#or maybe sending an ask idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 11 months

Text

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

1K notes · View notes

pixlokita · 2 months

Text

Aight 😔

#I do not control the chemistry of the characters #anyway I didn’t want to say anything directly it’s like it about beckory 👉👈 I keep getting the asks but can’t answer them anymore because #…. BECAUSE GREL IS BETTER AAAAA #they were always hanging out in the story TTwTT idk #but yeah I’m just not gonna focus on shipping Greg with anyone anymore tho 😭😭😭 like only maybe Ellis when he’s older because #ye ;w; rn my main ship just Jeremike and fronnie #you can send asks of that 👌 but no more beckory pls ;v; it’s a cute ship fr and there’s so many lovely arts of it too ✨I just need a break 🙏#pix habla #fnaf

348 notes · View notes

trans-axolotl · 22 days

Text

content note: discussion of suicide.

this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.

when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.

there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.

as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.

i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.

i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.

there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.

i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.

Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]

(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)

#personal #suicide tw #suicide mention tw #psych abuse tw #psych ward tw #ok to reblog if u want #psych abolition #mad liberation #psych survivor #it's a lot of grief hours over here and will be for a while all week i think #lots of grief so many ways this year for so many people #but this week. his memory . my grief for him #is hitting especially hard. i think partially because of all the transitions in my life. i'm graduating college. he will never become an ad #adult.#i think i might ask my roommates if they will go do something to remember him with me. maybe making origami cranes and sending them off in #the river. or writing things down and burning them #idk. grief is hard #six years in grief is different. but hard

267 notes · View notes

dizzybizz · 16 days

Text

al lsasints steret 🥺

i lvoe alll saints stereettttrahghghhhh

119 notes · View notes

daydream-draws · 5 months

Text

some of my faves,,,,,

(click for better quality)

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #sophie foster #keefe sencen #maruca chebota #sorry for not posting art for a while I’m rusty on digital #and traditional tbh :’(#I have been so busy jeez but the semester is almost over #and idk I’m just not that into keeper as I was when I started this account but I’m scared to post other fandom work #bc the things I’m into now are too like. big idk their fandoms scare me #so maybe day oc work to come???#I’ll stop blabbering in the tags I’ve missed this place but idk I’ll catch up w ppl once I like 😭#have time #feel free to send asks or dms tho :]#I’m trying to stop being so lurky here lol #also still have not read stellarlune so hashtag fake fan ig #my art

212 notes · View notes

can-of-slorgs · 22 days

Text

Completed the Shenkuu Stamp collection some time ago, so it was only fair to draw my girl Mirsha

#neopets #neotag #neoart #vin doods #gnorbu #drawing this was actually really fun in a way that when i was looking for references i didn't know she was such a lesbian icon #not surprised but hey lets cheer for the lesbian alpaca!#I'm not as happy with the colors as I thought #I'm a bit rusty in just really warm colors without it looking burnt for some reason HJSD #but looking at pictures of AC teams have made me really fall into my old virtupets fix #i love everyone so much on that team and not really that many ppl play for it #i still remember winning a long long time ago and was completely blown away as it was basically just 5 ppl in a forum going mad #i just really love the designs of most of the players on all groups??#i don't even like playing in the AC that much i just love the characters LMFAOO #i think i still remember I drew fanart of Sela and the gelert from the darigan team when i was like 8-9 and submitting in onto deviantart #and getting hate comments probably like 8 years later because i missed his wings or i made them too small or sth #that was hilarious thinking about it now but it did made me hate the darigan team for that year SDHFKSD #ok this is too long it always ends up wit me just rambling #I love my boy XL Striker 3.8 and Sela #ok nobodys reading uhhhh #send me an ask with the weirdest emoji out of context if you've read this far tbh nobody cares by this point HJSKSFD #idk if ill draw someone for the AC team everytime i complete a stamp collection but if i'm feeling like it maybe #or if they're requested tecnically #thats it bye

113 notes · View notes

tj-crochets · 18 days

Text

So I have had a ridiculous amount of fun this last week plushifying art and throwing my usual crafting rules out the window as I did so*, and I think I want to make plushifying art a more regular thing? I'm not sure how best to do that, though. Should I make a post that's like "reblog this if you want your art turned into plushies", or "reblog this with links to art you want turned into plushies" or suggest a tag that people can add to art they want plushified, and then I go through the tag when I want to make some plushies? *no paper patterns, just drawing directly on the fabric so each plushie is one of a kind

#the person behind the yarn #I can't guarantee I'll make all of them #some things are harder to plushify than others #whether for skill level concerns or 3D object concerns or just don't have that fabric concerns #(for the life of me I haven't been able to find purple faux fur)#also when I plushify art the artist always gets first dibs on the plushie #and I am almost always more than happy to send the artist the plushies #either in exchange for an art trade #or if no trade I usually just ask if they are willing to cover the cost of shipping?#if it's got some bought-for-that-project supplies I miiiight ask if they're willing to cover that specific cost #but that would be like. if I had to buy beads and used them all up making the thing #and maybe for more labor intensive plushies??? idk how detailed some of these might be #most of the time it's either art trades or the cost of shipping

39 notes · View notes

moongothic · 4 months

Note

So I'm confused about something. There was a cover story about Ms Goldenweek and other Baroque works agents breaking Crocodile out of prison but he just. Told them no? And stayed there with Mr 1 and Mr 2? I don't get why he wanted to go to Impel Down just to break out when he had the chance

I can't tell you 100% why Crocodile chose to stay in prison and go to Impel Down, but my best guess really is that he was just...

Taking the L with grace

More specifically. Crocodile had lost everything. I think deep inside he might've been literally too depressed to want to go free again.

Like he does literally say that. He gave up.

He had been building his reputation as "the Hero of Alabasta" for at least 10 years at this point. He had built not just a criminal organization that he had been running for four years, but also he had been running legal business stuff (like his casino) for probably longer than that. A decade's worth of work and effort to take over a country, and most importantly, get away with it. The reason he had orchestrated that whole rebellion was so that the rebels and the royal family could "take each other out", leaving the country wide open for a World Government Official such as himself to take up. The reason Baroque Works was doing this all in secret was so that the WG never found out, otherwise they wouldn't have let him have Alabasta.

But indeed, his plans were foiled by a kid in flipflops in less than 24 hours, just at the final moment before Crocodile would win. He lost everything. And the World Government found out about what he had been planning.

So even if he escaped from that prison with his former agents, what was he going to do?

He wouldn't be able to take over Alabasta anymore because he did not have manpower (as he had lost all his goons), and having lost his financial empire he wouldn't be able to build a new army any time soon. And even if he did, now that they knew what he had done the people of Alabasta would not accept him as their new king, even if he personally assasinated Cobra and the entire family. Not to mention, the WG finding out about his plans meant that they had every fucking reason to try and stop Crocodile if he did as much as set foot on that island again. By which I mean, they could launch a Buster Call on his ass. Send all the fucking Admirals after him. And so, even if Crocodile still believed Pluton was somewhere in Alabasta and that he just had to comb through the entire desert to find it... Between the Alabastan people and the WG in the way, finding Pluton would not be easy. Especially when Robin wouldn't even be there to just point him directly to it. It could take years, if not decades, while fighting off the WG by himself. And that's while assuming Pluton was somewhere in Alabasta. Like WE the readers now know Pluton is in Wano, but since Robin didn't tell him that. All Robin said was that the Poneglyph "didn't mention the weapon", and Cobra's reaction to the name merely proved the weapon's existence in Crocodile's mind. But surely, because Crocodile is a smart young man, he'd understand there was a risk that Pluton could exist, but just not be in Alabasta, right? Like that would be a possibility too, right?

I think this is why Crocodile has given up on Alabasta. He had one opportunity at seizing the country, and he failed. And without Robin, he could spend the rest of his life combing through a haystack for a needle when there's no needle, and he'd have no idea. I think is why he explicitly says in Impel Down he no longer has "interest in that country". He won't be able to pull off another stunt like this, ever.

And that leads us back to "why not escape earlier and avoid going to Impel Down to begin with". Thanks to his status as a Shichibukai, Crocodile hasn't been on the run from the WG for like two decades. And the past 10 or so years he has seemingly lived a life of luxury in his funny little casino. But now, having lost everything, he'd be back on the run. And because he's a world famous former "hero of the people", there would be nowhere he'd be able to go where people would not recognize him and send the marines after him. So he'd be on the run, for the rest of his life or until he'd get capture again. And mind you, the guy does not trust anyone, so he'd be on the run alone. Without any purpose or goal.

And you might be thinking, "Daz and the rest of BW was still there!", yeah, arguably true. But at this point Crocodile had no reason to trust any of them. Like personally, I think the reason Crocodile ended up taking a liking to Daz was BECAUSE he chose to follow him to Impel Down when he really did not have to. Like Daz showed an unusual level of loyalty to Crocodile, and I think Crocodile recognized that. That's why Daz is still with Croc, post-timeskip. But Miss Goldenweek and co? Crocodile had no reason to believe they wouldn't betray him if given a chance and a reason. And if the WG would come chasing his ass, they'd have plenty of reason to try and betray Croc (handing Crocodile over to spare their own lives). Not to mention, when they come release their former boss from jail, what did Miss Goldenweek say?

"Let's do Baroque Works again"

As I've already explained in detail, I think we might know why Crocodile wasn't interested in being Baroque Works' "boss" again.

So. Yeah. If in Crocodile's mind he'd be on the run from the Government for the first time in two decades all alone, in a situation where rebuilding what he had before would be bloody hard if not downright impossible, and he wouldn't be able to obtain what he had spent the last decade working for regardless...

Taking the L and just going to prison might've been the easier option

#Moon posting #Asks #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #Long post #Mind you Crocodile only *left* jail because he saw AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY for petty revenge #Like had it not been for that war bringing Whitebeard out he probably would not have bothered to try and fight WB again #Otherwise he could've just escaped prison with Goldenweek and co and travelled to the New World to fight the old man right away #((Also theoretically Crocodile might've been slightly suicidal with the ''taking WB's head'' thing))#Also worth noting that Crocodile choosing to stay in prison could've had two other purposes re:the former agents #It could've been a test of loyalty (to see if anyone would stay with him or would they all abandon him)#Which could be important to Mr Trust Issues (and to be fair he did find at least one loyal subordinate in Daz)#((Like if they had all told Croc they'd stay with him...... Who knows. Maybe he might've chosen to escape after all?))#Other option: Crocodile escaping with them would mean the agents would be in much more danger than they'd be without him #Like the WG wouldn't send tons of marines after the individual agents if they all scattered to the winds #But if they all stuck together they'd become a bigger target. And even more so if Crocodile was there to lead them #And like. IDK if Crocodile was willing to leave out Goldenweek from the assassination order and spare her... Maybe this was the same #Maybe he wanted to spare Goldenweek (and the rest?) from being put into danger by going with them?#I dunno man this reptile has far too many layers to him I can't tell what's going on in his head

60 notes · View notes

cursed-coat-of-homosexuality · 7 months

Note

how we feelin

(gif by @usermeggy)

pain. I feel pain

#i have so much thinky thoughts about this one it's killing me oh my god milo what have you done to me #sorry for taking so long. i eas planning on sorting out the thinkies and making a very long post abt it. but then life just kinda happened #and I won't be able to do it for a while. so anyway. just paaaaaian for now #ty for so much the ask!!!! i love receiving those little guys. it's like mail but fun and no supermarket ads #(you like receiving asks? bcs i have considered sending some silly stuff through there but get too scared to do it.#idk maybe there are people who dont enjoy receiving them. you just can't know)#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #tw suicide #cw: suicide ideation #cw: suicide #tw: suicide

125 notes · View notes

lirii-arts · 1 year

Photo

✨ Got dared a while back to draw Qifrey’s apprentices 10 years older, here’s the result!

#the future au everybody wants: gay people edition #witch hat atelier #coco witch hat atelier #agott arkrome #tetia #riche #I love how I have to specify coco is from wha and not from idk. the disney movie #I have Thoughts about what each one of them would do at 22/23 years old so please send an ask if you're interested! i'd love to expand on it #also the designs are all in chibi form because I think it'd die if I tried doing fullbodies #ryoart #Digital Illustration #wha #tongari boushi no atelier #i promise you i'm trying to tag everything LMAO #maybe I'll draw orufrey too...I should #character design #technically LMAO

188 notes · View notes

snippy-tano · 1 year

Note

See now I'm having a thought about Medic!reader who is on the tram with them and sees Tech fall. When they all wake up and Hunter ushers everyone to the ship, they stay behind and go looking for Tech and find him alive but seriously injured and unconscious.

They find a small cave and they hide out there until they know it's safe to comm someone to come and get them. Maybe Rex or Echo or Riyo🥺❤️

I just need reader softly taking care of Tech and him waking up like "you were supposed to leave."

And they say "I could never leave you."

Your choice whether the relationship is established or it's just hidden feeling that come out here❤️❤️❤️

Prooooooooooo

Thank you for this. This was incredibly therapeutic. I may have gotten carried away and y’all should let me know if I should continue this as like an actual fic. Because oooooh boy is it tempting.

Anyway, I hope you like it! And I hope this helps you just as much as it helped me lol

WARNING SPOILERS! THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR TBB S2 FINALE! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK :')

Masterlist is here!

Taglist is here!

Tagging: @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life; @marvel-starwars-nerd; @mackstrut; @dissapointingpancake; @ahsokatano-thetogruta; @welcometothepedroverse; @fractiouskat; @mandaloriandin; @bantha-shit; @badbatch-simp24; @katelynnwrites; @s1st3r; @leotatombs; @torchbearerkyle; @rain-on-kamino; @the-navistar-carol; @bombshe77; @arctrooper69; @social-mockingbird; @littlebluebatbrat; @get-wr3ckered; @dangraccoon

————————————————————————————————

Falling

Everything happened so fast, you almost thought it was all a dream. Or rather a nightmare.

One second you were helping provide cover as Tech worked to get the tram moving. The next he had fallen and Wrecker was working to pull him back up aboard the train.

“Don’t you do it, Tech.”

It was the pleading tone in Wrecker’s voice that had you turning from where you had taken cover. You were moving towards the back of the tram before anyone could stop you. You stopped just behind Omega and looked down to see Tech raise his head before raising his blaster.

A pit formed in your stomach as you began to panic.

No no no no no no no no

“When have we ever followed orders.”

Then he fired.

And you screamed, loudly and gutterly.

The tram jerked upright and took off, you stumbled against the wall, blinking slowly. You could hear the batch screaming at each other, but weren’t making out any of what they were saying. You only held onto your trembling hands, feeling like the edges of your vision were darkening rapidly.

You only caught the shout of needing to brace yourself, your instincts numbly forcing you to comply.

Then your vision really did go black.

When you came to, everything in your body ached. Your ribs protested every breath and you knew you were in rough shape. You gingerly lifted your head, seeing yourself surrounded by smoking wreckage.

Omega’s voice had you turning just in time to see her collapse. With a groan of effort, you climbed to your feet, hand pressing against your side. You met eyes with Hunter and he hesitated.

Please Hunter, I have to go back. You practically begged in your mind, hoping he would understand.

It looked like he was going to protest, likely saying that he couldn’t lose anyone else, but you couldn’t let him choose for you. You had to do this.

So you turned and ran as fast as your ribs would let you into the woods. You could hear Wrecker and Echo yell for you, but you didn’t stop. You’re honestly not sure how you managed to move so quickly and for so long, although you figured it was probably the adrenaline.

Eventually you fell to your knees, squeezing your eyes shut as a way of hopefully shutting out the pain. You had bacta patches in your med pack, but you refused to use any. If you found Tech and by some miracle of the Force he was alive, you knew he would need every patch you had.

After your vision cleared, you forced yourself back to your feet and continued walking in the direction of your best guess as to where Tech fell. You weren’t running anymore, but you kept a good pace, knowing that the Empire would be out looking for Tech very soon.

If you found him, you had to move quickly.

Eventually, you found what looked like wreckage from the tram. Your heart began to pound as you began to pick through it, looking for any sign of Tech.

Then you saw it. Armor.

You swallowed your nerves and forced air into your lungs as you stepped over the smoking debris. The running of water nearby and the sound of your own haggard breathing was all you could hear. You knelt beside Tech, hand hesitating. His helmet was gone and he definitely looked like he had fallen from a great distance, but it was hard to tell if he was still alive.

You pressed your fingers against the side of his neck, praying to every god or deity you knew about, begging them that he would be alive. For a few agonizing seconds, you felt nothing.

And then you felt it, the very gentle thump of his heart beat. It was weak, incredibly so, but he was alive. You almost burst into tears right then and there, but you knew the Empire was on their way if not already almost here.

You had to move. Now.

Tech was bigger than you, but you had to move him and fast. You stripped off a few pieces of armor, tossing them closer to the large river that you were near. Maybe the Empire would think he fell into the water and go searching further down the river. It would hopefully buy you both some time. Then you sat him up, placed his arms over your shoulders and stood up.

He was by no means a small man. He may be the “skinniest” in the Batch, but he was still built like a soldier, which meant that he was an incredible deadweight. Your legs shook from the effort, but you managed to hold him steady.

His helmet and goggles were missing, but you didn’t have time to go looking for them. Your sole focus was getting the both of you out of there and to a relatively safe location as fast as you could. Tech had injuries that needed to be tended to immediately. In any normal situation, you wouldn’t have moved him for fear of a neck or back injury. But you didn’t have that option.

After a quick feel of his neck, it didn’t seem like anything was broken, which was good enough for you.

You moved through the clearing, stepping around debris as best you could. Thankfully the ground wasn’t wet or muddy, so the likelihood of footprints being left behind were small. But still, you zigzagged as much as you dared, stepping where there were already indents in the grass in an effort to conceal your path.

You were two klicks away when you heard Imperial ships zoom just above the tree line over you. For one horrifying second you thought they were going to spot you, but they continued on, heading the direction you had just come from. The burning in your ribs became background noise as you tightened your grip on Tech’s arms and began to move faster.

You had been walking for what felt like hours. Every inch of your body was burning with effort and breathing was becoming more difficult. But you somehow kept going. You knew Tech was still hanging on because you could feel his soft puffs of breath against your neck. It was honestly the only thing keeping you going.

The way you carried him was far from ideal. There were many other ways that are better for medic carries in a situation like this, but considering Tech was fully unconscious, the odds of getting him up across your shoulders were small. This was the best you could do in the situation you were presented.

The elevation began to increase and the burning in your legs only intensified. You stumbled once, your heart leaping into your throat. But you managed to keep a hold of Tech and when you could breathe again, you continued walking.

As the light in the sky started to dim, you stumbled across a cave. It was hidden from the air from all the tree cover. You almost didn’t see it from the ground due to the high bushes and brush covering the entrance. It was far from ideal, but once again, it was likely the best you could do.

You only hoped there were no creatures inside who had the same idea you did.

The bushes cut into your pants as you forced your way inside, but those were minor scrapes, you had much more pressing injuries that needed tending to on Tech. You moved further into the cave, hoping to get far enough that when you started a small fire, it wouldn’t be spotted from outside. The cave had a bend and you rounded it, blinking in the darkness. Your eyes quickly adjusted and you could see that the cave continued on to the right, but there was a wall running along the back. It would do well for hiding the two of you.

Your legs shook from overuse as you carefully kneeled, turning Tech so you could gently place him on the ground. For a few seconds, you hunched over, breathing heavily.

Your entire body ached, from both the crash and the effort of carrying so much deadweight as far as you did. Your ribs made every inhale and exhale remarkably painful and you breathed as even as you could to try and lessen the pain.

When you were sure your vision was cleared, you yanked off your medpack and began to pull everything out. You pulled out a small orb and hit it, bathing the corner of the cave in a soft light. You grabbed a small flashlight and leaned over Tech, lifting up his eyelids and flashing the light. His pupils dilated as they should, which was a good sign.

You set the light down and began to search him for injuries. You scanned him and found he had a lot of broken bones, but thankfully no internal bleeding. It was a relief.

You fell into an easy trance, pulling off his armor and placing bacta patches on his worst injuries and splinting where you needed. You very quickly ran out of bacta patches, but still did your best to set everything so the bones would heal properly. When you were truly out of supplies, you covered him up with a shock blanket, placing your jacket underneath his head.

You brushed a hand across his cheek, beyond thankful that he was alive and you had been quick enough to find him.

Your troubles were far from over. You were still trapped on this planet with a severely injured trooper and your own injuries. You couldn’t stay here until you both healed, but neither of you were in any shape to fight your way out right now. You could try to call for help, but there was always a chance of it being intercepted and you both being caught anyways.

You’d have to wait for Tech to wake up to call for help. Hopefully he would be able to think of ideas on how you can get out of your predicament. But for now, you both needed to get some rest.

You wanted to lay down, but you knew once you did that you were not getting up again for a while. So you climbed to your feet and grabbed a small silent alarm you kept in your med pack before heading to the mouth of the cave around the corner. You gathered some wood from just outside the cave and set the alarm before pushing through the brush and fluffing it back up once inside.

The small fire you made didn’t take long to start.

You would have to go out for more wood very soon, but at least for now there would be some warmth for the both of you. You found a spare roll of gauze at the bottom of your pack and got to work pulling off your own armor until you were only covered by one layer of clothing. Painstakingly, you wrapped the gauze around your abdomen.

It wouldn’t do much for the broken bones, but at least you had some support. They were crudely wrapped, but it was the best you could do for now.

When you finished, you eased yourself onto the cold cave floor. Your entire body hurt and was trying to lull you into sleep. But with Tech still unconscious, you knew that someone had to stay awake.

So you started talking.

At first you talked through medical triage. You walked yourself through your training manual that you basically had memorized at this point. Then you talked through a few specific procedures you had learned along the way as a combat medic. Then when you ran out of that, you started to talk about your life. You talked about your home planet, your family, how you grew up, your hopes and dreams then, your hopes and dreams now, how you ended up joining the GAR, your first mission with the Batch and how quickly you’d come to love them like family.

You were just beginning to talk about a holodrama you and Omega were in the process of watching when you heard movement.

You stopped talking and looked over at Tech. He wasn’t awake yet, but he was starting to stir. As quickly as your ribs would allow, you sat up and moved over to where he was laying. You adjusted the blanket covering him and hovered, watching as his eyes slowly flickered open.

His eyes widened and he started to sit up, but you placed your hands on his shoulders and forced him back down.

“It’s okay. You’re safe, relatively speaking. But you have a lot of injuries, so you shouldn’t move.” You said and he blinked, taking a few deep breaths.

“You are correct. I will take your advice and remain from moving.” He replied and you let out a breath, relaxing ever so slightly. You reached forward, pulling the blanket so it more fully covered him.

“You were supposed to leave.” Tech said quietly and you let out a sigh.

You knew he was going to bring it up eventually, you had just hoped it wouldn’t be almost immediately after waking up. It shouldn’t surprise you though, this was Tech you were talking about.

You played with a seam on your sleeve that had torn in the crash. “I could never leave you.”

Silence fell for a moment and you let out a breath. Everything about this mission had gone wrong from the moment you set foot on this planet. More than anything you wished it had played out differently, but that is not what the galaxy had planned for you.

You knew Tech would likely scold you, saying the rest of the Batch’s wellbeing outweighs his own life. You knew that he was likely correct in that thinking. The needs of the many often outweigh the needs of the few.

But with Tech, you tended to throw all that out the window.

You had never admitted it to anyone before, but you’d always had a soft spot for him. It started out harmless enough. When you were assigned to work with the Batch, he was always the one that never really seemed to take care of himself. So as a medic, you took on that responsibility. You did it for all of them really, but Tech seemingly needed it the most.

Very quickly after that, your motives changed from just doing your medic duties to doing it because you cared. Then it shifted again to just plain affection. You had no idea when that grew into a crush, but it eventually did. You never said anything, and you never planned on saying anything. Your lives were all crazy enough as it is that there was no time.

And if today was any indication, it was too dangerous. Anything could happen to anyone.

Tech cleared his throat and you closed your eyes, waiting for him to tell you that you made the wrong choice.

He surprised you by placing his hand over yours.

Your eyes snapped up and you met his gaze. “Thank you. Without you, I shudder to think at what would have come of me.”

You let out a shaky breath, nodding. His hand gave yours a squeeze and made no move to let go. Not that you were complaining.

“How are you feeling? What’s your pain level?” You asked and he thought for a moment.

“I am feeling like I fell off a train.”

“Tech.”

“Apologizes. My pain is manageable. Thank you for providing me aid. Have you treated your injuries?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes. I have.”

“You shouldn’t lie to me, cyar’ika.”

You averted your eyes as your heart thumped in your chest. “I did what I had to do. Don’t worry about me, my injuries were minor. Now you need to get some rest. The more you sleep, the quicker your injuries will heal.

“I am not tired. I have been unconscious for some time now. You, on the other hand, need to rest as well. I will wake you in a few hours, I promise.” Tech insisted and you tried to formulate an argument, but you also knew if something happened, you would also need to be rested, especially as the one currently in the best health.

He must have sensed your resistance fading because he gave your hand another squeeze. “Get some rest. Please.”

You found yourself nodding before you could say no. Tech seemed pleased with himself, but you were too tired to care. You tried to hide your wince as you sank down to the floor, but it was hard to keep your face passive. Tech didn’t comment on it though, which you appreciated.

“Two hours Tech. Wake me up in two hours.”

His hand found yours again before giving it a squeeze. “I promise.”

You tried to fight your exhaustion, but it all hit you at once. You drifted to sleep with Tech’s warm hand tightly holding yours. You didn’t know what would happpen when you woke up, but Tech was alive and so were you.

And that was enough.

#aaaaah #let me know if this needs to continue #because I'm kinda feeling like it does #like idk maybe i speculate on how s3 would go in a perfect world?#idk idk idk #anyway #hope you all love this and it helps in your healing journey :))#as we're all grieving send me any tech asks #could be requests or that you just wanna chat about him #i'm here for y'all #asks #askBri #tech x reader #the bad batch #tbb #the bad batch spoilers #tbb s2 finale spoilers #tbb spoilers

197 notes · View notes