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2kiran · 10 months

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“ GMFU ”

pairing keegan p. russ x reader genre smut gn reader. dom!reader x sub!keegan cw lowercase typing. violence. injured keegan. bondage. handjob. pain kink. hint of overstimulation. ( credits to this edit & to the creator. )

who could’ve thought keegan would enjoy being helpless?

a previous mission went haywire, enemy combatants ambushing your team. the fight was a clash of blood, sweat, and lost of lives. one of the members of the opposing team captured keegan undetected, muffled yells falling on unhearing eardrums. his absence only noticed once you and your team reached the evacuation point. the seconds ticked by, and they eventually led to a week.

it took a toll on you the most, the lack of sleep making you clumsy with even the slightest of movements. however, no longer having to worry, his location was found. the man kept in an abandoned building in a seemingly ghost town. you insisted on going alone, for you were one of the strongest and most agile in the team. your skill caused you to easily enter the building, the guards’ necks weeping of red as they laid on the floor. you were mad and concerned, barely sleeping in a wink. it was a blur – difficult to determine the events that occurred as it was a rush of blood and hurried feet.

and there he was, keegan in all of his glory, bound to a chair. surprisingly, he still had his mask planted to his head. the only difference being that it was lifted above his lips, mouth occupied by a cloth. he struggled against the ropes, yet to no avail. freezing in your tracks, unguarded hungry eyes raked over his form. keegan was stripped of his shirt, muscular body adorned with scars bled with fresh ones. his sweat created a thick sheen, the liquid illuminated by the dim light. he was angry, for sure, but he looked so good like this. he tugged at the ropes again, and that movement snapped you out of your trance.

“sorry.” you mumble, approaching the bound man. he said something that you were unable to decipher, syllables muffled by the fabric. he was against the wall, causing you to loom over him just to reach the ropes. his furrowed eyebrows peeked underneath his balaclava as he looked up at you. the ropes didn’t budge, and it only rubbed on his sensitive skin more. another batch of words left him, and from what you could tell, they were of curses. the metal chair was heavy and with his weight, you could barely move it.

“ghffg— gghh!” he spoke through the fabric, shoulders tense. “fggnng!” he keened, as your arm accidentally rubbed against a healing wound. the sound that left him seemed more pleasurable than painful. you inspected his form in concern, “you okay?” his eyes connected with yours and was that— desperation?

grabbing your knife from your pocket, you tried cutting the ropes with it but they were too thick. “fuckin’ hell...” you grumbled, frustrated with the current situation. he grunted as the twisted strands served him even more harm. and yet, it definitely wasn’t in pain this time. something stood out from your peripheral vision and you glanced at—

oh.

an imprint strained against his pants and his head lowered, following your gaze. he was turned on. “keegan,” you called, uncertain. your thoughts were stupid. of course they were. fucking your superior in the enemy’s territory? were you insane? despite your self-awareness, he nodded. the movement of his head quick enough to make you believe he’d suffer of whiplash. “are you sure? i mean, we are, you know, and you’re hurt, and—” your ramble was cut off as he spat into the fabric, similar to a frustrated command.

his face was flushed in embarrassment, eyes almost dazed. he wanted – bluntly needed – you. trembling hands grabbed his belt, taking it off and toying with the zipper. he made a noise, and you could faintly make it out as a ‘please’. you slid off his pants, leaving him in his boxers. a small, wet spot stained the fabric. finally, you pulled it off to reveal his aching cock. a steady bead of pre-cum dotting its slit as he bucked his hips upwards into the air. wrapping your gloved fingers around his shaft, he groaned.

this was insane. neither of you nor him should do this, yet it felt right despite the paranoia of getting caught. years of tension between the two of you dissipating as you tantalizingly stroke his cock, working him up to his climax so, so fucking slowly. he wanted to beg, but both his ego and the cloth in his mouth prevented him to do so. “ungfh, gghg, mmng,” he moaned, even the makeshift gag couldn’t prevent his needy sounds from escaping. “plea– nnnghhh.” his cock twitched as you traced the veins, spreading the pre. heavy pants left his nose, head tilting back. “eyes on me.” you commanded, unable to keep yourself from displaying your own authority while he was vulnerable.

reluctantly, he looked into your eyes. he already looked so fucked out and you’ve barely started. he let out a pained grunt that caused you to slow down even more, much to his disappointment. his muscles flexed whilst one of his wounds stretched. he shook his head repeatedly as you tried taking your hand away, pushing himself forward as invitation. he whined so prettily, skin red with gashes.

he liked the pain.

“no fuckin’ way,” your concerns were melting away as you discovered something that should be unnerving, “you’re into this?” you asked, running your finger along one of the smaller cuts. his breath hitched and his cock throbbed, confirming your suspicion. gently, you pressed your finger into it. just enough to inflict a spark of hurt. he whimpered, high-pitched and uncharacteristic of him. you dug your thumb into his slit, his body quivering and his teeth biting down on his tongue. your glove was slick with his own fluid, and it makes you think he came already. abruptly, you sped up your pace. the sound of leather rubbing against sensitive skin interrupting the silence of the room. “hmmnggh!” he squealed, tension surrounding his body. his eyes were unfocused, nearly crossing, even.

his head light from the intoxicating combination of pain and pleasure. unexpectedly, you roughly grazed a recent wound and he came, from that. pearly, thick ropes of cum coated your hand. you leaned in, dragging your tongue up to his tip. the muffled sounds of his throaty groans and the taste of his already spent cock interrupted your senses. an addiction that you couldn’t cure.

a breathless whine left him, your warm tongue leading him to tremble against the ropes. he was so sensitive, and you worsened his state by giving an experimental lick at the underside of his tip. your hand continued its quick ascend and descend, fingers curled tightly around his length. enough to give him stimulation, but not enough for him to reach another high. “sweetheart, please,” he muttered through the cloth, his legs threatening to close around your own like he couldn’t decide between pushing you away or making you help find his release, “want to, mmph, cum.”

you were ready to give into his request until your radio crackled with life,

“have you found keegan?”

he groaned in annoyance while you huffed. your hand leaving his throbbing cock to answer the question of your teammate, “yes. fourth floor, third room to the left. the ropes are too thick, my knife can’t cut it,” you replied, static reaching both of your ears and keegan’s, “copy that. any injuries sustained?” you glanced at keegan’s form and he returned the gaze with pleading eyes, “he’s got a few. need to take him to the infirmary.” your free hand worked him up, in a hurry. he bit into the cloth to suppress his moans and whines as he felt another climax approaching. your teammate replied,

“on our way.”

you can’t possibly leave him all denied of his sweet release. that would be too cruel of you. then again, the seconds are ticking away, yet the tent in his pants would be too obvious. so help him like the good teammate you are, yeah?

masterlist

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adamprrishcycle · 1 year

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I support everything adam parrish does. Even the weird shit like sacrificing himself to a magic forest, scamming people for fake psychic readings even though he is in fact psychic and falling in love with an ancient, sentient horror who is stuck inside the body of an irish-american catholic teenager with a shaved head

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dovesick · 4 months

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no more stars

#animal art #animal illustration #artists on tumblr #illustration #comic art #i made another comic kinda like the other one #they’re fun to create #this is for an art trade with vossanova on ig #pls go check out her work it’s amazing #she drew my character & she wanted a jackalope in return #she was inspired by my style & i was inspired by her celestial animals #still p blown away by the response to my other comic #thank u all <3 #also a few ppl think i am an artist that did a borzoi comic #sorry but that wasn’t me! i’m guessing someone else out there makes similar comics #would love to see it if you can find it. borzois are fuckin sick :D

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painfully-unoriginal · 1 year

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okaaayy

#my art #doodles #dan vs #the bad guys #sam and max #pinky and the brain #ren and stimpy #this brush is rly rly fun to scribble with so thats p much what ive been doing #my favorite genre of fictional character is horrible unhinged little men #varying degrees of unhinged depicted here #anyway ya. it feels good to mindlessly scribble u kno #esp before work. helps w my nerves #crossover

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anonymouscheeses · 12 days

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They are everything to me.

#hyperixating on THESE two is kinda painful. like wdym half the fandom doesnt like them. they are so awesome??? sickos...#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel charlie #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin charlie #vaggie #hazbin hotel vaggie #vaggatha #hazbin vaggie #charlie x vaggie #vaggie x charlie #hazbin #chaggie #rainbowmoth #varlie #fallenstar #its always the wlw ships too. like wdym yall d ride mlm??? it be the 12 yr old girls too 😒 /hj #charlie ass? yes pls. also yes i gave charlie a tail. i always give random characters tails if i think they deserve it #i think..... i think im getting better at anatomy guys 😨 (im delulu)#definitely better than my first chaggie posts if yall remember that 😭 oh how i have improved for real... maybe ill make a improvement post #i jst wanted to draw ass bro. i know thats not how psnts work #i want tjem both to be so in love eith eachother that it makes me sick. genuinely please let them be such freaks rhat it makes ne bleed #also can i jst saw how annoying those shoulder pads are?? WHY DO ALL THE MEN + CHARLIE HAVE THEM. MAKE HER DIFFERENG SHES THE MC???#omg i just noticed it looks like shes grinding on her knee. ignore that. but maybe she is who knows?? 😝#dynamic pose test. i think its alroght but i still have stuff to improve... im practing 😈#ugh i just want more charlie being madly in love with Vaggie. not you guys. you guys are doing great mwa mwa /p but i mean the show! like #wheres charlie being lovey to vaggie?? shes literally the embodiment of love why cant she show idk... MORE to vaggie? i 💜 chaggie but... ☹️#gay people make me sick /j #yes. charlie IS lovey to Vaggie.. but.... idk its not to the life sacrificing extent like vaggie does? idk maybe i want fan service like 🤨#OH like charlie going demon mode for vaggie. FINALE DONT COUNT. she already was demon mode. i need vaggie almost DEAD and char swoops in id

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kabutoden · 3 months

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I'm just now starting to get into homestuck (I'm just starting act 4) and.. I like your bugs.. I have a question about olive bloods

If Nepeta is a caterpillar and Meulin is based on a luna moth, are all olive bloods resemblant of moth species, or are they also resemblant of butterfly species?

Honestly, I’ve drawn a few fantrolls at this point. Having looked at the CANNON olive caste, none of them really feel fragile, pretty or precious enough to be butterflies, they all got a chunky down-to-earthness that I think suits moths more, especially with their earthy colors and troll’s nocturnal lifestyle. My species choices has a big thing to do with themes and vibes, so if the vibes suit a guy you got go for it B] Because a lot of bug species I like aren’t included in the original 12 designs I made, there’s room within a caste for more than one bug species. Think about it this way: All moths are green bloods, but not all green bloods are moths. Maybe there’s a grasshopper or junebug greenblood out there!

#Technically the wooly bear caterpillar isn’t even a caterpillar #all the best fuzzy caterpillars become moths which makes them worms. But my pun doesn’t work that way so fuck it!! It’s not super serious p #Enjoy act 5 #that’s my favorite! I haven’t read homestuck entirely in like a decade #but I’ve been checking segments to refresh myself on character details #bugstuck #homestuck #buggy trolls #ask #nepeta leijon #meulin leijon

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angelsdean · 7 months

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I need people to understand how S&P (standards and practices) works in television and how much influence they have over what gets to stay IN an episode of a show and how the big time network execs are the ones holding the purse strings and making final decisions on a show's content, not the writers / showrunners / creatives involved.

So many creators have shared S&P notes over the years of the wild and nonsensical things networks wanted them to omit / change / forbid. Most famously on tumblr, I've seen it so many times, is the notes from Gravity Falls. But here's a post compiling a bunch of particularly bad ones from various networks too. Do you see the things they're asking to be changed / cut ?

Now imagine, anything you want to get into your show and actually air has to get through S&P and the network execs. A lot of creators have had to resort to underhanded methods. A lot of creators have had to relegate things to subtext and innuendo and scenes that are "open to interpretation" instead of explicit in meaning. Things have had to be coded and symbolized. And they're relying on their audience to be good readers, good at media literacy, to notice and get it. This stuff isn't the ramblings of conspiracy theorists, it's the true practices creatives have had to use to be able to tell diverse stories for ages. The Hays Code is pretty well known, it exists because of censorship. It was a way to symbolize certain things and get past censors.

Queercoding, in particular, has been used for ages in both visual media and literature do signal to queer audiences that yes, this character is one of us, but no, we can't be explicit about it because TPTB won't allow it. It's a wink-wink, nudge-nudge to those in the know. It's the deliberate use of certain queer imagery / clothing / mannerisms / phrases / references to other queer media / subtle glances and lingering touches. Things that offer plausible deniability and can be explained away or go unnoticed by straight audiences to get past those network censors. But that queer viewers WILL (hopefully) pick up on.

Because, unfortunately, still to this day, a lot of antiquated network execs don't think queer narratives are profitable. They don't think they'll appeal to general audiences, because that's what matters, whatever appeals to most of the audience demographic so they can keep watching and keep making the network more money. The networks don't care about telling good stories! Most of them are old white cishet business men, not creatives. They don't care about character arcs and what will make fans happy. They don't care about storytelling. What they care about is profit and they're basing their ideas of what's profitable on what they believe is the predominate target demographic, usually white cis heterosexual audiences.

So, imagine a show that started airing in the early 2000s. Imagine a show where the two main characters are based on two characters from a famous Beat Generation novel, where one of the characters is queer! based on a real like bisexual man! The creator is aware of this, most definitely. And sure, it's 2005, there's no way they were thinking of making that explicit about Dean in the text because it just wouldn't fly back then to have a main character be queer. But! it's made subtext. And there are nods to that queerness placed in the text. Things that are open to interpretation. Things that are drenched in metaphor (looking at you 1x06 Skin "I know I'm a freak" "maybe this thing was born human but was different...hated. Until he learned to become someone else.") Things that are blink-and-you-miss-it and left to plausible deniability (things like seemingly spending an hour in the men's bathroom, or always reacting a little vulnerable and awkward when you're clocked instead of laughing it off and making a homophobic joke abt it)

And then, years later there's a ship! It's popular and at first the writers aren't really seriously thinking about it but they'll throw the fans a bone here and there. Then, some writers do get on the destiel train and start actively writing scenes for them that are suggestive. And only a fraction of what they write actually makes it into the text. So many lines left on the cutting room floor: i love past you. i forgive you i love you. i lost cas and it damn near broke me. spread cas's ashes alone. of course i wanted you to stay. if cas were here. -- etc. Everything cut was not cut by the writers! Why would a writer write something to then sabotage their own story and cut it? No, these are things that didn't make it past the network. Somewhere a note was made maybe "too gay" or "don't feed the shippers" or simply "no destiel."

So, "no destiel." That's pretty clearly the message we got from the CW for years. "No destiel. Destiel will alienate our general audience. Two of our main characters being queer? And in a relationship? No way." So what can the pro-destiel creatives involved do, if the network is saying no? What can the writers do if most of their explicit destiel (or queer dean) lines / moments are getting cut? Relegate things to subtext. Make jokes that straight people can wave off but queer people can read into. Make costuming and set design choices that the hardcore fans who are already looking will notice while the general audience and the out-of-touch network execs won't blink and eye at (I'm looking at you Jerry and your lamps and disappearing second nightstands and your gay flamingo bar!)

And then, when the audience asks, "is destiel real? is this proof of destiel?" what can the creatives do but deny? Yes, it hurts, to be told "No no I don't know what you're talking about. There's no destiel in supernatural" a la "there is no war in Ba Sing Se" but! if the network said "no destiel!" and you and your creative team have been working to keep putting destiel in the subtext of the narrative in a way that will get past censors, you can't just go "Yes, actually, all that subtext and symbolism you're picking up, yea it's because destiel is actually in the narrative."

But, there's a BIG difference between actively putting queer themes and subtext into the narrative and then saying it's not there (but it is! and the audience sees it!) versus NOT putting any queer content into the text but SAYING it is there to entice queer fans to continue watching. The latter, is textbook queerbaiting. The former? Is not. The former is the tactics so many creatives have had to use for years, decades, centuries, to get past censorship and signal to those in the know that yea, characters like you are here, they exist in this story.

Were the spn writers perfect? No, absolutely not. And I don't think every instance of queer content was a secret signal. Some stuff, depending on the writer, might've been a period-typical gay joke. These writers are flawed. But it's no secret that there were pro-destiel writers in the writing room throughout the years, and that efforts were made to make it explicitly canon (the market research!)

So no, the writers weren't ever perfect or a homogeneous entity. But they definitely were fighting an uphill battle constantly for 15 yrs against S&P and network execs with antiquated ideas of what's profitable / appealing.

Spn even called out the networks before, on the show, using a silly example of complaints abt the lighting of the show and how dark the early seasons were. Brightening the later seasons wasn't a creative choice, but a network choice. And if the networks can complain abt and change something as trivial as the lighting of a show, they definitely are having a hand in influencing the content of the show, especially queer content.

Even in s15, (seasons fifteen!!!) Misha has said he worried Castiel's confession would not air. In 2020!!! And Jensen recorded that scene on his personal phone! Why? Sure, for the memories. But also, I do not doubt for a second that part of it was for insurance, should the scene mysteriously disappear completely. We've seen the finale script. We've seen the omitted omitted omitted scenes. We all saw how they hacked the confession scene to bits. The weird cuts and close-ups. That's not the writers doing. That's likely not even the editors (willingly). That's orders from on high. All of the fuckery we saw in s15 reeks of network interference. Writers are not trying to sabotage their own stories, believe me.

Anyways, TLDR: Networks have a lot more power than many think and they get final say in what makes it to air. And for years creative teams have had to find ways to get past network censorship if they want "banned" or "unapproved" "unprofitable" "unwanted" content to make it into the show. That means relying on techniques like symbolism, subtext, and queercoding, and then shutting up about it. Denying its there, saying it's all "open to interpretation" all while they continue to put that open to interpretation content into the show. And that's not queerbaiting, as frustrating as it might be for queer audiences to be told that what they're seeing isn't there, it's still not queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is a marketing technique to draw in queer fans by baiting them with the promise of queer content and then having no queer content in said media. But if you are picking up on queer themes / subtext / symbolism / coding that is in front of your face IN the text, that's not queerbaiting. It's there, covertly, for you, because someone higher up didn't want it to be there explicitly or at all.

#long post #LONG-ass post #but it needed to be said!#i'm sorry if you think every creative involved with spn was a braindead asshole but the thing is.#even the most mediocre of writers understands a thing or two abt symbolism and writers working in TV are plagued by S&P #countless writers have talked abt the S&P bullshit and having to tweak and edit down their work to get past censors #it's a reality of writing for television #and the people who understand all this and understand the context of making TV in the early 2000s (to present tbh!) aren't 'delusional'#i'm sorry but it's naive to think that queer stories and queer characters are free to be told even nowadays. it's still a constant battle #times have changed but unfortunately not as much as you'd think #the confession !!!!! the confession still struggled to air and what we got was so obviously hacked down to bits!!!!!!#how can anyone think getting destiel content into the show was ever easy?#how can anyone think the pro-destiel writers weren't constantly having to be careful and underhanded in their writing?#there's a reason queercoding and subtext exist and it's this!!! it's censorship from TPTB #anyways. people much older than me have been talking abt this for ages. younger fans who are used to more open queer rep need to understand #it hasn't always been that easy and even nowadays SO many networks are still not willing to take a risk on queer stories #so creators do what they can #vic.txt

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randomminty · 2 years

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Just a buncha cynthias

#some of these look out of character but eh #pokemon #art tag #champion cynthia #i draw cynthia so much shes so fun to draw. illl never know how her hair works that wont stop me #ive started watching a bunch of the pokemon anime even though i never liked it before. MAN i was missing out #i mostly just tuned in to see it butched my fav characters but thats the completely wrong mindset to watch it in #ive been watching as somewhat separate to the games and its so much fun #and the dub…… its good but so unintentionally funny #i didnt care abt alain but after seeing him go MEGA EVAAAOLVE like 5 times in the mega special i adore him #if i dont see miarin in the anime again ill cry i miss her #last thing about the anime for now i forgot they kept lances old va for journeys #im used to his pokemas and generations voice which is p different so that was funny. leons journeys va is so good too #ANYWAYS CYNTHIA. cried when i saw her again in journeys. shes so cool

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willaro · 2 months

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Speed sketch

Rand is so EXTREMELY SLAY💅💅💅💅

#art #digital art #sketch #character art #digital artist #monsters inc #monsters at work #monsters university #humanization #mi #mu #maw #randall boggs #james p sullivan #mike wazowski #celia mae

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moeblob · 3 months

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She can transform into a dragon and then falls in love with a man on a mission to slay all the dragons he finds. Who then begins to travel with her brother and his friend and keeps hearing about how "my sister could kick your ass" and he tries to keep his sister away from the dragon slayer because that's a risk he won't take.

Then the sister ends up marrying the dragon slayer.

The end.

#my characters #i am working on fanart but not enough energy to finish the stupid thing so you guys get ocs today #dragon slayer is actually ex-royalty and isnt anymore simply because his entire kingdom was destroyed by dragons #when he was young and after that he just got consumed by the need to make sure it never happened to anyone else #he lost his entire family and the entire population and lost hope in fate p much #then he starts traveling with mr national geographic on dragons and eventually meets his sister #while she is in dragon form and the guy bs's uhhhh this is the family messenger dragon! means no harm!#she was just leaving in fact !!! and then the family messenger dragon reappears to save the trio and looks really smug about it #so the dragon slayer is like fine your family dragon gets a pass #and he meets her in human form a few times but it doesnt really register that shes the dragon #and when he watches her change for the first time hes like oh thats why you think she could kick my ass #anyway she falls in love at first sight so yeehaw it works out #and final note is the brother is named vikrahm and her name is shilva while dragon slayer is #simply dubbed pops by their friend adlyn and then dubbed old man by vik #bc he wont reveal his name

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secondary-colorentimy · 5 months

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kitty for ur troubles

#fanart #twisted wonderland #twst #twst x sonic #vil schoenheit #doin som uhhh #weird sonic pose idk :P #sonic characters always be doing poses #guys i may not be drawing it but i be thinking about this au all da time #i stopped drawing it as much cause i dont WANNA rn 😞#also hypothetically i may be working finally on opening a shop #sooo super unfocussd on sonjcss

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beescake · 5 months

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found some old tweets frm my private diary acc logging errant thoughts i had while getting into hs

and well. smth abt the progression of it makes me emo. happy new year ig :')

#srry misleading opening img. i am actually asian #homestuck #2024 #vioart #karkat vantas #dave strider #sollux captor #davekat #ok ya i did cry a little #esp since these were like. littered here n there btwn vents of struggling w mental health executive dysfunction assignments etcetc #so it was kind of (a lot of) cope. but id say it worked well considering im now here livin my online cringe life :)))#took me super late in the year to actually join the fandom tho so theres a huge gap of absence and my tweets p much ended there #my final tweet was “captor fans 🤝 trekkies” hgehe it makes me kick feets to see those fandoms crossposting on blr :)))))#but aye these are just the tweets relevant to the lore behind my fanart the rest is for me to keep priv...#esp the character tier list! 2nd half of that had to be redacted for my protection LMAO

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becauseplot · 9 months

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Penciled Lines

(Cross-posted on ao3, if you prefer to read it there. Reblogs still appreciated!)

Missa wakes up, and he thinks he might be doomed. This doesn’t scare him nearly as much as it should.

Missa is awake early—by his own metric, anyway. His nocturnal nature causes “early” for him to mean “early night” and not “early morning.” Regardless, “early” means that Philza is not asleep yet, still going through his nightly rituals. “Early” means that Philza is sitting up in (his? their?) the bed, pillows propped up behind him, notebook in his lap, sketching away.

And when Missa wakes up to the soft scritch-scratch of a charcoal pencil on textured paper, his forehead just so happens to be brushing Philza’s hip.

Missa can hardly breathe.

Oh no.

He knows that if he gives any indication that he is awake, Philza will stop sketching, close his notebook, shift himself over until he is politely seated on his side of the bed, and greet Missa with a friendly smile. Philza has done it before, when Missa wakes up early. That’s how Missa knows he’ll do it again.

Thus, Missa can hardly breathe—his breaths have to be the slow in-out of sleep. He can’t so much as twitch, either. He has to keep quiet and play dead or else he’ll be found out. Seen. Caught living the lie.

“Husband,” Philza calls him. They’re not married. They share a bed. They’re hardly ever in it at the same time. They have a son and a daughter. Neither of them know Missa very well. Philza has had an extra set of armor and a skull on his backpack for months, waiting for Missa. Missa doesn’t even know Philza’s last name.

Philza is a good man and a good friend—and Missa doesn't deserve him. Still, he takes what he can get. Curls around it. Hoarding every innocent kindness Philza extends like a starving creature: the generosity of a backpack fully stocked with equipment; the trust Philza places in Missa to watch the kids when he’s asleep; and now, the courtesy of not moving his hip from Missa’s forehead to ensure his “sleeping” isn’t disturbed. Missa clutches all of these little offerings in his greedy claws and hugs them into his chest, even as the guilt eats away at him.

Because, regardless of the lack of mutual feeling, he loves Philza. He loves him so, so much, and that is why he is doomed. He can’t afford to lose what little he has. He can’t cross that line.

So Missa lies beside Philza, forehead pressed against Philza’s hip, pretending to sleep so he can imagine that they’re not just lying in bed together, but lying in bed, together; and later, when Missa truly wakes, he will sit on his side of the bed and look at Philza’s face soft with sleep and think about how lucky he is that he still has a side-of-the-bed to begin with.

Missa doesn’t mean to drift off. When it starts to happen, he’s hopelessly torn between shaking himself awake and thus giving himself away, or remaining how he is, silently fending off the inevitable. In the end, Missa clings to that scritch-scratch sound of Philza’s pencil on the paper for as long as he can before the fog at last pulls him under.

Eventually, he dreams. In fact, he dreams of the calloused fingers he dreams of every night, hands like his own, an artist of Death, cradling and shading the contours of his face—a softness dashing charcoal across his jaw, and over his cheekbones, and perhaps on his lips, too, if he’s lucky. Defining every edge of him.

~*~

A deep sigh. Phil stops sketching as Missa shifts in his sleep. He tilts his head up so that the tip of his nose is now just nearly brushing against Phil’s hip. The motion disturbs the wild splay of his dark hair, revealing more of his face: eyelashes, cheeks, warmth. Tender blush of something Stygian and otherworldly. New.

Phil’s lips tilt upwards. He turns to a fresh page, and he starts again.

#qsmp #pissa #qsmpshipping #qsmp missa #qsmp philza #i hesitate to put main character tags bc it's shipping content but i think we're all p much okay with that?? we chill??? we chill thumbsup #my fics #ficlet #anyway would you believe me if i told you this took me a week to write. hhourgh.#i'll prolly make small edits as time goes by if i dont scrap this version entirely.#i really like it rn but we'll see how i feel abt it in like a couple hours or a day. the sheer number of times ive rewritten this hhhhh.#this little character/relationship study is primarily for me to try to work them out in my head.#so if this doesnt quite hit the exact vibe you know why.#im still getting acquainted w missa's character but i gotta start somewhere ya know #i didnt actually get to explore missa's feelings of inferiority as much as i wanted to but thats bc i found trying to tackle that As Well-#-as everything else saddled the fic/setting w too many Things and made it cumbersome and muddied the story being told.#so another time perhaps.#anyway i adore them. beloveds.

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