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olivarryprompts · 3 years

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Fanfic Friday #11

Welcome to Fanfic Friday! Each Friday I post a new here and on A03. Enjoy x

Read and save it on A03 here https://archiveofourown.org/works/33567529

{fancy suits from dad}

Ships: Peter Stark & Tony Stark, Pepper Pots/Tony Stark

Warnings: swearing, just fluff otherwise :)

Wc: 2,319

Here’s the thing, Peter Parker grew up in Stark Tower, which eventually became Avengers Tower of course. So whilst his whole class was buzzing about their field trip, all he could think was, “shit, shit shit.” His dad was going to embarrass the hell out of him. His Aunts and Uncles were going to endlessly tease him.

So, no Peter was not looking forward to the field trip. Not in the slightest. He still wanted to go, though. He knew that the rumors of his internship being fake were started by Flash, the annoying teen. He also knew that Flash had not once said his real name, preferring the name Penis Parker. It didn’t bother him as much as it used to. Also since highschool began, Flash had calmed down with his bullying. Well, maybe Flash hadn’t calmed down and high school was just bigger and he had thicker skin. And a new support system with plenty of people to go to.

Peter had been adopted by the Starks when he was a mere ten years old. At first, he was terrible at receiving any gifts or even too much attention. Slowly but surely, he got more and more used to it. Now, he wouldn’t not know what to do if any of that was taken away. Plus, he really did find a liking for expensive suits, however shallow. He looked good in them, and his father always insisted on buying him more and more. Tony would always find an excuse to spoil the kid a little more, however much Pepper tried to stop him.

“Peter, please see me after class regarding an urgent matter.”

Brough out of his thoughts, Peter swiftly nodded his head.

He looked at the board to see the words from before still written on them, “Field Trip to Stark Industries!” It might as well have said, “Dig Peter Stark’s Grave!”

“So, let’s get started with today’s lesson, graphing imaginary numbers on the complex plane!” He’d done this one a while back with his father. Something about not only learning applicable science and engineering. Peter tapped his glass, and the episode of Arrow he’d been watching on the car ride over began playing. He’d be ever grateful for his father’s gift of EDITH to him. Pepper had tried to ban him from wearing them to school, but hastily gave up when Peter pulled the spiderman danger card.

“Alright, class dismissed. Please remember to do this homework pages 11-18 on this unit’s homework handout.”

Peter, forgetting his teacher's previous request, was very glad to be on his way home. He was one foot out of the door when the teacher called his name. Now, his day had gone pretty well up to that point. Bucky made pancakes for breakfast, which were delicious. There was wayyy less traffic on the way to school. He’d aced an essay and a couple of quizzes, and then he even participated in PE effectively. But alas, all good things had to come to an end.

“Mr. Parker? The discussion.”

“Right,” Peter thought, joining the teacher at his desk.

“Peter, you are truly a great kid. I know you’ve been through a lot recently and in your life, but it is no excuse to make up an internship. We both know that it is not real. Now, acknowledging that you have a bright future, the administration and I have come forward with an offer. If you agree to write an apology, expressing that you understand what you did was wrong and immoral, you will both be allowed to come on the trip and no punishment will be given to you. If you choose to not take this opportunity, you will be banned from the trip and will be chastised.

Peter just stood there, not really comprehending. Apparently Flash’s little rumors were a lot bigger than he anticipated.

“I-i-I’m not lying,” was all he could manage. He had filed all the right paperwork and proved his internship.

“I’m sorry to hear that you will not come forward with the truth. You have up until the day before the trip to hand in the letter if you change your mind. Goodbye Peter.”

Peter just let his legs take him out of the classroom, then out of the school, and then to the road, a couple blocks away, where his dad picks him up from.

“Hello mini-me.”

“Hey,” Peter said, jumping into the passenger seat.

“‘Hi Dad, thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to pick me up each and every day. Sick new car by the way! I’d love to drive it sometime!”

Peter just rolled his eyes with a smile, “Car looks great dad. McLarren’s are superior yet.”

“Ungrateful, so so ungrateful. What’s got you in a mood then?”

“Nothin,” Peter said, pulling out his phone.

“Oh come on, tell me. Tell me or I’ll call Ted.”

“Ned, Dad. We’ve been friends for like three years.”

“Not the point.”

“Just something at school.”

“Wow how very descriptive. You know I’m trying to do the whole feelings thing here, and you should appreciate that coming from my emotionally stunted self.”

“You’re so dramatic. Basically we’re having a field trip to your tower, and I’m not allowed to go because the teacher doesn’t think I really have an “internship.” Which, to be fair I don’t but that’s on you and not me.”

“Nah na na. I offered you an internship, and you said I’d be bored.”

“It would be. Doing a project for your company under strict supervision of some person would be sucky. I mean I can do anything I want from the lab you built me.”

“I know, but remember technically you are my intern. Remember we did that whole personal intern bullshit for the school.”

“Oh right. Is that why you keep harassing me about submitting all my completed projects.”

“No, that’s all your mother. Something about not wanting a lawsuit over a fake internship.”

“Make sense. She tends to be a lot smarter than you.”

“Ah, I feel so attacked. The abuse I suffer.”

“You’re terrible.”

“I am internally crying, kid. Sobbing.”

“Shut up,” we laughed.

“Who’s home?”

“You saw Buck and Sam this morning. Nat and Steve came back from their mission this afternoon. Thor and Loki are back for dinner tonight.. Strange might be coming round, not sure though. Cliff and the family aren’t back for at least a couple weeks. Oh and Bruce is wholed up in his lab as usual.”

“Shit. Everyone staying till the end of the week.”

“Yeah, oh the field trip. You’re screwed. You should have not told me.”

“Ughhhhh!!!”

“I love your life Petey.”

Peter walked into the kitchen and saw Steve reading a newspaper.

“Uncle Steve! Your back!” he smiled, dropping his bag off near the sofa. Steve got up to give the smaller boy a hug.

“Yep. Mission completed.”

“Nice. Can you tell me about it?”

“Yeah, it was nothing too interesting. We just needed some more intel into a terrorist organization stationed in the US. Most of the mission was recon. The next steps are being taken in a couple weeks.”

“Good to know there’s an active terrorist organization out there,” Peter said lightly.

Steve just smiled, not quite understanding the modern humor.

“Where is everyone else?” he said, realizing the living room was not in it’s normal chaotic state that he’d come to love. The chaos was his favorite reminder that he had so many people. He liked having lots of people, even after all this time.

“Nat and Buck are training, they invited you to join if you want. Bruce is in his lab, and dont worry he slept and ate last night. Not sure about the rest.”

“Right, thanks. I think I’m going to go train.”

Before he knew it, it was Friday morning, and his school was coming to his home. He was going to try very hard to ignore them. To do so, he asked his mum to let him sit in on some meetings. He had an easy in to the R&D and mechanical side of the company via the other interns. He was actually planning on hanging out with some of the “other” interns later that day. They were always happy to let Pete in on their projects and let him give them a hand. But he was always interested in getting more detail about the business side of the company, and he liked to get a window into it. Pepper was always happy to show her son the ropes. I mean he was heir to the company after all, even if he didn’t know yet.

He asked his mum to only schedule meetings after 12 as he requested a sleep in. Pepper was always happy when Peter slept as he was a little too much like his father. So, he woke bright and early at 11:00 o’clock.

After a scroll through his phone and a quick shower, he was ready to pull on his far too expensive Brunellio’s custom suit. It was one of his favorites. His father had got it custom made when he was in Italy, and told him he simply could not resist getting one for the kid. Pepper just smiled.

He had a large breakfast (enhanced metabolism) and headed towards the 34th floor where his first meeting was located. He’d been shadowing his mum for almost a year now whenever it was convenient, so he had the rointine down. He was almost sure he could take over a few of her meetings.

“Hi honey,” Pepper said, giving the boy a quick kiss on the cheek on the way to her own chair beside him. Peter blushed before resuming his professional posture and facial expression.

“Good morning everyone, as you can see Peter will be joining us today. I want to talk about some of the services we provide for our employees and their feedback. I’m aware we have a large portion to talk about so Kendra please take it away on that front.”

The first meeting went smoothly as planned. It was a discussion on the progress of the internal services, aka the IT department. Peter hadn’t learned much about their IT department, so it was good to listen in to. Pre these meetings, he, of course, does research into the background stuff, so he’s not completely lost. Pepper’s assistant usually provides him with a packet of info about the Stark Industries side of things. He is also given a list of key words and concepts he might want to make sure he understands. The research is fun for him, it makes him feel all professional.

Usually he spoke during the meetings, asking a couple questions and suggesting some ideas, but for this one he just learned and took in. The next meeting, however, was very much so his field. He’d spoken a lot with advertising, becoming very interested in the data analysis behind it. He even took a stats class so he could keep up. In that one he asked questions Pepper was on the verge of asking twice. He also contributed to the analysis of data once. Pepper usually liked him to participate as it was good for him, but he always felt bad suggesting stuff to the senior adults. He usually spoke to his mum or dad about projects for the company, preferring that.

They hung back in the room of the second meeting.

“Good job in this one Pete. Took two questions right off my tongue.”

“Thanks ma,” he said, always appreciating some approval.

“That’s all I’ve got for you today, kid. Rest of the stuff is, ya know.”

“Course. Thanks for these two. It was good to learn about internal affairs a bit more. Have a gap of knowledge there.”

“Yeah. Was that the first time meeting our CIT?”

“I believe so.”

“Well, next time we have a broader IA meeting, I’ll pull you outta school,” Pepper suggested.

“Really? That’d be epic.”

“Course, hun. Jarvis, sort that out please.”

“Of course Mrs. Potts.”

“Thanks J,” Peter yelled.

“Anytime mini-boss. No need to disturb the entire floor.”

“Are AI supposed to be so snarky?”

“Dad programmed it, what else would it be?”

“Valid point.”

“Right, got to run. See you later.”

“Bye, love you mum!”

“Love you too, Pete.”

“Jarvis, could you send me the tour plan for the visiting tour today?”

“Absolutely, sir. They’re on your phone now.”

“Thanks J.”

Looking at the plans Peter smiled. He had successfully avoided them the entire day. It said they were supposed to head back to school at 2:30, and it was about to be three. Smile on his face, he trotted down to the lobby to grab a coffee before going to meet Loki at the arcade. Don’t judge them, it was their thing. Taking the private lift down, and then walking straight to the coffee stand and ordering.

“Mr. Parker!” he heard the angry voice of his teacher, “How dare you show up here aft-”

Shit. shit. Shit.

“Edith, call dad, and tell him it’s urgent in the lobby.”

“Of course Peter.”

“Peter, are you listening to me! You are going to face extreme consequences for this.”

“Your coffee,” the man said, not realizing it was Peter, level ten personal of the tower, that was being yelled at.

“Thanks.”

“How dare you get coffee! In this building! Security!”

Tony arrived spotting his son instantly.

“Kid this best be impor- I see.”

“Hey Mr. Stark,” Peter said weakly.

“Mr. Harrington is it? Please stop harassing my intern.”

“H-he, he is y-your intern?”

“Yes. My favorite. Please exit the building and never question him again. You will be hearing from me.”

Let’s just say, Monday was an interesting day. At least Flash backed off, he was definitely an intern at SI, and no one embarrassed him on the trip.

#peter parker field trip #irondad #ironfam #iron man #tony stark #pepper potts #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #avengers fanfiction #the avengers #mcu fanfic #bucky barnes #domestic avengers

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youremyonlyhope · 3 years

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Village of the Angels

AKA I battle my sucky wifi for half the episode.

I missed the first 2 minutes because I was helping my dad fix a door. So I have no idea who this guy is or why he's experimenting on Claire.

Oof that demonic voice. "The angel has the TARDIS." I'm sorta sad the angel is gone. I was SO excited to see an angel driving a TARDIS. If only for the chaos. Oooh haven't seen the sonic in a while. "It's a very flat team structure" Yaz, you know it's not. Also whoa that couple saw the police box even through the perception filter. That's just hitting me. Hmm. AH SHOOT, AN IMAGE OF AN ANGEL. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Oh that's fun. The wings. That's so fun. She's an angel. YES... I don't mean to celebrate but I'm excited ok?

Oh my god. I reblogged a post earlier today that was pointing to that lady from the End of Time who covered her face "like the weeping angels of old" and everyone speculating that she's the older lady from last episode. And I know for years we've speculated that that's how angels are made, out of shame or something. I feel like that post was onto something and it's actually related to Claire.

Ok lady did you just bait that priest into finding the Angel? Come on. Dude, there's so much to know about 10 year olds. They rarely shut up. Do you not talk to Peggy at all? Hey it's Bel. Why don't I trust that the coalescence is actually that helpful... Hmm. That shaky-cam shot. "Are they really ringing the doorbell?" Yes. Oooooh that's today. I see what you did there, scheduling team. Fun. WHY WOULD PEOPLE MOVE BACK INTO TOWN BY 1967 IF THEY ALL DISAPPEARED IN 1901? WHY WOULD YOU MOVE TO AN ABANDONED TOWN? NOT THE DUST. CLAIRE TELL THE DOCTOR. Well, at least Yaz and Dan are together. A year with record players at least. Oh poor Dan. "How do we get back?" Either the long way round, or leave a bunch of signs for the Doctor. Or both.

OK WAIT. What if it's the same population or the same descendants of a population, cycling through the same 60-ish years and they keep getting sent back and forth? I'm overthinking.

Also, I just thought of something and promptly forgot it so that's great. OH good I remembered pretty quickly. I was thinking about how we haven't seen Swarm and Azure this episode yet.

UHHH.... ok. Space is just... at the end of the road. Quantum Extraction? Are they saving this town like the dogs saved all of Earth? Am I being optimistic? WE'VE NEVER - wait no we have. I was gonna say we never saw anyone get taken by an angel but then I remembered "Raggedy Man, goodbye" So yes we have. DOCTOR. YOU KNOW BETTER. IMAGE OF AN ANGEL. WHY WOULD YOU MAKE AN IMAGE WITH THE TV? Oh shoot she had an image in her mind didn’t she? Good kill it with fire. AHHH AN ANGEL ON FIRE. Heeyyyyy I called it. Image of an angel in her head. Aww Dr. Eustacious is fun. Ooooh Contact with a non-time lord... Unless.... part of the End of Time angel theory back in the day was that time lords themselves are the ones who turn into angels... so... could Claire be a time lord... I'm overthinking. Ah an Angel who is on the run. Even funner! Love it. Oh no the Division. That's not great.

I missed the reveal of the coalescence because my wifi buffered. Ugh.

Ohhhh there's Azure. Hey girl hey. Cool. Knew I was right to not trust this. OH NO. THAT'S HOW THEY FIND PEOPLE TO PUT IN THE PASSENGER. THAT’S SO CRUEL. Her make-up looks stranger in the warm tones of light. Girl, you gotta stick to your cool colors. It's more flattering. Well Bel. You're a good person even if you're not appreciated. NOBODY SURVIVES IT TWICE OH MY GOD. THAT'S NEW LORE. Oof Peggy is unfazed. Doctor, you gotta start giving universal roaming phones to your companions again. Then again, the Doctor can’t answer the TARDIS phone right now anyway. So that doesn’t matter. "So interested in the workings of other minds, because you can't bear to look into your own." oooh calling him and me out. I mean. That works for getting rid of the image... but... Yep there they are. Coming down the stairs "We have Time" IT'S WORTH NOTING THAT THE CAPTIONS CAPITALIZED TIME AND THAT'S DEFINITELY SIGNIFICANT. Oh great the machine is drawing more images of Angels. UNLESS! UNLESS the Angel in her mind WANTS to be drawn to get out now... Maybe?

Is this is the first Weeping Angel episode that isn't written by Moffat?

WAIT. WHAT IF THE DIVISION IS WHY THE DOCTOR RAN AWAY? WHAT IF JO WAS THE DOCTOR DIRECTLY BEFORE THE FIRST DOCTOR?

Her memories???????? Why don't they just take turns blinking? Chibnall, Moffat always avoided that question, you should get on that. Ooooh Doctor what are you gonna do? "Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow" AWWWWWWWWWW THAT'S SO CUTE. Guys I love Doctor Who. When in doubt, reverse the polarity. GROWLING?!?!?! WHY DID THE CAPTION SAY GROWLING??? OOF. ANGELS IN THE WALLS.

Why is it buffering NOW?! OK. Great

Had to put it on my tv. And I saw all of 2 seconds of Peggy apparently talking to her future self (which I predicted but didn't write down) before it went to the billionth commercial break.

I have no idea what that that glowy rock thing is since I think I missed the explanation. PROFESSOR WHY DO YOU KNOW PEGGY? OH yeah I forgot. She was from the 1960s originally. Carry on. Why... Who is observing.... Oh yay that's a lot of Angels. Well yeah no duh Doctor they were gonna take you. oH NO QUANTUM EXTRACTION. OF THE DOCTOR.

UMMMMMMMMMMMMM

UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

YEAH I WISH I DIDN'T SPECULATE ABOUT TIME LORDS BECOMING ANGELS EARLIER SO MUCH. THIS ISN'T FUN (but also it's kinda fun you gotta admit) HELPPPPP. THE DOCTOR IS AN ANGEL.

There are still a few minutes left, but this isn't great. Where's Jo or even the Master when you need a TARDIS to come save people?

WOAH WOAH CREDITS??? THAT’S WHERE YOU LEAVE THIS?! Vinder my baby! Annnnd more buffering. I gotta rewatch this whole episode.

I made my dad put it back on the TV. Got to see Bel's message for Vinder but not how he got it. And then the rest of the credits.

THEN! Right as I go to leave the room to finally reboot the wifi! I see the promo and most importantly: KATE LETHBRIDGE-STEWART!!!! I gasped. I feel like I vaguely knew she'd show up. But I was so happy.

Time to proofread and get mad about how much I missed from buffering. I might have to just force my parents to deal with me having Doctor Who on the TV next week and for the finale since watching it online even through Spectrum's website does not work with how bad our wifi is.

That was a fun time. I gotta read a synopsis for the parts I missed. I also need to confirm if this really is the first non-Moffat Weeping Angel episode. I’m like 99% sure it is.

#hope watches doctor who #ignore me if you want #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers #doctor who

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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1030

1. What did you do on the last nice weather day? I’m guessing ‘nice’ here universally means sunny and fair, even though that isn’t my weather of choice. But that said, yesterday I just stayed indoors and caught up on rest by binge-watching Friends, which I haven’t done in a while. I also ordered another embroidery kit online since my first kit, which I had mostly used as a trial since I’ve never done one before, has since run out of the given floss.

2. What do you love the most about your work? I work in an agency, so I’m not forced to do PR under just one company which I think would get boring for me pretty quickly. With the nature of my work, it’s fun working with many different brands/companies at one time because I get to be exposed to and learn about different industries, and I’m also challenged to come up with campaigns that would best fit the different groups that we work with which is always fun. Also, PR is a great way to keep up with the trends and always remain hip because I always know about upcoming campaigns or promos before they’re even unveiled to the public, lol.

3. What do you think about what is going on in the world today? I think wealthy people and big corporations are a crucial, if not the main, root of the world’s problems and it’s frustrating that the task of mitigating those issues is always delegated to everyone below them.

4. What is your favorite way to work out? By not doing so, hahaha.

5. What motivates you? I don’t know if anything has been lately. I’ve been taking life slowly and easily these days and I’m allowing myself to just go through the motions as I digest all these big adjustments currently going on in my life. For now I’m not putting any pressure on myself to be motivated to do anything big. I’m still a little overwhelmed with everything as it is.

...where’s #6?

7. What is something people do that drives you crazy? When people need something from you so they message you, but do unnecessary small talk before asking for a favor. The fact that they need my help does not bother me; the fact that they are only talking to me because they need something from me does not bother me. It’s the small talk that irks me. I’ll be ready to help anybody at any time and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since we’ve spoken – but just go ahead and ask for the damn thing and don’t waste my time trying to sound like you care about what’s going on in my life.

8. What are some things on your bucket list? Go to Wrestlemania, travel with my own funds, have my own place, have kids.

9. What are some of your deal breakers in a relationship? Do I even have any? Gab dropped so many red flags in our relationship that should have been dealbreakers and my dumb, ever-forgiving ass always saw past them. I think the thing with me is that I think I have a list of dealbreakers, but when actually confronted with them I’m too afraid to speak out about it, so I just forgive and forget and eventually they just stop being dealbreakers. I have to work on that.

10. What do you never leave your house without? My top three are phone, keys, wallet. And of course, as a given – a face mask and face shield.

11. What was your most memorable vacation? Sagada and Singapore/Malaysia, since that was my first trip abroad.

12. Do you have any phobias? Needles and fire.

13. What is your favorite ethnic food? Indian, Thai, Indonesian, and Korean. 14. I love Italian/Thai etc. Would you like to go to my favorite place sometime? I love both, though I like Thai a tad bit more. And yessss, I’m always open to anyone’s recommendations so long as it’s got something to do with food.

15. What TV shows have you binged lately? I’ve been rewatching Friends again and I’m in between seasons 5–7, which I believe to be the show’s peak. Currently, I’m several episodes away from the Ross/Elizabeth storyline and Chandler’s proposal.

16. Send me a funny meme that you shared recently. I haven’t been active on social media, so I haven’t seen any new memes lately. I hate missing out.

17. What do you hate about technology? This is more nitpickiness on my end than anything else, but battery power. I hate being constantly cautious over my gadget running out of power or dying on me especially when I’m out. I often find myself wishing for technology to evolve to the point that we won’t need batteries or to charge stuff anymore, which idek if it’s even possible haha.

18. What sites do you find yourself visiting the most? YouTube, by a mile.

19. Do you have any favorite apps? Again, YouTube. I also like going through Reddit at the end of the day.

20. What is the best part of your day? Any point I don’t find myself feeling miserable.

21. What time period would you like to visit the most, if you could time travel? 70′s punk/rock scene, maybe? < Ooh, this is a good one. Also, late 90s Attitude Era-era WWF/E. And whenever Pompeii was around.

22. What scents do you really enjoy? (a certain flower, cut grass, fireplace, perfume) Bakeries, a newly-cleaned hotel room, coffee shops.

23. What is something that you are terrible at? Giving and following directions, drawing, and cooking.

24. What are some favorites on your playlist right now? Because I mentioned The Japanese House on a survey last night, I am ALL over Saw You In A Dream again. Seriously, god-tier. One of my favorites ever. Outside of that, haven’t been listening to music lately because I’m still sad; but I might find myself back on Spotify soon. As much as I haven’t been tuning into music, I do miss it.

25. What comedy movie is your favorite? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Also, a bit of a garbage choice but White Chicks.

26. Have you ever meditated? No. I don’t think I have the patience/required attention span for it.

27. What is your dream job? I wanted to be in PR. I currently work at an agency which is my dream for now so yay for me achieving that, but like I’ve said before it would be such a dream come true if I can come work for WWE, my dream company, in any capacity. Getting to work for their in-house PR team would be the perfect icing on the cake.

28. What comes to mind when you think of a great moment in your life? Being in a relationship, and how much I miss that feeling. Now that I’ve experienced both singlehood and having an SO, I can definitely decide that I don’t particularly enjoy being by myself.

29. What do you miss the most about college? The independence I learned to gain. My campus was such a freeing environment and it allowed me to grow so much, to wear whatever I want, to join whatever protest or rally was going on, to meet new people, to hear different perspectives from my classmates. I miss being there.

30. Whenever you text it makes me smile! ???

31. What are you planning this weekend? My weekend is nearly over, actually...for the remaining 10 hours and 20 minutes of it, I willllll probably just watch a bunch of wrestling and maybe find something to watch on Netflix just so that I have something interesting to share for the weekly check-in tomorrow with the team.

32. Who is your favorite band? Paramore, but you knew that already.

33. How do you like to spend your free time? If I manage to find a few free minutes while at work, I gobble that shit up by lying in bed and finding a video to watch. On weekends I like doing embroidery, taking surveys, maybe even find a black hole of articles to read on Wikipedia. I’m also looking forward to playing video games once I’ve finally bought the ones I’ve been eyeing to get.

34. What do you like about springtime? I don’t know. I can’t relate, we don’t have that season.

35. Is your personality similar to anyone in your family? I’m most similar with my mom, but I share traits with my dad as well.

36. How have you handled having to stay in? It was sucky at first, but after eight months you kinda get used to it and just make the most out of things you can do only at home.

37. Are you able to work at home? Yeah, we’re all on a WFH set-up right now.

38. How would your friends describe you? The most popular opinion would probably be ‘shy.’

39. Did you ever take a really big risk? Sure.

40. What do you want to be known or remembered for? Anything but negatively.

#survey #surveys

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canaryatlaw · 4 years

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okay, let’s go. today was.....mixed. ugh. tonight was fun but earlier in the day was bad. so basically, I got up at 8:45 for court as usual, and I was thinking maybe I could get a nap in after court, but then I remembered I had to go into the office today which was a big ughhh. but I had this motion up in court and like, I’d found this perfect section of the statute that should’ve made like an automatic dismissal, but the dude asked for time to get an attorney even though this is like the 4th time he’s done this and never actually shown up with one, and the judge gave him a 3 week date for that which was a major ugh, I have no doubt we’ll prevail on the motion, I just would’ve preferred to have it out of the way sooner rather than later, but whatever. I was supposed to be at the office by 11 and by the time we were done it was like 10:15 and it’s a bit of a drive (stupid commute, though uber is a lot faster than public transit, but it’s also hella more expensive but thankfully my work is footing the bill, otherwise I really don’t know what I’d do). so I got ready quickly and then ubered over there. Since we’re no longer picking up orders in person and just having them emailed, there’s really not much to actually do at the office, like you can water the plants and check on a few things (we’re supposed to check the mail but I sort of forgot where that is so I’ve just been not doing that knowing the person the next day will do it). So I sat and worked for a bit, had a few client calls and ended up turning in one emergency motion which was the other reason we were supposed to do at the office, but of course with the 3 pm deadline I get it emailed to me at 2:50 so I have to download it, print it, fill out the cover sheet and bring it over to the clerk’s office by 3, so I was running all over the place doing that and made it at like 2:57, and they at least accepted it then, then for some reason I have no idea why the last three pages of the file just didn’t print?? no clue how that happened, so I had to go back and print those out, two times as they realized each was missing. so that was a bit of a workout if not anything else haha but at least I got to do something and my coming in wasn't totally worthless. After that I finished a client call (it’s the one I’m rather fond of, so we tend to talk for a while). Then since it was past 3 I was officially done and could head out, requesting my uber, walking out from the front of the courthouse towards the street, andddddd then suddenly I started shaking and couldn’t keep my balance, even with my cane out. Thankfully there were a few guys out there that jumped into help me, so I only fell once at least. we were able to get the uber driver to come right up to where we were and then made sure I got into the car okay, assuring them that by the time I got home I’d be fine (ha ha ha). All the while of course I’m insisting I’m okay and I’ve already been to the doctors and hospital for it and they can’t tell what it is, so this is just my life right now. unfortunately when I got home I got out of the car convinced I’d be fine because it normally goes away after I’ve been sitting for a while, but I made it a few steps onto the sidewalk and started shaking badly again, and the uber driver very kindly got back out of his car and walked me to the door on the side of the building I use, so I have to make sure I go back to the app and give him a generous tip for his help, once I was into the building at least I could crawl up the stairs (fund times, really) and use my doorknob to pull myself up enough to unlock my door. then of course once I get inside my apartment I’m pretty much fine, because this whole thing is stupidly in my brain and I feel like such a fuck up because it gets worse in front of people and on things like crosswalks and then goes away when I get home and that I should be able to fix that because that's just my body being stupid and it’s my fault for not being able to control it. ugh. anyway. Earlier in the morning I had looked at a promotion on the postmates app saying they were giving out free beignets as a promotion for some show that were like totally free, no money needed to be sent, so I messaged friend and was like hell yeah we’ll get free beignets tonight, so we ordered one of our breakfast orders for dinner just because it wasn’t too heavy, and then discovered the free beignets had apparently sold out, but fuck that now I wanted them, so after some perusing multiple food apps we were able to locate so and have them delivered to us, so I was pleased with that. we mostly just talked and watched kpop videos and then started plotting out a writing project friend is going to start with the most absolutely ridiculous ideas and we were both in stitches laughing at it. Eventually friend left, and I just put on Seinfeld for something mindless to watch, and after like two episodes I think I shut it off to shower and start getting ready for bed and now it’s like 2:15 am so I clearly need to go to sleep, so I’ll be doing that now. Goodnight babes. Hope your Monday didn’t have the sucky parts mines did.

#daily journal #September 2020

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mxliv-oftheendless · 4 years

Text

Let’s Fall in Love

Now I know what you’re all thinking: “But Livvie, you’re always so vocal about your opinion of Valentine’s Day and its inherent capitalism and societal pressure to be in a relationship and general stupidity! Why have you written a story for it?” Well, turns out when you have a soul, you can’t not get caught up in the romantic spirit somehow *shrugs*. This is by far the lamest, sappiest thing I have ever written in my entire life. It took me a while to finish writing because I did my French homework beforehand and my brain got fried (side note: learning a foreign language is exhausting). But I got it done, so yay me!

I’ve also written this because IT’S @cosmicrealmofkissteria ‘s BIRTHDAY! And since she wrote an epic story as a present for me, it’s only fair I do the same. Hope you enjoy, Shandi, and happy birthday!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The camera opens on Gene, who smiles and waves. “Hey there. If you’re watching this, this is the first video I’m making for my new flash drive, because I used up all the storage on my last one.”

From beyond the camera comes Paul’s voice calling, “Again!”

“Shut up, Paul. Anyway, you know the drill…”

“Who are you even talking to?” Paul’s voice comes again. Gene rolls his eyes and turns the camera around to Paul, who is sitting in a chair with his legs over the armrest and his laptop in his lap. “You keep saying you’re recording these for posterity, but… are you just talking to yourself and lying about it?”

“Shut up, Paul.”

“I’m just saying, man. I mean, I know why you do this. But from an outsider’s perspective, it’s kind of weird.”

“And from an outsider’s perspective, your obsession with stars is weird.”

Paul is silent for a moment, then nods. “Fair.”

He turns back to his laptop and Gene turns the camera back around. “Anyway, as I was saying. You know the drill. I’m Gene, I’m a co-owner of the awesome wine bar known as Cellar 82. I’m 33, and I am still single. But, oddly,” Gene shrugs, “I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about how sucky that is. I guess FRIENDS was wrong about that.”

“FRIENDS was wrong about a lot of stuff,” Paul’s voice comes again. “They tried to make us think Ross wasn’t a total loser.”

Gene nods. “That is true. Anyway, yeah. Still single. I’ve been on some blind dates with people my friends keep telling me are “just perfect for me!” but… nothing’s worked out. And that’s fine.

“Let’s see, what else… Paul finally got me to watch a bootleg of Phantom of the Opera.”

“It’s amazing, right?”

Gene shrugs, but is smirking slightly “Eh. The book was better.”

“… I know you’re trolling me, but I’m prepared to fight you on that.”

Gene laughs. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Seriously though, it was pretty good. At least it explains why Paul keeps dramatically reenacting it in the shower.” He looks to the side and laughs. “Paul just gave me the bird.

“Anyway… that’s all I can think of to say right now. So that does it for this video. Bye for now!” He waves. The camera screen goes black.

The camera opens on Gene, who is smiling. “So get this: I met someone last night. I probably sound like a teenage girl, but it’s pretty exciting. His name’s Vinnie, he’s got long hair down to about here,” he gestures to just below his shoulders, “and green eyes. But… and don’t tell Paul I said this… they’re really nice-looking green eyes. And it gets even better: he’s an Egyptologist. I never thought I’d meet one in real life. He’s in the graduate program at the university. He was at the wine bar with his friends because he apparently just got back from a research trip to Egypt and they dragged him out to celebrate. You’d never tell he was in Egypt, though; he’s kind of pale. But a pretty kind of pale.

“We got to talking because he heard the rock music playing and asked if it was Deep Purple. I didn’t even think he would know who they were, but he did. He knows a lot of rock bands. We could have talked about it more, but he went off to be with his friends.”

Gene rubs the back of his neck. “Is it weird that I kind of want to see him again? I’ll cop to it; he’s not the type I would normally go for. But I liked talking to him. He has a nice laugh, too. I told him he and his friends could come back anytime, and he said he thought it was a nice place so they might. I hope he comes back…”

The camera opens on Gene again, who is lying on his stomach looking sadly at the camera. “It’s been two weeks now, and Vinnie hasn’t come back. And I haven’t seen him around, either. In other news, another blind date. This one was set up by Eric with one of his fellow librarians. She was nice enough… but the date was really awkward. I don’t think it’s gonna go anywhere… as usual.”

Gene sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “I dunno what’s wrong with me, but I can’t stop thinking about him. Vinnie, I mean. Do you think he liked me? People say I’m kind of unapproachable… but he didn’t seem to mind, or have any problem talking to me. I just want to see him again, and maybe then I can finally work up the balls to ask him out.

“But then there’s… well, this, to think about. What if, if I ever see him again, it goes somewhere, and I show him I do this, and he gets weirded out by it? It’s not like what Paul said before is a lie—people who don’t know what this is to me think this is weird. But maybe… maybe I can cross that bridge when I get there—if I even get there at all. I haven’t even seen him again yet.

“Well… here’s hoping I see him again. Anyway, as for the rest of my life…” He shrugs. “Same old shit. Bar’s still getting good reviews… but it’s had good reviews since we opened, so that’s not new. No new episodes from Buzzfeed Unsolved yet. Rick and Morty… still a wild show. It’s gotten even wilder if possible. But I can make a separate video about that. And, uh… that’s pretty much it. So I guess I’ll sign off for the night. This is Gene Simmons, signing off.”

The camera opens on Gene, who looks giddy. “You’ll never guess what happened: scientists proved ghosts are real.

“No, I’m just kidding. I wish, but anyway… Vinnie came back! Turns out he and his friends do a tri-weekly Guys Night Out, and they’re really serious about it. They would even FaceTime Vinnie while he was in Egypt. They liked the wine bar so much they decided to come back for their next one.

“So I got to talk to Vinnie again—he remembered my name, can you believe that?—and like I said I would, I worked up the guts to ask him out. And he said yes! I’m gonna pick him up from his loft—he and his friends live together—and take him out to this coffee place down the block from the wine bar.” Gene holds up crossed fingers. “Here’s hoping it goes well.”

We see Gene, who is lying on his stomach and looking happily at the camera. “So I just got back from my date with Vinnie. I suppose you’re wondering how it went, huh? Well…” He slowly bows his head…

… then looks back up at the camera with a big smile. “It went really well! We talked about our favorite bands, and Vinnie’s job… you should’ve seen his face when he was talking about Egypt. He was so into it. Then he asked me how the wine bar got started, so I told him about how Paul and I decided to open it together. He thought it was really cool how we know so much about different wines.

“Actually, we were there for a pretty long time. I was hoping it would last an hour, at most. But as we’re getting up to leave, I look at my watch, and it’s been three hours! I’ve never had a date last that long, or one that seemed to go by that fast. We made plans to meet for dinner next week.” Gene checks his watch. “I should probably sign off for now. I told Tommy I’d take over his morning shift tomorrow.” He flashes the camera another smile. “Today’s been a good day. Can’t wait to see Vinnie again.”

Music is playing in the background. The camera has opened on Paul, who gives a smile and a peace sign. “Hey there, posterity. It’s me, ya boi. Check this out.”

He turns the camera around to reveal Gene moving around the kitchen area. Paul zooms the camera in on him. He looks to be in a very good mood as he pours cereal into a bowl, nodding his head along to the music. The camera turns back to Paul, who gives the camera a lost look and shrug. “He’s been like this all morning. He’s only had one cup of coffee so far. Oh, and you probably can’t hear it on the recording, but he’s humming. Actually humming along to the music. I’ve narrowed down the possibilities of what could’ve happened to him to two: either Trump’s been assassinated, or his date last night with Vinnie went really well. And since Trump’s unfortunately still alive and well, then that means it was his date with Vinnie. I just—” Paul stops and looks up. His eyes widen as a voice can be made out. “Oh my God…”

He turns the camera around and zooms in on Gene again. We can now hear Gene singing along to the music. “—fall in love/Our hearts are made of it/Let’s take a chance/Why be afraid of it…”

The camera turns back around to a shocked Paul. “He’s singing along now!” he whispers. “Oh my God… I’m so glad I decided to make a recording of this. This is a historic moment, people!”

“Paul, what are you doing?” Gene’s voice suddenly says, making Paul look up at him. “Is that Shannon? Paul, what are you doing with Shannon?”

“I’m documenting history, Gene. Also, I still say you could give your camera a better name than ‘Shannon’. Peter’s cats have better names than that.”

“Fuck you, Shannon’s a great name.”

“You could’ve named her Diane. Then at least more people would get the Twin Peaks reference.” Paul watches Gene for a moment, then sighs and turns back to the camera. “And he just flipped me off. Well, looks like the moment’s gone. But at least you got to see it for yourselves.” He glances up at Gene. “I should probably give Shannon back to him now before he tries to snatch it. So I guess bye for now, posterity!” He blows a kiss at the camera and turns it off.

Gene is sitting on his bed, leaning back against the headboard. He has a nervous look on his face. “Hey there. So, um… I did something kind of impulsive today, and… everything was fine, but…” he sighs and runs his hand over his face. “I don’t know. I guess I should give some background first.

“So as you probably know, I’ve been dating Vinnie for nearly three months now. Given how he’s a part-time research assistant and working his way through grad school, that probably isn’t that impressive. He keeps apologizing for having to decline going out together, but it’s fine, I get it. Tommy and Ace were like that when Ace was working on his astronomy PhD. So I get it. But the thing is… Vinnie actually works to make time for going out with me. Like, he’ll message me things like…” The camera shakes as Gene fumbles for his phone and opens it. “Like this: I can ask Lita if I can leave early on Thursday. It’ll be short notice, but she probably won’t mind. And I just…” Gene runs a hand through his hair. “No one I’ve ever had a long-term relationship with has ever done that for me before. They would always say things like, Oh, sorry, I can’t, I have Such-n-Such at seven. I remember my high school girlfriend said one time that she couldn’t go out because she had StuGo till five. And I said, ‘well, how about afterwards?’ And she got all snippy and said ‘no, cuz I have to do my homework when I get home.’ Actually she was also the one that dumped me for that blond fuck Vince… Anyway, point is, no girlfriend or boyfriend I’ve ever had has ever done that. It was either they could or they couldn’t. Except Vinnie…

“But I digress. Anyway, Vinnie and I’ve been dating for almost three months, and whenever I do see him…” Gene sighs and smiles a little. “It’s great. We haven’t just gone out to restaurants; we’ve gone to the movies, I went over to his and his friends’ loft once and he comes over here…” Gene smirks a bit. “I’m happy to report I still got it in the boudoir. His friends seem to like me, and Paul likes Vinnie. It’s been… pretty amazing. I really like him. He’s really smart, even if he knows next to nothing about horror movies, he’s got good music tastes, he’s funny, his laugh is… like music to my ears, and he’s incredibly attractive. Actually, he’s sort of insecure about how he looks—can you believe that? I don’t give a damn that he looks kind of feminine, he’s beautiful. And whenever I’m with him, I just think, how can someone this amazing exist? And want to spend his time with me? I just… fuck, am I digressing again? Sorry.

“Anyways, to get back to what I started this with… I told him about this. About Shannon and my video diaries. I didn’t tell him why, because… well, I kinda chickened out of that. He was curious about it—apparently, he’s never met someone who makes video diaries. So I told him about when I first got started making them, and went on from there. And the whole time he never looked put off or weirded out by it—he just looked really interested. And I guess that’s what made me say what I asked next: I asked if he wanted to be in one.”

Gene presses his mouth into a line. “Yeah… I didn’t realize what I said until after I said it. He just stared at me for a second, I think I took him by surprise. I was sure he was going to say no. But then… then he said sure, if I felt okay about him being in it. He’s coming over tomorrow.

“I definitely feel like I should be more excited than I actually am. This… well, you know how much this stuff means to me. I’ve never shared this with any of the other people I’ve dated. This is my own personal thing. But Vinnie… it just sort of slipped out. Does that mean something?”

Gene sighs and runs his hand through his hair again. “God, what am I doing… I’m psyching myself out again. It’s probably not going to be as bad as I’m worrying it’ll be. He didn’t seem to judge me when I was telling him about it, so he probably won’t judge me tomorrow. He’s not like that; he’s better than that.” Gene slowly smiles. “Yeah… Yeah, I think it’ll be fine. Paul’s gonna be home tomorrow too, and he gets it. Yeah, it’ll all be fine.

“Well, I guess I’ll sign off for now and go to bed. Stay tuned tomorrow for when you finally meet this Vinnie I’ve told you so much about.”

The camera opens on a black shirt, then rustles and is lifted up. Vinnie is sitting on the couch, looking at the camera. “Is this fine?” he asks.

“It’s perfect,” Gene replies from behind the camera.

“Okay… So, what should I do?”

“How about… your name, your age, your job, your favorite band, and one fun fact about yourself.”

Vinnie laughs. “Okay.” He smiles and waves at the camera. “Hi! I’m Vinnie, I’m 30, I’m an Egyptologist and work as a research assistant, my favorite band is…” he laughs nervously, “I don’t know, there are so many good ones…”

“You don’t have to say one if you can’t think of one,”

“Okay. I have a lot of favorite bands. And a fun fact about me is…”

“You’re short,”

Vinnie scoffs at Gene. “Well, we can’t all be over six feet tall. Here’s a fun fact about me: I like Star Trek more than Star Wars.”

“Take that back,”

Vinnie smirks at him. “Why don’t you make me?”

“You’re kidding, I know you’re kidding,”

Vinnie laughs. “Okay, okay, I’m kidding. A true fun fact about me is… I’ve seen every season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” The scene is quiet. He looks at Gene behind the camera. “I’m serious.”

“… You’re actually serious?” The camera zooms in on Vinnie’s face. “You need to explain. Now. Because I’m sorry, but if you’re a fan of the Kardashians I may have to question our relationships.”

Vinnie laughs. “Don’t worry, Genie, I’m not a fan of the Kardashians. Never in a million years.”

“Thank God. But you still have to explain.”

“Okay, fine. What happened was, Mark and I had a bet where the loser had to binge watch all the seasons of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and I lost. I spent the next two and a half weeks watching every episode whenever I had free time, and they’re two and a half weeks of my life I’ll never get back.”

“How was it?”

“If you think watching their drama every week is bad enough, try watching all of their drama at once.”

Gene winces. “That sounds horrible,”

Vinnie nods. “Like I said, two and a half weeks of my life I’ll never get back.”

“Ugh, did I just hear Keeping Up With the Kardashians?” Paul’s disgusted-sounding voice comes from in the background. “I’m sorry, but if you’re gonna be talking about that crap, you’re gonna have to leave.”

“Shut up, Paul,” Gene replies. “He’s not a fan.”

“I had a bet with Mark and lost, and so had to binge watch the whole show,” Vinnie explains.

“And?”

“Absolutely hated it,”

Paul’s voice sounds satisfied. “Good. Gene, you better not lose this one; he’s a keeper.”

Vinnie laughs, while Gene’s voice is embarrassed. “Don’t you have a Phantom of the Opera number to reenact?”

“It’s fine,” Vinnie laughs. “I don’t mind.”

“You say that now, but after you spend some more time around him, that may change,”

Vinnie shrugs. “I doubt it; I do live with Mark and Dana, after all.” He gives Gene a cheeky smile. “Am I a keeper, Genie?”

“Welllll…” the camera zooms in on Vinnie’s face, while he tries not to laugh. Then it zooms back out again. “Yeah. You’re a keeper, alright.”

Vinnie smiles. “Thank you. So are you.” The camera feed is silent for a beat. “So… should I say goodbye, or…”

“Oh! Oh yeah, uh, yeah, you should.”

“Okay.” Vinnie grins at the camera and waves. “Well, it was nice to meet Shannon. She’s a very nice lady, very efficient. Once again, I’m Vinnie. Bye!”

The camera opens on Gene. He is lying on his stomach on his bed, and gazes sadly at the camera. “Hi. It’s Gene. And… my life’s been a mess the past few days. Vinnie and I… well, we’re not talking. We haven’t even texted, except for…” Gene’s eyes blink rapidly, “for just now. Um, I should probably start at the beginning, huh?

“So, Vinnie’s video diary was about a month ago. And since then we got… more serious. He was—been—fuck, I don’t fucking know grammar anymore, my life’s such a mess. He’s been coming over a lot more. We made dinner together once. We watched movies, and… all that. It was great. And after he seemed to be totally fine with me making video diaries, I started making more videos with him in it. And at first it was fine—he just laughed and went along with it. But after a while…” Gene sighs and runs a hand over his face. “Fuck, I didn’t even realize this until I thought back… After a while, he started getting… less fine with it. I think—no, he was definitely more annoyed than he let on. But I never noticed; I was just so happy that he didn’t think I was weird for doing it. I-I should’ve paid more attention…

“Um, anyway, that brings me to… to a few days ago. Vinnie came over to watch… what was it? It was… I don’t even remember. Not that it matters. He came over to watch a movie, and I… he looked so handsome and I couldn’t help myself and… and pulled out Shannon while he was making popcorn. When he saw Shannon, he sighed heavily, like a really frustrated sigh, and asked if I could turn it off. And that’s what got my attention: he’s always been careful to call Shannon “her”, and this time he called her “it.” So I was kind of caught off guard, so I turned her off and asked what was wrong. And… it took him a few seconds to answer, but… he really didn’t have to in the end. He was trying to give me an excuse other than the truth.

“He… He asked me why I’m always pulling Shannon out and making videos, even when I don’t have to. I told him it was for posterity, like I usually do. But that… that, um, wasn’t enough for him. He said I should try to spend time away from making video diaries for a while, and unplug. That’s the word he used: unplug. And…” he sighs heavily. “Does it even matter what I said to that? It doesn’t seem like it matters much now; the ending’s still the same. I got kind of put off by what he was saying, he got more annoyed at me, which got me more frustrated at him, and… well, one thing led to another, and… and eventually we were just shouting at each other. We were yelling back and forth, and—and throwing insults at each other… until finally he just stormed out.

“And… And that’s it. I haven’t talked to him since. Haven’t gone to try and see him when he’s working, haven’t called him… I only worked up the balls to text him an apology a few hours ago.” He laughs humorlessly. “Can you believe that? I apologized over text instead of in person… how pathetic is that? No wonder he took two hours to respond… I was sure he wouldn’t even respond at all, even though at the same time I was checking my phone every five minutes. Then when he did respond, all he said was…” Gene swallows roughly. “It just said, I don’t want to talk right now. That’s it. Nothing else.”

Gene sighs and runs his hand across his face and through his hair. “I can’t believe it. Four months of everything going amazing and I fucked it all up because I’m too emotionally attached to my camera. Fuck, I wonder what Dr. Aucoin would say if he could see me right now… this probably wasn’t what he was thinking of when he suggested I start making these. I took it too far… This is my fault. I can’t believe Vinnie didn’t get annoyed sooner. He’s too patient…” Gene gives a wet laugh. “Goddammit, Vinnie’s amazing. He’s a treasure. I don’t care about all the stuff about him I get bothered with. I don’t care that he’s such a perfectionist. He’s too good for me… He has been from the moment I met him. And now he might want to break up with me over this… and he would be totally justified in wanting that.

“Well, you heard it right here. Once again I manage to fuck up everything, only this time I managed to fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to me in years… maybe my entire life. I, um, don’t know when the next time I make one of these will be. It might actually be never this time. So, if this really is my last video diary…” he shrugs sadly. “I’m sorry. I wish I could end things on a lighter note, but… guess I can’t. So…” he waves despondently at the camera. “Possibly for the last time ever… this is Gene Simmons, signing off.”

The screen goes black.

The camera opens on Vinnie, who is staring sadly at it. He looks like he’s been crying. “Hi, it’s… it’s Vinnie. Um… you probably know what’s been happening… and it’s my fault. I could never understand why Gene’s always making these video diaries, always documenting everything… but now I know. Paul gave me all the flash drives, all the videos he’s ever made, and I watched them all. I…” He sniffs and wipes his eyes. “I feel so horrible. This is all my fault. I… I had no idea. I’m so sorry… I-I wish I could tell him how sorry I am. But I’m… I’m scared. What if he doesn’t forgive me? If I were him, I wouldn’t forgive me. But I want him to forgive me. At the very least I want him to know how sorry I am, and how ashamed of myself I am. Gene is… he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. He’s sweet, he’s funny, and he makes me…” Vinnie is getting closer to tears now “he makes me so happy. I… I think I—”

“Vinnie?” Gene’s voice is suddenly heard from off-camera. Vinnie jumps and whirls his head around to the side. “What are you doing?”

“I-I… I…”

Vinnie quickly fumbles with the camera, and the screen goes black.

The camera screen shakes for a couple seconds, until it is raised and focused on Gene. He’s lying in bed on his side, shirtless, and smiles. He speaks quietly. “Hey there. So, turns out that wasn’t my last video after all. Which… thank God. I missed getting my thoughts out to a cold, unfeeling camera lens.” He smiles wider and chuckles. “Not that Shannon’s cold and unfeeling. She’s a good listener. Which reminds me…”

Gene sits up and fumbles with the camera. He turns it around and aims it at his bed. Lying in bed asleep, also shirtless, is Vinnie. His body is turned towards Gene’s side of the bed. Gene keeps the camera on him for a couple seconds, then turns it back around to himself, smiling. “Yep. We talked, we talked a lot actually, but we talked everything out, told each other we were sorry and then that we forgave each other, and then…” He trails off and grins. “Well, I’m sure you can connect the dots yourself.

“It’s actually kind of funny how it started. Apparently, Paul got tired of seeing me moping for the past week and a half, and decided to, without telling me, tell Vinnie why exactly I make my video diaries. So he got all my flash drives together—and I mean every single one—he even made a copy of the videos on my current flash drive—went over to Vinnie’s loft, and gave them to him, telling him to watch them all. And… And he did. He was over here at our place because he was returning the flash drives, and while he was in my room he saw Shannon. And that’s when I walked in on him talking to Shannon and looking like he was going to cry. He, uh, he actually did cry. And then… we talked. He said he was sorry for everything he said, and for not realizing what these mean to me, and I said I’m sorry for how much I was aiming Shannon at his face.” Gene shrugs sheepishly, smiling. “I mean, I still feel bad, but can you blame me? He’s got a pretty face.”

A hand suddenly passes up his chest to wrap around his shoulders and the top of Vinnie’s head appears. His smile widens and he looks down. “Good morning to you.” He leans down to kiss the top of Vinnie’s head.

“Morning…” Vinnie sits up to lean his head on Gene’s shoulder and rubs his eyes. “Mmm… I woke up and you were talking to yourself…” He sees the camera, and smiles. “Oh.” He rests his head on Gene’s shoulder. “Good morning, Shannon. And… what’s the word you used?”

“Posterity?”

“That’s it. Good morning, posterity.” He smirks a bit. “It’s me, ya boi.”

Gene groans and rolls his eyes. “You got that from Paul, didn’t you?”

“It’s what he uses whenever he makes an appearance… I know he does it to annoy you, but I thought it was kind of funny.”

Gene smiles a bit. “It’s less annoying coming from you… You have a way with words.”

Vinnie looks up at him and smiles. “Well, thank you.” He leans up to kiss Gene’s cheek. Gene turns his head and kisses him full on the lips.

When they pull away Gene speaks. “I just thought of something,”

Vinnie puts his head back on Gene’s shoulder. “Mmm hmm?”

“You apologized to me… but you never apologized to Shannon.”

“I…” Vinnie looks up at him blankly. “What?”

Gene nods his head at the camera. “Shannon. You never apologized to Shannon. You called her an it, Vinnie. She’s had a pretty hard time coming back from that, especially after how you were so nice to her before.”

Vinnie glances at the camera. He’s smiling slightly, but there’s also some guilt on his face. “I did do that…”

“Yeah. Plus you didn’t even thank her for letting you record yourself yesterday.” Gene says all of this in a very serious voice. “So? Does she not deserve an apology?”

“Yes, she does.” Vinnie turns to look apologetically at the camera. “I’m sorry I called you an it, Shannon. I was annoyed at how much I saw you; that was rude and wrong of me. And thank you for letting me record myself yesterday.” He looks up at Gene. “Does she accept my apology?”

Gene leans in off to the side to look at the camera, then leans back smiling. “She forgives you,”

Vinnie smiles happily. “Thank you, Shannon. You’re a special lady. Also,” his smile turns suggestive as he glances up at Gene, “I had no idea your user was that good. Last night was fucking amazing.”

Gene’s smile widens. “I should be surprised at hearing you swear… but I heard enough of that last night.”

Laughing, Vinnie waggles his eyebrows at the camera. “What can I say? I forgot my manners.”

“Also, I’m not sure if I ever mentioned this before, but Vinnie has an ankh tattoo.”

“Mmm hmm,” Vinnie nods proudly. “I got it in Alexandria. It’s about as big as my hand, and it’s black, but I regret nothing.”

“Wanna show them where it is?”

Vinnie laughs. “No thanks.” He winks at the camera. “Sorry, but only Gene will ever know that.” He sits up a bit and smiles suggestively at Gene. “Want to see it again?”

Gene grins back. “I’d love to. Just gimme a sec.” He fumbles with the camera and turns it off.

When the camera is turned on, with Paul holding it, we see the interior of Cellar 82. It is crowded with people, and voices and music fill the background. “Hey, posterity,” Paul says, raising his voice so he can be heard. “It’s me, ya boi. I’m borrowing Shannon, but Gene probably won’t mind.” He turns the camera away from him and moves it to pan around the room. “So as you can see, we’ve got a full house here in Cellar 82 tonight. Why, you ask? Well…”

He moves the camera and zooms it in on Tommy and Ace, who are dancing together in the middle of a makeshift dance floor. He zooms out and turns the camera back to himself. “Ace finally proposed to Tommy. They took things seriously slow while he was working on his PhD, moved in together after he got it, and to celebrate being ten years sober, Ace finally decided to pop the question. About fuckin’ time, if you ask me.

“But while Ace and Tommy are great together, they’re not why I’m borrowing Shannon.” Paul grins wickedly at the camera. “Gimme a few seconds, and I’ll show you the real reason why.”

He turns the camera away from him and starts to move through the crowd of people. Eventually he comes to a corner that is a bit more private, and zooms in on the people sitting at the table. It is Gene and Vinnie; Vinnie is in Gene’s lap and they’re in the middle of making out. The camera turns back around to a smirking Paul. “Yep, that’s why. Gene sometimes forgets personal space is a thing when he’s had enough to drink, and you didn’t hear it from me but apparently Vinnie gets a little loose when he’s had enough wine. And when you put ‘em together… you get this.” He turns the camera back to the couple, who are still making out. “Hey, lovebirds!”

At his shout, Gene’s eyes turn in his direction, then widen. He turns his head fully around. “Paul, what the hell are you doing?” he shouts. Meanwhile Vinnie looks up, sees the camera, and hides his face in Gene’s shoulder.

“Smile, you’ve been recorded for posterity!” Paul replies gaily.

Gene gently pushes Vinnie, who nods and gets off his lap. As soon as he is off, Gene bolts to his feet and starts to advance on Paul. “I’m gonna kill you, Paul!”

“But Gene, I’ve got Shannon! You wouldn’t hurt our lovely gal Shannon, would you?”

“Shannon? Never. You? You better fucking run.”

The camera shakes violently as Paul turns and runs, laughing.

Gene is sitting at the kitchen table, wearing a red button-up shirt and a black blazer. “Hi. I’m about to head out to go pick up Vinnie and take him out to dinner. We’ve officially been together for one year… which I know because I have the day marked in my calendar. So I decided to take him out to a nice place. He doesn’t even know what’s going to happen; all I told him was to dress nice.”

Gene runs his hand over his hair. “I’m also planning on doing something else today. I’ve thought about it for a long time now, I think ever since we made up after that argument we had… and I’m pretty sure of it now. I’m in love with Vinnie. And after we come back here from dinner, I’m going to tell him.

“Y’know what’s funny? When I first thought that I might be in love… I would’ve been less scared if Jason Vorhees burst through my window. Because I’ve never been in love before. I love Paul, but not like that—never in a thousand years like that. And for all my other past relationships, I thought in the moment it was love, but then when it was over I realized it was just a really strong attraction. But this… I’ve thought about it for months, and I know it’s actually love.

“I’m gonna tell him tonight. Despite worrying that he doesn’t love me back, I’m still gonna do it. I just wanted to get my thoughts out before I left. Which,” Gene glances up at the clock, “I should probably leave now.” He smiles hopefully and holds up crossed fingers. “Wish me luck!”

The camera is aimed at the bed, then shakes as it is lifted up and turned around to reveal Vinnie. He smiles. “Hi,” he says quietly. “I woke up first and decided to borrow Shannon for a second. I’ll be quick; I just wanted to say something. But first…”

He turns the camera around and aims it at Gene, who is lying in bed on his side, still asleep. “I could get used to waking up to this,” Vinnie’s voice is soft and affectionate. He turns the camera back around. “I’m sure Genie’s already said something about it, but last night marked us being boyfriends for a year. Gene took me out to a nice dinner, then we came back here. And then…” Vinnie turns from the camera to look down at Gene, then smiles and turns back. “Gene said he loved me.” He laughs. “I still can’t believe it. He’s really in love with me.

“I didn’t say it then, because… well, I wasn’t sure enough of myself to feel confident enough to say it. But I am now. I love him too. And I’m going to tell him right now.”

And with that, he turns off the camera.

When the camera turns on, Gene’s shirt is the only thing in frame. He adjusts something, then moves backward to sit next to Vinnie. They are surrounded by stacks of boxes. Gene smiles and waves, while Vinnie follows suit. “If you’re watching this, this is the first video being recorded in our new apartment.”

Vinnie grins happily. “We moved in together!”

“We’ve been together for two years now, almost three, and we decided we were tired of not seeing more of each other.” Gene grins at the camera. “So, now we’ll be seeing each other all the time.” He turns to Vinnie. “Seriously though, I should probably take the time to apologize in advance.”

“For what?”

“Y’know… anything I do that bothers you or makes you uncomfortable. Paul told me one time that I snore.”

“Well, I’ve slept right next to you hundreds of times, and you’ve never snored.”

“You’re kind of a deep sleeper, though,”

“I guess that’s fair,”

“But anyway… sorry in advance.”

Vinnie smiles and shakes his head at him. “Okay. I forgive you in advance. I guess I should say sorry in advance for anything I do that bothers you.”

Gene smiles back. “I forgive you in advance.” He kisses Vinnie. The kiss slowly becomes deeper, until Vinnie falls back onto the floor with Gene on top of him.

“Mmph… Gene, the camera.”

“Right.” Gene gets up and moves to turn it off.

The camera turns on, and we see the interior of Cellar 82. The camera is pointed at Gene and Vinnie, who are sitting at a table.

“I’m sorry, I know I probably shouldn’t talk,” Paul’s quiet voice comes from behind the camera, “but I’m too excited! Today marks Gene and Vinnie being together for four years, and tonight’s the night Gene decided to do something very special.”

After a few moments, Paul gasps and zooms in on Gene’s hand as it reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a small black box. Gene seems to grip it tightly for a second. The camera zooms out to have both men in frame as Gene speaks. The words are inaudible on the recording. Then Gene opens the box, places it on the table, and pushes it towards Vinnie.

Vinnie’s mouth drops open and he covers his mouth. Then he slowly nods his head. He lowers his hands to reveal a blooming smile, and his reply of “Yes!” can be faintly heard. Gene stands and goes around to Vinnie’s chair, picks up the box to take out the ring, and slides it onto Vinnie’s finger. Vinnie jumps up and they kiss passionately.

The camera opens on a wall of a bedroom, then is turned around to be on Gene. He grins at the camera and speaks in a quiet voice. “If you’re watching this, you’ve found the one video of my honeymoon I’m doing. The next two weeks are going to be completely radio silence. And to be honest? I’ve never been more excited.”

The camera is turned around to the bed, and zooms in on a sleeping Vinnie. “There he is—the one I’m gonna spend my life with, and the one who somehow wants to spend his life with me.” The camera zooms out and turns back to Gene. “Is it normal when you’re married to still wonder how the hell your partner puts up with you?” He shrugs. “Guess I’ll find out.” The camera turns back to Vinnie and zooms in on him. “Look at him; beautiful. He was the first one to fall asleep after last night.” His voice turns proud. “Not to brag, but I kind of outdid myself last night. I’m kind of surprised no one heard him.”

As he speaks, Vinnie shifts in bed and slowly opens his eyes. He lifts a hand and rubs them, then turns to blink blearily at the camera. “Mm, Gene… what are you doing?”

“Showing the world my beautiful husband,”

“I thought you said you weren’t going to bring Shannon along,”

“Don’t worry, this is the only video I’m taking,”

“Mmm… okay.” Vinnie rubs his eyes and props himself up.

The camera zooms in closer. “Vinniiiiiie…”

Vinnie looks at the camera, smiling amusedly. “Yes, Gene?”

“Got anything you wanna say to Shannon?”

“Shannon, you’re a lovely woman, but Gene’s legally mine now. If you could stop trying to steal him from me, that would be great.”

“Very funny. I meant something like saying hi. For posterity.”

“Okay, okay,” Vinnie smiles at the camera and waves. “Hello, it’s me, Vinnie. As of two days ago, I got married to the beautiful man behind the camera…” Vinnie laughs. “Who is now blushing.”

“Shut up,”

Vinnie laughs. “Well, assuming Gene keeps his promise, this is the only video being taken during our honeymoon, so… enjoy it.”

“Well said,”

“Thank you,”

“How’s the bed?”

Vinnie shifts. “Mm… comfy. Really comfy.”

“It is pretty comfy,”

Vinnie grins at Gene beyond the camera. “It’d be perfect if a certain someone would put Shannon away and come back to bed.” He bats his eyelashes. “Please?”

Gene sounds like he’s grinning. “Well, since you asked so nicely…”

The screen goes black.

#ladies gentlemen and nonbinaries: behold the sappiest fucking thing I have ever written ever #and also one of the longest things I've written #not THE longest but still pretty long #bc as usual for me when I have a good idea I get carried away with it lol #also why paul and gene are co-owners of a wine bar I have no idea #that's just the idea I had #but yeah anyway #hope you enjoyed this lame thing #happy birthday Shandi!#kiss fanfiction #demonankh #kiss au writing #my writing #thanks for reading!#k now i'm gonna go eat something lol

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lost-incident-kid · 4 years

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Happy Birthday Miyu Sugisaki (for tommorow) might do some art for her idk

———

Edit: ah heck! Ive had this queued for months, but i forgot to actually do the art haha, i’ll get something done overnight so it might be rushed and look like trash, it might look reasonably ok. Who knows at this point. I dont trust the sleepy version of myself to create anything good but hey, theyv created some stuff that wasn’t horrifying before :/

Ok, starting here i legit just start live-blogging myself staying up alnight drawing. Ignore me. I didnt know where else to say it. I’ll delete it later.

Edit 2: this isnt gonna be done. Like frick, i just spent 6 hours on miyu’s fricking hairstyle, thats all done and even shaded and looking fabulous but ive only got a rough lineart for litterally everything else. This might not be done, but if it is then her hair is gonna be a fuckign masterpiece (i hope). Im writing this edit at 1:42am, and im gonna go to bed somewhere between 4 and 5, lets go! Hell yeah! I might do this! Perhaps! Im gonna try! 3-4 sprint time! Yeah!

Edit 3: frick, im failing to do this, miserably. Its 3:03am and i got distracted playing mobile games and didn’t get anything done. My existence is futile, existentially im a waste and I should not exist. The atoms within me deserve to be part of something better. Sorry. I’m a f*ck up and unless I get my sh*t together in the next like 5 mins (unlikely) then this aint gonna be finished.

Edit 4: ok, meltdown like 20% over. Its 3:52am, I think the issue then was the face. Faces r hard bruh, they suck do draw. They a festive lil ho ho ho. I was drawing everything too high up on the face cuz my dumb *ss forgot to draw the line thingys on the face or even look at a reference image for proportions. Ive done it now amd life is now a bit more on track. Might get this done if I continue work in the morning.

Edit 4.5: nothin much (hence the .5), its 4:14am, just downed 4 cups o tea for caffeine and sugar (all the coffee we got is decaf lol). I’m gonna get this sh*t done! Ive litterally only coloured down to the face, neck and the hair but still.... I’m gonna get it done anyway! I dont care about going to bed between 4-5 anymore! I’m getting this done!

Edit 5: its less than ten mins later (4:22am) and im taking a quick 20m break to watch youtube while I wait for the caffeine to kick in because im too braindead to continue right now. Like what art style am i even trying? Idk... its really fricking complex tho. Lowkey pretty tho, like if i finish this im gonna be so proud of it like it looks great. But its taking forever and im need break.

Edit 6: ok we back. Its 4:41am, caffeine has not really kicked in but i cant permit myself any more time anyway. Back to drawning.

Edit 7: holy frick, new episode of the vrains dub came out. Man... im leaving vrains fanart to watch the vrains dub. Am I obsessed? Is this hyperfixation? Probably? Either way, its 4:50am and im going to go watch the new episode. I’ll come back to this when im done.

Edit 8: HOLY FRICK GUYS! THE DRAWING APP IM USING KEEPS CRASHING AND SAYS ITS STILL THERE BUT WONT LET ME CONTINUE AND KICKING ME OFF THE APP?!?! ITS 5:06AM AND THE PANIC ATTAC IS BACC! The new episode of the dub isnt completely out yet, im watching that version on yt where its just smol clips of it. Not all the clips r up yet. I was just going on it while waiting for the next clips to go up and thats when the app did the thing and life got 280% sucky-er.

Edit: 8.5 wahoot it stopped kicking me off the app and it let me continue. Its 5:12am and we are FINALLY continuing.

Edit 9: its 5:36 Im tired sleep time I’ll finis thos in the morning goodbye yall have a greatt day

Edit 10: ok, so im a failure. We live in the timeline that god abandoned. I cannot sleep. I shall get more cups of tea, watch yt until the caffeine actually kicks in, and then continue. Its 6:03 right now, I shall be back. Perhaps half an hour?

Edit 10.5: its 6:11am. Not much has happened, just a slight change of plans. Ik its irrelevant but im liveblogging so i gotta say, my eye hurts so im gonna stop looking at screens. Perhaps gonna try to sleep again, if not then i’ll put read a book, redo my makeup (it smudgey) or straight up just listen to music and stare into the void. Litterally anything other than look at my laptop/phone. Peace out homies, i’ll be back at some point before 7 probably (unless i do go to sleep).

Edit 11: Its 6:41am, my eye hurts. Ive been staring into the darkness and listening to various fallout boy songs. Now i feel edgy. Its been half an hour, so im gonna continue drawing. Caffeine and sugar has worn off again so im tired and unmotivated but yno what, it is what it is. Aint life nifty, i gotta get this done.

Edit 12: 6:52 everything burns im in pain my eye is on frickign fire and it looks bloodshot but now also weird azz headache that i never got one like this before so im gonna turn off all lights cuz that seems to make it marginally better am i dying probably idk either way im not gonna continue for multiple hours it is stare into the void time and stare into the void time alone ok this should be the last update

Edit 13: It is 3:16pm, didn’t continue liveblogging cuz i got one heck of a migrane. Im back and well... Happy birthday Miyu for today! I’m still gonna try to get this god forsaken art done, but holy shit what is that art style i did. Its genuinely nothing like anything ive done before, I don’t remember doing any of the colouring but apparently I did and it looks better than anything ive done before and idk if non-fricked up me can replicate it. I’m starting to wonder if i got bored and just copied it or something, like idk how i did it. Look at it

The grey is the lineart I remember doing but man tHE FRICKIGN HAIR like i couldnt have created that, could I? I can see why it was taking so long yesterday like holy shit man that stuff takes time yno

#long post

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inkofamethyst · 4 years

Text

March 11, 2020

It’s not been a necessarily glamorous day (woke up late, took a nap that was waaayyyy longer than intended, stayed up really late into the wee hours of the morning doing two post-lab sets and one prelab), but I will classify day 71 as a successfully cute day because I did feel cute despite most of that.

You know, I think I was mostly in a good mood because a) BBC America has started showing Star Trek Next Gen episodes again and b) I’m getting to experience two weeks of online classes. You heard me right ladies and gentlemen. Found out yesterday that coronavirus has scared my university enough to cancel classes completely for a week following spring break then hold online-only classes for the following two weeks (at least). So I officially get a week less of school (...might affect my ability to learn all of the concepts correctly but whatevs am I right ladies?) which I’ll probably use to both catch up on schoolwork, get ahead on schoolwork as much as I can, and work on personal projects (sewing/finishing(!) my swing dress (I need to add buttons and a hem and the waist part, I think, along with some handsewing to make everything lay real nice) and writing my audiodrama script draft and probably recording some acapellas). This should be fun?

I do have a calc 3 midterm on Friday though and that’s pretty sucky because I’d really rather not take it (mostly out of laziness tbh), and I’m hoping that the school confirms a case or two or ten soon so that they can cancel Friday classes. And, uh, also to protect the immunocompromised/suppressed individuals and elderly professors. Or to protect those of us going home over break to see our loved ones! Like, this is a viral spread (...I’m beginning to understand the origins of the term “viral” when it comes to online videos and such...) that’s not slowing down. The more possible exposure we have, the more likely it is that we’ll spread it. And like, I’d rather not put my family and friends or their family and friends in danger.

Never thought I’d live through a pandemic, but I have been wondering when society would implode upon itself, so.

That’s mostly it. I’ve got some homework and studying to get done (which hopefully won’t matter because they’ll cancel classes on Friday), so I’ll catch y’all later. Oh and also, I’m still feeling residual sickness (no coughing or breathing issues, just a runny nose and a little fatigue) from last week, and I’m wondering if I need to take more medicine. I’m a huge proponent of “let your body fight it off” but after learning in anatomy that the process can take 10-17 days, I’m kind of over it right now.

Today I’m thankful for this new experience. I don’t know many people who can say that they’ve had school cancelled due to a pandemic, so I’d say this is pretty unique. I just wish the test kits weren’t being rationed, you know? I’d really like to find out if I’m positive for the virus because the literal only place I could’ve caught it at this point was this campus. I’ve been on campus for weeks now, so, yeah.

This world be wack.

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solitaire-dreams · 5 years

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Pokespe Gold, Silver and Bronze? An Arc Progression Analysis

Hey readers! I'm back and ready to attack a long post that had a long time coming. It is time for the part 2 of my prediction for the Gen 8 Pokespe dexholders/dexholder analysis. I would recommend reading my previous “What Type are you?” but there is a recap below for need-to-know info. Skip to the asterisks if you've already read (thanks).

Grass type dexholder = character who has self-intrinsic motivation despite life pushing them down and the path to their goal doesn't hurt many people.

Fire type dexholder = character who tramples over anything or anyone in the way of their goal.

Water type dexholder = character who hides important information from other characters and is secretive.

Gen 8 Male Character Counterpart = water type

Gen 8 Female Character Counterpart = fire type

Relationship (platonic) between the two = more emotionally charged and dramatic than other pairs.

***Today in our analysis, part 2 looks at exploring the progression of Pokespe against the evolution of...comic books of all things...and how the sets of holders mirror the ages of comic books.

DISCLAIMER: I am personally not a fan of comic books, despite my love for the superhero shonen of BNHA, and all this information is extrapolated from online research. Also this post was inspired by a post on the dexholders opinions of the pokedex which I can't refind for the life of me because I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE THIS FREAKING SEARCH BAR CORRECTLY. Credits to them for inspiration. Somewhere out there.

SPOILERS BEWARE.

So, let's start at the beginning with the main arcs for our first three dexholder trios (RGB, GSC, and RS; with Yellow and Emerald to a lesser extent). These arcs represent the Golden Age equivalent in Pokespe.

The Golden Age (from the late 1930's to the middle of the 1950's) is described as the introduction of archetypes for the genre, and heroes and villains were depicted as very white and black in order to provide moral for a society in wartime.

While the original arcs of the manga were marketed towards 10 year olds in the 1990s-2000s instead of 10 year olds in the time of WW2, there is many of the same patterns in how they present the stories.

The RGB arc is the most shonen-esque out of all of them, where Red simply plays the role of the standard protagonist you've seen countless times and an episodic formula for chapters. The rival of Blue also feels standard by this definition and the conflict with Team Rocket is pretty black and white. Giovanni is a mafia boss who kidnapped an entire town, genetically engineered multiple Pokemon through harsh experiments, was willing to murder kids; and all for “The Glory of Team Rocket.”

GSC gives you the exact kind of story you expect with a shonen target market and a hot-headed + headstrong main protagonist (a f*ckboy). The main villain of the Masked Man who kidnapped children also keeps him firmly on the evil side and our protagonists who oppose him firmly on the good one.

Then while RS may have been unexpected for most readers, considering a secretive male protagonist clashing with a headstrong female protagonist, a stronger character focus and development was to be expected. Plus, despite Ruby initially ignoring the fight against the region and Norman (who I still maintain is a sh*tty parent and should not have been forgiven for his treatment of Ruby that easily) both are still painted on the side of good. Ruby does the closest in giving a complex protagonist, but by the time he locks Sapphire in the aircar and teams up with Courtney, the reader can understand he's still on the side of good.

Mainly, the reason they never seem too morally grey in the first arc is that the in universe characters do not address their flaws as in depth as they should. Plus, the villains of Maxie and Archie are both shown be extremely corrupt and willing to endanger their own for the end means; providing a level of villainy to overshadow the grey tones of Norman and Ruby.

The arcs are all often grouped together when talking about Pokespe as well because the first three regions of dexholders are the only ones that have actually interacted with one another. And the post which I CAN'T find classified their stance on the Pokedex as they take their roles as protectors of the region seriously and accept the responsibility.

This translates well into the Golden Age characterization as this view of all the dexholders makes them appear more noble than most; magnifying the heroic traits of dexholders and heightening the contrast with the villainous teams.

Next up in the timeline was the Silver Age. The notable features of the Silver Age (mid 1950's to 1970) are hard to peg down, but they conclude important aspects are: targeting a wider audience including girls and adults, science fiction overcoming gods and magic in use in stories, and the pop art style started in this time period.

The Silver Age honestly doesn't have much to apply to Pokespe, but the Silver Age is a transitional era for comic books, as its boxed in by the much more influential ages of the Golden and Bronze ages. For Pokespe, its version of the Silver Age does seem to adjust its target audience to a wider audience of kid Pokemon fans (as there isn't too much “mature” content in Sinnoh or Unova arcs). However, its new hook lies in “the power of friendship”; also noted in that elusive post.

The DPP arcs centres around a trio that all become very close friends, with the Pokedexs canonically serving a role to demonstrate the bond all three of the characters have developed. Plus, Dia is a protagonist who completes believes in friendship for all as he listens to Cyrus is the Platinium arc, possibly giving him the chance to amend his wrongs.

BW may not have a trio of great dexholder friends, but the connection that develops between Black and White have a strong focus, and Black's friends of Cheren and Bianca also have a strong present in the story and exhibit the friendship that exist all between them. Meanwhile, the power of friendship cannot really apply to Team Plasma, but they definitely manifest the transition from “evil for the sake evil” to “complex motives that may not make them evil”. Despite N being the near definition of “morally grey” in Pokemon, the manga keeps him in a dark enough light that the reader can't fully think of him outside of evil—unlike the game.

Following up the Unova adventures in B2W2, this arc does a better job of emphasizing friendship. While Lack-two/Blake claims to lack any emotions, I'm not sure if it would hold up to a power of friendship punch in his emotionless face. Whi-two/Whitley also learns a lot about becoming friends as she gets closer and opens up to Blake—despite it being a ploy for information—still pushes the friendship theme. The evil is team is dealt with better as well, because Whitley has sympathy for N and the old values of Team Plasma, being a former member herself; and we see one of the older members aid Hugh in his search for Purloin. By having the new terrorist branch of Team Plasma cover the evil, it allows the members who follow the previous values to be painted in a redeemable light.

Finally, we arrive at the two most recent arcs of XY and SM/USUM. Or the Bronze Age equivalent of Pokespe.

The Bronze Age (1970-1985) of comics is the one people who are fans may know fairly well. Darker plots returned in full forces, tackling more serious topics such as poverty, pollution, and dangerous substances. Heroes were also more flawed and complex than they had ever been; and villains were dipped deeper into grey.

And if you've read the XY arc, these traits are probably ringing some alarm bells. The arc was extremely dark, expanding on the games in a way they never managed to achieve. The main theme of the arc is the apathy of society and how its flawed, self-serving natures screws over anyone unfortunate enough to be caught in its wake. This stance that Team Flare took against society had radical actions (tons of it), but the sucky behaviors demonstrated by Kalos citizens in the manga prove society is far from perfect. The story of Emma/Essentia is also compelling as you understand she is on the wrong side, but with some right reasons.

X is additionally one of the most flawed male player character protags by far; the best way to describe him being all the negative mental problems shoved into one 12-year old boy (which I mean in the most loving way possible). Y also has her repressed problems, and a standoff-ish/headstrong nature that puts her at odds with others; most notably with the huge fight with her mom.

Then, in the SM arc, despite the more lighthearted vibes that come from Alola; that does not undermine the Bronze age themes present throughout the arc. The manga does not shy away from manifesting the trauma Gladion and Lille have sustained from Lusamine going insane, Guzma smashes his head into a wall after losing a fight, and Lusamine's fusion with Nihelego horrifies our protagonists; as it probably should if you saw that for the first time. The manga seems to be going in the direction that Lusamine has lost all her marbles and can't be fully held responsible for her crazy actions. Plus, Sun's flaw of hyper-focusing on gaining all the yen he needs to buy back the island/hatred for the Aether Foundation; and Moon's flaw of a hero complex that causes her to help one problem, but abandon it for a new one when it comes up (on top of her cold attitude to people initially).

Their Pokedex stance was summed up in the post by: “WTF is this thing? I don't want it.” which fits pretty well with their overall stance on the region crisis. None of these four protagonists ever truly consented to saving the region. In Kalos, the reasons the protagonists fight back is that their town is destroyed and they are being assaulted by the evil team. And as for Alola, both Sun and Moon get sucked in slowly with smaller events until it's like: “Hey, you've bonded with the incarnations of the Sun and Moon. Guess you’re the last line of defence for Alola now!”

Thus, if the Ages have each of the three rotations sets in it, Gen 8 in the Galar region will also stick with the Bronze Age vibes. Though, that's to be elaborated on in a later post (so sorry).

Tl;dr The progression of arcs in Pokespe follow the same progression of comic books throughout the different ages. RGB-RS (also Emerald) are in the Golden Age, with standard archetypes and black and white divides between heroes and villains. The Silver Age doesn't tie in much to DDP-B2W2, but they are both transitional periods for villain characterization (evil, but with a chance for redemption) and have a new hook; this time in the form of friendship boosts. Last lies the Bronze Age for XY and SM arcs, known for darker plots, and complex and morally grey villains paired with complex and flawed protagonists.

#pokemon #pokespe #original #analysis

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sourpatchwatermelon · 5 years

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multiples of 3!

3 - Favorite musical artist/group you started listening to this year? Mitski!!! Don’t know how I hadn’t listened to her before

6 - Episode of tv that defined the year for you? Wtf this question is so vague...I guess the finale of season 2 of The Good Place bc that is some amazing television right there

9 - Best month for you this year? UHHHHH idk this is sad but I think January??? I was chillin on winter break for like half of it and then that’s when I got into Chordials and started Vagina Monologues and met/started talking to my bf so all in all January was pretty dope

12 - Talk about a new friend you made this year. Oh my gosh I honestly don’t know if this counts but I met my boyfriend this year and he is definitely one of my best friends too. He’s just so smart and cute and silly and we always have a great time together. I can’t believe we’ve been dating since February it’s legitimately a bit surreal because it’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had (although technically speaking we didn’t become official until late September bc he had them Commitment Issues but it’s all okay now!) He just left today bc he’s done with finals and I’m not gonna see him until after New Year’s...I already miss him I hate myself

15 - What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? Honestly it’s not a new bad habit but my executive dysfunction has gotten SO much worse this year...case in point I’ve been on question 3 of my practice test for three hours now and my exam is literally in a little over twelve hours and I cannot physically make myself do these practice problems...it’s 2:38 AM...help

18 - A memorable meal this year? Pretty much every meal I had when I was in Europe with choir...so much gelato...so much delicious pasta...a memorable moment when a seagull swooped down to try to eat my calzone in Venice

21 - What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? Well since the new school year started I’ve been living in a suite rather than a dorm! It’s nice bc we get our own bathroom for the four of us (two per bedroom so sometimes I don’t see my other suitemates for days lol) and a really nice common room too, but the location of my room is kinda sucky because it’s literally right next to one of the busiest paths on campus and the bedroom window has been broken this whole time so it’s very drafty. Even though I put in a work order, they still refuse to fix it bc apparently they would need to replace the entire window lol rip me

24 - Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? Absolutely not because I am the worst. I resolved to exercise at least twice a week and I legitimately only made it to the first week of February before I couldn’t do it anymore. I honestly just don’t have the time to exercise and I hate it bc I wanna be fit bc I know I’m not healthy I just am always either at a rehearsal for a cappella or choir or theater or I’m doing homework or I’m sleeping/chilling with my friends/bf because I need to relax! Balanced lifestyles are hard.

(rhi I love you I’m sorry I went so overboard with this can you tell I’m procrastinating?)

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ikilledgods · 2 years

Text

I posted 628 times in 2021

17 posts created (3%)

611 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 35.9 posts.

I added 14 tags in 2021

#loki - 2 posts

#loki spoilers - 2 posts

#loki (marvel) - 2 posts

#loki show - 2 posts

#leonardo decaprio made that one painting of the guy who was screaming right? - 1 posts

#poly - 1 posts

#lol i loved the cursed images - 1 posts

#i guess that says something about me - 1 posts

#this is off topic - 1 posts

#sorry - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 76 characters

#leonardo decaprio made that one painting of the guy who was screaming right?

My Top Posts in 2021

There’s a reason I didn’t go on Tumblr today.

I am following way too many Marvel blogs to know that I will avoid spoilers for Loki. I’m in the middle of watching the first episode now.

2 notes • Posted 2021-06-10 03:32:37 GMT

The reasons I have found why people join tumblr.

(Sorry the grammar was all over the place in that first sentence.)

1- For a Fandom

2- For the LOLZ (memes)

3- Queer / Trans

4-Nerodivergent or Mental Illness

5- For a safe space to talk and share.

6- Feel free to add more.

Please help keep tumblr a safe space for people who have joined to make friends, to talk to people, to rant, share anecdotes, and to help other people. Please don’t bully, spam, troll, etc. It just makes the experience not fun for everyone. Also, there are some pretty sucky people on this hellsite, please if you see someone being terrible, please report them.

3 notes • Posted 2021-06-11 03:34:29 GMT

Hey let’s play a game of Don’t Talk to [My Name]! I’ve already deleted discord, and will delete Snapchat if you try to contact me. I’m tired and will come back if/when I’m ready.

Feel free to interact. This post is at my friends, all of whom don’t use tumblr, and most of whom make him of me for using it.

6 notes • Posted 2021-10-01 01:36:29 GMT

Add tags of what you identify as, gender, sexuality, etc.

13 notes • Posted 2021-05-22 18:01:24 GMT

Okay, I have a ‘Humans are Space Orcs’ idea. I was thinking, if the song “YMCA” played I imagine all of the human crew members stop doing whatever they’re doing, during the chorus, just to do the YMCA dance.

Human 1: *Plays YMCA on the speakers*.

*Recognition grows on everyone's faces.*

*The chorus hits*

All humans in unison: Y M C A *while doing the dance*

Alien: What was that?

Human 1: None of us really know, but when the song plays, we do the dance.

*While Human 1 is explaining it the chorus plays again, and they just stop, and do the dance*

Alien: Wha-?

I guess with gen z you could say a similar thing with the song “Hand Clap”.

320 notes • Posted 2021-04-14 03:14:18 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #neat

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condensed-theorem-shop · 7 years

Text

today i went to the campus mental health center

(if you have missed my litany of complaints so far: i am depressed and trying to get help and it turns out this is much more impossible than the posters lead you to believe, i called a therapist and he wasn’t in and i left a message and several days later he called me back late in the evening so i missed it and the next day i called him back and he was out and his receptionist said i could leave a message and he’d call me back in half an hour but he never did so then i tried a different clinic and they told me i needed to call their psychiatric department which was closed for the weekend already so on monday i tried that and they said they would call me back within three days for processing and they never did that so finally i gave up and decided to just show up at the campus mental health center)

and they made me fill out some paper forms and then fill out some electronic forms and then they made me an appointment for december 4th, which if you’re counting is a month from now, and i have already been trying to get help for like a month and honestly ‘there are better options’ sounds much less snappy as a thing to say to suicidal people when the better options expect you to spend two months doing things like making phone calls that are nigh-impossible in the first place

(and they also said they’d put me in touch with their guy who helps students find long-term therapy options, but he was out right now, but they would send an email and get him in touch with me and he would help put me in touch with some other therapist, which is great and totally unlike the last five times someone has been all ‘we’ll just refer you to this person who is out right now and will refer you to someone else who will fail to call you back’)

and then they had me talk with a “post-clinical doctoral student” (or something but I’m pretty sure it translated to “no idea what she’s doing”) for the mandatory “are you going to kill yourself” interview

and that, like, sucked. a lot.

for one thing she was like the bad stereotype of a therapist. the conversation kept going like this:

me: “i am just so frustrated with this whole process, i am trying to do the responsible thing and get help but people keep being out and referring me to people who are out and saying they’ll call me back and not doing that”

her: “it sounds like you’re frustrated”

me: “yes. that’s because i’m frustrated”

her: “and that’s a reasonable thing to feel”

me: “yes i just explained all the reasons to you”

(yes i did actually say those things to her, i was getting pretty short on patience by the end)

but she really did just keep responding to everything by saying “it sounds like you feel very frustrated right now” which was like -- yes?? i just told you that. and i am frustrated because you are not helping me and the way to respond to this is not to observe that i am frustrated it is to help me

and then the second way in which it sucked was that she really really wanted to commit me

like, really. and i am pretty upfront with therapists at this point, okay, as soon as they get started on the “do you have a plan” questions i say “look i want to give you useful information but i also worry that if i accidentally phrase something the wrong way it could be misinterpreted and you could end up thinking i am a danger to myself, which i absolutely am not, and committing me, which i absolutely do not want to have happen and would find actively harmful”

and most decent therapists deal okay with this? and i can usually do okay with framing my answers correctly, like, they say “do you think about killing yourself” and i say “not in the sense of considering it as an option, never, but for the last eight years it’s been the case that when i’m having a depressive episode i sometimes have thoughts about it, which i would never act on and have never acted on, because i wouldn’t do that to my family and because i have things i want to do in life, and i have techniques for coping with and managing those thoughts”

and usually this goes over okay! like, most therapists have ever encountered the concept of having thoughts one does not intend to act on. but this one was not buying it. she said “do you have a plan,” which is normal, and i said my normal thing which is “absolutely not in the sense of planning on doing it, but i mean, at some point in the past eight years i have thought about specific methods, yes”

and again this normally goes over fine but i think she was going down her Therapy 301 checklist or something because i could practically see her doing the hawk-circling thing and she was like “and what methods have you thought about”

and this i do not normally get, and it was like a flashing DANGER DANGER sign because i am not an idiot okay i know the checklists for “imminent suicide risk” and she was assessing whether it was a method that would work that i had access to and if the answer was yes this was bad

(and of course the answer is yes i always have a plan that would work that i have access to just like i have a plan for what i would do if the house caught on fire, okay, i feel safer if i have plans for in case i need them, that doesn’t mean i’m planning on setting my house on fire)

so i was like “hmm can you explain to me why it’s helpful to you to know that” and she gave this super hedge-y answer that amounted to “yep i’m assessing whether to commit you”

(which i do not think much of, btw, the hedging that is, good therapists will be straightforward with you when you ask)

and i was like “yeah so it seems to me like that information isn’t helpful to you in any actual therapeutic way, and given that i know commitment would be actively harmful to me, i am not convinced the incentives here are for me to answer that question”

and she was like “well that makes me more worried” which, uh, fuck you, i am being honest with you, i could have just lied, i will just lie if it becomes necessary, i don’t like lying to my doctor but when they refuse to let me not answer a question and threaten me with involuntary commitment if i don’t then i will have zero qualms about lying up and down through my teeth

so at this point i had pretty much given up on getting any actual benefit out of the conversation and was just going for “leave without getting myself committed” so i just gave her a bunch of entries for her Therapy 301 checklist, like, it has been eight years and i have never attempted suicide and i have never harmed myself badly enough to leave a scar and that not in three years and i have a supportive family and &c &c

and surprise surprise that got her to drop it. like ffs i have been doing this for eight years that is almost certainly longer than she has i am not an idiot i know how this works

but she still totally wanted to commit me, which, again, fuck that, but she kept trying to talk me into it despite the fact that i had been very clear and firm and even explained reasons that it would be actively counterproductive

at one point she started on the “you know, mental hospitals don’t actually look like...” spiel and i lost my temper and interrupted her and said “i know, i know, it has been eight years, i have heard this before, i have done my research, i told you this is not an irrational fear this is a reasoned preference i know the difference, i have seen actual photos of psychiatric wards i know they do not look like the hollywood thing, i have read actual accounts by doctors who work there and by patients who’ve been confined there and i have come to the considered conclusion that this would be extremely harmful to me i am not an idiot okay”

and she was like “okay but have you considered: involuntary commitment! awesome!” (okay that one was not a direct quote but she kept trying to push it ffs)

and at that point i was just. done. so i said “hard no” and kept saying it until she let me leave

so that sucked!

and beyond those two main aspects of suckiness, the it-sounds-like-you-feel and the super-wanting-to-commit-me, it sucked in a whole bunch of other little bonus ways

like when i was this far from strangling the stupid doctoral student and spent a good two minutes getting myself under control and then she got all chirpy and went “those were some GOOD DEEP BREATHS” and was lucky not to be punched on the spot because seriously

or how she kept avoiding the word “suicide”, like, she would say “how do you think about harming yourself” and i would be about to answer and then think about context and be like “....wait do you actually mean self-harm or do you mean killing myself” and she would be like “.......uh, i mean .... [tiny voice] suicide” like idk if she thought saying the word would give me the idea?? or if she just couldn’t bear to utter it??? but seriously grow UP woman i LIVE with this you can handle SAYING it

or how she gave me their card with their stupid crisis line on it and was like “if you start having those thoughts again call this number!! it’ll give you the police and they’ll put you through to us and we are HAPPY TO HELP!!!” and i was like “yes because suicidal students calling the police has worked out so well for them at this university historically”

(earlier this semester a suicidal student called the university police who proceeded to shoot and kill them)

and she was like “.....uh well there was that one incident. but we help LOTS AND LOTS of students! every night, lots of calls!”

(i narrowly refrained from saying “but you fuck one goat...”, admire my self-restraint)

anyhow eventually i left having been given no actually helpful help whatsoever. and hid in the bathroom and cried. and i would just like to say that i feel that if students are hiding in the bathroom outside your counseling center crying then this is probably a sign that there is something seriously wrong with your systerm

so, like. fuck them. fuck everything. fuck the fact that i do in fact have reasons to keep living, this would be so much easier if i didn’t. fuck all this. i guess i get to continue doing this on my own. i am depressive and barely functional but i am still better at this than she is.

on the upside i complained to my dad about the involuntary commitment part and he was like “if it helps the first thing we’d do if they tried to pull that would be get a lawyer and get on the first flight there”

which, uh, does in fact help a lot, i had not previously been at all sure they would side with me on that one. so that was nice to hear.

fuck the mental health care system.

#depression cw #mental illness #therapy cw #involuntary confinement cw #suicide cw #self harm cw

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dank-rituals · 6 years

Note

Answer all the "solid answers" ask that you just reblogged. ALL.

1) Sexuality?I’m like a 1.75 on the Kinsey Scale

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Dan Harmon probably, idk

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.“��is nice and pleasure is good for you, you will probably hear a lot of…”

4) What do you think about most?Dungeons & Dragons & Depression

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?“Ummm wanna try a Friday night during shows?”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?Boxers or PJ pants

7) What’s your strangest talent?If I think about a specific episode of a TV show, that’s the rerun that will be on that night

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)Girls! It’s girls that make the love go ‘round!🎵; Boys, let’s keelhaul this traitor!

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?A song once

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?Earlier today I believe

11) Do you have any strange phobias?Terrified of cephalopods, and when potatoes grow in your cupboard

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?Not very far?

13) What’s your religion?Discordian Sith

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Walking to work 🤕

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Neither? On stage

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?Breaking Benjamin, they write songs that sound like my depression

17) What was the last lie you told?Told customers that suck that they should have a good night. They should not, they should have a sucky night cuz they suck.

18) Do you believe in karma?No, I’d like to but come on

19) What does your URL mean?It’s the word vampyre with my initials (came up with it in middle school and never changed)

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?Depression/Sloth, idk strengths are hard to find

21) Who is your celebrity crush?Have lots but top of the list is Alexandra Daddario

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?Nope

23) How do you vent your anger?I yell a lot when I’m alone

24) Do you have a collection of anything?I collect Magic Cards, Heroclix, Books, Games, bunch of other crap

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?On the phone I guess, never liked video chatting

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?Gods no, fuck that guy

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?The vacuum cleaner at work; genuine laughter

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?She hadn’t hung herself

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?I like the idea of ghosts but who knows, and there’s gotta be life out there

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.My dresser, and a blanket

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?My pillow

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?Well I live in Warsaw lol Atlantic City was pretty gross

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?East Coast

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?Taylor Momsen

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?Passion, find explore and indulge in them and your life will be fulfilled

36) Define Art.Art is the craft of pursuing beauty

37) Do you believe in luck?I play too many dice games not to

38) What’s the weather like right now?-2°F, feels like -17°F with windchill

39) What time is it?1:42 AM

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Yes, no luckily

41) What was the last book you read?It’s been awhile, I was rereading animorphs I think

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?Yeah

43) Do you have any nicknames?No I have lots of names, Charlie and Mike predominantly

44) What was the last movie you saw?Star Wars I think?

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Injury? Um…a black eye I guess? Most of my shit came from cancer not injuries

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?I don’t think so?

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?A million different D&D things (Fervor Domain clerics you guys 😍), my beautiful friends have taken to sharing intimate photos on Tumblr, characters for a novel I started a few years ago, and like a million other things I’m obsessive.

48) What’s your sexual orientation?Is there a difference between this and question 1?

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?Yeah, we used to make shit up at Darien Lake because people gossips about us

50) Do you believe in magic?Music and Love are the most powerful magics there are

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Not really

52) What is your astrological sign?Capricorn

53) Do you save money or spend it?Spend it

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?Chicken Wings

55) Love or lust?Both? Both is good

56) In a relationship?Hahahaha no

57) How many relationships have you had?The official counter reads 6

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?Nope

59) Where were you yesterday?Hornell, I got to meet Bill Pullman

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?Sakura’s hair on my wall scroll thing, and some Heroclix

61) Are you wearing socks right now?Nope

62) What’s your favorite animal?Ravens and Weasels

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?So I try to be funny and charming and whatever and then like everyone who’s ever liked me ends up telling me it’s because I’m cute when I’m a dork so I guess that’s my secret cap

64) Where is your best friend?One of them is in Varysburg the other in Sanborn

65) Spit or swallow?(;Swallow

66) What is your heritage?I’m a quarter Awkasane Mohawk

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Just getting home

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?Morningstar in a lot of stories right? Lol

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?Nearly once a day since I was 13?

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?Yeah, I DM

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?Save the dog obviously

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?Tell everyone, tie up lose ends enjoy a few things, no fear

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.Love

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?All Star by Smash Mouth

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?2780

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Communication, mutual thirst

77) How can I win your heart?Play with my hair, talk nerdy to me, suck my soul out of…well you get the idea

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?I think it does

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Joining the Boy Scouts?

80) What size shoes do you wear?10.5/11

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?Ugh now I’m gonna obsess over this forever, idk

82) What is your favorite word?Eldritch

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.Break

84) What is a saying you say a lot?“Looked _____ dead in the eye” comes to mind

85) What’s the last song you listened to?Red Cold River by Breaking Benjamin

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?I like deep purples and the color of stormcloud under a pale moon

87) What is your current desktop picture?A werewolf leading a pack of wolves in a feeding frenzy

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?Donald Trump probably

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?I try not to fear the truth

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?Accept my new undead protectors

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Effortless telekinesis (or endless motivation and discipline, can that be a power?)

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?Cuddling with my mom

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Like make it so it never happened? My mom’s suicide duh

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?Taylor Momsen

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?Idk, I’m too broke to do anything so maybe take me to see the Carpathian mountains/Dracula’s castle?

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?Nope

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?When I was little I think

98) Ever been on a plane?Once

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?Survive the night, hope for the dawn, and never stop fighting. Also when we gonna get Dark Souls/Demon’s Souls remastered?? Come on!!

3 notes · View notes

steamishot · 4 years

Text

Habits

I’ve been making some lifestyle changes lately. Most, if not all my life, I’ve done things in a rush. I tend to value speed (maybe because I find the task more challenging and more fun if I race against time lol) when I complete tasks, and I realize I’ve been quite unaware that I do this. Little everyday things, like getting ready in the morning, taking a shower, peeing, washing my hair, combing my hair, applying lotion, blow drying my hair- I realize I rush through it and just hope I show up presentable. I wasn’t that aware until Matt pointed it out a few times, and I realize it when I’m on a trip with a few other girls and how quickly I’m able to get ready and how little effort I put in. I’ve been taking small but promising changes towards self-care. I’m slowing down during the shower and enjoying my time there more instead of viewing it as task that I just wanna get over with (kinda like how I view washing dishes or doing laundry). In a sense, I’m learning to embrace my feminine side and be okay with the time and effort I spend on myself. I only get one face and body in this lifetime after all.

I’m also translating this onto my hobbies/work out goals. In the past, I’ve focused on results, and wanted results quick. I would work extra hard in the beginning and then burn myself out and then stop altogether. I’ve been listening to a podcast called GeniusBrain. The hosts are Asian American youtube entertainers, and I think they provide a lot of good life advice and insight, while presenting it in a way that is authentic and funny. In one episode, as they talked about fitness, they mentioned that it is very common for people who are new to working out to want to see results quickly. And they described the same thing I went through multiple times. Their advice for someone who was completely sedentary and wanted to become more active was – JUST START WALKING EVERYDAY. Easy enough goal right? I only realized that more important to having big goals was the ability to be disciplined and form habits. My work out endeavors in the past didn’t really work for me, in hindsight, because the routine was too complex for me to absorb. I would follow youtube videos with weight training and cardio, but without the videos, I was at a loss. Maybe around Fall 2019, I started doing a mile run after work. I remember taking like 13 minutes to run a mile, but being so out of breath and lightheaded after I completed it.

In December, I made a goal to do 10k steps at least 5x/week. This is easy to accomplish during a workday, but I don’t track it as much during the weekend. I’ve consistently been taking my two breaks each work day to walk, and my body has significant improvements. Most days (excluding the days when I’m super exhausted from lack of sleep and/or traveling) I run 2+ miles on a treadmill at home. If I have a hours of free time over the weekend, I’ll do 5 miles. This is mindless, as I don’t have to think too much about following a youtube video, but instead I get to run while watching a show, which makes exercising much more bearable and fun. Now when I get home and don’t work out, my body feels weird and craves a workout. I’m happy to have formed a habit!!! I didn’t even run this much when I “trained” for a half marathon a few years ago. I eventually want to incorporate this ten minute muscle toning work out into my routine, but I’ll wait until my running habit has really developed. But my lesson is, doing less consistently is actually more in the long run.

This is the same with drawing. It helps when I am drawing things for other people, as it holds me accountable. At the same time, it is much more fulfilling to draw for a purpose – to bring joy to others. I know that I try harder when I’m drawing for other people than for myself. It’s only been a few weeks so far, but I’ve been drawing more consistently than I ever have since like high school. I think as an adult, hobbies can easily be seen as a waste of time if you’re not it for some monetary or health value, at least IMO. But I think illustration is a valuable skill in the design world, and it’s something I can add to my portfolio. In any case, I think doing something/building on any skill is better than not doing anything at all.

Notable events-

My bro and wife just bought a pretty expensive house in Gardena. They will probably move into it the end of the month. It is by far the nicest/biggest house in our family and they were able to do it with their parents’ help (mostly her parents). There was a joke that Trevor Noah did, about what college degree is the most useful- and the answer is rich/successful parents. I am happy for them. At the same time, I feel like there was no struggle on their part, but kinda leeching off parents. Her parents are still fairly young, so I don’t mind too much, but I get sad seeing that my parents are getting old, and they sacrifice so much just for their child to have a less stressful life. I am happy to know that my parents give what they can “for the next generation”, but they also have firm boundaries.

My grandma has 7 kids, and some send her money every month. Lately, my grandma has been giving me more money than before. She always wants to pay when we eat out, and gives me money every time I go on trips. I used to be uncomfortable accepting it, and always declined it. But now, I understand that it makes her happy that I accept her support. So now I just take it and say thank you. In my perspective, I think she thinks her time left is limited, so she’d rather “invest” in me because it’s more worthwhile.

Also, my SIL told my mom she’s pregnant.

I am leaving to NYC tomorrow! The more I go, the less ideas I have of what to do when planning out our itinerary, but I am just excited to be able to cuddle and give each other tight hugs and be there physically with each other. We had one of our worst fights over the weekend, and it spanned like 4 days, just because our free time doesn’t overlap enough to finish arguing lol. It is funny but it also is a really sucky feeling, because we both end up going to sleep upset and can’t talk about it until after work the next day. I am trying to make light of it now, but I felt pretty depressed going through it. Deep breathing helped.

I want to document this so I can remember in the future - what happened was during/after night shifts, he just never “bounced back”. I stayed getting not as much attention (which may be the normal amount of communication in some LDRs, but it was a drastic change for me, perhaps because he used to spoil me before). We barely texted, barely got to talk in depth, and he was learning to be more efficient with his time and have more self-care (sleeping early, unwinding more, drinking less coffee) that he came off cold and distant to me. I accepted it as the norm during night shift, but was expecting that he return to “normal” afterwards. Anyway, because I was already in an insecure state of mind due to the perceived difference in behavior, I took it really personally when I was trying to plan out moving in together and he couldn’t give me an estimated timeline. I started feeling like he had some reservations about me that was preventing us from moving forward. His explanation was that - he doesn’t know what program he will be going to (will find out if he gets in on Match day), and doesn’t want to plan ahead because he doesn’t want to get his hopes up. I didn’t understand this, because to me I was just talking hypothetically. However, I didn’t really consider how emotionally heavy Match day could be to him. He did work very hard for a decade to get where he is at, and his future is still not guaranteed. So, even though I feel like my life is “on hold”, I can be patient and wait another month to find out.

Got a pap smear done yesterday.

Work updates: there was a period of time when things were quite slow for me. I noted in a blog post about how guilty I was feeling, and how odd I felt around my supervisor. I tended to hide in my room and not interact with my supervisor. Thankfully, work is picking up as we are preparing for the incoming and terminating housestaff. I’ve been making a bigger effort to build relationships with people, and interact more with my supervisor.

Edit: these days feel pretty sucky to me. I think I’ve been extra lonely because my best hometown girlfriend has a boyfriend now, and we barely hang out anymore. Although in the grand scheme of things, I am very fortunate. I told my coworkers I was going to NYC this weekend, and one of them responded, “you’re so lucky!”. These days have been more challenging, with more questions of “is it worth it to put up with this relationship” as I’m feeling pretty neglected and unhappy. But I know it’s the combination of things - feeling stagnant with my life, not as challenged at work (although work is sometimes quite enjoyable), not having my close friend around a lot, etc.

Sometimes I look at how my bro and his wife just lounge and relax and go out on dates. And I think about how that different that is from my life with Matt. Everything between us is fast paced, we are always on the go, and tired. Today, I received notice that I got a speeding ticket in NOLA. I also received a fine from the car rental company. Driving there was stressful and tiring already. I was also a bit salty that I drove the entire trip, and no one offered to help out. This is my first ever speeding ticket and I’d hate to have to pay it fully. This news made me feel shittier. I tried to think of positive things, like that I randomly received a tax refund from 2016, and the check would cover my tickets almost exactly. And another positive thing was that I forgot my iPad on the plane and was able to get it back. Lastly, if these are the things I am sad about, then I have it pretty good.

Second edit: I realize I feel better when I talk to friends/acquaintances/work friends about things. It helps put my situation into perspective. I was feeling like a victim regarding my parking ticket, but $140 isn’t bad compared to the $300-500 speeding tickets in LA. My work mom just laughed at me saying, you? speeding ticket? HAHAHA congratulations. It reminds me that I do take my life too seriously sometimes. My friends on the trip are also “donating” to this cause, so it also takes the load off and I appreciate it a lot.

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