So, the funny thing here is that I discovered this group in the process of writing Hotel California, and now they're my second most listened to band on Spotify. They've only got like...one EP out. I just keep listening to the same 7 songs on repeat.

It's so fucking catchy, you guys. And this music video is gloriously ridiculous.

god give me the strength to stop putting shit in google translate the more i do the more i'm tempted to look into it deeper (< I say as if i'm not currently running the wiki one paragraph at a time via google translate trying to figure out where the hell one starts)

ya know what? [little fuckin guy’s your ASL brothers]

I wasnt gonna draw so much for this, but then I went on a nice early spring walk and i was inspired to draw a whole lovely landscape :) All the growing leaves and flowers and life can do that to a mf

I am not by any means immune to the appeal of this damn picture, ive seen so many fan arts of it and ive been holding myself back from drawing it, but ahhhh…. As you can see that didn’t actually work.

I def de-aged them in my art but its kinda hard to guess how old they are through this art alone

Theyre just fuckin LITTLE GUYS AAAAAAUUOHUOUHUHUHGHUH [flakes away and becomes one with the earth and nature and life and peace and love on the planet earth pleaseandthankyouverymuchhhahh]

hey hi howdy yo etc its me aussie davesprite/ds/nintendont/crow/whatever the fuck

18, Aussie, queer as shit and trans as hell

@gayvesprite < art blog

i dont have a dni but if youre a cunt im blocking you <3 peace and love on planet earth

all my links n such here

talk to me about these please pleas eplease im begging

Homestuck (ESPECIALLY davesprite)

Undertale/Deltarune

FNAF

The Smith Street Band

fuckin. aussie shit? i guess? always down to talk about that

did i already mention davesprite

god ive completely forgotten everything else im into apparently. god damn!

things i do sometimes i guess

write fic

art (debatably)

sewing (even more debatably)

cosplay

video game

Listen To Music

rp

scroll on phone for hours on end

eat hot chip and lie

uni? does uni count?

music i like

The Smith Street Band (< so so so normal about them)

Toby Fox

Hilltop Hoods but just their older stuff

Bliss N Eso but only like. Flying Colours and two other random songs

Florence and The Machine

Brian David Gilbert

Tom Cardy

Homestuck OST

Seth Sentry

Violent Soho/Idles/DMAS (combined because theyre the same vibes to me)

Weird Al

Bo Burnham. I guess.

Skrillex

a bunch of other random shit here just go check out my main playlist

god idk what else to put here its like 1 am uhhh. men :thumbsup: ask me about heirstuck i guess

PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH!! i might've sent you an ask already? i'm not sure! if i have feel free to disregard if you want ALSO LOVE THE PROFILE PICTURE!!

What's your favorite street name?

Thanks, kid. Damn, I don't really know. We ain't paid the much attention ta street names if I'm bein honest. I guess, like... there was a street back in our last city called Manor Road, but everyone pronounced it "May-Ner" insteada "Man-or" and it was real fuckin weird.

literally every time i get properly messy drunk i’m like. i’m never gonna emotionally recover from this Ever lmao 

hello

it is 11pm on saturday but technically it IS saturday and i think?? maybe?? you're doing STS?? so yeah. happy storyteller saturday, may i here about the rental car gang's newest additon

well. it's now 11pm on Friday! whoops! but running late is nothing new to me, this is standard, this is standard, my apologies for the delay

thank you for the ask and ABSOLUTELY you can hear about the rental car gang's newest addition!

so, there are a bunch of things about her that are still missing from my brain, but hopefully she'll chat to me more as I write about her :3

onwards!

her name is Zeke! does she have a surname? maybe! do I know what it is? nope!

she's. hm. by day she's a romance novelist under the pen name Alannah Meadows and by night she's a renowned and deadly vampire hunter. or more likely she's both simultaneously at all hours of the day and night, balanced poorly, living mostly on energy drinks and instant ramen. when does she sleep? idk. but as long as she can manage to keep up the appearance that she's totally cool and under control and absolutely not spiraling into near-constant burnout and crisis, she's fine!

romance-novel-wise, she's pretty good at what she does! vampire-hunter-wise, she's fuckin EXCELLENT at what she does! most of the time! idk quite what her methods entail but I know they're a little bit. offbeat and peculiar and make a lot of other vampire hunters go "huh??? that's stupid" until they actually see her in action. she's also broke a lot so can't afford any fancy equipment n has to get a little inventive

her great grandma on her mum's side was also a rather infamous vampire hunter. both her grandparents on her mum's side were rather infamous vampire hunters. her own parents are........

an accountant, an ornithologist, and a funeral director!

(there are three of them, and I mean this in a polyamorous way and not a complicated divorce way)

Zeke has mixed feelings about their professions, just like they have mixed feelings about her following in the footsteps of her ancestors rather than..... not.... doing that. on one hand, she likes her 'rents and wants them to be happy, and they are! on the other, she's peeved that no one taught her ruthless survival skills and how to decapitate someone when she was like four years old and that she had to self-teach most of her vampire-hunting skills. which I guess is why her strategies are a little bit unusual and not exactly the industry standard

but yeah, her parents are all sweet folks, though none of them are super keen on their daughter being involved in such a dangerous and violent profession. and her mum has some capital B Baggage about the vampire hunting line of work due to her experiences with her own parents

now, about Zeke as a person........

hm, well, she's all about calmness and focus and intuition and balance..... she's all about meditation and higher forces and listening to the voice of the universe...... I think she fancies herself a bit of a psychic, actually, or at the very least she's someone who sees herself as having a Unique And Special Connection (read: more powerful than other, NORMAL people's connections) to the world around her. whether or not this is true or just in her head is up for debate :P but yes, she's constantly going on about how important it is to be in control of your emotions and to find balance within yourself and focus your mind....... calm your soul and centre yourself and feel the pull of the universe..... it's all very funny because she has MAJOR fucking anger management issues and explodes on a regular basis. and she's never been patient or calm in her life for more than, like, ten minutes

like she tries SO hard to be the cool calm collected wise sagelike type. but GOD everything is just so irritating how can she be expected to

peace and love and harmony on planet earth <3 but also Zeke is going to fucking deck you if you piss her off

anyway, she has rather big shoes to fill given the reputations of her grandparents and great grandma, and though she's doing a pretty good job of filling said shoes already, she really wants to make a bang in the vampire-hunting profession and achieve some cool shit no one's seen before. she tries many different avenues for this, but hops from one to the next rapidly because she quickly gets bored with stuff and loses interest. recently she's been engaged in a lot of intense research into the well-known vampire urban legend of the Garble, 'cause what could cause more of a Bang than taking down fucking vampire god? this earns her. a lot of laughter from her rivals and colleagues. because the Garble objectively does not exist, it's just a dumb spooky story, obviously

but yes, this is what eventually leads her to Darwelaide and what kicks off her investigations into the city's vampire population, and subsequently her becoming entangled with Quinn :P

she is, in fact, responsible for the two super early-book attempts on Quinn's life, one of which results in the death of expendable bit character Leo (RIP)

Quinn is! irritated! by her presence, because as soon as word gets around that Fucking Vampire Hunter Zeke is in the city, a fair few of their vampire customers and lackeys are suddenly like "oh, I forgot I have to go very very far away from Darwelaide right now immediately for an indeterminate amount of time" which puts a bit of a strain on Quinn's resources

Zeke not only believes Quinn is a vampire (fair) but also that they're basically THE vampire of Darwelaide, and most other vamps are either Quinn's allies or fucking terrified of them and staying as far out of their way as possible (also fair)

but yes, Zeke begins as a rather formidable antagonist but eventually becomes a begrudging ally to the team since their goal ALSO happens to be "murder the Garble". though she's not too pleased when this goal shifts focus slightly, they talk her 'round after a while because the end result will still be the same, it'll just take a little longer to get there. but that's spoilers! hahahaha

eventually, much to her disgust she becomes a beloved member of the gang. tragically they are her friends. regrettably she cares about them

she and Nat have a dicey relationship at first, she and Quinn have a dicier relationship, she and Yvonne are............ fine, ish, but that's a whole other kettle of fish. she thoroughly believes Alex is human to begin with because...... yeah, in the same way people look at Quinn and are like "that's a fucking evil dramatic rich gay vampire if I've ever seen one", people look at Alex and they're like "that's the epitome of Just Some Guy"

Alex fucking exudes Regular Human Energy tbh

it is important to my heart that Zeke and Alex do end up proper best friends. like. even after she finds out it's a vampire. after the Adjustment Period. like this is a reeaaaaally slowburn friendship but the payoff's gonna be. mwah. chefs kiss

man I just think they'd get along fantastically and have some interesting perspectives to share with each other, y'know?

but yeah, Zeke starts off SUPER scary and looming and threatening, this kind of.... mysterious force to take very seriously. but the tone shifts to shenanigans later. there's a lot of, like, ridiculous melodramatic homoerotic nonsense with Quinn, lots of back-and-forth hero-villain-esque banter, lots of very casual murder attempts from both parties

also "Zeke has homoerotic tension with Quinn" means nothing, Quinn has homoerotic tension with basically everyone

once she's part of the gang but still super fuckin grumpy about it, it's sort of just like....... y'know, are these legitimate murder attempts, is it all in good fun, is it just to keep the gang on their toes? no one is entirely certain. but that's just Zeke for you. she's their murder friend and they love and appreciate her <3

she finds out eventually that Quinn is actually just a regular human person and she's fuckin PISSED

also I think it's really funny given the ending of the book that Zeke gets to be like. fuck yeah. everyone look at me. I helped take down motherfucking vampire god. who's the best vampire hunter now. idiots. I'm better than all of you. gaze upon my work and weep

but what she's essentially done is just, like, doom vampire-hunting as a business and put everyone out of work so everyone is lowkey SUPER mad at her lmao

she doesn't care because she fuckin Won

anyway, this is what I know about Zeke so far!! thanks for tuning in!!

Anakin Blogging:

What’s the right order to watch the SW movies? KnightOTOC Ranks the SW Movies Why Ahsoka’s S7 Lightsabers are Blue ”I cannot interfere” Sometimes I draw Buzz Lightyear Luke Father-son or brothers? My favorite part of Wookieepedia the Skywalker name Content between TPM and AotC  Helmet: A Star Wars Story Rey Anakin parallel Fresh Salted Hunk from the Deli Devil’s Contract AU An Explanation Are gifs libel or slander? Higher Ground Blogging Lars Quell Name Game Anakin’s Ghost Bum Out Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) Mind-Blowing Organizational Tool The Reaction You Requested Brad Pitt Cameo Can’t Explain, I think it’s Love My 3 Fave Characters Ever Worth its Weight in Gold Dark Middle Chapters My Curse It’s outrageous, it’s unfair Facts and Opinions Would these items work instead? Space Cowboys Diegetic Opera Lady Minnesota Update High-Maintenance Boyfriends Ranked + Part 2 Reconnaissance! This Guy + Part 2 Mirror Universe Karen Do Ben-Hur Again! Young, Dumb, and Full of Midichlorians Happy Birthday! + Part 2 My Ani Cosplay Best Title Crawl in Star Wars Low Poly Ani Hayden Voice + Hayden and Natalie Voices

Love That Maul:

I’m not a Sith Maul’s will Jedi Maul AU + Part 2 Impress the Bridgers “I was hoping for Kenobi” Poor Evil Gay Men "There IS no ‘US!’” Memes for the Old Master Awkward Zelda is the Boy 🙏Manifesting🙏

Other Prequels Stuff:

You’re reckless, little one (Except Shmi) “That’s...why I’m here.” Padme 🤝 Destiel Sith Obi-Wan AU Yikes High Republic Thoughts Pink and Blue Wat Tambor Theory I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in. Korkie! Actually I Want at Least 20 Prequels Discourse by Layer Rush Clovis Sideblog? My Evil Wife Ahsoka, Artorias, and Gerard Way Wait...We’re All Handmaidens!

I care about the Knights of Ren:

Illustrated Knights of Ren Headcanons The Baddest Boys of TRoS are Friends  another Knight of Ren theory (with evidence)  Avril of Ren Evil Monkey: Origins Poor Old TRoS Let’s split up, gang, and search for clues! vs Hux

Gay/Emo Shit About Han Solo

Solo is Sad, Too Solo 2 Solo Fandom the FOUNDATIONAL Rare Pair Han Feelings Chewie Feelings

Thinking about Mando:

Gallery review The Rise and Fall of Baby Yoda Coming at You from 2002 The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! Target Audience Mwahahahahaha + Meme + Part 2 Always Read the Comments Madeline just said “pooh pooh!” Warrior Gentleman Ouch, right in the niche! Yes he means ALL Mandalorians Put That Thing Back Where it Came From

Other Disney Star Wars Stuff:

Hierarchy of Needs + Part 2 Finnrey White Feminism Rogue Won LASaT Seriously Though, Where’s Ezra? Always Read the Comments, Bot Edition Cussin’ Anime Predictions My TFA Joke Revenge of the Jedi Promises, Promises

Gamer KnightOTOC:

Old Republic Wars Timeline Worth Fuckin Zeffo OTP YTTD = KotOR 2 Imaginary Sadness of Imaginary World + Part 2 Branching Paths  Less Famous Sherlock Holmeses Hot Takes from my Kitten

Other Star Wars Stuff:

Last Thoughts Masterlist SW cartoons as meals I will never read this again My strongest Star Wars opinion Special Force Abilities Trek AU Top 11′s Balosar blogging Star Wars Writing Women Don’t bet against the house 20 Hot Takes Girls and Siths Vibing with Russ + Part 2 + Part 3 Powerpoint I’ve read approx. 10000 comics about this MY GIRL + AGAIN! + MY SON Ghostwritten by Cham Syndulla Mom Protagonists Dooku makes no damn sense...Compels me, though + Another List Starring Dooku A Daily Occurance + Part 2 + Part 3 Nostalgia and Ending a Franchise + Some Girls Planet Misandry Krayt’s Eye Color Continuity Small Companions Crossover #1 + Crossover #2

Catawampus from Star Wars:

Favorites Writing + Part 2 + Part 3 Senseless Violence MY ARM!!! Goodbye, Sheev Mashups for the faves Your SW Cameo Name Ahsoka’s suitors Ahsoka Fanart! My Mantra / My Better Mantra Fictionsonas SW Haters vs Trek Haters Darth Maul Prints They really are pretty useless Evolving Tastes The Gay Agenda Holorcon Boss Nass Kitty Balance in the Force KnightOTOC’s Official DNI There’s some good in...that! Ponchos: A Star Wars Story Fan edit of Maul vs Ahsoka Zabrak Padme Darth Hanna-Barbera It’s good, I like it Man After Midnight Snips protecting Skyguy Halloween cover of Battle of Heroes Come to the Dark Side... The Youngliest Youngling of Them All Hello, Sheev the OoOoOoOoOne! this looks better on mobile EU joke attempt (rough draft) Luke x Lando song! “Legacy Characters” Vivid Dream + Another One “Bill it to the Republic!” Maul and Ezra But They’re Cats Anakin vs Lancelot at Being Problematic  Ongoing Poll grumble grumble Quinlan feelings Uncle Oni Blogging Part 1 - Part 2 Christmas OT3 How to Make ANY Sci-fi Good Subtweet How I’m Feeling So Intellectual Give in to your cringe! Prepositions Stretched Past their Limit Panicking Skywalker It’s called “art,” Kolara + Part 2 It’s no Seagulls, but still good My Favorite Trope + More Trope Stuff Underrated Joke imo My Demands! Spoonerism Wifeless Wife Guys 3 Guesses

Survey #449-450

(both from yesterday)

What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in the suburbs. Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding? My hypothetical wedding. Dinosaurs or unicorns? DINO BOIZ. What do you think of Maroon 5? I like some of their old stuff, and one or two of their newer songs, like "Payphone." What about Coldplay? I enjoy them. Fall Out Boy? Love 'em. Katy Perry? She's okay, I guess. There are a few songs I enjoy. Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents? No. What is your favorite Disney show? I don't have the slightest clue what's on Disney nowadays. What do you miss most about elementary school? Digging tunnels in the sandbox during recess with my friends. :'( When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February 2017. Hard to believe it's been four whole years... Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Ha, yes. Mom got me a little sign that says, "If I can't wear my flipflops, I'm not going," lmfao. All I wear are flipflops. What's your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I LITERALLY couldn't care less. I wear pjs in public sometimes; it really depends on where I'm going. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? Taking away technology was the worst. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom goes to a few different ones, depending on proximity and price. Have you ever owned any pet birds? What kinds/colours? I have not. I used to want a cockatiel for a long time, though. Do you pay much attention to your YouTube recommendations? If so, what was the last video that caught your attention? Kinda, I guess. I'm not sure what was the last recommended video I clicked. What has been the happiest time of your life so far? It's complicated. Most of my best memories are from high school with Jason, yet at the same time I was HORRIBLY depressed. I think my most pure happiness when I was really progressing with recovery. Moving on from him, losing tons of weight, feeling motivated... Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? My two biggest celebrity crushes ever have been/is Link Neal and Mark Fischbach. Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah. Admitting fears isn't a big deal to me at all. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What did you have for dinner last night? A chicken sandwich. What could you talk about for hours? Meerkats, Silent Hill, Mark... Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes. What's your favorite ice cream topping? Chocolate syrup. What was the last TV show you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Oh, burgers for sure. I don't likes tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. Do you use TikTok? Nope. Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom. Do you own any costumes? No. Would you care if your SO went to a strip club? Hm. So long as they're not laying hands on any of the strippers and they ASKED me first, I don't think I'd care? I'm pretty sure I'd also only be okay with that if we were a long-term couple where very strong trust has been built. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? They are so, so very helpful and I'm pretty sure would go to the ends of the earth to help me in any way they could. I know they WOULD help pay for the things you mentioned, but it's not something I want them to do. I want to be able to financially provide for myself, one day... Have you ever had to evacuate due to natural disaster? No. What video games did you have when you were growing up? LOADS. I looooooooved video games. What was the first election you ever voted in? This last one, actually. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah. I'm watching Gab play the Resident Evil 3 remake on hardcore mode. What's the coolest, most unusual pet you can think of? I've always thought sugar gliders were quite interesting as pets. I wanted one for a looong time, but I am not informed on how well they do in captivity and if it should even be legal for me to truly want one anymore. Have you ever seen a UFO or other weird object in the sky? By definition, it was a UFO. Sometimes I do even wonder if it was an alien spacecraft, given JUST how strange that shit was. I won't explain it again, just 'cuz I've done it in many surveys before. Are there any albums you know every single lyric to? I could probably nail Ozzy's Black Rain. What's your go-to painkiller? Advil. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? No, but there's a celebrity with her exact name. Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? NO NO NO NO NO that shit is SO upsetting. Where do you think they end up??? It's littering. Animals get choked and tangled by them all the time. What do you draw more than anything else? Definitely meerkats. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No, but people have visited me in one. Have you ever received a parking fine? No. Are you in any group chats? Who's in them? No. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? I have three, but one's pretty much dead. I don't post stuff regularly on my other two either, really... Can you parallel park? I would absolutely hit another car. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No, that shit's dumb. You can get really hurt. What was your favorite fairy tale when you were a kid? Maybe Little Red Riding Hood? Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? No. Mostly financial disagreements, but I know there's stuff I don't know. Have you ever been evicted? Why? Yes, because we couldn't keep up with rent. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? Noooo. What was the last thing you voted for? So Snake Discovery (a reptile channel I love) hosted an enclosure build-off recently, and the winners were selected by fans via voting. The guy I voted for got 3rd. What's the most amazing animal you've ever seen in captivity? I've been very close to an elephant at a zoo once. They're magnificent. Having been to Sea World as a kid (I would NEVER go now), I also saw the killer whale show. As much of a spectacle as it was, it was animal abuse regardless. Do you like white chocolate? It's okay in small doses. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Do you talk to your pets? Um, duh. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog?) Cats, yes. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) No, not by my own will. I DO love mythology, I just... don't read it. Do you ever use bath bombs? No. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. Have you ever sent your food back at a restaurant? Yes, because they got my meal wrong. I was REALLY shy to do it, but I made sure to do it politely and apologetically. Do you sleep in a bra? What mad lad sleeps in a bra???????????? Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? I'll go for someone what isn't my obvious vote, ha ha. There are truly so many, but Garrett Watts is high on the list. Elena Bateman, too. Can you do a handstand? No. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. Have you ever broken someone's heart and didn't care? Tyler sure acted like I did, and to be entirely frank, I didn't care very much, but only because it was a HUGE overreaction and I knew he'd be fine quick. What color is your hairbrush? It's just a white comb. Who was your most recent call from? My psychiatrist. Have you ever watched someone die? Only animals... It's the absolute worst. Are you currently "seeing" someone? No. Are you friends with someone who's autistic? I might be, but I know my niece is on the spectrum. Do you like humans? To be entirely transparent... I think I wish humans were never a thing. We've done so, so much harm to the planet, some things irrevocable. Earth would be a much healthier, far more peaceful place if we'd never existed. Do you like pandas? I love pandas. P.S., fuck outta here if you're one of the people who don't support conservation efforts for them. That shit blows my mind. What do you think of Evanescence? They're great. Amy's voice is absolutely incredible. I don't even think that's an opinion, but global fact, ha ha. What do you think of Avenged Sevenfold? I like some of their stuff. I haven't heard a whole lot though, honestly. What do you think of Halestorm? ^ Do you think you are attractive? God no. I don't see me as an attractive person at all. Do you like dinosaurs? I love 'em; I was OBSESSED as a kid, and my first aspired job was a paleontologist. Do you like lasagna? No. Do you share a room? No. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think my longest was three. What can you do that none of your friends can do? I dunno. Why did you last go to the airport? Mom and I were dropping Sara off so she could go home. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? My mom. Who’s the most attractive female you’ve ever seen? Maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy? Or my friend Alon. I'm certain there's more, because women are just so fuckin beautiful asdkfajlwejkrjqwe Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I actually like the original, rich red. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Well, two people have, but one absolutely doesn't anymore and the other knows that it's not healthy or emotionally safe for either of us to imagine that at this time. I don't know if anyone ever will again. Do you like Thanksgiving? No. Like I enjoy the focus on thankfulness, but the history isn't right and I don't enjoy the food. Do you ever wear colored eye liner? No. Have you ever used a darkroom? No. Have you ever been "popular"? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut? No, not that how someone dresses has any relevance to their sexual activity. What’s your most recent obsession? Final Fantasy X jfccccccc. Video games or board games? The former. Are you scared of tarantulas? As much as I talk about them... you can probably tell I have a massive interest in them, ha ha. However, even though I love them, they're still sorta scary. Like, threat poses are no joke. And it's terrifying on the very rare occasion they hiss. During Covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I'm fully vaccinated, and yet I still wear a mask because I'm a considerate human fucking being. Do you have a PlayStation 4? No, but I reeeeaaally want one. :/ Have you ever played Fortnite? Nah, not my type of game. Do you like anime? Yeah. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. I was always SO excited as a kid when Dad would take the boat out for a fishing trip. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I've played some of it with Jason. I wasn't a fan of it. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. DC or Marvel? I don't really have a preference.

----------

Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short, because I can't keep my nails long for the life of me. I pick/peel my nails badly. Do you have any vinyl records? No. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? No. I could never provide the environment they need, and it's simply not safe. They are not domestic animals, and even the ones that seem most tame can surprise you. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, lilac, fresh baked bread, barbecue, etc. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I'm not sure, actually... What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Surveys have a lot of questions about those games... I only ever played the ones that focused on animals, and I think I most enjoyed breeding them and naming the bbz. :^) And watching their behavior. Which hair color you've had has been your favorite? Red. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? No. I do not need all that room, nor am I wasting my money on such excessive space. What drinking games have you played? None. Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Only black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? One is a snake and the other is a cat, so. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing besides what you mentioned. Are you lonely? I'm way too lonely for it to be healthy. Do you like pineapple? Yep. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yes; they're endemic to here. Have you ever trespassed? As a kid, yes. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did sometimes. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No. Have you ever written a poem? I've written a lot. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK TO THE HELL NO. What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate bbq sauce. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No, only the first one with Tyler. It was aight. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in years, and I don't want to. Not because I care about how he looks now, it'd just be extremely triggering to see his face. I still find Sara gorgeous. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A When was the last time you were scared? Ummmm I really can't say I know. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" is where it's AT. There's this synthwave edit of it that I positively adore. Can you speak binary? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? A family pet, yes. Do you like boys with long hair? UGH yes. Do you like root beer? Not really, no. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you ever dream of yourself dying? That's not all that rare in my nightmares. What song always makes you sad? I think two songs are tied for what makes me most sad: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin and "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. Were you mean as a little kid? No; I was a sweet kid. Have you ever tried spam? No, it looks SO gross to me. How fast can you run? This is pathetic, but I don't think I CAN run. My knees are too weak. I think my weight coming down on them would just make me crumple over. Have you ever bought something from Spencer's? Yeah. Have you ever been on a diet? I've tried diets many times. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. I miss his memory every day. I say "memory" because it's been years, and I have no way of knowing who he is today. How many cars are parked at your house right now? One. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Not personally. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings with extremely hot sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Um yeah, no. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No. I don't like sprinkles in general. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yes, somehow. Onion rings or french fries? French fries, for sure. Who is the best cook that you know? Dunno. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a kid. I don't remember the age, but I was old enough to decide myself that I wanted them pierced. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They have their own places now. Do you like fried rice? Yessss. Are there any animals you refuse to touch? Some bugs. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't believe so, no. What makes you feel lucky? That I have the family I do. What is something nice going on in your life right now? Just the gym-going, really... Who’s the worst person you’ve encountered on the Internet? An old friend I just knew as Shakes. If death wasn’t a consequence, what would you try? Maybe sky-diving, idk. Has a teacher ever told you off? No. Have you ever told off a teacher? No. Do/did you take school seriously or not? I certainly did. How do you usually cope with breakups? Not well. I obsess over how something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough for anyone. Disney princess or Disney animal movies? Animals, for sure. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? It's evading me right now... Have you ever made/tried friendship bread!? Omg, I forgot that was a thing! I actually have. I've completely forgotten the gist of it or even how it tastes, but I remember I loved it. What do you want to know about the future? If I'll ever be content and happy. What's your biggest insecurity? My weight. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? No, thank god. Does the area where you live have a good or bad reputation? A very bad one. Are there any holidays that you don't celebrate? Yeah, like St. Patrick's Day, among some others. If you could find out who you're gonna marry right now, would you? Yes. Save myself time and heartbreak. How important is it to you that your partner has the same religious views? I wouldn't date someone very religious. If they're more tame about it, that's fine, but I'd prefer to not date a religious individual. Do you own a Wii? Yeah. I've kinda been wanting to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band lately on it... Do you like a lot of cheese on your pizza? "A regular, reasonable amount of cheese." <<<< This. I really don't like when things are so cheesy that it leaves a ridiculous trail when you try to separate pieces. Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality? Not directly to my face, but I can guarantee people I know had certain ~opinions~ on it when I came out. I also like just came out as pansexual versus bi, and I'm not even telling a lot of people in my personal life because I know they'll find the concept absolutely ridiculous. What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? "Depends on what type of an animal it was, and whether it was friendly or skittish." <<<< This. I'm obviously not going to try to usher a rabid dog over to me (I'd call a rescue or something if the animal appeared potentially dangerous), but if the animal appeared safe, my heart would absolutely lead me to try and get the animal to come to me so I could take it home and try to find the owner. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? No. What singer/band do you think deserves to be more famous than they are? Jonathan Young from YouTube. He is INCREDIBLE. He deserves to be picked up by a label so badly. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? The original Silent Hill, no competition. Do you think objectum sexuals are real, or attention seekers? I really can't imagine someone pretending to want to fuck their car for attention. I don't get it AT ALL, and it's weird as shit to me, but I mean, I don't think people can control what they're attracted to. How far out of your age bracket would you date? 21-early 30s, probs. Have you ever had an STD? No. Have you ever tried pho? No. Pick one: Crash Bandicoot or Spyro? Spyro!!!! I have the original trilogies of both series, but Spyro is where it's AT. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? I'm unemployed, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't, honestly. If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it? Maybe like a galaxy-esque mixture of layered colors. I've wanted that for YEARS. Have you ever known a white supremacist? This region is swimming in them. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do ladders scare you? Climbing them does, yes. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Unless I did unknowingly as a baby, no. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Uhhh two or three, maybe? What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? I actually haven't tried enough to have an educated favorite, but I can say I love peach. Do you hear any other people talking right now? I'm watching a let's player play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, so I hear her, obviously. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while, idk. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I guess. I don't really like nuts, but I definitely like cashew bars. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? ... Domino's lmaoooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had two video games. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No. Can you tie balloons? I can't, actually. Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Yeah. I wanted Sara's advice on something I'm dealing with. On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? One of my sisters' was yesterday, actually. What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I had Special K cereal. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, bananas, (sometimes) broccoli, other things that aren't coming to me. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? My friend Girt. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? The cupcake itself was chocolate, and the icing was uhhhh... blue? Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? I haven't done anything of note. I'm probably going to bed soon. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years, I think. When was the last time you ate an apple? Today. I have been on a big sliced apples w/ peanut butter kick lately. Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? I have soda every day. :x Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Mom brought me a Reese's home today when she went out with a friend. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Poems, yes. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Not very much physically. Emotionally... I don't know. Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No. Ice cream is my #1 comfort food, so that's a big "keep out of the house."

Kindle Unlimited Recommendation

Dark Planet Warriors Series

Warning: Gore, violence, some situation of wrongful touching

Summary:

8 stories. The series begins with a bug infestation on the mining station outside of earth. A species called Kordolians are there to be the exterminators. After a meeting with a strange human our primary story kicks off while the bug story plays in background in some stories while being the main focus for several books. The consistent story for the other 8 books is a romance between the aliens and humans that results in a war for purity.

Person thoughts:

Great fuckin series. Almost every book has a different couple with only the very first couple being the focus several other times. First book is fantastic, especially the first sex scene. Its so good. The next few focus on the bug infestation till its dealt with then it gets back to the war. Don't skip them though, Riker is a treat that deserves to be acknowledged. My favorite one of this amazing series is Infinity's Embrace. That book has some dope characters. Electric Heart is my least favorite because it's like a real bad Watch Dogs (video game).

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Dark Planet Warriors

Dark planet Falling

Into the Light

Out of Darkness

Forged in Shadow

Infinity's Embrace

Electric Heart

Brilliant Starlight

Office Alien Series

Warning: Awkwardness, drug use, kidnapping (kind of)

Summary:

Three books about an office relationship with three different aliens. Each alien goes through the venture of courting a human woman. All of them succeed on confusing then educating these people on their culture. All the aliens come from the same planet that has been ravaged by a tough alien species that try to wipe them out with their superior technology. That isn't a plot point, its just an explanation. Each story shows the struggles of cultural differences and how education and understanding can help make the world a better place.

Person thoughts:

I adore this series. One book in this series actually got a perfect score from me, which is strange cause I'm a tough grader. The first book has a super awkward lad who just seems to hate everyone. Its really cute and I like them both though their relationship is filled with cringe. The second book I didn't much care for. The main love dude was kind of an idiot and was too blinded by acceptance to be a reasonable thinking alien. Still decent but Its not my cup of tea. The last one- sweet jesus- was amazing. It has a ‘my cousin Vinny’ vibe with their relationship where they fight often but its like their form of foreplay. So good. There is another series that’s super short that takes place 1 year later for each story. Totally worth a read after you read the series.

Rating: 8/10

Books:

The E.T. Guy

The New Guy

The Security Guy

(Christmas special)

Kraving Khiva

Warning: Sex workers, forced prostitution, abuse

Summary:

Eve is a virgin who is fed up with it. After her father's death she has been ghosting by in life with her best friend. After said friend points out a brothel of some interesting aliens she decides to give the place a try to finally rid herself of her virginity. After just one night she keeps coming back, falling for the sex worker. Romance ensues with lots of strife and abuse to keep the two from their HEA.

Personal Thoughts:

Man, this story represents everything I love in a story. Tons of fluff. It was a really good slow burn that I didn’t expect from a story about a prostitute. The cover gives the illusion of a typical middle aged mother romance - which I guess it is- but it has so much more. I only had one problem with the story, the ending. I felt they could have given more information but they just glossed over it. Besides that, hot book. The second one is really boring, just a slice of life that I couldn't get into.

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Kraving Khiva

Prince of Firestone

The Queen's Ransom

Warning: Near death situations, a lot of near death situations, gore

Summary:

432 pages. Long book. Jalia enters into a competition to win a great prize. The interest of great fortune is too much for her to pass up. Little does she know the treachery the competition hides or the actual prize. The king of Minotaurs is hosting an event to test the strength, endurance, and intelligence of potential wives. In a culture that values strength they refuse to accept a queen who hasn't been tried. Genius Jalia goes through challenge after challenge, nearly dying about every chapter while catching the attention of a charming king.

Personal Thoughts:

I generally don't have the patience for long books but this one never dragged on. Every chapter was captivating and riveting. The challenges were interesting and Jalia's solutions were pretty genius. The relationship between the king and her is pretty grand, I adore them greatly. My only problem with the book is all the potty humor and insults. She was a genius but her insults left much to be desired. Once her biggest annoyance is no longer in the picture does that kind of stuff end.

Rating: 9/10

Book:

The Queen's Ransom

The Kraken

Warning: Gore, racism, attempts of suicide(only 1 book), sassy AI

Summary:

A mysterious creature has lived in the ocean long ago, since the beginning of the settlement on this planet. After a nearly drowning woman is saved a series kicks off. Each book has a different relationship of humans and Krakens. Every book tells the story of how the krakens go from living in isolation at the bottom of the ocean to breeding with humans.

Personal thoughts:

When I first read this story I was just getting into monster romance. The love interests have fairly human tops but hella tentacle bottoms. So I was a little off-put by it but as I read on I didn’t care. The first one is pretty good for a start. The second one was decent, I didn’t really care for it. I actually skipped the 3rd one my first go around. Which is fine, it doesn't add too much and its short. Its still worth a read. The 4th one, fucking grand. 5th one? My all time favorite of the series! If you don't want to read them all at least read the 5th one. Like ask me for story details and I'll give you a cliff note for what's mentioned in that story then you can read in peace. 6th was ok, love the sassy AI. I didn't read the 7th one. Its two old people and I just can't

Rating: 8/10

Books:

Treasure Abyss

Jewel of the Sea

Hunter of the Tide

Heart of the Deep

Rising from the Depth

Fallen from the Stars

Lover from the Waves

Escaping Wonderland

Warning: Sexual assault, gore, lots of sexual stuff

Summary:

Alice is wrongfully placed in a psych ward that specializes in simulation therapy. She is placed in a pod then taken to the world of wonderland. This twisted version of the children's classic introduces a rapey mad hater and manipulative Red King. The main love interest is a playful lad who has more control of the simulation than most. The two run from the clutches of the Red King while trying to escape the simulation.

Personal thoughts:

I had very low hopes for this story. I didn't expect it to be as good as it was. It was a twist on the beloved movie and book. Everything was rapey and creepy and I weirdly loved it. Of course nothing too terrible happened to the main lady so it made those situations more tolerable but only just. I adore the main dude, shadow. He was a playful little mischief maker and I would die for him. What made this book better for me was when everything hit the fan they didn't rid him of his sassy personality. Most books make the cocky, silly, playful personality as something that is bad and needs to change. This one they didn’t and kept it. So good.

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Escaping Wonderland

Infinity City

Warning: Abuse, gore, sexual assault, dope ass fighting

Summary:

A city where criminals are more in control than most people think. Each book takes the reader through different adventure of different people. All having the similarity of protecting the ones they love. The first is of an assassin protecting the only woman who has made him feel so strongly. The second is with a mob boss hacker who grows fond of a shy human. The third is the second in command of the mob boss hacker who finds a pregnant woman in a menagerie and discovers she is his mate. Fourth is one of the workers of the mob boss's security team who gets taken by some slavers along with a woman he was entertaining for the night.

Personal thoughts:

First book sucked. He was obsessives and pretty much took all her choices. It wasn't till the end that he was like "my bad, you can leave if you want". Bleh. Second book was fan-fucking-tastic. Arc is a charming idiot with an amazing backstory. I didn't like the girl in the beginning but she grew on me. I love that he focuses on her but still pays attention to work and his 'family'. The third was surprisingly good. I generally don't like stories where someone is pregnant because they get boring. This one was not that. She was never a hindrance or weak, she was a badass. With her big kitty man they made an amazing duo. Also any scenes with her man and the baby made me tear up. He was so sweet. Fourth was boring, it reminds me too much of a lot of other stories.

Rating: 8/10

Books:

Silent lucidity

Shielded hearts

Untamed Hunger

Savage Desire

------------------------------------------

While people watch TV or Youtube in their free time, I read. I have such a weird organization with everything i read because i tend to reread stories and forget i read them. the entire time i read it im like “have i read this before?”. so for books i write them down, rate them, then review them. i didn’t post the reviews here because it would be so many spoilers. Also i sort my favorite fanfics by fandom then relationship. i read so fucking much, its a problem at this point.

If you liked this recommendation drop a like, reblog, or reply. i will perhaps do another if you all like this. i have read so many books and i can post some decent ones and some god awful ones. perhaps you all can tell me how wrong my thoughts are on the ones i deem terrible. i think we will probably agree, ‘free’ books tend to have lower standards.

I got super drunk and tried to explain the plot of Kingdom Hearts: Part 2

-Ok so now we get into the original Kingdom hearts game! When you walk away you don’t hear me say PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE OH BAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAYAAAAAAYAAAAYABY 

don’t go 

-And so it starts with the same little sproggots you saw in birth by sleep! Except they’re like fifteen, which is the perfect age to be stupid little shits and try to go off on a raft when you coulda asked one of thier dads (who exists in birth by sleep btw, we never talk about that for some reason? I guess it’s not as funny as Sora’s mom who still needs JUSTICE btw) to take you out to see the world?

-Anyway before they can go die at sea, Riku meets a handsome Dark Lad (who’s been there since Xehanort and Eraqus played chess) and was like “Hey you wanna sacrifice the world to see new things?” And Riku was like HELL YES and then Sora went to go find Kairi and she was all sleepy and decided to take a nap at Hotel De Sora’s Heart.

-Leon is there and he’s like “HUrr durr I’m Edgy” and Yuffie’s like “Hi I’m a cinnamon roll” and Aerith is like “Hi I’m a precious baby” and then Donald and Goofy are there like “hey where’s the King” and then they fly into the sky and hit Sora in the head adn Sora’s like “well that’s as good an introduction as any” And they go yeet themselves all over the cosmos.

-The gummi ship was really shitty back then but it never stopped anyone. Also why didn’t they use the gummi heartless to tak eover the worlds? Like fuck you and your magic lamp I have a giant ass pirate ship that’s five times the size of your world and will blast you to smithereens if you don’t stop talking shit. Again, they never asked me probably because I was like five at the time.

-Anyway they go into the gotdamn deep jungle for the only time. That’s the only world that thye did right cause they never have to go back there and thank god because if I have to hear fuckin he hooo hoohooha again I’m gonna split.

-Anyway they also go to Olympus and Cloud Strife is there like “Hurr Durr I’m even EDGIER than Leon who is also here to fight in the tournament but we never see each other or speak” and then Hades is there like “mhmhmhmhhmmhmmhmHMMHMHMHMmhmhmhmh” but he fails in the end cause the power of the Keyblade and Friendship.

-Sora Donald and Goofy (I didn’t use commas cause they’re introduced like that literally everywhere and now exist as one entity in my mind) go to all of the worlds

-And all the keyholes are locked except for in KH2 when they’re not. All this time Sora’s been like “Riku no :(“ And Riku’s like “RIku YES >:)” and he keeps working with Maleficent and the disney villains to be evil and smeaky snek. Like Invi? Riku is Invi 2020!! Haha no.

-Also He’s been kidnapping princesses left and right to open the door to Kingdom Hearts, except it’s not actually the door to Kingdom hearts cause Kingdom Hearts exists in a nebulous concept between light and dark and life and death and love and birth and peace and war on the planet earth :) so what he actually opens is the door to the Realm of Darkness. Mickey is there, idk why.

-Maybe that’s why the keyholes had to be locked again!! Cause they weren’t locked on both sides! My wife probably locked them offscreen cause she’s a badass.

-I’m gay but who isn’t for Aqua amirite?

-And then Kairi brings him back with Princess of Heart powers that are never explained. You’d think a game called Kingdom HEARTS would spend more time discussing the powers of heart but no they spend more time on wierd close ups of Jafar’s face in KH2.

-Anyway Kairi’s back, Riku’s gone, and both Sora and Kairi are okay with drifting away from each other as the worlds reform after Ansem dies from the World’s Strongest Headlight Laser Beams (But not before someone can time travel and grab him for the real organization thirteen!! Why you ask? Fuck you) 

What’s next for Divine Patronage?

So my Ranma / Ah My Goddess! / other miscellaneous anime that take place in 1990′s Tokyo fanfic has become more popular than anything else I’ve ever written. I may have classes but this is my designated ‘leisure activity’ now for sure.

Anyway, I have a rough idea for this initial ‘arc’, and how it’ll end. Fine. Whatever. More importantly, though, I have continuing ideas about how to cross over more and more mid-90′s anime and other things into this mishmash where Urd and Ranma have to ‘problem-solve’ things. Christ I wrote like 9 possible arc setups last night; it’ll take me years to make good on them if I do at all.

That’s why I’m a-posting brief summaries of them here, so if I give up on these people can just steal em’.

1. CRIMES OF THE MISHIMA GROUP AGAINST GOOD TASTE

Sayoko Mishima and her zaibatsu god-nap Keiichi and in doing so royally piss off Belldandy. Urd has to snatch the poor kid, who is now a minor god, out from Sayoko’s clutches before Belldandy just loses it and nukes earth in silent rage. Ranma can’t beat the compound alone, though, so Urd turns to Akiko Natsume - the actual head of Mishima - and her all purpose combat android for some help. Unfortunately, the android has a cat brain. Cue Ranma struggling to confront his fears to save the world.

Crossover with: All Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku Nuku, a medium-obscure OVA from the 90′s starring Megumi Hayashibara as the wacky cat-bot-girl with Saeko Shimazu (Kodachi’s voice among others) as Akiko. Good fun.

2. FATE / STRANGE; DAYS

Remember Lind, the Valkyrie from the Angel Eater Arc of AMG? Well, she back. She intervened in Fate / Zero’s Holy Grail War (assumed to take place around 1994) and contracted w/ Kiritsugu the way Urd did with Ranma. Now Kiri may have lost all his lady companions, but he gets Illya back from Germany and is raising her alongside Shirou with the help of Illya’s wacky maids. Maybe lil’ Rin and Sakura are involved, too, I dunno.

Anyway, Lind considers the Sailor Senshi a threat to the divine order (they do appear to predate human civilization) - especially since Saturn’s Glaive of Silence is believed to be the Norse Gungnir, Spear of Destiny, Odin’s superweapon that could (even in the OG myths) rewrite reality itself to render enemies nonexistent.

So Lind gets Kiritsugu, Arturia Saber, and Prisma Illya to go to Tokyo and track down Sailor Saturn with Ranma’s help. Then they end up teleporting to the distant past of the Silver Milennium, back when the Senshi’s magic rendered the other planets of the Solar System inhabitable. Cue a string of John Carter references.

Crossover with: Fate / Zero, Fate Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya. Might even separate the Fate story from the whole Saturn / Gungnir subplot - they’re just hunting Kirei and Gil, then. Sure. Fine.

3. THE FUTURE IS HERE AND IT SUCKS

Skuld time travels into the future, only to find that almost every single timeline ends with humanity being wiped out before the 22nd century - perhaps by SM’s Great Freeze, perhaps by other factors. Unfortunately, she forgot to close her possible-future-timeline portals properly, which leads to various cyberpunk futures bouncing off one another for supremacy in 1996.

(Look I wanted to just fuckin do BGC or GITS crossover. Couldn’t decide. Why not both?)

Crossover with: BGC 2032 (Or my 2069 rebot), Ghost in the Shell, Silent Mobius (maybe)

4. GAMES OF THE GODS

The obligatory ‘gang plays an RPG’ sitcom episode, only a) it’s Cyberpunk 2020 because I’ve read that system’s books, and b) the goddesses all bring their boytoys along to be sucked into the game world as their player characters. (Urd gets Ranma, Bell gets Keiichi, Skuld is the GM, Peorth gets Ryoga, Lind gets Kiritsugu) (I guess I better do an arc where Peorth patronizes Ryoga to screw with Urd...)

5. GUNS, BOMBS, ROCK N’ ROLL

Ranma gets dragged along by Urd for a vacation, theoretically to LA. But then after getting bored of the Obligatory Beach Episode, Urd rediscovers that she has a daughter in Chicago - Rally Vincent. She and Ranma rush off to screw up the events of the manga and protect her daughter from the brainwashing of a lesbian rapist crime lord. (I wish I was making that last bit up). Maybe Priss of BGC tags along to really hammer in the WACKY KENICHI SONODA CROSSOVER thing?

Crossover with: Gunsmith Cats, Riding Bean, maybe BGC

6. HEISEI BLOSSOMS BLOOMING

The Japanese government decides to reactivate the Teikoku Kagekidan project, this time using idoru as the mecha pilots instead of the Takarazura Revue thing they had going on in the 20′s. The K-on girls audition, the Love Live girls audition, someone in the Ranma cast or something tries out as well. Mecha are now nuclear-powered instead of steam-powered (whatever that means)

Crossover with: Original Sakura Wars franchise, Tite Kubo iteration non-involved. maybe K-on and Love Live

7. RANMA’S LUDICROUS EXCURSION: STAR-DIAMOND DUST IS UNCRUSADERABLE

Ranma gets a stand. Urd thinks it’s like her angel. Yare yare daze.

Crossover with: What do you think, genius?

8. ETERNAL SUMMER

Ranma gets trapped in a temporal anomaly centered around Tomobiki Town. Now it’s August 1982, Ataru and Lum are about to get married, and unless he can stop the total breakdown of the pocket reality within the seven days before the time loop resets he’ll become part of it forever. Trippy New Wave Existentialist Bullshit - Screwball Comedy meets Body Horror. Also see: Higurashi.

Crossover with: Urusei Yatsura

9. TRICOWBOYOUTLAW BEBOPGUNSTAR: EFF YOU, SPACE COWBOY

A valiant attempt to crossover all three of the late 90′s ‘Cowboy shonen’ anime of the time in one universe. A shared universe? Nah. We’re probably just gonna transplant all the characters into 90′s Tokyo again and watch the body count pile up.

Crossover with: Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, Trigun. Oh, and maybe one of those ‘robo-maid’ shows from the aughties (Hand Maid May, Mahoromatic, Steel Angel Kurimi), just to fuck with everyone.

10. COPS AND ROBOTS

Ranma gets in trouble with the police for sneaking onto the Babylon Project, forced into community service, and then ends up blackmailed into the long-running grudgematch between the SV2 Labor Squad and the Tokyo Highway Patrol.

Crossover with: You’re Under Arrest, Patlabor (original OVA mostly)

11. SUPERIOR AUTOMATRONIC DISPUTE RESOLUTION: GO NAGAI EAT YOUR HEART OUT

Skuld gets in a fight with some deities from some rival pantheons, and as a proper grudgematch resolution they all resolve to build Giant Robots and then Battle Royale them. Ranma has to pilot one.

Crossover with: NOTHING.

12. THE HOUND OF ULSTER BARKS AT MIDNIGHT

Cu Chullain, husbando of Ex-Valkyrie and turncoat Irish goddess Scathach, teams up with Ranma in Dublin to stop IRA extremists from resurrecting the Tuatha De Dannan, specifically the Morrigan. A teenage Bazett (from Fate) shows up and gets all fangirly.

13. TALES FROM THE OOPS

An abandoned particle accelerator built in the 80′s near Stockholm may or may not cause Ragnarok. Ranma and some edgy Swedish Teenagers have to deal with 90′s recession bullshit and clean the place out

Crossover with: Tales from the Loop, Things From the Flood

That’s about it, honestly. I have other things I’d like to crossover with, tbh, mostly mecha stuff. Among them:

- Cannon God Exaxxion

- Eva

- Gundam UC

- Muv-Luv

-Negmia / another Ken Akumatsu trashpile (and I mean that in the best possible way)

Shit this is fun. Imma make another one of these posts with even more ludicrious crossovers later. Peace out.

Devil’s Ballroom Ch.5

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

    Within minutes, the two of you arrive at your house. It’s along a narrow street with a couple of other residences, in a pretty well-lit area. You walk up to the door, grabbing the keys out of your bag while you almost trip on the literal only step in front of the entrance. Smooth. You drunkenly fumble your keys attempting to unlock it. Spinel is next to you idly looking around, mildly interested in her surroundings. Once you unlock the door, both of you step in, and you close it behind you. 

“Home sweet home,” You say to her while toeing off your flats, and setting your bag down on the entrance table. “Make yourself comfy. And please take off your shoes.” 

“Nice place.” She says as she’s currently eyeing your photos with your dad on the entry wall. You watch her bend down to untie her shoes and you almost want to help her, because she’s clearly struggling. Inebriation and basic motor function don’t go hand in hand.

“Thanks. It’s not much but with dad here, it’s home.” You reply with. You point at one of the more embarrassing photos, the one from the fair when you were young and crying, ice cream on the ground, and your dad laughing his ass off. “This is my dad. As you can see, he’s a huge dillhole.” You say while smiling, despite yourself. She looks at it more carefully once her shoes are off, getting a little closer to it and squinting.

“You look a lot younger.” She says, finally.

“Humans grow, remember? This was over 10 years ago, anyway. I was still a kid.”

“Did your dad grow too?” She wonders out loud.

“He’s an adult, so he stays the same, but aged some. He’s got a huge beard now. And since I’m an adult now too, I shouldn’t really be growing anymore.” She honestly just kind of gives you a look like that’s fuckin weird, but whatever. “Give me just a second, I’ll be right back.” You say to her, and leave her by the entry staring at your family photos as you make your way to the kitchen and grab two glasses out of the cupboard, filling them with water. You also grab a bottle of aspirin, and head back over to Spinel. You hold out a glass and the pills for her to take, and she does. "They’re just basic painkillers, you’ll thank me for it later. Don’t wanna be hungover in the morning and all.” You take yours, and down them with almost all of the water. She eyes hers, shrugs, and does the same.

“Wanna sit on the couch for a little while and watch tv? I kind of want to wait a little bit before sleeping, if I go to bed this drunk, I’ll wake up nauseous.” You say to her while grabbing the glass from her hand, and put them back into the kitchen.

“Sure, it’ll give me some time to sober up as well.” She follows you to the living room you share with your dad, and sits next to you, one leg tucked under the other. She puts her arm over the back of the couch, between you two. She sighs and her face relaxes, and sinks a bit into the couch.

“Comfy?” “Very. This is comfier than the bed Lapis gave me. I don’t need to sleep really, but I kind of like the break it gives my mind.” She says, and you chuckle. “Some human things aren’t so bad, yeah?” You grab the remote, and turn on the tv to the science station. Fuck yeah, ‘How It’s Made’ is on. Nothing else that’s on matters anymore. 

“I mean I kind of have to adjust to human things while living on earth. Don’t want to be a complete outsider, I guess,” She smiles, looking over to you. “I like ice cream, and booze, and finding new weird human music. You guys are good for that.”

“You don’t sound like you’ve tried enough human things, and you’ve been here how long?” You say, already thinking of a few things you’d like Spinel to experience. The show a murmur in the background while you two chat, narrator describing the process of putting peanut butter into jars. You’ve seen this episode countless times by now, but you still catch yourself watching it every couple of seconds.

“Actually living here? Give or take.. 4 months. I was going back and forth between the diamonds, before I figured out that living with them wasn’t the best for me.” She’s watching the show, vaguely following along. She moves her arms to take the ponytail out of her hair, and lets it fall all along her shoulders and the back of the couch, running her fingers through it to smooth it out. You can’t really help but stare, because she looks different with her hair down, like way more casual, and soft, and for a very brief moment you can imagine what a domestic life would look like with her. You shake your head to clear your rampant thoughts. 

“4 months, and just that? I’d figure you’d have a few more things under your belt by now.” You say to her, watching her put both her arms over the sofa back, completely relaxed. She’s staring directly at the screen now, almost pointedly.

“I don’t.. really know how to exist normally, yet.” Her tone is a little quieter. You’re still staring.

“What does that mean?” You ask, slightly concerned. 

“Remember earlier I told you someone important abandoned me?” You nod. “Her name was Pink Diamond. I don’t know if you know, but gems are created for a purpose, and they know exactly what they’ll be once they come into consciousness. I existed to be her companion, and best friend. Things were wonderful for a while.. but. I guess she grew out of me, because the next thing I knew was that she said she’d be back, and then I basically stood in total isolation on a floating garden, waiting for her to come back, like she said. For six thousand years.” What the fuck, you think to yourself.

“You talked to no one?” You ask.

“Nope.” 

“You didn’t leave? You.. waited?” You ask, not caring that you’re not even pretending to watch the show. “Did she ever come back? What happened?”

“She never came back. She doesn’t exactly exist anymore.” Her tone of voice hasn’t really changed, but you can kind of tell she’s masking a lot of emotions.

“Disappeared? But.. how did you know? Did someone come and find you?” You feel like you’re prying, but she hasn’t given you any indication that she doesn’t want to talk about this. 

“About a year ago, I saw a broadcast of Steven.” The gears in your sloshed brain slowly start to turn. “Peace and Prosperity, and that also, Pink Diamond I had been waiting for? Steven’s her son, and she basically gave up her form so he could be born. So.. she’s gone, now.” She lets out a long breath, and pauses for a moment. “I’ve never felt worse in my life than in that moment. And, well, you know the rest since it was your planet that I almost destroyed.” She chuckles, albeit slightly off. 

Oh.

    Oh, it all makes sense now. You know the rest. It’s only been a year!? And she went right back to the diamonds.. no wonder she came to earth instead after a little while.. Oh.. and her only friends are a few other gems, who went through different problems than her, so she hasn’t had anyone to relate to, or really share her grief, anger, or feelings of worthlessness you know she’s going through.. and she’s been on this planet for what maybe feels like a minute compared to how long she was isolated. Like, at least you still had your father with you when your mother left, and you gained really good friends. You’re completely lost in your thoughts about how horrible what she went through was, that you don’t realize that she’s watching you now, with an unreadable expression.

“Are.. you okay?” She asks you. You look up.

“What a fucking massive bitch.” You say to her. She stares, sits up and turns to you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the light mood. I-" 

"No. Don’t apologize. I’m just mad that she had the gall to be your so-called best friend, and pull a total shit move like that. You didn’t deserve any of that. You deserve so much better.” You say. “Both her and my mom can burn in hell.” You’re fuming a bit at this point.

    She looks vulnerable and you want to hug her. Fuck it, your drunk brain foregoes any rational thought and you surge forward, wrap your arms around her middle, and hug her. She makes a startled noise and freezes. “And I know that you’ve probably struggled with abandonment, and worthlessness, and she never had any right to make you feel that way.” You feel her arms relax and wrap around your torso. The feeling of her gem pressing against your chest. It’s hard, of course, and not at all cold like you had thought. It’s quiet for a moment, and you hope you hadn’t upset her in any way. You’re starting to fret to yourself, before she speaks up.

“Does this make us friends now?” She asks. You laugh loudly, and snort a little, much to your horror. You can feel her body shake, and for a moment you think she’s crying, but you can also hear her laughing a little.

“We were basically friends after 10 minutes of knowing each other, why are you even asking.” You reply. You can feel her smile against your bare shoulder, and you feel your heart jump. She’s so close, and warm, and you like the way it feels to hug her. Your heart feels like it’s beating itself out of your chest, and you’re worried she can feel it. Before you can even think about pulling away, something jumps up on the couch suddenly and startles the two of you apart, both of you screaming. It’s Jellybean. 

“Fucking cat,” You say, hand over your heart, breathing heavily. “You little asshole, you’re going to send me to an early grave". Jellybean chirps and headbutts your hand, smearing half her face on you in loving affection. 

“Oh, she looks so soft, I love her already.” Spinel says, and tentatively reaches out to let the cat sniff her hand. You watch Jellybean sniff a little, and then headbutt her hand as well. Spinel melts immediately as your cat crawls onto her lap, purring. 

“What a little attention whore.” You say, chastising your cat. She ignores you for pets. You look to the tv and see the episode wrapping up, and yawn. You guys should probably sleep. “Listen. I’m exhausted. My whole ass body hurts from work today. I’m gonna go sleep. Would you like to borrow some spare sleepwear?” You ask her, looking at her pants like they don’t seem that comfortable to sleep in. She shrugs.

“Yeah, it’d probably be a lot more comfortable if I did.” She replies while petting your cat. You stand up, a bit reluctantly. 

“Gimme a sec, I’ll be right back.” You say, and head upstairs to your bedroom. You go over to your dresser and grab a spare clean oversized shirt, and some shorts that you hope will fit her. You also grab a spare set of blankets, and a pillow. You head back downstairs with the items in your hands, trying not to trip back down the stairs. “Hope these are okay.” You say as you hand the clothes over to her.

“They should be fine.” She says, still petting Jellybean. You suspect your cat loves Spinel more than you now. “And hey,” She looks at you. “Thanks. For everything.” She’s smiling softly and sleepily, and you fight down a blush. She’s really pretty, and you’re trying really hard to not think about it.

“Don’t mention it.” You say, and turn around to go to bed before you do anything weird. Or stupid.

     Before you know it, you’ve stripped down to your pajamas, you’ve taken your makeup off, and you’re flopping into bed. You fall asleep pretty quickly, and for once, and no dreams.

    By the time you’re awake, it’s near noon, and Spinel has already gone. She left the clothes she borrowed on the couch folded in a neat pile, and looks like she accidentally left her hair tie on the couch. You check your phone. Spinel left a text.

Spinel: Thanks again for letting me crash for the night. You’re a doll.

You smile and go on about your day as usual running errands, with thoughts of Spinel occasionally on your mind. You decide to send her a text in the evening. 

Y/N: Hey, do you wanna hang out in a few days? You can pick what we do since I’ve done basically everything around here.

She replies back within seconds of you sending the message.

Spinel: Yesssssssss.

It’s definitely just hanging out, and not a date, you attempt to convince yourself. You wonder what she’ll pick.

1020.

5k Survey LXXI

3601. What brands do you like? >> I usually don’t pay much attention to brands unless it’s about food or electronics. I like the Sweet Earth brand of prepared foods, for example, and I have found Asus products to be pretty reliable. (So far.) 3602. What do you think of the 'don't ask don't tell' policy of gays in the millitary? >> I’m pretty sure they repealed that. I say “pretty sure” because to be honest, I wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention when that was a hot topic. 3603. Why do you think that so many people have such a problem with gays? >> There’s no one-size-fits-all answer for that, as far as I can ascertain. 3604. It seems like it is more accepted for a woman to be bi or gay than for a man. Why do you think that is? >> I don’t care to make a guess about that. I’m not even sure that assessment is true. 3605. When a kid kisses another kid on the playground is it sexual harassment? >> I think the particular term “sexual harassment” is best applied to older people who can grok exactly what that entails. When it comes to kids, I think the teaching point should be about respecting boundaries and others’ bodies, as well as appropriate behaviour in certain social settings.

3606. If you had to name your self after an object in the room with you what would you pick? >> No. 3607. Pick the two most important things out of these: writing deep thoughts, expressing your self clearly, being honest, finding new novel ways to waste time, being organized, practicing what you want to do, trying to be famous >> My two most important things from this list would be “expressing myself clearly” and “being honest”. 3608. You were only waiting for this momen to ----- >> ??? 3609. Knowing historically that native American indians were and are the first americans, how do you feel about america and current americans? >> I have no answer for this extremely broad and vague question. 3610. Just what exactly determines whether or not one is 'mental'? >> *shrug* Not me. 3611. is it true that people with depression CAN'T function in society? >> Some can and some can’t. People with depression should have access to mental health resources regardless of ability to perform socially. 3612. fill in the word: half of what i say is ----------- >> --- 3613. Some people believe the Holocaust was a hoax?. What do you think of this? >> I don’t think anything about it. I’m aware that’s a thing some people believe, but I am not one of those people and it’s nothing to do with me. 3614. Does EVERYONE in the world care about how they look except YOU? >> Well, I also care about how I look, so, no. 3615. Do you love italian names like Lorenzo, Gaetano, and Grazziano? >> I mean... not especially? They’re just names to me. 3616. Everyone does horrible things. Do you think that people are more accepting of the bad things they do themselves or the bad things others do? Which are you more accepting of? >> I think that depends on the person and how they view themselves versus how they view others, etc. I give other people way more leeway than I do myself, because I have a pretty developed Inner Critic who is tailor-made to assert that everything I do is bad and wrong even if it’s no badder or wronger than what some other guy did. 3617. Is it true that NO ONE wants to date grumpy people? >> I don’t know, I haven’t taken a fuckin poll or anything. 3618. Bush and his henchmen have now come up with a list of people for the CIA to assassinate. What do you think of this? >> What I think is that I find that highly doubtful. This is an extremely dated question, anyway. 3619. Why is it that in many states sodomy and oral sex are still illegal, even if they are consensual? >> Because those laws simply haven’t been updated for a more sexually liberal time period. 3620. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of: liberals? conservatives? hippies? nobel peace prize winners? black panthers? time magazine? feminists? 3621. Order these issues from most important and needing to be dealt with to least important and we can put it off: cloning, racism, aids cure, the middle east, putting power back in the hands of the people, the environment, better education >> --- 3622. Do you feel like you are missing out because you can only know a certain number of people in this world and you can't know everyone? >> No, that’s not what makes me feel like I’m missing out. It’s usually stuff like “I can’t read every book” or whatever that makes me feel acutely how short our time on this planet really is. 3623. What do you imagine being a soldier in a war is actually like? >> I don’t want to imagine that, thanks. 3624. Do you agree that woman should be allowed to enlist in the army? >> Sure. Why anyone would want to is beyond me, lmao, but you should have the right. 3625. What is the purpose of government? >> You know, take care of the people etc etc. 3626. Why don't people believe in free love anymore? >> I’m pretty sure the rampant spread of STIs had something to do with it. The concept of “free love” comes with a lot of fine print. 3627. Do you make decisions with your head or your heart? >> I make decisions with my whole consciousness... 3628. What is the differance between sympathy and empathy? >> Google it. 3629. Can you think of any person or group you cannot empathize with? >> Not off the top of my head. 3630. Like creme savers? >> Unfortunately those do not exist anymore, but yeah, I was nuts about them back in the day. 3631. Your best friends asks you to marry them Out of the blue. You say: >> --- 3632. What makes you feel seriously depressed? >> Depression. 3633. Have you personaly worked for peace? >> Er, no? 3634. Do you suppress parts of yourself because you are afraid of judgement? >> Unfortunately. 3635. Do you take in the ideas and opinions of others too often?/ >> I don’t know. I don’t think so, but who knows. 3636. 36 - 24 - 36? >> ?? Those look like measurements, but they ain’t mine, so. 3637. What just isn't right? >> Left. 3638. What makes your blood boil?? >> I’m not sure. 3639. Have you ever gone to the bathroom in a place that wasn't a bathroom? >> Yeah. 3640. Want some water melon? >> Not right now. 3641. What's your favorite gum? >> It used to be Orbit Bubblemint, but then they changed the formula and now it’s horrible, so I have no more favourite. :( 3642. What do you imagine going to Harvard is like? >> I don’t want to imagine going to Harvard. I’ll just watch Legally Blonde instead. 3643. What would you get rid of forever if you had to choose snow or rain? >> As annoyed as snow makes me, I don’t want to get rid of it. I just want to live somewhere that maybe gets a little less of it. The climate doesn’t need to change to suit me, I can just... move... 3644. Is there a santa clause? >> Yeah, it’s that movie with Tim Allen or whoever. 3645. Do you understand yourself? Do you understand everyone else? >> I understand some parts of myself and I’m still learning about others. It’s similar with other people, just with varying ratios. 3646. Do you think there is a connection between understanding yourself and understanding others? >> Yeah, I do think that. 3647. What's good? >> Garlic bread. Garlic bread is good. 3648. Have you ever played dodge ball? >> Maybe in school. 3649. Is there anything you feel men can do better than woman? >> There’s nothing I can think of off the top of my head, and I suspect that there probably isn’t anything at all that I truly believe men can somehow naturally, innately do better than women. 3650. Is there anything you feel woman can do better than men? >> Same answer, just switch the nouns around.

Yours

Joe Toye/Reader

A/N: Inspired by the song Yours by Alina Baraz.

Synopsis: You can’t believe that you really are Joe Toye’s girl.

Tags: @gottapenny @dustyjjumpwings @wexhappyxfew @higgles123 @croatianbagudna @medievalfangirl @bandofmarvels

There is no place on Earth you’d rather be than in Joe’s arms.

You love the way his hand rests on your hip while the other moves a hair from your face and caresses your cheek. Every time he pulls you into his chest wanting nothing but to have you to himself makes you feel like you’re on top of the world, you have everything. It’s the feeling of being loved by a man who proclaims his love is stronger than the strength of Poseidon and Zeus combined, the feeling of being safe in Joe’s embrace as the sun misses the stars in the morning sky. There is nothing you want more than this.

Right now, there’s nothing you want more than to sleep in an actual bed. With Joe, of course. In a warm bed with loads of blankets tucked into the arms of Joe Toye anywhere but in a foxhole in freezing snow.

You find yourself running past the foxholes of the other men, your eyes in search for a certain grumpy boyfriend who’s impatiently waiting for your presence. Getting some alone time in buzzing grounds of the Ardennes wasn’t exactly the easiest, but you and Joe always found some way to make ends meet. You just really hoped Bill wasn’t there—last time, he slept in the same foxhole and you two, he was actually sound asleep on Joe’s shoulder and smacked your head when Joe tried to shrug him off. Let’s just say that Joe wasn’t too fond of sharing a foxhole with someone that isn’t you. Let alone Bill sleeping on him like he’s a goddamn pillow.

“Finally,” Joe groans when you jump into the foxhole and plop yourself next to him, “took you long enough.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I was running from the other side of camp,” you scoff, making yourself comfortable in the freezing cold. He snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you close, his body relaxing almost immediately with you right next to him.

“Coulda ran faster.”

“I’ll leave right now.”

“No, you won’t.” He’s right, you won’t leave. You almost always end up staying for the night, or multiple nights if he works his magic on you. “Christ, you ever heard of a blanket? You’re freezing! Here, take this—“ He draped the blanket over your body, leaving him with nothing else but clothes on. You gave him a pout knowing that he’d be cold. “Don’t mind me, Y/N, I’m all nice and toasty,” he reassured you, kissing the top of your head.

“You’re in a better mood than earlier today.”

You distinctly remember going back to your foxhole when you hear a prominent Argh! Someone’s gonna die. Someone’s gonna fucking die! coming from the direction of Joe’s foxhole. You stifled a small laugh when you heard it, Joe never liked it when you laughed at him being mad, but most of the time the man was mad at the smallest things on the planet. Once, he got pissed because someone gave him an opened ration. Everything was still there, it was just open.

Joe grumbled once you mentioned what happened earlier. “One of those first battalion fuckers took a shit in my foxhole.”

“That’s gross.”

“Yeah.” He pointed to a spot with a hill of snow mixed with small twigs. “I tried to cover it up—y’know how long it took me to get all that shit outta here without touchin’ it? Fuckin’ ages.”

“So, twenty minutes?”

“Goddamn fuckers. They have to shit in my foxhole!”

“They be shittin’ in everyone’s foxhole, Joe.”

“Y’know how angry that gets me? How would you feel if you came back and saw a load of shit in your foxhole?” he asked. He’ll claim that he’s over the situation, but he’s actually not. “Just a pile of shit where you’ll be sleepin’? How ‘bout that, huh?”

You yawned. “I see you’re still mad about it.”

“I’m not mad, just…” Joe started to quiet down, “just irritated.”

“Mhm, baby, tell me more.” You rested your head against Joe’s chest, your eyes slowly droop as your body finally relaxes.

“You’re not paying attention to me,” he pouted and poked your cheek. “Wake up. Pay attention to me.”

“So you can talk about how angry you are about first battalion shitting in your foxhole?”

He hesitates. “Yeah.”

Joe Toye is never a softie. Or anything related to the word soft. He is the man who would challenge the wits of Apollo, the strength of Zeus, and the power of Mars, but he is never soft. He loves to act a billion times tougher than he really is to his peers, but when he’s with you, he becomes the definition of soft.

“How about this—” You sit up so that your back is resting against the dirt. “Remember when you first tried to flirt with me?”

“God, how could I not remember?” he groans. “I was trying to make a move on you after we ran Currahee and a bird shit on my head. Right in front of you.”

You giggled like a child. You remember that very clearly. The first day you met Joe Toye was back in the Toccoa. He’s talked to you a handful of times before, but it was the first time he felt confident enough to chat you up. Make his intentions clear. That was, until a bird shit on him, and you were in the middle of bursting out into laughter and in shock. “Yeah.”

“What about it?”

“Nothing. It’s just funny. Y’know, you deal with a lot of shit. You get it? Bird shit and—“

Joe rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, but remember when we first started dating?”

“When we had our first five dates in the mess hall with a bunch of sweaty men? Yeah. Real romantic, Joe.”

“No—you're getting the wrong picture!” He pouted, and you laughed, snuggling into his chest while he hand came to rest on your butt. “Remember that night when we sat outside of the mess hall and watched the stars together?”

You remember that night. On your seventh date with Joe, five dates after he first kissed you, and three dates after he told you how much he really liked you, he asked you sit with him on the steps of the mess hall to stargaze. You almost thought he was lying, but wasn’t, took you outside and sat on the steps of the mess hall, fiddling with his hands in his lap because he wanted to hold your hand because he didn’t know how. It was a cold night, so he used that as an excuse to wrap his arms around you and pull you closer. He kissed you, and it was the first time you returned it back without a second thought.

You smile, almost breathless from relieving the memory inside your head. “Of course I remember. It was the best night I’ve had in a long time.”

“Everything was perfect. Just you and me and the sky. I don’t remember how long we were out there because I lost track of time, but you just looked so beautiful, I never wanted it to end.”

“I remember being in your arms, and you kissed me, and at that point, it just seemed so natural, and I loved it,” you said. “I never wanted to leave, I just wanted to sleep and wake up in your arms forever, and I wouldn’t care who’d see us.”

Joe opens his mouth to speak, but he’s almost lost for words not only because of how reminiscent he is of that night you shared together, but he’s never heard those words slip from your lips until now. He’s awe of how starstruck you were with him, but he loves it. “And then you told me that you loved me.”

“You took ten minutes to say it back.”

“Hey—“ he laughed, “I was shocked because I wanted to be the first one to say it, but I guess you beat me to it. That was the day you officially became Joe Toye’s girl.”

“Joe Toye’s girl,” you repeated.

“Anyone who looks at you gets a black eye.”

“Ah, yes. The benefits of having Joe Toye as your boyfriend,” you yawn. It’s been over a year since that night, even longer since your first date, and everyday you wonder how you ended up being with a man as daring and adoring as him. Every moment with him feels like there isn’t a war raging on around you, you seem to forget the construct of time, and before you know it, the sun’s rising out of the horizon and his arms are wrapped around you like it’s the last time he’ll hold you. You wake up each morning grateful to have him for another day.

You never imagined being with Joe. You always thought you were going to be single throughout this entire journey, but of course, things never go as planned and now you were looking forward to spending time with him after the war. You want to lay in his arms in a bed, a wedding ring on your finger, kiss him knowing that you’ll get to see him tomorrow, and love him without worrying about his well-being. You long for the day where you can stargaze again—sitting on the porch with a blanket draped across your laps while he holds you. There’s nothing you want more than that.

But right now, you were Joe Toye’s girl, and you were always proud of that.

“I love you,” he says, seeing how peaceful you looked as you slept by his side. He doesn’t have to hear you say it back, he already knows you love him.

He gets comfy, body relaxing as he settles down for the night, getting ready to fall into slumber until he hears you snicker.

“Hey, I thought you were sleeping.”

“I can’t believe the bird shit on your head.”

“Shut up, Y/N.”

Inktober Day 28: Companion

Prompt from @ttimemachines​ ‘ Inktober

Voltron: Legendary Defender Happy Ending AU: Fly Me to the Moon

Fly me to the moon, Let me play among the stars Let me see what spring is like on A-Jupiter and Mars In other words, hold my hand In other words, baby, kiss me

Fill my heart with song and let me sing for ever more

You are all I long for All I worship and adore In other words, please be true In other words, I love you

-By Bart Howard, performed by Frank Sinatra

This is like 4 days late cuz the power went out while I was doing this and it stayed off for days lmao thanks pg&e anyway 

I followed VLD since 2016 and am veeery fond of sheith. As a form of self-care, I decided to completely disregard the existence of season 8 and I daydreamed a  sappy, romantic ending I would’ve liked to see and am accepting as canon. GAY RIGHTS.

In a nutshell, Shiro and Keith get together and live on Earth. But you can’t tie down a space exploring power couple to one planet, so they go off with the Blade of Marmora. In this picture, they’re dancing to Fly Me to the Moon, celebrating their (kind-of) elopement and new life together.

I wrote a rough outline and bolded the main points. It’s long, so if you want to read it, buckle up and hit that Keep Reading!

Picking up from what little I remember of season 7 cuz I watched it the day it aired in 2018:

After the big battle with the Galra, everyone is chillin. Shiro is officially captain of the Atlas and Keith is like hell yeah I’m the Black Paladin! Idk whatever stuff they did to conclude the fight with the Galra, but I guess they did that. 

Idk why they killed Allura, but that doesn’t fuckin happen. Everyone is happy!

They eventually settle into their new roles on Earth with Pidge/Katie working as a head of the tech department with the Holts. Hunk and Lance handle diplomatic/relief affairs. Allura becomes the queen of the Alteans they found with Coran and Romelle as her advisory. The mice are there too.

As admiral, Shiro gets a cool fancy house. So they throw a house party and the gang and some of the cool Earth/Galran/Altean people are invited too. It’s a great party 10/10 and 3 hours in, Lance gets wasted cuz Allura drinks him under the table. Hunk is getting some water while Pidge/Katie is taking blackmail pictures. Coran is still partying with the mice and Romelle.

Keith and his introvertedness has his social battery run out at this point,  so he finds a porch to sigh upon. It takes Shiro exactly five minutes to notice that Keith isn’t coming back yet, so he seeks him out in the big fancy house.

 Shiro finds Keith sighing on the porch or smth and jokes about this being their easiest time finding each other and Keith smiles at this. Shiro has a beer or smth and Keith asks to try it to break the ice. Shiro teases him about being old enough to drink. Then he’s like uh yeah remember the time I was stuck on a meteor for 2 years with my mom?? Fair point. Shiro lets him try it and Keith spits it out cuz it’s nasty even though bruh probably drank swamp water. They laugh and banter about that too.

The mood settles and then Shiro asks about those two years. And about  their lost time. Keith asks if he took any of Kuron’s memories since he’s got a clone body now. 

He does. He remembers it, but Kuron’s memories feel like it’s him, but he’s taken a backseat and is watching himself do things instead of doing them himself. Then Keith asks him if he remembers what he said when they fought. “You said you love me,” Shiro speaks softly as he turns back to face Keith. “Is that still true?”

Finally they talk about their feelings. Like a well-developed couple should. Keith does still love him and says that he always will. Shiro also admits his feelings too. Thought he was fam. Turns out he was bae. They almost kiss, but the Voltron gang interrupts because that’s how it be.

The two awkwardly get dragged back into the party and Lance is recovering okay. Also, he’s been offical with Allura at this point too. Lance teases them about being a couple and Shiro and Keith are internally screaming. 

The party dies down and everyone starts to go home. The Voltron gang is the only few left and they help Shiro clean up. Lance gets benched cuz he’s still recovering. As they clean up, Shiro begins to notice how large and lonely the house is gonna get. He catches Keith before everyone leaves and slips him a key and says he’s always welcome just in case he gets lonely. Or something.... There’s some Shiro head scratching and Keith knows what’s up.

Everyone leaves. Shiro is alone. He tries to get some rest, but the house is too gotdamn big and unfamiliar. Being alone in a large space is not good for a guy with PTSD. He works out. He investigates his house, etc. Bro still can’t sleep. 

Afterwards, he just gives up and sits at his kitchen going like :( at a glass of water. Then the doorbell rings. Who is it? DING DING, It’s Keith!  With a duffel bag! Turns out he couldn’t sleep either. Shiro invites him to join him in the kitchen with his :( water and they talk a bit.

Then they pick up where they left off at the party and finally kiss. One of them asks if the kiss was okay, and the other is like HELL YEAH and so they keep going. It’s really spicy. One thing leads to another and then they go upstairs to Shiro’s large bed. (I’ll leave that to your imagination.) 

Either way, morning comes and Shiro wakes up with Keith in his arm(s). (HELL YEAH) Guess they got REAL official. He asks about the duffel bag. It’s literally everything Keith owns. So like. 3 outfits. And some weapons. Hygeine products. Etc. (Dude is a minimalist.) Kosmo is in the living room or smth. Bottom(lmao) line is, Keith planned on taking Shiro up on his offer the whole time. He literally just left to pack lmao (HELL YEAH) Shiro gives him his own closet and drawers since the room is big. Guess they live together now yeehaw. 

Eventually, everyone finds out they’re official and is like FINALLY and so they continue their lives on Earth with Shiro as admiral and Keith as captain. They sort out the war damage for a year-ish or so and then do whatever leaders do in peace time. Probably train their people idk. Shiro is up to his neck in papers. He’s not really digging it. He enjoys his peaceful life on Earth, but he often thinks about what it would be like exploring the galaxy now that the Galra aren’t a threat.

Allura and Lance get married. Lance still gets those blue marks but idk why. Why not lmao. It’s a big wedding and Lance throws the boquet. Keith catches it. He looks to Shiro and DING DING, the lightbulb goes off. The Altean Queen and King have many babies and they all have the marks too. Happy family. Goofy dad. Badass mum. Gotta rule the new Alteans too. That’s all good. They either live in space or get their own land cuz racism doesn’t exist on this earth. Cuz I said so. Either way, Lance and Allura visit the others often with their kids. Hunk and Pidge are GREAT with kids.

The Blade of Marmora calls. Krolia is like hey wus poppin’ son. Keith tells her he and Shiro are a couple and she’s like oh finally thank god. That guy was the only thing he’d talk about for the two years and like honestly it’d be awkward if they didn’t get together. But also, the Blade of Marmora needs Keith. For a while. Like, at year at least. He has a few days to decide to go with them. Keith’s torn between his people on Earth or his people in Marmora. 

Shiro tells him it’s okay to go. But before that, he kneels on one knee and presents Keith with a ring. An engagement ring!!!! It’s specially designed by Pidge with a one-channel track that won’t get in the way of any signals or whatever, but they can find each other, no matter where in the galaxy each is. (Since that’s been a recurring problem throughout the series.)

Keith goes. Keith Galra Facetimes whenever he can. Weeks pass. Months pass. Seasons fly. Shiro terribly misses his fiancé. Nothing goes terribly wrong since this is the endgame, but Keith is away for a looong time. More than a year. He misses Shiro terribly, but he knows his duty is to the Blade of Marmora, which has become a relief effort and guardians of the galaxy. No talking trees or raccoons, unfortunately.

Eventually, Keith makes his way back to earth. Krolia, Kolivan, Axca, and the other Blades are with him. Krolia has a mother-son moment with him and asks him what he truly wants. Keith wants Shiro, but he also wants the life with the Blade of Marmora. It’s way better than on Earth, (no offense.) Then Krolia asks, “Why not take your man with us? His skill is going to waste at that desk.” And Kolivan is like “Shiro is a man of honor. He will always have a place with us if he so desires.” And Keith is like :0

He tells Shiro to come with him and Shiro’s like :O But he’s got papers! And Duties! And... the ability to train a successor to be Admiral! He gets on it. But low-key. Cuz he doesn’t want everyone to freak out. Like All Might and Deku, but not as life-threatening a situation and no consumption of hair. It’s probably that guy who thought Keith was his rival. Jack? Jacob? James! Or someone else idk. Who’s Curtis? We can sprinkle him in, I guess. Not sure if Hunk would want to be admiral. But either way, Shiro steps down from his position and gives it to someone very capable.

Then the Blades are back on Earth. Keith leaps into Shiro’s arm(s) all dramatically and gay as God intended. Shiro and Keith get married!!!! Everyone is there and it’s such a happy day like wowie.

After the wedding/goodbye party and preparations, the newlyweds announce their leave into space. And they fly off! Shiro is part of the Blade of Marmora. They’re a happy family and visit Earth and Altea whenever they can. Everyone still gets together every year for Christmas or something.

The last scene is the space ship leaving earth with Frank Sinatra’s “Fly Me to the Moon” playing. The planets and space stuff fade further in the background. They’re in a field of stars. It cuts to Keith in his uniform holding Shiro, who’s in his earthly clothing and kissing his husband’s hand. A golden ring shines on each of their fingers and they continue to dance. Gosh, they’re so happy and in love. The two never lose each other again.

THE END!!!