I'll kill him I'll fucking kill him

I'm gonna fucking bites him

One of my professors just accused me of plagiarism🎉🎉🎉yay🎉🎉🎉

Reason: I spelled recognize with an s “recognise”

The ✨British✨ way

(For the record I didn’t plagiarize, I just can’t spell)

One of my students messages me on Discord (yes we have an official class Discord) simply asking “is it possible for me to pass the class? 🥲” and like I’m not going to respond but in my head I have formulated three accurate, if not appropriate, responses:

1. “No 😇💕”

2. “What do you think?”

3.

I would just like everyone to know

Kids in my psychology class were asked to write about attachment styles and a student submitted a paper about the differences word documents, PDF’s, and video files.

hello gang i'm looking for pdfs of a couple articles to give to my students and i am STRUGGLING

if anyone has "The Bias of Language, the Bias of Pictures" by neil postman and/or “Having It His Way: The Construction of Masculinity in Fast-Food TV Advertising”

pls lmk THANK U

This year, I have discovered a few structural beams to my routine. 

Teaching until 9:30pm, meaning I’m not in bed until 10:30, two nights a week? That’s way more draining than I anticipated. 

Having two consecutive days off in a row? That’s way more restorative than I anticipated. 

i know someone must have done this already but--

based on this post by @chaotic-kass

Cloud. I've come across the most fascinating passage.

im obsessed with this terrible woman i wanna study her under a microscope

Professor: You write so well! Did you take many humanities courses during undergraduate?

Me:

I’m just a professor, standing in front of a student, asking him to accept the consequences of his own actions

in a world with carizards (charizard cars) i think friede should have a pikacycle (with a sidecar for cap of course)

Uhhh I just thought about how Holmes would probably go to concerts from time to time before he knew Watson, spending either an unreasonable amount of money for a ticket (because his consulting had not really taken off yet) but he NEEDED to see the violinist's fingering, or sueezing in somewhere in the backrows because he just solved a case and he needed something other than cocaine for a celebration - and how much nicer it must have been to go with Watson later, who didn't know half as much about music as Holmes but would get excited because Holmes was so excited and they could sit there TOGETHER, and later Holmes could infodump on Watson about the conductor's carreer and that one scandal (yes really Watson that'swhat happened!) and Watson would giggle and then Holmes could infodump some more, and the next morning Watson would maybe whistle a little tune from the concert when coming down for breakfast and ah. Yep. That.

"Oh, hey, funny idea to crossover two niche video games I enjoy," I said. "I will surely just make a funny doodle and not put more effort into this," I said. Oh, how I gaslight, girlkeep, and gateboss myself.

Bonuses under the cut (v)