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icapturedthecastle · 1 month

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FFVII + some of my favorite shitposts, part 1

#Final Fantasy VII #Final Fantasy VII Remake #Final Fantasy VII Rebirth #FFVII #FFVII:R #Final Fantasy 7 #Cloud Strife #Tifa Lockhart #Aerith Gainsborough #Sephiroth #Yuffie Kisaragi #Roche #FF7 Roche #Tseng FF7 #Elena FF7 #sp FF7

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raintides · 8 months

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sinking into the ff7 hole

#final fantasy 7 #final fantasy vii #reno ff7 #rude ff7 #tseng ff7 #elena ff7 #i am finally playing og ff7 and i just finished disc 1 and i need to scream into a pillow #i came mostly prepared for the aerith scene but i was super not prepared for cosmo canyon #the excited noises i made when i ran into the turks on vacation in wutai yesss yesssss #idiot who has somehow played both crisis core and dirge of cerberus growing up but not 7

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thissisatitle · 1 month

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I see.

#my art #rufus shinra #elena of the turks #compilation of ff7 #ff7 rebirth #ff7 #elena FF7 #elena

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little-black-dress-zack-fair · 2 months

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Elena: Things people look good in regardless of gender: suits, lacy lingerie…

Tseng: Eyeliner.

Reno: Ball gowns.

Rude: Battle armour.

Shotgun: The blood of your enemies.

Cissnei: Flannel shirts with the sleeves rolled up.

Veld: Glasses.

Elena: That went from zero to a hundred to zero, real fucking quick.

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toherrys · 11 months

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Up and coming rookie of the year - Elena of the Turks

#elena of the turks #elena ff7 #ff7r #ff7rebirth

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brilcrist · 2 months

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FF7R 📷 countdown~

5 days~🥺🖐️

#elena ff7 #fanart #brilcrist artwork #final fantasy 7 rebirth #final fantasy 7 #countdown

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rottenpumpkin13 · 8 months

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What if Tseng and Angeal switched problems for a day. Like you leave Tseng with Sephiroth, Genesis, and Zack and Angeal with Reno, Rude, and Cissnei

14:43 Hours on the SOLDIER floor

[Director Lazard walks past Sephiroth's office and sees a curious scene, so he decides to go inside]

Lazard: Tseng! I must applaud you. I've never seen these two so quiet and hard at work.

[The two in question refers to Sephiroth and Genesis, who are both trembling in fear. Sephiroth was made to tie his hair up. Genesis was forced to move his desk into the office and place it directly in front of Sephiroth's. Tseng is sitting on a tall chair between the two desks watching them like a hawk]

Tseng: Ah, it's not a hard task. I just implemented the use of my own method.

Lazard: Oh, and what's that?

[Tseng pulls out a giant electrical rod]

Tseng: Any time they deviate from their SOLDIER duties, I sick them with this.

[Genesis kicks Sephiroth under the desk. Sephiroth returns the favor and the two start a kicking fight]

[Tseng flares up the rod. It crackles and buzzes with sparks. Sephiroth and Genesis gasp, then immediately put their heads down and return to work]

Lazard: And how did you get Genesis to stop quoting LOVELESS?

Tseng: I made him eat his book.

Meanwhile on the Turk Floor

[Angeal plays therapist and consoles Rufus on the couch in his office. He offers Rufus homemade cookies and tissues while he sobs]

Rufus: And I feel that I try so hard, and yet he never appreciates what I do! It's as if I don't even have a father, I have a higher-up that I can never please! *continues to cry*

Angeal, rubbing his back: I understand, I understand.

Rufus: Sometimes I think that the only way for me to finally find peace is if he were dead!

Angeal: I understand. Your feelings are valid.

Rufus: I've even crafted multiple plans to assassinate him!

Angeal: I understan—WAIT, WHAT!?

[At that moment, Reno and Rude fly past the office door. Reno is holding a flamethrower and positioned on shopping cart as if it were a pirate ship. Rude is pushing him while Reno shouts "HEAVE, HEAVE, HEAVE"]

[Then Cissnei and Elena walk by casually carrying a crate that reads EXPLOSIVES]

Cissnei: Let's wrap it like a present and place it in the labs!

Elena: I love it when Tseng's not here!

Angeal: WHAT THE FUCK!?

Somewhere Else (A dog cage in Angeal's office on the SOLDIER floor that may or may not have been placed there by Tseng)

[Zack and Darkstar are playing with a deck of cards]

Zack: You got any two's?

Darkstar: Woof!

Zack: Dang it! How are you so good at this?

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bedknees · 2 months

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she's so done with his ass!!! 😭🤣

#hes so cringe i love him #rufus shinra #elena ff7 #rude ff7 #ff7r #final fantasy vii rebirth #ffviir spoilers #final fantasy vii rebirth spoilers

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icycoldninja · 2 months

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The Turks incorrect quotes

Reno: You’re not jealous, are you? Rude: No! Reno: Good, ‘cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.

Elena: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart? Tseng: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am! Elena: Mean.

Tseng: Did you like the food I made? Elena: No, not really. Tseng: But I put my heart and soul into it! Elena: No wonder it tastes so cold and dead.

Reno: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?

Rude: Tseng likes to win. When he was 8, a little Club Scout friend of his bragged she could sell the most cookies. Rude: Damned if Tseng didn't walk the neighborhood till he got blisters on his feet, and won by 10 boxes. Rude: Best part is, Tseng wasn't even a Club Scout.

Reno: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

Reno, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? Reno: Wait. I the fuck used this pan… Tseng: It was you the fuck. Reno: It was I the fuck… Rude: Who cooks rice in a pan? Tseng: He the fuck.

Reno: Any questions? Rude: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Reno: Uh, a plan, duh… Elena: Rude, chill, I know it’s weird, but Reno has a point. Rude: Rude: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

Tseng: If there are no questions, we’ll move on to the next chapter. Rude: I have a question. Tseng: Certainly, Rude. What is it? Rude: What’s the point of human existence? Tseng: I meant any questions about the subject at hand. Rude: Oh. Rude: Frankly, I’d like to have the issue resolved before I expend any more energy on this.

Reno: Anything else? Rude: Yeah. Stay away from me! Reno: Alright. See you in the room we share.

Reno: I’m sorry, I really flew off the handle back there. It was like the handle was a bald guy going really fast, and I was his toupée.

Rude: What's the most efficient way to burn calories? Tseng: Exercise more! Reno: Set yourself on fire. Elena: There are two kinds of people.

Elena: Come to think of it… You’ve always been nice to me. Elena: I mean, you listen to all my problems- Tseng: No, Elena I just simply stand here while you talk, there’s a big difference.

Tseng: Guys where did Reno go? Elena: He got arrested. Tseng: How the hell- Reno: bursts in through the window The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

Reno: Shut up, you’re messing with my train of thought! Tseng: I thought you didn’t have a brain and now you say you have thoughts?

Elena: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? Tseng: AS ENEMIES?! Elena:

Reno: Tseng, you need to react when people cry! Tseng: I did. I rolled my eyes.

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends. Rude: Which one? I have seven. Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up. Rude: Which one? I have seven. Reno, distantly: HEY!!!

Reno: Come on, you need to go to bed. Tseng: Mr. Snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want. And that you need to die! Reno: … Reno: What the hell, Mr. Snuffles—

Tseng: Oh, they left the bowl out? Tseng: It says, “Take two pieces of candy.” Reno: Nobody around though… Reno grabs the entire bowl and runs off with it Tseng: NO—