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#related to marriage and women's and men's roles
variousqueerthings · 1 year
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(what’s this? more aro-mash posting? it’s more likely than you think)
while i do hc some aro and ace Hawkeye for the funsies, i know the aceness isn’t technically supported by the text (and of course if that were to stop me i would have nary an ace character anywhere) but the aromantic read is surprisingly present, for him and for Margaret and for Charles especially -- 
and Mulcahy, although his is a little different in that he’s never really positioned in a romantic tryst that he needs to figure out for himself and then move on from. He simply doesn’t have a narrative related to romance (he does have a character get a crush on him, but it’s firmly unrequited). There is, within the plot, a reason to not give Mulcahy romantic narratives (although they could’ve if they’d wanted to get Spicy I suppose), while the other three do have a few apiec + don’t have “an excuse” to fall back on (to an extent, see Charles). This not to say I can’t/don’t hc him as aromantic, but that there’s perhaps less to explore within the text as meta, because he’s sorted, he’s got God, the end. there’s no tension of aromanticism that I can think of off the top of my head (do let me know if there’s lines or scenes or storylines that do have something suggestive to them)
the very simple idea that their stories do not hinge on an overarching romantic conclusion, and especially especially for Hawkeye and Margaret, who have quite a few conversations notably (most?) often with each other about romance and their lack of success at it, only to gravitate towards one another’s orbits over and over, and then for the story to say, “it’s not romantic -- it is a deep, understanding friendship, and it’s very, very important for the both of them (and is possibly their least drama free relationship once comrades in arms happened?)”
there’s nothing stopping the story, really, from making it romantic, although I wouldn’t have been a fan of it, precisely because they’re far more powerful a dynamic as friends (and I think perhaps they instinctively got that in the writing room, even if safe to say they presumably were not saying, “let’s queer this notion of romantic-ends are the only proper ends” -- Alan Alda at the very least seemed to be interested in Hawkeye’s lack off romantic commitment, which is funny coming from famous-for-loving-his-wife Mr Alda and I continuously wonder if he knows about aromanticism as a concept, on some level wish someone had been around to ask him some more about that facet of Hawkeye at the time) 
Hawkeye and Margaret get the main thrust of their relationship development from seasons 1-7, and for the most part after that are just on a level of understanding and (almost) total lack of conflict with each other -- when they kiss in GFA it’s satisfyingly non-romantic, and also contains that specific hard-to-describe spark that makes their dynamic work
I’m still going through my several at-the-same-time rewatches, so I’ve only seen the Charles romance episodes once, but my first instinct (which also includes the odd “lets see if Margaret and Charles have some kind of chemistry” episodes in s6) is simply that he’s lonely, very aware of his Duties As Eldest Son Of Posh Family, wants some kind of connection, but under his constraints cannot form one, never mind articulate what it would look like ideally
so you get these episodes like the one with the French woman, where he’ll be so excited about all the things they have in common and the moment she starts talking about a romantic relationship, he suddenly goes hard on the “my family wouldn’t approve,” line, which on that first watch wasn’t quite so solid for me as a reasoning... but we’ll see on watch the second. It did feel like a handy excuse that came from being afraid (but afraid of what, good sir!)
Also it makes sense he wouldn’t share his (a)romantic woes with anyone else, not sharing things is one of his main character traits, but I’ll keep an eye out for how this lack-of-romance interacts (if it does) with the others. He does of course have One (1) sharing moment with Hawkeye, in relation to fathers/dads
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noahsresources · 9 months
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romance & relationship headcanons!
i know this topic is a bit overdone, but i wanted to make a more sfw romance & relationship headcanon meme! most if not all of these questions are related to romance and topics that may arise within romantic relationships, but without explicit nsfw topics!
1. what is your muse's sexual/romantic orientation? 2. has your muse been mainly attracted to masculinity, femininity, androgyny, or an even split (between two, many, or all of the options specified)? 3. has your muse been mainly attracted to men, women, non-binary people, another identity not specified, or an even split (between two, many, or all of the options specified)? 4. does your muse find any specific features particularly attractive? 5. what is your muse's ideal first date? 6. would your muse kiss on the first date? 7. where is your muse most sensitive? 8. is your muse a good kisser? are they experienced or inexperienced? 9. is your muse monogamous or polyamorous? would they be interested in a polyamorous relationship? 10. has your muse ever been cheated on? would they ever cheat on their partner(s)? 11. how comfortable is your muse with their appearance and their body? 12. does your muse get flustered easily? how would they typically react to compliments from someone they are interested in/dating? 13. what traits does your muse value in a romantic partner? 14. what traits does your muse want to avoid when it comes to choosing a romantic partner? 15. how does your muse feel about valentine's day? 16. what is/are your muse's love language(s)? 17. what are some of the signs that your muse shows their care/love without saying they love/care about their partner? 18. how does your muse feel about marriage? would they ever want to get married? 19. how many serious relationships has your muse been in? are they experienced or inexperienced when it comes to dating? 20. how does your muse feel about public displays of affection? would they engage in them? 21. is your muse more flirtatious or shy, or does it depend on the context? 22. does your muse tend to take on a more dominant or submissive role in the relationship, or does it vary based on circumstance? 23. would your muse be good at recognizing their partner's needs right away, or would it take some time? 24. is your muse proactive in communication with their partner(s), or is this something they need to work on? 25. does love and romance mean a lot to your muse? do they seek it constantly or let it come when it does? 26. is your muse more likely to be loud and proud about being in a relationship, or are they more quiet about it at first and open up about it over time? 27. is your muse more confident or shy when it comes to approaching someone they like? 28. would it bother your muse if they had differing interests from their partner(s), or would they delight in it? 29. how important is having (a) physically attractive partner(s) to your muse? 30. would your muse ever be in an open/non-exclusive relationship? would it make them insecure, or would they be open to trying it? 31. does your muse develop crushes easily? would they be open about it to a friend or keep it to themselves? 32. does your muse have an ideal "type"?
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astrophileblogs07 · 2 months
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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT.20
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⚫ Opposite to the stereotype of Leo being a narcissist, its the Aquarians who are more narcissist than ANY other zodiac. Esp its the Dhanishta naks out of the Aqua naks who are so.
⚫ I have seen 3 Aquarian moons (of Dhanishta nak) who had a poverty stricken first half of life (childhood, teenage years) but then they become well off like rlly very well off in their second half (esp after marriage). They marry rich 🤑 too. What i am saying here is the dramatic transformation of their financial life.
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⚫ Pisces men are physically abusive. That's it. Esp the March Pisces. They literally are a bully. (Dont be fooled by the beautiful doe eyes lol)
⚫ "WOW What voluminous and luscious hair he's got!" -my ♌ rising and moon mom commenting on a side character with insignificant role in a movie 🤣. I wasn't noticing that at all...but she seemed to be stuck on that feature 😂.
⚫ Martian influence on a chart can actually have a liking to dangerous weapons and ammunitions. (Like idk I weirdly love them 😂😂)
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⚫ Females with Ketu ruled naks are the first group of people whom male perceive as "threat". (Second is mars btw). Like if the other person is a typical male (egoistic, chauvinist) they will literally hate you to the core coz they know you equal them in all ways (except you know what LMAO 🤣). So they'll try to pin you down or belittle you etc. (sad, but since I have experienced I wanted it to share w you guys)
⚫ Also I love the way Ketu Nak women get along becoz mostly they have so much in common. And by that I mean how the society (male dom) treats them. I am not saying they're an "outcast" but the reaction they face just coz the male species get intimidated by us which has an cascading effect on our mental peace is beyond tolerance.
⚫Ketu naks are sexyyyyyy 🖤👁️🫦👁️❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
(I always imagine a smokin hot biker girl 👩🏻‍🎤with leather jacket and smoky eyeshadow whenever I hear "Ashwini, Magha and Mula")
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⚫ I have seen a Chart which was totally "Mars" chart and I'll tell you, that person has Aries asc, Moon, Mars and (Mercury ig is in Scorpio?idr) along with Scorpio sun. And that person is like personified version of the planet itself. So cunning and so shrewd, potentially be a mastermind. Statergic. Secretive af. (Might be their middle name to exaggerate). Close to their mom. Loves friends (friends over anything). Also they have a "reddish" tint to their skin (no health probs, but yeah that planet does that). Knows how to tackle any embarrassing moment in public and deal with it. (I am jealous of him coz i wanted to be like him in every way 😂)
⚫Lilith and Pluto aspects in natal chart can actually survive 8H synastry. Almost same energy and themes. 💀
⚫Why are Maghas the "scapegoat" of the family? Like they be framed in a situation with which they have no relation with. Its annoying to see. Its like you're locked in your room chilling and as soon as you step out, everyone in the family is blaming you for something or the other. Now you're the "bad guy". (Yo wtf 🤡). Added to the generosity of Leos, people target you often. 😕
⚫Libra men CANNOT stand loneliness and being ostracized at all in any way. I have seen this in every Libra I came across. For eg: if you're the "black sheep" they won't talk to you and will go with what the crowd says. And if people have outcasted them just becoz they're with you/involved with you, they'll drop you like hot potato. People say and stereotype Capricorns for being the one who cares about reputation and all, but her 'Venus-ruled-Saturn-exalted' sister also is same. 💀
(no wonder they're besties lol)
P.S: I read a post here which said "Eye contact with 8H synastry hits different" ( i am not copying, i don't remember the username) and boy is that true 💀💀💀. Like I was -->😯😳🫣. Coz I have experienced that 🤣🤣. It does, than any other eye contact I have seen. Lmao 🤣🤣.{Edit: its @zeldasnotes 🖤😁}
Hope you liked it 😁😊. Until next time! 👋🏻
Love you y'all ❤️❤️❤️
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sirenalpha · 3 months
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I'm seeing so much commentary on people reacting to the live action atla toning down Sokka's misogyny
and I'm over here like this is a total non-issue because in my own rewrite of the show I already did that exact thing, it makes complete sense to do it and they should do it because it's a weaker aspect of the original show
Sokka's early misogyny is utterly cartoonish in comparison to the set up of the rest of the SWT, it doesn't feel realistic for the only teenaged boy in a dying culture surrounded by adult women with a grandmother who left a more out and out misogynist society to act the way he does
how Sokka "resolves" his misogyny is equally cartoonish, I never liked how in The Warriors of Kyoshi literally episode 4 of the show makes a teen girl compromise her own culture with a female only fighting tradition teach a boy who is supremely rude and disrespectful to her and then still be attracted to him afterwards, it's more misogyny to fix misogyny and is very obviously men writing about how to fix misogyny especially as they have Aang make a joke about Sokka wearing a dress after going through how meaningful the fighting costume is and how a lot of Asian clothing with hanfu influences like atla borrows from would have men in what to western eyes would be dresses, Aang has already seen multiple male authority figures in robes, the joke makes no sense
I also wouldn't consider Sokka's misogyny genuinely resolved after this, consider how the show deals with his romantic relationships with both Yue and Suki and how both can be seen as extensions of how Kataang is treated in the show, rewards for the hero, especially with how Sokka interacts aggressively with Hahn instead of respecting Yue's wishes whatever her reasons for them, I think an argument can be made that Yue's death is a fridging for Sokka's storyline rather than or in combination with being a consequence of Aang's failure as an avatar or the culmination of her own storyline where she fulfills her duties as a leader to protect her own people
Beyond his romantic relationships, while Sokka drops a lot of his more misogynistic language with Katara, he doesn't support her when she faces off with the NWT leaders to learn waterbending, and he still leaves the caretaking and food preparation and grocery shopping to her which is more common than him going out to hunt or gather in order to provide for the group while he takes a leadership role like determining their travel schedule and routes, it is not an even division of labor and falls along traditional sex stereotypes
In addition to his typical duties to the group, Sokka also remains invested in the trappings of masculinity after ep4, he's concerned about what's manly and how he compares to Jet for example, there's no investigation or interrogation in his interest in meat and hunting and how they relate to masculinity and his misogyny, in the episode with Piando, his insecurity as a non-bender is resolved by giving him a new male mentor and a new martial skill, sword fighting, which is masculine in both western and Asian cultures rather than assuaging his self esteem issues in any less stereotypically masculine ways, I also think it was done so he could compare more favorably to Zuko, another male character, and even his interest in engineering and mechanics comes with a male mentor and is a traditionally masculine pursuit
the show's poor handling of misogyny also extends beyond Sokka, with the NWT, the show acts as if Pakku is the only reason the tribe is misogynistic and the only consequences to that misogyny is that women can't waterbend and there are arranged marriages, and that both the NWT and Pakku's misogyny is resolved by allowing only Katara to learn to waterbend which she doesn't even earn on her own merits, she gets the opportunity because Pakku likes her grandmother
none of this is realistic, misogyny is not because of one bad apple, Pakku doesn't make Yue's arranged marriage, Chief Arnook does, he picked Hahn for her, and the show acts as if Arnook has no authority to compel Pakku to teach Katara or any ability to persuade him in order to reduce his culpability in the NWT's misogyny as its leader to make him a more respectable character so it's not uncomfortable when Aang and Sokka follow his orders in the battle later on, but women not being able to bend and forced into arranged marriages is still status quo when the gaang leaves, Yue's just dead
I'm not even convinced the show runners understand what's wrong with arranged marriage, the issue is not Yue can't be with Sokka who she likes and at most has a slight crush on cuz she's only known him for like two days, it's that she's being treated as male property, a broodmare, and a vehicle to ensure Hahn receives the throne because her father has no male heir and picked some guy to succeed him instead, like it's not explicit in the show but that is the implication based on the historical reality of princesses in arranged marriages, and the show has her get out of it only through death idc that she ascends to being a spirit, it's still a teen girl that dies
There's also no discussion by the show of the Earth Kingdom's misogyny when it has the exact same shit going on, Toph is the only female earthbender in the show not including avatars, there might have been a female earthbender in the background when Katara broke them out of prison, but I'm not really counting that, the entire army and Dai Li are all made up of men, the EK might even be worse because the show doesn't demonstrate that women and girls even have the capacity to earthbend aside from Toph and avatars and Toph doesn't even learn from a human, she has to learn from animals, the show treats this as commentary on her disability but the show has no compelling reason why it can't also be commentary on her sex, Toph was also originally supposed to be a boy so this could have ended up so much worse there literally would have been no female earthbenders aside from avatars at all, I'm not counting Oma as she might just be a mythological figure not a real person that once lived
The Fire Nation kinda barely avoids the same issue, Azula is the only named female firebender aside from avatars in the show but she has two female sidekicks who despite being non-benders show martial skill and there are clearly female soldiers and guards in the FN military so there are much stronger implications of female firebenders existing and being completely allowed to train their abilities and that Azula isn't exceptional in that respect like Toph is, only for being a prodigy with blue fire
Azula was also originally supposed to have an arranged marriage in s3 and they dropped it in favor of showing that royal and noble girls could casually date in the FN which has wild implications for women's empowerment in the country more so than but especially in combination with the fact women can train and join the military (which is why I say the FN is not fascist it's literally the least misogynistic country aside from Kyoshi and by like a country mile so it's literally not misogynistic enough) not that the show does anything more than minor teen drama with it
again, the vast majority of this misogyny is completely unremarked upon by the show especially after s1 when they leave the NWT, it is clearly a fictional world made by men with no true understanding of misogyny just a vague awareness that misogyny is bad and what the really obvious and outdated examples of it are, this is a narrative inconsistency in the show to have the examples and commentary on misogyny be so cartoonish in the beginning and then disappear after s1
your options to resolve this inconsistency is to either go all in with more realistic misogyny and provide commentary on all of it but this takes effort and will be divisive, or take the easier route and ease off the cartoonish-ness of it and comment less on it to avoid drawing attention to all instances of misogyny in the show
obviously Netflix was gonna do the latter
(not me tho, I'm making it less cartoony and dealing with it in my rewrite)
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bones4thecats · 4 months
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Handling Their God! S/O
Type of Writing: Poll Result Characters: Jack the Ripper, Leonidas, Raiden Tameemon, and Soji Okita Name: Handling Life with their God! S/O Original Poll Link: Here
A/N: This poll was released about a couple months ago, so, sorry that this is quite a bit late to those who voted and wanted it written! Instead of being really handing their S/O, it's more like how they meet and whatnot. Enjoy, lil bubbles🫧!
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🩸 You were the Hindu God of Sacrifices and Bloodshed, and due to your title, many presumed you were very sadistic and diabolical, basically the Hindu version of Loki
🩸 The only real person to see behind your name was your fellow pantheon members, the Greek Demi-God of Justice, Heracles, and Humanity's fourth representative, Jack the Ripper
🩸 While Ragnarok's fourth round ensued, you watched your friend, Heracles, erupt from the Gods' side and smiled lightly as he gave you a hearty thumbs up, and you just stared as the human's representative, being Jack, emerged, nodding to the God
🩸 You watched the battle with a blank expression, while your fellow pantheon members raged as Jack hit Heracles, but only your could tell what was happening
🩸 Being the embodiment of sacrifices and bloodshed meant you knew when someone was being very bloodthirsty, but you couldn't sense so much in Jack as you did in other Gods, such as Poseidon
🩸 It surprised you, and watching him smile lightly as Heracles faded away, claiming he'd always love Humanity, a tear escaped your eyes, and you watched in hidden rage as Humanity began to throw things such as rocks at one of the men who had saved them and their descendants from utter doom
🩸 So, despite the yells of your leader, Shiva, you jumped down and shielded Jack from the items with a shield of blood, nodding as he looked at you with hidden gratitude
🩸 Jack would smile at you as you sat beside him in a hammock you made of blood, sharpening the knives of his that the nurses took away, you really were a beauty despite the rumors behind you
🩸 Much like Hlökk, you knew that after what Heracles said to him before he died, Jack began to try changing from his old self in order to find someone that truly loved him and didn't use him like his mother once did
🩸 What you didn't know is that his eyes were on you, and you alone
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🚬 You met Leonidas because of his death, mainly how he saved many of his men from sending them away once realizing their efforts were fruitless
🚬 As the Greek Goddess of Honor, Selflessness, and Defending, you would watch over the many men and women who would fight in the wars that plagued the world, though, you mainly focused on your homeland
🚬 Leonidas met you when he ascended with his 299 our of the 300 men who perished, and he was very wary of you at first, due to how he disliked anyone in relation of Apollo, blaming him for the deaths of his men and himself
🚬 Understanding where he was coming from, you proved your worth to him by giving him and his men the best treatment your role as a God could offer, and it warmed his cold heart watching you play around with the men's children with tiny swords and telling them stories of battles long since past
🚬 The King of Sparta also loved watching you sit down alongside the wild animals that spread throughout the battlefields that surrounded their homes
🚬 While it took a while, Leonidas and you began to court before your eventual marriage a few hundred years after his initial death
🚬 When Brunhilde came by to ask Leonidas of his part in Ragnarok, you offered yourself up to be a possible Völundr for him when he partook in his battle, in which Brunhilde tried turning you down, before Leonidas agreed in you helping
🚬 You stood alongside Geirölul as you both preformed the ritual with your husband, she smiled at you as you transformed into his xiphos blade, the same one that he wielded for years, showing your significance to him
🚬 Leonidas listened as you spoke through his mind, chanting the same words as him while your battle commenced, chanting as one person with your now three voices laced together
" From the day you died... " " And the day we met... " " We promised to stay together, no matter what! " " Now... " " Let's kill this fucker! "
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🥊 He was a man with a very specific choice in his S/Os, and when he met you after he died? Woah, did you fit the bill!
🥊 Strong? Check. Not ashamed of yourself to the point of harming? Check. And let's not forget, face-burying chest.
🥊 Raiden only saw you as the Norse God of Strength, Fairness, and Battles, standing alongside your fellow deities, you were one of the strongest ever seen
🥊 He would smile whenever he saw you watching his fights from a small area with one of your fellow Gods nearby, bored out of their mind as you just admired the men's devotion to fighting and winning
🥊 You and him began to bond when, after one of his matches, you approached and introduced yourself to him without an inch of arrogance or superiority, making him smile and shake your hand
🥊 Raiden loved practicing with you, and feeling you pick him up and slam him down made him laugh at your action, since nobody could ever pin him down like you did
🥊 Much like with Leonidas, you sacrificed yourself to be Raiden's Völundr, alongside Thrud, who welcomed you with the biggest hug you both had ever experienced
🥊 Thrud, Raiden, and you all laced yourselves together and fought against your ex-ally, Shiva, and hugged as you all faded away, saying how much it was an honor to be together in your last moments
🥊 This all was what you wanted when you eventually died, to be surrounded by those you loved, and you were surrounded by your husband and new sister-figure, what else could you ever had asked for?
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🏮 Soji Okita was a very interesting man, despite his smaller stature, he was a remarkable fighter and an excellent fighter, which you had witnessed head-on
🏮 You were the Shinto God of the Good and Bold, holding a significant hold over many different kinds of things, such as festivals and, as many said you valued, flamboyancy
🏮 Soji met you when you came looking for the Seven Lucky Gods, whom were being called out for battle soon and needed to practice their skills, just in case, you would remind them
🏮 What you did not expect was to find Odin's aura erupting as humans and Gods cowered away in fear, commenting on how strong or an aura he had, and how it must have been only a portion of it
🏮 You sighed from behind, making everyone look at you as you strode to grab Ebisu's hand, which had Buddha's lollipop stick still in it, and you began to scold to goatee-wearing God for being so dumb as to let something happen
🏮 While you strode away with Ebisu's ear in between your fingers, Soji couldn't help but wonder who you were and what you were to those Gods, those filthy and evil Gods...
🏮 Hearing about your story from Isami Kendo, listening intently as he spoke of how you basically raised the one God they once were, and when he split, you raised all of the Seven Lucky Gods until adulthood
🏮 He needed to speak to you here soon, you could answer the questions Kendo could not... and maybe he could train with you afterwards! Oh, how smart was he!
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coochiequeens · 1 year
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This is why we still need Women’s History Month.
By Martha Gill
What was life like for women in medieval times? “Awful” is the vague if definite answer that tends to spring to mind – but this is an assumption, and authors have been tackling it with new vigour.
The Once and Future Sex: Going Medieval on Women’s Roles in Society by Eleanor Janega, and The Wife of Bath: A Biography by Marion Turner both contend that women were not only bawdier but busier than we thought: they were brewers, blacksmiths, court poets, teachers, merchants, and master craftsmen, and they owned land too. A woman’s dowry, Janega writes, was often accompanied with firm instructions that property stay with her, regardless of what her husband wanted.
This feels like a new discovery. It isn’t, of course. Chaucer depicted many such cheerfully domineering women. The vellum letter-books of the City of London, in which the doings of the capital from 1275 to 1509 were scribbled, detail female barbers, apothecaries, armourers, shipwrights and tailors as a matter of course. While it is true that aristocratic women were considered drastically inferior to their male equivalents – traded as property and kept as ornaments – women of the lower orders lived, relatively, in a sort of rough and ready empowerment.
It was the Renaissance that vastly rolled back the rights of women. As economic power shifted, the emerging middle classes began aping their betters. They confined their women to the home, putting them at the financial mercy of men. Female religious power also dwindled. In the 13th century seeing visions and hearing voices might get a woman sainted; a hundred years later she’d more likely be burned at the stake.
“When it comes to the history of gender relations, storytellers portray women as more oppressed than they actually were”
Why does this feel like new information? Much of what we think we know about medieval times was invented by the Victorians, who had an artistic obsession with the period, and through poetry and endless retellings of the myth of King Arthur managed somehow to permanently infuse their own sexual politics into it. (Victorian women were in many respects more socially repressed than their 12th-century forebears.)
But modern storytellers are also guilty of sexist revisionism. We endlessly retread the lives of oppressed noblewomen, and ignore their secretly empowered lower-order sisters. Where poorer women are mentioned, glancingly, they are pitied as prostitutes or rape victims. Even writers who seem desperate for a “feminist take” on the period tend to ignore the angle staring them right in the face. In her 2022 cinematic romp, Catherine called Birdy, for example, Lena Dunham puts Sylvia Pankhurst-esque speeches into the mouth of her 13th-century protagonist, while portraying her impending marriage – at 14 – as normal for the period. (In fact the average 13th-century woman got married somewhere between the ages of 22 and 25.)
But we cling tight to these ideas. It is often those who push back against them who get accused of “historical revisionism”. This applies particularly to the fantasy genre, which aside from the odd preternaturally “feisty” female character, tends to portray the period as, well, a misogynistic fantasy. The Game of Thrones author George RR Martin once defended the TV series’ burlesque maltreatment of women on the grounds of realism. “I wanted my books to be strongly grounded in history and to show what medieval society was like.” Oddly enough, this didn’t apply to female body hair (or the dragons).
This is interesting. Most of our historical biases tend to run in the other direction: we assume the past was like the present. But when it comes to the history of gender relations, the opposite is true: storytellers insist on portraying women as more oppressed than they actually were.
“The history of gender relations might be more accurately painted as a tug of war between the sexes”
The casual reader of history is left with the dim impression that between the Palaeolithic era and the 19th century women suffered a sort of dark age of oppression. This is assumed to have ended some time around the invention of the lightbulb, when the idea of “gender equality” sprang into our heads and right-thinking societies set about “discovering” female competencies: women – astonishingly – could do 
things men could do!
In fact the history of gender relations might be more accurately painted as a tug of war between the sexes, with women sometimes gaining and sometimes losing power – and the stronger sex opportunistically seizing control whenever it had the means.
In Minoan Crete, for example, women had similar rights and freedoms to men, taking equal part in hunting, competitions, and celebrations.
But that era ushered in one of the most patriarchal societies the planet has ever known – classical Greece, where women had no political rights and were considered “minors”.
Or take hunter-gatherer societies, the source of endless cod-evolutionary theories about female inferiority. The discovery of female skeletons with hunting paraphernalia has disproved the idea that men only hunted and women only gathered – and more recently anthropologists have challenged the idea that men had higher status too: women, studies contend, had equal sway over group decisions.
This general bias has had two unfortunate consequences. One is to impress upon us the idea that inequality is “natural”. The other is to give us a certain complacency about our own age: that feminist progress is an inevitable consequence of passing time. “She was ahead of her time,” we say, when a woman seems unusually empowered. Not necessarily.
Two years ago, remember, sprang up one of the most vicious patriarchies in history – women were removed from their schools and places of work and battoned into homes and hijabs. And last year in the US many women lost one of their fundamental rights: abortion. (Turns out it was pro-lifers, not feminists, who were ahead of their time there.)
Both these events were greeted with shock from liberal quarters: how could women’s rights be going backwards? But that only shows we should brush up on our history. Another look at medieval women is as good a place to start as any.
 Martha Gill is a political journalist and former lobby correspondent
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ephemeral-cryptid · 11 months
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why some gods are more commonly worshiped than others
So, we all know that some deities are much more commonly worked with and worshiped than others, and most of us have our own ideas as to why. I think there’s a multitude of reasons, including the unsavory myths surrounding them, cultural bias, and lack of pop culture fame. However, the factor I want to talk about in this post is this: a lot of the less popular deities are deities with less obvious/direct impacts on our lives. 
I’m going to go through each of the 12 Olympians (plus Hestia) and explain how I believe this impacts our view of them and how we can recognize and get closer to them in our everyday lives. I’m only doing the 12 Olympians because I am most familiar with the Hellenic pantheon and if I did every single deity in this post, it would take a million years. I might do other deities in the future if anyone is interested or I feel called to.
Zeus:
So, I have to address the elephant in the room on this one. The big reason that people are wary of working with/worshiping Zeus is because of the popular myths surrounding him. With that out of the way, another thing influencing his worship, or lack thereof, is the fact that many people only think of him as the god of thunder, lightning, and rain. So, for the people that live in very dry areas, especially areas in a drought, it might feel unimportant to worship him. 
However, that is silly, as Zeus is not only the god of rainstorms. He also rules over the sky as a whole, all forms of weather, law and order, destiny and fate, and leadership.
Some ways to connect to Zeus in your day-to-day life are admiring and appreciating the sky and the weather, being thankful for nice weather, following fair rules and laws, acknowledging their importance, and being appreciative of them, taking initiative when necessary, and being a good leader if you’re in a leadership role. Zeus affects everyone in a very direct way, but a lot of us fail to realize it.
Hera:
Another deity whose worship is negatively impacted by her mythology is Hera. She is also affected by the common misconceptions about her dominion. For lots of people, when they think of Hera, they think of weddings. Everyone knows she’s the goddess of marriage, but a lot of people ignore the part that comes after the wedding, and weddings aren’t exactly an everyday occurrence, so this means a lot of people skimp out on their worship of her. 
She is not only the ruler of weddings though. She also rules marital harmony (the part that comes after the wedding), family, women, and a protector of women during childbirth/some say the goddess of birth itself. 
Some ways to connect with her in daily life are spending time with your family and/or partner, showing appreciation to your family and/or partner, setting healthy boundaries and having an open line of communication with your family and/or partner, researching parenthood/childbirth before you have kids or if you already have kids, expressing your femininity (this goes for men to, everyone has different levels of femininity and masculinity, no matter the gender) if you feel comfortable doing so, celebrating/appreciating the miracle of birth and fertility, and just in general being a good family member, partner, and parent. 
Poseidon:
Poseidon also has negative connotations due to his myths, though to a lesser extent than Hera and Zeus. Many people also choose not to worship him because they live inland far from the ocean. They feel disconnected from him because they’re so far from his domain (or so they think). Many of us don’t take into consideration his other aspects besides being the lord of the sea.
However, he also lords over earthquakes, any ocean-related storms (such as hurricanes and tsunamis), horses, droughts, and floods. If you have a connection to horses or experience a lot of floods, earthquakes, and/or ocean-related storms, you probably have a deeper connection with Poseidon than you think.
Some ways to involve him in your everyday life include being aware of and prepared for any incoming storms, possible floods, droughts, and earthquakes, getting involved with horses if that’s something you are interested in and capable of doing, conserve water, support foundations dedicated to cleaning the ocean, hurricane/drought/flood relief, and horse rescues if you are able, staying hydrated, doing what you can to reduce pollution (like not littering and picking up garbage off the ground), learning about geology/the ocean and the creatures in it/horses, and just appreciating water, horses, and the earth.
Demeter:
Demeter is an interesting case because I feel like a lot of us know how directly she impacts us but don’t feel close to her because of how uninvolved most people in first world countries are from the harvest. Most people inhabiting developed nations don’t grow our own food, so we aren’t knowledgeable about planting and harvesting, therefore we don’t feel connected enough to Demeter to worship her, much less devote ourselves to her.
She is primarily the goddess of the harvest and agriculture, but she also presides over fertility, plants in general but specifically grain, the life cycle, sacred law, and soil.
Some ways you can include her in your daily routine are planting a garden or even just a few flowers, appreciating and being grateful for the food you eat, educating yourself on what types of plants grow in your area and how to grow/harvest them, growing your own food when possible, learning about the life cycle, acknowledging the beauty of life and death, enjoying nature, and grounding yourself with the earth. 
Athena:
Athena is perhaps the most popular deity on this list so far, but she is still underappreciated in the modern era. I’m not exactly sure why she is worshiped so little. Perhaps it is because many people find her primary domain (wisdom) to be boring or maybe they just don’t think they’re “smart” enough or “good” enough to worship a goddess so revered as Athena (which I personally think is likely in a lot of cases). 
Athena is not only the goddess of wisdom but also war, good council, weaving and sewing, handicraft of any form (pottery, arts and crafts, etc.), and practical reasoning. You don’t have to have a certain “level of intelligence” in order to connect with her, only the desire to gain wisdom and knowledge.
Some ways to honor and connect with Athena in your everyday are learning about what you’re passionate about, reading, doing any form of crafts or handiwork, sewing or weaving, using your reasoning skills when you need to, making well-informed decisions, asking for and listening to advice from people more knowledgeable than you (if the advice is good), controlling your temper and impulses, learning how to channel your anger into something productive, standing up for yourself when necessary, and just in general pursuing wisdom and knowledge. 
Ares:
Ares is also a victim of unfavorable myths and representation in pop culture, which makes him less popular to worship. Unlike many of the other deities on this list who are unpopular only in the modern era, Ares was never popular, even in Ancient Greece. He suffers from having a domain that not many individuals like and most people nowadays will never directly experience. Most people in most developed countries will never go to war and a lot won’t even know anybody directly impacted by war, so they don’t think worshiping Ares is important. Seeing the Russia-Ukraine war is not enough for a lot of people because they’re just not there. In reality, everybody is impacted by war all the time, but I think a lot of people just don’t really consider how deeply it affects them. War is a core foundation of the human experience, but a lot of us fail to realize it.
Ares is the god of war (particularly brutal war), courage, battlelust, civil order, and the spirit of war personified. For this reason, I believe a lot of people are also afraid to worship him, but war is a constant in the human experience, whether we like it or not (which most of us obviously don’t), and Ares is much more important than people give him credit for.
Some ways to connect with Ares on the daily are being as courageous as you possibly can (without being stupid, of course), educating yourself on wars of the past, why they occurred, how they went down, etc., educating yourself on and perhaps getting involved in ongoing wars (what I mean by this is just spreading awareness and donating money if you can), being an activist for causes that are important to you, standing up for yourself, learning how wars from the past and ongoing wars are still affecting people in the modern day, acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of war, and channeling your anger in a productive way.
Hephaestus:
Hephaestus is unpopular, in my opinion, mostly because people either think he’s unattractive and wrongfully judge him for it and/or they don’t do metalwork themselves, so they think that he has little impact on their lives. Of course, that’s not the only thing he rules over, but that’s what he’s most known for, so people tend to forget him.
Hephaestus is not only the god of metalwork and blacksmithing, but also fire, volcanoes, carpentry, the art of sculpture, metallurgy, artisans, and technology in general. (I personally also see him as a protector of people with disabilities, but that’s just a UPG.) The device you’re using to read this post right now is a blessing of Hephaestus.
Some things you can do to include him in your daily life are acknowledging and appreciating all the ways technology helps you everyday, building and putting together things (this can be as simple as building with legos or doing a jigsaw puzzle), building a fire in a fireplace or creating a bonfire if possible, appreciating the beauty of fire and acknowledging how it benefits you, sculpting if that’s something you enjoy, and creating new things (even doing art falls under Hephaestus’s sphere of influence). Anytime you are creating something new, you are honoring Hephaestus.
Aphrodite:
Aphrodite is the first deity on this list that I feel doesn’t suffer from a lack of popularity, likely because love is something almost everyone has some form of experience with. Aphrodite impacts us all in a very obvious, direct way, which makes approaching her easy and desirable. It’s crazy how much of our lives revolve around love.
Aphrodite is the goddess of all forms of love, beauty, sexuality, desire, lust, fertility, and procreation. 
Some ways you can honor Aphrodite are by being a good friend, family member, and partner, seeing the beauty in everything, setting boundaries and having healthy communication in your relationships, loving the little things in life, being kind and loving to others, seeing the beauty in yourself and others, having confidence in yourself, not feeling shame over lustful feelings, educating yourself on reproduction and healthy relationships, not judging others for their physical appearance, and appreciating the beauty of life and fertility
Artemis:
Artemis is less popular than Aphrodite, but she doesn’t have the lack of popularity that the other deities on this list do. She has a very direct impact on people’s lives as well. The moon is something everybody has experience with and it comes out everyday and nature is everywhere, which makes her sphere of influence very noticeable, hence the popularity. Nature and wildlife is also everywhere and has a very easily observable effect on our lives. She is also a very empowering protector of women, which adds to her popularity. 
She is the goddess of the moon, the hunt, nature, wildlife, young women, animals, virginity, archery, sudden death of women and girls, and childbirth.
Some ways to get closer to Artemis everyday are appreciating the beauty of nature and the moon, treating all animals with kindness (unless they’re endangering you or something), volunteering or donating to animal shelters if possible, not littering, cleaning up litter, learning archery if you are able and want to, getting involved with feminist movements and other movements you’re interested in, help hurt animals or women that need it, if you go hunting, thank your prey after you kill it and use all parts of the body that you can, thank all the meat that you eat for their sacrifice and don’t take it for granted, get educated on reproductive health, treat  all people, but specifically women, nature, and wildlife with respect and kindness, learn about the wildlife and nature in your area, and learn about moon cycles and how the moon affects the earth
Apollo:
Apollo is arguably the most popular deity among modern day polytheists, which makes sense given the sheer amount of domains he rules over. Health, the sun, art, prophecy, and archery are probably the first things that come to mind for most of us, but that only begins to cover the things that he rules over.
Apollo is the god of health, archery, prophecy and oracles, music, all forms of art, plague and disease, protection of the young, the sun, knowledge, herds and flocks, light, truth, guilt, poetry, protection of cities, and more (if I listed everything, we’d be here for days). So you can probably see why he’s so popular.
There are so many things you could do to honor him in your daily life. You can make art, music, or poetry, you can listen to music, read poetry, or look at art, you can keep yourself as healthy as you can, you can learn archery if you’re able, you can help the sick and the young in any way you can, you can sit outside and enjoy the sunlight when it’s out or just open your curtains, you can learn about things you’re interested in, you can try to be as honest as possible, you can work through your guilt and overcome it, you can protect children if you see they’re in danger, you can learn an instrument, you could share your knowledge with other people, and I’m sure you could think of much more given his wide sphere of influence.
Hermes:
Hermes is probably the second most popular deity in modern days after Apollo. Again, this makes sense given how many things he has dominion over. His realm of influence is also very important and easy to see the direct influence of in your real life, which also boosts his popularity. He’s also said to be the “most human” god because he interacted with them the most often through his messages and being a psychopomp, and he’s known to be quite easy-going and easy to work with, which definitely helps. 
He is the god of communication, herds and flocks, travelers, hospitality, trade, thievery, cunning, heralds, diplomacy, language, writing, athleticism and competitions, astronomy, astrology, merchants, wit, speed, commerce, and he was a psychopomp and messenger of the gods. Like Apollo, I’m sure there’s some things that I’ve missed, but if I covered everything it would take forever.
There are soooo many things you can do to connect with Hermes, more than I could ever list, but some things you can do are improving your communication skills, setting boundaries in your relationships, travelling if you want to and are able, learning a new language, journalling, working on your writing skills, being kind and hospitable to strangers, talking to people, doing sports/taking a walk/anything athletic, participating in competitions if that’s something you enjoy, learning  about astronomy and/or astrology, and being diplomatic in your conversations with others (unless you have a good reason not to). Again, I’m sure there’s much more, but these are just some ideas.
Dionysus:
Dionysus is another fairly commonly worshiped deity among current polytheists. Unsurprising considering how popular alcohol and theater is in most cultures. Dionysus has always been and will always be popular due to his fun, chaotic nature and how popular his sphere of rule is. 
He is the god of alcohol (specifically wine), theater, madness, ecstasy, festivity, insanity, orchards and fruit,  vegetation, fertility, and wild frenzy. 
Some things you can due to get closer to Dionysus in the day-to-day are drinking alcohol if you are of age (responsibly), watching live theater and movies/tv, doing things you enjoy, dancing (bonus points if you’re dancing erratically), eating fruit or drinking fruit juice (especially grapes), taking care of your mental health, educating yourself on mental health, learning about the history of theater, and just enjoying life.
Hestia: 
Hestia is another deity that does not get enough appreciation. She used to be one of, if not, the most universally worshiped deity, but now it’s very rare to find someone that regularly worships her. I think maybe a part of it is that she’s considered more “boring,” but I also think lots of polytheists are uneducated on what she actually has influence on. I think people hear that she’s the goddess of the “hearth” and think that she must be outdated since we don’t have hearths anymore. Meals also aren’t as valued as they were back in Ancient Greece because they are so much easier to access, so she just isn’t quite as relevant as in the past. 
Hestia is the goddess of the hearth, the home, sacred and sacrificial fire, virginity, family, and the state. She has some very important influence in our life, but a lot of people just don’t know what she’s really the goddess of.
Some things you can do to honor Hestia are cooking, cleaning, burning a fire in your fireplace or starting a bonfire if you’re able, being kind to people, being good to your family, and being a contributing member of the state.
I hope some of you found this useful. If you disagree with me on anything, that’s alright. My word isn’t law. This is just my opinion, and you’re free to leave yours in the comments. There are many nuances and details that are left out of this post because it’s not comprehensive, so just know there’s a lot I left out. If you got this far, thanks for reading, and I hope you got something out of this :)
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brother-emperors · 3 months
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What do you mean when you say that Pompey is a lover in a story of inescapable violence? I am extremely intrigued
the Late Republic is a stage of violence intent on gorging itself on this violence, the structure of the system leaves no other outcome.
Pompey is both someone born into this cycle and someone who is an acting hand of violence. He fashions himself after a military ideal, Alexander the Great, he positions himself as Sulla’s successor in the arena of political spectacle (rising/setting sun), he is Rome’s conquering hand.
He’s also, in Plutarch’s biography, intensely aware of matters of love and romance and does not treat them as an idle and casual affair. It is, in some way, an inherent part of his character. He is the ideal of a husband, even if it conflicts with whatever other ideals he’s supposed to embody, and apparently trades in his role as a general to remain in Rome with his wife.
We are told that Flora the courtesan, when she was now quite old, always took delight in telling about her former intimacy with Pompey, saying that she never left his embraces without bearing the marks of his teeth. Furthermore, Flora would tell how Geminius, one of Pompey's companions, fell in love with her and annoyed her greatly by his attentions; and when she declared that she could not consent to his wishes because of Pompey, Geminius laid the matter before Pompey. Pompey, accordingly, turned her over to Geminius, but never afterwards had any thing at all to do with her himself, although he was thought to be enamoured of her; and she herself did not take this treatment as a mere courtesan would, but was sick for a long time with grief and longing. (…) Moreover, Pompey also treated the wife of Demetrius his freedman (who had the greatest influence with him and left an estate of four thousand talents) with a lack of courtesy and generosity unusual in him, fearing lest men should think him conquered by her beauty, which was irresistible and far-famed. But though he was so extremely cautious in such matters and on his guard, still he could not escape the censures of his enemies on this head, but was accused of illicit relations with married women, to gratify whom, it was said, he neglected and betrayed many public interests.
Plut. Pomp. 2
All this won him admiration and affection; but on the other hand he incurred a corresponding displeasure, because he handed over his provinces and his armies to legates who were his friends, while he himself spent his time with his wife among the pleasure-places of Italy, going from one to another, either because he loved her, or because she loved him so that he could not bear to leave her; for this reason too is given. Indeed, the fondness of the young woman for her husband was notorious, although the mature age of Pompey did not invite such devotion. The reason for it, however, seems to have lain in the chaste restraint of her husband, who knew only his wedded wife, and in the dignity of his manners, which were not severe, but full of grace, and especially attractive to women, as even Flora the courtesan may be allowed to testify.
Plut. Pomp. 53
Nevertheless, the marriage was displeasing to some on account of the disparity in years; for Cornelia's youth made her a fitter match for a son of Pompey. 3 Those, too, who were more critical, considered that Pompey was neglect­ful of the unhappy condition of the city, which had chosen him as her physician and put herself in his sole charge; whereas he was decking himself with garlands and celebrating nuptials, though he ought to have regarded his very consul­ship as a calamity, since it would not have been given him in such an illegal manner had his country been prosperous.
Plut. Pomp. 55
The messenger, finding her in this mood, could not bring himself to salute her, but indicated to her the most and greatest of his misfortunes by his tears rather than by his speech, and merely bade her hasten if she had any wish to see Pompey with one ship only, and that not his own. When she heard this, she cast herself upon the ground and lay there a long time bereft of sense and speech. At last, however, and with difficulty, she regained her senses, and perceiving that the occasion was not one for tears and lamentations, she ran out through the city to the sea. Pompey met her and caught her in his arms as she tottered and was falling. "I see thee," she cried, "husband, not by thy fortune, but by mine, reduced to one small vessel, thou who before thy marriage with Cornelia didst sail this sea with five hundred ships. Why hast thou come to see me, and why didst thou not leave to her cruel destiny one who has infected thee also with an evil fortune so great? What a happy woman I had been if I had died before hearing that Publius, whose virgin bride I was, was slain among the Parthians! And how wise if, even after his death, as I essayed to do, I had put an end to my own life! But I was spared, it seems, to bring ruin also upon Pompey the Great."
So spake Cornelia, as we are told, and Pompey answered, saying: "It is true, Cornelia, thou hast known but one fortune to be mine, the better one, and this has perhaps deceived thee too, as well as me, in that it remained with me longer than is customary. But this reverse also we must bear, since we are mortals, and we must still put fortune to the test. For I can have some hope of rising again from this low estate to my former high estate, since I fell from that to this.”
Plut. Pomp. 74-75
I have some vague thought in here about how Pompey was entrusted with Rome’s safety, and that conflicts with his Lover status because you can’t love something more than Rome without Rome deciding to cast you out, and it also prevents him from reclaiming his Soldier role in the ensuing war with Caesar. Doomed by Rome, doomed by Love, doomed by Fortune, etc. but also simply the inevitable cycle of war and violence, the ever turning wheel of Rome.
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gatheringbones · 2 years
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I’m going back to Angela Davis’s homophobic description of the dykes she met in jail that she wrote before coming out and I can’t get over how much I’ve seen the same basic framing before:
[“Since the majority of the prisoners seemed to be at least casually involved in the family structure, there had to be a great number of lesbians throughout the jail. Homosexuality is bound to occur on a relatively large scale in any place of sexually segregated confinement. I knew this before I was arrested. I was not prepared, however, for the shock of seeing it so thoroughly entrenched in jail life. There were the masculine and feminine role-playing women; the former, the butches, were called “he.” During the entire six weeks I spent on the seventh floor, I could not bring myself to refer to any woman with a masculine pronoun, although some of them, if they hadn’t been wearing the mandatory dresses, would never have been taken for women. Many of them—both the butches and the femmes—had obviously decided to take up homosexuality during their jail terms in order to make that time a little more exciting, in order to forget the squalor and degradation around them. When they returned to the streets, they would rejoin their men and quickly forget their jail husbands and wives. An important part of the family system was the marriages. Some of them were extremely elaborate—with invitations, a formal ceremony, and some third person acting as the “minister.” The “bride” would prepare for the occasion as if for a real wedding. With all the marriages, the seeking of trysting places, the scheming that went on by one woman to catch another, the conflicts and jealousies—with all this—homosexuality emerged as one of the centers around which life in the House of Detention revolved. Certainly, it was a way to counteract some of the pain of jail life; but objectively, it served to perpetuate all the bad things about the House of Detention. “The Gay Life” was all-consuming; it prevented many of the women from developing their personal dissatisfaction with the conditions around them into a political dissatisfaction, because the homosexual fantasy life provided an easy and attractive channel for escape for many.”]
so many different things to pull out. That butches and femmes are victims who lean on each other in times of crisis and forget about each other as soon as their circumstances are improved, her real horror at the mismatch of genitals and body arrangements on display around her, how frustrated she is by the people she needs to become self-sacrificing communist heroes sinking into distraction instead, her sympathy for those who use skin contact and social relations and healing sex to cope with the overwhelming violence of jail life warring with her disgust for escapism and wasted time, the posing of gay life as an all consuming false identity that takes the place of a real personality, her awareness of how much she was able to accomplish as far as challenging the administration in her short time there compared with what she thinks the other prisoners SHOULD have been able to push for if they weren’t so distracted by sex and family instead.
she recanted all of it later of course, her foreword is full of disappointment at how little she understood when she was that age, but the fact that she did think and feel that is timeless.
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theprophetsaid · 15 days
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please spill more of your thoughts about harold may
*cracks knuckles*
Based on everything Brian has said, it seems as if Harold had a certain idea of what he wanted his son to be, namely a traditional patriarch (the husband, the father, the head of the family) with an academic education. This is the role that Harold himself had (For instance, Brian has talked about Harold not allowing his wife to obtain a driver's license), and he wanted Brian to follow in his footsteps. This isn't uncommon, of course, but it evidently was a lot of pressure for Brian to shoulder, especially as an only child.
Brian has talked at length about Harold disapproving of his putting aside his education to focus on Queen - disapproving to the point where he refused to speak to him for a long time! And economic insecurity wasn't the issue here. The problem was, as Brian has said, that Harold himself had been "forced" to give up his musical dreams to settle down with his family. So, basically, he just resented Brian for being able to follow a dream he himself had to lay to rest. I think this is incredibly messed up. As a parent, you should want your child to achieve their dreams instead of actively blaming them for trying. (It's also worth noting that this might be the reason why Brian didn't fully consider his musical career a "worthy job" until he was in his fucking fifties/sixties!)
There's also the issue of marriage. I think there's enough evidence to suggest that Brian wouldn't have married his first wife if he hadn't been eager to please his father. He said in an interview with Howard Stern (while talking about his first marriage) that he felt he'd tried to "live the dreams of his parents" instead of doing "what he actually wanted to do," and that says it all, I think. The values imposed on him by his father kept him from living the life he really wanted for himself.
And then, of course, I have to be controversial and say that Brian has expressed feelings of shame related to "issues with" his "heterosexuality" that I can't help thinking are also connected to the way he was raised and the values he's internalized. I mean, there's a tape of Brian in his late fifties openly stating that he sees beauty "not only in women (...) in things I've been insulated from in the past," heavily implying that he's been prevented from recognizing his own attraction to men, specifically because of or by something. So there's also that.
(tl; dr: Harold May imposed rigid traditions and values based on his own failings onto Brian, which instilled in him feelings of shame and worthlessness, in relation to his marriage, his profession, and his sexuality).
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Sakamaki and Mukami cheating on s/o headcanons, please.
Shu
I want to say he wouldn’t cheat on his lovers because it’s too much effort but I also can’t see him having the attempt to upkeep a relationship. 
in a relationship with him sex is vital, and if he wasn’t sexually compatible with you he wouldn’t be dating you. 
However if whilst dating you he sees a woman who is more his type I wouldn’t be too surprised if he just ghosts you one day for someone else. It isn’t two-timing as much as it’s him getting bored of one woman to the next.
The only exceptions to this I see would be if he were really attached to you because abandonment issues are big with him, or if you have a family. I see him as someone whose epitomic goal in life is that big house with a yard and white fence with a caring wife and 2 kids and a dog, it’s an ideal he has made for himself even if it isn’t what’s best compatible for him.
If you can somehow give this man that idyllic scenario and become the mother of his children I think the chances of him getting distracted are extremely low, partially because you’ve proved to him you’re worthy of standing by his side through it emotionally and physically and you’ve helped him escape the hole he hid in.
I mean this man pulls, okay Shu gets women (and men - I’m not joking when I say he has top tier rizz when he wants) when I talk about him getting bored it doesn’t mean any woman will do it, he needs a trigger, a gesture that captures his attention and there is literally nothing bigger than this for him. 
So he can be loyal it just depends how much he values that woman
Reiji
Adultery is not very gentlemanly, guys! Like hello, who do you think he is?
However he has nothing against having multiple wives, I mean his father had them, most vampire nobles have them, and it’s political gain at the end of the day. Unless you’re doubting his noble blood? 
This man has strived to be King for such a large portion of his life, if one political marriage is what he needs to set it in stone why wouldn’t he do it? But trust he won’t stand for all that messy fighting his stepmothers were into, he will be in control. He’s just not into all that like his reputation is based on you, so you better act like it; this also includes lovers his wives cannot have lovers like Cordelia, imagine how it would reflect on his image. Especially if one of them had something going on with his brothers? That’s mad bro. Like I would be surprised if he didn’t have them beheaded for immoral behaviour or divorced if her family was that important.
 Even if you’re the love of his life - yes -you would be his favourite wife and all the others could do whatever they wanted but if he needed an heir to solidify he will have relations with other women.
But again he's very prideful, so there's also the factor he believes he can fullfil his roles without these political relationships.
So loyalty has a high chance but it depends
 Ayato
 No. 
I know, it's insane to imagine him having the highest chances of faithfulness out of his brothers. 
Just with a childhood like his and all the close-up drama and conflict that came with affairs, I feel like he would just feel general nausea towards two-timing. That doesn’t mean he’s against playing dickhead, where he pretends to flirt with others to get you jealous or compares you to others, or even kisses them and threatens to take them home. But he won’t sleep with another woman till he's out of that relationship.
May I just clarify he is an idiot and you will have to specify you are in a relationship, otherwise he will continue to view you as an on and off situationship and keep many side things? Only once you have established the fact you are in a relationship will he block them off.
However, this does mean you will have to be there for him hand to foot, whatever he wants without overwhelming him or his commitment issues have him one foot out the door. So I wouldn’t worry about cheating as much as I worry about commitment issues and just general jerk behaviour
Kanato 
Uhhh it’s a bit strange guys. I feel a lot of madonna-whore complexing here, along with parasocial relationships.
I don’t even know, what did you do to the teddy that he told him to go give back shots to another gal? Nah I’m joking although there is a decent chance of that scenario.
He has a very hypersexual drive, so I feel like if you can’t keep up rather than breaking up, he will just push past your limits till you break which is very unfortunate for him so he will find someone else. I think he has too much paranoia to cheat on someone, I mean finding one person who wants a genuine relationship is a lot can you imagine 2? Especially since he knows how many of his mother’s affairs were just so they could gain royal patronage. 
However he has this really strange Madonna whore thing, his dolls are usually his Madonna, he has this weird parasocial relationship where he devotes time, money, attention and affection whilst his dolls are just there, not leaving his side. Pure and untainted by their womanly wiles in their wedding dresses, they are the standard you will be compared to.
But I mean at least they aren’t alive?
Laito
I mean there is so much where do you even want me to start?
Yes. most definitely, there are other girls, why are you delusional, he is fucking other women and men.
 No, it is not just physical, one day you will randomly find his girlfriend of 3 years, his long-distance boyfriend of 5 years, the girl who he had been engaged to for 2 years and had a relationship with for 4 years, the 2 girls he has a ménage à trois for nearly a year now, the 16 one night stands in the past month.
HE WILL HAVE A 25-PERSON ORGY IN YOUR OWN BEDROOM AND GASLIGHT YOU INTO IT NOT BEING REAL.
Like I can’t even get into the psychology of it because would take up his own triple-part post, just know that if Laito is suspected of having an affair it is true.
There are very few chances of him being faithful.
Subaru
My little slut. I love him, honestly, this man is so repressed you really can’t tell which way he is going to explode.
Personally, he isn’t going to cheat, it’s on his skewed moral code, but you never know. 
I feel like there was an incident; like it’s never happened before or after that day, an anomaly where he was so angry and furious he takes another woman to bed, it’s rough and mean and there is no intention of it but it happens.
The guilt the next morning destroys him, a part of that survived from when he was a tiny child, one that expects better of him, and continues to persevere no matter how hard it gets because that little boy inside him still believes he is better than the blood that flows in him is killed. 
One of the major reasons his mother tortured herself, was because she was the other woman, the third wife, he watched day by day how that title chipped away at her till her soul escaped in utterly miserable leaving behind an empty shell.
And he destroys that faith.
He envisions every scenario of how you would take the news, and it is unbearable, he sobs, he breaks things, and he returns back into his fortress built as a boy when he shows up at your door with the fact that your relationship is over, no explanation or reason. 
Just the cemented fact that someone like him is not just difficult to love, but a bad choice, someone who shouldn’t be loved. It is fracturing and disgusting but his solitude is so familiar there is no option but to believe someone like him, so undeserving of companionship much less affection belongs here.
Ruki 
No, but yes, but very strongly no.
Like it’s complicated, there are stages of mommy issues involved but he’s just so special he’s got them daddy issues too.
Look the chances are very low, his mother abandoned their family due to having an affair, which is what he views as utterly detestable and simply unacceptable as it is what he thinks is the first domino to go down in the chain of events that led to his tragic downfall from grace.
He’s like a jacobean man, back then women were more prone to mental health issues hence hysteria is a feminine trait, therefore, it is not something men should ever show or you might as well emasculate yourself.
The same thing with him, aside from the fact he knows the consequences of it first hand, he would never because he views it as a feminine trait to be unfaithful, his views on women aren’t very high at all. 
It makes sense for women to be flimsy, weak-minded, and easily led astray to unfaithfulness.
It’s just something he finds unpleasant so I don’t necessarily think it’s something he would indulge in; also there is the factor he is loyal to Karl and his main focus is the Eden plan so really since he wants to be Adam there isn’t much need to be sleeping or seeing any other woman, but the one he needs for his cause.
Kou
Yeah.  he’s got side hoes. Like just side hoes. The chances of him having anyone as a main hoe is unlikely, but the main gal? Forget it.
It’s just “ but I have so much love to give” and “it’s not my fault everyone wants me”, it’s like talking to a brick wall when it comes to loyalty, he thinks it’s so funny making people chase his affection knowing damn well from the beginning none of it would sway his distrust and paranoia when it came to relationships.
The chances of a faithful relationship are very one-sided, Kou expects the utmost loyalty from his counterpart but he will have no intention to return it.
Yuma
No… leave my baby daddy alone guys.
No, I’m kidding. It’s very similar to Ayato, he will definitely checks out other girls when they walk past and get you jealous because he thinks it is so cute how much you like him. But he won’t actually cheat on you if you are in a relationship.
Especially, because he also likes the domesticated family idea, if you aren’t his ideal woman with who he wants to start a family; why wouldn’t he want to invest in an emotional relationship with that woman? 
This doesn’t mean he doesn’t fuck though, he fucks.
Just when he sees someone who fits his weird mental checklist and is feisty and resilient enough to keep up with him; he puts in so much effort to continue pursuing them and keep them by his side.
Azusa
No. I mean come on it’s Azusa, no. you guys have too much PTSD from the Sakamakis.
Although he might propose you cheat on him because he’s heard how painful it can be, he seems like the type to have a cuckold kink.
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dwreader · 9 months
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one of the few good faith questions about s1 gender roles is why louis is only paralleled with white women. why does the show make him iolanta, melisande, nora helmer, etc and not claire kendry or janie crawford, characters who also appear in literature from the show's time period. why is he reading flaubert, colette, edward carpenter and not claude mckay or nella larsen who actually writes a lot about interractial relationships. on one hand the showrunner is white and maybe those are the texts he feels most comfortable with, but there are more than a few black creatives working on the show who are contributing in significant ways.
first of all, characters like iolanta, stella kowalski and nora helmer do not need to be white. they are white in their original forms because the writers were white and sometimes based them on real people. tenessee williams always wanted to have streetcar performed by diverse casts even though he based the characters partly on people in his own family. many productions now have non-white actresses in these roles (assad zaman was in one of these productions of a doll's house). also we can safely say lestat assigns melisande to louis because that's the kind of shit he's into (french opera based on a belgian story) and he's not really well read.
beyond that though, to me the reason louis is paralleled with white women is because he's married to a white man in 1910 louisiana where not only was interracial marriage illegal but homosexual relations and even interractial cohabitation were banned. but because of lestat's power, money and their vampire powers, these roles don't really apply to them. people who were in interracial or homosexual relationships in the 1910s had very different struggles and conflicts from loustat, like most of them could barely step outside without worrying about their safety. they certainly wouldn't be parading around society together all the time while even the politicians and authorities know about their relationship. so how do you make sense of your marriage if its very existence is anachronistic?? who's writing about your experiences if your experience is such an outlier in your society literally due to supernatural forces? there's no shortage of black literature in this time period (which overlaps with the harlem renaissance!) but being married to a white man is quite fundamentally different to being married to a non-white man especially in early 20th century. a white man has complete control over his dominion which includes the home and the outside world. a non-white man may have control over his home but the minute he steps out the door he's at the mercy of white men, he could be killed for simply looking at someone the wrong way, which makes non-white men impossible to relate to lestat. and who was allowed to be married to white men in those days? white women.
and ultimately louis is nora because the conflict of needing to escape an overbearing husband was something allowed only to white women in literature/theater. the reason we find so many parallels between louis and white female characters like belle even now is because his role in this story is largely reserved for white women and this has clearly ruffled a lot of feathers because its unfamiliar. i'll be curious to see what the show does as time moves forward but for season 1 it's very clear to me why the show chose these specific intertextual references.
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horizon-verizon · 1 month
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Cersei vs Rhaenyra's Children: The Political & Personal Implications of Their Appearances & Existences
[REDO bc previous wasn't written well enough]
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Aside from THIS and THIS showing how negligible & changeable the effects and meaning of "bastardry" was in the real world and Westeros (very important posts)...
Despite the argument that Rhaenyra's cheating doesn't equal modern-day cheating, the flavor of feudal monarchist misogyny against female agency, and how Rhaenyra actually didn't have that many options of a safe father for her necessary heirs (scroll down to section D, parts 3-5), there are still some who argue that she should have chosen someone who looks like Laenor or like her, sometimes using Cercei' 's situation with her own kids and Robert to say "At ThE eNd Of ThE dAy", Rhaenyra's kids are bastards.
No, neither set are bastards.
Neither set were ever declared or "acknowledged" as bastards. Robert probably would have had he bene informed, but bc he died before then, Cersei's kids are not officially bastards…which is what is required to have them "legally" known as bastards. Because bastardry has always been more of a legal question in its nature than a biological fact of nature. Of course, we know that Rhaenyra's kids aren't Laenor's biologically; Ned deuced that Cersei's weren't Robert's biologically. And medieval customs put the social-legal identification of "bastard" based on the institution of marriage and its compulsions on women and their reproductive labor claimed by the men "licensed" to own them. Which is why when we say that neither Cersei's nor Rhaenyra's kids are "bastards", it is true because the role of bastardry is to attempt to reclaim the product of reproductive labor…and Viserys/Corlys/Laenor/Robert have already done that. To protest about how Robert didn't know about his kids not being his kids is really to protest how he didn't not get the products of Cersei's reproductive labor the in the objectifying business of labor intrinsic in this feudal society. Whereas Viserys/Laenor/Corlys accepted the products of Rhaenyra's reproductive labor.
They both "get away" with something, with being revealed & exposed as having had extramarital sex (not "affairs", bc Rhaenyra didn't have an affair, she and Laenor had and agreement!)...but because they do not share the same positions nor have the same sort of people around them, their kids therefore are not in the same boats nor do not share similar sociopolitical positions. And yes, if the parentage of their kids get exposed, there are possible, terrible consequences. But they will not be treated the same.
Sometimes people argue that Cersei had even more success in passing off her kids than Rhaenyra bc "at least" they look like her...even this is negliable and reductive.
A) Really, the Prime Reason, but whatever, this is a Master Post
Rhaenyra is the heir. All her kids have DIRECT claim to the Iron throne through her. Not Laenor, not Daemon, not Harwin...RHAENYRA!
Cersei's children "should" have had claim to the throne from their father Robert because Cersei has no claim AT ALL to the Iron throne bc she's not a Baratheon. Indirect nor Direct.
["direct" refers to a vertical lineage (mom and grandparent were heirs or the monarchs); "indirect" would be like your cousin or uncle being the heir or monarch]
And adding onto this, Viserys, the MONARCH, ABSOLUTELY knows those children are biologically Laenor's Laenor knows. Corlys knows. Yet all three accept those kids as their heirs/relations and thus also place them as their respective heirs for their respective seats. (This is an example of how lords are far more interested in making sure that their singular, sovereign privilege to decide things for their house and reducing the chances of dissenters than they are in seeing a possible claimaint question them or challenge them/their heirs for power, whether they have claim or not. that the oaths that any perosn makes to them are honored and in that way they can also be assured to have the loyalties of those making those oaths. Rhaenyra's claim had other implications and stakes for the lords than her being a woman! Hence why most of Westeros pledged and fought for Rhaenyra!!!--thought from rhaenin-time here on Tumblr)
As for "but they were never publicly recognized or acknowledged as bastards for them to be openly legitimized", only the monarch can declare any legitimizations -> there has never been a time when a noble/royal woman--who did not rule a house or the realm in her own right nor was declared as an heir--birthing a bastard has had that bastard legitimized except for Daemon Blackfyre. Daena was not a Queen regnant nor ever the heir. She was slotted to be the Queen Consort, like Cersei became. Rhaenyra does not share this position, she was the heir and if you are wondering why this matters, you have not read my previous paragraphs correctly or at all.
In acknowledgements--when "the biological father of a bastard may...bring him formally into his house"--it is always been the father doing the customary acknowledgement! Why? Because women who have extramarital sex, unlike men, usually don't given keep the right to marry bc she's "ruined", "unchaste", or-and "disobedient" and "unfaithful", much less be considered an autonomous claimant to anything. A person who is forever considered more a dependent than an agent in their own society cannot have the same abilities as an agent unless they are like Rhaenyra...and even then the gender roles are so strong as to make exceptions for someone like Rhaenyra. Since to be a woman = "obedience" to a male/male adjacent force/entity.
Daemon Blackfyre's father, Aegon IV, was not only royal-noble himself, he was the King (Aegon IV). If Daena had Daemon by a noble nonroyal, or a peasant man, her son would never have been legitimized even with her acknowledging him bc she had already been politically subordinated by Baelor, the Dance, etc. so as to not have political allies at court/beyond and be even less considered as the "safe" enough". Even if she had been older than Aegon IV. Any child she had/Daemon's claim to the throne would be considered weaker than any child by Aegon IV, bastard or not. Which is a huge reason why she went for Aegon IV of all people when she escaped!!!! Besides the fact that it would have been beyond obvious that Naerys was not at all his type and he would have not tried to hide that, she not only wanted to express her defiance and autonomy for her being locked up, she wanted her own blood claim (the political power she had left) to really mean something after Baelor's naked attempts to diminish it. By being the mother to a child who could reasonably compete with any of Aegon's even just in theory, she in turn "restores" the value and meaning of her own blood/power. Again, what mattered is that her kid(s) is also another Targ's, bastard or not.
There is no agnatic primogeniture in Westeros except maybe in the North (girls are not heirs or monarch no matter what). Except Dorne, where there is absolute primogeniture--any firstborn, male or female--can become the heir/ruler--Westeros has always done male-preferred primogeniture. Men have chosen female heirs or rulers, have been lead by women. Look them up in A World of Ice and Fire.
Men have been the final authority or privileged decider of the two genders precisely because they were the ones who usually had the power to do so. There is no written and consistent "law", only traditions and customs. So yes they have had the only practical authority to "acknowledge".
Therefore on the issue of Rhaenyra's kids having strong claim...yes they do, because Rhaenyra is in a similar[not same] position of every lord, male noble, and male heir: she is the "decider" of her house. Daemon was not the one to make final decisions of Dragonstone when they married, that was all Rhaenyra!
Whereas Cersei's kids do not in the purest technical sense because she has no claim at all to the throne by blood and Westeros is not 17th-18thth centuries Russia where a empress consort could become empress regnant through her marriage alone.
And obviously, since Rhaenyra is the next head and her firstborn is Jace and we don't see her choose any heirs apart from him...Jace is her legitimate heir.
B) Cersei's reason for choosing Jaime or not the same for why Rhaenyra chose Harwin to be the father of hers.
We could argue all day that genetics gives us children who could inherit "50-50" of their parents' features or something like that, but:
ASoIaF genetics is weirder than real genetics.
The Baratheons (even when marrying Lannisters & other houses) tend to yield dark-haired kids, & yet Cersei's 3 kids are all blonde with no Baratheon gray eyes...it's like people forgot the information Ned used to prove that she was fucking Jaime and was passing her kids off as Robert's in the first place, but maybe some people who argue this simply hadn't read the books while they make arguments about the series simultaneously
Both women relied on their aristocratic privileges to maintain and accrue power (Rhaenyra, blood claim and king-chosen; Cersei, born an aristocrat, a Lannister, and married to a King, mother to another). Cersei actually should be risking herself similar to how some say Rhaenyra was. She's not protected by a royal father, but by an "ordinary" aristocratic man, right?
Wrong!
Tywin Lannister is not that much smarter than Tyrion or her; it's that he's built a very intimidating reputation from his ruthlessness towards the Reynes, amassed great wealth, sided with Robert at the last minute, and made/maintained important connections (Steffon Baratheon and Aerys II) since he was in his early twenties. Nevertheless, in the world they live in, he has made his house more materially powerful and socially prestigious than it has ever been. But his greatest oversight was to abuse his own kids into their own versions of incompetencies so that his house wouldn't be able to continue its stature beyond himself and his brother Kevan. But for the sake of the climate Cersei grew up and developed her Lannister Exceptionalism, what I say still matters. With her father's influence and silent rejection, she has learned that to be powerful is to abuse and use up others. To cause enough fear to intimidate others that they couldn't dare to attack her or anyone she loved.
(For writings about Cersei, click HERE, HERE, and HERE).
She has less faith put into her than Rhaenyra had & she has been raised-left to block out what could diminish the soundness of her ideas through trying to emulate Tywin while not having his man-exclusive privileges. We have seen Cersei's mind and how she thinks for many chapters. While she has a good knowledge of history, she is also not patient or self-aware/accepting enough of her own limits to be good at critical thinking & be a good enough strategist. She's too prideful and full of deluded self-grandeur--her way of self-affirming against the misogyny she received since she was below 10 butting against her need to practice "real", substantive power. The same kind & level of power and compunction men are allowed.
But with this AND the fact they are different types of Queens...
While both women were severely limited in what partner they could have while still expect to have the security and positions that they had:
Rhaenyra, as the first true female heir apparent of the realm, had to have more planning and preparations for her to be able to ascend with as little issue as possible than if she were male. Rhaenyra's husband was gay and couldn't bring himself to "properly" impregnate her. She had to have heirs to secure her own claim and Viserys' wishes that she take the throne. It was her "duty" as a woman AND heir. It was thus also the only way she'd be even more assured she'd have a smoother time ascending. So her husband not impregnating her is a huge problem. And she was not a rapist, so forcing Laenor to do would be rape. If you are okay with Rhaenyra or any person raping their spouse to get heirs, you are not the type of person who should be reading ASoIaF nor have any sort of relationship, frankly. You are a menace to society, and a hypocritical because how is rape better than having "bastards"?!!! And she had to choose a father that would not try to risk her one her kids' lives by trying to say he was the dad or otherwise try to gain benefits by being said father. A man who would be with her for her alone and not try to overrule or overbear her authority/position for his own gain. ...So, for duty + love + intimacy = different types of "safety", Rhaenyra chose Harwin.
Cersei chose Jaime because she was suffering from both spousal abuse and the destroyed expectations in her role for being Queen Consort. All her life, Tywin had been hyping & telling her she would be the Consort of Rhaegar specifically. Like Alicent, Cersei and every girl knew that to be the Consort of the King was usually the highest rank and means to the most wealth/prestige a woman could have. Women are human, so they also have the propensity for ambition, or they want the most "safety" and "glory". Because Robert didn't hide or even try to engage with Cersei in a really human way because of his "missed chance" with Lyanna AND Cersei had grown up with the foundation that it was her Lannister exceptionalism that made her worthy (since being a woman wasn't enough), Cersei was forever offended by Robert. Again, there was a chance for Robert to be patient and engage when he perceived her reluctance...instead her tried to foist his displeasure on her own "coldness". Saying that she "owed" him her body no matter how she felt about him. Even with that being the custom, custom shouldn't trump human dignity. Like slavery...so it's okay to own a human being because by law or by tradition, they aren't human?! Because of custom, a woman's children aren't really hers but her husband, even though she could have nearly died birthing all/any of them...let's bfr. And we know that Robert physically abuses her. It really doesn't matter when or how it got there, once you decided to lay hands on people, you have debased them and are not owed neither respect nor should be owed protection. In fact, it is this entrapment of "duty" that propels Cersei into her being even more prideful...because without that pride, what else does she have?! Unfortunately, unlike Dany, Cersei's pride relies on her nobility and viciousness to "get the job done", on her being as "masculine" as possible. She has always admired the Targs exactly for their domination & the exclusive right to practice Westerosi-considered-incest (siblings), so, through Jaime/twin incest--the person she feels she would have been if she were male--she's affirming both her autonomy AND making a claim on her worthiness AND kinda making claim on him.
Robert, by abusing her and not recognizing her as worthy enough, she has decided, doesn't get to have further domination to her through reproduction. He does not get to totally "own" her through her children. If Cersei had any kids by Robert, it's very likely she would have hated them or at least really neglected them. If she hadn't tried to abort them even late into the pregnancy and risk her own life (I'm talking purposefully falling down the stairs or getting her hands on "cheap" moontea that could have wracked her body and/or killed her). It's her last line, her means of establishing control over herself...like Daena defying Baelor.
But bc unlike Rhaenyra, Cersei was Queen Consort, was never blood related to any royal, is and always will be just the Queen Mother AND if Robert had known any of her kids weren't his...GRRM has said that Robert would likely kill them. Cersei can "get away" with her kids looking more like her when they should at least have one have dark hair (again, all 3 have her & Lannister eyes and hair..ironic how like Rhaenyra, there are 3 kids) because:
neither Robert nor Tywin know about her kids; Robert definitely would have at least gone off the handle and tried to kill her and the kids, and I'm not sure about Tywin except that he'd never let go of his hold of the throne after years of his perceived and real humiliations to get close to it
Robert Baratheon owes his final victory of the rebellion to Tywin and the strongest support for his reign to Tywin Lannister, who has worked towards getting his blood on the throne for years and unlike to let a little blonde hair stop him.
On the other hand, while Viserys I's status is definitely protecting Rhaenyra and her children, Viserys, like Tywin, is the one who got his daughter into the mess she is in in the first place through his poor planning and wanting the "easiest" solution. Cersei doesn't have any other great support other than Tywin and Robert, while Rhaenyra at least had the Velaryons and multiple lords to fight for her in the name of chosen-heir-first. If Robert were to even try to harm her kids, he'd think of Tywin first before doing anything drastic, but there's still the possibility he'd be so angry as to actually blindly attack her or her kids and Tywin can't be everywhere. That and there was no universe where Cersei could have married Jaime as Rhaenyra should have been able to with Daemon (Targs have that overall, cultural ability--even with Starks marrying their uncles to nieces twice!); but Cersei pursues a relationship with Jaime anyway...because she wants to, makes her feel more like the "perfect" being, it brings her a sense of bodily autonomy and control after her marital abuse, and it's the most convenient thing.
As I already stated, Cersei isn't actually thinking of the real politics as motivation to be with Jaime so much as the self-soothing fantasies made from her own yearning desire for power and perfection. It's not truthful to make it as if she were this mastermind or even cares to know real strategy or at least far-thinking when she has never done that except for the wildfyre...which was a disastrous and stupid plan by its execution (ahem, Aerys II). Tywin may hide that her kids aren't Robert for the sake of reputation and keep them safe like Viserys, but his feelings in doing so are not in the same realm of loving even though, kinda like how it is Viserys' fault that Rhaenyra was in the position that she was in, Tywin is at fault for Cersei's. Her being married to Robert. Cersei is a pure pawn piece to Tywin, more than her brothers, because she is a woman and he will never allow her to be his heir. At the same time, it is by Tywin's support that Robert was able to cinch his butt on the throne.
You can read more HERE, as this analysis comes from blankwhiteshield. Cersei didn't have that much access to anyone else her entire life, even as a Consort, because, once more women do not have the same mobility as men (scroll down to "Medieval/Westerosi Noble Male vs. Female Mobility") and she is neither a Tyrell nor a Martell.
C) The Velaryons, if people really want to use their race to "prove" anything
1. If you cannot read throughly, you will miss the argument.
Some people have opted to use the "why aren't Rhaenyra's sons not darker?! It's so obvious that she had bastards!" thing. This assumes that these same people want to use real-life genetics as their main crutch.
With more people showing their kids online, we ourselves are getting to witness that interracial couples often have children in various colorations, from very thin, pale-blond-light-eyed to darker-skinned, darker eyes, coilier hair.
Ryan Condal and other producers/writers of HotD made the Velaryons historically black with no hint of blue, gray, or green eyes like Milly Alcock, Emma D'arcy, and Paddy Considine. Or vice versa. (Putting purple eyes in either post or contacts for some actors who are willing could have helped here, but the point is that the Velaryons who don't have Targs for direct relatives [Rhaenys being Laenor & Laena's mother] and Targs only share the pale hair part of Valyrian appearance).
Valaena Velaryon (the 3 conquerors' mother) would then be also black/darker skinned. Alyssa Velaryon (Rhaena--rider of Dreamfyre--, Jaehaerys I, & Alysanne's mom) would also be black/mixed/have darker skin.
Therefore every Targ after the Conquerors & before Aegon V are visibly black/mixed/darker-skinned (including Daemon, Viserys, and Rhaenyra)
After Aegon V marries the white Betha Blackwood, the Targs continue to marry lighter women, and thus the Targs get lighter and lighter until we get Dany & her siblings being white-white.
If we were to actually introduce black/mixed Rhaenyra, her kids with Laenor should also have inherited the eyes/hair/etc. of Valyrians. But even if she, this should-be-mixed-Rhaenyra had just white-Harwin as her lover and father to her kids....her kids could very well turn out very similar as they do now. Ironically, despite his own intentions and words, Condal set us up with a reason to believe that Rhaenyra should be even less suspected of having bastards even with the boys' dark hair and eyes.
Again, Because she would be visibly mixed, they also should be visibly mixed. Even though they aren't Laenor's biologically.
Not only does Rhaenys canonically have dark hair in the actual book, but her cousin Borros has the Baratheon dark hair that canon!Rhaenys supposedly (if we follow true genetics) and likely could have given Laenor to pass onto his own kids. Thereby he also really missed an opportunity to show how "obvious" the greens' slander was not working outside of us looking at Alicent's frenetic movements. See how this change could have actually given a more nuanced revelation and element to the story the writers created?!
In HotD, they should have all display variances of hair texture & eye color, including Jaehaerys, Daemon, and Rhaenyra themselves. However, this change and the inconsistency it brings up are not things that I "hate" in of themselves because we do need more than just white people in our mainstream fantasy until we force people to produce actual black/African fantasies....and there are a lot of them.
What I criticize is that Ryan Condal made it very clear that he sees the race play as a means to make it that much more "obvious" that Rhaenyra's kids aren't Laenor's, which both cheapens the value of how much misogyny plays a role against Rhaenyra as well as cheapens and emphasizes the inconsistency of how the writers use the Velaryons' blackness/darkness into it just being a political tool to audiences. (Entertainment Weekly)
"Once we had that idea, it just felt like everything fell into place," Condal recalls.
And this is what this Cosmopolitan Black critic had to say, but more eloquently than me:
Nowhere in the first season does HotD mention the Blackness of its few Black characters. All we’re told is that House Velaryon has blood from Old Valyria, which means they are really close to the Targaryens and often marry each other to keep the bloodline “pure.” Nothing wrong with that, but since the Velaryons are Black, shouldn’t all Velaryons have Afrocentric features? The casting department didn’t think so, apparently. One of the main storylines in the first season is the denial that Rhaenyra Targaryen’s children are bastards even though they have white skin and loose curly black hair while their “father” is Laenor Velaryon, a white-haired Black man with dreads. The book Fire & Blood (which the show is adapted from) also follows this plot point. But the Velaryons aren’t Black in the book, meaning it’s somewhat believable or at the very least plausible that Rhaenyra’s children are Leanor’s. I know this is a fantasy show, but there’s something really cringe about (1) trying to pass three obviously white children off as Black and (2) making the one Black family on the show the center of a *checks notes* paternity scandal. Even if House of the Dragon were only following the book’s plot point—the question of the legitimacy of Rhaenyra’s children—the decision to cast House Velaryon and thus Laenor as Black means that race and racial connotations needed to be introduced as well. You shouldn’t cast a white character as a person of color and then ignore their racial identity.
There were African Christians in the medieval-e/modern pd. worlds; however, this sort of paternity check-thru-race is a post-slavery, modern element.
And while race and genetics in the ASoIaF books are strange, it is not strange enough to eschew skin coloring OR the implications of being the only house that is only/mainly black-skinned altogether and what we readers would expect from that. House Velaryon would have intermarried, for example...have they been marrying each other? siblings, first cousins, and/or second cousins--or more often with other houses? How often for each type of marriage? If the last, why do they all still retain their West Afro-leaning features 90% of the time, even by ASoIaF standards of genetics? Are the other Valyrian houses exclusively black (Celtigar)? Will Rhaenyra's master-of-coin Bartimos Celtigar also be black (from episode 10, no it doesn't look like it)? If not, then that just further shows how the Velaryon-being-black change hasn't been enough to make HotD a model standout in creating meaningful diversity in mainstream fantasy media.
Neglecting the story, the implications of introducing race even with the argument of there being African Christians in the medieval era being accepted (though when you go back, it's more of complicated than that), and thus making race more of a downplayed object instead of an identity.
2. What does this mean, then?
With HotD's changes and by the argument of "Rhaenyra's kids are obviously not black!", if they had authentically used race and skin color when they said it mattered within the show (Condal already said this!), then show!Rhaenyra, by THEIR logice, should be visibly mixed, not white
AND:
show!Rhaenyra's actually should able to pick any lover of any coloring (as long as they have a trustworthy character) bc her kids will always logically/visually "pass" as Laenor's, no matter their actual father; her boys, no matter what would likely have darker skin or be mixed with their array of coloring, because SHE would have that
Laenor, being their official dad, is already black and further showing how their paternity wouldn't be as suspect if it weren't for social manipulation
their appearance wouldn't be as controversial WITHOUT the greens sowing doubt
again, she'd have more ability to choose than Cersei, but bc Rhaenyra in HotD and F&B is still the heir to the throne instead of a regular noblewoman and goes to Dragonstone to rule it independently. Thereby meeting with more people face to face without being as restricted as she would have been as a Queen Consort.
Why have have the comment abt race and skin color at all? if it's not not actually going to matter in-world?! And if it doesn't matter, it was a tasteless, sexist and racist "joke" on Condal's part.
Without the greens, the only reason why anyone would suspect Rhaenyra's kids was bc Laenor was open-secret-gay & chose of his own volition to not be around her as often as people expect married couples to be.
Like I implied in section B), neither are in either Rhaenyra's control nor her fault. If people argue she should have forced Laenor to stay by order, I don't doubt that some of those people are the ones who would say/have said she should have forced him to have sex with her despite his lack of desire, lack of enthusiastic consent, and inability OR that she should have had a slave from any of the Valyrian Free Cities to impregnate her. All of which is rape and/or exploitation of lower-classed persons' bodies.
To the HotD writers...Give us more! Develop a stonger sense of the court's attitude of Rhaenyra and Alicent's and their respective families!!! Give us a pan or something of the courtiers having silent "fun" but doing it so as to not get either Otto's eye or move themselves apart from Alicent's favor. Something that shows the audience that Alicent is trying really hard to smear Rhaenyra out of spite, and therefore puts her in the narrative position of being wrong/villainous for her internalized misogyny through slight implied mocking. If we go through with just the *shrug* of making ASoIaF genetics "that way", still, Condal's still neglected the real implications of making the entire Velaryon house black and all other houses white/predominantly white.
Again, IF he wants to encourage the audience to rely so much on genetics to castigate Rhaenyra!!! If the audience does so without his input, then this still applies to those who would do so to make their arguments against Rhaenyra!!!.
Finally....
HotD tried to make as if they were doing something more meaningful with HotD and a project that image and for some it worked bc racist/sexist consumerism, but it still failed to recreate the meaningful drama and convey the subtle & unsubtle criticisms of many ideologies, historical actions, and social structures that the original story was going for by not thinking of the implications of having mixed/black Velaryon people. And it was probably because they focused more on diluting the sides, in what ozymalek says was made by their own misunderstanding F&B:
The Dance era in "Fire and Blood" is something that will fundamentally cause the feelings of cognitive dissonance. I think this is why people initially disliked this book when it first came out. It did not provide easy answers, it was written as a historical account, the in-universe historians were clearly biased. People, however, had trouble realizing who the historians are biased for and against. Team Green would have you think that "F&B" is biased against the Greens, because their allegiance as maesters clearly being to Hightowers notwithstanding, they could not evade simple historical facts: that most of the kingdom supported Rhaenyra, that Greens were horrendously misogynistic and that her usurpation was clearly wrong. That's why, approaching it from the "choose your favorite war criminal" point of view, it was difficult for Greens to accept that their preferred side is so cartoonishly evil - obviously bias must have been involved, even though the only pro-Black narrator of F&B is Mushroom, the rest are Greens. The maester's anti-Targaryen bias, however, manages to sneak in and mess with the reader's balance, causing said cognitive dissonance. It's hard to deal with it as a reader, let alone as a showrunner who's trying to adapt a story in which not everything is set in stone. They incorrectly assumed that, because they are constantly forced to question what is happening in the story, the bias is with the underlying idea that there was a correct side. As such, they assumed that all the inconsistencies result from maesters not choosing to view it that way. Ryan Condal repeatedly stated that he does not want watchers to pick sides, while George RR Martin embraces it and even encourages it (and I think that he himself has picked the Blacks). Such is our nature as human beings. So they decided that they have to balance the scales.
They really refused to consider & imagine how the difference in race would change the narrative of the Dance and consequently think of ways to make it still work for the story's purpose of showing how people can manipulate self-images and others' images, especially when it concerns women and women in the pursuit of access to higher powers. It refused to actually work to integrate the Blackness, fine. but then it OR the audience--who praised said move--also tried to use said Blackness to make meaning but make meaning against Rhaenyra.
So now there are critical plotholes and missed opportunities in the narrative that just make the story more boring, flatter, and deceptively simpler while still converting misogynist and racist sentiments into stereotypical narratives--thereby discouraging its audience from engaging in proper insight/observing patterns of social manipulation in the misogyny against Rhaenyra, as well as the show's own different flavors of misogyny in Alicent, Laena, Rhaenys' etc.'s re-writings.
They really want Rhaenyra's actions of sexual autonomy to be either criticized, seen as a flaw of hers, or make her agency thematically subordinate to the misogynist expectations that some may feel should guide Rhaenyra's rule/self-conduct. Therefore, it's encouraging the audience to look at Rhaenyra as a/the negative agent, to comply with the misogynist forces and their logic against her. The agent of society-destruction instead of someone trying to move through a society set up more against her than for her. To judge a female leader differently than a male one, judge her "worthiness" to rule more by her willingness to be as traditional and misogynist against herself. To be more complicit with the status quo.
When really no one should genuinely internalize the need to impress or "prove" one's worthiness to people who already believe your gender, skin, etc. justifies your exclusion from certain positions of power, rights, and privileges. That is like asking nicely or behaving like a "good girl" to heart (not just using it as covers) & expecting the same treatment men have/the same rights. This is how show!Alicent thinks and what gets her into that frantic state that makes her think less clearly than she could, adding to the anxiety and abuse she already receives from her father and Larys Strong. Unfortunately, Alicent's belief in "duty" and the absolute "sacrifice" that mainly women must make for a "orderly" aristocratic society just serves to imprison her.
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thestupidhelmet · 4 months
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Donna's Childhood and Teenhood Wounding
Donna grows up with two loving but self-involved parents. Bob has oppressive and regressive ideas about gender roles, which Donna clearly rebels against early on -- likely reflexively. Until Donna is seventeen, Midge is passive about Bob's chauvinistic attitude and treatment of her (Midge). This passivity coupled to Bob's chauvinism is Donna's first and primary model for male-female romantic relationships, the disparity in U.S. society between men and women, and a bleak vision for Donna's future since she's female.
On the show, Bob refers to Eric as "dirtying [Donna] up" because Donna and Eric have sex. He uses the word dirty in regard to Donna and other woman for enjoying and having sex.
Bob and Midge tend to neglect Donna on a regular basis. They get caught up in sexual fads, which they not only ignore Donna for but also expose Donna to inappropriately and often.
Further, Bob and Midge make Donna a witness to and arbiter of their marital problems. During season 1 and half of season 2, Donna is in a constant state of fear that her parents will divorce. They include her in their fights and use her to win those fights.
Bob writes Midge a note that calls her a bitch, one he knows Donna shouldn't see but writes in front of her anyway. Regardless that he tells Donna that this term doesn't refer to her, the fact it refers to her mother demonstrates and reinforces his lack of respect for Midge and women.
The way Donna is raised teaches her not to trust men will treat her as an equal or worthy of respect, makes her afraid of being trapped in a romantic relationship that limits her freedom and won't allow her to pursue her dreams, makes her fear that a romantic relationship can't and won't last if she's the one in it.
She's also afraid sex will ruin her relationship with Eric. She's watched her whole life how her parents' relationship to sex negatively impacts their marriage. She builds significant boundaries around and about sex in response to how her parents have none and, thus, force her to be a witness to their sex life.
Her attitude toward and choices about her relationship with Eric are consistently influenced by the state of her parents' marriage. When Bob and Midge fight, Donna pushes Eric away. After Bob and Midge renew their vows and commitment to each other, Donna feels safe enough to have sex with Eric the first time.
In reaction to her parents' neglect, she engages in self-destructive behaviors (e.g., purposely failing classes and smoking cigarettes) to get their attention. This self-destructiveness reaches its apex in season 4.
Midge leaves Bob and abandons Donna shortly after Donna and Eric break up. Bob is too overwhelmed by his own grief to be present to Donna and her grief. She essentially becomes parentless and doesn't have enough emotional support. Her lifelong fears and trauma coalesce in season four, and Donna undergoes a personality shift -- and adopts related behaviors -- to suppress her pain.
Donna's trauma is evident throughout the first half of the series. It's woven into her character through actions and dialogue. While Hyde's emotional wounds and their cause contrast are explicitly stated and explored in specific episodes, Donna's -- by contrast -- are more subtly depicted but no less influential on her. She and Hyde, in fact, bond over where their trauma overlaps.
Fleeing to California at the end of season 5 to be with her mother is necessary and healing. Unfortunately, Bob is clueless how his (in)actions and lack of emotional availability during season 4 contribute to Donna's choices. He punishes her instead when she returns home, quite harshly. He deprives her of finishing high school with her best friends, found family, and the boy she's loved since at least four-years-old.
Another trauma, but this time she has Eric to support her and allows her friends to support her, too.
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nudevastate · 9 months
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Hi, do you have any advice on practicing separatism?
sure!
1.) the very first thing you have to do is to cultivate a very strong relationship with yourself. i know that's a bit of a dumb thing to read, but it's true. as women, we have always had to play a role in a patriarchy. we are always just someone's daughter, someone's mother, someone's sister, someone's girlfriend, someone's wife, someone's concubine and so on, and never just us on our own. get to know yourself without needing the filter or having to live vicariously through your relations with other people. find yourself and find what it is that drives you. are you a creative soul? find something to create. do you have a lot of love to give? volunteer at a shelter, whether it's for battered women, the homeless, or animals. spend time in solitude and learn to listen to yourself.
2.) and then, go ahead and find your soulmates in other women. maybe that sounds overdramatic lol but definitely find your tribe with women exclusively. if there is a hobby you are into, find out if there is a club somewhere you can join where there are lots of women to get to know. make female friends exclusively. it's not to say that you should ignore men outright (might be too dangerous to do that), but you shouldn't rush to make them your friend. if anything, you should prevent making any male friends until and unless he proves himself to be trustworthy. (which may never happen, so whatever.)
3.) the obvious and the most debated portion of separatism is to, of course, abstain from dating, having relationships with, and having sex with men. i could pull up so many statistics and reports as to why being with men is horrible for women's health and livelihood, but i'm sure you can find those yourself. realize that the concept of heterosexual romance is made up in order to prop up the institution of "traditional marriage/family life" geared up by secular religious groups that are extremely misogynistic in nature. you can always take yourself out on dates; you can always go on "friend dates" with your gal pals. you can always masturbate or, if you do have same sex attraction, have sex with other women. you can always just date women. or just be single and thriving!
4.) a lot of the times, when women waste their time with men, they also end up missing out on some amazing opportunities. i know i missed out on some great milestones in my life back then because of this. now that you're single and by yourself, what do you want to do? what is it that you've always wanted to try, but didn't because a moid told you no? do you want to travel? get a tattoo? get a wild haircut? work on your body at the gym until you've got envious muscles? (men seem to hate muscles on women for some reason which is dumb.) now go ahead and DO THOSE THINGS, and realize how stupid the whole thing was when an ex-bf tried to prevent you from doing those things. it's because they make women happy. women are the most happy when they get to call the shots in their own lives. it's your turn now!
5.) find a community that accepts and even strongly encourages your separatist lifestyle. thank god for the internet. you can find likeminded women on here, on discord (there are loads of female exclusive discord groups to join out there now!), or other online spaces that you can find other women who are just like you. they will also give you tips on how to deal with emotions that comes with it, such as loneliness, and how to combat it. bonus tip: there ARE religious/spiritual groups that are female exclusive. dianic wicca is one of those, and they only let in women to join. practicing spirituality with women is so amazing and will also help you distance yourself further from men.
6.) request a woman. whether that's for your primary doctor, your gynecologist, a plumber, a driver, a teacher, an electrician, a photographer, whatever it is, try to check and see if you can request a female. if you can't, go someplace else. i understand that this is sometimes impossible in certain situations since men take up 50% of the world's population, but you have a voice and a mouth and you should use them. request a woman. hire women!
7.) not sure how old you are, but assuming you are in high school or about to graduate, see if you can go to an all women's college or university. if that's not possible, be sure to request going into classes that are run by female professors either all the time or the majority of the time. i can't tell you all the horror stories i've read and heard from female students when it comes to abusive and/or creepy male professors. be on the lookout for female professors on campus, and talk to them to help you out with your class schedules each semester. you deserve to be in a female only space.
8.) this is a hard one for me, but try to phase out your media consumption that was created by men. start watching movies and tv shows that are made from female directors. read books by female writers (you can start small with reading fanfics made by women lol and then go into actual books). buy products that was made by women, for women, and stop putting your money into corporations that are run by men who don't care about you. listen to music that was made by women. consume and purchase artwork made by women instead of men. watch videos made by women about topics you are passionate about.. these will normalize being in a world filled with female voices that may be similar or different than you. realize you don't have to keep listening to men if you don't want to.
9.) this one is also a little hard because of logistics, but try to see if you can work for a women-based company for employment. there may be resources out there especially for women who are in STEM and looking for work, and they can point to the appropriate companies that are either run by women, or are mostly female. it feels good to work in a place that has a lot of women in it rather than with a lot of men. i understand this might be difficult depending on the industry you are in, but try to make the most of it. if you are stuck in a career that has a lot of men in it, continue to practice separatism by keeping a strong emotional and mental distance from male colleagues, and physical if you can help it. (this is why remote work is amazing for women tbh!)
10.) this is more like a final boss thing lmao but if you can, if you have the means to do so, and if it is at all possible.. see if you can find an all female commune to visit at least once, and see for yourself how healing and amazing it is to live amongst women in everyday life. this is something i want to do in the long term, but i need to do some things in my life first before i can do so. but i would love to continue with and end my life in an all female commune, and die alongside with women, rather with a man.
and there you have it. there might be more, and maybe some others might chime in with their own tips, but these will help immensely. realize that perfection is not necessary, and you will stumble a few times before you can become 100% separatist, but it is possible so don't worry and take your time!
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