Imagining a universe where Remus and Logan conspired to put the Logan Frankenstein Monster Head in Remus' Monster Smash look to see if any fans would take the opportunity to Intrulogical That Shit (you cannot convince me that Remus doesn't read Sanders Sides porn fics) and then it somehow spiraled into trying to convince the others that they are, in fact, together, and that was why they used the LFMH in Remus' Halloween look (this happens because Virgil, at Remus' demand, checked the Intrulogical Tumblr tag, and they saw The Post from March 28th and Virgil was like, Yeah, Right, and Remus automatically was like "What? What's so unbelievable about Logan and me?" and VIrgil is just like. Everything).
So, now they're stuck pretending to be in love with each other to convince Virgil that @infectedyl4n was right, and it hasn't been too long, but Logan and Remus are BOTH fanfic readers and they know where this can lead, and NEITHER are happy about that possibility.
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ao3: “checkmate”
rating: T
warnings: intrulogical, food
genre: fluff
description: Logan and Remus have a game of chess. It goes...about as well as you would expect. (prompt from @lickoutyourbrains “Remus vs Logan, they're playing chess and Remus keeps eating the pieces when Logan isn't looking.")
Logan squints suspiciously at the chess board, then looks back up at his boyfriend, who stares innocently back, or as innocently as Remus knows how to. One cheek bulges, but honestly, that could be anything. Logan's learned not to question that anymore.
"Remus, are you-" Logan stops, shaking his head slightly. No, that's a ridiculous thought. Remus has just apparently practiced, and it's enough to throw Logan off his game a little.
He doesn't mind, not really. Not when Remus looks so delighted with himself, green eyes glittering like glass and mustache wiggling with every excited pronouncement of a move.
"Check!" Remus says. Then, a moment later- "Hey, Logan, did you know vampire squids have the largest eyes in the animal kingdom compared to the size of their body?"
"I did not know that," Logan says absently, frowning at the board. Something else has changed, but he can't quite put his finger on it. Remus watches him, his eyes bright and tracking Logan's every move.
"It's true," Remus says, nodding. "And they have spines on their arms. Their eyes are red! Or blue. It depends. I want one. I'll name him Steve."
"Steve?" Logan echoes, amused as he makes his next move. He doesn't think there's a way for Remus to counter it, but he's been surprised before.
"Steve," Remus confirms. "I already have Cthulhu the (Fun-Sized) Kraken, I need a vampire squid!" He cackles. "I wanna surprise my brother!"
"Are you sure that's the best-" Logan starts to say, before he looks at the board again and frowns. How on earth did Remus-
"Hey, Logan!" Remus exclaims. "Guess what?"
"What?" Logan asks, pushing his glasses up his nose.
"Checkmate!" Remus cheers. Logan blinks at the board, then blinks at Remus. Remus grins and spits out the head of a pawn.
"You were eating the pieces!" Logan accuses. Remus grins harder, not denying it.
"Still counts!" Remus cackles. "You never said I couldn't eat the pieces!"
"I didn't think I had to," Logan says dryly. "Clearly a miscalculation on my part." Remus looks smug as he grabs a knight and pops it into his mouth, crunching down on it. Logan winces in sympathy for his teeth. He's eaten weirder things before, though, so Logan's not actually worried. At least he's not trying to eat a battery this time.
"Best out of two?" Remus suggests.
"You've eaten more than half the pieces," Logan points out. Remus shrugs.
"Oh well," he says, crunching noisily. "Next time I wanna make 'em out of deodorant!"
"How about chocolate?" Logan compromises.
"Boring, but okay," Remus agrees. Logan puts up the board, although there's little need, and circles to Remus's side, where he presses a kiss to Remus's forehead.
"You thoroughly hoodwinked me, cephy," Logan says, admiration in his tone. "Congratulations. I will be adding 'no eating the pieces' to the rules."
"You could always eat them, too!" Remus says. "Chess piece eating contest, most eaten wins!"
"Maybe with the chocolate ones," Logan relents. "But only those."
"Spoilsport," Remus sulks, but only for a moment before he's bouncing out of his seat and kissing Logan. Surprised, Logan kisses him back. Remus's eyes soften when he pulls away a little.
"Movie time?" Logan suggests. Remus nods.
"Blood and guts?" Remus asks. Logan can't find it in himself to deny him.
"Of course, and we'll point out all the inaccuracies," Logan says. Remus grins.
"That makes me happier than a baby bird getting sucked into a jet turbine!" Remus chirps. Logan has to stifle a laugh.
"Delightful," Logan says.
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How It All Began - Masterpost
Welcome, welcome everyone to another Big Bang entry, this time for @tss-storytime! As per the results of the one poll I have done here so far, this is also the introduction to my Pirates and Sirens AU! It has Intrulogical (of course, what else would I write?) and a lot of platonic shenanigans. Hope you enjoy 🥰
If you'd like to read it at a slower pace, I will upload the chapters to Ao3 twice a week.
Summary: Remus, son of a simple fisherman, had worked hard to become the captain of his own pirate ship. And in his humble opinion, it was going great! His crew was small but reliable and they had just stolen something that could them some nice cash from a military vessel they happened to cross on the open sea. They just needed to hide it somewhere until it was safe to sell. How lucky for them that they come across a nice, uninhabited island.
Little did Remus know just who he would find on that little piece of land and how it would change his life entirely.
Content Warnings: Temporary Character Death, Minor Violence, Innuendoes (Remus is the main character after all) and Morally Grey Characters (They are pirates)
Story on Ao3
Chapter One: A Lonely Island, Right?
Chapter Two: Living Legend
Chapter Three: A Request
Chapter Four: A New Deal
Chapter Five: Library Visit
Chapter Six: Precious
Chapter Seven: Just the Beginning
Many thanks go to @edupunkn00b for beta reading! They helped me so much, thanks a bunch!
There is also art for this story by @im-an-anxious-wreck! Their post is here. Thank you so much for working with me 🥰
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