#ppl can ask if they wanna be autistic abt it together | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

masked-and-doomed · 7 months

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NEW ME NEW INTRO!!

Hello, I'm Kat/Kats (or Yomotsu), welcome!! I am so normal about my boyfriends.

Other places you can find me:

@katsdoodles - art blog/archive.

Discord: thatonekats

👆 just in case. Tumblr explodes. Talk to me if you wanna ig (I am not good at conversing. So. Keep that in mind.)

Ao3: ThatOneKat2

👆 Might as well have it here. I've been more in a writing mood this year.

Suspected BPD, have been diagnosed autistic. I will feel things very intensely either forever or feel nothing about it in the next hour max. You may see vent posts. Every now and then. Check the tagging system to block em out.

I am deeply in love and sickly affectionate for 4 men. They're my boyfriends, girlfriends, besties- our relationship? Is uhh whatever man. It's love. It's love. (Also not the best fathers but hey I take what I can get)

First two being Yomotsu Hirasaka (pfp), and Takao Hiyama. They are my most intense hyperfixation of 2 years.! They are from Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. An anime/manga which I don't really like.

The next beloved is Pocketcat! He is from Fear and Hunger. He's. A silly :) There's so much intrigue of him aaaghhh ough he is so sad.

Last one !! Faust. From Guilty Gear. He's a. He's somebody. Got him on Valentine's Day. He makes me a different kind of ill. Alas, this doctor cannot cure me.

They're 💙 just like me fr. I love them. URL is them btw. Masked men, doomed.

(comfortable with sharing and gushing together with everyone. I don't mind if you send or @ me in stuff that has Faust shipped with someone, (I like appreciating art of Faust in any form :] ) just know I'm uncomfy with all (canon x canon) Faust ships except Happy Chaos)

I do block on some criteria but I will not disclose it. So, you may get blocked by me for something, and you will never know. (Followers only)

(if we're mutuals and you block me, I'd like to know the reason why. Not a requirement.)

Yayaya tagging system time!

#ah rambling - general yapping tag

#[MN/funger] rambling - ramblings of MN or funger

#[MN/funger] bangers - memes/shitposts of that fandom

#oc time - posts about the little OCs I have

#unnamed girlie - posts about my self insert. (UG for short)

#guy in my head - headcanon posts

#doodle tag - stuff not high effort enough to put into my art blog goes here

#reblog moment - reblogs! So you can filter them out

#lovesick - yandere / obsessive behaviour

#gatito - kitty tag.

#belalang beloveds - grasshopper tag. Belalang is grasshopper in Malay :)

#art save - images I wanna draw (typically memes I wanna draw with my guys)

#art reference material - reblogs of posts with helpful art stuff

#general reference material - reblogs of posts with whatever that isn't art. Not really 'general' perse but I don't have another word

#epic meowtual art - art by the meowtuals!

#ask game - reblogs of ask game posts

#ask game answer - answers to asks abt the ask game

#hello asker - ask tag

#tag game - reblog of posts that are meant to have you tag other ppl to continue the chain

#negative. And #/negative are used for vent posts. Make those sometimes.

#hxrny aroace on main - (mind the x) epic posts where I feel feelings for some characters (carnally)

#fanfic shit idfk - posts related to fanfics I'm reading (or something like that)

#shit I send to fictional guy - posts I'd send to fictional characters. Will prob have their name tagged too.

#unnamed oc core - wow it's just like him fr. Many things will be tagged this btw. They are not okay. (Same person as UG jsyk)

#pocketkitty - for posts I don't want in the pocket.cat tag or reblogging posts that are like pocket.cat. (only applies to him everyone else gets tagged with their name in posts that are like them)

#robot nephew - similar to pocketkitty just that it's. Mr robo.t K.y

#silly doctor man - I fell into gui.lty g.ear and now I'm in love with this bozo. When I don't want it to be in the main tag. Yes like pocketkitty and robo bo.

#mister omelette - guy that asks which came first the chicken or the egg. Answers himself, it's omelette.

Liveblog tags:

Guilty gear: #pride in my gears: sign, #pride in my gears: rev, #pride in my gears: overture

Tag me in stuff you think I like!! I don't mind! Or like tag games.

There's also a *cough cough* side blog. For degenerate thoughts of mine. If you want it just give a DM ig.

That's all for now!! Have fun!!

#intro post

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theflytecharm · 1 year

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YEAH in this au marcias like that is my baby brother no I've never actually been able to physically touch him yes he is from medieval times. I don't see what this has to do with anything. She'd be so offended that any version of herself could ever be mean to him. They r besties who tell each other everything (or. Marcia tells Most things but she does see marcellus very much as a child bc he. Is. She's like 20 when he's maybe 10 so she doesn't tell him Everything but they're super close) and when he ends up in the future she introduces him to everyone as her little cousin from overseas who's parents r dead so he's staying with her. She does tell alther who he actually is tho bc alther figured out where she was disappearing to not long after the start of her apprenticeship and asked her abt it and she didn't want to lie to him,,, she didn't tell him Who she was talking to just that it was a friend and she wasn't at any risk of going through the glass.

And. Yeah <33 they r autistic. Together 😌😌 marcellus knows some basic magyk in this au and marcia knows some physik and a lot of the theory of alchemy. Also I should clarify marcellus stays in the future in this au. He never goes home ever he just lives in the future now,, things in the past play out mostly the same as in canon but marcellus's role is played by a different alchemist who isn't such close friends with julius so there's some suspicion that the alchemy disaster wasn't entirely the alchemists fault and that's why alchemy isn't Quite so hated in the future.

Marcellus being more argumentative!! I think in canon he would have stayed quiet just bc. He wouldn't have seen a way out. Like etheldredda is essentially unkillable and if he ever dares to act out what happened to his sisters could happen to him. But with marcias influence he kind of starts pushing boundaries and asking questions and sneaking around and stealing things because marcias optimism rubs off on him and he's sure that he'll be able to save his sister this time, definitely. If things get really bad he can run away with the money from stolen items. I have a lot of thoughts abt marcellus and etheldredda and maybe one day I'll even elaborate on them abdjdbdjbd

AND. YEAH marcia does get affected by marcellus also <3 ur right she is a lot more tolerant of ppl in general tbh like especially after marcellus is in the future. If she can handle a grieving 13 yr old she can handle anything. She's also a lot more polite?? Like marcellus was taught Court Rules since he was tiny and started teaching them to marcia just for fun and obviously most of them r incredibly outdated but the same principles apply so while she is still bitchy and rude she is bitchy and rude in such a way that no one can ever call her out on it. Most of the time. Sometimes she snaps <3 Maybe she comes across a little old fashioned sometimes but that only adds to the effect,, she has learned Social Skill and by god is she going to use it.

There's also the fact that she considers marcellus her brother + has decided to honour his older bio sister by doing her absolute best to take care of him. When he's in the past this is 100% just talking with him and trying to give advice and steer him away from trouble (she fails miserably on that) and when he's in the future she's a lot more involved,, unfortunately (for her) this means she has a Big Sister Mode that activates every time she sees someone younger than her having a bad time and she HATES it bc all the castle kids literally love her and r bugging her all the time. Anyway I do have more to say but maybe I'll make an actual post with a readmore instead of putting it in ur inbox abdjdnsjfn

I love this au, it's so cute to see marcellus being looked after for once lmao

I wanna see the grown up pair of them start working together on alchemy and magyk too, kinda like julius but without the whole blame and betrayal bit. Alchemy being suspicious but not outright banned is fun too, would it end up being treated kinda like witches are (though with the bonus of hopefully less kidnapping involved)? Or more accepted than that

Marcellus having marcias influence and a way out is v interesting, in the canon it does seem like his only way out is to outlast etheldredda so he puts so much effort into a tincture that actually works. But if he's out would he put so much time and effort into it? Or just let it be and get on with a normal length life this time?

I love Social Skill marcia, she's such a person to learn the rules to break the rules (or bend the rules to breaking point without actually breaking them, leaving room for plausible deniability). I can also see them researching Why different rules and etiquette exist just so they understand why people do what they do, even if it's old stuff that's not really relevant anymore

BIG SISTER MARCIA!!!!! she's such a softie <3

Does marcellus get a chance to grieve his sisters in the past? Not even as in a funeral or something, but did he just have to pretend it's all fine until he got out?

#marcia and marcellus having a tiny memorial for his sisters :(#love this they're such a Pair

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cassyapper · 3 years

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Apart from Jotaro and Kakyoin (unfortunately) what are your other favourite jojo ships? I’d love to know

OHHHH POST YOUVE OPENED A CAN OF FUCKING WORMS LET ME GO OFF

i have a disease that makes me invested in the joestars’ happiness to an absurd level so bc of that a lot of ships i enjoy involve,,,one joestar,,,but there r others i swear let me just start rantingi

jonaeriwagon is soooooo so so cute it involves the most wholesome and purehearted jojo characters and it makes me smile so wide. erina and jonathan r childhood sweethearts and erina helped jonathan back on his feet after he lost EVERYTHING in the first fight against dio at the mansion. jonathan and speedwagon are best FRIENDS OKAY!! SPEEDWAGON LITERALLY CHANGES HIS ENTIRE WALK OF LIFE BECAUSE OF JONATHAN AND THE KINDNESS HE SHOWED HIM. i know erina and speedwagon didn't interact a whole lot in part 1 but like they're BEST. FRIENDS. in part 2, so much so joseph thought something was going on between them. i bring this up bc then it’s proof that this ship is full of ppl who just care for each other so much. they just adore each other and love each other and I'm crying

caejoseq is my FAVVV OKAY they're so stupid and in love. i love love love love imagining caesar and suziq falling in love slowly when he’s first training as lisalisa’s student and like they never do anything about it cause they're both so shy (yes caesar is shy bc these feelings r more genuine romance rather than sexual, unlike his other flings) but it’s obvious enough they both understand to a degree the other knows they like them sjkd;dn cuties. but then JOSEPH BARGES IN with his stupid hamon-breathing mask and his stupid blue-green eyes and his stupid lax personality combined with the moments he takes thing seriously during which is works hard as fuck/smart as fuck. he just completely sweeps them off their feet they had no fuckin warning whatsoever. so after a bunch of messy and intense pining from the both of them they eventually sit down and are like okay. we should do smth about feelings actually. so they Do and it ends with the polycule and I'm (”: smiling so wide they loved each other do u understand

AVPOL!! DO NOT GET ME STARTED OKAY it’s the survivor’s guilt and cherishing and longing for me sis!!!!!! I'm just saying both have pasts (araki said avdol’s backstory was so sad he didn't wanna put it into sdc so that’s where I'm drawing this from) that leave them focused on things other than their direct happiness/their own futures but then they connect and even though they're so fucking different they are SOOO different they're still the same on this level and i think!!! that would be everything for them finally someone who understands...listen I'm ging to go insane do you hear me. avdol loves this stupid fucking Frenchman so much because said stupid fucking Frenchman just cares so much about everything. meanwhile polnareff is in love with this fuckin god of a man who’s patient and kind and funny and a skilled enough fighter it’s stated explicitly in canon “oh avdol’s the one we need to worry about most not jotaro” like fuck polnareff is ENAMOURED WITH HIM!! AND I DONT FUCKING BLAME HIM!! and just dude. when pol thinks avdol came back to life and he starts crying tears of joy and hugs him so tightly and avdol just laughs but hugs him back imfmfjfj help. help. help. help. help. POLNAREFF LITERALLY ASKS HIM OUT ON A DATE THIS IS FUCKIN!!! CANON!!! i cant do this stupid fuckign idiots i love them

JOSUYASU!!!!!! TWO GUYS BEIGN DUDES WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT??? like listen we have such a SLEW of wholesome moments between these two the opening to the tonio episode is literally just them going on a date OKUYASU WAS GONNA FEED JOSUKE AND JOSUKE DIDNT EVEN FUCKING QUESTION IT OKAY THAT’S KINDA GAY THAT HAS ROMANTIC FUCKING UNDERTONES!! and them fighting against shigechi idk man i just love their dynamic it’s such a pleasant bro relationship and i love them. but even beyond the wholesome moments when okuyasu fucking dies josuke loses his SHIT!!! DO YOU HEAR ME HE GOES FUCKIGN INSANE!!!!! HE’S SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BEGGING OKUYASU TO WAKE UP AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS LIFE FUCKIGN HAYATO HAD TO SHRIEK AT HIM TO MOVE HIS ASS OUT OF THE WAY OF KIRA’S BOMB LIKE!! listen the recklessness and furiousness of josuke’s tactics after okuyasu “”died”” haunts me. he didn't want to live in a world without him and meanwhile okuyaus LITERALLY TRIUMPHS OVER DEATH BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE JOSUKE’S SIDE HELP ME GIRL FJKF;NDJN FUCK. fuck. so yeah i lvoe them

fugionara... any combination of this ship makes me go nuts okay okay. the dynamics in the bucci gang will forever leave me in tatters but THE ONES BETWEEN THESE THREE IN PARTICULAR. FUCK ME UP. it’s the healing it’s the animosity it’s the regret it’s the trying to figure out your own mentally ill self while also the world ur in with these ppl u love so much and I'm going crazy okay okay okay. idk how to quite put my feelings for them in worlds i just have a lot of them and they are fuckin. overhwelming. just narancia for example meant EVERYTHING to fugo as evidence by purple haze feedback (literally every other paragraph is a flashback) and the only time giorno cries in the anime is when narancia dies. meanwhile fugo saved narancia’s life and giorno knew when to take narancia seriously as opposed to a joke. and then THE WHOLE DISCUSSION ABOUT GRIEF FUGO AND GIORNO HAVE IN PURPLE HAZE FEEDBACK? listen something about these three make me go insane and feral

foolymes like okay. okay. I'm shaking like a dog trying not to go overboard on this justification just listen to me. hermes and jolyne first find someone to trust in prison in each other. jolyne cares abt her enough that she first learns how to use stone free’s string-on-a-telephone ability bc she wanted to watch over hermes. hermes loves nd respects jolyne that after she wakes up from getting a stand shes like “hm. wonder where jolyne is” and goes to find her before all that bullshit happened just hey okay LISTEN TO ME!! and then they get foo they save her it’s just like fucking kakyoin they give her another chance and they show her what relationships are supposed to be like (fulfilling) they enjoy her company and make her laugh and she makes them laugh in return ohmy god EVERYTHING FOO FIGHTERS DID WAS FOR JOLYNE AND HERMES DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!! the marilyn mansion debt collector arc. the kiss of love and revenge arc. foo fighter’s death. I'm going to eat rocks in an attempt to stop feeling oh my god JOLYNE DIDNT EVEN BELEIVE FOO FIGHTERS WAS DYING AND THEN SHE GOT HYSTERICAL LIKE “BUT WE CAN JUST REMAKE YOU RIGHT WE HAVE YOUR STAND DISC??” SHE DOESNT WANT HER TO GOOO HELP ME HELP ME. I'm in tatters these three girls loved each other so fucking much they just wanted each other safe and they DESERVED to be safe and happy together but araki is fucking evil

jotaweather I KNOW THIS IS A CRACK SHIP I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW DONT FUCKIGN LOOK AT ME JUST HEAR ME OUT. jotaro and weather r both of similar demeanor that is quiet soft-speaking intimidating strong big aura of sadness coming from them. both have powerful stands and both had real fucked up luck in the love department. i also hc both to be autistic so that’d be another similarity. i jus think them settling down together after everything went down in a stone ocean au would be very soft and sweet yknow? they wouldn't even necessarily start it off in a romantic sense but they just take the time to try and heal with each other and eventually it just kinda veers that way. yeah

gyjo for OBVIOUS reasons like are you serious? gyro changed johnny’s fucking lfie from the SECOND they first interact johnny begins to push himself and tries to reach further/go further. and in turn johnny shows gyro you cant always be a wet blanket you need to take a stand this both helps his resolve to save the kid AND helps him to take the measures necessary to get to his goal. like gyro would not have been able to find johnny in the “who shot johnny joestar?” arc if he hadn't gone through, say, the ring roadagain arc with johnny first. listen man their relationship is literally the catalyst for this whole part it’s the driving force i just. they love each other they love each other thank you goodnight I'm emo

yasugap is just so so so so sweet it makes me so happy,,like okay josuk8 literally has a daydream where all that happens is he gives yasuho some candy and she eats it and is like “aw josuke this is so good thanks!” and she smiles at him and that’s IT THAT’S THE DAYDREAM 😭 listen they just love each other so much and i am emo. they literally SAVED EACH OTHER OKAY LIKE yasuho pulls him from the dirt and like she mentioned during the flashback chapter with the hairpin and her dad, it was also the other way around....saving josuke also saved herself and just LISTEN TO ME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. it’s a very sweet and healthy relationship and i hope to god araki makes it canon please sir ill bite you

anyway yeah these are the main main ones ? that i ship ship. like you'll get me excited if u mention them. anyway this post has gone on long enough so I'm gonna end it here by saying i really do have a thing where the relationship focuses on healing/helping one or both parties to save/improve themselves

#THIS IS SO MESSY IM SORRY I DIDNT PROOFREAD ANYTHING #uhm but yeah these guys. drive me nuts!#jjba #jojo spoilers #nothing too heavy but just in case #cass cries #iwannagrill

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hajimeow-archived · 3 years

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Yo Hajime talk abt ur kin mems

since there were no specifications on which ones i am going to start from the beginning and go where my brain takes me from there. they're all gonna be for hajime bc i physically cannot think about my other memories anymore jsyk

also! this ended up being so long i had to put a cut. i will not be apologizing because i feel no remorse.

so first the basic stuff, i remember having a med skin tone and a FUCK ton of freckles like those motherfuckers were everywhere i had skin. also i was 5'7 i think?? or 5'6. i still can't remember exactly but it's something like that. i was also alloaro, some form of mlm, unfortunately cis, and autistic and probably had some other stuff like adhd or depression or whatever but i forgot. also i was kinda muscle-y but also chubby at the same time. and i had light green eyes. basically i was fanon hajime JSJSKDJDKS

and i was going over the wiki recently and my personality was EXACTLY how they described it like i'm genuinely surprised they got it so accurate

i don't remember much pre-game and post game, most of my memories are in game but i do remember pre game chiaki really well, honestly i rly miss her :( she would always reassure me that i didn't need a talent and i never even cared when she beat me in games cus just simply playing them with her was so fun .,.,,;:,,...,,!:&:&:jsjdjskskck</3

anyways. in game. ok. i'm gonna skip over memories where i just know feelings and not specific things like strong feelings or ppl saying stuff or else this would be so long. also obvious sdr2 spoilers

so i remember the party & blackout in the beginning of the game pretty clearly. i was mostly just standing alone in the corner and watching everyone have fun, but it was really freeing to see the others able to enjoy themselves in such pressing circumstances. then the blackout-- it was kinda like all that happiness going away and the dread and denial immediately setting in .

anyways i remember like panicking and wanting to cry when i lifted the table cloth cus i really liked twogami. i'm p sure i did end up crying cus i really liked them for their realism and leadership skills, and the realization that one of us killed them and that the killing game was actually real etc etc

anyway i don't remember much from the investigation or trial besides being really freaked out when nagito basically admitted to being the killer n stuff, and pretty much all the body discoveries after that (besides ch 5) we're just like "ah shit here we go again" but i do remember mikans trial really freaking me out when she just straight up shifted completely, and i also remember being really proud of fuyuhiko for putting his walls down a bit and deciding to help everyone out while the despair disease was going around

anyway enough of the boring stuff, i spent basically all my free time with komaeda, chiaki and mikan (in order of frequency) and with mikan i mostly listened to her talk about medical stuff and i comforted her when she needed to vent, but i didn't hang out with her much because the constant apologizing n stuff started to bother me since i really liked seeing her happy. chiaki i would mostly play games with and we wouldn't talk much, but she gave me a really strong sense of familiarity like when we played games together it gave me a shit ton of deja vu

AND i've already talked a lot about komaeda but idc i'm doing it again. so we started talking cus of him waking me up on the beach obvs and i was pretty attached right off the bat, but i stopped talking to him for awhile because the way he acted in the first trial REALLY scared me so i just got a pit in my stomach even being around him

but he was the one who started approaching me first, i'm guessing since he couldn't rly sense anything was wrong he just kinda picked things up where they left off and started talking w me at breakfast n stuff and it was pretty weird at first, but i wanted to give him a chance and didn't wanna be rude so i accepted offers to hang out in his cottage n stuff

i remember he has surgery scars tho and i'm rly mad ppl don't draw him with any!! i think he had about 5 and i don't remember all of them but i know one was a skin graft on his leg and the one on his side/stomach that i touched wassssss for appendix removal maybe???? mmmm i'm not too sure about that one tho

also !!!! his death. hoooooly shit. ok so yunno the despair that junko always talks about ?????? yeah <3!! i remember like once i saw his body and took the reality in i just. straight up could NOT stand i like fell to my knees and jsut . cried. like i had no thoughts my head was so full that it was empty i just kinda sat there and silent cried while chiaki stood next to me it was so awful dude

later while investigating n stuff i felt really bad ab how i treated him and thought about him, and i thought a lot about our last interaction. it was the first time i had ever approached him myself cus usually he'd come to me. i was gonna hang out with chiaki but i wanted to check up on him first, so i did and he told me to go hang out with the others and i just. knew something terrible was about to happen.

OH AND THE FUNHOUSE OMG ok i literally. i usually didn't mind being around komaeda like he was chill most of the time when he wasn't ranting about hope but when he was acting like such a bitch in the funhouse i wanted to punch his stupid twink ass so bad like...... what BUSINESS does this dude have being such an asshole. he doesn't even know what face wash is. what the fuck. which is another fun fact! komaeda did shower every so often which is why he didn't smell that bad but his skin was always so dry cus he didn't know how to actually wash right and do proper skincare so he just washed his face w soap and left it like that

also he didn't need to cut his nails cus they were so brittle they would just break off on their own <3 plus he had a nail biting habit so they just never grew ever

OH AND THIS IS THE SADDEST THING i remember feeling so bad for this man bc i would like put my hand on his shoulder and he would lean into it. i mean i'd tap his shoulder for a SECOND and girl when i let go hed be lowkey so sad i could just sense it like??????dude he needed a hug SSO BAD like when i hugged him in my cuddling memory he was like holding on for dear life but also was like "u dOnT hAvE tO tOuCh TrAsH LiKe mE hAjImE" like dude it was the saddest shit. i want to hug him forever. like what the fuck what the fuck!!!!!!!!!

also a thing hed do when he started ranting ab hope n shit like he would just go on and on and yunno that one sprite where he's hugging himself yeah he literally did that shit. also sometimes hed just stare dead at me and start backing me into a corner ((ish-- we were usually sitting somewhere but he mostly just got super close to me) and it was the scariest shit i. bro if i saw him like that on the streets i'd return him to the mental hospital like i can remember it somewhat vividly and that shit was TERRIFYING i mean obvs after i shoved him away and told him to cool it he'd apologize and go back to the way he was but jeez dude ....

also a little fun fact the only reason i really kept hanging out with him (i had a few ofc but this was the most prominent) is cus he was hot in my stupid monkey brain. yes that's it. like that's literally pretty much it. i hate admitting it but this post is SO fucking long i doubt anyone's gonna read it anyway so i'm admitting it now lol

anyway i hope u enjoyed :) i'm glad u asked btw! i'm sure you regret it though!

#do not fucking underestimate me #i feel like i'm not allowed to talk about myself in conversation so when i'm asked like this you're NOT hearing the end of it #kinblr #fictionkin #hajime hinata kin #nagito komaeda kin #putting this in tags bc theres so much and. i dunno ajdjdjsjdk #kin talk #ask #bestie neko 💕

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musashi · 3 years

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sending u this ask as an opportunity for u to talk to me abt fi!! i love ur thoughts n words on things nd i don't send asks as much bc i don't have. good words to talk to u abt stuff but i rlly enjoy just. ur Passion nd stuff. autistic people r the best at talking abt stuff i stand by that we r just Epic. anyways if u wanna, i'd love to hear more about just... how fi sorta. changes, over the game? like the Little Things that show her starting 2 care abt link more, or becoming more "human"!

i love this whole ask. you’re right autistic folks r sexy as hell idk how the divine powers that be fit so much passion into my tiny body but i’m glad they made the attempt.

ANYWAYS FI. i don’t think i’ve ever actually laid this out because for the most part it is incredibly subtle and requires a lot of filling in gaps yourself, and i think that someone who cares less abt her can probably come away from it with an entirely different interpretation. fi’s development of actual feelings are a very sudden a mysterious thing, and i have a LOT of thoughts about them going in a lot of different directions so forgive me if this answer isn’t particularly linear or coherent. i’m not just gonna talk about her slow burn into feeling things, i’m also gonna talk about... why i think it happens.

we don’t get to learn a lot about sword spirits and how they come into being, other than it takes great power to enchant a sword with a spirit/temper a sword with one inside it. hylia obviously created fi and, presumably, demise created ghirahim, and they are pretty much as opposite as two people can be with their only real characteristic in common being precision, intelligence & otherworldly loyalty to their respective masters.

we thus don’t get to learn how much control the creator of a sword spirit has over what kind of spirit comes of it, if their personalities are organic to their experiences or crafted from the moment they awaken. what i mean by this is like... ghirahim could have been a cold, calculating AI like fi when he was first tempered and gained his dramatics over time, we have no idea how long he’s been alive in comparison to her, if his personality is so much more extroverted because he was allowed a life outside his blade whereas fi was isolated in hers for millennia. or if he just came into creation immediately ready to scream and stick his tongue in ppl’s ears.

i swear to god i’m going somewhere with this. ok. anyways.

fi in the beginning of skyward sword is, i think, how most people remember her--data-interested, icy, and detached. there is a reverence in how she addresses link from the start, even before he formally becomes her wielder, but beyond that she is calculating and precise and rarely wastes words. all of this kinda paints a picture of hylia creating fi, to me--breathing life into the spirit and willing her to be effective, be efficient, be loyal, and be sharp. when you have that image in your head, a lot of how fi operates makes sense--she wasn’t created to have emotions, because emotions get in the way of what her purpose is. hylia made a weapon and a servant, not a friend. it sucks to think about, but that is fi’s purpose.

the game is very careful, however, to show you it’s not that simple from the beginning. because hidden in Ice Queen Fi’s introduction is... a surprising amount of personality.

like this shit, where she straightup just dunks gaepora in the trash because his #Lore is out of date. it’s hysterical because you really do not know if she’s just a) an AI who doesn’t understand when she’s being kinda Rude or b) being snarky On Purpose. and that ambiguity in itself crafts this beautiful air of mystery where you, from the get go, don’t entirely know what to expect of fi all the time.

or this, which she says directly after link hesitates to accept the blade:

this scene, which people who have edgier takes on fi constantly use to paint her as intentionally manipulative, where all i see is... her using emotional validation to calm link down enough for him to take in what’s happening. a really important thing about fi is that she’s paradoxically an empath? she can read auras and detect emotion with extreme precision even if she’s incapable of feeling it herself in the beginning. so she knows everything link is experiencing here, understands that it’s holding him back, and takes care to deconstruct the whirlwind of emotion he’s collapsing under and explain to him why he can and should trust her words.

again this is all in her introductory scene. they write her very specifically to be a seemingly flat character with this... rumbling of something more going on under the surface. so much so that the first time you get to a sacred spring and fi, completely randomly, just starts skating across the water’s surface and speaking ancient poeticisms to you, you don’t question it. you’re not like hey, why is sword alexa doing a little dance? you just accept it as something fi is doing, because fi always feels like she’s at her job, and you don’t know how she acts outside of work, but you kinda feel like maybe you want to.

fi’s affinity for music is another way they insert humanity into an AI without making you think too hard about it. singing and dancing are inherently human, artforms are something we associate with the heart and soul. even teaching a robot to paint is, in itself, an art project crafted by a human hand. but you don’t really... consciously think about that, when you watch her do these things. you just kind of accept that she is this otherworldly thing guiding you. you don’t think about the contrast of this programmed assistant performing music alongside you in a sacred ritual. you’re just kind of like, yeah? i can’t JUST play nayru’s wisdom on my harp, i need someone who can sing and god put a vocaloid in my sword???

throughout the game, fi’s dialogue chains when you summon her don’t change in any meaningful way (besides based on what you’re carrying, where you are, etc) but as you near the end, there are a couple things of note. one that sticks out to me is what she says about one of the mid-game minibosses, who is also an artificial intelligence--

a lot of people laugh abt this line and make jokes about fi being hot for the tall handsome robot pirate and they’re valid. but the thing is, like, from the beginning of her mission, fi knew she’d essentially be dying once the world was saved. and early game fi has no hesitations about her part in things regardless, because, as we know, she wasn’t created to feel things like that. she wasn’t created to fear death, to grow attached to life or anyone in it, or to experience sorrow at the idea of saying goodbye. but this is mid-game fi, who still... never says anything she doesn’t deem entirely necessary, but she says this. for no discernible reason, she says this. it’s an unskippable dialogue option, one they WANT you to see and one that is different when you know where she ends up. admiration is already something you wouldn’t really expect of her, but it’s more than that--she’s longing for her own story to mirror it. by the sand sea, fi has started to realize she doesn’t want to go to sleep.

it’s another one of those moments where you’re kinda like, ‘haha, what, fi?' and then move on. another one of those moments where she kinda does something a little unexpected, but not so unexpected you question it too hard. fi excels at those.

before you go off to fight demise, fi stops you to warn you that it is the final battle, and you cannot return. and when you tell her you’re ready, she says this:

as i’ve said, fi doesn’t waste words. almost always, everything she says is for the purpose of efficiency, and rarely does she offer thoughts without fixed probabilities and ultimate endgoals in mind.

this is a sentiment.

it serves no purpose. it is purely an expression of devotion.

and because of EVERYTHING i’ve mentioned thus far, this line both hits you HARD as significant and foreboding in how suddenly tender it is, AND manages to read as in-character for her to say. because the way they write fi’s humanity is so beneath the surface, so easily missable, so hard for me to even lay out with concrete evidence despite the fact that i’m a person who reads a text dump of all her dialogue before bed every night.

but to me, what lays out fi’s inner workings best is actually her actual goodbye, and... not the moment most people would think, tbh? it’s not her tender farewell that speaks her emotions loudest to me, but the moment right before:

these lines, which would read as perfectly in character if it were early game fi, cut you. her complete and utter flippancy, the way she talks about all you’ve been through together as though it were nothing to her, the absolute coldness here after everything. you as a player feel kind of pathetic when she says this, like you were misguided in growing attached to her and thinking of her as a friend. and you KNOW thats the intended effect, because this is what link looks like:

he takes a moment in that last shot to like. swallow sadness and turn away from her, but even as he’s turning his head, he doesn’t take his eyes off her until the last possible moment. she hurts his feelings! why.

because it’s an act, is why. of COURSE fi loves him. of course she’s grown attached to him, of course she’s happy to have known him, of COURSE they’re friends. but fi was NEVER supposed to feel that way, she was never supposed to have the capability to love, and there’s no calculation she can run to set the uncertainties of that at ease within herself. so those lines up above is her trying her best to reset herself to who she was in the beginning, to snap herself back into the role of an emotionless servant to the goddess, to convince herself--not link--that saying goodbye won’t hurt. she’s trying to cope with something she has no idea was in the cards for her, and that’s why she’s seemingly so cruel for a moment.

all of this becomes apparent when she calls him back moments later and tells him how she really feels. there’s major whiplash because fi herself is Going Thru It. but essentially what’s happening in that moment is she thinks she knows what will hurt the least, but she miscalculates and backpedals and realizes even if saying goodbye hurts, it hurts less than pretending she doesn’t want to.

i think a lot of people overlook that line--“the most precious data i have on record.” fi, who contains multitudes within her. who contains knowledge immeasurable, the thoughts and feelings and stories of thousands. of civilizations, of gods, of countless ages passed. everything she holds within her is dwarfed entirely by what she feels for link, beside link. nothing in her encyclopedic knowledge can even compare to her friendship with him in the significance it has to her. like all things, fi has her own way of communicating her meanings, and this is her way of saying she really, truly loves him.

in addition, she very carefully does this after he abandons the sword, so it’s clear that it’s of her own will, not a part of her purpose as his servant. for this whole cutscene, up until she end, she drops the honourific and calls him just Link.

and while i see a lot of people debate if she truly does ‘feel,’ anything, like... she says it right here, she does. whether or not she was able to feel from the beginning or not, she can feel now. she has trouble putting words to those feelings, or explaining to herself and others where on earth they came from... but she feels now. that cannot be disputed.

happiness that she was able to know him. loyalty she wants to transcend lifetimes. sorrow at the idea of them having to part. gratitude that he took the chance, and did so beside her.

let’s talk about gratitude.

in skyward sword, gratitude is a tangible source of magic. it opposes malice, which as of botw is a reoccurring thing in zelda lore. skyward sword has two items--evil crystals and gratitude crystals--that represent malice and gratitude respectively. while the first isn’t entirely relevant, the second is something you’re actively encouraged to more or less harvest by helping people and basking in their thanks toward you. these feelings of gratitude are so canonically powerful in the zelda universe that they can turn monsters into humans entirely, and the outpouring of energy that event causes makes every monster & hostile creature within all of skyloft turn docile at once.

according to batreaux, the monster in question, this is well-established legend, the idea of gratitude granting humanity to the nonhuman. skyward sword literally said the power of love was canon.

the song that plays over the goodbye, of course, is called fi’s gratitude.

this is just one theory i have on the matter, but... whether hylia intended or foresaw fi to be capable of feeling human emotion or not, i do believe it was gratitude that woke her heart up. whether she was meant to love or not, link’s spirit contained within it enough love for the both of them, enough to touch her soul and rouse her from her cold and emotionless state. as always, through everything, they work in perfect tandem--his passionate heart touches hers as it sleeps, her wisdom holds him steady and level-headed.

when fi says “may we meet again in another life,” she says it like a prayer, because it is one--she knows hylia, knows that hylia loved link’s spirit just as she did, and knows that hylia of all people understands what the sword spirit is going through. and fi also knows that hylia immortalizes those she loves with cycles, with reincarnation, eternal life without the pain of never dying. fi doesn’t have a soul that hylia can bring back from death nor a physical body to revive, but she works with what she can--and so long as link’s spirit breathes anew, he finds fi. in a sunlit grove, with light bearing down on her, safe and warm and always loyal, even as the world rages on outside. fidelis, she was named for--“faithful.”

the fandom doesn’t really talk abt it, but fi is an angel. she’s an angel god sent to watch over one human, and when god said your mission is complete fi faced god and walked backwards into hell. her divine mission is long passed, but it stopped being about what she was fated to do long ago.

fi began to watch over link because he was her master. and fi resolved to stay forever because he was link.

#skyward sword #long post #hand of sorrow #wendy rambles #Anonymous #wendy answers

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angeltrapz · 3 years

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SAW ask time 💚 wld love to hear abt chainshipping + Adam bein autistic— maybe like what Lar notices abt Adam’s stims, things he does for him/ways he helps when Adam needs it. Also for Eric/Adam, maybe any thoughts on Eric finally like.. realizing he’s got a special interest?? ik we’ve talked abt how hard he masks but bein around Adam (n Mallick) helps him relax abt that, so like maybe how does he react + what is th special interest? anything u wanna dish abt!

thank u it’s always SAW ask time in my heart <33

!!! I was just thinkin abt tht!!! our minds 💫

I think th first time he rly sees Adam stimming (i.e. flapping his hands) he’d be like “what’s that?” but not in a rude way - genuinely a tone of “I want 2 know more abt this thing, pls tell me” rather than anything anywhere near condescending/annoyed/mean-spirited like Adam has dealt w fr YEARS at this point. so he’s definitely put on edge a lil bit bc he can’t help it, maybe he starts to like wind down and force himself into quiet hands, but Lawrence is immediately like “no I wasn’t making fun of you!! u don’t have to stop doing it!” which kinda stops Adam short like. what r we doing here. usually when ppl ask me tht they’re also telling me 2 stop. finally Lawrence says “I was just wondering what kind of stim tht was,” like he didn’t almost (accidentally) uproot Adam’s whole shit + is currently Doing So Now by using actual terms tht Adam didn’t know he knew, n so he like takes a moment to absorb tht comment n then he’s like. “oh. it means I’m happy or excited?” and honestly? when Lawrence hears tht? he’s like “oh... so then you’re rly happy? 🥺” n it’s just like. a moment fr both of them lol. (Adam feels Much safer discussing things after tht too, in several ways. it definitely helps w building trust between them!!)

after that though Lawrence definitely takes notice of more things! he’s not afraid 2 ask questions, so tht’s smth tht’s rly good fr them - Lawrence being able to seek information (he also does his own reading + research) to better understand, n not in tht shitty mommy blogger “I know yr in there somewhere” way. he doesn’t want 2 change Adam. he wants a better grasp on wht Adam’s experiences r like so he can help n minimize stress abt certain things. fr Adam tht’s definitely like.. foreign territory, bc as u’ve mentioned b4 + my personal hc as well, his parents didn’t really care 2 get him formally diagnosed + even acted like there was No Way he cld be neurodivergent in any sense, so 2 have some1 who is interested n respectful is So important 2 him. (personal hc time: I hc Adam as both adhd AND autistic like me so there’s tht!!)

so like he takes notice of th way Adam likes 2 roll things btwn his fingers (shirt sleeves, shirt hems, hoodie drawstrings, blankets, soft fabrics he likes the texture of, etc.) n is just like Oh Idea. I like 2 think he gets Adam one of those bead lanyards (like this one, which I also have!) fr him to fidget w n he kind of presents it like “I thought maybe u wld like smth like this?” n honestly he’s a lil nervous abt what Adam is going 2 say. but Adam takes it n holds it fr a minute, rolling th beads n messing w th lanyard itself 2 kind of test it, n he just looks up n smiles n he’s like “I love this. u’ve been paying tht much attention??” n fr Lawrence it’s just like “yes? of course? bc I love u?” like it’s th simplest thing in th world n Adam’s just. Huh. no he does Not tear up, if Lawrence told u tht he’s lying. he’s just Rly not used 2 ppl who want 2 know more without wanting to “get inside his head” or belittle him fr it (ties into my hc tht fr th most part, Adam hasn’t rly had any Good friends...) so it takes a lil getting used to.

another thing!! Lawrence does is ask 2 listen 2 Adam infodump abt his special interests - esp photography!! like they do this thing where if it’s not too late at night by th time Lawrence comes home frm work, Lawrence will take a quick shower n then get into his pajamas n into bed (just fr some quiet quality time b4 they go to bed, bc he still tends 2 come home a bit late), n he’ll have Adam sit next 2 him n he’ll be like “what do u want to tell me?” bc tht’s another thing tht Adam was entirely unused 2 - having ppl who didn’t just tolerate his infodumping, they wanted to hear it. Lawrence might be th first person to not actually give him shit fr it/tell him he’s being annoying/shut him down completely. again, it takes Adam a lil bit to b fully comfortable w it, but once he is he adores having tht time to be excited abt things w another person! who he knows Wants to listen!! (if we’re going th route I personally like 2 think abt sometimes too, where Lawrence is autistic as well, I feel like they infodump back n forth abt photography n medical stuff. do either of them rly know what the other is saying? not rly. are they listening happily bc that’s their partner n it’s smth they’re excited abt? oh absolutely!)

I think Adam has a tendency to eat a lot of th same foods bc they’re safe n he knows he likes them/doesn’t mind their texture (which is a big issue w trying new foods fr him), which is smth tht Lawrence also takes note of and as such, he likes 2 make sure they’re regularly stocked up on at least some of tht stuff. it’s not even smth he tells Adam he’s doing, bc it’s rly tht simple 2 him - Adam likes these things n therefore we shld have them at th house - but fr Adam it’s just One Of Those Things, y’know?? he got so much shit as a kid fr being such a “picky eater” n got shit fr it as a teenager too bc “why don’t u ever try anything new??” was smth his friends/parents Loved 2 say. it’s th fact tht Lawrence rolls w it so easily, doesn’t poke or prod for reasons he eats th way he does, and doesn’t get upset w him fr it/try 2 force him into things he isn’t comfortable w. it means a lot to him, more than he’ll ever have words 2 say (but he does always kiss Lawrence’s cheek when he gets back frm th store n he sees some of his same foods, which is just as good). it’s loving tht he’s autistic because it’s a part of him, a fact, not despite or in spite of. tht’s what’s so nice n kind of healing abt it; feeling safe 2 express yrself as u are w a partner who u know u can trust. who maybe words questions a bit funny sometimes, completely unintentionally, not out of malice (where allistic Lawrence is concerned, anyway). Adam feels Safe, n tht means a lot 2 him.

as fr ways he helps him!! a big thing is tht Lawrence is observant, esp as they spend more n more time together. a lot of th time, even when it’s just th two of them alone, Adam might have trouble maintaining eye contact fr an extended period of time, n Lawrence might not know how much it Actually helps, but he doesn’t mind tht Adam doesn’t always look at his face when they’re talking. it’s smth tht takes a little getting used 2, but he was never shitty about it w Adam. the way he sees it is if it makes Adam more comfortable, why shld he get upset abt it? it’s not like he doesn’t know when Adam’s talking 2 him anyway, or tht he can’t tell if Adam is listening; Lawrence knows both of those things, so Adam not making eye contact isn’t a problem, y’know? it’s okay. n I rly don’t know if Lawrence is fully aware of how much Adam appreciates tht.

another thing is he’s patient + understanding when Adam is nonverbal, whether it be bc he’s having a shutdown/meltdown, sensory overload, or just plain Difficulty w speech. it kinda depends on what I’m writing at th time, but I feel like Adam might have picked up at least a lil bit of sign language here n there; mostly simple phrases tht get th point across. I like 2 think Lawrence learns what they mean so he can take tht stress off of Adam’s shoulders, but most times, Adam is just comfortable sitting in silence w someone he cares abt.

OH brief thing Lawrence is RLY good at helping w pressure stims. he gives amazing bear hugs n I feel like he’d also probably let Adam lay on him if they’re on th couch/in bed. I just Feel It.

OHH I think abt Eric finally developing a special interest now tht he feels more comfortable w doing so a lot. honestly I kind of rly like th idea tht his special interest might be info abt rats! it kind of hits him when he catches himself writing down lil facts (tht might not even be related to pet care!) in his notebook so he’ll remember them + always being excited 2 learn more n share what he’s learned. it makes Adam SO happy to see him being comfortable w tht aspect of himself, esp now that he’s safe to explore it w ppl who understand n who won’t discourage him/belittle him for it,, Mallick too of course, but Adam knows how much Eric struggled w tht kind of thing for such a long time so he’s just. Ah. 🥺🥺

like they’ll all b chilling on th couch (Eric, Mallick, n Adam) n Eric will have his head against Adam’s shoulder while his hand is on Mallick’s chest, who has HIS head in Eric’s lap w his legs dangling off th armrest, n he’ll be like “did u know tht when rats r happy, they grind their teeth together? it’s called bruxing n then sometimes their eyes move in their sockets rly fast while they’re doing it. tht’s called boggling.” n Adam will be smiling so wide when he says he didn’t know tht but it’s rly cool!! n then Mallick will start asking questions n he n Adam just listen while Eric infodumps fr probably th very first time since he was very very young, before it was masked out of him by his parents. n he finds tht he Doesn’t feel so bad abt it anymore, not when he’s around ppl who want him to be happy and want to see him be happy - esp ppl who encourage it n let him know it isn’t smth he has to hide/keep locked away. it’s hard 2 b ashamed of himself when Adam n Mallick r looking at him w genuine interest in their eyes n so so much love.

he might still like, slip back into masking behaviour every now n then, bc it’s something he’s still dealing w n learning 2 leave behind, but after he discovers his first special interest it gets a little easier, letting go of that way of life. it was smth he was forced into by adults who didn’t actually want th best for him like they said they did when they put him through “therapy,” but w partners he knows understand n who are even autistic themselves, Eric slowly learns 2 be more comfortable w it. it’s slow, but it’s progress. bit of a learning curve. he’ll get there.

#just if anyones curious yes I am also autistic #I know I mentioned tht in th response itself but U Know!#saw #adam #lawrence #eric #mallick #asks #god I love getting asks frm u u Understand me #tysm!!!! I appreciate it a whole lot things have been sort of rough #oh another note I kind of write adam at least w a lot of my mannerisms/experiences #it's what I know lol

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matoitech · 3 years

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I rlly like your prmare takes and i think that if u wanna talk more abt galo and autism that'd be great! (take this ask as your chance to do so)

THANK YOU ANON AND GODD I COULD WRITE ONE MILLION ESSAYS ABT IT ALL I STILL WANT TO MAKE MY LIKE LONG YOUTUBE VIDEO ESSAY ABT IT ALL BUTITS SO MUCH its so much stuff to find and put together into a coherent thing that makes sense bcuz to fully explain id have to go over autistic characters and disability in media in general, gets down deep in2 ableism and violence against autistic ppl... its a lot! and its rough so.. not smth i will talk abt rn <3 i have enough

anyway i dont even know where to begin ive talked so much abt it and im trying to figure out what to talk abt that isnt me like getting in2 the not fun part of a huge part of Knowing galo autism bcuz of allistic fan response + how trigger wrote him but yeah i think sooo much abt galo bcuz fave character but also galo autism SO REAL and genuinely a huge part of why i love him like galo would NOT be galo without being autistic which is why so many fics n shit ive seen just dont rly feel like him lol, ppl either go like insultingly ableist portrayel or they scrub his personality away to be nothing but existing as sexy eye candy for lio. there is SUCH an interesting character here that ppl want to flatten and i do not get it!!! in canon his character and relationships ESPECIALLY with lio are all written around him being autistic its a major part of his character n understanding his relationships w other characters and even the narrative, i would say 'even if it wasnt intentional' but u do not say what they did to him in the ova and have that not be intentional like there is some level of intention here even if thats not smth theyd ever talk abt. sometimes ppl talk abt like subtle homophobia within the narrative and promare universe that obviously leads to galo and lio connecting and vibing and how important their relationship is to both of them which is true! but i think too reading them both as autistic (galo Is and lio bcuz It Makes Sense and makes their relationship even more interesting) and understanding how tha autism has everything to do with galos relationships and feelings abt his place in the world especially is also rly important to understanding them! like whenever ppl act like galo has no understanding at all of anything similar to what lios been through and he has no understanding of oppression or discrimination like hes not aware to SOME extent of the world hes living in and situation hes in (INSERT TANGENT ABT THE LAKE SCENE PROVING GALO AND AINA FEEL SUFFOCATED W THE EXPECTATIONS THEYRE CARRYING) i just feel completely blown away bcuz not only is he gay but hes also autistic so like how does one walk away from promare thinking galo doesnt understand lio at all on that level even if the discrimination they face manifests differently w the burnish as like their worlds scapegoat, and working together and respecting and loving ppl even if u dont fully understand their situation n struggles. galo being autistic is JUST as important as galo being mlm in my bisexual man opinion and it bugs me that ppl act like galo being autistic is smth they can extract out of galo and out of the narrative and have it still b the same story and same character and same relationship w lio cuz no it obviously isnt! but fandoms have a hard time w that one

even tho trigger treats him like. well its Odd to say the least. he still ended up being like a rly good autistic character to me, i avoid saying stuff like Good Rep bcuz that is entirely based on ur own opinion and i liked him and i know autistic ppl see galo and r like You but saying 'good rep' implies like, trigger treated him great too and. i dont feel like getting in2 it ive talked abt it b4 but they treat him weirdly. anyway im constantly surprised when ppl treat galo autism like a headcanon or something too ITS KIND OF A PET PEEVE OF MINE RLY when i see ppl say galo autism 'headcanon' i feel like saying dont tiptoe around allistics comfort they dont even know anything abt autism why do they get to decide if a characters autistic lol! anyway yeah i dont even know what to say i just get rly excited abt galo and abt this bcuz like, huge part of my understanding of promare and the characters to me! maybe someday i rly WILL make that epic youtube essay

i did NOT proof read this i slapped it all down and am throwing it out in2 the world but i lovoelove talking abt it bahaha thank u anon if u want smth more specific or for me to elaborate on anything feel free 2 ask cuz i just rambled

#anon #fess replies #long post #GOOD GOD MAN #promare #mine

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

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currently t posing as hard as ever thanks to also being stuck in [i can't believe i have to create what i want to create] mode... comradeship... ✨🔮🍺⚡

ugh smh at all of us attempting to create anything......comrades in this mess for sure B/ when will we learn

✨ Favourite aesthetic?

i can enjoy some like Muted Atmospheric type palettes......like, dim lighting / atmospheric distancing, maybe some monochrome-leaning stuff, Desaturated Colors which is wild as i never use this aesthetic myself lmao and am being unusually “restrained” if i choose Non-100% Saturated Colors.......i like some nighttime / dusk type Visuals although then within that i like both like, more ~realistically~ muted/dark stuff And Also like stylistically brightened / more saturated blues than you’d Really see at night, plus maybe some Warm Lighting from some source, don’t have to lean full thomas kinkade with it or whatever but it’s good. and Sunset type lighting where there’s both like, some colorful Lighting but also more desaturated shadows.......i don’t go so much for earth / jewel tones really like, either Lighter & Brighter or Darker & More Muted is my like Palette sensibilities apparently

🔮 Any advice you would have given 10 y/o you?

i have to like count out like what year of school are people in at whatever age....that’d be circa 4th/5th grade i guess?? not much going on. 4th grade was that one [several scenes from julius caesar] where it was like oh this is pretty clear You’re A Theatre Gay (which i only put together v recently for how obvious it was lol) and also of Course You’re Trans lmao like, may as well explain not only what Being Trans is (i don’t like, particularly remember when i became aware of That Being A Thing was?? like i know i knew by 14 but...) and go ahead and explain being Nonbinary coz it Was a good few years before i like, heard of that as a concept.....speaking of the Circa-’10s Dialogue i could’ve explained “you aren’t obligated to like, lgbtq-dom to Come Out to your family” b/c my Attempt at that only inconvenienced me and it’s just not a good/true sentiment for anyone lol........took a minute to like, get Perspective on things where i had this assumption that i’d Age Out of what turned out to be more inherent issues like [you are autistic, and also queer, and ppl don’t always just Make Friend Groups by high school age lol] and [family dynamics are not all Like This and it seems like the ‘rents approach is Wild b/c it is and it’s not Really going to fundamentally change so just don’t worry about the Continual Strife lol not on you actually] like, there’s a real On The One Hand But On The Other matter where my getting to go away to college gave that chance for some crucial Distance / Perspective on things about myself and my existence, but also forever in “i kind of hate school despite whatever parts are alright-to-good” club and did i need to rack up the tuition-etc Costs, would i have been able to get the Perspective in high school? probably in part but i also would’ve probably hated the [academic] part more and also would’ve been around most of the same ppl since kindergarten and yet i was sitting at the Odds N Ends lunch table probably just reading, so even though i was also not magically Socially Thriving in college, it was better from that angle too.......maybe could’ve told myself to do Backstage Theatre Stuff, since there was that issue of “i like to Perform but didn’t quite enjoy Family Members seeing it lmao”......compromise about your theatre gayness? who knows. generally tell myself to not worry about being Not Unruly as much, see: [the conflict is inevitable and too fundamental] lmao from many angles......who tf knows what primers on [Political Awareness] i could give a 10 yr old, that’s sure developing more in those years............idk like there’s Much 2 Consider but at the same time even Theoretically i’m not pressed to mess with the timeline lmao. like really just Maybe the small tip like “people are trans and specifically being nonbinary is A Thing and you are not obligated to Come Out To Parents” like, lord knows you get enough of their [i suspect and resent my progeny is not gender &/or sexualitying Correctly] without even bothering to confirm it for them

🍺 Favourite drink?

damb.......i like a Coffee alright for like, non-practical reasons i.e. all caffeine is likely to do is make me even sweatier than usual........tea can be pretty good, i like fruit / mint flavors (separately...).......sweet tea / lemonade combo (or just sweet tea ft. like a lemon wedge) pretty much fucks, or just regular lemonade on its own lol.......orange juice is okay, teresa was talking abt orange juice And apple cider last night like yeah apple cider’s okay, i went from liking apple juice to finding it intolerable and now i think i Can power through it w/o enthusiasm but apple cider is always great. grape soda is good and so is orange soda, sprite, ginger ale......and also Grape Juice is rly good......s/o to Water, idk that anyone’s enthused or anything on average but thank you for the hydration........idk i’m just out here like Sipppp........just wanna avoid anything Overall bitter really (tea / coffee always gotta be sweetened.....if i’m having Alcohol it’s gotta be like some cocktail and even then i've like multiple times tried and failed to just power through a pina colada. various unsweetened Teas have also just been like, i’d rather have the plain water. oh yeah and sparkling water, tf is going on there, Gross......avoided it wholly for years but last i checked cherry juice Specifically is intolerable 2 me) but idk i guess yeah if you take the Average of everything the answer is just like. water.........this just epitomizes my Asks Answers lmfao there’s no real answer but i take forever writing down whatever thought crosses my mind in the course of figuring it out and go tl;dr n/a or [the most boring answer possible]

⚡ Ever had a Greek Mythology phase?

i feel like i’m sort of forgetting some aspects to the “not really but kind of” answer like, most summers i’d Partake in some sort of daytime 2-3 week Activities camp lmao and i feel like one of them of yore mayyyybe had some kind of greek mythology theme to it b/c we had yknow like these smaller groups and i think we had to come up with Skits explaining greek myths b/c our like 4-5 person group did Arachne and i’m fairly sure that everyone else’s was along those lines lmao nothing Completely Different.......most of what i really remember was like, first of all it’s that “i cannot simply Think Of An Idea” problem lmao like tf do you mean Create A Skit......but it wasn’t just Me so we worked around it lol. and anyways the most Memorable thing was like, the day before we were gonna Present these skits we were like “uh how are we gonna have a Visible Spider’s Web” and one of the people were like “i have like a sheet with a spiderweb design on it” and we were like are you gonna forget to bring it though, and then she forgot to bring it, and when someone in our group like told An Adult like “uh what do we do if a sort of essential prop is Unavailable” we were unhelpfully brushed off with “you’ll just have to use your imaginations” and so we bitterly were like Oh Is THAT The Sentiment Then............and what we did is like, i don’t remember what [sort of chorus / narrator] greek god i happened to be playing but i was the one to hold up the “web” like wow amazing weaving here, as per the myth of arachne, and since we didn’t have anything and were told to just use our imaginations to rectify the issue, i held up the corners of Absolutely Nothing and announced it was sure an incredible woven spider’s web, i.e. the audience had to Imagine It.........a real memorable event of Inspired Pettiness from us like 9 yr olds or whatever the fuck. lmfao. of course nobody would’ve given a shit either way but we were somewhat pressed about it so it was fun to just like, get that Stress brushed off and in turn go “ah fuck it then” lmfao

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coldasyou · 5 years

Text

Hello and welcome to my thoughts ™ on the new episode of the good doctor! I know you are all DYING to hear them so let’s go.

We love an opening that references season 1 episodes! (Added to my gif list)

Is lea implying her family was poor ugh icon

Poor Shaun he deserves better

Claire and Shaun aren’t together I really can never win

I’m screaming grey’s anatomy really took all the good paitent storylines rip

MORGAN NO ASKING QUESTIONS TO THE PAITENTS SHAUN GOT TRANSFERED FOR THAT SHIT!

Killed someone this show has lost it

Ugh skip

They’re really just throwing out brain scans as if those doesn’t cost thousands of dollars paitents can’t afford that

The scalpel is back THE LEVELS the show said if we’re going back to season 1 storylines we’re doing it all…does this mean Shaun and Claire can act like they did in season 1 and actually talk?

CARLYYYYYYY fucking finally this really is a season one throwback and we get a last name

She is so sweet

And she is talking to Shaun can Claire come hang out too

Me too Shaun me too

Ugh this is why I’m a humanities person

IM SCREAMING leave Claire the fuck alone

Morgan was so quick to be like “SO YOU HATE EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES IN GOD HMMM” breznik feelings canceled until they have a cute glance again

I’m already annoyed with this plotline

Claire is talking to ******** more than she talked to Shaun last episode shaire stans remain the MOST oppressed

WHY DOES EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW HAVE CANCER???

Can I call Claire an atheist icon now? If they make her change her beliefs I’m gonna be annoyed lmao. I think there can be some middle ground here y’all

I relate to all this Catholic Guilt ™ tho

Park needs to stop acting like he gives a shit lmao

Park stop fucking stirring the pot since when did YOU care

Ugh it’s hard only stanning four ppl on this show

Can someone PLS just threaten to sue Han or leak this to the press lmao problem solved you’re welcome

How iconic would it be if lim was just like “I’m autistic. Are you going to transfer me too?”…LISTEN SHE IS AUTISTIC

I was right Claire looks beautiful

How can you afford all these surgeries I’m yelling

Who is being poisoned with cyanide I’m screaming can we pls have a show abt pathology and Carly and not these boring ass plots we’ve been getting

NEXT TIME I love one (1) man

CLAIRE YESSS FIGHT FOR YOUR HUSBAND

She deserves better I’m tired of everyone talking down to her

SHE IS A LOYAL FRIEND AND ALSO GIRLFRIEND AND ALSO WIFE

I’m screaming can we pls have her go talk to Shaun abt all this and promise she’ll fight for him or is that to much to ask

The ableism is jumping out

IM SCREAMING DID YALL JUST COMPARE AUTISM TO THE FLU???

Han is why men don’t have rights

Claire is the queen of being right while everyone else is dumb af

Oh this lady damn everyone is coming back this episode!

Glassman she’s dating someone why are you so Dense

Is this gonna be like a Brennan from bones situation where everyone keeps pushing religion on Claire when she doesn’t want it I’m already tired

And another thing she just thinks he shouldn’t suffer for god she never said she didn’t think he should believe

But enjoy projecting your shit on her Morgan!

Lim is the only bitch in this house I respect

Honestly probably not bc Claire isn’t allowed to have anything either!

So we got Shaun talking abt Claire but in this way WHYYYYY

just let them be happy together I hate this

Clarie’s hair looks amazing

Claire is a hockey fan…the gay jumped out

What is Shaun doing I stan it tho

Oh NOW glassman will talk to him

Well I mean Shaun has been right abt like 90 other cases

Glassy you’re so fucking annoying remember when you were all abt helping Shaun lmao

HE HAS STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF AND THEN HE GETS IN TROUBLE YALL ARE TESTING ME

Shaun is so honest ixhxjsuswhhaa

Oh the loophole Jessica taught him well

Shaun that’s like…probably illegal but that’s okay

I wonder when the whole quarantine issue is gonna go down

Shaun yess now bring out those illustrations

Han is just gonna steal his idea pretends to be shocked

God these episodes kinda drag when you aren’t live-blogging and reading jokes

I know they’re married irl but she looks so young compared to him

Yeah lady he always pushes ppl away get used to it

Anyone else feel glassman has become intolerable this season?

Claire is so smart queen of religious studies

Okay this show isn’t going the route of Claire being converted or singled out as a bitch or bitter…we will proceed cautiously

Morgan is so fucking nosey you are loosing all the goodwill I gave you

Also just say atheist I’m screaming???

Ofc bc everyone who doesn’t believe in god is broken and empty and secretly hates themselves LOVE that for me!

I’m screaming the girl is like Oh Worm

Han is so annoying get a JOB

King of boundaries!

Are y’all gonna start shipping lim and Shaun now bc I’m not ready

Good work I’m still not gonna put u back in surgery tho

He’s so close to crying I’m abt to mcfucking loose it

Freddie is coming for the Emmy

Kinda wanna d*e

HAN JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP IM BEGGING!

Allistics have lost their rights

Wow it’s almost like everyone has weaknesses including you doctor Han and yet you’re still here

Can a show just have a charecter that’s not religious it doesn’t have to be like a THING I’m tired

Oof the cinnamon tography

SCALPEL I’m gonna cry can we get a flashback now?

Steve didn’t die for this

overall Thots: han can choke, needs more shaire, when will lea be allowed to talk to someone who isn’t shaun or glassy, claire deserves better, carly should have her own show, morgan is on the shit list again, park is still irrelevant…6/10

#the good doctor #the good doctor spoilers #long post #tgd lb

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assholemurphy · 6 years

Text

i am incredibly sad that i only have like, 1 extra adderall left (i may have to find somewhere to buy more from, since i only get like, enough for the month with my prescription, the only reason i had extras this month is bc it took a week for me to be able to get my prescription filled, so i literally had to go a week w/o adderall and i don’t wanna do that again, ever, it was hell, esp bc i ran out of sudafed, too, that week) bc holy fucking shit am i awake. i’m getting so much done. i took a shower and then highlighted all of the units in my script, which is usually hard to focus on bc it’s so dull, and i got another 15 units done, so i’ve only got like 30 left and i’m still wide awake and focused AF. like, i’m p sure that colors have smells, but also, like, the world is so intense and amazing. i feel fucking fantastic. i kinda wanna go skydiving, but like, not until i get my hw done, ya know?

but i’ve got 30 more units to do, then i’ve gotta make a graph, but after that, i’m done with the project and can move on. depending on how i feel/what time it is when i get that done (bc if it’s past 3:30/4a, i can’t sleep, i’ve got to stay up bc if not, i won’t wake up in time for class, but also, if i still feel this awake, then there’s rly no point to sleeping bc i won’t be able to, anyway) i might sleep, or i might start working on my playwriting assignment (bc that’s due mon @ 2p and i’ve got to write 6 1-min monologues for my characters) and watch the first 30min of shrek: the musical (bc i gotta have that done by fri @ 9a bc we’re watching it in class and that’s where we’re picking up at since the audio wouldn’t work in class, so it’s hw to watch the first 30 of it, but we can watch all of it, if we want, idk if i will, i’ve got too much to do and if i watch all of it, then there’ll be no point of going to class bc i hate rewatching things bc i’ve got a damn near eidetic memory for movies/books and certain other things, depending on how much i’m paying attention, but almost always books/movies unless i find them boring and don’t care abt them, so it would be stupid to watch all of it and then be bored in class), then maybe read some of after the fall (the script i’m pulling my monologue from for acting i) and do the assignment that goes with that (bc it’s due tues @ 9:30a). after that i should do my therapy hw (we’re still working on stuck points and i’ve got like, 5 more sheets, maybe more, to fill out) bc that’ll be due at my next counselling appt, which i think is next week, i’ll have to call them, but it’ll take abt an hour and it’ll emotionally drain me.

i think that’s abt it for hw, tho, but all of that’ll take roughly 9 hours, which means i def won’t be able to do it all tonight, but i can get most of it done if i don’t sleep, which means i’ll have more time for sleep/writing/literally everything else on the weekend. i might even be lucky enough to be able to get drunk. maybe. i’d have to start drinking at like, 3p and stop at like, 6p for it to all be out of my system so i can get to bed by 2/3a. so that’s a maybe. but a nice maybe.

ofc, i’ve got non hw stuff to do, too. i’ve got to make a list of roommate requirements so i can start looking for a new one (i’ve also got to talk to goldilocks to see when she plans to move out, bc like hell am i moving out, all the bills except her half of the lease are in my name and most of the furniture (aside from her personal stuff and the coffee table) is mine and i don’t want to have to move ALL of it out and into a new place, plus it’s her decision to not be roommates, so it’s on her, not me, and i won’t budge, not this time). then i’ve got to get my study/organization binder made so things’ll be easier to keep track of. i’ve got to do some cleaning (taking out the trash, cleaning up my side of the living room (we didn’t divide it, it’s just where the couches are so we stick to our couches most of the time) and the coffee table). then laundry, gotta do laundry, i’m almost out of socks.

ofc, i might have to start on my part of the second part of the group project. i wanna design costumes for the play, if neither of the others is doing that, which i hope they aren’t, bc i don’t know enough abt any of the other elements of production to do something else. but if i have to, i can try to do sound, maybe, that’s my second choice. so, i may have to start on that this weekend. i’ll talk to hurricane bianca and tim the toolman taylor and see what they’re doing for it probs on fri if not tomorrow at rehearsal. then i can start on my part and get it finished ahead of time to prove i’m capable, when i’ve got my shit together and am not having a breakdown every week. then, after i talk to prof j abt what i’m supposed to do for the show (something with finding times for freeze frames and spotlights, which is fun, but i’m worried my comdic timing isn’t the same as everyone else’s bc i’m autistic, so my sense of humor is a bit skewed, ya know? but anyway, prof j specifically told goldilocks (who is stage manager, i’m one of two assistant stage managers) to have me do it, so i’m afraid i’m being set up to fail bc i know nothing abt theatre, rly, and i’m always paranoid abt these things, but i’m also kinda thinking it might be bc she actually thinks i can do it, which sounds unrealistic, but she’s not a mean person, so i’m willing to bet it’s that one. but i need to ask her what all she needs me to do, bc goldilocks has no clue, which was so fucking helpful, what a great stage manager she is (no, srsly, idk if i bitched abt this earlier or not, but she’s absolutely horrible at this shit so far and i can’t stand working under her bc i hate working under incompetent ppl bc i feel it makes me look incompetent, too, if the job isn’t done right, even if it’s not my fault bc i wasn’t in charge and i’m always, always terrified to look stupid or incapable in the eyes of others). so, i’ve got to ask prof j abt what all i need to do bc i’m p sure the advice given to me by the lighting tech (who is apparently a decent stage manager, tho i doubt it, truly, she doesn’t have the personality for it, she’s too pushy and it makes her hard to work with, but that might just be bc i don’t like her as a person, so i’m reserving judgement until i see her in the position) is wrong bc it makes no sense, is way too hard, doesn’t actually help with anything and gives me a headache (bc mapping out the goddamn blocking is impossible when the actors do diff things every fucking night, wtf??? do the same shit, you assholes! but it’s also useless bc it doesn’t tell anyone where the spotlights/freeze frames should be, and blocking isn’t my job, it’s the other asm’s (who i don’t have a nickname for, but will probs have before the end of rehearsal) so why she’s not doing it, idk???) so i’ll ask tomorrow.

so, i’m looking at 9 hours hw now, then 30 min of cleaning, 3 hours of other paperwork shit, and potentially 4 hours of hw and 2 hours of theatre stuff this weekend. which means i can get at least 10 hours of sleep per night and get some writing done, if i finish most of my hw now. i think that’s worth one sleepless night. it rly is. so, here’s to hoping for at least one day off this week.

but if i don’t sleep, i’ll probs crash after rehearsal tomorrow night, unless i can convince my friends to come over and hang out, since they won’t be here this weekend and i kinda need their help making the roommate requirement list bc otherwise it’s just gonna be like ‘can’t leave time on the microwave after they’re done using it’ and ‘must know how to use headphones when others are studying in the living room’ and ‘must not whine when i want to stay in my room and do work instead of being around them 24/7′ (tho, goldilocks doesn’t spend much time with me anymore, which is fine, i guess, but it’s a complete 180 from what she used to do and honestly, i’m offended bc i caved and started staying in the living room and now it just feels weird not being in the living room and idk what to do abt any of this). i need real things, too, like, big concerns that i’ll forget abt when writing it, and i need to know if my requirements are petty or things that aren’t specific to most ppl, just goldilocks. and it’d be nice to hang out with them and shit.

anyway, this is rly long and rambly, but i rly need to vent all of this shit somewhere, it helps me sort my brain out. i don’t actually expect anyone to read it and you can always blacklist my personal tag ‘iz says stuff’ if you don’t want this shit on your dash. but if you do read them, then you’re always welcome to come to my inbox and be like ‘quit bitching and get back to work, dumbass’ or something.

#text #long post #iz says stuff #i'm gonna get back to work now #after i make a to do list (on paper not on tumblr)#so i can keep track of what i need to do #and then i'm gonna update my planner with what i need to do tomorrow #but then it's back to the units #after i take some fucking ibuprofen for my migraine (idk where my migraine meds are but i might be able to find them tonight)#bc it's coming back with a vengence #i think they're from not sleeping and from stress #i used to get them all the time #some of them were so bad i had to go to the emergency room #i hope they don't get that bad again #it would rly fucking suck bc i don't have a car/can't drive with a migraine anyway and i don't have the money for the emergency room #i think i'll talk to my dr abt it tomorrow #if i can remember to

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chickenfetus · 7 years

Note

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ????

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general?????????

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples:

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them???????

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual.

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me.

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual.

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good?????

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

#softshouyous #asks #if anybody actually read all through all of this.... thank u.#FALEN THAKNK U FOR ASKING I LOVE U

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biobliterator · 7 years

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@synthzander made a super cool post answering questions abt her OCs and I got inspired to do it myself too!! I’m doing it for my five current faves. this is taken from @the-moon-dust-writings‘s post here!

-OC’s full name? Nix: Phoenix Eleanor Nova Rex: Bartholomew Alexander Achernar Orion: Orion Vela Io: Io Justine Pleione Ceres: Ceres Altair (Orion and Ceres don’t have middle names bc Orion picked his own name and didn’t want one and Ceres just straightup doesn’t care)

- Where were they born? Nix: Greece Rex: Scotland Orion: uhh I’m not 100% exactly sure yet but somewhere in South Asia Io: idk man Ceres: Rwanda i think!

- What accent and language do they speak in? Nix: kinda a mix between English and Greek accents, speaks English, Greek, and a bit of French Rex: Scottish accent, only speaks English Orion: his accent and first language depend on where exactly he was born so i need to figure that out, but other than that he speaks English, Spanish, and French fluently, and many many other languages less so. Io: Io doesn’t “”speak”” but they can only use English Ceres: his first language is Kinyarwanda, altho he hasn’t had the opportunity to speak it for years. And he’s close to fluent in English!

this got super long so i’m putting it under a readmore from here! (also i accidentally switched ceres’ and io’s positions w/o realising fdkg)

- What flaws do they have? Nix: g od where do i even begin w this question. she’s manipulative and can be cruel. she wants her own way and she wants it now and she’s not afraid to go to great lengths to get it Rex: mm Rex isn’t developed enough to have significant flaws yet, but he has major attachment issues and tends to be lazy Orion: my boy is perfect wym he avoids all his problems and will always take the easy route rather than helping anybody out, also keeps a lot of knowledge of other people that would be better shared w certain others Ceres: Ceres is a difficult one tbh, but he doesn’t have any interest whatsoever in helping anybody who isn’t himself or very close friends, and doesn’t care if he hurts other people Io: Io,, also is difficult? they make things harder for other people but that’s not their fault. yea idk Io is developed enough either

- What are things that they are good at? Nix: she’s very good at social situations and cheering people up! she’s also good at painting, photography, cooking, and is a talented engineer (she smart) Rex: video games his one true love.....he’s also a talented socialiser and good to have around in stressful situations bc he’s calm and level headed, AND he knows how to survive in the wilderness. Orion: music!! he’s a v talented musucian and singer. other than that he’s rly intelligent and can memorise almost anything - which includes the entire high school musical script. also he somehow makes friends super easily without realising how Ceres: his academic strong point is most definitely history. other than that he has a quiet way of being comforting? he notices the people he’s close to and is good at figuring them out without asking. he’s also REALLY good w animals Io: Io is pretty damn brilliant at building robots!! and they’re curious and are good at researching things they find interesting

- What are their pet peeves? Nix: ppl not taking things seriously when they should, rly loud music, ppl who don’t research before talking (basically her pet peeves are everything abt her younger self lmao) Rex: not listening when he’s trying to talk, disrespecting others’ interests, sore losers Orion: talking over him, being the punchline, being unwilling to change little things for him, chewing w ur mouth open Ceres: he only has one!: every single person on the entire earth Io: not even bothering to try and understand their way of communicating, putting salt on things

- What is something they do not respect? Nix: ppl who talk down on her friends Rex: biting straight into the kitkat Orion: ppl who needlessly state their negative opinion Ceres: ppl who are mean to spiders Io: spiders

- Could they survive on their own in a forest? Nix: maybe?? as long as it wasn’t for too long Rex: yea Orion: quite possibly? he might have the knowledge but idk if he could put it into practise Ceres: fairly sure he could Io: no

- Are they social with others? Nix: very!! Rex: yes Orion: a lot of the time! Ceres: no Io: yea

- Do they have good social skills? Nix: yes Rex: yes Orion: ..sorta? Ceres: hell no Io: mm not really

- What is their deepest darkest secret? Nix: she’s not as caring as she tries to make herself out to be Rex: idk he’s a pretty open book Orion: i think he keeps a lot of things secret, but knowing where his sister is and not finding her is prob a big one Ceres: his entire past p much? he doesn’t tell anybody shit Io: i think that they feel guilt over their existence sometimes. they try not to show it bc they don’t want people to worry but they need near constant care and can be difficult to live with.

- Do they have a guilty pleasure? Nix: probably alcohol. she tries not to drink bc she has to be responsible at all times but damn does she wanna get drunk Rex: h onestly i feel like he would be into dolls and things but too embarrassed to share it Orion: eating all the ice cream. all of it Ceres: he rly likes anime... Io: they have secret social media accounts where they shitpost near constantly

- How do they express their feelings? Nix: in violent emotional outbursts or silent crying at midnight Rex: he does his best to hold it in at all times but sometimes he’ll just cry Orion: he wears his heart on his sleeve and has frequent meltdowns Ceres: he Doesn’t Io: very much phsyically. if they’re feeling something, you’ll know

- How do they react when they are proven wrong? Nix: depends. if she likes the person she’ll apologise and move on, if not she’ll just get Angery Rex: he doesn’t argue or shout unless he’s CERTAIN he’s right, so usually he’s in a situation where he can just say “oh yeah thats a good point” Orion: with confusion, mostly. knowing things grounds him, so its disorienting when he’s wrong Ceres: he’ll clench his jaw and walk away Io: [text] wot

- How do they mourn? Nix: she’s the Responsible One™ so she does her best to stay strong, but she’s very likely to lose control and resort to reckless activities Rex: loudly and angrily Orion: he withdraws and sabotages himself Ceres: he withdraws too, even more than usual. he’ll just...sit and stare at the wall Io: they don’t? understand? like when are they coming back? where did they go bring them back??

- When would they back talk someone? Nix: whenever she’s given the opportunity lmao Rex: only if they’re REALLY pissing him off Orion: not very often. probably only when somebody is talking abt his friends bc he can process that quicker Ceres: he wouldn’t. he just wouldn’t respond Io: when ppl aren’t listening to them (or whatever listening is through text)

- Do they gossip? Nix: YES and then feels bad about it later Rex: only if he knows it’s not harmful Orion: nah Ceres: no Io: lmao yes

- Would they ever be able to forgive themselves if they did something horrible? Example - Murder Nix: i think maybe? depends on the circumstances Rex: he cant even forgive himself for WITNESSING a murder when he was a kid :/ Orion: if he can rationalise it, yea Ceres: good question. the answer is i have no clue Io: i think so. it’d have to have been extreme circumstances for it to happen so they’d handle it

- Do they care about themselves or others more? Nix: herself unless it’s her friends (she has many friends) Rex: others Orion: others but he knows he needs to care abt himself more :/ Ceres: himself UNLESS it’s somebody he’s super close to Io: others BUT they’ll put their own needs first

- How would other OCs describe them? Nix: abt Rex - a solid friend. he’s safe and lovable and the one person who doesn’t depend on her abt Orion - so talented? she’s so proud of him and knows he’s gonna go far abt Ceres - after living with him for a while, he’s actually really sweet. you don’t notice him, but he notices you abt Io - the most precious lil bean!! she adores io even if they can be frustrating sometimes Rex: abt Nix - pushes herself way too hard. she needs to learn to relax so she doesn’t snap abt Orion - a good friend who he can have a real deep intelligent conversation with. lots of people underestimate him but rex knows he has a LOT to offer abt Ceres - hoo boy.....hoooooooo boy.......... abt Io - he struggles to understand io but he’s trying. the more he understands the more shocked he is at the kinda shit they text him

Orion: abt Nix - has no idea where he’d be without her, but couldn’t rely on her entirely. he’s thankful she introduced him to, and is part of, a solid support system abt Rex - he honestly loves hanging out w rex. he has so many interesting stories. while orion is more of a thinker, rex is more of a doer, so together they get up to a lot abt Ceres - ceres was the first one of them he met. he rly likes ceres. he’s a good listener. orion would like to learn more about him but he doesn’t want to push abt Io - what he loves abt io is how much they understand each other and can laugh about it. while the others definitely try, they don’t fully understand what it’s like to live as an autistic, but io does.

Ceres: abt Nix - he wants to trust her. he really really want to trust her, but deep down he doesn’t. she needs to fully and truly open up for him to trust her, but for her to do that he has to open up himself, but for him to open up he has to trust her..... abt Rex - complicated emotions. rex needs to learn how to not be taken advantage of abt Orion - persistent, but he’s grateful. without orion he doesn’t know where he’d be, and he really loves to hang out w him, especially as he’s one of the few people that doesn’t ask questions or make things awkward abt Io - he likes doing Quiet Things with io. like playing chess, baking, reading. io isn’t generally a quiet person, so he’s grateful they spend their quiet times with him Io: abt Nix - possibly one of the best people ever? while they adore their parents, without nix there’s a lot of things they wouldn’t have gotten to experience abt Rex - confusing. not the first person they’d go to in a crisis, but not the last either abt Orion - trouble buddy!! they get into trouble together a lot its great abt Ceres - needs to brush up on his chess skills bc they trash him every time but needs to ease up on his monopoly and poker skills bc they want to win ://

- How would your OC describe themselves? Nix: damn bitch you live here?? Rex: constantly just trying to fix his own mistakes Orion: existential crisis with a violin Ceres: reeeallly doesn’t know what he’s doing here Io: um?? the best Obviously ;)

- How would you as the writer describe them? Nix: nix is my eldest, and i probably have the closest relationship with her. she pushes herself too much and it only sends her backwards. she’s in a difficult position bc she has people that rely on her and they need her, but she needs to look after herself too bc she’s only gonna end up hurting the people she cares about, not to mention herself. but honestly? i love her so much. i admire her desire to go out of her way to help people, and to understand people, and i’m so happy she’s found herself a family that love her and she loves back. Rex: my boy has come so far. he’s the youngest of the group, but he’s still over a year old by now and he’s changed so much. he has such a genuine desire to make everybody happy, but like w nix needs to look after himself too bc he’s going to make himself sick. i hope to god someday he finds reason and purpose in his life and that he’s happy. Orion: such a shining light. i remember almost killing him off as soon as i made him and i’m so glad i didn’t. he has a power that draws people to him, and just seeing him smile could brighten any day. he deserves the world. i know things can be difficult for him, and people can be mean and say mean things, but he handles it so well and i am so proud that he’s found his family and he’s going to stick by them no matter what. they’re going to help him rise to the top and allow him to achieve his dreams, and he’s going to keep them with him when he does. Ceres: boyo...sweet boyo........this whole mess wasn’t his fault, no matter how much he believes it was. there’s no way he could have known what would have happened when he ran off w the promise of excitement and adventure. but yknow what it his fault? taking a chance and making a friend and it turning out w him having a family who’ll defend him to their graves. Io: my baby’s been through so much dramatic development recently, and is finally getting the attention they deserve. they’ve had a lot of luck in their life, and they’re starting to realise just how many things could have gone wrong so far, and the next step is realising that they absolutely deserve those things, and that they shouldn’t try and give things back out of obligation, but out of love.

- How well do they know their own limits? Nix: nix..knows her limits, but being a caregiver means she has to push them a lot even when she doesn’t want to. Rex: he doesn’t know his limits at all. he’s constantly finding himself at limit’s end and being unable to get out of it. Orion: he mostly knows his limits? sometimes he chooses to push them, but he’ll fight for his right to stay within them Ceres: oh nah he has no idea, and he doesn’t want to find out either Io: io knows their limits and refuses to have them pushed

that’s it and i just wanna say that if you read this far i admire your tolerance and i adore you

#this took me so so so so so so long to write #literally HOURS #pls read it i love my children #nix #rex #orion #ceres #io

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pirate-kid2k19-blog · 5 years

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Explaining the behaviors i grew up around to explwin why im like this. Started writing at 3:06AM and finished at 3:48AM

So basically in tennessee where i was born my uncle was an alcoholic pothead. We used to like plsy wrestle a lot and once i accidentally kicked him in the balls now obviously his natural reflex was to push me and i literally flew out that room so hard i nearly fell down the stairs. I broke my right arm. And i forgive him not just because he apologized but he stopped drinking because of that. He now only drinks on holidays or his birthday. Anyways, i grew up for 5 years around christians, witches, and 2 stoners.

my moms cousin was problematic af if he was famous twitter would cancel him harder than anyone else ever bc of this shit that traumatized me. Ill start with what only traumatized me for like 2 years, but then whatll haunt me forever.

So when i was 3, he was cleaning the cat litter. We had 4 cats at the time so there was a lot of shit in the litter. I was trying to get his attention bc i ended up with the room he used to hsve and i didnt want all the hotwheels cars on the wall, and i wanted to ask if hed take them down. Apparently i bugged him so much that he picked me up and put me in the trashcan w i t h t h e c a t s h i t l i t t e r wnd thats why i never went around big trashcans for 2 years.

Now im never gonna forget this. So he and my dad were having a small disagreement bc he did something wrong on a car they were trying to fix (they used to do that together) and well that turned into a full blown fight. Doors were broken, holes were msde in walls, amd my 3 year old self hsd to stand by the stairs and watch paralyzed by fear. Luckily my aunt called the cops and they stopped the fight before it got too bad wnd they were hurt n shit. But i will never forget watching my dad duct tape my kom's cousin's mouth shut and hearing the police sirens and seeing th lights outside.

Anyways, the people who owned the family home died and we had to move. My granddad on my dads side of the family let us stay 2ith. This dude names T.R. (im not giving out real names, but he used his initials as a nicknwme so we'll call him that.) He wasnt that bad of a guy, except for the fact that i developed insomnia due to not being abl3 to sleep til he went to bed at 5am bc of how loud he had his video games. We wouldve said something but we didnt wannw be rude and i think TR just dirntt think we could hear it. He couldnt real,y afford to take care of his dog with the job he had, and while my dad had a good paying job hed help take care of the fluffy chow he had. But after a while, we couldnt afford it either ehen my dad as unemployed and when we went to get him taken to the shelter to be put down (he was really old and miserable, he hardly got any attention bc 1 tr worked until nighttime 3very day just to afford rent and shit for him snd the dog to live off of, and 2 he was really skittish wnd an outside dog in a pen (though the pen was big enough for him and it had a roof and a little house n stuff, everything was just a bitndirty yeet) so he hardly got contact with people.) He kinda jumped out and ran away. He got ran over later on, sadly.

Once id been in georgia for about a year with an empty house next door (they were renovating it so ppl could live there and they wouldnt have to demolish the building since it was good on the outside and all that), my old neighbors/family friends moved in. This little autistic boy a year younger than me exactly (same day but he was born a year after me), his mom who laypter suffered an aneurysm and was paralyzed on all her right side, and her oldest kid mason who wprked at gamestop. You can tell what he looked like just ehen u think that he worked at gamestop and loved legend of zelda. Anyways, this kid and i hsd a lot of fun bc we hsd a lot in common and we both loved nsture and stuff like that. After abt 2 years, we uhh... did bad shit, we stole alcohol and got drunk n shit, hed steal his moms weed (it was illegal weed, she didnt have a card to get it for medical reasons at the time and btw this is after the aneurysm) and sell it to kids he met in the woods. See in the woods by my house theres a small-ish clearing where the property owners hunt and ride four wheelers n stuff, and we were all told we were allowed bsck there as long as the ppl who owned the property werent and we had to wear orange or bright neon yellow in hunting season in case they came bsck there thyd know it was people. This kid nearly got me to join this "gang" he called it. I was pure and innocent back then and said no bc in order to get in i had to cut myself (i had depression but not bad enough to wanna hurt myself or anything, and i hsd no clue wbt self harm or anything i was fuckin 8) and i just told them that me selling shit we werent supposed to hsve in school (candy/gum, slap bracelets, stuff that an 8 year old shouldnt have access to) was good enough for me. However, i wonder what happened to those kids. Theyre probably in high. School juuling in the bathroom lol. But anyways,this fuckin kid and i got drunk together a couple times when we'd sneak off into the woods and trespass n shit and after a while of not seinf each other, we got to meet sgain. I explained to him what being trans was and that i was a guy and he deadass just told me i already acted like one and he accepted me and called me a guy whenever we were alone (i wasnt out to my family yet). But then his house started falling apart and he moved and we havent seem each other in q year and a half. However, we might get to celebrate our next birthdsy together. We never got the chance to before and if i dont have company over next year on my birthday we might get to celebrate together :)

Some more shit abt this kid: he was the only friend i had up until fourth grade when i started selling art and being less of an asshole. And he knows more about me than any friend i have or used to have. Im the only person other than his mom who understands his memtal disorder so when my mom would babysit him i had to go over there after school in case something happened i could calm him. But uhh yeah this kid and i had some fun times and i hope i get to see him again soon. He still lives in the same city, just on the other side of the city.

About this area, basically im surrounded by woods and rednecks. Neighbors on the right are nice sweet old ppl the neighbors on the left are shady af and we in the white ghetto virtually. The hood is right down the street to the left and im scared to go there unless i was in public school on the bus or like if i had pepper spray lol.

Anyways im yoo tired to keep going gn.

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