Rafael Barba and coffee

( I noticed him doing THIS, after I made the other gif so here a big version of THIS)

Rafael Barba doing things

--

Disclaimer: Gifs NOT mine.Found on Pinterest and Google. I only collect them and source when I know who made them.

a little bit shy - rafael barba x reader smut

i wrote this like a year ago and never posted it???????? oml i kept thinking it was unfinished but like it’s 2700 words  😭 😭 😭 😭

 anyways i’m not rewriting it or even rereading it so!!! anyways, this is shitty but it’s mine so it’s fine

warnings: shy!reader, smut, vaginal fingering, reader is a virgin (par hand stuff she’s done with rafael), reader owns a bookstore/cafe, written with an age gap in mind (rafael is like ?? 40?? 45??? reader is like 23/24), rafael is a babe and i love him, your honour, also rafael is a brief man and nobody can convince me otherwise, also like the office spoilers ig??? but nothing major, daddy/papi kink, the reader may have a slight humiliation kink (it’s self-projection babes), also the translation is through google so sorry if it is incorrect!

(word count: 2740)

---------------------------------------------------

You sat on the counter of your café, reading one of Stephen King’s books. You had closed up at 19:00 like you did every day (par Sundays where you closed up at 17:00); however, you had stayed behind in your store, deciding that you would leave when the rain cleared up - which, it hadn’t. You looked at the grandfather clock standing up against the wall - quarter past nine. The time had flown by as you were too engrossed in your book to notice the world outside and join the world written on the pages. You sighed as you jumped off the counter, folding the corner of (what was now) your personal copy of Doctor Sleep, realising that the weather would not get better anytime soon. Grabbing your hoodie (while cursing your past self for not bringing a coat to work), you turned off the lights, ensuring the ovens and such were also turned off. You grabbed your keys, preparing for the harsh weather, before stepping outside (albeit reluctantly). The rain hit your face harshly, the wind almost making breathing impossible, as you made your way quickly (or as quick as the wind would let your body move) down the sidewalk. You should have probably just called an Uber as you got to the corner of the street. But, then again, you had money to return to the shop. You halted on the corner, debating it but rejecting the idea. You were already soaking from being outside for a few minutes, so what were another... 20... to your apartment. It took you about ten seconds to go to Rafael’s apartment. You had only been dating for a couple months, but his place was, at most, ten minutes away from your shop, and you were freezing. You rushed down the sidewalk until you got to his building, standing underneath a roof; you quickly texted him with trembling fingers, asking if he could let you in, figuring he wouldn’t hear your voice on the intercom system due to the wind. The door buzzed open within seconds, which you were highly thankful for, and you made your way to the elevator, which you took to the top floor. Rafael answered the door after you knocked, still in his suit (confirming your suspicion that he had not stopped working even now; you were pretty surprised he was even home, as he was usually spending all his free time in his office). His eyes went wide immediately, taking in your wet form. “Hermosa, wha-” he cut himself off (something you didn’t know he was even capable of doing) as he opened the door wider for you to come in. “You’re soaking,” he said as he reached for the zipper of your hoodie. “Really? I hadn’t noticed,” you quipped back as you slapped his hands away, grabbing the zipper to try to pull it down, but you couldn’t quite do it with your trembling hands (which were a dangerously dark red). Rafael grabbed it again, slapping your hands away this time, pulling the zipper down and peeling the fabric off your skin as it stuck to you. “What were you thinking?” he looked down at you sternly, causing you to roll your eyes. “Calm down, I’m fine-” “You’re going to get ill,” he interrupted, taking your phone from you and placing it on the coffee table face down (which seemed to be his way of telling you I’m taking this because you are almost vibrating from how cold you are, not because I’m going to look through your phone, Hermosa). “you need a shower.” “I’m fine!” you argued, and Rafael looked at you with a deadpan look. You stared at each other for about ten seconds before you gave in, mumbling quickly, “Fine.” He walked you towards the bathroom as if you didn’t know where it was and opened the door for you. A quick “thank you” later, and you were peeling off the rest of your clothes before figuring out how to turn on the shower. After about a minute (which felt like an eternity, considering you were feeling hypothermic), you grabbed a towel before heading back out to find Rafael putting your hoodie in a washing basket. “Rafael?” he turned around at that, his eyebrows furrowing - he was cute when he was overly concerned. You suddenly became aware that you were naked and blushed heavily, “How- how do you, um, turn the... shower on?” Once he showed you and left the room, you basked in the water, feeling your previously numb fingers returning to life. You were highly aware of how long you were in the shower, not wanting to waste water or heat or anything. As well as the fact that you couldn’t stop thinking about how you were only one wall away from Rafael - totally naked. You took his (very expensive looking) shampoo and soap, cleaning yourself and your hair, before turning off the shower and leaving. Only then did you realise that you had no clothes - unless you would put on cold, wet ones. You wrapped the same towel around yourself before sheepishly entering the bathroom. Rafael smiled at you from his seat on his couch, his work abandoned on the dining table, his suit jacket on the back of one of the chairs and his tie looser than when he had answered the door, and a glass of scotch in one hand and the tv playing Netflix. “I don’t- um, I- I don’t have any... clothes,” you stuttered, looking down at your feet and fiddling with the towel. “You can borrow one of my shirts,” he said, as if it was the most casual thing ever, like you two always did this. he got up, pausing (in what looked like) the office (which you had convinced him to watch after it came to your knowledge that he had never watched it), and began to pull out a shirt from his drawer in his bedroom, handing it to you, which you thanked him for, still blushing from your current predicament. He went to leave before you spoke again. “I- I don’t have any-” you stopped talking, blushing too much before you could say ‘panties’. “You don’t mind wearing mine, would you? Because, you see, I don’t have any panties,” You blushed at his bluntness but shook your head to say, “No, I don’t mind. When, in actuality, you did mind, but only because the thought made you feel hot. Like everything else had once you had made your way into his apartment. You were naked. And, now, you were going to wear Rafael’s clothes. He left for you to get dressed; you shut the door, making sure it was locked, before you dropped the towel, pulling on his briefs and shirt. His shirt was white, and as you looked in the mirror, you realised that, yes, he could definitely see your nipples through the shirt. You buttoned three buttons before turning around and checking how much of your ass it covered. Thankfully, it fell to your mid-thigh, and even more, it smelt like him. You exited the bedroom, turning to close the door behind you softly to not disturb Rafael’s Netflix. What you didn’t see, with your back turned, was Rafael staring at you (specifically, your ass) and licking his lips. As you turned back around, you saw him sit forward and place his free hand (the one without scotch in it) on his knee - unbeknownst to you, he was trying to hide his growing member. You smiled at him, which he returned, and joined him on the couch, sitting about a foot away. You were right when you thought he was watching the office. He was currently watching Jim fax Dwight messages from future Dwight. You brought your legs up to your chest, sitting back on the couch. I watched as Jan told Michael that the branch was closing. “Would you like a drink, cariño?” he asked, making his way (very quickly, you noticed) behind the couch, as you watched the TV. You looked up at him, smiling, asking him for some coffee. He kissed you on the forehead, causing you to giggle, and then started on your coffee. But you swore as he turned around that he was... hard? Your eyes widened, and your cheeks grew hot as your head flew forward to stare at the TV. A smile grew on your face, and you tried to hide it multiple times, but you just couldn’t; it was... cute. Rafael was unbelievably cute right now - plus, his ears were pink, which made him look... well, adorable. You made sure he couldn’t see your face as you smiled widely, but you realised you were failing when he said; “What’s happening?” “What?” you turned to him, still smiling. “In Scranton,” he said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it was, but you weren’t focused on the TV. You were focused on what was going on behind the kitchen counter he was standing behind. “Oh, right, there,” you said, although you were sure you sounded teasing, which you must have because Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean, ángel?” he asked, coming back to join you on the couch, handing you the coffee. He sat closer to you than you had previously sat next to him, not that you minded - you wanted to sit on his lap, not next to him, but you’d settle for this. “Nothing,” you smirked as you glanced at him - his trousers were still tight. Your eyes went wide momentarily, but it was enough for Rafael to notice. “What?” “What?” you sipped your coffee, covering your smile as you looked at him. he narrowed his eyes at you before putting his arm around you, bringing you into his chest. He put the coffee on the table for you, looking down at you as you turned your head completely to look him in the eye. “You’re hiding something.” “Am I, counsellor?” You moved your legs over him, and he pulled you onto his lap, causing you to yelp and him to chuckle, burying his face in your neck, nipping and kissing at your skin. Your cheeks began to burn again as your smile and teasing attitude disappeared, replaced with whimpers and gripping onto the hem of your (or, rather, his) shirt. You did notice, however, that you weren’t exactly on his lap but on his legs. Which meant he thought you hadn’t noticed his... situation. “What are you hiding, cariño?” he began to kiss further down, kissing at your collarbone. You reached down to palm at his slacks, the office still playing in the background. You heard his breath hitch, and his head flew up to look you in the eye. “What are you hiding, counsellor?” you grinned at him, blinking through your lashes. His ears burned, as well as his cheeks, and he looked pretty shocked, too. However, he quickly recovered. He smirked at you, gripping your wrist, causing you to pout. His lips found yours, and you whimpered into his mouth, causing him to smirk again. “I’m not hiding a thing, cariño,” he said against your mouth, moving your hand back down to his bulge. He hummed against your mouth as you squeezed him lightly. His hand gripped your thigh, the other resting on your cheek as he deepened the kiss. You whined into his lips, putting your hand, not playing with his bulge, on top of the one on your thigh. “Please, Rafael,” you whimpered. His hand on your thigh began to creep up your leg, coming up to the waistband of your briefs before slipping inside. That was new. Sure, you had done things with Raf before, but he was always very... slow. He just wanted to ensure you were completely comfortable with what was happening, but now? Seeing you in his shirt? His fingers teased your entrance momentarily before he gathered your slick and began rubbing at your clit with steady circles. Your hand immediately gripped his wrist, your fingers not even managing to close around his arm. Your back arched, your tits pressed against him, and pathetic whines fell from your lips. His lips were attacking your neck and collarbone, marking you. “Oh, god,” you whimpered out, his fingers beginning to speed up, his other arm wrapped around your waist to keep you against him. Your fingers, the ones not around his arm, gripped his waistcoat. His rubbing sent impulses up and down your body, your vocal cords working on their own accord and your limbs twitching. “Please, oh, god,” his fingers and mouth were the only things you could focus on, and the rest of the world fell away. You were becoming incoherent with your words, that much you were aware of, as you mumbled out, ‘please’s and ‘fuck’s. You were pretty amazed you had stayed coherent for that long, considering that you were usually a mumbling mess of a woman who couldn’t make eye contact or stop blushing when he touched any part of your skin. You brought his face up from your neck, wanting to kiss his scotch-flavoured lips. The passionate kiss did not stop you from whimpering against him or prevent you from moving his hand away from your clit and towards your entrance. "estás tan necesitado, ¿no es así, cariño?" his tone was teasing, though you had no idea what he was saying. You moaned as his fingers edged around your entrance, and you dropped your head into his neck to hide the growing blush, your eyes fluttering shut. Your hips bucked as best they could in the position you were in. You whined when he took his fingers away from you; however, after he had moved you onto his lap (and, therefore, on top of his hard-on), his fingers continued their previous actions. He sunk one finger into your heat, causing your hold on his vest to tighten and your other to clench as you lifted it, trying to decide what to do. Your legs fell wider as Rafael curled his fingers into your sweet spot (and, of course, he knew exactly where that was, despite only having done this a couple of times). “Please, Rafael,” your voice was heavily muffled by the fact that you were pressing your face against his neck. Still, he must have heard you because he added another finger into you, rubbing against your sweet spot with two fingers whilst his palm ground against your clit. “please, papi,” you mumbled out, causing Rafael to stutter in his pleasing ministrations and his cock to twitch. You immediately seized up, your eyes flying open against his neck. However, Rafael’s fingers continued without hesitation, his other hand moving to your ass and squeezing it, pulling you more towards him. He hummed against the side of your head. “Papi, cariño?” your cheeks flushed, the embarrassment of the situation catching up on you. Your hold on his vest tightened, and you were sure you were seconds away from tearing it. You whimpered against his skin, the humiliation only contributing to your impending orgasm. Rafael smirked down at you, loving how you looked, squirming and whimpering on his lap. he loved that you were shy. You were adorable when you were blushing and stumbling over your words whilst you looked everywhere but him. When you called him Papa? he almost groaned aloud. He could feel you pulsing around his fingers, your legs spasming and back arching. Taking his hand away from your ass (and slightly lifting one of his legs to not make you fall), he unbuttoned your shirt, kneading one of your breasts. Your whimpers turned into moans, gradually increasing in volume and frequency. “That’s it, Hermosa, cum on papi’s fingers."

Minors DNI 18+

CW: minor voyeurism

A/N: don't forget requests for everything are open so if you'd like to see anything from me feel free to drop it in my ask box :)

buy me a coffee!

help me escape abuse

my Etsy shop

Sequel to (and probably the start of an ongoing series) Dessert First

~~~

Sonny’s avoiding you, there’s no way around it. Ever since he walked in on you and Rafael in his office he’s run away at the mere mention of your name. And you have to admit, he’s gotten very good at excuses, always having one ready when you show up at Rafael’s office. So you do what every self-respecting person would. Corner him.

And as chance would have it, the perfect opportunity just falls into your lap. Sonny’s leaving Rafael’s office as you’re walking up and without thinking you grab his arm, pulling him into a dark meeting room. He keeps his eyes trained on the floor as he tries to make one of his famous excuses, inching towards the door, causing you to step in front of it. “You’re going to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me,” you say firmly and cross your arms.

Sonny stutters, “I-I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, doll- ma-ma’am!” his face turns deep red and your face falls, an inexplicable ache settling in your chest at his correction.

“Did I do something to upset you?” You ask quietly, “Rafa and I think very highly of you, and if I did something then-“

His eyes shoot up to look at you, his hands hesitating in the air as he reaches for you, “N-no of course not!”

“You’ve never called me ma’am before.” You give him a cross look, “Dominick Carisi, don’t tell me there’s nothing going on because there is and I’m not letting you leave until you tell me.”

Sonny’s shoulders slump and he sighs, “Nothin’ gets past you, huh?” When you don’t reply he scrubs his hand across his face, “I-I just didn't know how to face you after… after walking in on you and Barba. I didn't mean to upset you, doll.”

You step closer to him and uncross your arms, reaching out to touch his wrist, “That’s what this is about? That wasn’t your fault, we should have locked the door, neither of us is upset about it.” Sonny jumps like you shocked him and shakes his head, almost tripping over a chair in his attempt to back away from you.

“It’s not that, I…It-it's not you that I’m upset with.” He sighs again, hanging his head, “I’m upset with myself… with–with the way I reacted.”

Your breath leaves you in a rush and you ask, heart pounding, “The way you reacted?”

Sonny sinks into the chair behind him with a sigh, leaning forward to bury his face in his hands, “Y’gotta understand how embarrassing this is, doll. You’re Barba’s partner and I respect that but- but when I saw you… like that, I just- it-” He trails off into a groan.

You press your lips together, thinking for a moment before taking a step towards him, “You know me and Rafael are polyamorous, right?” You ask and his head shoots up making you giggle a little at the absurdity of the situation. “Yeah, it’s something we talked about before we started dating.” You take another step towards him, settling between his splayed legs.

You reach towards Sonny to tuck a stray hair back into place, “Rafael’s been asking me about you, too. I think he could tell I’ve been taking a shine to you.” He gives you a dumbfounded look, gaping at you like a fish. You giggle again and cup his jaw, gently stroking his cheek with your thumb, “We were going to talk to you about it but then you started avoiding us before we could.”

Sonny hesitates, his hands hovering beside your thighs for a moment before dropping back into his lap. He swallows hard, leaning back to look up at you, “You’re not kidding?”

You roll your eyes and bend down, kissing him in lieu of answering. He makes a sound in the back of his throat when you pull away, resting your forehead against his, “Does that answer your question?

Sonny lets out a breathy laugh, “Yeah I guess it does.”

“Then you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you again?”

Sonny chokes, eyes flashing up to yours. You keep your eyes on him, waiting for an answer when he suddenly stands up, crowding you back against the table. You gasp at the sudden movement, bringing your hands up to grab his shoulders as he bends down to claim your mouth in a deep kiss. He wraps his arms around your waist and you whine into his mouth, arching into him.

Sonny’s breathing heavily when he pulls away, a faint blush settling high on his neck, “That okay?”

You smile and nod, standing on your toes to kiss him again, “More than.” You grow silent, enjoying the warmth radiating from him and the feeling of his lips on yours.

Sonny’s phone ringing brings you back to reality and Sonny staggers back, his face a deep red. “I-I’m sorry, doll, I didn’t mean- that was- that was inappropriate of me.” He rushes, going back to avoiding your gaze as he pulls his phone out, backing up towards the door, “I should- I should go, Liv is calling and-”

“Dominick.”

He freezes and you take the opportunity to close the gap between you, pulling him down by his neck into a kiss, “You’re going to come by my apartment after work and we’re going to really talk about this. Understood?” The tone in your voice left no room for protest and Sonny nods, his heart skipping a beat at your responding smile, “Good, I’ll see you later then.” You leave him with a final kiss, swallowing a giggle as you make your way to Rafael’s office.

You grin when you shut the door, a giggle finally bubbling out of your throat and Rafael snorts, “Got Carisi to talk, huh?” You nod, practically skipping over to him to greet him with a kiss.

“He’s coming to the apartment after work.” You grin, biting your lip as you try to control your excitement.

“About fucking time.”

~~~

You pace the living room of the apartment you share with Rafael, wringing your hands as you wait for Sonny to arrive. Rafael watches exasperated, catching your wrist on your next pass in front of him, “Cariño, please sit down, you’re making me nervous and I wasn’t even planning on fucking the guy.”

You roll your eyes with a sigh but sink down onto the couch beside him, though you couldn’t help it as your leg bounced nervously, “What if I scared him away, Rafael? What if he decided to just avoid me forever.”

He scoffs and pulls you into his side, planting a kiss on the side of your head, “Baby, calm down, I doubt Liv has even let him clock out yet.” You let out another deep sigh and tuck your face against his neck, trying to let his warmth relax you.

Twenty minutes later, the buzzer goes off and you shoot up, almost elbowing Rafael in the groin in your rush to get up. You throw a weak apology behind you as you tug open your door. You buzz Sonny in and bound down the stairs, knocking him off balance with a hug, “You’re here!”

He lets out a laugh and wraps his arms around you, “Of course I am. Sorry I’m late, doll.”

You pull back with a grin and lace your fingers with his, “It’s okay, you’re here now.” You tug him up the stairs back to your apartment. “Look who I found,” You announce as you enter the apartment and Rafael snorts, standing to meet you as you pull Sonny into the living room.

“Good of you to come, Carisi.” He nods and Sonny gives him a nervous smile, almost a grimace as he pulls his hand from yours, putting some distance between you under the gaze of Rafael.

You whip around to give Sonny a sharp look, “You better not be trying to leave.”

He holds his hands up in surrender with a small laugh, “Wouldn’t dream of it, doll.” His heart warms at your smile and he lets you direct him into a seat across from Rafael. You stand between them silently, butterflies filling your stomach as you look at the two men.

Rafael cooly leans back, fixing his eyes on Sonny, “So you want to fuck my partner.” Sonny immediately clams up, a bright red blush growing up his neck and you shoot a warning glare at Rafael.

“I-I don’t-  I mean, I do- I mean-” Sonny cuts himself off with a hard swallow, looking down at his lap as he runs his palms over his pants, “M-maybe I should just go.” You turn to Rafael with a harsh frown and he starts laughing.

“Carisi it’s fine. I mean look at them, it’s hard not to want to.” Sonny’s face goes red, glancing between you and the door. You press your lips into a thin line and sit down next to him, lightly touching his arm.

“What Rafael is trying to say, is he’s okay with us being together.” You say gently, sending another glare in Rafael’s direction, “He wants me to be happy. And he wouldn’t tease you like this if he didn’t like you.” Rafael grumbles at the last part but stays quiet as Sonny takes a shaky breath.

Sonny looks at you, eyebrows pinched together with worry, and places his hand over yours “Doll, I-I don’t want to step on any toes here. Y-you’re happy with Barba and-”

“Carisi just shut up and kiss my wife.” Sonny gapes at him and you snort, sliding a hand to the back of his neck, pulling him down into a kiss before he could protest. He makes a shocked noise in the back of his throat but kisses back, tangling his hand in the hair at the nape of your neck.

You smile into the kiss, gently pushing him back so you can swing your leg over his. You settle into his lap and break the kiss with a sharp breath, “Don’t let him intimidate you, he’s just bossy when he’s not the center of attention.” Rafael scoffs with a murmured “No I’m not” and you giggle softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of Sonny’s mouth. Sonny’s hands hover over your thighs, his breath quickening at your warmth soaking through his pants. You guide his hands under your skirt with a hum, “You can touch me, Dominick.”

A whimper rips from his throat and he grabs handfuls of your thighs, eyes already glazed over with lust when he looks up at you. You nod encouragingly and grind against his lap, leaning into another deep kiss. He moans into your mouth, bucking up into you before he could stop himself.

You hum, hands coming up to undo his tie as you trail soft kisses over his jaw. Sonny’s fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs and you rock back into his hands with a moan, “That’s it, baby, just like that.” Sonny wets his lips, head tilting back with a shaky sigh to give you more space as your kisses dip down to his neck.

You delve your hands into his shirt, digging your fingers into his shoulders as you grind against him. “D-doll, I-” He trails off into a moan, squeezing his eyes shut as his hips buck up into you again.

“Don’t tease the man, Cariño.” Rafael’s voice breaks the silence, a hitch in his breath as he palms himself through his pants.

You hum, “Stop backseat fucking if you’re not going to join. I’m trying to ease him into it.” You nudge your nose against Sonny’s ghosting your lips over his, “He needs to tell me what he wants.” Sonny cranes his neck to deepen the kiss, whining softly when you pull out of reach with a murmur, “C’mon baby, be a good boy and tell me what you want.”

“I want… I want to fuck you. Please let me fuck you.” You smile, leaning down to kiss him gently. Sonny’s hands travel up your skirt and squeeze your ass before slipping to the front of your panties, fingers slipping underneath the fabric to press against your clit. Your breath catches, a small whimper falling from your lips as Sonny pushes his tongue into your mouth.

“Turn around, Cariño, I want to watch your face as he fucks you.” Your cunt throbs at his words and you slip off Sonny’s lap, standing long enough to pull your panties down your legs before settling back against his chest. “Lift your skirt, baby. Let me see that pussy.” Rafael watched with hooded eyes as you pulled your skirt up to your hips, squeezing his hard cock through his pants as your pussy comes into view. You’re wet with arousal, thighs sticky with your juices.

You tilt your head back against Sonny’s shoulder as he runs his fingers through your folds and groans at the smooth glide of his fingers through your wetness. “Fuck, doll.” He bites his lip as he sinks his fingers into your core, his other hand coming up to grip your hip and ground himself as he slowly fucks his fingers into you. You whine, grinding your hips down in a silent plea for more.

Your hands reach back, blindly fumbling with Sonny’s belt for a moment before it gives way, allowing you to push your hand into his pants. He gasps at the first touch to his cock, fingers stilling inside you as you start stroking him, ignoring the strain in your wrist from the position as you spread his precum down his shaft.

At Rafael’s groan, you look back at him, whining as you watch him slowly stroking his cock. He smirks at you, squeezing the base of his cock with a satisfied sigh, “Go on, Cariño, ride Carisi’s cock. Be good for me.”

You nod and rise on shaky knees to align Sonny’s cock with your entrance, leaning back to connect your lips in a deep kiss as he slowly sinks into you. Sonny whines into your mouth, gripping your hips tightly as you bottom out. He holds you against his lap and his forehead falls forward onto your shoulder, “Fuck! Fuck, doll, y’gotta give me a second or I’ll blow my load too fast.”

You giggle breathlessly, closing your eyes as you swivel your hips experimentally. A grin forms on your face as Sonny lets out a loud groan, slamming his hips up into you. You let Sonny choose the pace, body pliant under his hands as he starts guiding your hips to grind against him.

You bring your hand up to cup the back of Sonny’s neck, pulling him into a sloppy kiss, moaning into it as his cock hits a spot deep inside you. He’s whimpering, thrusting his hips desperately into you, driven half-crazy by your tight wet heat surrounding his cock. You feel fingers on your clit and you cry out, bleary-eyed as you look to see Rafael over you, pressing harsh circles against your core.

“You gonna cum for us, Cariño? Gonna be a little slut and cum on Carisi’s cock in front of me?” His voice has a mocking edge to it as he presses his fingers against your clit harder, your body tensing as it pushes you closer to the edge.

You whine, tilting your head up with a pout, “R-Rafa, don’t be mea-” You’re cut off by a ragged moan, thighs clenching around Sonny’s legs as Rafael rips an orgasm out of you. You shudder, pressing your face into Rafael’s stomach as tears prick your eyes from the overwhelming feeling of hands on you.

Sonny chokes “d-doll, ‘m gonna--” his hips stuttering as you tighten around him, pulling him over the edge with you.

Rafael tips your head up and hums when you look at him with a hazy gaze, returning his hand to his neglected cock. He strokes himself quickly, breath coming out in short pants as he takes in your wrecked look. “You look so good getting fucked, Cariño. All desperate and whiny once you get a cock in you, huh?” You let out a whine with a pout and he laughs breathlessly, pressing his thumb into your mouth, “Just proved my point, baby.” He forces your mouth open and his laugh morphs into a low groan as he cums, covering your mouth and tongue with his release.

You swallow and slump back against Sonny, a satisfied grin stretching across your face when he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you tighter against his chest, “You’ll never be able to get rid of me now, Dominick.”

“Who said I wanted to?” He hums, tucking his face into your neck as his cock twitches inside you. Your eyes slip shut and you sink further into Sonny’s embrace, basking in the warm afterglow.

Unspoken Bonds (Olivia Benson X Friend! Reader, Rafael Barba X Reader)

Request: Hello, there! I would like to request an Olivia Benson x Friend!Reader were reader and some friends in the alley near Olivia's apartment building. One day, after a fight with her boyfriend, reader is drinking beer in the spot she usually hangs out at, and Olivia talks her into going back into the apartment. They talk, and Olivia cooks her dinner. Olivia asks reader to join her some other time.

A/N: This request has been tweaked with the boyfriend but not boyfriend just someone the reader has been crushing on being Barba and the fight being him leaving the squad after his trial! I hope you like it so sorry it took so long!

--------------

The air in the alley was usually welcoming. The hushed whispers, the laughter.

Today it seemed quiet. Tense.

You walked, a frown on you face as you rushed into the bar. You were not by any means a drinker, but you always came with the squad to drink after a case.

You sighed. There was no one here today and you needed a drink.

Or two or three.

Earlier in the day, a heated argument had erupted between you and Rafael. He was found not guilty and yet instead of celebrating you found yourself even more upset.

He wanted to leave. Leave the DA's office. Leave the squad.

Leave you.

It angered you how you had supported him from the moment he pulled the plug and it had all been for nothing. The weight of the disagreement lingered heavily in the air as you found yourself drowning another drink.

You loved him.

Not that he knew, of course. To him, you were just a friend. Just a really good friend he would call every morning, text every night, laugh with, go on vacations with.

Just a friend.

The whole squad knew you had feeling for him beyond a silly crush. You hadn't wanted to tell him. You were certain he didn't have the same feelings for you. If he did he would have already made a move by now. It had been years since you had met. So many coffee meet-up, trial victory dinners and late night movies.

You scowled as you asked the bartender for another one, not noticing someone eyeing you from across the bar.

Olivia, ever perceptive, noticed the turmoil in your eyes when you walked into the bar. She decided to give you some space but kept a watchful eye. As the night wore on and the three drink became six it became apparent that you weren't going to bounce back from this one easily. Olivia knew how much you cared for Barba. She knew the how upset you were. From the moment you had come back from the courthouse and left with you jacket without saying a word, Olivia knew something was wrong. A call from Rafael confirmed her suspicions. Lots of things were said, lots of unpleasant ones and Olivia listened as he pleaded her to check up on you.

Which led to her quietly approaching you.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked, her tone a careful mix of concern and warmth.

You looked up, offering a small, sad smile. "Hey, Liv. Yeah, sure."

The two of you settled into a quiet corner, away from the prying eyes and the buzzing conversations. Olivia, familiar with the unsaid language of pain, waited for you to open up.

"He wants to leave, Liv," you finally spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "After everything that happened with the trial, he just wants to start fresh. I can't wrap my head around it, Liv. We fought, and I don't know what to do."

Olivia's eyes softened, understanding the weight of your words. "He's worried about you, you know?"

You rolled your eyes. "Of course he is," you said, sarcasm lacing your voice.

"Why haven't you told him?"

Your eyes went wide as you looked up. "Liv I can't."

"Why not?" Came the careful pry.

You felt something wet on your cheek and you touched it, realizing you were crying.

You were immediately engulfed by a caring warmth. Olivia held you, as the tears continued to flow freely down your face.

"Let's get out of here," she whispered into your ear as she called over the bartender to pay your tab

You nodded as you pulled away, as you tried to wipe your tears away. "No Liv let me pay-"

"No, I think you've gone through enough today." As she glanced down at the receipt she looked over at you and couldn't help but laugh as she passed you the bill.

You looked at it.

Holy shit. 200 bucks.

"Still want to pay?" She asked with a grin and you cracked, giggling as you shook your head.

Olivia finished paying and you tried to get up but immediately felt the weight of the drink your had.

This is why I don't get drunk.

Olivia helped you towards her car, laughing the whole way as you tried to walk in a straight line.

After a five minute struggle you managed to get into her car.

"Is it okay if we go to my place?" Olivia asked.

Feeling a sense of comfort in her offer, you agreed, allowing Olivia to guide you back to her apartment.

Inside, the apartment felt like a sanctuary. She made sure you were comfortable, offering a safe space for you to unload the burden you had been carrying.

"So why haven't you told him?"

You sighed and let out a deep breath. "I don't know Liv. He probably doesn't even feel the same way. We've been friends for years and he's never show any interest beyond our friendship."

Olivia nodded, the conversation beginning to sound awfully familiar. "You won't know unless you tell him. Would you really just let him leave without telling him?"

"I-I-I don't know. Maybe?" You tried, stuttering.

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "Seriously?"

You threw your hands up in defeat. "Liv come oooon! That's not fair."

Olivia shook her head, "It's not fair to either of you."

You were quiet.

After a while, sensing the need for a change of tone, Olivia suggested, "How about I cook us some dinner? A little distraction might do us good."

You managed a weak smile, appreciating the effort to get your mind off it.

-----------

As Olivia moved around the kitchen, getting everything on the stove, she felt her phone vibrate.

A text message.

'Is she okay?'- Rafa

Olivia wiped you hand on a towel as she peaked her head and saw you had picked a book off herself and had begun to read it. She sighed before texting Rafael back.

'Yes but you need to tell her!'

A minute passed before a reply came.

'I will.'- Rafa

She smiled as she looked up at you form on the couch, engrossed in the book, before getting back to dinner.

-------

As the smell of food filled your nose you began to lose interest in the book you had grabbed from Liv's bookshelf. You stood up and placed it back in its spot before walking to the window, looking out at the city below.

You sighed, rubbing your eyes. You knew you had acted childishly. You knew going to the bar wouldn't and hadn't solved any of your problems.

You knew you had to tell him.

You checked your phone, having putting it on silence after storming out of Rafael's office.

70 new text messages and 20 missed calls.

A new text appeared before you could open the others.

'I'm sorry for today. I hurt you and I need to see you. Let me make this right. Please let me see you.'- Raf <3

Your heart skipped a beat but before you could text back Olivia called out, "Dinner's ready."

As you sat down to eat, the taste of Olivia's homemade dinner mingled with the shared silence made you anxious. She glanced up as your leg bounced erratically under the table.

"Are you ok-"

"He asked to see me!" You blurted out.

Olivia tried to hide her smile as she nodded. "And?"

"I'm going to tell him." You said with determination.

Olivia took a drink from her wine. "That's great. I'm glad."

You smiled as you texted Rafael back as Olivia took another bite from her food, trying to keep her composure as she felt her phone go off.

'Thank you Liv. I owe you a million.'- Rafa

Olivia looked up grinning and you grinned back.

"See my food makes everything better!" She joked.

You laughed. "Thank you Liv. Honestly you're such a good friend."

"It's what I do," She said with a smile as she began to think how she would tell the squad tomorrow.

---------

Taglist: @wittysunflower, @rocknroll900

Sorry this request took forever. The writing slump was quite real. I hope you all liked it and please leave comments and thoughts as well as requests!! Love you all!

You're still not sure how this works. You're 99% sure Rafael Barba is your soulmate, but the clock hasn't hit zero. You've met him, talked to him, and slid papers under his door for him to almost step on in the mornings or retrieve on late nights. But if the clock is still ticking, then you haven't met them, right? So, why do you feel safer when he's close by?

It's confusing. And you have no time for confusion about anything. Jack has delegated you second chair, one you are happy to accept. The case load is growing, the indictments issued flying from the clerk's office with increasing speed. You're issuing subpoenas left and right, searching records that go back so far you think you may have found the mythical lost pen an intern took from Paul Robinette because they were too chicken to ask him out so they settled for something he touched (or so you heard).

And Barba has hardly looked at you.

Olivia Benson had reassured you it was because the man is fiercely independent, not because he thought little of you. And while it helped, you couldn't help but grow saddened and irritated by the fact every interaction you shared with him was passing papers while he barely spared a glance.

The record in front of you is the biggest find yet. Unshredded and non-digitized remands. You're not sure how long you've been in this dusty old room, but it's worth it. You hop over the file boxes- you'll be back to fix them soon - and rush upstairs, aware you probably look like you've been crawling underneath a bed in a messy room, but this is it. The clincher. And you don't even care if he sees you looking dishelved, because this file is the red bow, the Michael Cutter homerun swing.

There's no dignity as you cross the threshold of his office, his brows raising as he pours his cup of coffee, your hands holding the file with such a tight grip he wonders how you haven't bent the folder.

"Rafael Barba, may I present four different remands and secret indictments. Done under suspicious circumstances and-" you flip through the file, finding the bright pink post it, "the other dismissed without prejudice."

The room slows, his eyes meeting yours with intensity. The clock on your wrist hits zero with an echoed final tock. You take a step closer, fiddling with the random thread on your sweater.

"I hoped it would be you."

He's quiet, placing his cup on the table before he takes the file out of your hands, fingers gently resting on your wrist, wordlessly asking for consent. You nod, watching with bated breath as he pushes the sleeve up just enough to see the fading clock.

"She always said it was the first time they see you not the first time you look," he murmers, thumb caressing your skin.

*

Barba's watching intently when you approach the stand, the evidence you either found or helped lead the way to balanced eaily in your hands despite the amount. The room grows quiet as you lay the receipts, the texts, fax confirmations, and signed agreements in front of the man on the stand.

"You weren't going to say this was a one-time deal, were you?"

*

Barba's hand lands at the small of your back as you descend the steps.

"Rafael," you begin, his first name foreign on your lips, "can I see your wrist?"

"It's zero."

You wrinkle your nose, halting at the bottom step.

"How long?"

"The day you met me."

"And mine just stopped?"

He frowns, removing his hand from your back to face you.

"Your dedication to justice, your determination, those became clear the minute you spent hours doing what someone else could have been doing. I saw you, and I knew." His hand cups your cheek fondly, brown eyes meeting yours, as if asking for permission. He presses his forehead to yours, lips barely grazing your own.

Really Detective?

Hey everyone! This particular piece is a short one. It's Rafael Barba/Male reader. @nickamaro requested this cute little piece. It was requested that I write this imagine with either Rafael or Olivia. And I decided to do both. Olivia's one will be posted soon. I hope you all enjoy! And please feel free to request stories, either from my prompt list or just anything you would like to read.

Warnings: Swearing

Masterlist

Prompt list

Rafael could hardly believe his eyes. At first he thought he had fallen asleep in his office after too much coffee and too much paper work. But no, that definitely hadn’t happened. He was in the apartment he shared with his boyfriend. His boyfriend who was currently standing on the kitchen counter with…oh jesus that was bug spray and a lighter.

“Carino, I know you said you didn’t like the curtains but this is a bit extreme,” Rafael drawled as he put his briefcase on a chair.

“This isn’t about the curtains baby,” you retorted eyes not leaving one particular spot on the floor. Rafael looked closely at you, a light sheen of sweat covered your face and your knuckles were almost white as you gripped the items in your hands. Your muscles tense.

“Okay, then what is it about?” Rafael raised an eyebrow. “And can you please get off the counter and put the lighter down.”

“Not until that fucker reappears so I can fry it,” you growled.

“Need a little more,” Rafael prodded looking around trying to figure out what was going on.

“There was a massive fucking spider on the floor there,” you explained. “And then it just vanished so now I am staying here until it shows itself.”

“A spider?” Rafael was even more confused. To Rafael you looked scared. Very scared. But that wasn’t something he had ever seen on you. “I have seen you stare down guns and people holding knives at you but a spider has you like this.”

“Don’t tease me,” you almost whined at your boyfriend. “I don’t like spiders Rafi, they’re creepy as hell with all their legs and eyes and…and there it is!”

Rafael looked over his shoulder and saw the spider. It was small, nowhere near the size he thought it would be from how you are acting. Rafael sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose as he walked over and stomped on the poor thing. He did not want to risk you actually setting things on fire. Rafael turned around just in time to have you fling yourself into his arms. You were taller than him but at this moment Rafael felt like he was taller as you curled yourself into him, burying your head into his neck. Arms thrown around his shoulders as you nuzzled into him.

“Thank you,” you whispered. Rafael wrapped his arms around your waist, trying very hard not to chuckle. This side of you was new and he found it incredibly adorable, and he didn’t want anyone else to ever see it.

“Of course, Carino,” he patted your back, squeezing you softly. He found it amusing that his brave detective boyfriend was so afraid of spiders but at the same time a small part of him was a little pleased that he got to be the protector for once. “I’ll deal with any spiders, so no need to almost burn the apartment down.”

“…Shush,” you muttered, lightly nipping his neck. “And don’t even think about telling anyone about this.”

“Ah, yes, don’t want your reputation of being one of the most badass and intimidating detectives to be tarnished,” Rafael laughed hand coming up to tug gently on your hair. A whine left your throat at the action, the man knew exactly what he was doing. You went to pull away from him but Rafael held on to you. “Aw, don’t worry Carino. I promise I won’t tell anyone you needed a knight in shining armour.”

“Don’t be mean,” you muttered being able to move enough to look at him, his green eyes shining with amusement. Rafael caught your eyes, which still had a slight hint of fear in them, the sight of that smothered the rest of his amusement. He cupped your face leaning forward to kiss your cheeks and your lips.

“I’m sorry Carino,” he whispered. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

You smiled softly at him leaning to rest your forehead against his, nuzzling his nose. You had hoped that he would never find out about your fear of spiders. Last time someone had they made you feel so small, as if a detective of your size and demeanour couldn’t have such a fear. As if someone who charges into danger without a moment’s hesitation shouldn’t be afraid.  

“Thank you,” you told him again kissing him. “Never had my own knight in shining armour but I’m glad you’re mine.”

“Well, it’s the least I can do after the times you have saved me,” Rafael grinned. “Now how about some dinner?”

“Or we could just skip right to dessert,” you suggested pulling out of his arms and walking backwards towards the bedroom, tugging on his hands.

“If this is the reward I get every time I kill a spider, I hope I find more,” Rafael grinned untangling one of his hands to loosen his tie, his eyes darkening as he stepped closer to nip at your neck.

Best Friend Duty

Requested. Platonic!Harvard!Barhoun Rita Calhoun x Rafael Barba besties. Could technically be read as a previous relationship or the beginning of a romantic relationship, but also just as besties. Cause lets be real, these two are besties who have fucked at least once. No real warnings, just some sickness, and a teeeeeeny glimpse of isolated childhood. Obvious sass & language.

Rafael had almost been confused when he’d come home to a quiet apartment, Rita was usually awake late, pouring over case studies, law journals, writing papers or going over mock arguments. Instead he was met with just a lamp in the corner of the living room, an open text book on the coffee table beside a nearly full bowl of pasta, silence and darkness echoing through the rest of the apartment. Glancing down the hallway he noticed that Rita’s bedroom door was shut, no light coming from under it and he almost wondered if she’d finally decided to go out on a school night.

Knowing she wouldn’t care; he tossed the food into the microwave to scarf down as his own very late dinner, glancing through what she’d been studying before disappearing, unsurprised to find it was related to the most recent essay assignment they had. Frowning, he took another bite of pasta, that was one thing he’d always enjoyed since moving in with Rita for their third year at Harvard, getting to come home and go over law material, courses and assignments with each other. When he lived in the dorms he was stuck with randoms, not necessarily the same department, year or interests. With Rita he felt at home, at peace and despite her not having a single maternal bone in her body, he felt taken care of. Her coming home with extra groceries when he was having trouble balancing work with school, his paycheques taking a hit because of it, bribing him into shopping trips on the weekends because he had a better fashion sense than her girlfriends. Those trips that always ended up with her commenting that he’d need a good suit to kick off his career, slowly building up his wardrobe one piece at a time as a thank you. Having someone around who understood how his brain worked, someone who was respectable, quiet and knew to keep the lights low when he’d been studying too long and his migraines were starting to settle in.

It balanced out because the best she could do in the kitchen was scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast, vegetables thrown together randomly to be called a salad, or unseasoned shrimp and rice on a good day. Rafael started adding things to the grocery list a few weeks into moving in, appreciating that she always picked the things up so he could cook them actual, seasoned and delicious food. Shopping balanced out because he really did have a good fashion sense, even if it was more impacted by Rita, and his memory was impeccable, he’d be able to spot a pair of earrings that would go with a suit she’d bought months ago, forgotten at the back of her closet. And while she was guiding him through his migraines, he was the one who would always make sure she actually ate, that coffee was brewed at the beginning of the day, that she put away the textbooks and go to bed sometime before dawn if they had class the next day.

Things were completely platonic, but they loved each other, and they knew they always would. Best friends from the moment they met despite what society’s expectations would say, hell, despite what some of their classmates would say. They belonged in each others lives, they helped take care of each other, work through the toughest times together and they would always be there for each other.

Which is why when Rafael rolled over in the middle of the night and his arm hit something that wasn’t a pillow, he wasn’t totally confused. He groaned softly, shifting on the bed, his eyes scrunching tightly shut in an attempt to hold onto his sleep, his hand finding Rita’s elbow, rubbing gently as he relaxed into the pillows.

“Did you really have to punch me in the tit?” She grumbled and he let out a huff.

“You’re the one invading my bed.” He groaned, “what’re you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” She replied, a hoarse cough breaking up her words, “my room’s freezing. I’m freezing.”

Rafael wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush to her before his hand wandered up, the back of it resting against her forehead, “you’re burning up.”

“Shut up.” Rita mumbled, readjusting so she was comfortable in his arms, “lemme sleep.”

“So… you snuck into my room at four a.m. to what? Cuddle….?” He chuckled.

“I came into your room for comfort, and for warmth.” Her fingers pinched at his wrist, “so can we just go back to sleep?”

“Sure.” Rafael laughed softly, squeezing at her softly, “you know you’re cute when you’re half asleep like this.”

“Will you just hold me!” Rita let out a near whine and he could hear her voice breaking, frowning as he knew there were likely tears building in her eyes. It wasn’t often that Rita behaved like this, that she felt like this, that she desired to depend on someone else. It was clear to Rafael by the time his eyes were shutting again that she definitely wasn’t feeling one hundred percent, his arm winding tightly around her waist, making sure she was fully in his embrace as they fell back asleep.

*

Rita didn’t wake up until the early afternoon, the bed empty but blankets wrapped tightly around her, a sealed bottle of water sat on the nightstand beside a pack of Tylenol and it appeared Rafael had even gone to the length of grabbing the portable heater from her room to make sure she was no longer freezing. She definitely wasn’t, she felt almost sticky with sweat, her mouth dry and her head throbbing as she ever so slowly rolled over to grab the medicine and water. Her throat was on fire as she swallowed, the pills barely making it down and she groaned before breaking into a small coughing fit, wincing at the pain in her chest already. Whatever this was, it was hitting her hard and hitting her fast. Her only positive thought was that if came on this quickly maybe it would be gone within twenty four hours.

The coughing alerted Rafael that she was finally awake, the door creaking open and his head popping through it to see how she was, “are you up, up or just taking meds?”

“Up, up.” She replied with a groan, “I feel disgusting, I need to shower.” She attempted to push herself to her feet but swayed heavily and Raf darted through the room, an arm winding around her waist.

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’m fine.” She insisted and he chuckled.

“You snuck into my bed in the middle of the night to be held, there’s clearly something wrong with you.”

“Shut it.” A small laugh broke out on her lips but it was just as quickly turned into another coughing fit, Rafael’s hand rubbing soothing circles on her back until she’d calmed down.

“Okay, let’s get you into the bathroom, at the very least the steam from the shower might help loosen some of that up and if you’re too dizzy a lazy washcloth shower will do, you’re just gonna sweat through your next sleep again anyways.”

“Are you planning to stay glued to my side the whole day? I’m not letting you in the bathroom with me.”

“Okay, then you can enjoy cracking your head open on the tub when you fall.”  He squeezed at her side gently, nudging her in the direction of the bathroom and she tried to shoot him a glare but her vision suddenly blurred and she paused a moment to shake out of it.

“Fine.”

Rita made him stay out of the bathroom until she was stripped down and hidden behind the shower curtain but did admit defeat and let him know she was sitting down after a couple of minutes. Even if it wasn’t the dizziness it was the general unwell feeling aching through her muscles, the shakiness of her hands as she tried to scrub the sickness away.

“You know maybe if you hadn’t skipped dinner last night you’d be able to make it through a shower.” Rafael called over the water.

“I didn’t skip dinner.”

“Rita, there were all of two bites taken out of that pasta and we both know it.”

“I wasn’t hungry.” She protested back, reaching up to turn off the taps, “and I was exhausted. I chose sleep over nourishment. Hand me a towel.” A warm, fluffy green one popped up between the shower curtain and the wall,

“Be careful when you stand up, and I’m leaving clothes on the basin for you.”

“Thanks.”

Rita waited until she heard the bathroom door click shut before she managed her way to her feet, cautiously stepping out of the tub to dry herself off. She couldn’t help but softly smile at the pile of clothes Rafael had left out for her, a pair of plaid pyjama pants of his that she tended to steal out of the laundry, a worn high school debate club shirt of her own and a Harvard hoodie they weren’t entirely sure who the correct owner was at this point. Pulling the hoodie tighter around her with a little shiver she padded out to the main part of the apartment, the television was on low, textbooks and note pads strewn across the coffee table next to a half full coffee cup. She made a beeline for the couch, tugging the blanket off the back of it before collapsing onto the cushions and wrapping it around herself. She snagged the remote, turning the volume up a bit before starting to channel surf to find something more entertaining to watch.

“Whatever you’re cooking smells amazing.”

“Good.” He chuckled, “it’s for you.”

“What?” She asked with a croak, sitting up and looking over the back of the couch to Raf in the kitchen.

“I figured you were coming down with something so I ran to the store this morning, picked up ingredients for soup.”

“Can’t that just come out of a can?”

“Sure. If you want bland, unseasoned crap.” He laughed, turning the heat down to a simmer, “didn’t your mom ever make you soup when you were sick as a kid?”

“Bold of you to assume my mother ever cooked anything for me. And if I was sick she’d throw some children’s Advil in the direction of my father and shuttle me off to the nannies for the week.”

“No wonder you hate being sick so much.” He frowned, crossing through the room, “it’s not about the actual illness, is it?”

“Being sick sucks.” Rita sighed, dropping back into the cushions, burrowing under the blanket as Raf perched on the arm of the couch. “You already feel like crap, you can’t do anything, your energy is zapped, you either have no appetite or you’re throwing up constantly. You’re not allowed to go to school and nobody wants anything to do with you so you’re holed up on your own feeling like you’re in isolation until you’re better.”

“You were the kid who sat up studying and doing homework while off sick, weren’t you?” He raised a brow in her direction and she looked up at him with a sheepish expression before scoffing.

“Yeah.” She tugged the blanket tighter under her chin, “can’t fall behind.”

“Well then be glad it’s the weekend.” He teased, a hand coming to ruffle at her hair and he clicked his tongue, “did you seriously wash your hair and not dry it?”

“I seem to remember getting lectured about not standing for too long.” She glared up at him and he rolled his eyes.

“If you sleep with it like this it’s going to be a tangled mess when you wake up and I already don’t wanna hear it. Gimmie a second.”

Rita let out a huff, her gaze falling back onto the television as he disappeared from the room. She heard the click of the kettle as he passed through the kitchen before he wandered down the hall for a couple of minutes, rustling around in one of the other rooms. By the time he came back the water was boiling and when he returned to the couch there was a steaming mug in his hand thrust into Rita’s line of sight.

“Sit up.” He instructed, “and take this.”

She grumbled but did as he asked, sitting with her back against the arm of the couch as Rafael situated himself on it once again. She noticed that the tea wasn’t one of their usual tea bags, a mix of scents wafting off the beverage and a cinnamon stick floating inside of it. Behind her, Rafael’s fingers shook out her damp hair, making sure he wasn’t going to come across any large knots before parting it down the center and starting to make two French braids. She let out a little happy hum, appreciative in the way that he wasn’t shying away from her when she was sick, that he hadn’t banished her to her bedroom until she was better, he didn’t seem to have any issues with potentially picking up whatever germs she was carrying. Truthfully, that was because he knew she had likely been contagious all week and they shared practically everything already. They frequently stole food off each other’s plates, finished the other person’s coffee and used the same utensils. Whenever Rita found the time to bake he knew she regularly licked batter off the mixing spoon to make sure it tasted good before continuing to make whatever she was making. Germs was just something added to the list of things they shared.

“There’s something in this I can’t place.” She murmured as Rafael began the second braid and he laughed softly.

“Likely the garlic.”

“Garlic?!” She tried to turn her head and only managed to yank the hair he was currently holding, wincing as she turned her head back forward, “why?”

“It’s one of Mami’s classic recipes.” He replied with a shrug, nodding toward the stove, “same with the soup. Anytime I was sick she’d make a huge batch of both to last all week. When I was younger there was usually homemade bread to go along with it and I got to either sleep on the couch all week or in her bed. Extra popsicles too. While the actual illness sucked there were definitely some upsides to getting to stay home sick.”

“Sounds fake.” Rita grumbled, taking another swig of the tea.

“Well we’ve figured out by now that we had very different childhoods.” He wrapped the elastic around the second brain, then leant forward, kissing the top of her head, “you’re all done. Hungry?”

“Tired.” She replied back, draining the last of her tea before placing it down on the coffee table as Rafael climbed off the side of the couch.

“Alright. Get some rest, I’ll make sure to be quiet.”

“Where are you going?” She whined, pouting at him as he headed back to the kitchen.

“Figured you wanted to sleep.”

“I kinda hijacked your hangout place.” She gestured to the coffee table covered in his things.

“I can set up in the kitchen, or my room.”

“You really don’t have to.”

Rafael watched the way she frowned, the little shiver that danced through her body before his lips split into a grin, “you want me to stay.” He sauntered back over to the couch, “don’t you? Sick Rita is needy Rita, isn’t she? You want more cuddles.”

“Well I don’t wanna be alone.” She deflected and he laughed, “besides, just a little nap for the drugs to kick in and then I want some of that soup.”

“Alright.” Smirking he nudged her shoulder so she could sit up again and dropped onto the couch, “make yourself at home.”

Rita collapsed into his lap, letting out a happy sigh when his hand automatically landed in her hair, fingertips gently rubbing at her scalp. It only took a couple of minutes before she was asleep again, snoring softly and Rafael tucked the blanket in a little tighter around her shoulders. She’d been sick a couple of times during their years at Harvard but this was the first time when they’d been living together and now he felt a little bad for not checking up on her when he was still in the dorms. She clearly craved the contact and honestly had no clue how to take care of herself, it was no wonder the flu in first year took her out for a full two weeks.

The hand he had in her hair softly moved to her back, rubbing slow circles through the blanket, making sure she was as comfortable as she could get while she slept. She needed the rest and now he really knew just how touch starved she was, certain that if he even got up to use the bathroom she would be whining in her sleep. Halfway through the afternoon he felt his eyes drooping, whatever she’d chosen on the television serving zero interest to him and he gingerly shifted her so he could slide between her and the back of the couch, wrapping her in his arms as he slipped under the blanket.

The timer on the stove woke them up just as the sun was starting to set, jolting them both out of their calm sleeps.

“Sorry.” He murmured, slowly untangling their limbs.

“S’okay.” She replied with a yawn, “probably wouldn’t sleep through the night otherwise.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed at her shoulder, “feeling better?”

“A bit.”

“Take some more meds.”

“Is it time for soup?” She asked, rubbing at her eyes as she sat up and he couldn’t help but smile at just how little she looked right now.

“Yeah.” He padded through the kitchen, flicking the burner off before digging through the pantry, “you want some of this sourdough with it?”

“Please.”

A moment later Rita let out a happy groan at the smells wafting through the room as Rafael took the lid off the pot and added a few last minute things. She picked up her water, swallowing down a couple more pills before she shifted on the couch, nestling into the corner so Rafael could sit beside her. She flicked through a couple of channels until she found one of their joint favourite movies about to start and hummed in satisfaction.

“Here.” Rafael returned to the couch with the food, a fresh mug of tea placed on the table for her, “careful it’s hot.”

“Smells amazing.”

“Surprised you’ve still got a sense of smell.” He teased and she rolled her eyes.

“It’s more in my throat.”

“That I can tell,” he grinned, “you sound like Kermit.”

“Fuck you.” She muttered, opting to ignore him and focus on the soup instead, humming softly when the flavours hit her tongue. Beside her Rafael simply smiled, glad that she was actually eating and getting nutrients in while sick instead of living off saltine crackers.

Empty bowls of soup lay abandoned on the coffee table, Rita’s mug of tea refilled and Rafael had grabbed a beer from the fridge for himself. The movie was just over halfway through and Rita was neatly tucked under Raf’s arm, nestled into the crook of his neck while his hand softly rubbed up and down her arm. Her breathing was pretty regulated, only small coughs here and there now that Rafael had dug through the bathroom until he found some cough syrup from his last bought of illness for her. She was no longer alternating between shivering and being too hot, having to shove the blanket off her, a happy medium where she was slowly starting to feel like an actual human again.

“Rafa?” She asked, her voice muffled by his shirt.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” He turned his face to leave a gentle kiss on the top of her hair, “that’s what best friends are for.”

A comfortable silence took over them as the movie began to wrap up before she quietly spoke again.

“Raf?” This time her voice was almost timid and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yes you can sleep in my bed again tonight.”

________________

@svulife-rl rl @mickey-gomez @clarawatson @momlifebehard @alexusonfire @godard-muse @thatesqcrush @daddy-heather-dunbar @alcabots @kmc1989 @valentinesfrog @originalbrunettecharacter @swimmingstudentchaos891 @prentiss-theorem @witches-unruly-heart @plaidbooks

Blood is Thicker than Water: Chapter 20

AN: Not going to lie. I STRUGGLE writing wedding scenes. However, I really love how this chapter turned out. Instead of dragging it out, we get snippets. I love that about this. Please leave feedback.

Warnings: None that I can think of.

Master List

Guest List: 

“Four hundred and thirty-six people.” 

Rafa stares at you. He’s been sipping from that cup of coffee for over two minutes now. You lean forward and say it again, “Four hundred and thirty-six people.” 

He finally puts the cup down, “I really don’t see the problem.” 

You scream in frustration and stomp right out of the apartment. 

The moment the door closes Rafael looks at Benny and asks, “She realizes I have a big family right?” 

Wedding Party: 

“So that gives me Rita as my best woman, and Ed and Eddie as groomsmen.” 

“And I have Liv as my maid of honor.” 

Rafa stares at you, “That means the sides are uneven.” 

“So?” 

“They can’t be uneven.” 

You raise an eyebrow, “Why not?” 

“It won’t look right.” 

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you.” 

Your fiance sighs, “What about your friends from college?” 

“Most of them are already married and have kids. Plus they live in different states. That’s not fair to ask them.” 

“Friends from childhood?” 

“I hung out with Elliot’s kids. I haven’t talked to them in years, andI don’t really have a desire to do so now.” 

“So this is just how it is.” 

“Unless you want me to ask your mother?” 

“Nope. We’re good.” 

The Venue: 

“What do you think?” 

You look around at the garden. It is perfect for a springtime wedding. Even without the flowers in bloom, it’s gorgeous. 

You look over at Rafa, his smile is stretched across his face. He’s done good. Amazing really. There’s just one problem. 

“It’s not going to fit four hundred thirty-six people.” 

Your fiance scowls, “We can figure it out. Some people can stand.” 

You cross your arms, and lean forward, “That’s against the fire code counselor.” you point towards the plaque that reads a max of 300. 

He throws his hands up in frustration, and finally says the words you’ve been waiting to hear, “Fine! I’ll make cuts.” 

Ring Bearer: 

“He needs a part in the wedding!” 

“I’m not disagreeing with you.” 

“You said no.” 

“I said no, because I already told my sister Noah could do it, and he’s our nephew.” 

“Well of course Noah is a ring bearer, I’m just saying Benny could be one too!” 

  “There’s also the fact that your grandmother might pass out if she sees a dog in the processional. We’re already not getting married in the neighborhood church. She nearly cried when we told her that.” 

“She loves Benny!” 

“I know, that’s why he can come to the reception and take pictures with us. I already talked to the venue and our dog walker.” 

“Oh. Well, okay then.” 

Shopping: 

“So how did you manage to convince mama Barba and Abuelita and the rest of his relatives not to come today?” 

You take a sip of the champagne in your hand, “I told them the truth. This is a you and me thing. No one else allowed.” 

Liv smiles, “Well, it means a lot that it’s just us.”

“What do you think of these?” 

You and Liv turn together and watch as Ed and Noah come out together. They’re dressed in matching tuxes. You and Liv melt. Noah is absolutely adorable, and Ed actually cleans up pretty good. While Rita is Rafa’s best woman, Ed and Eddie are his groomsmen, and Noah is the ring bearer. 

After you’re all done cooing at Noah, Rafael finally steps out of the dressing room. He looks drop dead handsome in his tux. You feel your eyes go wide, and then he gets a little smirk on his face. You know you’re not living this moment down. 

Music: 

You stare at Rafa. He’s trying not to laugh. You can’t blame him. “She’s going to kill us.” 

You smile, “This song comes from the first movie we ever watched together.” 

“We’ve already found a way to work quotes into the wedding. If you walk down the aisle to this song, your sister might just kill us.” 

You shake your head, a serious look coming over your face, “No she won’t. She knows why I love this movie, why I love the book.” 

Rafa looks serious now too, “I think it’s perfect.” 

Dress shopping: 

“No,no, no, no, no! What did I tell you about off the rack? I said absolutely not! Where is your manager? I helped him evade a racketeering charge, he owes me!” 

You sip on champagne and look at your sister. She has that look on her face, “At least it wasn’t a murder or rape charge.” 

She nods in agreement before asking, “How did Rita end up on this chopping trip again?” 

“This is apparently the best wedding dress shop around. She knows the owner . . . apparently rather well. She’s trying to help.” 

A second later a terrified manager and a ranting Rita pass you by.

You both watch them go. You’re happy to say you don’t find your dress in that store. 

Dress Shopping Part 2: 

The day you find your wedding dress, you’re not expecting it. You’re less than five months away from the wedding, and you’re panicking a little bit. You KNOW it takes time to order a dress. Rita’s told you about it five million times. 

You’re walking Benny when you see it. A small bridal shop, with a pretty dress in the window. You stare at it for several seconds before you call your sister. She answers on the first ring, “This better be an emergency. I’m in the middle of a case.” 

“I think I might have found my wedding dress.” 

There’s a moment of silence, “What’s the address, I’ll be there ASAP.” 

You rattle it out just as an employee sticks her head out, “Hi there. Would you like to come in?” 

You look down at Benny and she smiles, “He’s welcome to come in too. I love dogs!” You go in.

By the time Liv arrives, Benny is on his back getting belly scratches from the staff while you’re in the dressing room being fitted into your dream dress. 

Liv stares at your goofy, three legged dog for a second before she calls out your name. You step out a second later. 

You watch her eyes go wide, as she studies you for a second, “That’s it.” 

You nod, “Yeah.” There are no tears. It’s just a comfortable feeling. This is your wedding dress. 

The Night Before: 

The night before your wedding is spent at Liv’s apartment. Ed and Noah head over to your place to spend time with Rafa and Eddie. It’s just the two of you. You put on face masks, paint your nails, and watch Disney movies. It reminds you of one of the best parts of your childhood.

It’s as you’re sitting on the couch that Liv says, “I’m so happy for you. You know that right?” 

You smile, “I know.” 

“He’s a good man.” 

“The best in my opinion, though Ed gives him a run for his money.” 

She smiles at that, “I truly think, you’re going to be really happy together.” 

“I know so.” 

With that, she pulls you in for a hug. 

Right Before the Wedding: 

You don’t actually feel nervous until about half an hour before the wedding. Your makeup and hair is done. You probably should have been in your dress by now, but you’re still in your getting ready outfit. Things are a bit behind schedule. Noah had a melt down, your sister has cried no less than three times, and Abuelita and Lucia have been bickering with each other. You haven’t seen Rafa. You’re not sure why you’re sticking to this stupid tradition, but you are. 

You’re watching the chaos with an observant eye when someone taps you on the shoulder. You spin around to see your sister standing there. She tosses her head to the side and you follow her outside. The sun is shining and the March air is only a little chilly. You close your eyes and allow yourself a minute. When you open your eyes, you see Liv smiling at you. 

“What?” 

“It’s just crazy. How Lewis,” 

“May he rot in hell,” 

“Lead to all of this. You moving back and meeting Rafael. Me and Ed connecting, getting married, and having Noah. We’re getting those happy endings we dreamed of as kids.” 

You hug yourself and look at the ground for a little bit before you look up, “Did I ever say thank you?” 

“For what?” 

“For raising me and loving me when you didn’t have to?” 

Your sister hugs you, “You never have to thank me for that. You are one of the best joys of my life.” You smile at that. 

Walking Down the Aisle: 

You’re nervous, but you’re allowed to be. You’re in your dress, your veil is attached, and everyone has walked down the aisle except you and Liv. You look at your sister. She’s dressed in a black dress. She has once again avoided color. 

She holds out her arm to you, and you take it. You close your eyes, and you count to three. The music starts: the instrumental Dawn from Pride and Prejudice; the first movie you and Rafa watched together. The movie you two still watch together.

You start to walk. It’s slow, and thanks to the three hundred and twenty three people (Rafa was able to cut it down) you can’t see Rafael yet. You do, however, see Uncle Don, and Finn, and Munch. You smile at them. 

And then you turn the corner of people, and you see him. Rafael is standing there. He’s dressed in his tux. His hair is perfectly styled. His eyes are focused solely on you as though you’re the only thing he sees. You feel yourself start to speed up, but your sister grounds you like she always does. 

When you finally reach him, you feel your breath leave your chest. And as you take his hand, everything else fades away. It’s just you and him. Just like it’s supposed to be. 

A Family (Rafael Barba Imagine)

It's been three years since you last saw Rafael Barba. He returns for the Stabler case, seeing you again for the first time since he left abruptly, leaving the life you were building together behind. Little did he know...it's not just you now he left behind.

Rafael and Olivia walk out of Olivia's office, having just chatted about his new case as a defense attorney. Not to mention, catching up after him being gone for years. As they walk out of the office, both smiling and chatting about something, they hear the click of heels stop abruptly.

Rafael looks up to see you standing in front of him. Your eyes gloss over, but the look of shock is quickly replaced by a look of hatred or deep hurt. Three years of time had passed since you last saw each other. Fin looks between the both of you, knowing that you could very well blow up at any moment.

Instead, you turn on ur heel, practically marching out of the building. Only because it would have been that much worse if Rafael had seen you begin to cry over him...the man who left you for years. Left you both.

Fin stands up, grabbing his coat, "I'll go," He says, jogging in the direction that you left in. "Y/N!" You hear Fin yell behind you as you lean against a wall, catching your breath and not trying to let the feelings of panic take over your whole body. "I-I never thought he'd come back here. He's going to find out now and everything is going to be different," You gasp, trying to not barf right outside the SVU station.

"Barba is a jerk for leaving you. But you and I both know he's a good guy," "Fin, how could you possibly be defending him right now?!" You exclaim and Fin puts both of his hands up in defense, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I just know there was a time that he made you feel really happy. Maybe he's going to stay for good this time," "Yeah, right," You scoff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later That Night:

Your phone buzzes and for the first time in years you see Rafael Barba's name on the call. Okay. Holy shit.

You shakily pick up the phone, "Hello," "Hi," He breathes, "What do you want, Rafael?" "I want to see you. It was wrong to ignore you all those years when you deserved so much more. I just- I needed to get out of this city and I knew I couldn't leave you if I had heard your voice,"

Your eyes squeeze shut, taking deep breathes in before responding, "It doesn't change what you did," "Would you just be willing to meet for coffee?" "Fine, Rafael. 10am at our usual spot" You mutter before hanging up on him.

That night passes as slow as it possibly could. The anticipation building in you as each hour passes, knowing you will have to look him in the eyes again soon after so many years of dreaming what it could be like if he came back.

As the morning rolls around, the anxiety built up in your stomach could not be any worse as you walk into the coffee shop that you and Rafa had been in so many times before. Upon entering, you see him already sitting in your usual spot, holding two cups of coffee.

The way his hands are shifting tells you that he is just as nervous as you are. "Are you back?" "Huh?" "In New York. Are you back for good or did you just come to visit Olivia and not even mention it to me?" "Y/N. Please, please understand why I had to leave," "Please just answer the question," "So far I've definitely been considering it. But you know that case I went through and why I needed to leave. It's not an easy decision to be back here,"

"Of course it's not, because clearly none of your decisions ever considered how it's make me feel or what it'd do to me," You practically spit at him as he looks down at the table. "I never lied to you, Y/N. I loved you more than anything...I fully intended to make a life with you," "You ignored my calls for years, Rafael! How am I supposed to believe you ever loved me when all I got was abandoned and ignored?! I need to see that 'love' now to believe it,"

Regardless of your harsh words, you can still tell how hard this is for him and that the man really is trying. As you sip your coffee, you realize that it's time.

"Why did you ask me here for coffee?" You ask, trying to make your tone much softer. "Because that love never left," He whispers, and you sigh, "Come on," "What? We just got here," He says, utterly confused.

"We're going back to my place," "Why?" "There's someone you need to meet,"

Rafael Barba and His Coffee

--

gifs by barbabot on tenor

Watch Party

It's hockey season, so of course I've been watching my team as much as possible (go, Avs!). And since I think Sonny would be a fun friend to watch hockey with, this little oneshot was born. But because Barba is...well, Barba, I gotta involve him. Enjoy!

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Word Count: 961

Rating: T (swearing)

Chapter: 1/1

Summary: You invite Barba to join you and Carisi for a hockey game watch party. That just so happens to be at your place. And has absolutely nothing to do with your slight crush on the A.D.A.

“See ya tonight?” You give Carisi a playful nudge.

“Wouldn't miss it,” he replies with a grin, “need me to bring anything?”

“Nope, I got drinks and the pizzas are pre-ordered.”

You notice Barba's green eyes filled with confusion and curiosity as you turn to face him fully.

“Rangers are in the playoffs tonight,” you begin. 

“That's a hockey team,” Carisi chides and you hold back a chuckle as Barba rolls his eyes.

“I do know that much, detective.”

“Sonny's TV is on the blink, so we're doing the watch party at my place. You should come.” You pause and do your best to put a serious look on your face. “Strict dress code though. Jerseys only.”

“I got an extra jersey for ya, counselor,” Carisi offers with a lopsided smirk, giving the A.D.A. a smack on the back. 

You see Barba's jaw tense ever so slightly and you place a hand on his arm, feeling a slight pang of guilt at the frown that flickers across Barba's face. You'd never known him to take an interest in sports before, but you feel the urge to include him regardless. Not that you'd ever admit it, but the thought of him coming over to your apartment gives you a slight case of butterflies.

“I'd love it if you came by,” you say softly, ignoring the cheeky smirk still on Carisi’s face. “I have pizza, beer, and whiskey.”

“Well, if there's whiskey…” Barba pretends to think for a moment before shrugging. “I'm in.”

~~~~~~~~

“Aw, what the hell was that?” Carisi gestures wildly at the television as you spew profanities of your own.

You find yourself nestled between Barba, whose arm is lazily draped along the back of the couch, and Carisi, who alternates between leaning forward and leaning back against you. Plates are scattered on your coffee table, remnants of thin-crust pizza here and there. 

You knock back the last of your beer, getting to your feet as intermission begins. “More beer, Sonny?”

Carisi nods and raises his empty bottle in a mock salute. You glance at Barba, who leans forward and swirls his half-full glass of whiskey, looking out of place in a hockey jersey in lieu of his suit jacket. You chuckle quietly as you hear Carisi begin to ramble, throwing out stats and numbers that clearly mean nothing to Barba. You can't help but smile at the fact that he'd come over, letting yourself believe that he'd come just for you. After all, a little daydreaming never hurt anyone…right?

“Oh, now that's just bullshit,” you interrupt Carisi as he tries to convince Barba that his favourite player is superior.

You grab two beers and move back to the couch, Barba sitting back again as you and Carisi go back and forth, spouting names and phrases that the A.D.A. barely recognizes. Unbeknownst to you, Barba keeps his gaze focused on you, eyes twinkling with something akin to admiration. Once the 3rd period resumes, the argument between you and Carisi stills and you lean back again, nudging Barba with your hip and shooting him a smile, one he returns without a second thought.

You watch the clock ticking down as the 3rd period comes to an end, the score still tied. Your eyes follow the action as the puck is batted around, a sea of blue jerseys around the opposing net as the clock starts the final 10 second countdown. You feel your breathing stop for a split second as the puck slides past the scrambling goalie before the sound of the goal horn blares through the television. You and Carisi let out a yell as you both leap to your feet, his arms wrapping around you to swing you around.

When your feet hit the floor, you turn to see Barba getting to his feet, caught up in the celebration. You could swear you feel Carisi nudge you towards the A.D.A. and you leap into Barba, throwing your arms around his neck as his hands instinctively find your waist. A grin spreads across your face and you find yourself looking into his flashing green eyes, the spark you find there sending a tingle through your spine. Hearing the buzzer sound the end of the period, as well as the game, you're flooded with excitement again and you lean forward, your lips pressing against Barba's before you can catch yourself. His lips are soft, tasting slightly of whiskey as they mold to yours, warmth coursing through your body. A whoop from Carisi shocks you both back to reality and you pull apart, gazes meeting as your heart races.

“I think I'm beginning to like hockey,” Barba murmurs, low enough that only you can hear and you feel a blush creeping up your neck.

You try to mumble a response but Carisi whoops again and you pull away from Barba, suddenly self-conscious at your close proximity to the A.D.A. You turn and grin at your partner before being pulled into another bear hug, letting out a cheer to rival Carisi’s.

“What a game, eh, counselor?” Carisi grins at Barba, who merely smirks and nods in response.

Moments later, the three of you settle back onto the couch, you and Carisi watching intently as the post-game interviews begin, red faced players grinning into the camera as they announce their plans for the next round. After a minute, you glance over at Barba and find his gaze trained on you, a soft smile tugging at the curve of his lips. Warmth starts to spread through your body again as you focus back on the television, chewing on your bottom lip as you feel Barba’s eyes still on you.

What a fucking night this turned out to be…

What would be the worst minor thing about being in a relationship with the SVU people? Not things like: "issues with healthy communication" or "married to the job"; stuff like: "eats in bed", "doesn't do laundry until they're down to 1 sock", "puts empty cartons back in the fridge".

Sonny Carisi

Uses things entirely and puts them back where they were

Like he’ll use the last of the milk or soap and puts the bottles back where they were

He says it’s to remind him to get more later

The problem is that he never tells you, so you want cereal in the morning? Sorry, only a single drop of milk left.

Rafael Barba

Unresponsive during the day and usually late to come home

Sure, he’s working, but he will also just forget to return calls or return texts during breaks

Says he’ll be home by 7? More like 9. Maybe it’s work, maybe he stopped for a drink after and forgot what time it was

Olivia Benson

You will constantly be interrupted

Dinner? Only 45 minutes in until she has to leave

Coffee date? You’re only halfway through the cup until she’s out the café door

Intamacy? Good luck. Her phones going to buzz on the table and you’ll both know what’s about to happen

Fin Tutuola

Likes to play his video games and music extremely loud

Like you can’t even think kind of loud

Also he’s pretty bad at doing the dishes

Definitely let’s them pile up until he literally has nothing to eat with so you’ll most likely do 100% of the dishes

Amanda Rollins

Dealing with her family is definitely an inconvenience

Her mother, her sister (y’all already know)

You’re also going to find long blonde hairs on every surface

If you’re not living together, you’ll still find them in your own home in random places and you’ll have no idea how they even got there

So I heard you're opening requests again, but there's no rush on this. I read the imagine where Frederick's patient was a sketch artist who told him her feelings for him but he respectfully turned her down to which she accepted. Do you think you could write one for Rafa but the reader is left jilted and heartbroken? The person is also a secret admirer who leaves gifts for him

“Who is that from?” Olivia asked as she eyed the clear box of what appeared to be chocolate covered almonds with a neatly fastened purple ribbon around it. You lowered your eyes in an attempt to hide the pink that was surely making its way quickly to your cheeks as your boss — ADA Rafael Barba — shrugged his shoulders and picked the gift up.

You hailed a cab, went straight home, changed into your pajamas, and put on your go-to pick-me-up movie before sinking onto your sofa. With a blanket over your lap, and your heart broken and bleeding in your chest, you reached for the chocolate-covered almonds, finally opening them.

“I honestly have no idea,” he replied, examining the box for the fourth time that day. “Nor do I know how whoever sent them knew that chocolate covered almonds are one of my favorites.”

“You got a secret admirer, Rafael?” Sonny inquired, dimpled smirk taking over his face as he sat in one of the seats in front of the ADA’s desk.

“That or someone’s trying to kill me, I suppose,” Rafael mumbled, setting the box down once more and beginning to listen to Olivia’s briefing on their most recent case while you set his long-awaited coffee down on his desk. “Thank you,” he said softly to you, glancing in your direction with a smile before he gave the Lieutenant his attention again.

You’d been working at the DA’s office for nearly two years as a paralegal, and had always seen the illustrious ADA in the hallways as he made his way to or from the courthouse downstairs. At first, you’d been content just to admire him from afar — even sometimes volunteering to work on one of his cases or sneaking down to the courthouse to watch him in action, though you always stayed near the back and ducked out immediately after the verdict was read. You grew to not only admire him, but begin to wonder what he might be like outside of the DA’s office. Night after night you would find yourself wondering various things about him. If he had a ritual when he arrived home from a long day. Whether he enjoyed leisurely reading the paper on Sunday mornings or preferred to immerse himself in a book. Did he prefer scotch or bourbon after a tough case? You always guessed the former.

Once you’d even followed him to Forlini’s and “bumped into him,” hoping he would invite you to join him for a drink, and he had, gesturing to the stool beside his and signalling the bartender for you to order yourself a drink. It was the first time you’d gotten to know him as Rafael, and not ADA Barba or Counselor as you so often called him. Though the majority of what the two of you had talked about was work-related, the few times you exchanged personal tidbits or anecdotes was enough to make him all the more intriguing to you.

Later that month, after you’d chastised yourself for being a borderline stalker and vowed never to follow him to a bar again, he — unprompted — asked you to stay late with him one night to work on a case. He’d been perfectly professional, and so had you… except for the fact that you fell in love with Rafael Barba that night.

"Y/N!" The sound of his voice, even partially muffled by the walls between his office and yours across the hall, made the downy hairs on your arm stand as the skin beneath developed tiny bumps. Inhaling deeply, you let out the air as you stood and walked past your fellow interns in the tiny, shared office that you all occupied to cross the hall and peek into his much larger office.

"Yes, Mr Barba?" You found him in the same manner you normally did, reclined in his chair with his feet kicked up on his desk and an open file in his hand. One hand held the manilla folder up in front of him while the free one squeezed and smooshed the stress ball he kept in his drawer.

"Would you do me a favor and dig out the files from the Kellerman case?" he asked, eyes still moving over the file in his hand.

"The one from last month?"

"That's the one," he answered, still not looking up from his reading material.

"Absolutely," you said, dutifully going to the file room down the hall and filling out a request slip. You chewed on your bottom lip, wringing your hands in front of you as you paced from one side of the hallway to the other, waiting for the case file. Taking a deep breath, you let it blow past your lips in a shudder, trying to calm your nerves.

In the two years with the DA's office, your crush on ADA Barba had never made it difficult to work with him. Sure, your heart would pound until your entire body thrummed with your pulse. Yes, your skin would often grow so hot that you were convinced it would sizzle should you splash water on it. But that didn't mean that you couldn't be just as professional as you'd always been. Even if one look into his green eyes would send you into a tailspin, making you feel as though you were in the middle of a tornado, with the entire world spinning around you.

"Y/N?" you heard from the clerk and blinked as you gave him a thankful smile before you took the file and made your way back down the hall. Knocking on ADA Barba's door, you carefully opened it and poked your head inside.

He still sat at his desk, but his feet had found the floor once more and his elbows and forearms pressed against the end of the desk as one hand scribbled notes on a legal pad. His lips were perfectly puckered in concentration and the little wrinkle between his brows prompted the corner of your own lips to curl upward.

"Mr Barba? I have the file you requested," you said, ignoring the flapping wings in your belly as you crossed the threshold and held out the file.

"Thank you. Would you mind staying and looking over that file for any similarities to the Efferman case?"

The sound of his voice rolled over your skin like a river of feathers that had been warmed by the blazing sun, raising goosebumps over your flesh. You licked your dry lips, wiping your free hand against your skirt. Your eyes fell on the hand not moving over the legal pad, following the thick vein that started as two blue lines below his knuckles then merged into one and ran down the center of his hand, disappearing again at his wrist.

"Y/N?"

You blinked, shaking your head and planting a smile on your face. "Yes, I'm so sorry. Absolutely, Mr Barba, I can do that."

"Let's set up on the couch, I could use a change of scenery," he said, dropping his pen on the yellow pad and standing.

His chest swelled with a deep inhale, eyes still on the yellow notepad as the air came out in a huff, his cheeks puffing outward with the noise. Taking up both the pad he'd been writing on and the file he'd been referencing, he made his way to the couch on the other side of the door and sat down. Glancing up at you as you sat next to him, he offered a brief smirk before putting his attention on the notepad on the coffee table.

Sitting so close to him allowed his musky cologne to surround you, overwhelming your senses until your head was swimming. Blinking several times, you cleared your throat and crossed your legs, opening the file and beginning to read. You tried to concentrate on the words in the file, but damn it if his scent wasn't driving you insane. Biting the inside of your cheek, you curled your toes inside your shoes and clenched your jaw. You could feel your shirt beginning to stick to your back as a light sheen of sweat built up there.

You could hear his breathing, slow and steady as you cast a sideways glance, trying not to stare at the peppering of grey he had beneath his temples. Why did he have to be so handsome?

"How are you doing in law school?" he asked, eyes still on his work as he annotated in the margin of his notes.

Your mouth fell open as you tried to articulate an answer, when your voice refused to come out, you cleared your throat. "Pretty good. I'm actually supposed to be taking the bar this weekend."

"Good for you," he mumbled absently, underlining a sentence before he turned to look at you. "You nervous?"

You blinked again, the only seamless thing you could manage to do. "Very."

"Don't be," he answered with a gentle smirk. "I'm sure you'll do just fine."

"T-thank you."

He knitted his brows. "Are you okay?" Your mouth fell open again, eyes widening slightly as you nodded.

In truth, your mind was still reeling from the conversation you'd overheard him having with Lieutenant Benson and Detective Carisi. Sure, he hadn't necessarily said anything bad about the chocolate covered almonds that you had snuck onto his desk. But it was the fact that they sat just as you'd left them that worried you, unopened. Swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat, you gestured to the clear, plastic box with the purple bow with your chin.

"I thought you liked chocolate covered almonds," you blurted out.

He furrowed his brows, turning his head slightly as his eyelids slid down suspiciously. "How did you know that was what they were?"

"Um…" Shit. Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit! "I overheard you talking to Lieutenant Benson earlier."

He seemed to only then remember that, yes, you had been in the room. In fact, it was not five seconds after he commented on the anonymous gift that you'd brought him his coffee. "That's right."

Well, him clearly not remembering your presence certainly bodes well for you. Bowing your head to hide your frown, you began to read the file in front of you while trying to calm the tears welling in your eyes. A heat settled on your cheeks and spread to your neck as you tried desperately not to blink so as not to ruin the case file in your hands with your tears.

"Sorry, I've been kind of in my own world today," he said, apparently oblivious to your efforts to not cry all over the Kellerman case. "Haven't been much use to anyone, trust me — hey…"

Oh great.

You flinched away from his touch when the backs of his fingers came to wipe on your cheek. "I'm sorry, did I… did something happen? Are you alright?"

You shook your head, holding a hand up towards him. A laugh escaped you as the water in your lower lids finally poured over, and you quickly wiped them away. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, you look completely fine," he replied.

You laughed again, unable to help it. You must've looked like a lunatic and kept your eyes averted so that you wouldn't have to see him see you like that.

"Come on, what's wrong? Something is clearly bothering you." His hand patted your shoulder before settling on the back of the couch.

"It's stupid, really." You tried to convince yourself that there was no one to blame except yourself. You had been the one that indulged in the fantasy of him feeling the same way that you did. You had allowed yourself to sink deeper into the feelings you had for him. You were the hopeless fool here, not him. "I'm in love with someone who apparently doesn't even know I exist."

You hadn't meant to tell him what was actually wrong, and judging by the surprised look on his face, he hadn't expected you to be so candid. Still, he cleared his throat and offered a sympathetic smile. "I don't know what to say."

You bobbed your shoulders, keeping your eyes on the file in your hands. "You don't have to say anything."

"I mean, even if I did, it would hardly be appropriate," he mumbled.

“I’m sorry if I crossed a line with the chocolates, I just wanted to do something nice for you and —”

“Oh…” His eyes went from you to the plastic box of chocolate, back to you. “You mean you… those are…”

You closed your eyes, wishing the floor would open up so that you could happily sink into the depths of hell and be done with it. The fact that he was clearly at a loss for words to the point of not even completing a single sentence was enough to make you wish you could just throw yourself from the window.

“Y/N, I’m your boss,” he said after a moment. “I’m so sorry, and I’m flattered, I —”

“It’s fine, can we just forget I said anything?” You were practically begging for a reset of the last ten minutes, but the look on his face indicated that it wouldn’t be so easy.

“I wish we could, but…” He gave a sympathetic smile and somehow that made you feel ever worse. “I’m sorry, I wish it were different, but it would be completely unethical for us to be anything other than colleagues.”

You nodded, ignoring for now the way your vision blurred. “Of course, I completely understand.”

He hesitated for a moment, as though there was something else he wanted to say. “And I’m so very sorry to have to do this, but I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to accept those now that I know where they came from.” He gestured to the box of chocolates. “I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, truly. I think you’re lovely, really I do, I just —”

“You don’t…” You chuckled pathetically through the tears that had finally begun streaming down your face. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I get it, it’s fine.”

Except it wasn’t fine. In fact, it was pretty far from fine. It was all you could do to keep yourself from sobbing out loud, relegating your tears to slow, silent streaks down each of your cheeks. It shouldn’t have come as such a surprise; why would someone as cultured and sophisticated as Rafael ever be interested in someone like you?

“Would it be okay if I went home?” You tried to keep the desperation from your voice, but it was about as useful as the chocolate almonds.

“Yes, of course. Go ahead, I can finish up here,” he replied. You were sure he thought he hid it well, but you could see the slightest touch of irritation in his eyes at having to go over the casefile himself.

Good, you found yourself thinking as you set both files down on the coffee table. If you had to face being rejected, the least he could do was finish researching his current case himself. The strange satisfaction was gone the moment you picked up the unopened box of chocolate covered almonds, and walked out of his office. You had managed to get all the way to the elevator before letting yourself break down completely, thankful for the late hour so that you could spend the entire ride down to the lobby alone with your tears. When the doors slid open again, you were just wiping under your eyes, sniffing hard and opening your mouth to exhale.

Family Trip - Rafael Barba Imagine (Law & Order: S.V.U)

Title: Family Trip

Pairing: Rafael Barba X Reader

Word Count: 1,024 words

Warning(s): bad family, bullying, cussing

Summary: (Y/n) just got back from visiting family. However, instead of bringing back funny stories or leftovers from their parents, (Y/n) brings back baggage that no one could see. Baggage that (Y/n) didn't want to acknowledge.

Author's Note: The holidays are rough for a lot of people. If you need a better family for the holidays, then I am happy to be a part of your found family.

--------------------

It wasn't meant to be anything more than an off-handed comment.

I knew that.

That didn't stop my brain from going into fight or flight mode when Rafael made said off-handed comment.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure why Rafael was there. We didn't have anything for him to look at or talk about, but he was standing in the middle of our office.

I had started rambling. I had been reading this new book series. It was new and exciting, so I was talking about it. I knew that sometimes my rambling could be a little intense and hard to follow. I knew that. I should've known that.

"My only problem is that I can't seem to find the last book," I explained, probably talking a mile a minute. "It's pretty popular, but I didn't think that meant that I wasn't going to be able to get my hands on a single copy of the thing. I've checked most of the places around me, but there's one shop- it's between my place and this little coffee shop- that might still have a copy-"

"(Y/n), (Y/n)," Rafael smirked as he held his hand up to mimic telling me to slow down. "Take a breath."

My mouth reacted before my brain could stop it, "Jesus fucking Christ."

I shook my head and looked down for a moment.

"Hey, I was just-"

"You should try letting people enjoy things without being treated like shit," I snapped before he could explain himself.

"Excuse me," Rafael asked. The whole team seemed to freeze.

My jaw clenched. I didn't speak.

"Liv," he turned to her. She had stopped when I snapped at him. "Can we use your office?"

"Be my guest," she nodded.

Rafael looked at me again. I sighed, already regretting my choices as I pushed myself out of my seat and toward the office.

He didn't speak up until he had shut the door to the office, "What the hell?"

"I'm sorry," I ran my hands over my face.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on," he asked.

"I... I just got back from visiting my family," I said. I took a deep breath. I was already yelling at myself for how I had reacted and for talking about this whole thing. "They're... They're just a bit difficult. I get a bit... touchy when I visit them."

Rafael's eyebrows were still furrowed.

"They just make a lot of jokes," I tried to shrug it all off. "Quite a few of them are targeted at me. Whether they're just about shit that I've done or how I look or the things that I like or... whatever. I tend to get a bit defensive."

"I... I didn't mean to-"

"I know," I stopped him, forcing a grin. "I'm just overly sensitive. I know that. Can't learn to take a joke."

I felt the tears in my eyes. I tried to figure out how to subtly blink them away. It must've not worked because Rafael stepped forward, wrapping his arms around me as he tried to shush me before I started sobbing. I wrapped my arms around his torso and closed my eyes.

"I don't mean to be invasive, but this doesn't seem like innocent joking," he muttered to me. "If it's this upsetting... (Y/n), this isn't normal."

"I'm the one that's not normal," I stepped back, rolling my eyes. "I... I just can't get my brain to not take it personally. Either I get defensive and overreact or I shut down and that's still overreacting. I just never learned how to take a joke. It's always been that way."

"(Y/n), no."

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Hey-"

"I have a lot of work to get done," I said. "I'm gonna go clean my face up and get back to it. I'll see you later, Barba."

"Wait-"

"See you later," I repeated before walking out of Liv's office.

I ignored everyone's sad looks. I just continued working. Typing and writing. I answered a call or two. It was the rare occasion where S.V.U didn't feel like it was being left to drown and hopefully take down a few terrible people before we sank completely.

Sonny tried to talk to me a few times. Rollins too. Liv had called me into her office, but I pushed her away. Fin seemed to respect that I needed the space.

I had shut down. I figured it out as soon as I got home. Just like I always had. I had fucked it all up. I thought that I could keep myself together when I was away from my family. That those reactions could just fade away with time. But here I was. Still acting like such a child.

I spent the entire night caught in this cycle of punishing myself. Stuck in my thoughts and insecurities until I finally couldn't force myself to stay awake any longer.

I came back the next day to see something sitting on my desk. It was wrapped in some Christmas wrapping paper. It was just after Thanksgiving. It was probably what was in stock.

"It's from Barba."

I looked at Rollins as she spoke. She had caught me staring at the gift. I furrowed my eyebrows at her. At the idea that Barba felt the need to get me a gift.

"I saw him put it on your desk."

I chuckled.

"Will you open it," she asked. "The curiosity has been killing me."

I scoffed before picking up the gift.

I pulled off the wrapping paper to find a book. On top of the book was a folded piece of paper. I put the paper down on my desk before properly reading the cover of the book. I chuckled.

"What is it?"

"It's the last book in that series that I was talking about," I said, holding it up for her to see. "I... I don't know where he found it."

I grabbed the piece of paper that had been placed on the top.

I grinned a bit at the short note.

You deserve so much better.

Maybe he had a point.

--------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

stare decisis: chapter two - amarum

amarum: latin for bitter

wc: 1,033

rafael barba x original female character

“Carmen, can you get me the witness statements for-” Quinn starts to ask as she rushes into her office with cup of iced coffee in hand. 

“The photographer case? What we have of the DD-5s from the detectives are on your desk. Mr. Barba is at the precinct now,” she explains. 

“Remind me to thank him for the invite,” she huffs rhetorically as she enters her office. She shuts the door behind her and throws her work bag on the arm chair that sits right inside the door. Two months she’s been in Manhattan and she’s still getting the cold shoulder from the squad and her supposed co-counsel. She dials his cell from her office phone while she glances over the reports from the detectives. He picks up a few rings in. 

“Barba.”

“You’re not seriously thinking about filing charges are you?” she asks and can almost hear his eyes rolling through the phone. Her right hand rests on the desk with a pink gel pen in it on a blank legal pad, willing and ready to take notes.

“I thought you would think better of me,” he smirks and mouths her name to Olivia. 

“I don’t and that’s how I know you’re still helping the squad cook up some convoluted plan to get this guy,” the smirk is wiped right off his face, it was like she had read his mind. 

“They either do it with legal counsel observing or the start violating constitutional rights with reckless disregard,” he lowers his voice as he walks into the breakroom of the precinct.

“Or you’re there and they violate someone’s rights and then you’re also named in the lawsuit. I don’t think the city’s malpractice insurance covers rights violations,” she huffs.

“I appreciate your concern but I’m doing this,” he grunts and hangs up the phone. She sighs angrily. She’s been co-counsel to Barba for three months and they’ve been at each other’s throats constantly. This time she’s actually looking out for him and he’s continuing to brush her off. 

She works the rest of the day quietly, Barba is in and out of his office, leaving her out of the game all day. 

***

Quinn’s boring and quiet day came to an end later that night while she sat on her couch watching trashy reality television. At a pivotal point in the episode her phone rings next to her, she picks it up with her eyes still glued to the TV. 

“Mac, you won’t believe what happened today,” she says without a second thought. As she’s about to continue speaking she’s interrupted by an unexpected voice.

“Miss Brady, it’s Sonny Carisi. Sorry to call you so late,” she sits up straighter from her slouched couch position. 

“Oh Carisi, what’s up? Barba off playing poker with the Governor?”

“Actually ma’am, he doesn’t know I’m calling you. But I think you should come down to the precinct. Fin arrested the perp tonight while UC.”

“He did what?” she all but shouts into the phone, she can feel Carisi’s painful cringe through the device. “I’ll be right there,” she seethes as she stands up from her spot on the couch. 

The ride to the precinct is short and grueling. Only because Quinn attempts avoids any human interaction as a way to spare them from her anger. Steam is essentially blowing out of her ears as she enters the squad room and sets her sights on her co counsel. Her gaze almost as fiery as the color of her hair. Olivia Benson watches as he almost shrinks into the waist code he’s wearing. 

“Are you fucking serious?” she seethes in front of the whole squad, not bothering to excuse herself and Rafael from the group. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, looking her casually clothed self up and down. She’s donned in loose fitting blue jeans and an oversized white button up; like she just walked off the set of a nineties movie. 

“I just had a feeling you were going to let them do something unbelievably stupid. And look, I was right,” Sonny takes note of her lack of disclosure as the the actual reason she showed up, he likes to think it was to spare him rather than to make her look good. “I told you to specifically not to do this and here we are.”

“No offense counselor, but you’re not his boss, nor are you ours,” Olivia speaks up removing her reading glasses to make eye contact.

“You’re right, but when we’re all named in the lawsuit for constitutional rights violations; it has consequences, career consequences,” her eyes narrow at every team member. Barba’s smirk is stamped on his face before he even speaks.

“Sounds like you have experience counselor.”

“I was a federal attorney after 9/11, yeah I’ve heard about constitutional rights violations,” she says straight faced. “What do you plan on doing now that you’ve arrested a man with no evidence of wrongdoing?”

“Do what we do best: investigate,” Amaro shrugs his shoulders. She rolls her eyes at him then looks to Barba again.

“We need to talk. Now,” she leads them to the secluded locker room. As soon as the door shuts she’s laying into him again. “How can you not see how bad this is? How did you let them violate him with no evidence? What were you thinking?”

“Okay, I know this is bad, but there’s some compelling information. Fin arrested him in a sterile torture chamber that had been soundproof. The things he said he wanted to do on those message boards are downright awful. And I was thinking that the kids he’ll hurt in the future need to be saved,” he calmly explains while holding her green eyes captive with his. Her breath hitches in her throat before she’s able to blink free. 

“While that is noble of you, it is not legal. And we’re supposed to be co counsel and you left me in the dark. Now we’re both in this mess and the DA is going to be pissed. We can’t keep going on like this, you have to loop me in.” She grunts then removes herself from the room with a huff.