Out Of Context Shit Heard On The SOLDIER Floor #6
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Angeal: No, Genesis, you spaghetti-noodle-spine-having-ass bitch.
Sephiroth: I identify as a tonberry *chases Cloud with a kitchen knife*
Zack: Ra Ra Rasputin *kicks Sephiroth over*
Genesis: Unhand me you cretin *alone, talking to no one*
Angeal: Zack just showed me a picture of the Grinch and said "hear me out"
Lazard: No, Sephiroth, you cannot have a human-sized cat bed in your office "for enrichment"
Cloud: Parkour time *crashes through the air vents*
Sephiroth: I'm the biggest lesbian ally in this department, actually.
Angeal: For the sake of my sanity I'm gonna pretend I didn't just see Zack twerking to One Winged Angel.
Luxiere: I would commit unspeakable atrocities for a crumb of Zack's attention.
Lazard: That stripper pole better be gone when I get back or so help me, Genesis, I will return you to the goddess.
Sephiroth: *does a single pump of sore throat spray* This is enough for sustenance for the day.
Kunsel: Care for a deep-fried cigarette?
Angeal: You look like an AI-generated twink.
Sephiroth: I've grown so tired of Genesis's voice that we now communicate solely through interpretive dance.
Lazard, over the speakers: Whoever heated fish in the break room microwave, please come by my office so I can break your knees.
Zack: Aww, I forgot to feed the Roomba :(
Genesis: I don't know why me and Angeal are being judged. Simulating a birth with a watermelon is a perfectly normal activity for two people.
Kunsel: Hopefully this office party won't end in accidental weed use.
Angeal: WHY IS THERE A FAMILY OF RACCOONS IN THE TRAINING ROOM?
Genesis: I noticed some homosexual subtext in your screams, do you want to talk about that?
Angeal: *sniff sniff* Ooh~ who's barbecuing? OH MY GOD IT'S AN ELECTRIC FIRE.
Roche: Every time I think about chopping my hair short I think "Sephiroth wouldn't want this for me" and the feeling is gone.
Genesis: I made a friend *drags in a skeleton with a Sephiroth wig*
Cloud: *points at Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth* Pure of heart, dumb of ass, big of tit.
Lazard: I told Zack to use Excel and he started sobbing.
Angeal: WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST SEASONING YOUR GROUND BEEF?
Sephiroth: It's extremely rude to ask someone why they're eating a salad bowl of udon at 8 AM. Mind your business, Zack.
Cloud: Genesis likes Loveless so much because the title resonates with his love life.
Zack: You keep your anxiety pills in a takeaway to-go box? Dude that's so fancy.
Lazard: Why is Sephiroth the only one wearing a shirt??
Angeal: Common sense has chased Zack all his life but he wears wheelies so he's faster
Sephiroth: I personally don't use the peace sign because I haven't had a day of peace since I was 12.
Kunsel: I'm never going out in public with Zack again. A child's balloon popped when it went near his hair.
Angeal: No I'm not giving you an aspirin. Last time I gave you one you crushed it and snorted it like cocaine.
Lazard: An overwhelming majority of you peaked in kindergarten.
Sephiroth: Zack, I'm becoming increasingly concerned by the amount of potatoes in your pants right now.
Zack: This year I want an A/B/O themed birthday party.
Sephiroth: Please don't commit tax fraud, Genesis. You won't thrive in prison.
Genesis: Does anyone have an extra ramen packet to give Sephiroth? The 64 he consumed this morning weren't enough.
Roche: Commander Rhapsodos and his emo fringe is our culture.
Zack: I'm at my fucking limit! I'm about to eat a vegetable!
Genesis: He's a son of a bitch
Sephiroth: That implies he has a mother, so I don't see how that's an insult.
Zack: Fuck around and find out *said with a chunk of Genesis' red coat hanging from his pocket*
Cloud: Does anyone have an extra brain cell? I lost my remaining one when Genesis spoke to me this morning.
Sephiroth: Damn.
Kunsel: Zack owes me so much money that if he sold his box of random shit he stole from Angeal, he still couldn't pay me back.
Angeal: Why are you guys playing Queen's Blood in the closet? is this a metaphor?
Genesis: Have you prayed to your Sephiroth cardboard cutout yet today?
Sephiroth: Alert me once Rufus Shinra arrives so that I may greet him adequately *said while building a pipe bomb*
Lazard: It's all fun and games until the timeout cage that I ordered online arrives.
Genesis: I will atone for my sins by becoming a nuisance to the environment.
Cloud: If Zack were a scented candle he'd smell like ADHD and crayons.
Sephiroth, standing on a table: DO NOT. EAT. THE CHEESECAKE. IN THE FRIDGE. It's mine.
Angeal: *with a bucket while it's raining hale* Free ice baby.
Zack: I finally have enough gil to buy a sixteen bouncy castles.
Genesis: Being overcome with the desire to eat pasta and call your mother at 2 AM and wondering if you're having a mental breakdown or are possessed by Sephiroth.
Lazard: I can't fire any of you, but I'm about to start setting things on fire.
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