LOVE when a video game protag is called a title. The Warden, the Watcher, the Exile…. Yessss be defined by a concept greater than yourself that will ultimately overtake your life

Watch "STAR WARS™: Knights of the Old Republic™ II: The Sith Lords - Announcement Trailer - Nintendo Switch" on YouTube

YALL????????

Y'all.????????????

NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS YALL!!!!!!!?????? IM SO EXCITED HO HO HOLY SHIT

THANK FUCK I DIDNT KNOW THIS WHEN IT CAME OUT WHILE I WAS AT WORK I WOULSVE BEEN INSUFFERABLE

my beloved older brother has slotted yakuza 0 pretty high up in his video game queue and every time he mentions he's gonna play it i start shaking, vibrating with motion over it,, I'm so excited heehee

THEYRE GONNA WALL OF LIGHT LEIDA???

Struck me last night playing KotOR 2 that nobody ever uses the title Darth Nihilus. He's only ever referred to as Visas' master, or the threat beyond the Outer Rim, or the Sith that destroyed Katarr, but never with any name or personal title, a being known exclusively through his connection to others.

In-game, however, you see his title when targeting him in battle and it's listed with his mask if Visas retrieves it for you. This could easily be explained away as gameplay convenience, just like how nobody ever refers to the player as anything other than the Exile to accommodate player customisation, but both those things could in fact be something more.

Perhaps the Exile knows the name Nihilus took for himself because the Exile understands his conception of identity on a level no other can. Both of them once Jedi, their lives defined by their connection to the Force, a connection now twisted and inverted, luminous beings now a walking shadow, and with that their identities themselves being robbed from them in the eyes of all who would see them through the Force, known as individuals in their own right no longer but only by the echoes and imprints they leave on others. And perhaps the Exile, whose strength always lay in their ability to forge connections through the Force with ease, understood Nihilus on an instinctive level because his very being was of the echo they carried in their heart for ten years, to look upon him was to look within themselves and hear a terrible harmony, a bond such as those between master and apprentice but just as twisted as their connections to the Force itself, as the Exile finally looks upon the worst product of their fateful command and Nihilus finally sees his maker.

A conversation/interview video with Casey Hudson called "Casey Hudson Interview: Mass Effect Director on New Studio Humanoid Origin and His Next Game": [source and watch link] In the video they discuss topics like previous BioWare games and the early days at BioWare.

Part of video description:

"In this career-spanning interview, I talk to Mass Effect creator Casey Hudson about his philosophy on game development, projects like Star Wars: KotOR, and his new remote-friendly studio, Humanoid Origin, which is hard at work on an all-new sci-fi game IP."

Some quotes/notes under the cut:

Covid was a strange time for everyone. Casey was a studio head at BioWare when the pandemic and lockdown hit; everyone went home. this was very surreal, but he "was sitting in [his] home office as the General Manager for a studio of several hundred people", and "it kind of worked pretty well, and then it just makes you realize that if that's possible, then maybe you don't need the big infrastructure, huge studio locations, maybe there's a different way to do it."

Casey is also a concept artist. when they were starting creating Mass Effect, he was really concerned with the Citadel and what the shape of it was going to be, so he did tons of drawings trying to figure out what it would look like.

In the early days of BioWare, the old BioWare culture had devs often out dancing on Whyte Avenue. many of the devs in the early days at BW worked on Whyte Avenue. just downstairs from them is where all the bars and restaurants were, and many of the devs lived within walking distance. at that time work was most of their lives. if they wanted to meet their friends at the bar, they were just downstairs or across the street. "This is not a lifestyle that you wanna maintain into your 30s and 40s, but that's kind've what it was like at that time. But because it was so, I think it was a really narrow existence in a lot of ways and half of it is in the winter, bitterly cold outside, that we then first of all have a lot of time to focus and imagine something but also you then really start thinking of like, what does the escape look like? Where do you want to be right now? Instead of in the middle of the winter in Edmonton working 12 hours a day. Where would you, what do you fantasize about? That I think is kinda what propelled a lot of the vision for these really epic places and a sense of escapism." - Interestingly KOTOR and ME1 both have levels/scenes near the end with beaches.

It took people 15 years to notice that the sentence in the opening segment of ME1 "and the civilizations of the galaxy called it.. mass effect" was an homage to Top Gun ("the pilots call it Top Gun"). this was put in there because Casey used to want to be a fighter pilot when he was younger.

Why did they have the Reapers in ME, these lovecraftian terrifying horror things? They originate from 2 things. BW really envisioned ME as "imagine that there was a movie that came out in the late 70s or early 80s". it was to be kind of in the vein of Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan, or Alien, and like it was like a major sci-fi hit that just didn't get released, only now you get to play it and be in that experience. "So that's kind of where we went with, not necessarily horror, but that sort of sci-fi suspense feeling. And then I think the other piece was, we were just really swinging for the fences. like, if there's a threat, what is the biggest threat? And if you're gonna make a decision in this game, let's make them agonizing decisions of the highest stakes, and so ME kind've has this feeling like, of everything being big and important and difficult choices and huge scale. And I think that's where it came from."

99% of the creature models for Neverwinter Nights were thrown in the trash. Casey made a bunch of models over the course of a year, as a major part of his role that year. Then the D&D 3rd Edition rules came out with concepts in them for how things were supposed to look. "I believe what happened was we were asked to just snap to those concepts, so all of these character models that I had made were just never going to get used. the irony of it is the one thing that did end up getting used was the giant spider model I did in my first day or two."

(on his first day at BioWare they gave him a concept for a giant spider, and in his first week he made this spider monster model.)

early screenshots of NWN were from a prototype as opposed to the proper game engine.

the interviewer mentioned that the NWN era was a stressful time, a dark time at BioWare. the publisher was going bankrupt.

the co-founder doctors Ray and Greg were very good at providing an environment that felt stable because they were shielding the devs from a lot of the existential crisis the business was in, so it felt stable, but they also provided real stability. "The games that we worked on, for many years, everything we worked on shipped and became a good game that brought revenue into the studio and elevated our status as a developer. But I know that it was a lot rougher waters than what we experienced. I'm always curious to follow up with Rey and Greg and find out what that would have been like for them."

The interviewer then mentions that things then got a little more exploratory at the studio at that time, and the fact that there were some cancelled projects. Casey: "At that point, we were becoming larger as a studio and growing the number of projects we had at a given time. I think at one point there was just more projects than we could sustain in terms of focus and just the logistics of getting that many things out. Prior to that though we had an amazing run, it was very rare to be able to ship everything that you work on, and I think we had that for quite a while."

At that time in games development, devs just worked on the game they were working on all day. Nowadays in game development there's lots of other things they often have to do during their day at work (like instead of and in addition to). in his new studio, Casey said he wants to try and work smarter or faster, and without ending up doing crunch time, and without working on things that end up needing to be downscoped.

He also discussed the development of KOTOR at various points in the video and relayed some anecdotes about KOTOR. for example, Jolee Bindo is named after his imaginary friend from childhood that he had.

On the naming of Anthem: "So that one, I've only heard the story secondhand because I came into Anthem at the very end. I was on that project at the very, that was going to be the next full game that I was gonna work on right after ME3. We moved onto what was going to be our new IP and it was called Project Dylan at the time. I worked on Dylan for about a year before I left EA. I was at Microsoft for a while. then after a few years, that project was still going and then had actually been announced as Anthem and had its E3 debut. So they already had their name, as of that point. As I understand, that was another one where it's just, you try a number of different names, and at this point, there are just so many things being copy-written that it's really hard to find a name that isn't blocked by an existing product. But I thought that was a great name."

In the early days of BW they generally didn't have much interaction with the publisher. "It just really felt like we could just go off and design something that was true to itself and was amazing for what we were making". it's harder and harder to do this nowadays as publishers and studios get bigger and bigger.

[source]

Lily BioWare HAS been becoming shit

literally the last good game they’ve made was a fucking remaster with the actual new games they’ve made (andromeda and Anthem) being shit and the mmo they’ve made currently going downhill

Lily you preach on and on about how “we need to let things go and not to hold companies and media on a high pedestal” yet you do this shit constantly with BioWare

bioware’s quickly becoming the Canadian version of blizzard maybe stop holding them up to a high pedestal and accept the bioware you loved doesn’t exist anymore especially with all the recent layoffs

Everyone else can see that bioware lost their soul and is now just sucking EA’s cock why can’t you?

the actual new games they’ve made (andromeda and Anthem) being shit and the mmo they’ve made currently going downhill

Let's unpack that.

Andromeda was shit for one very simple reason: EA mandated that all their studios use their god awful Frostbite Engine, which only DICE knows the arcane mystic incantation to make it not shit, and which they had to learn WHILE developing the game.

The same problem was had by Kingdom Hearts 3, which changed engines mid-development and the team had to relearn an engine TWICE (Luminous and then Unreal) which contributed to the troubled development.

Anthem was EA's bright idea to have their *checks notes* character focused action RPG devs make a *checks notes* looter shooter. Did anyone expect that to go well? I doubt it.

As for SWTOR, SWTOR has been the "tortanic" according to people who have never played it for twelve fucking years now.

bioware’s quickly becoming the Canadian version of blizzard maybe stop holding them up to a high pedestal and accept the bioware you loved doesn’t exist anymore especially with all the recent layoffs

Honey I have accepted the fundamental difference between Old BioWare and New BioWare a long time ago. I'm not expecting them to jump right back in and make a game with the same magic as Baldur's Gate 2.

All of their games have different lead writers. BG2 was James Ohlen, KOTOR and Mass Effect were Drew Karpyshyn and Mac Walters, Dragon Age was David Gaider, and Andromeda was John Dombrow.

Different writers make different games, what a shock.

But this isn't new. BioWare has had duds before. I understand that you're fucking young, but I remember Neverwinter Nights. A game that set itself up as a proto 3D RPG Maker. Or Jade Empire, the one BioWare game NONE of you have played.

Or how about FUCKING DRAGON AGE?! The runty little stepchild to Mass Effect which has always exemplified the worst of BioWare's B Team? Dragon Age is fucking terrible, my dude.

You think they're in the toilet because of ANTHEM? And ANDROMEDA? I remember Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood. Don't cite the deep magics to me, I was there when it was written.

The thing is... BioWare is in the unique position of propping up the careers of three different development studios now. Black Isle, Obsidian and Larian Studios all got where they were by cribbing BioWare's notes. Often badly.

Black Isle had the dumbass idea to make Icewind Dale, essentially Baldur's Gate with the character-focused storytelling ripped out, and it was fucking terrible. And they made Planescape Torment. The best game ever made according to people who've never played it.

Obsidian put themselves on the map with Neverwinter Nights 2 and KOTOR 2, both of which heavily relied on their precursors to even work. And then later on they crowdfunded a Baldur's Gate knock-off and it was a tepid response at best. All their attempts to make original games flounder and die.

And Larian Studios has been making one game their entire life: Baldur's Gate, but the Auto Pause Every Round Is Permanently On. And the one time it succeeded was the one time the dev they were ripping off hadn't released a game in 6 years.

BioWare's gone through some garbage over the last few years, but they've consistently had a better track record than most "Darling" game devs.

I remember when CD Projekt Red was a gaming community darling despite having only 1 game anyone actually liked.

I remember when Valve was practically fucking worshipped all while engaging in every scummy business practice on the planet, creating a DRM monopoly and being applauded for it during a time where DRM was hated. Because they were "Valve" and "Praise Gaben."

Obsidian hasn't released a good game in 13 or 19 years depending on how much you like philosophical rants.

BioWare's biggest crime is... well crunch, but their second biggest crime is releasing one dud every three games. And you what's gonna happen? Mass Effect 4 is going to come out and we're all going to forget about Andromeda and Anthem. Just like how we all forgot about Jade Empire and Neverwinter Nights when Mass Effect 1 came out.

There are absolute garbage devs out there, but BioWare doesn't even make the list my dude.

Still playing through KOTOR 2, afraid I’ll find “better” equipment because I love the way my player character looks right now.

you played the first 2 baldur's gate games, right? can you give any advice for someone who want to get into them, but is younger than the games themselves and not very used to isometric rpgs or games from that time period in general? the oldest game i played is kotor, and bg1, while having an interesting premise, is very confusing to me

hrmm for nitty-gritty party composition, builds and stuff, i suggest looking them up online (i find reddit useful in this case) as for my fluff advice:

take time to get used to the interface, see what each button does (open mage/priest spell lists, change party formation, etc)

they're turn-based games at heart. pause liberally during fights to take a breath and plan your next move, if you need.

have at least two melee characters, one thief (for lockpicking and trap detection), one healer. i prefer having 3 melee and 3 ranged.

don't be afraid to use the most boring classes and party comp. honestly. my first blind run of bg1+2 had 4 melee, 2 ranged, with minimal magic use, and i still came through fine.

KILL THE SPELLCASTERS FIRST.

rest liberally! lose 1hp? fuck it! just rest! most quests aren't time sensitive anyway.

difficulty slider is your best friend. bump it down to easiest if you find things difficult. i did! it helps you get used to the system!

examine items, spells, scrolls to learn what they do

above all, have patience with the game. it's old, it can be clunky, but once you learn your way around it, it'll shine.

most importantly: take good care of my girls jaheira and imoen. this is non-negotiable. do it. 🔫👀

i like using gamebanshee's walkthroughs for these isometric crpgs. they have detailed maps and quest guides that are very helpful.

if anyone wants to add on, pls feel free cos it's been a long time since i played bg1+2, must've forgotten a ton of stuff now

The finale to KOTOR 2 is right now, tonight on my stream! How will events play out on Malachor V, especially with the restoration mod in effect? Come by and find out! We'll also be chatting about the game afterwards and doing tier lists and fun stuff!

Come watch live on my Twitch!

all i knew before playing kotor 2 was that people loved kreia so i was surprised i didn't much care for her except for a couple memorable scenes. meanwhile atris had me on a chokehold the whole time. the scene where you assemble your Backstory on the fly while having a bitter argument with her is still one of my favorite bits from any game.

it's SUCH a good scene! I love how you can start out that conversation so penitent, so much older and wiser since you were first exiled, but the more you argue with her the more the dialogue gets drawn into that argument. by the time you're interrupting her, you've entirely relapsed into that same person you were when you stood before her and the Council. you stop being the sorry Exile and start being that person "who was so right," again, and it perfectly mirrors Atris' own deeply held convictions. at that moment, neither one of you can really let it go.

it lays out the relationship so well in a way that makes it easy to imagine why she and the Exile were so close in the first place. you can easily imagine this tendency to debate was always part of their friendship. they both have this same stubborn, overdeveloped sense of what is right, and that strong sense of morality ends up being both of their undoing. the Exile, defined by their empathy and emotional impulsivity, simply fell first and therefore, has had time to grow from it. for better or worse, they are different now, even if progress isn't linear when you're in a bitter argument with your ex.

Atris, on the other hand, is intentionally cautious just as she has been taught to be. if the Exile is the prodigal son, Atris is the good son. she has always held fast to her teachings and done what was expected of her. unlike the Exile, she did not go to war. unlike the Exile, she does not let her feelings get the better of her. unlike the Exile, she can stand next to the Sith and not feel their influence, right? surely, of all people, she has the willpower to resist, right? after all, she's doing all of this to eradicate the SIth and save the galaxy from their destruction. (but when you think about it, is Kreia not trying to do the very same thing?)

and so Atris falls, not in spite of her piety, but because of it. and it's so good! it's so compelling! not because "bluh bluh, huge bitch. she's self-righteous and she got what was coming to her," like the fanboys of yore would tell you, but because Atris is a historian. she carries your old lightsaber as a reminder to never be like you. she is nothing like you, and she is exactly like you. she is a part of your backstory, and she is your backstory, repeating. and she's a fucking fantastic character. 10/10.

Tag Game

Rules: Share 10 facts about yourself and tag 10 other blogs! I want to get to know my mutuals, and the people I follow a little bit :) The facts can be about anything!

@sillyliterature tagged me daaaays ago! Of course I waited until after midnight on a school night, after a 5-day school break, to finally write/post this... /sigh I had fun scrounging for things about me you should know. I hope anyone seeing this gets a giggle.

1. I'm an American living in China, teaching English. I technically teach "Critical Reading and Writing", and a lot of the curriculum I built myself! (I prefer creating teaching materials to teaching and I'll be changing careers soon cuz I so tired)

2. I love cats. Can you tell? My mom has given me a cat-related nickname since birth, SHE loves cats, and so I feel like it's just in the genes now. My metaphorical daughter niece also loves cats, which shows I'm right. I have two cats right now, Birdie & Canela (Canela is the tabby-baby, she has brownish-ginger spots she inherited from her mother, so yes, she is named "cinnamon" on purpose. Birdie is the tortie and the Mama-cat!)

3. I wrote a book! It's published! I'm supposed to write a sequel. It is... almost half-done? A little more than half-done? It's a YA fantasy called "The Coward's Emblem" 🥰 There are dragons! My bestie drew my dragons for me and they're BEAUTIFUL!!! LOOK BELOW!! SO COOL! (I also have commissioned art of the characters by Sabri on insta and they're BEAUTIFUL, too!! If you wanna know more about my actual for real OCs for my real book, pls lemme know!)

4. I've eaten so many Hot Cheetos, I've coughed stomach acid. Maybe living in China is good for me, no Hot Cheetos here... hmmmm

5. The only video games I've ever played from beginning to end on my own are: Harvest Moon: Animal Parade, KOTOR, KOTOR II, and Dragon Age(s). I can only play on Easy/Casual because I'm a crap gamer (I've never finished a Pokémon game), but I really love the stories/characters. ☺️

6. Atton x f!Exile fanart has been my lockscreen for months, and Viktuuri art from Yuri! on Ice! has been my phone bg wallpaper even longer. Maybe since 2016...

7. Rapid Shot Shame-Fame: I meowed through 7th-8th grade. Yes, you read that correctly. I've been a weeaboo. I was in the Hetalia fandom (hence the tumblr name). I was in the SuperWhoLock fandom, too + Teen Wolf, and, my true claim to fame, I went to Dashcon AND I WAS A PANELIST. At THREE panels. No, I was never paid. 🤣

8. I've almost been in a cult twice... maybe three times, but definitely twice. Only the fact I am lazy and didn't live In The Location of the 'Cult' prevented me from actually joining. (Did spend 40 bucks on that book for one of them, though. Ugh. Gimme my 40 bucks back.)

9. I've been to three Disney parks of six. (The Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Shanghai is amazing! Rode it twice! Tron and Soarin' O'er the Horizon are overrated.)

10. I've played DnD since I was 18, and I ALWAYS find a group. In USA, in South Korea, and now in China; I find the nerds and I friend them no matter where I am (yes, I am a nerd, too). My first finished original novel (unpublished) was based on my first ever DnD character: Karik the Master of Many Forms Druid 😀 My current character is Tepin Pallis Cuautli Lozano, a Wild Shaper Druid, the first time I've played a Druid again in almost ten years (3.5e was better, fite me 💪🤜).

So, I don’t hide the fact that I dislike the Revan novel. I’ve tried to read it for fic research but...I’m using it as a guide on what not to do. I can’t even get past the first few chapters anymore. There are just so many things that make no sense when it concerns Revan’s character (and other characters). If you do like the book, it’s alright - it’s just fiction after all. I’ve noticed that a lot of people in the Star Wars fandom are very reactionary against others with different opinions and I try not to be that person. For that reason, I’ve put all of the reasons why I do not like the novel’s version of Revan under the line if you don’t want to hear a sarcastic rant:

The author, Karpyshyn, made Revan "both light and dark”….ugh. No. Force alignment is a literal alignment. Having “both” suggests Revan is on both ends of the spectrum AT ALL TIMES which…is not possible (without time travel or parallel universes or Doctor Who...man I want a good Doctor Who/KOTOR fic now...sorry what was I saying?). This whole “Revan is both light and dark” thing also created that whole “split personality” in the MMO which...yeah I thought that was dumb.

He could be a gray Jedi I suppose, but there are still problems with that considering how the novel characterizes Revan. He’s mega powerful. Lightning shooting out of hands, burning people to a crisp...sounds like a Sith to me (even though he says he is “the light”). He isn’t a gray Jedi if he can use Force lightning. My understand is that “gray” Jedi are considered weak compared to pure Jedi and pure Sith. Why? Because gray Jedi can’t use light-side or dark-side powers to the fullest extent. The moment they can, they aren’t gray anymore. So, no Force lightning. 

When Revan’s memories returned, instead of having some deeply emotional reaction to it, he goes, “btw, Meetra, I was brainwashed by the Sith Emperor. That’s why I was evil, ‘mkay?” Because Revan falling because he wanted to save the galaxy the “quick and easy” way would be way too interesting and relatable. And sure, Revan breaks out of the brainwash (while Malak didn’t)...but now we have a character reacting to what happens to him instead of being a proactive protagonist. Now this Revan didn’t make the decision to start using the dark side for his own ends during the war, he started to fall because of the Sith Emperor. I would have loved this brainwash plotline if it was a red herring - if Revan believed he’d been brainwashed by the Emperor. Cause anyone would grasp at anything to explain why they went evil, wouldn’t they? But surprise, he learns that he chose that path out of his own free will. 

Speaking of free will, Revan does NOT think what the Council did to him was shady in any way. He “deserved” it. No bitch. No one deserves that. Not even my worst enemy. He has a right to be put off by it. But nope, blank slate, he’s a Jedi Master now(?) and wants to be. I’m sorry, but Revan is not a good Jedi...at least not good enough to be a Master.

This Revan has very little personality (except around Canderous funnily enough which I do find their scenes hilarious). You would think if his memories were slowly coming back he’d lose the “blank slate” features from the first game. Oh, I forgot, apparently, the writer didn’t play KOTOR 2 so he didn’t know Revan actually had a personality.

Oh, wait, silly me. He does have opinions. About...

He cares about marriage for Jedi cause I guess he needs vows in order to be in love with Bastila? Roll my freaking eyes. Also, priorities. If he wanted to marry Bastila, they would literally just pull a Bindo. It’s not a cause I see Revan bothering with when I highly doubt he’d care about actually being a Jedi in the first place.

WHY did Karp make Revan so old? 38?? Lol not that 38 is old old but it makes his relationship with Bastila a bit weird. Thanks for that. Did Karp forget how old Bastila was? He didn’t technically write her character so that would make sense (yeah, I’m side eyeing him now...). When I first played kotor, I placed Revan between the ages of 28-32 and Bastila around 20-23. Yah know, ages that would make sense?

Revan stayed on Coruscant. Why? I can see there being reasons, but the novel doesn’t give good ones. Err yeah, the whole “he can blend in with a crowd” excuse Revan gives because of a beard isn’t believable to me. They have the holonet??? People would likely try to have him assassinated for, I don’t know, being the dark lord of the Sith? Like imagine a dictator was “rehabilitated” and let out in New York or something. I think MORE people would stalk/recognize him there than on some backwater planet even years later. Also...why did the Jedi tell people that Revan was alive? That seemed...a bit dumb of them. I always imagined it was leaked by someone who discovered the truth a year or so later (and had a grudge) and not revealed to the public immediately. Everyone isn’t as forgiving as the Jedi and the Jedi would know this. Because they aren’t stupid (I think). 

Also, wouldn’t it be more interesting if Revan had to deal with the masses opinions about him? Like...I seriously doubt a court would throw out a war criminal case in our world because the defense had “amnesia.” Yes, the prosecutor could possibly use this to help with the sentencing...yet they still committed war crimes. They still would be “punished.” Maybe not with the death penalty...but they would be punished.

No? They aren’t addressing this highly interesting political conundrum? Alright... 

Also, where is HK? Carth? Juhani? Kreia is never mentioned too... Actually, only Revan, Bastila, Canderous, the Exile, and T3 (for some reason) matter here. How strange...

Finally, and most importantly, I think it was a huge mistake to make any choices the player makes in KOTOR “canon.” Why? Because KOTOR was based on D&D and in D&D the player makes the characters (based on given parameters like classes). Why would I bother making different Revans when the game master, at the very end, says “oh, nope actually your character was not what I had in mind. This is what actually happened.” It defeats the purpose of a role playing game. It would suck even more if the game master didn’t know how to make a good character (cough cough).

So, yeah, there are probably more reasons... 

Honestly, it would be easy to blame Karp for this. I blame it on the MMO Revan expansion and Lucasfilm. This book feels like it had to check stuff off a corporate list for the express purpose to put Revan in the MMO. I doubt this book would have been written if the expansion didn’t need some wild explanation for Revan to appear hundreds of years later to start a cult. I doubt even the best writer would have conjured up something to explain that....

kotor 2 snippet

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"Uh, Meetra?" Atton flipped down the hood on one of the downed Sith. "This one's a kid. Just so you know."

Meetra turned, looking with horror at the small, baby-faced girl bleeding on the floor. She couldn't be more than eighteen, more like sixteen at a guess. "Fuck." She hurried over and knelt beside the kid, pressing her hand over the chest wound and pouring out Force healing.

Atton leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. "Could just finish her. I won't tell anyone. She's still a Sith, after all."

Meetra sighed. "Yeah, and Visas is a Sith, and you used to be a Sith, and this one is a child. Help me stabilize her."

Atton sighed. He stared at her, his arms crossed and his brow furrowed as he warred with himself for a few seconds before relunctantly standing up off the wall and kneeling down on the other side of the Sith. He checked her pulse and touched her forehead with the back of his hand. "I don't know if she's gonna make it, boss." His tone was dry, with a distinct lack of sympathy.

Meetra tore off the bottom of her undershirt to make a bandage. "I don't know if you're testing me or you just hate kids, but I don't appreciate it."

"I do not hate kids," he said hotly. He helped her lift the girl up and tie the bandage around her wound to keep pressure. "I just hate Jedi, and by the time they get to be 12 or 14 they're more Jedi than they are a kid."

Meetra grimaced. She had a mind to protest him talking about Jedi like they were less than people, but she could remember having several conversations like this, justifying the deaths of young soldiers in the Mandalorian War, how war stripped them of their right to innocence. "Elevate her wound," she said instead. "And keep pressure on it."

Atton hesitated another half second before shrugging off his jacket, folding it to make an improvised cushion and prop the Sith's torso off the ground. "You're washing that for me later." He pressed his hands down on the wound while Meetra resumed trying to close it with the Force.

"I think you can handle it," Meetra muttered. "More experience getting blood out of your clothes."

"You think she deserves to live more than the others? They all tried to kill us. You stabbed her, so you'd already decided to kill her before I pointed out she's young."

Meetra didn't answer for several minutes. Instead she concentrated as hard as she could on making the kid's guts and flesh knit back together the way they were supposed to be, bringing the wound as far along it's healing cycle as she could. It was slow, tense work, and once she'd reached the length of her energy there was still some surface damage and mild internal tearing, but at least the Sith wasn't torn open anymore. Now she just had to worry about the blood loss that couldn't be so easily undone.

Meetra took her hands back from the Sith and wiped her hands on her own pants, smearing off some of the blood. "The others were already dead. And I think I've killed enough children, okay? Can you respect what I need to do for my conscience?"

Atton frowned, mulling it over. "I don't know."

Meetra sighed and sat back on her ass. She wiped at her sweaty face with her forearm, managing to smear blood on her nose and cheek. "Why'd you tell me anyway?"

He shrugged. "You would've been upset if you noticed and I hadn't said something."

Meetra frowned in a thin line. "So you care more about my feelings than somebody's life. Good to know."

She sat up on her feet and hauled the wounded Sith into her arms, picking her up as she stood. "We're getting her back to the ship. You got my back?"

Atton scrambled to his feet as she started walking back. "Hey, hold up! I mean yeah, I do, but you better lock up the medbay if you're gonna bring her, cause I'm not playing around."

"Me or Visas will sit with her and we'll have HK on the door. We'll drop her off at Yavin and be gone."

"Great," he muttered, following. "Let her be someone else's problem. We're not a Sith rescue service."

"Aren't we, Atton?"

"Uh-uh. Sparing the cute ones doesn't count."

Meetra adjusted the Sith's weight in her arms. She wondered if Visas felt like that. An exception. A pet. Like Meetra had handed her her life rather than Visas earning it. She kept her feet as steady as she could on the rocky ground, unwilling to stumble. "Sparing isn't always a mercy anyway."

Funny how things change

2 1/2 years ago I was not a Star Wars fan or a gamer. I was recommended KOTOR when asked for a fun RPG game on my phone. I got bored with it after 2 months (I never made it off of Taris). Yeah... All that changed when covid hit. I was bored so I binged watched the Star Wars Saga. Needless to say, I fell hard. Well, I redownloaded KOTOR and made it off Taris. The Malak cutscene nearly made me lose my mind. I didn’t play a lot of video games then. The most I played was Minecraft occasionally. Well let’s just say the Reval had me screaming! (My brother broke my door because he thought I was in trouble). Then I watched the Mandalorian; oh my... my emotions were high. I became a massive Revalek shipper! It was awesome! So many easter eggs!!!! I tried and tried to get KOTOR II, but my parents were sick of my insanity by this point and told me no. That was October to of 2021. What I didn’t know was that they got me the original Xbox so I can play KOTOR I and KOTOR II. Hahaha well I got to play KOTOR II having a good old time. I finally got to Malachor, now I knew what to expect from the video game. What I didn’t expect was my game crashing as soon as I crashed on Malachor. My disk has a scratch. Okay, I tried not to panic. I knew my grandparents has a bunch of Xbox games at their house. So, I called them up offered to buy any games, we haggled, and laughed. Well after a three-hour conversation in Five and Below I got not only KOTOR II but KOTOR I, Republic Commando, Battlefront 1, and Battlefront 2. I was so happy! Now it was smooth sailing, right? Nope! The belt in my Xbox broke and the fan stopped working. It was two weeks before I got a new Xbox. Luckily this one is in great condition. I love Star Wars now, I love Kotor. I love the crazy chaotic Revan. I love the Jedi Exile. Kreia I respect but still want to burn in hell (how could you do that to me?). So yeah so, much stuff has happened. Now we have Obi Wan coming out and I’m preparing with a gallon of ice cream and ten boxes of tissues. I just love this fandom and my only regret was that I didn’t watch Star Wars sooner. Also, big thanks if you read this entire mind drivel May The Force Be With You Always.

finished kotor 2! that last like two hours of the game really drags lol. having a game where the combat system revolves around a party of companions and then having levels where you’re left by yourself can be fun and interesting but not for the entire ending of the game. i had to do the first phase of the final boss twice bc i slipped up right at the beginning of the second phase and died without saving. really annoyed when i figured out how much easier the second phase is lmao. for some reason my lightsaber attacks were just not doing any damage at all (they kept missing? no idea why) so all i could was slowly chisel down her health with all of the two offensive force abilities i had and rage every time she spammed the life drain ability. anyways. now that i’m done venting about that wow! the story was so good!

i think you can def tell it switched developers part way through bc parts of it feel very bioware and parts feel very obsidian. all of the companions have really interesting story hooks but either i sucked at progressing their dialogue or they’re just not written with much depth past a certain point. atton and kreia get a lot of focus and then mira gets a decent amount (but feels much less connected to the main story), but bao-dur, visas, mandalore and the droids get hardly anything. (why was hk-47 even there?) i did dantooine last so i didn’t see much of the disciple (slight blessing in disguise bc i was not expecting smellis to be in this game lmao), but he seemed like he might have had more focus than the droids. i know some of it is tied to your force alignment but still lol. loved what was there in terms of the character writing but a lot of it felt half baked, unfinished, or just missing key moments. there being no loyalty missions of any kind is very felt. i just barely managed to make atton a jedi right before the part of the game where your companions just aren’t there anymore.

if they’re ever able to remake the kotor games, the first one would be pretty easy to just one-to-one remake. add a voiced protagonist, dialogue wheel and proper character creator, beef up the gameplay and cutscenes (and flesh out the romances) and that’s it. but kotor 2 i feel like would need a full restructuring. the main story around the exile and kreia is so good. the way it digs into how different force users experience and relate to the force and how that affects them is good good star wars content and obsidian really nailed that. i wish sion and nihilous were more fleshed out and actually interacted with the exile more to really hammer home that idea and atton’s addition shouldn’t be locked behind figuring out his weird influence gains lol. anything that doesn’t tie in to that kind of falls to the wayside though.

i think it work better if it were less of an rpg. keep the player on their own for the most part with some story sections giving you different companions as uncontrollable npcs. you can keep the sections where the party splits up and you play as a diff character but have it be a set character with a similar moveset. keep the companions in set locations, maybe on the ship maybe not (mira really doesn’t have a reason to leave nar shadaa and mandalore doesn’t need to leave dxun tbh), and have them each have a questline. that would allow the player to engage with the companions as much or as little as possible and focus in more on the exile as a character and their interactions with kreia. the exile could honestly stand to be more of an established character with less player input as blasphemous as that sounds lol. keep most of the dialogue choices and the ability to play it light side or dark side but anything about the exile’s past should be set. and the planet order shouldn’t be variable. i followed the “best” planet order according to google and i didn’t like it actually lol. korriban should absolutely be last as it’s the only planet where you don’t get a companion, you fight sion for the first time and it has that whole optional vision quest thing. dantooine or possibly nar shadaa could be first and the other second with onderon third.

all in all i’m very happy i finally got to play this game and would be so stoked if it got a remake but i don’t think i’ll be doing a dark side run anytime soon lol.