Rating all of Dream’s historical looks in The Sandman
Because I’m bored, sleep deprived and now suddenly hyper caffeinated in an airport at 4am. So it’s unlikely to be coherent.
Mostly about his hair (but also his outfits).
I’m a sandman simp so even the lowest of scores are still kinda high 😉
1389:
I just-
Dream, babe… wHY
I don’t think the transition in the show helped
Just focussed on his face while the hair and everything else changed around him
But
It’s not great
I mean he’s still Tom Sturridge and he’s still got a (very high) baseline hotness
But we’re quite close to that baseline rn I’m sorry hon
He looks like Noel fielding I can’t unsee it
Also his long sleeves cut diagonally are just hilarious to me
-5/10
1489:
He looks like a goth dad
Like softcore goth single dad coming to pick their son up from school
Could be kinda wholesome if he tried
Definite bisexual vibes
(Esp w that lil smile to Hob, that just confirms it)
Looks like he has a purse
And the only thing in that purse is eye liner
And a my chemical romance cd
Shirt sleeves permanently rolled up
His forearms are his one (1) flirting technique
Other than that he’s hopeless
Elegant Noel fielding now
Is that… is he wearing a cardigan???
9.5/10
1589:
90% hair gel 10% leather daddy
Fully up to the neck
Good lil catholic boy protecting his modesty
Like he was heavily into bdsm previously then found god but didn’t wanna give up his entire wardrobe
Ok maybe he still does it (I’ve ready your fics I know what he’s like)
He looks like a twink version of andrew lincoln here don’t @ me
Also he’s never looked more angry than in this
Hair is ok but looks like he wanted to experiment with short hair but said fuck that and immediately went the other direction
Now thinking of leather clad Christian borle slutty bi shakespeare in something rotten
He would’ve absolutely tried to fuck the lord of dreams (and probably succeeded)
Dear lord
5/10
1689:
MAJOR INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE VIBES
Esp with the throne like chair he’s in
Ngl actually really like it
Bet his hair is really soft…
And just his face looks so soft in this too
His genuine compassion for Hob surprising even him
I feel like red lipstick would enhance the look
FUCK
And I’m sure he has begrudgingly let Desire style the long hair
Grumbling the entire time
But a week later he’s following all their hair care tips to the letter
13/10
1789:
THAT. LIL. BOW.
Definitely one of Desire’s ideas
They probably gave him a whole colourful array of choices for hair accessories
But then was pissed off when all he chose was a black satin bow
“Brother, darling, really? Of course, I love your aesthetic… but really?”
He looks like Dick Turpin.
He’s an emo pirate.
YARR HARR
He could shiver my timbers
I don’t know why I love this look so much
He just looks so put together
And gay
Slutty gay
50/10
1889:
Hair is a bit basic again (sorry my boy please forgive me I love you)
(I guess it’s cuz I know the beauty of what is coming next…)
So it doesn’t hit the same
But I certainly love his baby steps into the world of short hair
I’m a whore for a suit so I’m here for that
Also just general respect to morpheus changing his look with the times (and as human culture changes) instead of staying stuck with his original look since the dawn of time
Flexible king *wink wonk*
Can picture him sat in a leather armchair by a fire sipping on red wine and reading a book (or brooding after his breakup)
7/10
NOW:
My god
I just-
FUCK
SO HOT
Honestly in love with this man
THE HAIR. SO FLUFFY.
And the soft black clothes underneath that fucking trench coat.
Goddamn I want that trench coat.
Like fuck all of dream’s tools, I’m coming for the coat.
And Dream himself…
I don’t know if it’s just the fact this is his main look and it’s the one I’ve been staring at for hours
But I do love this look so much
So otherworldly
Transcends time and space
The comfort of it whilst also being his uniform
Like it can be super intimidating
But he’s also able to relax when he sits down with Hob
He looks so happy omg I’m gonna cry
A modern emo goth (with the occasional feeling)
Fuck me…
Please
100/10
Feel free to tell me I’m wrong in the replies, I frequently am ;)
P.S. Tom Sturridge i love you king and you’re beautiful no matter how you look xx
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shoes in FMA rated on how comfortable they'd be to fight in
Edward Elric
considering Ed's uhhh very distinct taste in aesthetics, these could be a lot worse. they look relatively comfortable and don't seem like they'd be difficult to move around in. they are platforms though, which I imagine makes things more difficult. I'll be generous and give these a 7/10
Most of the Amestrian military
pretty much everyone in uniform wears the same shoes, so I'm lumping them all together. these are Roy's, if that matters. they look fine. I imagine that because it is part of a military uniform, it's designed to be moved around in and worn for hours on end, so ideally they're relatively comfortable. it doesn't look like there's much traction, but they're usually fighting on flat surfaces so whatever. 8/10
Fu and Lan Fan
these shoes fucking rule. the picture I've included is Lan Fan's, but they wear p much the same shoes. I fucking love these things. they have spikes. Edward Elric fucking wishes. considering this seems to be part of the bodyguard uniform, I'd imagine they're as easy to run around in as the military shoes, if not better since they're expected to be doing martial arts in them. but most importantly, they have spikes. 10/10, no notes.
Ling and Mei
on the topic of doing martial arts, both Ling and Mei wear these.... I'm not sure what they are. flats? slippers? it's unclear. (EDIT: they are apparently Kung Fu shoes!) they seem relatively easy to move around in I guess since they're not very cumbersome and both Ling and Mei rely on being very nimble. they look like they have absolutely no support in the soles though, which is gonna get painful after a certain point. also depending on what fabric they're made of, they could definitely start chafing. I've worn flats. I know that hell. 7/10 for the potential blisters, but at least they're designed specifically for martial arts
Greedling and Bradley
it's hard to get a good shot in this scene because neither of them stop moving, but I swear to god, they're fighting in dress shoes. I cannot stand them. this CANNOT be comfortable. I know Greed prioritizes aesthetics over function so this was probably a compromise between his and Ling's tastes but ohhh my god. he was probably wasting so much of the philosopher's stone just passively healing the million blisters on his feet from running around in these things. there's a chance Bradley is wearing the military uniform shoes but I think he was in more formal dress when he got blown the fuck up, so I don't think so. no wonder he complains about being sore, quit running around in dress shoes you fucking moron. 4/10.
Greed
THESE FUCKING THIIIIIIIINGS. WHY ARE THEY POINTY AT THE END. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HIT HIS FOOT WITH A MALLET AND FLATTENED THEM. he's so dumb. I love him. looking at these things tells me he would probably wear goth cowboy boots if he could, and tbh that would probably look better. 3/10 for Greed's overall silly as hell fashion sense
Lust
okay. the heels make sense considering her whole vibe. however. these are part of her fucking BODY. when she gets incinerated, they grow back. can she even take them off???? I'm scared to ask. I guess if theyre part of her body, she doesn't have to worry about adjusting to balancing in them like you would normally with heels, but oh my god. she can never wear normal shoes. I would also be murderous if I had to wear heels all the time. 4/10.
Father and Izumi
guys. these are sandals. it has been four hundred years and Father is still wearing the same outfit he was wearing in the damn desert. find a new outfit man. Izumi is apparently wearing bathroom slippers (hence the WC) so idk why she's even wearing those out of the house. Father gets 0/10 and Izumi gets 1/10 because she still manages to kick everyone's asses while wearing these, so respect
Envy
PUT YOUR FUCKING TOES AWAY. -10000000/10
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