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moe-broey · 1 year

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Honestly I'm a bit relieved we don't have PMD2 remakes like. Not even cause I'm a hater (though I am VERY partial to the og sprite work, they really killed it w that). No, the reason is because I'm autistic and there are simply Too Many Things actually, esp in quick succession lately LMFAO like. I do not have the brain room for it.

And like as silly as it might sound, I've been REALLY overwhelmed and frustrated by it. I'm upset that I moved on from SV so quickly, I haven't even touched the Engage DLC despite having it, I haven't touched Engage in general actually. I feel like Fire Emblem esp takes up A Lot of brain space. I'm really upset that I Almost got really into SuMo again but kind of immediately was distracted by other things and I have art projects that have been left hanging bc of it.

Something weirdly specific is like??? Bc I make a lot of fanart and a lot of it takes the form of comics and focuses heavily on interactions and dynamics between characters, something I've REALLY been struggling with is like. I feel like it takes a lot of studying a character and getting to know them to really capture their Voice, how they talk, how they think, how they feel and how they react to things, outwardly and internally. That's a deep process for me that takes a lot of time and thought.

I feel like I can't quite express it all the way, like it's stuck, but like. Really picking apart the SV squad and trying to learn each of their mannerisms vocal quirks and general vibes about how they Are. Feeling abruptly uprooted from that to do it all over again but with a huge roster of brand new characters. Also really wanting to revisit older characters that are near and dear to me that I do feel I know very well.

And also like??? A very sudden distraction and almost instant loss of interest is like. Hell on earth hell on earth. Like as much as I fucking miss SV already and as much as I really wanted to keep working on my projects about it (had a whole AU going and everything) literally I Could Not get myself back into it even if I tried really really REALLY hard. And that is SO upsetting????? It's such a specific thing.

Hhhghgh got. Distracted thinking about PMD LMFAOO making that a separate post tbh but like. Main point is replaying it a bit reminded me of the importance of being able to slow down and really sit with a game. It's characters and story and what it has to say. And even now, I'm already getting the Hell feeling of needing to chase whatever can grasp me and hold me. When will I stop chasing my own tail??? When does it end??? Will I ever be able to finish my projects???? Will I ever be able to play a video game like a normal person?????? I'm launching my own ass into 2013. Not even in a woe nostalgia type of way, but in a I really just had Two Interests and that was it way. I'm blowing this whole building up.

#also this is way genshin has been on the way back burner for me lately like. it takes up SO much brain room.#fucked up gacha tactics aside LMFAO the lore and characters and potential for antics is a huge draw for me #which. eats up so much brain room.#i'm really thankful splatoon is like. has lovable characters for sure had an insane amount of lore if you wanna look for it.#but really it is just like a snack food game. none of that shit matters! i'm just here to have a gay ass time.#i am getting sv dlc bc i am deeply invested in sv and i deeply desire like. having it hold my attention again.#IDK IDK HONESTLY. maybe i just have a skill issue. alledged highly speculated by my therapist undiagnosed adhd.#anyway i do have some sillies about genshin i'm considering posting just sketch art of my genshin sillies #projects i said i wanted to finish and simply didn't. may never end up revisiting again. sad!#i always get stuck somewhere during the art process like. at dialogue or at linart or at coloring or at coloring bg (different beasts)#but for now i guess i'm just gonna play pokemon. i think that's what i wanna do. maybe draw.#hhghgmnfhgg THAT DAMN TIMELOOP. ALWAYS IN THAT DAMN TIMELOOP.#i think today i will play video game :) and then draw :) and then play video game :) and draw :) and th--#what the fuck ever!!!!!!!!!!! drink three coffees about it asshole!!!!!!!!!! coofe.....

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garagepanic · 9 months

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question for dear fellow artists and content creators ~

I was wondering... for now which plateforms are suited the best for posting n/s/f/w arts/contents, regarding both the plateforms rules and their audience general response to that type of content ?

Twitter (i won't call it X okaayyy this is my boomer moment) seems to be the "best" in terms of """"non censorship type of guideline""""" but since El*n took the helm, the website has turned into a vast wasteland dominated by right-wingers and incels. I've seen artists here and here expressing their discomfort, especially as marginalized creators, so I kind of falter around the idea to having just a side account on it. The uncertainty of not being able to see a long-term run with it is kind of frustrating tbh.

About Tumblr... I kind of feel "lost" about their own guidelines (i've seen literall p*rn, reminiscent of the pre-2018 era before the earthquake and it wasn't flagged or anything. It was from a very specific niche tho, and not from a "fandom type of community" so to speak. To be frank, I don't know if discourses, or moral panics are a daily thing here, or if people are religiously minding their own buisiness. That's to say, if I were to share this type of content, I'd likely create a separate account.

It was something that I had in mind for quite some times. I don't have anything in store to post unfortunately~, I'm simply dipping my toes in the water and testing it out here and there uhuh

#question #the big ass “gay s*x” 3D letters #i lost the idgaf war #listen i've seen people whom were paying their taxes being doxxed by kids younger than party rock anthem by lmfao

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lesmis-lesmisera-lesohno · 3 years

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@aromantic-enjolras, @p-trichor

*awkward wave* hiiiiiiii:))))

okay so i know i said i would write this last week, but tbh, last week was a w e e k (fuckyouanxiety)

anyways, i have written down my headcanons for the werewolf au! it is a bit of a mess, and it probably doesn't make much sense but! i did it!:))

i honestly wasn't planning on writing this much tho, it kinda got away from me lol, but i would have written more tbh, if it wasn't already so long

(also now that i have written this i really want to draw this whole thing, somebody please s t o p m e)

(also if anyone wants to take this shitty au idea and actually write a fic, i would be absolutely delighted! and! i would love to do art for it!:))))

enjoy this mess i guess:))))

General:

This is a fantasy au, set in a slightly ambiguous time period (I'm thinking anywhere from the middle ages, to today, mixed together and thrown in a blender:)))

Werewolves and other monsters live side by side with humans, but often have to hide their identity for fear of discrimination and unjust prosecution

Les Amis de l'ABC Is an activist group, fighting against the discrimination of werewolves and other monsters

The group consists of both humans and non-humans

Grantaire:

He was born with lycanthropy, as the result of a curse placed upon his parents before he was born

His parents didn't want a wolf child, so they abandoned him in the woods as a newborn, where he was found by an old woman who took him in

The old woman had been raised by witches, and though not skilled in the art of magic herself, had quite the talent for medecine, and remedies, and was well equipped to take care of a young werewolf

And so, for most of his childhood, Grantaire and the old woman lived peacefully and happily in a small cottage in the woods

The old woman taught him to read and write, and gifted him with books on mythology, art, and magic, and on full moon nights, he would be allowed to roam the woods

When he was eight he met Enjolras for the first time

They never knew each other by name, they were just two children playing together in the woods, referring to each other as 'friend'

A year later Grantaire tells Enjolras about his lycanthropy, and the following week, Enjolras stops coming to the woods

Grantaire learned to keep his lycanthropy to himself after that

When he was seventeen, Grantaire left the safety of the small cottage behind, wanting to explore more of the world than the woods he had been raised in. He left the old woman with the promise that he would write home with tales of his adventures, and would visit whenever he was in the area.

A werewolf is not, as you might have heard, some kind of vicious, mindless beast. If you stay out of it's path and treat it with respect, it should pose no particular danger, to anyone but the fools stupid enough to threaten it.

Unfortunately most people do not know this fact, and Grantaire quickly learned to hide everything that about himself that tied him to the wolf.

He was nineteen, when the old woman he had lived with his whole childhood, sent him a letter telling him not to come visit anymore. A while later he found out that she had been arrested and executed for alleged crimes against the country. And he realized, that her letter had not been her rejecting him, but a warning, and that her only crime had been housing a werewolf.

Around the same time, he started drinking. He started sleeping around with anyone who would take him. And he fell into cynicism and depression

The boy who had been raised with love and care, and had gone out into the world, hopeful, and eager to create his own path, had now seen just how cruel the world could be to anyone it deemed a threat, or viewed as different. He was done fighting.

When he was twenty five he met Les Amis de l'ABC, and he fell in love. For the first time in six years, he felt hope again.

Enjolras:

Ejolras was born with a tail. No one knew exactly how or why, except maybe his parents, but to them the fact that their only child had a tail, was their greatest shame, and as far as they were concerned, it had to stay hidden at all times

In every other aspect, Enjolras was perfect. Having been born with beautiful golden locks, and radiant blue eyes, and being rather mild marrered, his parnents would recieve many compliments on their child's good looks and behaviour

Enjolras might have been a soft spoken child, but his favourite thing was playing outside in the woods, much to his parents frustration. Enjolras also did not like his parents very much

Enjolras' parents were very conservative, very outspoken against anything they didn't agree with, and most of all, not very good people. Not that anyone but Enjolras seemed to notice this, they were wealthy after all, and were respected members of the community.

When Enjolras was six, he met Grantaire and he made his first friend

Grantaire doesn't care that Enjolras has a tail. Grantaire doesn't care that Enjolras likes to play outside, and gets dirty sometimes. Grantaire doesn't care that he doesn't wear the dresses his mother buys him, or that he isn't really a girl.

Grantaire is weird, and he is Enjolras' favourite person

When Grantaire tells him that he is a werewolf, Enjolras knows his parents are wrong

He gets in a fight with them.the following week, and the next day his parents hire a surgeon to remove his tail, and he is shipped off to boarding school

Enjolras cries for weeks after that

At school he meets Combeferre and Courfeyrac, and they quickly become his most trusted friends

It's not until years later that he realizes that neither of them are completely human, and he accepts them fully , just as they have always accepted him

When he is thirteen, his two best friends are sent away, and for the first time in seven years he feels entirely alone

At sixteen he runs away from home, and from school, and from everything he has ever known.

The first of the amis he meets is Bahorel. They meet after he gets into a fight with three people twice his size, and Bahorel saves him. He proceeds to call Enjolras an idiot, and takes him under his wing.

Bahorel is seven years older than him, and a werewolf, and he introduces him to Feuilly and Jehan (a human and a wood nymph)

He meets Joly and Bossuet next

Joly is dabbling in witchcraft next to his medical studies, an Bossuet is his boyfriend who has been cursed from an early age with bad luck

Enjolras takes to his new friends instantly and together they form Les Amis de l'ABC

Enjolras is twenty and he is the leader of an activist group fighting for the rights of every creature and human alike

Two years later Combeferre and Courfeyrac finds him again

They find him by accident, having heard of the group and decided to attend a meeting. The moment Enjolras sees them, his eyes light up, and he embraces them both in a crushing hug. The rest of the group warms up to them immediately

A year later Grantaire joins them, and Enjolras doesn't recognize him

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wof-reworked · 4 years

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Moonwatcher + plants

-Moon is used to being alone. It doesn’t really bother her to spend her time somewhere away from other dragons, if anything, it’s a bit of a relief to be away from them, to get some silence both mentally and literally.

-This leads to her spending a lot of time in her room or the library, eventually just turning into her periodically borrowing scrolls and then returning to her room to read them

-With all this time to herself, she starts to notice how barren and closed in it is, not the most friendly environment.

-She starts gardening at a certain point, beginning with small, shade friendly gardening pots in her and Kinkajou’s room. It’s nice, to be surrounded by living things that don’t demand anything from you except some water and sunlight.

-Kinkajou is delighted by it, being best friends with Tamarin means she knows a healthy amount about plants, and is more than willing to help push Moon in the right direction in the beginning.

-This also brings Moon and Tamarin closer together too. It’s... nice, to be included and to feel like you have something in common besides just both having a mutual friend, and Moon finds herself really enjoying Tamarin’s company. Slowly, Moon starts joining Kinkajou and Tamarin’s hangout sessions together.

-(Most of these hangout sessions involve lying in a pile together braiding flowers together and exchanging information while snacking on fruit. It’s the most relaxed fun Moon’s had in years)

-When she’s older and has her own place to live with Winter and Qibli, she starts filling the house with plants,

-It’s lovely at first, and then turns more into clutter, especially since there’s only so much sunlight to go around, with every window and patch of sunlight crowded full of pots, each reaching to the sun.

-With a small intervention from Qibli and Winter, she transfers quite a few outside, lining their house with bright flowers and thick leaves opening out to create a soft little wall of green.

-The crown jewel of her gardens is the greenhouse, built as a surprise gift from the combined efforts of Qibli/Winter/Kinkajou

(Qibli distracts her by taking her on a celebratory birthday travel to the Sand and Sea Kingdom to look at rare books and say hi to Turtle while Winter puts his scavenger sanctuary building skills to use and Kinkajou, in her words, “provides moral support”.)

-Moon adores it. The humidity and the greenery remind her of the rainforest, and if she closes her eyes, it feels like being a small dragonet again, waiting for her mom to come and see her.

-It becomes her baby and stockpiled full of her favorite jungle plants, each one cared for meticulously until they fill the whole space, leafy vines crawling up the glass over neat beds of verdant plants and bright flowers.

-The more she works on the greenhouse, the more it becomes her safe space when she’s stressed, or angry, or especially: worried or anxious.

-At her worst, she’s fallen asleep there, curled up between the rows of plants and letting their soft rustling coax her into rest.

-(There’s a bunch of scenarios you could do with this, maybe her greenhouse burns down sometime or w/e, go wild)

-Moonwatcher also learns how to cook through her garden, having plenty of herbs/vegetables/fruits now to make into... something.

-Since cooking in Pyrrhia is more for show than every-day life, a lot of what she makes is simple snacks for Qibli/Winter, things like jam/dried fruits/fried vegetables/occasionally little tarts and pies.

-(Qibli snacks on all her carrots and she pretends to be mad about it but makes a note to plant more for him and not-so-secretly leaves them out in their common space)

-Qibli is keen to learn along with her and help, though his baking skills in the kitchen are a bit... lacking.

-(you cannot possibly tell me this man would have the chops to follow a recipe properly, I’m sorry but Qibli is 500% the person to go “we can just add [vague, nonsensical amount of necessary ingredient] and it’ll be fiiiiine” and have his baked goods turn out completely weird, if he doesn’t manage to set on the oven on fire in the process anyway cause he forgot about it. He’s not hopeless but he can only cook like maybe basic cookies and any sort of thing that follows a “just fry it for like 10 minutes” recipe and that is it)

-Moon kind of balances this out, but most of her cooking sessions with Qibli are more about them just having a good time together rather than,,,, producing something edible.

-Winter is better, but doesn’t really enjoy cooking that much, though he’ll help if asked. Mostly he’s happy to eat what Moon makes, as well as occasionally (of her own volition) getting her to help cook food for his scavengers

-Since both Qibli and Winter are away quite a bit (Qibli’s still very much dedicated to Queen Thorn, and Winter has been known to spend days away at the scavenger sanctuary), part of Moon’s way of welcoming them back is by presenting them with pre-cooked food she’s made

-(Both of them also bring her food along with them, just Winter pensively snacking on some fish jerky when he’s focusing or Qibli popping raspberries in his mouth while he flies)

-Moon also keeps a bowl of fruit out for guests, which Kinkajou gleefully exploits

-(Kinkajou and Tamarin (slash now with Anemone) start having their hangout sessions at Moons house solely for the fruit, like yeah there’s probably more in the rainforest, but is it filled with the same kind of love and attention??? I think NOT)

-Moon hesitantly but still firmly and kindly helping teach Peacemaker about strawberry growing,,, observing him carefully always out of the corner of her eye,,,, always unsure of what to make of him or what to do,,,

-Peacemaker and Moon’s relationship starts and somewhat rotates around their gardening together, he views her as an older sister/mentor and Moon,,, doesn’t know how to feel about him, but always makes room for him anyway, and tries to do right by him

-He can’t understand why she keeps him at wing-length away, for a while he doesn’t even know to be hurt by it since he just assumes that’s how Moon is, but the older he gets and the more he sees her with her partners and her friends it starts to unnerve and frustrate him, especially because of how much he looks up to her and respects her

-Hope will always be his mom first and foremost, but Moonwatcher’s been there in his life basically since he was hatched, she’s basically family to him so why does she always act so weird around him? Did he do something to her that he forgot?... Why does she look scared of him sometimes? What does she even have to be scared of?

-Despite her failings, Moon isn’t truly cold with Peacemaker, and she’s definitely a wonderful teacher. What she is with him is calm, patient, and empathetic, but also occasionally too quick to scold/shut him down, and doesn’t engage with him as much as he, maybe, wants her to.

-She knows, deep down, that Peacemaker is a completely different dragon, she’s seen his future and knows what he’ll become (a peaceful, relaxed strawberry farmer who dies happy and loved), but it’s so hard to not catastrophize about him somehow turning out like Darkstalker, or the spell on him somehow being broken/worn down

-Whether Moon ever tells Peacemaker about Darkstalker is up to you tbh, I’m not really sure if she would or just let it hang there uncomfortably until Peacemaker accepts it or gets so frustrated he either makes her tell him or stops seeing her

-Either way, she has her garden, her friends, and her family, and it makes her happy and keeps her safe and centered

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was supposed to be pride content about Qinterwatcher but I couldn’t get it out fast enough (thank you June, for completely kicking my ass. How homophobic of you >:/ ) and it turned into a study on Moon (as well as me trying to figure out what the jade winglet would do after school). I hope you enjoy this anyway, even if it is now July!!! I tried to sprinkle in a bunch of Qinterwatcher anyway, though a lot of it is Moon-centered (you can also read some Kinkamoon into this if you’d like lol)

(as always I encourage you 500% to use this headcanons in your writing or your art or w/e, no credit needed but please send it to be me if you do I Will Actually Cry)

tl;dr: how to grow a social circle and two excellent boyfriends in 6 easy steps, starring Moonwatcher and her fam

#wings of fire #wof #moonwatcher #Qibli #winter #kinkajou #peacemaker #tamarin #wof headcanons #my headcanons #see guys I swear I still make content #(just very slowly now apparently)#(fUCKIGN SIDE-EYES THAT SANDWING HEADCANON LIST THAT'S BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR LITERALLY 5 MONTHS)#hope you guys like this- I'm a little nervous about it honestly ^^;;#character stuff like this has been a bit of my weak spot #at least with wof #I know it's not as thought-out or intricate as the tribe stuff

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dumbepiphany · 4 years

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26 Klance Fanfiction Recommendations

There is a heck of a lot of good Klance fanfiction out there. And while some may be easy to find because of how popular they are, there are many others that are buried in the depths of ao3 that I feel like more people should be reading!!

A lot of these are quite popular fics that you probably would have heard of already, but I hope there’s something in here that’s new, and that you’ll enjoy reading!

All are recommended for Teen And Up Audiences, so please be mindful!

1. Hearts Don’t Break Around Here

By Klancekorner on AO3

Description: Lance and Keith have been best friends since first grade. Lance’s brain is always on overdrive and Keith’s blunt, realistic ass can never keep up. They both come to realize that sometimes you can learn a lot about loving yourself by loving someone else.

Words: 135,555 | Chapters: 13/13 | Warnings: creator chose not to use

My note: This is my absolute favourite Klance fic. Childhood friends to lovers- what more could one ask for?

2. Squad Up

By astralscrivener on AO3

Description: In which the team is in high school, and Lance makes a group chat (ft. college graduates Shiro, Matt, and Allura). (A generic bandwagon chatfic because why are these so fun to write????)

Words: 327,144 | Chapters: 140/140 | Warnings: none

My note: The chatfic format is super fun to read. A lot of fluff!!

3. A Midsummer Night’s Meme

By astralscrivener on AO3

Description: Same group chat, new shenanigans. Or, the team's final summer before Keith, Lance, Hunk, and Shay begin college, as Pidge navigates the waters of young love, Keith and Shiro deal with family issues, Lance has a trip to Cuba, and more. Sequel to Squad Up.

Words: 79,457 | Chapters: 27/27 | Warnings: none

My note: If you read Squad Up, you must read the sequel! The storyline is really cool and the boys are Soft:)

4. Ignorance is Bliss

By YouAreInAComaWakeUp (Nikanaiko) on AO3

Description: As it turns out, learning that your house is haunted makes the ghosts a lot more aggressive. Who knew? Ah, well. At least one of them is hot. And he's the less-evil one, too, so that's always a plus.

Words: 172,675 | Chapters: 30/30 | Warnings: graphic depictions of violence

My note: Oh God this fic. C’mon, it’s Ghost Keith and Human Lance... and they bond... need I say more?

5. Shut Up and Dance With Me

By wittyy_name on AO3

Description: Lance and his friends have been regulars at the Altea Dance Studio for years. Not just for classes, but to hang out, practice, and spend time with good people who love dancing. Every year, they audition to be one of the few representing Altea at the regional dance competition. Lance always auditions solo, but this year he misses out on auditions and blows his chance to participate. And so does his self-proclaimed rival, Keith. Luckily, Shiro comes up with a brilliant plan: convince Lance and Keith to audition as a duo.With a little convincing, and a lot of effort, these two might just be able to pull it off and go to regionals... or they might crash and burn.

Words: 249,827 | Chapters: 15/15 | Warnings: none

My note: One of the first fics I read. Super sweet and fluffy, great storyline, complete with art by wolfpainters! Tbh any dance AU fic is a good fic

6. Chivalry is Dead

By Sheksper on AO3

Description: Prince Lance was an adventurer. That was all there was to it. So, when he's suddenly assigned a new knight to follow him around, all Lance can think is that his freedom is being taken away, and it's all because of the red-clad, mullet boy named Keith, who is honestly just trying not to lose his job on the first day.

Words: 61,071 | Chapters: 17/17 | Warnings: graphic depictions of violence

My note: Prince Lance and Knight Keith is a concept to die for and it’s written so so well in this story!!

7. Nothing’s Quite As Sweet

By dimpleforyourthoughts on AO3

Description: Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street.

Words: 50,369 | Chapters: 1/1 | Warnings: none

*You need to have an account to be able to see this fic!*

My note: A traditional must-read cafe/cat shelter fic! It’s got coffee and cats... the Softness levels are through the roof

8. The Fallen and the Wandering

By creeshtar on AO3

Description: Keith was born into a world of ice and darkness, with no sun to rise or stars to shine. In spite of humanity’s best efforts, the world is meeting a slow, but certain doom, which can only be stopped if the sun is found and replaced in the sky. Keith, meanwhile, is content to collect stars and eventually replace them in the sky, alongside a new partner that he can’t seem to help but gravitate towards--until a mysterious person with inhuman power goes on a warpath to find the sun for herself. Keith and his partner are unwittingly thrown into the race to find the sun first, only for Keith to discover, to his dismay, that it may be closer than he could’ve ever wanted.

Words: 106,108 | Chapters: 12/12 | Warnings: creator chose not to use

My note: The writing and the AU concept is gorgeous and intriguing, props to the author for the world-building and the gratuitous fluff and angst!!

9. Love Interest

By iwriteshipsnotsailthem on AO3

Description: Lance is getting his big American debut on a new T.V series called Voltron. He's excited and nervous about how amazingly talented and famous his cast members are. But most importantly Lance is anticipating meeting his character -Leandro's- love interest in the show. Who happens to played by the be mega famous, mega hot Keith Kogane. But due to a misunderstanding during their first encounter, Lance now thinks Keith is the biggest jerk alive. Keith now has to try and fix it, for the sake of the show, and also for the sake of their on screen romance, which may start venture off screen as well.

Words: 195,400 | Chapters: 50/50 | Warnings: creator chose not to use

My note: If you love Klance and you love Leakira, then get ready for... Klance as actors portraying Leakira!!

10. (Unofficially) VLD- Season 9

By hoelko on AO3

Description: The Universe has been saved. The war is over. Voltron is no longer needed. But that's the thing about the Universe. It's always getting bigger.

Words: 225,777 | Chapters: 15/15 | Warnings: none

My note: This fic was everything the fandom deserved but never got. Hoelko is our God. Worship this fic.

11. ‘Til We Meet the Dawn

By angstinspace on AO3

Description: Keith is a mage and Lance is a knight, and they've been best friends since childhood. For years, Keith has known that Lance carries a dark secret: that if he doesn't kiss his true love before he turns twenty, he'll die. Now only three days remain before Lance's twentieth birthday, and Keith and Lance are sent on a dangerous quest to rescue Romelle––who Lance believes will be the one to break his curse. But what he doesn't know is that Keith is already hopelessly in love with him.

Words: 75,242 | Chapters: 1/1 | Warnings: none

My note: Magic! Fantasy! Knights! Curses! True love! Angst! Fluff! All that good jazz rolled into one glorious fic!!

12. Follow My Lead

By Klancekorner on AO3

Description: Becoming “hook-up buddies” with Lance Sanchez was just supposed to be a small, insignificant fraction of Keith’s life. But of course, things don’t work out that way at all. aka a Friends w/ Benefits AU that nobody asked for where Lance wears sleeveless hoodies, plays basketball in abandoned parking lots, and follows his dreams, and Keith comes from a high class, reputable family who never let him have any dreams of his own. They go home with each other and don't expect it to matter until it totally does.

Words: 117,792 | Chapters: 14/14 | Warnings: NSFW

My note: Everyone needs a little bit of no-strings-attached-turns-into-catching-feelings in their life! Just be careful with the nsfw!

13. Something Just Like This

By Klancekorner on AO3

Description: Keith reluctantly becomes the counselor for the Red Cabin at Camp Voltron, a summer camp in the middle of buttfuck nowhere that his older brother Shiro has worked at for years. Already unhappy with the current position that he is in, Keith prepares himself for a boring, sweaty, miserable summer; and his frustration only grows when he meets the counselor for the Blue Cabin- an insufferable asshole with a horrible sense of humor, a devilish smirk, an inexplicable animosity towards the Red Cabin, and a smile that literally looks like the sun. Needless to say Keith is really, really unprepared for the next three months.

Words: 58,800 | Chapters: 12/12 | Warnings: NSFW

My note: A Very Soft Fic. A truly Soft Soft Fic. It has little kids in it,, it’s adorable and fluffy,, makes you squeal into your pillow,, please read!

14. The Marks We Make

By wittyy_name on AO3

Description: Lance McClain constantly dreams of the day he'll finally meet his mysterious soulmate. They don't say much, if anything at all, but they leave him with gorgeous paintings temporarily tattooing his skin. It's not exactly the situation he hoped for, but when he feels the connection between them, he can't bring himself to resent them. As much as he wishes his soulmate would just talk to him, he's resigned himself to being patient. In the meantime, he has a loving family and good friends to help him get by. Keith Kogane dreads the day he'll finally meet his obnoxious soulmate. He's just an art student who's struggling to find his place in the world. There's so much he hasn't been able to control in his life, and the thought of having a soulmate, just another thing in his life which he also has no control over yet can't do anything about, is a little terrifying. So he ignores the words that occasionally appear on his skin. He has other things to focus on: like being a new student at a big university where his childhood friend and step-brother go.

Words: 255,302 | Chapters: 12/12 | Warnings: none

My note: The soulmate AU that everyone needed. Complete with art by wolfpainters!

15. Lucky in Rivalry

By iwriteshipsnotsailthem on AO3

Description: After moving back to his hometown after ten years, Keith is being shoved back into the life of an unexpected individual who was his so called 'rival' from music school. How is Keith supposed to explain to Lance that he hasn't sung for a crowd in all those years after his disappearance? Lance is the town's favourite gig at Voltron Cafe. He's lively and has the voice that makes girls go weak. He's also one half of the cutest couple in school. Him and Lotor are what everyone wants in a relationship, but behind closed doors it's a bit of a different story. How much more can Lance take before he cracks?

Words: 134,484 | Chapters: 45/45 | Warnings: creator chose not to use

My note: True love, music and singing, high school drama, this fic has the whole lot! Give it a go, you won’t regret!!

16. Drummer Boy

By Klancekorner on AO3

Description: Lance is 100%, without a doubt, straight. He has the perfect girlfriend and has never wanted anything more. But suddenly his world is being turned upside down by the boy playing the drums at his local bar--a boy who happens to be very good looking, very gay, and very very interested in Lance. aka: Good-Boy Lance has a crisis when he meets Keith because he's so damn attractive, and Keith is a little ho that is way too promiscuous and open about his sexuality. The become friends. Confusion and sexual tension ensue.

Words: 50,188 | Chapters: 11/11 | Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con

My note: This one is a great read, but it’s a pretty sexy fic. Read the warnings and stay safe, avoid it if it isn’t your cup of tea!

17. On Thin Ice

By anonimina on AO3

Description: This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to "work on his footwork". There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater. Or: the not-so-simple story of two people trying to navigate the complexities of living in an ever changing world and face the traumas they've buried far away from the sunlight.

Words: 205,795 | Chapters: 11/11 | Warnings: none

My note: Figure skating and hockey playing! This fic is emotional and fluffy and very very adorable! Just a warning- it’s unfinished, so the last chapter is basically a summary and dot points of what the planned ending was!

18. Life After Death

By taylortot on AO3

Description: Fear clambers into his mouth and tastes bitter on his tongue. “Who are you?” It takes him a moment to register the sound of his own voice. She stares at him. Blinks. “Lance, please, this isn’t time for one of your jokes--” He furrows his eyebrows and struggles to sit up, to stop leaning into the cradle of her arms. “I’m not--I’m not...joking.” * After sacrificing himself to save Allura, Lance wakes up in a strange new world where the only thing he knows is a deep connection to a boy he doesn't remember.

Words: 90,074 | Chapters: 13/14 | Warnings: none

My note: The Feels. The Feels are strong with this one. Memory loss always hits super hard, be prepared for angst (but also comfort and fluff!)

19. Homesick at Space Camp

By Kobot on AO3

Description: Lance realizes he's been an asshole to Keith, and on a diplomatic mission to a key planet for the Voltron alliance he... overcompensates.

Words: 74,280 | Chapters: 15/15 | Warnings: graphic depictions of violence

My note: Fake marriage AU! FA K E M a R Ri A G E AU!!! Need I say more?

20. I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor

By xShieru on AO3

Description: "So like in 'Step Up'?" Allura shrugs. "Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it's just like in 'Step Up'." The smile that she sends Shiro's way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn't believe in dance camps. Lance McClain's dancing career begins and ends with Keith. Keith just wants to find out what Lance's deal is.

Words: 43,295 | Chapters: 7/7 | Warnings: none

My note: A steamy, fluffy dancing AU fic! I read this ages ago so I can’t really remember what happened but it was GOOD!!

21. Watercast

By fishwrites on AO3

Description: Shiro has been a Galra prisoner for over a year; with his flight feathers clipped and unable to fly. Desperate to escape, he jumps overboard while being transported to the capitol on a Galran ship. Lance is a merman who saves him from drowning. Keith thinks Shiro is about to become mermaid dinner. Hunk just wants Lance to stop going to the surface all the time, dammit! (AU where Avians (winged folk), Galra, humans and merfolk cohabit earth. Shiro and Keith are avian soldiers, Lance is the youngest son of a Queen, Hunk is also a merman and Pidge is still looking for her family. They get caught up in a war.)

Words: 205,901 | Chapters: 15/16 | Warnings: graphic depictions of violence

My note: Avian Keith and Merman Lance is the forbidden love story that everyone needs in their life tbh. It’s been on hiatus for a while so idk about the final chapter, but it’s definitely worth a read!

22. Call Me, Beep Me

By orphan_account on AO3

Description: Where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there.

Words: 85,591 | Chapters: 10/10 | Warnings: none

My note: Arguably the most popular Klance fanfic (after Dirty Laundry of course)! You’ve probably heard of it, but if not, do read!! Wrong number fics are a godsend

23. Calling Me to Come Back

By aknightley on AO3

Description: Keith is a witch who owns a shop where he breaks curses on both magical items and people under spells. Love spells, family curses passed down generations, cursed heirlooms lurking the attic -- he can handle them all. But one day a boy named Lance walks into his shop, and his curse is darker and more difficult to break than anything Keith has ever seen before: the curse is draining his magic, and without his magic, Lance will die.

Words: 50,464 | Chapters: 1/1 | Warnings: none

My note: Will Witch Keith break Lance’s curse, or will Lance die!?!?!? And will they fall in love along the way???!?! Read on to find out:D

24. Say My Name (And Every Colour Illuminates)

By parchmints on AO3

Description: Lance never thought he had a soulmate, but when he finds himself dreaming about a boy on Varadero Beach and in a southwestern desert, he learns they have an incredibly rare soul link–-one that allows them to form an unusually strong bond before they meet, but also exposes their greatest vulnerabilities to each other.

Words: 27,833 | Chapters: 1/1 | Warnings: none

My note: Really well-written, relatively short but so so sweet! Another soulmate AU (honestly one of my favourite AUs) except this time it’s dreamscape:)

25. Video Killed the Radio Star

By europa_report on AO3

Description: In which Keith is the guy who suddenly finds himself a single-parent to his two nieces, and Lance is the charming radio host who might be his only voice of reason in this mess.

Words: 69,468 | Chapters: 11/11 | Warnings: none

My note: This is so cute, I almost cried. Any fic with kl interacting with little children is an instant KO for my heart:’)

26. Smile for the Stars

By maIikcutie on AO3

Description: Though he's been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn't sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company. The universe is cruel.

Words: 72,921 | Chapters: 9/9 | Warnings: major character death

My note: Please don’t read unless you are prepared for a MAJOR character death! If you’re up for it, prepare a box of tissues, and good luck, my friend!

And that’s all for my list! Hope you found something to your liking, happy reading folks!

#klance #klance fanfic #klance fanfiction #fanfiction recommendation #klance fanfiction recommendation #keith kogane #lance mcclain #keith x lance #fanfiction #voltron #vld #voltron legendary defender #voltron fanfiction

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judehayward · 4 years

Text

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… frankly i missed this ridiculous depressed little man so i’m gna try my hand at playing 2 charas again. the crowd grits their teeth in apprehensive nerves. it’s fine it’s fine it’s all FINE!!!!!!!!! also this is nai btw forgot to say. anyway. ahem. without further adieu.... his intro

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

ok to start w i won’t lie i’ve pasted in an old intro here bc i just hate intros i hate writing them i hate them................. bt it’s fine.......................... lets pretend this is all fresh n sexy n new....... bsically this is jst a disclosure tht this isn’t tht well written bc it’s old n stinky bt we’re all jst having fun here. bye

he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 2/3 months ago nw mayb bt... just some fun lore fr u all

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure……. hes always thot he ws straight… fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds… who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in san fran

as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws their son forcing them to b responsible n look after someone else. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh fgkhdfgh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Jude. personality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b.

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a bit, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam….. my bad fr :/

he has p bad insomnia so he like never sleeps fgjkhfgjkf he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif. he isn’t rly pushy abt it tho n tends to like.... take nothing seriously bt at the same time acts like he is??? like he’s very deadpan in everything he does

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets eating frm a cereal box without care in public. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

#radintro #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #jst implied bt never elaborated on #drugs tw #i think tht is all???

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judememories · 5 years

Text

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: oOoohohOhoh im in love w judas.... ju-Das juda-ah-ah... i rly missed jude tbh so i decided to bring him in as a second. i hv faith i cn manage jugglin i... ...... .. . have faith. in case u dnt kno it is me (nai) n this is like. the one (1) male chara iv ever managed to play longer than jst a few weeks. truly jst Zee Fruit Of My Womb! bt anyway. jst gna leap right in to the intro. we die like men

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger's rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying "fuck off" to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

he hd to do community service bc he kind of... hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he... stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like... drivin around the place sort of... tryin nt to cry.....KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw... broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room....... n thts where hes been 2 explain his absence to any of u whose charas had... connections w him Way Back When

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure....... hes always thot he ws straight... fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds... who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

frm this point on i wnt lie iv pasted in his old intro bc. a bich is lazy! a bich is predictable! and a bich! is! unapologetic!

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was bornthey just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work outthey were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plansthey literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a rly successful gallery in san fran

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit, especially kerouac, n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Judepersonality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b.

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a lot, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam..... my bad fr :/

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges along that Dramatic model jawline. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

#wshedintro #grief tw #death tw #mental illness tw #drugs tw #think thts all of them... theres other stuf in his past bt... think iv jst alluded to it rather than anythin specific so. winks!#mayb #abuse tw #bt idk... ok posts

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valvance-blog · 5 years

Text

( naomi scott → 23 → cis female ) VALERIE VANCE has been spotted hiding in the cabin. when you see HER, the odds of seeing them with a RAPIER in their hand is very likely. apparently their friends see them as the LOST SOUL - which makes total sense seeing as they’re COMPASSIONATE & FAITHFUL as well as being CARELESS & BLUNT. i just hope they can survive the apocalypse…

hi, guys! i’m s and i’m excited to show you one of my babies, val ♡

ABOUT

valerie vance. a name she carved herself and she’s proud of it. she learned to be independent and to survive on her own. however, every story, including her’s, always has a beginning. her story started off with a different name before changing it years later. everything was peachy, she didn’t need to learn how to be on her own, her parents loved her, and things were normal. it didn’t stay that way for long though. the girl was never interested in school and didn’t see a point in classes, graduating, and going to a good college. she made a decision not to go to college and barely tried while in school. it lead to a series of events in her life. detentions, failing classes, going to summer schools, partying, staying out late, drinking, dealing with frustrated parents, then being cut off from her parents when she turned eighteen.

at first, she jumped from friend to friend or stayed in her car while being in the process of trying to get a job. sooner than later, she was accepted as a waitress. she made improvements little by little as time passed. such as putting money on the side to pay for future rent bills and eventually, she was able to finally find a place to stay at.

DETAILS

traits

adventurous, blunt, careless, compassionate, determined, disorganized, doubtful, faithful, forgetful, impetuous, strong-willed, warmhearted

personality

valerie will say whatever comes to mind and at times, she’ll say things she won’t mean. however, if she does say something mean, she makes up for it she easily forgets thing. she’ll end up leaving her wallet, her car keys, clothes, etc. anywhere, so you’ll see her coming back to a place just to search because she forgot it

she tends to wear her heart on her sleeve. when she’s hurt, she’ll show it and when she cares, she’ll try to brighten your day. once in a while, depending on who she’s talking to or how her mood is, she will hide her emotions though.

also, if someone tells her something, but she thinks the opposite of it, she’ll be quite stubborn and won’t change her mind about it for a while. unless she finds the argument a great point.

friendships are ultimately the ones that make her feel loved, so anyone that’s close to her or one that she considers as family, she’ll be loyal to them for life and be on their side no matter what.

aesthetics

clothes all over the floor, making tears on jeans by your own hands, bedhead hair all day, trying to find something at the last minute but not being able to, setting multiple alarms

style

her fashion sense is inspired by a mix of anna coleman from freaky friday, beca mitchell from pitch perfect, and viola hastings from she’s the man

valerie’s closet consists of graphic shirts, jackets, jeans, sweat pants, cargo pants, and sneakers. her hair is usually longer than her shoulders and switches between leaving it down or having it in a ponytail

misc

some nicknames she goes by are v, val, and vivi (pronounced vee-vee, could also be spelled vv)

her hobbies include dancing, digital art, reading, and playing guitar

she’s considered going into digital art or music, but is kind of insecure and is unsure if she’ll actually be good enough career-wise

she’s one of the 8 friends

tl;dr a girl who was kicked out by her parents and is labeled as the lost soul bc she’s unsure what she wants to do, but wants to do art. however, she feels she’s not good enough for it. she also tends to say whatever she feels tbh

WANTED CONNECTIONS

ROOMMATE, someone that shares an apartment with v because she can’t afford paying rent by herself. their connection can be discussed on if they get along, don’t get along, or if they’re just acquaintances

EXES, can range from ended on good terms or bad and anything can be discussed.

EX-BEST FRIEND, they used to be super close, but something happened between them. whether they’re just distant or became enemies can be discussed.

CHILDHOOD, decided to just leave it as childhood because it can be different things. childhood friend, childhood enemy, childhood neighbor, childhood crush?? i’m open to anything

ENEMIES TURNED FRIENDS, they used to argue constantly, but then all of a sudden, they’re getting along and are there for each other now

ENEMIES W. BENEFITS, even though they loathe each other, they can’t seem to get rid one another sexually

LOVE/HATE, they tend to be opposites, but when it comes down to one of them having a problem, they seem to be there for each other

REGULAR CUSTOMERS, i guess someone/some ppl who went to the diner she works at frequently that they became regulars

CONFIDANT, they’re always there for one another. they have deeps talk and comfort one another.

IN GENERAL: friends w. benefits, past unrequited crushes, sibling-like friends, enemies

i’m open for anything!!

#walkers:intro

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darthputa · 5 years

Text

life update

We secured our first place 👌🏾 It was super easy and went by quite fast, we only had to look at the one(our fave) from our list. The property manager is super nice, he is even making an exception to their 2 pet limit and letting me bring my two dogs as well as @sailormoonmoon and I’s 2 cats! Our move in date is April 1st!

I will be able to go to UNT after all! After my uncle ruined my life by deciding last minute not to pay my tuition, I was in a HUGE depression. Like it was reallt bad lmao, and its kinda why Im not on social media as much.

But I decided I would succeed and do this on my OWN out of spite so I can throw it in his face when I graduate (hopefully on the deans list every year!!)

It is going to take longer than I anticipated to graduate because when I was in community college I was still a JW, so my life plans were to get married, pionneer(door to door minstry but full time) and have babies, so I didnt care about school and I had no plans to ever transfer. I never met with an advisor, I just kinda did it all on my own, starting with gameart, then graphic design, then animation and finally picking painting. But since I never met with an advisor( not that it would have helped maybe since I wasnt going to transfer anywhere at the time) I didnt take the right prerequisites( drawing 2, design 1 and 2 and art history classes, i just did art appreciation). I had managed to be able to graduate based on following a degree plan online but, now that I am transferring Im in a weird spot where I cant apply for concetration and take most classes bc Im missing those prereqs. We were able to come up with one work around, my community college doesnt make you take design 1 and then design 2 in order, you can take both at the same time, and since they didnt offer design 1 last summer but design 2, my advisor said I could take Design 2 at collin during the summer and then design 1 at UNT for fall xD. She was so nice and helpful, and she even responded to my emails at 10, 11 pm lol

My major currently is a BFA for Stuido Art w a concentration in Drawing and Painting, w potentially a art history minor PERO they also have this visual arts education degree that would certify me to

teach k-12 in texas. Im just unsure of one, extending my graduation date( cause even w/o that Im gonna be 26 when i graduate... T_T), if I want to be in the State of Tx for a while...if i even want to teach those grade( kids are mean to fatties), and if I can afford living when I cant work( since id have to do a full 15-18 hours to fast track and for the last semster its student teaching fulltime so I wouldnt be able to work and you dont get paid. I know there are grants but Im just a little hesitant. But it would put me on the path of having a stable job as soon as I graduate, and Id be graduating with 3 degrees...The alternative is to just go to graduate school for painting so I can get a masters and be able to teach college, and you dont have to get certified and you can teach anywhere, so I could go back to florida or whatever state I wanted i guess. But ye Ill have to kepe thinking about it! I have a few months to decide!

Ive started seeing a dr, a psychatrist and a therapist. I havent been able to do much with them since they were booked so far out, and now Im moving soon. But it was still nice to get it started. Ill have to find a new dr, a new gyno, a new psychatrist and a new therapist in Denton. Also gotta find a new vet for all the critters.

My moms paying for all the move in costs, we just gotta pay for furniture. If any of you want to contribute, my paypal is still paypal.me/darthputa

:3c, we would appreciate it!

My uncle hasnt spoken to me since that all went down and its so frustrating bc everyones telling me to get over it, to reach out to him, that he feels bad and wants to help and its like, no one cares about my feelings, and he can tell me that shit himself you know? Like fuck off lmao. So I have no intention of ever speaking to him again. He wants to initiate, cool, apologize and pay of the student loans im having to take bc of you bailing on your promise and we will be cool. If not well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hopefully my sister will be able to take care of you when ya old cause I aint.

Oh yea speaking of, I did Fasfa for the first time ever and im getting a good chunk of money to go to school. If I get these 2 other scholarships, Ill be able to pay my living expenses and bills as well and wont have to work(ideal!!) But ye, not even my mom is gonna be paying for my schooling, all on me and it feels good tbh. Tho she did offer to help me pay my student loans and I aint gonna say no lmaoooo

So yea thats where life is at the moment! Hopefully ill be able to be more active soon 👌🏾

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labyrinthus-magici · 5 years

Note

🔥!!!

Was looking at my muse list to think of something that stood out but since I couldn’t pick one I’ll just go w something that affects a lot of them but anyway like

As an autistic person I personally thing the large majority of the magi/snb cast is autistic coded! The fandom as a whole (although it’s not just the magi fandom tbf it’s kind of all of them I’ve been in) ignores that a lot!

I have seen autistic Judar before which is VALID but it’s really frustrating when Judar and Morgiana are the only two you see (and Mor as an afterthought) bc they’re the ones with the more “stereotypical” traits (i.e Judar being antisocial/struggling with empathy which is probably due to trauma and not even his autism considering that. studies show that it’s allistic people who lack empathy for autistic people usually and not the other way around but I digress!) and I’ve been told that other characters who are autistic coded can’t be bc they’re like idk??? competant lmfao??? I don’t get when allistic people say a character can’t be autistic bc im like lmao good to know you know every autistic experience and trait! Maybe you can educate me on my own disorder that you don’t have bc you clearly know so much about it that you couldn’t possibly be overlooking something!

Anyway my muses that I intentionally play as autistic and some of their main traits are bellow the cut bc it’s lengthy (The others I’m probably going to accidentally autistic code bc I. am autistic and it affects my writing but ahiodfhg)

Morgiana: Mor is a pretty obvious one, although I do love her autistic coding! So like most of these characters but with Mor esp you have to keep in mind that she canonly has c-ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder but when it’s not a single traumatic event but living long term in a traumatic environment such as an abusive home or any other variation) so that affects how many of her autistic traits present themselves. I do think that she’s become very good at masking (i.e hiding autistic traits) due to them being punished and because of that she is exhausted because masking is very taxing. I think that she started to unlearn this considerably once she joined the caravan with Leila’s encouragement but it was subtle bc while she did become close with Leila and Sahsa she didn’t open up entirely.

Once she gets to Sindria though and starts opening up I think that she’ll relax a lot because she can see others with the same traits who don’t have to hide them. Masrur especially points out that it’s important for her to stim and because she’s not the only one who deos this, everyone is understanding and accommodating at times when she’s non verbal/not able to speak.

One thing that really stood out to me about Mor is her hyperempathy. Because she doesn’t talk much, it’s hard for some people to pick up on, but Morgiana often has strong feelings of empathy for others. At first this is something that she struggles with, because it’s something that others have taken advantage of and used to hurt her, and because she’s afraid of her emotions as a whole. Later though, she learns that this can be her strength. Morgiana’s most powerful moments (in my opinion) like when she rescued Nadja, when she confronts Alibaba about the consequences of what the fog troupe is doing, and many other instances, are very emotionally charged. She’s also the first to empathize with the pirates that Madaura has brainwashed, and is able to get the others to empathize with them too.

Morgiana was my first favorite magi character (the reason I even got into magi in the first place tbh) bc it was so empowering to see someone with many of my traits in an empowering role of a hero because of those traits and not just with them as an afterthought!

Masrur: I’m going to focus on snb just because that’s what I’m more familiar with as I haven’t read the parts of magi that Masrur is spotlighted in in a long time although honestly all of this stuff applies to Masrur later but it presents itself differently because whilst autistic people never grow out of their traits, just like anything in a person, it changes and becomes more nuanced as a person gets older and gets more experience.

But Masrur is another autistic coded character! A lot of his traits can technically be explained away by canon/plot details however in this house we don’t think that because there’s technically an argument against autistic headcanons that it’s at all valid so ANYWAY

To start we have the way he sees himself as different from others, the way he goes to sit by himself because he feels like he can’t fit in with everyone, how he’s not like them, how he’s just a monster with a single purpose that’s already been fulfilled. Normally, I wouldn’t count this exactly as an autistic trait however Hinahoho is the one that comes to talk to him because he can relate to this experience which is autistic coded so! One thing that’s a common experience in autistic people is feeling quite literally inhuman, usually in the form of an alien, fairy, or fictional character (as it was in my case). This is becuase of the isolation that we normally face in childhood. For Masrur, he feels different from the others, like who he is isn’t someone that would be wanted and that’s something that I can relate to quite strongly. It’s not until he comes to the Sindria trading company, a place full of Neurodivergent coded characters (the ones that aren’t autistic coded are coded as other disorders as well such as ADHD and BPD among others I don’t think there’s actually one person there who’s neurotypical considering that. The entire theme of the Sindria trading company is that they take in people who are outcasts and in need of help and usually those people tend to be ND.) that he comes to realize that he does belong and that he is valued.

In addition to that we do see him stimming or doing stim like behaviors at times, he sometimes is talkative and others seems mostly or entirely non verbal, he tends to misunderstand social queues, struggles with subjects that he’s not interested in, etc.

I think it’s super important to take into account Masrur’s autistic coding because Masrur gets to be HAPPY. Like, yes, he does experience a lot of traumatizing things, but by the end of Magi he still has his family, he’s happilly married and a good father. These are things that people think autistic people can’t have or don’t deserve, and we never get to experience this things in character’s that are canonly autistic. So for me seeing an autistic coded character with such a positive development was something really positive, it’s the same way for a lot of these characters, seeing so many autistic coded characters getting the development that the deserved was what drew me to magi inittially if I’m perfectly honest. I didn’t know it at the time bc I had no idea I was autistic until last year (coincidentally from autistic friends also from this fandom!) but it really was what drew me in.

Hinahoho: Oh God where do I even START with autistic icon Hinahoho? I think, out of any snb characters Hinahoho is the most heavily autistic coded. Like there is literally no other explanation for his character I can think of whenever I see him I get so happy bc I’m like!!! Yes!!!! Autistic dad!!! I love him!!!

His backstory first and foremost focuses on his separation from the rest of the people in his tribe because he has unconventional interests (art!!) and that he isn’t able to pass the test and become and adult at the proper time. To start, being a “late bloomer” in things (or alternatively doing things too soon in some cases) is a common autistic experience. A lot of us due to many reasons (mostly due to ableism and lack of accommodations) we aren’t able to do the things that our peers do at the same times like drive, attend college, or move out of the house etc. This isn’t a lack of competence just that we aren’t able to go about things in a way that we are able to thrive in, and this is exactly what Hinahoho’s development highlights! He never does pass the warrior’s test in the way that is most traditional, instead Sinbad (whose an Adhd ND icon if you ask me but I haven’t added him to my muse list yet so aidofhg more on him and the other adhd icons in this series later ahidofhg) mentions how there’s multiple ways to be strong, how he doesn’t have to do things the same way as everyone else to be worth something.

There’s also the ableism that he faces from others in his tribe. In addition to judging him for not having become a warrior yet, he is bullied by others and treated like a child when he shouldn’t be. The others are so unkind to him for being “different” and “weird” and having “a personality like a fish left to dry” (WHATEVER THAT’S EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN LMAO I STILL DONT GET IT) that in his introduction he starts sobbing bc Sinbad said thank you to him like. Like God can I relate to this, honestly his experiences though not exactly the same as my own deeply resemble how I was before I found out that I’m autistic.

Then, after he learns to love and accept himself and marries Rurumu (Oh!! That’s another thing, people acted like he was unlovable but Rurumu always loved him. He never had to change who he was or mask his autistic traits and that’s SO important because honestly I can’t even imagine someone who isn’t also autistic wanting me romantically especially when I see shit about people taking autistic people to homecoming and calling it “inspiring” and “selfless” and a “learning experience”) he then turns around and teaches others to do the same. I noticed that he becomes very close to both Drakon and Masrur who are both autistic coded and he helps teach them to love themselves like??? LIKE???? and with Masrur he literally points out that he can empathize so points for hyperempathy again. I’m loving how many magi characters have hyperempathy that is ultimately good. Bc it’s usually a weakness in character’s that have it.

Drakon: Honestly once again idek where to start when his entire development is deeply autistic coded but we’ll start with his backstory. So to start there’s the power imbalance between him and his (neurotypical) siblings. Whilst he is the youngest, I think that the reason that he’s unfavored in the family and is the one always catching shit is because he’s autistic. This is something that happens so often is that when an autistic child has allistic siblings the allistic one is favored or if not favored they definetely get treated better because autistic children are particularly vulnerable and easy to manipulate. With Drakon’s childhood, although again the circumstances in my case aren’t exactly the same, I really am seeing my past self.

He was from a young age branded as a prodigy, told he was already basically an adult even though he was still a child, and this is so common with autistic children who show a semblance of talent in something. However, he isn’t praised for this in a healthy encouraging way, instead he’s given the responsibilities and expectations of an adult already. In addition to that, he is conditioned to mask his autistic traits, in addition to being taught to devote his entire self to his cause. The fact that he internalized everything so deeply that he had a breakdown when he realized that he wasn’t wanting to die for his cause, that he thought he had to follow everything to the letter all the way down to his deepest feelings, is in my opinion an autistic trait as I showed exactly the same traits for other matters, internalizing things at the same intensity. He social scripts quite a bit, meaning that he has a strong sense of “this is how things SHOULD be so if they AREN’T this way then everything is in RUINS and we have to fix it IMMEDIATELY” he has the roles he’s been given and he strongly believes that everyone else has a role. This does become far more healthy once he’s unlearned the toxic things that he was taught but he still does it, but in a healthy way. Everyone has a role to fulfill, and he’s strict about this, when people aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be becomes irritable and struggles to keep functioning as normal.

Then there’s the fact that his entire development is learning as a teenager that he’s become a monster, literally in this case, learning that he is hated so much that he resolves to leave his humanity behind, only to gain love and acceptance and learn to love himself in the form that he takes. While I don’t think every monster is autistic coded (as that would be problematic for obvious reasons) developments like this resemble our experiences so well? It’s a perfect metaphor for what it’s like, honestly.

One reason I think that it’s important for me personally to acknowledge Drakon’s autistic coding is because he’s a strong leader and people think that autistic people cannot be leaders, that we’re incompetent. So to see a character with my traits be someone noble, to become king even, and to thrive is something super positive for me because again it’s something that people think we cannot do that we cannot have but we really can.

Leila, Sahsa, & Nadja: With these three it’s mostly projecting just because we don’t see enough of them for them to really be that autistic coded HOWEVER tis my blog and you get to hear all my hcs asdfgh. I like to hc these three as autistic 1. bc Leila and Sahsa’s relationship is beautiful, and to contextualize that as a romance between two autistic women is really nice for me who as I mentioned before struggles to ever see myself having a love like that. 2. Leila and Sahsa take to Morgiana and encourage growth in her and I like the idea of them helping her to relax a little on hiding her autistic traits. 3. Because as an autistic person it’s difficult for me to interpret characters as not autistic (where not autistic is other’s defaults for me autistic is the default, so it would be more accurate for me to say I have some allistic headcanons rather than autistic ones lmao) I actually started headcanoning Leila as autistic by accident because I wrote a fic where she had a shutdown (which is when there’s too much stimulants i.e sound or sights etc. and we have to go lay down and rest and shut out the stimulants that are bothering giving us sensory overload.) and was like oh!! Time to make both her and Sahsa autistic bc who’s gonna stop me lmao.

Also one headcanon I have for Nadja (in addition to her joining Leila and Sahsa’s caravan with her family) is that after Morgiana rescued her she developed a special interest in adventure and heroism which is really cute on one hand bc she always wants to learn stories of heroes from the locals of the places they visit and her parents are like aw she’s talkative sometimes! She’s making friends!!! But on the other hand she tags along on Leila and Sahsa’s “oops lmao just fought an entire band of thieves again” adventures and is that “Let me see what you have!” “A KNIFE!!” “NO!!!” vine so ahidfohg be careful u fuckin superb lil baby.

Myron: Hers is a bit shorter since we don’t have a whole lot of her in canon, but her strict following of perceived social standards and social scripting makes me headcanon her as autistic. I also like the idea of her being autistic because so often people think that we can’t be proper or socially conscious but more often than not we overcompensate, the deal is that we struggle to understand neurotypical social cues not that we hate socializing.

Titus: Oh man I shouldn’t have put him so far down on my muse list bc this one is going to be lengthy. There’s a reason whenever I info dump about my son to people that I always call him Autistic Gay Icon Titus Alexius.

I’ll start with the fact that he struggles in social settings, i.e Sphintus thinking he’s so fuckin awkward at first. (Even tho I hc Sphintus as autistic too but like I said autistic is the default for me ahidfg) He has a special interest in magic, evidently, and is very info dumpy about it as times (though not as much as notable autistic icons Yamuraiha and Ugo). Also his best friends are Sphintus and autistic adhd icon Aladdin so like. Convenient. that the three most autistic coded kids at school becomes besties. asdfgh. Also none of the 4 magi are allistic tbh.

ANYWAY that aside and glossing over the whole separation he feels from the others (which I could go into length but it’s similar to Drakon and Masrur’s and Hinahoho’s deal and this is getting so long already oof) can we just talk about how fucking POSITIVE his Hyper-Empathy is for his character and the story?

Okay so like. Let’s start with the 5th district, how after just a little while there he immediately jumped into action with LMAO TIME TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE SKY IM BUSTING EVERYONE OUT LADS. Like. Was it dumb? Yes. Was it noble and valid? YES! And he STILL SHOWED UP TO CLASS READY TO FIGHT THE NEXT DAY. He also tried to call out Mogamett how many times? And still stood his ground with the 5th district, even when Mogamett tried to manipulate him by saying he only cared out of his selfish desire to befriend Marga, he immediately analyzed himself critically and came to the conclusion that no, he really just wanted everyone there to be safe and happy.

Then, when he goes to Reim and Just. Hhhhhh HE’S SO GOOD. AND HE HAS SO MUCH EMPATHY. The fact that he immediately begins changing things, is firm in that, but his main motivation is that he so desperately wants everyone to be safe and to live happily, the fact that his people’s problems are by extension his own because he feels real pain when others feel it. That’s hyper empathy and though it’s something that can be manipulated he doesn’t let that happen, he uses it for good!

When he gives his speech about why they need to abolish slavery in Reim asap, he begins to cry and exclaims that any one of them could die tomorrow, that they need to priooritize the people that are in the now who are suffering that they have the power to help their people and to liberate their country and appeals to everyone’s emotions that way and breaks through. Also the other changes he makes?? Like making the Colosseum into a LARPing spot? That’s so fucking good? What a nerd? I love him????

I can go into more detail with Titus but for time reasons I won’t but. We stan Autistic Gay Icon Titus Alexius here.

If you read all of this I love you sm thank you for reading this rambly mess. ahdiogfg

#Outside Of Destiny《OOC》#this is so LONG #though none of the stuff under the cut is negative or a rant #it's just me rambling abt how valid all my autistic muses are #ahdifoghdfg #but anyway yes Im an autism if u don't like that like #sucks to be you I guess lmfao #saeiqas

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louehvolution · 6 years

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the blogs who support louis but seem really happy w the way he's promoted or not, who explain away louis not doing the jingle ball circuit saying he is domesticated and at a different place in his life, that he is not keen on the hollywood system and finds it rather phoney etc etc. these are blogs mirroring what the public image of louis is -content being an occasional musician putting out songs for fans and not keen on being a global artist. These asks exactly match the public image pushed tbh

It’s a curious phenomenon that you can find denial about Louis’ unfair situation from all sections of the fandom. Everyone has an excuse. But in the end, the common denominator seems to be: Louis chose this and doesn’t deserve more than this.

It’s so frustrating and heartbreaking to see how successful HQ have been in getting people to buy into the image of him pushed from the start: of a slacker who got lucky and is less talented than the others; really only suited for work behind the scenes. That is the underlying message that’s been fed into the fandom and the GP for years.

But how can anyone who has listened to Louis, both in interviews speaking about music—and to his music, as well—think that? Anyone who has heard Steve or Bebe talk about him as an artist, about his creative talent and his vision and his hard work?

Louis is very talented and cares so much. And his genuine passion and interest in his art and the craft is palpable.

Music fascinates me on every level.

Music’s really important to me.

I’m a musician and I love writing music.

[It’s] one of the most rewarding things that I do [being in the studio] […] There’s definitely times when you’re not feeling great, and that’s actually—they’re actually the most fulfilling songs, because you might start the session feeling pretty grumpy, and even if by the end of it you’re still grumpy, you’ve created something. I know it’s far out to say, but it’s pretty crazy, that you know you’ve gone in and turned a negative essentially into a positive and made something out of it.

He also loves performing. How can anyone who’s seen him on stage doubt that?

Touring is probably one of the best sides of the job, if not the best side of the job. It’s a great thing to make an album and get out and tour it and then hear the fans sing it back. It’s why you do what you do.

He’s a perfectionist who is interested in developing as a solo artist, and who wants to prove himself as an artist.

With any new artist, because I am one, there is that six months of discovering and finding out, what the right specific sound is for you. I kind of always knew what I wanted to say, but playing around with how it sounds is something that’s difficult to get right.

When I finish this album, regardless of any success, I’m just going to be thinking ‘OK, I’ve got to make sure that the next single is a worthy follow up’.

[…] I’m a bit of a perfectionist. […] I’m thinking, OK, I want to do that again.

If I’m being honest, I feel like I’ve got a little bit of a point to prove.

And he is well aware of how the industry works and what it demands.

If you want to succeed in this industry, you’re gonna get left behind if you don’t work really, really, really hard.

When you’re in this industry, you’ve kind of just gotta keep going. I mean you’ve got to work hard. Only way to be successful.

All too aware.

There’s so much fucked up—there’s a lot of pressure in this job… so it really helps having that much [fan] support.

And he’s put work and thought into his upcoming album.

I actually quite recently realized there’s not enough uptempo at the moment. Just because when I was thinking about how it’s gonna change into a live show […] need to make it feel right live.

I have my own vision for how I want to sound, how I want my album to sound.

And these are just a few quotes. How about when he talked about how he thought doing an EDM collaboration would be a smart re-entry into the market for him? How does that add up to him not caring about his career? Or when he talked about how much he enjoyed performing at Ultra Festival, and would have liked to perform at Tomorrowland, both of which have massive crowds? Is it that Louis who wants to only play at local radio shows in the UK?

But even aside from that. Even supposing he wanted to limit himself to the UK and not mix with the LA crowd and just release music for his fans. Why would he go about it like this?

With “promo” that is focused on validating his stunts and a false image of him that’s damaging to his brand and insulting at a personal level? The least talented member of 1D who can’t be left to his own devices but must be kept in line by Simon and saved by his beard. With a team who smeared his name—from the bullshit tweets to the airport incident? A team whom he and his friends and collaborators have called out?

And he isn’t an indie artist. He’s a member of the biggest boy band in the world signed to Sony. And indie artists might follow different patterns of promotion, but they still perform, you know?

So nothing holds up. Not the idea that Louis doesn’t care and music is just a bit of a hobby for him. Not the idea of him happily waiting for his time to shine as a solo artist, or wanting to just work behind the scenes. Not that he doesn’t want to be a (global) performing artist.

Unless what you think is that he wants to throw away all the advantages he might have had in coming from 1D and go back to being at the level of an X Factor contestant straight out of the show, little more than tabloid fodder and known for his stunts rather than his music? Or follow in Simon’s footsteps and work in the business rather than be an artist?

It really comes down to what you think of Louis, as an artist and an individual. Because honestly, it takes more effort to believe the image they are trying to sell than to see through it if you’re paying the slightest bit of attention to him.

#anon #this is. unbelievably long. i'm sorry

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punkiio · 7 years

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I for the ask thing, just an over all unless you want a specific character.

Like... All of them?? Hell yeah I’ll do Peter because I loVE Peter

This is going to be hella long so.... Get ready

1: What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?Probably a very short amount of time.... He has like, a lot of energy

2 How easy is it for your character to laugh? Its hella easy to make him laugh!! He is almost always laughing and smiling... He is a very positive fella

3: How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?) Either thinking or playing his flute or pipes!!

4: How easy is it to earn their trust? Its pretty easy, especially since he is oblivious to a lot of things, including bad ones

5: How easy is it to earn their mistrust? Not sure???? Probably a little harder, but not really hard.

6: Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable? he definitely considers them flexible.

7: What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling? Probably things like jungles, treehouses, other kind of nature things... and yeah!! He likes the feeling!!

8: What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a childA LOT of things... He was a big trouble maker. Mostly was told not to do things like, something dangerous, doing/saying something too quickly, getting into fights, that sort of thing. and the thing he was told to start doing most???? Grow up

9: Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?Yeah he swears as much as the next guy tbh, but probably doesnt remember his friend swear because he has been living for so long

10: What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them? He’s actually a pretty honest guy!!! He even tells the mundies that he’s Peter Pan, but he’s actually like.... Pretending, to pretend he’s Peter Pan??? So when someone is being 100% serious when asking if he actually is, he lies and says that he isn’t. But I think the lies that actually haunt him, maybe not now, but definitely when he was still married to his wife, was that he actually still liked her and continued to stay with her

11: How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)? He would try really really hard to understand, but if he cant, then he’ll pretend to understand

12: How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach? He would ask people to get it for him, and probably make the other person feel hella awkward wile he’s just like “Thank u pal”

13: What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color? Green!! He thinks and does look best in green!!!

14: What animal do they fear most? He doesn’t fear animals that much actually??? I think the only time he would be afraid of an animal is if they’re acting aggressive towards him tbh

15: How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first? Its always. on the spot. He almost never thinks it out. The only time he thinks of it out is if he has time and if its something he’s nervous about, but even then, he usually doesn't come out the way he wanted

16: What makes their stomach turn? When people believe the rumors/lies told about his childhood, things that make him super nervous, thinking about things he has to admit sooner or later, those kind of things

17: Are they easily embarrassed? No, not really :0

18: What embarrasses them? When people talk about embarrassing things he did, especially if its in front of someone like Boy Blue. He gets awkward embarrassed

19: What is their favorite number? 18 maybe :0

20:If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?“Alrighty, so romantic love is like... When you love someone, and you like, want to date them and get married and kiss them and fuck them and whatnot. Platonic love is where you’re like, ‘DAMN! I LOVE MY FRIEND!!’ but not in the romantic way. You just like them as a friend. Familial love is, y’know, you love your parents??? Your kids???? Your siblings?????? Its close to platonic but also... not....”

21:Why do they get up in the morning? His job. Boy Blue.

22:How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? Depends... If he was jealous abt someone interacting with Blue, then yeah, he might be a little possessive or/and aloof, but he’ll probably just show off in front of the other person, make them feel like a third wheel

23:How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? He usually just... Tries to let it pass.... But might... just might..... become resentful..... But it would be rare

24: Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? Yeah he’s totally fine with it. I think the only time he would be uncomfortable about talking about it is with straight people. Especially straight girls. Unless its about him doing it, then its fine

25: What are their thoughts on marriage? He’s fine w it!!! He gets married himself! :0

26: What is their preferred mode of transportation? He just... takes a car..... But in places like the farm (and if/when he goes to the homelands), he likes to fly!!!

27: What causes them to feel dread? His friends being hurt.... He gets so scared when his friends are hurt

28: Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? Nah, he’s used to the unpleasant truth, so he would want that instead of a lie

29: Do they usually live up to their own ideals? Sure!!! He’s got a boyfriend and a good job, he doesn’t really have any ideals past that???? He is also pretty powerful, so thats a plus

30: Who do they most regret meeting? ProbablyMargaret

31: Who are they the most glad to have met?:All of his friends!!!

32: Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? Probably a joke most of the time, but also sometimes has childhood stories that he had just remembered

33: Could they be considered lazy? No!!! He is always busy doing his job!!! He is usually always doing something

34: How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? Not hard probably fndjsbkds he’ll probably just end up forgetting about it......

35: How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? He gets excited with them!!! He’s so happy they’re happy!!!!!!

36:Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? He usually waits, but if he sees a cute guy he’ll be like *eye emoji* and go flirt with him or something

37:Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? Nah.... He actually has a kind of bad memory and easily forgets names

38:What memory do they revisit the most often? His childhood adventures!!!

39:How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? Pretty easy tbh

40:How sensitive are they to their own flaws?He isn’t sensitive abt them that often, pretty much the only time he is is if someone pointed them out. Other than that, he’s oblivious

41:How do they feel about children? He loves them!!!! Pretty much the only reason he pretends, to pretend to be Peter Pan, is so when he’s cutting a kid’s hair, he can get them all happy and excited n stuff....

42:How badly do they want to reach their end goal? I dont think??? He really has one??? Its hard for fables to have an “end goal” because they live for so long

43: If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? He just... Tells them he only likes men..... He’s gay..... (I wont explain his backstory on it rn because.... spoilers....)

Questions for the creator!!

A) Why are you excited about this character?He just... Makes me and others(????) happy!! Some of my friends can relate to him n stuff and that gets me excited

B) What inspired you to create them?I had always wanted to make a Fables oc that was Peter Pan, so I did!! Peter Pan is like..... one of my favorite fables......

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?Nah, not really :00

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?He has changed a little, but not much!!! Though his first concept art is.... Ugly.....

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?Yeah I think I would get along w him..... We got a lot in common in a way

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?I am.... So happy.............. When thinking about him........

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?Idk if this is what this means but uhh.... He was born a human, yeah???? But when/after he was raised by fairies, he’s half fairy???? Im thinking that the fairies like.... Changed him...... idk

H) What trait do you admire most?Is it safe to say??? All?????? I cant think of one........

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?Hell yeah I do

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?Dude we are.... Changing so much of canon Fables for our comic..... Not for him, just in general

#This took so long.....#I tried to avoid spoilers as much as possible hhhhh #Fables #Fables oc #Peter Pan #octobaaby

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allofthisnonsenseplease · 7 years

Text

Ouran High School Host Club fusion, anyone? XD

another plotting session with firesonic152 <3

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 XDDDDDDDDDDD oh my god i typed in soldier 76 and gabriel reyes into like an "if you were an otome character" generator and

Soldier 76 is the protagonist. type: rival good end: run away to live together bad end:love interest commits suicide

Gabriel Reyes is the side character. type: rival good end: living together bad end: love interest is executed

A LITTLE TOO REAL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 WHAT THE FUCK

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 RIGHT

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 awful bad endings aside whassit mean about their type being rival?

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 like. they start out as your rival or apparently each other's rival lmao then they get together XD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 OH OKAY I GOTCHA WELL HELL XD

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 IT'S A LITTLE TOO ON POINT????

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 YEAH. YEAH I DID NOTICE THAT.

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 lmao overwatch au where everything is the same except it's done in the style of a dating sim

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 i don't know whether to be intrigued or horrified tbh, all i can really think is OHSHC AU XD

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 AKJFNADKJFN PLEASE would that make gabe tamaki and jack haruhi or would it be the other way around gabe is the overdramatic one lmao and i can totally see jack being like "fuckdknakdsfjnadkfjn rich people >||(((((("

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 Gabe would ABSOLUTELY be Tamaki. Jack as Kyouya. For Haruhi...Maybe Jesse getting dragged in, and put Hanzo and Genji as the twins.

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 Jack as the cold shadow leader. XD

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 XDDDDDD except in this version,,,,,,, tamaki ends up w kyouya

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 Rein as Mori. D.Va as Hunny.

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 (lmao @ autocorrect valiantly trying to change tamaki into tamale bless u) A VERY LOUD MORI A VERY LOUD AND BOISTEROUS MORI

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 Well, it's not an exact match. XD

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 XDDDDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 But Gabe in Tamaki's role ABSOLUTELY makes me think he'd be like in the rolls over and steals Jack's mic comic. XD Ana as their crazy advisor girl? Who the fuck would be Nekozawa? Junkrat? shit now i wanna rewatch it XD

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 XDDDDDDDD lmao but can u imagine,,,,, they start this club before they're together and they get so unreasonably jealous,,,,,,,,,

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 like jack wants to straight up Murder everyone fawning over gabe

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 HAD NOT CONSIDERED BUT LOVE IT

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 and whenever someone requests jack they get very carefully Glared at by gabe

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 Jack gets more and more withdrawn into the actual work of running the club bc he doesn't wanna watch Gabe being so flirty with other ppl!!

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 adjfnakdjfn

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 but he can't help watching anyhow

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 wishing it was him gabe was seducing qoq gabe is happy to let jack withdraw like that bc YAY it means not as many people can request him >:3

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 oh noes gabe it's a sign of problems ;; pls notice

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 yeah QoQ

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 Unexpectedly, Jack actually gets MORE popular since it's rarer to be able to talk with him, and it's charming the way he lights up when he's hosting as opposed to being so serious when he's working. So, does Gabe get Tamaki's flair for the dramatic, as well, so that he can do some acrobatic fucking pirouettes when he needs to insert himself into a situation involving Jack? XD

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 AHAHAHA YES kjfkakdjfadkfnadf gabe gets so frustrated at the fact that jack can put on such a convincingly charming act for the customers when he's totally sour with gabe (in reality this is just the fact that a) jack is frustrated at the fact that he's in love w gabe lmao but more importantly b) he is comfortable enough w gabe to not bother with an act)

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 He notices one day though that Jack's off his game. It's little tiny clues--a slight crease between his eyebrows, a brittleness in his smile, an air of distraction. He steps in and makes up some bullshit about needing Jack for something and drags him off somplace for a private word. Turns out Jack's sick--really bad migraine or something--so Gabe hustles him off to the infirmary and makes him lie down, then heads back to the club. And Jack is sick and tired and cold and just generally miserable because he thinks Gabe was so quick to pull him because the customers might notice and be unhappy, when actually Gabe was the ONLY one who had noticed and he was concerned.

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 QOQ jack protests it a lot out of spite and they argue qoq

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 Every other member of the club drops by to check on Jack, but Gabe doesn't come back. He's actually handling Jack's customers as well as his own, plus trying to do Jack's work with the club books or whatever because he thinks that's honestly important to Jack and doesn't realize it's little more than an excuse. All Jack knows is that the damn club they started is apparently more important to Gabe than he is.

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 SOBS jack decides maybe this isn't worth it. maybe he should just quit. try to forget about gabe.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 :rose:Farewell to Jack! Is this the end of the Host Club?:rose:

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 HAHAHA the episode ends with jack in the infirmary bed pondering his feelings and whether or not he really wants to quit. cut to jack entering the host club, gabe looking up to greet him with a smile that quickly fades when he sees jack's serious expression. "gabe... there's something i need to tell you." CUT TO BLACK

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 NO THAT'S THE WORST XD FUCKING CLIFFHANGERS

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 XDDDDD genji then excitedly talks about the preview with hanzo occasionally inputting his own opinion

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 The next episode opens with Jack's expression suddenly going all wobbly as he sags and presses a hand over his mouth. 'shouldn't have moved,' he manages. 'think i'm gonna puke'

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 AHAHA gabe is like DDDD: and swoops in to get jack to the bathroom before he can throw up on the floor

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 once Jack's steady again, Gabe asks what he was going to say, and Jack just snaps back at him 'Do you really think this is the time?' The whole episode puts off what Jack had decided to say.

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 HA

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 His migraine is worse than ever, Gabe has to take him home and put him to bed. He stays and cooks something for Jack, the others show up and fuck around in Jack's house.

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 it is a lighthearted episode that casually develops jesse and hanzo's romance on the side...... save for gabe's low-key moping also jesse and hanzo's obvious flirtation serves as a reminder to gabe that he hasn't been honest about his feelings At All

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 The ep ends with Jack waking up and Gabe's there, dozing next to the bed. When Gabe hears him stirring, he wakes up and asks if Jack is okay. Jack says he's feeling better, and Gabe is like 'Good. There's something I need to tell you, too.'

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 KDNFAJKSFD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 and then the episode ends and the next one starts with some sort of emergency, junkrat setting the school on fire, probably

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 OH MY GOD i'M DYING HERE IS IT ONE OF THOSE FILLER EPISODES WHERE THEY DO A RECAP OF EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED IN THE SHOW SO FAR BC SKIP ofc jack ends up saying his piece about wanting to quit first and gabe gets the wrong idea and decides to swallow his feelings jack is like "so what were you gonna tell me" and gabe is like "UHH,,,, I JUS,,,T,,,,,,,,,, MM,,,,,, WANTED YOUR OPINION ON,,,,,, THE NEW,,,, ART?? WE SHOULD PUT UP IN THE CLUB ROOM,,,,,,,,"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017 OH NOOOOOO ; ; Jack actually quits, and over the next week, it seems like he's less grumpy in the time they have to spend together, but he also seems distant, somehow. They both mope around. ; ;

firesonic152 - 04/24/2017 QoQ gabe is very rapidly losing his composure THEN REIN GIVES HIM A LECTURE :DDD a VERY LOUD LECTURE about NOT BEING A COWARD and GETTING THOSE FEELINGS OUT ALREADY

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 X'D OH! OHOHOH!! WHAT IF JACK ACTUALLY GETS THE BALLS TO SHOW UP TO THE CLUB AND REQUEST GABE LIKE

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 KJDFNAKFDJADNF

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 RIGHT AFTER REINS LECTURE AND GABE IS JUST WAT THIS IS...GOOD

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 AHHHHHHHH

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 BUT SUDDEN WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I SAY???? ANd Jack is fucking RED AS A STRAWBERRY

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 KJDNSFAKFN

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 and SO MAD that he ACTUALLY DID THIS because GOD DAMMIT THIS IS EMBARRASSING He's got his HEART on his fucking SLEEVE and Gabe is just SITTING THERE SO the nerves get to jack, and he's like 'fuck it, i know a rejection when i see one' and he books it outta there

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 KJNDKJNFD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 into that fuck off rose garden with the gazebos yes goddamn rich people and their fucking beautiful settings for dramatic confessions

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 XDDDDDD gabe is stunned for a sec but then rein is like GO AFTER HIM OMFG so he DOES BUT JACK IS SO FAST ,,,,, AND WHAT IF,,,, earlier jack overheard rein's lecture (bc it was extremely loud) and he had thought he might have had a chance,,,,,, but when he booked it out of there he ran too fast and gabe lost him in the maze,,, gabe is actually standing right across from jack, but there is a hedge between them so he can't see,,,,,,, and then bc this is a shoujo and ridiculous shit has to happen someone else finds gabe there and like confesses to him, right where jack can hear it (and ofc gabe doesn't know he's right there),,,,,,,,,,,, and jack assumes that gabe's alleged feelings are for that other person,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 OH NO WHY

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 and jack leaves before he hears gabe reject the other person bc he has feelings for "someone else"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 orz

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 >:3c

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 YOU WERE TYPING FOR SO LONG AND I WAS ALL SET FOR A FREAK THUNDERSTORM TRAPPING THEM IN A GAZEBO TOGETHER FOR DRAMATIC CONFESSIONS AND HOT MAKEOUTS BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 I'M SORRY I HAD TO BREAK IT AGAIN IT'S A SHOUJO U HAVE TO DRAG THIS SHIT OUT FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 FUCK THAT NOISE MY FAVE SHOUJO MANGA ENDED IN SEVEN SHORT VOLUMES

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 XDDDDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 if you're gonna set up a misunderstanding like that, then Jack's gotta labor under it for at least a full episode, right?

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 we can still have the freak thunderstorm lmao XDDDD yep

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 so give him the start of the next day, waking up just rekt from having been unable to sleep the night before (and prolly crying into his pillow 'cause really) and he's dead on his feet and has circles like twin halves of a black hole under his eyes, but he drags his sorry carcas out of bed, gets dressed and ready, and of course because the fucker can't just go ahead without him ONE TIME, meets Gabe to walk to school. And Gabe immediately asks what happened, but Jack doesn't want to talk about it. So Gabe starts to say 'about yesterday--' but Jack Doesn't Want To Talk About It. So Jack's the picture of misery all day, and Gabe is shooting him worried glances through their classes, but by the end of hte school day, Jack has decided that he's got to man up and be Gabe's friend and support him. SO instead of waiting till after the club to walk home with Gabe, he just leaves so that Gabe can walk his crush home instead.

And of course, Gabe goes looking for Jack when he's not waiting, and has to hear from a classmate that Jack left already.

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 CLUTCHES CHEST

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 And Gabe is just like 'fuck this. i'm gonna find out What The Hell is up with him.' So he legs it to Jack's house and bangs on the door till he gets a response, and Jack still looks like death warmed over, and he just kinda glares tiredly at Gabe and asks why he's there.

Gabe is in no mood to deal with this shit--the dirty looks and Jack's tone and the way he's not even inviting him inside, so Gabe is just 'So are we suddenly not friends anymore, 'cause I didn't get the memo about that.' and Jack is taken aback, because of course they're friends, he needs that much at least if he can't have everything. He gets mad pretty quick, though, 'cause he's trying his best, dammit, he's barely had a full day to come to terms with the fact that he has a fucking broken heart of all things.

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 jsakfnaksjfnaskjfsjnfaf

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 So Jack just says 'I was staying out of your way, idiot. Don't you have someplace more important to be?'

'The hell I do! Not when you're acting like this! Not when you suddenly won't give me the time of day. I have something important to say to you, Jack, and you can slam the door in m face afterward if you want, but I'm damn well going to say it this time!'

And then the entire rest of the club shows up to check on Jack because he looked like he was Going To Die.

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 The joke's worn thin at this point, so Gabe chases them all off, while Jack stands by, looking ill and considering closing the door and hiding. But Gabe pushes past him and shuts the rest of the world out, cornering Jack in the process. They're standing so close together that Jack can't tell if the heat on his face is from Gabe or because he's blushing or because he's about to have to fend off tears again. Gabe takes a deep breath, and just that is enough for his chest to brush against Jack's, and he lays it out. 'I like you, Jack. That's...that's what I wanted to say.'

They stand there in silence for a moment. Jack is gaping at him, not sure he heard right, almost sure he must be misunderstanding somehow. The silence gets to Gabe, and he fidgets nervously.

'I can leave, if you want. I just--Jesus, Jack, are you crying?'

'Huh?' Jack touches his face and, sure enough, he's started crying again. He rubs angrily at the tears and shoves past Gabriel into the house, muttering about how he's too fucking tired for this. Gabe follows him, concerned, feeling like that's a clear enough rejection, but wondering why Jack would reject him after requesting him in the club.

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 JACK'S CRYING AND I'M CRYING

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 'Am I who you were talking to Rein about?' Jack demands. Gabe goes red. 'You weren't supposed to hear that,' he mumbles. 'Am I or not??' '...yeah. Liked you for a while now, Jackie. Didn't have the balls to say anything.' Jack just stares at him for a moment, heaves a sigh, and drops down onto the couch, head in his hands. 'I'm an idiot,' he grumbles.

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 AHHHHHH

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 'Well, sure, Jackie, but it's a simple question. You want me to go, or...?' Jack looks up at him, glaring with red-rimmed eyes. 'Dont' you fucking dare leave.' And Gabe's heart does a little flutter in his chest, because he's pretty sure he knows now how Jack feels, intense glare notwithstanding.

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 kajnKJNkjnskjfnsakKJSDFNAKSDJNFKASJDNFASDF I'M DYING

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 HOLY JEEZUS IT IS WAY LATER THAN I REALIZED XD

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 WAIT LET THEM SMOOCH FIRST

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 I gotta turn in aaaaaaaaaaaah smooches

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 gabe is all flustered and has no idea what to do next until jack hisses at him to get his ass over to the couch and they make out the end]

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 lol

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 :heart:

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 what about Gabe goes over to where Jack is sitting, and kneels down in front of him on the floor, looking up into his exhausted, angry, tear-streaked face.

'What are you grinning for?' Jack grouches.

'You like me, don't you?'

'Give the man a prize.'

Gabe laughs and leans in a bit closer, eyes bright and eager. He's itching to wipe away the last of Jack's tears, but he's pretty sure calling attention to them will get him punched. Instead, he asks: 'All right if I kiss you?'

Jack eyes him for a moment, then slides right off the couch into Gabe's arms, straddling Gabe's thighs as he wraps his arms around him for a kiss.

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 AKJDFNASKDFJN I'M GONE

SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017 XD all right, cool. we got closure i'mma get some sleep. Have a good rest of your evening. ^^ ((the kiss is interrupted by flashes from the windows as the club members, who had all stayed to watch, take photos)) Night night. <3

firesonic152 - 04/25/2017 <333333333 good night <333333

#cornfuck and the reaper #R76 plot ideas

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sanguinesprout · 7 years

Text

Therapy/Counselling Diary #7 (plus some small but heartening accomplishments and a few other little frustrations)

Hmm... hmm... it’s hard to say how I’m feeling right now, a strange cocktail of refreshing see sawing determination with a little kick of spicy proudness mingled in with the usual bitterness of overhanging doubt and the chill of all those nerve-wracking fears. Tastes pretty terrible, probably an acquired taste, but unique non the less. I’m no expert at all, but I’ll give it a generous 2.3 stars overall.

Last week was... it was not so bad actually (or maybe that’s just cause I’ve forgotten a lot of it already lol). I pushed myself to try harder to do some of the things my counsellor wanted me to do, what I myself wanted to do and le gasp, it happened..! I guess her hard talk really did stir something good in me after all. To put it real brief right here for now, I went out a lot more than I usually would (just mundane stuff like shopping and supermarkets tho) and I did the phone orders thing!!!1! Not once but multiple times over three days! Yaaay! But this week I need to continue it and even one up it... boooo-- uh, I mean go me!! @w@

There were times I totally copped out though and it feels bad man as usual, but I at least tried and I was able to prove some of my presumptions and preconceived thoughts mostly wrong! It’s something! It’s a big step, an accomplishment for me, don’t downplay it silly me! *pats self on back and proceeds to go in hiding again- no no!* This week is already feeling a little bleak but I just have to toast it up a little, let myself get cosy in this newer environment by just being there and exposing myself to it more. C’mon, I can do it! ^^

Okay onto the actual counselling session, which was yesterday. I literally only just made it on time, phew haha. I was a little anxious going up to the room cause there were some other people around in the corridor but w/e no1currs really and that goes for every other situation everywhere else. When you’re absorbed and focused in what you’re doing like other people are and not constantly looking around and assuming people give a damn (which they don’t) then it’s all good!

Um, anyways she did the typical ‘how are you/have you been’ and I gave her my weekly self scoring sheet but also I told her I forgot to give her that self esteem sheet and presented that too. I told her of my achievements last week and she congratulated me, told me I needed to pat myself on the back more and that she’s glad last week actually helped get me off my butt (she said she felt kinda bad about it too, but not so much now that she saw it had a good effect kind of thing too ^^). I agree last week did help, though I definitely wouldn’t wanna go through that again though lol.

We went over the cycle from before real briefly just as a reminder that actually doing things is the best way to break it and to progress and I have this homework sheet consisting of a table with columns for my preconceived thoughts of a situation (which I am to score with a percentage I believe it), my emotions and feelings that arise, and my uhh re-scores and feelings after actually facing and going through the situation. I haven’t actually looked at the sheet since yesterday so I totally winged the explanation just then lol but it’s about linking thoughts and emotions and that’s pretty much the gist of it. I’m kinda nervous about filling it in and I’m leaving it to the end of the week to do it, which is bad, but I’ll at least know what to put in it better by then hopefully.

We went over some of the things I wrote on the self esteem sheet, some of my examples for the unhelpful negative behaviours and we discussed them for a while but only got through a few. She said she’d go over the other ones next time, we agreed I should continue to do what I did last week but maybe try even harder. (There’s lots of small details in the discussions which I can’t remember properly or can’t place in the right time slot rn oh welp ><”)

Then the session ended there (15 mins early) idk why though. But now that I think about it, maybe there was nothing else left to say or not much plan or other things needed to discuss in particular for the last 3 sessions so maybe just try and stretch what content we have on hand to discuss kind of thing? Or maybe she needed to go somewhere like the toilet? lol who knows xD

I was feeling the session felt pretty short (my explanation also), but wasn’t all that bothered about it tbh, I’m not paying for it or anything and it gave me a little time to do other stuff before meeting with my sis. I plucked up the courage to go to a shop on my own again, I had a few things in mind that I actually wanted to look for which like the counsellor has said before will make it easier to motivate and immerse myself into doing things. I think I might write about this experience on the feelings-thoughts sheet.

So, I went in, a little uneasy at first, but not as much as if it would have been a place I’ve never stepped foot into before. I perused at my leisure and tried my hardest not to be overly conscious of other people around, which I noted to myself do actually going about their own stuff and don’t pay you any mind at all which lessened the nerves a lot. I found some things I wanted, and this was another relief as I always get that niggling feeling that if I leave without buying they’ll think I stole something (but looking around the internets randomly, I came to know that this is a super common feeling which is comforting and I shouldn’t worry about it too much because so what if I didn’t buy anything, I just couldn’t find anything I wanted and that is totally fine!).

Partway in the last leg of my perusing, my sis phoned me and told me to hurry up and all that stuff and it kinda made me feel real antsy. I continued looking though at a slightly faster pace but she ended up calling outside and told me to hurry up even more and was waiting for me outside so I cut my browsing short and hurried to pay and felt pretty down about it. When paying I queued up behind a group of guys and felt self-conscious but well, they no care really and I got over it and ignored the thought.

I went to the self serve till (the only kind open, so I wasn’t avoiding or anything) and proceeded to pay and I’m so glad I know how to use them as we use them most of the time my sis goes to the supermarket with me lol but I still was feeling pretty self-conscious and the ‘unexpected item in bagging area’ still gives me nerves and it happened twice to me but the assistant came over and fixed it straight away without me saying anything (which was a relief because I was feeling a little cowardly by then, but I would’ve been a little prouder of myself for actually asking).

I went with my sis to some other shops after that, I voiced that she was being quite mean on the phone and later she apologised, she was in a pretty bad mood in general and also the car park time wasn’t much and most of the bad feeling was dissolved. We then went to some other other shops with my mum in addition and I went off on my own to peruse which was nice though I couldn’t find anything I wanted, but it’s best not to waste monies on things I don’t need anyways. I got kind of sickly on the way home which wasn’t great but the general day was pretty alright.

There was somewhere else I wanted to go and me and my sis planned to go soon after but it was delayed and later I just kind of chickened out and took a nap instead :/ I was really tired and still sickly feeling though. I hope to get this sorted out this week still though, maybe I’ll tag along with my parents this time round, it’ll be okay! ^^

I also went to see a specialist doctor, I got a phone call for the appointment two days before the actual day (probably someone else cancelled) and I took it. I could’ve said no and waited even longer, but I didn’t, because health is important and should be dealt with asap! I wish I could bring myself to apply this to some of my other worries, but I’ll get there. Anyways it went alright, the typical general treatment route, but at least it’s something, now I’m waiting on my regular doc for the next steps.

The kind of funny thing is though (in reference to my last post or maybe the one before it), is that I have been recommended to take anti-depressants (BUT not for depression) they happen to help with migraines and oversensitivity which affects me all the time pretty much. A lot of medicines help with other conditions they were not primarily made for, I only realised this in the recent years lol. I’m a little wary and I’m hoping that it’ll help, maybe even kill two birds with one stone, but if it doesn’t then oh welp and onto the next thing they recommend. I want to get better every way I can and there’s no harm trying (except maybe side effects ugh) it’s just the stigma thing again, it’s... complicated .__. But it’ll be okay!

In terms of my own art and online dabblings, I actually spent two of the days I did phone orders doodling and editing stuff a little. I wasn’t really going to draw anything seriously but my non serious doodle started off pretty alright and I continued it and finished it, which I kind of felt proud of as usually I start things and never finish them because I get scared to mess it up or think it’s not good enough. It has its flaws of course, I’m such a nit picky person and I know I need to improve, but looking past these things, I really like what I did and am glad I persevered and completed it.

I also tried posting something online, not on here, but I actually did it for once at least! It was nothing amazing, in fact it was really really lame, just a scrawl from another time but I still like it and that’s all that matters, right? Right! I was really struggling over what to write in the descriptions (much like how I spend ages agonising over writing comments) and still keep feeling iffy about what I wrote but it’s actually all fine, so I should stop worrying about it! Hear that silly me? Don’t fret and don’t regret, it’s fine so keep going! :D

Some people (very few) even liked my picture and one person even commented some thumbs up emojis. It’s really nice of them ;w; I don’t think they were bots and I looked at their pages too. The person that commented has a page full of beautiful art and idk I just felt like omg ahhhh they’re so much more amazing then me and super intimidated and wasn’t sure what to do about the comment and still haven’t done anything and it’s been a few days .__.

They probably like loads of peoples stuff though, and also there’s no obligation to have to like their stuff back (though I have a feeling that’s probably why they liked my awful doodle in the first place, to draw attention to their own page, but I shouldn’t assume, that’s bad, maybe they really thought my doodle was okay and kindly wanted to encourage, who knows). I think maybe I’ll like the comment at least, I don’t want to be rude >< I’m just scared that if I do go and like their stuff, I’ll feel obligated to always do it kind of thing, I’m still just so scared of interacting with people (also this person doesn’t speak english it seems and language barriers are my death, but this person didn’t mind it, so uh uh wait I’m being such a baby again ;____;)

I’m seriously overthinking things way too much again!! I get this feeling when I think of people that may have taken their time to read my posts or even the few people that have liked a post or two. I’m seriously very very grateful and would hug you if I could but I don’t know what to do from then and it just keeps swirling and nagging me inside and I’m so sorry >< Overthinking and social awkwardness will surely be the death of me. I need to stop all the uncertainty and what ifs and silly assumptions and just do what I feel! Why is it so hard..? ;^;

I actually got so scared I didn’t post the next small doodle I wanted to, but I need to get over it and just get it done and continue and post the things I’ve really really been wanting to post for months. No one actually cares about all the silly things I think they do, I can’t read minds and I can’t go one thinking that I can. The same for just people in general irl. I was actually a little proud that I was so self-conscious out in public as much recently, that I noticed people are too busy in their own world and that I’m silly for thinking they would expend the brain energy to linger on me negatively. Another mantra sort of thing I’ve been thinking is ‘IDGAF (and no one else does)’ lolol for reals, but it seems to be pretty effective so imma keep it! :>

Losing motivation and becoming disheartened is so easy. I’m going to continue small and simple and build up from there in every aspect and it’ll get easier and I’m gonna keep my grip real tight on that motivation and determination and soak in all my accomplishments no matter how small or insignificant they seem and convert them into even more positive energy! Imma do things!! Imma do lots of things and not get mad at myself even if I don’t manage to do some of them! Baby steps is the way to go! c:

Like always I get a bit apprehensive when writing these or even thinking of doing so, but they are actually very useful! I can sift through and explore my thoughts better now and I can help re-motivate and re-direction myself with them and I even think my writing and expression in general has gotten better! It’s a good thing, it’s an achievement! Be happy silly self! ^^

Worry just makes the world seem all the more scary. Break the cycle, break the cycle, snap it to pieces, crush it into dust and let it fly away in the wind and never return! >< Keep going, reach higher, climb further (without forgetting to take rest stops in between and continue onwards with renewed vigour) past the sky and the stars, you can do it! Moar fancy fancy motivation!! x3

I guess I’ll stop here, I think I’ve got most of the stuff down and there’s stuff I wanna do now that I’ve pieced my motivation back together some ^^ When I go to my drafts to write, I see the to do/dream list I wrote last time and it reminds me of all the things I could do, it definitely needs to be tidied up but it’s nice seeing it! I’m pumped! :3

I hope things go well for myself and everyone out there, go go!

Have a great evening! C:

#therapy #avpd #anxiety #social anxiety #depression #thoughts #feelings #*pats self on back*#feels good man #keep going #break the cycle #don't give a damn about the irrational #do it all for yourself #never regret #no obligations #baby steps #try your best!#onwards to victory!

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lighteningmccain · 7 years

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I got tagged by @pollypeaches to do this ask meme so here we go

Your last 1. drink: some flat dr pepper I had in the fridge >__> 2. phone call: Mom, but it turned out she was home so I hung up and went and spoke to her in person 3. text message: If messaging counts, Krista. If only texting texting counts, then I don’t have a clue 4. song you listened to: Merry-Go-Round of Life from Howl’s Moving Castle 5. time you cried: I think Monday? I was having a disagreement with my mom and I was crying out of a mixture of frustration and feelings of inadequacy

Have you ever 6. dated someone twice: Yes 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Yes 8. been cheated on: Nope 9. lost someone special: Yes. I’ve had people walk out of my life who I thought would stay forever but w/e, nothing lasts forever 10. been depressed: I have anxiety issues if that counts 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Nooooooooope and I never plan to

3 favourite colours: Silver, light blue, lavander

In the last year have you 15. made new friends: Yes 16. fallen out of love: Not romantic love, no. 17. laughed until you cried: Yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: No, but I’m sure people have. That’s just the way the friend group is? It’s no skin off my teeth 19. met someone who changed you: No 20. found out who your friends are: I mean I think I already knew? Who the real MVPs of my life are? Though I guess I’ve been proven wrong before? 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Does my mom count? I give her forehead and cheek kisses all the time lmao and my boyfriend doesn’t use facebook

General 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I only add people who 1. I know and 2. I like enough to see their posts 23. do you have any pets: I have four cats! Annie, Callie, Bernie, and Shadow. They’re all girls, even Bernie who my dad named after Bernie Sanders. 24. do you want to change your name: Idk, I’ve never actually liked my name or felt like it fits me? and I sorta hate when people say it to me? but I have no idea what might fit me better so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 25. what did you do for your last birthday: It was my 21st so my parents took me out to a reaaaaaally nice bar/restaurant and I had a drink that the bartender said was one of her own custom drinks and it tasted like strawberry lemonade kinda? and she said it had honey and mint in it too? and then she bought me my 2nd drink and it was a Perfect Lady and I was pretty buzzed at this point so I was really excited about it and it was really good but I couldn’t drink it all (I didn’t wanna get like. Drunk Drunk.) and we had popcorn made with pig fat for the oil and sea salt and brown sugar and I was Skeptical at first but it ended up tasting really good? It wasn’t greasy at all like I had expected. And my mom and I split the biggest steak I have ever seen in my life and even between the both of us we still only ate like half so I took it home. It was really nice. My hair was freshly done pink (which was my Big present) and then my mom gave me a necklace and an urban decay eyeshadow palate (and was Thoroughly Miffed that I was more excited about the eyeshadow than the jewelry) and my dad gave me lights for my tires??????? that I don’t even know if they are legal??????? I’ve never used them. And I bought an Urban Decay lipstick I had my eye on for a few months at Sephora so I could get my birthday gift. It was a nice day 26. what time did you wake up: Today? My sleep schedule is Fucked Up right now but I woke up at 9:00, went back to bed at like 10:30, and woke up again at 1:30 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping 28. name something you can’t wait for: School to start tbh so I can throw myself into it and Forgetti my Regretti 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Like half an hour ago. I’m holed up in the quiet safety of my room. 31. what are you listening to right now: The sweet sound of silence 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m sure I’ve met a Tom somewhere? I think I have a guy on snapchat named Tim but tbh I don’t actually know him? He is/was? the friend of a friend and he asked me to add him so I did 33. something that is getting on your nerves: noise gets on my nerves real fast and my mom has been watching some stupid comedy show in the living room lately so I’ve been holed up in my room most of the summer, which she’s not happy about? She’s also been nagging me to get a job, but I’m going to try to get a position on campus when school starts and I’m not gonna get a job for a month and then quit? and I’m not gonna have two jobs and go to school full time if I don’t have to bc having one job + school is hard enough. So instead of spending money and going out, I’ve been chilling at home. But now she’s upset that I’m “living in my room” and not getting out and doing things? but it’s not like, a huge deal or anything. 34. most visited website: Tumblr 35. hair colour: Pink, but it’s pretty faded and my roots are growing in. I’m either gonna dye the already-bleached parts pink again or maybe just dye the whole thing black so I can get that Emo Kid Aesthetic. In the year 2017. 36. long or short hair: Short 37. do you have a crush on someone: Nope 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m pretty considerate and compassionate to others (though it might be to a bit of an unhealthy degree bc I tend to be a People Pleaser at my own expense but yanno) 39. piercings: Noooooooooooooooooo. No. Not happening. 40. blood type: I actually don’t know 41.nickname: Partybus 42. relationship status: Taken ;0 43. zodiac: Taurus 44. pronouns: She/Her 45. favourite tv show: I liked Death Parade a lot? and I love nostalgic shows like InuYasha and Yu-Gi-Oh 47. right or left handed: Right 48. surgery: Only minor ones 49. sport: I have the coordination of an intoxicated newborn giraffe on ice skates, but I run pretty fast and I’ve always liked Baseball? 50. vacation: I’d like to go to Las Vegas again, the last time my family went was a lot of fun. I’m not particularly interested in gambling but I like walking around all the casinos and seeing the sights. I especially love the mall in Ceaser’s Palace where it looks outdoor? I could spend hours in that mall 51. pair of trainers: What

More General 53. eating: I just finished a grilled cheese :0 54. drinking: <__< I should probably get some more water but I’m lazy af 55. i’m about to: t b h keep scrolling tumblr, but I need to reply to a rp and finish an art collab that I’m 2/3rds done lining 57. want: The end of suffering, but yanno, that’s not gonna happen. 58. get married: Someday I’d like to 59. career: I want to go into research

Which is Better 60. hugs or kisses: Hugs 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: Doesn’t matter to me 63. older or younger: I’d prefer right about my age but if I had to pick I’d pick older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Does it really matter? But I guess if I had to pick one I’d say nice arms 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. I’ve got Anxiety regarding relationships and intimacy and if someone wants to hook up with me, they need to know me well enough to understand that and work with me while I beat my brain into submission with a wooden rod, and at that point they’re probably already Relationship Compatible with me, you know? 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

Have You Ever 67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Yes 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Do sunglasses count? 70. turned someone down: Yep. 71. sex on the first date: No 72. broken someone’s heart: Yes .-. Several people’s. I’m good at that 73. had your heart broken: Only by close friends, but it still stings the same 74. been arrested: No. I’m a good noodle 75. cried when someone died: Yes 76. fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: Most of the time 78. miracles: I really want to believe 79. love at first sight: NO NOPE NO love at first sight is a Giant Red Flag if you ask me 80. santa claus: I want to believe LMAO 81. kiss on the first date: Yes 82. angels: I’m not sure

OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: Sandi :0 we’ve been best friends for a looong time? I think we met in Freshman year? 84. eye colour: Blue 85. favourite movie: I’m still a sucker for the Iron Man movies ugh I love them

I’m gonna tag @randomhatthief @chloekat1things @dontdropthe27 @d4zed-dre4mer and @sweetc0re if she ever comes online again lmao

#long post #ask meme

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