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#otp: pleasure leads to pain
daemon-in-my-head · 2 months
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OC profile: Ellifain
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Got tagged by @wafflerageface (ty 💕), @sakurainhellagain @asteriasfallingstarsandtears @kawareo have fun if y'all want, or those that want to do this feel tagged rn
Basics
Full name: Yeah, about that, do you want the alias, the name he went with mainly or the true name? I might've gone overboard here. Ellifain is an alias he uses cuz reasons, the name he's registered as a citizen with and the one his family gave him would be Fionnlagh Starym, there's a whole ass backstory about his name, why he isn't using it, if he ever uses it again etc but too much for here. Feel free to ask though. Oh but, Gortash kinda knows his name? Listen y'all it's complicated. I like it when they suffer.
Gender: Male but is too busy having an identity crisis to care for it
Sexuality: aspec
Pronouns: he/him/they, doesn't really care for the same reason as above though
Other
Father: biological; Bhaal, adopted; Anfalen Starym
Mother: biological; Bhaal(?), adopted; Saelihn Starym
Siblings: biological; Sarevok Anchev, adopted; Elanil Starym. Orin is just a niece, she's not Bhaals kid (though he does treat her like a sister)
Birthplace: praise the vague canon, I suppose he was created in Gehenna before Bhaal dropped him like a hot stone in the Gate
Job: Cult leader
Phobias: being viewed as Faithless or False, the cold
Guilty Pleasures: 'artistic' worship, dancing, sitting in the sun like a lizard, playing with Cadis
Alignment: neutral evil with chaotic tendencies
Sins: vivisections, murder, extortion, blackmail, skipping the fine prints, skipping work, arrogance, do you need the whole list or does this suffice?
Virtues: protectiveness (he's really not a good guy)
This or That
Introvert/Extrovert: Extroverted introvert(?), prefers to keep to himself or his small group of people he does not hate, but can be charming and extroverted in a rather manipulative fashion if duties require
Organized/Disorganized: Organized, not thanks to Scels help
Close-Minded/Open-Minded: Very open-minded, for better or worse. Please stop eating people that's not a balanced diet.
Calm/Anxious/Restless: Restless, can't sit still for 5 minutes. Needs to fiddle with something if he's not occupied
Disagreeable/Agreeable/In-Between: In-Between, will hear you out but if he considers your idea to be foolish he will call you out and become incredibly stubborn about it
Cautious/Reckless: Reckless. Does not give a damn as long as only he's involved, if others could be put into unfortunate situations however he'll reconsider and be somewhat careful. If he likes them that is
Patient/Impatient/In between: Patient, he'll get what he wants eventually, one way or another
Outspoken/Reserved/In between: Reserved, he will not talk or say more than he has to in order to convey his point. Local tyrants hate this trick.
Leader/Follower/Flexible: Flexible but prefers to lead
Empathetic/Unempethic/In between: In between, tries his best to be empathic but some things he simply can't comprehend or refuses to cuz of his own past
Traditional/Modern/In between: In between, mainly traditional but isn't afraid of introducing new things to the cult or his life
Hard working/Lazy: Hard working, solely cuz he avoids sleep and can't sit still for 5 minutes. Lounging is his archenemy
Relationships
OTP: Gortash. Duh. Though things happened with a certain Drow in between
BrOTP: Astarion, platonic murder worsties, finally an elf that doesn't look at his appearance with disdain cuz they're the same in that regard. Lae'zel is cool too, they could share beautiful moments of identity crisis together
NOTP: Shadowheart, she's a constant painful reminder of the memories he's lost, oddly enough something he'd rather forget (his whole stick is running from uncomfortable truths lol) edit; also he has that whole Sehanine and moon bit going on so Shart thought he's a selunite, didn't go well for either of them lmao
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fantastic-rambles · 9 months
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Fandom: Sk8 the Infinity
Characters: Ainosuke Shindo, Tadashi Kikuchi
Warnings: The whole kit and caboodle. Dubcon, Sexual Abuse/Torture, Bondage, Size Kink, Double Penetration, Incontinence, Verbal Abuse, Burnplay, Injury, Snuff
Word Count: 1.6k
Summary: When Tadashi defies Ainosuke to enter his tournament in an attempt to make his master stop skating, Ainosuke shows him exactly what he means by "illustrating that to [his] body." [Year of the OTP 2023 @yearoftheotpevent. September: hurt/comfort, Part One]
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Tadashi whined into the gag, his voice thin and strained. His muscles had seized up, the restraints binding his limbs offering no give. He'd tried to stay quiet until now, tamping down his discomfort as he always did, but his body was beginning to betray him.
Despite the blindfold tied tightly over his eyes, he knew that Ainosuke was still there, even though he hadn't said anything in a while and the residual smoke from his cigarette was starting to grow stale. Sometimes, his master would leave him like this, but this time, his presence had remained as Tadashi's body had slowly tensed up, sweat slicking his skin while his breathing grew more labored. He couldn't feel his knees anymore, even though he knew that they were still pressed against cold concrete, his toes tingling as his circulation slowed.
The only thing that he could feel, beyond the gradually increasing pain, was the main instrument of his torture: it continued to hum unceasingly as it vibrated deep within his body. The dildo had almost been too large for him, and even with the gag, Tadashi had bitten through his lip to hold back his pained cries as Ainosuke had patiently but ruthlessly pressed it inside, feeling his intestines stretch as they were forced to take it. He hadn't been given any time to grow accustomed to it, either, before it was switched on, surprising a high-pitched moan out of him and earning him a hard slap on the ass and a scathing rebuke: "Filthy dog."
The toy had milked him dry long ago, any hint of pleasure replaced with an eternity of cruel stimulation. The cloth over his eyes was soaked with his silent tears as the untiring tyrant demanded more when he had nothing to give… and yet he couldn't bring himself to hope that it would end soon.
Because this was his punishment. It wasn't his place to decide when it ended: as the one wronged, Ainosuke was the only one who could determine when he was satisfied by Tadashi's repentance. So all Tadashi could do was wait, hearing his blood pounding in his ears.
He didn't know how long it had been, the occasional pained noise dragged out of him, until he heard the soft hiss of the lighter and the crackling sizzle as it lit another cigarette. A long, deep inhale that he almost envied as his own gasps strained against his restrained chest. Yet, Ainosuke made no move to free him, simply continuing to smoke in silence while Tadashi's joints ached.
Then, finally, he heard the scuff of Ainosuke’s shoes as he approached. Tadashi barely flinched when the scalding tip of the cigarette ground against his shoulder, smearing hot ash and fire against his skin. That pain was nothing compared to the rest of his torment, an afterthought in the calculated intricacy.
"A dog cannot disobey his master," Ainosuke stated dispassionately. "If you understand that… if you'll take back your words… then I'll be magnanimous and forgive you, this time. You're still useful, after all, and it would be a waste to lose a man of your talents, whatever your other faults."
Tadashi's heart clenched at the implication, but he shook his head slightly, panting. Even if Ainosuke fired him, he'd still be bound by the rules of Crazy Rock: as long as Tadashi beat him in a race, he could make his master give up skateboarding. He'd been the one to lead the man down this misguided path in the first place, so it was only appropriate that he should be the one to stop him. He was probably the only person who could.
Ainosuke understood that, too, which was why he was trying so hard to make Tadashi give up. As talented as Ainosuke was, Tadashi was the man who had taught him: while he wouldn't have ever been able to think up the sort of tricks that Ainosuke had invented, he could pull them off. And when it came down to pure skating, he might still be a little better. But not for much longer, so this tournament had been the perfect—and perhaps his last—chance.
"I see."
He felt a hand rest on his ass, and then the dildo shifted in him, making him groan as it was tugged out slightly before being pressed back in. Ainosuke continued to play with it, twisting and thrusting it shallowly in and out of Tadashi's stretched, abused hole while Tadashi gasped, trying to relax while his entire body begged for relief. But when warm fingers began to prod at the edge of the silicone, searching for space when there was none, he tensed up, moaning a protest despite himself.
"Take back your words," Ainosuke repeated, and Tadashi wanted to. He desperately wanted to. He'd promise the other man anything, if only it would make this stop…
Anything but that.
So he felt himself being pried open, stretched beyond all human endurance, eased only a little by extra lube. Slowly, painfully slowly, one finger slipped in beside the dildo. Then a second.
He squeezed his eyes shut while his throat seemed to close up. He couldn't breathe as it felt like he was being torn apart, his shape maintained only by the bindings that strapped his body together. And when the hot, blunt tip of Ainosuke's cock finally breached him, his desperate composure finally shattered.
He sobbed into the blindfold, his scream choking against the gag as he was overwhelmed with a fresh, blinding burst of pain. It was too much, bitter bile rising in his throat, and he fought to swallow it, lest he drown in it. Yet Ainosuke continued to press into his too-tense body, hissing softly as he seated himself inside.
Tadashi's body was no longer his own, a mere sack of flesh filled to bursting while his cry faded to a low, pleading whine. For the briefest of moments, he was afforded a sense of relief as the hard, inflexible toy retreated… only to be shoved back in, hard and fast, while Ainosuke fucked him in a punishing rhythm, manipulating the dildo expertly so that the two of them continued to push him past his limits, making Tadashi scream into the gag until his voice began to fade.
He could do nothing but shake under the cruel assault, his body dripping with sweat, until they were thrust into him one last time, together, tearing him in two, and he felt Ainosuke coming in him with a feral growl.
Tadashi's head drooped in resigned exhaustion, and Ainosuke's body slumped over his, compressing Tadashi's body further while it screamed in protest. Then, a pair of hands closed over his throat, squeezing hard.
Instinctively, he tried to resist, but his overextended muscles wouldn't obey him. But even if they did, there was nothing that he could do except clench his fists weakly. His breath whistled out of his raw throat, desperately trying to draw in more air as the hands continued to constrict. Vaguely, he was aware of a warm wetness trickling down his thighs, but soon, that was gone, too, as his awareness was slowly eaten away.
Then, nothing.
Tadashi inhaled in a shattering gasp and immediately began to cough, the harsh bursts making him wince as they tore out of his aching throat. His whole body hurt as he rolled over onto his stomach, feeling a deep, throbbing ache in his chest as he fought the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. Unbidden, tears crept into his eyes, dropping onto already wet concrete as he simply struggled to breathe.
As his breathing eased, his surroundings came back into focus.
Ainosuke, still costumed, sitting with his back to him as smoke rose from the cigarette in his fingers. His body, wet and shivering, still cramping but finally unbound. The cold floor beneath him, roughly washed clean… he didn't see the bucket, but he knew where it would be.
His clothes were still neatly folded, just out of reach, and Tadashi dragged himself over to them, dressing himself slowly while all his limbs shook. He couldn't help but feel grateful that it was the capman uniform: struggling into a suit was beyond him at the moment.
"What a useless dog. You won't even die properly. Maybe I should drown you, next time."
Tadashi glanced over his shoulder, watching as Ainosuke stubbed out his cigarette on the edge of the box he was sitting on. His own hands pressed against his legs, working out the knots in his muscles until he could get to his feet. He still felt a little shaky as he stood and took a step toward his master, but his legs slowly reaccustomed themselves to the movement.
"But I suppose it's for the best. I still need someone to drive me home. Let's go."
He flicked his butt away before standing up and striding away, leaving Tadashi to hobble after him. When they'd settled into their usual positions in the car, Ainosuke added one more comment.
"You should go to the hospital after you wash up. I might have broken a rib. And you might need stitches."
A rib? The stitches were easy enough to figure out: Tadashi could feel a trickle in his pants that wasn't thick enough to be come, though the pain didn't stand out more than any of his other aches. But when would Ainosuke have been in a position to break a rib? Had he kicked Tadashi when he was passed out? Or—
Tadashi's gaze rose to the rearview mirror, his wide eyes meeting a scarlet stare before Ainosuke looked away.
"Just go, dog."
Tadashi tried to respond, but only a wheezing sound emerged from his throat, so he just nodded, starting the car and heading back to the estate. But the heavy stone in his chest seemed to be just a little lighter.
Part Two
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commander-krios · 2 years
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world building wednesday
Esther Ryder
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B A S I C S
full name: Esther Alicia Ryder
gender: Female
sexuality: Lesbian
pronouns: she/her
O T H E R S
family: Alec Ryder (father), Ellen Ryder (mother), Finlay Ryder (twin brother)
birthplace: The Citadel
job: Archaeologist, The Andromeda Initiative 
phobias: snakes, thunderstorms
guilty pleasures: Cliff jumping
M O R A L S
morality alignment?: Neutral Good
sins - lust/greed/gluttony/sloth/pride/envy/wrath
virtues - chastity/charity/diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice
T H I S - O R - T H A T
introvert/extrovert: Esther is very much an extrovert. Probably more so than even her twin. She’s a people person, social and friendly. She easily makes friends and pulls people into her bubble.
organized/disorganized: As an archaeologist, she needs to be organized. It helps her do her job and help others do their job as well.
close minded/open-minded: She’s always been open minded, especially about other species. She knows most aren’t like humans and tries her hardest to not judge before getting to know someone.
calm/anxious: She can be anxious at times, but she’s mainly calm. 
disagreeable/agreeable: Esther is agreeable to a point. If it makes sense, if it achieves an objective, if things are done in the proper manner, she’s will do things without complaint. If something is not correct, she will let you know without an issue.
cautious/reckless: Oh she’s a reckless one. Not with her life, but with her actions. She lives her life to the fullest, not wanting to miss a moment. It was the one point of contention between her and Alec, but he knew that she had good intentions.
patient/impatient: She is a lot more patient than her brother. And most of that has to do with her brother. Her job helps her practice patience as well.
outspoken/reserved: She’s always been known as an outspoken woman, most of it due to her father. He wanted her to be her best self and to stand up for herself when others weren’t taking her seriously. She owes a lot of her career to her father’s advice and guidance.
leader/follower: Esther isn’t the type to want to lead. An expedition is one thing, that’s where she shines. But she doesn’t like making the decisions. If something went wrong, the responsibility would be too much to bear.
empathetic/unemphatic: Esther is definitely more empathic than her brother. She’s always been sensitive to the pain of others. Sometimes, it is taken advantage of, but it’s never truly bothered her.
optimistic/pessimistic: Her optimism for finding a new life for the galaxy was what guided her into the Andromeda Initiative. She wants everyone to have a chose to live their best life and that helps her continue doing what she does best.
traditional/modern: Modern. Her family was never very traditional.
hard-working/lazy: Esther doesn’t know when to stop working. She enjoys what she does so much that it isn’t even like work to her. It’s Vetra that actually gets her to slow down and just breathe for once. 
R E L A T I O N S H I P S
otp: Esther x Vetra Nyx
ot3: none
brotp: Esther & Liam, Esther & Peebee, Esther & Drack, Esther & Suvi
notp: Esther x any man
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josephslittledeputy · 3 years
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OTP Soundtrack
Tagged by @scungilliwoman & @henbased tyyy! :)
Tagging: @havingsomemorejohnlarks @clicheantagonist​ (I’m not sure who else has yet to be tagged, but if you haven’t yet please do one and feel free to tag me :) I always love finding new music!)
OTP: The Burning Heart (Willa/Joseph)
Apple Blossom - White Stripes
The Burning Heart - Hans Zimmer (The reason for their ship name 🙈)
Give Me A Reason - The Rosebuds
Faith In Love - Devil Doll
Werewolf Heart - Dead Man’s Bones
OTP: What The Water Gave Me (Willa/John)
Pretty When You Cry - Vast
Wait By The River - Lord Huron
Time Of The Season - The Ben Taylor Band
Too Late To Turn Back Now - Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose
For Your Entertainment - Adam Lambert
OTP: The Freedom of Madness (Willa/Jacob)
Secret Smile - Semisonic
Desire - Meg Myers
Become The Beast - Karliene
Funnel Of Love - SQÜRL, Madeline Folin
Dirty Laundry - Bitter:Sweet
OTP: Lonely Days Are Over (Sunny/Rush)
At Last - Etta James
Yeah, I said it - Rihanna
Fooled Around And Fell In Love - Elvin Bishop
Can’t Take My Eyes Off You - Frankie Valli
Dancing With Your Ghost - Sasha Alex Sloan (Couldn’t resist the temptation to throw in some angst)
OTP: Pleasure Leads To Pain (Sunny/Lou)
Gimme What I Want - Miley Cyrus
Boys Wanna Be Her - Peaches
Shameless - The Weeknd
Terrible Thing - AG
Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing - Chris Isaak
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iturbide · 3 years
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Emmeryn?
How do I feel about this character?
Glorious.  Magnificent.  Inspirational.  Emmeryn is a fascinating character for the fact that she took over a failing nation from her warmongering father at the age of ten, adopted a purely pacifistic set of policies, suffered through years of distrust and outright abuse from her own people, and not only managed to maintain her kindness and optimism in people, she managed to foster her people’s trust and love for her as a leader after the disastrous reign of her father.  She was already a force to be reckoned with in canon when they decided to unfairly drag her off the stage to spur her brother’s character development; had she lived, I’m absolutely certain that she would have continued to be an absolute powerhouse of a ruler because the affection of her people is one of the most powerful weapons a leader can have in their arsenal: Ylisse wouldn’t let anyone take her easily, as beloved as she is.
Fire Emblem doesn’t have many leaders like her, and I can’t think of any that live long, sadly.  Which is a shame, because they’re frankly fascinating, and I think the game could be improved by having them survive and thrive even in the face of war, rather than “inevitably” falling to it. 
Who do I ship this character with romantically?
Grima.  It’s Grima, okay?  I know that Phila is a popular ship for her, and I like that well enough, too, but my guilty pleasure and OTP for Emmeryn is with Grima.  Yes, I’m fully aware it’s crack.  That’s not going to stop me.
Who is my brOTP for this character?
Frederick, weirdly enough!  I’m not generally a fan of Frederick in any way, but I find his loyalty to her endearing, and I like the idea of them being contemporaries and friends; Emmeryn did trust him enough to watch over her siblings, after all, which implies to me that she knows his general character.  Also, she does have two siblings, of course I love their interactions...but I also love the idea of her bonding with Robin.  Robin doesn’t usually have an older sibling figure, and Emmeryn really does give off that sort of vibe, and seeing her take Robin under her wing is just a really warm sort of thought.
What’s my Unpopular Opinion™ about this character?
Are there popular opinions about Emmeryn?
...I guess if I had one unpopular opinion it would be that she did, in fact, mess up big time.  It wasn’t malicious, I don’t think, but the fact that she never reached out to Plegia in the roughly fifteen years after the war ended is a huge problem, because it gave Gangrel the ammo he needed to stir up public sentiment against Ylisse again.  Was it her fault that her father’s "Crusade” resulted in the genocide of the Plegian people?  No -- but as his successor in heading up the halidom of Ylisse, it should have been her responsibility to handle the aftermath of those atrocities, including admitting that Ylisse was in the wrong for doing that at the absolute minimum. 
There is value in focusing her attention on healing her own nation, of course.  Ylisse was in a terrible state when she called an end to the war following her father’s death, and work absolutely needed to be done.  But Ylisse has clearly bounced back and is now thriving again; there’s really no excuse for her to have sat on such an important diplomatic gesture for so long.  The fact that she canonically does not deny that Ylisse was in the wrong, but doesn’t directly admit to them either except to say that she’s made the halidom a “realm of peace” makes it feel like she’s trying to put the past behind them without thinking about the fact that Ylisse did direct, irreparable harm to another nation, and that’s not something that can just be swept under the rug (as much as Awakening on the whole might try to). 
I love her dearly.  But she made a big mistake with that, and I wish that more people would acknowledge that Gangrel really did have a point when he berated her.
What’s one thing I wish would have happened with this character in canon?
NOT DYING??? 
No, that’s really the big one.  I really, really wish that she hadn’t been killed to serve as character development for her brother, because it’s really gross the way IntSys fridges its characters (and especially its female characters) to serve as development for its (usually male) leads.  I think the game could have been really interesting if Emmeryn survived to see through the actual events -- and given who she is as a person, I think she of all people might have been able to convince even Grima to stand down from the fight by trying to understand the fell dragon’s pain, rather than inflicting more on them. 
Give Me a Character 
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letsperaltiago · 4 years
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ok time to break my silence caused by the fact that i spent all day making this lol too many feels 
so.. palm springs thoughts !! and there are manyyyy so buckle up and feeel free to hit me up with either matching or contradicting thoughts or whateveer!! i would LOVE to nerd out about this movie with someone:’)
here comes thoughts and pictures!! 
we basically start off with a mr. samberg sex-scene okAYYYYY the mood is set. we love the view
nyles aka. mr. samberg is the most gorgeous man alive and it was a true pleasure to admire him for 90 minutes straight 
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CURLS!!????! THEY ARE UNREAL. i shall dedicate an entire post to them
Cristin Milioti is perfect for her role. her acting? *chef’s kiss* I love that she’s not the stereotypical female rom-com lead.
Her chemistry with Andy? Gosh.. Can’t believe Nyles x Sarah is my new main movie-ship!! They play off of each other SO. WELL. Their characters are equally stone cold and bitter, but then again not really, and they both portray it so well!!
“You don’t ned a leg up.” *moans* “Hold my leg up!” i SCREAMED
“Don’t you kiss me.” “Don’t you tell me what to do.” hoW DARE THEY!
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Ok ur basically on love already stop it
The fact that they were just gonna fuck on a blanket on top OF ROCKS?!
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but then again in this movie’s already insane universe it’s prob pretty normal:)
The overall dark, existential humor?? This is what I live and breathe for on a daily basis. Basiaclly both main characters are a BIG MOOD
Nyles not giving a shit vs. Sarah severely freaking out in the beginning is an iconic dynamic
“I am the antichrist” and then the rock falling? For a hot sec I literally thought the movie was gonna take a turn with Nyles being some magical/scientific creature that’d created the timeloop or something idkkk ahhha
Nyles in the suit... ridiculous(ly hot)
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The torture methods Roy uses on Nyles and the fact that he’s not mentally scarred?? How?? 
On that note I love that Nyles and Sarah keep their memories even if the day starts over. Would’ve been a completely different concept if they had to “meet each other for the first time” every day and it wouldn’t’ve allowed their relationship arc to evolve as it did 
Darla is the fucking shit 
Nyles in the baseball cap, amirite?
THE BARTENDER TALKING ABOUT HITTING A GUY WITH THE CAR SHE’S CURRENTLY GIVING NYLES A HANDJOB IN IS COMEDIC GOLD 
“You fucked Jerry Schlieffen?” “Well he fucked me.” Yes SIR. Andy Samberg’s characters are all bottoms and we’re here for it
Sarah’s tongue click and “nice try” when Nyles asks her about her sex life?? 
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IDK WHY BUT SO GOD
Randy is hella annoying. That’s it. That’s the tweet.
THIS ENTIRE SCENE:
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the fact that they both start waking up smiling because now at least they have each other 🥺😭🤯
uhm i love a good ship that’s like... best friends to lovers and the montage of them basically becoming besties killed me 
this outfit Y E S: 
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sarah falling off the car and nyles laughing it off is relationship goals
the crashing plane I LOL’ED
okay so... big moment... the DANCING AND MATCHING OUTFITS? THEY ARE MY DREAM TEAM. Also how excited they are running away from the bar 🥺
IM POSITIVE THIS IS THE MOMENT NYLES KNOWS! LIKE HE DOESN’T ADMIT IT TO HIMSELF COMPLETELY BUT HE KNOWS 
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the bomb in the cake and french pirate-skit? so fucking random but i lovee it because it’s so them
*DRUM ROLL* PERHAPS MY FAVORITE MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: 
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STORYLINE WISE AND VISUALLY A++++
the deep talks by the fire were SO well written. they were actually deep and genuine, allowing the characters to grow and opening up to us as viewers but also remained fun and witty
sarah trying to get nyles to admit he cares for her and him joking it off??? the flirtinggg
really wish we’d gotten to know more about what nyles meant with “it drifts away: just like they all do.” because it really seemed to trigger something within him. Like WHO “They”???
the dinosaurs lmao no comment but at least they got a cute cuddly moment
from the very first millisecond inside the tent you can CLEARLY tell Sarah is just dying to do something about them!!!
 the disbelief on nyles’ face when sarah says “lets just get it over with” because she’d clearly stated he didn’t want to and even though he obviously did he’s respected it and not done anything further about it oh babey
we love some good making out:’))) 
NYLES HALTING TO TAKE IN THE MOMENT EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO SCREAM INTO THE VOID 
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i will die for a post-sexy timez cuddle and how sarah is trying to staying awake to be besides him is just *explosion* 
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this has to be *the moment* she realises 
and they’re both sooooo fucking happy when they wake up after damn love me like that pls
THE GROOM BOOO FUCK OFF CAN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO REMEMBER HIS NAME CHEATING SCUM 
THIS FACE:
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Baby is trying so hard and is so cute and nervous about it. SARAH LISTEN TO HIM HE LOVES YOU.
HE FELT GOOD WAKING UP BECAUSE OF YOUUUU, GIRL. DO NOT CALL IT “FUN”, SARAH 
“Going to bed maybe just got a little better” 😭😭😭😭
The entire cop scene is just pure insanity, very Lonely Island and I’m here for it even though I just want Sarah to rEALLY LISTEN TO WHAT NYLES IS TRYING TO SAY 
“Pain is real” oh babey that means SO MANY THINGS 🥺💔
“I followed you into that cave because I liked you!” like jake would say: don’t love how we got here but we’re going where i want
“pretentious sad boy” me
not shocked that they’ve hooked up before because c h e m i s t r y but don’t like how it got out :)))
why is nyles’ one sleeve shirt rolled up? im triggered
drinking pure vodka? oh babey its gonna be okay 
WE LOVE A SMART BOI WHO RECOGNIZES HIS GIRL’S PERFUME 
Sarah’s parents singing:)) i would cry too, nyles
"I love her.” “I see... That’s interesting” lmao savage
I actually really love Roy’s character. It turns out to be very humble actually and he has some insightful and lowkey poetic that lines i love. Besides that he’s hilarious. 
SO the whole time i was wondering how they’d get out of the whole “same day forever”-thing, if they were to. and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they had such a logical way out of it: science. Not anything cheesy like “a true love’s kiss” or “you learned your lesson”. Pure logic and Sarah’s hard work to get there. Huge fan of this. 
I will never get over how good Nyles looks waking up and Sarah is xtra pretty in that scene:’) 
Nyles just wants to stay in a loop forever because it means for sure that he gets to stay with Sarah forever and I’m lowkey into it but also like lowkey LISTEN TO HER AND GO WITH HER PLAN, NYLES
“I wanna stay with you” *sniffles*
“I love you. How about that?” PRETTY FUCKING GOOD 
I love Nyles’ character development. He started off so nonchalant and cold, closed off and by this point he’s the softest, smiliest in love fool I’ve ever seen and Andy does it so good. SAMBERG HEART EYES!!
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“Nothing is real in here” YES SARAH UR LOVE IS
I’m taking Sarah’s asking Nyles to believe in her and leave with her as her first “I love you” because it’s very clear that she wants to leave with him rather than without. 
just- this entire scene i ugh <3 <3 <3 <3
BREAKING. UP. WITH. MISTY ! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
glass of wine filled to the brim? sarah’s my type of gal
the speech was really beautiful and sweet without being too cheesy and kudos to cristin for really delivering it like a pro! especially her “abe, don’t fuck this up” like yes girl kill him, chop him to pieces with your eyes!!! also camila is such really pretty bride
nyles looks like a cockatoo here :
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nyles taking the shot and smashing the glass into the ground got me 🤭😵😏🥵
“I’m your son” I SCREAM
GIVE THE MAN A WHITE HORSE DAMNIT
Gotta admit Sarah looks like a bomb (lol nu pun intended) ass super hero in her bridesmaid dress and C4-gettup 
The sentence ending up being total grammatical gibberish but Nyles trying so. damn. hard is the sweetest thing ever and should and will go down in rom-com history. It’s super romantic but also well-balanced by humor and I just.. so good. This is the kind of characters and relationships I love and wanna write myself 
“you’re my favorite person that i’ve ever met” 🥺🥺🥺
“i’d rather die with you than live in this world without you” WHY AM I SO SINGLE SOMEONE LOVEE ME LIKE THIS 
okay so idk but “what if we get sick of each other?” “we’re already sick of each other. it’s the best.” is so so so soft, the way nyles says it like it doesn’t matter and is honestly another key moment for me: they’ve experienced basically everything imaginable during their time in the box/loop. they’ve liked, disliked, loved, hated each other and still: he loves her. the fact that nyles knows no matter what happens it won’t stop that because it’s them?? ouch my heart. 
this chaotic mess of a pairing?MESSY BOMB BRIDESMAID AND CURLY-HAIR HAWAII SHIRT-BOI!! MY OTp
Them dissing Nyles’ mom on their way into potential death? that’s love, baby 
the fUCKING KISSSSSSS MANNNNNNNNNN!!!! SO ICONIC AND THE EXPLOSION IN THE BACKGROUND AND JUST WE DESERVE THIS THEY DESERVE THIS EVERYONE DESERVES THISSSS!!! 
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NEVER OVEER THIS EVER FOREVER NEVER
Ok so I was SURE that when it faded to black that it was done and I grew super ficking frustrated because it would leave us with this “the ending is up to whatever you chose”-kinda thing kinda a la Celeste and Jesse where it just feels unresolved and I WASN’T OKAY WITH THAT. So I’m so happy we got to know that it worked and the bebes will live happuilly ever after with Nyles’ shaggy dog:’) 
Their hands on each other’s knee >>>>>
all in all 100000/10 
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mcatmemoranda · 3 years
Text
Addiction is a chronic, relapsing brain disease that results in changes to motivation. Dopamine (DA) drives motivation. Drugs cause increased DA.
They don't say "detox" anymore. Now it's called "medically-supervised withdrawal." "Abuse" and "dependence" are no longer used; now it's called "substance use disorder." Substance use disorder (SUD):
Physiology (tolerance and withdrawal) + loss of control (use more than intended, spend a lot of time trying to obtain drug, can't cut down, give up activities, have cravings) + consequences (unfulfilled obligations at work, school, home, interpersonal problems, dangerous situations, medical problems).
OBOT = Office-Based Opioid Treatment.
In 2000, the Drug Addiction Treatment Act (DATA) allowed qualified physicians to offer OBOT; allowed physicians to prescribe schedule III, IV, and V narcotic medications approved by the FDA in treatment settings other than Opioid Treatment Programs (OTP).
In 2016, the Comprehensive Addiction and Recovery Act (CARA) allowed NPs and PAs to become eligible to prescribe buprenorphine.
The pt must have 2 or more of the 11 criteria within the past year in order for you to diagnose an OUD.
Drugs for tx of OUD:
-Buprenorphine (partial mu-opioid receptor agonist)
-Methadone (mu-opioid receptor agonist)
-Naltrexone/naloxone (mu-opioid receptor antagonist)
90% of heroin addicts relapse without Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT). MAT decreases mortality, increases retention in treatment, and improves social functioning. The risk of death without treatment is 500% higher than the general population! Even with treatment, there is a 2x increased risk of death in pts with OUD compared to the general population.
Endogenous opioids: endorphins, dynorphins, enkephalins
Opiates: morphine, codeine
Semisynthetic opioids: buprenorphine, heroin, oxycodone
Fully synthetic opioids: fentanyl, methadone
Opioids in the thalamus cause analgesia. Opioids in the Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) cause DA release to the Nucleus Accumbens (NAc), the pleasure/reward center of the brain-> addiction.
Buprenorphine is schedule III, unlike full agonists. It's unlikely to cause fatal respiratory depression since it's a partial mu-opioid receptor agonist. Buprenorphine has higher affinity for the mu-opioid receptor than other opioids (e.g., heroin, methadone), and can displace them, leading to precipitated withdrawal.
Naltrexone can be taken PO QD or IM monthly. It reduces cravings by reducing endorphins. It prevents heroin and other opioid agonists from binding the mu-opioid receptor. Treats alcoholism too.
Pts with OUD develop tolerance to the effects of sedation, euphoria, respiratory depression, and nausea caused by opioids, but do not develop tolerance to the constipation and miosis caused by opioids. Treatment causes loss of tolerance, which increases the risk of overdose, should the pt take the opioid again at the same dose he used to take it before gettting treatment. So you have to warn patients that if they get treatment and then go back to abusing opioids, they could overdose and die.
Clonidine is an alpha-2 agonist, decreases presynaptic release of norepinephrine; decreases anxiety/restlessness that occurs in withdrawal from opioids. You can give loperamide for the diarrhea; NSAID for muscle and bone aches; and ondansetron for the N/V that occur in withdrawal. Methadone and buprenorphine treat withdrawal sxs. Only a federally and state-licensed program can prescribe methadone.
The R-enantiomer of methadone is therapeutic; was used to treat pain in 1947 and OUD in 1970. The MAT waiver training is a waiver to the 1973 law that allowed methadone to be used for maintenance treatment of OUD.
Methadone is metabolized by CYP3A4 and is detectable in urine. It's a full mu-opioid receptor agonist with weak affinity for the receptor; can be displaced from the receptor by buprenorphine, naloxone, and naltrexone. Overdose of methadone can lead to respiratory arrest and QT prolongation.
Buprenorphine doesn't cause respiratory arrest if used as prescribed; can be lethal if mixed with other sedatives (e.g., EtOH or benzodiazepines). It has high affinity for the mu-opioid receptor. The pt needs to be withdrawing from opioids to start buprenorphine, otherwise the buprenorphine triggers withdrawal.
I remember one of the nurses at the psych hospital I worked at would say "the pt is having a sub for lunch" to let me know she had just given the sublingual suboxone (buprenorphine + naloxone) to a pt. Buprenorphine is mixed with naloxone to prevent people from abusing it. If the pt takes the combination sublingually, then the naloxone has poor bioavailaility. If the pt injected the combination, then the naloxone would have higher bioavailability, so injecting the combination of drugs can't cause the pt to get high. It prevents diversion of the drug to abuse. The ratio of buprenorphine to naloxone is 4:1. So suboxone is 2 mg buprenorphine to 0.5 mg naloxone.
Naltrexone can be given after the pt is off opioids for 7 to 10 days; works just as well as buprenorphine, but waiting the 7 to 10 days to start it can be difficult for pts who are experiencing withdrawal sxs.
Dosing:
-Methadone: 80-100 mg
-Buprenorphine: 4-32 mg
-Naltrexone: 380 mg depot
Since naltrexone is an opioid receptor antagonist, you can't give pts on naltrexone opioids for pain management--it won't work.
Buprenorphine dosage is changed based on the pt's cravings--increase the dose to decrease cravings; treatment lasts as long as the pt benefits from it. AEs of buprenorphine: HA, constipation, xerostomia. All opioids cause dry mouth (one of the reasons heroin addicts can have poor dental health--the drugs dry the mouth out and increase risk of cavities).
DDIs of methadone:
-SSRIs (esp. fluvoxamine) cause decreased metabolism of methadone-> increased blood levels of methadone -Carbamazepine induces methadone metabolism. So use valproate or something other than carbamazepine; but if carbamazepine is necessary, increase or split methadone dose.
-Do not use MAOIs with methadone; TCAs have decreased metabolism when combined with methadone-> increased TCAs (increased risk of TCA toxicity, which is convulsions, cardiac toxicity, and coma).
If pt is on buprenorphine, stop it before giving naltrexone.
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takusanno · 3 years
Note
ship biases for macbeth & loke !
( ship bias! ) in no particular order.
Macbeth:
+ Sorano: Its one i’m happy with either otp or brotp (its an original ship from way back but i havent developed it or had a chance to think much about it so its probably more sitting in brotp land atm, it needs more love in any case). They have been together forever, they Know each other. They Get it. Which could also be bad in a way but idk. She is also one of the few people he actually cares about :’) and they just have such a Look 
+ Meredy: Ever since Oracion Seis joined CS i’ve been thinking about these two! They’ve done bad things, she’s working to be good. He’s.......well, not really working on that. It could all go so Bad but also just be interesting. He might mess with her and i dont think my boy is really capable of a good kinda love but kjngkfjn they look nice together ok. And i think they could have a good dynamic and she really just. Puzzles him. I’ve also kinda actually had a bad experience with this ship in the past but I’m trying not to let it taint the ship as a whole! 
+ Levy: She’s a feisty little nerd and he is here for it ok. I have been craving at least a brotp with them for like 5 years for real 😭 i think her intelligence will get him hooked especially. But also again, he’s gonna mess with her and tug at any insecurity she has, so theres gonna be some rough patches for sure. But also i just think they’d look cute.
+ Juvia: HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT HER OK she and gajeel destroyed some of the guilds Oracion Seis were running and in my book he was impressed. He has long been interested in her since then, she’s highly skilled and she’s smart and he also just doesn’t really understand her
+ Millianna: they’ve both survived the Tower and he remembers her from there. A running theme for him in any sort of relationship is for him to push the boundaries and just be an ass, he likes to get into peoples minds and mess with them (it isnt until they either break or he starts to respect them more that he eases up) but with Milli i think he will just let her be. He knows what she’s been through and for once he doesn’t want to further someone’s pain. She’s also super frickin cute and I’m a sucker for the bubbly girl and emo dude aesthetic. Also he really likes cats so they can bond over that.
Honorable mentions: 
Erza (honestly just hateship all the way 😂), Cana (fun and chill vibes im thinking), Flare (in a verse where she’s joined CS maybe and idk. they both have fabulous hair and are pretty but with a vein of psycho), Lucy (i used to ship it a lot, i think her intelligence and strength would interest him, i like the light and dark aesthetic too, but its also another ship i had a bad experience with, so its a little lower on the list for me atm), Mary (shhhhh ok they would be fun brotp or otp)
Loke:
+ Cana: Canon teammates, good friends. Beautiful looking pair. They have such great potential and with the right plotting it could hurt so good. I imagine they had a lot of trust before he was called out as being a spirit and i’d love to explore them working on rebuilding their connection. Angst and tension central.
+ Lucy: Their bond is so so so so important to me in whatever form it is. I’ve shipped them for a long time but also its difficult because of him being under her contract, so honestly I’m absolutely happy for some one-sided love or tragic forbidden love/believed unrequited stuff. He would do anything for her in any case.
+ Juvia: a guilty pleasure ship tbh. She deserves someone as generous and open as he is, and he’s a gentleman who will treat her right. I imagine mostly a soft friendship to lovers kinda thing (but obvs with some Drama bc he’s a spirit), he’d just be a very supportive and good friend to her and then the feels creep in? She’s also hella pretty. Also his friendship with Gray could also come into play too, like in a version of Juvia and Gray being close (bc gdi i would support a healthy friendship with those two) which leads to Loke spending more time with Juvia and he would approach her more without Gray too.
+ Yukino: I mean, again there’s some difficulty with the spirit/summoner and spirit/human thing but at least Yuki isnt his summoner (tho hmu for an AU maybe) and like. She just deserves someone nice like him.
+ Levy: she’s pretty and smart and deserves more love. I would love to explore their dynamic in general tbh bc i mean they were guildmates for a few years and i think he would have had some fun flirting/teasing her a bit and she’d maybe blush or roll her eyes or think nothing of it and never guess he actually does like her !
Honorable mentions:
Millianna (cute kitties, ok more of a brotp probably but still adorable), Hisui (the whole noble knight and princess thing gets me every time, plus i’ve seen a couple of cute interactions once upon a time), 
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The war is over, love has won but the journey continues. What immediately strikes you about this moment are two things. First, the effortless, gentle and natural intimacy Tharn and Type share - them being both naked, Type lying comfortably on Tharn’s stomach and Tharn not being able to stop himself from touching him even for a second, always caressing any part of Type’s body he can reach, his hair, ear, arm,…it’s something they hadn’t had before to this extent because Type was always holding back. Second, how seamlessly the mood of their conversation changes - it starts as a deep heart-to-heart with Tharn talking about his fears and Type soothing them and them being once again brutally honest with each other, which is a nice continuity with the previous bed scene, and then it turns into lighthearted, full-on flirting and bantering underlined with sexual innuendos, leading to a whole night of lovemaking. Those are only few reasons why Tharn and Type feel always so legit and 100% real, like a genuine couple - there is never anything contrived about the way they talk or interact or touch each other. In my previous post about the bed confession scene, I mentioned how many of the scenes in TharnType contain myriad of details and small, barely noticeable moments which together create a complex and unforgetable scene or sequence and this post-coital bliss scene is one of those cases.
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One of the huge advantages of having the OTP live together is that the room becomes a special place where they experience all their imporant moments - be it their best or worst - and thus making them all even more special. So when Type reveals he told Puifai that he already had someone he dated, it means so much because it was in this very room, when they were also lying in each other’s arms on a bed merely few feet away, when Tharn asked him what he was to him and Type could only give him an unsatisfactory answer. However, flashfoward few weeks later and here he is, telling Tharn what he’ve always wanted to here - that he is his boyfriend, his one and only. And Tharn’s shocked face and that satisfied little smile which follow show how much he cherishes it.
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You have to appreciate Type’s honesty here because it isn’t a question he can give a definite answer at this point, when he still detests gays, because he never seriously dated anyone, never was emotionally attached to anyone, much less to a gay person, so there is no way for him to really know how he’d feel about it. However, what he does know is that Tharn is the only exception and he doesn’t really see Tharn as him being defined by his gender or sexual preference, to him he is Tharn and that’s what truly matters.
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And Type genuinely tries to learn from his mistakes and make amends for everything he did to Tharn and treat him right from now on. He notices how much his answer pains Tharn and hurting him again is the last thing he wants. He immediately apologizes and goes out of his way to make him feel appreaciated and wanted, even instinctively taking his hand and giving it a reassuring caress. Deep down, he is actually afraid of fucking up one more time and ultimately losing Tharn for good.
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Tharn’s admission that he’s going to give up on him shakes Type to the core that for a split second he actually stops breathing and his eyes become big as saucers with terror. It fully dawns at him how close he’s come to losing Tharn and how much he must have hurt him for Tharn,who’s always stayed by his side, forgiven him everything, waited for him and become a constant in his life, to finally decide to give up on him. And then, Tharn being Tharn, flashes that megawatt smile of his and proclaims his eternal love for Type once again, telling him that he’ll never let him go now, and the mood changes from serious and heartfelt to light and teasing.
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What I love about Tharn is that the moment he’s given the permission to love Type to his heart’s content, he doesn’t hesitate a single second and springs into action - openly flirting with Type and planning their new love nest because he wants to hear Type unrestrainedly moan in pleasure and scream in the ecstasy he brings him. He doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he wants to spirit his man way from everyone else somewhere private (preferably to a desert island, I guess) where he can savor and worship his delectable body without any hint ot restaint whatsoever. And he is even willing to pay for it because money can’t stand in the way of true love (and some quality lovemaking, as well). He truly is the ultimate lover.
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He can’t help but imagine it in his head and the mere fantasy of it brings dreamy and blissful expression to his face. Tharn must have dreamed about that particular fantasy for a long time. I love how frank Tharn is with Type about his desires and how much he wants him, but also how he isn’t afraid to tell Type how physically attractive and sexy he finds him as this is a completely new territory for Type who might have been told by women that he’s attractive but to be told that he’s sexy so blatantly and unashamedly by a man, that’s something else entirely. Type’s angry at first but when Tharn reassures him that he is serious, he starts to get genuinely curious and actually feels flattered that Tharn thinks he’s hot. A part of him wants to know what’s so great about him and that such a handsome male like Tharn who could have any man he wanted choose him.
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There is no doubt that Tharn appreciates Type as a person inside and out, but being told by Tharn that he finds him physically attractive is really important for Type, and even more so for the future. He’s soon going to meet Tharn’s two most significant exes and it will mean a lot for Type and his self-confidence to know that he can compare in every deparment. Before he actually finds out that not only he can compare, but that he is, in fact, absolutely singular and it’s them who can’t hold a candle in Tharn’s eyes compared to him.
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THIS! This final moment when Type tells Tharn that he can do anything he wants to with him because everything that tharn does to him feels good.
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wichols · 4 years
Text
Angst/Fluff Writing Prompt Fun Wrap Up!
Now that I have finally finished all the submitted prompts I thought it would be fun to do a cute little wrap up in case you might have missed any of the stories along the way, along with some background/thoughts/feels about each one! Duration May 13th - July 15th (that was longer than I expected but cool!) 1.  Rain and Confessions (Kyoya X Haruhi WC: 1,662)  Prompt: “And yet, you’re still not enough.”  Summary: After her graduation from law school, Haruhi and Kyoya pack up her apartment in preparation of Haruhi moving back to Japan. Kyoya has been waiting years for this moment and he is going to let Haruhi know exactly how he feels about Haruhi and isn't going to let a little rain ruin his plans for them. AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: This prompt is a canon insecurity for Kyoya and so it was easy for me to write- considering I posted the prompt list on the 13th and uploaded it on the 14th. But also it was so hard to write because they are my OTP!! It pained me to make them suffer like this. To make Kyoya vulnerable is tough. To bring down his walls in front of someone is a struggle. Upon reading back through it I dare say there is a peep of inspiration from Pride and Prejudice (can you spot the hidden Mr. Darcy-like quote?). Favorite Line:  “You say that you will do all these things out of your love for me but it is because of my love for you that I cannot accept your offer because you become less of who you are and more of the person you think I need.”  2. Public Masks for Private Matters (Takashi x Haruhi WC: 1,269) Prompt:  “Being alone would be better than being married to you.” 
Summary: Haruhi has finally reached her breaking point. After winning her career-defining case her world comes crashing down. Blame has been assigned and trust has been broken between Haruhi and Takashi. 
AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: The TakaHaru ship is by far one of the hardest ships to use with angsty writing because of the nature of Takashi. The hurt he could inflict on Haruhi isn’t something so obvious like physical/mental/emotional abuse. I think in my mind that it is his lack of response is the most believable response to causing conflict between them- his inability/insecurity to say the right thing at the right time. At least that is what it would come off to others. Takashi is an introvert/observer. If he was experiencing emotional distress he would probably cave in and bottle things up, holding the burden alone.  (Spoliers!!) The real secret behind this fic is that Takashi only ever told her the truth. Haruhi busted a major company for the terrible working conditions of their low income employees. A week after the close of the trial she was jumped by a group of people and was sent to the hospital. They had know she was pregnant for a short while and wanted to keep it a secret because of the high profile nature of the case- not even telling friends or family. They lost the baby and it broke them. To this day they still have not mentioned the loss of their child. So naturally they suffer alone, putting on masks for the public. I honestly thought about writing something more with this background information but it just seemed a little difficult to set up the scene. Favorite Line:  “The love I held for you is what blinded me.“ 3. Cameras and Questions (Kyoya x Haruhi WC: 1,181) Prompt:  An almost kiss Summary:  Yet again Kyoya convinces Haruhi to be his date to another gala event. Haruhi asks a question that gets answered in the most unusual way. Is there more going on between a young no-name lawyer and one of Japan's Top 5 Eligible Bachelors than the public is aware? AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net
Thoughts: This was so fun to write! I love writing snarky Haruhi. I also love writing the back and forth between them. I mean they are my OTP I love the chase. XD I feel like they both can be very up front with each other but that they enjoy the subtleties of their conversations. I love the challenge between them, and how they push and test each other. I think in the beginning I didn’t quite know how to put them in a situation where there was an almost kiss, mostly because I still couldn’t get myself to fully commit to a fluffy piece of writing. But I think with what I did I could classify it as fluff defined by my standards (nobody died and everyone is happy). Favorite Line:  “I don’t know any Ootori man to half-ass anything.” 4. Disgust and Devotion (Hikaru x Haruhi WC:1,083) Prompt:  “Please don’t cry.” & “It’s three in the morning. What could you possibly want?” Summary:  They said that it wouldn't work between them. Are their worlds so far apart that it is impossible? Hikaru is caught up in another scandal and Haruhi has reached her limit. Does she love him enough to stay or is she just too weak to leave? AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: I think at this point in the prompts I still couldn’t get myself to write fluff and this ask was a fluff/angst mix with the two prompts provided. I do enjoy writing the HikaHaru ship even if there is not much out there. Originally when I was working on brainstorming ideas the end game was for them to have angry makeup sex. But I just couldn’t twist what I had in a way that would flow naturally with the base plot. I think I like writing Hikaru slightly drunk. It curves his temper and makes him more mellow. But he is still our impulsive little boy and he still has a ways to grow up. This wasn’t the first time that something like this has come up. Though both times he was not at fault (though in the original idea he totally did cheat one drunk night but couldn’t really remember). If anything the fluff is implied at the end.... Favorite Line:  “The media can make it look like anything they want to with a well-timed photo.” 5. Love Over Reason (Takashi x Haruhi WC: 2,102) Prompt: “Are you blushing?” Summary: Loving someone is complicated. Sometimes we feel as though the ones we love deserve more than we can give. Does spending six months apart change Takashi and Haruhi's feelings for the better or for worse? AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: There was about 5 days between this fic and Disgust and Devotion and I still couldn’t really bring myself to write straight fluff... But this turned into quite a piece. I think I was hitting a stride of coffee shop AUs and I just couldn’t help myself. Ever love someone so much you push them away because you think it will be better than dragging them through your mess? Well same. I think the fluff in this fic is subtle. They care so deeply for one another that they don’t want to hurt each other more. And just to be kind I added more fluff at the end. I’m not sure I really like how I used the prompt for this one but what’s posted is posted. Favorite Line:  “All I have ever wanted from you is you.” - This line still gets me all sorts of choked up when I read it.
6. Brutality Mixed With Intimacy (Takashi x Haruhi WC: 1,455)
Prompt:  'Please don't cry' or 'You know I have feelings for you, right?'
Summary:  After months of following dead ends, the Ouran Association finally has a solid lead to obtaining useful information on the ring leader of a major underground human trafficking organization in Japan. All other hits had gone to plan for Takashi but this one hit too close to home. With Haruhi as their next target, he couldn't handle the risk of possibly losing her.
AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net
Thoughts: Cue the beginning evidence of my current obsession with Mafia AU’s... The mafia au is just the perfect setting for my dark angsty heart! I just couldn’t resist. Especially when fluff was so far down the list of things I still wanted to write. I won’t name names but a certain TakaHaru shipper threatened me that they were going to write a fix it fic so that Haruhi actually ended up with Takashi instead of Tamaki. And of course she would end up with Tamaki, he of all of them would have the least blood on his hands.
Favorite Line:  “You were never going to make it to the drop off location.”
7. Fashion and Feelings (Hikaru x Haruhi WC: 2,691)
Prompt: “You know I have feelings for you right?”
Summary: After years of silently watching and pining for Haruhi from afar, Hikaru finally gets the courage to reveal his true feelings for her. With his new spring line debuting in a few short days Hikaru is going to lay his fashion reputation and love all on the line in hopes of having his feelings reciprocated.
AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net
Thoughts: Finally, FINALLY, finally I was able to pull out just the most fluffy fluff I could write! Like it took everything I had to put no angst in this one at all. This prompt sat for weeks and weeks without progress. I didn’t have a clue with what I was going to do with it. Like, it laughed at me with it’s blank doc. I wanted this final prompt to be just fluff so I left it to sit until I finally had a spark of fluff. This can be read alone or as part of the back story for Disgust and Devotion.  
Favorite Line:  “Most people would be creeped out by someone other than a significant other who bought them lingerie.” Final Thoughts:
Shortest- Cameras and Questions Longest- Fashion and Feelings Combined Total Word Count: 11,443 Title Themes- I really wanted to give this round of prompts a slightly longer title theme. My favorite is probably Brutality Mixed With Intimacy but a close runner up is Public Masks for Private Matters.
Favorite- Fashion and Feelings Least Favorite- Love Over Reason Thanks to everyone who submitted requests! It is always a pleasure writing for you!
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ibijau · 4 years
Text
30 day otp - day two: Bath
2. B - Bath. The otp+ share a bath or shower, or bathe as in swimming or sunbathing.
This one can be read as Gen tbh, but warning for angst and implied character death
Lan Xichen sent away the servants once the bath was drawn, and closed the door to make sure they would not be disturbed. 
Sitting on his bed, with his knees against his chest, Nie Huaisang did not react. He had barely moved from the past few days, except when nature made it imperative. The servants had struggled to make sure he ate the first day, until Lan Xichen came in and took over. He had the advantage of experience. His brother had been in a similar state after his punishment and the announcement of Wei Wuxian's passing. Little A-Yuan too, come to think of it… 
"Huaisang, we need to get you washed," Lan Xichen announced as he came near the bed. "There is a hot bath waiting for you, doesn't that sound nice?" 
He expected the silence, and was not surprised by it. Taking it as a permission of sort, he started fiddling with the ties of Nie Huaisang’s clothes. It was oddly intimate to be doing so, but Lan Xichen easily brushed aside any untoward thought. Nie Huaisang was practically family, and this was no different from undressing little A-Yuan for his first bath in Cloud Recesses. 
"Thank you for not making this difficult," Lan Xichen praised him when Nie Huaisang did not resist his efforts. "I know this is not easy for you, but it must be done. You're almost ready, see? But I will need you to stand up now. Do you want me to remove your inner clothes too, or can you do it yourself?" 
Still no reaction. Lan Xichen took Nie Huaisang’s wrist and pulled on it to encourage him to stand, only to find the other man resisting. 
"Huaisang, we must do this," Lan Xichen gently insisted. "You will feel better after, I promise. If you'd like, I will wash your hair for you. Would that please you?" 
Without saying a word, Nie Huaisang allowed himself to be pulled from the bed. Since he made no effort to finish undressing himself, Lan Xichen did it for him. It should have been odd to be in front of a naked man, especially one he… But this was no different from caring for Lan Wangji or A-Yuan, he reminded himself. It was family. It was someone who needed help, and Lan Xichen could not abide to stand to the side and do nothing. 
Nie Huaisang let himself be pulled to the bathtub, and even climbed into it unassisted. When he sat down in the hot water, a deep shiver coursed through his body. 
"You are doing very well," Lan Xichen praised again, grabbing a towel with which to scrub the other man. He started with his right leg, still caked in dried blood. "Does this hurt?" No answer. No protest either. Whoever healed him seemed to have done a good job. "There doesn't seem to be any serious damage. You seem to be walking just fine. It's a relief." 
This time, Nie Huaisang nodded weakly. Encouraged, Lan Xichen decided to keep talking. 
"You did not get other wounds, did you? I'm glad. You were very brave, you know. Even I hesitated, but you ran ahead like this." 
"Not brave." 
Lan Xichen's hand stilled for a second. He had not heard the other man's voice since it had happened. 
"Why weren't you brave?" Lan Xichen asked, moving to wash his friend's torso. "Huaisang, you tried to stop him. You did stop him. No one else could have done that. I think you saved lives." 
Nie Huaisang shook his head so violently that his whole body moved as well, sending droplets of water around the bathtub. 
"My fault," he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes. "It was my fault. We had argued." 
So that was the reason, Lan Xichen thought. 
Not the reason for Nie Mingjue's deviation as his brother seemed to believe (this, he knew, could only be blamed on family history and the impact of the war), but it explained Nie Huaisang’s deep shock. If he blamed himself for what had happened… 
"You know that's not true," Lan Xichen soothed him, washing his back now. "He had a lot on his mind. He also had an argument with A-Yao just before, would you blame him as well?" 
Without hesitation, Nie Huaisang shook his head again. 
"I'm glad to hear that. Now, I am going to wash your hair. Or do you prefer to do it yourself?" 
After a moment of hesitation, Nie Huaisang rose his head and made a vague gesture toward Lan Xichen that seemed to indicate he was free to proceed as he liked. Taking this as permission, he took a jug of clean water left aside and used it to wet Nie Huaisang's hair. The younger man's cheeks seemed a little flushed as Lan Xichen started rubbing soap on his head, but he blamed that on the bath's temperature. 
"I'll help you dry your hair, and I'll tie it for you. Is that acceptable?" 
"I don't want to go," Nie Huaisang muttered, drawing his knees against his chest.
With a second jug of clear water, Lan Xichen carefully rinced his friend's hair. He was tempted to offer to rub scented oils in it, knowing how Nie Huaisang liked that sort of thing, but decided against it. This was not a day for vanity and pleasure. 
"Think of it as saying goodbye," Lan Xichen suggested, taking Nie Huaisang’s wrist once more and pulling it up to lead him out of the water. 
"I don't want to say goodbye. I don't want him to be gone." 
Again, Lan Xichen was reminded of his brother. Not at the death of Wei Wuxian this time, but that of their mother, when Lan Wangji had been still so young, and so confused as to why he couldn't see her anymore. Their uncle hadn't wanted to explain what death was, so he had only said she was gone. Lan Xichen couldn't remember clearly, but he felt sure Lan Wangji must have protested the same way Nie Huaisang just did. 
"No one wants him to be gone," Lan Xichen sighed, his own pain spiking up for a moment and nearly choking him. His friend, his oldest friend, his sworn brother… He had to take a deep breath to calm down. "No one wants this, but we cannot change what happened. Do you want me to help you dry yourself?" 
Nie Huaisang shook his head, and took a towel himself. Lan Xichen turned around to give him privacy. He was relieved that the bath seemed to have helped after all. When he was dry, Nie Huaisang looked a little more alive than he had done before, and Lan Xichen felt some of his worries lifted. After a shock so great, he had feared Nie Huaisang might not recover for weeks or more. He seemed to have underestimated the other man. 
Still, tears gathered in Nie Huaisang’s eyes when he noticed the white clothes prepared for him, his face turning deathly pale. Lan Xichen steeled himself for more protests, more catatonia. Instead, Nie Huaisang breathed in and picked up his mourning outfit with trembling fingers. 
"Will you help me with this too?" he asked after putting on the inner layers. "It's stupid, my hands shake too much…" 
"Of course I will," Lan Xichen replied, stepping closer. "I'll always help you, I hope you know that." 
Nie Huaisang nodded slowly, letting himself be dressed. When this was done, Lan Xichen also helped with his hair, as he had offered earlier. 
"There, you are ready." 
"I'm really not," Nie Huaisang huffed. "But what choice is there? Still, thank you. Will you… Will you stay close for the ceremony and after, please? I don't want to be alone." 
"I will be there, and A-Yao too. You won't have to face this on your own." 
Nie Huaisang’s lips twitched, as if he were trying to smile and failing. 
"Let's go then. The sooner we go, the sooner it's over." 
Together they left the room, Lan Xichen putting a hand on Nie Huaisang’s back to comfort him. To comfort himself as well, perhaps, though he would not have admitted it. 
It was a bright, sunny day, and they needed to attend Nie Mingjue's funeral.
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heartbreaknow · 3 years
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The Christmas Tradition Of The Vintage Scully Fanmix
In January of 2011, I made a Dana Scully fanmix. I always struggled to find songs I felt really fit her, but I made a fanmix anyway, just for my own edification. At the time I figured I’d probably post it on my LJ when it was finished (because that’s a thing people did in 2011, posted fanmixes on their LJs). But then I guess I wasn’t happy with it, so I didn’t post it.
When Christmas of 2011 rolled around, I was wrapping presents on the floor of my childhood bedroom, and for some reason I decided to put my Scully fanmix on while I wrapped. It’s a deeply melancholy fanmix, so I’m not sure why I did it. It was probably because I loved Scully and Mulder in that bone-deep way that made them feel like family—like people you want to hold extra close to your heart during the holidays.  
So I put on my Scully fanmix, and enjoyed its deep, lingering melancholy as a soundtrack for my Christmas wrapping.
Notably, 2012 was the year I finally moved on to a new OTP, after five long years shipping almost exclusively Scully/Mulder. But when Christmas of 2012 rolled around and it came time to wrap presents—yet again on the floor of my childhood bedroom—I remembered the melancholic pleasure of listening to my Scully fanmix the previous year, and decided to make a repeat of it.
And so I have done every year since. Nine Christmases in a row I have wrapped presents and listened to my Scully fanmix (which in 2011 I titled Quite A Lovely Army, though if I were to title it now I’d probably title it something different). I never made any changes to it after that first year, even though I undoubtedly would make a ton of changes if I were to make a Scully fanmix now.
This Christmas would be the tenth year of the fanmix tradition, but this Christmas it just didn’t happen. I was organized this year; I had boxes to disguise my gifts, which allowed me to wrap them in the living room. And for some reason it just felt wrong to put on my Scully fanmix in the company of other people. So I guess this is the end of an annual tradition.
And that’s why this year I decided to post the darn thing.
It changed a bit, in that first year, as you can see by the fact that Not Only Human by Heather Nova is listed on the back cover art, but was later removed from the mix. Not sure why I removed it, to be honest. It’s a good one (and has the distinction of being used in a particular, much loved Scully fanvid from ye old days of 2004).
I was never convinced anyone would vibe with this mix but me, and after being out of the fandom for a decade, and actively forgoing S10 and S11, I’m all the more certain it is a fanmix with an audience of one. But after all these years, having finally broken the tradition, I wanted to give it a send off of some kind. And I thought, what better way to do that than to finally take the final step I neglected to take back in 2011, and post it? So here it is.
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1. Hopeful Hearts by Sarah Slean 
Fiends and devils in the garden
Take their fill and leave me scarred
But I still have my secret weapon
This my brave and hopeful heart
Incidentally, this is also on my Peter Parker playlist. But a decade before that, it was one of my favorite Scully songs.          
 2. Wonderwall (instrumental) by The Vitamin String Quartet 
All the lights that lead us there are blinding, is a very X-Filesean line. I always particularly identified Wonderwall with S5 and S6. The word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out, makes me think of Mulder's doubt in S5, and his apathy and discouragement throughout most of S6.    
3. Notes From The Underground by Sarah Slean 
We're still out on the roof, howling at the moon
Exiled, another exile in the kingdom
Still out on the roof, I'm a dreamer too
Exiled, we are exiles, we two    
Mulder and Scully, the weirdos in the basement. Spooky Mulder and Mrs. Spooky—aka, the world’s leading paranatural cryptozoologist-pathologist*. Partners, first, last, and always.
*borrowing from Parabiosis by Penumbra
 4. Ordinary Life by Kristen Barry 
Heel to toe takes you from my side
In and out, every breath divides
My eyes to your head, I can't go the distance
But when you go you take me in an instant
Could be a CancerArc track, or a S8 and S9 track. Numbing pain and a sense of helplessness.
 5. Sound Of Water by Sarah Slean 
Sometimes the sword is so heavy
The pain has a ravenous mouth
In the pits of my own making
Sometimes I don't think I'll ever get out
Loosely anthemic, but it’s mostly the sound of this one that clinched it as a Scully track for me. Kind of spirited and refined at the same time.  
 6. Red Moon by David Gray 
I'm getting tired of
Being denied of
Things getting in my way
And if I'm quiet that's 'cause there's nothing left to say
Again, it’s more the sound and the emotion of this one than the lyrics specifically. Definitely post-William, though.
 7. My Invitation by Sarah Slean 
She has such an awful lot of soldiers
Quite a lovely army all her own
Night and day they stand before the fortress
Very safe but very all alone
Probably best suited to the CancerArc, particularly towards the end of S4, as things become increasingly grim.
 8. Falling Down The Mountainside by David Gray 
Without a word you set your sights into the sun
When all the world you put to rights is still so wrong
Pin your heart out on your sleeve
Spouting all that make believe
From your lips it seemed it might come true
Falling down the mountainside with you
This is the second of my two quintessential Scully tracks. I was originally going to have this be the last track, because in its own quiet way it's very comprehensive. But to end on such a fateful note, when it’s already such a sorrow-packed fanmix, felt wrong.  
 9. Kissing Song by Dawn Landes 
And it's meeting that will make them love sick
Distinctly a S7 track. This is a Scully song, to me, because it is focused on order and chaos: the unanswered phone, the unanswered knock at the door, the unacknowledged maelstrom outside. That's Scully's challenge not Mulder's—learning to embrace chaos and uncertainty in some situations.
 'Hidden' Track: No Place At All by Sarah Slean 
(One of my favorites on the mix, so of course I can’t find a link to the full song.)
Oh, look at me
Crying in my sleep
No one has to rescue me
It's plain to see
Could it be
I'm following this reverie
To nowhere and to nobody
To no place at all
The first time I heard this song I imagined Mulder and Scully conspiring together at the edge of a dance floor during some formal function they'd been ordered to attend. I imagined this song coming on, and somehow, with barely a word spoken, they end up falling into a (perfectly professional, hands-in-appropriate-places, but nonetheless achingly yearning) slow dance.
*
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drunkin-kong-donic · 5 years
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Zavazz: A GUIDE
HEY, so I promised I’d make a ‘tutorial’ on the new OTP that’s swept me by storm since others seem to want to get into it too. This is a helpful guide diving into Zavok x Zazz and why i like it! Two of the Deadly Six from the game Sonic Lost World. If you’re here, you are already interested in what these two murder zeets can offer. So I’m not going to get into how underrated the zeti are. That will be for another time, so I won’t get into the zeti’s lore very much in this guide because I’m assuming anyone reading this already know the basics. Anyway, LET’S INTRODUCE the two of them. I predict this is going to get kind of long, so the rest will be under the cut. I’ll be using mostly canon evidence for the ship’s dynamics in this thread. I’ll make one that incorporates more of my headcanons later down the road otherwise this would be even LONGER than it already is. Note that this OTP ain’t exactly your sunshine and daisies kind of ship. They’re both evil and sadists so keep that in mind, and if that ain’t your cup of tea there are plenty of other OTPs the sonic fandom has to offer. Now then, without further ado...
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Zavok, is a 148 year old zeti and current leader of the Deadly Six, who live on the hidden world of the Lost Hex. 
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and Zazz, is 127 year old zeti that presides over the Windy Hill Zone on the Lost Hex, the first area Sonic enters in the beginning of the game which makes Zazz the first boss.
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So let’s get right into it shall we? If you aren’t aware of the plot in Sonic Lost World, basically Eggman invades this hidden mini-world that is floating in the atmosphere called The Lost Hex that Sonic and Tails happen to crash land on after Eggman shoots them out of the sky. Eggman has enslaved the natives there (the zeti) to do his bidding which a mystical shell called the Cacophonic Conch and set them to collect animals for his robots and destroy Sonic. 
After Sonic starts showing his presence on the Lost Hex, Eggman tells Zavok to take care of him before he can start messing with his plans.  And before Zavok can even go beyond contemplating what to do or which of the Deadly Six to send out, Zazz jumps at the chance to volunteer. Now this is where we get into the meat and bones of Zavazz. Because we see it from Zazz’s first appearance and it continues throughout the rest of the game and other media that features Zazz.  And that is that Zazz will do absolutely anything for a chance to impress Zavok. And Zavok KNOWS THIS.
Look at how Zazz’s expression changes during the course of this exchange with Zavok when he’s being complimented by his leader. Going from ‘aw yeah im ready to kick some Sonic ass’
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Straight to genuine excitement like a puppy dog who did something good. 
Now, Zavok is a total bastard, and this shouldn’t come to anyone’s surprise. He’s a villain after all, and he is EVIL, as are the rest of the zeti. And Zavok is shown countless times manipulating and using the other Deadly Six (besides Master Zik) for his own gain. And for Zazz, it’s mostly using him as battle fodder to gain information on his enemies so he can better learn on how to defeat them. This is seen more than once, as Zavok boosts Zazz’s confidence by showering him in compliments and then sending him off into death traps which Zazz eagerly jumps into. (anything to please the boss) It’s in Sonic Lost World AND in Sonic Runners, a mobile app that had several Zazz Raid Events.
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A quick summary of the Sonic Runners 2nd Zazz Raid event (which you can watch yourself here)  Is that Zazz is trying to get back at Sonic and his friends for defeating him during the first Raid event. And after each time you defeat him, he goes and consoles each member of the Deadly Six to get advice on ways to get more powerful, thus upping the difficulty of his boss fights every time you face him as a player. It’s actually really cool because it had cutscenes of all the Deadly Six interacting with one another! And they’re all so good. But when I was watching it, I noticed the stark difference between the way Zazz behaved around the other zeti compared to Zavok. When he was talking to Zomom, Zeena, Zor, and even Master Zik, he was his usual chompin’-at-the-bit, ready-to-let-lose-and-kill ragey self. Even with Master Zik, who was trying to get Zazz to calm the fuck down and meditate. (seriously, he ends up absorbing the power of the power rings by punching them LOL) 
I don’t want to clog up this thread with screenshots, but I’ll post the transcript below between Zavok and Zazz, in which Zavok convinces Zazz that he’d please him more to die for him in battle than to run away from the fight which Zazz eagerly agrees to after getting gassed up by Zavok. 
Zazz: "I don't believe it! I just... I just don't believe it! All these power ups, and I still can't beat that rodent!"
Zavok: “Sonic seems to be giving you some trouble, Zazz...”
Zazz: "He ain't givin' me trouble, it's just... I can't seem to beat him, that's all."
Zavok: "Really, Zazz? That little hedgehog is too much for you...?"
Zazz: "No! It's not that! It's just... Next time! I'll get him next time!" 
Zavok: "You know that we consider defeat to be unacceptable, Zazz... But there's no shame in being wiped out in battle."
Zavok: “The only shame is in running away! Hiding from reality! Refusing to fight on!"
Zazz: "Fightin' on, huh... But... It's just..."
Zavok: "I know how determined you are to win, Zazz... I wouldn't have you in the Deadly Six otherwise..."
Zavok: "Now come on... Show me. Show me your determination... Show me how much you want to win..."
Zazz: "HyaaaAAARGH! Yeah... Yeah, this is it! I'd forgotten about this feelin'!"
Zazz: "Hyaaah hah hah! That was my problem all along! I didn't want to win bad enough! Well now that's changed - now I want it really bad!"
Zazz: "I'm gonna show you what I'm really made of, Sonic! I'm gonna drag you down to the very depths of hell!"
Also note that Zazz is his most powerful after his exchange with Zavok. :) But even so, right after Zavok has the following exchange with Master Zik. Once again showing that Zavok will have no problem sending off Zazz into a fight he know’s he’s going to lose.  Zik: "Are you sure it was wise, telling him all that, Zavok? I mean, it doesn't matter how much he wants it. He's not going to beat Sonic..."
Zavok: "I am well aware of that, Master Zik. I know poor Zazz doesn't stand a chance..."
Zavok: "However, he WILL allow us to collect all sorts of useful data that may lead to us beating the rodent one day."
Zavok: "After all, the Deadly Six always win in the end, don't we..." Zik: "Yes. And success is our only source of pride... Don't worry, I haven't forgotten." 
Zavok: "Heh heh... Sonic may think he's got the better of us, but we're just biding our time. When the Deadly Six finally strike, that rat is done for!"
I can see how this seems like Zavok doesn’t give a single shit about Zazz or what happens to him, but evidence within context states that even though Zavok’s aware that Zazz can’t stand up against Sonic, he knows that he’ll be fine in the end because Zazz can handle it. After all, Zazz seems to be indifferent to pain. 
Because it’s curious to note that out of all the Deadly Six, Zazz is the only one during boss fights in Lost World that won’t run away or return to his mech once he’s knocked down. (Excluding zomom who’s cornered rather than confronted) Instead he rushes at Sonic full force, uninhibited by the fear of getting the crap kicked outta him.  However, saying this, it’s also interesting to notice that despite Zazz having no qualm to physical injury. He does indeed have a fear of disappointing Zavok and getting beat by him instead which you can see from the quote  "The boss is gonna beat me!"—Zazz after being defeated for the last time. (taken from Zazz’s wiki page) Now, there’s no evidence that Zavok actually does this. In fact, I tend to lean more towards that it’s just self-inflicted fear that Zazz has if Zavok ever finds out because that would disappoint Zavok. And that would just be the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to him. But I could be wrong, after all the zeti are extremely sadistic creatures and take pleasure in inflicting all kinds of violence. I’m just not sure if they do it to each other.
And I'm like 90% sure Zazz the only one who has dialogue referring to Zavok when Sonic is fighting him. So as scatterbrained as Zazz is, he’s still worried and has in mind about what Zavok’s and the others are gonna think. Zazz’s desperation for impressing Zavok is well... Impressive, and he actually seems to be the only zeti in the Deadly Six obsessed with the notion of it. After accidentally capturing Tails instead of Sonic, Zavok berates the others for a hot second. And I noticed that Zazz is the only one who visibly cringes from being yelled at by Zavok. (it’s very slight, but you can also notice him reel his tongue in as an added reaction)
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HOWEVER, despite Zavok being a total bastard most of the time, (don’t forget! he’s evil!) I can also prove that he isn’t entirely heartless. Zavok has shown many times within the games to care about the Deadly Six above anything else. (I’d say the only thing he’d put above his fellow zeti is himself and whatever ulterior motives he has hidden up his sleeve.) The first thing he commands the Deadly Six to do after breaking free from Eggman’s control is revenge. After this, he spends the rest of the game fucking with Sonic and Eggman before ultimately trying to destroy the entire world. All because Eggman and Sonic thought they could fuck with his Deadly Six.   
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Also back to Zavazz dynamics; Zazz ONLY cares about impressing Zavok. When under the command of Eggman, Eggman was openly berating their performance and how disappointed he was in them being unable to defeat Sonic, and the only thing Zazz does is yawn. So even with another ‘boss’, Zazz only cares about Zavok’s approval and is loyal only to him. 
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Even this small little detail, when Zavok is standing up for himself and the other Deadly Six, Zazz is shown behind the safety of Zavok making faces at Eggman. (this screenshot is from the japanese dub since Zazz actually makes little noises during this cutscene and makes his teasing more evident)
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Anyway, I really do think that Zazz is Zavok’s right hand, yes man, and is most definitely his most loyal member of the Deadly Six. (This excludes Master Zik, since he’s the former leader of the Deadly Six and is in a semi-retirement phase and kinda acts as advisor for the bunch of them) Zazz is the only one who doesn’t need to be convinced to follow orders and is even seen with Zavok in the Frozen Factory Zone when they’re gloating to Sonic and Eggman about destroying their world, 
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even laughing together after Zavok steps back and allows Zazz to have some fun tormenting them too.
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Zavok loves carnage and destruction, relishing in others having the same nature as well. He’s a lot more cool headed than Eggman and other villains, showing respect to those who impress him with their viciousness. This is very evident in his dialogue from Team Sonic Racing, where he frequently seems to compliment other racers when they attack him. Here are a few as examples:
“Vicious, Amy... I approve!” 
“You’re a savage competitor, Blaze.”
In Lost World he states he would respect Sonic if he didn’t hate him so much, given the frustration of trying to defeat him the entire game.
"Tenacious little hedgehog. I'd respect you if I didn't hate you so much."—Zavok taunting Sonic during Sky Road Zone 4.
Also if you defeat him in boxing in the Mario & Sonic 2016 Rio Games he actually shows the player a decent amount of respect for being stronger, welcoming the challenge.
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Speaking of the Mario & Sonic Olympics and other Sonic spinoff games that feature the zeti, Zavok and Zazz are ALWAYS together. Thus proving more that Zazz is totally Zavok’s first go-to in terms of the other zeti. They are BOTH the only zeti featured in Rio 2016, the mobile app Sonic Forces Speed Battle as the Kings of Carnage, and now the new Mario & Sonic Olympics 2020 Tokyo Games.
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And shown in the Mario & Sonic Olympics 2020 Tokyo trivia section, Zavok cannonly sees and trusts Zazz as a brave and powerful warrior.
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This also leads me into my next point, which are Zavok’s feelings towards Zazz since we mostly just covered Zazz’s side of the sweet sweet Zavazz.
Now, Zavok is a villain, and like all villains, he’s tied with an incredible ego even if he doesn’t outwardly show it as often as someone like Eggman would. 
Zavok admires Zazz because he is always just so eager to jump at a chance to fight whenever Zavok wants him to, and Zazz just generally wanting to do anything for him. A RIDE OR DIE...LITERALLY. I think Zazz being so eager to please him DEFINITELY strokes that ego in him, even if he’s not aware. Like getting blind loyalty and determination from Zazz compared to the other Deadly’s Six general lack of interest definitely allows Zavok to take more notice in Zazz. And it's probably what would attract him the most to Zazz and why he keeps going back to him. Zazz has Zavok’s respect, and it’s so mutual it hurts. Not only that, but Zazz is the most intense zeti out of all of them in terms of ferality, wrecking violence, and havoc. It is stated that even by zeti standards, Zazz is “the meanest and most psychopathic of his entire race”,[3][6]  And Zavok is someone who revels in destruction and savagery, admiring it in general even when it isn’t from himself. So, to have the most destructive and violent of the zeti at his complete command? Zazz lives to destroy, and he’s basically Zavok’s attack dog. What wouldn’t he love about that.  I also think that Zavok finds Zazz entirely endearing, and trusts him the most out of the rest of the Deadly Six. Zavok could be rough with him if he wanted to, and he knows that Zazz would be able to handle it no problem, given their size and strength differences. And you know Zazz would love any bit of attention Zavok shows towards him.  Now, I’m starting to get into headcanon territory so I’ll end this thread here. I think I covered everything. And if not, guess I’ll have to make a part two. I didn’t even get into the comics, so we’ll see what happens. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS ALL IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, it makes me incredibly happy that ya’ll have shown interest in this sleeper of an OTP. Now go enjoy some Zavazz! 
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jehannanmage · 4 years
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get to know the blogger !
can be used for RP  and  non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen.
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1. name: Vicky 2. strange fact about yourself: I like to think of myself as p chill, but... I definitely used to be a really vindictive demon child. My way or the highway. My mum recalls a day where she made me mad and she woke up to me standing beside her bed, hands behind my back -- after coaxing my hands forth, she discovered I was holding scissors...
She just kinda went like. ok. weird. then later went to do laundry and found that her pillowcases had been cut up 8)
3. top 3 physical things you find attractive on a person: eyes, for sure. the way a person smiles. the back/shoulders maybe? Honestly never really thought about it ._. 4. a food you could eat forever and not get bored of: stirfry probably. Gimme that rice and veggies!! Veggiessss <3 OR PIZZA. PIZZZZAAAAAAAAAA 5. a food you hate: do iced cappuccinos count? yuck. failing that, i guess... peanut butter. 6. guilty pleasure: honestly anything??? I’m trying to learn to let go but I still can’t help feeling guilty whenever I’m not doing something productive. Which is so draining. Which doesn’t tend to lead toward future productivity, really. A nasty cycle, that. So. Like. Drawing. Writing. Comicking. Gaming. Cartoons. hhhhhhhhh 7. what do you sleep in: tee and PJ pants. My fave is probably my yellow tee with Trafalgar Law’s Heart Pirates jolly roger on it :3c I need to get some new stuff, all of mine has holes in it oTL haven’t found anything i like 8. serious relationships or flings: ehhh probably serious? Again, not something I’ve considered much of late either way. 9. if you could go back in the past and change one thing about your life, what would it be: egh... probably seeking solutions to both mental and physical health issues sooner rather than later. oops. (probably a lot easier to fix injuries n such Not 10 years after the fact.. aha..) 10. are you an affectionate person: hmm... probably just an average amount of affectionate? don’t mind it but don’t necessarily go out of my way, either. 11. a movie you could watch over and over again: i don’t watch movies much buuut... probably the first half of How To Train Your Dragon. It’s magical qwq 12. favourite book: god it’s been so long uh. I don’t think I have a favourite, you know, but the Elfstones of Shannara by Terry Brooks is probably close. 13. you have the opportunity to keep any animal as a pet, what would you choose: any animal, you say... snow leopards are hands down my fave < 3 but if we’re going more like, normal critters, I’ve always loved cats. I’d love to adopt another but not until I know I’m settled/able to provide. (In the meantime... I am fostering kitties/trying to help them along to their furever homes qvqb!!) 14. top 5 fictional ships: ehhhh. i don’t really. ship much. I dunno. /shrug I kinda like lukanette tho it’s just. warm. lessee. what else. matthew x leila I guess? I’m not ride or die for any ships, really. (Like!! I will gladly listen to friends talk about the merits of their OTPs and don’t get me wrong, I love romance stuff-- but I've never really gone out of my way to hc pairings /shrug) 15. pie or cake: both. gimmme. (unless it’s sugar pie, then, That.) 16. favourite scent: freshly cut wood, or a nice fire burning in the pit in the backyard... the ocean breeze... my neighbours barbecuing delicious foodstuffs... vanilla... ;v; bliss 17. celebrity crush: don’t care much ‘bout celebrities :v younger me used to think matt dallas from kyle xy was p dang attractive tho. (why did they cancel it aaaaaa) 18. if you could travel anywhere, where would you go: anywhere and everywhere!! I’ think I’d like to go to Europe next, maybe backpack across it or smth. I’d love to do a Visit Friends tour of the US at some point. And I really really wanna go back to Japan, too. The world is so vast though... cool stuff to see everywhere. 19. introvert or extrovert: introverted? far less than I used to be but still nowhere near extroverted. 20. do you scare easily: eh. so-so.  21. iphone or android: iphone for now. probably trying android next phone I get though. . . 22. do you play any video games: yes. gimme them JRPGs. and smash bros. aaaaaaaa fight me 23. dream job: hahahahahhah dream job would be Not Having to Work 8) Nah but, definitely something in the creative field. That’s what all the career quizzes say i would need to feel happy and fulfilled, anyway <w< If I ever got off my butt and got good enough to make a living off my stories, comics or otherwise, that’d be the dream. Honestly, I don’t know what the future holds for me and at this point I’m almost scared to ask/find out! 24. what would you do with a million dollars: pay off my student loans, help my fam a bit, invest the vast majority!! (and later, I’d love to donate to causes I support), travel a bit!!! or a lot!! go back to school???? buy So Many damn commissions of my OCs, and... welllll... if I need to pay to get someone who will actually Help me with my injuries n mental health, then, that!!! Being pain free would be amazing. 25. fictional characters you hate: i don’t think i hate any characters? I tend to like a lot of the snarkier ones, aheh; 26. fandom that you were once apart of but aren’t any longer: fandoms are Scary 8) why can’t peeps just be nice to each other jkkhjakk;aasfd (that is to say, I don’t usually partake -- ferp stuffs is probably the most i’ve done so)
tagged by: :v tagging: anyone!
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nodesiretogrowup · 5 years
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ok, time for a semi-thought out review-spoilers below
I knew that the captain badge thingy Lunaris gave Penny (I shall use this nickname because her name is too damn long) was some type of control device. That scene reminded me too much of Mark giving Gizmoduck that Waddle badge for it to just be a coincidence.
I am LIVING for Lunaris’ dramatic, theatrical voice! He is 100% THAT BITCH
HERE’S HOW PHOOEY DUCK CAN STILL WIN
You know you’re in for a good time when Dewey and Webby team up. I guess old men in Disney shows CAN’T have models in bottles. 
The different family members that Scrooge has pictures of all over are super sweet. No matter what he claims, Scrooge is a family man. 
It’s super cute that Huey was sending postcards. He’s a good boi.
I wonder if Donald’s head is that hard or if the cell walls are really soft.
I bet those visors on the helmets that go over the Moonlander’s eyes are some kind of mind-control devices
I think Lunaris WANTED Donald and Penny to find his secret war room. He sensed her hesitation. Plus if Donald was SO IMPORTANT TO him, Lunaris probably would have taken Donald to the mines personally.
You like Della don’t you, Penny? *smug Spongebob face*
Dewey is 110% THAT BITCH. He and Drake need to hangout sometime.
“We’re both the bad cop.” Webby, sweetie...
Dew-tective. Dewey is pun-sexual
Donald/Cheesy Postcards is otp. But who is he sending those cheesy postcards to? Or does he just collect them?
 The lighting in the noir scene was AMAZING.
Oh Webby, you were so close
“He’s your uncle too.” “WHAT CASE?!” I love my red son.
Poor Donald. It’s not his fault he’s so squishy. We can’t all be Darkwing Duck tough.
Gibbous is lucky to have Zenith. I want more of the two of them. They are adorable
“Almost pleasurable to hit” ...no comment. Also Donald makes the same sound as Spongebob when he’s hit. Therefor Donald must be part sponge and that is how he can take so much damage.
“Inflicting pain is fun!”-Frank’s motto
“This is your moment, Gibbous.”
THAT WINK! MY LITTLE BI HEART COULDN’T HANDLE IT!
Penny’s directions are HORRIBLE. I hope she never has to lead anyone else anywhere.
Their plan was SUCH a kid logic plan. I LOVE IT.
The mailwoman is GORGEOUS AND I LOVE HER.
“Bill, bill, bill. Man, being an adult is not fun.” I feel personally attacked
I think Mr. Jones could have worded his letter better. Also, I keep getting bills from my therapist even though I already paid them so that hit close to home as well.
Donald is too thicc for the vent system.
This scene has THE BEST DONLAD FACES EVER!
The moon scorpion is ADORABLE and I LOVE IT. I bet that little guy is gonna give Donald his superpowers. It followed Donald and helped him out when he was (sometimes literally) in a tight spot.
 I WANT TO CUDDLE WITH DONALD!
“Oooo, seedy.” Webby, hon, we need to talk. Dewey in the background freaking out over the roach was great.
Dewey, darling, you do not have spy skills. We still love you anyway.
Webby is 200% THAT BITCH. I feel like the fake backstory was probably a reference to something but I’m not sure what. The locket thing made me think of Anne. Webby is COMMITTED to her backstories.
DO NOT TOUCH! (DEWEY!!) What has Dewey done with that uniform to warrant such a warning?
Dewey, there is a time and place for your own theme song. This was neither.
Webby, please never change.
Donald’s file is as dummy thicc as he is. I hate myself.
I DEMAND A PLUSH OF DT17 DONALD. NOW.
Donald has entered DAD MODE (™)
I wish Donald would gently rock me to sleep. And tuck me in. And give me a kiss on the cheek.
“Aw, phooey”-because you can’t say “Fuck me” on the Disney Channel
MOONY TO THE RESCUE (I’ve named them and I am TOTALLY ATTACHED/EMOTIONALLY BONDED WITH THEM). 
DAT ASS
Would beds made of gold be comfortable?
DANCE, DONALD, DANCE
“Help me look for them. But DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING.” Penny, you need to work on your leadership skills.
I wish we could get a closer look at Lunaris’ “Most Dangerous” list. The man is thorough. Organization goals. 
I didn’t see Beakley, Webby, or Launchpad on there. Darkwing isn’t on there either, but he’s brand new so that one makes sense.
It made me very happy to see Lunaris continue to get beat up. Not as tough as you act, ya bastard. And he’s a dumbass for not using the dummy first, then testing on one of the moon mites, and ENDING with himself. Do you even science, bro?
The pic of Donald with the eggs warmed my heart. :’)
It’s adorable that Dewey thinks that he’s a detective/spy and that he could get the jump on anyone, much less Webby.
LET THE POOR DUCK HAVE A BREAK! HASN’T HE SUFFERED ENOUGH?!
HOW DARE THAT BASTARD HURT MY MOON WIFE!
“Great victory comes with great sacrifice.” I do NOT like the sound of that.
DONALD IS A DETERMINED MOTHER FUCKER.
I really feel like Donald is the best fighter in the show. Even when he’s in pretty bad shape, Donald can take a punch without getting KO’d. He’s good at evading hits. Jim and Drake may be able to take more damage, but Donald can avoid getting hurt in the first place. Well, at least in a fight.
Lunaris is what Magica and Glomgold think they are. He’s cold, calculating, and organized. He can get inside someone’s head to find out how they work. He knows a person’s emotional weakness and will dig into it. I think Donald might end up throwing off his game because Donald reacts much differently to emotional stress than most. Others breakdown and are at their most vulnerable. But Donald channels the emotions into energy and is arguably at his most powerful.
I think Webby may have a problem remembering what is real and what she made up.
Dewey might have the same problem.
Scrooge, you need to accept the you are old. OLD AS BALLS.
The #1 therapist mug is great. I also like that they once again took a character from the comics and gave them an upgrade. Though Mr. Jones seems like he should be in anger management as well.
If we needed anymore proof that Donald is a FUCKING FORCE OF NATURE, Mr. Jones’ office gives us a pretty good idea of what Donald is capable of. Little guy can pack a punch.
That speech, man. That PERFECTLY explains who Donald is and why he does what he does. I cried when Mr. Jones was explain how much Donald loves his family overlayed with Donald himself backing up those words. POETIC CINEMA! T_T
Donald out-maneuvering Lunaris shows what Donald is best at-reading a situation and adjusting his tracticts/plan. He’s pretty good at thinking on his feet and unlike the majority of the other characters, Donald knows when he’s out-matched. That’s why he and Della were such a good team. Della was the brawn while Donald was the brains.
DONALD IS TOO STUBBORN TO DIE. And Moony is soooo in there with him.
“There goes the bravest man on two worlds.” Truer words have never been spoken. He might be the most stubborn as well. 
SCROOGE, YOU CALLOUS CORKSCREW DICK! YOU ARE PROBABLY THE CAUSE OF 90% OF THAT ANGER. YOU SHOULD PAY.
“Because he loves us.” I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING!
Y’all were SO CLOSE!
The look Scrooge gets when he’s listening to Donald’s message, he KNOWS something is up.
Donald is off to Canada (old SU meme is old.
Seriously though, Scrooge is kind of a prick in this episode. He brushes off a lot of stuff about Donald, like the therapy. I hope this is leading to something like Grunkle Stan and Dipper, that Scrooge is hard on Donald because he sees a lot of himself in his nephew. Both have anger issues and both have unique speech pattern. I’m sure Scrooge has dealt with people not being understand him due to his accent many times.
I like that they didn’t make a joke out of Donald receiving therapy. If this were an “adult” show, the show/characters would probably mock Donald for going. But here it’s presented as a good thing and that Donald is mature and a good person for reaching out for help. The fact that he did it to be a better parent...SO PURE AND WHOLESOME. DONALD IS BEST DAD! 
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Pure (Red Daughter x Morgana AU) 
Lena brings books -- mountains upon mountains of books -- to the DEO, and Red Daughter pleads for Morgana to read them to her, because her voice is beautiful – rich, like wind through the fir trees back in Kaznia, she says.
Sometimes Red Daughter speaks to her of Lex, and all he was to her, and her voice becomes small and broken when she remembers that all of it was a lie
The Kryptonian hates the name Red Daughter now, she winces every time she hears it, as if it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. So Morgana calls her by a different name.
Katya, the name suits her, Morgana thinks, and the Kryptonian smiles widely – her smile a brilliant living thing on her face – when Morgana tells her the meaning of the name. Pure.
AU in which Morgana is Lena’s “dead” twin, who was turned radioactive with Kryptonite by one of Lex’s experiments. 
Look, these babies both deserve a happy ending, okay, and I need Red Daughter to live
So, I’m still a little pissed about how they “resolved” the Red Daughter storyline, so of fucking course, I made an AU, and I gave her her own OTP, cos baby girl deserves it.
This AU has 3 different versions. And in each one of them, I gave Lena a twin (before you dismiss it, hear me out):
In this version, I made her twin Morgana.  Yes, Morgana is the other half of this OTP in this AU, cos she also deserves a good ending.
I deliberately didn’t change her name to an “L” name for this one. (I actually named Lena “Magdalena” in this to match Morgana but that’s unimportant, except for the fact that Alex teases her mercilessly about it when she finds out).
So, Lena and Morgana are twins, but Morgana “dies” when they’re around 16 or so.
Morgana is “the forgotten Luthor” (I hc an article Kara found on her with this title when she was researching the Luthor family history when she first became friends with Lena). There’s very little information to be found on her.
Lena and Morgana were close growing up, sharing secrets and ideas, keeping each other safe in the treacherous waters of Luthor family life.
Morgana was the more outgoing one, charming, the one who easily adapted to their luxurious lifestyle in elite social circles.
Lena was more quiet, the one who got her knuckles rapped for reaching a little too eagerly at the table, who always got the disdainful look from Lillian (“Straighten up, Lena! Luthors don’t slouch!”)
In bed at night, Lena cries into Morgana’s shoulder, and Morgana tucks a stray hair behind her ear. “It’s a show, Lena. It’s all a show, like the ones we used to put on for Mum, remember? We just have to give them a good show.”
Growing up, Lex tries the same psychological tactics with Morgana as he did with Lena. Y’know, belittling her inventions and all that.
EXCEPT for this one invention she made when she was 16 that he realized would be helpful in eradicating Superman.
See at around this time, Lex has already starting to get obsessed with ridding the world of the “Kryptonian menace”. He had just started making his synthetic Kryptonite, but it was too unstable to use.
When he finds out about Morgana’s breakthrough he immediately starts trying to manipulate her into giving it to him
Her invention is Inception. Yeah, going-into-a-person’s-subconscious-and-manipulating-their-perception-of-reality Inception
Lex figures that he can use Inception to bring down Superman, because as Morgana later tells Kara and Red Daughter “Even Kryptonians dream.”
Morgana, who is about 16 at the time, realizes Lex’s plan and realizes how determined he is to get a hold of Inception (in one other version of this that includes Gwen, Arthur and Merlin, it involves isolating Morgana from her friends and killing off Arthur, but that’s a long and complicated story no one wants to hear)
Morgana attempts to foil Lex’s plan by destroying all of her research on Inception, as well as the machine she used for it.
Inception only exists in Morgana’s mind now, and since no amount of manipulation will make Morgana yield to Lex’s plan, he eventually kidnaps her and keeps her captive in one of his labs.
Basically Lex tries experimenting on her and torturing her so she’ll give him Inception.
One of his experiments involved injecting her with some of his concentrated Kryptonite stock. Like the pure stuff, actual Kryptonite from Krypton. He did it to see how the human body would process it and if it could be synthesized, since he failed in synthesizing his own Kryptonite
The end result is that Morgana literally becomes radioactive. Like how radiation chemo makes people radioactive but WORSE. She literally can’t touch anyone. Because in this AU Kryptonite is harmful to humans too.
Which is why when Morgana eventually escapes Lex’s lab she doesn’t go back to the person she cares about most, Lena.
Lena doesn’t know about any of this. All she knows is that her sister died in a failed experiment. The family has a quiet funeral, Lena is the only one who cries and stays at the graveside.
Lillian scolds her in contempt “Luthors do not cry, Lena.”, and tries to get her in the car. But for the first time, Lena is immovable. She doesn’t wipe her tears or compose herself like a lady. She just kneels in the dirt and shakes with quiet sobs. Lillian finally leaves her there
Fast forward years later, to when Lex eventually goes to prison and Lena takes over L-Corp.
During this time, Morgana has been living almost completely isolated all these years, because of her radioactivity.
She does have one ally. I don’t remember if Daxamites are immune to Kryptonite (tbh I didn’t really pay attention to that part of the show), but let’s say they are.
Morgana uses a Daxamite, Mor-Dred to conduct most of her business with the outside world (yes, that Mordred). Her house has been safeguarded for her radioactivity, and most of her business is conducted within it. On the rare occasions when she does have to go out, she wears special lead-lined clothing.
Fast forward to Red Daughter running amok disguised as Supergirl under Lex’s orders. I’m just gonna disregard the ending they did for Red Daughter, cos it pisses me off.
Morgans reveals to Lena and the rest of the DEO that she’s alive, and volunteers to stop Red Daughter since she is pretty much Kryptonite on two legs.
The Kryptonite weakens Red Daughter, and they manage to capture her. But since Lex brainwashed her, she’s still under his influence, so Morgana uses Inception to find out exactly what Lex told her so she can undo his work, she uses Inception to implant the doubt in Red Daughter’s mind.
Kara decides to help reprogram Red Daughter from her brainwashing, and convinces the DEO to let her stay in the facility.
Morgana is another problem, however. Since she is literally the Supers’ weakness and toxic to everyone else, the DEO refuses to let her run around free. They keep her in a lead-lined cell, “for everyone’s safety ”
Lena, Alex and Supergirl try to protest but to no avail. Morgana is kept in the cell across from Red Daughter.
At first, she only talks to the Kryptonian because she’s trying to see the effects of the idea she implanted in her during Inception. If the doubt she’d sown was enough to undo Lex’s brainwashing.
It’s there, she finds, and Red Daughter is susceptible to deprogramming.
So Morgana decides to stay for a while (cos let’s face it, Morgana being Morgana AND a Luthor in this AU the only reason she stayed in that cell was because she chose to; if Lex couldn’t keep her contained, what chance did the DEO have?)
Morgana tells herself it’s because it’s nice to have company again after years of self-imposed isolation, necessary though it might be. It’s also nice to be able to see her sister every day again, even if it’s through lead infused glass
But she’s beginning to enjoy the other Kryptonian’s presence. She’s a clever one, this Red Daughter. So curious and eager to learn, so very lovely in her earnestness. She listens so intently to Morgana’s stories of the world she doesn’t know, not knowing that Morgana herself hasn’t known the world in many years.
Lena brings books, mountains and mountains of books, and Red Daughter pleads for Morgana to read them to her, because her voice is beautiful – rich, like wind through the fir trees, she says.
Sometimes Red Daughter speaks to her of Lex, and all he was to her, and her voice becomes small and broken when she remembers that all of it was a lie.
The Kryptonian hates the name Red Daughter now, she winces every time she hears it, as if it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. So Morgana calls her by a different name.
Katya, the name suits her, Morgana thinks, and the Kryptonian smiles widely – her smile a brilliant living thing on her face – when Morgana tells her the meaning of the name. Pure.
(I literally can’t with the name “Linda”. I cannot write smut with “Linda”. So she’s Katya now)
But eventually, Morgana knows it’s time to go. Captivity is acid to her soul. She’s lived through it once, and she won’t go through it again. A life of hiding and isolation may be lonely and dangerous, but it’s her own.
As she leaves, she turns to Katya, the closest she’s made to a friend in all these years – even closer than Mor-Dred – and takes pity on her, the beautiful broken Snowbird, betrayed by a Luthor and stashed away like a toy the world would rather forget about.
Morgana frees her. And there’s a moment, just before the cell doors open, when Katya – lovely Katya with her pure, earnest eyes – asks Morgana to take her with her.
Morgana meets those eyes, and a voice inside her whispers “Maybe…. maybe…”
But then the doors open, and the moment glass parts and Morgana steps closer, glowing green veins begin to creep over Katya’s face, and she begins to wince involuntarily at the pain.
And Morgana shakes her head at her own folly, her own wishful thinking.
She presses a kiss to Katya’s cheek, and Katya hisses in pain despite herself.
Morgana draws back regretfully. She smiles wryly and pulls away “it’s been a pleasure, zvyozdochka.” (Little star)
Morgana goes underground, since she’s effectively a fugitive again (She has some safehouses prepared in case something like this happens, but they’re not as radiation-proof as her home).
Kara finds out Katya escaped, and takes her in to hide her from the DEO. But eventually, Katya runs away. To find Morgana.
(I have a vague scene in my head where Katya, poor Katya who has no social filter and doesn’t know to conceal or label her feelings, confesses them to Morgana)
“I was so lonely without you. Kara tried, she helped, and Lena visited me everyday  - but they’re not you. When I’m around you, yes, I’m in pain, but that is nothing to the pain I felt without you. It hurt. It hurt so much, Morgana. Why does it hurt so?”
Morgana tries hard to keep herself cold, to harden herself against Katya’s sincerity.
“Didn’t you learn your lesson from Lex? We Luthors are not made to love. He poisoned your mind, and I am built to poison your body. The love of a Luthor is a wicked thing. You should know this by now, Katya. We bring more harm than joy to the ones we love.”
Katya shakes her head vehemently, tears running down her face. “I don’t care. I don’t care! If you feel the same way, – if being with me makes you feel as warm and light as being with you makes me feel, if you hurt as much as I do when we’re not together – I don’t care about anything else.”
Katya takes Morgana’s face in her hands and presses their foreheads together. Immediately, green starts to snake over her face, seeping into her eyes. She doesn’t have her strength because of the Kryptonite, and it’s almost easy for Morgana to wrench her hands away.
“You may not care about yourself getting hurt, but I do. I won’t be the reason for your pain.” And she walks out and puts as much distance between them as she can in the safehouse.
Also, I hc that Morgana likes to keep her hair long and curly (which is how people used to tell her apart from Lena because Lena has straight hair). And despite her radioactivity and the traces of Kryptonite in her hair, her long tresses are Morgana’s one point of vanity that she refused to chop off after being tainted by Kryptonite. Her one indulgence in a life of restraint and control.
Katya sees it long and loose once while they’re at the safehouse.
She can tell Morgana is inside the room, the telltale Kryptonite churning of her stomach alerting her to the other woman’s proximity. Even muted by the lead lined walls, it’s still enough for her organs to want to expel their contents. But the sick sensation is almost welcome after the hollow emptiness she’d felt without the other woman.
Katya moves closer to the room when she sees the door is open a crack, fighting the nausea and the beginnings of acid in her blood.
Morgana is standing at the foot of her bed, clearly still getting ready for the day. Her high-necked blouse and her signature black gloves are still on the bed.
She’s clad in nothing but her skirt and bra, but Katya can’t even see the rest of her body because it’s covered by the living black mass that is Morgana’s hair
She’s only ever seen Morgana’s hair up, always meticulously arranged in an elegant but severe updo that doesn’t hint at the wild beautiful tresses on display right now. It makes her want to see it all the time in its untamed, uncurated state, flowing unchecked down Morgana’s shoulders and back.
It makes her want to bury her hands in the black mass - as surprising and mysterious as the woman herself. She wants to feel the texture of each curl and strand, to discover the secrets buried in the rich darkness.
It’s only the tendrils of sick glowing green that snake up from her fingers up her arm that stop her reaching out her hand to open the door and just touch.
Instead she watches Morgana slowly gather her hair and painstakingly curate each curl. She’s just as lovely with her hair up, but it paints a sadness in the center of Katya’s chest, like an ink blot spreading, that it’s even necessary, that she’s forced to hide this part of herself.
Of course, since I need a happy ending, Morgana eventually gets cured.
In one version of the AU, they discover Lex knows a way to extract the Kryptonite from her system, and Morgana uses Inception to find out how to do it. While inside his mind, she also implants an idea in him. Three days later, they find him dead with a gun in his mouth and a bullet in his brain.
When Morgana gets cured, Katya is right there beside her. She’s the first person Morgana touches (in like 10 fucking years).
It starts as a soft, tentative touch at first – gloves are removed and trembling fingertips touch Katya’s palm – but Katya being essentially Kara is super tactile and it ends up being the tightest embrace Morgana can remember. She ends up breaking down and crying.
Also, in this AU, Lena finds out that Kara is Supergirl through Inception. When Morgana first enters Katya’s subconscious, she takes Lena with her (kinda like how Kara took Lena and Alex to Juru), and it’s revealed that Katya knew about Kara’s identity.
Like in the show, Lena doesn’t reveal to Kara that she knows. Instead, she slowly separates herself from Kara and begins isolating herself, ashamed of how she’s let herself be fooled, of how much she’d revealed, how much sentiment she’d let herself indulge in.
Morgana doesn’t let her. “You think you know what it’s like to be truly alone, Lena? You have no idea. For years, I lived with no other company but my own shadow. No human contact. I haven’t touched another person in ten years because my very skin is poison. I’ve lived in the shadows, in unease, afraid of killing someone, or Lex killing me. You may think you’ve got no one, but look around you -- you have a family, Lena! The one thing we never thought we’d truly have again outside of each other. And it’s a family that loves you, that cares for you. Yes, she lied! The woman you love -- don’t even bother denying it -- lied to you, for years! Perhaps she did it for a good reason, perhaps her reasons aren’t good enough. You’re allowed to be angry about that -- rage, cry, scream all you want! But don’t isolate yourself. You still have a choice, I don’t. I know what it’s like not to have the luxury of that choice. Don’t choose to be alone.”
Eventually, Lena forgives Kara (but that’s a story for another time).
_____________
By SorrowsFlower
I just really needed a nice happy ending for my baby Red Daughter, also my baby Morgana. So here it is. Sort of. What am I gonna do for the rest of the hiatus???
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