I miss …. Him (ft a couple oc’s)

you want to play bitey?

I'm so sorry for not posting anything in a while *SOBS*

I've been having the worst artblock this month. Trying to make attempts to climb out!! I just wanna make and post funny drone art ackkkk

In the meantime, I think it'd be fun to answer some asks! so if anyone wants to send me any they can. :0

sometimes i cheat my sims to full term + birth + age that bebe up and then check them out in cas if I’m reallllly desperate to see how they’re gonna look 😩 the self-restraint it has taken me to not check all my townies’ babies…. playing a realistic lifespan is rough

Oh my god YOU TEMPT ME!!! 😭

So like…do the genetics of the child generate when the sim becomes pregnant? Or when they give birth? Because if I did that and then went back in time to when Zelda is still pregnant I think the child might end up looking different? 🧐

But I’m going to have a tinyyyyy amount of willpower and wait until the Bebe is born….then y’all best believe I’m going to age them up in CAS immediately to see what they look like as a YA!

there's normal thought exercise questions to be had about fave charas like 'what would your fave do in X situation' or 'does your fave like Y why or why not' but the most important question to me i could ever answer about my faves is 'do they like shadow the hedgehog and is it purely ironic or do they have all 326 route titles memorized'

I just saw Kimi no mune lalala and High touch used for Amourshipping amv and some Pearlshippers were arguing that song is not for amourrshipping what are your thoughts?

Absolute EVIL. first the crosstags now this why some amours think amourshipping is so boring that they can't make stuff for it without bringing other ships into it?

Kimi no Mune Lalala I can give a pass (it's a vague enough song) but HIGH TOUCH???? The song Dawn herself sings??? Is the same as taking Dori Dori and saying it's Misty's theme song. It's just... why? It makes no sense??

Also, they realize that by using those songs for their own ship they're pretty much confirming "Pearlshipping canon" right? saoidjsioajdias Like, you don't use a song intrinsicately connected to another relationship for a romantic one unless you think that that song is about that in the first place :3c

hey Sam I just wanted to pop in and ask how are you feeling? It’s always good to check on people❤️

could be worse but i'm doing better by locking myself up in my room and watching movies and low key critique them. just giving myself something to do when i'm not cleaning. and so far i've been watching animated movies of my childhood since youtube surprisingly still has the full movies uploaded and ironically there's a lot of snow white here tho she's not my fave disney princess. i loved 3 of these direct to video snow white movies and can't wait for that disney live action of snow white to get thoughts about that one

Sorry for delays and such...puppo still getting use to the new house and such. It’s been an all hands on deck situation with her, but she is such a cutie pie soooo she gets a pass.

Thoughts on godhood? (That I’m sure you’re very normal about)

Thank you for asking!!!!!

I feel like, on a certain level, gods are a Concept. Maybe given form, with personality and thoughts beside it, but at their very core there is still Something they represent, a Thing that they Are. What it is to be a person is different from what it is to be a person for us.

What would it be like to be a mortal becoming a god? As mortals think of you less and less as a person and more as a concept, so much so you shed your own layers and become that thing? Maybe even after you've already died? Would you feel yourself becoming simplified into a story? A character?

Then imagine a god becoming mortal. It would hurt, I think. You used to sense So Much around the world and now that sense is just gone. Mortals don't have it. You would feel so much smaller because gods can be All Of A Thing in a way mortals simply can't. Cut off from everything you once were.

But somewhere in between the sensory deprivation and a new, desperate fear of death, you're becoming something new. Many somethings new. That couldn't happen, not this quickly, not like this, before. No longer just artist or lover or fear or anything but all of them at once, maybe more. Cities look different than maps, you learn, and people mean more when suddenly you're no more yet finally just as much as any of them.

Maybe all you want is to go back, to be the one thing you were meant to be. Mortals aint meant to be shit, and now you've made something of yourself. You did that. Not the collective people. You. Even if you put your entire being into it, could you really be folded back down? What a horrible aching loss. What a terrifying new brilliant beggining.

Gods can die. You knew that. But now you're not sure if they can really live.

Re your update news. Plz sleep and hydrate and take care of yourself. Just feel better soon! Your story can wait and health comes first.

I hope you're able to relax and just like sleep.

Ah, doing my best to sleep and hydrate a bit today. Unfortunately this is midterms week and I really wanna avoid having to reschedule all of them like I did last semester, that was a pain.

And I really really wanna post the next chapters :( but I'm only halfway through ch. 2 and ch. 3 deserves so much love and attention to really give it the impact I'm aiming for- ah, it's unfortunate.

But thank you anon <3

something shifted on december 24th because i've done all of this (and more!!) since then...

I AGREE SO MUCH THAT VENTI IS A SWITCH. Also please do the Venti vs Barbatos comparison if you’d like 😳😳 We need more Venti content

Venti being a switch is just so logical. Honestly I'm surprised it's not a more commonly used headcanon.

I'd be willing to write the Venti/Barbatos comparison I just wanna know that you're not a minor. I don't need a specific age just need to know that I'm not writing this for a minor. You can just say eighteen or above.

Thank you for answering my asks! I agree, Alyssa wanting to belong to something bigger to fill in a void of loneliness sounds like a better fit than simply being an attention seeker solely for the sake of validity.

I've been thinking of what will happen after Alyssa's bullying scandal is exposed and I'm starting to wonder if Shinae's bullying accusations will be brought up in tandem. Both girls covered in similar rumors and confronting a shared past, highlighting a key difference between them: true friendship. Which I hope is one of the possible or many catalysts for Alyssa.

No matter what reputation she gains in public, Shinae will be surrounded by her friends who genuinely know and support her. A full on Shinae Defense Squad! Meanwhile, Alyssa will have a fan base turning against her, except for the stans who have a parasocial relationship towards her.

So, what will Alyssa do when she's cornered again? Will she dig her heel in, clinging to all these strangers who only see her as an image, in a desperate attempt to not lose all she has left? Or will she realize all of her former friends are standing together while she has no one and have a wake up call? 1/2

You're totally welcome! I say it all the time but it's true: I get so excited that anyone wants to talk to me about this series and reads my really long, rambling thoughts lol. I'm always happy to answer asks and share my thoughts and ideas!

I'm putting the second half of your ask under the cut. While it's not totally spoilery, it still mentions FP content so we'll be safe and throw it all under the cut!

(This is a bit fast pass spoilery). Then what if the rumors of her sexuality come to light and they step in to protect her. Will she realize it then? What she truly lost was not fame? 2/2

So I, and many others, probably including you, have figured that if Alyssa has a big career-changing scandal, it will likely be about bullying allegations, because that's a big deal in Korea and it can really make or break someone's career, especially if it's true. But I won't lie - ep 196 made pause and wonder if it could be worse. Now, I'm going to straight up say, I really, really, really hope if it turns out Alyssa is, in fact, queer, I really hope she is not outed via a scandal, but also.... it would be one way to ruin her career, wouldn't it? It just doesn't sit well with me - I'd rather she get to embrace that herself one day than have it outed against her will. For that reason, I like to hope that it will be just bullying rumors.

Once upon a time, I had written about how I thought there was a possibility that if Alyssa's past came to light, Nol might see himself in her, but that was long before he finally talked to Shinae, so, lol I think that's all out the window! He's really been giving me whiplash this last year lol. That said, I've never considered if it would wind up involving Shinae. Part of me is inclined to think no, it wouldn't, because she's not the one who is in the limelight, but the more I think about it, the more I think it would at least involve her at the "local" level - whether it's just that someone slips up and says something, that the news reveals enough details to connect to Shinae, whether Alyssa herself actually names her. It certainly wouldn't be Alyssa's finest hour, that's for sure.

As always, I think these scenarios always depend on variable factors - like would Nol still be "dating" Alyssa at the time of the scandal, for instance. I still think there's an opportunity for Nol to see himself in Alyssa, especially because we still don't know what his altercation with Kousuke was like (was he provoked, was he cornered, was he acting out of malice or was it an accident?). I don't think it has to be either or, though, right? He can both see himself in Alyssa and what sympathize with what it's like to be painted as something you aren't, cornered into something you never meant to, while also acknowledging he is trying to be above all that - you know, supposing that's his choice. I still don't know if we are getting the antihero arc that everyone has anticipated for Nol, since I feel like the big emphasis on Shinae revealing to Nol how she mirrors him is meant to imply that he may try to find a way to leave all of that behind, and to be a version of himself that he chooses to be, as opposed to the one he's been painted as. But what I'm getting at is, I think there's yes the potential that while he could sympathize with Alyssa, he could also be part of a support system to Shinae, because humans are complex. But I think that could flip a switch for Alyssa.

Again, there's a lot of factors here, like... she and Nol have discussed the nature of their relationship, so there's no real expectation that he would take her side just because she's his girlfriend or anything, and they already have a lot of contention between them, but I think there's still room for to feel... I don't think betrayed is the right word because that's a little dramatic, but I think there's a lot of complicated emotions that could arise from that, right? Picture it from Alyssa's angle: she wound up wrapped up in something she never intended and was desperate trying to save face even though her choices were not the kindest, they were what she thought was right in the moment, and in the end she wound up hurting someone she (presumably) never intended to hurt, did something she never meant to do. And though she's not in love with Nol, and maybe they aren't even truly friends, wouldn't you feel some kind of complex feelings akin to betrayal for him to support the person directly involved with this? It's an interesting scenario and I DO like to hope it would make her think about true friendship. I can't say I'm confident it could make her reassess her approaches, but that's more because I cannot say I'm confident about anything Alyssa might do lol. In such a scenario, I'd hope she'd finally understand what it means to have a handful of people in your corner, rather than a lot of people who only care about one facet of you, a persona that may not even be real. In fact, I think this would be SUCH an interesting thing to explore, but I don't think we'll really get a chance to without adding 3 more years to the story lol, but isn't there something compelling in that kind of lonely story? Once again, this is a reason I've really come to love Alyssa as a character - there is SO MUCH that can be done with her!

I do think, though, you are right in that it needs to be more than just that fall from grace and finding herself alone - being juxtaposed against someone like Shinae who would have people supporting her, reassuring her. It's one of the best ways for her to really face that void she's trying to fill and finally understand what she really seeks.

Now, trying to tie this back into the sexuality, god, if done right, it could be so tender, couldn't it? I know I said I'm opposed to Alyssa being outed by someone else, because it doesn't sit right with me, and that's such a dangerous thing for someone if they are surrounded by people who don't support her, but also a story is not about the "right" choices because as we've learned lol in general, people do NOT make the right choices. So the idea of Alyssa being outed but defended by people who she doesn't have a good track record with, because they are, at heart, good people who think it's unfair to do that to someone, to reveal something so private before they are ready, makes me want to cry, frankly lol. For Alyssa, she'd be getting another taste of what she lost, of what she has willingly thrown away, and yes, I think that could actually do a good job of making her see that.

Ultimately a thought I have about most characters (and, frankly, people in general) is that often we have to go through something to change, or to finally see and face the ugly in ourselves, to address something we've been avoiding, to take on something we are running from. It is human nature to be so wrapped up in our own experiences that we forget others have experiences and biases of their own. For Nol to change, to be more honest with himself, he essentially had to "lose it all". To be fair, he sort of threw in the towel himself, decided to be exactly what he's been painted as and give up his efforts to try to have a better life - but that's still prompted by two points of "failure". He was a good person at the formal, tried to save a friend, and in the end he couldn't do it and she got hurt, plus the drug and assault charges. He was pushed to the brink and even when being a person who cars, even when being a good friend, it backfired. Likewise, it blew up his option to go away and escape, to attend his father's alma matter and not only prove to everyone he was more than they believed he was, but to find peace for a while. For him, he lost things because he dared to defy this life so he decided to concede, and in conceding he loses his escape, his chance to maybe make his father proud, and he lost his friends, because in his eyes he was not worthy of them and would only endanger them. Only then, after listening to Shinae's desperate attempts to lure him out, when lmao attacked by her cat, the final straw!!! Did he come out - and he had no intention of coming clean to Shinae, she just happened to overhear him!

I think it will be the same for Alyssa and Kousuke - that they cannot simply wake up and decide to change, or see themselves for what they are. They have to reach a point that forces them to contend with that. It's so easy to say "Why can't Alyssa just realize that fame is not the same as friendship", but someone who has conflated friendship with idolization isn't going to see it the same. Someone who has believed that popularity feels more secure cannot see that for themselves. Logically, she knows the love her fans have towards her is conditional. That's the whole point of that incident with the fans that spotted her out with Nol - even though Nol is right to tell them off for bothering her after she politely told them she can't take a picture, she also knows that fans will only give you their support as long as they like you. Refuse their whims and they'll take to the internet to trash you to anyone who will listen. She knows that's not real love, but it's all she has so she's clinging to it. What will prompt her to change, otherwise?

The more I ramble about this lol the more I think you are right: she has to see that hollow popularity foiled against true friendship, and maybe even be reminded of what it feels like, what it's like to be supported unconditionally. Even though I've repeated that I don't want her outed against her will, I cannot deny how much I would love to see at least Nol and Shinae try to protect her. I love the complexity of it - that they are both people she has hurt in some way, that she has used in some way, but could still be allies to her. Shinae has made it clear that her feelings about Alyssa are complex - that though she doesn't seem to hold a grudge, the weight of what transpired between them still weighs heavy on her and what she really wants is clarity, to clear the air and understand. There's something painful and messy about being defended by people you feel guilt and regret towards, especially as people who probably offered some of the truest friendship she's know. (I mean, I say this loosely because, again, Nol lol likely befriended Alyssa for his quest for absolution and while he didn't intend to truly be their friend, he still was a good friend to them?) I guess what I'm getting at is: I love those complex, nuanced kinds of events, where maybe they will never become friends again, but maybe the genuine act of defending her could be the thing that makes her want to be a better person, to form real friendships and be her honest self. I hope Alyssa sometimes thinks about the first friend she made in middle school, who thought everything about her that other kids might find weird was cool, and feels some kind of regret.

lol as always this has gone on a whole tangent that was not intended but also, as always, these kinds of asks get me thinking about a lot of things! Frankly, I do not know what to expect of the second half of ILY. I don't know where we will leave the story in the present, or what we'll be set up for then, but I hope that when we see the characters as adults, we may get to see more of that complexity, of exploring and overcoming the things that have been holding you back. Alyssa is an extremely unlikeable character for good reason, but I just can't help but want to continue to see her involved in a big way, you know? There's just something so COMPELLING about her relationships with everyone!

Now lol with all that said, I will fully acknowledge that I think there IS a good chance that Alyssa could dig her heels in, because as I've said before, it is very likely that not all characters will overcome their pasts. Again, we see it with grown adults every day of life - that we are shaped by experiences and by our willingness to learn and unlearn. Is Alyssa willing to let something go or would she decide to push back and fight it, to find a way to shift blame, which would only get netizens more fired up. I WANT Alyssa to make some non-shitty choices for once, but that doesn't mean that's the arc she's on lol. I would not be surprised in the least if she found a way to try to deflect lol. Just, yknow. A resigned sigh like yup that's her lol. Flawed people can die flawed without making attempts to change, and I don't want that for her but look, sometimes that's life.

Man, this took me so long to answer and I apologize! My brain has been running away all week ;_____; some days I can sit down and bang out a response, other days the words are all jumbled in my head and it feels like I have to make a game of stringing them together since I can't telepathically write my responses. But as always, thank you for this ask and indulging in my love of Not Great Women characters lmao

I loved Night Work!!!!!!!!

Aww, thanks so much, Nonnie!

I'm super sick (headcold, regular variety lol) and this absolutely brightened up my day. Hope to have more of those two up for you soon :)

Work has also been crazy, but it should be a little more balanced in the coming weeks, leaving more room for fun writing.

And it is super fun writing my bratty, stubborn!Rey with definitely channeling some 2016!Kylo/Ben + domineering boss vibes. Kinktober prompts are always so much fun haha.

Thanks again for reaching out and for reading!

hugh dancy?

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

send me your favorite average, white man and i'll rate him

character bingo: volkner!

Sorry if this is inaccurate I didn't know a lot about him so I read his wiki (fake pokemon fan I know /j)