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pennyblossom-meta · 2 months

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Analysis of the romance in Death Note's Spiraling Trap game.

EDIT 02/03/2024: minor edits and fixes, added a few imgs and extra content.

A huge thank you to the folks over at agtteam who translated L - the ProLogue to Death Note: Spiraling Trap into English! Now we can all date L become FBI agents after hours.

I've been playing the game recently and one of the features I love the most is the L Communicator, which allows the main character (referred to as MC henceforth) to take a break from adventuring and listen to L talk about whatever is on his mind.

There's around one hundred different lines available as the MC develops a relationship with L and they paint him as such a sweet, attentive and thoroughly unique individual that I was surprised by how detailed it was. If you're thinking about playing, then this part is definitely worth putting effort into.

The mechanics of the dating sim are relatively simple: during the adventure, you'll pick up a number of recipes hidden among traps and tools. Then, Watari will provide the ingredients and you can give L whatever sweets he specifically craves. These recipes and cravings depend on the time of day and can be season specific.

Character analysis

As stated in-game, giving L sweets causes his appreciation for the MC to grow. However, L being L, means that he craves different sweets throughout the day. He's definitely very specific about what he likes and what he wants for his sugar fix.

However, if you give L something he isn't craving at that specific moment, he will sulk. The way he expresses his displeasure varies according to the depth of the budding relationship he has with the MC.

L: To tell you the truth, there are many other things I would have preferred. L: [F/N], I hate to say this, but I really would have preferred something else. L: F/N], you must know that I was hoping for something else, right? L: [F/N]… It’s not my favorite but, it made me really happy.

Note: Given that the books in the expanded universe (Another Note and L: Change the WorLd) came out before this game, I think some of the quotes further ahead might be a subtle nod to how L is perceived by the police forces as the "creepy murder detective". However, references about his piece of mind lead me to believe that L craves some respite from the burdens he carries on his shoulders — burdens so strong that they managed to curve his spine.

Note: I'm unsure how the system here works, as the MC also gets points for gaining L's trust in the actual adventure when they a) agree with his observations and b) find key objects hidden in unsuspecting places. It might affect the available lines through the L Communicator.

L: Today is going to be a better day… Let’s think positive. L: I wonder what kind of morning this will be. L: It seems the air outside is crisp this morning.

L: I want to finish what I need to get done before night falls. L: It’s nearly sunset. Time for children to go back home. L: If you just stare into space, night will be here before you know it.

L: It’s already evening… Time keeps passing me by. L: There’s something different about the air at night. L: Night-time, dusk… It’s the witching hour.

As a naturally introspective individual, L observes the world around him and draws conclusions. To my surprise, the game actually managed to capture how observant L is about small, unsuspecting details of daily life and give him a slightly poetic side laced with a hint of wistfulness that suits his character well.

This is a side of L in his private life that I personally wish we had been able to glimpse during the Kira investigation. Though, at the time, L was busy trying to prove that Light was, indeed, Kira. It left him little to no time to enjoy the world around him. During the brief time that L could have had a semblance of rest right before the Yotsuba arc, he was depressed that his deductions were "wrong" — though I could see him musing about some of the above, equal parts whimsy and sulking.

L: If I start to lose my touch… I guess I’ll retire. L: Another day, another mystery… L: I have a lot of thinking to do. L: I feel like doing some capoeira… L: I haven't played tennis for a while. L: The weather today is… Well, it matters not. L: I, um… No, ignore me. L: Am I reading too much into it…?

As a thinker, L has a lot of unfinished thoughts he says out loud. Some border on cliché, others are musings about things he'd like to do or that he's missing.

I wonder if some of his thoughts end up trailing off because, suddenly, he catches himself and believes they're not important? Or that he doesn't think the MC would be interested in what he has to say beyond work matters?

L: “In spring one sleeps a sleep that knows no dawn.” Though, too much sleep isn’t good for anyone. L: If you think about things persistently, noticing all the sides to them will come naturally. L: Strawberries… Despite the name, they aren’t actually berries. How berry disappointing. L: The one who has thought it through wins. It’s true for chess, and for deduction. But in the case of love… I don't know.

He's also a philosopher at heart, always thinking about the human condition. In these we can also witness his dry humour, silly puns along with a subtle desire to share his thoughts on the world and give helpful advice.

As for love, L is cautious but willing to learn. It's a topic where he's out of his depth.

L: Um, Watari is… L: I wonder if Watari’s asleep? L: What could Watari be up to? L: Today is Thanksgiving Day. I am truly grateful to Watari for his diligence.

I found it interesting how L's thoughts eventually go back to Watari and what he's doing. He's the one person that L relies on and whom he interacts with the most. Other people are passing acquaintances at best, who show little interest in L beyond work.

Notice how he mentions diligence? Although it is a utilitarian consideration, it also reveals a thankfulness for the comforts of familiarity and the peace of mind that trusting someone close brings. This is a topic we'll explore better at a later stage, i.e., how trust and acts of service work as a relationship builder.

Romance

Neutral stage

One of the first things I've noticed is that, during the early stages of the relationship, L is still very formal and quite a bit dismissive — even borderline rude. As his sugar fix gets sated by the MC's keen suggestions (Watari provides the ingredients, of course), L grows gradually more fond of them and wants to include the MC in his life with an enthusiasm I can only define as endearing.

L: Aren’t you bored? You don’t have to check in on me. L: Don’t you have stuff to do?

At the beginning, L is still wary of the MC on a personal level as they have absolutely no rapport beyond a partnership of circumstance and usefulness in the name of justice. He's quick to get bored and doesn't take it very well when he's given sweets he isn't craving. A bit childish, one could say, the way he sulks when the MC errs by not reading his mind.

L: Did I enjoy it? Let me just say “no comment”. (about sweets that weren't quite to his taste)

It's also very in-character for L to feel both annoyed at someone who is randomly calling him and be suspicious of their motives.

Growing interest

L: Spending the afternoon with you isn’t so bad. L: Even though it’s late, you’re not going to bed, huh? L: You must be a night owl, [F/N]. L: I’m a little curious about you, [F/N]. L: Are you having a good time? I’m just curious. L: You’re kind of… Ah, no, forget I said anything.

He starts addressing the MC by their first name as he becomes more enamoured. It's very sweet. I was pleasantly surprised at how attentive L becomes as he gradually comes to the conclusion that this is a person who understands him.

Mind, due to game mechanics the MC gains approval by giving L sweets, but from a narrative perspective what's really happening is that L not only feels seen and understood, but also accepted. And when that happens, he starts lowering his walls and relaxing.

As a plot device, I would say these are defining moments within L's thought process here; he's curious about the MC, finds them interesting enough to want to know more them and pursues that curiosity to see what they might have in common. It seems he's both a little baffled and content about this development.

L: [F/N], what do you think of when you see a sunset? L: What are you doing this afternoon? Oh, should I not have asked? L: Are you a night owl? Oh, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want.

It should also be noted that L is very mindful of boundaries. There's a tentative, almost shy attempt to connect. He's determined to indulge in his curiosity since the MC's attentiveness towards him shows an opening for closeness he's unused to (but is happy about) and to tend to his more immediate needs (i.e., food cravings), which in turn shows a genuine concern for him. Aside from Watari, I doubt anyone ever extended L similar kindness.

And it is in this determination to get to know the MC that I also find Mello's words (AA: LABB Murder Cases) that L is actually a very active, aggressive individual with absolutely no interest in social conventions perfectly represent him this game, as he navigates a growing fondness with expectation, curiosity and caution — on his own terms, while minding that he doesn't overstep.

L: Staying up late talking to you… It makes me feel calm.

I find it particularly heartbreaking how this confession of L unknowingly makes it more transparent how burdened he is. The spine curved by burdens unseen, the addiction to mind games and sweets; all of these point to stress factors which isolate him further, increasing the loneliness and lack of affection in his life.

That L feels the need to mention the MC makes him feel calm seems telling.

L: We’re both late workers, huh? That makes me happy. L: [F/N]… You’re pretty formidable. L: It’s reassuring to have a partner like you. You’re someone I can trust. L: Your feelings have been received. (Valentine's Day) L: The fact we’ve become so close was an unexpected development on my part.

And here it is, the acknowledgement just as L enters the highest stages of approval, where he expresses admiration and happiness at the close bond he developed with the MC.

"An unexpected development on my part" is quite the turn of phrase. One can only wonder, but I'd make an educated guess that L didn't see this coming because:

a) no one showed feelings towards him before. In his line of work, hidden behind a screen there is no time to indulge or get attached to anyone (he would mistrust their intentions anyway) and so L keeps everyone at arms length, sharing little more than a professional side of himself and fostering utilitarian relationships that help him win "games". L ultimately carries various burdens the average civilian would never be able to understand, all due to the pressure of his job. When failing at the "game of cat and mouse" means being responsible for the likely deaths of dozens, perhaps even hundreds or thousands, the stakes are up in unimaginable ways. What started as a thrill chase can have catastrophic consequences should L fail. That in itself alienates him from society at large. It's a game that L plays well and absolutely profits from, but it is also an indicative of two major flaws: his addictive personality and how he suppresses his emotions to carry on. Coincidentally, it's the expanded universe, in particular Another Note: LA BB Murder Case and L: Change the WorLd, that give us the best insight into this. This isn't too dissimilar to the struggles policemen face in high risk jobs or technicians who have to flag and delete sensitive content from online platforms. These people end up changed from what they see — and some carry traumas for the rest of their lives. That's not to say that L doesn't feel for others. He respects people whom he considers good or morally upstanding (Soichiro Yagami), who are competent in their line of work (Naomi Misora, Mogi), worthy of a second chance (Aiber and Wedy), who speak their minds, unafraid (Aizawa) or who are reliable, loyal to him as a person and not just his cause, in whom he can place his trust and feel secure won't betray him (Watari). The MC seems to fall mostly in the last category, though the relationship is rather precocious — and there seems to be a fair amount of wishful thinking and even projecting on L's part, since communication happens over a device connecting two people remotely. He falls both for the idea of the individual and their attentiveness towards him. When L mentions that they make him feel calm, I'd argue it comes both as a surprise to him and a confession of a closeness and safety he intimately craved — though I personally view L as someone who feels lonely and wanting healthy human contact, even if his social skills might not be the best (worsened by his distrust of people as a whole). Someone who ultimately is willing to adapt to him but whom he can adapt to, as well. Someone who sees him as a person and not an unfeeling robot. It's a POV that certainly challenges certain aspects of DN: Vol 13. I would further argue that L's portrayal has evolved significantly beyond the manga, and that his subsequent humanising is partially a result of the creative liberties the English translations took, as well as a more empathetic view of the character and hidden struggles. Each medium displays a separate iteration of L, with common variables.

b) L fosters distant relationships with others as a safety measure. Aside from Watari, L's contact with other people had always been distant, work-focused, perhaps even tainted by notions of his supposed creepiness as a kinky detective "who relished bizarre murders" (L:CtW). He's useful to the police because he achieves favourable results, though L is still viewed as "a human computer, capable only of measuring mass murders in terms of cold numbers, a reclusive sociopath" (L:CtW). He isn't necessarily liked; in fact, I would argue he rubs people the wrong way most of the time — as we can see during his interactions with the Task Force, during the events of Death Note. L is tolerated, a useful asset who is both mysterious and a pain to deal with. However, he's also put on a pedestal due to his status (i.e., Relight, the children at Wammy's). For the latter, he purposely shatters their idea of L as this unbeatable, paragon of justice by defining himself as a monster (anime), a dishonest cheating human being who hates losing (manga). I do share in lux-mea-lex's perspective on L doubting his own humanity and how it fuels a certain self-hatred for distrusting everyone around him. As lux mentions, "love comes with trust" and L is an excellent detective precisely because he questions everything and everyone — but it comes at a cost: his own loneliness. To draw a parallel, L's ultimate flaw — and that which makes him great at his job — is not unlike what we see during the moments of extreme anguish that Veronica Mars goes through in her personal relationships and which draw people away from her when she oversteps boundaries to prove she's not being lied to. That mistrust comes from experience, for people burdened with having seen too much and it's not unlike a kind of paranoia acquired when one has to deal with the worst of humanity on a daily basis.

Full reciprocity

L: [F/N] you’re the light that illuminates the dark night. That’s an exaggeration of course, but… L: What I need to live is glucose… and to talk to you. Nourishment for my brain and heart. L: When we’re together, I feel like there’s no problem we can’t solve. L: The afternoons I get to spend with you are precious to me.

When the MC achieves the stage of full reciprocity with L, he's very open to showing vulnerability and lowering his emotional defenses. I found this to be particularly sweet, as L is such a secretive man with so many hidden layers that him being willing to show such honesty with that one person he holds dear is incredible character development.

Beyond the game, I would say that achieving this stage with L would be much more difficult and, naturally, would involve going beyond picking the best sweets for him.

Something important to keep in mind is that L seems to value acts of service, as the people who interact with him more closely have some utility value and aid his work. However, L's life revolves around his work; he lives and breathes his detective work, which is why having a partner who brings him peace would be so important.

L: The time I spend with you is as important to me as the sweets. L: Good morning. It makes me really happy to see you here. L: For your sake… I’d think of a way to get through anything. We share a bond. L: When you have time, I’d like to take you to a shop that makes the best sweets. L: When you’re free, how about we play tennis together? I will have Watari reserve a court. L: If something were to happen to me… I want you, as the person I hold dearest, to carry on the L moniker. L: When my thoughts hit a dead end late at night, I feel like I’m stuck in a maze. But, having you here makes me feel reassured.

I also found it very sweet how L takes the initiative to plan for activities to do together with the MC. And how their presence, their reassuring words make him feel at ease. It seems that a loving relationship would give L a goal in life beyond his work.

Carrying on the L moniker... this quote might be the result of L's trust in the MC growing during the events of the game, or a sentiment L nurtures due to the MC being attentive enough to understand his specific cravings. But being able to read L and having the mental dexterity to become him are different things, as the latter involves a lifestyle that few would want and a complete focus on work. Even FBI agents have lives beyond work.

L: I learned from you that sweets are the bond that brings people together. L: You give me true peace of mind. No one could ever replace you. L: The way I am now, I… I can’t think straight when you’re not around. L: Being able to share this sunset with you, I couldn’t ask for anything more. L: You understand, don’t you [F/N]? What my heart so strongly desires is something more… L: When I talk to you, I feel like my senses are sharpened. Thanks to that, my radar has become more sensitive.

What a sweet guy. I love how L focuses on the little things and just wants to spend time together with the person he holds dearest. It's almost as if he daydreams a close, loving relationship — a trait that clashes with L's logical side.

This game and the expanded universe of Death Note have convinced me that there are many more layers to L than what we can see in the main story.

As Fu Takahashi, who plays L in the 2020 Japanese version of the musical, said:

“(...) A common thing about L among these versions is that, despite his superficial image as a smart guy who hates losing, he actually feels lonely and needs affection, I imagine. Perhaps he is an orphan – his character suggests so. He tries to control his emotions, like the feelings towards his parents, or romantic feelings; that’s why he is sort of dependent on games or battles of the mind. So I want to play L while thinking about the foundations on which his personality has been formed.”

I think this quote and the game are actually very telling of L's core personality and how it moves beyond that cold, calculating persona that defines him in the manga. It's also more in line with the characterisation that we see in the anime and the books, which help humanise L.

As I mentioned elsewhere, learning how to trust and be comfortable around someone else would do L wonders. Though that person would have to accept him for who he is and help him learn how to navigate a healthy relationship.

Perhaps the true test of love, for L, would even be for him to be confronted with someone who knows who he really is and, is not only kind to him, but also sees the best in him — regardless of his flaws. I think that we've had a glimpse of it in this game and it's a breath of fresh air.

#death note #l lawliet #death note: spiralling trap #spiraling trap #romance #death note meta #watari #character analysis #l lawliet headcanons #l lawliet x reader #in a way #kira #soichiro yagami #aizawa #naomi misora #aiber #wedy #task force

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itbmojojoejo · 5 months

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Get to know me!

Thank you for the tag lovely @fictionalmenjusthitdifferent, started a new post because that one was getting super long I hope you don't mind xo

Nickname: As an adult? None, but as a kid I was Shyla.

Sign: Cancer

Height: 5'11

The last thing I googled: Articulatory phonetics. Don't ask lmao

Amount of sleep: Currently in a 'broken sleep' era, nap for a couple of hours get up then nap again and I'm not happy about it. I love me a 8-10 hours of solid sleep but function well on 4-6.

Dream job: Rehabilitation/probation work or investigative journalism. I haven't decided.

Favorite song: This is always changing so my current 'on repeat' is Doja Cat - Paint The Town Red.

Movie/Book that Summarises Me: oo-er I don't know, but I do know that I fell in love with reading because of Terry Pratchett's The Wee Free Men was I was 7 and I adore his works. And film wise I was raised by Legend (1985), Labyrinth, and The Fifth Element sooo...I'm a fantasy girlie.

Favorite instrument: Electric guitar!!! Tickles my brain in all the right ways I love it.

Aesthetic: I would love to have the bravery to dress Whimsy Goth because that is what my heart wants but instead I dress like a teenage boy in cargo trackies and hoodies or leggings and a baggy tee, unless I'm going somewhere fancy.

Favorite authors: Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, Tess Gerritsen.

Random fun fact: I love ceramic work and want to own a kiln and potters wheel one day, it was my favourite part about doing art & design in college.

No pressure tags for funsies: @bhxrdy @gemini-mama @poetic-fiasco @deandoesthingstome @finanhasmyheart @babyblue711

#this was fun thank you xo #tag game

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kitsune-pop · 5 months

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astarion being extra and poetic: how wonderful the little things in life are; even in my immortality I find the fleeting whimsy to enjoy every moment

karlach, doing a handstand on a keg: WOOOOOOOO FUCK YEAH

#silly millie speaks #baldur's gate 3 #karlach #astarion

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queenshelby · 8 months

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Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART 32: FELINE LOVE

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Lots of Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Pregnancy Loss, Infertility

The crisp spring breeze lazily danced through the vibrant foliage, carrying with it the tantalising scent of blossoming fauna and the promise of new beginnings. It was almost noon of a day filled with endless possibilities.

As the clock struck twelve, Cillian appeared at your doorstep. He was punctual as usual, and his charming smile, etched with a hint of nervousness, illuminated his face as he patiently waited for you to answer the door.

As you swung open the door, your heart skipped a beat when you saw what he held in his hands.

"Flowers? Really?" you asked, chuckling. This was not what you had expected.

"Of course. I wanted to do this properly, you know," Cillian joked.

"You certainly know how to sweep a girl off her feet, Mr. Murphy," you said, playfully teasing him as you took the bouquet of flowers.

"You have seen nothing yet. Just wait until you find out where we are going," he replied with a mischievous twinkle in his striking blue eyes. You couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for this man as you exchanged warm greetings.

"Do tell. Where are we going?" you wanted to know, as the way he smirked at you was somewhat concerning.

Cillian's eyes sparkled with mischief as he leaned closer, his voice laced with a whimsical tone. "Let's just say that we are embarking on a journey to a place where whimsy intertwines with tranquillity and where the soft purrs of feline companions fill the air," he joked, and you let out some laughter.

"So poetic," you chuckled as your curiosity piqued, and you followed him to his car.

The car ride was filled with light banter and playful teasing, a harmonious symphony of laughter and shared moments. Cillian's cultured voice resonated through the vehicle, his words flowing effortlessly like honey from his lips. Your heart warmed at the sound, his intelligent and witty conversation captivating your attention.

"So, I saw you deleted your Instagram account," you pointed out as he was driving, causing Cillian to laugh.

"Yeah, it was funking weird. I never posted anything, and within a day, I had almost 3,000 follower requests. That's way too hard to keep up with, especially when you receive endless messages,"

Cillian let out a hearty laugh, his voice rippling through the car like a melodic echo. "3,000 followers? That's impressive, Cil. Maybe you should have become a social media influencer," you teased, your eyes twinkling with amusement.

"I think I am just too old for social media, you know," Cillian mused as he turned his gaze briefly towards the road before looking back at you.

"Perhaps you're right. It seems social media is a young person's game, old man," you teased him with a cheeky smile just before. Finally, he pulled up in front of a pretty-looking building right on the outskirts of Dublin.

"Well, I might be old, but clearly, I'm still making young man mistakes," he then pointed out, referring to the fact that he had let you go.

As you stepped out of the car, your eyes widened in surprise and delight. Before you towered a charming building painted in hues of pastel pink and adorned with whimsical cat-themed decorations. The cosy cat cafe stood invitingly, with an air of calm and tranquillity. The tantalising aroma of freshly brewed coffee mingled with the faint scent of catnip, creating an intoxicating blend that seemed to embrace your senses with open arms.

"You took me to a cat cafe? Why?" you mused, seeing that Cillian somewhat disliked feline companions.

"Because I know that you love cats, and I figured this would be a somewhat unique place for a date," Cillian told you before searching for an empty seat.

The space was adorned with soft, cosy seating areas adorned with colourful cushions that seemed to beckon you with their plush invitation. The sunlight bathed the room in a warm golden glow, streaming through the large windows and casting dancing shadows on the wooden floors.

As you and Cillian settled into a cosy nook, the soft cushions embracing you like a warm hug, your eyes fell upon a mischievous little feline perched on a windowsill. The cat, named Nuggets, had an air of disdain about him, his sleek ginger fur glistening in the sunlight. His piercing brown eyes seemed to hold a secret, a hidden depth of knowledge that made you curious.

As you observed Nuggets, a mischievous grin crept across your face. You were determined to win him over, to break through the barriers he had erected and show him the love he deserved. Cillian, on the other hand, seemed less enthused by the presence of cats. His elegant brow furrowed slightly, a subtle expression of mild distaste, as he cast a wary gaze towards Nuggets.

“I want to pet him,” you determined, and Cillian moved further into the back of his seat.

Cillian's eyes drifted from Nuggets to you, a look of mild apprehension etched across his face. "Are you sure about this? I mean, he doesn't exactly seem thrilled to see us," he remarked, his tone laced with a touch of scepticism.

You couldn't help but chuckle at Cillian's apprehension. "Oh, Cil, come on. Look at him; he's like a furry little grump. How can you resist him?" you exclaimed, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you observed Nuggets.

"Don't you think he is intriguing?" you gestured, and Cillian sighed softly, his fingers elegantly drumming on the armrest of the cosy chair. "I suppose he has an intriguing air of aloofness about him," he admitted, reluctantly giving in to your playful suggestion.

Cillian gazed at Nuggets with a mixture of wariness and curiosity. His eyes flickered with a muted intrigue as he observed the ginger feline, who seemed to be deliberately ignoring his presence. Nuggets, perched on the windowsill like a miniature king overlooking his kingdom, exuded an air of nonchalance, his tail flicking dismissively.

Cillian then glanced at you with a bemused half-smile, his voice laden with humour. "He seems like a furry ball of attitude. But I suppose there's something fascinating about it, and I can't help but wonder what goes on in that tiny cat brain of his," he mused.

You leaned closer to Cillian, a playful glimmer in your eyes as you whispered, "Watch and learn, Cil. I'm about to work my magic on Nuggets,” before you took a deep breath, ready to start your mission to win over the elusive Nuggets.

Slowly, you approached the windowsill where he perched, your movements deliberate and gentle. Your heart fluttered with anticipation as you extended your hand towards him, offering an invitation to connect. Nuggets, however, met your gesture with a disdainful flick of his tail, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. Undeterred, you spoke softly, your voice laced with warmth and affection.

Cillian chuckled softly, his eyes filled with amusement. "Alright, I'm ready to witness this miracle," he replied, settling back in his chair, his fingers intertwined as he observed your every move.

You tilted your head to the side, observing Nuggets with a mix of determination and admiration. "Oh, you're a feisty one, aren't you? But mark my words, my furry friend, you won't be able to resist my charm for long," you whispered, your voice filled with conviction.

Nuggets glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, a flicker of curiosity dancing within his gaze.

You continued to extend your hand towards Nuggets, determination etched on your face, your eyes filled with unwavering resolve. Nuggets, ever the embodiment of stubbornness, met your persistence with a sly glint in his eyes, his tail twitching with an air of defiance. The atmosphere in the cat cafe seemed to hold its breath as if waiting for the inevitable clash between your unwavering determination and Nuggets' unwavering independence.

Undeterred by Nuggets' initial display of resistance, you continued your approach. Your outstretched hand trembled slightly, a mixture of anticipation and determination coursing through your veins.

"Come on, Nuggets," you whispered, your voice filled with gentle encouragement and Nuggets, overcome by curiosity and perhaps a hint of loneliness, cautiously extended a paw towards your outstretched hand. His sharp claws grazed your skin, a gentle reminder of his feline nature. You held your breath, silently urging him to take the final leap of faith. And then, in a moment that felt suspended in time, Nuggets hesitantly pressed his nose against your palm, his rough tongue darting out to give it a tentative lick.

Nuggets's small, rough tongue made contact with your palm, his whiskers tickling your skin. The moment hung in the air, suspended as if time itself had frozen to witness the union between human and feline. A surge of joy flooded your being, intertwined with a sense of triumph. You had cracked Nuggets's tough outer shell and revealed the vulnerable heart beneath.

Cillian, observing the scene unfold before his eyes, couldn't help but chuckle. Cillian's laughter rippled through the air like velvet, filling the cosy nook with an aura of light-heartedness. "Well, it seems you've cracked the code," he remarked, a trace of amusement dancing in his striking blue eyes. "I must admit, I didn't think Nuggets would succumb to your charming ways so easily," he pointed out before he leaned back in his chair, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he watched your interaction with Nuggets.

"Come, have a pet too, Cil," you gestured, causing Cillian to furrow his eyebrows.

"You know I do anything for you, right?" Cillian laughed before moving towards you and Nuggets carefully.

His fingers trembled as they made contact with Nuggets' fur, and a jolt of electricity seemed to course through him, igniting a spark of connection. A mischievous glimmer danced within Nuggets' eyes as if he had finally found an adversary worthy of his attention. Cillian's lips curled into a small smile, a mix of amusement and surprise playing across his features.

"Does he like me, you think?" Cillian questioned as he cautiously stroked Nuggets' fur, his movements slow and deliberate as if afraid to shatter the delicate connection that had formed between them.

Nuggets, seemingly torn between his inclination to preserve his grumpy facade and his growing fondness for Cillian's touch, emitted a low rumble of contentment, a subtle acknowledgement of the actor's presence.

"Yes, I think he does like you. He is purring. Well done, Cil." you smiled, and Cillian's expression softened, his fingers continuing their slow, rhythmic movements along Nuggets' ginger fur.

"Well, well, it seems I've won the affection of this little miscreant," he remarked, his voice infused with a touch of amusement. Nuggets, ever the enigma, purred in response, the sound reverberating through the air with a deceptive sweetness.

Cillian continued to stroke Nuggets' fur, his touch gentle and soothing. "You know, this cat reminds me of someone I know," he remarked, a playful glint in his eyes. "Perhaps Nuggets and I share a common trait — a touch of grumpiness hidden beneath our charming exteriors." He chuckled softly, the sound resonating with a hint of self-deprecation while you rolled your eyes.

With a smirk, you replied, "Oh, Cil, I think you and Nuggets share more than just a touch of grumpiness. But that's what makes you both so endearing." You nudged Cillian playfully, your eyes brimming with affection.

Cillian chuckled his laughter like a melody that filled the cat cafe, intertwining with the soft purrs of the resident feline companions.

"Perhaps you should adopt him? Nina would love a pet, and I believe that every child, no matter how old, needs a companion," you suggested, and Cillian's eyebrows shot up in surprise at your suggestion, his eyes widening as he considered the implications.

"You want me to adopt him?" Cillian asked, and his question hung in the air, a moment pregnant with possibility. You gazed at him, your eyes filled with a mix of excitement and determination. "Yes, Cil. Think about it. Nuggets need a home and love, and you have plenty of both to offer," you replied, your voice infused with conviction.

Cillian's gaze lingered on Nuggets, his brow furrowed as he mulled over your suggestion.

Cillian's eyes flickered with a mixture of uncertainty and contemplation, and the air in the cat cafe seemed to vibrate with anticipation as if awaiting the verdict that would determine the course of their lives. After a moment of silence, Cillian let out a soft sigh, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. "Alright," he finally conceded, his voice laced with a hint of resignation and a touch of amusement.

Cillian's agreement hung in the air like a delicate spiderweb, fragile yet filled with possibility. You couldn't help but let out a small squeal of excitement, your eyes dancing with anticipation.

"I will be your designated cat sitter if you go away, working on movies and stuff," you told him, and Cillian's eyes widened at your enthusiastic offer, a mixture of amusement and apprehension playing across his features.

"I couldn't think of anyone better for the job," Cillian confirmed before making another suggestion. "And perhaps, sometimes, you could come by and visit him, even while I am there," Cillian suggested, the corners of his mouth curling upwards in a smirk.

"Well, maybe if you cook me dinner, I will. I will play with Nuggets while you prepare the food," you smirked at Cillian before admitting that you missed his cooking.

"Alright. How about Monday, then? Dinner at my house at eight? We could even go to the fair before then if you like. Just as friends, of course" Cillian suggested as his eyes twinkled with anticipation, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"Monday it is then. Fair and dinner at eight," you agreed with excitement.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you #cillian murhpy #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian x reader #cillian x fem!reader

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aceofspades-universe · 4 months

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Some HCs about Tim cuz he’s so deceptively simple and i luv him:

-grew up in a struggling home and was working since he legally could as a young teenager

-dropped out of high school to work a second job and help at home

-moved out as soon as he physically could to be “one less mouth to feed” to his family

-has been homeless. Has lived in tent communities and found a second family in them

-managed to get himself off the ground by getting an low-rent place with people he made friends with in those communities

-managed to get to a point where he can survive on only one job

-immediately helped Steve when he first saw him because of his experiences and being able to empathize instantly

-after living through this, he doesnt have that fear of “strange people” a lot of ppl have, and instead gravitates towards it.

-he gets frustrated by Steve’s antics bc of his work ethic, but openly loves Steve’s absurdity and whimsy. (Aka, his fond tone when he says “Weird vibes on this guy, I’m telling ya” at the end of GREASEPAINT)

-since he can finally slow down, now that he has some stability, he really enjoys the mundane. He’s the type to pause at any random point to enjoy the moment; the type to stop and smell the flowers. He’s mesmerized by small and common joys, but doesn’t linger or wax poetic, just experiences the present

-he doesnt really dream big; doesnt have huge goals for his life. He’s very happy with his humble job, working alongside people he loves

#bigtop burger #mydeckofcards #i love him #tim bigtop burger

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sagau-my-beloved · 1 year

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More or less a continuation of the Venti jealousy oneshot

Warnings: general sagau, codependency, obsession

Morning came all too quickly, light trickling in as it usually did without any care towards your desires, the idea seemed almost poetic in a way. The entire world morphed to suit your whims, yet the stars remained as uncaring as ever.

You awoke with a foggy mind, a mixture of dream and reality swirling through what little consciousness you currently held. You were quick to notice a heavy weight as well, one that lay unmoving atop you.

It only took a second for you to see Venti's body completely tangled in yours, limbs sprawled about, legs intertwined, and his head resting softly on your chest.

A recollection of exactly what happened the night prior finally started to crystallize, all the words, both spoken and unspoken, that were exchanged...

He looked so peaceful like that, his eyes fluttered closed, lips slightly parted, so content, as if in that moment he wasn't a God that had borne witness to countless bloodshed, that had a hand in causing it. He was simply your Venti, an unburdened creature so full of the whimsy you found yourself lacking.

You gently caressed his hair, feeling him stir slightly at the feeling, seemingly pulling himself out of whatever slumber originally occupied his mind.

"You're here..."

Who gave him permission to sound that adorable when half awake, seriously, you needed to have a long conversation with whoever felt it fitting to give an Archon the ability to melt hearts so easily.

"Of course I am." You cooed, cupping his cheek as he leaned into your hand.

Venti immediately pressed a soft kiss to your palm with closed eyes, a warm act that almost caused butterflies, if he hadn’t had done it over a million times before.

You returned the act with a soft smile, befitting of your title, as he looked up at you with beautiful bright eyes.

"I missed you..." He mumbled, leaning up to kiss you, getting close enough to allow you to close the final gap.

You laughed slightly, the sound ringing out across the room as Venti cherished it.

"I've been with you this entire time."

He only chooses to cling closer, nuzzling his head into your neck, "I really missed you..."

He was always like this the mornings you spent together, so desperate to have you all to himself. You once had someone walk in on a morning like this, come to check on you since he had been hogging you for the entirety of it, and that poor person had a door slammed directly in their face.

Sadly, you couldn't indulge him as heavily this time, some mixture of hunger and anxiety from where you left the previous night’s conversation prompted you to attempt to wiggle your way out of his grasp, an attempt he didn't take kindly to.

"You're not leaving, are you?" Venti asked with a pout, obvious displeasure bleeding through his voice.

"I'm sorry," it was a sheepish apology, containing traces of the underlying emotions you were attempting to conceal, "I've got meetings to attend today, I should really get ready."

Of course that wasn't a full lie, there was the meeting on the new irrigation system, the one tackling the problem of the increasing elemental slimes, the festival planning committee for the new holiday that your followers were all so insistent on creating for the day of your arrival... It was going to be a busy day. Venti could sense the use of an excuse though, pouncing on it with a dejected expression.

"Do you not want to be here, with me?"

He definitely had a way of cutting to the root of the problem didn’t he, forgoing all the flowery embellishments in favor of simply asking a question you couldn't possibly answer.

You did answer though, settling on what might be seen as the least direct and most evasive.

"It's nothing like that, truly. I just can't allow you to hog me today."

Venti let out a hum in response, doing little to loosen his hold on you.

"Or..." He started, wrapping his arms around you fully, effectively trapping you further, "You could let me take you out to Windrise, or maybe Stormbearer Point? We never go out that far out together."

His voice was a mixture of hope and need, played off with the same carefree tone he was known for. That sounded like an altogether pleasant outing really, but it certainly wasn't something in the cards for you today, or this week, or probably this month.

Venti could sense your answer before your mouth even opened to relay it, and yet his expression didn't match what you were expecting it to fall to, the same needy and down stricken completely heart-wrenching face he made every time you denied him of your presence, in its place was something akin to a hardened determination, something that could be considered dangerous.

"And what if I just kept you here instead, hmm?"

You gave him a curious look, tilting your head to the side in an attempt to fully understand exactly what he was implying, him matching your expression with a mischievous glint and rather cheeky smile.

"Oh my dear divine creator, do tell me you'll indulge your most loyal, trusted, and loved follower?"

You stifled a giggle at his tone, mentally picturing the image of exactly how Zhongli would react if he heard such 'blasphemy' come out of the mouth of his former companion in arms.

"Those are bold words you know."

Venti feigned offense at the implication, "Yet true all the same, right? I am your favorite, aren't I? You'll say it won't you?"

He was practically begging for praise, mumbled words of pleas in between him exercising his hard-earned privilege of being allowed to press his lips against your skin, a privilege unique to him and very few others, and he certainly made full use of it.

You wanted to protest, refute all of it, the notion that you would be spending any part of your day indulging him instead of attending to your much more important work, the idea that you held him on some sort of pedestal above your other followers, but it seemed particularly difficult to actually get the words out as Venti was intent on filling every one of your thoughts with how gently he touched you. His fingers were softly pressed against your back, certainly not demanding, never forceful, never anything but loving, loving and desperate that is.

"Please," it was practically a breathy moan, "Please look at me."

You hadn't even realized your eyes had wandered off, to a safer and less intense place than his gaze.

You hesitantly moved them back, intentionally avoiding his own eyes in favor of watching how his hair swayed with every subtle movement. He seemed content with that.

"Don't ever stop looking at me."

The way he said it, with a broken voice, as if your attention was lifesaving, as if he'd truly and utterly suffer without it, a living death.

He was yours, all yours, nothing but yours. Yours to do anything with, yours to own and use. But it was all pointless if you discarded him, if you chose not to look at him, not to acknowledge him, to deprive him of the very thing he lived off.

Back the way things were at the beginning, him being simply another face among a sea of people who worshiped you, how he died a little inside every time your eyes simply brushed over him, how he had to claw and fight his way to the position he was currently in, and how he would do it again a million times over.

Oh how he would easily morph himself into whatever you wanted. Appearance, personality, moral code, it was all worthless, all adaptable. Maybe you've grown to find his voice grating, or perhaps you're attracted to a more refined look, he saw you stealing glances at Diluc the other day after all... Do you consider him lazy? Should he take a more active role as an Archon like Ei?

You watched him spiral, not entirely sure what it was he was over-analyzing, but concerned nonetheless.

"Venti?"

Your voice brought him back almost immediately, eyes snapping to attention as if ready to hang on to any word you could possibly speak, any noise at all that would exit your parted lips worth as much as any gospel.

"Are you alright? You seem kind of... stressed."

Venti savored the individual sounds of the syllables, simply the way you spoke them, the slight twinge of a foreign accent that didn't quite belong to the land of Teyvat, one that he could never hope to imitate or hear in any other person, something that was uniquely you. It took a moment longer for him to register the syllables in relation to each other, the words they spelled out and the implications behind the subtle rises and falls in your voice throughout the sentences. You had a way of making everything sound like the most beautifully written song. A single line, one that he must have heard other variations of a million times before, so easily reducing all of his handcrafted ballets to dust.

Venti blinked owlishly for a moment, as if not quite sure how to respond, seemingly unable to even fathom following your beautiful symphony with one of his own creation.

You could see it now, the way he was regressing, receding into the same mindset he had as a simple wind wisp, the form you had first met him in, or so you were told.

You briefly thought back to that moment, how he explained it with sad eyes and a reminiscent smile. That was a difficult day for you both.

But the more immediate problem was how your beloved Archon was quickly losing touch with reality.

You could see it in the way his eyes seemed to glaze over, how they unfocused themselves when acknowledging anything that wasn't you, how he looked as if he wasn't even aware of any of it.

You weren't blessed with the ability to read minds, but you were sure that if you exercised such a skill in his current presence, the only thing that you would hear would be your name on infinite repeat, with the same adoring tone that displayed all over his face.

He was particularly cute when love drunk, to say anything less would be a blatant lie. Simply watching how his eyes sparkled brought an unconscious smile to your face, along with a strong feeling of wanting nothing more than to simply hold him and love him, to give in to him. It was a very dangerous feeling, you knew that by heart.

You let out a soft sigh, a noise that caused him to immediately perk up, filled with an obvious desire to be told what to do, what exactly you wanted from him, what he could do to make you happy.

"I'm supposed to be somewhere in about fifteen minutes you know."

You intentionally avoided saying anything about Kaeya and the whole Treasure Hoarder situation, but it somehow seemed as if Venti knew, which was rather obvious in the way his face immediately darkened.

"Stay." It wasn't spoken as a suggestion, but not quite as a demand either. "I'll deal with him myself tomorrow."

You weren't quite sure you liked the way he phrased that, implying his intention was to deal with Kaeya and not the situation—

As it was always better to attempt damage control before the damage had even occurred, you did your best to mumble out a few excuses laced with apologies as you attempted to once again wiggle out of the sheets, and eventually, with a push more forceful than you had originally intended, you managed to do just that. The end result, however, was less than desirable: Venti on the floor with an incredibly shocked expression.

As much as you did want to offer to take him with you, allow him the honor of indulgence, an honor only you could grant, you weren't as sure as you would have been comfortable in the notion that he wouldn't attempt to shoot Kaeya on sight.

So instead, you opted for a sorry smile, followed by a quick dash to and out the door before he could even blink, much less protest.

Venti stayed on the floor for quite a while after, slowly coming to terms with the fact that you weren't coming back. He was rather sure that if you were still here, you'd think he mimicked a kicked puppy, and the comparison wouldn't be too far off.

He contemplated sitting there all day, imagining the loving expression you'd wear when coming back to find him in the exact same place you left him. That, in itself, would make it more than worth it.

But then again, how much happier might you look if you came back to flowers? A bundle of Mondstadt's finest ones at that, and he could even add some crystal cores in, as you always seemed so enamored by the Crystalflies.

Or maybe you'd prefer a nice meal? It did pain him to think of how often you didn’t focus on your health, so preoccupied, so diligent to take care of everyone else. Venti made a sour face at the thought, he would continue to stand by the statement that none of them deserve it, especially at the cost of your well-being.

It was difficult to stop the rapid-fire ideas that seemed to keep multiplying, everything he could do in the span of time before your re-arrival. But Venti was fully prepared to tackle them, all while daydreaming of the praise you just might give him in return.

#genshin impact #sagau #genshin venti #venti x reader #genshin x reader #yandere genshin au #yandere genshin x reader #why did this take so long oml #hi yes I've risen from the grave #I actually didn't write this in one sitting like i usually do #Because it ended up way longer than I was intending #So I'm hoping it doesn't sound too choppy or anything

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creatingnikki · 7 months

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I sit there across you in the café that we usually hang out at writing you a letter. You're leaving the city. Yes, that doesn't mean that you are leaving my life. But leaving is still leaving. And so I have to write you a letter, I want to. But life has been chaotic and heavy and I didn't get the time to do this before meeting you now. All I could do was grab my letter writing supplies and stuff them in my bag as I left home tonight to come see you. So once I reach, I ask 15 minutes of you to write the letter in real time. And once I am done putting it in the envelope I realize I don't have a sticker to seal it the way I usually do and you say, 'wait a minute' and reach for your wallet.

You are giggling and I begin to giggle too even though I don't know what it's going to be. But it's always been that way with you. It's light, it's laughter, and it's warmth. Always? Well, a big chunk anyway. I smile and giggle and laugh in anticipation of smiling and giggling and laughing.

You remove a band aid from your wallet and then we giggle some more. I take it. Of course, I do. With you, I'll let myself do such things that make me forget that I am 26. Or that perhaps let me be without having to be something else. I begin to unwrap the band aid and you start recording me. The whole thing becomes a funny little sweet moment and an analogy of this band aid signifying healing between us. After all, we have recently reconnected after months of trying to be strangers.

I say this is all so poetic. I've said it before. I say it all the time. I view my life and life in general through the lens of poetry and literature and books. Everything is a scene from a story. A few minutes later another such moment is shared and before I can say anything you say, 'this is so cinematic'. That's when you make the observation and say, everything you call poetic I call cinematic. And that very observation and the articulation of that observation as we begin to leave the café post midnight is poetic to me.

Poetic or cinematic, whatever we were, whatever we are, I'm glad we crossed paths and attempted healing. This is a goodbye, not the goodbye. From the minute we met, you have been helping me fight my cognitive distortions. Why? Because you are healthy and normal. All I have wanted this year are normal experiences and normal people. Normal does not mean all good and smooth sailing. To me, it only means things not blowing out of proportion or going bat shit crazy. Things not resembling the arc of a book or a movie.

I've been consciously realizing lately how seeing my life and myself from the lens of a story and being the mc is not helpful. It gives my life this fanciful flavour and adds whimsy but with that comes unnecessary plot twists and agony.

"Normal" can also be poetic/cinematic. I don't need to be an unreliable narrator for that or let wild, vicious people in my life. I don't have to take whacky decisions and put up with things for character development. My life can be normal — light, full of laughter, and warmth. Without it having to be blindingly bright, headache-inducing laughter, and scorching warmth.

Thank you. Thank you for helping me come to that realization. I'm glad you exist.

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limpfisted · 6 months

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this is not a vagueblog at any wyll warriors, as i know the subject of parental abuse is very heavy, and i believe everyone has the right to their own opinions and experiences with fiction, BUT. in my opinion, for me, personally.

its ok to scold ur kid. in fact, scolding ur kid and teaching them right from wrong can be important. this is medieval times, baldurs gate is a dangerous place. even tho ulder was a busy man—and single fathers? are still allowed to have jobs and hobbies and their own goals? beyond simply taking care of their children 24/7? he still DID make time for wyll, and rheres a whole JOURNAL full of their memories together. its not just ine memory. theres pages and pages of it. they spent time together.

there are THOUSANDS of flaming fists. all under ulder’s control. theyre corrupt, a lot of them, are lawful evil, and a lot of them are dumbasses like the dude we saw harassing the sex worker in the carress. they odten switch sides to the guild, ulders sworn enemy, at the drop of a coin purse.

i, personally, as a father, would choose wyll. but thats not an easy choice. being a parent is hard. we’ll never know what ulder would have done if he had known the truth about mizora—but also, ulder fights valiantly in lturel when it is taken to the hells, and he stays behind to help the refugees. he was misled, he was tricked.

even if he wasnt, he has a responsibility to this city. he chose this, his whole life. hes not the perfect father, or the perfect man. there is no way to be a perfect father, or a perfect man. (u still shouldnt disown ur kid. but stories are ultimately about bad choices.)

but he loved wylls sense of adventure and fantasy, and he encouraged it. baldurs gate is a dangerous place where u can literally get stabbed all the time and upper city nobles can only really be in the lower city with guards like karlach. but wyll has happy memories, of being a rambunctious child, where he was safe, and close with his father, and loved.

wylls sense of whimsy literally comes from ulder! never forget the monster mermaid sex book was ulders! never forget that ulder fell in love with the woman with the wishing tree, he believed in balduran, and baldurs gate, and the heart of the gate

wyll and ulder’s story is bittersweet. love is hard. family is hard. if it was easy, if everyone was perfect, we’d all be robots.

wyll doesnt HAVE to forgive his father. but he loves him. there will always be great expectations from his father, there will always be distance. they are not connected at the soul or the hip.

but their love for each other matters, and they are so willing to try.

theyre a precious family, and tbh!!! really good representation?, a young Black queer dude and his dad, who loves him and supports him, and he is told he is allowed to marry whoever he wants and be whoever he wants to be with ulder’s blessing. (theyre torn apart by abuse, he experiences teen homelessness, but thats bc of his abuser isolating him. n he doesnt have to forgive his father for that. being disowned is also a real representation experience, and its one that can map on to queer/Black/disabled teen experiences, and i would never like, go. You Must Forgive Ulder And Think He’s The Best. but its really not ulder’s fault,p this happened, he really thought wyll sold out this city, he didnt know.)

like. they love each other, they get to have some of the best and most poetic, well-written dialogue in the game, it matters that they love each other, it matters that ulder had to work so hard to be grand duke and still had to make so many sacrifices

ulder is a good character in murder in baldur’s gate, but he is given so much heart, so much intimate joy and love in baldur’s gate 3. like compare any codex entry in the game to his journal entry about wyll. compare wyll’s voice when he says, “my father always said” to anyone talking about their abusers.

wyll was allowed to be a child! he was also respected as someone capable of having responsibilities and accountability for their own actions, and so sometimes he was scolded. he seems to love that he was scolded? tbh, it feels like such a love language between them. wyll gets into trouble (on purpose. why would he steal a peach. just pay for the peach.) he gets a scolding! kids do that, parents do that.

we dont know, even, what that scolding meant—and may i remind The Court, wyll was a public figure, just as his father was, and he was still allowed to have so much freedom to get into trouble. he gets a scolding, but thats it. he doesnt even really talk about any fancy upper city stuff, besides like, puke in duke portyr’s bushes, lol and that was grand duke of baldurs gate at the time. u need a lil scolding for that! and whose to say there wasnt a pat on the head or a squeeze on the shoulder afterwards?

ulder expects certain behaviors from wyll because he wants the best for him, because he believes in him.

hes the pride of the gate. he has pride in his son, and if u are proud of urself, if u love urself, u respect iurself and other ppl.

wyll had a happy childhood yall, and ulder raised him right, to have good morals and values a sense of duty and responsibility and JOY, it didnt pop out of a vacuum

also. it does matter that ulder goes. “my precious son, i will spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to u. how can u ever forgive me?” he doesnt EXPECT forgiveness. he KNOWS he hasn’t earned it. he WANTS to atone. he knows he made a mistake and did something unforgivable. even tho he did it for very reasonable reasons

wyll doesnt have to forgive him! but like. its complex. its a good ass story. wyll has a good ass story

#this is an ulder fanblog sorry #ooc #hc

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