#potion that turns you into a boar?
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Spelldon Monster High Custom
Once I saw that G3 Deuce had green skin, I knew I had to try my hand at making Spelldon Cauldronello.
I re-haired him and flocked the sides of his head with yarn to imitate dreads. I sewed him a jacket, shirt, joggers, and socks. I made his little potions (out of beads), earrings (also out of beads), necklaces, gloves, pointed ears (I wish I could have gotten them smoother, but they were so delicate that I could not sand them without them breaking), shoes (out of paperboard and papier-mâché), and repainted his face (my first full face repaint and daaang was that difficult to try and make his eyes and eyebrows look related to one another).
He’s not perfect, but he was super fun to pose and creating him was a HUGE learning experience (like to start sealing all of my thread knots with fabric glue).
You’re more than welcome to draw fanart/make your own based on mine, just tag me- I’d love to see them. Feel free to comment what you like/dislike think I should improve on. :)
Edit: thank you for all the sweet comments in the reblogs guys. You’re all making my day. :)
More under the cut
Close ups of his left side (I like how this ear turned out the best).
And his right side. I couldn’t get this side smoothed out to save my life, haha. Hopefully his earrings distract enough from it. Keeping beads from old bracelets come in handy! These were just the right size for him. I repainted the lower earring in black, with a stripe of purple, and added silver Ancient Greek designs on either side.
One more close up of his left ear and earring (I added a purple pentagram in the center of the silver Greek designs and the color shift sparkle paint around the rim). His upper earring is the same as his right lower earring, but has an orange stripe.
His face-up took awhile, but it is very rewarding to finally give him a face. I tried to make it look like the factory g1 monster high face up and took a lot of inspiration from his older sister Casta’s pupils. I gave him darker purple eyes, with the yellow/gold zig-zags. I gave him three moles, instead of just the one that Casta has, to mix it up a little. I did take a little inspiration from G3 for his eyebrows to add some orange and purple streaks in the front and a cut in his left eyebrow (I don’t know if that is still trendy, but I think it looks cool). The eyebrows are still not super symmetrical, but I already sealed it. I went back and forth on what I wanted his lip colors to be (I know I wanted something two toned) but finally decided on a dark purple upper lip, with a green outlined lower lip.
Also G3 heads are SUPER difficult to try and reattach (and remove) and have to be VERY squishy to put back on their bodies (even after I had trimmed down the neck peg).
Okay, onto his wardrobe! I wanted to imitate Casta’s color pallet: black, orange, purple, silver (and sparkles and studs), while bringing in more “witchy” themes (the buckles, stripe socks, and pentagrams), and his scaritage from his mama Circe (hence the potions, boars on his shirt and shoes, the greek vase designs and the boar designs being black on orange -like the Ancient Greek vases). Even on the Greek designs, I put some teeny tiny pentagrams (namely on his jacket sand socks).
His jacket took the longest (his shoes were the second longest). It is fully lined (the sleeves have a white lining to keep staining to a minimum), and working pockets. I liked the sparkly material I found, but does it shed like crazy (I used it for his collar, cuffs, pockets, and the bottom of his jacket in the back, and wrong side-out for his sleeves -they still have silver sparkles showing though and it doesn’t shed…but it will catch on things). I used thin ribbon for the outside of his pockets (next time I will fabric glue the ends shut on all my ribbons and a thicker ribbon for the bottom of his coat), and bent some wire into buckles. I also used ribbon wire and looped black thread over it to make it look like a zipper. I used fabric paint for the pattern down the front and REALLY hope it stays on there.
I really wanted a mesh back to his coat (I love how that part turned out), and then added this purple sparkly ribbon to his sleeves. He was going to have another pentagram in the back but it was too much (but it left a cool shadow of the star after I removed it).
His gloves are made of mesh and ribbon (with glitter fabric glue continuously added on top of each other, and then painted silver, to make the spikes on his knuckles -same thing I did with his choker and shoes). His nails are painted black with the same color flash glaze paint as part of his earrings.
Okay onto his main outfit without the coat (he’s much more fun and easier to pose without his jacket).
“Spelldon, please move your necklace out of the way, so we can see your shirt better, thank you.”
Close up of his wild boar and Greek vase designs on his shirt (done in fabric paint). I REALLY love how the boar turned out as I was SUPER nervous I was going to mess it up. Having a boar/Greek vase design on an orange shirt was also inspired by @spookberry ‘s design of Spelldon.
His necklace pendant was another bead I had (and it worked great for attacking thread too).
Side and back of his outfit (you can see some of that stray black glitter).
“‘Scuse me Spelldon, can you lift your shirt so we can see you joggers better? Thank you.” His joggers/capri’s and socks were inspired by @peppapigvevo ‘s Spelldon design. Once again I used ribbon, that sparkly material for his waistband and cuffs, and silver fabric paint for Greek vase design.
I attached a chain to his joggers and added these potion bottles (while Casta looks like she uses more magic spells and incantations through her singing, I like to think Spelldon uses potions -more like his mom). I made these potions out of wire, beads, thread and air-dry clay.
Onto his shoes and socks. I made the shoes out of paperboard and paper-maché. I wanted them to be boar themed while still having pentagrams and studs on them. They turned out a bit wonky (and a tad too long -but it helps him stand up, haha), but I spent too much time on them to redo them, haha. His shoe sole I also painted with that sparkle flash glaze paint too. I also gave him the striped socks, because I love striped socks and tights on witches.
“Thanks for holding still Spelldon, and being patient with me.” I’m going to make another post or two with comparisons with his sister, some of my other customs, and some vampire that claims he knows him or something, heehee.
Oh yeah! My sketches for him:
#spelldon cauldronello#spelldon#monster high doll#monster high dolls#monster high#mh#doll custom#monster high custom doll#monster high custom#spelldon doll#spelldon Custom#customsbyaleta
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Kingdom Come Deliverance Alchemy Recipes
This is a list of all the alchemy recipes in the game. There seems to be a lot of mistakes around as to what the different recipes actually require, this to such a degree that even the books in the game contains them, as well as the fandom wikis. I can't promise that these recipes are all correct, but they have worked for me, both when it comes to unlocking the recipes as well as unlocking the auto-brew option.
The first step of brewing starts with adding a base to the cauldron. This is a free ingredient at every alchemy station. They are: Water, Wine, Oil and Spirits.
When I mention boiling for a certain amount of turns, I usually define 1 turn as 3 pulls on the bellow, until the bubbling has once again stopped. Multiply this by as many turns as you need. Worth noting that you need to add 1 extra pull if the fire isn't lit or has gone out.
When you get the Trial And Error perk, it is also quite safe to stop boiling entirely, which makes the brewing process a lot faster.
Some of the recipes mention letting the mixture cool before continuing. I usually find it adequate to wait until the bubbling has stopped, but you can try to wait until the fire has gone out too if you are having problems.
Potions that are needed for quests:
Artemisia
Embrocation
Fake Blood (DLC)
Lullaby
Musk Of Infinite Allure (DLC)
Remedy For Merhojed
Recipes For Leveling Up Fast:
Bowman's Brew
Ingredients:
Spirits, 2x Eyebright, 1x St. John's Wort
Instructions:
Add Spirits
Add 2x Eyebright
Add 1x St. John's Wort
Don't Distill
Digestive Potion
Ingredients:
Spirits, 2x Chamomile, 1x Mint
Instructions:
Add Spirits
Add 2x Chamomile
Add 1x Mint
Don't Distill
Marigold
Ingredients:
Water, 1x Nettle, 2x Marigold
Instructions:
Add Water
Add 1x Nettle
Add 2x Marigold
Don't Distill
Poison
Ingredients:
Oil, 1x Thistle, 2x Herb Paris
Instructions:
Add Oil
Add 1x Thistle
Add 2x Herb Paris
Don't Distill
Regular Recipes:
Aesop Potion
Ingredients:
Spirits, 1x Wormwood, 1x Wild Boar's Tusk, 1x Comfrey. 1x Belladonna
Instructions:
Add Spirits
Add 1x Wormwood
Add 1x Wild Boar's Tusk
Boil for 2 turns
Grind 1x Comfrey
Add ground Comfrey
Add 1x Belladonna
Distill
Amor Potion
Ingredients:
Wine, 1x Antlers, 1x Marigold, 1x Chamomile, 1x Wormwood
Instructions:
Add Wine
Add 1x Antlers
Boil for 1 turn
Add 1x Marigold
Add 1x Chamomile
Boil for 1 turn
Grind 1x Wormwood
Add ground Wormwood
Don't distill
Antidote
Ingredients:
Water, 2x Thistle, 1x Nettle, 1x Charcoal
Instructions:
Add Water
Add 2x Thistle
Boil for 2 turns
Add 1x Nettle
Boil for 1 turn
Let Cool
Add 1x Charcoal
Don't distill
Aqua Vitalis
Ingredients:
Water, 2x Dandelion, 1x Marigold
Instructions:
Add Water
Add 2x Dandelion
Boil for 1 turn
Grind 1x Marigold
Add ground Marigold
Boil for 1 turn
Distill
Artemisia Potion
Ingredients:
Spirits, 1x Sage, 2x Wormwood
Instructions:
Add Spirits
Add 1x Sage
Boil for 1 turn
Grind 2x Wormwood
Add ground Wormwood
Boil for 2 turns
Distill
Bane Potion
Ingredients:
Wine, 1x Wormwood, 2x Belladonna, 1x Fly Agaric
Instructions:
Add Wine
Add 1x Wormwood
Boil for 2 turns
Let Cool
Grind 2x Belladonna
Add ground Belladonna
Add 1x Fly Agaric
Distill
Bard Potion
Ingredients:
Oil, 1x Nettle, 1x St. John's Wort, 1x Belladonna, 1x Charcoal
Instructions:
Add Oil
Grind 1x Nettle
Grind 1x St. John's Wort
Add ground Nettle and St. John's Wort
Add 1x Belladonna
Boil for 2 turns
Add 1x Charcoal
Don't distill
Bivoj's Rage Potion
Ingredients:
Wine, 2x Sage, 1x Wormwood, 1x Cave Mushroom
Instructions:
Add Wine
Add 2x Sage
Boil for 2 turns
Grind 1x Wormwood
Add ground Wormwood
Add 1x Cave Mushroom
Distill
Bowman's Brew
Ingredients:
Spirits, 2x Eyebright, 1x St. John's Wort
Instructions:
Add Spirits
Add 2x Eyebright
Boil for 1 turn
Grind 1x St. John's Wort
Add ground St. John's Wort
Distill
Buck's Blood Potion
Ingredients:
Oil, 1x St. John's Wort, 1x Comfrey, 1x Dandelion
Instructions:
Add Oil
Grind 1x St. John's Wort
Add ground St. John's Wort
Add 1x Comfrey
Boil for 1 turn
Add 1x Dandelion
Don't distill
Chamomile Brew (DLC)
Ingredients:
Water, 2x Chamomile, 1x Sage
Instructions:
Add Water
Add 2x Chamomile
Boil for 2 turns
Add 1x Sage
Don't distill
Cockerel Potion
Ingredients:
Spirits, 2x Mint, 1x Valerian
Instructions:
Add Spirits
Grind 2x Mint
Add ground Mint
Boil for 1 turn
Add 1x Valerian
Boil for 2 turns
Distill
Digestive Potion
Ingredients:
Spirits, 2x Chamomile, 1x Mint
Instructions:
Add Spirits
Grind 2x Chamomile
Add ground Chamomile
Add 1x Mint
Boil for 1 turn
Don't distill
Dollmaker Potion
Ingredients:
Spirits, 2x Herb Paris, 1x Valerian
Instructions:
Add Spirits
Add 2x Herb Paris
Boil for 3 turns
Grind 1x Valerian
Add ground Valerian
Distill
Embrocation
Ingredients:
Oil, 1x Poppy, 1x Valerian, 1x Eyebright, 1x Wild Boar's Tusk
Instructions:
Add Oil
Add 1x Poppy
Add 1x Valerian
Boil for 2 turns
Grind 1x Eyebright
Add ground Eyebright
Add 1x Wild Boar's Tusk
Don't distill
Fake Blood (DLC)
Ingredients:
Wine, 1x Poppy, 1x Thistle, 1x St. John's Wort
Instructions:
Add Wine
Grind 1x Poppy
Grind 1x Thistle
Grind 1x St. John's Wort
Add ground Poppy, Thistle and St. John's Wort
Boil for 1 turn
Don't distill
Hair O' The Dog Potion
Ingredients:
Water, 1x St. John's Wort, 1x Sage, 1x Mint
Instructions:
Add Water
Add 1x St. John's wort
Add 1x Sage
Boil for 3 turns
Grind 1x Mint
Add ground Mint
Don't distill
Lazarus Potion
Ingredients:
Water, 1x Valerian, 2x Comfrey
Instructions:
Add Water
Add 1x Valerian
Boil for 1 turn
Grind 2x Comfrey
Add ground Comfrey
Boil for 1 turn
Distill
Lethean Water
Ingredients:
Spirits, 2x Wormwood, 1x Belladonna, 1x Fly Agaric
Instructions:
Add Spirits
Grind 2x Wormwood
Add ground Wormwood
Add 1x Belladonna
Boil for 3 turns
Add 1x Fly Agaric
Distill
Lullaby Potion
Ingredients:
Oil, 1x Poppy, 1x Thistle, 1x Herb Paris
Instructions:
Add Oil
Add 1x Poppy
Boil for 1 turn
Add 1x Thistle
Boil for 1 turn
Let cool
Add 1x Herb Paris
Don't distill
Marigold Decoction
Ingredients:
Water, 1x Nettle, 2x Marigold
Instructions:
Add Water
Add 1x Nettle
Boil for 1 turn
Let cool
Add 2x Marigold
Don't distill
Moonshine
Ingredients:
Spirits, 1x St. John's Wort, 1x Sage, 1x Mint
Instructions:
Add Spirits
Add 1x St. John's Wort
Boil for 1 turn
Grind 1x Sage
Grind 1x Mint
Add ground Sage and Mint
Boil for 1 turn
Distill
Musk Of Infinite Allure (DLC)
Ingredients:
Water, 1x Sage, 1x Marigold, 1x Comfrey, 1x Cave Mushroom
Instructions:
Add Water
Grind 1x Sage
Add ground Sage
Boil for 3 turns
Add 1x Marigold
Add 1x Comfrey
Boil for 1 turn
Add 1x Cave Mushroom
Don't distill
Nighthawk Potion
Ingredients:
Water, 2x Eyebright, 1x Belladonna, 1x Cave Mushroom
Instructions:
Add Water
Grind 2x Eyebright
Add ground Eyebright
Add 1x Belladonna
Boil for 3 turns
Add 1x Cave Mushroom
Distill
Padfoot Potion
Ingredients:
Water, 1x Cobweb, 1x Eyebright, 1x Valerian, 1x Chamomile
Instructions:
Add Water
Add 1x Cobweb
Add 1x Eyebright
Boil for 3 turns
Grind 1x Valerian
Add ground Valerian
Boil for 1 turn
Grind 1x Chamomile
Add ground Chamomile
Distill
Poison
Ingredients:
Oil, 1x Thistle, 2x Herb Paris
Instructions:
Add Oil
Add 1x Thistle
Boil for 1 turn
Let cool
Add 2x Herb Paris
Don't distill
Preserver
Ingredients:
Oil, 1x Mint, 1x Nettle, 1x St. John's Wort
Instructions:
Add Oil
Grind 1x Mint
Grind 1x Nettle
Add ground Mint and Nettle
Boil for 1 turn
Add 1x St. John's Wort
Don't distill
Remedy For Merhojed
Ingredients:
Water, 2x Thistle, 1x Valerian, 1x Charcoal
Instructions:
Add Water
Add 2x Thistle
Boil for 2 turns
Add 1x Valerian
Boil for 1 turn
Let cool
Add 1x Charcoal
Don't distill
Saviour Schnapps
Ingredients:
Wine, 1x Nettle, 2x Belladonna
Instructions:
Add Wine
Add 1x Nettle
Boil for 2 turns
Grind 2x Belladonna
Add ground Belladonna
Boil for 1 turn
Don't distill
Witch Potion
Ingredients:
Oil, 1x Herb Paris, 1x Marigold, 1x Belladonna
Instructions:
Add Oil
Add 1x Herb Paris
Boil for 1 turn
Grind 1x Marigold
Add ground Marigold
Boil for 1 turn
Grind 1x Belladonna
Add ground Belladonna
Don't distill
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Feeding Alligators 19 - Bite Night
Astarion spills a little secret.
On AO3.
Astarion lurches back and onto his feet. Says something you can’t understand because you are rationing your last dirt potion. But this seems pretty goddamn important, so you reach for your bag without breaking eye contact. His gaze follows your hands, and even in the dim light from a dying campfire, you can tell his whole frame tenses. And then sags—less than an inch—when you pull out the potion bottle and unstopper it with your teeth.
Still tastes like ass.
“What the fuck,” you say.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Astarion says. He’s back up another three paces or so, hands still held up.
It looks like a man looming over you with his mouth fucking open. Are bath salts a thing here? Is he some kind of serial killer?
“What’s it look like?” you say.
“I wasn’t going to hurt you!”
“So, what, you just spend your nights breathing on us while we all sleep?”
“No, no. Nothing like that.” His usual smirk and swagger are gone. They’ve left someone with his ridiculous, poofy hair and the frilly ass shirt and the scaredest aura you’ve seen in a long, long while. When you don’t scream or try to kick him—his eyes track to your hands again—he continues. Winces. “I just needed a little, well, blood?”
You’re not sure that translates correctly. Then you’re not sure you heard it correctly. Because it makes no damn sense. Not at all. Gale is the cook, and you’ve never seen Astarion fucking around with potions—you’ve never seen Gale fucking around with blood in his potion brewing, but you brain makes that jump anyhow.
“Why?” you drawl.
He blinks at you. Seems a little taken aback, almost sheepish. Both at himself, and at you, for some reason.
His gaze darts behind you, to the rest of the sleeping party. He swallows visibly. “I…might have neglected to mention something about me. Not anything momentous! It’s just well, I might happen to be a…what’s the best way to put this. A vampire! Haha!”
The laugh comes out as this bright, theatrical giggle. Dude might as well be flashing jazz hands to go with it.
A vampire. Like…like fucking dracula? If it translated correctly. If your brain hasn’t started bleeding in your sleep as the worm hits some vital artery and this is the last, bizarre hurrah delusion as your cerebral tissues wither and die of oxygen deprivation.
“A vampire,” you say to see if it sounds like bullshit out loud and yep, sure does.
“Yes.” He still wears that fake smile. One that morphs as you watch. Twists into nervousness. “I’m not some monster, though. I feed on animals: boars, deer, kobolds. Whatever I can get. I’m…just too slow right now. Too weak.”
Boars. Like the one y’all found on the road two days ago. The one he just left there for anyone to see.
…you could have sworn he was smart. He couldn’t come up with half the shit he’s said to you without a touch of clever. But that seems so…amateur hour.
Then again, you come from a world with fifty-seven new murder podcasts a week, so there’s that.
“So like, ‘drink the blood of the innocent’, honest-to-god actual vampire,” you say. “That’s a fucking thing that exists here?”
“Gods have very little to do with it. Do you not have vampires in your realm?”
“No. Not, I mean. There’s people who call themselves that? But they just dye their hair and wear dramatic makeup and I think some of them actually do lick each others’ blood, but that’s how you catch hepatitis, so…”
It’s his turn to stare all baffled at you. He starts to open his mouth.
“They’re not like,” you say and gesture to him. “They’re just pretending.”
Red eyes and pale skin. You’d thought he was albino. Some kind of fantasy albino that could bask under the sun, because this is a whole different plane of existence and what the fuck do you know?
Looking now, he’s not the same type of pale, though. He’s more corpse-pale. And in the low firelight, as he’d loomed over you, you had spotted, you realize, a set of fangs he’s until now kept hidden.
Man is a fucking vampire.
“But you know what that is?” he says. “What I am?”
He keeps checking behind you. He was on first watch (…that explains so much right now; he always took first watch). Considering he’s kept the entire thing hidden until you caught him, you know, with his fangs over your neck, and considering the way his body language screams, you’re guessing he expects a strong, negative reaction.
“Maybe we should talk about this closer to your tent?” you say. “Y’know, out of earshot?”
It’s the second time he’s ever dropped his “smug bastard” look in surprise. At least that you’ve seen. His mouth even flaps a couple of times before he recovers and slides the Goblin Man persona back on.
“Yes, of course,” he says, sweeps one arm out to indicate “after you.” Seems to consider how vulnerable this leaves you and he sort of freezes. Must not like the idea of you at his back, either.
Well. He’s had plenty of time to slit your throat since you met. And he rolled back when you woke up, instead of lunging and pinning you and ripping your throat like some 30 Days of Night motherfucker.
You climb to your feet (fuck fuck! The burn! Why does your fucking scalp hurt??) and stagger past him like an arthritic grandma.
His footsteps follow a second later. You hear footsteps, which means he wants you to, so that’s likely a good sign?
You stop next to his tent, just at the edge of the dim glow of the embers, and give him the best look-over you can manage in the gloom.
“My people got all kinds of stories about vampires,” you say. “But they’re just stories, and a lot of them don’t match each other. I been saying we don’t have monsters or magic or all that. Just humans and other animals.”
“No monsters? At all?” he says. “How…quaint.”
“None,” you say. “So you’re gonna have to explain to me what this all means, and I’m gonna ask around later to make sure it all checks out.”
“Ask?” His voice goes hard and his entire frame snaps into harsh angles.
“Gale. About history. Monsters and such. I don’t know shit and everyone knows it. No one’ll find that weird.”
He watches you for a breath. Two. The muscles of his jaw work. Then he sighs all harsh through his nose. “I suppose that’s to be expected. Fine.”
And he explains. A “vampire spawn”, not a “real” vampire. Some fuckface named Cazador. He gives no details about his life, no emotions, only what you might call a wikipedia summary of what, exactly he is. But you can imagine a lot of horror around the words “puppet” and “slave.” You can imagine a lot.
“We’ll be in the swamp tomorrow to ambush this meeting you’re so curious about,” he says, moving on like he didn’t toss a psychological grenade into your lap. “If I need to fight, I need to get my strength up. And, well. I’m too slow to hunt at the moment. One too many ambushes, lately.”
“How often do you need, um, blood?”
“Oh, most days animals are just fine. I hunt most nights, but I can go much longer in between, if I need to.”
The tadpole shivers in your brain. You flinch, and notice Astarion do the same. It’s trying to mind whammy y’all. The connection flows between you, and you catch a sliver of cracked and quivering memories, of—
no no NO.
Of fear.
You slam it shut so hard the both of you stumble.
Fear. No.
Terror. The man is scared absolutely shitless right now. And he can go longer in between meals the way a human can technically survive a few days without water. You’d felt starvation chewing through his gut, an icy thing made of teeth chewing, chewing, chewing at him.
“Fuck!” you say and clamp a hand over your mouth.
None of the others stirs.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” you whisper shout. You’d felt it for less than a second and it had damn near turned your brains to scrambled eggs. You’re not even sure how the man is capable of standing upright, let alone using facial expressions and gesticulating.
A snarl tugs at his lips, even as his facial muscles twitch and you watch in real time as he smooths his expression out into a pleasant neutrality.
Motherfucker. This, he…this is so fucked up.
“At best I was sure you’d say no,” he says. “More likely, you’d ram a stake through my ribs.
You’ve demonstrated to god and country tonight that you literally do not possess the upper body strength to pull that off. Nor do you have a stake (he’d been watching your hands so carefully).
“No, I needed you to trust me. And you can trust me.”
“You put a knife to my throat the first time you saw me,” you say.
His smarm bleeds over him like a drop of water touched to a smear of paint. “Well, darling, it was quite a day. I’d been abducted and infected once already. I’m sure you can appreciate having a healthy amount of caution.”
He’s not wrong. If you’d found any weapons on the butthole ship, you probably would have pointed one right back at him. Had he not tackled you to the ground, anyway.
It was a fucking day.
You glance back to the others. Gale curled on his side with his toes peeking out. Shadowheart bundled into a ball with only her long ponytail to indicate she was anything more than a lump of bedding. Lae’zel on her back with one leg kicked up, for some reason.
“Have you bitten any of us before?” you say.
He makes a sound, one part smug, and one part wistful. “Darling, I’m good, but I’m not that good. You’d have noticed if I spent the night devouring you.”
You roll your eyes. “So what stopped you?”
“It seemed ill mannered to bite without asking. Present instance excluded.”
So he could have, but didn’t. Whether he’d actually considered it rude, or some other reason he’s not telling you (getting caught), y’all’ve been laying your necks out for the taking for days. He hasn’t been pulling a dracula and draining one of y’all slowly. He didn’t slaughter his way through camp in a feral blood rage.
And yes, you’re pretty sure part of that is the reason he’s tagging along with y’all anyway: security in numbers. Still. He can control himself, present instance excluded.
“Yeah,” you say. “Yeah, you been trustworthy so far. Mostly.”
“Thank you,” he says. For the first time tonight, the tension laced through him seems to genuinely crack and give. You think that’s the end of it, and almost turn back to your warm bedroll. But then he makes a hesitant gesture and you stop. “Do you think you could, ah, trust me just…a little further? I only need a taste, I swear.”
A taste…?
Oh.
Ohhh.
“My blood,” you say like a clever person.
“Not all of it! Just enough to get me back to top form. For whatever we find tomorrow.”
The vampire wants to drink your blood. That’s…
“Um,” you say.
Focus. You need to focus.
That hunger. Your own middle still shivers from the memory, and you’d only brushed his thoughts for a moment. You know hunger. Or thought you did (it seems a mewling kitten in comparison to the thing Astarion is carrying around). You wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And you donated blood back home on the regular. It’s just blood, right? Your body will make more, and the guy could use it.
But vampirism is a bit different from a sterile needle, and it has side effects in all the movies. You take a breath.
“Two questions. One, is this in any way, shape or form, going to result in killing me now or in the future?”
His face does something complicated before he answers, “Not at all. I don’t intend to take any more than you can handle.”
Your stomach flutters. This is batshit (ha). Surely y’all could bring him something still kicking in the morning? Go hunting for him?
You fold your hands so he can’t see them shake. “Second question: is this going to, in any way shape or form now or in the future, turn me into a vampire?”
The emotion in his next smile you can identify. Bitterness. His chin drops, casting even the faint shine from the embers out of his eyes and leaving them dark.
“I’m a spawn, not a real vampire, darling. My bite won’t do anything more than sip from that precious neck of yours.”
Okay. Right. Questions answered. You think he’s telling the truth? You hope he’s telling the truth. Sweet baby jesus on a pogo stick, this is the stupid idea. Stoopid with two o’s.
“Can you pass on any other diseases you might have?” you say because you still have a handful of braincells trying to do their job.
“That’s three questions.”
You stare.
He grins all fake; you’re learning to recognize it.
“D’you want my blood or not?”
He actually slouches as he rolls his eyes.
“Alright, fine. Not that I know of.” He holds one finger up to silence the next question forming on your lips. “I can experience side effects if I feed on something rancid. But as I’m dead—technically undead—I can neither catch nor spread mortal diseases.”
…sounds logical. Also sends a cascade of biology questions churning through your mind. Maybe he’ll let you ask, later? This’ll probably increase your standing with him, if no one else, and that’s a step towards proving you aren’t a total drain on camp resources (the fucking irony). Besides, it’s not your first donation, even if the form and function are vastly different (are they, though?).
You roll your head onto your shoulders. Shrug a couple of times to loosen the tension. Say, “Okay then.”
He actually backs up. Not a full step, just a surprised sort of shuffle. In the gloom, the dead fire paints his shocked expression in shades of orange and red.
“Really?” he says, and even he can’t hide the genuine surprise in his voice. “I…of course. I’ll not take one drop more than I need.”
You’re doing this. Good god, you’re doing this.
He seems to psyche himself up, too. Straightens and gives his shoulders a wiggle. His chin lifts, mask slides back into place. He says, “Let’s make ourselves comfortable, shall we?”
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#fanfic#astarion#astarion x tav#it's a goddamn isekai#i'm not sorry#no betas we die like men#tavstarion#plus size tav#demisexual tav#slow burn#feeding alligators fic
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whumptober 14 - bleeding through the bandage + Exhaustion
this is a short little astarion x Durge Drabble based off that time I almost died in the under dark
The Durge is my tiefling bard Votum, I’ll attach a pic eventually
Votum had been idly reading a book that he took from the myconid village. It had been quite a fight to get there, the Minotaurs and the bullette taking all of the party’s strength to kill. At least the book was interesting.
Noticing how late it is, the tiefling stood up, deciding to go to bed. However, as he stretched, he almost screamed in pain as a recently patched up wound that he got from being gored by a Minotaur tore itself open. Gently touching the wound, he could feel the blood seep into his shirt.
Despite his memory loss… Votum knew he'd been in a familiar scenario before. He’s seen his blood, and so many others, more times than he could count. Grabbing a few bandages, he took a few steps away from the main camp, the blood leaving small dots.
Chugging a health potion and ripping a chunk of gauze, the bard took the time to gently patch himself up, the method feeling like second nature to him. But, after patching up the wound, it bled through again, leaving droplets below him as the blood flowed.
Sinking down to the ground, he placed pressure onto his wound. If worse comes to worse, and he bled out, someone in the party could revive him.
Right…?
Could he trust them yet? He knew quite a bit about each. Astarion admitted being a vampire spawn, Gale revealed he could explode some time in the future, so on and so forth…
But they didn’t know much about him, their ‘beloved’ tiefling bard who was the first one awake after Alfira was “gored by a boar.” Seriously, could Votum have made a worse excuse!? Luckily, they had dropped the subject. But the bard wasn’t stupid, he noticed Gale’s and Astarion’s looks as he went out to bury the body.
It hurt even more, as Alfira herself had said she felt a kind of kinship with Votum, the two both being bards, and the same kind of tiefling. Yet he could distinctly recall her body writhing underneath him, as he watched the life leave her eyes. He could smell the sickly sweet blood of hers that he’d use to draw that stupid symbol on the ground.
Why they didn’t put the pieces together after seeing the clearly ritual-ring shaped blood splatter right where her lute was in the middle of eluded him to no end.
Maybe the group thought he was a serial killer. Someone who couldn’t even be reformed by the most determined of clerics. Maybe they’d allow him to die. Get sent back to the hells from which his ancestors were made. Maybe he deserved it. He was clearly a hideous monster, inside and out.
He briefly took his hand off of the wound to glance at it, wincing at the blood that coated it fully. He tried rewrapping the gauze again, the previous one having turned a dark shade of red. But the fuzzy condition of his brain caused him to drop the gauze, succumbing to the weakness that had seeped into his bones.
“Votum, darling- oh!”
He titled his head up, being met by a figure that he was 90% sure was Astarion. His… well, he didn’t know what to call their relationship. They were friendly, that much was true, but at the tiefling party, and their nightly escapade recently… Well, it was most likely a game to the elf. False affections and sweetened words to serve as a means to an end.
“Shit- I was a bit concerned when the smell of your blood woke me from my trance…” Astarion uttered, crouching down next to him to observe the scene. Votum most likely lost about two liters of blood. “Were you attacked? What happened?”
“Tore an injury from the Minotaur fight. ‘m fine.” He responded, trying to stand up to go back to his bedroll, but immediately falsified his statement about being fine, as he winced and immediately sat back down.
“Darling, your stubbornness has a time and a place, as you are quite literally bleeding out.” Astarion huffed, a hint of panic bleeding into his voice. “Come on, we’re going to wake up Shadowheart to heal you.” He says, trying to bringing you to support your weight against him. It’s quite difficult, as Votum is about a head taller than Astarion.
“Why didn’t you ask for help earlier? Last time I checked, you’ve repeatedly helped us with patching up injuries. You’re quite good at that.” He utters, practically dragging the stocky tiefling the ten feet back to camp.
“Didn’t want to bother anyone.” Votum mumbled, his exhausted mind unable to recognize how stupid that idea was. Astarion, on the other hand, was fully aware. However, he didn’t acknowledge it, merely letting out an amused sigh.
Lying down on his bedroll, Votum’s eyes slowly fluttered shut as Astarion went to get Shadowheart. The bard would have a lot to explain tomorrow.
#whumptober 2023#whump#whump writing#bg3 durge#astarion x dark urge#baldurs gate astarion#astarion#bg3#hurt/comfort#baldur's gate 3
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Thranduil and Josie Pt. 155- Josephine in Wonderland
Summary: Narcisse pay a visit. Things get catty for Catherine. Garrett and the Seelie Queen have a lengthy discussion. Is he seeing things? Josie experiences her own vision as does Thranduil. WWJD. What will Josie do? Will she see the truth this time? WWTD. What will Thranduil do? Will the Queen break through his heart again as the two get one step closer to each other?
*Warnings* language, angst, graphic depictions
Stories Stories Stories Masterlist
Narcisse had headed out that morning with his guards to check on Catherine, for he was relayed the message from the ones at her post that she was chanting and threatening black magic upon them and the warlock lord himself....and he was now at the point where he was ready to release Blaze to shut her up permanently, a freak accident that Charles couldn't blame him for, but the fact he brought Blaze there to begin with would be blame enough. Catherine was her own worst enemy, much like himself, and he knew she would eventually earn her son's full hatred, again, much like he would earn yours if you knew about Thranduil's concealed letter or that he knew your King was alive, or had been.
"Have my ears deceived me in hearing that even in confinement, you are breaking the laws of my lands with black magic rantings against myself and my men?"
Catherine sat on the damp straw scattered ground of the desolate dungeon, sweaty, dirty and hair of a bird's nest, as she turned to see the prim and proper warlock glaring down at her from the top of the stairs.
She turned away with a scowl, having no choice but to listen to him carry on while he pranced down the stairs like a cat.
"Are the accommodations not to your standards? Horse droppings, urine and the stench of death? I felt it only fair for you to share in the misery of what Arion suffered right there where you sleep. I gather it must be quite lonely as well. Would you like some company to keep you warm at night in this cold musty atmosphere? I am sure Blaze would be happy to oblige since he is only right next door, itching to come play a game of karma with you. It appears he has a nice hole started beneath the old wooden door."
"Oh shut up! That wretched beast taunts me all night, sniffing and snarling under the door. Are you really going to make me stay locked in here with him??? It will only be days before he can fit through!!"
"Why Catherine, do I detect the sound of fear in your voice? The voice you can never keep quiet? You no longer have the spell book nor any of your poisons and potions. Your ramblings are purely to get a rise out of me."
"And it worked, quite diligently I might add. I do not need that book, for my memory serves me well of the contents within it."
"Is that so?" Narcisse asked as he teasingly walked over to the tiger's door who had been huffing his hot breath under it since the warlock lord's arrival.
He bent over and extended his arm down, dangling his fingers at the small opening. Blaze immediately began sniffing and snorting at them, then his salivating sandpaper tongue slipped out to lap Stephane's fingers, making him chuckle.
"Yes my friend. I am happy to see you too and I have brought you a treat."
Stephane glanced over at Catherine, who's eyes widened, thinking he was referring to her and then he opened a small bag he had brought with him, pulling out and unwrapping what appeared to be the hind leg of a wild boar. He then began to unshackle the door.
"What are you doing??!!" Catherine shouted and ran behind a pile of straw bales, as if that would protect her.
Peeking out and trembling, she watched and listened as Narcisse commanded the big cat to back up and lay down. The 600 lb gentle giant did as ordered while Stephane offered him some head and chin scratches. A soft rolling roar of love escaped his carnivorous mouth, for large cats of the wild could not purr and then Narcisse stepped back and dropped the meaty treat at the cat's enormous but deadly paws.
Blaze went in for the kill, grasping the carcass with great force and sinking his razor like carnassial teeth into it while Catherine shivered at the sight.
Narcisse then came out and secured the door. With a sly grin, he turned to the cowering Catherine.
"Just a little glimpse of your fate if you keep pissing me off, for I will in fact release Blaze as I have had enough of you. It would be wise for you to hold your wicked tongue from now on. In fact, you should be as quiet as you possibly can, for Blaze is not all there is to fear out here near the dark forest. I am sure you are aware of dead bodies that have been piling up, courtesy of a very hostile Harker and you...well...are simply a sitting duck. Wolves like ducks. Now, I have more important things to tend to. I will try and make it back before Blaze finds his way in and tears you limb from limb."
Stephane proceeded up the stairs only to be stopped by Catherine's malicious words.
"You will not silence me. You will pay for this and so will that whore of a widow...oh that's right, she in fact is NOT a widow, now is she??"
Narcisse could not contain his pent up rage. His eyes began to change, pupils constricting to a state of miosis as he pounced from the stairwell and landed in front of Catherine in his true form. The white tiger, a rare vison only few have witnessed.
He prowled forward as her screaming image reflected in his predatory eyes, until she was backed against the wall. Catherine's legs shook so bad that her knees buckled and she fell to the ground on her stomach, only to look up to see the mammoth monster crouched down, inches from her face.
She was frozen, her eyes locked into those of a demon as he bore his even larger incisors than Blaze's. The deathly roar consisting of scorching peppermint breath blasted over her face, singeing the tiny hairs upon it as the atrocious cat aggressively wagged his tail about.
"Ok ok I will not tell her or harm her!! I swear it!!! I just want my son!" Catherine shouted and cried as she buried her face in the ground, covering her head with her hands and curling into a fetal position.
All went quiet and she opened one eye to look out. She caught sight of Narcisse's black leather boots and followed them up to see Stephane back to himself, leering down at her.
"You will never have him!" he snarled and continued back up the stairs, locking the door behind him.
"No!!" she screamed and ran after him, beating on the door profusely. "I want my son!! I want to see him now!!!"
"Stephane!! Just let me see my son!!!"
Catherine could then hear the horses leaving and she snapped, beginning to bang her head against the thick wooden door in a fit of rage until she collapsed.
Garrett awakened from the prior night's whiskey stupor, cringing at the sunlight shining in on him as he laid upon the tilted couch. His immediate thoughts were to try and find another way to end his existence, for surely Amara's protection mark didn't make him entirely invincible.
As his stomach growled for blood, it became his first idea, that he would starve himself, for he couldn't fathom the animal blood he was living off of anyways.
He went into the candlelit kitchen to pour himself some hair of the dog and as he did so, a woman's voice spoke from the table behind him.
"Whiskey verses true blood?"
Garrett spun around so fast, the glass in his hand went flying through the air as he jumped back against the counter, clinging to it.
"Fucking christ...Amara!!! You can't do that shit to a vampire! You damn near shocked my heart into beating again!" he shouted in panic to the Seelie Queen who now was in the form of a grown woman, a very provocatively dressed grown woman that slightly resembled you with her long copper locks.
"It is one of the choices you are deciding over instead of physical death, is it not? To become human again?"
"Well...I have thought...wait...how the hell do you know that? And...how did you get in here without me sensing or hearing you??"
Amara smiled and stood up, standing almost as tall as the 6'5 vamp. Garrett's eyes widened and a slight gulp rolled in his throat as he watched her come face to face with him.
"Or...with you..being...so...t...tall." he added as he cautiously eyed the teeth that he once witnessed turn into those of a great white shark and mutilate an apple. The sound of that bone crushing crunch still haunted him.
"It's simple really. Magic and faerie blood. No others can detect my kind, that is of course with the exception of those that are like us. Height does not matter and should not be mocked, especially of myself. How was it that you put it daylighter? Short...faerie ass? Also, Amara and Annabelle may begin with the same vowel, but they are two very different names."
"Ahh yes, about that umm. Youuuu are definitely not short...now. Wow, your birds sure sing like canaries don't they? Look...I had a reeeeally bad night alright?" Garrett snipped and went to get another glass.
"Yes, I am aware, which is why I waited until now to arrive. Consider yourself fortunate that I like you Roman, for such mockeries, even if caused by poor judgement of an impaired state, would not have ended well for another." Amara claimed with a smile smiled, revealing her Nosferatu like daggers.
"Ahhhh! Jesus..." Garrett shouted and zipped backwards to the other side of the kitchen, dropping the second glass. "I'm sorry alright???? Can you just...please put those things away? You've made your point....pun greatly intended."
"Very well. Apology accepted."
""It's not like you can kill me anyways. I've already tried, but I'm sure you knew that." he huffed and marched back to get one more glass.
"Yes. I can actually... and I am aware that you have attempted it."
"Are you? Are you even aware of what I am going through? I am a vampire. FIRE should kill me...but guess what...epic fail! Watch this..."
Garrett stormed outside, located the gas can and dumped some on his bare arm, then pulled the matches from his pocket and lit it.
"Yep, nothing to see here. Just a vampire arm on fire."
He then patted it out and tossed his arm in the air. "Look. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Not one burn, bubble or singe. The only thing I get from it, besides being utterly pissed off, is smelling like a freaking lawn mower."
"That's because you are special Roman. You can walk among the light which is a rarity for one such as yourself. Why do you think your maker chose you?"
"Uh hello...I'm not special. I've been marked with some omen! Like Damien Thorn and now I cannot die or even be harmed. I drank dead man's blood for fucks sake. I should have withered up like a prune, right down to my bones. And what does Craven have to do with any of this?? He wasn't a daylighter and besides...dude's dead. You know? Like I would like to be...for REAL. Take it off. I want the mark gone.....please."
Garrett's 'please' was a defeated and sincere whisper as his eyes glistened of tears.
"I...I don't want to feel this pain anymore. Just let me go Amara. I serve no purpose. Not even to..... I'm a monster. I'm the thing that shouldn't be...and I certainly did not choose this life and I certainly don't want it."
"But you do serve a purpose. You...."
"What? To be your daylighter rockstar?? There's plenty other musicians out there that can play music for you. Hit Lestat up. He's pretty damn good and can also walk in the light. I don't even want to sing anymore because....christ, it don't even matter."
"The vampire Lestat does not have your spunk and will that I so adore. He's quite boring to be honest, for I cannot lie. You rid the world of evil, just as you tried to do as a human. That is a purpose. Your human skills and your fire sign were carried over with you. A sign that also means a king, in which you are and were meant to be. That is why you can walk among the sun. The sun is fire. You...are fire."
Garrett began hysterically laughing. "My skills?? I couldn't even save my own sister and I damn near killed my brother because of the life I lived. I was bad then, I am bad now. THAT is what was carried over. Just ask..... forget it...I'm thirsty."
Garrett went back inside and this time, he just picked up the bottle and drank from it.
"You will not be able to starve yourself of blood. The hunger instinct will take over eventually, so it is futile to try. You have the power to heal others Roman, because of the losses you have suffered. That is a purpose in itself and yet, you wish to waste it. Three times now, you were going to reference to someone. It wouldn't happen to be the same someone you shared the life saving kiss with, now would it? The one who is the real reason for all of this."
Garrett's eyes fell and he sat the bottle down. "She...she saw me. The real me. I...I can't deal with that..."
"We all have a dark side, even your Josephine. You have seen mine."
"Yeah...and I'd prefer to never see that again thank you very much...So, you can imagine what she must have thought when she saw the monster inside of me."
"Did you ask her what she thought? You did not. Instead, you ran away like you always do. You do not give that kiss enough credit. The vines knew the truth. Even she knows the truth, even when she fights it. Did you ever stop to wonder if your purpose is really...her...per se?"
"If that were the case, she wouldn't have chosen Narcisse."
Garrett turned back to the bottle and resumed the consumption.
"What choice did you give her?"
Garrett spun around, now angered. "What the hell do you now about love anyways? Did you really come here to badger me about my love life? For I have none. The only thing I have ever been to her is an option. Respectfully, your twisted vines are full of shit."
Off he stormed, back outside to stare at the open wilderness, his stomach pleading with him to go hunt and his mind wanting to release his frustrations, for the whiskey just worsened them.
"If it is any consolation, I know plenty of love and will soon have a king myself. I am also a fan of Rosie." Amara proclaimed as she followed him once again.
Garrett's eyes rolled before he turned around to face her. "Rosie??"
"Yes. Roman and Josie combined. I'm a big fan of portmanteaus...and true love."
The vampire chuckled in confusion. "So you're telling me, you are actually rooting for her and I to be together?"
"I am. But that can't happen while you sit here and wallow. She does not love Lord Narcisse. If any one was merely an option, it was him."
"Yeah well...so who is this new king of your anyways? Anyone I know?" Garrett deflected, giving a curious grin.
"That will be revealed all in due time, just as many things will be. With that said, if you want your one true love, then go and claim her before it's too late. Your best option would be to make her one of you."
Amara thought of Legolas and King Thranduil as well, knowing he was alive. You would surely return to Thranduil and that kept you in Legolas's life. She wanted you far away from the Prince, for she knew how he felt about you. Although she was well aware of the Elvenking's mental return, it would not be enough to fend you off. Garrett's only chance to keep you as his, was to turn you, for Thranduil, she believed, would not be able to accept you as the filth he viewed all vampires and even dhampirs as and would then despise you without the force of the goblin king. Simply, you were somewhat of a thorn in her side that she wanted gone and Garrett could make that happen with one little bite.
"Too late? What does that mean? I can see that dark side of you that you mentioned is quite real. Have you lost your mind?? I would never do that to her...not again. I promised. Not unless she were dying and could not be saved. She has a child!"
"You will see soon enough what that means if you want her heart to belong to only you, for your love is unconditional, unlike others. You have broken many promises to her, have you not? And she has always forgiven you."
"Umm no offense but...you're mad....like Dr. Evil mad. This isn't promising to do the dishes and not doing it, this is life changing Amara! She would hate me and I couldn't handle that. You know...you actually have just helped me to make up my mind. Josephine has the power to make me human again...and that's what I will do, so I can go away, back to my old life and she can move on. Simple as that."
"Is it? Simple? What makes you so certain she would even do it? What makes you so certain that YOU would even do it? How will you explain your 20 year absence to those you knew you and the fact that you have not aged? How will you simply adjust to a world of no magic, no power and without the one you love?"
"Wait...I won't age to 53?"
"Your body died at 33 years of age. It does not know time. If you are returned to solely a human, you will remain as you are, only dull and boring like all Mundanes are."
"Alright...then...I'll just relocate somewhere else and continue living in solitude like I am already used to. I don't have to see my brother or old friends. Ryan didn't care for the man I had become anyways."
"And you'll die. Maybe not right away, but slowly, you will of loneliness and of heartbreak."
"I am already dying slowly inside of those things. At least I'll be able to fulfill my wish of ending it all if I still choose to do so."
"No you won't. You see, the mark of protection I have placed on you, will not even allow you to become human again, so the point is moot."
Garrett's red eyes glowed mad as a hatter. "Are you fucking kidding me??"
Amara glanced off into the distance, as if she had heard something.
"I must go now. I am being sought out...about you. You really should go home Roman. Josephine needs you. The winter solstice is coming soon and it brings great evil with it. You will be grateful for that mark."
Amara disappeared into the breeze right before his eyes, leaving the vexed vampire frazzled and fuming.
"Wait...what???!! You can't just say that and leave!!"
Again, Garrett stomped back inside, not knowing what to do now. Was it you seeking her out about him? Were you looking for him? Were you in trouble? Did you....miss him? One thing he knew for certain, now more than ever...the Seelie Queen was completely bonkers. Like, Alice in Wonderland bonkers.
"Josephine??? Can you hear me baby?" he called out as he heavily paced all around, finding himself now in one of the bedrooms. "You gotta tell me little one. I can't always see and hear you. If you need me, just say it...just say the word."
Silence filled his mind as he paced about, faster and faster until one of the small planks on the floor gave way near the bed and popped up, almost tripping him.
"What in theeee holy shit balls??"Garrett quipped as he saw a shoebox inside the opening.
Down to his knees he went, pulling the small box, covered in cobwebs, out of the dark space, cringing as he frantically shook his hands to get the sticky spider traps off of him.
"Grrrrross. Not today Charlotte." he whispered as he slowly opened the lid.
Garrett was floored by your cherry scent, literally, as it hit him in the face and sent him plopping onto his butt. Inside were three things.
A silver ring that held a ribbon shape, one that was used as a symbol for cancer. He knew you once believed your dad was dying from that but Garrett could feel it, that this meant something else. The second was a deck of tarot cards and on the back of the case, written in ink, was the word....Sarah's. Finally, the third object was a photograph of two girls, young teens, one with red hair, one with blonde, wearing similar dresses. The only difference he could see besides the blonde's silly nose ring that he always comically called a bull ring, were the color of the long locks and the hues of the eyes....and the eyes of the redhead's were....yours, only green instead of the blue Thranduil gave you.
Garrett smiled to see your smile once again, but then it faded as he gazed at the image more and more.
"This...is the Sarah you spoke of?" he once again whispered to himself. You had told him of her, but only the basics.
"Why on earth do you both look like sisters? Twins in a way...even. And why...did you have this hidden Josephine?"
Garrett's thumb happened to be right on the image of the blonde girl as he was staring at yours, wondering what this all meant, or if it even meant anything at all. As he pondered, something forced his now softened blue eyes to travel to the one he believed to be Sarah....and her lips moved.
"Help me." a soft faint voice squeaked.
"Whooaaaaa!!!" Garrett blurted out as he scurried back across the floor, dropping the photo.
Lightly panting as he gaped at the still picture before his feet, he slowly moved back and picked it up again, his eyes big as golf balls, but nothing happened this time.
"Jesus...I seriously need to eat before I lose my mind like the mad queen."
Garrett put the items away and then headed out in search of true blood, that being of human, for Amara was right, his hunger instinct was kicking in and hallucinations were one of the many shitty side effects of such deprivation. It was time to think clearly and try to connect with you.
You wandered through the dark forest, lost and becoming confused, for it was simple to find Amara's portal when you had been with Garrett and Legolas, but now you were alone and vulnerable to the evil enchantment inside it's boundaries. Clearly, you were in the Seelie queen's Wander Woods. You recognized it from when she took you and Garrett there, so you knew you were close.
Every little sound made you gasp and spin around, just waiting to see the hideous hell hound of Harker, biting at your heels or above in the dead trees perching like a vulture, ready to swoop you up, but you were prepared for him with a nice dose of wolfsbane in your pocket, mixed with silverbane, two great enemies of witches and werewolves. At most, it would keep him from shifting and render him powerless, giving you enough time to kill him. Hopefully, he wasn't even there at all.
You called out to Amara in your mind, just as you had been doing for a good hour now. Surely she had to know you were there. The mad faerie knew everything. Was she avoiding you because of Harker? Would she even help you if he were there? Because she swiftly split the last time he was present. One thing there was no question about though. You were going to kick Garrett's ass for this if you ever saw him again, for he was the only reason you were there.
An eerie breeze broke through the crowded lifeless timbers and suddenly, you could sense her. with the beauty she displayed on the outside, one would think she would smell of something invitingly fragrant like roses per se, but she was far from beautiful underneath the magical image she projected. Her true scent was something you could only describe as ammonia, an odor all would steer clear of but not all could smell her. From what you had noticed, elves certainly could, for you remembered Legolas blinking a lot as he neared her kingdom and had kept his distance while in her presence....and you...had Thranduil's blood in your veins.
You followed the throat, nose and eye burning air until you came to a bend on the barely visible pathway. There, you saw the stone gateway that led to her realm.
In your excitement to enter and be free of what you considered far more threatening than her world, you began running, only to begin tumbling down a concealed rabbit hole large enough for a human.
"Uuuugh!" was the only sound able to come out of you as you hit the damp dark underground, flat on your stomach. You turned on your back, trying to regain the air that was knocked out of your lungs and focus on your surroundings.
As you looked up to where you fell, you could see a dim light coming through the giant hole that was covered in tree roots all the way down. You turned about to further see you were trapped. The hole was wide but it went nowhere.
"No...no..no this is not happening. Focus Jo, you can get out of here." you told yourself out loud and closed your eyes, trying not to hyperventilate. It may have been a deep and wide space, but it felt like Peter's locked dark bathroom in the cabin....and you were certain there were spiders too.
The anxiety was squeezing your chest as you tried so hard to fly out, but nothing was happening. You hadn't a clue how to make it happen again like you did the night of your drunken birthday party. As you thought back to that moment, you recalled your emotions were on overload and you had desperately wished to fly, so that had to be it. Your emotions mixed with your will...they made you strong, you told yourself as you tried again. That's how you could always conjure the weather. That's how you saved Haldir.
Still nothing, no matter what you did.
"Why??!!" your shout echoed up the hole. "Why can't it just be natural??!! This is what I was meant for!!"
Giving up, you began clutching onto the dead roots to climb your way out. You made it only a few feet when your ankle was grabbed and entangled but the not so dead roots after all, yanking you back down to fall on your hands and knees.
You cowered up in the center of the ground, wrapping your knees to your chest as you began to rock and pant, your eyes darting frantically about....and then the panic set in. Your eyes planted shut and you began to plead...plead for your King.
"Thranduil!!! Take me away from this awful place, I beg of you!!!"
The only thing that then forced you to open your eyes was the scent of lilacs. Gasping, you saw a vision before you. The elven gates of Mirkwood.
Springing to your feet in disbelief, you began to walk in. In a moment of fear, you glanced back, only to see yourself still curled into a ball, rocking back and forth, but then the lilac breeze drifted over your face and through your hair, calling you back to the path.
You continued on, lightly trembling, through the tree carvings of antlers until you came upon the statue of Thranduil's mother, Carandolel, covered in vines. The only thing visible was her beautiful face, but her look was so sullen, just as Mirkwood was, for the dark forest was growing with disease everyday due to Sauron's shadow.
The Elvenking walked about through his gardens, taking in the beauty of it all, something he had not yet had the chance to do since his return. It was much needed, for it seemed to be the only thing that made him feel at peace over the war between his heart and mind.
He soon found himself at the bridge and waterfall where the two of you united in marriage. Did his subconscious bring him there? for he denied it to be intentional...or was it?
Thranduil stepped upon the bridge and froze, envisioning the moment when he first saw you being brought up to him by Legolas. As he continued over the bridge, his fingertips tracing along the rail, his keen ears twitched, causing him to gasp and turn. Your voice had been heard in the distance, calling for him, even over the loud crashing water. His nose flared as he picked up your scent in the gentle breeze that wisped through his platinum strands. Was this real? Had Legolas returned you to him as ordered? It couldn't be. It was too soon.
The curious king had to know, for he knew he did not imagine it. Not this time. Off he went, following your cherry fragrance into the murky woods.
Your steps were careful as you walked by the enchanted waters, your eyes and ears cautious of the spiders and other dangers that lied within the sick forest. Your emotions were mixed of both fear and happiness, for you were finally home, but you were scared of the pain it would hold. The surroundings were becoming familiar, for it was where you had entered that fateful night, running from Peter. You still had no idea of how you had ever made it that far in the dead of the stormy darkness, especially now knowing that you had been tracked by the dark elf lord Malsin.
Twigs snapped from behind you, just as they did that night and your reaction was no different. Off you ran, your heart racing faster than your feet, your panting loud and heavy as your red cloak flared out, flapping in the wind. Your wide eyes searched for the sight of Thranduil's halls as his scent grew closer.
It was deja vu all over again as your clumsy feet tripped over something and down you went, face first. The snapping twigs were heard again, but this time, right in front of you. You were now shaking so bad as you slowly drew your eyes up. There in front of you, almost at your fingertips, were a pair of black leather boots and draped around them flowed a sliver sequined robe. Were your eyes deceiving you? Had the black puddled waters that one of the boots stood in, splashed into them upon your impact, causing you to hallucinate?
When your vision became crystal clear, instantly you knew the boots, the robe but all you could do was slowly push your hand through the wet gravel and touch the tip of them with your fingers to make sure it was real.
The smooth warm feel validated that they were, in which it startled you so much that you sucked your hand back under your chest as you gasped. The boot also swiftly slid back and a gasp was also heard from the one who wore them.
Your shaking was now out of control as your eyes climbed up the figure's body to eventually meet the befuddled blue eyes of your living and breathing king, Thranduil.
You slid so fast up to your knees, that your hands scraped through the sharp stones, cutting them, but you felt nothing but the pain of your vision.
"Is...are...this can't...Th...Thra...Thranduil??" you stuttered in pattern to your profuse shaking.
His sparkling moonstone eyes gazed down at you in pure shock, so wide you weren't sure how they remained in their sockets, for to him, you appeared ghost like...but to you, he..was the ghost.
"Josephine....." he softly whispered, barely audible, as nothing but his lips moved.
Stumbling to your feet as if you were drunk, you tried to speak, but nothing came out. Had you died in that hole and were now finally with him on the other side? or were you dreaming the entire thing? Alice in Wonderland maybe? and he was the white rabbit? for he shined so bright.
Instead of speaking, you did what you have longed to do since the day he left, you bolted into his arms, burying your face into his chest, crying your eyes out as you inhaled his scent from his satin hair. His heart, you could feel it rapidly beat against your cheek.
Thranduil himself, could not move, for he didn't know what was happening, but what he did know was that he it was a feeling like no other, the warmth of your petite body against his and he had to touch you, he wanted to touch you....to know you were real.
His arm raised up and he softly placed his hand on your shoulder, releasing a tremulous gasp as he did so. All of his control was gone and he brought the other arm up and around your back, gently caressing it, trying to calm your quivering.
"Is...is..is it really...you?" you muttered into his hair.
Thranduil's mouth hung slightly open as he gazed down at your fiery hair, trying to find the words.
"Yes...it is I...my...my...love."
You gasped and flung your head up, tears streaming down your cheeks as your glistening eyes met his, that danced all over your face in astonishment.
'I...I..I never...thought I...would see you..again...I..."
All you could see was his beautiful heart shaped parted lips and you no longer wanted to speak. Your arms slid up around his neck as you pushed up on your tippy toes and you pulled his lips to yours.
Both of you forgot to breathe for a moment, and then he exhaled heavily and took your mouth deeply into his as he cradled the back of your head with his now shaking hand. You thought your knees were going to give, for that was how weak the kiss made you, but his other arm secured you firmly against him, holding you tight as his tongue then found yours. Slowly and softly, they danced together, his sweet taste melting in your mouth like cotton candy.
He momentarily separated his lips from yours, then angled is head to the other side and took you in fully again with such passion, lifting you from the ground. You were now safe in his arms, your feet dangling in the air as you breathed life into each other.
As the sweet kiss slowly ceased, Thranduil expressed the most loving smile and then...he did it...his own special term of endearment that was only for you...he stroked the back of his fingers down your cheek.
"I...I want to stay with you forever my king. I do not want to go back."
Thranduil went to speak, but he did not get the chance, for you were suddenly ripped from his arms, even as tight as he was holding you...you were being pulled away by an invisible force.
"NOOO!" you screamed as you frantically clawed the air, reaching for him.
"Josephine!!" Thranduil cried back and tried to grab your hand...but then, you were just gone.
@redeemer46
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#lee pace#king thranduil#thranduil and josie#thranduil#the elvenking#thranduil fanfiction#love stories#fantasies#fairytales#magic#witches#warlocks#vampires#garrett twilight#vampire fanfiction#seelie queen#craig parker#narcisse#fantasy fanfic#dark stories#dark fiction
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Happy Valentine's Day! Let's Speedrun CBT to Celebrate
here's the route that I used to kick astarion in the balls in three seconds flat (source: just trust me dude) without using any major glitches
please note that i'm doing this run on balanced difficulty. if you for some reason wanted to do this on tactician, you'll need to pick up extra explosives. you can run the gameplay sections in explorer if you really want to, but you'll need to make sure to set it back to balanced whenever you need to multiclass
first up we have character creation. technically speaking a githyanki wizard is more optimal, but i went with a dragonborn sorcerer bc they have infinitely more rizz
look upon my technicolor sons and weep
anyway, you'll want to be a brass or red dragonborn for the fire resistance (just trust me for now). for your cantrips, take friends, minor illusion, mage hand, and fire bolt. for spells you'll want to take two of enhance leap, feather fall, and fog cloud, and then you'll pick the draconic ancestry that gives you the third. take the soldier background for the proficiencies (sorry durge enjoyers, less sceleritas = more time save) and then max your str and cha scores, putting the +2 into str and the +1 into cha. set your dex to 14, your int to 10, and everything else to 8. finally, take proficiency in persuasion and arcana (these should be the default selections).
the nautiloid section is pretty standard for a nmg speedrun; bunnyhop your way through, kill the imps in the lae'zel room as fast as possible, prep dashes before the zhalk room, etc etc. two things to note: 1) transfer lae'zel's stuff to your tav and yeet her off the side of the ship, and 2) triple dash (ie dash, enter turn-based mode, dash, enter combat, and dash again) before the zhalk room if you want to loot the mindflayers. you don't strictly need to loot them, but it will affect your invis potion routing in act 1.
once on the beach, you're going to jump your way to the wreckage and up the cliff face to avoid the intellect devourer fight. make your way over to astarion's spawn point, making sure to kill and loot the midflayer on the way (ideally you get a speed potion here, but it's not strictly necessary—more of a failsafe against fuckwuckies of your own design). recruit our beloved vampling and immediately ungroup him.
now bunnyhop your way towards the grove and up the cliff where the harper cache is. you're aiming for this bush (see below) to skip the grove fight cutscene trigger, but since we won't be returning to the grove, it doesn't really matter whether or not the fight actually starts or magically resolves on its own. jump up to the skeleton with the guidance amulet and then back down to where astarion's drained boar will appear.
now you're going to take two long rests without using camp supplies. on the first rest, thank astarion for offering to keep watch, and on the second, pick the death option that tickles your fancy. while at camp, grab the mask of the shapeshifter and the potion of hill giant strength from your camp chest. if you do not have access to these items, you will either need to route your way into the blighted village and goblin camp without being spotted (technically this is the optimal way, but i don't care to learn the pathing, plus free xp) or talk your way in and pick up the potion from derryth later on.
anyway, leave camp, examine the boar, and enter the blighted village disguised as a drow. once you've unlocked the waypoint, teleport astarion there, and have him pick up the antidote from the apothecary's house.
you'll have noticed that you've finally made it to level 2. take a level in barbarian for yourself, and save astarion's level in case you need to reroll a shop.
briefly group back up with astarion and bring him over to the barn that grukkoh and buthir are getting it on in. let him open the door. put that barbarian level to good use by intimidating grukkoh into not fighting you lol.
note that you can grab the boots from the windmill basement at this point for some added safety in the gith fight later. otherwise, ungroup yourself from astarion and jump your way over to waukeen's rest. grab the waypoint before entering through the roof. break the broken door with fire bolt (from a distance so you don't get thunderdomed onto the ground floor) and then quickly enter the room with the hamarhraft chest, grab the chest, and get the fuck out of dodge. if you didn't loot the mindflayers aboard the nautiloid, you may wish to save florrick, but it's not strictly necessary.
go back to the blighted village and start heading south. tell auntie ethel that none of this shit is your problem so she does her own dirty work. keep heading towards the waypoint very importantly: make sure you pass the arcana check to break the illusion. once you have the waypoint you can go back to the blighted village.
from here you have to options: take a long rest and do the rest of act 1 bloodless or be very careful not to accidentally start a conversation with astarion. you need the approval you get from the bite scene.
either way, drink the elixir of hill giant strength (if you have it) and make your way to the goblin camp disguised as a drow. get branded by priestess gut and lure her to her chambers. in the meantime, level up again, this time taking a rogue level for expertise in athletics and persuasion. then go and sell your extraneous belongings to roah. with luck she'll have two invis potions (if so, buy them both) (and maybe a speed potion), but it's likely she'll only have one and you'll have to buy a second from derryth.
now, you'll want to head into priestess gut's chambers. lure her over to the chasm with minor illusion and either push (if she's close enough to the edge) or throw her in. grab the key before heading into the room with all the explosives. pick them up and send them to camp.
if you passed the check to see the secret tunnel into the defiled temple, disguise yourself as a small race and use it. otherwise use the key and stealth past polma.
grab the selunite outpost waypoint. if you don't need to worry about shop rerolls, send astarion there. have him take a level of cleric (subclass doesn't matter) with devotion to elistraee. cast feather fall and enhance leap on him (or you if you need the rerolls (or are just stubborn lol)) before grabbing phalar aluve and jumping to the myconid colony.
your dialogue choice at the colony doesn't matter, just don't provoke them. send your other character there once the waypoint is unlocked.
within the myconid colony you need to grab the boots of speed, the boots of stormy clamor, your second invis potion, and the speed potion (and the hill giant strength potion if you don't have that). if rerolling the shops: give astarion a second level in rogue and a level in cleric. give thulla the antidote you picked up from the apothecary's house. then speak with blurg and have him bring omeluum over. decline any help. have astarion cast guidance on himself and cast fog cloud over blurg and omeluum with your beefy BALLCRUSHER tav. have astarion try to pickpocket the boots from omeluum until he succeeds. immediately send him elsewhere.
now you're going to head over to the beach waypoint. stay on top of the planks before reaching the waypoint so you don't have to deal with gekh and co. once you reach the waypoint, stealth, jump to the closer dock, jump to the second dock, and board the ship. use the [branded] dialogue option to enter grymforge.
once inside grymforge, beeline to sergeant thrinn. wait for the scrying eye to fuck off, and then yeet her into the lava. the ideal case is that she dies immediately, in which case you drink an invis potion, loot her body, and move as far away from your ghost as possible. if she doesn't immediately die, move towards the rubble and then onto the ledge before drinking the invis potion. there are two npcs in this fight who will use detecting presence this turn, and those are drar, who cannot reach this position (though obviously if dalthar goes before you it doesn't matter all that much) and mind master dunnol (but only if he's right by the lava when the fight starts). once combat is over, grab your spoils and leave the area.
take two (or three if you've yet to see the bite scene) don't bother with camp supplies; you should get a free full rest from the dream visitor cutscene. group up with astarion and grab two smokepowder and two firewire barrels before you teleport to the riverside teahouse waypoint.
take a moment to relax and harass some ""sheep"" (say baa at them twice). you earned it.
now have astarion cast sanctuary on both himself and you. you may wish to make a safety save in case things go south here.
confront gandrel, and let astarion choose violence. best case scenario: gandrel runs around like a chicken with its head cut off and you can place the barrels safely around him before detonating them. if, however, he's hellbent on using special arrows, you can reload and pickpocket them off of him before starting the fight.
you should, at this point, have 40 approval with astarion. talk to him and agree to fuck him later. long rest and do the do. don't bother with camp supplies, even if you got your ass handed to you by gandrel.
come morning, ungroup yourself and go to waukeen's rest. from here, make your way to githyanki patrol. make sure you take the upper path. ignore all the warnings, and (while in stealth (and with feather fall active)) jump from the far end of the gate onto the path to mountain pass region behind qudenos. ignore another warning and proceed.
during the forced long rest, respec both yourself and astarion to full sorcerers with your original stat spread and cantrips. keep your original bloodline, but give astarion white. take enhance leap, feather fall, and a third first level spell that you'll swap out for knock. take invisibility as well. your metamagic choices don't matter apart from needing subtle spell on astarion and twinned spell on one of you.
before leaving camp in the morning, grab one smokepowder and two firewine barrels. disguise yourself as a gith, jump to esther, steal the bag behind her, initiate trade with her, sell her her backpack back to her, put the graceful cloth and the periapt of wound closure (and also all her gold) in it, and then barrelmancy her to death. reap your spoils.
now jump to the creche. seriously don't even bother with the lift; jumping across the chasm is like half a minute faster. use the side entrance to get in. don't bother with knock on this door bc the dc 10 check is pretty free with the graceful cloth and guidance.
once inside, make your way to the inquisitor's chambers by utilizing the [githyanki] dialogue options. DO NOT TALK TO THE INQUISITOR. instead, cast fog cloud on the elegant chest to the left of the entrance and use the cover to yoink the gloves of belligerent skies.
at level 4, take whatever cantrips and enhance ability (on you) and chromatic orb (on astarion). give yourself the magic initiate wizard feat for the longstrider spell and give astarion an asi.
head back to the trielta crags waypoint, cast invisibility on yourself, and jump to act 2.
once inside the shadowcursed lands, you're going to grab a torch and then proceed to ignore the convoy. instead, jump your way to the ambush site. make yourself known to the convoy and convince them to give you the moonlantern and fuck off.
now head to moonrise, making sure the now-dead convoy doesn't spot you as you approach. teleport astarion in at the waypoint and regroup. go to straight to araj and make astarion bite her. if you still don't have the speed potion, check araj's stock. ungroup and have him buy ne'er misser from roah. equip him with ne'er misser, the boots of speed, the periapt of wound closure, and phalar aluve.
send astarion's twink ass over to the mausoleum. make sure you sneak past (technically over—you should jump directly over his head) raphael so you don't trigger his deal. go through the mausoleum, take the elevator to the sharran temple, and take the mushroom path to the left of the light puzzle.
at the bottom of the mushroom path (read: cloaker room) there's a locked door. cut this down with phalar aluve. keep heading straight until you enter balthazar's antechamber. here, you should make a detour to unlock the gauntler of shar waypoint. go back into the antechamber and use knock on the door to the right. grab the callous glow ring and send it over to your tav. make sure to re-enter sneak mode. cast knock on balthazar's door using subtle spell. then, jump over the reconstituted marksmen's sight lines so that you're in front of the door. dash, enter turn-based mode, dash again, and then open the door (and quickly un-crouch so you actually enter the battle).
on your first turn you want to get out of melee raneg of any of balthazar's goons, send at least four magic missiles right at balthazar's face, and then light as many of the candles around the room as you can.
pass turn and swap back over to your beefcake. teleport to the moonrise towers waypoint, head to the left of the front entrance and jump up onto the scaffolding. climb up the ladder, and you should be met with two doors. use knock on the one on the right. enter, lockpick the chest at the foot of the bed (dc 14 is pretty free with guidance and cat's grace), read the letter, yoink the cape for extra drip, and teleport back to the waypoint.
it should be astarion's turn again by now. with any luck, he took a hit to the face and is on death's door. if not, make sure to provoke an opportunity attack as you bring him just beyond the stone door that separates the antechamber from the waypoint. use chromatic orb to make a damaging surface, and step on it.
pass turn and switch back to tav. go through the main entrance and straight into the ketheric cutscene. don't try to save minthara, and let the goblins die. loot fezzerk's body for a bomb. at this point astarion should be down for the count, but if he's not, send the bomb over to him and have him throw it at his feet to speed up the process.
bring your tav down into the prison to where minthara is being held. cast minor illusion to lure one of the questioners away. then cast fog cloud on minthara. speak to her as if you helped her and offer to sneak her out (big shoutout to delph for this strat). throw an invis potion at her and leave through the docks exit. have her jump to her freedom and then tell her where to find your camp.
in the meantime, head back up to where z'rell is and get balthazar's bedroom key from her. unlock the door connecting it to the inside of the tower and use the lever to unlock the exit to the outside.
now head back to camp. drop the hamarhraft chest on the ground and use knock to ope it. speak with minthara and have her join your party. respec her at withers to have two monk levels (stats don't really matter here) and four rogue levels with the mobile feat. equip her with the ring of absolute force, the callous glow ring, the gloves of belligerent skies, the boots of stormy clamor, and hamarhraft.
now you'll send your tav to the gauntlet of shar. path over to where nessa is waiting for you. instead of following her, jump through the broken stairway to the door that leads to the verge of shadows (this one is finicky but i promise it's doable). create a second level spell slot using sorcery points and then cast knock on the door to unlock it. grab the waypoint and head back to camp.
once both balthazar and astarion are dead-dead, revive astarion at withers and take two long rests. only use camp supplies for one of them. make sure on the second rest you pick dialogue options 1 then 3 (then mash 1) so you don't accidentally break up with astarion.
now head to the verge of shadows and progress the plot. dame aylin gives people who said "fuck shar's trials" a buttload of timesave and doesn't make you prommy not to kill her. free her and go to moonrise towers.
at moonrise towers let jaheira know that you're not there to kill her. do not add her into your party. do not go through the front door either bc jaheira quite likes dying in this fight. instead, go back to that scaffolding you used to break into ketheric's room earlier. go through the left door into balthazar's room this time.
while in here, cast longstrider on minthara and invisibility on all your party members (one of your sorcerers will need to use twinned spell). make sure that the boots of speed and phalar aluve are equipped to your tav. go straight to the rooftop.
on the rooftop, use the [persuasion] option to talk ketheric down. once combat starts, stand next to minthara and use your tav to throw your potion of speed so that you're both in the splash zone. activate the shriek and stand so that sussy baka is inside it. with minthara, step of the wind: dash, cunning action: dash, dash, and dash. focus down sussy first, then the necromites, then ketheric and his war hound. make sure whoever's getting stomped is also actively being shrieked.
ketheric likes to not take stomp damage, so aylin will likely end the phase. in the event that she does this while you are frightened, quicksave and quickload bc for some reason, this status is quasi-infinite and won't tick down if ketheric isn't nearby.
level yourself and astarion up to level 6. take haste on one of you and fly on the other. have astarion swap out chromatic orb for daylight.
jump down into sphincterland. run over and purge zevlor so we don't have to deal with his artful nude later and then beeline for the boss arena. you don't need to use the tentacles of relaxation but you can if you want some safety. if you don't use them, take a short rest so you can use shriek again.
inside the boss arena, you're going to cast haste and enhance leap on minthara. use shriek and then immediately set up a triple dash with minthara. dash with yourself while in turn-based mode. and trigger ketheric's dialogue. persuade him to give up. you may wish to make a safety save.
once phase three starts, move yourself into position, have minthara jump over to aylin to free her, and jump myrkul to death with your remaining movement. make sure you grab ketheric's armor after the battle.
upon returning to moonrise towers, recruit jaheira into your party, jump over the aylin/isobel cutscene trigger, and make your way to act 3. don't bother talking to minthara; it's more convenient if she's not in the party for the gith fight.
at the pre-gith camp, give the potion of everlasting vigor to jaheira (have her drink it), alongside ketheric's armor and shield, phalar aluve, and either the boots of speed or the speedy lightfeet if you grabbed them.
respec jaheira as 6 champion fighter (17 str and 16 dex necessary) with the alert and athlete (str +1) feats. take a level of rogue for athletics expertise and a level of war cleric. prepare sanctuary. long rest.
generally what will happen here is that jaheira will be first up in initiative. you'll jump up between the two goth on the upper level and dash to the portal. if, for some reason, your tav goes first, feel free to style on everyone by casting enhance leap on yourself and jumping to the portal.
inside the astral prism, you're going to cast fog cloud on the ledge to the right of the ongoing fight, stealth everyone, jump them inside the cloud, and sneak them over to the skull. here, you want to cast fly and haste on jaheira and sanctuary on yourself and astarion. prep dashes if you desire, but you really don't need to. start the fight and yeet the gith into the beautiful void of space.
long rest. enter rivington. jump as fast as you can out of rivington. fuck rivington.
once in the lower city, switch over to astarion. give him reaper's embrace while you're at it. jump over to the lower city central wall waypoint, ascend the tower, DO NOT PROVOKE THE CHARMED GUARDS, and enter the vampire den.
beeline to the lower level. upcast a third level armor of agathys, don reaper's embrace, and use ne'er misser to delete the door that necrotic energy is leaking out of. read the dictionary (ideally without dying) and head over to the kennel. doff your armor.
switch over to your tav. send them to camp. grab two smokepowder and two firewine barrels from your chest and send them over to astarion. recruit minthara.
have astarion cocoon godey in explosives (it's what he deserves). retreat to safety and nuke that motherfucker. grab the signet ring off his twice-dead corpse.
head now to the ballroom door. unlock it. cast invisibility on yourself and proceed to the dais. descend.
now that the waypoint is unlocked, bring the rest of the party in. make a detour to grab (and read) the black mass scroll (just mash 2 through the dialogue). sneak past sebastian's dialogue and into the ritual chambers.
here, you'll equip jaheira with the boots of speed and reaper's embrace. cast haste, enhance leap, longstrider, daylight, and sanctuary on minthara. have jaheira use shriek and then sneak over to cazador to start combat with a surprise round. MINTHARA AND JAHEIRA ARE THE ONLY TWO PARTY MEMBERS WHO SHOULD BE IN COMBAT.
this is the easy part. just goombastomp everyone to death.
once everyone's dead, ascend astarion and then sneak out of the dungeon by jumping to the room below vellioth's chamber. use knock on the door and ascend to the sewers.
long rest. just keep yes, and?ing astarion until he tells you to get on your knees.
reap the fruits of your labors.
pov: you romanced some guy called THE CASTRATOR
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Hope greets us on the way out the door of the Archive.
"I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS AND WORST NEWS."
The words are spilling out of her, vacillating wildly between low whispers and screaming. "Good news! You got what you came for - successful visit, great success, fantastic work! Bad news - so many things will be on fire when you step outside this room. YOU INCLUDED! That's okay though, right? It's Hell! You expected it to be hot!"
She leans forward and bellows up at him, "WORST NEWS RAPHAEL IS ON HIS WAY HOME AND OH BOY OH BOY HE IS SPITTING MAD!"
Hector flinches back in spite of himself. None of this is unexpected, but Hope's panicked air is starting to become impossible not to absorb.
"But you planned for this," she goes on hastily, her fingers twitching. "I know you did. You have everything under control. IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU DON'T PANIC EVEN WHEN YOUR EYES EVAPORATE FROM THE HEAT. Come to my prison, bring the Hammer, break my chains. And then we exit stage ANYWHICHWAY."
That is literally the only thing Hector wants to do right now. "I'll be there," he says firmly.
"QUICK AS A COCKROACH LICKETY SPLIT IF YOU DON'T MIND!" she screams, and vanishes.
------
As promised, things outside are now considerably more... flamey.
Everyone here is now hostile. Most of them (except the Hell Sphere) have reasonable health pools but fighting them causes them to explode and turn into a "Vengeful Hell Boar" which has even more health:
So maybe we just make a break directly for the prisons and forget about the combat. DASH ACTIONS FOR EVERYONE! (Poor Jaheira is the only one in our group who can't doubledash so I gave her Karlach's Misty Step amulet so she can keep up. XD )
This was kind of a messy process to be honest. The locals apparently explode after a while and become monsters even if we don't attack them, and they do nasty conditions like "Infernal Hellfire" and "Hamstrung" which slowed progress considerably. And unfortunately this wasn't like the gith attack at the start of the act; we had to get everyone to the hatch, not just one person.
Made it eventually, though. I do have a short rest left to play with but ended up just having everyone chug health potions. If this is a back to back battle with the Spectator and then Raphael, though, this might get a little tense if we can't rest in between.
"You really went and did it, didn't you?" says Hope eagerly, bursting into being next to the prison entrance. "HA HA HA HA HA-- the whole house is tumbling down, and Raphael's striding across the planes to come catch a mouse!" She waves her arms wildly. "Now swing that big beautiful Hammer, crack open my chains and let's get out of here! IT'S TIME TO FLY THIS COOP ON A HOPE AND A PRAYER!"
(A/N: Given Hector's character this could easily have been a very deliberate sort of pun about him specifically, which I love. XD )
"Any advice when it comes to fighting Raphael?" Hector asks her.
"DON'T!" she snaps at once. Then, more quietly, "But if you must, make sure I'm with you. He makes mistakes when he's angry, and seeing me running free will make him as angry as an axe-head."
Are axeheads particularly angry? Hector wonders with bemusement. He glances over his shoulder at the others, waits for them all to nod their readiness. Then he takes a step forward and pulls open the prison door. "Let's do this."
"YOU SOUND SO BRAVE BUT REALLY WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!" Hope wails, and vanishes.
Hector reflects privately that that sentence could really sum up his whole life lately.
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Ok so, None of my 7DS stuff is on hold or anything, but I've kinda been on this Owl House kick lately...
And of course I've got an AU going on in my head, cuz that's what I do.
Now this is kinda different from how I handle my 7ds au, in Reborn Fairy I try to keep my self-insert from interfering with canon at much as I possibly can, and technically it's kinda like that in toh too...until you get to the Day of Unity. Then we take a hard left directly off canon.
See with this character she wasn't reborn into the owl house universe, she just fell through a portal so she's got all her foreknowledge of events from having watched the show irl. So she very intentionally avoids effecting "the plot" up till the day of unity where she totally destroys the plot cuz like... Personally I didn't like how the show ended. Like don't get me wrong, Watching and Dreaming was a great episode and Titan Luz is super cool and anything that gives Raine Whispers more screen time is a plus in my book, but I just... didn't like the consequences? Like it's just not my cup of tea, so I made a new one :p
But anyway, the plot of the AU is actually not what I want to talk about. What I want show you guys :D is what I added to the Boiling Isles. Y'know just some world building to flesh it out a little cuz we didn't get to see that many locations across the whole of the Isles. And also... so I could insert my favorite 7ds characters into it!! :D Cuz that's also a thing I do! So it's not like a crossover, cuz these are like alternate reality versions, but I just couldn't help myself!
I added 3 locations, each with their own schools. We saw in Thems the Breaks, Kid that there are schools besides the big three so.
Glenohiem - A city on the Titan's right shoulder. Having the largest concentration of plant coven subsidiaries due to the area's biodiversity, the buildings are largely made from the living plants. It's home to The Quiverthorn Institute of Magic and Naturopathy(Quivertorn for short).
Humeroid Valley - A rocky, largely barran settlement on the Titan's left humerous. Many of the demons that live there are big and/or have scaly, rough hides to deal with the environment. The main school in the area is the Lady Calcifeine School for Witchery. They have a Grudgby rivalry with Quiverthorn.
Graciville - A city on the shore on the Titan's left inner thigh. Home to Humstrange Academy, one of the lesser known schools on the Boiling Isles who's Spelling bee team has a rivalry with St. Epiderm.
And I did mention that there's a little bit of 7ds tossed in here so I guess I should list this universe's versions of the characters.
We've seen that witch/demon hybrids are a thing so I made a hybrid species that's witch and fairy demon that are very common in Glenoheim, pretty much just so the fairies in Glenoheim aren't tiny :p
Harlequin(Illusions) and Elaine(Plant) - a brother/sister pair from "Glenoheim". Harlequin is just as adept at plant magic as illusions, but "Quiverthorn" is still working on multitrack integration. Harlequin's palisman is a bear and Elaine's is a butterfly
Helbram(Plant) - Harlequin's best friend from "Glenoheim". He is just as adept at illusion magic as plants, but "Quiverthorn" is still working on multitrack integration. Palisman: treent
Meliodas(Potions) - Student body president at "Humstrange Academy". Palisman: Dragon
Elizabeth(Healing) - A student from "St. Epiderm" and Meliodas' long distance girlfriend. Their parents hate each other. Palisman: Flying Pig
Ban(Wild) - A drop-out-turned-wild-witch from "Glandis High". Palisman: Fox
Escanor(Potions) - a lion-like demon from "Humstrange Academy" and a member of the student council. Palisman: Manticore
Merlin(Oracle/Wild) - Top student from "Humstrange Academy" and a member of the student council. Palisman: Boar
Gowther(Illusions) - A student council member from "Humstrange Academy". Palisman: Goat
Diane(Construction) - Really tall girl from the Lady Calcifeine School for Witchery. Palisman: Snake
I chose potions for both Mel and Escanor because of their tavern association. It was the best I could think of... I like to think Meliodas is just... really bad at his potions XD Ban was also potions before he dropped out.
Merlin is oracle on paper, but of course she studies everything on her own time.
#the owl house#toh#seven deadly sins#nanatsu no taizai#7ds#nnt#the owl house au#toh au#crossover#kinda#that titan is so bad XD#I tried man...#that ugly ass picture took me all day...
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I'm thinking about that Roman Astérix AU again... I was too scared to post it back when Astérix was my SpIn because I thought it was cringe but I actually like it now.
Basically... imagining a universe where Astérix lives in a conquered area of Gaul, and as a man who wants to be the village warrior having now lost the war against the Romans feels useless and out of place. He's a bit insistent on doing everything by himself; he doesn't engage in trade with the other people and instead goes hunting alone, even as it gets harder and harder to find anything with the Romans' construction into wild forests. Basically, he's a guy with no where to go and no real purpose. Eventually he's enlisted as a Roman legionary (by choice or not would both be interesting ideas, so I'm not sure yet). There he has considerably more value, even if he's conflicted about it; his agility and quick thinking makes him a favourite of the Centurion; he seems to have a future here. He gets by, not sure how to take it. He doesn't drink in moderation. Especially when the other legionnaries talk about their friends and wives at home.
The Centurion calls Astérix in (is he now going by Asterus? Whatwilbecomofus? Maybe. You decide.) one day and tells him, as his favourite legionary, he's giving Astér a special mission. They need to destabilise the village on the coast of Brittany if they want any hope of conquering it. Surely Astér, with his wit and warrior's mind, can think of something?
So Astér sets off, not entirely sure what he's going to do yet. Alone, of course, he still does everything by himself. It goes well enough.
In reaching the village, he spends a good while scouting out the place and what he might do (being small and nimble as he is, it's not too hard). He settles upon kidnapping a villager - but only one who's sort of unpopular - so they fight over whether to go and save them, creating division and hopefully leaving them confused before they get pummelled by the Romans.
His first thought is Assurancetourix/Cacofonix, but he's discovered that even he goes to fight when the Romans show up and that, besides his singing, the villagers seem to like him. That leaves a peculiar choice. Obélix.
Obélix, having never met Astérix in this universe, is pacifist to a fault. Not out of any moral obligation, but he's just not all that concerned about standing up for himself; he doesn't go to fight the Romans because fighting is scary, and the other village Gauls are always talking about what a drag he is. Since he never fell in the potion, he isn't strong enough to carry around menhirs, and doesn't ever think to ask Panoramix for any. Hence he doesn't trade, he doesn't fight, he doesn't really have any friends. He hunts boar for himself and that's about it.
Astér knows he could easily capture him because he wouldn't resist, but rather just sort of accept it. However, since his moustache has since grown back, he's actually able to convince Obélix that he's not a legionary at all - just another Gaul, a friend of a cousin from his family in Lutecia, and oh won't you go back with me and help me with something something. It works. Obélix being a bit dumb is true in any universe.
From here, I'm not sure what might happen. I know Astér will begin to take him back to the legionary camp, and slowly they'll become friends. They'll meet Idéfix on the way, and Obélix, so pure of heart, will insist they keep him. Talks about how nice it is to have allies with you on big journeys. Astér has never heard anything like that before. He ends up taking detours, not wanting to actually turn Obélix in.
What I know is that the village Gauls definitely come for Obélix, and Astér is shocked because he didn't think there was such an intense amount of solidarity between them. I also know that Astér eventually writes to his garrison and pretends to be a group of bandits saying they've captured yer best warrior and he'll be dead in 3 days if ye don't come get him!. He means it as a way of faking his death so he doesn't have to go back. He's still upset when they don't come get him.
Astérix eventually moves to the indomitable village. He wants to be a warrior again, and maybe not do everything by himself anymore. And Obélix, inspired by Astérix's rants about how you really ought to stand up for yourself and you can't be walked over all the time and etc etc etc., agrees to try a bit of the potion. They sneak into the druid's house, same as canon. Astérix doesn't really know how the potion works, so he just tells Obélix to drink it all. Exactly what happened as a kid, happens again. All is right with the world.
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“Oh you are too kind! How should I repay you? Perhaps a gift of beauty or song or even eternal happiness? Hmph, Like that would ever happen”
Here she is! The eternal thorn in Headmaster Crowley’s side, Miss Victoria Le Fay herself~
Full Name: Victoria Alyx Le Fay
Nicknames: That one (Crowley), Little one (Lilia), Mademoiselle Aristocrat (Rook), Halfblood (Sebek), Starfish (Floyd)
V/A: Rie Tanaka (Japanese) Suzie Yeung (English)
!Twisted from the Three Fairies from Sleeping Beauty!
Age: 19
Birthday: December 27th
Horoscope: Capricorn
Species: Half Fae
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/her
Height: 170 cm (or 5′7)
Hair color: Chocolate Brown
Eye Color: Pink and Blue
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Homeland: Queendom of Roses
Family: Unnamed Fae Father, Unnamed Human Mother, Two unnamed younger sisters,Three Unnamed Aunts
Dominant Hand: Left
Dormitory: Diasomnia
School Year: 3rd Year
Class: 3-D (No.8)
Best Class(es)- Conjuration/Summoning and Ancient Curses
Worst Class-Potions
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Favorite Food(s): Tea, Tea sandwhiches, and Pomegrantes
Least Favorite Food(s): Cucumbers and Cranberry
Hobbies: Flower pressing, Listening to Ghost Stories,and Playing Boar Games
Dislikes: Messiness, Sweating, and Failure
Talent(s): Concentration, Ice Skating, and Enchantment
Sexuality: Demiromantic/Demisexual
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Personality: Victoria is a naturally proud individual who carries herself in a mature and self assured way. When one would see someone as a superior, Victoria sees them as a rival to surpass. However, when things don’t go her way, she is mature enough to let it be. Though appearing aloof and self serving, she is protective of her comrades and would fight tooth and nail for them to be happy. Though her grades are spectacular, Victoria is known as a problem student due to her habit of showing off and bragging which has caused several accidents. If you get past her arrogant and noble aura, you will find a girl who just wants to be appreciated by the world.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Backstory: Victoria was born to a fae father and a human mother in the Briar Valley. Her father met her mother in gardening store in the Queendom of Roses and immediately fell for her. Although she was born in the Valley, she and her family later moved to the Queendom of Roses and lives there to this day. Later, Victoria would be accepted into NRC and sorted into Diasomnia. One day while showing off her unique magic, in her third year, Crowley accidentally got hit full force by her unique magic and was turned to stone. He was turned back but because of this, Victoria was forced to repeat a year of school.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Trivia!
Victoria loves ghost stories because she finds them exciting
Her aunts still live in the Briar Valley and goes back every winter break to see them
Like Lilia, she should n e v e r and I repeat n e v e r let her into the kitchen.It will burn
Along with this, She (unlike Ellis) cannot sew at at all
Her favorite flower are carnations
Her group of friends include Ellis (my yuu), Silver, Lilia, Azul, Idia, Trey, Vil, and Rook
Victoria is a very loving big sister to her siblings and often comes off as a shock to many who do not know her
Her favorite type of tea is herbal
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If it’s not a lot of trouble, do you mind doing some recap? I joined the first day and could peep a little of the second, but now I’m a little lost, who’s who, what’s going on, what’re we doing, what’re we up against, and what magic is affecting Bubbie?! I’m so lost, sorry
no worries!
NPCs
-phosphor is a pear-shaped moth who runs a potion shop
-cora is an elf with MASSIVE boobs who runs a clothes shop and made bubbie a very stretchy bra using slime extracts
-savita is a bunny girl waitress at the tavern bubbie's staying at
-pumpkin is a hilariously obese fairy that runs the tavern and has to be carried around by her waitresses
effects
-a portion of the water she drinks is stored in her tits, and can be tapped for both magic or normal drinking
-plain water sometimes doubles in volume or is extra quenching on account of her being a water mage
-she's under a curse from a gluttony being that makes it harder for her to resist food, and this curse has a chance to worsen every night
events
-she's currently abating the effects of the curse with holy water
-she has two quests (mushroom hunting and hunting a fire boar) to deal with
-yesterday's breakfast turned into a feast that lasted until noon, so she wants to find a way to stop endlessly eating
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Feeding Alligators 18 - Untitled Training Montage
You walk, walk, walk, walk, walk. Accidentally hit Lae'zel with a stick. Walk, walk, walk, jog, spar. Lae'zel is done with this shit.
On AO3.
The dead boar stares up at you with glassy eyes, its tongue lolling out into the dirt. Hefty thing. Probably some good bacon on it. Lae’zel hisses something, and Gale answers. You’ve only got the one potion left, and you want to save it for whatever you find at that swamp.
Y’all move on.
***
You trudge for two days. You lose time twice more—only small episodes, once while walking (you crested a hill, and suddenly you were down it again) and once while taking a break on the side of the road (you’d gone to pee, and woke with your trousers around your ankles; you made vague hand gestures when you returned to quizzical looks at how long, you assume, you were gone).
You kick the panic in the face and wrestle that bitch to the ground. It’s easier to focus on the language lessons, especially now there’s no magical translation twisting in your brain. You can construct toddler questions after Gale introduces you to “this is” and “what is”. You decide to use it to maximum effect and really lean into the toddler aspect, asking “what is this” about almost every item you pass.
It’s hard to remember when you can’t write anything down. Gale corrects your pronunciation several, several times. Especially once Astarion involves himself, and takes up duties when Gale disappears off into the woods for a moment. You thought he was teaching you “stone.” But judging from the flat look from Gale once he returned (and an intrigued-bemused Shadowheart), and a hands pantomime, turns out he’d taught you the word for panties. In a posh accent, no less.
This fucking guy.
That bit brightens his whole day; he stops complaining for at least an hour.
By then, Shadowheart has dropped back enough to watch you for a second. And, in heavily accented English, she says, “Gofgel?”
“Goddamnit, Gale,” you say.
He gives an apologetic shrug from the front of y’all’s miscreant party.
That night, you notice Astarion watching you. Nothing overt—you only catch him the once—but you can feel eyes on the back of your neck. That and the others (Shadowheart) keep giving you pitying looks while Gale seems agitated.
Lae’zel finishes cleaning her owlbear head. Rubs the inside with something greasy and sets it to the side to dry.
On the third day, y’all get jumped. The bandits everyone had been alluding to. You try to hang back, but one of them (rightly) singles you out as the weakest link and comes straight for you. You try to hit him with the stick the way Gale showed you. But then Lae’zel darts in to cleave off a chunk of one of their faces, and the two of them stagger in, and you end up cracking her right on the shoulder instead.
She hisses nastily and wrenches the staff out of your hands. Leaves you standing at the edge of a fight, with nothing but the rock you pick up.
That night, after dinner, she steps in to loom over you. Arms crossed, sharp face stern. She snaps something.
Astarion perks up.
This alarms you.
She repeats herself, and then shoves your stolen staff at you and motions you to stand. You look to the others and they’re all resigned, glaring at Lae’zel, or scooching closer on a stool he found somewhere.
Are…is she gonna beat you up? Is this some form of corporal punishment?
Your palms go slick. Your legs wobble as you stand. They’re all watching; everyone here is so goddamn casual about killing, what would a lashing be but a form of entertainment?
You try hard to tamp the fear down, resist the urge to fall to your knees and apologize (uselessly), or start praying (better, but never enough). It’s mortifying how fast these responses flood back. You almost want to give yourself the ass beating.
But Lae’zel does not hand you a knife so you can go find and cut an appropriate switch (not too thin cause that hurts like a motherfucker, but not too thick so it doesn’t break your damn ass). Nor does she strip you down to your underwear to receive your punishment. Probably a good thing; fifteen years of freedom and an adult body later and you’d probably start clawing and biting, consequences be damned.
What she does, is pick up a stick herself and turn to face you.
When you hesitate, she says what you’re ninety-five percent sure is an insult, repeats her first words, and gestures you forwards.
When you finally do totter over, and she lifts her staff, it isn’t to hit you (you don’t flinch, you don’t. Goddamnit, goddamnit this stupid fucking place fuck the whole thing and fuck all these fucking people).
Instead, she sweeps the staff up into some sort of stance. Horizontal, held in front, hands a shoulders-width apart. She says a word. Waits for you to repeat it. Waits again for you to mimic.
Your face is hot. Fucking everyone watching. Why for fuck’s sake can’t they go find their own goddamn entertainment? Fucking watching you? Fuckheads.
But you recognize what she’s doing. Or intuit it, anyway. Weapons training. She’s teaching you how to actually use the damned thing.
That knowledge should soothe your out of control endocrine response.
It does not.
You proceed to follow her as she shows you various stances. There’s two crouching ones you can’t do very well because your bad knee screams when you try. You manage to stop yourself from looking over to your goddamned audience. Watching you fumble. Watching your thick thighs and thicker trunk try to move with scrawny, ropey-muscled and lithe Lae’zel.
She either doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care about your self-esteem crisis. Just examines you, and raps an elbow or knee when you fuck up. Which is often.
You’re trembling by the time she lets you stop. Want nothing more than to collapse face first into your bedroll and let the sweet exhaustion of oblivion wipe you from consciousness. But she swats your arm again, harder. Motions you to set down the staff and follow her.
As she jogs.
You stare. She gets four steps, glances back, and you’re learning “Tsk’va” is definitely a swear. You also know what “come here” sounds like in Faerunese.
Your friendly onlookers give you a sort of “that sucks” wince. They make no attempt to intervene. Astarion gives you a jaunty farewell wave. You consider stealing his camp shoes and dunking them in the river while he’s not looking. Except the guy has a lot of knives by this point, so that’s probably a bad idea.
“Fuuuck,” you groan.
***
You’re out of shape. You know that. Had known it for years, in fact. You were never a runner. Even as a kid, you came in last place when the other kids would race. Not that you, a girl, were expected to win or even try that hard. Future mothers don’t need to be fast, they need to be sturdy enough for chores, need to be dutiful and obedient.
You didn’t realize you’d forgotten how to jog, though. Didn’t know that was a thing that could happen. The movement feels weird, your body disconnected and stiff and sloppy. Lae’zel mutters, but her frown seems more thoughtful, and less disgusted. She takes you for a few, gasping laps around camp. You consider veering right and disappearing into the night, never to return. Then you wouldn’t have to meet any of their gazes and know that they saw you being such a disgrace.
Once that’s done, Lae’zel still doesn’t let you stop. She moves onto strength exercises. Shocker! You can’t do a single push up.
So she has you lift and carry a bunch of water skins instead. By the time she’s done, your muscles ache all up and down your sides. Your shoulder blades are sore, your crotch feels sore for some godforsaken reason, and your hands and fingers are so weak, you can’t actually uncork the water skin she hands you.
She opens it without a word, and glares at you until you’ve drunken enough she deems it sufficient.
Then she makes you stretch.
Later, you have to palm your own bedroll back to flop onto it.
Your stays are just going to stay on all night. You have no dexterity for unlacing. Everyone else is bedding down. The fire burns low. And that’s why you jump when someone sits beside you.
The scent of sweat mixed with something delicate and floral washes over you. Shadowheart looks at you. Gestures to your stays. You try for a self-deprecating smile and hold up your useless fucking hands.
She nods like she’s expecting it. Asks you some kind of question. Goddamn dirt potion rationing. She repeats herself, points to the laces, motions to herself.
Help. She’s asking if you want help…getting out of the stays.
She’s been quiet around you. Speaking up mostly to snark (mostly at Astarion) (or to verbally gut Lae’zel). You can’t tell if she’s super reserved, or she doesn’t like you in particular.
It’s a tentative connection, you think. A simple offer. She’s watched you make an ass out of yourself all evening, and instead of making fun of you or using this to cast you out (fucking raspberries; raspberries and that sickly, fake lemon), she’s…offering to help.
That or she’s making sure you like her more than you like Lae’zel. Trying to one-up Lae’zel. Who the fuck knows.
You know this word. You nod. Say, in their language, “Help?”
She nods and makes efficient work of it. You try to hold still and not melt into a useless mess as your posture support disappears. Once it’s done and hanging open—your shirt is soaked in sweat, at least you have one, clean spare you got from those bandits you did absolutely nothing to help with.
“Thank you.” The other phrase you know.
Her smile is tiny and brief and just a bit detached. So you probably got the vocabulary right. Then she’s off, striding over to her own bedroll—the night is warm and they all set up out here, so you’re guessing it isn’t going to rain (except for Astarion, who always sleeps inside his tent).
You hope you won’t be as sore tomorrow (it’ll probably be worse!). The night air carries a heavy sort of fug that reminds you of humidity and growing things and Oklahoma. Y’all had spotted the swamp down the next rise; you’d reach it tomorrow morning.
You think your tiredness and achiness would make it easy to fall asleep. It ought to. But your body seems hell bent on revenge, and you sleep rough, tossing and turning.
And maybe something about that puts you more on edge than usual. Or maybe you just get lucky. Cause the next time your eyes crack open and you roll to your opposite side, you spot the teeth.
Adrenaline blasts right through the fatigue. You’re scrambling away before you even fully register what you see. Until he also stumbles back, and Astarion lifts both his hands in surrender.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#astarion#fanfic#astarion x tav#it's a goddamn isekai#i'm not sorry#no betas we die like men#tavstarion#slow burn#plus size tav#demisexual tav#named tav#feeding alligators fic#the tadfools
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Title: Boar meat is boar meat, even if it started as Kore meat.
Rating: G
Words: 1067
Characters: Deuce Spade, Ace Trappola, Floyd Leech, Yoru Crowley (OC), Boar Kore Hightower (@/azusawrites OC), Theo Yule (@/azusawrites OC)
Synopsis: Ace and Deuce are idiots and turn Kore into a boar. Yoru is hungry and wants to eat her.
“Ne, Yoru. What are you doing, you look reaaaally~ creepy right now.”
Yoru turned to look at Floyd with a grin, a maniacal glint in her eye as she weighed the heft of the kitchen knives from the block in front of her. “Meat.”
“Meat.” He said flatly, “What about it?”
“There’s a boar on campus that’s been running around biting people, I’m gonna eat it.”
“Eeehhhhhh? Shouldn’t you leave that up to the staff or something?”
She shrugged, gripping her chosen knives in her hands. “If I catch it first they can’t take it away cause it’s mine.”
“Do you really think they’d let you keep it?”
“Not like they’d take it back. You coming or what?”
“Where is it?”
“Running around outside the coliseum right now, looks like those two idiot first years are chasing after it but they’re too slow.”
“Aha! Naaah, I’m gonna take a nap here I guess. See ya.” Floyd waved her off and stomped up the stairs to her bedroom. Yoru raced out the front door and took off. The first years were slow but she wasn’t. She’d have the boar in no time, then it would be time for a feast.
**
She spied the boar squealing and running as fast as its stubby legs would take it, a cloud of dust growing in its wake. The first years still trailed behind, the gap between them growing as the race wore on. Yoru dropped from the sky, knives ready and fell upon the boar catching it around the shoulders with her talons, forcing it to the ground.
“WAIT STOP!” The red headed one yelled.
“I caught it, I get to eat it. Back off.” Yoru replied, holding the boar down with one of her feet, lining her knives up to make the kill.
“YOU CAN’T, THAT’S KORE!” The blue haired one shouted, waving his arms as the pair of idiots caught up to her.
“Theo’s kid?”
“YES! SO YOU CAN’T EAT HER” they shouted in unison.
Yoru shifted her weight, still pinning the boar Kore to the ground. “Why not?”
“CAUSE SHE’S NOT A REAL BOAR, ARE YOU INSANE!? WHY WOULD YOU STILL WANT TO EAT HER?” the red boy frowned, the red heart on his eye crinkling.
“Boar meat is delicious?”
“THAT’S OUR FRIEND YOU’RE TRYING TO EAT!” The boy with the black spade on his face shouted. Yoru sighed. It was always the fucking Heartslabuyl students with their stupid rules and morality and telling her what she couldn’t do.
“Well why’s she even a boar in the first place?”
“Well….” Spade sputtered
“We just…” Heart rubbed the back of his neck , desperate for an excuse that wasn’t “we’re idiots that can’t even make a basic potion that even babies could handle.”
“Yoru,” A cold voice broke from behind the kerphumphering of the two idiots blabbering in front of her, still without an excuse. “You can’t eat Kore.”
Theo rubbed his eyes with an exaggerated sigh. Why was it always the Crowleys?. And why was he cursed with two of them?
“Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine” She groaned, taking her foot off the squealing boar that was apparently the girl that lived in Ramshackle dorm. “But you owe me dinner.”
“No I don’t.”
“Yeah you do. You just deprived me of this one.”
“Dude, what the HELL?” Heart gagged as Yoru rolled her eyes. “You know that’s really a person and you STILL wanna eat her?”
Yoru shrugged.
“Boar meat is boar meat. And boar meat is good.”
“Are… are you a cannibal or something? I think we read about those in class the other day…” Spade trailed off itching his forehead as if the movement would help jog his memory.
Theo chuckled, helping boar Kore to her stubby little feet. “You’re not completely wrong, I suppose…”
“Wait a minute, wait. A. min-ute!” Hearts said, looking from Theo to Yoru for clarification, none of which was given. “ARE YOU SAYING SHE’S A CANNIBAL?”
“Whoa whoa whoa! You can’t be! Not for real!” Spade cowered away from Yoru before regaining his composure and resuming his upright posture.
“Hey, all I wanted was some boar. And like I said, boar meat is boar meat, even if it starts as Kore meat.”
Boar Kore snorted and stamped her feet at Yoru, indignant that the bird girl was insistent on eating here even if she wasn’t really a boar. Not forever, at least.
“Whatever. This is a waste of time if I can’t even get a meal out of it. Theo you owe me.”
“Yea yea,” he waved lazily as she flew away, back to the cabin tucked neatly in the woods behind campus.
**
“Wait so the boar was Koebi-chan?”
“Yup.”
“And Okoze-sensei wouldn’t let you eat her?”
“Nope.”
“Boooooooooooooring.”
“That’s what I thought too. Now I’m really craving boar and we don’t even have any.” She crossed her arms and wriggled into the bed next to Floyd.
“What if I turned into a boar, would you eat me?”
“Right now? Yes. I just told you I'm hungry.”
“What if I was aaaaaaa...” He paused for a moment to think, “an ostrich?”
“Like a full grown one or just an egg?”
“I dunno, either one.”
“Yes.”
“Eeeeehhhhh if it was both why’d you even ask?”
“Thought I should clarify how I’d eat you I guess.”
“You wouldn’t really eat me though, riiiiiiight~?”
“Probably not.”
“Only probably?”
“Yea. What if we get trapped somewhere and there’s no food? I’d have to eat something and you have more meat on you.”
“Not that much more.” Now he was the one pouting.
“Just turn back into an eel. Then there’s plenty of meat for the both of us.”
“Geeeeeeh”
“Wanna do that right now? I could go for some fish.”
Floyd groaned and stretched, setting his feet on Yoru’s ribs and hips. “Let’s go get dinner you’re being stupid.” He whined, pushing his legs forward so she’d fall out of her own bed to the floor.
“Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.” She moaned, dramatically flapping her arms in the air above her while Floyd crawled out of her bed over her flailing hands. He helped her up from the floor and they walked towards the mirror chamber discussing which of the students at Night Raven would provide the best meal. Remora-chan? Too bony. Epel? Too scrawny. Azul? Azul would be perfect, they both agreed, and entered Mostro Lounge with an appetite whet for takoyaki.
#ace trappola#deuce spade#floyd leech#yoru crowley#kore hightower#theo yule#dumb and dumber#yoru wtf#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#twisute oc#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst deuce#twst ace#twst floyd
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Amelia’s Story (BBC Merlin Story)
Chapter 40: Love in the Time of Dragons
Masterlist
Amelia's POV
Amelia lingers outside the Council Chambers as she listens to what Arthur, Uther, Merlin, and Gaius are talking about. She had been with Merlin and Gaius when Uther had sent for them and was curious as it seemed very serious. Knowing she wouldn't be allowed in, she went to one of the doors to the room and pressed herself against the door to listen in. If Morgana finds her, she can lie and say that she's trying to find information that would be useful to their 'plans'.
"Gaius, there have been disturbing rumours from outlying Villages," Uther says.
"Sire?"
"Someone, some kind of Physician is offering treatments. I fear magic may have been used." Amelia pulls a face at Uther's words, hypocrite. He didn't mind using magic when Morgana was dying, did he?
"What is it that makes you suspicious?" Gaius asks. Amelia shakes off her anger so that she can focus on the conversation.
"There are reports of miracle cures? A boy thrown from a horse, a farmhand mauled by a boar. All hopeless cases it seems, and yet each and everyone has made a full recovery." Uther explains. It does sound suspicious. How dare someone try to help others with magic? (Note the sarcasm.)
"It's very hard for me to comment, Sire. I'd have to examine the patients myself." Gaius evades.
"That won't be necessary," Uther dismisses, "as a new case has arisen here in Camelot."
"Who?"
"The Innkeeper. He's returned to work." Arthur says.
"That's not possible. The condition was critical, I saw him only days ago." Gaius argues.
"So, you agree that magic must be involved?" Uther asks pointedly.
"Well, I couldn't say for sure."
"Then go to the Tavern and find out." Uther orders. "If sorcery is at work here, we must act quickly."
"Yes, Sire. I'll see to it right away."
——
Amelia pulls Anne along with her to Gaius' Chambers to wait for said man and Merlin to return. Amelia had given Anne the rundown of what's going on. Merlin and Gaius eventually return.
"Well? Did you see the Innkeeper?" Amelia immediately questions as soon as they step inside.
Merlin looks at her surprised. "How did you—"
Amelia raises an eyebrow. "You're not the only one that sneaks about."
Anne rolls her eyes. "Anyway, the Innkeeper?"
"Gaius was great, he protected the Innkeeper, lied to Uther," Merlin tells them.
Amelia smiles, pleased. "Really?"
Gaius looks at Merlin confused. "What are you going on about Merlin?"
Merlin looks at him questioningly but continues, "He was a sick man. It was a matter of life and death. Magic was his only hope."
"But he didn't use magic." Gaius dismisses. Amelia's eyes flicker between the two. What's going on?
"The potion was enchanted; I saw it with my own eyes. We both did." Merlin persists.
"What you saw, Merlin, was a release of gaseous pressure. Entirely normal in a preparation of that kind." Gaius counters. Amelia looks to Anne who is frowning at the two. Why is Gaius lying?
"But what about the totem?"
"What totem?"
"The totem in the Innkeeper's doorway bore the marks of the Old Religion," Merlin explains.
"Nonsense. You're obviously tired, Merlin. I recommend you get some sleep." Gaius then walks off to the other side of the room. Merlin, Anne, and Amelia all look at each other in confusion.
——
Amelia and Anne gather with Merlin and Gaius in the latter's Chambers.
"Did you go out last night?" Merlin asks. Amelia looks at him questioningly and Anne looks equally confused.
"Yes. I had to get some herbs." Gaius replies.
"Herbs?" Merlin looks unconvinced and Amelia wonders why.
"A... a new supplier just arrived," Gaius explains. Now Amelia herself is unconvinced.
"Right... do your suppliers normally kiss you?" Merlin suddenly asks.
Amelia splutters. "Kiss?!" What's this?!
Gaius looks affronted, turning to the three of them. "You followed me. How dare you?"
"Gaius, it was the middle of the night, I was worried. I thought you might be in some sort of trouble." Merlin insists.
"There's nothing wrong," Gaius murmurs turning around back to the table.
A teasing smile appears on Anne's face. "What's their name?"
"Alice." Gaius answers. Merlin mouths the name to himself. "She's an old friend. Well, more than a friend, if truth be told." Gaius continues to confess.
"What do you mean?" Amelia asks with a smirk, a nice one.
Gaius turns. "We were once engaged to be married."
The other three in the room gape in shock. Gaius was engaged?!
"When was this?" Merlin questions as Gaius turns back to his work.
"More years ago than I care to remember." He puts down his work and sits on the bench and they sit opposite. "I had just been made Physician to the King when I met her. It was like finding a kindred spirit, we had so much in common." Anne and Merlin share a soft smile. "Our love of science, or healing, and of magic."
"Magic?" Anne mutters.
Gaius nods. "I was just a novice, but Alice's power and ability was uncanny. She had the gift. Soon she had mastered every aspect of sorcery, healing above all. It was wonderful to behold. She saved a great many lives." He tells the three sorcerers who can't help but smile when hearing about Gaius' past romance.
"It was Alice that cured the Innkeeper," Merlin concludes.
"Indeed. There was a time when her skills were famous in Camelot."
"So, what happened?" Merlin asks.
"Uther declared war on magic. Overnight her world was turned upside-down."
"The Great Purge," Amelia says solemnly.
"Uther drew up a list of everyone suspected of using magic. One by one, they were hunted down and executed." Amelia shakes her head in disgust. "As a close friend of the King, I was permitted to see this list. Alice's name was on it."
"What did you do?" Anne asks inquisitively.
"The only thing I could do. I struck her name off." Gaius responds.
Amelia looks at him wide eyed. "Gaius, if you'd been caught..."
"I know," Gaius admits, "but it bought her time. Just enough to get out of Camelot, to escape."
"But you... you stayed behind." Merlin murmurs.
"I was scared. I felt I had no choice. I thought I'd never see her again. But now here she is, after all these years. I feel we've been given a second chance." Gaius says softly.
——
Later on, Amelia finds herself helping Anne in getting Merlin back to his Chamber. Arthur had been particularly hard on the manservant during training.
"What if he had hit my head?" Merlin asks as they make their way.
"He'd probably say that there wouldn't be much difference in the regular you and the you that was hit over the head with a mallet," Amelia answers as they get to the door. Amelia lets go as she reaches for the doorknob while Merlin leans against Anne and the wall. Anne chuckles at her remark.
Merlin opens his mouth to argue but then pauses. "You're probably right."
Amelia nods as she opens the door and grabs his arms and pulls him towards her. "Come on." She says as she and Anne lead him inside.
"Ah, Merlin, Amelia, Anne," Gaius greets as he stands in his Chambers and Amelia looks on in surprise as a woman close to Gaius' age emerges from behind him. "I'd like you to meet Alice."
Merlin seems to forget his pain and saunters over to Alice with a smile and clasps her offered hand in greeting.
"It's a pleasure to meet you three. Gaius speaks very highly of all of you." Alice says as Amelia and Anne also greet her by clasping her hand.
"You too," Anne says warmly.
"When he finally did mention you." Amelia remarks with a teasing smile. Merlin and Anne simultaneously give her a warning look, which Amelia ignores.
"Alice will be staying with us for a while," Gaius says awkwardly.
"Great," Merlin says genuinely.
"That's alright with you?" Alice asks hesitantly.
"Of course." Merlin insists. "I'll make up the spare bed."
"So, you won't mind if she uses your room?" Gaits questions.
Merlin's face falters a bit. "Be my guest." Alice and Gaius walk off to the side of the room.
"You can stay at mine if you want," Anne suggests when seeing Merlin looking a bit disgruntled at the idea of giving up his Chamber.
Merlin looks at her in alarm. "In your bed?!" Amelia snorts at the awkwardness.
"What? Er, n-no, no." Anne hurriedly replies. She looks to Amelia for help but Amelia just stands there and smiles. "I mean yes, erm, only if you're comfortable."
Merlin smiles at her softly. "I'll be fine here."
——
Merlin had confessed to Gaius, Amelia, and Anne that Alice might be practising dark magic and says he can prove it so they follow him to his Chamber where Alice is staying in.
Merlin pulls out the box from under the bed from where the creature Merlin had seen emerged from. "This is it."
"Merlin, put that back. This has gone far enough." Gaius hisses.
Merlin instead leans an ear on it. "Oh, it's in there. I know it is."
"Ridiculous." Gaius goes to open it.
"Gaius, no!" Anne exclaims in alarm but when the Physician opens it, the box is empty.
"I hope you're satisfied, Merlin." Gaius snaps.
——
Merlin insists he's telling the truth and Amelia and Anne assure him they believe him. So, they go to Library. They pass Geoffrey of Monmouth as they enter.
"Morning," Merlin calls over his shoulder as he charges past.
Amelia smiles apologetically as she follows.
They are flipping through books when they are interrupted by a cough. Amelia looks up to see Geoffrey looking at them expectingly. "Can I help you?"
"No." Merlin dismisses.
Anne rolls her eyes. "Yes, please ignore him." She shows Geoffrey the page of her book. "Do you know anything about this creature?"
"Ah, now that is the Manticore." Geoffrey acknowledges.
"A Manticore?" Amelia questions. Merlin now watches in interest.
"Nasty looking beast, isn't it."
"Yeah, you can say that again," Merlin mutters, probably thinking of what he had seen.
"I believe it was first referred to almost a thousand years ago." Geoffrey continues to explain. "The Ancients lived in fear of it, trembled at its very name."
Anne frowns. "We've never even heard of it."
"I'm not surprised. 'Cause as far as I'm aware, the Manticore is a legend, figment of the imagination." Geoffrey tells them.
"Are you sure?" Merlin persists.
"Oh, yes. So, erm... if you were hoping to see one, I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed." Geoffrey walks away. Too late for that.
——
Merlin had seen Alice trying sneakily to do something before he caught her. So soon the three of them are heading to the Library after closing.
Geoffrey is asleep on a stack of books. Merlin hits something and Geoffrey wakes with a start. They dart behind a bookcase to stay hidden.
"What's that? Who's there?"
With a flash of his eyes, Merlin floats the objects on Geoffrey's desk. "No one. You're dreaming." Merlin whispers. Amelia tries not to burst out laughing at the happy look on Geoffrey's face. "Now go back to sleep." Geoffrey nods, puts his head back down on his desk, and snores. Merlin puts the objects back down.
Amelia rolls her eyes and pulls the two over to a corner. They sit with a bunch of books, eventually finding Alice's box on one of the pages.
——
Next morning Amelia, Merlin, and Anne find Gaius in a corridor.
"Gaius, we need to talk to you about Alice," Merlin says.
"Merlin, this must stop," Gaius tells him.
"There's a reason the box was empty. It isn't a container, it's a portal, a gateway for the Manticore." Amelia persists.
Gaius sighs. "Not you too. This must stop now." He orders harshly.
Anne shakes her head. "No, Alice is up to something, and whatever it is, it isn't good."
"You're wrong, Anne," Gaius argues. "Alice is the kindest and most compassionate person I've ever known."
"No. You're wrong, you're just blinded by your feelings for her." Merlin counters.
Gaius looks affronted by the accusation. "I can see perfectly well, Merlin. And what I can see is that none of you can bear for me to be happy. I cannot begin to guess why that should be, but it saddens me. More than I can say." He walks away.
Amelia feels tearful at Gaius' words. How can he say that?
——
It's nighttime when the warning bell sounds. Amelia sees commotion near Uther's Chambers. She rushes over to see what's going on to find the King on the floor with Arthur kneeling beside him and trying to wake him.
"Arthur?"
Arthur turns around with a frantic expression, he looks on the verge of tears. "Amelia... I-I can't wake him."
Despite her misgivings about Uther, Amelia feels sorrowful at seeing Arthur in such a state and crouches by Uther to have a look. The King is unconscious so Amelia grabs his shoulders and gives him a slight shake. "Uther!" She gives a few shakes but he doesn't rouse. Amelia checks his pulse and sees that it's weak.
Amelia hears someone enter and turns to see that it is Gaius.
Arthur gets up to rush over to the Physician. "I found him this way. I... we can't rouse him."
"He still seems to be breathing, but his pulse is weak," Amelia reports to Gaius as he kneels next to her. She decides it's best to move past Gaius' hurtful words from earlier.
"Seems so," Gaius replies.
"What's wrong with him?" Arthur asks as Gaius gets up and begins pushing Arthur out of the room.
"Please, I must examine him. Seal off the King's quarters." Arthur leaves and Merlin and Anne enter. Uther then gasps and his eyes shoot open, but they're completely black. The four of them real back in shock.
"What is that?" Merlin questions.
"Hush, Merlin," Gaius murmurs.
Uther calms and slowly closes his eyes. Gaius finds the empty bottle in the King's hand and gives it a sniff.
——
They exit the Chambers where Arthur and the Guards are waiting.
"Well?" Arthur demands.
"I am afraid I cannot yet determine the cause of your father's illness," Gaius replies. Amelia knows well enough by now that when Gaius says this, he's hiding something.
"Well, he's been poisoned, hasn't he?" Arthur concludes.
Poison. Amelia shares a look with Anne and Merlin and knows the three of them are on the same line of thought on who has done this.
"I cannot say at this stage."
Arthur doesn't fall for it. "Just look at him, Gaius. What else could it be?"
"We must not jump to hasty conclusions, Sire. Please watch over him till I return."
Arthur isn't pleased but goes into Uther's Chambers, Gaius leaves and Merlin, Anne, and Amelia follow him into the Phoenix Corridor.
"I don't think we need any more information." Merlin declares.
"Since when are you the expert in such matters?" Gaius retorts.
Amelia rolls her eyes. "Gaius, you don't need to be a Physician to see what's happened."
"Amelia!"
"Gaius, he's been poisoned, and I think we all know who did it." Anne interrupts.
"What exactly are you implying?" Gaius asks curtly.
"It was Alice. It had to be. She's been helping you with the potions. She's had every opportunity to corrupt his medicine." Merlin argues.
"Merlin, you have no proof of any of this."
"How else did he ingest the poison?" Anne counters. "There is no other explanation."
"Of course there is."
"Oh, come on, Gaius!" Merlin cries.
"We understand why you're protecting her. Really, we do. But in your heart of hearts, you must know what we're saying is true." Amelia pleads.
"All I know is that the King is gravely ill and that Merlin's place is by Arthur's side!" Gaius counters before walking away.
——
Merlin and Anne had gone to Arthur's side while Amelia goes to Morgana's, knowing how needy her sister will be at this time to have someone who 'thinks' like her to talk gleefully to.
Amelia's older half sister immediately turns on her when she comes across her in the corridor near their Chambers. "I heard Uther is gravely ill. Is it true?"
Amelia nods. "It appears he's been poisoned. He won't last long."
Morgana grins. "Excellent. Perhaps Uther will die without us lifting a finger."
Amelia shares a dark smirk with Morgana. She hadn't thought about that. This way the man she hates will die and she won't have it on her guilty conscious for causing Arthur pain but then she remembers Merlin's concern that Alice was up to something with Uther's medicine. Amelia feels a dread pool at the bottom of her stomach when she realises that Gaius might go down for the crime. She can't let that happen.
Her worried look is noticed by Morgana. "Amelia, sister, what is it?"
Amelia glances around and quickly comes up with a lie. "We shouldn't talk about these things, being so out in the open. We need to be careful."
Morgana nods. "Yes, of course. We must hope for the King's speedy recovery." The look on her face does not match her words.
——
Amelia goes to find Merlin and Anne to share her worries about the danger Gaius is in but instead finds Alice being dragged to the Dungeons by some Guards.
Amelia, Anne, and Merlin join Arthur as he questions Alice in the Dungeons. The Prince of Camelot stands in front of the bars that cover Alice's Cell.
"Do you admit to using magic?" He asks.
"Yes." Alice quickly and quietly replies.
"Admit to poisoning the King?"
"Yes, yes, but it forced me to do it. It, it made me." Alice argues. Creature... The Manticore made her do this?
"Who forced you?"
"The creature. The creature."
"You're lying! There's no creature. You're just trying to save your own skin." Arthur snaps.
"No, no."
Arthur calms and leans towards her. "Please, my father is dying. If you have a single shred of goodness within you, you will tell me how to cure him."
"I don't know." Arthur angrily hits the Cell doors and storms off. "I don't know! I'm so sorry. The Manticore..." Alice's words are then cut off by the sound of her choking. Amelia watches in shock as her eyes turn black.
——
They go to Gaius in Uther's Chambers, standing next to the man's bed. Merlin had confessed to being the one who had gotten Alice arrested.
"How is he?" Anne softly asks.
"He's fading. He won't last the day." Gaius answers.
"Gaius..." Merlin begins to apologise.
"It's alright, Merlin." Gaius interrupts. "I understand. You were only trying to save me from harm. Thank you. But I don't believe Alice wanted this."
"We know that now," Amelia reassures him. "The poison is from the Manticore, the creature that was in Alice's Chamber."
——
They hurry to Gaius' Chambers to discuss further on what they should do. Amelia isn't exactly pleased by this but she knows they need to save Alice from the Manticore plus it doesn't look good if Arthur's father is killed by magic.
"We cannot counteract the Manticore's venom. It's too deadly, by far." Gaius tells them.
"So, what can we do?" Merlin asks.
"We can kill the Manticore. The poison is imbued with its magic. With the Manticore dead, it will lose its potency." Gaius explains, picking up a book to flick through and putting it down.
"How do we kill it?" Anne questions.
"You can't." Gaius corrects. "None of you have the power. It's a creature of the Old Religion. But maybe there's another way, if I can remember." He picks up another book to flick through before landing on a page and shows them. "Here. The Manticore cannot live in this world long. Its life source is an ancient evil that exists in the spirit world."
"So, if we can trap it in this world..." Amelia summarises.
"Exactly. If we were to summon the creature and you kept it at bay long enough perhaps Anne or Amelia could break the box."
"The gateway," Merlin says.
"If the gateway is destroyed, then the creature's connection with its life source will be destroyed with it." Gaius finishes.
"And the Manticore will die?" Amelia asks.
"I believe so."
"Perhaps Amelia should do it. There's no better time to strengthen her magic." Anne suggests.
Amelia shakes her head. "The box is enchanted. I don't think I'd have the strength."
Anne disagrees, "You can. Gaius and I will help you."
——
After some tutelage, they approach the box.
"Are you ready?" Gaius asks.
"What if this doesn't work?" Merlin asks.
"Then we're going to have a very angry Manticore on our hands." They slowly open the box and all step back. They all turn to Merlin.
He takes a breath and chants, "Cume her, pin scinnlæcan!" The Manticore comes out and almost immediately attacks Merlin, who catches it in time before it can reach his face but falls to the crowd as he wrestles with it. Anne lunges forward to close the box. "Amelia!"
Amelia takes a breath herself and turns to the box. "Adee þas sawle duru!" But nothing happens. She tries again with more power behind her words. "Adee þas sawle duru!" Nothing happens.
"Amelia!" Merlin yells, only just avoiding the Manticore's scorpion like tail. "Amelia, it's now or never!"
"I can't do this!" Amelia cries tearfully. She is so useless!
"Yes, you can!" Anne urges.
Amelia nods and tries again. "Adee þas sawle duru!" She feels the power of her words rush out of her and towards the box, which explodes.
The angry Manticore leaps at Amelia, who only realises it's coming towards her when Merlin yells, "Amelia!" But before it can reach her, the Manticore fries. They all deflate in relief.
"Not too bad for a newbie." Merlin remarks to Amelia, who is gasping from exhaustion after that big spell. Anne lunges at him as he lays on the floor and kisses him on the cheek.
Amelia laughs. "Not too bad yourself." Gaius gives her a congratulatory pat on the back.
——
Uther has no mercy and sentences Alice to death the next day.
However, the next morning, Amelia hears the warning bells sound.
"What's happened?" She asks Anne not daring to hope.
"A little bird told me that a prisoner may have escaped the Dungeons," Anne replies with a knowing smile.
A similar smile stretches across Amelia's face. "Mmm... shocker. I thought those Cells were impenetrable."
"Seems you were mistaken."
The two of them begin sniggering.
——
A/N: Felt like Morgana should have a scene in there because she'd be jumping around at the thought Uther may be dying.
Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.
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Oh No! Nalfeshnee!
The hapless bard walked slowly through the forest, a mighty plastic long sword gripped tightly in his sweaty hands. Hey, what did you expect? He usually just carried the weapon for show.
Why was he so nervous? This hero thing can't be so hard, thought the bard-turned-sellsword. Besides, how bad could a Nalfeshnee be? Such a garbled name must come from a fairly weak creature.
But this beast had attacked a small group of travelers on the nearby trail. So when the cute barmaid at the ale house had twirled a finger in her hair and tilted her head just so, he couldn't help but say yes to whatever she asked. In this case it was to go take care of whatever had tormented and apparently even killed several unfortunate wanderers. Besides, after two weeks of performing at this bar he needed something new to bring a bit of excitement to his life.
After a half hour of walking back and forth from the trail and through the forest all that he had found so far was boredom. This Nalfeshnee thing must have seen him coming and became scared and ran off. He aimlessly stepped into a forest clearing for the fourth time already today.
Maybe I'll work on my new song a bit more while I waste my time...
"I woke up one fine mornin'
And what did I see?
That cute little barmaid
Was sleepin' with me.
I had courted her with poems
I flirted and she laughed
I sang her a sweet tune
And then made a slick pass
Took her back to my place
She was a ball of fire in bed
Made my mind go a reelin'
She gave the best...HOLY SHIT!"
He was not sure if he sang the words "holy shit." He was dead certain that it wasn't the lyric he had intended to sing. He was also sure it didn't matter much right now. He was also pretty sure he now knew what a Nalfeshnee looked like. Especially since it stood snarling before him. He was not sure at all whether he had soiled his pants, but the odds that it had actually happened were currently running down his leg.
What stood before him was best described as a cross between an ogre and a wild boar but with wings that seemed way-too-small to be useful on its back. It was drooling worse than the seamstress he had taken to bed a few months back in the village of Charcoal Cross. It was also much uglier than the local he assumed was not fully human that he had slept with while passing through the town of Mossy Oak three weeks ago. In other words, even a bard with such questionable standards would not have slept with a Nalfeshnee. It was just gross. Oh, and very angry, we can not forget the angry part.
He held up his plastic sword, which strangely enough, looked like a large butter knife. The demon standing before him almost looked happy to see the bard try to defend himself. It swung a powerful clawed hand and shattered the blade instantly, sending bits of white plastic flying everywhere. A hoofed leg then kicked the helpless pretend-sellsword to the ground. Was it laughing at him or does this freaking thing just sound like this when it breathes?
What the bard thought were his final thoughts began running through his head. Why did he let the cute barmaid talk him into such a quest? Well, because she was a lot better looking than the people that usually enjoyed his talents as he skipped from town to town bringing laughter, catchy rhymes and really way-out-of-key singing. Maybe she was not all that she seemed, could it have been a spell, or some potion? He should have suspected as much, no one that pretty usually talked to him, not even after his best performances. His next thought was that maybe he should have stuck with what he was good at, or at least halfway decent at... or maybe just acceptable at... but you know what he means, right? Fighting an angry Nalfeshnee wasn't exactly in his upper skill set, entertaining townsfolk that were rarely sober, that was more in his comfort zone.
He looked up and watched the beast open its pointy-sharp-toothed jaws wide and swing its clawed hand back for another swipe. The air around him seemed to begin crackling. A bright flash caused him to close his eyes. He thought: Is this what happens when you die? But he then heard a sound from the Nalfeshnee that was more one of surprise than crazed anger.
He opened his eyes to see the beast writhing in pain, then out of the corner of the bard's eye he saw her. She was glorious. Dark flowing hair that seemed to twinkle as if it was made of strings of black opals. Soft dark skin, how was it glowing? Was she glowing? Is this an angel, come to save me? Her ears were pointed and jutting through the black opal hair on either side of her head. Her flowing outfit concealed much of her form, but the stunned bard knew he would never see anything more beautiful in his entire life. How much of that life was left, he wasn't sure of. He let his eyes close again as the sounds of a very one-sided battle ripped through the forest clearing.
Minutes later? Hours later? Lifetimes later? He didn't know, he just felt a soft hand on his cheek and heard a voice. He slowly opened his eyes and saw her leaning over him. He croaked out a few words “My angel, my savior...”
“Oh, shut up, you silly fool, I'm no angel, you should see me in a library.” She seemed to laugh at some sort of inside joke before speaking to him again. “Consider yourself lucky I could not only hear, but could also smell that foul wretched beast from the nearby trail. Otherwise you may have become that demon's lunch.”
He kept staring at his savior and mumbling “Angel, you are... saved me... thank... the goddess Meilikki herself has protected me... so beautiful...you are...”
“Goddess may be right, but the name is Zelpha. And you are crazy, and most-likely have a concussion, not to mention various other bruises and lacerations. I will get my mount and get you to a village for care and rest. Please don't play the hero again. The next time you may not be so lucky.”
The banged-up bard continued to babble about the pretty dark angel elf that lit up the sky with fire. Finally, after about the twentieth time he thanked her and said she was beautiful, she glanced around quickly to make sure no one was watching and then cast a Silence spell on the deranged adventurer. “That's much better,” she said and went about the business of getting this half broken man to a village.
He woke up in a soft bed at the inn of the next village along the trail. He had been dreaming of fireballs and pretty elves and foul smelling demons. He opened his eyes for the first time in three days only to be disappointed. The old motherly face of the inn keeper glanced back. Oh how he wanted to see another face, a prettier face... a... “Glad to see you finally awake, good Sir. The lady that dropped you off left a few coins and dealt me a good bit of persuasion to see to your recovery. Rest up, lad, you are safe now.”
Several weeks later he found himself in a country pub, performing and entertaining and bringing laughs to the townsfolk. Had he learned a lesson? I would say so. He sung his latest song to the sparse crowd. Laughter, at his own expense, but hey, it was a living, which is much better than a dying!
“One fine spring day
I ventured into the woods
It was time to be a hero
To deliver the goods
But a demon arrived
Put me in a fear-filled trance
Broke my favorite sword
And made me piss my pants
But a goddess came along
Cast spell after spell
Knocked out the demon
And sent him back to hell
She was glorious and pretty
Saving my soul and my life
I just wish I could thank her
And sing this song to her some night!”
As applause and laughter rose from the crowd, he spied at the back of the pub a figure so out of place he could not miss it. It was her... she still looked like she was glowing to him, but he also noticed she was laughing. She was laughing!
By the time he got to the back of the pub she was gone. At least he felt like, in his own strange way, he was finally able to thank her, even if it was with a silly song.
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Enigmatic Writings, 9/27
"I was awakened by the sound of sword practice, shouts of exertion, and the pleasant smell of toast.
One of the king's guard, perhaps? Looks about my age, and reasonably skilled. I lay in my makeshift bed, lazily counting his swings."
""Hurry up, Owen. You'll be late."
Upon hearing the inkeep's words, the youth replied and made his way down from the misty hilltop and into the inn.
The scent of breakfast coming from next door has me drooling..."
"One bite of my rock-hard bread brought me back to reality. The bacon burnt coal black and the murky, bitter coffee wish it hadn't. I suppose I can expect no more from a shabby stand in the port.
After choking down my fill, I climbed the hill toward the palace."
"Supplied by a series of lush waterways, Caldisla was once a formidable city-fortress. These days, its hooked central avenue is lined with a magic shop, general store, armory and other businesses.
A large gate stands as a vestige of that era, though now it serves mostly as a site for the town bulletin board."
""This year's boar hunt is set to begin once the final slot is filled! *Weapons provided by the hunting committee."
A boar hunt? With the duchy attacking?"
"I was speechless. As I made to leave, I felt someone grasp my shoulder.
"This fellow says he'll join the hunt! We ride today!"
I turned, shock and irritation laid bare, only to find Owen, the young man I had seen practicing in the fog that morning."
"My initial protests were drowned in a rising cheer, and as the smith handed me a broadsword and buckler, I dumbly accepted. Potions from the town chemist followed. Between their expectant smiles and Owen's grin, I found myself unable to say no."
"On the road, I was told a litany of facts I cared nothing about.
The search for food to fatten up before hibernating apparently drives the giant boars to local farms, where they raid crops and injure workers. As a result, the city gathers volunteers each year to hunt them."
"As captain of the guard (I discover), responsibility for overseeing the hunt falls upon Owen.
The armorer was slated to participate, but a leg injury has him on crutches. Owen says he was searching for a replacement when he found a promising candidate during his morning practice. Lucky him."
"We walked a full, tiring day stalking our prey. First the trader gave out, then chatter dried up between the two young castle guards.
Sunset found us upriver from the city, at the entrance to the Norende Canyon. Just as we decided to make camp, a rustling came from the thickets behind us!"
"The boar that lept out was indeed a giant-- a vicious, one tusked monster that had survived the last year's hunt. In a flash, it gored one of the guards, then the other, leaving Owen, me, and the trader. The boar stamped the ground, preparing to charge the old man now paralyzed with fear."
"I expect we'd all given up hope for the kindly old merchant, when the beast suddenly changed course.
With only seconds to react, Owen landed the mighty blow, felling the monster in a single strike!"
"I set about treating the young guards' injuries.
The trader, clearly still worked up, narrated Owen's victory to the two boys. With every reverent word, I felt as though I was being derided as useless."
"The others took to sleep, while I sat watch to keep the fire going. Owen rose, and came to sit beside me.
"Thanks for before."
I kept silent, but he pressed on."
[Image I.D: A black and white pencil drawing of Captain Owen. The drawing is a full body shot of Captain Owen, smiling while holding the large boar. The boar's eyes are X-ed out. End I.D]
""The boar only changed targets because you circled behind me and channeled your energy at it. It's thanks to you we're not carting home a corpse."
He sat waiting, apparently bent on receiving a response. His grin is infectious."
""I took the surest course of action," I replied as I held aloft my broadsword.
"I had my doubts this blade was up to the task."
The weapon's edge was chipped in places, its length bent. With a gentle shake, the pommel gave an unsettling rattle. Owen burst into laughter at the noise."
"Apparently my response passed muster. He continued, his grin never flagging.
"Starting tomorrow, you'll stay at my place. I'll give word to my father to open a room for you."
I was dragged on this hunt, but if it earns me a real breakfast, it's a bargain I'd take gladly."
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