#rather than like 'OH SHIT CAN WE HAVE THIS COOL DUDE ALSO'
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UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.
1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.
2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.
So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.
Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.
He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.
Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.
Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.
I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.
He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.
I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.
OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.
Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world
PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox
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KS Fill: Gabe/Stephen; not on the list
For the prompt: I would say Gabe and Stephen’s wedding because I want that more than anything in the world, but I suspect that’s coming without my prompt? But if it’s not…
It would come either way, probably, but this started the ball rolling.
More Gabe and Stephen, more lists. No actual wedding, but we get pretty damn adjacent.
Gabe knew the list would backfire the moment Stephen started making it. He even told Stephen as much, but Stephen just shrugged a shoulder and kept working on it. He got into it as it grew too, enjoying it so much that Gabe told himself he was probably worrying about nothing.
And maybe the list wouldn’t have been a problem if the only person he’d told about it was Gabe. Probably would have been fine even if knowledge of it extended to the Marksons and Petersens, which happened sooner rather than later.
But telling Gabe’s teammates — that was a mistake.
“A what list?” Jared asks when Stephen first mentions it.
“An anti-wedding list,” Stephen says.
Bryce sits up. “You guys aren’t getting married?”
From this angle, Gabe can’t see how withering the look Stephen gives Bryce is, but the kick Jared aims at his ankle is probably related.
“Obviously we’re getting married,” Stephen says, like he wasn’t panicking for a good few days after they got engaged, and only the potential wrath of Miriam Markson kept him from fleeing on the next flight out of Vancouver. “It’s a list of shit we don’t want at our wedding.”
“Um,” Bryce says.
“You know,” Stephen says. “The wedding traditions we’re vetoing.”
“We is such a strong word,” Gabe says.
“Unanimous approval or none at all, Gabriel,” Stephen says. "A veto only needs one."
He's right. And Gabe guesses he would know, consdiering he's the one vetoing everything.
“So wait, what exactly are you vetoing?” Jared says.
“Nobody’s wearing white,” Stephen says, starting to tick items off on his fingers. “I mean, white dress shirts are fine, obviously, but nobody’s a virgin here, we’re not doing any all in white shit. No flower girls or ring bearers. No little groom cake toppers. Fuck knows there aren’t going to be any garters involved. I don’t remember the rest off the top of my head, but I have it all written down."
“I like the little grooms,” Bryce says, sounding hurt. Gabe hasn’t seen any pictures from Bryce and Jared’s wedding, since it was very much on the down-low — and he truly wishes he could see how those two managed to put together a wedding on the sly when they couldn't even sit across from each other without Gabe figuring out they were married — but he bets there were little grooms on top of their cake. He also bets Bryce still has those little dudes hanging around somewhere.
“Can I see the list?” Jared asks. “I’m kind of curious how many our wedding had.”
“Sure,” Stephen says, with a hand wave. “I’ll email it to you when I’m finished. Have a few more items to add first.”
“Cool,” Jared says.
After Bryce and Jared leave, Gabe mentions it might not be a good idea to send Jared the list, but Stephen just scoffs.
“What’s he going to do?” Stephen says. “Wear white to my wedding? Put little grooms on his piece of cake? He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s not going to anything that actually fucks with the day, he’s not Dmitry.”
“Our wedding,” Gabe says.
“Oh come on, you already know what’s mine is yours,” Stephen says.
“You stabbed me with a chopstick over the last soup dumpling last night,” Gabe says.
“Stop saying I stabbed you,” Stephen says. “I didn’t even break the skin.”
“It hurt,” Gabe says, and Stephen takes his hand, planting an officious kiss on the back of it.
“Better?” Stephen asks.
“It was the other hand,” Gabe says, smiling when Stephen sighs dramatically before kissing it too.
“You’re really going to give Math that list?” Gabe says. “Blind trust isn’t usually your thing.”
“Oh, I’m sure it’ll lead to something hideous,” Stephen says. “But think of it this way: your idiot teammates are going to do something, so I may as well give them some parameters.”
“Huh,” Gabe says. “Good point.”
“I’m not exactly new to this, you know,” Stephen says.
“No, I know,” Gabe says.
At least whatever it is that’s coming, it won’t come out of the blue.
~
Gabe did not foresee this. Sure, when he gave Stevie and Dima and Bullet bachelor party planning rights he anticipated some variety of disaster, but he underestimated them, he thinks. Or overestimated them. There was some mis-estimation occurring.
He looks around. What initially looked like chaos seems oddly recognisable. Almost familiar.
It’s sort of wedding themed, which makes sense, considering the occasion, but everything’s slightly off, and not just because they’re in a venue more suited to clubbing than matrimony.
His eyes land on the big cake at the centre of everything. It looks more like the kind Gabe saw at Cup celebrations than a wedding one, decorated to look like a rink, with two little figures at centre ice. He’s too far to see the details, but he’s pretty sure they’re hockey figurines rather than grooms, and someone has decided to use the manipulable joints for, well, evil probably isn’t the right word, but maybe immaturity — Gabe’s pretty sure one of them is straddling the other. He guesses he should just be grateful no mounting is taking place, considering Dima’s probably the responsible party.
There are so many elements, and they don’t seem to fit together at all — elegant baskets of flowers that look almost painstakingly put together, surrounded by a scatter of rainbow confetti that feels like it's moonlighting from a completely different event. Some kind of crooner — Bublé? — playing, also from a completely different event. None of it seems to fit Gabe's picture of a bachelor party planned and attended by hockey players, even if the wives and girlfriends present also got involved in the planning.
It’s the guests themselves that help Gabe put it together. There was clearly a dress code, one that only Gabe and Stephen weren’t informed about, everyone all in white, neon bright under the black light. Like an item of a list come to life. Like one of many items of a list come to life.
He can see Stephen put it together a mere moment after he does, his eyes narrowing, mouth going flat. Playing at unimpressed for the — many — eyes currently on them, avidly waiting for a reaction.
“I’m going to fucking kill Jared,” Stephen says, and Gabe decides not to tell him just how proud he sounds.
“I wonder which one of the Canucks is wearing the garter,” Gabe says, and grins when Stephen forgets his audience and his composure for a moment, throwing his head back with a laugh.
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Mercury in da HoUSe (s)
mercury and why you think your smart -
you only think your smart, you don't even know if you are because you can't think any other way. I dont care if people tell you your smart, they don't even know if they are smart because they have the same dilemma as you.......
but if you think your dumb your probs right....
okay enough chit chat we gotta do some astrollogy >>
Mercury in the first - These guys talk the talk, hella good at talking, talk too much, but at least they know how to talk. but it gives everyone in the rooom a headache. also there voices go a million directions... they like to put on voices. actually i hate your voice. its too earpiercing its like your looking at there voice even if you look away. how are you able to make me look at yo voice, its meant to be auditory but i can fucking see it STFUUUU
Mercury in the second - I like money but not as much as this guy. this guy will think of every scam, every business every investment possible just to prove his worth (typically with money) as kids they are hustlers with money, everyone knows they gonna make coin, but typically as they get older, money don't mean shit to them and they start investing into something substantial and if they dont grow outta this mindset, they become shells of themselves like bill gates or the amazon guy.
mercury in the third - okay these guys are actually smart, but its almost hard to tell. because there intelljgence isn't attached to anything beside intelligence itself. so its hard to notice, but they are very smart people. quick learners but i notice not quick thinkers, or at least they don't voice it much. which i guess makes them smart because they ploying liek dat
mercury in the fourth - subtle intelligence, almost manipulative intelligence, they are the types to make you make a point jsut so they can point out the flaws in your point rather than make a argument themselves.... then make an argument once yours has been smashed to pieces. assholes honestly... but i rate it its just smart tactics but make em talk first and they speechless lmao
mercury in the fifth - funny yes your funny, yes i see what you did there, oh yes this next joke is also funny because it ties in with your last joke.. did i mention your funnY? oh im not that funny, well im sorry i can't do it like you becayse yourr liek for real funny. okay can someone else speak now, this guys voice wasn't annoying but now it is. fr comedians but every comedian over do it, and so do they
mercury in the sixth - annoying intelligence, always pointing out the flaws in whatever the fuck you just said. like dude im trying my best to think, to then speak it, and to respect you as a person. and your lookjing for flaws, in my speech? oh you can't help it? well i can't help but not wanna talk to you. annoyingly nitpicky with what i say you say she say, why so serious? oh your too smart? thats what every dumbass has ever said to me stfu.
mercury in the seventh - always on your back, but can you get off my back, im still working on my argument i dont need you to suck me off about it jeezes. id rather you criticize me honestly. oh now your critical of me. well why can't you just think for yourself. oh you don't know how to. you only don't know how to because you just wanna learn more and more and more and more and more. and now you dont know how to think for yourself. congrats you played yoself
mercury in the eighth - so mysterious wow so profound, i never saw it that way. no you just were thinking of something cool to say this whole time and you jsut thought of it. your only quiet so you dont look like a fool. insecure bitch ass. oh but now you just wanna insult me yeah thats because i called you out. honestly these guys are just looking for a deep chat, and its only deep because they were digging for so long.
mercury in the ninth - these guys know way too much bullshit. like they read a lot and just spit random facts and its hard to talk to them without feeling patronized. like yeah we get it, you read a lot. most peole don't because we like to be a human, not live in a book. go outside its nice. oh thats where you get your information > outside, books, the world is your dictionary - god you really are annoying. oh you knew that already. fuck off man.
mercury in the tenth - shrewd; always thinking and saying the best possible thing to say for each scenario, and its typically just sayings they read in hustler books, or what they dad said once. yeah your street smart, but no one else advertises it as much as you, which means you don't understand the streets as well as you think. yep thats right re-strategise; they just wanna own the streets i swear. and no one tries as hard as them. and thats saying something
mercury in the eleventh - stop protesting you mong, you really think convincing us the realities of the world, will change the world? oh itll start the butterfly effect, okay true go on, tell us how eating veggies gonna stop the meat industry. oh you were just saying this crap for bants. yep that was annoying. oh now you wanna talk about how attitudes has shaped the world, dude why you always trying to integrate everysingle philsophy of the world into one conversation. you do realise its all bullshit? but everyone likes em because they invite everyone in on the conversation... hey someone gota do it
Mercury in the twelfth - these guys are the worst i swear, cant be more manipulative than these lot, they will act innocent, but come at you aggressivly, and itll just confuse ya. youll think they just dumb and naive but they klnow damn well what da hell they doing. play yo game with someone else... oh you don't like to play with them because they fall for your shit, yep so you only like people who set you straight ehhhh you should just come at me straight or ill set you straight. oh you just struggle with convos well it shows.
#astro community#mercury aspects#house placements#astrology observations#astrology notes#astrology blog#astrology#astrology houses#mercury astrology
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~types of hugs they would give~
was daydreaming about ranpo and then my brain jumped to them giving hugs??? idk how that works but HERE WE ARE!!!
charas: dazai, chuuya, sigma, ranpo, and poe
genre: FLUFF >:))); a bit of flirting in dazai's because, well, dazai; can be seen as romantic or platonic other than that!!!; extremely wholesome shit idk :O; some hurt-comfort, but very mild!!
LETS COMMENCE ＼(°o°)／
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DAZAI
-over dramatic mf FRRRR
-hugs with him arent really emotional or srs or anything like that, HE KINDA JUST CLINGS TO YOU OUTTA NOWHERE NGL-
-like he'll be running away from kunikida and cling to you from behind to use you as a sheild
-awoop, jumpscare!!
-would probably make a comment about ur body or something, and how your just, "so charming" and he "jUsT cAnt KeEp hIs hAnDs oFf yOu!1!" (you can admit youre scared of kunikida beating the shit out of you its ok)
-tbh if you were crying or something like that, i feel like you would have to ask him to hug you, rather then him automatically doing so. (as we can see with atsushi 🥶)
-i feel like his hugs would be good enough for the circumstance, but he's kinda cold ngl (unless you like that!!)
-pretty much just uses u as a sheild tho 😭
CHUUYA
-i know that ive always gotta make him floating someone or something..... BUT HIS ABILITY IS SO COOL CMON
-if you asked him (and yall were close) he may float you
-WOULD BE HELLA EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT (DONT LET DAZAI SEE YALL, YOU'LL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT)
-yall have really gotta have a really good amount of trust for him to hug you or just be physically affectionate in general!!!
-would grumble about it and pretend he totally didn't wanna hug you too
-would give pretty good hugs ngl
-IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY IF YOU WERE TALLER THEN HIM THO
-if yall are around the same height or ur shorter then him, they're pretty comforting
-BUT IF YOURE TALLER THEN HIM YOU HAVE MAKING FUN OF HIM RIGHTS, AND ITS KINDA HARD NOT TO MAKE FUN OF HIM WHEN HE CAN BARELY HUG YOU NORMALLY
-if you were crying or having a bad moment, he probably wouldn't hug you that fast though, but if you're ranting to him about how horrible it is, he might just hug you out of nowhere cuz he doesn't know what to say.
-if youre trustworthy to him, his hugs are very nice, he would prob be neutral temp or slightly warm ngl
-UGH CHUUYA HUG MEEEE TOOOOO ಥ‿ಥ
RANPO
-THE ALMIGHTY INSPIRORER OF THIS (is that how you spell that ;-;??)
-WOULD GIVE SUCH GOOD HUGS OMG
-all you gotta do is ask
-unless hes busy being possessive of his snacks, he might think you're tryna sneak in and take a bite when he's distracted (눈‸눈)
-but when hes not eating (which is pretty rare), just ask him and he will
-might complain about being lazy a bit, but in the end, he will always hug you if you insist!! <33
-if you were crying or sad about smth, he would either literally fucking bearhug yo ass and comfort you or he would give you space to process your emotions, there is no in between.
-HES LIKE SO WARM BUT NOT THE CLAMY AND SWEATY WARM JUST LIKE THE REALLY NICE WARM.
-he also smells like sweets which is a more comforting and homey bonus!!!
-VERY AMAZING HUGS WOULD RECOMMEND 10/10!!!
SIGMA
-THEY DID MY DUDE SO BAD IN THE ANIME IM SORRY SIGMA YOU DESERVED BETTER THAN THIS MANGA SIGMA SUPREMACY
-but anyways
-ngl he would be kind of awkward sometimes but YOU KNOW HE HAS THE BEST INTENTIONS!!!
-SIGMA IS A VERY GOOD COMFORTER TO HAVE!!
-yknow how he memorizes everyones problems at the casino??
-yeah he also memorized yours, so he knows RIGHT AWAY when something is off or you need a hug!!
-he is very quick to hug you, not only to comfort you, but he also finds it comforting ⊂((・▽・))⊃
-will also leap on you out of joy (is extremely embarrassed after)
-overall, very wholesome, has the best intentions (i swear i forget he's apart of a criminal organization sm)
POE
-OH BOY
-would be so flustered if you asked him
-seems like he would WANT to ask you, but is too embarrassed and shy to ಥ‿ಥ
-PLEASE ASK HIM HE IS INTERNALLY BEGGING, AND HE NEEDS ONE (honestly everyone in bsd needs one)
-would so awkward at first because he doesn't wanna make uncomfortable in any way so he's like barely hugging you
-if he eases into it tho, he would actually be a pretty nice hugger
-just PLEASE ASK HIM FIRST, HE WILL ALWAYS ACCEPT
-if you were upset or sad about something, i honestly feel like he would just give you space to sort yourself, i feel like he would want the same space when he's upset.
-but if you ask him HE WILL VERY GLADLY HUG YOU SINCE HE HATES SEEING YOU SAD
-very nice hugs once you get past the awkward stage!!! just takes practice tho <33
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HOW DO I WRITE THE MOST WHOLESOME THINGS WHILE LISTENING TO THE MOST EDGY SONGS PLEASE HELp
i was also getting distracted by my music and this was supposed to be posted yesterday but whatever!! that's how it be
ANYWAYS, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED, PLEASE ONCE AGAIN SEND ME REQS!! THANKS FOR READING ( ◜‿◝ )♡
#dazai x reader#ranpo x reader#bsd x reader#poe x reader#poe x reader bsd#chuuya x reader#platonic#romantic#cant pick one#sigma x reader#sigma deserved better :((#bsd#fluff#justiceforjared
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would you be ok elaborating on the hob/death post? I already adore Hob and death friendship arcs and Hob/death as a concept and I would LOVE to hear more <3
*cracks knuckles* so--
there are actually two separate AUs. the canonverse one, and the human AU one.
i pitched the canonverse one to @magnusbae thus:
extremely funny au where hob and death have been casually hooking up since 1389 and dream finally confesses his feelings in like 2050 and hob's like ah. should i stop hooking up with your sister then? and dream's like should you stop doing WHAT?
basically. in the six billion years it takes dream to get his shit together and admit to his own feelings for hob, hob and death have just been having loads of no-strings-attached sexy fun in the background (death: you snooze, you lose, dream! *sticks tongue out*)
dream is very perturbed by this, he's like hello that's MY toy?? give it BACK???? I HAD IT FIRST!!!!!!!!!
(we don't headcanon hob and death actually dating, by the way. they're just pals who hook up sometimes. they're very chill about it. dream is the only one who's not chill about it because he wants All Of Hob's Attention All The Time NOW)
tldr:
The human AU version:
Hob and Death are roommates/friends/fuckbuddies who have this lowkey open relationship thing going on. they're having a great time in their casual but well-communicated healthy relationship.
enter Dream, least well-adjusted person on the planet, also Death's younger brother, who's staying with her for a while. and as soon as Dream arrives Death has to watch her formerly reasonable friend Hob disintegrate into a haze of utter Simp Behavior and insanity, and she's like oh boy. this is gonna get interesting.
meanwhile Dream is like handsome... guy... being nice... to me... 😳 *falling down the stairs*
Hob is into him so fast it's embarrassing and eventually Death yanks him aside and just gives him a look. And so like the mature adults they are they do talk about it and Death is like, dude, we aren't dating, you can do whatever you want. Besides, I'd rather have my brother be with someone I actually know and like rather than his other disastrous relationships (though Death is swiftly learning that Hob is much more unhinged than she'd previously thought. Dream brings all of it out in him). So Hob's like cool I'll flirt with your brother
NO ONE TELLS DREAM ABOUT IT
Dream is under the impression that Hob and Death are actually dating. So the more Hob flirts with him the more Dream is like 👀🤔 and he's kind of in love with Hob because ohh Hob is so kind and handsome and he listens to everything Dream says and he's so charming... but he also kind of hates Hob because how dare he cheat on Death and how dare he make Dream want him like that?
Death: so are you and Hob getting along well?
Dream: no. I hope Hob falls off a cliff and dies.
Death:.... alright thanks for the input
But Dream does just keep indulging his worse impulses and one day he just finds himself sitting in Hob's lap on the couch in Death's apartment while Hob listens to him talk and he's just like: oh my god I'm a homewrecker
Dream, later: Sister. Your shitty boyfriend is cheating on you
Death: ....did it actually take Hob this long to ask you out? we talked about it ages ago
Dream: ...
TLDR:
#hope you've enjoyed XD#deathling#hehe#dreamling#hob/death fuckbuddies au#ask#historyandqueershenanigans#magnusbae
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Rise and Shine
You and Eddie have been dating for a while now, moved in to your own place, really settled in. You prefer to wear as little clothing as possible, especially in these warmer months, but that might not always be the best idea.
Request fill for Anon, hope you like it.
Minors DNI
Contains: Slight Dom!Eddie/Sub!Reader, Slight Rockstar!Eddie/Reader, Petnames (Babe, Sweetheart), Finger Sucking, Unprotected Sex, Public Sex, Degradation/Name-calling (Slut)
With summer creeping in and the nights getting warmer you had begun to forgo even more of your clothing than usual, not that Eddie had any complaints about it, particularly when it led to most mornings starting with soft, sleepy sex before breakfast.
The freedom of living in your own apartment was a godsend, not that you didn’t like Eddie’s uncle Wayne, but it was beginning to get cramped in that trailer of theirs. Living there also meant donning more clothing than you’d like for the sake of modesty, but all that was a thing of the past.
This morning in particular you had awoken, hands reaching out in search of your boyfriend, but you were met with the empty expanse of cool sheets instead. Groaning and rising bleary-eyed you only just register the faint sounds of a guitar from the living room. Your back pops as you stretch your arms out overhead and make your way to the bedroom door in nothing but your bra and panties.
Trudging past the living room into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from your eyes you mumble, “G’mornin Eds.”
The guitar stops suddenly with an unexpected twang of the strings as you’re filling the kettle.
“Uhhh… babe…” Eddie gasps.
You reply without turning, “Yeah? Want a coffee?”
“No… babe.” He persists, sounding slightly panicked
You continue reaching for your mug, the cannister of coffee, going through the motions, “What’s up?”
“Y/N turn around.” He hisses. You do and spot the rest of his band all sitting around the coffee table.
“Oh fuck…” You scramble to duck behind the counter as they chuckle at you, “… uhhhh good morning, guys.” You call out with a wince.
“Oh no, it is a great morning.” Gareth replies cheekily, only to be met with Eddie’s ringed hand clapping him across the back of the head.
“Oww. Hey, geez watch the hardware, Munson.”
“Watch what you say to my girlfriend, Emerson.” He retorts.
“What? All I said was it’s a great morning.” He feigns innocence.
Eddie sends a glare his way in response.
Peering over the counter you see Eddie shrugging off his shirt, balling it up and tossing it over to you.
“Thank you.” You shout out as you slip his shirt over your head before reappearing.
“So, uh… umm sorry for… interrupting. Has Eddie offered you guys anything to eat or drink?” You try to move past the incident without comment.
“No, he hasn’t. Such terrible host that boyfriend of yours.” Jeff answers for the group as they shake their heads.
“I can make breakfast for all of us if you’re hungry, I can do pancakes, or eggs and bacon or French toast-”
Gareth cuts you off, “I think we all know what Eddie would rather be eating.”
“Jesus Christ dude shut up!” He gives him a shove.
In hopes of dispelling the tension, you try a different topic, “So, uh what brings you fine gentlemen ‘round this time of the morning?”
“Didn’t Eddie tell you?” Clarke speaks up for the first time.
“Shit, no I forgot.” Eddie gasps.
“Yeah, clearly…” You gesture down to your torso.
“Sorry babe.” He replies sheepishly, “Corroded Coffin booked a new gig. We wanted to go over some of our stuff, revise the set list, practice a bit you know.”
“Oh my god babe, that’s amazing!” You move to go to him but falter after the first step, “Pants… I need pants. One sec.”
You scurry back to the bedroom and pull on your own clothes, returning carrying Eddie’s shirt loosely in your hand. You pass it back to him and he pulls it on over his head. You lay a kiss on the crown of his head as his shirt settles over him and plop down on the couch beside him.
“I am so proud of you,” you beam at him before turning to the rest of the guys, “of all of you!”
They mutter a bashful chorus of thanks in response.
“Really though, are you guys hungry or thirsty or anything? ‘Cause I’m making coffee and pancakes for me.” You ask before rising from the couch.
They all mumble various words of assent and you get to work as they return to their earlier discussions and practice.
You lay out everything on the dining table before calling them all over. They tuck in eagerly and you begin, “So, tell me more about this gig, guys.”
“Well, it’s at The Patio, we may be able to get a standing gig if this one goes well.” Eddie answers piling pancakes onto his plate.
“I’m sure it’ll be great. You guys get the setlist figured out?”
“Yep, think we got it all sorted, right?” He looks to the guys and they agree.
“Yep, think we’re good, man” Gareth supplies.
“You want some cream with that babe? We all know how much you love your… cream.” You tease with a smirk, offering Eddie the canister of whipped cream.
Gareth snorts as Eddie reaches out for it, “What?” he asks puzzled.
Jeff tries to hide his smirk behind his coffee as Clarke chuckles, “Cream.”
Eddie looks over at you noticing your smirk, “… oh, not you too babe. They got you teasing me now too? You seemed to quite enjoy my fondness for cream just a couple of nights ago.”
“Oh, I’m not complaining babe, I love how much you love… cream.”
“Shut up…”
“Awww, come on Eds don’t pout. So, when’s the show? Am I invited?” You poke his arm playfully.
“Not if you keep bullying me.” He stabs at his pancakes.
“Oh, don’t listen to ‘im y/n, of course you’re invited.” Jeff adds.
“It’s this Wednesday at seven.” Gareth mumbles swallowing his mouthful of food.
“I will be there.”
Wednesday comes around quickly and you find yourself at The Patio in the perfect spot right by the stage watching Eddie and the guys introduce themselves.
The crowd gives an encouraging little cheer as they begin, you cheer Eddie’s name and he gives you a little grin.
You could watch him performing on a stage like this for the rest of your life. He’s always had a flare for the dramatic, but this is where he truly comes to life, losing himself to the music. His eyes always search out for yours in the crowd and when they meet it’s like electricity surging through you.
The way he looks right now sets your heart racing, his clothing clinging to his sweaty body, hair plastered to his forehead and the back of his neck, eyes sparkling, grinning madly, fingers dancing along the fretboard.
And fuck are you wet, he has you dripping every time he takes the stage and by now, he fucking knows it too. All the times he had you bent over a bathroom sink, in the back of his van, once even over the hood of someone else’s car and all right after a Corroded Coffin performance.
When they all stumble off stage Eddie beelines towards you, sweeping you up in a heated embrace, kissing you sloppily. He pulls back breathlessly, “How’d we do, babe?”
“Amazing as always, come on let’s get some drinks.” You tug on his arm leading him over to the bar.
The two of you find yourselves a little booth, drinks in hand and you plop down beside him. The rest of the band join shortly after with their own drinks and you congratulate them on a wonderful performance.
They’re all chatting, but you can’t focus on what they’re saying, because Eddie’s hand has slipped under the table and is creeping up your thigh. When he reaches the hem of your dress, he pushes it aside and continues until he meets the sodden lace of your panties.
He teases you over them with a little smirk never breaking the flow of conversation. You try your best to remain straight-faced but when he pulls your panties to the side and slips his fingers between your folds you let out a little gasp.
Jeff looks over at you, “You ok, y/n? You’re looking a little sweaty, too warm in here for you?”
You grit your teeth and barely manage an answer, “Yeah, something like that.”
“Why don’t you step out for some fresh air?” He suggests.
“Hmm… oh, yeah that’s a good idea. Eddie, you wanna come with me?” You hiss.
“As the lady wishes.” He replies smugly before ever so slowly removing his hand from your panties.
You stand on shaky legs, assuring them, “Be back in a minute guys.”
Eddie slides out of his seat to stand beside you, holding out his hand for you to take… the same hand he just had rubbing at your cunt, still slick with your juices.
You take his offered hand, face heating even more so, how that was even possible you didn’t know.
He leads you outside down an alley by the bar, you hiss at him “You are an absolute menace, Munson.”
He spins around pushing you against the brick wall, leaning in close, his hand moving to cup the back of your head lest you bump it on the wall, “Oh, am I now little Miss ‘You Want Cream With That’?”
His other hand slips back under your dress as he teases, “See, I don’t think your dripping, little pussy agrees with you. Think she wants my ‘cream’ too. Just look at how you’ve drenched your panties.”
His fingers return to your slick folds and he swirls your wetness around your clit, you whimper in response, “Please Eddie… need more.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought, sweetheart. What do you want first… my fingers or my dick?”
“Can… can I have both?” You pant desperately.
“Greedy… you want both? Tell me, sweetheart… how d’ya want it?”
“Wan’ your dick inside me and I wanna suck on your fingers… please.”
“Alrigh’, since you asked so nice an’ all. Can you lift up your dress for me?”
You do as he asks, ruching up the fabric of your dress in both hands, holding it above your hips. Hand dropping from behind your head, he unbuckles his belt and pulls down his jeans and boxers ‘til they sit pressed just beneath his balls, heavy with cum.
His weepy, ruddy cock stands proudly, jutting out from his thatch of curls and he rubs a hand along its length spreading his precum. He tugs your panties down to your knees and guides his cock between your folds, running the tip up and down through your arousal.
He eases in inch by inch and when he’s fully seated inside you, his eyes meet your own and he’s darting in for a searing kiss, swallowing up all the little noises you make. He pulls away panting, “You ready for my fingers now too?”
You nod, humming in response.
His hand comes up to your lips, wet with both your slick and his precum as he begins thrusting shallowly. Your tongue drops out laving over his digits before slowly sinking down over his pointer finger, moaning around it pathetically, eyes fluttering shut.
His other hand returns to your head, tugging on your hair lightly. You’re whining and drooling all over his fingers as he adds another, his hips increasing their pace, slamming into you with abandon.
“You like that huh, dirty little slut you are… so fucking wet, just soaking my cock and balls…”
You clamp down around him arousal flooding through you as he continues, “Yeah, you do… you know anyone could walk down here and see us, what would they think of you, slobbering on my fingers, getting split open by my cock against a brick wall…”
His hand drops from your head to flick at your swollen clit and it sends you into orbit, his fingers muffling your cries as your walls flutter around his cock, hips rising to meet his erratically.
His hips stutter, losing their rhythm as he unloads with a cry of his own, coating your slick channel with his seed. He slips out of you, both fingers and cock, leaving you a quivering mess, he pulls your panties back into place giving your thigh a quick squeeze along the way.
You let your crinkled dress fall back into place as he brushes your hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek and leaning in for a gentle kiss.
Pulling away he teases breathily, “So, how’d you like your ‘cream’?”
“Oh, it was quite good actually. You know when it comes to ‘cream’, I am especially fond of creampies.” You tease back.
“Who’s the fucking menace now, huh?” He laughs.
“Should we… should we head back in?” You swipe a hand over your chin, clearing off the drool.
He nods rightening his own clothing, tucking himself away, before leading you back in arm in arm.
#eddie munson fic#eddie munson smut#eddie x reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie x y/n#dom!eddie x sub!reader#rockstar!eddie x reader#rockstar!eddie#anon request#request fill#request
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warnings: None, really. Well, maybe my bad sense of humour.
pairing: modern(ish)!Sihtric x you (f)
summary: Sihtric ends up in 2023, and he's blaming you for it.
word count: 2k
Note: I am not sure if anyone will enjoy this, but if you do, make sure to let me know and I could continue the story if there is interest!
part 1. [part 2]
Boy, have you lost your mind?
You had just wrapped up your ritual and were packing all your belongings. You loved being in the woods, just before sunrise, to clear your mind and set intentions for the day. You carefully packed your candles, your grimoire and your black obsidian rune stones. You have asked your spirit guides for a sign, anything, that would reassure you that your life would get back on track again. You were stuck in a rut and your spirituality was really all that kept you going.
Just as you got up and walked away you heard someone approach, panting heavily, and you froze to the sound of it. It was still rather dark, the sun was about to rise, and you always knew that being a woman alone in the woods could be risky. It might be 2023, but some people still behaved as if it were 828. You listened to the footsteps approach until you saw a figure walking your way. You didn't dare speak and you had already grabbed your keys and pushed them in between your fingers in case you had to defend yourself.
'Oh thank the gods. Can you tell me where I am?' the voice said, out of breath and got closer as it spoke. The first rays of sunlight crept through the trees and you saw a young and quite handsome man approaching you. His hair was dark, short and braided, which you thought was kinda cool, it reminded you of that show on tv you never finished. Something with Vikings. You saw his clothes were dark, almost leather looking, to which you frowned. And as he got closer you saw he had an axe attached to his belt, and you stepped back quickly.
'Don't come any closer!' you yelled, 'I… I have a weapon!'
The man stopped a few paces away from you with a puzzled look, and threw his hands up to show you he wasn't going to harm you.
'Woman, I also have a weapon, but I wish you no harm,' he said firmly, catching his breath, 'just tell me where I am.'
'Woman?' you shrugged, 'I beg your pardon?'
'Lady, tell me where I am!'
'Lady? You always approach women like this?'' you snapped.
'What?' he asked, confused.
'What do you want?'
'I need you to tell me where I am!' he snapped back at you.
'Do you not have a phone? Google maps?'
'What?' he asked, even more confused than before.
'Oh, for fuck sakes,' you sighed, 'this is Galloway Forest.'
He looked at you and then around him, as if he had no idea what you just said.
'How far from Winchester are we?' he asked.
'What? Winchester? The place in England?' you asked.
'How far?' he demanded.
You sighed irritatedly, 'hold on.' And you reached for your phone in your pocket, and the man in front of you suddenly reached for his axe.
'Wow! Dude! What are you doing!?' you yelled.
'What are you doing, lady?' he hissed.
'I am grabbing my phone!'
'What kind of a weapon is a phone? I have not heard of such things!'
You looked at him in pure disbelief.
'Boy, have you lost your mind?' you asked. You looked him up and down, took a breath and rolled your eyes. 'Oh, I get it. Is this some cosplay thing? I mean, it looks really good, but I think you're way too into it.'
'Lady, I do not know what you speak of.'
'Then why are you dressed like that?'
'Like what?'
'Like that,' you gestured at him, 'like some kind of viking?'
'I am no viking just because I am a Dane!'
'Oh, wait, so you're from Denmark?'
'Where?'
'What do you mean where?'
You both just stared at each other, completely lost and both startled. The sun was creeping higher and started to show more of you and the surroundings.
'Okay, look, I'm sorry. I think we started off wrong, but you scared the shit out of me. Can we just start over?' you asked.
He looked at you confused, but he nodded in agreement.
'Okay, what is your name?'
'My name is Sihtric, lady.'
'Okay, Sihtric, hi. My name is (Y/N).'
You held out your hand to him, to which he looked confused. He gave you a nod and a slight smile, but he still looked cautious and he never shook your hand.
'Okay, well, rude,' you muttered under your breath. 'So, you don't seem to know where you are,' you said, 'do you remember how you got here?'
Sihtric looked around and fell into his thoughts.
'I do not,' he said quietly after a while.
'What is the last thing you do remember?'
'I was with Uhtred and Finan. We had just visited a sorcerer. I felt tired and we decided to set up camp. I must have fallen asleep.'
'A sorcerer?' you asked, 'you mean like a witch or occultist?'
'What do you know of witches?' he quickly said.
'No, I mean, I am into that stuff. Mainly occultism,' you smiled and you opened your bag. You took out your grimoire and showed it to him. His eyes scanned the cover of your book, which was decorated with Norse symbols and a pentacle. Sihtric quickly took a step back when he saw the pentacle, not understanding its meaning.
'Are you a sorceress?' he asked, slightly suspicious.
'I wouldn't call it that, no,' you chuckled, and accidentally dropped your bag as you tried to put the grimoire back, allowing all your items to fall out. Sihtric watched the candles roll to his feet along with some runes.
'You are a sorceress!' he said, and he quickly jumped back, 'did you summon me here?' he asked, and his tone was angry and frightened.
'What on earth are you talking about? Something is really wrong with you.'
'You have to bring me back! Have you cursed me? Why?!'
'Excuse me?'
'How did you bring me here, lady? What did you do?'
'Look,' you said as you grabbed the last candle, 'I am done playing this game. I'm sure you can find your own way home. I am not dealing with this shit today. Nope.' And you turned to walk away.
'No!' Sihtric said, and you heard a sudden desperation in his voice.
'What do you want from me?' you nearly begged as you turned back to him.
'I just want to go home,' he said.
'Yeah, well, me too.'
You looked at him for a moment. You did not want to be around this man, but you also felt you couldn't just leave him like that. Something was off, but you didn't know what.
'Are you hungry?' you asked after a pause.
He looked up at you, clenched his jaw and let out a sigh, 'maybe.'
'Let's just… have a seat somewhere, get some breakfast and we'll figure this out, okay?' By his expression you understood that he didn't fully know what you meant, but he agreed regardless.
'Where do you keep your horse, lady?' he asked.
'My what?' you turned to him, 'I can't even afford a car, let alone a horse. I'm not rich.'
'Rich?' Sihtric mumbled to himself as he saw you walk away from him, and he quickly ran up and followed you.
You took him to the nearest donut store, as a lack of better options, and you sat him down at a table in the corner. Luckily, there was no one else around, as it was 7:30 in the morning by now. Only the cashier gave you a confused smile as you placed your order, to which you said that you also couldn't explain the man in armour.
You walked back to Sihtric and sat down, shoved the bag of donuts to his side of the table and you took out your phone.
'So, you want to go to Winchester?' you asked, looking at your phone as you took a mouth full of your donut. When Sihtric didn't reply you looked up at him, and you caught him staring very confused at your phone, then at you, then at the donuts and then to the place around him. He opened his mouth but not a word came out.
'Are you okay?' you asked and frowned.
'I just,' he paused, 'I do not understand.'
You squint your eyes at him. If he was acting, he was damn good, but you felt it was becoming more unlikely with each passing second. He looked seriously confused, almost even afraid. Could he have memory loss? Or maybe he was just not from around here? Was he actually from the past? You wondered all these things in a split second.
'What year do you think it is?' you then asked.
'Before I fell asleep it was 895.'
You stared at him, trying to see him break character, but it never happened. Instead, he looked down at the bag of donuts and slowly opened it, only to inspect the donuts with a very confused look.
'You're serious, aren't you?' you asked.
'I am telling the truth, lady, I swear on Thor's hammer,' Sihtric said and he reached for the pendant around his neck. You looked at him and couldn't help but start to feel for him. You didn't understand him, but you started to believe him. And you finally saw him, after much consideration, take a bite from the donut, to which his face turned sour and you couldn't help but laugh.
'You don't like it?'
'I… I am not sure,' he said hoarsely after he swallowed. He looked at you and then also slowly broke into a smile. You both chuckled for a moment.
'Sihtric,' you said, 'I want to help you. But you have to believe me, I don't know how to bring you back home if you are not from around here.'
You gave him a compassionate look, but his smile faded and he took a deep breath.
'You should not play with forces greater than you, if you do not know how to restore order,' he said.
'What?'
'Who did you work with? Loki?' he shrugged, 'did you cast a spell to cause chaos? What did you do to bring me here? And why?'
'Sihtric,' you said firmly, 'I did not do anything.'
He really started to annoy you at this point, and you were at your limit. 'I have no powers, I did not call upon anyone except for my spirit guides to ask them for guidance, nothing more. And I sure as hell did not ask for some weird, but unfortunately, quite hot medieval looking dude to show up in the woods to fuck around with my day,' you whispered angrily.
Sihtric looked taken aback.
'Then why were you the first person I saw?'
'Oh, I don't know,' you hissed, 'maybe because it was 6 fucking 30 in the morning!'
You composed yourself after snapping at him, 'I don't know what to do with you,' you said, 'I have places to be later, I can't stick around with you. Do you have a place to stay? Or any money for a place?'
'I have silver. And my arm rings,' Sihtric said as he proudly pointed at them.
You looked at him, impressed at the size of his arms but still very confused and annoyed, and you let your head fall into your hands. 'Yeah, sorry. But silver and arm rings will not help you here.'
You looked at each other for a while without saying anything.
Were you going to leave this, clearly lost, man on his own, with no money or anything else that could help him. Or were you going to do the stupidest thing you could think of? Of course you chose the last option.
'Okay, listen,' you said, 'you can stay at my place, but just for this afternoon. I do have some appointments to go to later, so you will have to stay alone. And I swear if you try anything, and I really mean anything, you will wish that you never woke up today.'
'I already wish that, lady,' he said. But he thankfully accepted your offer. And with heavy feet you walked him back to your house, wondering what on earth you were going to do with him.
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TWEEK: Okay
TWEEK: You
TWEEK: Mister
TWEEK: Tinfoil
TWEEK: Hat
TWEEK: Guy
KENNY: Stan
TWEEK: What
KENNY: His names Stan
TWEEK: Okay
TWEEK: Cool
TWEEK: I'm not gonna remember that
TWEEK: You said you had
TWEEK: Like
TWEEK: A bunker
TWEEK: Right?
STAN: Yeah
CRAIG: Dog shit covered ahhh barn 💀
TWEEK: Why is he saying Skull emoji out loud
TOLKIEN: Not even WE know at this point
KYLE: We gotta get him to stop that
KYLE: It's more annoying than
KYLE: ….Whatever….. Stan's got going on
CRAIG: Omg not you slandering me 💀
CRAIG: Don't even rn you look like the Goodwill shat you out
KYLE: Fuck you
KYLE: You know that Supreme hoodie isn't even real Supreme, right?
CRAIG: Lmao what
CRAIG: Me when I lie
KYLE: Nonononono
KYLE: Look look look
KYLE: It says “Souprem”
KYLE: It's fake merch dude
KYLE: Its as fake as those fucking yeezys
CRAIG: ….
KYLE: …Dude?
CRAIG: No that's my other hoodie
KYLE: Are you fucking serious
KYLE: You aren't even rich stop acting like you are
CRAIG: Nuh uh
KYLE: FUCK YOU MEAN NUH UH????
TOLKIEN: Kyle, just give it up
TOLKIEN: Trying to convince Craig he isn't rich is like trying to convince a toddler to wipe their own ass
TOLKIEN: It's not worth it
CLYDE: ….
CLYDE: Why do I feel like that was directed towards me?
TOLKIEN: Because It was, Clyde
CLYDE: OH COME ON I WASH MY OWN ASS
TOLKIEN: NO THE FUCK YOU DO NOT YOU SMELL LIKE A TACO BELL
CLYDE: FUCK YOU
CLYDE: AT LEAST TWEEK LIKES ME
TOLKIEN: OH SURE SURE SURE
TOLKIEN: TWEEK DOESN'T ACTUALLY LIKE YOU
TOLKIEN: THERE'S NO WAY SOMEONE LIKE TWEEK WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO GO AFTER YOU, YOU FUCKING TESTOSTERONE FUELED SHITSTAN
CLYDE: THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING I'M TRANS BUT FUCK YOU FOR INSULTING ME
TOLKIEN: YOU’RE VERY WELCOME, FUCK YOU TOO
CLYDE: YOU KNOW WHAT?? I BET YOU 30 BUCKS I CAN PULL IN TWEEK WITH MY MANLY AWESOMENESS
TOLKIEN: I BET YOU A MILLION DOLLARS YOU CAN'T
CLYDE: FINE
TOLKIEN: FINE
CLYDE: LETS FUCKING GO
CLYDE: I'LL ASK OUT TWEEK AND IT'LL BE THE MOST ROMANTIC THING EVER
STAN: Hmmm
STAN: At my barn we could like
STAN: Use my dad and my sister
STAN: As like
STAN: Food
KYLE: Dude no
KYLE: I am not resorting to cannibalism
CARTMAN: Kahl, you’ve eaten animals, that's basically like eating people
KYLE: Okay mr “forty big macs in one day”
CARTMAN: Uhm, actually they're vegan chicken patties KYLE
CARTMAN: ALSO did you just ASSUME my GENDER????
CARTMAN: YOU ARE GETTING C A N C E L L E D
CARTMAN: I WANT A TEAR RIDDEN UKELELE FILLED APOLOGY RIGHT NOW
KYLE: Oh my GODDDDD
KENNY: Actually studies show that most human meat is similar taste wise to chicken
CRAIG: I thought it was pork
CRAIG: Like
CRAIG: Deadass
CRAIG: Like pigs
CRAIG: Like deadass pigs
KENNY: We know what pork is CRAIG
STAN: Yeah
STAN: So we’re fucking set
CARTMAN: Uhhh no thanks, i’d rather be one with the animals and eat dirt and hay
STAN: We don't even have animals
CARTMAN: I’ll just eat the weed then
STAN: What
KENNY: What
KYLE: What
CRAIG: LMAOOOOOOO IM DEADDDDDDD 💀 💀 💀
CARTMAN: What???
CARTMAN: It's like eating catnip
CARTMAN: Besides its environmentally friendly
STAN: What's your source
CARTMAN: Wikipedia
STAN: Ooooof course it is
STAN: The internets lying to you, you know
CARTMAN: Fuck off, Stan, Queermo
STAN: IM TELLING THE TRUTH HERE
TWEEK: HhhhuGiyhvfdeiohjd
TWEEK: OKay
TWEEK: Cool
TWEEK: We’re set on a TOTALLY ANONYMOUS LOCATION
TWEEK: Awesome
TWEEK: Great
TWEEK: Dandy even!
TWEEK: Everyone
TWEEK: Lets hold hands
CRAIG: I am not touching Clydes fucking shitstained hands
TWEEK: Fine
TWEEK: I’ll hold Clyde's hand
TOLKIEN: Why do you wanna touch Clydes hands thats fucking nasty
CRAIG: For real
CRAIG: Preach 🙏🙏🙏
TWEEK: I don't care
TWEEK: It's just for a bit
TWEEK: I can wash my own hands afterwards
CRAIG: EWWWW FAGS
CLYDE: Aww… really?? :D
TWEEK: Fine
TWEEK: Sure
TWEEK: Whatever
CLYDE: Nobody other than Tolkien has wanted to hold my hand before! :DD
TOLKIEN: Was that before or after I figured out you don't wash your hands
TWEEK: Who else is fine with
TWEEK: Touching Clyde
CRAIG: Stop making me have gay thoughts, Playboi Carti
TWEEK: What
TWEEK: I don't
TWEEK: I'm not
TWEEK: Just
TWEEK: Hold hands
TWEEK: You all have socks on
TWEEK: I think
TWEEK: So it's not gay
CARTMAN: Uhm erm erm erm
CARTMAN: Actually
CARTMAN: That's a homophobic statement
TWEEK: CRAIG SAID A FUCKING SLUR?????????
TWEEK: WHAT???????
TWEEK: IM
TWEEK: HUH
TWEEK: WHAT
TWEEK: OKAY
TWEEK: JUST
TWEEK: JUST HOLD HANDS
TWEEK: STOP MAKING THIS HARDER FOR ME
CLYDE: Wow
CLYDE: I forgot
CLYDE: What holding hands felt like
KYLE: Woah
KYLE: This reminds me of the first episode of My Little Pony
KYLE: Where
KYLE: Twilight and her friends
KYLE: Find the friendship trinkets or whatever
KYLE: And they reverse the curse on them that turns them into stone
KYLE: And they used them to like
KYLE: Defeat Nightmare Moon
KYLE: Turning her back into Princess Luna
KENNY: That was so fucking gay
KENNY: I feel like I'm gonna vomit rainbows because of you
CARTMAN: Kenny stop being homophobic
CARTMAN: I will cancel you again
KENNY: Fuck off I know that blue hair you wear online is a wig
CARTMAN: BITCH-
TWEEK: SHUT UP
TWEEK: ALL OF YOU
TWEEK: MY SATAN
TWEEK: CAN YOU ALL GO LIKE
TWEEK: TWO MINUTES WITHOUT FIGHTING AND OR DEGRADING EACH OTHER
KENNY: ….
CARTMAN: ….
KYLE: …..
LITERALLY EVERYONE: …..
CRAIG: Slllaaa-
TOLKIEN: Dont
TOLKIEN: Just
TOLKIEN: Do not
TOLKIEN: Actually, you’ve lost speaking privileges
CRAIG: 😡
TWEEK: Alright
TWEEK: Is
TWEEK: Is everyone holding hands
CRAIG: yeah its like Kumbaya frfr
TOLKIEN: Stop talking
TWEEK: Okay
TWEEK: Alakazam
TWEEK: Alakazane
TWEEK: Im sending you off this mortal plane
KYLE: Wait wha-
CRAIG: Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe!
KENNY: Yoooo
CRAIG: Like and Share! Like and Share! Like and Share!
TOLKIEN: Haaaaa
TOLKIEN: What
TOLKIEN: Was that
TWEEK: Magic Trick
TOLKIEN: What
TWEEK: Hey you have a lot of free time when you live in a dumpster
CRAIG: Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link!
TOLKIEN: Whatever, please for the sake of our brain cells, never do that again
KENNY: I dunno
KENNY: I thought that was pretty cool
CRAIG: Kombucha? I LLLOOOVVVEEE KOMBUCHA! Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA
TWEEK: Alright
TWEEK: Humans
TWEEK: Freaks
TWEEK: Whatever your names are
TWEEK: Get in the fucking barn
TWEEK: Now, quoting the safety psas from Estella,
TWEEK: Don't open the door for strangers, Don’t investigate any random noises, don't take any offers from strange men in white vans, don't help anyone, if anyone says they're friends of your parents do not trust them
TWEEK: And for goodness sake,
TWEEK: USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM
CRAIG: I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis!
STAN: One, what are we, five?
STAN: Second
STAN: It's a backup bunker, not a barn
TWEEK: WHATEVER! JUST- GET IN
TWEEK: DO YOU WANNA LIVE OR NOT????
STAN: No
TWEEK: …
STAN: …
TWEEK: ….
STAN: ….
TWEEK: ….
TWEEK: O….
TWEEK: Kay…..
TWEEK: Just…..
TWEEK: Get in the barn
STAN: Fineeeee
STAN: Whatever
STAN: Fuck you
CRAIG: [ Gotta sleep in fucking pig shit this sucks fuck this ]
CLYDE: Hey
CLYDE: Hey
CLYDE: Hey Tweek
TWEEK: Arrrghhh…What….
CLYDE: Do
CLYDE: Do you
CLYDE: Do you think
CLYDE: Do you think we
CLYDE: Do you
CLYDE: Do you think we could
CLYDE: Maybe
CLYDE: Like
CLYDE: Go to like
CLYDE: Dennys
CLYDE: After this???
TWEEK: Whats
TWEEK: What's Dennys?
CLYDE: Oh
CLYDE: Uh
CLYDE: Maybe we could like
CLYDE: Go to Olive Garden then?
TWEEK: What
TWEEK: What's an olive?
TWEEK: And
TWEEK: And what's a Garden?
CLYDE: …
CLYDE: Oh you poor
CLYDE: Sweet
CLYDE: Summer child
CLYDE: You know what
CLYDE: I'm gonna take you to the Olive Garden
CLYDE: And you're gonna have the time of your fucking life
TWEEK: Uh
TWEEK: O
TWEEK: OKAY?????
CLYDE: Alright
CLYDE: I’ll see you there babe
TWEEK: Uh
TWEEK: UHHH
TWEEK: WHAT
TWEEK: DID YOU JUST CALL ME BABE
TWEEK: WHAT???
TOLKIEN: Don’t fall for that shit
TOLKIEN: He doesn't wash his hands
TOLKIEN: Or his ass
TWEEK: Why's that relevant?
TOLKIEN: IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING?????
TWEEK: CHILL OUT IT'S NOT THAT BAD
TOLKIEN: YES IT IS??????
TWEEK: …Whatevs
TOLKIEN: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS????
(edits made by @pissblanket)
#craigfluencer#craig tucker#hellpark#south park#south park edits#southpark#sp#underworld park#underworld park tweek#underworld park pip#underworld park clyde#underworld park tolkien#underworld park kyle#underworld park kenny#underworld park stan#underworld park cartman#blue_haired_cartman#underworld park thomas#underworld park estella#underworld park gregory
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I like to imagine Beyond's hypothetical shinigami dad (mom? I just find it more likely he was human born since he's... clearly a human with at least one shinigami power and if he was birthed by a shinigami he'd probably be more like a nerfed shinigami just by like... Pokemon breeding logic I guess) is a shinigami we haven't seen rather than a pre existing character simply because 1. That's another character oh boy how fun and 2. I feel like there'd have to be some ramifications of making such a beast. Like if extending human life is a crime punishable by instant death how is making another human also not a punishable offense? Like at the very least put them in time put for that. Don't just let them hang about with everyone else.
Anyway my personal take is that B's shinigami dad was summoned (I imagine there has to be some way to summon a shinigami, or at least ask for one to come down or something) by some shinigami worship cult or whatever and for whatever reason, decided to bone some human women and create Beyond Birthday. The shinigami king was like hey, what the fuck dude, penis privilege revoked for all of you and Beyond's father was permanently shunned by the rest of the shinigami because jacking off was the only other thing to do besides gambling.
The shinigami king had to make a whole bunch of rules about how Beyond should even function and assigned his father to look over him to make sure he wasn't being too much of an issue. Beyond's dad was already a very finicky and active shinigami so following some guy around earth wasn't ideal but he got to spend time with his kid I guess.
He never actually showed himself to B, kinda just doing paranormal shit like dropping things or moving things in his room when he wasn't in there. The reason why was that he didn't need B going full crazy and trying to convince everyone he was haunted by some freaky monster because B was already something of an outcast and didn't need another reason for people to hate him.
One interesting little idea I had was the concept of shinigami eye inheritance. My idea going that the eyes are a recessive trait and can only be introduced into the gene pool by someone having a child while they had the eyes. If both parents have them when the kid in conceived a child with be born with the eyes. B's mom made the deal and his dad was obviously a shinigami so he has the eyes. Now an interesting side effect of carrying the gene means there is a chance to recognize the vague visage of shinigami without touching a notebook. Not being fully capable, but still understanding that something was there. Basically, A happened to carry the gene because someone in his family had they eyes in the past meaning he could see B's dad following him. Now obviously B's father didn't account for this because honestly the chance of a human carrying that gene is so extremely slim and he only made an effort to hide himself from B so A got to see the distorted face of death and maybe that may have acounted in his unfortunate demise but hey he was gonna die young anyway and at least the visage of a death god haunting your friend helps inspire you to make cool horror art.
Oh also the reason B wasn't killed instantly is because the shinigami king was curious as to how his life would go. It went bad but he was amused by the LABB murder cases (obviously shinigami kid would not be in trouble for murder, it's literally in his blood.)
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Creations AU, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 8
Holy crap how are there 8 parts.
211-240
Well it took 200 pages but he cracked like a damn egg in front of someone.
Sammy's a cool dude though.
Again we see characters treat Mike rather, differently because they know something about him we are assumed not to. or at least don't have full context too.
He's delicate and understanding towards a complete WTF situation.
Sammy's continues to be a delicate dude about Mike's horrible horrible ordeal.
Mike's memory is fuzzy atm.
Apparently they were gonna "Talk to a puppet"
Ya know that thing we saw as a plushie earlier on. Sammy seems to think that's weird.
and holy shit it's a corpse.
Haha don't yell in front of the traumatized man in shock at who he's looking at. Sammy quickly rights himself as soon as he notices that.
Sammy seems way more upset about Mike being put in danger than having to help him. X'D He's used to bullshit I suppose.
"Prank" our asses Michael you got impaled.
So the owners know about Mike's mental health struggles and an illness we aren't quite privy too. One that makes it hard for Mike to distinguish reality.
Thanks Michael.
Makes sense why William was so weird. (Still handled that poorly)
Sammy's handling it a bit better in the sense he isn't acting like Mike's unhinged or dangerous and he's clearly not scared to be in the same room as Mike, but is being delicate and soothing for Mike's sake.
Also: Michael has a history of doing "Crap" which is amusing. Wtf are you doing Michael. X'D
You can see why I like Sammy right? X'D
Specifically his line "DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME APOLOGIZE TO HIM"
Dudes got his priorities are in place. He doesn't want Michael to kiss his ass he wants him to make shit right with Mike. Ya know, the person actually most affected by this shit.
We can see between the two Sammy is clearly the more responsible one and despite Michael's shit talking earlier Sammy is pretty level headed.
We can see why they don't get along though.
Also because heights/panel layouts are hard: Sammy is around the same height as Mike, aka he's short lmao but they're just shown at head level for convenience reasons.
Sammy is literally that one meme of the woman holding the guy pointing at the other woman angrily.
He continues to be responsible by NOT letting Michael take Mike home lmao. Let's be real I wouldn't trust Michael to do smth like that either. X'D
Haha Mike you still aren't okay are you?
Sammy's still trying to be nice.
Sammy that's a weird response...
Oh.
He's nuts too!
Mike's response to Sammy's insane rambling about not being sure he's a real person is just
"...Yeah"
Lmao.
Seems Sammy has had a colorful past with Freddy's himself. Makes sense he's one of the owner's son.
Which makes his relationship with William very...questionable from an age/how long they've known each other angle. If you were curious about why Michael was possessive over Mike earlier and called William a "Gross old man" now you now. William's having relations with his business' partner's son who's presumably older than Michael but stillllllll wtf Will. X'D. Healthy relationships isn't something this series thrives on if you haven't noticed.
Also: Silver eyes reference with the Spring Bonnie panel.
Fourth closet reference with "Fake Charlie".
The panel where Sammy's face is an endoskeleton is symbolism by the way, not directly "real".
The depths of Sammy's paranoia and anxieties he's not real is justified. How WOULD you know if you were a fake person? XD
What I like during this convo is Mike asking directly if Sammy thinks he's crazy and Sammy swiftly responding with "Not really no"
Ahh. So Mike for sure has an illness that makes him see things that "aren't there".
(It's never directly stated to be schizophrenia because I don't like writing illnesses I don't have 1 to 1, but what Mike's been experiencing LATELY Has not been apart of his illness, as he's medicated and as we've seen: Cody was very much real.)
And we hear it from Mike: He thinks everything he's seen with Cody so far has been a dream of some kind. Since again, he's on medication he shouldn't be hallucinating.
I forgot this was the case till going back and looking into FNAF stuff again: Mike's character trait of hallucinating was based on the player character "Mike Schmidt" having hallucinations/the "Rare screens" in FNAF 1.
Something I've hoped ya noticed: Mike's character arc is gaining friendships and relationships and getting over what happened at Freddy's.
Lol so you COULD see as this purely as Sammy being manipulative buuuut here's how it is to me:
He cares enough about Mike's health to let him have a break at all.
He cares about the robots happiness because replacing nightguards is implied to be stressful for them.
He's a "Try to keep everyone happy" kind of person lmao.
Also new character yay.
Lmao. She's weird.
This is Mike's roommate! :D We knew he lived with someone and now this is just conformation.
She
looks
familiar....
Wonder if we've seen ANOTHER red head who's associated with green....Oh yeah. The ghost that spoke to Bonnie briefly.
Something brought up before:
Sammy hired Mike so Sammy is technically Mike's boss.
This art style wise was when I decided: I just needed to get pages done and I didn't super care about the quality (Still feel that way)
the first arc isn't my favorite. FNAF 3 was fun because of our 2nd favorite local hoe behind Freddy himself, known as Andrew Sister Location was a SLOG It was LITERALLY just the game dialogue and occasionally I had fun with Josh, but it differed enough from the game that I NEEDED to do it bleh and FNAF 4 had it's moments again, everything original was fun.
Twisted ones and Pizza Sim are my favorite concept wise because that's when shit SUPER hits the fan. They aren't directly 1 to 1 with anything so I can go nuts.
The FNAF 1 arc mostly ESTABLISHES a lot so when we get to BATSHIT INSANITY nobody's confused who everyone is and what their relationships to each other are.
Anyway: Mike explains wtf they were doing at Freddy's to this woman, clearly SHE'S the person he's been conspiring against Freddy's with.
The Puppet is a fan favorite design in Creations and to this day I don't get it:
I gave the regular puppet HAIR. That's about it. X'D
Either way: Mike can't fully trust the info given during this because of Michael's "Prank".
Keep in mind: They went her presumably to discuss how to fix Freddy's. Which is what Michael and Mike were talking about before shit went wrong.
Sus things:
Michael knows about the "Putting people in robots" thing or at least is implied to know. How and why does he know that?
Michael's friends/acquaintances with the girl who put his brother in the Golden Freddy costume. Does he KNOW Cody's fate?
How does he feel about these things?
So Mike presumably waited 5 years to do anything about what was happening at Freddy's because he wasn't ready to confront this.
William was committing the "Main" murders that caught Mike's attention 5 years ago. They conformed there ARE more than Jeremy by mentioning "victims" but he came HERE after an incident at a sister location Fredbear's having children and the owner go missing.
Michael woke up from his accident 5 years ago.
Afton has dabbled in making robots that look and act human.
and the suspected main goal from this was to create robots that had human souls/remnant inside them.
HMMMMMM WONDER WHAT'S GOING ON LMFAO.
Lol oop-
Sooo question: Does Sammy know about his sister being in the puppet? X'D
If he does it'd make sense why he was confused Michael and Mike were talking to her lmfao.
Also if you're FNAF savvy you're probably wondering wtf is up with Fake Charlie and all that. Considering Charlie is APARENTLY STILL ALIVE.
Huh.
I have a comic planned explaining all that BS with Sammy, Charlie and "Fake Charlie" and the puppet. Because it is left almost completely not answered in the main series lmfao.
Suffice to say: Mike's "WTF" attitude is pretty spot on.
The robot Sammy ran into that looked like his sister isn't the one currently walking around AS his sister, since they presumably dismantled it from his comment about it bleeding and the Puppet is his REAL sister.
And there's just something/someone walking around claiming to be Charlie.
OH.
SO JOSH IS MISSING NOT DEAD?~
SL readers again, know what happened But I'm being cheeky here until we review SL too.
So Michael seems to think Josh is "Dead". That's weird. Why would he think that exactly? With the specific detail of dying from machinery? Is this something his dad told him to keep quiet about?
Michael does seem to know a lot more than he SHOULD.
Lmao our new gal pal suggesting zombies is funny especially if you know what happened to Josh.
Dead people don't stay dead at Freddy's lmfao.
HAH HE RECORDED THAT CONVERSATION.
Haha wonder if that important thing has been staring you right in the face.
No the series is not subtle about who it is but it was never meant to be a "Twist". UNLIKE THE SILVER EYES SERIES
The evidence to who the robot is is made obvious from the start, it's not meant to be an ass pull. You're supposed to be in on it. You're waiting for everyone to notice the OBVIOUS but the OBVIOUS isn't relevant to completely see until later.
You know they're weird the second they appear on screen lmfao. The denial comes from the very idea a PERSON robot is a thing is hard to believe. So the CHARACTERS are in denial this person is a robot. BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME A NORMAL HUMAN IS A ROBOT!? X'D
Humans dismiss a LOT of shit until what they're looking at is undeniable. Mike's still in denial what he's thinking is the 100% fact because holy shit this entire situation is BONKERS.
Everyone in the building is BONKERS. Everything that goes down in there is BONKERS.
And even worse: Mike cannot trust his own eyes fully because of his hallucinations.
Like if someone you met had a few oddities with them your first thought wouldn't be "Oh they're a robot" it'd be "Oh that's weird" and it would build, and build and build until you're like "Oh..."
It's the fucking invader zim affect lmao. An alien being in your god damn class is so out of the realm of THINKABLITY you wouldn't even think that's a possibility.
Of course: Our characters are AT the point where "A human robot is a possibility" now all that's left is waiting for them to realize WHO it is and fully connect everything together.
Mike's still in denial. Poor dude is used to having to not fully trust what he sees/experiences. Which sucks.
HAHAHA YES TALK TO FREDDY. >:)
SHOW US THE BEAR MIKE!!!!
Haha his friend/roommate is a goof.
...I hope the cut to Michael is as funny to everyone else as it is to me considering wtf they were JUST talking about.
AND OKAY MICHAEL HOW COULD YOU HURT BONNIE'S FEELINGS LIKE THAT?!
He's playing on the Pikachu and Eevee switch which either conforms he has 3 switches or 3 sets of joycons at least lmao. Rich little shithead.
#fnaf au#fnaf comic#fnaf fan comic#fnaf fan art#fnaf creations au#fnaf golden freddy#golden freddy#mike schmidt#fnaf michael afton#michael afton#bonnie#fnaf bonnie
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Please share Unity thoughts im so curious
GAH since you asked so nicely <3
!!MAJOR SPOILERS FOR AC UNITY AHEAD!!
I love Arno for one, he's so nice and charismatic. A charmer ofc and I see why people say he's the 'french Ezio' on that note I do NOT agree. Ezio was so much more fleshed out and looked into than what we get from Arno's story. He lost his father and wanted revenge, like Ezio BUT!!!! He ended up completely shifting his goal.
He went from going from target to target for the info ofc and to report back to the Brotherhood, to becoming skeptical and angry at the council. I don't think he lost the goal of revenge for his father but rather became so attached to Élise and he couldn't overlook her own goals so he aligned them with hers to PROTECT her.
GOD CAN I PLEASE GET A HAPPY LOVE STORY??? I knew she was going to die(thanks AC community) but GOD did it hit so much harder seeing and hearing the music play in the background god the utter CHILLS I get from this soundtrack.
It's so heartbreaking because his goal all along was to avenge his father, and he did. But in that process he lost his lover, who was more important to him than some target.
GOD IM JUST SHHSHWHAA
Now for the gameplay itself I have much criticism :(
I really dislike how the combat works in this one. I get so annoyed with the party timing and how slow everything is I just miss fast quick combat that doesn't take a million tries.
Along with it taking so long was my struggle with levelling up GOD did this bother me!! I hated having to spend days trying to level up my gear and skills just to do the next story mission. That kinda ruined my immersion and I got lost a lot in the story because of it 💔.
Btw the stupid gun shit SUCKS I get shot twice and I'm literally dead done gone holy shit lower the damage pls
Another thing is probably the parkour being super janky for me with the unfortunate erasure of manual jumping MY LOVEEEEE
Overall the gameplay is nice and good but it's not as good as I had expected so I'd rate it around a 6/10
The stealth system was also a little annoying and pissed me off at times because id barely be seen and then get all the guards in the whole damn building coming for my ass and I'd be dead in two seconds. Other than that I like it I suppose.
I can't specifically rate the story because yes it is more underwhelming compared to the former games imo but I did like it because of how romance centered it was in the end. I am however mad about the boss fight wtf was that shit
That's the only thing I'll diss the most bro where's my super cool battle why do I gotta be sneaking around and only doing 3 tries for an assassination come ON Ubisoft.
This WHOOOLE game you've been building up the spooky grand master dude for me to finish off and I get this janky ass boss fight and Élise is just sitting there doing nothing?? Like ok Ms "we need to take him out together!" THEN HELP ME GOOD LAWD
Ig she did help by dying but OH WELL MAN WHATEVER
I will be replaying this in the future I'm sure so I can further dive into the story and kinda carve it into my mind since I had to waste so much time trying to grind just to get to the next level
*Cough*Sequence 10 was kicking my fucking ass with that STEALTH god fuck you*Cough*
#assassin's creed#assassins creed#assassin's creed unity#ac unity#arno dorian#arno victor dorian#elise de la serre#scallywagrants#i cna say i love this game tho ngl#i like it :)#good game overall#super unfortunate how janky it is#but i just LOVE arno hes so pretty#like a painting#*mwah*#chefs kiss bro#also elise can take me anyday#GAHHGHD
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Top 10 favorite CV characters!
I remember when you sent me this ask a year ago! I was in the middle of playing CoD and I still had other games to go lol. Well...
10) Julia. She deserves more than for being remembered for an awkward romance plot :( I like her coy attitude towards Hector, and I'm intrigued by the implications that she's repressing her pain for the Isaac situation, for the sake of assisting the man who wants to kill her brother.
9) Walter. Honestly for a guy just meant to be Beta Dracula, the dude is very fun! He's like a Dracula if he didn't even pretend to have a shred of decency or justification :P dude just wants to play with his food because he's bored, and he's entertainingly cruel about it, from deliberately turning the women he kidnaps for shit and giggles to subjecting Joachim to a fate worse than death. Proof that villains don't always need a tragic backstory, as long as they have style.
8) Joachim. I warmed up to the guy! He reeks of "cut from development", because his concept is very fascinating and he's so wasted as a random boss. He's antagonistic to Leon because he's a haughty vampire who clearly thinks he deserves at least his castle lol, but also to Walter because holy shit the dude really punished him in an exemplary manner. That art of him looking out of his mind says a lot. Also he has very cool powers that make him a joy to use in Joachim Mode.
7) Leon. A pure, noble-hearted knight, so honest that he won't even take a sword that didn't belong to him, who only wished the wellbeing of his fiancée and his best friend... and oh. Oh how he paid for it :) Leon's story is utterly miserable, made even worse by how he ends his game with the most depressing canonical ending imaginable. My man has immense mental fortitude, and I love the scene where he angrily rejects Mathias' offer of immortality because he'd rather honor Sara's dying wish, unlike a certain vampire we know... but he didn't know that, by swearing revenge on the newly-turned Mathias, he'd doom his own lineage to a lifetime of terrible pressure...
6) Rosaly. girl <3 I once again have to thank Ayami Kojima and Kou Sasakura for breathing life into this character, especially the latter. She's just an aggressively kind girl who will love you to death. Even if others think she's too nice or too trusting, she stubbornly helps people because she likes to do so. And I find it a very interesting detail that she seems absolutely unconcerned with Hector's past: she only sees the good in him, without the baggage. I find her endearing :)
5) Trevor. He's the Sonic of Castlevania. He's shaped like a friend <3 I like what personality we can glean from CV3: that despite being shunned by people for his powers (now where did I hear that before) he was ready to accept the quest of slaying Dracula - he didn't even do it for the Legacy, he's just that much of a brave guy! - and he was able to easily befriend and lead all sorts of people, hinting at his charisma and at his good heart. And of course in CoD he's just sass central :P I forgive his weird hostility against Hector because, despite his cockiness and ferocity, I like how he still takes the time to give credit to his friends for their victory <3
4) Dracula. The bastard himself :) I really like how, by being the most recurring character in the series, he ended up being quite fleshed out. His tragic story does little to justify how much of a hypocritical asshole he is. He loves so intensely, yet so selfishly. He wants his son by his side, but only after cutting his human heritage. He takes two abused boys under his wing, but only to raise them as his loyal knights and forgerers of armies. And overall, you can see the degradation of his morals and even his personality through the centuries, as he loses a piece of his humanity with every resurrection... not that he was a saint as a human, either.
3) Shanoa. Things Shanoa deserved: the world. Things Shanoa did not deserve: all the shit that happened to her :) it's hard to make an interesting character out of an amnesiac without emotions, yet Shanoa is intriguing. This girl who was taken in by Ecclesia as a young child, raised to become a weapon to vanquish all evil yet constantly protected by Albus... even when she loses everything, even when she learns that her entire life is a lie and for her beloved mentor she was nothing more than a lamb to the slaughter, she still wants to fight, she still chooses to sacrifice herself. And by the end, she finds a place to live in Wygol Village, after rescuing and befriending all the villagers. also she kitty :3
2) Isaac. A pathetic wet cat of a man <3 just terrible in every way <3 miserable and bitter and ready to make it everyone else's problem <3 genuinely tragic backstory of terrible loss that makes you pity him but never to the point of excusing his terrible actions <3 how much he strives to be nothing but a tool and dying as one (and a defective one too) <3 absolute banger of a theme too <3
Hector. I just think he's neat.
:P
I talked enough about the guy. I know that he's basically a smoothie of Alucard and Guts. But something about his journey of self affirmation, how he chose to serve Dracula out of a need to belong somewhere then chose to put his principles above his trauma but still paid the consequences for his past alliance and betrayal, the parallels with Isaac and Dracula showing that yes you can fall into evil but you can rise again as many times as you want, his development thanks to Rosaly, his struggle with his own humanity and powers... It just speaks to me, what can I say.
#castlevania#akumajou dracula#julia laforeze#walter bernhard#joachim armster#leon belmont#rosaly castlevania#trevor belmont#dracula castlevania#shanoa#isaac laforeze#hector castlevania
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a comprehensive list of what numbers are good, from 1 to 100
good; it's One.
good; it's Two.
good; it's Three. heads up, basically all the single-digit numbers are valid, for similar obvious reasons
good
very good
good
good
good
good
fantastic. exceptional, even
not ideal. should be either 12 or 10. smacks of indecision. also prime, which is bad
almost as good as 10
hmm. I'm not superstitious but a lot of people don't like this one. avoid it so you don't make people uncomfortable
it's okay but it's overshadowed by 15. also has bad connotations
fantastic. almost as good as 12
A+. no notes
bad
meh?
bad. be 20
very good
not a fan of this one but I accept criticism
positives: multiple of 11. nice symmetry. negatives: overall mediocre in tone. too close to 23, which is bad. final score: ehh
bad
all the coolness of being double 12 is far outweighed by being overshadowed by 25. I guess it's hours in a day, which is alright
sexiest number on this list by far
not good. number of letters? try again loser
it's 3 cubed which is cool I guess? meh. skip it
bad, unless you're doing months
bad
good! very good. not as good as 20 but better than 40
meh
32 my beloved. how do I count the ways. me and 32 frolic in the meadows with flowers in our hair and the shimmer of laughter in our breath
much better than 22 but idk if I'd call it "good"
the first real pervert number. shame
pretty good
damn, that's a lot of nines! 36 keeps showing up where I least expect it. pretty cool I guess
bad but a little hot. naughty even
bad
bad
not as good as 30 but it's okay. try for 50 if you can
bad
the answer to life, the universe, and everything. overplayed. gauche
really really bad. really bad. bad. really really bad
about the same as 33 tbh
good! great, even. very kind number
meh
boldly going where no man has gone before. kiss me, 47
it's the same as 45 but a little sexier and no I won't explain. iykyk
honestly not sure I've ever seen this one before. when did we get this one? have we always had this one? huh.
fantastic. great. marvellous. solid number. you could moor your goddamn ship to this number. wise and strong. so good that it completely overshadows everything in its decade (see the following)
shit
what?
bad
bad
pretty good
bad
bad
bad
really bad
not great but alright. maybe a little better than 40
meh?
this one strikes me as pretty cool for some reason. I don't vibe with it but I'm happy to sit back and watch it do whatever it does
oh. huh. hmm. I'm not sure about this one. it's a little scary
dude, FUCK yeah. after me and 32 frolic in the meadows we sit down for tea with 64 and comb each other's hair in the shade of a great oak tree
less than ideal but it's doing its best. honestly rating 65 immediately after 64 feels unfair.
slap another 6 on this bad boy and you get an S-tier number. as it is, feels a little rushed and incomplete
everyone's favourite two-thirds approximation! functional if clunky
bad
nice. second real pervert number. shame
COMICALLY overshadowed by 69
no thanks <3
pretty good
bad
I feel an odd dark kinship with this number..... it worries me
good number. fantastic. not as sexy as 25 and not as sturdy as 50 but is still wise, strong, and kind. I'd trust an impressionable child to be raised by this number
it's okay but it's no 75
wow! 77!
honestly undecided about this one
bad
good! I like 80. has a nice shape to it. it's round in both texture and personality
bad
baaad? kinda??
very very bad
dude, stop trying to be 64
it's pretty good if you can't get 80
isn't this a food service number? I don't like that
hmmm. this one raises some good questions
this is the nazi number. FUCK this number.
reminds me of 88. fuck it
pretty solid number! about the same as 80 but might be a little better or worse depending on context
bad
bad
bad
meh
this one's kinda sexy ngl 👀 95 got me acting unwise
I'd rather not thanks
ooooOOOooh I like this one
dude this one is GREAT
99 is a beautiful number and I love it, it's musical and enchanting and a little sensual
I have extremely complicated feelings about 100, but overall, I'm leaning towards "very good, but lacks variety"
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Dude the human body is crazy
That post about T giving you too much blood, and how thats a genetic condition passed down mainly through cis men (hemachromatosis). And how its a risk for going on T because someone can have inherited the gene but not know until going on T triggers the issues. I need to do more research, because I cant find a lot of information on how it reacts to T (besides it often resulting in lower T), but it almost looks like the body gets T and is like "Oh cool we're going dude mode now, heres that condition you were missing!"
Makes me think of how people who have had a hysterectomy can still experience the menstruation cycle even without a Uterus. Like PMS and the soreness and bloating associated with cramps. And its hard to find research on because its a newly recorded phenomenon with a lot of bias against it, but trans women on E may also experience a monthly cycle (PMS and the soreness and bloating associated with cramps) even without a Uterus as well. The body gets estrogen and is like "oh sick i know what to do with this! Pain!!!!!"
Like it really drives in how the human body is made of analogous structures. The reproductive system is all the same parts, just given different instructions. The clitoris can get erections! Hormones can change BONES even though its limited! (Horomonal changes also affect the bones during menopause for example, something archaeologists or forensic scientists can notice)
And speaking of, that whole thing about "when archaeologists see your skeleton THEN they will know" is bullshit! (ON SO MANY LEVELS)! Sex determination with bones is typically based on the measurement of literally ONE bone. And the field of archaeology has, for quite some time, acknowledged how innaccurate this can be. (And honestly, this assumption shows a lack of science knowledge in general, where in my experience researchers like to lean more towards "probably" rather than "definitely" when making ANY kind of assertion about something because there are ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS!)
Thanks to X-rays, we have classifications for different types of pelvis shapes. Do you know what may cause someone to have a C-section???? Having an Android (or "male-shaped") pelvis. Yes. A cis woman LITERALLY GIVING BIRTH, may have a pelvic shape that is labeled as having a masculine shape. AND IT IS NOT THAT RARE!!!! (A brief search says 20% of cis women)
But consider that people usually only get X-rays or other scans when absolutely needed. There could be so much more overlap that we arent even aware of. Things that are "rare instances" may not be that rare. We arent analyzing the dna of every person in existence, we only see what we are looking for and research has only just opened up past our cultural biases towards gender!
We know from studies of the brain that a lot of gendered assumptions (women are good at sorting colors because they were gatherers, etc) are not well-defined AT ALL. A lot of it may be learned during development. There are some stereotyped trends, but they're just small percentage trends such that its impossible to look at a brain and 100% say "yup thats male!", only at the most "well, statistically, its Slightly More Likely male" and still be very wrong. Exceptions are the NORM.
(And that whole evolutionary psychology thing of "women are better at colors because gatherers?"...based on what ancestors?!?!?!?!? Different groups of ancient people had different gender norms!!! There wasn't just one big caveman family for the entire paleolithic!!!! There are SO MANY recorded remains of what are most likely female hunters!!!!! Why would they not take advantage of having MORE HUNTERS during a hunting season?!?!!)
"Its simple biology" is quite possibly the most ignorant statement one can make, its a paradox. Biology is INHERENTLY complex, varied, and difficult to categorize. If you say it's simple even just for the sake of categorization, you are literally admitting to not knowing SHIT. Ask anyone into taxonomy. Categorizing animals seems easy if youve never actually done it, and meanwhile there are appparently heated debates on river dolphin teeth and whether or not river dolphins with no visible differences except slightly different teeth are different species or not. Birds are reptiles!!! Everything is a fucking fish!!!! Rigid thought based on societal bias is antithetical to science (though it has SURE affected science!)
Its that bias where the less you know about something, the easier you think it is. Someone may think they already know everything about a topic if they never actually researched it because they dont know whats out there. Whereas someone actually knowledgeable in that field KNOWS that its complicated and feels LESS like they know everything about it. Cis people who have never thought deeply about gender THINK it is simple because they lack any experience. They THINK its the same as they believed in preschool because they never challenged it - when everything else you learn in grade school is obviously simplified!!!
Its so blatantly apparent how little transphobes want to actually consider facts. Its all "just ask a biologist" until real biologists tell them its complex, then its "science is woke". They'll talk about gender all day and yet mock anyone actually studying it. It's all about rigid definitions, until someone tells them the literal definition of gender makes it seperate from sex. They pretend to care so much about the literal definitions of words and what you can and can't call something due to biology...but still call a seastar a "starFISH".
The WORLD is amorphous! Words are merely tools! Biology hates rigid categorization! EXCEPTIONS ARE THE NORM! live your damn life!
#dullblogging#disclaimer#i can add sources if asked but ill never get around to posting this if i try gathering them now#on mobile lol#my drafts are FILLED bc of that lol#so dont take my rambling as a source do research keep in mind bias exists#these are all rambling based on research i have done#for example that first thing ive only just heard of today and so i feel my understanding of it is shaky#but everything in the latter half of the post about biology being weird and amorphous#thats just true like. that is what biology is lol#if you insist on rigidity you are not doing biology
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Breakin' the hearts of middle-aged cruise-loving housewives, Sojiro? I'm willing to walk but I guess you wanna linger around and remind me what a bad dude I am.
Reverie, we might need to speedrun the transformation from Quiet, Chill Dude to Absolute Fucking Menace out of spite. Fuck being a law-abiding citizen, i want to get a can of gasoline and set this dude's desk on fire.
squints
That's my student ID and what. She seemed kind of verklempt about it so I assume something risque.
Man, that'd just be the way of it, right? Everyone here giving Reverie shit for his trumped up charges and my teacher is doing something illicit on the side.
Bruh, this is less cold shoulder and more shoving my head into the arctic ocean. In my last life, I met a girl and within three minutes she'd kicked one of my classmates in the balls, and I feel like that'd be a warmer welcome than y'all been givin'.
One: I like actually seeing a portrait of our guy, it actually helps me feel like I know this sad sack.
Two: Why does every single thing I hear about this feel like Reverie is being set up for even more fall-guy-ification? Who the fuck asked you, Sojiro, and who the fuck paid you, and was it a guy with an enormous nose and voice like thunder echoing in a canyon?
Plot shit is happening. There are a lot of weird accidents around the city. Violent ones. It feels like something goopy is comin' out of the victims. Is that shadow goop or other goop? Time will tell.
Hey its our Seeker of Andraste, Sae, watching the news of the derailment. Apparently she thinks the weird incidents are connected. Which already means she Knows To Much and I bet her superiors will try to betray her later.
Also, THAT'S Akechi right? He looks like a beige origami towel decided to go to school, but Sae talks to him like he's knowledgeable. Naoto 2.0, This Time Not Hot?
Sojiro calls up the cafe to tell Reverie to lock up and turn the sign, and has this gemstone.
Dojima, hey, I'm sorry for comparing you to this guy earlier. Yeah, sorry about that, you didn't deserve it.
It's like trying to uninstall bloatware and it getting re-added every time you do a fucking security update, Motorola.
Sojiro does make us curry for breakfast, which would be thoughtful if I wasn't convinced he'd put us out on the street for vaping.
Also I love curry but curry for breakfast? I'm good, thanks.
YOUR PAL ARCHIE IS OFF TO A GREAT START. god this game doesn't give me a fast travel menu, I am Fucked.
Out in the rain, we spot a future party member. Her hair is incredible, look at that volume. Reverie stares for a while and I think he's just Super Awkward. Like, I've glimpsed Reverie The Cool Thief Guy in the opening sequence. It's like there's a Clark Kent thing going on here, where normal Reverie is such a Awkward Turtle you cannot imagine him as Sly Cooper.
... wait is she Moot? hey, girl, are you Moot?
fucking Evil Patrick Warburton drives by and offers Moot a ride in the rain. He also offers Reverie, and Reverie gives
THE MOST AWKWARD LITTLE WAVE
like oh honey. I'm trying to nail down his personality and so far I think it's I Got Audio Processing Issues And Rather Than Asking Everyone To Repeat Themselves I Just Make Affirming Noises And Wave. Boy howdy.
Oh and Moot looks about as thrilled to be in that car as I would be thrilled to sit on a knife. So this Kamoshida guy is not a safe dude I presume. Sorry, Moot, next time I'll come up with an excuse to get you outta there.
Already met another party member! Also, WOW your bleach job is AMAZING? Look at that texture you have, look at the fullness of the color. What are you using, bro, is that Ion Sensitive Scalp, I find that one is great for aggressive lightening without making shit feel like straw. What's your conditioner?
Also, king of the castle, huh. Given what's about to happen, that's an interesting 'coincidence.'
Then the story jumps back to the Framing Device all of a sudden.
"Psychotic breakdown incidents" wow, could you guys not come up with something that rolls off the tongue, like Apathy Syndrome?
Was Reverie ordinary, idk man, what do you think happens when you hear "hey you fucking suck and will be homeless if you so much as smoke a single solitary weed" 7 times a day?
I bet Reverie could use a weed tbh.
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[JUMPS IN YOUR INBOX] YOU! KEEP TALKING.
Saw your analysis post information Marble Sky and was incredibly intrigued by how well you connected details in the story. I hadn't caught the detail of Holly presumably being an incredibly important member of his species because of his addition to The Vault. That's a very nice catch. Additionally, I do think you're right about the Vault's function being long-term preservation rather than a holding place for people about to be killed. Holly's obviously been there long enough to put down literal roots and has been onserved to be peaceful enough that Ward was placed with him for co-habitation.
Not only does that imply that Sculptors cares about his subjects not killing each other, but he also has found through rooting around in Ward's brain that humans are social creatures and need social interaction to maintain vitality. If he has plans to kill Ward, it wouldn't make sense for him to place him with another inmate, giving him a "roomie" suggests that he plans to keep Ward long-term, and in fair mental condition. The same applies to Holly as well. Nobodies stopped him from growing plants in the Vault, despite him obviously being captured and under surveillance. If we're to assume that proximjty to vegetation is important for teegardians (tbh its important for humans too, but I digress) then it can be assumed that they're trying to keep him sane as well. Not for anything good, mind you, but it implies Sculptor isn't a "mad" scientist but rather a thorough and clinically practical one.
I have Thoughts about other aspects of your analysis (positive ones prommy) but this ask is very long. Anyway A+ analysis you forced me to overcome social anxiety to brain dump in your inbox haha
Thank you♡♡♡♡♡
I love when a scientist who's Objectively A Bad Guy is also Objectively A Good Scientist, it makes everything feel so tactile, if that's the way to describe it. "Some of you will die be horrifically traumatized and violated by weird information scraping biotech. But that is a sacrifice I am willing to make."
There seems to be established protocols around the situation with the humans. 'We found a primitive spacecraft with creatures inside.' 'The edible kind?' Ward says he feels like they're being watched. Ecliptica warns Alcor not to bite Oscar because he doesn't know where he's been. These Are Very Organized People, and because we the audience are more inclined to lean into Oscar's POV than Ward's on account of wanting to see Oscar successfully woo this big scary alien, we don't notice how Fucking Terrifying That Organization Is. An organization facilitated by Sculptor's deeply unethical science because final leadership defaults to Ecliptica due to her being the biggest and strongest.
Like. Like the Echolocators a curious species, but in a universe where they are some of the most dangerous things in space, so everyone, especially high ranking officials like Sculptor and Ecliptica, just confidently takes what they want. The hierarchy within their own colony is functionally the only thing that gives any of them pause. When Ecliptica is testing how far Oscar's trust in her not being a danger to him goes, Alcor fearfully scurries out of his arms because 'Oh shit, the moon is getting up in my space, I gotta get out of here.' and he looks on anxiously as she picks Oscar up because Oscar is his fun big dude who tastes like a great snack when he bites him and has this cool music stuff in his headphones. It's perfectly fine for Alcor to crawl all over and cling to Oscar, but suddenly Oscar is up close and personal with the most dangerous thing in Alcor's life and he just stands next to Ward anxiously flicking his tail around.
I have an idea mostly based around uhhh nothing I guess that it's not that female Echolocators are rare or anything, it's that they're Extremely Territorial and very likely to fucking Kill one another.
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