#punchline fic
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No pressure tags @redrobin-detective @lollitree @figurativepieceoftrash
#wip#poll shenanigans#punchline fic#bc gentry decided to be EVIL and TAG ME!!#mob mentality#komainu fic
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IDEA: Desmond gets turned into a creature of your choosing, just has to be able to “write”. And yknow how we always go with the ‘his writing becomes illegible’ thing? What if all of his writing is unreadable except the word “Desmond”. Drop him in with Ezio and watch the chaos unfold.
I was thinking what creature we should go for and my brain just went ‘screw it, go with Slime Desmond so we don’t have to think if the creature can actually use a quill or if he’s using his hands to write’.
Then my next thought was “Wouldn’t it be funny if Desmond could write ‘Desmond’ but he can only write it in a specific language that Ezio doesn’t know? Like… the Isu script?” but you know what would be funnier?
Desmond had always been an intelligent creature.
He used his strange body structure to make creative shapes that Ezio would be able to decipher and understand. He was the best scout and planning partner to have.
His uncle believes Desmond was a descendant of the slime ‘companion’ the legendary Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad supposed had.
If he was, Ezio could see why everyone believed Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad was the best mentor the Brotherhood ever had.
Desmond made everything so easy that Ezio knew he needed to not depend on him too much. He needed to be able to stay on his own feet. To show that he was a formidable Assassin in his own rights.
That was why he asked Desmond to stay in Monteriggioni while he went to the Vatican to finally confront Rodrigo Borgia.
He focused on the safety of his family, knowing it was Desmond’s soft spot.
And it worked.
Desmond stayed and Ezio went to Rome alone.
And then he heard Minerva’s message.
‘Desmond’.
She specifically said Desmond’s name.
Desmond wasn’t a usual name and…
It was the only ‘word’ Desmond could write.
So when he returned to Monteriggioni, he briskly walked towards Desmond and crouched in front of him. Desmond’s entire body seemed to be vibrating slightly and Ezio pointed at him as he asked in an almost panicky tone, “Desmond?”
Desmond created too slimey appendages and pointed at himself, waving the tentacle-like appendages furiously.
“Desmond!” Ezio repeated and Desmond began to vibrate more noticeably.
“Desmond!” Ezio said cheerfully and Desmond started bouncing in front of him in pure joy.
“Why is my brother repeating Desmond’s name?” Claudia whispered from behind them, looking both confused and tired already.
“I’m not entirely sure…” Mario answered as he rubbed his chin.
“Ah, of course!” Ezio grabbed Desmond midbounce and held him in his arms before turning to face his family and allies. He recounted Minerva’s message and what he had seen, making his allies wear different expressions on their faces.
When he got to the part where Minerva specifically said Desmond’s name, Mario’s eyes widened as he asked, “Nipote, are you saying…”
“Yes.” Ezio raised Desmond to his eye-level as he proclaimed…
“Desmond is a messenger like Minerva! He keeps writing the name Desmond because he is looking for him!”
Desmond’s happy vibrations immediately stopped and then…
WHACK.
A tentacle appendage suddenly appeared from Desmond’s body and smacked Ezio behind the head, making the Assassin yelp in surprise and let go of Desmond.
Desmond quickly hopped away from them and went straight for the secret door that would lead to the Sanctuary below.
“What? What did I do? Was it supposed to be a secret, Desmond?!” Ezio followed the slime, already knowing it would be sulking behind the statue of Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.
… leaving his family and allies back in the office who stared at the secret entrance.
“…………. well… who’s going to tell him that Desmond is angry because the obvious answer was he’s the Desmond in the message?”
“I will respectfully decline. For one, I don’t want to argue with Ezio about how that idea is foolish as this Desmond is meant to be alive centuries from now to save the world.”
“O dio mio, does that mean our Desmond used to be Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad’s Desmond?! Is Desmond immortal???”
“I’m going to bed. Wake me up once my brother stops being stupid.”
#desmond is turned into a creature subgenre#ezio is a bit stupid for the punchline to work#sorry#in ezio’s defense#he didn’t think desmond the slime is an immortal#or that he’s a time traveler#assassin's creed#desmond miles#ezio auditore#fic idea: assassin's creed#teecup writes/has a plot#ask and answer
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silly comic
#tmnt#tmnt 2003#mikey :)#my art#original#tbh this was mostly to mess around with style#this is kind of taken from a fan fic of mine that.... i will never finish and/or publish :)))))#thank u raph for keeping it real#this took about 2 hours hmmm interesting#im just talking to myself at this point#big fan of the irregular boxes i like them theyre super cute#i dont feel like mikes expression in the last panel is big enough but ah well#also eye lines are whack but big shrug#if anyones wondering in the fic raph follows up with 'it aint easy being... insert g word here#the joke is different but the punchline is the same#anyway... if anyone made it this far hi and thank you for reading my tags and looking at my comic
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You’re new to the Princess-Rescuing business, aren’t you? (P1 | P2 | P3) (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#The Captain#DAX#My brain presented me with a punchline and then stepped back to let me figure out how to get there#And then had the audacity to feel silly for making the path!#How rude#Lol#Well I did it anyway! And it was in fact silly but in a good and fun way! So there brain! Lol#It was admittedly a bit touch-and-go for a while - I love silliness so much! But it kept turning out in a way I wasn't satisfied with#And then I'd draw the next thing and be like ''No actually that's funny/cute'' and everything was fine - and then it'd repeat! Pfft#But I'm happy with it by the end so it's fine >:3c Trust the process!#Anyway - the the Actual Thing lol#Considering the various SCII/adjacent vibes lately it might not surprise you to hear that alt outfits have come back into my crosshairs#Cough cough Pirate Fic cough - but those aren't the only vibes! Make something similar but not the same! Why not fantasy!#It is a classic go-to lol#It was fun thinking how the Captain's uniform could be translated into a more Princely aesthetic haha#I didn't do the same for DAX but that's mostly 'cause I just wanted to put him in human clothes lol#Plus I'm sure you can imagine who else will feature :3c And they couldn't just match! Part of the comedy is appearance-based!#Which is part of why it's funny for DAX to answer in the first place haha ♪ That's no dragon!#The Captain always bursting onto the scene without thinking things over first haha - what were you expecting Captain!#Also hey rude don't look so relieved that DAX wasn't the princess! What if it was a test and he /was/ the princess!#He'd be in so much troubleeeee ♪ Well he still might be hehehe
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Fluffy good omens thought for Halloween? The boys relaxing in the South Downs cottage - the weather is dark and blustery outside but inside it’s warm and cozy. The music is 100% spooky tunes but ping ponging between the gramophone playing the likes of Night on Bald Mountain on the one hand and overly high end speakers playing Thriller on the other.
#I have no punchline or excuse here#just some nice fluff#all treat no tricks!#happy Halloween!#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#south downs cottage#a duck talks#fic prompt#if you want it#(pls tag me if you write something so I can read it!)
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sometimes i get really sweet and completely sincere comments to the effect of, like, "whoa, i can tell there's Themes happening here and that's very cool but i have no idea what they are..." and i am cradling those commenters so gently in my hands. you can do it. tell me the themes!! i believe in you!!
#sparrowsong#all the fondness in the world also to the person who was like#'wow i never considered that this relationship might not just be One Who Is The Good Guy and One Who Is The Bad Guy but#i'm realizing this now because of your fic'#like. yeah. okay! good! i'm glad you had this revelation! i'm flattered i could illuminate this for you!#there's not a punchline here i'm just in a tender mood
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Was looking through old posts and rediscovered my favorite attempt at writing an original akuma. hehe
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#the amount of separate ideas I have where the punchline is essentially:#“someone tries to magic Chat Noir into saying who he is but he reveals something extremely embarrassing instead”#....is like. three.#and they're all the peak of comedy honestly.#miraculous fanfic#miraculous chat noir#miraculous fandom#miraculous lb#mlb crack#crack fic
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Glad to be here
#no punchline rly just vibes#its so fun going thru tags and art and fic like wow#even if you're a bit late#will be adding the fandom this is for cause hi i just got here#disco elysium
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Holy shit I loved that last fic! It was so much fun to read, Dabi negotiating for the league, and OWNING his kinks out of spite were highlights. Reading from Shigarakis pov again is great, I adore the way you show his thought processes and emotions.
But holy shit now I'm wondering what is happening with Hawks in this au? And how long would it take and what would be the thing to push Endeavour over the edge?
What would Enji's reaction be when it did push him over? God I loved this fic! Thank you so much!
Have fun!!
I'm glad you liked it! This one was a nice silly romp for me! I did reply to your same questions over on AO3 but here's my answer from there:
In this AU Hawks is still on the HPSC's leash at the moment, so he's probably being told to find an opportunity to assassinate Compress, Dabi, and Shigaraki. When the HPSC falls he ends up having to go through cult decommissioning therapy and eventually has his own life entirely separate from the League.
As for breaking Endeavor, Dabi does wear love bites with a thong cutting over his hips a few times throughout the summer, but he absolutely decides he cannot survive living in a house with Dabi anymore when he overhears Dabi on the phone begging his "Daddy" to unlock his bluetooth clit cage because he's been a good girl all week, pretty please. (Of course Dabi knew and planned for this entire situation, and literally already had the League on call for the weekend to help him move his shit.) Overall, after Shigaraki is released from Tartarus, Endeavor holds out for 9 months with his sanity depleting rapidly throughout that time period!
Enji's overall reaction would be, hmm, maybe sometimes your kid ignoring you and you not knowing anything about their life is better actually
Thanks for asking!
#tanco speaks#ask#asks#im so uninterested in Hawks at the moment#he does not get any spotlight in my fics for the time being he gets to go twiddle his thumbs in a corner and not#add any complications to my babies lives#(though i did debate if it would be even funnier to have him show up and clearly be thirsting for Endeavor)#(but i was too Not Interested in Hawks to bother persuing that punchline)
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I think part of what hurt me most in reading Ours Poetica was that I related to almost all the characters in some way.
Wilbur's need to be the older brother.
Tommy feeling like he is an annoyance and will be replaced, and nobody really sees him.
Techno hating the sound of people mourning and knowing that if he does well enough people will let him just be silent.
Ranboo not wanting his friend to see the pain that is someone else's life and hating confrontation.
Tubbo wanting to help and knowing he's young and this isn't on him but blaming himself never the less.
Puffy and the joy and pain she gets from helping those she "adopts".
I didn't relate to Phil but I understood the way he shut down after losing his wife.
And just the complexities of all the characters.
#ours poetica#dsmp#fanfiction#this fic had me sobbing and punching the air#i was not okay at any point while reading this#take a shot#Punchline got me messed up#shared it with a friend#he loved it
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Kirishima receiving his acceptance letter in ch1 of Punchline! I drew this at least 3 months before ever writing it.
#punchline fic#the showman#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#anime#manga#eijiro kirishima#my art
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I know I'm going to hell but, this video and the little kid is Kadar.
Context in Chilean Spanish and my best try to translate it to English:
Title: Pelotazo a niño chico con completo
*The camera shows a little kid eating a completo italiano while to other kids talk*
Kid A: The birthday was alright (Tuvo weno el cumpleaños)
Kid B: Yeah, it's alright (Ta weno)
Kid A: I mean it's alright *gibrish* (Osea esta weno .... )
Kid B: We are like shit because there are no women (tamos como las weas por que no hay minas)
*the ball hits the little kid *
Tumblr didn’t include the video but I think this is it:
youtube
I’m just imagining this is like Al Mualim’s birthday and one of the older Assassins are asking how the kids enjoy the birthday. Rauf being the kid who joked “we are not pleased for there was no flower.” because he’s the oldest of the group and he can joke about these kinds of things.
Kadar gets hit by the ball that Altaïr and Abbas were passing around after a few kids teased Abbas that he couldn’t kick the ball hard enough for Altaïr not to block it (which they only teased about because Altaïr and Abbas were just casually passing it around and that was boring).
Abbas didn’t mean to hit Kadar.
Altaïr had been distracted because he saw Al Mualim exiting the fortress and he wondered if he was there to take Altaïr back inside. His attention only returned to Abbas when he heard his friend beg for mercy as he ran away from a furious Malik who chased after him with murder in his eyes.
Altaïr helped Kadar get up instead because he felt a bit responsible for getting distracted.
And in all his most-definitely-got-a-concussion state, Kadar saw Altaïr as he helped him up and…
That is the day Kadar developed a crush on Altaïr.
… and threw up everything he ate at the feast on Altaïr’s robes.
#it’s like… not meet cute#but rescue romance#idk#i like kadar x altaïr XD#this is not the first time i wrote something#and the punchline is someone vomiting on another person#sorry not sorry#i just think cutting romance setup with vomit#is kinda funny#in a ‘it’s so sweet imma puke’ kind of way#assassin's creed#altaïr ibn la'ahad#kadar al sayf#ask and answer#teecup writes/has a plot#fic idea: assassin's creed
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Finally, the climax.
This is very late, for which I apologize. My motivation to write has admittedly been very low as of late. I am dealing with some rather depressing life events, so the final chapter may be delayed further. I'll do my best.
#tales of arcadia#keenswimmers2023#stricklake#I should have stuck with just making this a crackfic but as usual I have bitten off more than I can chew#I just want to get back to continuing my other WIP#Almost 10k of fic and we haven't even hit the punchline
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tell me about Joke's On Us please!
Remember how i was telling u about dicky boy? The arc where joker brainwashed dick? :3
Joker altered his memory to make dick remember his parents as incredibly abusive and made him think of the joker as his SAVIOR for killing them and raising him as his own!
Anyways. Joker/Dick/Punchline threesome. Maybe lean into a bit of incest kink bc of the whole "he thinks joker raised him" bit. I'm also thinking about having a second chapter where they assault jason bc. Drama. I like the trope of X is hurting Y but X isn't in control so Y has to deal with the feeling of being hurt by X while knowing it's not X's fault theyre hurting Y. That's a very convoluted explanation but u get the gist
#asks#zero#i wonder if joker included harley in dickys fake memories? is punchline his step mom? lol#fic asks
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I like the tagging system in ao3 but for fic writers who put twist and reveals and have to tag it just ruins the surprise 😬
#ao3#archive of our own#there was a fic where there was a plot twist of an oc being a canon character#and the people who read it on time got the surprise but now its tagged so everyone who comes later will know#and like the ao3 culture is to tag it all specially charas and ships but sometimes it is really a spoiler#but for people who wanna avoid them or look at those charas the tag its needed but ALAS.....#i also had some stuff that i was like ah damn i have to rag it but for the tags it will spoil the punchline#on some of my stuff#such is the life.....
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Quackity: I’m tired of being pushed around all the time. Whoever has problems with me has got fucking nothing
The random quiet guy who reads books:
Quackity: motherfucker
#au posting#yeah fuck you now this is on your dash#for context: this takes place in high school. he’s a high schooler.#w!preyduo#stick it to the man but your idea of the man isn’t like the principal or something#it’s the guy who’s just been generally unfriendly and also seems to shut down all your jokes with wittier punchlines#it’s not that he’s an asshole (well he is) it’s that he’s just unstable#fic promo
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