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bfkunimi · 4 years

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♡ helloo, so i said i was feeling better but i got sad again and ended up writing a long chapter lol hope you guys are liking this series, it’s been ironically comforting for me to write this so please love it a lot!

pairings: Kuroo x Tsukishima, Tsukishima x Yamaguchi, Kuroo x Kenma

genre: angst, hanahaki disease au, pain

warnings: will make you cry, made me cry lol, hospital setting, cheating, thoughts of suicide

notes: hanahaki disease: a fictional disease born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will throw and cough up petals and flowers. but this isn’t a typical hanahaki au, in this story.. the main character (in this case it’s kuroo) finds out that his partner (aka tsukki) doesn’t love him anymore because he started developing the disease.

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𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒. 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, & 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

kenma was right when he said he’ll be with me always. he hasn’t left my side ever since i was brought here, and it’s already been two weeks.

luckily he brought all his chargers for his phone and game consoles, so at least he wont be bored. but im sure he’s sick of this.

who knows how long i’ll be here in the hospital, im honestly not getting any better. everyday it gets harder to breathe, every time i cough it feels like my throats being ripped off my neck, and there’s always this heavy feeling in my chest. almost like there’s a gaping hole in it.

there’s still no sign from kei. but i know when kenma thinks im asleep, he calls him to give him updates everyday. most of the time kei doesn’t answer, but kenma still always leaves him a voicemail.

that thought. it still hasn’t left my mind.

as more days pass, the more i want to do it. it’s so tempting, the thought’s so addicting. maybe this is my cure.

the sweet relief of death.

these past two weeks, i’ve been thinking of how i’ll do it. it’s kind of impossible because kenma never leaves my side, he doesn’t sleep much but when he does it’s a small window. i have an idea bu-

“tetsu..”

me and kenma look up at the same time, seeing kei at the door.

“kenma, can me and kuroo talk privately?”

“mhm” kenma looks at me sincerely, squeezes my hand, and mouths “i’ll be back” while smiling at me. i smile back at him and he then steps outside.

kei looks so good. i fucking missed him so much. i'm glad he’s finally here.

but as sits where kenma was, the first thing i see is a ring on his finger.

my heart stopped. god can this get any worse?

he catches me staring at it. he meets my eyes and says, “that’s actually why i came today.”

“kei.. don’t.. please.” i'm begging him to not say it.

he takes my hand, sighs, looks into my eyes and says...

“im here to say my final goodbye to you.. me and tadashi got engaged recently and i think it wouldn’t be fair to you to keep you hanging or lead you into thinking we still have a chance to be together again. this is why i havent been visiting or contacting you.”

im starting to feel that hole in my chest again.

“i know i’m a dick for doing all this, but i know you’re already suffering enough and i don’t want to make you feel any worse. that’s why i asked kenma to take care of you for me, i know you two share a special bond since you were kids and that kenma would do anything for you. so i thought it was perfect. he’s been giving me updates on you everyday but later im gonna ask him to stop. me and tadashi decided to move back to miyagi and start our life together there. im sorry for saying this tetsu but this will be the last time you’ll see me.”

it’s getting emptier.. and emptier..

“i want to start fresh with tadashi and being here in tokyo, won’t help any of us. even you. i want you to be healthy and recover from this, so please forget about me. find someone new or just focus on yourself and your goals, but don’t hold on to me. it will only make you worse. but thank you for everything for these past five years. thank you for loving me wholeheartedly and for always being there for me. i’ll never forget our time together. just please take care for me okay? do everything you can to overcome this hanahaki disease, recover and live happily, it’s the one thing i ask of you.”

it feels like he’s stabbing me.

he pulls me in for a hug, and i grab onto him tight not wanting to let go.

but i love the pain.. i love him. fuck I can't live without him..

“i love you kei, please.. don’t go..”

he pulls away from the hug and looks at me for the last time.

“goodbye tetsu, im sorry.”

he leaves and tries to find kenma.

blood, tears and petals scatter the bed, as i cough and bawl my eyes out.

- kenma’s pov -

(bolded italicized is kenma’s internal responses to tsukki)

“can you just leave and live your life the way you want?” god im so fucking pissed, how could do that to kuroo?

“leave kuroo alone. and don’t bother coming back to his life because you’re the sole reason why he’s suffering right now. if you care about him even a little bit, don't lead him on, don’t give him hope, just cut him off.” he’s probably devastated right now, ah i gotta check on him.

“it’s what's best for him.” right after i deal this shithead.

he grabs my hand and says, “okay i will, but please do me a favor.”

“take care of him for me? don’t ever let him go.” i will never be like you

“never. i would never make that mistake.” bc unlike you i love him so much

he finally left.

ugh kuroo doesn’t deserve that jerk, he threw him away when he needed him the most. i cant leave him alone, i need to stay by his side. but...

he’s gone. as i walk back into his room, all i see is an empty bed, nothing but blood, tears, and petals.

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