#ralvez fanfic
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In the Event of My Demise | Ralvez
not my gif
Title inspo- In the Event of my Demise - Jake Bugg
A/N - this is for @imagining-in-the-margins Comfort Challenge. Thank you to the wonderful @tobias-hankel for being my beta! Set post 13.6 The Bunker. Includes references to 12.22 Red Light. I wrote this in a like a day, but I don’t hate it so, yeah.
Summary - months after his release from prison, Spencer Reid still hasn’t allowed himself to deal with the residual trauma of what happened to him. When a local case triggers his inevitable breakdown, Luke Alvez must pull Spencer back from the brink or risk losing him to his demons forever.
Pairing - Spencer Reid / Luke Alvez (platonic ish)
Category - hurt / comfort | angst | hopeful ending
Content Warnings - Mentions of prison arc, Cat Adams and Lindsey Vaughn and Mr Scratch, talk of PTSD, therapy, swearing, mental breakdowns, possible psychotic breaks, small mention of blood, mentions of sexual assault (as per canon), talk of being drugged, Spencer losing his grip on reality, tears, a broken man just needing a hug, hidden feelings.
WC - 7.6k
Profiling hadn’t come naturally to Luke Alvez. As a former army ranger turned fugitive task force agent it wasn’t something he’d ever had to be versed in. He was a man hunter, he didn’t read human behaviour the way the rest of the BAU did every single day. Picking up on little nuances and tiny changes in a person's tone of voice or posture wasn’t something that came easily to him.
Luke was used to being more hands on. The physical aspect of the job was no issue for him whatsoever. He could chase down an unsub no problem. In all honesty he could run circles around most of his team, with the exception of Simmons anyway. But Matt’s background in the IRT meant he had a better grasp on profiling and despite joining the team later than Luke, seemed to be flourishing in this environment.
But Luke was no quitter and he refused to be average at anything he did. So he studied, he read every book he could get his hands on about profiling and human behaviour so Hotch didn’t change his mind about hiring him. And progressively his skills were improving and he started to finally feel like a valid member of the team.
Still he was a novice in comparison to the rest of the BAU, which was why it was so odd for him to be the only one who seemed to notice that one of their own was struggling.
It made perfect sense. After what he’d been through of course he would be. But in the aftermath of the whole Scratch debacle, the youngest team members' issues seemed to get swept under the rug. But Luke noticed. Luke couldn’t help but notice.
If Luke was completely honest with himself he’d done nothing but notice Doctor Spencer Reid since the first day they met, over case files about the Crimson King. Luke was instantly enthralled by the young genius, fascinated by the way he seemed to know something about everything. And his beautiful golden eyes certainly didn’t help matters either.
He could probably attribute a lot of his newfound profiling skills to his observations of Spencer. He noted and catalogued every facial expression, every verbal and non verbal tick of the captivating man. After only a few months Luke could have written the Idiots Guide to Spencer Reid. He consumed everything pertaining to him without even really meaning to. So maybe that was why he saw through Spencer’s attempts to pretend he was just fine that everyone else seemed to buy.
They’d just finished up on a local case working with the Richmond Field Office, in which several women had been abducted over the past five years. It came to a head when Spencer and JJ were following up on a lead that landed them trapped in the unsubs underground bunker.
“Oh boy wonder!” Garcia gasped the second the elevator doors creaked open and Spencer’s frame was revealed inside the metal shaft. How long she’d been standing there, awaiting his return, was anybody's guess. “Are you ok? That must have been horrible for you.”
She’d already give JJ the once over, ensuring her friend had come out of that situation unscathed. But Spencer she was more concerned about. Being trapped in an enclosed space like that after his time in prison had to have been a living nightmare for him.
Spencer shuffled out of the elevator, avoiding eye contact with the bubbly blonde and willing to just be left alone. As soon as he was close enough, Penelope gripped him by the shoulders, trying to force him to make eye contact.
“I’m fine, seriously. Please stop fussing over me.” Spencer shook off Garcia’s attempts to coddle him.
“But after what you’ve been through…gosh it must have been so scary.” She ignored him trying to step away and threw her arms around the touch averse genius, despite him attempting to wriggle free.
“It would have been scary for anyone, Garcia.” He kept his arms at his sides while Garcia practically hugged the air from his lungs.
Luke watched on from just inside the glass double doors. He could see the discomfort in Spencer’s eyes that he kept focused on the ground, could sense the fact that the younger man just wanted to be left alone. Garcia on the other hand clearly missed these signals.
“Stop trying to act brave.” She mumbled against his shoulder.
“No one’s acting, Garcia. I’m fine. Please can we…” he raised his arms now and placed a hand on each of her biceps.
Luke continued to watch as Spencer gently guided the tech analyst off of him, peeling her away from his body and taking a few steps back from her.
Garcia’s eyes were wide with sadness as she looked at Spencer and once again, Spencer averted his gaze.
“No one would think any less of you if you were affected by this, Spence.” She whispered, Luke had to strain himself to hear her.
He noticed Spencer’s shoulder stiffen, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides while he kept up his stare off with the floor.
“Good to know.” He nodded, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth the way Luke knew he did when he was uncomfortable. “Can I use the bathroom now?”
“Oh,” Garcia nodded, stepping back from Spencer’s path. “Of course! Sorry to keep you.”
Spencer didn’t reply, simply offered her a small shake of his head before he hurried past her down the corridor.
That had been close to an hour ago now. The rest of the team had called it a night but Luke remained alone in the office. Spencer’s jacket and satchel hung on the back of his chair so he knew the younger man wouldn’t have left and Luke couldn’t bring himself to leave while Spencer was still here.
He spent the better part of a half hour trying to talk himself into checking on Spencer. He didn’t want to overstep the mark, he’d seen the way in which he’d shot Garcia down when she tried to talk to him and could only assume he would meet a similar fate. Maybe he could just let Spencer know he was here, that he could talk to him if he needed someone. Spencer would no doubt reject him, but at least Luke might be able to sleep a little easier at night knowing he’d tried.
Either way Luke knew he wasn’t going to leave before he saw Spencer, so no matter how long this internal debate went on, it was always going to end the same. So he swallowed his nerves and forced himself down to the men’s bathroom.
***
Spencer Reid was incredibly adept at compartmentalisation. It was something that came part and parcel of being an FBI Agent for so many years.
Frequently it was required to put his own feelings aside, separate the personal from the professional. He was so well versed in it, it came as second nature at this point.
But there was never more need for this skill after his release from Milburn.
When JJ had led him out of the prison gates and he’d seen Penelope standing there, eyes glossy with tears, he’d had to force back his own. He’d fallen into her arms, relishing in the feeling of being out, in the arms of one of his best friends and he’d almost crumbled.
But he couldn’t. Not yet.
His mom was still missing and if he had any chance of finding her he had to face off with Cat Adams again first. And to do that, he had to be in control of his emotions.
He pigeonholed his feelings, putting a little pin in them for the time being. If he showed Cat any sign of weakness, no matter how small, his mother was as good as dead.
And then once they found his mom alive and well, he’d almost allowed himself to succumb to all those emotions he’d bottled up in the past three months. Almost. But then he’d had to put his breakdown on hold again when Scratch kidnapped Emily.
He barely held it together during that case, one he wasn’t even supposed to be working as he wasn’t technically reinstated. Throwing books at walls and scaring the living daylights out of Garcia certainly wasn’t the signs of a healthy, well adjusted man. Luke had confronted him when he couldn’t stop pressing his palms into his eye sockets, trying to make him feel better with his talks of PTSS. And maybe it worked for a short while. It helped at the very least to get Spencer through until Emily was found.
Once she was back and safe he expected himself to crumble. But then he was mandated therapy and had to go through the whole rigmarole of being perceived to be capable enough to be reinstated. So once again his breakdown had to be put on the backburner just long enough for his therapist to deem him stable enough to return to work. And once that happened he was working back to back cases, teaching whenever he wasn’t at the BAU and his demise fell by the wayside.
He didn’t have a second to stop and let himself fragment, and maybe in part, that was intentional. Maybe he’d deliberately kept himself busy to stop himself from reliving the three months he spent in prison so as to protect himself. Because Spencer knew that once he gave in, once he allowed himself to deal with the full weight of what he’d been through, he’d never come back from it.
He didn’t exactly know why today was the day he’d spiralled. Arguably being in that bunker, trapped in a confined space once again was clearly the trigger. He knew it wouldn’t take much to push him over the ledge he’d been straddling since his arrest. And now the straw had broken the proverbial camel's back and Spencer had snapped, spiralling into the abyss he’d been narrowly avoiding since he’d been released and he was sure there would be no recovering from this.
He’d excused himself to use the bathroom but time had ceased to exist since then. He could have been gone five minutes or five days for all he knew. He’d made it into the bathroom, to the sink and the mirror hanging above it. But he hadn’t seen his own reflection staring back at him; Cat Adams was staring back at him. She smirked at him before she started laughing maniacally, chiding him about what a fucking mess she’d made of him and his life.
Oh Spencie, I really did ruin you didn’t I? You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you like this. Broken. Destroyed. I took everything from you and I loved every minute of it.
Her sick and twisted voice sounded out around him and when he blocked his ears with his hands her voice only got louder. Her laughter grew more menacing, her image swarming his brain even when he closed his eyes. He stumbled backwards from the mirror and collapsed on the floor, hands still pressed firmly against his ears and eyes screwed tightly shut, mumbling under his breath.
Go away! Leave me alone, you bitch! You don’t get to win, I won’t let you beat me!
And that was how Luke found him.
Seeing his friend on the bathroom floor, muttering and rocking and back and forth had all the makings of a psychotic break. Luke had never had to deal with someone in a situation like this. Was it similar to sleepwalking? Would it be dangerous to try and snap Spencer out of his state? It was only when he noticed the blood that his rational thinking flew out of the window and he darted to Spencer’s side.
“Reid? Oh my god, Reid are you ok?” He threw himself on the floor next to Spencer, quickly finding the source of the blood.
His knuckles were shredded and judging by the broken glass shards littered around him, Luke thought it was a pretty safe bet that Spencer had punched the mirror.
“Reid? Can you hear me, man?” He pried Spencer’s right hand away from his ear and inspected the wound. It was still bleeding but it looked as though there was thankfully no glass in his knuckles.
“Leave me alone you bitch!” Spencer screamed, banging his head back against the tiled wall. “Just leave me alone!”
“Reid, it’s Luke. Spencer? It’s just me. Can you look at me?” He used his free hand to cup Spencer’s jaw, hoping the contact would make Spencer open his eyes.
It did. But Luke almost wished he hadn’t.
Spencer’s usually animated and beautiful eyes were void of any kind of emotion. He was looking right at Luke but he could tell Spencer couldn’t see him.
“Please. I just want to forget.” He mumbled now, lip quivering.
“Spencer, who are you talking to?” Luke was pretty sure he already knew the answer to that but he asked it all the same.
Spencer’s pupils dilated before shrinking again a few times as if he was trying to adjust to the face in front of him. Blood was dripping from his knuckles onto Luke’s hand but he barely noticed.
“Spencer?” Luke tried again. “Who do you think you’re talking to?”
Spencer’s eyes glazed over and his head rolled back against the wall. When he spoke it was only one word but it haunted Luke to his core.
“C-Cat.” He mumbled and then his entire body went limp and his eyes fell closed. His body seemed to crumble but thankfully Luke’s reaction times were faster and he managed to hold his arms out for Spencer to fall into, his head crashing against Luke’s chest as opposed to the hard floor.
***
“Leave me alone you bitch!”
“Spencie, it’s only me. Spencer? It’s just me. Can you look at me?”
“Please. I just want to forget.”
“Spencie, who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”
“C-Cat.”
The next thing Spencer was conscious of was the sound of an engine idling. With his eyes closed he imagined himself behind the wheel of that truck, hauling ass through the Mexican desert in his pursuit of Lindsey Vaughn. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times as the light from an overhead street lamp flooded his retinas.
The vibrations from the vehicle rumbled through his legs and up his spine and aided in bringing him back down to earth. He felt a presence next to him and he slowly turned his head to the side. He held his breath, genuinely afraid he would meet the eyes of the woman who had ruined his life. But it wasn’t the evil hit woman he found looking back at him from the driver's seat. He breathed a sigh of relief as he met the other man’s gaze.
“Luke,” he whispered, nodding his head a little. “Hi.”
“You have no idea how good it is to hear you say my name.” Luke’s lip twitched into a smile but his eyes were sad.
“Where are we?” Spencer ignored the confusion that swelled in his brain at Luke’s words and tried to focus on something smaller.
“In my car. Outside your apartment.”
Spencer frowned, glancing away from Luke and out of the passenger’s window. He cast his eyes up at the familiar building they were parked in front of.
“Right. Ok.” He nodded but his confusion was written on his face.
It was then he noticed a pain in his right hand and he looked down to where it was cradled in his lap to see a thick bandage around his knuckles. Spencer’s head was spinning. He had so many questions that were fighting for first place that it quickly induced a throbbing in his temples.
He raised his hands to the sides of his head and dug his fingers into his skin, massaging the offending areas.
“Are you ok?” Luke sounded panic stricken all of a sudden and he reached across the centre console and placed his hand on Spencer’s knee.
“Hmm.” Spencer mumbled. “Just…a lot of things going on in my head.”
“You never let yourself deal with what happened to you in prison.” Luke removed his hand and sat back in his seat.
Spencer didn’t reply, just continued to knead his temples furiously.
“Let me help you inside.” Luke unfastened his seatbelt and opened the car door.
Spencer hadn’t moved by the time he rounded the vehicle and opened his own door. It took him a few more seconds to snap back and he lowered his hands so he could undo his seatbelt.
He swung his legs out of the car and they shook a little when he stood. He used the door to steady himself for a moment before he trusted himself to move. Luke hovered behind him as he walked, scared the man might collapse but thankfully he made it to the door. Luke followed him inside, carrying his bag and jacket he’d taken from Spencer’s desk.
He stayed close behind Spencer as he took to the stairs and watched as he fumbled a little unlocking his front door, clearly still not fully with it. It could take a while for him to come back completely. If he ever did. Luke’s main priority became making sure that didn’t happen.
Spencer let him inside and if he realised the state or his apartment, he didn’t show it. While he kicked off his converse and hung up his blazer, Luke surveyed the chaos of Spencer’s usually perfectly tidy home. He’d only ever been yhere a handful of times, mostly when Spencer was incarcerated and Luke would accompany JJ or Garcia to visit Spencer’s mom. It had struck him each time how pristine the apartment was. Everything seemed to have a place, not a single book was out of line. And right now it was barely recognisable as Spencer’s home.
He imagined the state of the apartment reflected the state of Spencer’s mind. Books had been ripped from their places on the shelves and tossed haphazardly across the room, some pages even having been torn from their spines as if Spencer had been searching for some kind of answer within those books. Dirty mugs and plates littered his desk and coffee table. A bottle of red wine had spilt and soaked into the rug next to the couch. Case files and pieces of paper were strewn around the room but Spencer didn’t seem to notice.
Luke watched him head across the room, expertly stepping over the debris in a path he’d memorised in his head. He bypassed the couch and strolled straight into his bedroom, seemingly forgetting Luke was with him.
“I’m gonna uh…put the kettle on.” Luke called after him but he received no response.
Sighing to himself, Luke carefully stepped around the destruction on route to the kitchen. He found that room in much the same state of disarray. Cupboards were left open, the sink was full to bursting with dirty dishes, coffee powder and sugar granules coated much of the counter. There were no clean mugs so after he filled the kettle and set it to boil he started on some of Spencer’s washing up.
He got about half way through the pile by the time it boiled and left the dishes to dry on the draining rack. He fixed Spencer a coffee, with slightly less sugar than the genius usually took, Luke thought he was probably on edge enough. He carried the coffee through the living room, dodging book detritus on his way.
Spencer’s bedroom door was open so Luke didn’t knock, he shuffled his way inside to find it much like the other rooms in the apartment, this one was also trashed. His bed was unmade, the sheet untucked from one corner and peeling back from the mattress while the duvet sat crumpled at the end. It seemed as though he’d emptied the entirety of his closet across his bedroom floor and items of clothing lay creased in piles all over the place.
The only thing not in Spencer’s bedroom was Spencer.
Luke placed the coffee mug on the bureau in the corner as he picked up on the sound he’d missed when he entered the room. He frowned as he looked towards the door at the far side, presumably leading to the bathroom. The shower was running. That was a good sign, right?
Wrong.
“Reid, you ok in there?” Luke shuffled towards the door that had been left cracked an inch.
Spencer didn’t reply, all that could be heard was the sound of the water from the shower head.
“Spencer? Talk to me, man.” He was right by the door now, one hand flush on the wood.
Once again he got no response. The last thing Luke wanted to do was walk in on Spencer in the shower. Well, not the last thing. It wasn’t as though Luke had never imagined sharing a shower with the eccentric and beautiful genius, it just hadn’t been under these particular circumstances. He edged the door open slightly, not daring to step in just yet, not unless he felt he had to.
“Spencer? Please answer me.” He tried again but once again he was met by silence.
He had two options. One, he waited it out, hoped that eventually Spencer would come out of the bathroom and Luke wouldn’t have to invade his privacy. Or secondly, he could go and check on Spencer only to find the man was probably just showering off a long day. But something in his gut was telling him that Spencer wasn’t simply showering. He knew what he had to do. With a sigh, Luke pushed open the bathroom door and stepped inside.
***
“I’m gonna uh…put the kettle on.”
Spencer registered Luke’s voice from the other room but he didn’t process his words. Stepping into his bedroom and once again catching the woman glaring at him from the mirror over the bureau, he was lost to his own world.
Ask me how I did it. Come on, ask me.
How did you do it?
I had Lindsey dose you in Mexico. You lost time. And I gave her very specific instructions to get you in the mood.
You’re lying. That didn’t happen.
Why would I lie to you, Spencie? I’m many things, but a liar isn’t one of them.
He spun away from the mirror, rage pulsing through every one of his veins. She had to be lying, she couldn’t have done that to him. Even by Cat’s standards that had to be too far.
But what if she wasn’t lying? He was missing such a large chunk of time from that Mexican hotel, he would probably never be able to piece together what had happened to him. Cat’s baby may not be his, but that’s not to say Lindsey hadn’t assaulted him while he’d been drugged.
No. It’s not true. Even you wouldn’t stoop so low.
I wanted to hurt you worse than you’ve been before. I’d stop at nothing to destroy you, Spencer.
“No, no. Couldn’t have happened. Wouldn’t have happened.” He started to pace, ignoring the discarded clothing on the floor.
His skin started to itch and he felt unfathomably dirty all of a sudden. He unbuttoned the cuff of his shirt and forced his sleeve up to his elbow, scratching the skin of his forearm to relieve some tension. It didn’t work. He felt like his skin was boiling, like it might melt off of his body. He wasn’t clean. If what Cat said was true he might never be clean again.
Y
“Dirty. Dirty. I’m unclean. I’m filthy.” His feet led him to the bathroom without realising where he was going.
Once in the bathroom he turned on the shower and without bothering to get undressed he climbed into the tub and sat under the flow of water. It cascaded around him, soaking through his shirt and slacks in no time at all. He pulled his legs to his chest and hugged his knees.
“Unclean. I’m so unclean.” He mumbled against the sodden fabric of his pants.
He kept muttering to himself, hoping the water would cleanse of him whatever Lindsey did or didn’t do to him in Mexico. He was so caught up in his battle with the voices in his head he forgot Luke’s presence in his apartment and didn’t hear him calling for him. He didn’t hear the door creak open or the footsteps on the linoleum floor.
When Luke pulled back the shower curtain, he covered his eyes with one hand, not wanting to deliberately see Spencer naked in the shower although at any other point in time he would be ok with that outcome. He peaked out between his fingers and found Spencer on the floor of the tub, wet clothes clinging to his frame that appeared so small and fragile as he hugged his legs tightly.
“I’m unclean.” He spoke, his voice monotone. But Luke knew it wasn’t him he was speaking to.
Luke felt his heart practically shatter in his chest. It was worse than he thought. So much worse. He wasn’t sure he could handle this on his own. But who would he call? He had to try and step up for Spencer.
“Spence, buddy. Can you hear me?”
Spencer stopped mumbling all of a sudden and his eyes shot up to Luke. For the second time that day Luke saw the lack of recognition in his friend's eyes.
“Spencer, it’s me, Luke. Luke Alvez.” He reached out and switched off the faucet and the water from the shower ceased to fall.
Spencer resembled a frightened newborn animal, thrust into the world without a clue as to where they came from. His wet hair fell in his eyes and his white shirt was all but see through. His fingers drummed against his shin and he rocked a little in the tub.
“Am I…am I clean?” He asked, bottom lip quivering ever so slightly.
“Yeah man,” Luke sniffed back his anguish. “You’re all clean. Let’s get you dried off.”
Luke had seen the tapes of the interrogation of Cat Adams after Spencer’s release. He knew what Cat had told him, that she’d had Lindsey sexually assault him while he was under the influence, and it was clear to him that’s what this had to be about.
If she really did that to him I’ll kill her with my bare hands. Both of them. If he doesn’t come back from this I’ll kill them too.
Spencer let Luke help him to his feet and out of the tub with little to no protest. He stood in the bathroom, clothes dripping all over the floor but Spencer neither noticed or cared.
Luke grabbed a towel off of the rail and turned back to Spencer who was staring at the wall, unmoving. He couldn’t let Spencer stay in these wet clothes, he had to undress him.
This is so not how I pictured this happening.
“Spencer, you with me?” Luke asked, standing in his line of sight.
Spencer didn’t speak, but he nodded his head a little.
“Ok, good. I’m gonna have to get you out of these clothes ok?”
Again Spencer simply nodded in reply.
Luke sighed as he stepped forward and brought his slightly shaking hands up to the top button of Spencer’s shirt. He started slowly popping the buttons, peeling the wet fabric away from Spencer’s skin, untucking it from his pants and finally discarding it on the edge of the bath.
His bandage on his knuckles was sodden, Luke would have to find a first aid kit and redress his wound. But one problem at a time.
He wrapped the towel around Spencer’s shoulders, keeping his eyes averted and not letting himself look at Spencer’s exposed torso for longer than necessary. He wanted to look, but it would feel like taking advantage of him. Spencer was more vulnerable than he’d ever been and Luke wasn’t abusing his trust.
Once the towel was secured around his shoulders, Spencer surprised him by raising his arms and gripping the edge of the downy fabric, keeping it tightly around himself. Luke smiled a little to himself, it was at least some kind of progress.
“Can you hear me, Spencer? I’m going to need to hear your voice.”
Spencer blinked a few times, still nodding his head. But then he opened his mouth.
“Yes.” He croaked out. “Yes I can hear you, Luke.”
Luke had never been so happy to hear his name. He offered Spencer a weak smile in return.
“Thank you.” He swallowed. “Do you think you can get your pants off while I find you some dry clothes?”
Spencer narrowed his eyes, clearly trying to process what Luke was saying. He blinked several more times in quick succession.
“Y-yes.” He nodded again. “Yes. I t-think I can do that.”
“Good. Great.” Luke encouraged him. “I’ll grab you some clothes, I’ll be right back ok?”
Spencer nodded, looking down at his lower body as Luke left the room. For some unbeknownst reason, it seemed like an impossible feat ahead of him, more like scaling Mount Everest than the simple act of undressing. Spencer found a lot recently that the usually most effortless of tasks posed themselves as some of the biggest obstacles. Cleaning dirty dishes. Doing laundry. Putting a book away. They’d become mammoth undertakings that he saw as impossible to achieve.
But Luke was here now. Luke was here and Cat wasn’t. He had to keep reminding himself of that. And Luke had asked him to do this simple task, he could do it for him.
Just focus. Unbutton the pants. Take them off. It’s not that hard.
Luke surveyed the scattered clothes on the bedroom floor, trying to spot something comfortable for Spencer to wear. He rummaged around for a while until he found an old pair of checked pyjama pants and a CalTech t-shirt. They weren’t necessarily clean, but they would have to do for now.
“Spencer?” He called through to the bathroom. “Can I come in?”
“Hmm.” Was all the response he received.
Unsure if that meant Spencer was decent or not, he cautiously entered the bathroom again. Spencer’s pants were in a pile on the floor and he dared look at the man, breathing a sigh of relief to see he had the towel wrapped around his waist. He was staring off at the wall, in some kind of trance once again.
The speed in which Spencer was slipping in and out of the world around him was terrifying. Luke really was in over his head here, he didn’t have experience with this kind of psychosis, if that’s what this was. Maybe it was just extreme exhaustion coupled with extreme trauma. Either way, Luke was not equipped to deal with whatever Spencer was going through. But he wasn’t about to stop trying.
“Can you get dressed?” He proffered the clothes towards Spencer but the other man didn’t move.
With a sigh Luke moved closer to him, and when Spencer didn’t show any signs of noticing him, he slipped the shirt over his head. Spencer’s limbs were like a rag doll as Luke worked on getting his arms in the sleeves and Spencer did nothing to help. He smoothed it down so it was covering Spencer’s torso and tried to not dwell on how fucking weird this was.
Getting his pants on was going to be a little more difficult. And potentially awkward. Luke kneeled down in front of Spencer, wrapping his hand gently around Spencer’s left ankle and guiding it into one leg of the pants. He repeated the movement with the other leg, all the while Spencer stood frozen.
Standing up and taking the sides of the pants, he pulled them up with him, over Spencer’s calves and thighs until he reached the towel. Luke looked up at the ceiling as he pulled the garment up under the towel, trying to save as much of Spencer’s dignity as he could. Once he had them secured around Spencer’s hips, he got rid of the towel for the younger man.
“Do you have a first aid kit?” Luke looked at the sopping bandage.
Spencer’s eyes dilated like they had earlier before shrinking again, like he was trying to focus on something but Luke wasn’t sure what. He didn’t get any other kind of communication from him. Luke sighed to himself and looked around the bathroom. He kept his own first aid kit in a cupboard over the sink. Spencer didn’t have a cupboard over the sink. But there was one under it.
He moved across the room and crouched down to open the cupboard. To his relief the little kit he was looking for was tucked away inside. He pulled it out and found a bandage inside. He brought it back over to Spencer and the other man didn’t show any signs of registering Luke raising his right hand and carefully unwrapping the wet bandage.
His knuckles were caked in dried blood so without saying anything he guided Spencer to the sink and turned on the faucet. He held Spencer’s hand under the flow of water, gently brushing the blood from his skin with his thumb. Once his hand was clean he used a towel to dab his hand dry before reapplying the new bandage. The whole time Spencer didn’t look at him, didn’t move.
He secured the bandage and looked back up to meet Spencer’s eye which was harder than it should have been.
“When was the last time you ate?” Luke asked him softly.
Once again Spencer was looking at him but his gaze went through him. He shrugged his shoulders.
“Are you hungry?” He tried again and was met by a shake of Spencer’s head.
“Tired?”
This time Spencer nodded.
“Ok, I can put you to bed?”
Again Spencer nodded, but he didn’t move. Luke had to try and pretend this whole situation wasn’t entirely breaking his heart. He had to keep his emotions at bay, tell himself this wasn’t killing him to see Spencer like this otherwise he wouldn’t be able to get through this. And Spencer needed him to be strong right now.
He wrapped an arm around Spencer’s waist and Spencer seemed to deflate in an instant. His body crumpled against Luke’s, his entire weight being held up solely by Luke’s strong arms. Luke slowly started towards the bed, Spencer’s feet dragging along the floor like he physically didn’t have the energy left to lift his legs.
Luke guided him onto the bed and when he let go of the younger man, he caved in on himself, flopping to the mattress where Luke had set him down. With a heavy heart, he took Spencer’s feet and swung them up onto the bed. He located the duvet, briefly noting the coffee he’d made on the bureau and making a mental note to clear it away, before draping the sheet over Spencer still form.
He was curled on his side, eyes still open, staring straight ahead at the opposite wall. Luke couldn’t help but crouch next to the bed and stroke Spencer’s wet hair back off of his face. When he went to pull away he was startled by Spencer grabbing his wrist.
His long, slender fingers wrapped around him, his eyes suddenly staring right at him. He looked as if he had so much to say but didn’t know how to voice it. Luke tried to encourage him without the use of words. This time there was no doubt in his mind as to whether or not Spencer recognised him. It was the clearest he’d looked at Luke since he’d found him in the bathroom at the BAU. Spencer knew who he was. A little piece of him was coming back.
“Are you leaving?” Spencer’s voice sounded hollow, distant and so unlike himself.
“I was going to let you get some rest. But I can come back tomorrow if you’d like?” Luke’s hand was still on Spencer’s forehead, being held in place by Spencer’s grip on his wrist.
“Don’t leave me alone.” He whispered. “Don’t leave me alone with her.”
Luke wasn’t sure if the her he referred to was Cat or Lindsey but it didn’t particularly matter. There was no way on earth Luke was going to let Spencer be alone if he didn’t want to be. He was going to be here for as long as Spencer needed or wanted him to be.
Spencer let go of Luke’s wrist as if testing the waters to see if he would leave. Luke stroked back the rest of his hair and smiled softly at the terrified looking man in front of him.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He assured him. “Get some rest, I’ll be right out there.” He nodded his head towards the door, but Spencer was shaking his head.
“No.” He whimpered. “No, she can still get to me when you’re gone.”
Luke felt a sharp pang in his chest, his heart breaking even further at the sad, pathetic tone in Spencer’s voice.
“What would you like me to do, Spencer? I’ll do anything you need me to.”
Spencer rolled his bottom lip between his teeth as though contemplating this for a moment or two. Then he heaved a pent up sigh and slowly rolled over a little, patting the now free space on the mattress with his bandaged hand.
“Lay with me?” He sniffed, and that’s when Luke noticed the tears behind his eyes. “Please. Please don’t go.”
It was hard to say exactly how many pieces Luke’s heart was shattered into at this point. Every bone in his body, every muscle, ached for the torment that must be going on in Spencer’s head.
“Ok. I can do that.” Luke gave him a slightly shaky smile.
When he stood back up, Spencer whined a little but Luke offered him a look to tell him he wasn’t leaving. He shrugged off his jacket and toed off his boots before lowering himself to the bed in the small space Spencer had created for him. He swung his legs up, settling his head back against the pillow.
As soon as he was settled Spencer quickly shuffled as close as was physically possible to Luke, his head coming to rest on Luke’s chest, nuzzling himself into Luke’s side.
An ear piercing sob wracked Spencer’s whole body and he buried his head into the fabric of Luke’s t-shirt. Luke wrapped Spencer in his arms, pulling him impossibly closer. He ran his fingers through Spencer’s wet and tangled hair and held him while he sobbed, imagining they were the first tears he’d let escape since his release. He clutched Luke’s shirt, balling the material up in his hand furiously.
“It’s ok cariño, I’m here. It’s ok.” He cooed, rocking Spencer slightly.
“Will it ever get better? Will she ever leave?” Spencer’s muffled sobs were hard to make out but Luke got the gist of it.
“I promise you it will get better. If it’s the last thing I do, I will help you through this, Spencer.”
Spencer became incoherent after that, crying and mumbling into Luke’s chest while Luke held him and tried to provide a little semblance of comfort to the man who needed it so much.
Hours seemed to pass and at one point Luke worried he may never stop crying. But eventually he wore himself out, or ran out of tears or maybe even both. His breathing started to calm, evening out slowly until his body went limp in Luke’s arms.
Luke didn’t expect Spencer would have a peaceful night's sleep, but it just might be restful enough for him to garner the energy to fight his demons another day.
***
Spencer’s eyes fluttered and he grumbled at the slight dull ache in the back of his head. He was used to waking up with a headache, that was a side effect of all the pent up emotions and thoughts he refused to let win.
But today was different. It wasn’t the typical excruciating pain he was used to waking up with, the kind no amount of Advil could tame. It was just a dull throb, relatively minor. He could definitely deal with that.
It took him a moment or two to realise that his pillow beneath his head was significantly harder than he remembered it being. He forced his eyes open, rubbed them with one hand and blinked a few times.
He shuffled a little, trying to find a comfortable spot but it was like his pillow had been replaced by…
“Morning, Reid.”
Spencer swallowed thickly as his eyes looked up into those of Luke Alvez. The pillow beneath his head, not a pillow at all, but Luke’s rock hard chest.
It was then Spencer realised his right leg was draped over Luke’s and his arm was wrapped around Luke’s waist.
Luke’s cheeks were flushed red as he looked down at the younger man using him as a life sized stuffed animal. Spencer blinked a few more times, trying to remember how he’d ended up here, in the arms of the one man he’d always wanted to find in his bed.
“Uh…hi?” Spencer croaked, his confusion written all over his face. He didn’t move though, he wasn’t sure why other than the fact being in Luke’s arms was warm and he felt safe. “Did I drink last night?”
“No.” Luke chuckled sadly, bringing his hand up to Spencer’s face and brushing back his unruly curls from his forehead. “You don’t remember?”
“No.” Spencer swallowed again. “I think that…maybe it’s best that I don’t. At least right now anyway.”
“Why’s that?” Luke kept stroking his hair and Spencer adored the way it felt.
“Because,” Spencer smiled a little, the tiniest movement of his lip but it was more than Luke had seen in a long time. “For the first time since I left prison, I feel light. And I don’t want that to go away just yet.”
“Fair enough.” Luke smiled back at him, fingertips grazing down from his forehead, down his cheek and jaw until he let it fall to his side. “We will have to talk about it though.”
“I know.” Spencer nodded, dreading what he could have gotten himself into to end up here. “But for now, can we just stay like this? Just a little longer?”
“Of course we can.” Luke agreed.
Spencer settled back onto Luke’s chest and Luke held him tightly. Spencer didn’t know how he’d ended up here but it was the best thing that could have happened to him. For the first time in months, Spencer Reid felt safe. He felt calm, like just for a moment his demons were silenced by the strong arms of Luke. It wouldn’t last, he was sure of it, but that didn’t matter right now. All that he cared about in that moment was how unburdened he felt for the first time since Mexico, since Cat Adams and Lindsey Vaughn. Maybe even for the first time ever.
Chances were it would pass, like most good things in his life. But for now Spencer was going to relish in the peace and quiet for as long as it lasted. Here in Luke’s arms he was safe from harm, protected from the wicked clutches of Cat Adams and all the other evils of the world. Luke Alvez was Spencer’s guardian angel, that he was sure of.
The two men laid in silence for some time, Luke’s hand languidly stroking Spencer’s hair while Spencer concentrated on the rhythmic beating of Luke’s heart.
Eventually, a sigh escaped Luke’s lips and his hand stilled on the back of Spencer’s neck.
“You know you need to get help right? The professional kind.” He spoke in hushed tones, not wanting to startle the younger man.
“Yeah I know.” Spencer’s voice trembled. “But Luke?” Spencer shifted in his arms so he could look up at Luke through watery eyes.
“Yes, Spencer?”
“I don’t know if I can…if I can do it alone.” He swallowed thickly, his eyes pleading Luke to never leave him.
Luke smiled at him and couldn’t stop himself when he bowed his head and placed a tender kiss on Spencer’s forehead.
He’d known from the moment he met Spencer that he’d do just about anything for this man. That had never changed, he’d never wavered from his belief that he would protect this creature with his life. If anything, at that moment, he was even more sure of that fact. If Spencer Reid needed him, he could have him, in any capacity.
Spencer’s lips twitched into a smile at the sensation of Luke’s lips pressing against his fragile skin. When Luke pulled away, he saw a light behind Spencer’s eyes he hadn’t seen since before his arrest.
He had a long way to go, huge mountains left to climb. But he’d take it one day at a time, and Luke would be there for him every painful step of the way.
“You’ll never be alone, Spencer.” He whispered, cupping the other man’s jaw lightly in his palm. “I promise you, you’ll never be alone again.”
Spencer’s tears overflowed at the sentiment as he nodded his head in understanding. He had a long, dark road ahead of him, but as long as Luke Alvez was the light guiding his way, the shadows lining his path didn’t seem quite as formidable as they did yesterday.
Taglist
@andiebeaword @muffin-cup @takeyourleap-of-faith @thebloomingeagle @dirtytissuebox @smurphyse @ssa-uglywhore27 @reidselle @reidsbookclub @drayshadow @dreatine
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#luke alvez#ralvez#ralvez fanfic#ralvez fanfiction#spencer reid x luke alvez#spencer reid angst#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic
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Patience & Hope
Summary: Spencer and Luke learn what being a family really means
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Luke Alvez
Category: Hurt/Comfort
Request by @sassymoon: established relationship, having an argument, mental health issues, adopting a pet
Content Warnings: Post-Prison Spencer, implied/referenced mental health issues (Spencer), crying, mentions of not wanting children
Word count: 1.8
Masterlist
Seeing his boyfriend around his godsons always made Luke's heart jump, a warmth spreading through his chest whenever Michael or Henry broke out in giggles at Spencer's goofiness.
Those moments seemed to be so rare - Spencer smiling and laughing as if he didn't still carry all the weight prison left on his shoulders. More than anything, Luke wished for a life where he could see his partner being that happy every day.
It was hard not letting his mind wander to a fantasy of seeing Spencer with children of their own. It was something Luke had thought about countless times but managed to keep it in.
Until that day.
On their way home from JJ's house, Luke couldn't hold back any longer. He averted his eyes from the road to find the warm amber of Spencer's irises.
"You'd be such a great dad," Luke cooed.
To his surprise, Spencer didn't respond, instead he showed him a shy smile before turning his head to look out of the window of the passenger seat. A knot built in Luke's stomach at the realization that it had not been the right moment to bring up this topic.
It was still too early in their relationship to have talked about the future a lot. Even though Spencer had never explicitly told him about wanting children, Luke had always assumed that he would want to be a father one day.
Neither of them dared to speak for the rest of the car ride. It wasn't unlike Spencer to shut down when he was scared to say the wrong thing and it wasn't unlike Luke to hold back so he wouldn't scare his boyfriend away.
They had both worked hard to carefully take down Spencer's walls when they started dating but things were still so fragile.
Luke watched Spencer as he sat down on the couch and nervously fidgeted with his fingers. He found his place beside the other man and carefully brushed over the back of his hand, a sigh of relief escaping Luke's throat when Spencer opened his palm to welcome his boyfriend's touch. With fingers intertwined and concern still visible on both of their faces, they found each other's eyes to talk about the inevitable.
"I'm sorry," Luke mumbled when the silence between the two of them became unbearable for him. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"I'm not uncomfortable," Spencer clarified. "I'm nervous."
Luke gently squeezed his hand to encourage him to keep on talking. "Why are you nervous?"
"Because–" Spencer paused to avert his eyes from Luke, staring at the floor instead.
With a tender motion Luke touched his partner's jaw to turn his head again until they locked eyes once more.
"Please talk to me, Spencer," he pleaded.
The glistening in his eyes revealed that Spencer wasn't just nervous about voicing his thoughts, he was terrified.
"I don't want to have kids and I'm scared you're gonna leave me for someone who does."
Spencer's voice broke at the last syllable as sobs started wrecking through his body. Luke was quick to wrap his arms around his boyfriend, pressing their chests together to keep him close to his heart – exactly where he belonged.
Spencer became so small inside Luke's arms, his limbs bent and folded to the point where it was impossible to recognize the grown man he was. Right then Luke wasn't comforting his boyfriend, no. He was holding a scared little boy, longing for someone to stay and protect him from the chaos of the world.
He placed a soft kiss into Spencer's unruly curls before whispering, "I won't leave you. I promise," over and over again until he was sure that his boyfriend had heard him.
After a few moments Luke heard his boyfriend mumble something into the fabric of his shirt. It was inaudible, so he tried to lean back to be able to hear Spencer's words. The man in his arms didn't let him, though, and held onto his body tightly to hinder him from moving away.
"It's okay, I won't go anywhere," Luke spoke softly. "I just couldn't understand what you were saying."
"I don't want to be the reason you won't have a family," Spencer muttered as he dared to lean back.
With eyes rimmed red Spencer looked at his boyfriend, still convinced that this conversation could be the end of what they were. Luke, however, still radiated the same warmth and comfort he did anytime he came to visit in prison.
It had been him who gave Spencer hope to make it out of his cage alive. He was adamant in showing his love and didn't plan to stop doing that anytime soon.
"Spencer, I have found all the family I need with you. I'm perfectly happy to spend my future with just you. We don't need kids to be complete."
Luke's fingers made contact with his boyfriend's cheeks, carefully wiping away the tears from his face while whispering, "I love you."
It had been Luke who showed him that there were still so many reasons to keep holding on after he got out of prison – the sweetness of his lips being one of them.
It was a surprising move but Luke welcomed the feeling of Spencer's lips against his nonetheless.
There was no need for words to be spoken, this kiss expressed everything Spencer wanted Luke to know.
Thank you for finding me.
Thank you for staying with me.
Thank you for understanding me.
"I love you," he decided to say out loud.
The two men found comfort in their new-found realization that they didn't need to expand their family to be complete. Their bond only grew stronger over the next few weeks. Getting this conversation out of the way helped Spencer open up more, finally able to fully show his boyfriend the extent of his love.
They were wrapped inside each other's arms on the couch in Spencer's apartment when a loud knock disturbed their lazy Sunday afternoon.
"Are you expecting anyone?" Luke wondered as the other man got up from his place beside him.
"No I–," he was interrupted by another, more urgent sounding knock against his door.
He found a wide-eyed Penelope standing in his hallway, a small ball of fur pressed against her chest. She walked in before Spencer had the chance to invite her.
"I'm so sorry to interrupt you boys but this is an emergency!" She exclaimed while Luke got up from the couch as well.
The small ball of fur started moving, ears and eyes sticking out from Penelope's arms to reveal she was holding a kitten.
"I found her beside a dumpster, all freezing and scared. I wanted to take her in but Sergio apparently hates company and kept hissing at her. She's so scared and needs a safe place to stay!" She explained without taking a breath between her words.
The two men locked eyes with raised eyebrows and mouths agape.
Spencer turned his head to face Penelope again, voicing his concerns, "I'm not sure I can take care of a cat. Besides, Luke has a dog and they probably wouldn't get along."
"Actually, Roxy is very fond of kittens," Luke chimed in.
Spencer thought about it for a moment. It had taken him months to get used to the presence of Luke's dog, it didn't seem rational to make room for another pet in his life.
He laid eyes on the kitten in his friend's arms. It was tiny and fragile and so, so scared.
"I already gave her a bath and made sure she doesn't have any fleas," Penelope said. "Look at her! She just needs some love."
"And food, a littler box, toys, a scratcher, vet visits…," Spencer added.
"Spencer, just look at her," Luke suggested, his large puppy eyes not unlike his dog's whenever she wanted something.
Just when Luke wanted to reach out his hand to make contact with the tiny creature, the kitten started to squirm until she escaped Penelope's arms to jump onto the floor instead. After looking around for a split second, she ran into Spencer's bedroom to hide under the bed.
All of them followed the kitten, crouching down in front of the bed to take a look at the scared ball of fur. After several failed attempts to get her to come out, Penelope got up from the floor and concluded, "Looks like she wants to stay here."
Spencer had no interest in scaring the poor thing even more by forcefully getting her out from her hiding spot. He slowly warmed up to the thought of sharing his place with a cat.
"Okay."
Luke showed him a wide smile and excitedly exclaimed, "Okay?! Does this mean she can stay?"
"Yes, she can stay," Spencer confirmed.
Penelope was relieved to have found a home for the rescued kitten and promised the men to come by later to bring them cat food and other essentials to make the new roommate as comfortable as possible.
Spencer sat on the floor of his bedroom, his back leaning against the wall while he watched his partner laying on his stomach, trying to reach under the bed to get the cat to come out.
"Maybe you should give her some space," Spencer suggested.
Luke sighed defeatedly and shifted his position to sit beside his boyfriend.
"Yeah, you're right."
"We just need to stay here and wait. She probably needs some time to get used to our presence. She needs to be sure that we won't hurt her and she can trust us. That'll take some time but I'm sure she will eventually. We just have to be patient," Spencer let him know.
The men locked eyes before Luke confirmed, "Okay. I can do that."
"I know."
Spencer let his fingertips dance over the other man's palm before their fingers interlaced. They were both aware of the parallels of this situation to the beginning of their relationship.
In fact, Luke had often thought that Spencer resembled a scared animal when he was released from prison. He was desperate for someone to show him love and take care of him but had trouble not to let his claws show when someone got too close, terrified that he could get hurt again.
Luke softly smiled at Spencer, whispering, "It will be worth the wait."
They sat in comfortable silence as many moments passed. Just when they considered going back to the living room, they noticed some movement under the bed.
Slowly and carefully the furry creature showed herself, step by step coming out from under the bed. She was hesitant but eventually decided to move closer to the men sitting on the floor. Both of them tried not to move while intently watching the kitten.
After careful consideration the cat decided to sit down right next to Spencer's thigh, rubbing her face against the fabric of his pants.
Spencer turned his head to look at Luke, whispering, "I think I want to call her Hope."
Thank you so much for reading! Your comments mean the world to me and feedback helps me stay motivated to come up with more stories. Let me know what you think!
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#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x luke alvez#ralvez#ralvez fanfiction#ralvez fanfic#luke alvez#luke alvez fanfic#luke alvez fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fluff
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🌈CM Pride Challenge🏳️⚧️
Hey everyone, I’m back with another monthly challenge! For the months of May AND June, I am formally challenging any willing writer to take a stab at writing fanfiction including LGBTQA+ PRIDE using their choice of Criminal Minds characters! Reader, Original Character, Character/Character ships, Gen/Platonic fics are allowed!Please check out the Rules below the Keep Reading.
There are a LOT of prompts below the cut, so keep going!
(**This is NOT a request list for me—this is a prompt list of other writers! Feel free to request from someone else, and be sure to let them know about the challenge!)
General Prompts 🏳️🌈
Coming out is so much harder the second time
Describe Character’s first kiss with the same gender
Describe Character(s) spending a day at a Pride parade
The team realizes that A&B were more than roommates
Penelope goes a little overboard on rainbow decorations at Characters’ wedding
Character's marriage mutually comes to an end when they come out... now what?
Character comes out at the same time they announce their new relationship to the team
Character A fears it’s too late for them to live authentically, and B assures them that’s not true
Character A gifts B something colored like their pride flag because “the colors reminded me of you”
Child realizes that not every kid has two moms/two dads and they have a lot of questions about it
Queer characters have a hard time deciding what their child should call them and come up with fun ideas
Character A goes to a LGBT bar with B as a wingperson (or maybe they want them, themselves?)
Anything else you can think of!
More prompts (transgender, assorted, dialogue) below!
Transgender Prompts 🏳️⚧️
Character A helps B get their first tailored dress/suit
Character A helps B shave and/or put on makeup
The couple is looking for gender neutral nicknames
Character A buys B specialty gender affirming lingerie
Character is casually referred to with an appropriately gendered nickname for the first time
Characters are renewing their vows and redoing their wedding photos following a coming out
Character A walks in on B wearing a new gender-affirming outfit and surprises them with an enthusiastic compliment
The team throws Character an impromptu first birthday party following their coming out (how did they get a banner so fast?!)
Character A buys B a gender affirming but stereotypical gift (sports jersey, neon pink purse, etc.) that they would otherwise hate (but find absolutely hilarious)
Specific Prompts 💝
[Bisexual] Character gets irritated when people reduce their sexuality to their current partner
[Bisexual] Character A is in a M/F relationship with B and worries that their queer identity will become invisible dating them
[Asexual] Characters explore different forms of non-sexual intimacy
[Asexual] Characters are both asexual but too nervous to tell one another. They awkwardly attempt to have sex but end up laughing at how ridiculous they feel.
Dialogue Prompts 💐
“Are they… flirting?” “Big time.”
“I got to fall in love with you twice.”
“To be seen is to be loved." "I see you.”
“Be gay, do crimes.” “Aren’t you a cop?”
“There is no heterosexual explanation for that.”
“Life is very different once you find your people.”
“Cardinals and hydrangeas can change. Why not you?”
“You're still the person I love. Nothing will change that.”
“We both wear pants. Makes it easier to kick your ass.”
“It’s never felt like this before. I've never felt like this before.”
“I guess it makes sense now why it never worked out with my exes.”
Am I allowed to look at her like that? Could it be wrong when she's just so nice to look at? ("She" by Dodie)
“You can kiss a hundred boys in bars, shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling ... Well, good luck, babe. You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.” ("Good Luck, Babe!" by Chappell Roan)
Rules ❤️🧡💚💙💜🖤🤎
The fic can be a Reader insert, an Original Character, a character/character ship, a platonic ship, or a Gen fic. It can feature any Criminal Minds character. AUs and crossovers are more than welcome.
Tag me in the fic, or send the link to me in a Direct Message. It can be already written, or you can write it for the challenge - I’m collecting both! You can also tag it “#mentioningmargins” which is a tag I track.
The fic can be any genre, but ONLY send me smut if your bio states you are 18+. I DO NOT WANT smut written by minors. Ever. At all. I will check.Platonic ships and pure, fluffy fics are 100% allowed.
Please include Content Warnings and a one-sentence Summary of the fic in your post.
Have fun!
The Masterlist of fics will be posted around June 30. If you finish after that, no problem - just send me the fic once you’re done and I’ll add it after-the-fact!
Feel free to message me if you want help developing a plot, have any questions, or just want to gush about your fic. I’m happy to help, and I’m happy you’re here ❤️
🌈Happy writing! 🏳️⚧️
#criminal minds challenge#criminal minds#cm writing challenge#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#jennifer jareau#emily prentiss#tara lewis#jemily#temily#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#moreid#hotchreid#heid#hotchgan#spencer reid smut#criminal minds smut#criminal minds fanfiction#david rossi#jason gideon#luke alvez#ralvez#cm pride
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i would like to be loved like a fanfic or fucked like a fanfic but i will take both please and thank you
#fanfic#spencer reid x reader#bucky barnes x reader#druig x reader#matt murdock x reader#ralvez x reader#luke alvez x reader
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really wanna read some silly ralvez fanfic or smth where like an unsub is stalking and targeting the team, and he decides to go after Luke (and Spencer).
so the unsub just tells the team like "hey i kidnapped the person you love the most," and Luke thinks its probably his gf so the team go check her place for whatever reason (I've watched CM sm yet i somehow dont know what they do sometimes).
then they get there and the gf is.. fine? shes js chilling at home so the team is like "???"
then they start thinking of who the hell the unsub took, cuz hes been stalking the team so he should know abt Lukes gf.
then somehow they figured out they took Spencer (lets say he has time off and thats why hes not with the team) and then the teams even more "????"
blah blah story story idk what happens after byt basically..
unsub: "So.. this guy, he isn't your boyfriend??"
Luke: "No? I have a girlfriend.. yk, the one i live with?"
Unsub: "What? I thought that was your roommate.."
Luke: "???"
IDK I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS AT 3AM AND ITS SO SILLY TO ME 😭 someone for the love of god write something like this idc how short or long it is.
#someone please write this#ralvez#spencer reid x luke alvez#spencer reid#luke alvez#fanfic ideas#criminal minds#criminal minds imagines#criminal minds incorrect quotes
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Spencer Reid. genius. agent. convict. addict.
TW: Suicidal thoughts, discussion of weight gain, SH and SA
Ralvez, angst-comfort, post reid-jail arc
(I am aware that the SA from Lindsay was a lie told by Cat, but Spencer could vividly remember it, so I'm going to mention it like it happened)
Everyone cared about Spencer when he left jail, but nobody cared like he needed them too. When he finally left his mother at the nursing home, Spencer realised he was empty. He walked into his apartment and crumpled to the ground, the man he once was was gone. Stolen. Cat Adams had taken the know-it-all, bright, childlike prodigy, and turned him into a mentally ill, burned out convict. He could never be the same, and they killed him.
Lying on the floor of his apartment, Spencer contemplated the worst. If he killed himself, Emily risked her career for nothing, everyone spent hours trying to prove his innocence for nothing. But it hurt. The distant memory of her hands on his skin, his voice in his ears. It didn't matter whether it really happened, he could remember it like it was yesterday. The comforting memory of Maeve's voice was corrupted. He had nothing and nobody that really knew his pain. Suicide sounded like a release from whatever hell he was in.
Spencer knew it was wrong to consider it, his team cared about him. He knew Penelope would crumple, he knew JJ would forever be damaged. He knew what he wanted was implausible if he cared about his friends and his mother, but a small part of him, hidden deep within his bones, doesn't really care. Every cut he made on his wrists, on his thighs, brought him closer to and closer to considering it. A cut for abandoning his mother, a cut for not finding a way to help her, a cut for causing Emily so much stress, a cut for Garcia almost quitting her job, a cut for Luke, a cut for Tara, a cut for a cut for JJ. He knew, he was a genius after all, that if it continued,they would notice, but maybe he wanted them to notice. Maybe it would be better for them to see the cuts then to see his dead body. Maybe they could help. But he didnt want to put them through that.
His apartment is cold. Empty of life and personality. His books, his chess board, his photos, felt like somebody else's. A knock on the door woke him from his nightmarish thoughts.
"Reid? Are you in there?"
Luke. Why would Luke be there?
"...yeah, I'm in here."
"Can I come in?"
"...ok"
The doorknob turned as Spencer forced himself to get up off the floor.
"...Reid. Are you ok?"
He was not. Spencer came face-to-face with Luke in his doorway.
"....um.....i dont think so"
It was unlike 'boy-genius Spencer Reid' to honest about his feelings, but he was no longer 'boy genius Spencer Reid', he was 'felon, recovered addict Spencer Reid', and this Spencer Reid had lost his dignity, and his sense of self-preservation.
"I know"
Luke took and step closer to Reid, shutting the front door behind him, like cornering an injured bird who got into your house; it was too terrified to understand your intentions.
"Spencer. Can I hug you?"
Genius Spencer Reid was not expecting that. He was expecting a soppy speech, about how the BAU cares about him, and that he is still a good person, and bla bla bla. But not that. Something deep within him screamed, begged for him to say no, but for once, Spencer Reid, the genius, didnt listen"
".....please"
Taking a few steps forward, Luke took the Spencer into his arms. The hug was close, warm, almost intimate. Luke noticed how different Spencer changed to how is old photos looked. He filled out his tall frame, still slim, but he seemed at a healthier weight. His hair was curlier and completely wild. His eyes, sunken and sick, but still enchanting.
".......Thank you, Luke"
Spencer murmured into the Luke's shoulder. Luke's strong arms were wrapped around him, his face rested in the crook of Spencer's shoulder. The intimacy of the hug, how it felt like hugging a lover rather than a friend, should have made boy-genius Spencer squirm, but this was not boy-genius Spencer, this was burn-out, adult Spencer, and this was what he really needed. He could have a gotten a hug from JJ, or Emily, or definitely Penelope, but this hug had a whole different meaning to theirs.
"please tell me whats wrong. And don't tell me what you told Emily, or Penelope, or any other member of the BAU, because I know it's not true, I know you need to protect them, but you don't need to protect me. Tell me everything"
Luke whispered into Spencer's ear, his voice empathetic but strong. A tear left Spencer's eye at the thought of letting it all out, having somebody finally know without them freaking out. He needed to care for himself and not others, he knew that, and Luke was the one to let him do that. He was so thankful it was Luke at the door and not anybody else, he needed Luke.
"ok"
#criminal minds#spencer reid#ralvez#luke alvez#emily prentiss#angst#angst comfort#tw: sucidal thoughts#tw s/a#fanfic
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Pretty Boy
Summary: Derek dies on a case. Luke has big shoes to fill up.
Words count: 5.8k
Trigger warnings: death, grief, trauma, slightly bullying. angst and fluff.
note: it's my first text since like high school and it was YEARS ago. Also it's my first time ever writing in english. If you found this and read this, please give me some feedback. Enjoy xx
~*~
There’s weight on his shoulder. There’s weight on his chest. There’s nothing on his mind.
Derek Morgan was supposed to get married this week next year. Derek Morgan is being buried today.
Spencer can’t force himself to look to his right. Can’t see his best friend’s fiancée. Can’t see his mother and sisters. He puts heavy, shiny, black coffin down and automatically bows his head, blinking so the tears messing up his view would go away. He takes a step back to line with Aaron, David and Will before returning to the crowd. Everyone at the scene is in tearful disbelief. Reid blankly watches as the coffin disappears in the ground. He feels Penelope holding his arm, crying on his shoulder. He feels tears on his own cheek, hears the priest talking and Savannah sobbing. He sees, feels and hears everything and he knows it’s gonna stay with him forever. He won’t be blessed with a sweet relief of the memories fading with time, like every other person around him will be in a few years. He is aware of the fact that 20 years from now he will be able to repeat every word that was said that day. He won’t forget the incenses smell, the ring of bells, the crying. He won’t forget Derek’s nephews heartbroken eyes. He won’t forget the fiancée, in all black, holding his mamma’s hand as they cry quietly, mourning the husband-to-be and an amazing son. Most importantly, he will vividly remember his best friend, a black suit covering the bullet hole in his chest, laying in a silk coffin pillows, dead from a shot that was not meant for him.
He shaked his head like a wet dog, when he walked out of the elevator. It’s been 7 weeks since Derek’s funeral. His first time back to work since the fatal case they were sent to. First time he won’t be blessed with “good morning pretty boy” and a cup of black coffee.
Reid walked through the door of the BAU bullpen, when he noticed someone new. Even though he was aware of the fact they will need another agent on the team, he was taken by surprise with his arrival.
- Spencer! – JJ smiled weakly, looking at him with worry – I missed you – he’s opening up his arms then closing her in a tight hug, eyes focused on the back of the head of a man sitting at a desk. The same desk that used to be Derek’s before he got his own office. The one next to Spencer’s. Even if he didn’t use it in over a year now, this desk was always Derek’s. No one got it after him. No one, until now.
- I missed you too – he finally said back, letting her out of his arms, forcing a smile to hide the thunderstorm of feelings in his head and heart – who’s that?
- That’s Luke Alvez. He is… - she started, glancing back at the new guy of the team.
- He’s Derek’s replacement – Reid finished before she could find better, less harsh words – it’s… it’s okey. We could see that coming.
He was right. He knew they were going to get a new member of the team. He was aware of the need for it. But expecting something to happen and witnessing it are two different things.
- Hi – he murmed not even looking at the new guy as he put his go-to bag under his desk. Instead of him, he looked at the desk. When Derek had it, it was covered in files, sports magazines, empty paper cups and protein bars wrappers. Right now there were two file case neatly put on the side, a small photo frame of a dog – Belgian Shepard if he wasn’t mistaken – and a big, military camo-themed cup of hot coffee.
- Hi! You must be Spencer, doctor Reid. Right? – Big brown eyes were fully focused on him, checking him out not so discretly. Spencer couldn’t help but compare them to his late best friends' eyes.
- Yep. Yes, that’s me. And you are…?
- Luke. Luke Alvez. I joined the team last week. – he explained as Spencer took his seat. He only nodded, getting used to the fact, that there is someone new around. New member of the team. New member of his family. He wasn’t entirely sure if he likes that idea.
- The coffee shop next to bureau is way better than ours coffee machine one – he offered, not wanting to start the relation badly.
- I went there once and didn’t like it, was too strong. This one is no better, but free. I prefer going to Joe’s caffee but the one next to my place was closed last week.
Spencer nodded, putting a weak smile as a reply before focusing on the paperwork he was behind with. No matter how hard he tried, all he could think was they replaced Derek.
- I hate to say it, but we have a case – Hotch’s voice brought him back from his thoughts. He looked up at the unit chief and walked to the conference room without a word.
Derek’s gone. He has to accept that. The least he can do now is focus on the lives he actually can save.
- We can tell the unsub has a specific type – JJ said, looking through the four pictures of the victims. All male, white, skinny, dark blond or light brown curly hair.
- Yes, no doubt. Pretty boys in their 20s and 30s, kinda like Spencer.
Luke could feel everyone freeze in their places, looking discretly at the two of them.
- What? – He looked around not understanding why his comment was met with such a strange reaction.
- Don’t ever call me pretty boy again – Spencer’s voice, not louder than the whisper, was undeniably full of sadness. Alvez couldn’t see his eyes, hidden behind the curtain of soft looking curls. Reid seemed like focused on the files in front of him, but something told him, that it wasn’t the case interest making him do that.
- Okey… Okey, I’m sorry – Luke nodded, looking around as people were checking on Spencer before moving on, leaving Luke with even more questions.
It took them six days and one more victim to catch the unsub. Spencer was thankful to be able to go back home right after they finished, not waiting for the next morning. He curled on his seat, covered in dark brown, fluffy blanket and dozed off when he noticed someone sitting across the small table. He opened his eyes, looking at Alvez.
- Sorry, didn’t want to wake you – he said quietly – just can’t keep listening to David talking about Italian food. Makes me even hungrier.
- Alright – Spencer nodded slightly before fixing the blanket – you should get used to it tho.
- He does that…
- Nearly every time. It’s either food or old cars or Vietnam war – he forced himself to smile weakly, remembering the time David joined them and the constant bets with Derek, loosing way too much money on it.
- You were close with him, weren’t you? – quiet voice brought him back from the thought train.
Realizing he’s staring at the empty place, usually taken by Morgan, he looked back at the new companion.
- With agent Morgan. JJ told me – Luke explained, looking at him like he was a wounded animal.
Maybe – Spencer thought - that’s what he was.
- Yes – he confirmed, checking up the empty seat once again, before lowering the sight on the book on the table – he was my best friend.
- I just… I hope you know I don’t want to replace him by any means – Alvez spoke up again, looking directly at Spencer – I don’t want to be “new” him. But I know you might see me like that for a moment and it’s okey too. I just want you to know… I don’t know. I would like to be your friend too, eventually.
Spencer looked up at him, blinking the tears away for god knows what time this week.
- Thank you. – he couldn’t say anything else, as his voice threatened to break down.
- Of course – the older one replied with a soft smile, looking at the genius boy for a moment longer before focusing on his iPhone.
One month later
Spencer didn't know, how hard the first birthday of Derek gonna be, until they happened. June 6th was on Saturday and it seemed like it’s gonna be the only good thing about that day.
He looked at the glittery blue box in his closet, the gift he randomly got for him a little over a week before the tragedy. Ever since then he had it hidden in the closet, waiting for the day he would enter Derek’s and Savannah’s new house, singing happy birthday with Garcia holding a homemade cake.
The reality hit him, when he realized there won’t be any more candles to blow for him, instead there’s gonna be one on a cold stone with his name on it.
He put it back on the shelf the moment he heard a knock on the door.
Hesitantly he opened the door just to see Luke on the other side of it.
- Hi. Figured… Figured it might be a hard day for you – he started, looking at the younger man with empathy – thought you might want a fresh coffee and a doughnut?
Spencer looked at him for a second before opening the door some more. Luke walked into the apartment, looking around curiously.
- Sorry for the mess, I was not expecting guests – Spencer looked around, disgusted a bit by what he saw. Cleaning wasn’t recently the top priority for him and he started regretting it, as he noticed few empty cups, paper wraps and empty take out boxes on the table
- Not a problem, seriously. How are you? – Luke put the donuts box on the coffee table.
- Holding on, I guess.
They both took their places on the couch, holding hot paper cups. Alvez opened the box of sweets and took the one with green sparkles on it.
- I lost a buddy too – he started after a moment, gaining Spencer’s attention – during a war. We met at training and then were signed together. Then during one mission… We fell into a trap. I was the lucky one to survive and the miserable one, watching as he dies in my arms with his blood on my hands.
- I’m sorry – that was all Spencer was able to say, looking at the older guy with mix of emotions he struggled to name, remembering his own friend with head on his lap, as he laid on the hard wooden floor bleeding out.
- My point is... I had no one to rely on, as every one was mourning the loss. But you Spencer… you don’t have to be alone.
Another soft, sad smile broke Spencer’s heart a little more. After a few seconds of hesitation, he decided to finally speak out.
- Pretty boy. That’s the nickname Derek gave me – he looked at Luke, just to make sure that it’s okey to share, before focusing on the cup in his hands again, blinking to get rid of tears – when I joined BAU I was 23 and the only reason they accepted my application was because of my intellectual… gift. I graduated academy not knowing how to properly hold a gun. Derek… Derek had the desk next to mine and for the first few days he was a total pain in the ass. Constantly called me “pretty boy” and God, I hated it. But even with the teasing and jokes and sarcasm… I noticed he was always there. One time we went on a case to Boston and there had been those two cops. They tried to mock me and underestimated every word I said. Most likely because I looked like I barely graduated high school when they were way taller and manlier than me. Derek… Derek was the first one to stand up for me. – he smiled sadly, wiping up a tear from his cheek – He yelled at them and humiliated them in front of every one. Pretty sure he was ready to throw punches if it wasn’t for Hotch. Anyway, that was the first time I realized he can be my friend and not only the guy I work with. That’s… that’s when he turned into my older brother. The nickname stucked and I knew I was safe when I heard him say that. I knew someone cares and is there to protect me when everything gets more… intense.
Luke nodded, looking at Spencer with sympathy. He already knew why Spencer has forbidden anyone call him pretty boy, but it was still good to hear him say it in his own words, his own emotions and stories.
- I’m not sure what to do now – a quiet confession left Reids mouth a moment later – he was putting up with me on so many levels both professionally and privately that now I don’t know what to do. There’s no one to call me those stupid two words anymore and I can’t believe I fought over them for a month. Now I miss hearing him say that. I miss what they meant. And it breaks my heart every day.
- I think – Luke started cautiously, looking at the genius next to him – that you won’t find another him. But just because there won’t be another Derek, doesn’t mean there won’t be another person to be there for you, protect you and… “put up” with you, as you described. You just need to let people into your life again and let us fill up the missing pieces as much as we can.
- Do you… Do you want to do that? – Spencer looked up at the man next to him with both hope and disbelief in his eyes – Fill up some place, I mean?
Luke couldn’t help but smile the smile you use when you see an adorable child confused about the life around him. That was the same way Spencer was confused about him wanting to be friends.
- Of course, Spence. I would be honored if you let me.
All he could do was nod, before leaning on his shoulder for the first time, getting used to the new bound they found and could share.
Luke Alvez knew Spencer Reid was special the moment he heard about him from unit chief Aaron Hotchner months ago. The man referred to him as “doctor” despite the fact he was barely 30. Then he saw the desk next to his, totally covered in books and notes.
But he was absolutely sure he’s more than special the moment he saw him for the first time that day in the bullpen. Ever since he looked at the tall man, he tried to become his friend. He knew by the looks on the teams face and the way JJ hugged him that morning, that there would be nothing better in the world than being able to say “Spencer Reid is my friend”.
He was reminded of that the first time they had dinner over at Rossi’s, a week after their first case together. Aaron and JJ brought their kids with them and it was hard to look away, when Spencer was just right there, sitting on the bench with two little boys, showing them magic tricks and observing as their faces lit up just because they got the attention of the genius. It was a long time since he heard a laugh this carefree and loud and it made his heart grow, knowing who made these two little boys laugh so hard.
He watched him all night, interacting with the team and their spouses with nothing but care and love. The way Spencer protectively put an arm on Emily’s side as she tripped. The way he kissed JJ’s head when she hugged him. The way he laughed at Will’s unfunny jokes. The way he helped Rossi with the dishes after they ate amazing food. Everything he did was filled with affection and deep connection to the people around him. Every smile was genuine. Every gesture was natural. Spencer was nothing but love circling around them.
The only time his heart ached was when Spencer was left alone. These few minutes of loneliness on the patio with a glass of apple juice in hand and happy sparks in his eyes replaced with longing, as he looked up at the stars. He knew exactly who is he interacting with at that moment.
Eventually, he was able to say those words too. Spencer Reid was his friend.
After the shared pain, comfort and a few mint and chocolate donuts on Spencer’s couch he could surely say that this genius boy accepted him as one of his friends.
However, during the time of getting to know each other better, Luke knew that being his friend might not be enough. That maybe there was one thing better than the friendship – that’s being his partner.
At the very beginning he didn’t want to admit it, even to himself, that he might have a crush on the tall, skinny, younger man. Spencer Reid was straight, right? Luke had to accept that and direct his affection somewhere else.
June 6th was the day Spencer became him friend but also the day he could no longer use the same excuse he has been repeated to his heart whenever they aw each other. Everything thanks to Derek Morgan – again - and the disgustingly cute picture on the wall in the living room. Luke noticed it after the talk, when Spencer went to the bathroom to fix the contact lenses, messed up by the tears. It had to be taken years ago cuz the genius boy was even skinnier and the clothes he was wearing were way too loose on him. His hair was a bit longer too, covering part of his face as he shyly held a pink-purple-blue flag on a stick in his hand. Derek stood next to him with a sign “Bi the way, I’m a genius” with a glittery arrow pointed at Reid.
- This was my first and only pride parade. He took me there after they found out about my sexuality – unsure voice broke the silence of the room. Luke looked at him and smiled a little.
- Didn’t you like it?
- I did, I guess… I was overwhelmed and confused but I didn’t hate it.
- Then why didn’t you go again?
Spencer shrugged his arms, sitting back on the couch before looking up with a soft smile.
- We planned but whenever there was one we were called on a case. So there was never really a chance. It’s alright tho. Derek and Penelope were happy to be there with me that one time and I guess I couldn’t ask for better first time anyway.
Luke only nodded, still processing the fact, that this pretty boy sitting on brown leather couch, wearing too big sweater and slim sweatpants was bisexual, therefore the crush he developed in him wasn’t as irrational as he tried to make it.
Six months later
- Don’t move – Luke looked at Spencer sitting on the edge of the bathtub, as he was changing his band aid. He hated the fact he wasn’t there when Reid got punched by the unsub, left with a cut on the eyebrow and black eye.
- I’m trying – he whined back, looking at him like an impatient child – are we done here?
- I would be by now if you didn’t move so much.
- I’m sorry. You could put a shirt on, you know – he complained as Luke took a step back to make sure the new band aid won’t fell off like the previous two Spener tried by himself.
- Why? You don’t like the view? – He smiled jokingly, wiggling his upper body imitating some sort of dance move. Spencer bursted out laughing but he could swear his cheeks were more pink than before.
- Please stop before I enjoy the view too much – he managed to say in between giggles and Luke’s stomach flipped.
- Doctor Spencer Reid, are you flirting with me? – he asked only half joking, his mind already blank.
- That depends, how is it going? – Shy but still cheeky smile appeared on Reid face.
- Quite good actually – he managed to say under his breath when younger one stood up and looked in the mirror, fixing a button of his shirt.
- Then the possibility of me trying to flirt with you are most likely high enough to claim them as a confirmation.
Luke was too surprised to speak before Spencer left the hotel room’s bathroom and got back to packing his stuff.
- You don’t want to be late – he added louder, making the ex-military man finally get ready.
- So? When are you gonna tell Luke you’re in love with him? – JJ asked quietly, pulling Reid out of his thoughts.
They were sitting in the jet on their way back, Luke sleeping at the front seat next to Rossi who was sipping on whiskey, Spencer took the seat in the back, trying to catch some rest, away from the team.
- I’m not in love with him – he whispered quickly, looking around scared that someone hears them.
- You've been watching him sleep for the last… 7 minutes – she said looking at her watch then back at him – you keep turning your head whenever he passes by and then look again when he walks out of the door, you leave your apartment earlier each morning to bring him a cup of coffee from that Joe’s coffee shop that’s further away from your place just because he likes it more, even tho he probably never directly told you that…
- He mentioned it once – he interrupted, but she didn’t bother pausing the monologue.
-… when we enter the unsub place he is the first person you look at after shots are fired, and frankly, you are the first person he checks up on too. He looks at you with stars in his eyes whenever you info-dump us, he always stays close to you at every police station, shielding you from the looks of those cops. Somehow he knows when you need a break and finds the most stupid excuse to take you out of the crowd for at least a few minutes, he always brings you extra chocolate and walnut doughnut and can’t take his eyes off of you whenever you’re not looking. You two are so obviously in love it’s painful to watch, especially since the two of you are the only ones not seeing it. Rossi and Hotch are taking bets on whether or not you two finally get together.
- What? – Spencer looked at his friend dumbfounded – Alvez is… Luke is gay?
JJ rolled her eyes in disbelief before looking back at him.
- Spence I… yes. – she decided to drop the sarcastic comment purely because of the hope she noticed in his big brown eyes – Luke is gay and it’s not that I think he might be, I surely know he is. He directly came out to me, Hotch and Rossi long ago, when we had that gay bar victim case you had to skip for your mom. So please, do something about it because if Rossi wins the bet none of us will hear the end of it before he kicks the bucket.
All Spencer could do was nod, looking at her confused, happy, scared and lost at the same time.
“Do you like me? Yes (check the bottom), no (throw it away and forget).”
Luke looked at the black sign on the note sticked to the coffee cup. The letters were slim, slightly cursive, elegant. Then he looked at the back of genius boy’s head few desks away, reading over Prentiss shoulder. He carefully lifted his cup to check the bottom of it.
“I like you too”
He smiled like a fool, putting the cup back on his desk, catching Spencer’s eyes. He winked once, making the younger one smile back before they both went back to their tasks.
It took over two hours but he finally was left alone with Spencer, doing their paper work at their desks.
- So… - he started, looking at the younger boy – you like me?
- Of course I like you, you’re my friend, remember? – he finally looked up at Alvez, small smile on his lips.
- Do you leave the “I like you” cups of coffee on everyones desks then? – he teased a little, admiring how Spencer’s cheeks turn red.
- I guess I don’t do that to everyone.
Luke’s heart skipped a beat before starting racing. He looked at Spencer cautiously, swallowing hard before speaking out again.
- Good. I would really like to take you out for dinner then.
Spencer looked up at the older man in front of him in pure shock. At this point he obviously knew Luke might like him more than as a friend but he didn’t expect this. His brain was shut down for moment before the thoughts started their race and he couldn’t catch one for more than a split second. Does it mean he really likes him? Is it going to be a date? What if it’s just a stupid prank? What if…
- Spence? – the worried voice brought him back. He looked at him, realizing Luke was still waiting for the answer.
- I’d love to – he finally said, smiling happily. Luke nodded, biting his lip, knowing if he wouldn’t do that, the smile would probably break his face.
The dinner had to be postponed due to case. They sat together on the jet, Spencer felt every inch of his leg that was touching Luke’s. The flight was short, not more than two hours before they landed in Chicago.
Luke, Hotch and Spencer went straight to the police station as the rest had to check the crime scene and talk to the victim’s family. Secretly Reid was relieved it wasn’t his turn this time to talk to grieving parents or partners. He barely made peace with his own grief to face it again.
- You can take the room at the end of the hall, we put the white board in it. Please, let me know if you need anything more – the sheriff showed them the way and disappeared.
He followed the two older men to their temporary workplace, wasting no time before sitting down, trying to create a geographical profile.
Over an hour later Luke was walking down the hall with two cups of coffee they desperately needed when he heard Spencer’s annoyed, slightly raised voice.
- What are you doing? Do not touch it! Don’t touch me!
Luke nearly ran the remaining distance with heart in his throat. He entered the room, looking deadly at the two regular cops there on both sides of Spencer.
- Come on, pretty boy, pink and blue stickers won’t help us solve the case but they might look nice in your girly hair – the older, slightly chubby one said, reaching to Spencer’s head with pink sticker in hand.
Reid’s shoulder tensed at that even more, Luke noticed another sticker on the other side of his head. It made blood boil in his veins.
- Touch him again, I dare you – Alvez barely recognized his own voice, sounding so cold and dangerous even Spencer looked at him worried.
- Chill man, we’re just messing with him.
- We have four bodies, two kidnapped women and approximately fifteen hours to find them alive. My pretty boy is the only one trying to find them out of the three of you so address him as the doctor he is and do not touch him ever again or you two morons will have to mess with me. Don’t try me.
Next thing he knew the doors were loudly closed when two newbies left the room. He looked worried at younger man, putting coffee cups on the table.
- Are you okey? – he asked, not realizing it was the first time he called him pretty boy out loud since their first case months ago.
He avoided it but couldn’t help it, the cute nickname stucked in his head, fitting the genius perfectly. Carefully, he took the pink sticker out of his hair and handed it to Reid, so he could use it again on the map.
- Yes, thank you.
Spencer focused on the task in front of him, putting the messed stickers in the right places before looking up at him shyly.
- You didn’t have to help me here.
- Yes, I had to – he smiled softly before he sat next to him, taking a sip of his coffee – So, tell me what you found. I could hear your brain working down the hall.
Spencer started explaining everything, focusing back on the case and not on the way Luke looked at him the whole time.
- You never told me how the rest found out about you being bisexual.
Hush voice broke silence as both of them was in their beds in a hotel room, unable to fall asleep.
- I had a boyfriend, Ethan, few years ago – he started after a moment of consideration - it wasn’t anything serious and didn’t last long. He helped me… discover that part of me. He was two years older, doing master’s degree in international relations as I was doing the Phd in physics. We met on the campus by accident. Anyway, it was short but… sweet, I’d say. He was very respectful of my every choice, we just weren’t… compatible. Few years later we worked on a case and they were considering him an unsub. I knew he would never hurt anyone, so I had to explain to them that he was not that kind of a person. It slipped that we were a thing during his interrogation. Derek took me on the side and asked directly what is it about and eventually I came out to the whole team. It wasn’t a big moment or anything, I just never considered it as anyone’s business. Next month him and Pen took me to a pride parade in D.C. and JJ with Hotch started acting a bit more protective whenever the case included queer people.
Luke listened to every word, trying to ignore the irrational jealousy in his chest at the thought of Spencer with another man. It was a closed chapter but somehow made him feel… threatened.
- You called me your pretty boy today – Spencer added quietly when Luke didn’t say anything after his story.
- Did I? I’m sorry – he whispered back, recalling the moment of not biting his tongue on time.
- I’m not mad. Just… curious. You called me your pretty boy. Why?
Luke froze for a moment, trying to find an acceptable reason or lie for Spencer. There wasn’t any.
- I know you don’t like others calling you that, but… It fits you so well, you know? You’re just so beautiful inside and out and I couldn’t help but think about you like that even when I didn’t want to say it out loud. I’m really sorry I did it today. They crossed a line and looks like I did too.
The tension in the dark room nearly suffocated him, as he waited for his friend’s reaction.
- I liked it – soft confession finally broke the silence around them as Spencer fixed his position to look at the side profile of the older man – made me feel… safe again.
- When I called you pretty boy? – Luke also turned on his side to look at Reid, confused.
- When you called me yours.
Alvez smiled, looking at the genius in the next bed, able to notice him blushing in the moonlight.
- Does that mean I can call you pretty boy from now?
- That means you can call me your pretty boy from now.
Luke smiled a little, reaching out to Spencer as he intertwined their fingers in the gap between two beds.
- My pretty boy. I like that. Can I call you other ways too?
- Like what? – the confusion in Reid’s voice made him smile a bit more, biting his lip.
- My… partner? Boyfriend? – the last one barely audible but Spencer heard that loud and clear like it was a bomb blowing off in between them.
- Conventionally, you should take me on a date first – he finally replied, looking at him with a soft smile – then probably kiss me as you would walk me home, then ask about being your boyfriend.
- I should – he smiled a little, realizing Spencer didn’t say “no” just yet.
- Good thing we’re past conventions and first dates – Reid squeezed his hand slightly – I like to do things backwards anyway – added, smiling at him shyly – so yes, you can call me your boyfriend or your pretty boy or your partner, as long as it includes the “yours” part.
- My everything then – Luke got up just to kneel next to Spencer’s bed – and I believe as we start from the end, the next step is the kiss?
Reid looked up at him, smiling softly but a bit nervously. Never in his wildest dreams he would picture a scenario like this one.
- Yes, I think that was the middle step of that.
He didn’t manage to back the words with a nod before he felt full, warm lips on his. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth, kissing back the man he dreamed about for the past few months, releasing his fingers from the grip just to put his arms around his neck. He sighed surprised, feeling warm tongue on his, before biting it slightly, causing other man to gasp before breaking the kiss. Spencer slowly opened his eyes, looking up at him. Skin on his chin a bit red from the two-days stubble of Lukes, starry eyes looking into the older ones, shining from the full moon light outside.
- Wow – that was all he managed to say, making the older man smile widely.
- Wow – he repeated before kissing his lips again, this time the kiss was slow, sweet and short – that sounds like an interesting dinner when we get back home – he whispered by his lips.
Spencer lifted his hand, brushing his thumb on rough cheek.
- Don’t make it just one dinner.
Luke smiled happily, looking at the younger boy with nothing but love and affection, taken aback by the mirroring feelings in his partner’s eyes.
- There will be more than one, my pretty boy. As many as you let me.
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Luke Learns a Lesson - Chapter 1
tags/warnings: smut, bdsm, handjobs, sex shop, interrupted mid masturbation, masturbation, sex toys, experienced spencer, butt plugs, slight dom/sub dynamics, sub spencer, curious luke, inexperienced luke, slight perv!spencer
word count: 2475
link to fic on ao3
link to part 2
author’s note: I’ve had this idea for a long while and finally got the motivation to write more! for now, i’ve written two parts, but if people are interested in more of the story i’m willing to write more, so let me know what you think!
also thank you to @reidselle for beta reading this for me!
this fic was inspired by this scene from Criminal Minds Season 12 episode 1
Chapter 1
As they walked into the sex shop, Luke was visibly uneasy. Scratching his head, shifting, eyes flitting around the room without looking at a single thing. He seemed nervous and maybe a bit intimidated by the sexual atmosphere. Spencer tried his best to match his energy like he hadn’t spent time getting intimate experience with many of the items that lined the shop walls. He was always careful to keep his sex life separate from work. The less his teammates knew the better - they’d ask too many questions and learn way more about their “innocent” boy genius than anyone ever wanted them to.
“Can I see your badge again?” the person behind the desk asked Spencer. He quickly took it out for them to take another look. “Yeah, the guy who bought these used your ID.”
It was Spencer's turn to shift uncomfortably. Could this unsub know that he was involved in BDSM? It had to be a coincidence - he was all too careful to buy things as anonymously as possible and never tie his name to anything searchable. He glances at Luke, careful not to focus on his reaction too long. As the cashier goes to grab “Spencer's” ID, Luke seems to settle some and takes his first good look around the shop. If Spencer didn’t know any better, he'd think Luke looks a bit intrigued by their surroundings.
When the cashier comes back with the ID they ask a few more questions and Luke excuses himself to the bathroom. Spencer makes some awkward small talk about the weather with the cashier until it’s acceptable to head to the SUV to wait for Luke. Just as he climbs into the passenger seat, Spencer sees Luke glancing up at a paddle with what could only be described as fascination. Moments later he seems to jolt out of his trace and turns to walk back out to the car. That’s when Spencer sees it. The noticeable bulge that’s formed in his rather attractive colleague’s pants.
Spencer forces himself to look away from Luke walking (more than a bit uncomfortably) back to the SUV. He takes three deep breaths to calm himself down - mentally repeating “I won’t admit to anything or invade his sexual privacy. I wouldn’t- “ Just then, the door swings open and Luke climbs into the driver’s seat.
Spencer opens his mouth to say something and to try to bring the focus back to the case but his mouth goes dry. He can’t figure out what to say that won’t be both case-focused and sexual and he definitely doesn’t want those two blurring together. Instead, he closes my mouth and looks out the window only to realize that Luke hasn’t started driving. Now he feels he has to say something.
“So-” he finally gets out.
At the same time, Luke breathes out, “Uh I-”
“You go first.”
Luke again shifts and looks away, but Spencer is patient and waits for him to gather his nerve again. “So uh- I’ve never been in a shop like that before!” Luke lets out a nervous chuckle and looks away again. “It’s uh- it’s pretty crazy that that guy used your ID to purchase something like that too, huh?”
He looks over at Spencer as he starts to agree, but he can’t. He looks lost and intrigued and nervous and still aroused. Spencer takes one last deep breath and finally says, “Well I’d be lying if I said that was the first time something like that was bought with my ID.”
Spencer closes his eyes waiting for an unsavory response like he’s always feared for when he’s imagined anything like this happening. One second, two seconds, three seconds pass and he hears nothing. If a pin dropped outside the car, you’d be able to hear it hit the pavement. That's how quiet it is. Finally, he risks opening his eyes, turning back to Luke, still bracing for a look of concern or disgust. Instead, Luke’s flabbergasted. There’s no other word for it. His mouth hangs open and his eyes have gone wide. Spencer waves his hand in front of his face. He fears this was a terrible mistake that he needs to undo immediately. “Luke, are you okay? Sorry, I was way out of line there and it isn’t true. It's a joke I thought we’d laugh it off by now…”
He finally closes his mouth, then his eyes, and he takes a deep breath in and all at once without pausing for air says, “Please tell me if that’s true because I think I’ve gotten to know you pretty well so far and that sure didn’t seem like a joke to me?”
Without even thinking about it Spencer blurts out, “No it was totally a joke,” he laughs and then continues, “really I just said it to lighten the mood with everything going on. I remember how stressful my early days with the team were...I thought it’d help make you a bit more comfortable.”
“Oh…,” Luke hesitates, looks me in the eyes one last time, and joins in my laughter. “Funny one man, sorry I’d normally have gotten the joke sooner it’s just all a bit overwhelming.”
Spencer nods and forces himself to smile as he looks at Luke, attempting to better mask his outright lie. It’s probably wishful thinking, but Luke does seem to be blushing even more than before. Before either of them can say something to end the tension, Luke’s phone rings.
“Hello?...Okay...Okay...Yeah, we just finished up...Okay...We’ll be right there.” Luke starts the engine, buckles up, and then turns to Spencer. “That was Hotch. He wants us back at the hotel - the rest of the team just woke up, so now our shift is over and we can sleep while they work for a few hours.”
Spencer rushed to answer, desperate to return to the pair’s previous easy-going dynamic. “Okay, yeah that sounds good.” There’s a beat of uncomfortable silence that builds between them again before he manages to think of a topic. “Did you know that this could technically be a form of polyphasic sleeping, which a lot of people do to maximize their productivity while awake? There’s actually been some intriguing research that humans might be naturally polyphasic and have shifted to our current typical sleeping habits largely because of industrialization.” As Spencer jumped into his explanation of current theories on different sleeping cycles and patterns, his mind couldn’t help but drift, worried that Luke was still uncomfortable because of what he said.
A short while later they arrive at the hotel and head up to their rooms. Both Spencer and Luke internally breathe a sigh of relief that the tension between them has started to dissipate. Luke listens thoughtfully and asks questions about how things in society could adjust to make sleep schedules more natural. As they reach their rooms, Spencer draws his explanation of the current research’s implementation in test groups with a shifted work schedule. With a smile and wave, they both wish each other a good sleep and then part ways into their respective rooms.
Spencer lets the heavy hotel door slam shut behind him before falling back against it and letting out a long, heavy sigh. He can hardly believe he almost let his secret slip to the newest team member after over a decade of carefully tiptoeing around the details of his sex life, especially around his team. He manages to muster up the strength to stand up and walk over to his bag set down across the room on the desk.
Spencer strips down and heads to the bathroom, hoping a long shower will relax him enough to finally get some sleep. He washes his hair first, taking care to massage his scalp in an effort to further relax both his mind and body. He sighs again. He knows he should sleep, but if he’s honest with himself chances are he’ll end up too stressed over the case and his conversation with Luke to drift off peacefully. As he moves on to washing his body, his mind starts to drift to Luke’s face in the sex shop. He ignores the overwhelming cringe he feels thinking back to how he reacted earlier, focusing on how intrigued Luke looked by the paddle. He knows it might be the lust clouding his thoughts, but it sure seemed like if Luke had been left to his own devices, then he would’ve picked it up…maybe given it an experimental swing… Spencer’s cock takes some interest in that image, twitching and beginning to harden. He moves to wash his legs, his arm repeatedly brushing against his cock as he did, accidentally teasing himself.
Now that he’s gotten himself a bit worked up, he heads over to his satchel. What better way to put himself to sleep than an orgasm, right? He pulls out the lube he always carries and takes out his little lock box that contains a plug, fleshlight , and a dildo for cases like these where they leave quickly without time to pack. He may not be able to bring his collection, but he always goes on cases prepared with at least two toys. He moves back to the bed, toys in hand. He sets them down and gets himself comfortable before starting to prep himself for his black plug with a purple gem base. With how much the team has been bouncing around from place to place he’s barely been able to get enough time to quickly rub one out for well over a month - let alone time to take his time with himself and edge as he prefers. Finally, he’s stretched just enough to use his plug. He slides it in, enjoying the stretch as it fills him better than his fingers ever could. He shifts to add some more lube onto his hand and runs it over his length once, twice, three times. Then, he leans over to grab the clear fleshlight , letting out a groan as his plug shifts inside of him.
As he lets out another soft moan, stretching to grab the toy that’s now rolled out of reach, he hears a knock at his door. He jumps. He cannot catch a break. He quickly stuffs the remaining supplies and toys that are out under the blankets and rushes to find a robe. He opens the door, unsure who to expect and hoping that he just left something downstairs or that for some reason room service is delivering something to him.
His jaw drops as he registers who’s standing in front of him. It’s Luke.
“...Hi...Luke…What’s up? Did I miss a call from Hotch? I just got out of the shower so…”
“No, no, Hotch hasn’t called. I just...I can’t sleep. Can I come in?”
Spencer glances down at the state of his undress and then looks back up at his newest colleague’s pensive expression. “Sure, yeah come in.”
Luke walks in and grabs a seat on the armchair in the corner, leaving Spencer to sit on the bed or the desk chair. He quickly opts for the desk chair - fearful one wrong shift will send one of the toys laying under the covers flying and exposing what he was in the middle of before he went to answer the door. What he neglected to consider, however, is that in his rush to answer the door in a normal amount of time, he had forgotten to take out his plug. He eased onto the wooden desk chair and nearly yelped as the plug pushed deeper inside of him, nudging right against his prostate. Luckily, Luke seemed too wound up to realize, though Spencer still can’t discern what’s on his mind.
Spencer shifts, slowly and gently this time, so his right leg is now covering the bulge his cock is starting to make under his robe. “So…Like? What’s on your mind?”
Luke startles out of his thoughts. “Uh...so basically...I’m not sure how to say this? I just...I can’t stop thinking about it? And you don’t seem judgemental so I figured if I need to talk to someone you’re probably the best bet? I’m not sure that even makes any sense. I’m sorry I really shouldn’t be bothering you. You’re supposed to be getting to sleep - and I mean this can wait!”
“Luke!” Spencer interrupts his rambling . “I’m sure whatever it is is going to be fine. And I’d never judge you! If it’s troubling you this much, it’s worth dealing with now. So just tell me.”
Luke hesitates and then, all at once lets out, “So earlier you made the joke about the ID and I can’t stop thinking that it wasn’t a joke and maybe you actually have personal experience with and knowledge of BDSM. And I’ve been intrigued by it for a while now and have no idea what to do to explore it or get started at all. I’d kind of brushed it off as something I’d never get to explore and I was learning to be okay with it. But then I saw all of those toys in person today and…it changed how I feel. I mean...cliche as it is, life is short and I'd rather get to experience this stuff rather than live with the regret of never knowing. And well...you seemed comfortable there. I might be wrong! But you didn’t seem unsure or unsteady or worried by our surroundings. And it didn’t feel like a joke when you said that it wasn’t the first time someone’s bought a kinky toy with your ID. So I guess…I wanted to ask again if it actually was a joke?”
Luke finally takes a breath, but still looks far from done, so Spencer quickly interjects.
“Luke...I’m not sure what I should say here honestly. I’m torn. I don’t know if you really want the answer to that question either way. Either way, you’re going to change how you view me. And-”
“Spencer I’m pretty sure that if anyone’s view of someone is changing it’s going to be your view of me. I just ran into my new coworker’s room to ask about his possible secret kinky lifestyle. Oh,fuck! What am I doing!”
Luke starts to stand up as if to leave, so Spencer makes a gut decision. “Yes! I am kinky! I have plenty of experience with BDSM. I’ve used nearly every toy in that shop at least once and I repeatedly have had the pleasure of ordering kinky toys with my ID!”
Luke freezes. “Really?” Spencer nods. He doesn’t look scared or disgusted...he actually looks excited. He gulps and seems to ponder the just right way to phrase whatever is crossing his mind now
#ralvez#spencer reid#luke alvez#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer x luke#spencer reid x luke alvez#mine
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Fic Update 5/20
Hey!
Chapter 4:Are You Australian Because You Meet All Of My Koalafications of my Ralvez work In Every One Of Us Shines The Light Of Love is out!
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33714118/chapters/97867521
Summary: The case intensifies. Spencer and Luke are still talking, and there’s even a phone call.
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Ralvez Masterlist
Spencer x Reader Oneshots
Spencer x Reader Series
Luke x Reader
Fluff & Angst (SFW)
The Reid Effect - Spencer Reid doesn't like dogs, not even his boyfriend Luke's dog Roxy. Maybe some late night cuddles can change that. Part of the 12 Days of Shipmas and S13 Square for CM Bingo. Requested by Anon. F
Baby it’s Cold Outside (But it’s Hot in Here) - Luke is out and proud and has his sights set on Spencer. Spencer didn’t realise he could like men until he starts getting confusing feelings for his coworker. And then they get snowed in with no where to turn. A / F
Capture My Heart - Spencer Reid isn't a big drinker. A night at Rossi's and one bed makes him realise drinking isn't all bad if it means he ends up in Luke's arms. One Bed Challenge. F
In the Event of My Demise - months after his release from prison, Spencer Reid still hasn’t allowed himself to deal with the residual trauma of what happened to him. When a local case triggers his inevitable breakdown, Luke Alvez must pull Spencer back from the brink or risk losing him to his demons forever. Comfort Challenge. A / F
A Chuisle Mo Chroi (Pulse of My Heart) - Spencer chronicles his unrequited love for his best friend in the form of letters to his mom. But when she meets the person Spencer has detailed to her, what happens when she inadvertently confesses her son's feelings for him? Requested by Anon. F
NSFW (minors DNI)
Neither Fish Nor Fowl - Luke tries and fails to figure out Spencer's type. Spencer makes it clear with the help of ducks. Part of the 12 Days of Shipmas. Requested by @andiebeaword F / S NSFW 18+
A Cell Divides - Luke Alvez has prison all figured out. Until he’s introduced to his new cellmate, and he knows his heart will forever be imprisoned by the messy haired angel, Doctor Spencer Reid. Roommate Challenge. A / F / S NSFW 18+
Everyday Angel - in the midst of his drug addiction Spencer bumps into a handsome jogger who helps Spencer in more ways than he’ll ever know. Ten years later when he’s introduced to new agent Luke Alvez, there is something so hauntingly familiar about him… A / F / NSFW Themes 18+
Out of Reach - Spencer and Luke are both unhappily married to different people. But when they meet each other at a swingers party, anything can happen. Requested by @/andiebeaword A / F / S (minors DNI)
The Theory of Attraction - Spencer has been standoffish towards Luke since the moment he started at the BAU. Even once they start sleeping together, outside of the bedroom Spencer still treats him with disdain. And Luke is fed up of being just a booty call. For @reidsbookclub 1 Year Celebration. A / F / S (minors DNI)
The Kids Aren’t Alright - Break Away Unity Summer Camp was once the summer destination for the youth of Virginia, but after falling on hard times it was now struggling to stay afloat. And when a young boy goes missing, Erin Strauss knows it could be the nail in the coffin for her camp if anyone were to find out. So instead of reporting it, she enlists her ragtag team of young counsellors to help piece together the events that led to the kids disappearance.
But with her staff more concerned with getting laid, getting high and a myriad of other personal problems, getting to the bottom of what happened to one of her campers seems an impossible feat. Can they put their issues aside and work together to find the truth? Or will the mystery of Riley Jenkins disappearance be swept away with the campfire embers? Either way, it’s sure to be a summer they will never forget. A / F / S (minors DNI)
ON PERMANENT HIATUS
Chapter Navigation Under the Cut
Chapter 1 - The Kids Aren’t Alright
Chapter 2 - Unwritten
Chapter 3 - Dreaming With a Broken Heart
Chapter 4 - Check Yes or No
Chapter 5 - Don’t Let Me Get Me
Chapter 6 - You Might Have Noticed
Chapter 7 - In Between
Chapter 8 - Mr Nice Guy
Chapter 9 - Happy Unhappy
Chapter 10 - Only Young
Chapter 11 - Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year
#spencer reid#luke alvez#ralvez#ralvez fanfiction#ralvez fanfic#spencer reid x luke alvez#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction
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Foxy's 1k Build-a-Blurb Celebration
Update (Oct 23): I no longer take requests for this celebration!
I can't believe it but I just hit a huge milestone: 1000 people are following my page. To celebrate with all of you, I'm opening my requests for a little emoji Build-a-Blurb celebration.
To participate follow these steps and send your request!
Choose a Pairing
🧑🏼💼 Spencer Reid x Reader
👩🏻💼 Emily Prentiss x Reader
👩❤️👩 Tara Lewis x Emily Prentiss
👨❤️👨 Spencer Reid x Luke Alvez (sfw only, no smut)
Choose a Dynamic
🌹 Established Relationship
🌷 Friends to Lovers
🌵 Enemies to Lovers
💐 Friends with Benefits
🥀 Exes with Feelings
🌿 Fake Dating
Choose a Category
💕 Fluff
🔥 Smut
❤️🔥 Fluff + Smut
❤️🩹 Hurt/Comfort
💔 Angst
Add as many of these as you like (but please be reasonable)
✨ Meet-Cute
🛏️ Forced Proximity
😍 Mutual Pining
💋 Kissing for the First Time
❣️ Sleeping Together for the First Time
💌 Love Letter
🐾 Adopting a Pet
👶 Having a Baby
🎈 Celebrating Together
🫶 Confessing Feelings
🗝️ Confessing a Secret
⏳ Running out of Time
🫂 Finding Comfort in Each Other's Arms
🗣️ Having an Argument
🎭 Mental Health Issues
🩹 Tending to Each Other's Wounds
⛔ Unrequited Feelings
😢 Losing a Loved One
Optional: Add one sentence with something specific you would like to read
The blurb requests will be open for a limited time - depending on how many I'll receive. Don't hesitate to reach out to me if you have any questions!
Find my MASTERLIST here
Taglist: @nomajdetective @reidsbookclub @spookydrreid @gspenc @justreadingficsdontmindme @samuel-de-champagne-problems @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @delicatespencer @malindacath @pauline5525mgg @sanaz1dlol @pygmygoat-bicyclehelmet @luredwithpretzels @reidselle @alexxavicry @frickin-bats @spencersprettyslut @s4r4hsblog @sebs-oxygen @reidsmilf @beepbooptoop @lovejules888 @liltimmyst @encyclo-reid-ia @lilibet261 @fandomstuffff @happymangospot @conniesanchor @gaelic-symphony @spencer-reid-wonderland @airconsbeswag @lovelyy-moonlight
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#emily prentiss#emily prentiss fanfic#emily prentiss fanfiction#temily#ralvez#criminal minds smut#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds angst
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𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬
(These are not my works; full credit goes to the original writers. If you'd like your work removed, just shoot me a message and I'll remove it for you!)
✪ ~ BIPOC reader or writer (if this is wrong or you’d like it added, let me know!)
Fanfics Rec List
Aaron Hotchner
Spencer Reid
Derek Morgan ⎢ #2
Luke Alvez
Matt Simmons
Multi-Character / Misc. Posts
Men of the BAU: Kinks — @luciilferss
Criminal Minds Masterlist — @girl-of-many-fandoms ✪
Periods — @libraryofloveletters ✪
Text Fic — @starsscribble
Family — @ssa-atlas-alvez
Text Fic — @starsscribble
Text Fic — @starsscribble
Text Fic — @starsscribble
Going Undercover As a Stripper — @fangirlings-things
Criminal Minds Masterlist — @hotch-stufff
Forgotten — @talatomaz
How The Team Figures Out You’re Together — @reidyoulikeabook
Hopeless Reality — @literaila
Reluctance — @talatomaz
Their Favorite Trait of Yours — @celebrities-imagines
When Another Genius Joins the Team — @lotsoffandomimagines
An Awkward Meeting — @letarasstuff
Their Reaction to Meeting You — @celebrities-imagines
Accused — @kj-1130 ✪
Hotch’s Daughter — @fandomlit
Emily Prentiss
Peace and Love — @just-my-fandom
Jennifer Jareau
Lockdown — @talatomaz
Defenseless — @talatomaz
David Rossi
Imagine Being David Rossi’s Daughter — @fandomlit
Penelope Garcia
Benefits of Friendship — @can-youimagine
Ralvez
Company — @mxchellesworld
Collared Up — @amazingarfield
We’re Not Gonna Leave You — @amazingarfield
Roommate Agreement — @mercy-burning
Moreid
Duplicates — @lotsoffandomimagines
Our Princess — @reids-chop-stick
NSFW One Shot — @sinfulspencer
Hotch + Derek Morgan
Scenario Sunday Prompt — @jillys-feral-fandoms
Scenario Sunday Prompt — @jillys-feral-fandoms
Soccer Games and Reoccuring Feelings — @floraltypes
#navigation#lala’s fic recs#black!reader fic recs#luke alvez x reader#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds#luke alvez
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CM Comfort Fic Masterlist
Hey everyone! I want to start by saying thank you so much to everyone who participated in this monthly challenge - it was so much fun to write alongside you all, and I can’t wait to share everyone’s hard work.
So without further ado, here are the entries for the Comfort and Cuddles Challenge!
P.S. If you have a late entry, feel free send it to me!
SFW Character/GN!Reader Fics
Spencer Reid
Stardust by me: Reader lost someone very important to them. Spencer helps them through a particularly dark moment of grief.
A Desert Bloom by me: Reader has never liked cacti. Spencer finally finds out why.
Piece of Paper by me: Spencer and Reader discuss Autism evaluations.
Rotten by me: Reader struggles to feel at home in their body following a trauma.
Home by @aperrywilliams: Reader gets a call from JJ saying that the last case hit Spencer hard.
Plushie Talk by @specialagentsergio: Spencer has trouble communicating his emotions sometimes. Luckily, his partner has taken it in stride.
Lean on Me by @milla984: Spencer is feeling under the weather.
Tara Lewis
Never Let Me Go by @foxy-eva: Reader has anxiety and gets overwhelmed during a case so Tara comforts them.
Check below for more entries + the Challenge Co-Creator's Bonus List!
SFW Character/Fem!Reader Fics
Spencer Reid
Waltz With Me by @foxy-eva: When Reader is sad that she won’t be getting a New Year’s kiss, Spencer is there to save the night.
In the Dark by me: Spencer comforts Reader following an assault and the nightmares it provoked.
Hard Time by @c-m-stuff: When Gideon left, Reader and Spencer struggled with the loss.
Here (In Your Arms) by @fortheloveofwonderland: Drunk confessions lead to realisations and understandings that result in Reader and Spencer finding comfort in each other’s arms.
Christmas Like No Other by @beelmons: After a blizzard messes up plane schedules, Reader and Spencer are stuck at the airport on Christmas Eve.
Matilda by @leahblackk: Spencer finally knows all Reader's past.
It's Okay if You're Not Okay by @babymetaldoll: Reader feels ugly and a very bad mom after having their first baby, and Spencer comforts her.
Emily Prentiss
Brownies & Conversations by @railingsofsorrow: [Platonic] Reader has been doing a great job putting up a mask, until Emily notices and calls her out for it.
Other Pairings
Patience & Hope by @foxy-eva: [Ralvez] Spencer and Luke learn what being a family really means.
In the Event of My Demise by @fortheloveofwonderland: [Ralvez] Months after his release from prison, Spencer Reid still hasn’t allowed himself to deal with the residual trauma of what happened to him.
Stand as One by @masterwords: [Hotchgan] Derek and Hotch are invited to a BAU family reunion. No one knows about them, and Derek is feeling a little self-conscious about his scars. (AO3)
The Graves Beneath My Heart by HappyJemilyinParis (AO3): [Hotch/Haley] Hotch is forced to go back to his hometown to spend a day with Haley's family as they celebrate the one year anniversary of her death.
Care, Would You? by cherubcurls (AO3): [Platonic, Spencer & Penelope] The team gets injured on the case, and Penelope has the habit of worrying herself to death.
Snuggle Hours by cherubcurls (AO3): [Platonic, Derek & Spencer] It was easy to forget everything as he shuffled into Derek's arm in the middle of the night.
Scars to Your Beautiful by @lcvingprentjss: [Emily/TransMaleOC] Emily struggles with her self-identity after having to fake one for so long.
Co-Creators' Bonus Lists!
If you're still looking for more recs on this topic, feel free to peruse the following fics from myself and the co-sponsor of the challenges, the lovely @foxy-eva!
Foxy Eva (SFW)
Gender Neutral Reader
Darkness of the Night: Spencer comforts Reader, who's having a rough night.
Heavy Heart: Reader finally feels at ease when Spencer holds them.
Pretty Peduncles: Spencer finds beauty and strength where you only see weakness in your scars.
Comfort Kisses: Spencer was struggling after a tough case until he finds comfort in Reader's arms.
Embrace: Spencer finds the best way to comfort Reader when they need him most.
Breathe Easy: Asthmatic!Reader. Whenever life takes Reader's breath away, Spencer makes sure they can find it again.
Female Reader
(In)visible: There were a lot of obstacles Reader had to face as a queer woman but she never thought falling in love with a man was one of them.
Unexpected Visit: After his girlfriend was surprised by an unexpected period, Spencer makes it his mission to comfort her.
Offering Options: When Spencer finds out about his girlfriend’s pregnancy, he makes sure she knows he will stay by her side no matter which choice she makes.
Handle With Care: Spencer tries to be there for his wife after a traumatic experience.
Myself (NSFW)
Female Reader
(Don’t) Hurt Me (Part 1, Part 2): After being saved from the clutches of death at the hands of two serial killers, Reader leans on Spencer to heal.
Lily of the Valley (Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3): Unsub!Reid. Spencer was found guilty but mentally ill after the torture and murder of several men. He finds solace in his psychiatrist at the institution.
Cupid & Psyche: Reader and Spencer get kidnapped by a rather romantic matchmaking unsub who demands they perform for him.
Stork Song: Spencer and Reader try to find intimacy again following a terrible loss.
Relief in Regrets❣️: Spencer turns to his ex-girlfriend in a time of need.
Post Coital Dysphoria: Spencer comforts Reader after sex.
Body of a Goddess: Soft Dom!Spencer reminds plus sized-Reader just how much he loves her body.
Handle With Care: Reader gets hurt during sex.
Myself (SFW)
Gender Neutral Reader
Homemade: Stuck in quarantine, Reader decides to make some skincare masks with their boyfriend. They talk about some heavy stuff with green faces.
Melancholia: Reader has been acting weird lately, so Spencer makes a much needed wellness check.
Pair of Aces: This Pride month, Reader decides to share something with the team.
Diamonds: Spencer comforts Reader when they have a bad pain day.
All Mixed Up: Dyslexic!Reader struggles to order at the restaurant, so Spencer helps them through it.
Favorite Person: Reader just needs a little extra reassurance sometimes.
Pyrotechnics: Reader has a hard time on Fourth of July, and Spencer makes them fall in love with fireworks again.
Lavender: Spencer is no stranger to headaches, and he tries to help however he can.
Storm: Reader has a panic attack.
Haunted: Spencer’s never told anyone what happened in prison.
Like Father, Like You: GN!Child. Platonic. In which Spencer’s child comes out as not-straight.
Female Reader
Astraphobia: SSA Reader and Spencer share their most embarrassing fears.
Sharks & Symbiosis: Spencer helps Reader through her time of the month, and ends up talking way too much about fish.
Honeysuckle Hair: Spencer has some words to say about Reader’s curly hair.
Prickly Pear: Reader tries to hide her body hair from Spencer. It doesn’t end well.
Porcelain: Autistic!Reader has a meltdown in the cafe. Luckily, there is a Dr. Reid nearby.
Baggage Claim: Autistic!Reader is having a hard time at the airport.
Act Your Age: Platonic. Reader was recently released from being held hostage for several years, and for whatever reason, she’s taken a liking to Spencer.
#criminal minds writing challenge#cm writing challenge#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#hotchgan#ralvez#platonic fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#tara lewis x reader#spencer reid comfort#criminal minds comfort#tara lewis comfort#tara lewis fanfic#tara lewis/reader#criminal minds fandom#fanfic recommendation#fanfic recommended
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I know this isn’t my usual type of post but please ralvez fanfic writers, keep doing what you’re doing. You ralvez fluff/angst writers are amazing and you’re currently keeping me alive :)
#criminal minds#spencer reid#luke alvez#ralvez#luke x spencer#criminal minds fanfiction#ralvez fluff
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reading my own fics bc i honestly forgot what i wrote so its actually new content now 😇
#giggling and kicking my legs#over my own ralvez fic#bc they're literally so cute#(i wrote them)#𖤐 rambles#criminal minds#luke alvez#spencer reid#ralvez#my fics#fanfic
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🤡 and 🍦 please! I love you! You're awesome!
(Mer! I love you too!!)
🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?
The first one I thought of was this exchange from my Discord fic:
Rossi
Luxury auto accessories
Rossi
Seat covers for Maserati
Rossi
Luxury auto accessories Washington DC
Chocolate Thunder
What the hell?
Baby Girl <3
rossi, honey, do you think you’re typing into google right now?
🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?
Honestly, probably you don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own. I don't write a lot of ship fics so I don't know if I have many really sweet moments, but I feel like this one has a lot of very sweet ralvez stuff!!
Thank you!!
fanfic writer emoji asks
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