她最厉害的地方就是用这么清晰直白的叙述方式，展露出如此微妙复杂的人类情感关系。爱情，人性，人生的答案到底是怎样，作者要我们自行体会。在此书看到自己的影子的话，感觉并不轻松。」
Relationships in life don't really end, even if you never see the person again. Every person you've been close to lives on somewhere inside you. Your past lovers, your parents, your friends, people both alive and dead (symbolically or literally)--all of them evoke memories, conscious or not. Often they inform how you relate to yourself and others. Sometimes you have conversations with them in your head; sometimes they speak to you in your sleep.
- Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb
Sally Rooney on Writing Normal People
Relationship
Relationships, she explains, can never be free from power struggle, and writing a novel full of them is “about being sensitive to how important those power disparities are, but also understanding that it’s not like they exhaust the complete experience of what it means to be a human being or to be with someone else”.
I never write my characters in isolation. Much more interested in the relationship as a unit of social life. Coming up with an interesting relationship and then allowing that to grow and change in that particular set up.
How can people be together? The relationship forms of the past and we’re not necessarily for everyone, not that they’re like intrinsically repressive forms, but the coercive aspect of them was socially repressive that everyone is participate in relationship forms that were not actually suited for everyone. I am interested in exploring relationship in a cultural moment where certainties around relationship forms have deteriorated slightly.
I am sure the experiences that I was having were very ordinary experiences and if they weren’t it wouldn’t be worth writing about them. Marianne feels totally alienated from the idea of normality, sometimes she seems to feel like she’s a little bit better than normal people, sometimes she actually thinks she’s a lot worse than normal people. Connell desperately wants to attain what he sees as the status of normality that’s like what he aspires to. When he falls short of it he becomes very anxious. They do negotiate different relationships with the sort of the normal, but at the end of there they are both really just very normal, mundane. I am interested in inhabiting the idea of normal and sort of trying to expand or subvert or question it from within it, rather than stepping outside and trying to observe it.
Mechanics of Story-Telling
I have to feel there is something happening or unfolding, there is some kind of change or develop as I am watching in process, It doesn’t have to be big. Let’s pull them out, make they go to Deb’s fundraiser, go to holidays together, put them in different social settings, put them around people and each other’s friends. The variety in the mechanics of the story, using particular techniques to attain that variety. In terms fo the directions I am trying to push the relationship in, I scrolling in my mind through different options for where the characters can meet or run into each other, and then where they end up meeting will determine a lot of the content of what they end up saying to one another.
Ghost House Scence
Secret interaction but without reuse the same scenery of their houses. As a novelist that kind of gives a new dynamic to the scene and it allowed me to do things I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.
Ending
I will send my characters in the wrong direction and hit an obstacle, to see how far I have to rewind the path they’ve gone down before I can meet them again and send them down a different path. I have them make a decision in Chapter 3 and then I’ll get to Chapter 8 realize what happened in Ch.3 that’s wrong. Ch.3 had created a structural issue that needs to be resolved. Open ending, but some degree of a formative effect on both of them, that is the principle the novel is dramatizing, hope these effect make reader feel true see that in process and all the end of the book. Being plants in the same soil like kind of through a central image of the book
Illness
Push characters in to situations that they feel uncomfortable or they feel that the boundaries of control over the situation are being tested. When individual autonomy fails. One way I am doing is by sexual desire, so my characters feel they lose control of themselves, their social positions, relationships when they ‘re overwhelmed by what they feel to be uncontrollable, and uncontrollably strong desire for another person. The other way is through overseeing what it feels like for them to experience pain suffering and illness they have no control over.
Sex
I'm not interested in the psychology of cruel, abusive, exploitative people. I’m interested in to a large extent is intimacy, the discomfort, the loss of self – of being penetrated literally and also psychologically.
Techniques
No speech marks
Don’t to seal off the dialogue, want the dialogue to take a sort of natural kind of flowing pace with the text of the narrative and the body itself.
Present tense
Using a lot of flashbacks in past tense, easier the put main body in present tense, the flow between them is really easy.
Angle
I don’t think there’s a lot of distance between me and the characters, not standing behind and judging them. I am sort of just observe them and be with them in a non-judgmental way, making them just as capable of analyzing their own emotional lives and their own interactions with others as I would be.
Quotation
It is one of the secrets in that change of mental poise which has been fitly named conversion, that to many among us neither heaven nor earth has any revelation till some personality touches theirs with a peculiar influence, subduing them into receptiveness.
Being alone with her is like opening a door away from normal life and then closing it behind him.
If he silently decides not to say something when they’re talking, Marianne will ask ‘what?’ within one or two seconds. This ‘what?’ question seems to him to contain so much: not just the forensic attentiveness to his silences that allows her to ask in the first place, but a desire for total communication, a sense that anything unsaid is an unwelcome interruption between them.
The conversations that follow are gratifying for Connell, often taking unexpected turns and prompting him to express ideas he had never consciously formulated before. They talk about the novels he's reading, the research she studies, the precise historical moment that they are currently living in, the difficulty of observing such a moment in process. At times he has the sensation that he and Marianne are like figure-skaters, improvising their discussions so adeptly and in such perfect synchronization that it surprises them both. She tosses herself gracefully into the air, and each time, without knowing how he's going to do it, he catches her.
Helen has given Connell a new way to live. It’s as if an impossibly heavy lid has been lifted off his emotional life and suddenly he can breathe fresh air. It is physically possible to type and send a message reading: I love you! It had never seemed possible before, not remotely, but in fact it’s easy. Of course if someone saw the messages he would be embarrassed, but he knows now that this is a normal kind of embarrassment, an almost protective impulse towards a particularly good part of life. He can sit down to dinner with Helen’s parents, he can accompany her to her friends’ parties, he can tolerate the smiling and the exchange of repetitive conversation. He can squeeze her hand while people ask him questions about his future. When she touches him spontaneously, applying a little pressure to his arm, or even reaching to brush a piece of lint off his collar, he feels a rush of pride, and hopes that people are watching them. To be known as her boyfriend plants him firmly in the social world, establishes him as an acceptable person, someone with a particular status, someone whose conversational silences are thoughtful rather than socially awkward.
There’s always been something inside her that men have wanted to dominate, and their desire for domination can look so much like attraction, even love.
He was like a freezer item that had thawed too quickly on the outside and was melting everywhere, while the inside was still frozen solid. Somehow he was expressing more emotion than at any time in his life before, while simultaneously feeling less, feeling nothing.
It’s funny the decisions you make because you like someone, he says, and then your whole life is different. I think we’re at that weird age where life can change a lot from small decisions. But you’ve been a very good influence on me overall, like I definitely am a better person now, I think. Thanks to you.
Marianne
She hates the person she has become, without feeling any power to change anything about herself. she is someone even Connell finds disgusting, she has gone past what he can tolerate. Now she knows that in the intervening years Connell has been growing slowly more adjusted to the world, a process of adjustment that has been steady if sometimes painful, while she herself has been degenerating, moving further and further from wholesomeness, becoming something unrecognizably debased, and they have nothing left in common at all.
Connell
This, after all, is the literal level on which the incident took place. She asked him to hit her and when he said he didn’t want to, she wanted to stop having sex. So why, despite its factual accuracy, does this feel like a dishonest way of narrating what happened? What is the missing element, the excluded part of the story that explains what upset them both? It has something to do with their history, he knows that. Ever since school he has understood his power over her. How she responds to his look or the touch of his hand. The way her face colours, and she goes still as if awaiting some spoken order. His effortless tyranny over someone who seems, to other people, so invulnerable. He has never been able to reconcile himself to the idea of losing this hold over her, like a key to an empty property, left available for future use. In fact he has cultivated it, and he knows he has.
What’s left for them, then? There doesn’t seem to be a halfway position anymore. Too much has passed between them for that. So it’s over, and they’re just nothing? What would it even mean, to be nothing to her? He could avoid her, but as soon as he saw her again, even if they only glanced at one another outside a lecture hall, the glance could not contain nothing. He could never really want it too. He has sincerely wanted to die, but he has never sincerely wanted Marianne to forget about him. That’s the only part of himself he wants to protect, the part that exists inside her.
When they drew apart Connell looked her in the eyes and said: I love you. She was laughing then, and her face was red. She was in his power, he had chosen to redeem her, she was redeemed. It was so unlike him to behave that way in public that he must have been doing it on purpose, to please her. How strange to feel herself so completely under the control of another person, but also how ordinary. No one can be independent of other people completely, so why not give up the attempt, she thought, go running in the other direction, depend on people for everything, allow them to depend on you, why not. She knows he loves her, she doesn’t wonder about that anymore.
He would be somewhere else entirely, living a different kind of life. He would be different with women even, and his aspirations for love would be different. And Marianne herself, she would be another person completely. Would she ever have been happy? And what kind of happiness might it have been? All these years they’ve been like two little plants sharing the same plot of soil, growing around one another, contorting to make room, taking certain unlikely positions. But in the end she has done something for him, she’s made a new life possible, and she can always feel good about that.
She closes her eyes. He probably won’t come back, she thinks. Or he will, differently. What they have now they can never have back again. But for her the pain of loneliness will be nothing to the pain that she used to feel, of being unworthy. He brought her goodness like a gift and now it belongs to her. Meanwhile his life opens out before him in all directions at once. They’ve done a lot of good for each other. Really, she thinks, really. People can really change one another.
You should go, she says. I’ll always be here. You know that.
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BBC’s The War Of The Worlds blog - Episode 1
(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)
I was very much looking forward to the BBC’s adaptation of the H.G. Wells sci-fi classic. How could I not? It’s the definitive alien invasion story that jump-started an entire genre of science fiction Not to mention this is the first adaptation made by a British film company and actually set in the time period it was written. I was very excited. Nothing could possibly dampen my spirits... until I learned who was writing it.
Peter Harness is a writer I’ve been less than kind to in the past. For those who don’t know, he wrote some of the worst episodes of Doctor Who. Remember that stupid story about the moon being an egg? Yeah, that was him. He also has a penchant for writing painfully forced and thinly veiled allegories with all the grace and subtlety of a ballet dancing rhino in a glow in the dark tutu. Kill The Moon, for example, was a pro life metaphor that portrayed the other side as being irrational baby killers, and his Zygon two parter was about Muslim immigration and integration, with the slimy repulsive Zygons being used as stand-ins for Muslims and non-white immigrants.
Harness’ ability to write allegorical stories about sensitive topics is... under-developed, to say the least. So naturally he’s the perfect candidate to adapt one of the most beloved sci-fi stories ever written. I mean, why not? The BBC have already ruined Sherlock Holmes, courtesy of Steven Moffat. Why stop there?
In all seriousness, while I wasn’t excited about the prospect of Harness getting his grubby mitts on War Of The Worlds, part of me hoped that maybe he could pull something out of the bag. You may recall I held a very similar negative view toward Chris Chibnall, and his first series as showrunner of Doctor Who was an extremely pleasant surprise. Maybe Harness could achieve his own metamorphosis.
He doesn’t.
The first episode of War Of The Worlds was fucking tedious to sit through. It actually looked quite promising initially. We get some nice moody shots of the surface of Mars as Eleanor Tomlinson recites the famous opening lines of the book. But then just after the opening titles, it all goes downhill.
I was sceptical when it was announced that this would be a three parter because that just seemed too much. A feature length film you could do. Maybe a two parter, at a push. But three episodes? Each an hour long? That’s going to require a lot of padding, and that’s exactly what Episode 1 is. We see the Martian cylinders launch from the planet at the beginning of the episode and it’s not until the forty minute mark where we get our first proper glimpse of the Tripods or the heat rays. So what do we get in the mean time? Mostly pointless shit.
The original War Of The Worlds book isn’t exactly remembered for its characterisation. Outside of the astronomer Ogilvy, none of the characters even have names, but to be fair to Wells, the characters themselves weren’t really the driving force of the narrative. The Martians were. The narrator, a journalist, was merely there to relay and facilitate the plot, giving us a first hand account of the subjugation of Earth. Fine for a book, but somewhat harder to get away with in a film or TV series, which is why most don’t even try. Every single adaptation of War Of The Worlds attempts to expand on the central characters to varying degrees of success, and the BBC version is no exception. But where Harness really miscalculates is in anticipating how much the audience is going to care about the characters, to which the answer is ‘not that much.’ We don’t want them to die obviously, but we’re not so interested in who they are or where they come from because they’re not the main focus. The Martians are. So to have a significant chunk of the episode focusing on their day to day lives is quite baffling. Not to mention unbelievably boring.
George, played by Rafe Spall, is living out of wedlock with Amy, played by Eleanor Tomlinson, which causes their neighbours’ tongues to clack and net curtains to twitch. The only person supporting their union is Ogilvy, played by Robert Carlysle, which is how they learn about the mysterious goings on the surface of Mars. This is all established in the first five minutes, but as I said, the Martians don’t properly show up until the forty minute mark. Until then we’re subjected to painfully forced and tediously dull ‘right on’ posturing and irrelevant social commentary that adds nothing to the core narrative.
Here’s the thing. I’ve got nothing against the idea of expanding the characters. I definitely have no problem with giving the narrator’s wife from the book more development and screen time. In fact I’m all in favour of it. What I do have a problem with, however, is when that expansion and development comes at the expense of the plot.
A man and a woman shacked up together in defiance of society is all well and good, but what does any of this have to do with War Of The Worlds? It’s not even as if Harness tries to connect this back to the story’s main themes of imperialism and colonialism. It’s mentioned that Amy was born and raised in India. Maybe if she was an Indian woman, it could have been more thematically relevant, but no. Once again we have a period drama with no people of colour because, as we all know, non-white people weren’t invented until 1962. Also, while I get that society at the time was very strict, I’m not entirely convinced George and Amy’s relationship would have been that scandalous to the point where it would have affected his career as a journalist. That just seems like a step too far and is merely there to add some artificial tension... in a story about Martians invading the Earth.
In the end it all comes down to this. Why the fuck should I care? What’s the bloody point of this? Yes it expands the characters, but it doesn’t contribute anything to the narrative. It just wastes time. Again, I must stress, we don’t get our first Martian until forty minutes into an hour long episode. Previous adaptations never felt the need to bore the audience to death with pointless shit because they knew what audiences came to see. Martians blowing shit up. Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of War Of The Worlds from 2005 didn’t piss about giving us needless exposition about Tom Cruise and his family. We’re given the basic info about the characters and their relationships within the first ten minutes before the Tripods emerge and the action gets going. The BBC version, in contrast, is just painfully slow, dictating every tiny thing about these characters even when it’s not relevant to the plot.
And the thing is, once we actually get to the bits from the actual book (you know? The bits people actually want to see?), it’s actually pretty good. The Tripod looks incredible, as was the scene in Horsell Common where we saw people getting killed by the heat ray. Unfortunately we have to slog through all this other crap before we can get to the good stuff.
Eleanor Tomlinson probably gives the strongest performance as Amy. It’s just a pity the character is so utterly uninteresting. Like I said, I’ve got nothing against giving her a bigger role than she had in the book, but it feels like Harness is more interested in showing off his feminist credentials than actually telling a story or creating a believable or likeable character. Her being an assistant to Ogilvy I think is a great idea, but it soon becomes clear that this was only done so other male scientists could comment on how unusual it is to have a woman digging up a crashed cylinder, which is kind of ridiculous because I’m pretty sure female scientists did exist back then and you don’t exactly need a penis to use a fucking shovel. Then things turn really stupid when George’s brother, played by Rupert Graves, starts blaming her for the Martian invasion, saying that everything was going fine until she came along. Exploring 19th century sexism is one thing, but this is just daft. There’s no interest in actually exploring the root causes of sexism back then. Instead Harness seems content with portraying men as being the equivalent of cartoon caricatures foaming at the mouth.
George, meanwhile, goes from being a fairly boring character to a downright hateful one when it’s revealed that he and Amy aren’t just living out of wedlock, but that he cheated on his missus because she was infertile. So not only do I not care about him, I now straight up want him to die because what the actual fuck?! And this is not helped by Rafe Spall’s incredibly wooden performance. Seriously, I’ve seen corpses with more life in them. When the Tripod first emerges, we see him stare at it in what I assume was supposed to be shock, but instead he just looked gormless. It’s honest to God one of the worst performances I think I’ve ever seen. There’s no emotional range to him whatsoever. He just blunders around wearing a confused frown on his face. It’s as if he had just wandered onto the set by mistake.
The biggest problem with this first episode is that Harness is focusing on all the wrong areas. A large segment is dedicated to George investigating the Dogger Bank incident, which seems to be an attempt at making a parallel between the UK’s tenuous relationship with Russia then and now. What this has to do with War Of The Worlds, I don’t know. There’s so far been no attempt at exploring the themes of the source material as we’re too busy with this shitty romance. There’s even a moment where we see the characters dig up the cylinder and take a photo only for the same exact scene to happen five minutes later. I mean for fuck sake!
And then there’s the pointless plot twists. First we get the cliched pregnancy reveal, then it’s revealed that the scenes we thought were on Mars turned out to actually be a post apocalyptic Earth with Amy and a seven year old kid who is presumably her son. Wait, how long has this fucking invasion been going on for?! It only lasted a couple of weeks in the book! What happened? Did the Martians get vaccinated? This just highlights to me how inept Harness is as a writer. He can’t just do a straight adaptation of War Of The Worlds. He has to engineer these pointless and utterly idiotic cliffhangers to get people to keep watching because the story and characters clearly aren’t doing that.
If I wasn’t committed to reviewing this mini-series, I honestly wouldn’t watch the rest of this. This first episode is legitimately terrible. Boring, poorly thought out and utterly, utterly clueless. Just like everything else Peter Harness has ever written. I don’t understand why he was chosen to adapt War Of The Worlds and I don’t understand why he chose to adapt it in this way. Why so much focus on pointless exposition? Why over-complicate the lives of the main characters? Why can’t they just be a normal married couple living a life of privilege until the Martians come and trample all over it? It makes no sense! Some could defend this saying it was building tension until the Martians emerged, but there’s a significant difference between making an audience nervously anticipate the Tripods arrival and making them wait impatiently for something, anything, interesting to happen.
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For a danny phantom avengers prompt from your reblogged list, maybe "could you blink, or something? Youre starting to freak me out." please?
Danny groaned as he sat up, blinking his eyes furiously in a futile attempt to make his vision more clear.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as the sounds of combat around him drowned out everything else. Everything hurt, but didn’t at the same time, and he didn’t understand why. There was something that was lighter about him too. Sure, he could float anytime he wanted, but he still felt weight when he did so. Now he felt like he would disappear completely if a strong breeze came.
When he opened his eyes again it was less intense, and his vision had more or less corrected himself. He got up, allowing himself to float a couple of inches off of the ground, and looked around.
Buildings and streets were in complete ruins, a fire hydrant was, well, on fire, and the sky was stained with ash and smoke. He flew around for a minute longer, looking for any signs of his team.
“Oh my god,” someone said behind him. He turned towards the direction of the sound, and came face to face with Hawkeye, who was looking at him like he had two heads. That had happened only once before, and it hadn’t even been that bad, because Danny having two heads was most certainly not the weirdest thing that Clint had ever seen. He knew that for a fact.
“Clint, where are the others? And the villains? Did we win?” Danny asked him. But Clint didn’t say anything. he just kept staring. He was so distracted he dropped his bow.
Danny, thinking lint probably, hopefully didn’t have his hearing aids in, signed his questions. Clint still didn’t answer. It was like he was frozen, rooted to the spot, as if Medusa had come out of mythology and looked him in the eyes.
“Could you blink, or something?” Danny asked, exasperated. Clint acting like this was getting annoying. “You’re starting to freak me out.”
Slowly, his hand moved towards his ear, and he called for the rest of the team to get there. If he was doing that, then they had won.
It didn’t take very long for the others to get there. When everyone but Iron Man was there, they all had the same reaction as Clint. Dumbstruck and speechless.
“Can somebody please tell me what is going on?!” Danny cried out.
Just at that moment, Iron Man landed, and what-who he was holding made Danny’s stomach do flips.
Iron Man was holding him. His body. Danny looked at himself in Iron Man’s arms for what seemed like years, before finally building up the courage to look down at his own hands, which is not something he had done before.
He could see right through them. His hands were there, he could see them, but he could also see the broken road through them as well.
“I’m...I’m fully dead...”
“Kid,” Iron Man said, laying down Danny’s body gently. There were gashes everywhere, but the one that had caused him to die was a deep one at his throat. His hands were covered in dried up ectoplasm.
Then it all came back to him.
The fight. The energy slice he’d been hit with. It had thrown him back, and he hadn’t been able to breath, even in his ghost form. Then he blinked, groaned, and got up. He had walked right out of his body, unable to bond with it now that his human half was dead.
“Are you okay?” Sam asked, taking a small step forward. His voice was soft and caring. He had gone into Therapist Mode.
“...Yeah...I mean, I’m still here. As a ghost.”
“Then why are you transparent like that?” Natasha asked. She looked legitimately sad. He knew she would probably drinking a few later.
“Because he’s lost a lot of ectoplasm.”
Everyone turned to the side, only to see Clockwork, floating a few inches off the ground and looking forlorn. He turned into an old man. “He needs to return to the Ghost Zone to, how you say, recharge. He’s weak at the moment. Earth won’t help you survive now, Daniel.”
“Did you know this was going to happen?” Danny asked.
“It was one of the possibilities. In the line of work you’ve chosen it always has been. It just so happened to be today, rather then next time you fight off an alien invasion. I’m...Sorry, Daniel.”
He meant it. Danny knew he did, and he wanted to be mad at Clockwork, but...He was right. This was bound to happen sooner or later. Unfortunately for him it had been sooner.
“So...What now?” He asked. His voice was quiet, but Clockwork still managed to hear him perfectly.
“We go to the Zone, and you can finally enter your layer. I’m sure you’ll find it...Unexpectedly warm.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Iron Man asked. He was legitimately angry with the older ghost.
Clockwork sighed. “I’m sure a few of you know about his battle with Pariah Dark, the old tyrant king of the Ghost Zone. Danny defeated him, and now that he’s a full ghost, he’s now the king.”
This was the least cryptic thing Danny had ever heard him say, and he was taken aback. Him? King?
“Have your funeral, for it is still a sad day,” Clockwork told the Avengers. “But rejoice, for he had a second chance to do some great work, both in this one and his. Now, come Daniel, we must get going.”
Danny nodded, and turned to the Avengers.
“I’m sure you know that if I could hug you right now I would...And I’m sorry. But I’ll...I’ll be back. I promise.”
---------
They had the funeral less then a week later. They and several other heroes that Danny had met came and said something sappy and sweet about him. By the end of everything there wasn’t a single dry tear in the crowd.
Danny had had a favorite park. It wasn’t Central Park, but a smaller, more mundane one, where the trees were plentiful and there were happy kids running around. Whenever he was upset that’s where Steve or Tony would always find him, and always under the same large maple tree. They dedicated the tree to him, and built him a statue in the middle of it.
Tony visited that tree for an entire month straight. Steve filled up three whole sketchbooks of Danny. Clint and Natasha hit up a new dive bar every night, to forget about the death of their friend. Sam wrote out his feelings, and it still wasn’t enough. Not until he cried for four hours the third night he tried doing so. Thor went to Asgard, and held a ceremony for Danny, praising his efforts as a Midgardian hero, and as the new King, Slayer of Pariah Dark. Bruce locked himself in a lab, or in his room with a good book, but when it wasn’t enough he would take a walk to the flower cart two blocks from the tower, buy some white and pink carnations, and lay them at Danny’s grave.
They all knew he’d be back eventually. But everyday without him still hurt. It cut them deep like nothing every had before. They had lost a loved one, the best of them, and they weren’t ever going to get him back.
---------------
It was five years later when it finally happened.
They were all sitting in the living room, doing something to entertain themselves, but all still enjoying each others company equally when a bright green, swirling portal emerged out of nowhere.
Danny, taller and older, stepped through. He had a crown of ice, and a long, flowing cape. He smiled at them warmly, despite the temperature of the room having gone down.
“Hey, guys,” he said. “Sorry it took me so long.”
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The Secret Book Club Part 3
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Content/Warnings: If you squint, there’s sorta fluff? Though not with the god of mischief 😜 But more than anything there’s angst. You guys should have known that was gonna come sooner or later! Also minor spoiler for Ragnarok!
Words: 1864
Prompt: LOKI X READER WHO SHARE BOOKS AND READ TO EACHOTHER AND LOTS OF FLUFF HHH THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE PLEASE
Anon I promise we’ll get to your fluff soon, but it’s always so much fluffier when it’s built up, don’t you think? As always if you want to be added to the tag list, inbox me!
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Part one
Part two
Part four
Part five
Part six
Part seven (NSFW)
You threw your phone onto the floor as soon as you’d sent the text. Yes. Yes? What kind of answer is that? Sitting down on the floor beside your bed you pulled your head into your hands, knees drawing themselves to your chest. You tried to comprehend what was happening as you heard your phone vibrate. You didn’t want to see the answer, drawing your head up you gazed at your bookcase, your eyes scanning every spine. He’d read them all, he liked your books and you had to go and ruin the perfect set up by panicking as usual.
Falling onto your stomach you grabbed your phone and crawled back into your position on the floor. Flicking the screen on you were surprised to see that it was a text from Thor instead.
‘May I speak with you Y/N?’
Thor had picked up earth technology very quickly and knew a great deal about how everything worked, though he wouldn’t let Tony in on his secret. No it was much more fun tinkering with things then getting him to fix them instead.
‘Of course Thor, what’s wrong? Everything okay?’
Standing up you decided to change into warmer clothes while you waited for a reply. The seasons had begun to change and Tony refused to let you put the central heating on just yet much to your dismay. “It’s practically summer still Y/N!”
“Summer still my arse...” You mumbled, throwing a fluffy jumper over your head. There was a brief knock at the door, you panicked a little thinking that it was the mischievous god. Shaking your head to yourself you realised it couldn’t be, he hadn’t done the secret knock.
Frowning you opened your door to reveal Thor, “Walk?” He smiled. Nodding silently you pulled on some trainers and followed him down the corridor. “You’re cold.” He mumbled, eyeing your thick fluffy jumper with distaste. You wondered why but ignored it as he stopped abruptly in a narrow corridor.
You watched as he opened his mouth before looking up at the ceiling, seemingly collecting his thoughts.”Thor just spill it.” You wanted this over as quickly as possible. You were still pretty stressed about the whole Loki situation and needed to concentrate on that more than anything else, but you still wanted to be a good friend to Thor.
He placed one of his large hands on your shoulder and looked down at you, “Y/N. You’re like the sister I never had.” He paused and scrunched his face, “Well I did have a sister but she ended up destroying our home but, you get the idea.” He rushed before smiling gently again. “You’re like a sister to me and that’s why I want you to know that you can tell me anything.”
His words were sweet and made you a little emotional but you still didn’t quite get where this had all come from. You narrowed your eyes, “Is this because of that box of sex toys?” You asked quickly, avoiding his eyes a little as you relived the memory. You held your hands up ���Because Thor you don’t have to worry about me, I don’t have a sex problem if that’s what you were thinking. I mean -”
Thor rubbed his chin and laughed a little. “- what’s so funny?”
“I may pretend that I am dim Y/N, however I see much more than people think.” Your heart dropped into your stomach as images of Loki flashed in your mind. You tried to play calm and neutral, pretending that you didn’t know what he meant with a shrug of your shoulders.
“Loki was never one to do things half hearted.” You froze as he started to walk. Remembering how to use your legs you hurried after him. “He’s always been bold and obnoxious and arrogant to a fault but he’s still my brother.” Stopping he turned to you quickly. “I’m not blind, Y/N.” He looked at you expectantly, though you weren’t really sure what you were meant to say.
“Why didn’t either of you tell me that you two are together?” Wait, what? “Loki needs you like...like...” He stopped, trying to find the right words. “Thor...”
Your heart broke for him, “Thor,” you spoke louder. He stopped his muttering as you placed a hand on his arm and shook your head. “Thor me and Loki aren’t together. We just...” You trailed off, trying to find the right words. “We’d sneak books to each other. He’d lend me his magic books, teach me a little and I’d lend him mine.”
Thors smile dropped as you carried on, “Then I was out of books and I panicked. I worried that if I didn’t find another book right then that he would leave and not bother anymore, and I didn’t want him to leave! So I threw that stupid copy of 50 Shades of Grey at his head and he did said that bloody thing at breakfast, so I planted those pants and then the box turned up and then we ended up here; both of us trying to outdo the other...” It really had been a whirlwind 24 hours, you glanced up at your friend. “But now I’m scared.” Retracting your hand back you fiddled with your jumper, avoiding the thunder gods gaze you stared at his shoes.
“Thor I don’t know what to do. I - I don’t want to lose Loki, but I never really had him to lose...He’s my best friend and...” Your voice grew thick as emotions you’d suppressed for a long time began to surface, you quickly wiped at your eyes. “ I preferred the emptiness when I didn’t know it was there.” You sniffed, feeling hopeless and just so tired.
Thor pulled you in for a hug and held you tight, squeezing you as you let out a quiet sob. “Y/N,” He sighed, his chin resting on your head. “Loki’s heart is a simple one, it only has two settings ‘not at all’ or ‘too much’ and I think I know which one it’s set too with you.” Squeezing him a little tighter you nodded, understanding what he was trying to say. “Talk to him,” He bade “not through texts or pranks. Just talk with him.”
He pulled you away slightly, keeping you within his arms he pursed his lips. “I’m glad it’s you Y/N, I could think of no one better.” And with a ruffle of your hair he turned, walking away down the corridor.
Glad what was me? No one better for what? Hugging yourself you left with your thoughts a jumbled mess and eyes redder than when you arrived. You walked until you reached the turn for Loki’s room. You could avoid him. You could do what you did with everything in life and simply avoid the pain and heartbreak by avoiding him.
Something was different this time though, you thought, forcing yourself to walk to his door. You didn’t want to avoid this time because you needed him in your life. “Even if it’s just as a friend.” You reassured yourself, knocking three times.
Movement was coming from behind the door as your heart rate picked up, your face flushed red and the tears were there behind your eyes as he pulled the door open.
He had a surprised look on his face when he saw you standing there, though it quickly turned to one of concern as he took in your puffy eyes and fidgeting hands. “What...Who...?” He stumbled, his green eyes searching yours.
You shook your head and stepped under his arm into his room. He’d had it decorated as soon as he’d arrived in stark white, though his belongings and accessories were all green and gold. You heard him shut the door and take a few steps in, lingering behind you.
Your eyes fell onto the trio of books sat neatly on his bedside table. You shook your head and turned to face him, “No.”
He raised an eyebrow, “No to all this, this pranking Loki. No more deliveries or staging or flirtatious texts!” Feeling the tears form you blinked them back, “No more. And for the record, I’m not crying because I’m upset okay? It just happens when I get angry,” You turned away and sat on the chest at the end of his bed. “just be thankful I’m not turning Bruce Banner on your ass.”
Loki stood stock still in his position as he watched you wipe your face on your sleeves, his expression giving away nothing. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
Your words seemed to have woke him up as he moved to speak. “I made you angry?” He questioned, his voice more vulnerable than you’d heard it before, much softer as he moved with quiet grace to the space next to you. Sniffing you nodded and shook your head together, “Yes, but no too.” His hands were still in his lap, “I’m not angry Loki I just...I wish I could erase the past day and we could just go back to how things were.” He turned his face away from you, but you saw the hurt on it. “Back to the easy friendship we had with our books -”
“Our easy friendship.” He spat, standing and pacing. “If you wish to go back to that then fine. We’ll go back to sneaking around in the early hours of the morning, telling no one of each others existence and pretending that nothing is happening.”
You frowned as he grew more agitated by the second. His handsome face was pulled downwards, “Loki -”
He shook his head vehemently, “Don’t Loki me as if you’re so innocent in all this!” You stood in anger, Loki standing still before you too. “Every flirtation I sent your way you sent back, every game I played you played along and I thought we both wanted the same thing but obviously I’ve grown too soft and blind.” He yelled, making you shrink a little. His height caused him to loom over you like a dark cloud, you matched his gaze and dug your nails into your palms.
“I’ll just leave then shall I? I don’t have to put up with this!” You cried, trying to ignore the feeling of your heart breaking. “I’ll just go and you’ll never have to see me again if you don’t want, it’s a big compound. I’m sure we could come to some sort of arrangement.” You laced your words with sarcasm like he laced his weapons with poison.
You stared him down and wanted him to say something, anything and you would stay. You’d plant yourself like a seed and stay and grow with him by your side for the rest of eternity if he would let you.
Instead he turned his face away and you had your answer. The ties that were holding you together snapped as you brushed past him towards the door, the tears flowing freely now. “It’s sad isn’t it?” Twisting the handle you paused and looked back at the prince, “I once thought worlds of you Loki,” With a broken voice you slipped into the corridor and cried “and now you’re just another lesson.”
#loki imagine#loki x reader#loki laufeyson imagine#loki laufeyson x reader#loki x you#loki laufeyson x you#loki drabble#loki fanfic#loki x oc#loki#loki laufeyson#thor ragnarok#thor#thor ragnarok imagine#thor imagine#marvel imagine#imagines blog#imagines#50 shades of loki#50 shades of grey#the secret book club#angst#loki angst
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Inside the Groundbreaking Queer Reboot of ‘She-Ra’ | Rolling Stone
We’re all shaped by the myths we grow up with, whether it’s the stories we learn from holy books or Saturday morning cartoons. Kids who see themselves as the hero learn to center themselves in their own life stories. Kids who see their experiences relegated to the sidelines, or not represented at all, come away with a very different lesson — one that can take years to unlearn.
Which is exactly what makes a show like She-Ra and the Princesses of Power so vital. Since its premiere in 2018, Noelle Stevenson’s reboot of the cult Eighties cartoon has joined a revolution in the world of children’s animation, combining classic genre storytelling with diverse representation and a progressive worldview (see also: Nickelodeon’s The Legend of Korra, Cartoon Network’s Adventure Time and Steven Universe). In its fifth and final season, which dropped on Netflix last month, She-Ra rounded out its 52-episode run by centering a queer romance — specifically, between its hero, Adora, and her best frenemy Catra — and positing that such a love can, quite literally, save the world.
“I knew from the start that it wasn’t going to be easy,” says Stevenson, speaking via phone from Los Angeles. “Because this is She-Ra. To have the culmination of her arc be this lesbian love plot is a big deal! And I understood that. But I also felt that it was really important.”
The original She-Ra: Princess of Power was a 1985 Filmation spin-off of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, which itself was based on a line of Mattel action figures. Set on the planet of Etheria, She-Ra follows a band of magical princesses in their rebellion against the Evil Horde, a totalitarian sci-fi regime bent on global domination. Adora is an ex-Horde soldier who joins the rebellion after she gains the ability to transform into She-Ra, a superpowered Chosen One with glowing blue eyes, a mystical sword, and a very cool outfit.
In 2015, when Stevenson, then 23, found out that DreamWorks Animation was looking for someone to pitch a new take on She-Ra, she jumped at the chance. She was already an Eisner Award-winning cartoonist and writer who had made a name for herself with works like her web comic-turned-graphic novel Nimona and the Boom! Studios series Lumberjanes.
“The world [of She-Ra] is so incredibly vibrant, and has so many powerful female characters. It’s this world that has all my interests rolled into one: It’s got the flying ponies and superpowers and all of these things that, immediately, I was like, ‘I want to do this. I want to be the one to do this,’” she says.
While Stevenson’s reimagination of the world of Etheria pays tribute to its predecessor, it includes some key differences. The reboot transforms the musclebound, scantily-clad grownups of the original series into awkward teens in much more practical (but still very sparkly) clothing. In addition to embracing a diversity of races, genders, and body types, the She-Ra reboot fleshes out the characters and their backstories, giving them fully-fledged arcs and complicating the good/evil binary of the original. The princesses of the rebellion aren’t simply heroic, and the soldiers of the Horde aren’t simply villains; everyone’s just a human being (or scorpion person or alien clone or flying horse, as the case may be) trying to make their way in a world that doesn’t offer easy solutions. It’s also, incidentally, really funny.
For Stevenson, it was crucial that the characters felt three-dimensional, and that it was their choices that guided the direction of the storytelling. “The characters all began with a deep personal flaw, and the process of making the show was kind of giving them the room to process those flaws. But we wanted it to feel organic. We wanted the characters to feel like real people that we knew,” she explains.
From the start, She-Ra’s most compelling tension was always between Adora (Aimee Carrero) and Catra (AJ Michalka), Adora’s childhood best friend who becomes her bitterest rival after Adora leaves the Horde to join the rebellion. In the show’s first four seasons, the two continually fight and reconcile and break apart again, their obsession with each other marking them as something more than frenemies.
“It’s a dynamic that I find really interesting: the attraction and the tension between the villain and the hero, especially when they know each other better than anyone. They love each other, but there’s something between them that cannot be overcome,” Stevenson says.
Stevenson always knew that she wanted the relationship between Catra and Adora to be a romantic one; but she had to walk a fine line, because she didn’t know if the studio would give her the go-ahead to put an explicitly lesbian love story front and center. At first, as in Steven Universe, Rebecca Sugar’s radically progressive series that aired its final episodes earlier this year, she steeped the world of the She-Ra reboot in queerness. The show features multiple side characters in same-sex relationships, characters who flout traditional gender roles, and even a nonbinary character (Double Trouble, voiced by transgender writer and activist Jacob Tobia).
Still, Stevenson, herself a gay woman, wanted young viewers to be able to see a queer relationship that wasn’t just incidental, but central to the plot of the entire series. “I’ve loved these stories my entire life, you know? I was a huge Star Wars and Lord of the Rings fan as a kid. But there weren’t a lot of characters that I felt personally represented by,” she says. “We love what makes these stories classic, but we’ve seen them all culminate in the same kind of romance so many times: The hero gets the girl, he gets the kiss, and then he saves the world. And it’s not just [swapping] the man and the woman for two women. You have to actually approach it from a standpoint of: How do you make these stories, at their roots, queer?
“So that’s what I was trying to do — for little queer kids to see that this is normal, that these are stories that can happen and that exist, and that can center them and make them feel seen and understood.”
Whether or not Adora and Catra’s romance would become canonical was in the hands of the studio, and it was a risk Stevenson couldn’t be sure it would be willing to take. So the show played a long game — hinting at a romantic dynamic between the two without making it explicit, for fear of disappointing fans in the end if they weren’t able to deliver. Fortunately, a groundswell of viewer support for a potential relationship between the characters — a phenomenon known in the fan community as “shipping” — allowed Stevenson to make a case to the studio for supporting the story she wanted to tell with She-Ra.
“Just as I had hoped, people started picking up on this tension and getting really passionate about it,” she says. “It was immediately one of the strongest fandom ships right out of the gate. And that was when I finally showed my hand and was like, ‘Look. We’ve got a bunch of people who, just off Season One, are really, really excited about the gay representation in this show. I have been planning for this. And here’s how it needs to end, and not just because I want a moment that everyone’s gonna talk about. It’s the logical conclusion of both their character arcs. They need each other.’”
Finally, after years of hedging their bets, Stevenson and her collaborators got the go-ahead from DreamWorks. “I really wanted it to be so central to the plot that if at any point they were like, ‘Oh, we changed our minds, we want to take it out again,’ they wouldn’t be able to, because it would be so baked in,” she explains. “The temperature is not always right, and depending on what’s happening in the world, not everyone wants to be the studio that sticks their neck out and makes a statement like this. You will get a flat ‘no’ sometimes. But if you bide your time, or you come at it from another angle, that can change. You just have to keep pushing.”
Feedback for the conclusion of She-Ra has been overwhelmingly positive both from critics and fans. Viewer support has been pouring out in the form of social media posts, YouTube reaction videos, and fan art and fan fiction. Stevenson, who first made a name for herself online with Lord of the Rings and Avengers fan art, has been blown away by the support from She-Ra lovers. “That’s how you know that you’re successful at what you set out to do — if people are getting inspired by the stories that you’re telling. I think that that’s the beauty of fan work, is that it’s an evolution of the genre. We take that inspiration and create something new all the time.”
Unfettered by restrictions, the final season of She-Ra is a tightly plotted, character-driven masterwork, featuring a slow-burn redemption arc, a harrowing villain, and a timely message about the power of love and unity against the forces of repression and tyranny. It’s a show about becoming kinder and more open in the face of unrelenting darkness, about banding together to prepare for the worst, but always hoping for the best in spite of overwhelming odds.
Stevenson says that she and her team began work on She-Ra in the aftermath of the 2016 election. “The veil was ripped off, and we had to reckon with a world that we hadn’t expected. And that theme of relying on each other and being stronger together became so much more relevant,” she recalls. “I remember writing one script after a particularly bad news day where it just felt like nothing was ever going to be OK again. It’s an episode where Adora realizes that there are supposed to be stars in the sky, and there aren’t any more stars. And as Aimee [Carrero] was recording the lines, she was crying, and we were crying, because we were all experiencing this together — the idea that things were changing in maybe irreparable ways.”
The refrain of She-Ra’s catchy-as-hell power-pop theme song is “We must be strong, and we must be brave.” According to Stevenson, that’s easier said than done; but the whole point of the series is that you have to try anyway. It’s a message that rings especially true at this moment in our world when it seems like everything is spinning out of control, and it’s all too easy to feel helpless.
“It always comes back to this — when you realize that there’s a great evil or a great darkness that won’t just go away from one fight,” Stevenson says. “It boils up, and it can be pushed back down, but it’s something that we’ll probably have to be fighting for the rest of our lives. That’s really hard to do, and it makes you really tired sometimes, and it can be really scary. But when you are surrounded by the people that you love, and when you have that love for the people around you, then that strength is possible.”
#she ra#she ra and the princesses of power#rolling stone#noelle stevenson#catradora#adora x catra#catra#adora#lgbtq#Jenna scherer#animation#cartoons#interview#representation
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fic: two for mirth 40/?
They go to Earth, of course. It’s the home world for humanity and the central seat of government for the United Planets of Terra. Karkat talks to prime ministers and attends hearings. He talks to activists and reporters supporting one position or another. A lot of the conversations are hostile, but Karkat argues them down. It’s not too much different from speaking for the Heiress, while Feferi was looking for allies prior to her Challenge. (It’s also not too much different from the alliance talks during the Challenge.)
Dave is brought up frequently as a bone of contention, or a trump card, as if his arguments were any less true because of Dave. (He’s not surprised that this would be the case.) Karkat finds himself arguing a lot about not only Dave, but Gamzee. Trying to explain Gamzee’s sense of humor and motivations are hard, and also a little exasperating. He doesn’t want to defend Gamzee, but at the same time, he feels he has to. Dave watches this for a few days, looking amused before he steps in during a talk show interview. “Master Makara probably didn’t know anything about the Empress’ plans to have the Emissary investigate the treatment of her gifts,” Dave says in answer to a question to Karkat, John translates. “I say probably because who even knows. I spent a perigee with him and I still couldn’t figure him out.”
Kamala Nguyen, their interviewer on a late night program frowns. “You have to admit it seems suspicious, that he would attempt to discredit--”
Karkat is about to interject angrily when he’s surprised by Dave making a warning sound. It’s a loud blatting buzz with his mouth and fingers, a fairly accurate impression of the sound that indicates that a hatch or gate hasn’t been closed correctly. Ms. Nguyen straightens, looking surprised. “Nope,” Dave says in English. “Master Makara would never try to discredit Karkat. They’re moirails and that’s kind of important. This is more of what he’d call a prank from the Mirthful Ones, I think. Something put in motion like we’re all in a romantic comedy being written and directed by terrifying eldritch pranksters.” The rest is translated by John.
“A romantic comedy?” Ms. Nguyen asks skeptically.
“Well I’m sure master would like to be all ‘this is a political drama with some action’ but no, it’s a romantic comedy. In Which A Former Alien Gladiator and A Romance Author Are Thrown Together by Fate in the Form of the Author’s Highblooded Moirail Who Wants To Manage His Moirail’s Sadly Empty Quadrants. Featuring Pro Emancipationist Rhetoric a Slow Burn Romance a Number of Surprising Revelations Concerning the Highblood’s Actual Motives and Lots of Awkward Discussions About Consent. Warnings For Xenophilia, Quadrant Smearing and Aquadratic Characters,” John translates for Dave.
“Warning for Aquadratic characters is orientation shaming and inappropriate,” Karkat grumbles, because he can’t help himself.
“Little steps, master. Representation is important but we can’t shock our fan base,” Dave says in English. “Gotta let them know what they’re getting into.”
Karkat snorts. “‘We?’” he asks. “Still not ghost writing your memoirs, Strider.”
“You’ll have no choice; you’ll be lured closer to the pit by the smell of bad grammar and typos. Then my tentacles of prose will drag you under,” Dave says in English.
The conversation turns in the direction of the hypothetical memoir, then briefly back to Karkat’s position as Emissary before it’s time to end the interview.
After spending some time in the green room talking over the phone with Ampora they head back to the ship, Dave and John talking about the hypothetical memoir. “Are you really thinking about writing a memoir?” John asks Dave once they’re in the limo.
“I dunno, maybe,” Dave says. “I will totally write it as a romantic comedy though,” he says with a teasing glance at Karkat.
“You can write it like fan fiction,” Karkat says. “A coffee shop AU where you stumble into acting as an auspistice for Terezi and Gamzee.”
“Where are you in this fan fic?” Dave asks. “And am I customer at this coffee shop, or a minion of the coffee shop?”
“Minion. I am a mysterious benefactor who you at first only know by the sound of my voice,” Karkat says. “You don’t know until midway through the story that Gamzee is my moirail and Terezi is a good if exasperating hatefriend of mine.”
“Not a potential kismesis?” Dave asks, looking amused.
“Regrettably, I’m still myself in this story, and therefore pretty much all over the place in regards to my quadrants,” Karkat says. “Also, a mutant and a terrible choice for a concupiscent quadrant.”
“But my hapless flailing because of the ashen flirting awakens a spark of true pity and or sheer exasperation that inspires you to come to my rescue.”
“That and I’m pretty sure Gamzee and or Terezi will kill the coffee shop owner for punishing you for your interventions, rendering the workers’ lives even more complicated and unpleasant.”
“Gotta think about the lives of those ordinary workers, struggling to earn their allowances and buy their retirement,” Dave says, nodding.
“Are you flirting?” John asks, looking a little red in the face. “I’m pretty sure both of you are flirting.”
“That would be a thing that’s happening,” Dave says.
“Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Egbert?” Karkat asks.
“No!” Egbert says quickly. “It’s just hard to tell sometimes?”
“Don’t worry we’re not gonna start macking in the back seat,” Dave says.
“That’s really, really not likely to happen,” Karkat says.
“Master’s shy,” Dave says in a stage whisper to John.
“I have a sense of decorum,” Karkat says in an attempt at a quelling tone. Predictably, it just makes Dave grin.
Dave teases John all the way to the ship and Karkat joins in with an occasional comment of his own. Though there had been a few rocky incidents--like John’s attempt to rescue Dave by purchasing him--Karkat was beginning to feel more than a little hatefriendly toward the human. John was an intelligent if occasionally oblivious individual and watching Dave reduce John to sputtering near-nonsense was entertaining. (John occasionally won the bouts, though not by very much.)
Once in their quarters, they occupy themselves with social media, Karkat on the console, Dave reading on the human equivalent of a husktop, reading the reactions to the most recent interview. (They start a thread with each other on a forum site. Someone asks: Okay so you are both in the same room pretty much? WHY are you arguing with each other in this thread? Dave responds: sometimes is more comfortable to talk in text Karkat writes: YES. THIS IS MORE COMFORTABLE FOR ME ANYWAY AS MOST OF MY EARLY SOCIAL INTERACTIONS WERE VIA TEXT.) The conversation wandered off into the realm of early social development.
After an hour or two on social media they retreat for the couch and the entertainment center. Dave is exploring Terran musical genres so a lot of what they watch are music videos. Karkat notices a certain theme to the lyrics of a number of songs three songs into the most recent playlist and gives Dave a suspicious look. “‘Grind,’ ‘Pump,’ ‘I Want Your Honey’?” Karkat asks.
“Just some songs I want to try out for future dance routines,” Dave says with a little smirk.
“Pitch dancing to plainly red concupiscent songs?”
“I’m branching out, maybe,” Dave says. “Gonna master all the quadrant styles. Wait, what would ashen dancing look like? Or pale?”
“It wouldn’t look like anything,” Karkat says. “Well okay, there are artistic compositions about moiraillegiance and auspistism but the style you were being taught is a purely concupiscent style.”
“Maybe I should watch them, to practice for Terezi,” Dave says. “Get all pale seductive in her grill.”
“She gets sad, doesn’t always believe that she’s done anything good or worthwhile, which is plainly idiotic, but depression generally doesn’t make sense anyway,” Karkat says. “Make her breakfast, make her go out to see the moons every so often; she’s actually worse than Sollux if she isn’t on a case.”
“Spilling the beans on your hatefriend?” Dave asks, smiling a little.
“Relaying easily observable facts,” Karkat says, mock-defensively. “Such as a playlist with a theme, and you not answering my question.”
“Your question was literally just repeating song titles, master,” Dave points out. “I have no idea what you mean.”
“Implied question: are you setting a mood here or something?” Karkat asks. He’s surprised to see a faint blush on Dave’s cheeks.
“Maybe,” Dave says, averting his gaze slightly. “So I figured either you thought I wasn’t ready for the full sex, or you weren’t ready, therefore, mood music.”
Karkat felt his own face heat up, which was ridiculous. He wasn’t some newly Ascended flush ingénue; he was an adult, dammit. “Mood music. For me or you?” He asks dryly. “You should know my taste in concupiscent music by now; this isn’t it.”
“Well, fight over the remote to make the music stop, kissing, below the pants action,” Dave says. “It’s a romantic classic?”
Karkat pretends to consider it. “It’s acceptable, for a very pre-Ascension style romance like the Black Candy Crush series. ‘Two hatefriends meet for the first time and discover pitch feelings for each other and it’s adorkable.’”
“So you think my mad romance skills are on the same level as a romance book for wigglers?” Dave asks with a frown of not-quite-mock disappointment.
“Only a wiggler thinks there’s something wrong with reading romances written for wigglers,” Karkat says. “Wigglers are so desperate to grow up and matter they think rejecting what they liked as a wiggler is part of being an adult. It’s really sad.” Karkat sighs and shakes his head.
Dave stares at him. “I am not a wiggler,” he says. “Okay, you’re older than me by a few sweeps--”
“Five, at least,” Karkat says. “That’s a pretty considerable chunk of time, for a human.”
“Yeah, I would have been past my prime in another seven or eight sweeps. Maybe I still will be,” Dave says, and wiggles his eyebrows.
“You’ll be just as obnoxiously pitiful and I wouldn’t mind having you around, that is if you still had an interest in my decrepit ass,” Karkat says.
“I’ll push your four wheeled device out onto the patio every evening,” Dave offers. “Serve you soft boiled eggs and cool featherbeast broth for breakfast every morning; mock your collection of literary awards.”
“Heh.” Karkat leans in for a kiss, makes a surprised little grunt when Dave falls back onto the couch, taking Karkat along for the ride. “I’ve gotten one--oh.” Karkat can feel the line of Dave’s rigid bulge pressing up against him. It makes his bulge shift and press back. He starts to rise up a little, but Dave pulls him close.
“You’ve got one?” Dave asks mock innocently. “I’ve got one too, and I think it’s past time they had their first play date.”
Karkat sputters, somewhere between laughter and outrage; then Dave is kissing him again, and coherent thought fucks off, never to be seen again.
==>
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Note: I have started a Patreon for my original fic (I’d say early chapters of fan fic as well, for patrons, but I’d feel obliged to add all the previous chapters of my current projects which would be a pain. So that will have to wait for new fic projects, that I can start from the beginning.) I could really use the money: and more money means more fic! Check me out and hopefully sponsor me (or fill my tip jar in my blog’s side bar.)
#two for mirth#homestuck#gladiatorstuck#davekat#othercat2#asukaskerian#because I mention one of her fics#dave strider#karkat vantas
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emeraldfalconsims replied to your photo
“You know…I think Sandy Bruty might be a little bit insane. All during...”
You know, it occurs to me that with the way sim genetics work and the way you've set up the experiment, you have a very real possibility of breeding some hair/eye/skin colors right out of the population entirely.
Oh, I think that’s inevitable, actually. Partly, it’s because of my “selection bias” from the start, in that I knew I was going to have four specific characters in the mix -- Goopy, Sandy, Ben, and Komei -- because they’re my favorite pre-made Sims. They, unfortunately, have lots of “duplicate” genes between them -- 2 S1s, 2 S2s, 2 blond(e)s, 3 with light blue eyes, etc. Then, for the other four, it was a conscious attempt to bring in all the other genetic traits (and I succeeded in that I’ve got an S3, an S4, and all the hair/eye colors represented, although I’m a bit light on dominant genes...which actually might be good thing) while also not duplicating face templates, having four of each sex, AND trying to represent all 5 aspirations available in the game. It was difficult, and I didn’t actually succeed with the aspirations, as I had no Popularity Sim. But I’ve fixed that in the Horde of Nine. Not deliberately, though, since I did end up randomly assigning aspirations. Anyway, those biases resulted in a rather limited gene pool where certain traits have a high chance of propagation while others have little chance.
So, all that said:
I'm pretty sure green eyes are going to die out quickly. They're recessive and only Andrea Hogan has them and she's been one of the weakest breeders of the bunch. To date, she's only had two children, and the non-alien one has his father's light blue eyes. Both her kids likely have recessive green genes, but those might not ever be expressed in their own offspring. We'll see what the second born-in-game generation brings...
For that same reason and because of how skin genetics work in the game, S4 skin might go fairly quickly, too...although it'll be helped by the fact that I only have default replacement skins in the game, no custom gene-expanding skintones. So, an S4 parent breeding with an S3 would have a 50% chance of having an S4 kid...but of course not nearly so high a chance if they breed with an S1. Sooooo, we'll have to see how Andrea's one non-alien kid, who's also S4, breeds and, more importantly, with whom he breeds. I'm pretty sure that'll be the only other kid Andrea has, besides Elizabeth the alien kid, as she's nearing the age where conception is impossible.
S3 could possibly be weak because only Orlando has it, and it can easily be "diluted" by breeding with lighter-skinned Sims...which is all that he's done, so far. Although one of those kids does have S3, so...
Brandi has gray eyes, also recessive, but she's breeding well with multiple partners, so I'm pretty sure those genes have been spread around enough to last for a while, at least as a recessive that might pop up randomly.
Red hair might not last long. Of the original bunch, only Komei has it, and the double-redhead alien kid of his (GUESS WHICH ONE?) likely won't be breeding. But, if I'm remembering right, I think it's possible for two blond(e) parents to have a redhead kid out of nowhere. I could be remembering wrong, though. Also, Komei, to date, has had kids with four different partners, only one of whom was also a redhead, so there's lots of recessive redheads around. If they breed with the multitude of blond(e)s and blond(e)-recessives, red might be OK. I hope so. :)
Sooooo, in the end, it's looking like I'm probably going to end up with a bunch of folks with:
The alien, S1, or S2 skin tone
Alien or light blue eyes
Blond(e) hair, because of Ben and Sandy and their double-recessive-in-all-traits kids. Plus Marisa who had an alien kid with the blond-haired pollinator... with whom Sandy also had TWINS!) Lots of blond(e) genes floating around! (But at least I fixed Andrea's genes so that her genetic hair color is indeed black, not blonde. *eye roll* )
Also a good amount of brown hair, thanks to Brandi, Orlando, and the brown-haired PT, with whom Brandi had two kids.
ANYWAY! This is all very interesting to me for non-Simming reasons, too. (Warning: Lampooning creationism and a bit of politics ahead...)
I like engaging young-Earth Creationists (those who believe that the Earth is about 6000 years old because Genesis is a science book) in discussion/debate. They will often talk about "genetic information" by saying that evolution is impossible because it "requires an increase in genetic information, and that's impossible." (Even though it doesn't require such an increase in "information," -- whatever that is -- AND it's also not impossible to increase "information" -- if information = alleles -- anyway, via mutation. But that's all beside the point when it comes this.)
Anyway, I like to ask them to explain how post-Flood world human repopulation works from a genetic point of view. Since “genetic information can’t increase” and the Bible says that only Noah and his wife and his three sons and their wives survived the Flood and no one else, you start with only 4 people of each sex (which I did, too). You also (presumably) limit them to holy monogamous matrimony, so only four possible breeding pairs (which I didn't do with my 8, so I have 16 possible breeding pairs). Also, the Bible's sample is limited not just to 8 people from the same ethnic background but the four men are a father and three sons (thus making 3 of the 8 starting individuals virtually genetically identical unless they were born to different mothers and...oh, hey, I did kind of duplicate that with Ben, Sandy, and Marisa! Go me!) So, from that, how on Earth do you account for the "increase in genetic information" required to have the sort of genetically-diverse human population we see now?
To date, I've gotten three answers:
"Goddidit" from those who have no other answer, which is always the answer when they can't answer a question.
"Well, there might have been more people that survived somewhere" from those who don't perhaps realize that's not Biblical-literal at all, and also means that Godly genocidal global flood they love so much wasn't quite so global after all, so there goes their entire house of cards because the global Flood hypothesis is downright central to their entire theory...using that word in the non-scientific sense, of course.
And, my favorite, from those who tie themselves in knots so as not to invoke God in their creationist rhetoric in order to appear more "This isn't religion at all! It's science that ought to be taught in place of -- I mean, alongside of eviolution in public schools, all in the interest of ‘fairness!’" in their stance: "Those 8 people had 'more genes' to start with." Which, of course, means that 1) They have absolutely no idea what genes are or how they work and 2) Even if they were somehow right, then Noah and his family clearly weren't human, so...What? Humans as we know them today evolved (Or maybe "devolved," in their minds) practically overnight from those 8 super-non-humans even though God never said anything about creating any super-non-humans and, if he had, then the super-non-humans would all trace their lineage back to Adam and Even and they would be the ones made in God’s image, not us? But even if that was the case, then losing that extra "information" over time -- in order to somehow allow for humans with non-Israelite genetics -- ought to result in increasingly less diversity, not more, so...Yeah.
It's just so entertaining! (Well, except for the part where this is what the current administration as well as the newly-confirmed Secretary of Education would like to see taught in our public schools as science. It’s downright terrifying.)
Still, here I am in my little Sim-scenario, watching traits decreasing in frequency and perhaps eventually disappearing altogether right before my very eyes in an isolated population of eight. And that's without monogamy and with adding "information" in the form of alien alleles, too. Because -- Guess what?! -- TS2 genetics are based on real-world genetics. It’s greatly simplified, of course, but still... There we are. Never let it be said that Simming isn’t educational. I mean, with the way the US is headed, it might eventually be a better teacher of genetics than the public schools. :P
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Armies Of Darkness: 15 Heinous Henchmen Hordes
Ah, henchmen. They truly make the (evil) world go round. If it weren’t for the nameless, faceless masses that followed villains around to do their bidding, most rogues would likely be overthrown in a hot minute. With the recent reveal of the Putty Patrollers design for the new “Power Rangers” film coming out, we at CBR began to think about some of our favorite henchmen squads.
RELATED: The 15 Worst Villains In Batman: The Animated Series
Even though many of them are used as cannon fodder against heroes, members of these armies would still eschew their own unique identity and fight against insurmountable odds as part of an evil organization. That’s some pretty hardcore dedication there. So please, join us, as we recount some of the top henchmen armies that did their very best to spread the scourge of villainy on behalf of their gloriously evil leaders.
THE HAND
Why do evil ninja organizations make for the best henchmen armies? The Hand is one such group, originally assembled in the 16th century to empower the oppressed citizenry of rural south-central Japan, arming them first with martial arts training, and later with dark magic. Over the years, The Hand’s purpose twisted from defense to control. In the modern era, they have hatched numerous schemes involving everything from organized crime to summoning ancient beings, all in a bid to gain more power for their idol, known as The Beast. The ninja often use these The Beast’s dark powers to resurrect their dead warriors, making them unstoppable soldiers for their cause.
First appearing in Frank Miller’s “Daredevil” #174, The Hand has always posed a legitimate threat to the enemies they face. One such adversary is The Chaste, a band of warriors led by blind martial artist Stick. Another is Matt Murdock, whom most know as Daredevil. Regardless, the Hand poses a nigh insurmountable threat to anyone who opposes them. Their numbers are great, they are practiced in subterfuge and are not afraid to make sacrifices to further their reach of darkness. Even though they are largely defeated by Murdock time after time, the scale of threat they pose is no less intimidating.
PUTTIES
Where would Rita be without her Putties? These dime-a-dozen clay soldiers were often thrown by the handful at the Power Rangers in attempts to deter or otherwise stop them from catching on to the sorceress’ evil plans. The Putties were far from useless, though, as they could take on disguises of regular humans for more nefarious plots. In one such case, they took on a glamour to appear as children in Halloween costumes to lure Tommy (the Green Ranger) away from the rest of the Rangers and ambush him.
The Putties did also boast a little bit of fighting prowess when they would brawl with the heroes. For all their haphazard punching and kicking, though, their arguably most practised ability was getting beaten by the Power Rangers. Still, the Putties were stalwart in their loyalty to Rita and their mission to destroy the teenagers with attitude. Even if their never-ending battle was a losing one, their memory lives on in garbled speech, broken clay pieces and a legacy that will continue in the upcoming live-action “Power Rangers” movie.
BLACK DRAGON SOCIETY
This fictional henchmen army is a pretty interesting one, as it’s actually based on a real-life organization of the same name. The original Black Dragon Society was a right-wing paramilitary organization in Japan during WWII, dabbling in espionage and heavy political influence during the conflict. The Society in the comics, however, spanned several different companies and committed a variety of villainous acts. Throughout their appearances in the DC Universe, they stole military weapons, took hostages, coordinated violent attacks and fought anyone who stood in their path to world domination.
Created in the comics by Gardner Fox and Jack Burnley, the Society was never short on foes. In its “Master Comics” debut back in 1941, the Society was fighting Minute-Man, while in “All-Star Comics” they went up against the Justice Battalion. Even if they’re not directly involved with any heroes, the Black Dragon Society has maintained a presence as an ever-looming evil organization in comics throughout the years. That kind of henchmen legacy is hard to come by, but these guys have managed to do it with suitably subtle aplomb.
THE PHALANX
This cybernetic hive-mind species was co-created by writer Scott Lobdell and artist Joe Madureira, and debuted in “Uncanny X-Men” #312. The Phalanx is largely an abomination of the Technarchy aliens, but still just as formidable. These guys come to “life” when the Technarcy virus tries to infect organic lifeforms; so, pretty much anything it comes across that’s alive. The virus takes over the host, converting it to the hive mind and thus the Phalanx grows into an unstoppable horde. Over multiple appearances, they have spread their scourge among numerous lifeforms, from Earth’s mutants to the entirety of the Shi’ar Empire.
While the Phalanx itself doesn’t serve a single consistent leader (apart from facilitators and “interfaces” like X-Men enemies Steven Lang and Cameron Hodge), the collective was more recently brought under the heel of the villainous Ultron for a time. Ultron influenced the hive mind to infect much of the Kree army in attempts to conquer its empire. Under the tyrannical robot’s orders, the Phalanx invaded much of the Kree’s territory, captured multiple heroes and enslaved many to its cause. Ultimately, the species were defeated during the “Annihilation: Conquest” event, but few henchmen armies can boast inter-galactic subjugation on their list of achievements.
PARADEMONS
Created by Jack Kirby in his legendary “New Gods” series for DC, the Parademons serve as shock troopers to the nefarious Darkseid, lord of the planet Apokolips. A good rule of thumb developed around the soldiers: if you saw a Boom Tube open up, expect a squad of these guys to come flying out shortly thereafter. Parademons are bred for aggression, often acting as an advance force for Darkseid’s numerous invasions. On top of having aerial mobility, these guys are usually toting some kind of firepower, be it advanced guns or fire breath (depending on the continuity). During invasions, the Parademons have come up against some of Earth’s finest including Superman, Wonder Woman and the Flash, just to name a few.
These interdimensional henchmen are simply not to be messed with. They are as ruthless as their leader Darkseid (though a bit more mindless), and are more than willing to die at his command. They are known for swarming en masse and detonating themselves if it means inflicting even the slightest damage on a hero. Even though they were usually just fodder in advance of Darkseid’s arrival, they still managed to get things done through their signature shock and aggression, even if they are always ultimately defeated.
THE DEADITES
When evil itself needs an army of henchmen, what works better than a horde of deadites? In the realm of “Evil Dead,” deadites are generally people (sometimes plants or animals, too) that have been possessed by malevolent Kandarian demons, usually after death. They function as a sort of collective force at the behest of the Necronomicon: a really, really, really evil book. The deadites exhibit all sorts of abilities, from superhuman strength to physical mutation. Many of them are able to fight after losing limbs or being injured, with only severing the head or outright obliterating their bodies being the surefire way to kill them.
The deadites are terrifying in that they only serve evil. Their purpose in life is destroy all that is good and wholesome, and they do so by masquerading as regular people until the time is right. They are malice incarnate, often twisting the appearance and memories of the people they possess to further torture those around them. When they are unleashed by the Necronomicon (or some other demon baddie), they are a downright scary force with which to be reckoned.
H.I.V.E.
When it comes to evil organizations full of henchmen, mission requirements tend to be “go big or go home.” Otherwise, why else would you need an army? This certainly was the case with the Hierarchy of International Vengeance and Extermination, a.k.a. H.I.V.E. The group operates with the sole intention of exterminating superheroes; a lofty ambition, indeed. Created by greats Marv Wolfman and George Pérez for “New Teen Titans,” H.I.V.E. is an evil collective dabbling in science and sabotage, rather than just relying on outright assaults. Serving a number of masters and mistresses, H.I.V.E. members set their sights high and worked to eliminate Superman and the Teen Titans during their debut.
While the group has had its ups and downs, it has managed to make itself known to the DC hero community. They have largely managed, in newer iterations (under the name “Holistic Integration for Viral Equality”) to have a public face to mask its various nefarious goings-on behind the scenes, which makes the group even more dangerous. Throughout tumultuous leadership changes (namely, its leaders being killed every so often), the henchmen of H.I.V.E. have remained unwavering in their mission to erase heroes from the world.
A.I.M.
Another group comprised of some of the best and brightest in henchmen, Advanced Idea Mechanics (or A.I.M. as it’s commonly known) was a large scientific branch of Hydra before breaking off to create its own sect. Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and originally called “THEM,” A.I.M. can often be found researching new and terrifying technologies in secret for years before unleashing them on the unsuspecting world. All members of this scientific army of doom toil away at projects to please the group’s board of directors, and of course, its leader, the Scientist Supreme.
A.I.M. has managed to trouble the world with many dangerous creations, such as the reality-bending Cosmic Cube and the villainous M.O.D.O.K. The members of A.I.M. are frightful in their no-holds-barred drive for scientific discovery and profit. They have also proven formidable, despite their collective beekeeper look. The A.I.M. network is vast and their resources significant, allowing them to tap into some of the brightest minds in the world. Luckily, A.I.M. has recently been repurposed for more altruistic means by former New Mutant and current Avenger, Sunspot, who bought A.I.M. out in a corporate coup. The group was even more recently folded into the American military and rebranded “American Intelligence Mechanics.”
TEAM ROCKET
Yes, it may be easy to write this one off since everyone remembers Jesse, James and Meowth (that’s right!), but these guys were only the most recognizable faces of the organization because they pestered Ash and his friends every other day. Team Rocket itself was a large operation full of henchmen, all of whom were hell-bent on stealing prized pokémon and using them to one day take over the world. The criminal group had a number of different branches staffed with countless members working to achieve the ideals of their villainous leader, Giovanni.
When not participating in the outright thievery of a trainer’s pokémon, Team Rocket were known to conduct experiments on the creatures to make them stronger and resell them to the highest bidder. The henchmen that comprised Team Rocket were undoubtedly cruel and ruthless, even though Jesse and James were seen as hapless dimwits. Their fellow members, on the other hand, were much more devout in their mission to “extend our reach to the stars above.”
GALACTIC FRIEZA ARMY
More commonly known as the Frieza Force, the Galactic Frieza Army was a massive military organization that cut a swath of destruction across the galaxy and seized numerous planets along the way. The army itself was comprised of a healthy combination of fanatical followers, enslaved species and folks conscripted into the organization for fear of reprimand from Prince Frieza himself. Regardless of their motivations, every henchman in the organization threw him, her or itself into the numerous conflicts Frieza started in his family’s bid for universal domination.
The Army shined in its forceful recruitment processes, lavishing in strong troops from thousands of conquered races. All of its soldiers pillaged without remorse when an attack was launched on a given planet, and surrender was never an option in their playbook. Not only that, the force had multiple allies across the galaxy, including a recently-revealed connection to the Red Ribbon Army. Even though pretty much the entirety of the army was wiped out by Goku during the Namek conflict, many of its henchmen continued to fight on, even resurrecting their dead prince after a time. Now that’s loyalty!
HYDRA
When it comes to world domination, few can compete with the evil organization Hydra. Another Lee-Kirby creation, the group is shadowy, subversive and absolutely twisted in doing whatever it can to accomplish its ideal of a new world. Priding itself on rebuilding and enduring through defeat, Hydra has served a number of leaders throughout the years; most notably Baron Wolfgang von Strucker and of course, the Red Skull. The henchmen of Hydra cover a full spectrum of ne’er-do-wells, from foot soldiers to assassins, spies and scientists. They really are a holistic terror organization.
Perhaps the most imposing thing about the army is its sheer global reach. Throughout their numerous appearances, henchmen from the organization have infiltrated groups around the world, including its nemesis, S.H.I.E.L.D., the United Nations and more. This is doubly scary when considering that many Hydra agents hide their affiliation with the group well, with no one person being the “face” of the organization (except for Deadpool’s “friend,” Bob). Hydra remains one of the biggest evil armies in the 616 and beyond, positively brimming with henchmen willing to devote themselves to the cause and shout “Hail Hydra!” while they do it.
LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS
Whenever something incredibly secretive and shady is going down in the “Batman” universe, it’s usually because of the League of Assassins. Created as an adversarial force by Denny O’Neil and Neal Adams, the League is a group comprised of the most elite warriors, serving their leader Ra’s Al Ghul in his goals of eliminating whomever he felt posed a threat to the natural world. A quintessential henchmen army, members of the League are subjected to brutal training and even brainwashing in order to uphold the ideals of the Demon’s Head.
Unlike many others on this list, League members are hardly cannon fodder. Assassins are practiced in subterfuge as well as combat, being some of the most formidable fighters in the world. They have often come up against Batman himself and in many cases, given him a run for his money. League warriors are also willing to die for Ra’s al Ghul, having few qualms about executing (or being executed) to fulfill his will. While they might not be as embedded as Hydra, the League of Assassins remains a group with a grim reputation that often strikes fear into those that hear its name.
THE FOOT CLAN
As we’ve seen earlier, evil ninja henchmen armies seem to be one of the best ways to tackle a cadre of heroes. Conceived of by TMNT creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, the Foot Clan is a group of ninjitsu warriors that serve out the villainous machinations of their leader, the Shredder. A direct dig at the aforementioned Hand organization (the Turtles were a parody-spinoff of Daredevil), the Foot actually gained some real street cred in its crusade against the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Its members have actively participated in drug smuggling, high-stakes theft and even outright assassination in order to gain more power and influence for the group.
Many of the Foot Clan soldiers are no match for the mutated turtles in individual combat, but their numbers are certainly their biggest strength. Throughout their media appearances, recruitment into the organization appeared to be hardly limited and even allowed young teenagers to join in the fray. The ninjas often used this to overwhelm the turtles in skirmishes in the hopes of overpowering them. Regardless of their success (or indeed, lack thereof), the Foot clansmen are always remembered fondly as endearing (if hapless) ninjas (or robots, if you were only watching the cartoon) getting whooped up on by a mutated turtle spouting one-liners.
COBRA
It’s hard to think about the G.I. Joes without sparing a thought or two about their arch nemesis Cobra. Created by Larry Hama and Archie Goodwin, Cobra is a fully-fledged army with ideals in direct contrast to that of the Joes. Answering to their leader Cobra Commander, members of this army would go up against their patriotic foes in a variety of ways. From regular infantry to the Crimson Guard, members of Cobra attacked from any angle they could to achieve Cobra Commander’s goals of wealth, power and the destruction of the Joes.
Throughout many of their iterations, Cobra operated mostly in secret. It gained a reputation as a shadowy organization, with many members hiding in plain sight. Many of the grunts were experienced fighters and saboteurs, unafraid of launching a full assault against the Joes if it meant a potential victory. Interestingly enough, Cobra isn’t as fanatical as other henchmen organizations on this list. Many of them would simply surrender to the Joes if they were outnumbered or defeated. Most Cobra members are more motivated by money and camaraderie at the end of the day than a hysterical need to please their commander.
STORMTROOPERS
As far as henchmen armies go, there are hardly many contenders that could boast the numbers and cultural cache that the Galactic Empire does with its Stormtroopers. Whether it be by land, sea or space, this army had all of its bases covered in its support of the Empire’s rise to power. The army’s combatants were different varieties of humanoid troops (originally starting out as clones) dedicated to mercilessly squashing Rebel forces at the behest of their leader, Emperor Palpatine, and his second in command, Lord Vader.
Even though they laughably couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn in their early appearances, they have since been revamped to appear even more cruel and brutal in more recent iterations (particularly in the comics). They are willing to brave the harshest of planets if it means implementing the Empire’s ideals and stopping the Rebel Army where they can. Their numbers appear infinite, given their clone origins, while their uniform appearance strips them of any cumbersome individuality. The Stormtroopers are an iconic and truly faceless enemy army that inspires fear from the moment they first set boots to the ground.
Which fictional faceless (if feckless) forces are your favorites? Let us know in the comments!
The post Armies Of Darkness: 15 Heinous Henchmen Hordes appeared first on CBR.com.
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‘But They’re Covered In Nipples’: The Story Of Destroy All Humans - Quill’s Scribbles
Another E3 has come and gone. There was some good announcements. Square Enix unveiled their Avengers game, Keanu Reeves came on stage to give us the release date of Cyberpunk 2077, Ubisoft are making another Watch Dogs set in London, and... um... what else happened?
Oh yeah!
DESTROY ALL HUMANS IS BACK!!!!!!
Yes, the cult classic Destroy All Humans is returning next year, developed by THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games. This was quite possibly the nicest surprise I’ve ever had. When the teaser trailer came up on my YouTube recommendations, I practically screamed the house down. It’s a level of excitement I felt when 20th Century Fox announced they were finally making a Deadpool movie.
Yeah. That excited.
Destroy All Humans was my favourite video game series growing up. I played the first two games non-stop on my PS2 and I even bought a Nintendo Wii and PS3 just so I could play Big Willy Unleashed and Path Of The Furon (yeah, we’ll get to them). Unfortunately, while the series was reasonably successful, it never quite broke through into the mainstream, and it ended up having a very short lifespan, making it one of the most underrated franchises of all time.
So, to mark the return of Crypto and Pox, I thought I’d take a retrospective look at the series as a whole. Analysing each game in the franchise and talking about what made them so good, whilst also looking at how it faded into obscurity and how THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games can hopefully avoid this fate with their remake.
Radioactive, Exploding, Zombie Cows
The first Destroy All Humans was developed by THQ and Pandemic Studios (the latter probably most famous for making the original Star Wars Battlefront games. You know? The good ones that weren’t overloaded with loot boxes and microtransactions) and was released in 2005 on the PS2 and Xbox. You play as a Furon warrior called Cryptosporidium 137, or Crypto for short, who is tasked with harvesting the brains of humans in order to extract pure Furon DNA from them. His leader Orthopox 13, or Pox, explains that the Furons are at risk of cloning themselves into extinction as they are unable to reproduce naturally due to a lack of genitalia and the DNA in their cloning banks are starting to degrade. Fortunately the Furons visited prehistoric Earth on their way back from destroying the Martians and took the opportunity to ‘let off some steam’ with the natives. As a result, humans possess a strand of Furon DNA that can hopefully restore the Furons’ reproductive organs. Unfortunately a secret government organisation called Majestic (a sort of cross between Project Blue Book and the Men in Black) have caught wind of the Furon invasion due to Crypto 136 crash landing in Roswell 10 years earlier. So Crypto 137 will have to be extra cautious in his quest to take over Earth.
The game was released four years after Grand Theft Auto III, which had completely revolutionised gaming with its open world sandbox. As a result, other companies were attempting their own open worlds and putting their own spin on them. While Destroy All Humans didn’t quite have the same scale as GTA, it made up for it with quality over quantity. The game offered six small open world areas for players to have fun in and its central premise was utterly captivating. After countless games where you had to fight alien invaders, Destroy All Humans allowed you to play as the alien invader.
Pandemic Studios completely embraced the alien invasion premise, giving the player a vast number of weapons and abilities to wreak havoc on planet Earth. You had access to weapons like the Zap O Matic, Disintegrator Ray and Anal Probe (no, really, there’s actually a gun called the Anal Probe and it’s as funny as it sounds) as well as mental abilities such as Psychokinesis, Hypnotism and the Cortex Scan, which allowed you to read the thoughts of humans and was also used to help maintain your Holoblob disguise in stealth missions. And if that isn’t cool enough, you also get your own flying saucer, which you can use to destroy buildings and landmarks. The game gave you a lot of freedom, essentially dropping you in a small destructible playground and telling you to go and enjoy yourself.
But the thing I loved most about the first game was the writing. The plot itself is actually pretty good with plenty of twists and turns as the military and Majestic become more and more desperate to stop you. And the humour, my God the humour! Honestly Destroy All Humans remains to this day one of the funniest games I’ve ever played. It’s use of satirical humour and 50s pop culture references never failed to make me chuckle. There was one moment that I’ll always remember where I scanned the mind of a police officer and it revealed that he was thinking about forming the Village People. If only he could find a cowboy, an Indian and a construction worker.
The game’s main source of comedy mostly came from poking fun at the culture and attitudes of the time period. 1950s America was of course gripped by ‘the Red Scare,’ which the game mocks frequently as we see Majestic and the US government try desperately to cover up alien activity by blaming the death and destruction on communists, to the point where it just gets more and more absurd. At the end of each mission, a newspaper headline is shown, often blaming recent events on freak weather or communist propaganda. Yes, that should explain perfectly why people’s heads are exploding and why the cows are glowing green. It’s all perfectly normal. No aliens here. What’s that? A little green man in a flying saucer is blowing up ice cream trucks? Damn you commies!
The game also pokes fun at 50s sci-fi B movies, often parodying and lampshading the tropes and gimmicks one would expect in a low budget sci-fi flick. For example, the game ends with you fighting a giant robot that houses the President’s brain. It’s fully aware of how ridiculous and stupid it all is and clearly revels in it. Killer robots, mind control, radioactive animals, mad scientists and secret government conspiracies galore. Destroy All Humans is very much a love letter to cheesy sci-fi.
But by far the biggest draw was the main characters. Crypto and Pox. They’re both such funny, wonderfully realised and likeable characters. Pox is voiced by Richard Steven Horvitz, who you may remember from Invader Zim, and he gives the character a maniacal glee. I honestly could listen to his rants all day. He’s the quintessential evil genius. Crypto meanwhile is voiced by J. Grant Albrecht, who gives the character a Jack Nicholson-esque voice. Unlike Pox, Crypto is crass, crude and craves destruction, which often puts him at odds with Pox, who favours more subtle styles of invasion such as mind control. The two characters often bicker and squabble, which never fails to be entertaining, and yet there is an underlying respect and fondness for each other that helps ground the relationship. It’s the perfect double act.
Destroy All Humans was a good game, but does it still hold up? Well there are a few issues. Controls can be a bit clunky at times and missions can often get repetitive. Destroy x number of farmers. Collect x amount of DNA. That kind of thing. Also, annoyingly, there’s no checkpoints, which means if you die or fail the mission, you’re automatically sent back to the Furon Mothership and you have to start the mission all over again. But the writing, humour and entertainment value more than make up for it.
Hot Monkey Love
While the first game wasn’t what you’d call a hit, it was successful enough for THQ to commission a sequel. Destroy All Humans 2 was released in 2006 on PS2 and Xbox, just one year after the first game, and this time Crypto was going international.
Set in the 1960s, ten years after the events of the first game, the KGB in Russia learn about the Furon’s takeover of America and plan a counterattack. They nuke the Furon Mothership, killing Pox, and try to assassinate Crypto 138, who is posing as the President of the United States. The assassination fails and Pox’s mind is able to survive in hologram form. The two then embark on a global adventure, seeking revenge against the KGB and uncovering a massive conspiracy that puts the entire Furon invasion at risk.
Destroy All Humans 2 is an ambitious sequel that increases its scope from the first game. No longer confined to America, we see Crypto terrorise San Francisco, London, Tokyo, Russia and even the Moon. Our arsenal of weapons are also expanded. The original weapons from the first game return as well as some all new ones such as the Disclocator, which fires a purple disc at a human or vehicle and sends them flying around the map, the Burrow Beast, which summons a Tremors-esque space worm to cause carnage, and Meteor Strike, which I think speaks for itself. We also get a few new mental abilities such as Transmogrify, which allows you to turn objects into ammo, and Free Love, which causes everyone in the general vicinity to start dancing, allowing you to make a quick getaway while they’re distracted. The saucer too has some extra features, including a cloaking device and the ability to drain vehicles of health using your Abducto Beam.
This sequel pretty much takes everything that worked from the first game whilst tweaking the things that didn’t. The GTA style Alert system got a complete overhaul. If you want to raise or lower the Alert level, all you have to do is bodysnatch a cop or a soldier and make a call using a police box (you can also make prank calls from them, which is good for a giggle). Holoblobbing has been replaced with Bodysnatching, which works so much better and it does away with the annoying Concentration meter, so you can PK cars and humans to your heart’s content. There’s also a lot more stuff to do now. There are numerous collectables such as Alien Artefacts, which unlocks the Burrow Beast weapon, and FuroTech Cells, which are your main currency that can be used to upgrade your health and weapons. Missions have greater variety than in the first game. There’s a lot more side missions, including Odd Jobs and my personal favourites the Cult of Arkvoodle missions, where Crypto brainwashes humans to worship the Furon God Arkvoodle of the Sacred Crotch.
As you can tell, the humour is still just as wacky and ridiculous as ever. Destroy All Humans 2 lampoons and ridicules the 60s mercilessly, taking aim at the Cold War and the hippie counterculture movement. It also pokes fun at 60s sci-fi films, spy films and Japanese movies like Godzilla. In fact there’s a boss fight that involves you fighting a Godzilla-esque monster and it’s honestly the best boss fight in the series. It regains health by destroying buildings, so you have to destroy them first before you can kill the monster. It’s a great premise.
Story-wise, Destroy All Humans 2 is a worthy successor, raising the stakes and expanding the lore. We’re introduced to the Blisk, the Martians that were presumed extinct by the Furons millions of years ago. It’s a brilliant conflict and ostensibly allows the developers to make commentaries on America and Russia at the time using the Furons and the Blisk respectively as stand-ins. Crypto and Pox are well written, funny and likeable as ever and we’re also introduced to an assortment of new characters, including the Russian spy Natalya and MI6 agent Ponsomby (voiced by none other than Anthony Head from Buffy). The game is engaging and rewarding, but it crucially never takes itself too seriously. For example there’s one instance in Tokyo where Crypto learns about the battle between the White and Black Ninjas and he guesses that the conflict started because of the cliche student betraying his master type origin, but it turns out that both groups of ninjas were originally Grey, but then they ran out of grey fabric and disagreed over which colour they should be instead. There’s so many great comedic moments like that and they pretty much hit bullseyes every time.
That being said, there was one aspect of the game I didn’t like and that was the crude sex jokes. Crypto 138 is the first clone to have pure Furon DNA, which means he now has genitalia. As a result, this new incarnation of Crypto is far more randy than 137 was in the first game. This mostly takes the form of Crypto constantly trying to hit on Natalya, despite her showing no sexual interest, which I personally found pretty gross. Worse still, the game ends with Crypto cloning Natalya and ‘making a few adjustments’ so she will consent to have sex with him. The word ‘creepy’ doesn’t begin to cover how I felt about this. If THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games ever decide to remake the second game, I really hope they consider rethinking that ending because... Jesus!
On the whole, Destroy All Humans 2 was a brilliant sequel. It was also sadly the last Destroy All Humans game to be developed by Pandemic Studios before they were bought by EA and eventually shut down in 2009. Unfortunately this would have a severe impact on the future of the series going forward.
Limp Willy
The next game in the series was a spinoff for the Nintendo Wii, released in early 2008 and developed by Locomotive Games. A PS2 version was also planned, but was scrapped due to budget cuts (remember this. It’ll become relevant later).
Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed was... underwhelming, to say the least. Set in the 1970s, six years after the second game, Crypto and Pox have opened a fast food restaurant called Big Willy as a way of disposing of the corpses left behind during Crypto’s missions. However a rival fast food chain, run by Colonel Kluckin’, is stealing their business and socialite Patty Wurst is threatening to expose Big Willy (smirk). So it’s up to Crypto to protect Pox’s Big Willy (haha) and maintain their cover on Earth.
Now you’re probably thinking this sounds quite tame compared to the previous two games, and yeah, it is. But it’s a spinoff, so I can understand to a certain extent. However there are a few narrative discrepancies. The big one being Crypto has retired from being the President. No explanation given as to why and we have no idea what Crypto is doing instead. When we first see him, he’s watching TV. He doesn’t even know Big Willy exists until Pox brings it up. So what’s going on exactly? Are they still trying to invade Earth or have they gone native? Also, compared to the grand conspiracy stories of the previous games, Crypto protecting a fast food restaurant sounds a little beneath him.
Gameplay is virtually unchanged from the previous game. There’s some new guns such as Ball Lightning and the Zombie Gun, but nothing special. The biggest addition is Big Willy, the restaurant mascot that’s actually a Furon battle mech in disguise. It’s... fine. Not that much different from the Saucer really. We also get some new locations. Harbor City, Fairfield in Kentucky, Fantasy Atoll (a weak parody of Fantasy Island) and Vietmahl (a painfully obvious homage to Vietnam). None of these locations are particularly interesting however. There’s also a multiplayer mode, which... exists.
Honestly the game as a whole is just lacklustre. The story just isn’t as good as the first two games and the humour doesn’t have the same wit or intelligence. Most of the comedy surrounds the fact that Pox has called his restaurant Big Willy and isn’t entirely aware of the double entendre, which admittedly is funny for the first few missions, but by the time you’ve finished Harbor City and move on to Fairfield, the joke gets old real fast. There’s less of an effort to actually satirise the culture or films of the time, instead merely making 70s pop culture references without ever actually doing anything with it. It’s like the Family Guy school of comedy. Take Fantasy Atoll for instance. A pisstake of Fantasy Island, but instead of Mr. Roarke and Tatoo, we get Mr. Pork and Ratpoo. That’s the level of humour we’re talking about here.
What’s worse is that J. Grant Albrecht and Richard Steven Horwitz don’t return as Crypto and Pox. Sean Donnellan and Darryl Kurylo voice the characters instead and it’s just not the same. It doesn’t feel like Crypto and Pox. So from the very first cutscene, we’re already off on the wrong foot.
And then there’s a bunch of other stuff that I find really questionable. The most obvious being the revelation that Colonel Kluckin’ makes his chicken wings from the corpses of the Vietmahl (Vietnam) war, which just seems in very bad taste to me. If there is a satirical point being made here, I can’t find it for the life of me. There’s also some side missions where Crypto finds out that he and Natalya have a son, which goes absolutely nowhere and doesn’t feel like something that should be in a Destroy All Humans game.
Overall, Big Willy Unleashed was a massive dud meant to tide us over until Destroy All Humans 3 came out later in the year. Honestly the one aspect of it I thought had potential was the side missions involving Crypto and Pox being assessed by a Furon Efficiency Expert called Toxoplasma Gondii. Considering what happened in the second game, including the destruction of the Furon Mothership, the return of the Blisk and the Furon operation on Earth being jeoprodised, this could have been a great premise for a sequel.
Instead what we got was...
Disco Inferno
Oh boy. Where do I begin?
Path Of The Furon was developed by THQ and Sandblast Games and released in December 2008 on the Xbox 360 in North America. The PS3 version was cancelled because Sandblast (and Locomotive Games) was closed down before development was finished due to THQ’s financial problems at the time. However the PS3 version was released in Europe and Australia, so either THQ got another studio to complete it or, more likely, they just released it in a broken, buggy state.
Fans really didn’t like this game, myself included, but before we go tearing it a new one, lets look at the few positives the game has. First off, J. Grant Albrecht and Richard Steven Horwitz return to voice Crypto and Pox, which is great. As a result, the original chemistry is back and they help salvage the game when the writing fails to deliver. There are a few cool new weapons, like the Black Hole Gun and the Venus Human Trap, which creates a giant man eating plant. The Saucer’s weapons have been tweaked, so now they affect the environment as well as destroy buildings. So if you fire your Death Ray at the ground, for example, you can create scorch marks. PK now has its own dedicated button, which means you can pick up and throw objects whilst using your guns simultaneously. There’s also the titular ‘Path Of Enlightenment,’ which upgrades your mental abilities significantly as well as allowing you to freeze time.
That’s the good stuff. The bad stuff is... pretty much everything else.
The humour is, again, quite poor. Rather than satirising 70s culture, the game continues to make references to 70s films like The Godfather and Star Wars, but not actually doing anything with them. Just making the reference. The writing as a whole is quite substandard as the plot pretty much recycles the plots of Destroy All Humans 2 and Big Willy Unleashed, except instead of the Big Willy restaurant, it’s the Space Dust casino and instead of the Blisk, it’s Nexosporidium warriors, who are basically Furon cyborgs. Things do threaten to get a bit interesting when Crypto and Pox discover someone has been manufacturing synthetic Furon DNA, but nothing ever really comes of it. Instead the game focuses mainly on the Master.
Ah yes. The Master.
In an attempt to recapture the magic of the second game, Path Of The Furon tries to spoof kung-fu movies just like how DAH 2 spoofed spy films. Unfortunately this leads us to a slew of unfunny gags, cultural appropriation and some of the worst racial stereotyping I think I’ve ever seen. The Master is a Furon who crashed on Earth a hundred years ago and embroiled himself in Eastern culture, enhancing his PK abilities. This is what he looks like:
YYYYeah.
Oh and if that’s not awkward enough, he also speaks in an over the top ‘ah so’ accent. It’s incredibly cringeworthy and made me want to crawl out of my body and hide in the darkest corner I could possibly find. How anyone involved in this game’s development could look at this deeply racist and downright embarrassing excuse for a character and think this was okay, I don’t know.
And before anyone tries to excuse it by saying that he has been living in China for a hundred years, so he’s bound to pick a few things up, please note that Nolan North is in this game playing the Furon Emperor Meningitis, who also has an over the top ‘ah so’ accent. Now I suppose some could argue that the game is satirising how Asian people were portrayed at the time, but if that’s what the game is going for, they’ve failed miserably. See, the problem with that argument is that replicating something doesn’t count as satire. By recreating over the top racist caricatures, you’re not making fun of them. If anything you’re just reinforcing them. The first game’s satire of the Red Scare worked so much better than this because there was an actual point behind it. It comments on how paranoid the people of the 50s were at the time by using Majestic to exploit the threat of communism in order to cover up alien activity, and everyone willingly buys into it because of that sheer paranoia. Now yes, admittedly the humour in Destroy All Humans isn’t the most sophisticated in the world, but it used to be a LOT better than this. Not only do I find the racial stereotyping in this game deeply offensive, it’s also frankly beneath this franchise. And it’s not just limited to the Chinese either. The final act takes us to the Furon homeworld (which was pretty underwhelming after four games worth of buildup) and we meet another Furon called Endometriosis whose only characteristics are that he has an Italian accent and wears a beret. It’s these broad strokes and general laziness that makes this game such a disappointing experience.
Path Of The Furon is subpar in every way imaginable. The writing, the humour, the gameplay and even the graphics. The first two games looked so much better than this and they were on older consoles from the previous generation. It’s shocking.
It’s hard to blame Sandblast Games for this considering they were shut down before development was finished. It was THQ’s mismanagement and financial woes that killed off this franchise and indeed themselves. The company went bankrupt in 2012 and their various IPs were sold off to other studios, with Nordic Games buying the lions’ share, including Destroy All Humans, which briefly reignited hopes that we might get another game, but that seemed unlikely considering the franchise has never exactly been a mainstream success. There was even talks of doing an animated sitcom based on the games for Fox, to be written by the same guy who did King Of The Hill, but that never went anywhere.
No. It seemed like Destroy All Humans was gone for good and fans reluctantly made peace with that. It was fun while it lasted, but perhaps it was time to move on.
Oh The Furonity!
I’m not going to lie. I was pretty sure we were never going to see Destroy All Humans return. Not just because of its lack of mainstream appeal, but also because game development studios and publishers in recent years have become more and more reluctant to make single player, mid-tier games. Instead pivoting toward massive triple A releases and ‘live services’. So it came as a rather pleasant surprise when Nordic Games, now named THQ Nordic, released Darksiders III in 2018, a sequel to a series of games that were also not very mainstream but still had a significant cult following. This briefly reignited a small flicker of hope within me that maybe, just maybe, we might see our favourite Furon return.
And as you already know, I got my wish. A new Destroy All Humans game will be released next year by THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games.
So what can this remake learn from the franchise’s past? Well thankfully the writing and voice acting is going to remain the same, so story, characterisation and humour won’t be an issue. They’re also incorporating elements from the sequels such as Transmogrify from Destroy All Humans 2 and giving PK its own button like in Path Of The Furon. There’s also a few new additions that I’m excited about such as the ability to dodge and strafe using the jetpack. That should make combat much more exciting and dynamic. I know a few people have a problem with the new cartoony designs of the humans and the world, but I honestly don’t mind. In fact I think it suits the tone and setting quite well. Hopefully people will eventually get used to it. The big question mark hovering over all this is whether they’re planning to remake the other games in the series. I for one would love to see a remake of the second game. As for Big Willy Unleashed and Path Of The Furon, I think it’s best to leave them firmly in the past. The big dream would be to see Crypto and Pox have further adventures together beyond the first two games. Hopefully even have enough sequels to get the characters to the present day. We’ll just have to wait and see what the future brings. My only word of advice for them would be to never forget what made the first two games so good and so beloved. Big Willy Unleashed and Path Of The Furon lost their way, as its writing and humour grew lazier and lazier. If we are fortunate enough to get more games, the developers will need to remember what it was about the first game that made it so special and build off of it.
This is a second chance. Not a lot of franchises get this. Don’t waste it. Here’s hoping the remake will provide the definitive Destroy All Humans experience and that it will gain the success it deserves.
#destroy all humans#pandemic studios#locomotive games#sandblast games#thq#video games#quill's scribbles
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