#person on shift for 2 hrs; then the fucking kid who does shit all and isn’t even licensed to do half this shit came in and didn’t even do th
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so! guess who is withholding $60+ in tips from me 🥰
#the cash tips are all lost#most of the electronic tips ‘must’ve not gone through’#and the two electronic tips that did go through never showed up on my paycheck#i was holding on by a fucking string today (had an anxiety attack in the parking lot and was thus an hour late; then i was the only fucking#person on shift for 2 hrs; then the fucking kid who does shit all and isn’t even licensed to do half this shit came in and didn’t even do th#e shit he’s allowed to do. he’s hanging out in laundry looking at tik toks; only comes back to tell me that he needs to take a break to get#some food…..i know i shouldnt resent him bc i’m pro slacking off at work and it’s managements fault that i was alone and struggling today bu#t like OH MY GOD. YOU DO REALIZE THAT I HAVE BEEN BUSTING MY ASS FOR HOURS AND REALLY NEED SOME FUCKING FOOD MYSELF and i was waiting until#the last person got out of the main pool since willies not certified to do pool operator and lifeguard stuff and ofc the exact second the pe#rson gets out and i finally have a minute to MAYBE even CONSIDER taking a break before i fucking faint and vomit; in comes willy asking for#a break. A BREAK FROM WHAT.#im hungry and i’m tired and i’m angry and i’m pissed as fuck at everything#also the one guy flirted with me again and this time did some weird shit with his towel while staring straight at me and standing in front#of me for a solid few mins? and i had to stay there bc i was on stand……and like literally if he fucking tipped me i wouldn’t care. flirt wi#th me all you want; i’ll flirt back! so long as you give me even a measly fucking five for it.#but no#nothing#never seen a cent from him#anyways on top of all this there was a meeting on monday that was 🔔🔔🔔 illegal off the clock unpaid hours!! 🎉🎉#im so fucking tired#i feel like this job treats me so well bc they’re very understanding about the lateness shit which has been happening more and more#but then i remember shit like this and i feel like!!!!!!!!!!OH MY GOD!!!!i need a union and a fucking nap jesus christ#anyways trying to stay positive#i have a date tmrw#we’re getting italian food#she seems very sweet#also i get to see two of my friends tmrw#and i don’t feel anxious at all about the date! which is rad and sexy of me and yeah#also i don’t have to work tmrw of friday so#i’m making it through
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Game, set, and twat: Whether it’s Meghan or Naomi Osaka, Piers Morgan’s MailOnline-enabled bullying has a pattern...
... the mediocre hack’s mediocre hack hates women who don’t dance to his tune.
Mic Wright
11 hr ago
If someone had a blog and Twitter account where they relentlessly attacked a series of high profile women — many of them women of colour — for perceived slights and their refusal to pay the writer attention, we’d usually call that person a bully and a troll, and if they persisted in that behaviour they might even find themselves facing legal consequences.
But Piers Morgan has a TV career and a MailOnline byline so he’s given impunity to mock, abuse, and denigrate women while claiming he’s just a ‘critical voice’. His latest target is Naomi Osaka, the 23-year-old tennis player who is currently ranked number 2 in the world, is the reigning champion of the US Open and Australian Open, and became the first woman to win back-to-back grand slams since Serena Williams in 2015.
By contrast, Piers Morgan is a mediocre hack who owes his controversy-baiting career to Simon Cowell who pulled him out of the dumper of history and plonked him on the America’s Got Talent panel after he was frog-marched out of Fleet Street for slapping faked photos on the front page of a national newspaper. That incident was the last in an ignominious run at The Daily Mirror and, before that, in the Murdoch press, which I have covered extensively in the past.
[image description] Twitter avatar for @Nabilu
Nabil Abdulrashid
@Nabilu
If time machines existed Piers Morgan would go backwards in time to chat shit about Rosa Parks
May 31st 2021
346 Retweets2,456 Likes]
Morgan’s latest creepy obsession was triggered — I use that word deliberately — by Osaka’s decision not to speak to the press during the French Open at Roland Garros because interviews were affecting her mental health. She subsequently withdrew from the tournament altogether after winning her first match, having been fined $15,000 for not speaking to the media and warned she was at risk of being expelled from the event.
In her statement yesterday, Osaka wrote that she had suffered “long bouts of depression” since she defeated Serena Williams in the 2018 US Open Final and received significant media attention. She continued:
I never wanted to be a distraction and I accept that my timing was not ideal and my message could have been clearer. More importantly, I would never trivialise mental health or use the term lightly.
Nothing in either of Osaka’s statements support Morgan’s sneering labelling of the player as “Narcissistic Naomi” or “world sport’s most petulant little madam”. Once again a 56-year-old man is using his vast and undeserved media platform to bully and harass a woman half his age. And — surprise, surprise — it’s actually just a new front in his obsessive one-sided war on the Duchess of Sussex.
Beneath the frankly unhinged headline, Narcissistic Naomi's cynical exploitation of mental health to silence the media is right from the Meghan and Harry playbook of wanting their press cake and eating it, Morgan writes:
Naomi Osaka is a brilliant tennis player…
… She is also the highest-paid female athlete in the world, raking in $55.2 million in the past 12 months, $5.2 million from tennis winnings and $50 million from endorsement deals with the likes of Nike, Beats by Dre, Mastercard and Nissin…
… Unfortunately, Ms Osaka is also an arrogant spoiled brat whose fame and fortune appears to have inflated her ego to gigantic proportions.
How else to explain her extraordinary decision to announce she will no longer participate in media press conferences, supposedly to protect her mental health?
Morgan is pretending that he doesn’t know that money is not an impregnable suit of armour to protect your mental health. Osaka could be the richest woman in the world and still face anxiety and depression. In fact, at just 23, the pressures of her performance-driven, endorsement-laden life are arguably more likely to lead to those feelings than a ‘normal’ one.
But rather than seeing Osaka as a young woman in an extraordinary position who is struggling with those demands and finding the hectoring, hostile, and entitled attitude of the press hard to handle at the moment, Morgan calls her “petulant” and continues:
[She] was fined $15,000 for refusing to appear in front of the media… Of course, given that she earns around $6,000 an hour, Osaka will recoup this fine while she sleeps tonight, rendering the fine utterly meaningless.
What's not meaningless is her frankly contemptible attempt to avoid legitimate media scrutiny by weaponizing mental health to justify her boycott.
Morgan departed Good Morning Britain after the row that followed his comment that he “didn’t believe a word” of the Duchess of Sussex’s statements about her mental health during the Oprah interview. Now, the mental health analyser has logged on again and he has determined that Naomi Osaka does not meet his standard of distress. Sadly, he secured his professional qualifications in this area by scrawling a certificate in crayon on the back of a Pizza Express kids menu.
[image description] Twitter avatar for @PaulbernalUK
Paul Bernal
@PaulbernalUK
What is it about Naomi Osaka and Meghan Markle that gets Piers Morgan so worked up, I wonder. Image
May 31st 2021
1,726 Retweets10,537 Likes
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He claims that after reading Osaka’s Instagram post about press conferences, which he calls “an orgy of narcissistic twaddle”, “several times” he experienced “mounting fury”. Remember, this is a 56-year-old man contorting his melted waxwork face into an angry rictus over a 23-year-old woman he doesn’t know choosing not to appear at a press conference. I am not convinced that Osaka is the narcissistic one here.
Morgan continues:
One thing’s very clear: This has got nothing to do with mental health.
What Osaka really means is that she doesn’t want to face the media if she hasn’t played well, because the beastly journalists might actually dare to criticise her performance…
… This is straight out of the Meghan and Harry playbook of wanting to have the world’s largest cake and eating it, by exploiting the media for ruthless self-promotion but using mental health to silence any media criticism.
One thing’s very clear: This has got nothing to do with Naomi Osaka.
What Morgan really means is that he’s still beetroot red over a perceived slight by Meghan back in 2016, which he only started ranting about after he didn’t get an invite to her wedding and was “ghosted”. That came after two years of him tweeting about her as a “friend”.
Piers Morgan is simply using Naomi Osaka as another way to wage his sad fuck guerilla war against the Sussexes. And Osaka is just the latest in a long string of young women to fall short of his weirdo expectations.
He berated Lady Gaga on social media, attacking her after she spoke about dealing with PTSD after being raped, and goaded her so much that she agreed to an interview clearly in the hope of getting him to stop.
He attacked Arianna Grande after the Manchester Arena attack and kept up his bullying for six months until she agreed to have dinner with him after what he said was a “chance meeting”. After she had conceded to spending time in his fetid presence he shifted tack and started creepily calling her his “soulmate” — she was 26 at the time.
These obsessions with young women are often framed as “feuds” in the press, but they are, in fact, byline-enabled stalking. Morgan has a huge platform and he abuses it to get women to concede to him, to make mollifying noises, to pretend that they are his friends just to get him to stop.
The only difference between Piers Morgan and a street harasser screaming at a woman to smile is that MailOnline and ITV pay him handsomely for the privilege. Tonight, Morgan’s ‘Life Stories’ interview with Keir Starmer goes out on ITV and he’ll once again get a chance to dominate the headlines. His views are given credence by the political elite even as he continues to abuse women for attention and praise.
It’s a tactic he’s used for decades, stretching back to his time on The Sun’s Bizarre column, where he insisted on inserting pictures of himself cuddling up to celebrities. His ‘feud’/obsession with Madonna has run on for decades, beginning in his Fleet Street days when she didn’t give him the exclusive on her first pregnancy and continuing right up until now.
As with Lady Gaga, Morgan has repeatedly mocked and dismissed Madonna for saying she was raped in the past. However, unlike Gaga, Madonna has refused to pay homage to Morgan with an interview. He preemptively ‘banned’ her from his CNN show back in 2011 though she had shown not one scintilla of interest in appearing, and tried to reignite interest in his hatred for her in 2016 by saying he would end “the feud” if she apologised to him. He’s still waiting for that call.
Morgan’s attack on Osaka, which is simply another attempt to get at Meghan, came two days after a Daily Mail interview with Jan Moir in which he grumbled:
[Meghan] thinks she’s beaten me? She might be in for a surprise because I suspect I’ll be back soon. If Meghan thinks she has cancelled me or won the battle, she is in for a big shock. I’ve never been more popular.
It made me think of this moment in Mad Men:
Michael Ginsberg: What do I care? I got a million of them… a million…
Don Draper: Good. I guess I’m lucky you work for me.
Michael Ginsberg: I feel bad for you.
Don Draper: I don’t think about you at all.
Meghan is Draper. Morgan is a total Ginsberg — smug and self-satisfied, convinced that Meghan is as obsessed with him as he is with her, certain that they are having a feud between equals and not the same dynamic as every woman cursed with a sad but sinister stalker.
And while Morgan acts like he’s a brave truth-teller, he only dares pump his horseshit opinions into MailOnline’s open sewer once he’s fairly sure that there are enough other media bullies taking the same line. The Australian’s tennis correspondent Will Swanton filed his misogynist screed a full day before Morgan got round to his.
There’s a clue as to how Morgan expects young women to act around him in the latest instalment of his journals — The Diary of Samuel Creeps — which are published in The Mail on Sunday.
Recounting his visit to what sounds like a truly mind-numbing party (“…drinking cocktails, nibbling canapés and having actual ‘fun’ in the garden of the Notting Hill home of Gabriela Peacock, nutritionist to the stars.”) he describes an encounter with Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie:
Princess Beatrice arrived with her husband Eduardo. They announced her first pregnancy today, and both seemed ecstatically happy.
‘Please thank your mum for her supportive texts when I left GMB,’ I told her. ‘She’s always been very loyal to me, and I greatly appreciate it.’
‘Well, you’ve been very loyal to her,’ Beatrice replied, ‘and she appreciates that too.’
I’ve always had a soft spot for Fergie.
Princess Eugenie, who gave birth to her first child three months ago, joined her sister. ‘If you two need any parenting tips for your expanding Royal creche, I’ve had four kids so am something of an expert,’ I suggested.
Their regal eyebrows shot up in synchronised horror. ‘No, we’re good thanks, Piers,’ came the firm, unified response.
I’ve known both Princesses since they were very young, and they’ve been through a lot of tough times in the media spotlight, especially lately over their father Prince Andrew’s shameful friendship with billionaire paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
But they never complain, or give whining interviews, or publicly trash their family, and they’re always incredibly nice, polite and good fun – which all makes such a refreshing change from their narcissistic, self-pitying, family-abusing, spoiled-brat cousins over in California.
Piers Morgan wants to be treated as famous rather than infamous, and likes women to indulge his antics and act as if they’re amused by his sweaty-handed attention. Fergie — a woman devoid of discernible talent beyond tolerating her ex-husband’s second career as the top Yelp! reviewer at Jeffrey Epstein’s houses — is a-ok with Piers because she sucks up to him. Similarly, her daughters are delightful because they’ll tolerate Morgan’s dad jokes and fetid familiarity.
Morgan is not a journalist, a truth-teller, a maverick, or a commentator in anything but bad faith. He’s nothing more than a misogynist with a MailOnline byline and some big money contracts. Don’t let him pretend to be anything else.
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I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?
omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)
- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous
- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)
- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents
- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)
- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great
- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence
- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long
- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)
- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross
- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts
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About a new job
Nothing beats the feeling of rampant success like being a trainee in your 30s.
I remember watching Friends when I was a teen and thinking that even though Chandler's career change so late in life was brave, it was also deeply lame. I resented his poor life choices, I felt that in his place, if I reached that age and had built a successful career, whatever it was, I'd just stick to it and make the most of what I had.
Now that I'm a couple of years older than most of the Friends cast at the time... man. I feel ya, Mr. Bing.
I have a consistent tendency to become a workaholic in no time and overwork myself to exhaustion. And with overworking and exhausting come resentment and anger towards my employer. Instead of creating boundaries or trying to solve the issue with my company, I go on until my body and brain just can't keep up with it anymore and quit out of the blue. The company, who was happily milking me to their heart's content, freaks out. They counter-offer, schedule urgency meetings with HR to talk me out of it. Because even though I'm dead inside and constantly burnt, I'm good. I'm really good at what I do, and I'm also what I usually call a working beast. Not in a hyperbolic way, in the farm-bull-pulling-a-carriage-of-debris-across-an-uphill-field way. So I invariably end up leaving in bad terms from the company, spend a month or so trying to launch my freelance career, fail at it again because my obsessive anxiety won't let me live not knowing exactly what my detailed future is gonna be in the next month, and start again at yet another company.
And here I am now. It's 7 am. I have to wake up at 6 am in winter. This is my third day and I already want to call it quits. It's winter here, so when I opened my eyes it was so damn cold and dark. Like, pitch-black night. It's 7 am and I'm working with a desk lamp on, which gives the whole apartment a look and feel of being working overtime at the eerie hours of night that does not help my overall mood.
I know, I know. I should be thankful for the blessing of having a job in this uncertain time and age, when so many are struggling to make ends meet. I am thankful. But I am also tired and in a deep no-bullshit state of mind and soul that is not convenient to start working on a new place.
What's killing me is how disorganized they are. To begin with, I started on a Thursday. Nobody said a word to me. I'm working from home for the time being, so you can imagine the feeling of WTH when you're staring at Skype on your desk, waiting for someone to remember that they have to train you. I eventually gave up. I devoted myself to reading the endless HR messages and whatever employee manuals they sent my way and then I binged a couple of episodes of Cherry Magic! on Crunchyroll.
Then someone showed up. I suspect they are my immediate boss, but who knows. I don't even have a company organization chart. They asked me to complete about 50 e-learning tutorials for a determined software, take the tests that would trigger once I watched it all, and send them the certificates of completion as proof.
I told them that in my previous job, and the job before that one, and the one before the job before that one, I used to teach advanced courses on that software for professionals. Do you really want me to do this instead of, you know, learning something more specific to my position that would allow me to be useful to you sooner?
No, do the tutorials. It will be good to review the basics.
Fine. My fighting spirit is dead anyways. I choose my battles now. My boss (I guess they are) made clear they expected the e-learning to take my whole first day, and vanished into oblivion.
So, I didn't watch the videos. I accessed the tests through a different website that gave people the chance to take them without watching that fuckload of tutorials, completed them in 15 minutes, downloaded my perfect-score certificates and devoted the rest of my working day to inking my webcomic.
Day 2 was no better at first until at some point near my lunch hour the exhausted coworker for whose immediate benefit I was hired appeared and gave me a task to complete. I won't bore you with the details, but in short, they asked me to prepare a batch of files to be sent for revision before the final delivery to the client.
I was not taught how to do it. They sent me a link to download a previous delivery to use as a reference.
I managed to complete the task, of course I did. It's what I do best, I find my way on my own under pressure and against the clock. But I'm pissed. I'm pissed because this, you don't do *this*.
I'm fine with it because I am who I am, a 30 year old with no soul, no expectations, and a ton of experience dealing with this crap.
But what if I had been a proper newbie in the industry? A junior fresh outta college, a kid on their first or second job. Do you know what kind of stress this situation would put them under? How awful it is to be treated this way?
I was in charge of training new hires before, and I took pains to make them feel safe and welcome. I would spend fucking hours burning their brains on shared-screen calls on Skype, showing them every detail. I wrote whole ass step-by-step process manuals, so simple and detailed they were annoying, so that they would know what to do even if nobody had time for them.
This neglect of trainees pisses me off. It doesn't matter that I am able to complete the task at hand, that I am able to train myself. I shouldn't have. Nobody should.
I know I say I'm dead inside a lot, and a great deal of that is thanks to years of abusive workplaces. So even though I don't give a fuck about a ton of things, unfairness triggers me. I won't have it, I don't want anyone to suffer it.
So yeah. That.
Last Friday the only coworker that speaks to me (the others won't even say good morning back to you, there's a suspicious lack of will to live in this company) called me an hour before my shift was over and rushed me through a ton of complicated processes and technical instructions and deemed me ready to undertake the next huge project that client sent, from start to finish. They would train me sometime later, they said, and I left feeling uneasy once I had completed my first hour of overtime on my second day.
I shrugged.
This place looks as toxic as it could get, but the person I am today is overflowing with nuclear waste, so I think I'm prepared to neutralize their shit with a ton of counter-not-giving-a-shit in return.
We'll see how it goes. Unlike Chandler Bing, I have no hopes here, so I think I'm better prepared to thrive.
#slice of life#new job#trainee#toxic office#the office#at least I work from home so I can shit on the clock completely at ease
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Stupid For You, Chapter 9 (Crygi, Jankie) - Metaluna
Chapter summary: After the day from Hell, Crystal and Gigi have an important conversation.
Being a happy person is something that Crystal prided herself in. No matter what, she always tried to have a positive outlook on life, even when Ryan was bad to her, or when her parents weren’t around. She could always look on the bright side of life.
That was until she and Gigi fought. She’d never felt such negativity in her eighteen years. Just when she thought it couldn’t get any worse, Brita’s party happened, which led to Vomitgate. Vomitgate was singlehandedly the worst thing that had ever happened to her social life. Now, she couldn’t go to work without someone whispering about her in the breakroom. Everywhere she went, someone was there to make her feel embarrassed, usually people she didn’t even know.
While she sat in the breakroom, she saw a girl that Gigi worked with, whose name she thought to be Dahlia, whispering to some girl Crystal didn’t recognize. The moment Crystal looked in their direction, the other girl shushed Dahlia and they both laughed.
Finally she had enough.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Crystal demanded.
“Excuse me?” the girl asked coolly.
“I know you and everyone else in this fucking park is talking shit about me.”
Dahlia rolled her eyes. “We’ve got good reason to.”
“Are you kidding? You can’t tell me you haven’t been messy at some point. In fact, I’ve heard stories. I know you’re messy.”
Dahlia sat dumbfounded as Crystal turned her back.
“Hey, girl,” Heidi said as she sat across from Crystal.
Crystal grunted in acknowledgement.
“Don’t pay attention to them.”
“What’s wrong with them?” Crystal whined.
“I don’t know. I know for a fact Miss Dahlia over there definitely got sick at my party and completely missed the toilet,” Heidi said staring at Dahlia, making sure she’d heard every word.
As Crystal lay her head on the table, groaning dramatically, she felt her phone buzz.
Gigi.
Heidi saw the shock on Crystal’s face. “It’s not your boyfriend, is it?”
She shook her head. “Gigi.”
Raising an eyebrow, Heidi said, “Oh, shit. What’s it say?”
Crystal read the text aloud to Heidi.
Hey. I know youve been going through it, and that really sucks. Id like to talk things through if youre down
Crystal’s thumbs couldn’t move fast enough.
oh my god its so good to hear from you. yea things have been Awful… i definitely wanna talk when are you free??
“She wants to talk about things,” Crystal said to Heidi, as she feverishly tapped her fingers on the table anxiously awaiting Gigi’s response.
Okay awesome! Im soft closing tonight, so Im off at 8. Games is off at 8 at the latest right? Meet me at the ferris wheel.
“Wait, why does she want to meet at the Ferris wheel?” Crystal asked, looking up from her phone to Heidi.
“The grand tradition,” Heidi said dramatically. “Anytime there’s any grief with two people at the Isle, you take a ride on the Ferris wheel to talk it out. Mainly because the two of you are stuck together, so you either sit awkwardly or talk through your shit.”
“That’s… weird. Okay.”
Crystal quickly typed up a response..
ill be there!!!!
Crystal felt relieved. Things were finally turning around. Or so she’d hoped.
Later on, Crystal’s shift at the ring toss game was interrupted by a middle-aged mother’s tirade at not winning a single time. “Can’t I just buy the prize?”
Normally Crystal was sympathetic, but considering it was the third time that day and she was already having a terrible day, her responses were short, much like her temper. “No. You have to win the game.”
“You’re ruining my little Lucy’s day!” the woman motioned to her little devil spawn.
“Sorry,” Crystal mumbled.
“I know you probably don’t give a fuck and probably don’t even want to be here, but you’re literally ruining our vacation! We paid good money to be here and now I can’t even win this fucking game? Are you serious?”
Crystal shrugged as she accidentally let out the yawn she was holding in.
“Young lady, you are being extremely rude!”
“I can call my supervisor if you want,” Crystal offered, taking the radio off her belt.
“No. I’m going straight to guest relations.”
“It’s to your left as you leave the park.”
Just as the woman turned to leave, the woman turned around and spat in Crystal’s face. At first, Crystal was in such a state of shock she didn’t realize what happened. By the time she processed it, she let out a scream.
Thankfully, Widow stopped the woman from leaving as Ben called Brooke who came out to handle the situation almost instantly. Before long, there were two security guards who came to escort the angry woman and her child out of the park.
Just as on her first day, Brooke comforted Crystal. “Are you okay, honey?”
Hot tears ran down Crystal’s face as she shook her head. “No.”
“Let’s get you out of here.”
Brooke led Crystal back into the money room. As Brooke gave Crystal a bottle of water, the floodgates opened. Every single negative emotion Crystal had been feeling the past couple of months rose to the surface. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d cried this hard.
“Let it out, honey,” Brooke rubbed Crystal’s shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” Crystal apologized. “I’m sorry you’re stuck taking care of me again.”
Brooke smiled compassionately. “I like taking care of you all. It’s kind of why I do this.”
Crystal wiped her eyes. “Really?”
She nodded and hesitated before she continued. “I feel like there’s something else going on. Being spat on is disgusting, but I feel like just from what I’ve seen with you interacting with guests and just in general, you aren’t yourself right now, are you?”
This only made Crystal cry harder.
“Deep breaths. Talk to me.”
Once she caught her breath, Crystal told Brooke everything. Starting from her fight with Gigi, ending with Vomitgate, she put everything on the table.
“Vomit…gate?” Brooke questioned. “Okay. Well. That’s terrible. I’m sorry your peers are being so immature. I can try to say someth–”
“No!” Crystal shouted. “Sorry… I mean… that’s not necessary.”
“Don’t worry about it. Also, Crystal, every season I feel like there’s a new host who just has the worst luck with guests, and it’s always the gentlest souls, too. I’m sorry to say that it’s you this season.”
“Oh fucking great,” Crystal muttered. “Sorry.”
“I don’t fucking care if you swear,” Brooke said laughing. “But, because that woman did spit on you, which is considered as an act of violence. So, I’m going to need to take you to HR and you’re going to have to file a report.”
Brooke immediately saw the panic on Crystal’s face.
“You aren’t in trouble, not by any means, Crystal. It’s just to make sure that this is on record. Do you want to press charges?”
Immediately, Crystal shook her head. “No. That’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
Crystal nodded.
Once Crystal managed to stop crying, Brooke grabbed a Kleenex to fix Crystal’s makeup, and led them to the HR building. Crystal hadn’t been to the HR building since orientation on her first day.
Brooke led her into the room where park orientation was held. Instead of there being rows of chairs, there was a table with two office chairs on either side. A woman who looked like she shopped exclusively in the clearance section of TJ Maxx with a tall stack of papers in front of her was sitting on one side.
“Do you want me to stay?” Brooke offered.
“Yes, please,” Crystal whispered as she sat across from the woman.
“You must be Crystal,” the woman began. “I’m Monique. Please, sit.”
Crystal pursed her lips and didn’t say anything. Brooke, who was sitting next to her rubbed her back in reassurance. “Yes.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened today?”
No. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Okay. Start from the beginning. I’m just going to write what you say, okay?”
Crystal nodded. “So… I was at the game–”
“Which game?” Monique interrupted. “Sorry. You have to be as thorough as possible.”
“It’s okay. I was at the ring toss game today at like 2:30. This woman and her kid come up to play, and they lose, and she gets pi–…. Mad at me and starts yelling at me like the guests normally do. Maybe I could have been a little bit warmer with my responses… Whatever. Anyway. I asked if she wanted to talk to Brooke, and she said no, she’s going to HR. I told them where it was, since it’s kind of hidden, you know? I think she thought I was being cocky or something. Next thing I know, she spits in my face.”
“What do you mean, could have been warmer in your responses?”
Crystal sighed. “I don’t know. I was nice to her like I always am. But usually I listen more? I don’t know.”
“Did you say anything with malicious intent?”
“ What? No! I just… kind of wasn’t super into my responses.”
“What do you mean ‘into’?”
“I just kinda was monotone with it, I guess? Which, like, I know isn’t good, but I had a bad day and–” Crystal cut herself off as she felt tears forming. Brooke noticed immediately as she slipped her a Kleenex.
“We strive for excellent guest service here.”
“I know,” Crystal whined. “I just…”
“I think that she’s given you more than enough details, Ms. Hart,” Brooke said.
“Okay, okay. Can I just have you write everything you just told me?” She slid Crystal the stack of papers.
The sheer amount of paperwork was massive. There were so many spots to initial and sign that by the time she got to writing her statement, she felt like she couldn’t write anymore.
Monique rose. “I’ll leave you two to it. Just leave the statement when you’re done.”
“Crystal, hey, you’re okay. It’s okay. It’s a lot, but just write everything that happened. You don’t have to say that you weren’t as nice as you could be. I’m sure you were kind like you always are. Just write it as detailed as you can, okay?” Brooke’s tone comforted Crystal as she began to write.
By the time Crystal finished writing her statement, she’d filled nearly all the lines on the paper. After signing her name one last time, she dramatically threw the pen down and stretched.
“Can we go back yet?” Crystal asked.
“Not quite yet,” Brooke said as she led Crystal to the back of the HR building.
“Why not?” she whined.
Wordlessly, Brooke led Crystal into a room she had to scan her badge to enter. The lights flickered a few times before coming in to reveal a breakroom that looked like it hadn’t been renovated since the park opened back in the eighties.
“You, my dear, need some ice cream.” Brooke went to the freezer and pulled out one of the overpriced ice cream bars that were sold to guests, which Crystal gratefully took.
“You’re the best,” Crystal said as she took a bite.
When she made it back to her game booth, Crystal was convinced her day was going to be better. If nothing else, she got to take a break for an hour and eat ice cream. It was going to be a good rest of the day, or so she thought.
On her second break, Crystal went into the restroom. As she locked the stall door, she heard a group enter. It was at least three people judging by the voices she could hear.
“Anyway yeah,” one of the voices began. “Gigi’s gotta hate her by this point. Those were some nice ass shoes she was wearing.”
“I thought they already hated each other? They never are with each other anymore. They were together so much,” a second voice said.
A third voice spoke up. “Yeah it was weird as fuck they were together so much you’d think they were dating or something.”
“I don’t know,” the second voice continued. “Either way, I’m glad Gigi’s not friends with her anymore. She’s annoying as fuck.”
“Right? The bitch doesn’t stop crying ever.” the first voice agreed. “Plus what’s up with her makeup? Sweetheart, the circus isn’t in town until next month.”
The other two laughed.
Of course her day wasn’t going to improve. Why would it? She knew that she shouldn’t let people’s words get to her. Crystal was used to being picked on for being eccentric. But with the day she’d already had, Crystal had enough.
Crystal forcefully slammed the stall door open. She didn’t even know the three girls, but vaguely recognized them as being in Dahlia’s gang. They were all standing in front of the sink fixing their makeup and hair. Crystal body checked one of the girls to get to the sink.
“What do you think you’re doing?” the girl jeered.
“Really? You’re going to talk all that shit about me and not even get the fuck out of my way? Next time you’ve got some shit to say, say it to my face, you cowards.”
When she got back from her break, she was visibly shaken. When Brooke made her rounds to check on everyone, she noticed just how upset Crystal looked. “Are you okay?”
Crystal shook her head.
“Today’s just not your day, is it, honey?”
“Nope.”
“Well,” Brooke began. “We’re overstaffed right now. Do you want to go home?”
This was music to Crystal’s ears. “Absolutely.”
“Go clock out. I’ll take care of it.”
In Crystal’s relief of leaving the hellhole that was work, she forgot all about meeting Gigi.
Gigi checked the time on her phone. It was 8:10. Five more minutes. She’d wait five minutes to see if Crystal would show. Gigi decided to not text Crystal, and decided that if she wanted to show up, she’d be there.
Five more minutes passed. As Gigi looked around The Boardwalk, there was no bright red hair to be seen. Maybe she just got held up. Gigi decided to give it another ten minutes, before giving up and defeatedly walking back to her Jeep.
Fuck you, Crystal.
Later that night, Gigi laid on her bed staring up at the ceiling wondering how she could let Crystal play with her emotions so much.
Just as she was about to wallow in her self-pity some more, her phone buzzed, notifying her that Jan was calling on Facetime.
“Hey, gorg!” Jan greeted, as she was lying in bed with Jackie.
“Hey guys,” Gigi said glumly.
“How’d it go?” Jackie asked.
“It… didn’t.”
Jan’s eyes widened. “She didn’t show up?”
Gigi shook her head as she felt herself starting to cry. “I’m so stupid.”
“Listen here, Gigi,” Jan began. “You are not stupid.”
“Did you text her?” Jackie asked.
“No, because I figured that if she really wanted to see me, I shouldn’t have to remind her,” Gigi explained. “But why do you think she didn’t want to see me?”
“I don’t know, Gigi,” Jan said. “Who knows what’s going on in that weird little brain of hers.”
Gigi plopped face down on her pillow as she screeched. “Fuck her. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, then it’s her loss. I don’t even care anymore.”
“You have to do what’s best for you,” Jackie said.
An alert informed Gigi she got a text. From Crystal.
“Fuck. It’s her,” Gigi squeaked.
“What did you say about not caring anymore?” Jan teased.
oh my god gigi i am so sorry you have no idea holy shit i had the worst day of my life. someone spit on me and i had to file a report and then these girls were talking about me and literally everything was terrible today to the point that my supervisor let me go home early and i came home and i fell right asleep and i just woke up like ten minutes ago and i feel terrible and you probably don’t want ot talk to me but oh my god gigi please im so sorry please please please talk to me
Gigi went back to the call as she reread the text. “And the impressive part is there was not a single punctuation mark in that entire text, and only one typo.”
“Wow,” Jackie said. “What are you going to do?”
“What should I do?”
Jan shrugged. “What do you think feels right?”
“I really still lo… like her a lot. As a friend,” Gigi managed ro recover smoothly. “I don’t really want to ruin that.”
“Then tell her that,” Jan suggested.
Gigi carefully composed her response.
Wow that sounds…. terrible. Im really sorry that happened to you :(( I’m definitely still down to talk. Same place and time tomorrow?
Crystal texted back immediately.
ill be there.
After Jan hung up, she rested her head on Jackie.
“We’re good friends,” she said confidently.
“We are,” Jackie said as she kissed Jan’s cheek.
“I feel bad for them though.”
“I do too,” Jackie agreed.
“This feel selfish to say,” Jan began, “but even though they’re having a bad time, this is probably one of the best summers I’ve had in a while.”
Jackie smiled. “Do I have anything to do with that?”
“Baby, you have everything to do with it.” Jan snuggled closer to Jackie.
“Hey, Jan?” Jackie began nervously.
“Yes, Jackie?”
“I have to talk to you about something.”
Immediately, tears began to well in Jan’s eyes. “Do you not want to do this anymore?”
“What? No!”
“Then what?” Jan was near hysterics.
“Jan… This has been the best summer I’ve had in a while, too. And you’re the reason for that. Every second we spend together is the happiest I’ve been in a very long time. I spent so much time in high school planning the next step, but when I’m with you I live in the moment. I stop worrying.”
Jan didn’t say anything, so Jackie continued. “I know that we had a rocky start, and every day I regret that. I just want you to know that I’m ready.”
Jan looked up at Jackie. “Ready for what?”
Jackie was fairly certain that Jan knew exactly what Jackie meant. “Jan. I’m asking you to be my girlfriend.”
Jan remained silent.
“Jan?”
“Shh…” Jan closed her eyes and raised her hand in front of Jackie’s face.
Jackie raised an eyebrow. “Did you just shush me?”
“I want to remember this.”
“Remember… what?”
“I want to remember the second I became your girlfriend,” Jan said smiling.
“God, you’re dramatic, honey,” Jackie said rolling her eyes.
“You love it,” Jan teased.
The next day at work, Gigi couldn’t focus on anything. She desperately wanted for her shift to be over so that things could be right again.
Luckily for her, the park was busy since it was a weekend, and it had rained all day, so guests were taking shelter in the store which kept her busy. Gigi couldn’t sell overpriced plastic ponchos fast enough. She was so focused on meeting Crystal that a woman yelling at her for how cheaply made the ponchos were didn’t even register.
When it was time for Gigi to clock out, she couldn’t run fast enough. Quickly, she changed into whatever t-shirt and shorts she had in her work bag before making her way to The Boardwalk.
Gigi was surprised that she beat Crystal there, considering Crystal worked right next to the Ferris wheel. She tried to not think about it too much as she took a seat on a nearby bench. To pass the time, she anxiously bounced her knee up and down as she scrolled through social media. After what seemed like hours, she finally saw Crystal approach her.
Since it had just stopped raining and the outdoor rides had just started running again, there was no wait. As they stepped on the platform, Crystal said, “After you, my love.”
Gigi took a deep breath as she sat on the damp cabin of the Ferris wheel. Before Gigi could even fully sit down, words poured out of Crystal’s mouth so quickly she barely understood what she was saying.
“Gigi, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your shoes… I know they were your favorite. I’m so embarrassed.”
“They’re just a pair of shoes, Crystal. Don’t worry about it.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Also, I’m really sorry that people are giving you such a hard time about it. Don’t listen to Dahlia or her little clique. They think they’re hot shit but everyone in Sales hates them. Even Jan won’t talk to them.”
“Damn. They must be bad considering that Jan would talk to a wall… Anyway, thanks Gigi. I’ll try. I don’t know what their problem is.”
Gigi shrugged and repeated, “Like I said, they think they’re hot shit.”
The two girls sat in an awkward silence as Gigi tapped her fingers against her thigh. Gigi hoped to God that Crystal would speak up before she did.
“About National Roller Coaster Day…” Crystal began. “Me going with Widow and Heidi instead of you guys wasn’t because I wanted to hurt your guys’ feelings or didn’t want to hang out with you. I miss you guys a lot. Anyway, I legitimately had no plans of going because Ryan was being needy. But, Widow showed up on my doorstep sobbing since her boyfriend broke up with her. I asked if going to the after-hours thing would cheer her up and she said it would. I made up some dumb excuse to Ryan and went with Widow and met up with Heidi. I was thinking about texting Jan that but I felt like it’d be weird to text her that, and I figured we wouldn’t run into each other, anyway.”
“And then we did.”
“And then we did,” Crystal sighed. “Gigi, please know there was no malicious intent with that one. I miss spending time with you.”
Gigi also sighed. “I miss our car rides.”
“No one else I know will listen to me sing One Direction the way you do.”
“I miss your coffee-making abilities,” Gigi admitted.
“We had some great times earlier in the season. But I had to go and ruin it. All of it.” Gigi didn’t say anything and let Crystal continue. “I should have never used any of what you told me against you. I don’t know why I did it.”
“You were pissed and said whatever came into your mind.”
Crystal sighed. “It’s still no excuse. I said some awful shit.”
“You did. I probably shouldn’t have insulted your boyfriend,” Gigi admitted.
Crystal sighed as tears formed in her eyes. “It’s… complicated.”
“I can’t even imagine,” Gigi said sympathetically as she looked at Crystal’s arm that had a bruise identical to the one Gigi found. “I know that you didn’t mean it. We all say stupid shit when we’re upset about stuff. Crystal, you don’t have a mean bone in your body. I hate seeing you this sad.”
“I feel like I’m such a bad person,” Crystal said, wiping her eyes.
“My mom told me this a while ago and it stuck. Crystal, bad people don’t think they’re bad people, and they sure as hell don’t try to become better people.”
“Your mom’s a smart lady.”
“She’s been through hell and back, that’s for sure.”
As the conversation dipped into another lull, the Ferris wheel reached the top. Admiring the cotton candy sky, Gigi thought long and hard about what she wanted to say next. She decided if she and Crystal were going to make their friendship work, everything had to be on the table.
Well, maybe not everything. Crystal didn’t have to know she was in love with her. But, Gigi figured Crystal should at least know the part of her she was hiding.
Slowly, the Ferris wheel reached the platform, and before Gigi could speak up, Crystal stepped out and held out her hand to help Gigi get out.
Shit.
#rpdr fanfiction#gigi goode#crystal methyd#jackie cox#jaida essence hall#jan sport#nicky doll#crygi#jankie#jaida x nicky#lesbian au#slow burn#stupid for you#metaluna#s12
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Magnolia
I don’t know much about Magnolia or Paul Thomas Anderson, but I do know that it takes someone paying me to get me to watch a 3-hr+ drama that doesn’t star Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, and a really big boat. This is one of my mom’s favorite movies which is why she requested it for me to review. It’s packed with a balls-to-the-wall star-studded cast (Tom Cruise! Julianne Moore! Phillip Seymour Hoffman! John C. Reilly! William H. Macy! Felicity Huffman!) and I’m genuinely excited to see how they all fit together. Cause they have to all fit together in some coherent way, right? Well...
Do you remember in Sorry to Bother You when the Equisapiens came out and things just took like...a real turn? That’s kind of what this was like. Whereas StBY pushed a thought to its most extreme, but logical, conclusion, what Paul Thomas Anderson has done here feels like a magician doing a lot of impressive illusions - sawing a lady in half, making a motorcycle disappear, pulling smaller things out of bigger things - and then for his final trick, walking onstage amidst a grand plume of smoke, dropping his pants, taking a gigantic shit, and then saying, “You’ve been a great audience, thanks a lot and goodnight!” It’s not like you can say the experience was BAD. Everything up to the finale was a really great time! But when you’re left on a note that is that bafflingly odd, it kinda colors the way you’ll remember the whole thing.
Magnolia is the story of one long day in the life of 12 people living in Los Angeles who are all connected via an extensive web from acquaintances to married couples to parents and children to paid caregivers and beyond. It’s a day that has the same kind of ups and downs as any other day until it, well, turns into something else entirely. I’m not sure how else to explain it, but if you want to know more, spoilers will be spoiled below.
Some thoughts:
Patton Oswalt cameo! I am a massive fan and thought I knew his whole filmography and OMG how did I not know that he was in this!!
Ok, in spite of my skepticism this entire opening sequence about coincidence had me hooked IMMEDIATELY. Like, this is some damn good storytelling, if this were a novel, I would not be able to put it down - that pull, that’s what it feels like.
Am I the only person whose encyclopedic memory of character actors/roles gets distracted when they see someone from something that is wildly disparate compared to the role you’re currently watching? For example, I had to pause the movie and confirm via IMDB that I did just see Professor Sprout from HP scream “Shut the fuck up!” at her husband while brandishing a shotgun.
Would people really recognize a grown ass man from being a successful child game show contestant? I’ll tell you the answer, no they wouldn’t, because no one realizes that Peter Billingsley (aka Ralphie from A Christmas Story) is the head of the elf production line in Elf.
I knew this was a stacked cast, but holy SHIT this is a stacked cast. If I had $1 for every fantastic character actor I recognize in this, I would have at least $37, and these are people in the film who have maybe 2-3 lines each. It’s a deep bench is what I’m saying.
This makes me miss Phillip Seymour Hoffman so, so very much.
Watching PSH care for and be so compassionate and gentle with his hospice patient, Earl (Jason Robards),makes my heart ache terribly. All of the people who have been unable to perform this kindness, this type of compassionate care for their closest loved ones as they lie dying in isolation of Covid...it’s overwhelming.
OMG I’m counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Very Good Dogs in the old man’s house!
I know Scientology is evil and he’s undeniably a complicated and morally grey person. I know all that. But goddamn I just love watching Tom Cruise COMMIT. Particularly when he commits to just absolute fucking sleazebag slimeballs. And boy oh boy is Frank Mackey an absolute fucking sleazebag slimeball.
Related - I know Frank looks like Tom Cruise, so he could get people to sleep with him no matter what, but I honestly feel like as a human being, this flesh suit is WAY more attractive balding and fat in Tropic Thunder than he is in this shiny brown shirt/leather vest/long hair combo.
I’m getting an uncomfortable vibe about these black characters being written by an artsy white dude, because I don’t know any young black kids who want to hang around with cops and offer up information about who committed a murder in their building. In fact, the way all of the black characters are treated in this film - as liars, criminals, the disingenuous “main stream media,” and thieves - feels rooted in some racist ass bullshit. We see a lot of nuance in our white characters, but even in a film that has, shockingly, more than one key black role, we don’t get that spectrum or nuance.
There is nothing I would love more than to learn that Frank Mackey is 1) gay 2) impotent or 3) both. He’s so disgustingly over-the-top misogynistic, it honestly feels like it should all be a complete act.
I confess I am on the edge of my seat trying to figure out how all these narrative threads tie together. It’s compelling as hell, even though half the time I don’t know why these people are having these long, meandering conversations. The pacing feels so deliberate, like a puzzle coming together. There’s real craftsmanship in how every scene is plotted to feel connected rather than manic or disjointed.
This pharmacist is being unprofessional as hell. Judgy McJudgerson, mind your fucking business, Julianne Moore’s father is dying! [ETA: ope, that’s embarrassing, Earl is actually her husband.]
NO THE DOG IS EATING THE PILLS OH NO VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE DOG.
I think I knew this, but this soundtrack is fantastic. All Aimee Mann and Supertramp, and Jon Brion’s score is this thrumming, anxious thing full of strings that underscore all these nervous conversations, and then it shifts into these low, mournful horns when things start to take a turn and everyone is reaching their lowest points.
I love this interviewer (April Grace) who is taking Frank (Tom Cruise) to task. I think it’s particularly noteworthy that she is a black woman, because the kind of misogyny Frank peddles is rooted in white supremacy.
Stanley (Jeremy Blackman) is breaking my goddamn heart here. I think he and Phil (PSH) are my favorite characters.
Jim (John C Reilly) is the perfect example of how even a cop with the best intentions, with absolute kindness and love is in heart, is abusing his power and sexually harassing a woman he encountered in the line of duty, who is eager to appease him because she doesn’t want to be charged with a crime. This movie reads a LOT differently than it did in 1999.
I normally really love Julianne Moore, but she is a screeching mess in this. I can’t stop staring at her mouth and all the contortions it makes as she delivers every line in hysterics. She’s one of the few weak spots for me here.
Listening to Frank go on his whole diatribe about what society does to little boys to break them and victimize them HAS to be the source of where Keith Raniere got at least half of his NXIVM bullshit. Like, some of these points are word-for-word.
Also if Frank makes as much money as he seems to, there’s no way he would drive a shitty Saturn sedan.
It feels like the common thread of this movie is everyone is terrible and cheats on their spouses, and you should come clean when you get cancer so you can die peacefully. Weird moral, but ok.
If Jim is a cop, how does he not see that this woman he’s interested in (Melora Walters) is coked out of her mind?
Y’know for being a quiz kid, Donnie (William H. Macy) sure is kinda stupid.
I confess I’m not taking many notes throughout this because I’m just kind of sitting breathlessly still watching all these conversations unfold because I am on the edge of my fucking seat to find out how all this is gonna come together.
Secret MVP of this movie is the mom from A Christmas Story (Melinda Dillon) who is giving the performance of her goddamn life as Jimmy Gator’s wife.
Did I Cry? On the surface it appears ridiculous, but when Tom Cruise is having his breakdown at his dying father’s bedside, I admit, that really got me. If you’ve ever been faced with that kind of hysterical, I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening, it feels like the whole world is ending kind of shock and hurt and anger, that’s what the crying looks like.
Are those......frogs?? That landed on Jim’s car? It’s raining fucking frogs???? OK for those of you sensitive to frog harm, this movie is going to take a real hard left turn for you, because I swear that came out of NOWHERE.
Um.
What.
Pray tell.
The fuck.
The climax of this movie - is when literal frogs rain from the sky.
And we finally got resolution about the dog, and the dog DID die, and I’m pissed about it. It’s offscreen but still.
I'm sorry - I know I’m fixating. But how is it possible that I knew about all the characters performing a sing-along to Aimee Mann’s (excellent) song “Wise Up” but I did NOT know that the climax of the film involves literally thousands of frogs falling to their death from the sky? How is that something that escapes entry into the cultural zeitgeist? I’m with it, you guys. I have been Very Online for over a decade, and before that, I read a lot of Entertainment Weekly, and like it just seems that this is something that pop culture really should have told me.
I think the funniest moment of this movie might be the credits in which I discovered that not only is Luis Guzman playing a man named Luis, he’s actually playing himself. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop laughing about it. That was a 189-minute setup to one dumb punchline.
I think I loved this movie but I don’t quite know. The frog thing really threw me. What I’m taking away from it is that even when it doesn’t feel like it or seem like it, we are all connected to each other, always, in ways we can’t see or know. As Wife astutely pointed out, it’s reminiscent of the pandemic - we’re all in the same storm, but we each have our own boats and our own experiences within that storm. And it’s kind of nice to remember that right now, that connection still exists even when it feels so far away. Just not if you’re a frog I guess, cause they really got the short end of the stick here.
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#121in2021#magnolia#magnolia review#paul thomas anderson#tom cruise#julianne moore#phillip seymour hoffman#John C Reilly#william h macy#movie reviews#film reviews#patreon review
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Hey do all of the greek god asks
Long post alert
Aphrodite: what you find attractive in a person
Lots of stuff really. But in mostly personality and interests over looks. U can be not really the most good lookin but be the most wonderful person. But u could also be the most beautiful thing ive ever laid eyes on but you're trash of a person. So looks dont matter much to me. But in a person i like if we share interests like art, music, books, and if youre really nice and stuff too
Apollo: favourite piece of music
Ooooo thats hardddd. Just ONE?? Howwww?! Ughhhh. Ok hm idk abt a FAVORITE but i really love heavy by johnnie guilbert and uhh i love ghost and heroin by badflower along with a bazillion others
Ares: opinion on war
If u mean infinity war? Um THAT MOVIE WAS SAD BUT AWESOME AF BUT THAT END THO AAAAAAAAA
Artemis: favourite animal and why
Snakesssss. I just really love snakes. I love the creepiness abt the lil beans. I love how they look. AND I LOVE WHEN THEY WEAR LIL HATS
Athena: share a piece of wisdom
Dont eat Oreos with hotsauce kids. It wont taste good
Dionysus: red, white, or rosé?
I do not drinketh wine but i like the color white over the other 2 so let's go with white
Eros: describe your crush
Nsnsnxndnsnsm damn. Ok uh well he likes hp as well. Hes a tumblr user. Annnddd hes nice :) thats all u lil munchkins get. And only 3 ppl know who this is so ha
Hades: do you believe in life after death?
Like heaven/hell? Idk. Sorta. But i don't really believe it as an afterlife. I think of it as u dead, thats where u go. Over with. But the thought of living like a 100 yrs then being gone for the rest of time sounds stupid like cmon those dudes in the bible can live for thousands of years and we get an average of like 75? Nah. But idk yet
Helios: opinion on tanning
I am already tan. I get more pale in winter n stuff but in summer my skin turns a golden brown color more. Kinda like the color of a cooked hotdog?
Hephaestus: do you think disability can ruin a relationship?
Oof hmm. What kind of disability? Like depression? (wait does it count as one?) I say it can yea maybe but if your partner is loving and supportive and is trying to help then i say you'll be okay
Hera: opinion on feminism
Idk i feel like im sort of a feminist myself. Like i hate that women don't have the same rights as men. Dude hear this. Me and my bro were arguing with our grampa about Hillary clinton or having a woman President and so my bro said to my grampa "so if tam (me) ran for President u wouldn't vote for her? Just cause she's a girl?" And my grampa said "*laughs* yeah i mean i love ya hun but women dont need to be president. Its a mans job. Men are supposed to be the leaders not women. Tge bible says so. No i wouldn't vote for u" and i got pissed cause wtf man??? What's wrong with u?? And then we kept arguing and then he was like *fake laughs* nah i was jk hun u know id vote for u youre my granddaughter. And i called him a liar and that he was lying because i know when hes lying. Then he started being racist abt smtn and then my mom got fed up and we left. I wouldn't talk to my grampa and he got mad so he said I was the one being stupid. Yeah sure ok believe that
Hermes: last text you sent
Uh it was to my best friend and it was "Not a big fan of hp huh?" But before that it was "That's not fai!r everyone has that one book they dont finish when they start on another. And when they dont finish it it usually means they weren't that interested in it. Or they really wanna read this new book cause its hard to focus on the old book when u have the new book and can read it whenever instead"
Persephone: is climate change really a thing or is everyone just overreacting?
I say its a thing!! Everythings changing and i dont think its for the better
Poseidon: list three fears
1. Momo coming to life and chasing after me and finally catching me then making me stare closely into her eyes while killing me slowly
2. Spiders ( @cristal-kyd1280 including jarvis)
3. Dying/dying by me being stupid like skydiving or eating a cup of apple seeds for no reason
Zeus: three places you want to travel to
@dirtysocke in georgia
@mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye in the Netherlands
@cristal-kyd1280 a few hrs away from me
Demeter: favourite season and why
FALL CAUSE ITS THE BEST AND U CAN F I T E ME ON IT
Pan: opinion on gay rights
I fucking WHOLEHEARTEDLY support gay rights!!! I feel fucking ashamed cause i haven't always......(thanks mom, dad) but over the years ive gotten a bit more supportive and stuff but especially in summer last year one day after our shift at the library whenever my friend cadence came out as pan/bi/gay to me while she waited with me for my parents to pick me up. Also especially since i got tumblr and saw how amazing the lgbtq are. Like dude most of my friends are gay um and its fucking awesome?? Like for example dude my friend lucas is bi and i could talk to him abt boys n stuff and how cute different dude celebrities are xD Also i learned alot abt what pansexual and bisexual and stuff was exactly (my mom fuckin told me pan was when a person likes anyone. Even ANIMALS. She fuckin disgusted me like wtf who says that??) But now I'm ready to fight whenever any one even my fam starts being homophobic. Also i want to start reading more about the lgbtq. (I loved svthsa) But yea i say gay rights should be supported by fuckin EVERYONE and NO ONE should be homophobic and if u are like bitch keep that shit to yourself before i slug u
Hestia: describe your ideal house
Idk? Like i want an apartment for a while before an actual house yknow? But when/if i do get one eventually idk id like....just a house? Not a big one but not tiny either. Uhhh i wsnt a room just for my books and one for like an art room. Besides that? I cant think of anything lol
Dude it took like an hr and a half to answer all these holy shit
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- ̗̀ * ( ella purnell + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( maribel sawyer ) walking around campus ? they are a ( nineteen ) year old, studying ( journalism ). we hear they are in ( delta gamma chi ), and can be ( benevolent & impressionable ), maybe it’s because they are a ( gemini ). they sort of remind us of ( scraped knees , magnifying glasses , vintage oxfords ), maybe we can find out more ! * ̖́- + newspaper writer
god okay looks like i’ve fallen in love w ella purnell and i want to b her. anyways maribel is my newest baby n im sorta making her up as i go so pls bare w me lmao
TW: eating disorder mentions, subtle abuse?
{she is not currently in that mindset ^}
gen. info
full name: maribel ottoline sawyer
nickname(s): mari, bell, lottie b/c middle name, etc. etc. just sawyer sometimes idk
b.o.d. - june 1st, 19 yrs old
label(s): the marionette, the demure, the prevaricator, etc. etc.
height: like 5′3″ prolly tbh
hometown: duluth, minnesota
sexuality: shit she don’t know
bio. info
her dad’s in the air force, her mom’s published three diet cookbooks and two different DVDs--maribel is the only middle child
one of those conservative, all american families, they were strict and definitely made it known that they were parents and not friends by any means
9pm curfew, not leaving the dining room until all ur food is gone, grounded if ur grades were below their expectations, etc. etc.
her older sister can evoke emotions in others thru her acting like no other. has taken the hearts (and leads) of all her acting directors since childhood. her voice is broadway material.
and her older brother? has been the best linebacker on any high school team he’s joined; hopes to make it to the big leagues. but if he doesn’t? he’s been taking college-level classes since he was a sophomore.
and...maribel?
maribel is...just, maribel.
for the longest time, there was nothing special about maribel
she couldn’t sing, or dance, or compose words in pretty prose
her grades were only satisfactory after hrs n hrs of studying everyday
homegirl can’t even cook w/o smth exploding
in short, maribel has never been good at anything. can’t draw within the lines, can’t follow the line, opens her mouth at the wrong time. etc. etc. shit? rough.
ANYWAYS
her family moves around a lot b/c of her dad, so she’s never really been in one place long enough to really prove herself? always been the quiet girl in class while her siblings brought home gold stars everyday
the kinda girl others would sorta push around n bully a lil bit bc she would never know what to say; prolly just cried a lot tbh
grew up w a lot of insecurities b/c of this
definitely doesnt help that her mother is obsessed w beauty n fitness n like
their mother p much forced her lifestyle onto her children, mari has a rough relationship w food b/c of it
ANYWAYS part 2
grew up always in the shadows of her siblings and their accomplishments, and spent a lot of her time tryn find something to be good at just so somebody could give her a stamp of approval
was always the ~wannabe~, the girl who would just endlessly suck up to the most popular girl she could find and try to mimic her to the best of mari’s abilities, just so she could survive her school experience
by the time mari was a freshmen in high school, her parents had divorced and she finally thought she could have a normal school experience and make something for herself
obv not. her mother shipped her off to a boarding school in nevada and that was it; her sister had already graduated and her brother was still in middle school.
it was finally just mari.
of course like she tried to suck up to others but it wasn’t really helpful, everybody was a lil too boujie for her and she always froze up when she tried to speak to the ~popular kids~
they only rly spoke to her b/c she’s got this knack for forging shit, like i dont think she even has her own handwriting; she always copies other people’S b/c she’s just. so used to tryn to mimic others n be them as much as possible
around this time she found herself fucking around in her computer class more often than not; it’d been the only elective left b/c she arrived in the middle of the year
but she surprisingly enjoyed it, like, a lot
her parents never really allowed much computer use b/c like. rots ur brain or whatever.
got into programming, but when she found out that u could ? hack shit ? kinda peaked her interest.
her shift into programming to hacking was subtle but before she knew it, she was fucking around on websites for the fun of it. never anything severe
computers became her friends, y’know
that was until her sophomore year and there was another loser fucking around on the computers during lunchtime
and like...they just started kinda talking, y’know? became friends, prolly mari’s first legitimate friend in...forever, really
the kid was kinda weird but she didn’t mind b/c fuck, mari couldn’t be picky n she didn’t mind weird
like...they were obsessed w conspiracies n mysteries n shit
it started to rub off on mari too, b/c homegirl is an idiot but. an observant idiot.
so she started getting reeeally into mysteries and shit. started acting like a mini investigator w/ her pal; solving stupid things like ‘who wrote ‘mindy is a whore’ in the bathroom stall’ and ‘does mr. roberts have a secret obsession w kpop’
no mindy is not a whore it was slander
yes mr. roberts is into kpop
ANYWAYS part 3
so they were these nancy drew, scooby doo, veronica mars knock off duo
by junior yr her partner started getting into like. drinking and minor drugs and other things that the other boarding school kids were smuggling in, y’know.
this meant that mari was getting into that shit too, y’know. cant stay innocent forever.
became a lil bit of a pothead lmao
so like now theyre just stoners who go around solving shit and prolly also stirring shit up for the hell of it
so like . . . . . one night they were doin’ their thing, right? and her partner brings up this...completely wild idea
they live in nevada. y’kno what else is in nevada?
area 51
these fucking idiots want to go break into this fucking. air force base. to find area 51.
guess what they did?
they attempted to break into the air force base. like. of course they tried.
they failed like, super miserably, got arrested for trespassing and had to be bailed out of the county jail by their parents
her dad almost lost his job so he was mcfuckin PISSED esp once they figured out she was high as shit
her partner? disappeared. nobody knows where they went.
mari was moved from the boarding school to a public school closer to where her mother could, begrudgingly, keep an eye on her
kinda spent the rest of her high school career p miserable, she gave up on her whole ~detective~ thing and resorted to making fake IDs for her fellow high schoolers
was drug-tested like every week or so, too
around this time her mental health and relationship w food got worse, she barely made it to graduation. took a gap year to recover, worked a buncha jobs but usually gets fired from them b/c she’s really fucking bad like most things besides her two (2) unconventional talents that are decidedly useless
came to ucla b/c her mother p much made her, her mother’s a legacy and that’s about the only reason why she got into delta gamma chi
doesn’t want ppl to know she was a loser and also like . fucked up her dad’s life a lil, b/c it was def a thing that made the news and the only reason why her name wasn’t in the articles was b/c she was a minor at the time
so she like...lies abt her childhood a lot
tells a lotta lil white lies b/c she just. doesn’t wanna b her
uuuhh wanted to do computer science bc she loves it but her parents were both like ‘lmao we’re not paying for shit if u do that’ bc they don’t think it’s very ~ladylike~ n they still want her to like. just be submissive and obedient n shit.
so she took up journalism b/c neither her parents think it’s like a real career and they just want her to find a husband n get married n settle down n stop being troublesome
fun fact: she has a scholarship for being lefthanded so that pays for Some of it esp b/c she’s an out of state student
still struggles a lil bit w food but she’s like. doing a lot better. goes to group therapy, probably
uuuh that’s it for now i think ??
OH SIKE !! she’s a writer for the newspaper and writes ADVICE columns on various topics b/c she’s good at offering advice but only when she can sit down n think abt it lmao
^^she goes by an alias b/c she just. doesnt want ppl to know its her idk she thinks its embarrassing
other than that she’s probably like ... doing campus tech support b/c that’s her current job but who knows how long that’ll last lmao
knowing her she’s going to accidentally switch into her phone sex voice (another, old job she doesn’t do anymore) n get fired for tryn seduce a man with ‘did u try turning it on and off again?’
OKAY i think that’s all lmao
personality
mari is just. awkward, man
i mean like...she’s sorta bad at talking to others a lot of the time??
like ppl r kinda like ‘how tf r u a delta gamma chi girl’ n she’s just like i mean u h h h h
prolly stutters a lil bit b/c she’s usually rly anxious
but she’s v v nice, like, she tries her hardest to be a good friend n everything
but she also kinda switches her personality to appeal to whoever she’s talking too ?? like she wants to be. likable. she’s not real w/ others v v often
if ur boujie yeah she’ll pretend to be boujie too
she prolly still sells fake IDs to high schoolers n some of her college peers, she has one herself n hasn’t gotten caught yet sooo
always fidgets like she can’t rly sit still often b/c she’s so nervous
is a lil bit of a stoner but i feel like u can’t ever tell tbh
a lil shy n hesitant at first i’d imagine, or maybe just always lmao
has a bit more of a personality once she sucks it up n gets closer to u but she’s always v v cautious abt befriending ppl just b/c she’s had a bad time w bullies n her one friend in life disappeared so like...bummer, y’kno?
can never say no. like, i dont think it’s in her vocabulary. she’s a yes gal.
will p much do anything u ask of her b/c she’s constantly seeking approval
can ramble a bit when she’s nervous which is always but she also apologizes like a lot.
squeaks like a mouse
present at parties but it’s always kinda like. who r u. n she has to remind everybody that she’s a sorority gal too
considers herself v v forgettable, like, just v unimportant
like she’s just rly insecure
still does computer shit n is still rly good at it but she hasn’t done anything srs w/ it so it’s just wasted potential
going to use her journalism degree to do investigative journalism and maybe escape her parents, eventually
she just. bends easily to other’s wills, y’know? she’s hashtag soft
even tho she’s like. shy n awkward n shit it doesn’t take a lot for her to like, laugh, or smile
like she tries rly hard to appear happy n an optimist n just like. unfettered
a lil plain jane we stan
i cant think of anything else but she’s. she’s a good kid
OH she’s rly good w numbers n math but like that’s abt it. she’s a whole dumbass on everything else sometimes
is bad w talking n giving advice like in person but like ?? in her column or ovr text or smth ? she’s good. she’s concise.
is a good team player/good w/ projects/etc. etc.
OH OKAY YEAH
she’s rly observant n b/c she’s a lil bit of a compulsive liar she can usually tell when ppl arent honest
depending on how close y’all r she’ll prolly crack down on ur bullshit
but she’s also timid so like who knows tbh
this isn’t a personality trait but she wears like medium hoop earrings all the time n it’s cute ok bye
OK OK LAST THING
she’s so. fucking. clumsy. she will bump into everything. she’ll bump into the air. fuck, she prolly falls over just standing straight. usually has bruises n scratches from just being a clumsy idiot
like she can b a lil ditzy y’know ?? doesn’t have much common sense, sometimes, n can b naive but idk it’s all rly dependent on her n who she’s w n just. how i end up playing her lmao
lovs vintage. is cute.
wanted connections
her roommate uwu
ppl she’s interacted w/ during her childhood !! she’s moved around a lot so like . . . . they could kno each other
mmm sorority sisters
um gimme a ride or die or like a best friend or smth PLS she needs more friends
just more friends in general. she’s awkward but she needs ‘em
?? a one night stand ?? she’s not really . . . known for hooking up w/ ppl but i think an accidental occurrence would b fun!
idk somebody for her to just. crush on from afar. prolly stutters whenever they come near or talk to her or smth
^^i mean like an unrequited crush
SOMEBODY USE HER ! RUIN HER !
FRIENDS OR FUCKING OR WHATEVER
fake friends too! use her for her ~kewl skillz~
bad influence
let her b a good influence
some kinda...skinny love idk what that means. a will they wont they. smth cute. smth pure
it’d be wild if her partner just popped up outta the blue like that b/c mari 100% thinks they were like killed by the government
ppl she gets high w n talk abt conspiracies w/ tbh
ppl she gives or has given advice to w her column pieces ! love it
idk partners in a class
enemies or smth. i want conflict.
a tutor for her dumbass
but also anybody who needs help in math? she can tutor u
idk like this we can work a lil smth smth out
i give u one penny, if u plot w me. pls. i am poor.
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I work at an assisted living facility as a waitress/dishwasher. Fuuuck this job. Very long post, sorry. 1) Fuck Managers: There's never any management on the weekends. It's the weirdest thing, there are never any managers scheduled for Saturday and Sunday. Occasionally the activities manager, kitchen manager (my boss) or maintenance manager pop in for like half a day, but they don't do anything. The kitchen and maintenance managers sit in the office doing fuck all, and the activities manager tells me what to do, stays for the event, and leaves. Nobody does anything when the nurses or aids complain, either, it's like they don't care. 2) Fuck Cleanliness: The kitchen is disgusting. The dish machine especially. The thing is fucking ancient, and it's just smaller than a home dishwasher. When you drain it and take out the metal filter, the while bottom is covered in brown lime. I have to run things through at least twice to get a half-decent clean, and drain/clean/refill it after every meal. Not to mention I don't know how to refill the soaps and sanitizers that run through it. I became a dishwasher when my coworker who was the dishwasher fucked up her shoulder so she couldn't do dishes why more. No one ever told me how to do temps, refill the bottles, stop it leaking (which it does, constantly). I am ServSafe certified and working in this kitchen kills my soul. No one washes potatoes. It's the simplest thing, just wash the fucking potato before you stick it in the microwave. I get physically sick when I eat off anything that goes through the dish machine. 3) Fuck Coworkers: There is really only one person I truly fucking hate, J (male). K (female, the previous dishwasher) is sort of unpleasant and we've had issues before, but we're much friendlier now. But J is a douchecanoe. J is separated from his wife for, from what I've heard, one very big reason. He doesn't eat solid food, only liquids. What he beings to work is vinegar, water and honey, and he will have fruit and raw vegetables like once a week. He and his wife had dinner not too long ago and he got really sick because he can't handle food anymore. What really pisses me off is that he's apparently been here a long time, and he won't do simple things that would make all of his coworkers life easier. He won't prep anyone's meals but his own, he doesn't make specials (we have a special every meal) in advance, only as we call them, when K calls off and it's just me all day waitressing 11 tables and washing dishes, he helps me with exactly nothing, he leaves early EVERY FUCKING TIME, if he finishes early he's supposed to at least take my trash out, but he's repeatedly fucked off and left me to go outside in the pitch dark and rain, there are things, like refilling the drink spout, that he just flat out refuses to do. He's a dick. 4) Fuck Clients: I actually likes lot of our residents, they're sweet and they tell me stories and compliment my hair (it's blue). But some of them make me want to scream obscenities and walk out into traffic. D (female, late 70s), is ridiculously inconsiderate. She's taking meds that destroy her taste buds, so she can't taste anything. But, she'll get the special anyway, only to take two bites and yell at me across the room that she wants a baked potato with butter and a vanilla ice cream. Every. Single. Time. And I have to just toss what she ordered the first time. She and her buddies,W (female),Mr and Mrs J, MJ (female) and Dot (female), repeatedly sit six to a four person table, and there's only two tables any of them will sit at, so if they're dirty they just sit down anyway. Mel (female) is the kind of person who likes to take charge of others, meaning she really likes to order me and K around. She can't get it through her damn head that I am not an aide, I'm only in the kitchen/dining room, I can not take people back to their rooms. L (male) won't fucking shut up. Some days he's better, but usually he flirts with any available woman. It gets especially annoying when I'm swamped and clearly don't have time. Y (female) is the absolute worst. She's in her late sixties at the most, and totally lucid. She's only here because she lived alone when her diabetes put her in a chair and none of her kids wanted to take care of her. She's got this thing where she can be really nice, but she's actually a total c*nt. She reminds me vividly of my grandmother, who I absolutely hate. She has called the police several times, mostly for theft of things that were later found in her room. There's always a hard line on her chin where she stops with the bronzer. Sunday her son left her wheelchair charger in her van and she wanted me to go get it, which I would get fired for. She eventually got M (male aide that doesn't even work on her hall) to do it, and then she called the police and I don't know why. There's a little lounge area in front of the dining room and she'll sometimes just sit there sobbing in full view of the dining room. When she first got here she zoomed up and down the halls in her electric wheelchair and had to be taken aside and told to stop, because those things can really hurt somebody. I found her later sobbing about being treated like a child. Fuck no, bitch, you were actually endangering people! She once took one look at the breakfast I handed her and left. I still had to toss it. After she eats, she rolls to every table and gossips and (loudly) talks shit about all of us that work there. She once accidentally brushed my hand and started blabbing apologies, and when I said it was ok, she said "oh,honey, you know this place is like living behind the iron curtain for me." I just stared at her and walked away. Fuck you bitch, leave if it's so fucking bad!!! Actually she is leaving on Saturday. I'm fucking ecstatic. 5) Fuck Miscellaneous Weird Shit: Upper management is convinced that this particular set of people is used to eating large meals in the middle of the day, and light dinners,so that's what we do. Which is not totally incorrect, but that was when they had jobs and children and actually DID things and burned energy. They aren't doing that now, and they eat the miniscule meals for dinner at 4pm, then bug third shift for food, which sucks because we lock the kitchen at 7. And the food budget is dirt. I was hired from a group interview. It was the chef (my boss), and the HR manager who was really nice and has since found a much better job. They asked us questions like "what's your spirit animal and why?", "what would you do if you stumbled on $12m tomorrow, no banking" (because that's what happened to the original owners and they built three identical shitty nursing homes). It was super weird. I was only hired because I was the only one applying for the kitchen. The two other people hired the same day have already quit. I keep seeing mandatory meeting notices, but no one has ever talked about a mandatory meeting. In Memory Care, there's about 15 residents. At any given time, they're sleeping or sitting in front if the TV. They don't do anything. Family members fucking LOVE to yell at me about the food or the care. Like yeah, bitch, I know it's shit, but see this ugly brown t shirt and labelmaker nametag? I can't do fuck all. Come here on a weekday and yell at management. Fuck my job. My very first job.I'm not nuts and I'm not being lazy or just imagining things, like my parents are convinced I am. Everyone I work with sees this. We're going to get shut down and I'm going to fucking laugh.
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bitch
fuck managers...i guess?
i like my boss, i really do, but, today he really pissed me off and i lost a lot of trust in him.
essentially, he bitched about a lot of staff members to me today in a "funny" way which made me think he's done it before and will do it again.
my work is pretty small, there's about 14 of us. our store is getting completely re-merchandised as we have a lot of new stock. we've got new fixtures and tables everywhere. today before open, i was standing folding a bunch of t-shirts at a table at the back of our store. our till is in the middle of the store and another staff member was folding hoodies and beside the till another staff member was hanging new shirts. they were having a bit of a laugh, not doing much work when my boss, jokingly says, "quit flirting - i mean, FLIRT ALL YOU WANT, but... work... get on with it!" he's that kinda 'i'm-such-a-fucking-dad-even-though-i'm-childless-and-thirty' guy. the staff laugh and apologise and get on with it. the guy is this tall but goofy chubby dude who looks like he'd fit in with any late-90's pop punk band whilst the girl is very much more high-maintenance, she's not skinny but she's not "fat" - i'd call myself just plus-size, fat, curvy, whatever as i've gained a lil bit of weight recently (mostly down to medication grrrr...) and she's a lot smaller than me but people always comment on her "curves". ANYWAY, the point: my boss stands next to me and leans in and whispers, "imagine the size of the ass on their kid." i giggle and tell him off but secretly feel self conscious about my size/the size of my own butt, "any that's between us?" he asks and i nod.
i don't think much of it because my boss is always saying shit - EVERYONE is always saying shit. we slag each other off a lot and everyone is pretty friendly. only 10 mins before we were picking on our 28 year old coworker for looking like a child. so, why didn't he just say this out loud?
i'm, actually, having quite a good day at work and me and my boss are getting on well. like, we normally get on well, so whatever, but today we're just talking trash all day and he puts me in contact with one of his friends whose selling tix to a comedy show i really wanna go to... just mentioning this to lesser the "wow he's such an asshole fuck bosses 24/7" vibe. cos, he's nice... he's a good boss... we all like him. but, i just didn't like how he came out with that comment.
it happens again, later. we've got a new hire whose only worked one shift, really nice guy, and the guy comes in with his mum to buy something so we're all over chatting to them but the store is quite busy at the time so i go and cover my zone when about 2 mins later my boss comes over. i dont even remember but he says but he says something about the new guy to me because, "i dont know him well enough to say that yet and i nEEDED TO SAY it" it's something fucking stupid and mildy offensive, which i mention, telling him to behave or i'll (jokingly) report it to hr (ANOTHER joke we all make at work "you're getting reported.....").
he's also told me "stories" about staff in other stores, his friends, other people...that seem to overshare or shed them in a bad light. again, bitching i know we all do but it's just the way he does it. everyone is useless. he tells me about a gal who he used to work with, "i mean she complained about [something annoying but not terrible] what the fuck? i mean, get on with it. she was useless anyway." he complained about a guy whose last day was literally my first, "all he could do was serve at the tills, he was so useless." a guy who got fired, "im glad [regional manager] fired him, he was useless."
essentially, i know due to the nature of the store and our relationships with eachother that this is *nothing* but it made me think - what "jokes" does he make about me behind my back? what does he say about the way *i* look...? i dont know, it just made me feel awkward, especially since i've told him very personal stuff in the past that i don't want him to pass on whilst he's making an "innocent" joke about me.
TLDR; nice manager who gets on with everyone makes slight and bitchy remarks about people...unsure how to confront this without making work awkward and mechanical.
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