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ninebluehearts · 1 year

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Hi so I was reading some of the stuff you wright (which btw it’s all freaking amazing) and I was wondering if you could do a Joel x ftm reader where they were dating before the outbreak and then the outbreak happens. the day Joel and Tommy got separated Joel thought it would be best if reader went with Tommy (due to what happened with sarah thinking he couldn’t protect him and he doesn’t want to loose the only other person he loves) be safe even though Joel and reader were both heart broken reader agrees. Later on when Joel gets to Jacksonville Ellie all ready know all about reader so after Joel hugs Tommy reader yells out his name and they hug for a long time crying and just happy to see eachother. Little bit later reader find out about Ellie being infected and Joel and Ellie get scared (mainly Joel) that reader isn’t going to like that but instead reader asks her how long she’s been infected and Ellie tells her however long and reader says something along the lines of ‘ longest I’ve ever seen a kids last but hey try being infected for 2 years’ and Joel and Ellie are both confused and I just turns out reader is infected I really wanted to ask you cause I like the kinda touch or spark you add to your fics!

Sure thing, my love!! I love this idea so much tbh 🤌💗

Warnings(MDNI): Some smut, violence, miscarriage (pig, not human though), just proceed with caution :)

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"I'm home!" Sarah called out, taking off her muddy boots before she made her way into the kitchen, where you were already working on making her a snack.

"Hey baby! How was school?"

"It was alright, I guess. Mrs. Addison was talking about predicates again." She plopped down onto the barstool across from you, setting her backpack on the seat beside her.

"Speaking of, did you get a grade on that homework we worked on the other night yet?" You asked as you slid a plate of fruit towards her, all of them cut into many different shapes, though stars seemed to be the most common.

"Yeah, I got a ninety-two." Sarah tossed a piece of kiwi into the air, catching it with her mouth.

You huffed, your hands coming up to rest on the curve of your hips. "How? Which one's were wrong?"

Sarah's lips began to curl up into a slow smirk. "Now, I don't get to say I told you so very often. But..."

"Nope." You began to pull dishes from the sink, organizing them onto the counter beside you as you filled the sink with hot water and dish soap. "I know for a fact that the answer wasn't B."

"So, you're saying Mrs. Addison is wrong?"

"Yup."

"The same woman who's been teaching English for twenty something years?"

"Yup."

Sarah shook her head, chuckling as she began to pull her homework from her backpack. "Did Dad say what time he was gonna be home?"

"I think he said around seven, but you know how your father is." You said, scrubbing at a stuck piece of food on a plate with your thumbnail.

Sarah simply nodded, eating another piece of fruit from her plate before gently pushing it to the side, replacing it with her pre-algebra workbook.

You always loved how easily you and Sarah could work around each other, both of you working on completely different tasks, though you could still enjoy each other's company.

You and Joel had been dating for over three years now, and though that may not seem like a very long time, you were still very much so considered family all the same. Sarah called you Mom and Tommy liked to call you 'sis' every now and then.

You knew that Joel was a little nervous when it came to the topic of marriage. Things didn't end well with Sarah's biological mother, and he didn't know if he could go through that again with you. Though with his not-so-subtle hints, you had a feeling that would all change soon.

It was nine when Joel came home.

Both you and Sarah were curled up on the couch together, the end credits of Breaking Dawn part one rolling down the TV screen before you.

Joel gently hooked his arms under Sarah's back and under her legs, successfully detaching her from your embrace without waking her up. You on the other hand, woke up with a start, immediately reaching out for Sarah.

"Shh, I've got her." Joel whispered, smiling at how possessive you were over her.

You simply nodded, a yawn taking over once you relaxed.

Joel disappeared upstairs for a moment, leaving you to pick up the dinner mess you and Sarah had left on the coffee table and in the kitchen. As you began to wash the small load of dishes in the sink, you felt familiar arms wrap around your waist, causing you to jump at first.

"Jesus Joel! I didn't even hear you come down!"

Joel chuckled into the crook of your neck, taking a deep breath as he molded his body against yours. "You're cute when you get scared, you know that?"

You shook your head, placing a dripping plate into the rack beside you. "You're late, my love."

"I know."

"Again."

Joel let out a long groan, pulling away from you so he could lean against the counter next to you instead. "Chris gave us the wrong parts again. I swear to God, Tommy nearly kicked his ass. Fucker had a vein popping out on his forehead and everything."

You both laughed at that, soon allowing small talk to take over as Joel helped you clean up the rest of the kitchen. You soon both fell into your same old routine: Joel showers while you do your skin care, you both brush your teeth together, then Joel picks you up bridal style, carrying you to bed.

"Do you have to do this every night?"

"Damn right I do." Joel suddenly dropped you on the bed, climbing on top of you in an instant. "Why? Do you want me to stop?"

You shook your head, slipping your fingers into the damp waves that were Joel Miller's hair.

"Good." Next thing you knew his lips were on yours, his hand haphazardly reaching over to turn off the lamp, knocking over a couple of books and a tissue box in doing so.

The next morning you stared at Joel's sleeping face with a smile, taking in every detail; every wrinkle and scar. He was truly the most beautiful man you've ever seen.

The way the streak of morning sunlight lit up his features made butterflies erupt in your stomach, making it nearly impossible for you to not reach over and touch him. You brushed a strand of his hair away from his eyes, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his nose.

You watched as his eyes fluttered open, a look of confusion that quickly turned to lust crossed his gaze. "G'mornin' baby doll." He slurred, sleep evident in his tone.

"'Mornin' honey. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you yet."

"S'ok. I needed to get up anyways." Joel rolled onto his back, groaning as he extended his arms out to stretch, soon settling back into a comfortable sleeping position once again, his eyes fallen shut.

"Hey." You crossed your arms and rested them on his chest, setting your chin on your forearms as you looked at him.

Joel hummed, not opening his eyes.

"Happy Birthday." You said, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

"Mmm, thank you, baby." Joel lazily brought his hand up to stroke your hair, brushing the stray pieces behind your ear. "I love you."

"I love you too." You murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. When neither of you pulled away, you sat up on your forearms, deepening the kiss as you slipped your leg over Joel's hip, his hand coming up to grab the back of your thighs, pulling you closer.

The blankets fell to rest on your lower back, reveling your upper half to the cool air. You pulled away from the kiss as you sat up, placing your hands on Joel's chest. "Want a preview of your birthday present now?" You asked with a smirk, gently biting your bottom lip.

"Damn right I do." Joel reached over and grabbed a good handful of your ass, shivering at the low moan you let out.

A loud knock sounded from your bedroom door, making both you and Joel jump. "It's seven thirty! Come on, I'm making breakfast!" Sarah called out, knocking on the door one more time for good measure before she went downstairs.

You sighed, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Rain check?"

Joel nodded, his hand unexpectedly smacked your ass, making you yelp as you climbed off of him.

"Don't push your luck."

"It's my birthday. I can do whatever I please."

By the time you got home from work, Joel was still out on a job with Tommy and Sarah was presumably still next-door, helping Mrs. Adler bake cookies.

With nobody home, you decided to take some time for yourself. You cleaned up the house, threw dinner in the oven, then headed upstairs for a shower. By the time you came back downstairs, hearing the ovens timer sound off, you walked in to see Sarah already pulling the dish out of the oven for you.

"Oh, hey! When'd you get here?" You squeezed your hair with the towel one more time before you draped it over a nearby chair, walking over to the cabinets to pull out two plates.

"Just now." Sarah pushed a container of cookies towards the top of the counter with a grimace.

You raised your eyebrow, finding it strange that she wouldn't want a cookie. "What did you guys make?"

"Rasin."

You nodded your head, a look of disgust crossing your own face this time. "Well, you could give 'em to your uncle. God knows he'll eat anything."

Sarah gave you a small smile, hooking her finger on the edge of the plate full of pasta and dragging towards her. "By the way, is there anything going on today? There's a lot of police out for some reason."

"I noticed that too! I'm sure it's nothing. That new mall opened up downtown, so it could be shoplifters again." You picked up your own plate before heading into the living room. "Come on, we've still got part two to finish!"

And with that, Sarah picked up her own plate and followed you, brushing off the previous conversation.

You and Sarah turned to look at Joel when he walked in the door, silently taking off his coat and dropping his keys in the bowl besides the door.

"You're late." Sarah crossed her arms, trying her best to seem firm.

"You're cute." Joel said as he walked by, ruffling her hair before kissing the top of your head, plopping down on the open seat between you and Sarah.

He went on about why he was late getting home again, mumbling something about the wrong sized headers as he took off his boots. "Ah, never mind. Doesn't mean anything to ya."

Sarah glanced around the room, raising her eyebrow. "So. Where's that cake you promised?"

Joels hands came up to rub his face, a deep groan sounding from behind his palms.

You and Sarah exchanged a look.

"Come on, man."

"I know, I know." His hands fell to his lap, fixing his gaze on her. "Look, I'll pick us up one in the morning. I promise."

"Swear? Or else you won't get your present."

Joel sat up, a smile creeping onto his face. "You got me a present?"

"Swear."

"On my life."

Sarah reached behind the pillow besides her for a moment before retrieving a small box, silently handing it to Joel.

Joel glanced at you with suspicion; you held up your hands. "I dunno what it is."

Joel opened the box to reveal his old watch, though instead of the shattered glass and dead battery, the watch looked almost brand new.

"I got it fixed for you."

Joel picked up the watch and held it against his ear, a soft look of confusion washed over his features. "Did you?"

"What?" Sarah grabbed his arm, pulling it towards her so she could examine it. Once she realized the watch was fine, she rolled her eyes, plopping back against the couch.

Joel let out a laugh. "Gotcha!"

"You're lame." Sarah said, all three of you laughing along.

"Where'd you get the money for this?" Joel asked Sarah, silently asking for your help to buckle the watch on his wrist.

"Drugs. I sell hard core drugs."

You rolled your eyes, giving her a disapproving Mom look.

"Better than what I do." Joel muttered, admiring the watch.

"It was only twenty dollars.. Which I stole from you." She elaborated once she saw the look Joel gave her. "I could've stolen sixty, but I put the change back because I'm an honest thief."

"Mhm."

"Besides, it's the thought that counts. You were never gonna do it for yourself, so.."

Joel stared at her, letting the room fall silent for just a moment. "Thank you." He went back to fidgeting with the watch; Joel was never amazing at showing his emotions, but both you and Sarah could tell he was grateful.

You nodded at the pillow behind Sarah, watching her eyes light up. "Oh yeah! There's one more." She pulled out a DVD case from behind the pillow, causing Joel to grab it from her once he realized what it was. "I borrowed it from the Adler's."

"Oh! This is the one with the deleted scenes!"

"Yeah, imagine how bad those have to be."

Joel handed you the case, excitedly showing you where it said ''deleted scenes.''

"Come on. Pop it in; we've gotta celebrate your birthday." Sarah said with a soft smile.

You got up and shoved the disk into the player, plopping back down on the couch when you were done. Both you and Sarah curled into either of Joel's sides, causing a wide smile to spread across his lips.

"Now, you guys can't fall asleep now."

"Of course not. It's too riveting." Sarah said, making both you and Joel huff out a laugh.

Of course, you and Sarah fell asleep.

It was midnight by now, both you and Sarah remained huddled up against Joel's sides, your soft snores buried under the screams from the movie.

Joel's phone began to vibrate on the coffee table, making Sarah stir beside him.

"Hello?" Joel whispered when he answered, trying not to wake the two of you.

You woke up not a moment later, Joel's conversation and the TV became loud enough to wake you. You listened closely, hearing Tommy's muffled voice on the phone.

With the way Joel let out a long sigh and the rambling on the line, it sounded like Tommy got arrested again.

"Okay." Was all Joel said before he hung up, mumbling a quiet, "Fucking idiot." Before trying to figure out how he was gonna untangle himself from the couch.

"Who was that?" You whispered, sitting up so you could stretch.

"Fucking Tommy got into another fight. I've gotta go bail him out." He slowly slid off of the couch, turning to gently pick up Sarah.

You silently followed him upstairs, opening Sarah's door for him before making your way to your own room. Knowing Sarah was asleep, you didn't bother closing the door as you got changed into your pajamas.

"I'll be back in an hour, okay?" Joel said from the doorway, watching as you pulled on a pair of cotton shorts.

"Alright, just be safe, alright?"

Joel gave you a quiet nod, which put your mind at ease.

You walked over and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "You know I love you, right?"

Joel pressed his palm against your cheek, kissing your forehead in return. "I know."

You both nodded, saying your goodnights before you made your way to your bed, hearing Joels keys jingling from downstairs.

Knowing he wasn't home made you anxious. You couldn't help but think back to the conversation you had with Sarah earlier, about the police and such. You had a bad feeling in your gut, but you had no choice but to push it away.

Nothing bad is going to happen. Everything is fine.

You repeated the mantra in your mind until you soon fell asleep.

Your eyes snapped open when you heard Joel scream your name from downstairs, his boots thumping against the stairs as he jumped up them.

You reached over and turned on the light, looking back to see Joel racing towards you.

"We've gotta go right fucking now."

"What? Why-"

"Now!" He grabbed your arm, pulling you out of bed and back downstairs.

You managed to grab your coat and shoes before you got outside, seeing that Sarah and Tommy were already in the truck.

Joel helped you into the backseat before he climbed in next to Tommy in the front, yelling at him to drive, though he was already stomping on the gas pedal.

"What the fuck is going on Joel?" You asked, sitting on the edge of your seat so you could see where you were going.

You watched as Tommy turned around in the yard, turning back onto the road. The headlights of the truck illuminated the Alder's yard; both Mr. and Mrs. Adler stumbled out of their home and towards the road, both of them covered in blood.

"Holy shit, Joel! We have to help them!"

Joel still didn't say anything to you. "Drive." He told Tommy, making both you and Sarah's eyes go wide.

Tommy hesitated for a moment, but then stomped on the gas, successfully hitting Mrs. Adler.

You held your hand against your stomach, a wave of nausea washing over you. Your ears began to ring, making it nearly impossible to hear what they were saying.

Sarah kept asking if you were all sick, Tommy yelled at the car that almost hit the truck, Joel tried to comfort Sarah and give Tommy directions. It was all such a mess.

You slid over a seat, wrapping your arms around Sarah to comfort her. You were both shaking, fearing the unknown.

"I've got you, baby." You whispered, gently dragging your nails along her back. Though she melted into your embrace, she continued to shake, her quick heartbeat thumping against your shoulder.

Soon you were in the city, where hundreds of people ran around the streets like chickens with their heads cut off; some were even covered in blood. Some seemed to be chasing the others.

Some were eating people in the streets.

You covered Sarah's eyes, refusing to let her see such a sight. It took everything in you not to throw up yourself.

Time moved by so fast it all felt like a dream.

And god damnit you hoped it was.

Tommy and Joel fought over where to drive to as crowds of people flooded the streets. And over all of the screaming, you could hear a quiet whistling sound.

Against your instinct, you turned to look out the back window, seeing a plane rapidly heading nose first towards the ground.

"Joel!" You screamed out, making Joel turn to see what was wrong.

His eyes went wide. "Fuck! Tommy, go now!"

But it was too late. The plane crashed into the ground with a squeal, making all of your ear's tense. That was the last thing you remembered before you blacked out.

When you finally came to, Sarah was lying next to you in the flipped truck, watching something outside of the shattered back window.

You turned to see what she was looking at; the sight draining the blood from your face.

A man was sitting on top of a woman, his mouth firmly planted on her neck, causing blood to stream down her collarbone and shoulders.

You recognized the man. He had come into the store this morning, telling you about how his wife had suddenly fallen ill with some kind of flu, you recalled.

"Sarah?" Joel called out, grabbing his daughters' hip. "Shit guys. Don't look at that." He started untangling Sarah from the vehicle, trying to quiet her whimpers as he worked.

Tommy pried open the door closest to you, hooking his arms under your shoulders and dragging you out.

You screamed in pain, your arm twisted out of place.

"Ah fuck!" Tommy muttered. "This is gonna hurt like a bitch.." And before you could register what he was doing, he grabbed your arm and twisted as hard as he could, snapping it back into place.

Your breath caught in your throat; the pain so sharp you couldn't even make a sound. Tears welled in your eyes as your arm throbbed in pain. And though you didn't want to get up, Tommy pulled you to your feet anyways, making his way over to the end of the truck.

"Is she okay?" Joel called out, trying to look for you.

"I'm fine!" You called back, finally catching his gaze for a split second. And in that one, single moment, you felt safe.

"We have to get off of the street!" Tommy yelled out, a cop car slamming into the end of the truck not a second later.

The cars were stacked on top of one another, both of them engulfed in flames. You and Tommy searched for a space to see Joel and Sarah, the smoke making it nearly impossible.

Once Tommy found a clear space between the two vehicles, he told Joel to head for the river and that he'd meet him there.

"What? We can't get separated!" You protested, looking at Tommy as though he were crazy.

"We ain't got much of a choice!" Tommy pulled a gun out from behind him, handing it to you. "Come on!"

He grabbed your good wrist and dragged you towards the ally, though you still tried to protest.

"Fuck, no Tommy! I can't kill anybody!"

"Again, you ain't got much of a choice." You both ran through the streets, trying to hide from the masses.

You had to stop to breathe for a moment. You were shaking and hyperventilating, the stress made your body begin to shut down.

"What the fuck are you doing? We have to go now!"

You tried to run again, but your vision was beginning to go out; black slowly closeing in around you.

"Fuck." Tommy muttered, wrapping his arm around your shoulders so he could drag you along with him.

By the time you got to the river, you saw a man towering over Joel with his gun pointed at him; Sarah laid in the grass nearby.

Tommy shot the man without hesitation, all of you standing there in shock.

Sarah's sharp, quick breaths filled the air, turning your attention to her. "No."

You raced over and dropped down besides her, covering her bleeding stomach with your hands. "Baby no!"

Joel was suddenly next to her, his eyes wide as he stared at your blood-covered hands. "We've gotta go-" He tried to pick her up, but Sarah screamed out in pain, pushing him away. "Come on babygirl! You've gotta get up!" His voice cracked as he yelled for her to get up, desperately trying to find a way to make it better.

You placed your hand on his shoulder, your throat tightening as tears swelled in your eyes. "Joel honey.."

"No! Look, she's okay! See? Come on baby, tell 'em you're fine!" Joel hugged Sarah against his body, tears streaming down his cheeks as he muttered please over and over again.

You wrapped your arms around Joel and Sarah as best you could, breaking down when you felt Joel's hand squeeze your arm for comfort.

Seventeen Years Later...

"No, I'm fucking done with this shit!" Tommy said, shoving the door open as he stormed out of the broken-down building, you and Joel hot on his heels.

"You ain't got a choice Tommy! What else are you gonna do? Settle down somewhere nice? Huh? Let me remind you that the only other life there is out there is in another fucking QZ!"

"So, you'd let them murder innocent people rather than fight for a better life? All because you're too scared of some government?" Tommy asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Joel scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Nobody's innocent."

"No, but everyone's a survivor. And I don't know about you, but I'd like to revive the human race, not help end it!"

Tommy had been aiding the FireFlies for the past three months now, claiming that they were trying to bring peace to QZ's around the continent. And though you agreed with them in theory, you thought they were going about all of this the wrong way.

You gently wrapped your hand around Joel's arm. "He's not wrong-"

"Jesus Christ! Now you?" Joel tore his arm away from you, stomping just a few feet away from you both. "I mean fuck! Y'all act like I want to do this shit!" He let out a humorless laugh, rubbing his hands over his face.

Tommy walked over to him, setting his hand on his shoulder. "Come on man. We'll leave these bastards behind, and we'll figure out something else- something better, okay?"

Joel shook his head, shrugging off his hand. "There ain't nothing out there Tommy!" A vein began to show on Joel's forehead, making your heart clench.

"Then you can keep doin' this shit on your own, because I'm done." Tommy stormed back inside to grab his stuff, leaving you alone with Joel.

"Listen-"

"You're going with him."

"What?" Your brows furrowed together; confusion evident on your features. "I'm not going anywhere without you-"

"You're goin'!" Joel snapped, surprising both of you with his tone. "And that's final."

You stormed over to him, pointing your finger in his face. "You don't get to tell me what to do. I can look after myself just fine, thank you."

"Good. Because you're gonna need to."

"What are you saying Joel? Don't you want to be together?" Your rage quickly faded as you studied his features, realizing what he meant. "No. Joel, we've been together twenty years- I can't lose you now. Not when we've come so far."

Joel placed his hand on your shoulder, finally allowing his eyes to meet yours. Seeing the tears welling up in your eyes hurt him on so many different levels. "I'm sorry." He pressed a kiss against your forehead, his entire body trembling against yours.

"Don't do this." You whispered, closing your eyes as the pain of losing him washed over you.

Without another word, Joel turned around and walked down the street, leaving you in tears.

"Joel! Fuck! Please come back!" You screamed out, your voice cracking as a sob began to rise in your throat. You felt Tommy's hand on your shoulder; you turned, hugging him as tight as you could as each sob wracked through your body.

"He'll come around." He said, though he didn't know how much he believed that himself.

About two months later, you and Tommy ran into a woman named Maria in Jackson, Wyoming.

You and Tommy had been walking for hours at that point, trying to find some kind of civilization that wasn't completely corrupted by the people or its own government.

You had asked if you could take a break for a moment, deciding that the open field that surrounded a river would be the perfect place to breathe.

Tommy reluctantly agreed, saying that you had five minutes while he went to find a place to 'take a piss,' in his own words.

You laid back on the ground for a while, closing your eyes to take in all of the smells and sounds of nature, trying to ignore the chill that always seemed to creep in through your heavy layers of clothing.

Though when you opened your eyes, a woman stood behind your head, pointing a gun in your face. You'll admit, Maria always knew how to make one hell of an impression.

She invited you and Tommy to come and live in the commune that the two of you hadn't even noticed; it's enormous gates only stood but two miles from where they had found you.

It's safe to say you both accepted. Though you agreed to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.

It had been months since then, and Jackson life seemed to be a perfect fit for the both of you.

It didn't take long for Tommy and Maria to begin dating, though you always knew there was something between the two of them.

And while a few different men in the commune tried to worm their way into your heart, you made it known that you weren't looking for any tenants at the moment.

Two years later and you still couldn't seem to let Joel go.

You had no idea if he were still alive at this point, but you held out hope. He had to be out there somewhere; you could feel it.

And while Jackson was absolutely perfect, you didn't get to stay here for free. You were paired up with a farmer named Kenny, the both of you tasked with taking care of the pigs and chickens, making sure their pens were clean and they had plenty of food and water.

"Morning Kenny! How's Miss Q doing this morning?" You asked as you closed the pen's gate behind you, reaching over to pet one of the pigs that were happily munching on their lunch.

"She seems to be doing a lot better after your last goodnight kiss." Kenny gestured towards the pig in question, who was playing in the mud with her baby piglets.

"Ahh, I'm glad to hear it! I was worried about her for a while there." Miss Q the pig lost one of her piglets during birth two weeks ago and she seemed to be in a funk ever since.

"You're tellin' me." Kenny said, handing you a shovel. "You start on the chickens while I refill their feed?"

You simply nodded, taking the shovel and heading out towards the chicken coup to clean out their pen.

On your way over, you heard men yelling commands to one another, and not a moment later the gate was open, allowing a group of people to come inside.

They already made a supply run the other day, so you didn't have a clue as to what they could be doing outside. Deciding to mind your own business, you walked on, making a mental note to ask Tommy about it over dinner.

That was, until you heard it.

"Tommy!"

Your eyes went wide as chills ran down your spine, your breath caught in your throat. You dropped your shovel, walking down the street towards the gates.

The closer you got, the more you believed it could actually be him. You saw Tommy holding the man in a tight embrace, carrying on a conversation you couldn't make out the words to.

You picked up your pace, now racing towards the men as fast as you could.

Hearing the sounds of boots stomping against the ground, the man looked up, his wide eyes staring straight into yours, making you stop right in your tracks.

"Joel." You whispered, your soft pants causing little white clouds to block your vision for a moment.

Joel pulled away from Tommy, gently brushing past him as he made his way over to you.

"Darlin'-"

You practically jumped on him, digging your nails into his back as you held him impossibly close, tearing up at the soft chuckle he let out.

"I'm here baby, it's alright." He whispered into your hair, holding you just as close.

You stayed like that for a while, neither of you wanting the moment to end just yet. You've wondered around for the past two years feeling as though you were missing something- like you weren't complete. And this was it; Joel was your missing half.

"Sooo, this is her, I assume?" You heard a girl say from behind you. You turned to face her, smiling at how cute she looked with the millions of layers of clothing.

Joel cleared his throat, introducing you to Ellie.

You shook her hand, giving her a warm smile. "I'm impressed, honestly. You're the oldest kid I've seen in a while that isn't completely stuck in a QZ."

"You should be. It isn't easy trying to survive with this asshole." Ellie said, making Joel roll his eyes.

"I got you here in one piece, didn't I?"

"Eh, the jury's still out."

You couldn't quite put your finger on it, but there was some kind of connection between the two of them. Even when you all were eating dinner in the cafeteria later on that night, you could see it.

And when it finally hit you, you couldn't help but tear up a bit.

You vividly remembered all of the dinners you had with Joel and Sarah over twenty years ago, listening to their playful banter and having to step in when one got offended.

"So," Ellie began, pulling you from your thoughts. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" You asked, taking a sip from your glass of water.

"How did you and Joel get separated. Bastard won't tell me."

"Ellie." Joel warned, staring at her with a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

"What? I'm curious!"

"Things just didn't work out, honestly. We both needed time away from each other I guess." You felt Joel's attention shift to you, though you couldn't bare to look at him in that moment.

Of course you were glad he was back, but that didn't make two years of heart break just go away with a snap of his fingers. It was going to take time.

Disappointed that your answer wasn't as interesting as she hoped, Ellie went back to eating her dinner.

"So, you never told me what brought you all the way out here. Tell me everything." You looked between Joel and Ellie, resting your chin on your fists.

Joel cleared his throat, glancing at Ellie before focusing on you. "Marlene wanted me to bring her out to Salt Lake with the other FireFlies."

"Why?"

"Uh- You know how Marlene is; she doesn't tell any of us much of anything-"

"You know Marlene?" Ellie asked, suddenly interested in the conversation.

"Sadly." Your eyes slightly squinted as you stared at Joel, looking him up and down with suspicion. He was always a horrible liar. "She always had a stick up her ass last time I saw her."

"Really? She was chill with me. She didn't even freak out when she saw that I was infect-"

Joel let out a loud cough, turning in his seat to look at Ellie with wide eyes.

"You're infected?" You asked, a small smile beginning to tug at your lips.

"She is, but listen-"

You held up your hand, cutting off Joel. "For how long?"

Ellie glanced at Joel, almost as if she were asking for permission before answering. "A couple of months."

You watched as Ellie pulled up the sleeve of her shirt, revealing a scarred over bite mark on her forearm.

You traced your finger over the skin, marveling at all of the cordyceps veins that spiraled around the bite. "Hm." You leaned back in your chair; Ellie pulled her sleeve back down. "How do you feel?"

"Fine, I guess. It's a little weird to know it's there though."

"Eh, you'll get used to it. Try being infected for two years." You said with a laugh, taking a sip from your drink.

"What?" Joel sat up straight in his seat, his eyebrows furrowing together.

"Oh, yeah!" You stood up and set your foot on the table, rolling up your jeans to reveal your own bite mark that lay just above your ankle.

Joel stared at your leg for a while, your conversation with Ellie was nothing but mumbles to him at this point.

It was his fault. If he hadn't been such an asshole then maybe this never would've happpened..

Joel stood from his chair, hurrying out of the room without saying a word.

"I'll be right back." You told Ellie, hurrying after him. When you got outside, Joel was leaning against the side of the building, a hand on his chest with his eyes squeezed shut. "Jesus Joel, what's wrong?"

"M'fine. Go back inside." Joel waved his hand out to dismiss you, trying to conceal his pain.

You placed your hand on his back, frowning when he flinched at your touch. "Hey, look at me."

"Baby-"

"Look at me, Joel."

Joel finally looked up at you, meeting your piercing gaze.

"Breathe with me?" You asked as you took a deep breath in, following up with five more when he began to copy you.

He took another deep breath by himself this time, standing up straight. "I swear, I don't know why those keep happening."

"They're panic attacks, baby. I'm sure everyone in the world gets 'em at this point." You pressed your back against the wall, crossing your arms over your chest. "What caused it?"

Joel shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Was it my bite? If so, then you have to know that it wasn't your fault-"

"Of course it was my fault." He put his hands on his hips with a huff. "If I had just- been there, then maybe things would've been different.."

"But I'm fine, aren't I?"

"And if you weren't? What would I have done then, huh?" Joel snapped, now inches from your face. "I can't live in a world without you. I've lost too much already."

"C'mere." You grabbed the edge of his shirt and pulled him close to you, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. "I'm safe. You're safe. We're safe. Okay?"

Joel stared at you for a moment, fear evident on his features. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, holding you firmly against his chest. "Okay."

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broadwayfangirl222 · 4 months

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Spoilers for Hazbin Hotel Episodes and my thoughts/initial reactions:

Episode 1:

I adore the opening narration, it genuinely feels like a fairytale being told to a kid and I get the vibe Lilith and Lucifer were trying to help Eve by giving her the apple. And for people worried about her being Stella 2.0 It comes off more as Lilith taking over since Lucifer became low key depressed and while there might be issues between them it might be more communication issues than anything else

Husk's voice sounds a bit gruffer than it initially came off as in the trailers and I really like how it sounds

Angel brings up good suggestions of having a celebrity be a selling point for the hotel and why can't Alastor use his connections to bring more people to the hotel

and their answers (of Charlie not wanting to exploit him and people needing to choose to be there, not be forced to be there) were also really great points

I feel low key dumb for thinking Adam was actually there, he wouldn't bother to bring himself down to their level

Charlie's realization this asshole is her mom's ex is hilarious

Tbh I would've wanted to see more of them making the commercial but it was so much fun to see and I love how Alastor only agreed to put genuine effort in the commercial if he never had to do anything related to TV again

Niffty zoning out when the camera is on her just game me hypnotoad vibes (dumb and obvious comparison but that's where my mind went)

Wow...what the hell, they really are cutting the time in half just as a "fuck you" to Charlie and her idea?! Really harsh and just this whole thing works to show they're not so different than the demons

Is it just me or is there weird audio mixing issues with Brandon Rodgers' audio as Katie Killjoy?

Ohhh interesting the 6 months thing is cause an angel managed to be killed and it's a cover up! I'm genuinely curious where this goes

Episode 2:

Good point with this being something that could make people be willing to hear this idea of redemption out

Omg of course Niffty is into Pentious. Also interesting she didn't know who the V's were.

Vox in the trailer sounded like seth rogan to me but he sounds way more gameshow host to me

VELVETTE'S BRITISH?!?! Also kinda cool to see her being a bit more business focused and not just kinda high energy chaos

OMG! Finally we get to hear Valentino! It's kinda cool how his accent is partly there, like it's thicker when he talks in some parts than others. It's done in a way that's less the VA dropping the accent and more it being a deliberate thing for the character

For Vox and Val's relationship we got this idea of Val being the one in charge and mistreating Vox but Vox trying to calm Val down feels like him and Velvette just let Val think he's the one who's in charge of the V's while Vox is actually the one to plan stuff through

Fun little bit of Val poking fun at Vox's obsession with Alastor and I kinda like it's all of them kinda snapping at eachother and messing with one another

I've seen thumbnails for this song on youtube and i've been trying to avoid it and I'm so glad I can finally see it. This song and Adam's songs were low key my faves of these first couple episodes.

One thing that stood out to me in this song is two lines from Alastor is "Is Vox as strong as he purports or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees" (and cute little bit of Val and Velvette looking kinda smug at that line) Cause it does raise an interesting idea: The Vees essentially all prop each other up, how would they handle being purely on their own

"And here's the sugar on the cream, he asked me to join his team, I said no and now he's pissy" Oh so basically he tried asking Alastor out and didn't take the rejection well?

Is that a robo fizz?!?!

I actually appreciate Angel wasn't the one told to be the spy on the inside but rather Pentious. It's a good way to get him involved with this and just isn't the more obvious plot choice

With Angel feeling jealous and insecure I'm actually really glad there isn't that thing where this new character is suspicious and one character points that out but they keep getting dismissed by everyone else and just accused of being jealous

Poor sir Pentious...And honestly this moment is just really sweet and honestly Charlie's design with her hair and Pj's are so adorable!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel early access #hazbin hotel spoilers #shut up me #my ramblings

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budderdomo · 4 months

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My Paint Tool Sai Brushes/Painting Process Tutorial!

Explanations and Examples down below

Disclaimer: long post

Hello! I wanted to first thank everyone for liking/reblogging my most recent art piece (the Darkiplier one) It has become my first post with over 1000 notes which is just insane for me. I just wanted to do something to thank you guys for that.

Anyway, this post will be divided like this, so scroll to the title if you want specific things

Introduction

Brush textures/shapes for download

Overall process -> Terms and Definitions

How I use each brush (+ examples) -> Sketch -> Lineart (only do this sometimes) -> Rendering -> Textures + Post Processing

Conclusion

Introduction

This post is mainly for me in the future to look back on how my painting process was. My process changes ALL the time, sometimes I use lineart, sometimes I paint, sometimes I don't use textures, sometimes I have 100 layers, sometimes I have 1. It just changes depending on the piece. There is no "correct" way to do art. Do what you want!

Second of all, I feel I should point out you don't need fancy brushes or many brushes to make good art. I painted this piece with 1 brush.

That's right, 1 brush (it was the P A I N T brush shown in main). I didn't have a sketch, I didn't have any lines, I started with big shapes and went from there.

Third of all, I use Paint Tool SAI (the first one). So this will be specific to that program. I'm sorry, it's just what I know how to use.

Brush Textures/Shapes

You may see in my brushes that there are textures/shapes that don't come with the standard SAI program. I tried to find the links for you to download them yourself.

Arrow: https://www.deviantart.com/digikat04/art/Custom-SAI-Brush-I-265506547

All texture brushes: https://painttoolsaibrushes.splstc.com/painttool-sai-textures/

For some reason I can't find where I got marble pt. 2 or chalk so here's the png files. (You can convert them to .bmp files) (Hopefully that works!)

Chalk : Marble pt. 2

Overall Process

Before I go over my process I'm going to define some terms I'll be using and what I mean by them:

Flats - base colors

Rendering - Includes shading, lighting, small details, and texturing to define a form

Blending - mixing two separate colors together

Reduction - Once you've made a line/shape, reduction is the act of erasing part of it -> At the bottom of my brushes (in the images up above) you can see a checkered box which makes your brush transparent. I use the erasing brush to Reduce the red circle.

Persistence - How well the brush can create a new shape/color on top of pre-existing colors (If the brush blends a lot on top of other colors it has low persistence)

"Hard" vs "Soft" brushes - How well defined an edge is on a brush

Stabilizer - Turns trembly lines into smooth lines

So, I draw a different way each time. My canvas size is normally between 2500 pixels and 4000. I usually do around 3000 though. In general for my paintings I usually do

A sketch

Flats

Hue Shifts

Lighting/Shadows

Brighter Light/Deeper Shadows (Highlights/Ambient Occlusion)

Smaller Details

Texturing

Post Processing

For my bigger compositions, I make thumbnails. And for my "comic book" style I use lineart and layer modes (like multiply, luminosity)

How I Use Each Brush (+ Examples!)

Sketch

I have 2 sketch brushes. "pencil" and "sketch" For most of my life I have been using the default pencil brush on size 1. But recently I have been using this softer "sketch" brush on size ~20 or so. Either way works, but I find that the "pencil" brush is easier for linework and the "sketch" brush is easier to blend into paintings

"Pencil" : "Sketch" examples

Lineart (opt.)

Nowadays I don't use lineart that often, but if I do it's with my "Softlines" brush. It's great for both very thick and very thin lines. I lower the opacity of my sketch and put lineart on a new layer on top of it

"Softlines" brush examples

Flats

With lineart I seperate each new color with a new layer. For painting I'm now using one color as an underpainting color and working on top of that layer. So I render one thing at a time while working on the same layer.

I lower the opacity of the sketch and create a new layer under my sketch. I use my "pencil" brush to lay out the underpainting color and "blur" for hue shifts. And then I reduce it to the silhouette using my "sketch" brush (This gives a softer outline)

Rendering

This would take way too long to explain every step of how I do it. So I'll explain how I use my brushes in this step.

"Arrow!!!" - I use this brush for laying out intial shapes, big areas of color, shading, lighting. The arrow shape has a point on the end that's really great for triangular shapes. It's not very good at small details because of the texture applied to it.

"Sketch" - I use this brush during the rendering as well. It's great for small details that you want a softer look of. It has a high persistence so it's great for working on the same layer.

"P A I N T" - This is a brush that's good at very many things. It has higher blending than "sketch" or "Arrow!!!" and it's shape is square. Great for blending, general painting, small details, reduction, etc.

"blur" - great for gradients or to smooth something out a lot

"Gaussian" - is a gaussian blur. Great for making things out of focus or fuzzy

"square TEX" - texture brush that has high persistence with some blending

"metal TEX" - texture brush with high blending and a spread shape.

"speckle TEX" - texture brush for kind of a sparkly look. High persistence

"water TEX" - texture brush that works kind of like a glaze. You can use for flair/fun

example

Post-Processing

Typically I use more filters for this. Paint Tool Sai has sliders to change hue, saturation, brightness, contrast, luminosity, and color deepen. So I tend to mess with those. I also add effects like chromatic aberration

The tutorial I follow for chromatic aberration in Paint Tool Sai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thmaephD9Ec&t=169s

I also add particles like dust and other objects.

Finally I use my Gaussian blur to make things out of focus/motion blur

Conclusion

I hope this helps! I feel like I'm at a point in my art journey where I'm good enough to give advice. So hopefully this helps someone out there with their art journey! Obviously I have a long way to go, but I'm pretty proud of where I've come. I remember watching speedpaints and tutorials trying to become better at art. So I kind of want to add to that cycle for artists. :D Have a great day!

#paint tool sai #brushes #art tutorial

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lord-shitbox · 6 months

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part 2 of this ask

📝Process for hurt mezu drawing

here are the steps i dug out of an art server's wips channel lol

1. initial sketch

2. refine sketch. thats lines now babey. (omitted "the sleeves are KILLING ME WAHHH" stage that led to this)

3. grayscale, to use with gradient map (this is a more polished grayscale than I started with, i dug the working file out to get better images)

4. find nice gradient map (ended up being the same one I'd used for the piece i made right before. the goal is to make what's essentially an underpainting, not to color the whole thing with one map)

5. tweak and add colors that arent in the map with hard light layers & also sneak in a layer for special effect and atmospheric/ scenic perspective while you're at it

6. shading & more finishing effects. pretty much all of the shading was done with hard light layers! the only non-hard light layers I used for the shading were the particle effect layers & like one faint glow layer to fix some values. blood was done with linear burn

✨Inspiration for hurt mezu drawing

the coloring method (grayscale -> saturated gradient map underpainting -> additive color adjustments) is something I tried out with the piece i'd made right before (the one where gozu is holding mezu from behind) & turned out really well, so I wanted to keep going with it

I also wanted to draw them angstily again because it'd been a very long time. like half a year at least. angsting them is very enriching for my soul so I try to do it regularly, this one was overdue

subconsciously referenced the poses in the initial sketch from this old thing (feb 2021). i love doing this. all my for-fun works recycle old elements in some way. my favorite game is "what old art reminds me of what im doing rn" im so good at digging stuff out of my archives for it. everyone loves when i do this

the gangi-kozou panel also

i went through a "shade in bold red-orange & dark blue with hard light layers" phase in like..april/may of 2021. i still like that stuff a lot so I wanted to revisit it

💚Things you like about hurt mezu drawing

repasting the link there but the sixth image in the process is essentially the final so you can just look at that

the colors are nice!! I'm real happy with using more saturated colors n I think the warm vs cool balance works really well

the sleeves (man being dramatic on the sand meme)

no like fr look at the 2021 piece's kimono sleeves vs the one I just did 2.5 years later. so satisfying

Gozu's expression came out nice

i think the claws and flash lines successfully added Emphasis to Gozu's expression & the piece overall

the poses … the drama …. the brush textures are also good

⏳Things you’d do differently with hurt mezu drawing

add in a liiitle more contrast...aka use a wider range of values. Some lighter lights and darker darks. I miss my 2021 hard neon lighting

a bit more distinction between the characters and the background also

the composition isn't bad but it could be better. Should've thought more about the way the eye would flow around the image in the drafting stage (solid b&w color block thumbnails are good for this)

Moar Sparkles. (I put a solid amount of large & low opacity light bubbles in there & some finer brighter dots especially around the claw stems, but I think more clusters of tiny bright lights on the characters themselves would've gone hard)

💌Some favourite feedback on art

as the wise man Austin Kleon once said: keep a "praise file" of all the positive feedback you get (if you've never read "Steal Like an Artist," you must). so. i am prepared for this question hold on

tastes like sugar glass

multiple people have told me my art is soft & dreamlike

jayce you reblogged my touchstarved art with nice tags on april 10th ive got that saved love uou

umm theres a lot...anytime someone keysmashes or feels emotional because of my art i get happy ,,, lys messaged me about the hurt mezu piece that made me happy also,,,,,there is so much joy in the world

#shitboxposting #asks #shitbox drawn #JM SORRY I FEEL LIKE THE FORMATTING ISNT EASY TO READ NO MATTER WHAT I DO....AUGH #all my class work with actual conecptual meaning is monochrome what am i doing...man.......#i need to post more art and i also need to make more art. aghhh. boots up ultrakill and magical drop again #im actually Not sure how im going to afford the next few years of my life 😭😭 a bitch gotta have time to do fuck all but i need money..!!!!#whatever its fine. i have time to do fuck all right Now and thats what matters

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albertasunrise · 2 years

Text

A Problem Shared - Part 7

Masterlist

Summary: When Marcus is struck down with a sudden but serious illness, you both bond over shared ills.

Pairings: Marcus Pike x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose not to list any warnings. If you are easily triggered by health problems then do not read. (Got married, been busy... same excuse as before 😂... hope you enjoy this. I know I've sorta deviated from the mentalist storyline a bit but hey! Hope this was worth the wait.) Also I half assed the proof read so sorry if there are mistakes... I'm tired y'all!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

You sat there chewing your thumbnail as Teresa paced the waiting room. Neither of you was sure how long you were expecting to wait for news. These things took time. But you’d have hoped after four gruelling hours of waiting, there would have been some sort of update. You knew she was worried about Patrick. She’d never expected when coming to visit you and Marcus that she’d end up in this sort of situation but as you glanced down at your swollen belly you couldn’t help but feel glad that your family were being given a chance. You just prayed that this one would be the one that saves him.

The baby moving tore you from your dark thoughts and you chuckled as they danced inside you.

“What?” Teresa asked upon noticing your slight outburst.

“Someone’s dancing a jig.” You said as you motioned to your stomach and she sat beside you, looking for silent permission before placing her hand on your moving belly.

“Wow, that’s crazy.” She said in awe, her eyes growing to the size of saucers as she looked up at you.

You gave her a soft smile, watching her as she returned her gaze to where her hand rested on your baby bump and you saw as her mind started to wander.

"You know... I often thought about what my life would have been like if I'd chosen Marcus." She confessed and your head tilted slightly as you waited for her to continue "I love Patrick... I do, but sometimes... God, sometimes he can just be so pigheaded and stubborn."

You chuckled at her statement which elicited a smile from the agent "Marcus had this whole beautiful life planned out for us and I'd be lying to you if I said that I hadn't thought about calling him. Patrick didn't seem to know what he wanted past telling me how he felt and at points that just didn't feel enough for me."

"Know the feeling." You grumbled and she smirked at you before continuing.

"But then I thought about how he'd been married before. He'd had the wife and the kids and the house and that was all taken from him so to expect him to just want to do that all over again just seemed a bit much to ask, ya know." She stated and you nodded understandingly "Seeing you and Marcus though... this family you have together... It made me realise that I was never his to have."

"He proposed." You said, out of the blue "Albeit on his death bed but he asked me to marry him all the same."

"That's amazing." She gushed and you gave her a shy smile, nodding.

"He uh... Well, he confessed that he'd wanted to marry me all along and I guess, hearing you now talk about how expecting Jane to want that all again... Was probably a bit harsh on my part to just expect Marcus to want it after all he'd been through."

"It all worked out for the best though."

"I still left him though." You sobbed "I left him and he got sick again... If I'd just put my own selfish wants aside and understood his reasons, we may have caught this sooner and he wouldn't have ended up on death's door again."

"You can't think that way." Teresa said as she took your hands in hers "Things happen for a reason, sometimes those things are awful and heartbreaking but they still happen for a reason. You and Marcus are destined to grow old together, that I am sure of." She assured you and you nodded "You'll see."

A white shape came into your line of sight and you looked up to see Marcus' doctor standing there. His expression was hard to read but you could swear you saw the hint of a smile on his lips.

"Well?" Lisbon asked and the smile grew.

"The surgery was a success." He stated and you both breathed a consecutive sigh of relief "Your husband is fine Miss and Marcus is responding well." He said finally as he looked at you.

"Thank you." You sobbed and he gave you a small nod.

"He still has a road ahead." He said firmly "Still got a slight fever, we're treating the infection with some strong medication but we're confident that if we can get that cleared, he should recover."

"Is there a chance his body will reject the kidney again?" Teresa questioned, her brow knitted together as she awaited his reply.

"There is always a chance of that." He confessed, "But as long as he takes his meds and reports any symptoms that something isn't right to us, then we will be able to treat it sooner."

"I shouldn't have left?" You sobbed again and Teresa shook her head.

"This is not your fault." The doctor assured you "Marcus just didn't realise that his symptoms were something more sinister. It happens but he, and you, will know what to look out for now." He said softly and you gave him a weak nod "I will fetch you when they're both settled.

"Thank you." Lisbon said, giving the doctor a small smile before returning her attention to you.

You returned to waiting then, watching the clock tick away the minutes before two nurses turned up. One to take Teresa to Jane and you to Marcus. She hugged you before following her guide and diligently, you followed yours. You were led into the familiar ICU and into the same room he'd been occupying before. It wasn't all that different except for Marcus was no longer on life support. He was laying there, as if asleep. His skin had started to return to a healthier colour. He already looked less tired. Just the thin layer of sweat on his fevered brow remained. You took a seat beside him and took his hand on yours, placing a soft kiss on his knuckles.

His doctor entered a short while later, smiling at the scene before pulling your attention away from your lover.

"There are a few things we should probably discuss." He stated, taking on a stern tone and you nodded, turning to face him.

"So... As confident as I am that Marcus is going to recover. There are some things that you need to be aware of."

You nodded, giving him an apprehensive look.

"The fact that Marcus has had to have another transplant will increase his chances of needing another one, in the future." He stated and you gave him a slight nod "As you know from before, it's common for kidney transplant recipients to require another again further down the line but I do hope that Marcus will be able to live a long and healthy life with this one."

"Okay." You said with a nod, your voice wobbling.

"I don't want to scare you but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't tell you the facts. I am confident that Marcus is going to get better but he will need to take care of himself."

"He's an FBI agent. Will he be able to continue to go out in the field?" You asked and the doctor gave you a small nod.

"Eventually." He confirmed "But let's just focus on getting him better. We can think about firefights later." He said with a wink that made you giggle.

"We deal with art thieves. Not as hardcore as major crimes." You clarified and the doctor gave you a nod to show he'd understood you before standing and leaving.

You were then stuck waiting again.

The nurses had said that all going well, he's start to come around in a few hours but you were apprehensive. He'd been in a coma before his surgery. Could he really just get a new kidney and wake up? When visiting hours were over your left, you'd argued that you didn't want him to wake up alone but you knew in reality that you couldn't stay.

The nurses promised to call you if there were any changes and come morning. You'd received no call.

So you decided that you would take Bella with you when you went to visit him that day. You hoped that hearing his daughter's voice might pull him from the deep sleep that still clutched to him. You arrived on the ward, greeting all the nurses as you did every day and then made your way to Marcus' room where alas, he lay in the same position he'd been in when you left the night before.

"He'll wake up when he's ready." One nurse said to you as she came in to check his medications and you gave her a small nod.

After an hour of silence, you decided that perhaps talking to him would help. So you did.

"Bella misses her daddy." You started, looking down at your four-month-old daughter who was playing with her feet "She's got a tooth coming through, can't believe how quickly she's growing." You chuckled to yourself.

Nothing.

"I miss you." You choked after a few minutes of silence "I hate that I left you for such a stupid reason. I've regretted it since but this who situation just makes me hate my decision even more."

You looked down at your daughter, your eyes locking with hers and you sob.

"Please fight for her if not for me. Bella deserves to grow up with her daddy around and so does this one." You finished, resting your hand on your bump.

Marcus remained silent.

He remained that way for weeks. Paused in time. The doctors had told you that he was responding well to the kidney and that the infection was gone. Their new concern was that he'd potentially been left with permanent damage from the seizures he'd suffered.

"We won't know though until he wakes up." The doctor told you and you could only nod.

If he wakes up.

Another week passed and you were starting to lose all hope. You were sitting at his bedside when Teresa and Jane arrived. She had a bunch of flowers in hand and he had a take-out tray with three coffee cups and your smiles. How they knew you well now.

"Hey." She said softly as she stepped inside, putting her hand up to stop you when you went to stand "How are you?" She asked as she placed the flowers on the side and moved to hug you.

"As good as can be expected." You sighed, eyes drifting to your daughter snoozing in her pram "I hoped that she'd help him wake up but so far, no luck."

"What are the doctors say?" Patrick asked and you tried hard to compose yourself before you answered him.

"They're worried that the seizures he suffered before his surgery have caused some long-term damage." You replied, scraping a hand over your face to wipe away your tears "He slipped had then slipped into a coma and he just hasn’t woken up."

"Do they think he will?" Lisbon asked and you shrugged your shoulders "They say his brain waves show that he's still in there but it's impossible to say. It's just a case of waiting for him to either wake up or slip away."

A small but audible gasp escaped Teresa's lips and you looked at her sadly before returning your gaze to Marcus.

"This is not how I'd thought this would go." You sobbed "I thought he'd get the kidney, wake up and we'd be a family again."

"I know." Teresa soothed, taking your shaking hand in hers.

"This is my punishment for leaving him." You choked.

"Pike's been sick for a while." Jane piped up, pulling your attention to him "He's been through more than most and he's tired but he's got something to fight for." He continued, giving you a small smile "Just be patient with him. He'll come back to you when he's ready."

You felt your throat tighten at his words. He was right, Marcus had suffered so much in such a short period.

A silence settled over you all then. Jane took a seat beside Lisbon when she offered to hold Arabella a while. The baby seemed to be so glad of the attention and it made you smile to watch her interact with the couple. You were so enraptured by the sight that you almost missed Marcus' hand tightening around yours. You jumped at the slight pressure and whipped your head around in time to see his eyes crack open.

"Marcus?" You asked, standing slightly so you could take his face in your hands "Baby, you with me?"

He gave you the weakest of nods and you sobbed before placing a soft kiss on his lips. Resting your brow against his, you smiled at him as his eyes opened a little further.

"I'll get the doctor." Piped up Jane as he stood up from his seat.

"B-b-be-"

"Shhhhh... Don't try to talk." You said sweetly, kissing him again before standing straight and turning to grab Bella "Arabella's right here sweetheart." You finished as you scooped your baby up and turned to face him.

His face lit up at the sight of his daughter in your arms. You carried her closer, propping her on the edge of the bed so he could weakly take her hand in his.

"Agent Pike." Came a new voice, grabbing everyone's attention "It's good to see you awake. You gave us all a bit of a scare." He finished with a smile.

Marcus' mouth started to move as if to speak but the words escaped him. Instead, he gave the man a sat look as he watched the doctor approach.

"You, are a very lucky man." He stated, "Twice now we've miraculously managed to get you a kidney in the nick of time." He jested and Marcus' lip twitched at that.

The doctor did his checks and a nurse fed him some ice chips which soon soothed his scratchy throat. When the doctor was all but done and the nurse left, Marcus finally found his voice.

"Thank you." He managed to say, the doctor smiling at him sweetly.

"It's not me you should thank." He stated, giving you a small wink which made Marcus frown as his gaze drifted to you "That's the man you should thank." The doctor finished, stepping back to reveal the agent's saviour.

His eyes went wide as his gaze locked with Patrick Janes and the blonde man could do little but smile at him and give that signature wave of his. The doctor gave the agent's shoulder a friendly squeeze before leaving the room and then a tense silence settled over you all as you waited for someone to speak.

"You saved me?" Marcus managed to rasp out and Jane nodded.

"We were a match." He said with a shrug, stepping further into the room "When we'd received the call that you were sick again and your lovely lady here told me that you needed a kidney, well...." He trailed off a moment, his gaze drifting to Teresa and then you "The decision was easy."

"I-" Marcus was left speechless.

The man that had brought him so much heartache, had been the one to come through when he needed a miracle.

"I don't kn-know what t-to s-say." He stuttered, throat tightening as he gazed back at the man he'd hated for so long "Thank you."

"Ahhhh." Jane waved him off "Don't mention it." He finished with a smile.

"Well now that you're awake." You started, pulling his attention back to you "And you're both here... I think now's maybe the best time to announce that we're having another girl."

"Really?" He sobbed and you nodded, letting loose tears of joy.

"Oh my goodness." Lisbon Expelled.

"I knew it!" Jane practically shouted "I said it was, didn't I? Did I not say it was a girl."

"That you did Jane." You said with a chuckle "That you did."

4 months later...

You watched as Marcus stood at the stove, dancing with Bella on his hip. It was hard to imagine that a little over two months prior, he was knocking on death's door for the second time since you'd met him.

His recovery had been so much smoother this time around. He seemed to go from sick to well in zero seconds flat and you were so proud of how far he'd come. A glint caught your eye and you gazed down at your hand, smiling at the beautiful ring he'd given you.

It had transpired that he'd bought it after you'd left. All along he had held out hope that you'd come back to him. You just hated that it had taken him almost dying for that to happen.

"Right Bella, daddy needs to serve up dinner so I want you to sit in your chair nicely okay." He said sweetly as he popped her in her highchair.

He then went about serving up dinner, then proceeding to eat and feed his daughter the mashed-up version of your meal at the same time. All whilst discussing your plan with the newly married Mr and Mrs Jane.

The man was a natural.

Later that evening, you found yourself singing to yourself under the hot spray of the shower. At nine months along you were uncomfortable and ready for this baby to make her entrance. You rubbed your aching back as you relished how the hot water eased it.

"Room for another?" Came a suggestive voice and you grinned as Marcus stepped into view.

"Aways." You giggled, eyes raking over his form as he stripped bare for you and stepped inside.

"Still no movement?" He asked as he placed his hands on your swollen belly.

"Nope. She's determined to make us wait." You groaned, but that changed to a moan when his hand cupped your sex and his lips slanted over yours.

"Maybe we can try one of the things the doctor suggested." He purred as his finger drew circles around your sensitive bud.

You were aching for him in zero seconds flat. Cumming for him just as quick. Pinning your arms above your head he kissed you with a passion that consumed you. Then you were turning around and bearing yourself to him and he practically growled before sheathing himself inside of you in one swift movement. You were tighter than usual and that almost made him cum on the spot but after giving you and himself a moment to adjust, he started to move.

It was slow at first, testing the waters to see how you fared but as your moans got louder and you pleaded for him to fuck you harder, he let himself loose a little more. One hand supported your bump whilst the other was entwined with yours. Pleasured moans then filled the room as he brought you to your first climax. Your knees almost went but he caught you and kissed you sweetly, he slowed his movements for a moment so you could regain your witts and then he was at it again. A squeak from the baby monitor propped on the loo stopped you both a moment and you listened carefully, breathing a sigh of relief when no further sounds followed it. He could feel himself edging closer to his own release so he slid his hand down to rub circles on your clit again, making you cum hard a second time and bringing him right along with you.

He rested his head on your back a moment as he caught his breath before placing a soft kiss on your damp skin and pulled out. The shower was relatively uneventful after that. He helped you wash the areas you struggled to reach. Shaved your legs and even your other areas.

"Want to be tidy don't you, my love." He said as he did it.

You then checked on Bella and went to bed just like you did every night.

Then.

"Baby?" You said a few hours later, nudging your fiancé awake.

"Mmmm"

"I think she's coming." You said and this woke him slightly more.

"Why do you say that?" He grumbled as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

"Cus my waters just broke."

"I'll call Teresa."

...

The labour this time around was easier than the last.

Not the process.

That still hurt like hell.

This time you had Marcus beside you. Giving you words of encouragement as you pushed your new child into the world. Then when you heard her cry, he cried.

The next few hours were a blur.

The next morning, as you lay there nursing your new daughter, Teresa and Patrick arrived with your oldest in tow. They looked tired but elated to see you both and you couldn't help but grin as she practically threw Bella at Marcus so she could get a better look at your newborn.

"Long night?" Marcus asked Jane as the man rubbed his tired eyes.

"Could say that." The man replied, eliciting a chuckle from the agent "Looking forward to the sleepless nights again." He grumbled which grabbed your attention.

'You're pregnant?" She asked you and the couple nodded, smiling sweetly at his wife before they returned their attention to you.

"We wanted to wait to tell you but..."

"Congratulations guys." Said Marcus sweetly.

"So does the little lady have a name?" Patrick asked and you shared a look with Marcus before continuing.

"Evelyn." You started "Evie for short."

"Ah yes." Patrick replied with a smile.

"Jane." Marcus continued.

"Mmm?" Jane muttered as he looked at the agent "Want something?"

"No, that's her name." Marcus said with a smile "Evelyn Jane Pike."

Patrick's expression changed then. His blue eyes filled with tears as his gaze drifted to you and then back to Pike.

"After the man that saved my family." Marcus finished, giving Patrick's arm a friendly squeeze "The least we could do."

Taglist form

Tags: @hayley-the-comet @ajeff855 @mavericksicybabe @supernaturalgirl20 @dihra-vesa @nicolethered @practicalghost @theanothersherlockian @gallowsjoker @little-mrs-morales @sunnshineeexoxo @aliwritesfic @maryfanson @sherala007 @ayrusss @greeneyedblondie44 @elegantduckturtle @jediknight122 @goodgriefitsawildworld @voteforpedro09 @vanered15 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @mishasminion360 @snacswell @giggly-otter @athalien @mssbridgerton @huitzilinthebudgie3 @samanthacookieone @salome-c @radcollectivesoul @pedrohoe04 @thekohakuriver1 @paintlavillered @ktmadden86 @hotchlover @kirsteng42 @djjarins @balekanemohafe @misscampacyn @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @pedromandoverse @destiny-tsukino @mysun-n-stars @tombraider42017 @littlemisspascal @thatpinkshirt @bison-writes @evyiione @girlofchaos @vanemando15

#marcus pike x reader #marcus pike fanfiction #marcus pike mentalist #marcus pike gif #mentalist fantiction #mentalist #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #marcus pike x you

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starlightshadowsworld · 11 months

Text

Bendy and the dark revival part 4

Thonks

And Joey's in the thumbnail.

Oh boy.

Insert giant fuck you ink spider thingy.

I hate this...so much.

Fear shows your true nature

Yeah it shows your a basic bitch with a god complex.

... The fact this could be applied to multiple people in this series says a lot.

Alice!

Audery where are you

Looks at the corpses of spider ink things... You don't wanna know.

Yay Alice is coming.

Dunno how she got where we were with the description of "It's dark" but she's smart.

Ahhh!!! Baby bendy is back.

Poor lil guy he looks scared.

I won't hurt you bud I'm not Wilson.

... And he ran off :(

... And Joey's... Ghost is here?

What is happening right now?

I believe there's something special in all of us.

Why I think we can even conquer death itself

Especially you Audery

Nevermind I thought I had the line but nope.

Who are you?

Audery I get it's been a long long day but... He's been mentioned literally everywhere and you know, he's your boss. Or old boss now.

Don't you know me? Take a good look.

Ghost Joey and his magical lantern.

Joey drew in the flesh, well so to speak.

Ghost!

Come on up, let's take a look. There's something I wanna show you.

Remember when Alice told us not to move...

But sure no let's go follow the ghost of capitalism himself.

It's a cycle Audery. An ink stained nightmare forever stuck on repeat.

The cycle... The time loop?

The loop Henry is stuck in... We're in that loop here 2?

With just a pencil and a dream and a little help from the Gent Corporation, it came to being.

From what I gather it exists in parallel to the outside world. Completely removed from the match of time.

And like a record, it played over and over again.

So when Wilson had us put the items on the altars?

We got pulled into this parallel world stuck on a loop?

Man fuck that guy.

It's begun to crumble, wear down.

This studio is a monument to choosing the wrong road.

You were always pushing me, pushing me to do the right thing.

You should've pushed a little harder.

Now whether it was built for revenge or regret, I don't know. That's my riddle to solve.

I think it's a bit of both.

... So not everything here was created by Joey. Or more accurately weren't created by those in his studio.

The worst ones call themselves keepers, dangerous deadly folks.

Can't be worse than Wilson.

Trying to bring what they call order into this world.

... Wait is Wilson a keeper?

Freezing the cycle in place! Changing the script.

... Like saying the ink demon is dead when he's not.

Look, above all never forget your here for a reason Audery.

Damn you minimum wage job and your creepy keeper janitors.

Because I'm not the man, I'm just the memory.

Am I sympathising with Joey Drew?

Huh.

... And his grave is here...with candles and a bendy plushi... Okay than.

Same dates 1901-1971 and just a pencil and a dream on the wall.

Baby bendy!

And he ran off again...is it cos of us?

Lord Amok rules

No idea what that means... But the skull spider isn't comforting.

So they really did try and link a Gent Corporation building to the studio.

Giant skull spider drawn on the wall

... Nope... Nope.

Within our isolated walls, Lord Amok reigns. The drip drops of the leaking world above cannot stop his rule.

Those who oppose Amok's hand have their bodies crushed and fed into narrow pipes that lead into forgotten sewers under our feet.

Those tunnels are even deeper, their even darker than this one. There is only suffering down there.

But should anyone defeat Lord Amok, cast him fiwn into our small kingdom will belong to the conquerer. This is the secret of Amok's immortality.

Pass on the throne pass on the name.

... What... Who is this Lord Amok?

Is is the fuck you spider eye ink thingy? Is that why the skull spider is drawn everywhere?

Is it Wilson?

What is happening? Why is there another cult down here???

Love how Lord Amok works by Spartacus rules.

... Nevermind found him.

On a lil throne 2 how fancy.

Doesn't even say hi and tries to kill me, what an ass.

Hes got spider legs coming out his head... Looks like Hela's head thing in Thor Ragnarok.

All hail the new Amok

So... Audrey's the new Lord Amok now, that's cool.

Quite the succession stategy.

🤣.... What is happening...

Is she gonna get the spider legs in the head thing?

I see your mind as the truth unfolds

Hey ink demon.

Is my mind confused? Cos it's confused.

You will accept your fate before the end.

Well apparently there is no end and I already accepted working minimum wage for a company that charges $15 for it's coffee sooo...

Can't be worse than that.

Unless my fate involves Wilson in any way.

Than fuck that.

A city built on broken dreams

Woah...

I thought this world was just the studio but apparently not.

There's a whole city here?

How big is this place?

Your saying what im thinking Audery.

Oh hey Baby Bendy.

Awh he has a lil sleeping hat.

Where did you come from?

I'm guessing the ink, unless you mean right now than idk.

Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I really don't think you want to hurt me either, right?

He's just rubbing his lil eyes, aww sleepy guy.

Baby bendy shakes head.

Aww

Good, let's be friends than. What do you say, you and me?

Oml yess I wanna befriend the baby.

Awesome

Whoop!

Ohh he don't like the sound of the Gent building.

... Same honestly.

Achievement noise, Baby Bendy has joined your party.

And here starts chapter 4, Factory of horrors

.... Lovely.

Man there really is a city... And Wilson just.. Controls all of this?

.. Looks pretty empty, and there's a crashed car.

It's kind of creepy in here

Truest thing I've ever heard Audery.

Looks at Boris plushi on the chair 👀 stop itttt

And ghost Joey is back.

You haven't gotten far

Well jeez Joey, I'm not one of your workers you can annoy into working harder.

... Well not anymore.

How did you get in here

... He's a ghost Audery.

I see you have your father's, never quit, go-getter spirit.

Her father?

Oh now you know my father?well newsflash! I didn't even know my father...or my mother... or any of my family.

Awh hun.

So her father worked here too?? If that's how Joey knows hin.

Please god tell me he isn't Wilson.

You've chosen to forget the past.

You can't forget what you don't know Joey.

I can understand that.

Says the ghost of a man's memories.

There's something I wanna show you.

... Get back Joseph!

Alright Joey I'm here

... Henry?!

Let's see if we can find what you wanted me to see.

... Are we replaying the end of the last game??? Cos he said that than.

But... No we weren't here.

This won't take long.

The 425(?)loops say otherwise.. pal.

And back to Audery we go still in the old studio(?)

There's a little story you need to here.

Oo boy what now.

Once upon a time, Audery. There was a bitter old man.

And shocker it was Joey.

Who had lost just about everything. The real Joey Drew.

Called it!

He blamed everyone but himself for his mistakes. But mostly he blamed his old buisness partner for abandoning their work years and years ago.

Never thought ghost Joey would be this introspective.

But than. He's got nothing but time.

A man by the name of Henry Stein. A great artist and a good friend.

Which you stuck him in a time loop for.

In his anger, Joey used an evil machine to create another world.

A world made of paper and ink. Where he'd torment his own version of Henry forevermore.

Yup, 425 loops...and God knows how much by now.

But one day a miracle happened.

An angel came into Joey's life.

Susie or Allison?

A young woman by the name of Allison Pendal. She didn't visit often, but when she did. She saw something good in Joey, no one else could.

Including himself.

... So you trapped her in here 2?

Through their friendship. He began to see the world with better eyes.

So one day in his cartoon cycle of hatred. He gave Henry an angel of his own.

To guide him when things were dark. To always provide hope.

... And that's why Allison is the one to help him.

And Audery.

It's honestly sweet that Joey saw someone who made such a positive impact on his life and wanted Henry to have that too.

Showing he did care for him and realised his mistakes.

... Granted Henry was still trapped so there's that but giving him a light in the darkness was pretty good of Joey.

It was than, Joey decided to make something new.

Please not an animatronic.

Something he had always wanted, but could never have:

A family.

But not a cartoon one.

Something real. And after many many tries, he made something that made him happier than he ever could have imagined.

A wonderful loving daughter.

... Oh...

Bright and kind.

Almost human.

He created you Audery.

... So Joey, Joey is Audery's father.

I'm flesh and blood

No offence hun but you are covered in ink.

And absorbing it.

... So.. Audery Drew...

Ghost Joey said real, so by that I guess he meant with the ink machine?

Child of darkness...

Just because we're born in darkness doesn't mean we belong to it. We're always free to choose.

Okay, kingdom hearts.

Don't blame her tho, this is insane.

... But did Archgate know this??? Did Nathan? .. I mean, hiring your dead friends child is something.

Attention children of the machine

Fuck off Wilson!

And wheres Baby Bendy??

The feeble uprising in Lost Harbour has been ended by the keepers.

Oh boy.... But that means there's possible allies.

We are safe once again from the treason of the Cyclebreakers.

Fitting, in every sense of the word.

The keepers are watching.

Okay, big brother. Also confirmation he's a Keeper.

Didn't they want to break the cycle? Well freeze and destroy it?? Idk.

I'll never claim to understand Wilson.

In more important news, where's Baby Bendy?

Aaand the ink demons here... Great.

And Audery can't move.

.... Oh...

The ink demon and Baby Bendy are the same.

I know that shouldn't be surprising but... Damn.

Wonder if coming here set him off, he didn't want to come here.

Archie carter tape talking about how Gent Corp was asking for research subjects, how death here is like a way of life.

So they didn't stop at employees.

Wait Wilson created the Keepers? He isn't just one, he created one?

Can you take me to him?

..do we have too can we just...not?

Man I'd they deem us dangerous they'd have had a field day with Susie Alice.

Toxic fumes activated

Still better than seeing Wilson.

Was gonna question how they'd get toxic fumes here... But it's what the 70's?Couldn't have been hard to find.

Thought they'd have pumped em thro the vent... But apparently not? That was stupid.

But I'm not giving em tips on how to effectively kill us.

#bendy and the dark revival #Batim

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torchickentacos · 1 year

Text

Behind the art- step by step of how I made THIS post! https://at.tumblr.com/torchickentacos/happy-valentines-day/wb89h200y8qy

1: thumbnail art for idea at 11 pm the night before starting the real deal.

ACTUAL step 1: sketch, kind of map out the planes of the face. I STARTED with the asaro head planes but eventually just kind of ended up making my own little system that probably isn't great but whatever, it works. spend ten bajillion hours and 75 references on this stage to make the proportions right or at least close enough and also swear off trying to draw open eyes in profile view or at all, if possible.

2: block out grey underneath, will be made into the base for clipping layers. I'm grabbing layers after making this, so if it doesn't align entirely, that's because it was altered and moved around a bit for the final product and not in accordance with the first sketch.

3: start adding where the divots (shadows?? deeper parts?) in the face are. I used a semi-soft?? round brush that kinda blends or could be harder depending on opacity, idk how it works but I used it pretty much exclusively. Here's how I sort of see the light and dark areas??? but tbh it's less of a 'science' and more of an 'experiment in some random ass garage'.

4: no more guidelines since we've blocked out in grey what goes where, roughly. Darken the eye sockets, add shading under the nose, sort of find where the cheekbones and jaw are, and go from there. Start adding deeper creases and stuff, leaning towards detail work. Ignore that Drew's side has lighting and more shading, I accidentally did all of that on one layer fjgdjfgdjk.

5: add eyelid top because you forgot

6: get sidetracked and draw the eyebrow before remembering to sharpen the black lines. At this point I'm writing this all out live as I draw. It's been... 5 hours???

7??: work more on shading in her face. Remember to blend his out because it looks janky in comparison.

optional: congratulate yourself on that nice eyelid.

Blend stuff out, alter stuff there, end up here, ignore the hole in her head

8: spend literally 3 hours blocking out hair and realize drew's fucKING EAR IS MISSING

step idfc anymore: FINALLY START COLORING OH MY GOD IT IS COMING TOGETHER

Step???: coloring hair and adding a jacket and stuff!!! hair looks janky but with the lighting plans I have it's fine.

Decide you hate parts of it so you redo it. Go back to messing with hair. It is now 9:47 PM. Notice that Drew looks like a corpse. add warmer shading to him.

change mroe stuff. it is now the next morning. add backlighting. his hair is bugging me but i literally have no time to care about that.

FUCK AROUND WITH LIGHTING HELL YES I AM SO CLOSE. What I do is blue shadows in multiply and light peachy gold overlay for light. IMPORTANT NOTE: SUBSURFACE SCATTERING IS YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE!!!!!! That's the orangey glow you get from being backlit.

Final touches!!!!

#contestshipping #taylor's tag

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hikapoi · 1 year

Note

This is from the Artists Asks List. You can just pick the ones you're interested in answering if this is too much lol.

1, 9, 12, 15, and 25

I've answered #25 over here! (= 1. Do you prefer traditional drawing, or digital?

AHHHHH this is such a good question.. I always want to say a real pencil in my hand is the way to go even after all these years doing digital art but last year I don't think I did any traditional art at all... It honestly makes me so sad that the only time I do any traditional work is during Inktober or Sketchvember.. when the months roll by I just think, "ah darnit another year goes where I only do traditional work as part of a game." Man I just think traditional is when I'm at ease and most relaxed bc I can just feel fluid if I'm drawing for fun, but with digital you can really clean things up to look really good. A part of the reason I enjoy doing the yearly holiday cards when I ACTUALLY SEND ANY is that it's a time I can do special traditional art for my friends to make them really happy. I think I'm good at digital art but am even better with traditional, but I don't think I can say that anymore if I haven't really touched a pencil in recent years. It might be the opposite now, my traditional work lacks the precision and finesse of my digital work but since I have art supplies I PAID for and HAVE TO USE I have a tendency to experiment with traditional media more. I am STILL buying loads of art supplies to this date..

9. How much time do you spend drawing on an average day?

HNGNGHGH it really depends.. Ah, average day? Hmmm when I'm on fire I might say at least 2 hours a day, whether it's to work on a quick doodle or to continue a more time-consuming piece. There are days where I might spend 4-6 hours. The craziest for me for one day might be 8 hours-- with or without breaks in between.

12. Is it okay for people to ask you about your process?

YEAH ABSOLUTELY ALWAYS it's no secret. I always did the circle/stick man base but when I really got into One Punch Man in 2012 or so when Murata-sensei was streaming, I noticed he skipped that step and went straight to defining muscles, limbs, faces, etc. I thought DANG if I could do that I could draw SO MUCH FASTER and SO MUCH MORE!! It was horrible at first and I hated a lot of my art while I was trying out this new thing but now I'd say I'm fairly decent and it does get me to do more art faster.

Anyway! My process is to start with a pose idea. The timing on this varies, but I usually thumbnail with little stick figures until something sticks. If there is one I like I might blow it up or redraw it on a larger scale. I always start with the face shape and eyes first. It helps me get a good idea on how to frame the hair. I cannot feel I am drawing the character until I get this right. I'll then detail until I color. I skip a line art step most of the time because I clean my sketches along the way ((I KNOW, RISA)). If it's a piece I'm serious about being a "best" I might seriously do a line art layer but I usually have trouble because I can never find a comfortable inking pen AND I feel line art makes my art suddenly stiff. I used to never color but I try to do it as much as I can because I have always admired my friends for their bold colors and I told myself that that's my own personal goal to have more colored work.

15. How long does an average piece take you to complete?

If it's a fairly simple/rushed drawing that is semi-refined that can take me about 2-4 hours? I can get a lot done in just 1 hour as well thanks to all those Mob Psycho 100 60 min challenges. But if I just take my time drawing something that I don't particularly hate I'd say 2 hours is a good average. For a more detailed one with backgrounds or groups or lots of detail, that could take me at least 8 hours of actually drawing. The hours spent into references/getting ideas/thinking of a background add to an illustration's turnaround time even if I am not actually moving a pen.

Thank you for your interest in me! I hope maybe I've said something interesting!

These questions are from this art meme if you want to do it too: https://hikapoi.tumblr.com/post/708522112589119488/artist-asks

#art meme #hika talks

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connorchen-saddog8 · 25 days

Text

What Happened To Chair Porn?

Above notes are some initial brainstorms about this idea and some feedback from Harry.

Inspiration

The phenomena of the internet "lolcow" and act of extensive pervasive documentation of one persona only made possible by the rapidness of contemporary / technology. Resulting in internet archival histories and documentations, almost to an obsessive point, of a specific persona, engraining their legacy into internet culture which reverberate through the public internet consciousness.

Eroticism and its evolution caused by the advancements in technology and communication. (looking to Gene Youngblood's Synaesthetic Cinema and Polymorphus Eroticism). It talks about how with the invention of video and tape? porn? more easily accessible porn i guess - Erotica and sex is being depicted in a less sinful light in cinema, as well as its manifestations within art. Thinking about this in the lens of contemporary technology in social media. Both the insane accessibility of porn at the click of a button (which obviously has worrying implications in terms of exploitation etc) but also the "chronically online" side of things? Fetish art, rule 34, the ms paint home made obscure kind of "porn" made by a forum user about their never-before-heard of fetish about their favourite character buying wonderbread.

The exponential growth of the internet and the digital landscape. It's all so new, but the internet 10 years ago is a completely different animal than it is now. Something from 2016 is historical because of just how fast and everything it is.

Performance and the visceral real being an impossibility on the current digital landscape. The thin veil of performance and suspension of disbelief anyone must have to encounter anything on the internet. It's so unreal! its so real!

Objects

The archival resources and rabbit holes of internet "theorists". Old blog posts and forums of early internet, the exponentially growing mound of media in the form of TikTok, YouTube, Instagram. Specifically the video essay farm on YouTube - media analysis or "tea" reporters. Horrible YouTube thumbnails. MS paint fetish art.

Idea summary

The work will consist of 3 layers of media focused on performance and the screen in a hyper-online shape. This passage will be written like I am describing fictional personas, and they are at once fictional, real, strangers, and all me. 0.5. Chair porn. i intend to recreate a corny porno with chairs. No voice over but just silence, wood creaking, subtitles of furniture delight. 1. This chair porn will have a chair porn creator, dedicated to the point of obsession to creating and documenting the process of creating chair porn. This person becomes an internet staple, akin to Chris Chan and her creation of sonichu. Art born of chronically online shaky mspaint lines and divine magnum opus of a not so sane creator in a constantly exposed online environment. This is genuine. 2. This internet persona and his craft will become a sort of lolcow. A spectacle to watch, analyse and document. Video essays and archives spawn from internet "theorists". Forums discussing this person, informal documentaries (youtube videos), essays. They are now a piece of internet history by no means of their own actions. They may not have been monumental, but they have become a part of the public internet consciousness. One specific video essay is made, going through the entire history of chair porn maker, analysing their practice and work, proposing theories and conspiracies. 3. I, Connor Chen, have strong opinions on this video essay discussing chair porn maker and the legacy of chair porn. I will present my opinion in a lecture theatre, playing the video essay on the screen and pause intermittently to voice my thoughts and objections. 3.5 I will record this and submit it as the final version.

After talking with Harry and figuring most of the stuff above out, he asked me what I was critiquing and I realised not much. I'm not so much critiquing these themes, (the pervasiveness of contemporary social media due to technological advances, or the over exposure of the common man as a result of this, or the fast paced nature of information and media, or the so called internet "theorists" and the archives of information created in the exponentially expanding yet short history of the internet.) as much as I am simply fascinated by them. I cannot really separate myself from this enough to condemn it.

some thoughts below that I can't quite place right now.

Materiality

Performance / Immersion / Suspension of Disbelief / fiction

Irony and humor of the chronically online

absurdist theatre

chair porn - commodity fetishism - what can be fetishized?

exponential lore of the internet

authorship and authority in performance

inspirations / references:

Expanded Cinema essay - Synaesthetic Cinema and Polymorphous Eroticism

Chris Chan and Sonichu

Erik bunger

video essayists (more so tea channels than art analysists)

#project 2 #studio #SCA #research #process #ideas #the expanded field

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kjeffcoatsvad · 2 years

Text

Process Blog Weeks 3 + 4

Over the past couple of weeks, we have been assigned reading from our professor. The book has correlated to the experiences we have in our classroom. The reading this week discussed collaboration and partnering. This is something that rings true in our class. We critique each other, give each other ideas, and ultimately improve each other’s work. Throughout this class thus far, I have received critiques that have improved my work. I have never taken any art or design classes before coming to the university this semester. I’ve never had my artwork critiqued before this, but even though I was nervous at first, my point of view has changed. I’m now excited to show my work and receive feedback. I know now that collaboration is needed to make great designs. You, (the designer) may not see a problem in a work you produced but clients or other designers may notice something you could fix or improve to make your work even better than before.

Project 2

Project 2 was a collaboration project with all 6 sections of ARTS102. This Project centered around learning Adobe Illustrator. We used Illustrator to make 3 5x5 artboards consisting of Abstract letterforms. These artboards would be printed and hung in a collaborative way. We were given a lot of freedom related to font type and size. We could use Google fonts or Adobe fonts for this project. When I started this project, I had a lot of fun experimenting with different fonts. I especially liked a lot of the fonts from Google. I debated awhile what fonts I wanted to use but after some time I decided to do one font for all of my artboards. I choose the font Abril Fatface, from Google Fonts. The bold look of this font stood out to me. I also thought the thin sections of the font in contrast to the bold parts were interesting.

Critique of Project 2, Draft 1

During the initial critique of draft 1 of this project, the initial feedback was pretty positive. The main advice I got was to abstract my letters more to conform to the guidelines of the project. Below is the First Draft.

Changes to Project 2

Changes were made to Artboards 1 & 3 (on the left), but no changes were made to Artboard 2 (on the right). I overall think that the changes I made conformed to the project guidelines better than the first draft. My only regret with this project is Artboard 1. I second-guessed myself in critique and changed the layout of the 'D' and the 'C' on the artboard. I think the original concept was more visually compelling. Looking back I should have cropped into the image instead of changing the layout of my letters. The edited image is shown below.

Printing and finishing Project 2.

After finishing our Artboards, we submitted them to basecamp to have them printed. They were printed in the print lab and given to us in class to cut out with an X-ACTO blade. This part of the assignment was challenging for me, I have never used an X-ACTO blade before. When I went to cut out my first print I did not press hard enough with the blade and it indented the paper instead of cutting through. When I tried to cut it again I lined it up differently and one of the edges on my print ended up uneven. The other two prints look okay, but I need to practice more.

Project 2 prints

Project 2 Concludes

After all of the prints were cut out. All the student in our section of ARTS102 went up to the 3rd floor of the McMaster college and hung their prints on the wall. This project was very interesting in the fact that the overall project depended more upon the whole than the individual. I will definitely be going to check on the project once the other sections hang their prints to see how the Project changes.

Students hanging their prints in McMaster.

Project 2, Pictured 9/14/22

Project 3 Starts

We started project 3 this week. This project's main goal is to develop a voting poster. We were assigned Thumbnails and sketches. Since we discussed our sketches in class, I'm feeling more confident about some of my thumbnails I was originally unsure about. This weekend I am planning to explore some of my options digitally. My thumbnails and sketches are shown below.

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 years

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I’m trying to be better about responding to things, so another small ask response post! I feel like the answers are short enough to not actually require putting a ‘read more’ but I ended up doing it anyway just because I have no idea what the standards for length are and I don’t want people to get mad or something lol.. (responses under read more)

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(note: I’m not going to write the questions completely as they were asked/shown in images above, just type summaries of them since that’s faster, so this is why the text varies)

1. “do you have any goals for the coming new year?”

gHHgg, mostly the same goals as last year since of course I didn’t get everything done lol. Mainly I want to: finish my game, finish the information on the Avirre’thel and a few other worldbuilding posts, make more sculptures (5 this year), and do at least like... 10 costumes this year (since I’ve kind of been ignoring that stuff to focus on other projects, but I still enjoy it and have ideas!). Some of my goals in therapy are to leave the house at least once every 2 weeks without panicking and find friends in my area to play board-games with/do creative things with/etc. in person, but those are kind of less in my control (me being able to go places is somewhat dependent on the schedules of those around me, finding friends is a matter of luck and coming across the right people at the right time, etc.).

Mostly I just really want to get the gourddamned game and worldbuilding stuff done since those have been longer projects, and I’m always getting new ideas for stuff I COULD work on before I’m even done with older things lol. In my head I’m already planning the elven religion and things happening far in other corners of Nanyevimi and it’s like “we’re not even DONE with the vampires yet!!!", as well as already having like 2 new games I could make (one of which I really like the idea of and have already nearly completely planned against my will, like my brain just keeps shooting information at me while I’m trying to focus on other stuff ghgh), some animations and a bunch of other things and it’s like oghHH... blease.. Finish Something for once before mentally checking out and moving onto the next hundred ideas you fool

(also I told myself I can’t play any games until I finish my own (aside from like, sims builds on occasion) so I especially want to get it done soon since I always feel sick in the summer (no matter how much water I drink or how cool I try to stay, I’m just really heat sensitive and don’t live in a place with air conditioning) and sitting around and playing games while I’m deliriously exhausted / nauseous / have constant heat headaches is a prime summer activity lol)

2. “do you know where to get a witch hat?”

Unfortunately I have no idea where to get a witch hat lol, aside from maybe the costume aisle of stores around halloween?? (and even then, usually they only come in black). I’ve made sloppy ones myself by like, hot-gluing stuff to a regular hat, but I’ve never actually bought one. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to list them in the replies or something so maybe anon can find where to get one lol

3. “can i use your costumes as inspiration for drawings/what social media should I credit you with?”

It’s fine to use my costumes and etc. as inspirations for art/etc! If you’re posting it on instagram it could be easier to just link my instagram since that’s on the same platform, but really it doesn’t matter to me. As I evolve into more of a hermit wizard I lose social media literacy and don’t understand which accounts are best to link people to or what social media is currently most popular lol

4. “do you watch Worldbuilding Notes on youtube?”

I actually hadn’t before (basically all I watch on youtube are like... video game/fantasy media lore analysis/information videos, general educational channels/documentaries/lectures, leftist video essays, and like.. the occasional let’s plays of games I can’t afford (if I can manage to find gaming youtubers who aren’t insufferable ggh). But weirdly I haven’t really looked into much worldbuilding content?? despite that being something I focus on so much (and also that I watch conlanging and linguistics stuff, which often seems to intersect with writing/worldbuilding youtube)), but thanks for recommending them! The concepts presented seem very interesting!

I always really really wish I could condense information and make clear concise videos like that (audience wise, probably way preferable to just writing long text posts), but I just have such an inherent inability to make brief points (aka why no matter how good I was at a subject in school, I’d still fail/barely pass any essay/long form answer assignments.. I just.. can NOT organize my thoughts for the life of me for some reason). The best I could do is a more rambling podcast style lore explanation thing where I just speak naturally about stuff, but that seems like that’d still be nearly just as weird as long text posts, since I tend to ramble and be very silly when I speak lol, so currently I just don’t know of a more concise and accessible way to present my world information. :V But anyway, thanks for suggesting it! The videos seem really cool, I like the ideas I’ve seen so far, and mostly am just in awe of their sheer power and expert ability to like... present detailed information in such a neat/clean/cohesive way aaaaAA (like.. the exact opposite of me but in a good way lol)

And that’s all for this short group of replies lol! I still have other things in my inbox and etc. to reply to so sorry if I haven’t got to yours yet, I just wanted to get a few quick ones out of the way!!

#replies #I'm actually making okay progress on the game stuff but I think the last parts (like.. finding people to test it out and etc) will be where #it really drags out and takes longer than I expected. Also it looks like I will finish stuff about the elven religion before even finishing #all the posts about the Avirre'thel because I already have the infromation on the elven relaigion nearly done gghhh #jumping ahead again... But I've been sick for like a week now and haven't been able to do much so doing the images of the elven #gods are a good mindless task like.. put on videos in the background and just color in lines or etc. I also have I think 4 worldbuilding #posts in the art blog drafts right now that I'm like 98% done with each so I can post those soon #AGAIN that's my problem.. I like.. start one thing.. and then by the time thing A is 50% done I already have thing B which I start #then thing A is 60% done and thing B is 20% done and now a thing C is 10% done. then I end up having like.. literally NO actually #cOMPLETE projects.. but a bunch of ongoing ones. It's like I'm constantly doing work but never actually FINISHING anything. whcih in turn #mkes me feel like I'm NOT doing work since i never see any tangible progress or completion. which demotivates me and makes #me feel bad an unproductive despite the fact that I am indeed constantly doing things ghhh. But anyway! I have like 4-5 worldbuulding posts #that I'll probably end up finishing all around the same time. And like 8 outfit photos I've had sitting on my computer for months but never #posted. and i also have 2 costumes laid out that I want to do but have to wait until I'm not sick anymore lol #then hopefully after that I can just drop almost all my other projects and over-focus on just doing the game again. At least those are #my january 2019 goals lol.. finish all the random 75% finished tasks that I have looming around all at once and then finally get back #on track with my more primary focus task.#Also I think I have seen worldbuilding notes's videos like.. recommended to me but I just never looked at them? since now that I'm #browsing some of the thumbnails like the art style seems familiar and etc. But I'm currently not getting recommended worldbuilding videos or #anything like that. I've been watching like.. video game developer conference speakers and I watched a single film analysis video so #now all of my reccomendations are like weird gaming youtubers and 45 munute video essays about the themes in the little mermaid movie or etc #ghgh.. youtube is very strange and has an interesting algorithm.. I love thinking about youtube since it was one of the first websites I was #really into when I was younger and first strated using computers and have been regularly checking in there on and off since #like mid or late 2006 i think #so I've seen like.. the rise and fall of so many different trends and eras and like.. back before anyone even had 1million subscribers and #everyone like knew all the top youtubers and etc. and people just doing shitty skits in their bedrooms and etc. and it's just really interes #ting (if not like.. a bit sad to see how it is now) to see the development and how things change so much. people who have stuck around #and those who have left or trends that went away and etc. idk.. I Just Think It's Neat #anyway though!!! those are some questions answered.. hopefuly I can keep up with them better this year!

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