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cool-island-songs · 1 year

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Hope you like inbox headcanons. There was a point in their relationship where both Tweek and Craig felt inadequate. Tweek felt like a burden to his super supportive and caring boyfriend. While Craig felt like a failure in comparison to his boyfriend who was not only multi-talented, but employed. This lead to an unspoken competition where they both tried to "out-boyfriend" each other until they finally talked it out.

awh yeah!!! send me whatever u got!

i do always love them both being like ..what does he see in me

i think i could also see these phases not really coinciding, but perhaps younger tweek feeling like a burden, with things like the events of "buddha box" reinforcing that in his mind. after all, he doesn't have decent or even remotely useful parents and craig sometimes takes on a sort of caregiver role, but he is also just a child

if you'll allow me to go off on a brief tangent, one thing that bothers me when people fixate on creek's alleged toxicity (and tweek's in particular) is the idea that craig's supportive because he's just naturally a rly good boyfriend, and tweek is his mentally ill little pet who oughta be a lot more grateful. NO! have these hoes ever seen craig soft before? craig wanting to help someone for the sake of it? why might he do that? what might he get out of that? perhaps a connection with someone who sees him as perfectly capable of empathy?

i think we've seen craig behave this way with tweek and tweek alone because tweek fills him with this urge to be empathetic and caring, to try to bridge their different communication styles. possibly he even develops a sort of need to be needed by tweek which could 100% become a super codependent dynamic (and i have a fic in progress exploring how it could lead to them breaking up, at least for some number of years)

but they could also work through it and things like a responsible adult in his life, a support group, medical/mental health interventions of some kind, and/or outside friends could all give tweek support he needs beyond the emotional support craig provides

so that leads me into your other hc—craig feeling like a failure because tweek has a job and hobbies/talents. this is something i can really see for college aged creek! imagine tweek's gotten through his rocky teen years having to live with those parents, and he's thriving in college, and craig wonders if he "needs" him at all anymore. i think it could be really sweet for him to remind craig that he's with him because he wants to be, not because he needs to be. i actually have something like this in a WIP where they decide to go to different schools for college and realize it was a horrible mistake and work to transfer to the same city, but craig's very insecure about how well tweek seems to be doing without him (when really it's that he doesn't have to be around his draining, emotionally abusive parents anymore!)

sorry this is so long, but i also really love the bit about them overcompensating. young tweek bringing craig cupcakes all the time to make up for how many panic attacks he's helped him through. craig's doctor being like Son you've got to stop eating so many cupcakes... your blood is 80% buttercream at this point. college tweek running out of space to store all the teddy bears craig mails him. constantly facetiming and texting him 'i love you honey', 'good morning babe' because he's scared to ask 'do you still need me', 'am i still useful and good' oh i love it so much

#asks #headcanons #sp creek #craig tucker #tweek tweak #sorry to talk about my WIPs so much i simply have so many #shipping discourse #south park

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faerienextdoor · 6 months

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Hi :D can I request a Jujutsu Kaisen matchup? I'm a straight girl with an ISFJ personality. I wear glasses and have a Long curly mohawk haircut. I'm studying animation so I'm interested in any type of art and my dream is to become a writer. I love videogames, anime and superhero movies. I tend to have a resting b!tch face most of the time because I always stress a lot over my studies buy whenever someone talks to me I tend to smile a lot. I tend to be a perfectionist on everything I need to do and can be a loner whenever I need to get stuff done but that doesn't mean I dislike people, it's just hard for me to truly trust and like someone. Thanks! (I wasn't sure of what else to write so if you want more information for the request, feel free to message me! :3)

crawls back into this acc with a jjk fixation...

Let's ignore that answering these matchups have taken over a year. Anyways here u go I hope it's to ur liking!!!!

I match you with....

Nanami Kento

He gets along well with your drive and passion for the arts, even if he necessarily doesn't have the same type of eye for it like you do. When you two started to get to know each other for the first time and he learned of your enjoyment for it, he started to show you pictures of paintings he enjoys.

"This is one of my favorite pieces. Perhaps I can take you to the museum where it's held, hm? I hear there's a new exhibit opening up."

Even if you're not the type to enjoy walking around and staring at art pieces. Which he'd respect OBVIOUSLY. It's just his way of trying to be involved in your hobbies!

But he also knows art can be deeply personal or just something you don't want to share often. So he won't push to see your creations, he definitely urges you to chase those dreams of yours though.

He'd also respect the way you work. If you take on a big project and shut him out entirely during it's duration, he would understand. Just be reasonably worried.

Calls you "my love" a lot and puts the affection on heavy when he checks on you 😭 even if he's just texting. Probably super formal even through messages HAKDHSJD

"My love. Please ensure you've eaten something today. I'll be off work at 8pm, if you feel up to it I can drop by and prepare a late dinner?"

So serious about his love for you.

After a long day of work he might not be into the sound of a movie, but he'd happily collapse into your arms and play with your hair as you engross yourself in whatever you want to watch <3 it's just background noise for him

Stressed from studies or work? He'll massage your shoulders until he feels you sorts go limp from relaxation

"How about I run you a bath?"

Act of service KING

Need help reshaving your mohawk? or just need a trim?

"Well.. I am no stylist, but I can help."

[proceeds to spend like an hour shaving one side of your head because he is also a perfectionist and "won't let you walk around with an uneven haircut" if he's the one doing it]

He's insistent on date nights though. Just to make sure you're not starving yourself from the sun or anything like that. And so he can spend time with you

If you're not feeling social, that's okay. No crazy huge restaurants needed, he'll take you to a park and have a picnic or a nice walk and return home for a dinner he lovingly put together with your help :)

I think him falling for you took time. Not a crazy amount of time, but it took longer to realize it y'know? It hit him though once you started to trust him.

I can see it happening when you're spending an evening together. He's off work and you're taking a break from whatever you had on your plate, laughing about some comment he made. And his heart squeezes a little in his chest when you thank him for spending time with you.

He'd adore you.

I hope u like this omg I'm so so so sorry for it being late ;w; sorry for any typos!

#fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #matchup #nanami kento #jjk nanami #jujutsu kaisen nanami #jjk matchups #jujutsu kaisen matchup #jjk headcanons #jjk scenarios

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reitziluz · 2 months

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whats ur ocs fighting styles like? even the ones that dont how would u imagine them go down?

ahh damn this is interesting to consider. i've been kinda intentionally de-emphasizing the fighty bits, because i've recently been rather sick of fighting scenes and duels interrupting, or worse yet, taking over the fun stories i'm trying to read.

that being said. over half of them have actual training and experience. and for one of them, i keep hallucinating elaborate fight choreographies...

kimon: sort of military background (it's complicated) as he was sort of a field healer for a while. as a kid, he was taught a martial art focused on magic knives that can do the evil healing trick of "congrats, you've been akira'd to shreds." he actually can do it with just his hands now, if he manages to touch bare skin, but has a very strict code against doing that. smart and cool-headed, very focused on Getting The Fuck Out.

vaal: hooooooooo boy, the surprise soulsborne boss!! literally the main character concept for em is "former living weapon." the twist is that e was deployed against abominations. like going solo against a dragon. imagine one of them slender, super fast mechs doing shadow of the colossus battle, with something like a lance loaded up with magic bullshit. so specifically a living guided missile system...? (this all is still very much under construction and as stated, i'm not super into specifics in fighting, so bear with me.)

but i've also talked about how e would work in more one on one type of fights with a friend, and we landed on something in the general direction of boreal outrider knight and artorias from dark souls. i bet there's good matches in bloodborne too, but i'm not as familiar with its bosses. e also absolutely Delights in the hunt, despite everything.

arin: absolutely not a fighter. chaotic flailing. could sneak up on someone focused on someone else and bonk them in the head. they would be able to do the in-world equivalent of macing someone, like they would carry it and know how to use it.

tess: not a fighter either. she has it in her to be a commander type, but with her experience etc, it manifests mostly as her knowing how not to endanger herself or others more than they already are. a part of their very formal upbringing was probably something equivalent to like, fencing as a sport.

sam: she works/has worked as a (security) guard. all about keeping things under control, de-escalating, stopping fights before they start. owns a mace/staff/thing with a tazer sleep spell incorporated. she does a martial art also as a hobby, but i haven't landed on the exact style yet. think of like, olden time-y boxing or wrestling matches. she feels a bit more of a wrestling sort of gal, but pugilist is such a good word, i'm torn!

leskel: very much has other people do the fighting for him. also if you tried to bonk him, you'd get fifty magic traps blowing up in your face. but then he'd surprise you again and go pontiff sulyvahn on your ass. the combination of formal dance and heavy swings, i just vibe with it so much. though he's still probably relying on some supernatural stuff to greatly boost his capabilities.

#igotasked #aaaa this was fun #too much fun #it's late and i need to change my sheets still before i can go to bed rip #thank you so much tho this was a great treat on a hard day #and now a secret extra tidbit in the tags #both vaal and leskel have devastating secret final forms #the implications of which are at the heart of the plot

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zachthehopelessromantic · 2 years

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Hello there luv! How are you? I was wondering if you could give me some insight on this composite chart? I’d like to know what u find interesting on it! I find the 11th house stellium interesting 🤔

Hey, I can def give you more insight on it. Also thank you for waiting, June is starting to be a very busy month for me.

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💀Scorpio Rising: The start of the relationship was probably very deep and meaningful to both of you. One of you was probably very forward (Even if Mars is in Libra) with the other, you wanted this connection, both of you did. One of the first conversations you had with each other was most likely about death, or the convo could have just been very deep. The relationship can also be forced at certain moments, there isn't really a limit to what you two want to do with each other. Anger can be destructive. The relationship was probably somewhat a secret at first, and one of you still keeps it a secret. I Don't Mind by Koren Grace comes to mind, if you've ever heard that song haha. Anyway, the theme of hiding and secrets is common in this relationship. Take that as it resonates.

🩹Chiron 2nd house: there is some sort of shared wound of the lack of security. Regardless of what each other's Chiron is and what house they are both in. You two may try to find security in the relationship and each other but expectations fall flat. Try being a bit more grounded in the relationship, because that's what you two are best at since it's in the sign of Capricorn. Unrealistic expectations are common with this placement too.

🔥Aries Moon: You guys are hyper as fuck, not gonna lie. You two have so much fun together, you two are very open with each other. You two are very expressive and impulsive together, emotional impatience might be a problem though. You two are always going to be moving and giddy around each other. The moon is in the 5th house amplifies this energy, you two love playing games with each other, making art maybe? As well as exploring new hobbies. Whatever hobby one of you has, the other will gladly participate in it with them. usually with this combination, the serious stuff might be avoided but since the Scorpio Rising is here, you two like to venture into deep conversations together.

🍃Virgo Venus: The flavor of this relationship is very practical, again with the unrealistic expectations though. You two have a great devotion to each other and the love of the relationship, you two make sure each other is cared for. The relationship can really thrive off of being grounded and practical, making sure nothing gets fogged up by unreal expectations. there is a lot of psychical touch in this relationship as well, psychical touch could be one of the main love languages. as for venus being in the 10th house, you two take the relationship and its duties very seriously, this is a great p[placement in my opinion because the couple can agree on many things about the relationship and where it is going. Again, just a very practical and loving relationship.

✨11th house Stellium: One of my favorite stelliums for a relationship, I have this with my boyfriend haha. You two can be completely yourselves with each other, with no fear of judgment. You two share similar dreams and ideals as well. It's a very free relationship. Going further, the stellium in the sign of Libra suggests that the give and take dynamic of the relationship is very equal. You two are extremely social beings, always talking or going out with each other as well, there is a sense of feeling complete with each other, feeling balanced.

🔒Saturn: There may be a fear of intimacy or emotional closeness, especially with all the air energy in the chart. Saturn is still a binding force in the relationship though. It Squares the sun which means that there may be some immaturity emotionally wise, especially since the Moon is in Aries. Saturn is in the 8th house so this will cause each partner to feel like they can share anything they want with each other even if there is still a fear, Saturn and the 8th house can be very complicated when they come together, even I don't fully understand the placement. What I have experienced, personally, is that if there are 8th house placements and major Saturn contacts in the Synastry, then you two will be more willing to embrace this placement, if not then there will be issues with emotionally nurturing each other and sharing each other's emotions with each other.

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#astro notes #astrology #composite chart

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nulltune · 1 year

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🌼🌸 anon here to make your day a bit sweeter !! you're an amazing person and i hope you've had an amazing start of the week. now, onto some nosy questions: where do you get your inspiration for your character(s) from? are there specific types of medias that have influenced the way you write or maybe even specific writers (maybe even from the rpc)? anyways, i hope your week continues to be sweet and amazing because the best of the best is what you deserve, dear friend !!

🥺🥺 YOU HAVE INDEED MADE MY DAYS (cuz i sure took my sweet time answerin this 😳🤪) A LOT BETTER AND A LOT SWEETER ANONN <333 (flower nonnie?? 🌼🌸 nonnie??) aaa i hope u had a great day too!!!! here's to an amazing week for da both of us !! 🥳 I FRIKKIN LOVE QUESTIONS BTW THEY'RE NOT NOSY AT ALL!!!! talking abt hakuno is my hobby y'know 😌

for inspiration, ohhh boy there is a Lot. this moon lady just lives in my mind rent free always!!! ngl tho i feel like my biggest inspo would be .... the little details about her from canon that i just think could've been soooo interesting if they explored it more! don't get me wrong i love how she is in canon (i fell in love with her after all 🥺🥺) but post-extra content is just big ehh to me and i feel like could've done so much more with her but didn't ^_T so i wanna do hakuno moar justice!! 😤 but also the way i wanna write her <3 which is why i really cherrypick a lot of stuff from canon tho i do inspo from it ! hakuno inspo is around every corner but just to list a few- the little mermaid story in general, anything related to artificial intelligence learning emotions / how to love, the nightingale and the rose by oscar wilde, a Lot of mili songs (bathtub mermaid, string theocracy, a turtle's heart, world.execute(me);, nine point eight, etc.), some characters from other media too, iT'S A LONG LIST!!

ohh nonnie my writing style is a mess 😭 /lh i don't know if i can name anything but as i said, hakuno is in da mind 24/7 so if i read or watch something and it gives me some hakuno muse, i keep a lil note of it or just keep it somehow! for example, i read the travelling cat chronicles recently (SO GOOD BTW YOU SHOULD READ IT 😭😭👍❤️❤️) and i read it on my phone so i screencapped every hakunocore parts hehe. like this lil bit! (btw yes i think this stray cat has some very hakunocore qualities. What Of It!)

if i like the way something was written, i simply go 😳📸. that's basically it tbh!! the rpc is a huge inspo to me too thoo!! hakuno's my fav character ever and rping is basically hakuno meeting all sorts of fun muses and characters. how could i not love that!!! i usually read asks that get posted on da dash cuz they're like a nice lil treat 💖 threads require more context and i am simply too slow and late for that </3 i always enjoy seeing my mutuals post tho!!! and i will expose myself here and say that i sometimes stalk dem blogs a little bc i want to read Moar ok........ *insert that one gif of the cursed emoji reaching out of the screen*

AND THANK YOU, DEAR NONNIE!!! i am very excited for da weekend my fav ever 🥳🥳 i hope u have a super great week too!! 💞💞 treat yourself to something nice why doncha! i slide a virtual dollar bill to u -winks-

#&&. out of #anonymous #TYSM FOR SENDING THIS BTW!! ❤️❤️❤️#saw u sendin this to some other peeps and it was fun reading their responses !#SORRY IM AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE RAMBLING BINCH THO SFDKDGCKDVCJ #i need a wholeass business week to come up with a coherent istg-#BUT YA I LOVE SCREAMING ABT H.AKUNO WHEEEEE

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girlnextmorgue · 2 years

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How the Creeps React to a Newbie

NOTICE: This post is a reupload from my old Creepypasta fanfiction blog (now my main blog). If you've seen it before, that's probably because it was posted there first! I pinky promise that I'm not stealing anything, simply moving my old work here for organization purposes.

ORIGINALLY POSTED 8/30/21

BG anon asked: Hi hi!! I came across your blog not too long ago and absolutely fell in love with your mansion hcs and creeps rooms hcs! Could I request some hcs of the reader having just joined the mansion, like how would different creeps react to them, who would hang out with them etc if thats not too much? Thanks, love you! -BG anon 🌸

hello bg anon!! thank u so much, im so glad you like my hcs even though they can be kind of incoherent. this is gonna be formatted kind of differently than my usual bullet point hcs, so i hope that you dont mind that too much!! i have a lot of ideas for this concept omg.. okay, i hope you enjoy these!!

––––––––

Generally, the Creeps are all gonna be a bit hesitant to accept a newcomer. Additions to the Slender Mansion are super rare; Slender has tons of proxies and connections, but only the people that he trusts the most are allowed into the mansion despite it being a sort of safe haven. Everyone is going to be a bit put off by you joining the rag tag crew that lives there, but their reactions are all different.

Nina is the most outgoing of the group living in the mansion, so she's bound to be one of the first people to talk to you. She's also probably going to be the first person that's nice to you. Nina is a people person, and she has a lot to say, so even if you're pretty quiet she talks enough for the both of you! She's also the person that will show you around and introduce you to everyone, even if the rest of her housemates aren't particularly happy about it.

LJ would also be pretty quick to speak to you, if he's even present at the mansion when you arrive. Yes, the cliche candy offer is something he does in my book. If you take it, you'll probably end up in the infirmary with EJ. This is probably one of the best ways to get to talking with EJ, since it's kind of hard to catch him and he isn't much for conversation anyway. If you don't take the candy, then don't worry about that, because there are more ways to meet EJ than getting really sick.

Nina would most definitely introduce you to Jane and Clockwork, while simultaneously inviting you along to some sort of hangout, whether it be a sleepover or a killing spree (though Jane would be hesitant to participate in the latter). Natalie is relatively easygoing, so she'd be quick to start a conversation with you about whatever interests the two of you might share. She's kind of a jack of all trades in my mind, so if you have a hobby then she's probably at least tried it once. Jane is a little harder to talk to. She's a colder person and she isn't quick to trust, but if you end up befriending Nina and Natalie then she starts to warm up to you.

Jane is also good friends with EJ, so if you catch the two having a conversation and are comfortable enough to try to worm your way in, you've earned yourself an additional acquaintance.

Toby is the type to pull some sort of sadistic prank on you on your first night at the mansion. If you react with anger or disgust (depending on what he does), then he'll continue to prank the living shit out of you and try to make your life a living hell until you report to Slenderman about it. Doing that basically guarantees you're on Toby's shit list, even if he can't do anything about it because Slender would kill him, and even if it was kind of his own fault that he ended up getting in trouble. If you're chill about the prank then yeah, Toby will end up with at least some interest in you. He'd probably tell BEN and Jeff about it, and maybe he'd even invite you to hang out with the trio (much to the chagrin of Jane).

The aforementioned pair of idiots were more likely than not gaming on the couch when you entered the mansion and probably didn't pay much attention to your introduction, but that was also probably because Nina was the one doing it. If you do end up hanging out with Jeff and BEN (either through Toby or through being paired up with them for a mission or for chores), you'll have to prove you're worthy of being graced by the presence of the famous Jeff the Killer and his best bud BEN_Drowned. This would either be through video games or through some other form of a challenge, so pick your poison!

Brian is a very easy person to talk to. You probably ended up meeting him in the kitchen or something, I can see him hanging out at the counter with a book in his hand or something. He might have sparked a conversation with a joke, maybe about whatever prank Toby managed to pull on you, and it's just so easy to be friends with the dude. He gets along with mostly everyone, and it's very rare that he meets someone he doesn't like, so yeah. He's probably one of the nicest people in the mansion.

Befriending Tim is a bit of a harder task. Tim is most definitely put in charge of giving you a legitimate tour of the mansion (Nina can't really be trusted), but if he finds you obnoxious or annoying he will not like you. Even Jane calls him a tightass, and she's another person that has zero patience for bullshit. If you do end up managing to get on his good side, congratulations! Please tell me how the fuck you managed to do that! It's especially surprising if you've gotten close with Toby & company, because Tim has no tolerance for that type of behavior.

Liu is a very introverted person, so he's a bit hard to get around to talking to. Conversations with people he doesn't know tend to make him anxious, so you'll probably need to butt in when he's talking to Natalie, Jane, or EJ. Once you get into that conversation and he finds that he's comfortable around you, there is no stopping him from talking. It's definitely refreshing to have a relatively normal conversation about books he's read or the plants that he's taking care of compared to the chaos of the rest of the mansion.

Helen is probably one of the hardest people to get close to. He only really talks to Liu, and that's when he isn't off somewhere drawing or painting. Nina didn't even get to introduce you to each other because he wasn't anywhere to be found. You'd probably have to end up talking to him yourself. It's not that conversation makes him uncomfortable, he just finds everyone annoying at the beginning. If you bug him enough he'll definitely warm up to you, since he's the type that waits for people to come to him, even if he wants to pretend he hates everyone.

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sk-lumen · 3 years

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Need serious advice about setting boundaries or communicating when dealing with a person who:

Is a parent

Has unhealthy communication methods -- it takes very little for them to start full-blown screaming, shouting out all your 'negative' things/mistakes/past, can continue to scream-criticise you even after you've gone silent, for WHOLE MINUTES even if you've shut up, will not accept anything that even hints at them making a mistake

You can't trust since childhood coz u made the mistake of confiding in them with a serious issue as a young teen --- mental related --- and they belittled and invalidated you, and since then pretended you never confided in them and have NO IDEA how you've been coping without them or ANYone else for years... Yeah thanks, parent, what u said back then made me think I was the one at fault and so I stopped trusting even friends coz yeah, when ur own parent doesn't give a damn, why would anyone else?

Is a master at silent treatments without explaining what EXACTLY they're punishing you for, then when theyre in the mood, will start talking to you as if they hadn't ignored you for days. Lol I'd rather be water boarded I think. Especially for all the damage this caused when I was a child

Won't openly talk about what they want, yet expects ALL FHE TIME others (in the family) to know what they want, then will complain/scream/angry for AGES about how no one cares, no one gives a damn... And when someone asks them what they want, they either say: nothing, or "you should know! Can't u see?"

Upon asking them to please talk normally, will blow a fuse, and lose it --- happened multiple times today

Literally will use me as a scape goat to unleash their frustrations upon. Even when I leave the room, I can hear them b*tch about how much of a failure I am etc. The trigger being anything that bothers them, from a phone call to something other siblings did, bla bla. I limit my time with them... But it's like, it feels impossible to have them treat me normally, without ridiculing or criticising me. I'm already a very low self esteem person... This doesn't help AT ALL

In short, refuse to tell/ask/discuss important stuff, and getting mad randomly that no one read their mind, bcoz everyone's 'old enough to have enough sense' to know what they 'should' do... Eg will not pikc up the phone when we call them from the store to ask when what the needed isn't available, so what other alternative can we get... And then when we get home, will instead blame us for being fussy and not getting the alternative, completelt skirting around the issue they didn't deign to pick up the phone... I mean, I don't get it. In the past I HAVE in fact asked them to just openly tell me what they want/expect from me to make them happy... Got passive aggressive answers like "don't you know? Are you dumb?" Bla bla

Passive aggressive to the max when they've lost it

Expect me to drop anything I'm doing and immediately cater to them, and expect me to help them in their hobbies (while simultaneously, as I learned many years ago to much heartache, not being interested or even pretending to be interested in my hobbies. The disinterest taught me very quickly how much what I wanted meant, leading to years of self-invalidation. Luckily I've learned it really is them, not me. My hobbies are valid)

Will not talk about why they're feeling angry, what causes it. Instead will blame me, who's like the golden scapegoat in our amazing family, by saying :YOU made me negative. They've said it many times now... It hurts a lot, when I'm also struggling with my own issues which I ofc can't confide in them about :)

Today I manned up -- the outburst of hatred happened again! Over a simple thing. It was NIGHTMARE and made me angry/sad/frustrated/triggered---, and so I told them to stop talking like that... Boy was that the wrong thing to say... I don't think I can accurately tell u what happened afterwards...

Usually children learn communication skills from the parents... I at least learned to recognize the unhealthy ones, and what NOT to communicate like lol. Like, other parent is even worse, believe it or not. But that's another complex situation

I'm not bashing on the parent. Lord knows I even have that much of a right huh? I hate myself eveb more when they invalidate me if I try to show how MUCH THEY HURT me after a 'communication session'. As in, heaven forbid me if I BE SILENT afterwards and DON'T wanna listen to their retardation. Nope. Even then they provoke me, rage at me, you know how sometimes enraged people hiss vitriol thru gritted teeth? Yeah, that's what they did today after I stayed silent and tried to ignore them an hour later after the 'session' when they wabted something. It's like they don't even need me to say a word and will carry on and on for minutes 🤢

I feel alone, helpless and at a loss what to do

I want to move out. Due to severe mental issues I can't even move out rn coz it scares me even more. But this has to stop. Things are only okay if I'm absolutely passive, say yes to whatever they want, kill my wants and needs, and become a perfect robot bred to cater to them (parent)

I hope you can help me out, dear

Hi darling,

It sounds like you’re in a considerably toxic environment. I'm sorry you're going through this. Know that this is not normal, nor is it how a parent/child relationship should be. In case there's any doubt, let me start by saying you deserve to be supported, respected, listened to, to have your needs met. You deserve to live in an environment that offers you all of these things.

With that being said, from the many scenarios you’ve mentioned you’ve already tried reasoning and setting boundaries, to no avail. There is only so much you can do on your own, if the other person in the equation is not meeting halfway or at all. After all, a healthy conversation involves two people, not just one.

Here's my advice, in this order:

Calmly and maturely asking the respective parent to have a serious discussion with you and to listen to what you have to say. Share how their actions and behaviour is making you feel, let them know you care, and make sure to mention several solutions for the issue as well. If this doesn’t work…

Bring up the subject of needing help from outside, such as the assistance of a specialist/therapist. Family counselling can shed a lot of light on toxic behaviours that are ingrained from childhood (both in their case and yours), on fears your parent may have, stress from their work, whatever is causing their outbursts and anger - because there is always a reason. Behind anger is sadness, and behind sadness is some need not being met, or an underlying fear, trauma, etc. This is not a justification for their behaviour, they are responsible for it; this is simply the fact of how energy dynamics work. People bottle up their frustrations, fears, etc, and let them out on those closest to them, to whom they feel superior. It’s not fair, and it’s not healthy, but it is frequently how this pattern works. If this solution doesn’t work either…

Then unfortunately, all you can do is focus on yourself. If they refuse to meet you anywhere along the road, you have to pack up your things and go your own way. Literally or metaphorically. They may be your parent and you may love them even in spite of their behaviour, but you cannot hold yourself responsible for anything they say or do; that is on them. In those cases, you have to prioritize your own mental health and wellbeing, and focus on moving out. If your (home) environment is toxic, you have to focus on first changing it. That’s vital. Only afterwards can you start healing, refinding yourself, reclaiming your self-esteem and confidence, your sense of worth. As long as you stay stuck in a toxic environment, you cannot really heal; if there is abuse of any kind (physical, mental, emotional), the causes are still there, leading to re-traumatizing.

If for whatever reason moving out is not (yet) an option, I would emphasize seeking some sort of counselling for yourself, if nothing else. You need an anchor, some sort of support that will help you along your path until you do get out.

Now, I don’t know how old you are. I am going to assume you are over 18 and of age, so only mind my advice if that is the case. (As disclaimer, I don't provide advice to minors as it's not the scope of my blog nor am I specialized/focused on that area.)

I understand moving out seems scary because it is unknown, but with that line of thought you may wait another 10 years in the same situation. Wouldn’t you wake up 10 years later already having done the hard work on moving out, finding your independence, claiming your sense of individuality and moving on from this sort of environment, this phase in your life?

Sooner is better than later, but do so with mindfulness and care over your mental health, of course. I know it’s scary. But being an adult requires some difficult decisions at times, and setting boundaries begins with choosing your wellbeing and doing what needs to be done, even if it is something uncomfortable short-term, but highly rewarding and beneficial long-term.

Hope this helps... and wishing you much luck, clarity, gentle guidance and comfort.✨

PS: Lately I've been receiving longer and longer letters in my inbox. As solution, I was thinking of having longer asks/letters redirected to my blog where there isn't any length limit, and readers can more comfortably browse both my tumblr and blog - and those requesting advice can share and receive a more in-depth response.

-Lumen

#mental health #toxic relationship #toxic environment #boundaries #parenthood #ask #tw? not sure what to tag just in case #tw: swearing #tw: mental health #tw: anxiety

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shinahbee · 3 years

Text

October Favorites 2020!

Hello!

i'm going to start bringing these favorites of the month from my deviantart to here on tumblr. Hopefully you will find something good out of the things that I have been liking recently, please leave in the comments anything that you have been liking this month ( books, manga, anime, tv shows...etc) I have been a little uninspired for a while, but I'm still working on a few new digital art pieces as well as continuing my painting hobby, so there's a lot of content on the way!

okay so on to the things that I've been liking this month.

So if you've seen my latest digital art " who's baby is it?" I have been delving into web toons which I have not read other than mo dao zu shi since I watched the anime and It just suddenly stopped after season 2. I thought reading the web toon would answer some of those questions i had. It lead me to reading a bunch of webtoons all in the shounen ai category for some reason...lol. and I've been really liking some of the stories, Until this point web toons never really interested me since I've been reading manga since I was younger , so i've been used to just seeing the black and white pages of art, since web toons have coloured pages, it makes me appreciate the effort they used to colour every panel, so a lot of work went into these so i appreciate it for what it is even if the story inst great.

let me preface by saying that even though i'm delving into BL, i've been exposed to yaoi ever since I was in high school by one of my best friends, she lent me her favorite anime which was " gravitation" and all remember was wanting a man that was like yuki...lol. don't we all?

since then I have been reading some yaoi manga...only ones that are NOT predicated on sexual violence and abuse, which I know is prevalent in this category, I just don't like it and the message it sends, so i avoid that all together.

unless of course it has a particular message it wants to convey, not glorifying it. if that makes sense.

okay so here are my recommendations, i'll give a very brief summary of each of them

Manga/Manhwa:

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Who's baby is it?

- “a man named yi yun wanted to be an actor and is part of an acting company for several years and still was not successful, apparently it was because he was born with really bad luck, so to change his life perspective he decided that he wanted to be a surrogate father and donate his sperm to a surrogate mother in order to have a child that is his blood. So he and his child were living happily together through yi yuns work periods and suddenly there is a man that claims he is the child's actual blood related father and wanted to take the child into his custody.”

please read the summary I have in my fan art, I've wrote my thoughts on this manhwa.

To be or not to be

- “A company president diagnosed with cancer and died has been transmigrated into his favorite novel, where he was reborn as the antagonistic emperor that the main character defeats in the end, on top of which the main lead is currently the captive of said emperor, so in order to survive he will do anything to protect the protagonist and make sure he stays alive inside the novels universe.”

oh to be or not to be that is the question...lol. it really is. currently is is one of my favorites, I like how modern day people can look at the acts of history and modify certain things so that it would less likey repeat itself for the worse, we need this sort of mentality at this moment...

Social temperature

- “Song Yuan is indifferent when dealing with people he is an elite student at T- university as a science major, one day his friend started to question his sexuality and set him up with a month trial dating app as a joke, as soon as he went to delete the app on his phone, he was suddenly matched with a boy named "Mu", who turns out to be his classmate/ rival in his science program, his named is Xaio Mu , he is an exchange student abroad and got into this elite science program, hoping to meet new friends he approached song yuan and proceed to converse with him only to be ridiculed by him saying that he wears too much perfume and it made him sick so then he became the class social outcast.But after using the app to converse with "Mu"...song yuan became curious as to what he is actually like...using the fake name and bio of " Andrew " they start to get to know each other more.”

omg , this is triggering for me, since Mu is basically me a few years ago when I was also in a medical science program minus the talking on tinder thing lol, I felt as though everyone in that program was in it for themselves and I didn't not like the how people think they are entitled to everything...that's why i'm not in it no more.lol. there are a few plot holes in the story that I don't really get but other than that I really like this story I read the chapters that are out so far like 3 times cause I'm waiting for the rest to be translated. I also actually read the Novel by the same author of the manhua called " social outcast" so if you just want to read it in text format please read that novel instead, I like the novel up to a point and then it didn't really make sense after wards..lol.

so i can't say that i recommended it completely. Also Mu's character design I really like, thus i'm going to make a fan art of him soon...omg he's so beautiful, i'm in love lol.

Salad Days ( tang liu zang)

- “This is the story between a young innocent ballet boy and a passionate, determined boxing boy. The two met at the children’s palace, and since then, they have grown up together supporting each other. May there be hardships, may there be obstacles, yet they never stopped pursuing their dreams. The beauty of the salad days is the sweat from the hard work and the bonding of friendship. Although they have completely different paths set up for them, what never changes is their beautiful friendship.”

wow this story so far is really beautiful, I was in ballet for 3 years so it was slightly relatable to me, I feel like the over all message is that people sacrifice a lot for their dreams and if you are very passionate about it, there's no on that can really stop you, the only one that can stop you is you. I can't wait to see this story progress further

K-dramas:

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it okay to not be okay - this probably has been mentioned as everyone's favorite, but rightfully so, I really like ko mun young's character as a person who seems like an assertive and powerful woman, but is suffering from a social disorder. and how moon gang tae has to not only deal with mental patients at his job but also his older brother being autistic, he himself is suffering from mental illness. this drama is something not a lot of dramas portray in dealing with mental illness and how the patients/ loved ones are feeling when watching them go through it all. I liked the story and the message and it made me cry in every episode, so fair warning...have tissues beside you as you watch.

itaewon class- I was not going to watch this because of the mixed reviews but I did any ways, and it was really good, a really good depiction of how money and power isn't the end all be all , and being happy is really the best revenge you can get, it also addresses racism and prejudice on one character and sexism on a trans-gendered woman. I also think this is a story that protrays something that really hasn't been exposed to in k-dramas specifically. It depends on your morals and what you understand so far in your life wether you would like this drama or not, so i understand the mixed reviews that it gets, but for me it was a really good story.

Anime/ TV shows:

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I don't have any anime recommendations this month mainly cause I have not been watching any, but there are some that i might watch soon so I will list those below, let mew know if any of you have seen them and should I be watching them.

- Nobelese

-yasha hime ( inuyasha new series)

-Haikyuu new season

-heavens official blessing ( same author of mo dao zushi) - just started watching

-scum bag saving system- just started watching

Music :

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so I have just been listening to a lot of OSTs,

I really recommend the itaewon class soundtrack, all the songs are so good!

my favorite on is " crush- No words "

also my friend has been sending me NCT and super M practice videos so I've been listening to their music as well, please listen to make a wish by NCT U, it has been stuck in my head and I cant get it out...lol.

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that's all for this October faves summary. please comment below if anything interested you for the month of October, I would also like to read your recommendations as well, please also take care of yourselves especially now with all that's escalating in the world.

take care!

sheena

#monthly favorites #anime and manga #journal #manhwa #october favorites #drama favs #kdrama #manga favorites #whos baby is it #salad days #social temperature #to be or not to be

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kae-karo · 5 years

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[1] hi!! so idk if you've seen dan speaking at the mental health panel or not, but there was one part that hit me really hard and id love to know your thoughts on it! basically he was saying that often content creators, and people in general, are struggling with their mental health the most when it seems like they're thriving (uploading constantly, getting good grades, etc) but everyone thinks they're fine. which is literally my life rn but i can't take a break from overworking myself bc i need

[2] to get into college. do you have any advice abt how to provide for my future while still taking care of myself? also, i just want to thank you for running such a healthy and positive blog bc it has helped me thru some difficult times, and you seem like such a thoughtful and caring person!

hi dear! oh no :( I'm so sorry, that's such a hard position to be in - I havent been in school for a few years, and not in high school since 2012 yikes lmao, so I'm sure things have changed a bit but hopefully I can still give some advice that helps?

I'd say first and foremost, talk to a trusted adult you know in person about how you're feeling - whether that be a parent, older sibling, favorite teacher, advisor, etc. they may have advice more specific to your situation that might take into account details I dont know. and while this is my first piece of advice, it can also be the hardest? sometimes facing our demons and being honest about them with others who have only seen our "good side" can feel impossible, but it can be a crucial step to help build a support system that you can go to when you feel you're struggling

the next thing I'd say is, on a small scale, start taking time for yourself. I know that's like. the hardest thing to do when you have like 6hr of homework a night, minimum, plus clubs or sports or other activities that take time, but literally even sneaking five minutes between some bits of homework to do something that's calming and centering for you can make a difference - if you can grab five minutes to go sit in a space you feel comfortable, away from your work, to breathe and think about something other than your work, that can be helpful

the next one is sorta like. tangential, but take care of your body as well - you're still a growing and developing human, so this is ESPECIALLY important, but drinking lots of water (and not too many sugary drinks/chemical drinks) and eating veggies and getting enough protein can literally make such a big difference in your brains ability to function at it's best. the other important thing here is sleep - every body is different, so keep in mind what your body does best on and (when you can) aim for that. between hydration, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep, you're laying a foundation that can help your brain be more successful throughout the day

I wish, ultimately, i had a perfect answer for the fucked up school system (esp in America which is what I'm most familiar with), but it honestly sets you up to fail. what (unintentionally) worked well for me was having a blow-off class or two - classes that were easy for me (like sign language, or French 1 after I'd already taken Spanish for several years) and could help boost my GPA without stressing me out as much. if you can find those classes- and definitely look for the ones that are easy for YOU, don't just ask around for the easiest classes - that can be a really nice break in your day and help relieve you of some after-school stress

here's another "honesty is the best policy" situation - if you find yourself struggling to understand a concept, or homework is taking you so much longer than some of your peers (or the teacher says theres only an hour of hw a night and you end up spending far longer on it) talk to the teacher! tell them you're struggling, and ask if you can get some help understanding a topic. be specific about what you dont understand (dont just go "I dont get it") and explain your thought process - this can help teachers understand where you're veering off the path and what you might be missing. and, more importantly, if you're coming in for help, they're more likely to be lenient with you because they know you're trying (yes I'm aware that was more a "school help in general" bit of advice but in case that's something you're struggling with)

now heres....maybe some controversial advice. take calculated risks. example: if a teacher has a policy where they drop your lowest homework grade in a class and you're doing alright in that class, but you have a day where you're saddled with WAY too much work for another class where you're struggling, it's okay to say "okay, today I need to go to sleep by 10pm, I can either finish this difficult homework or complete homework for the class that will drop a grade", sometimes it makes more sense to skip that one homework and get a zero to spend time dedicated to the class you're struggling in and get rest. in a similar vein, there is also a limit to studying - there is a point where you physically cannot absorb more knowledge. it is so much better for your brain - both from a focus and memory standpoint - to get a little extra sleep than to stay up late studying well past the point where you will retain knowledge.

now....again, I havent been applying to colleges in ages so my advice might be a bit stale, but colleges tend to look for good grades but also challenging classes, or improvement over time in classes, etc etc. they want to know you're working hard, and that you have diverse interests. college apps are a bit like resumes honestly, except you cant lie about your GPA. but like. you can fluff everything else. literally EVERYTHING becomes fair game with college apps. you can talk about fanfic or a fandom you're in if you phrase it the right way, like there are barely rules lmao. and you can make yourself sound very appealing

so my advice would be basically this: work hard, but learn your personal limits. figure out how much sleep a night makes you feel awake and focused the next day (again, it varies!) and aim for that as much as you can. try to eat nutritiously when you can, and drink lots of water. dedicate time to your homework and studying, but be sure to take regular breaks and ACTUALLY shift your brain away from your work during those breaks. and it's also good to dedicate time to life activities - like I said, colleges want to know you're a diverse person. spend time in clubs you like or playing sports if that's your thing, or do things unconnected to school. and remember, you can fluff that all up on a college app! but also remember - you have to live with you for the rest of your life, and there are so so many paths to a good job or a college education if that's what you decide you want, be sure to prioritize your health as much as you can. the education system tricks you into this never ending cycle of "if I just push through ___________ I'll get to ___________!" and taking that through your life can be really challenging and exhausting. I need to acknowledge that some of this is easy for me to say - I was a good test taker in high school, I went to college, and I bullshitted my way through (that's a whole other story lmao) but like. I need to acknowledge that, by some privilege and luck, I do have a college education. so when i say this next thing, please take it with a grain of salt, but there is more to life than chasing what society tells us to chase - there is family, there are friends, relationships, hobbies and interests and love and dreams and spending hours playing video games and SLEEP and getting sunburned cause you spent too long out under the sun photosynthesizing and collecting pens or shiny rocks and ANIMALS there is so so so much in life and I hate with such a burning passion that, for the first 22 years of our lives, we are told the ONLY thing in life is getting through college, getting a degree. again, I need to acknowledge that I say that with a background of privilege, and that education can help people get out of bad situations, etc, but there are many paths to education and they dont all require you to put life on hold to get there

let me tell u a story real quick, cause my education looks (from the outside) "easy" (turns out I had depression and eating disorders of all kinds yeehaw !!!!). my sister did NOT have an easy time in school - my parents could afford it, so she had a tutor for some of her challenging subjects, but she also dealt with anxiety and depression the entire time. she didnt get into the college she wanted to, but got put in a sort of program where, if she got good enough grades in some community college courses, she could get into the school. so she worked her ass off, dove even deeper into her mental health issues, but eventually did get in. and then she had challenging classes and didnt have a great support system, and she ended up failing out of many of her classes, to the point where she got put on academic probation. so she took a year off, got a job at a daycare, and I have literally never seen her happier or more well-adjusted. shes going back to school now, for early childhood education, and working part time at the daycare while she takes a light course load at school

another story for you - my aunt graduated high school and went straight into the workforce. she came from a dirt-poor family and couldn't afford it. she bounced around a bit, but eventually found company that she worked well with. they paid for her to go to school, and she finally got a degree many years after what we would consider "traditional". she had a few other jobs, but shes been at her current company now going on 20 years, has been through several promotions, and works directly with a c-suite employee. she is also the only woman in her office, a very traditional trucking company where she works with engineers on a daily basis

there are many paths to education, if that's where you want to go, and it's okay if it ends up looking different from the traditional path were told to follow. do what you can to avoid sacrificing your mental health for an education - if its what you want, you will get there. and remember to ask for help along the way!! I hope that helps a little, dear

#advice

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keii · 6 years

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I love Gio so much, he's like a little brother I just want to wrap in blankets and feed pocky to. You've shared quite abit about his personality already but do u have any new random or just plain silly facts about him or his personality to share?

I’m glad you love Gio!!! I remember when I revamped his character back in 2014, he was only supposed to be some Rein fanatic, but that spiraled into a whole other mess ahaha. But YES I’M ALWAYS WILLING TO SHARE SILLY FACTS/OR WHATEVER ABOUT MY OCS! I’ll post some that I can think of on the top of my head LMAO

Gio is the reason why Rein picked up on cooking/baking as a hobby

He’s pretty musically talented! He LOVES to sing and play the drums

He loves to pull pranks, especially on Micah (and it’s even more fun with Nuri is involved)

Gio can be a bit narcissistic and he takes A LOT of selfies

He likes to hang around Cerys and Nuri because they tell him how cute or handsome he looks heh

Not only that, but he also LOVES Rein and takes a lot of pics of him as well… He posts those pics on a IG type of account to talk about how great Rein is. Rein doesn’t know he does this.

When Micah is in a deep sleep, Gio has this game where he sees what new thing he can stack on top of Micah’s body. If Micah has his mouth open, then Gio will put some sort of food or whatever in his mouth as well

He gives both of his cats separate voices

Oh he also likes so carry his cats in his arms and sing to them and dance around

Gio would rather not work out, but Rein forces him to because he’s usually in front of computers all day

Rein is usually strict regarding what Gio can and can’t do (bc he’s paranoid and super protective over him), so he sweet talks Cin and Cerys to convince Rein for him.

#black iris ask #ocask

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ladyymontilyet · 7 years

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drace, do you have any idea what you've done?? i'll ask for 01, 02, 04, 10, 12, 13, 21, 28, 32, 33, 39 and 50

bunder a read more bc i talk!!!! too much!!!

1. When did you first start writing?

Uh. Ok so I have two technical starts-- if you mean writing and sharing my writing, I was maybe ten or eleven, and I posted MLP fanfic to quotev and soon after got into RPing in the Hetalia fandom. If you mean writing as a hobby in general it wasssssssss grade five. We had to write short stories and I know mine was probably pretty bad (all I remember is it was some sort of retelling of the whole King Arthur mythos, or what I knew of it at age 8/9 lmao) and I really, really liked it. Which is why I still write, and also definitely a direct result of my reading habits when I was small bc I was. super far in reading as a kid to the point teachers were frustrated that I walked into grade two with my dad;s old copy of The Hobbit and could explain Harry Potter better than the student teacher. That’s off topic, tho, but what I’m saying is I’ve always been really proud of my lit skills lmao

2. What was your favourite book growing up?

This is going to come as a shock to anyone who has spoken to me for more than five minutes but I loved The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien with my entire being growing up. I also loved this lil information book I had on beluga whales bc I had a thing for beluga whales.

4. Have you ever thrown a book across a room?

Like from reading it and getting a plot twist??? No. I’ve probably tossed a textbook to pass it to someone tho??? Usually when a book hits me with shit I close it and take a few seconds to be like “F U C K”

10. What’s your biggest writer pet-peeve?

From a writing standpoint or a reading standpoint??? Both. Ok both uh from a writing point I hate wanting to write, and having the motivation and time and words but when I put things down and it all feels wrong and I slowly get more frustrated at myself and my writing until I doubt if I’m even a decent writer at all. From a reading standpoint it’s when authors don’t fucking use commas. they exist. use them. continue. a. sentence. for. more. than. two.. words. if. ur. not. making. a. point. (im looking at u hunger games u piece of shit)

12. Who is your favourite author?

god dont do this to me elfie shit ok uh. I’M NARROWING IT DOWN TO TOP 3 bc I really dont have a favourite???? I like authors and stories but rarely would I follow an author just for their writing.

1 J. R. R Tolkien (shocking, I know)

2 V. E Schwabb (I BOUGHT ADSOM ON A WHIM AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH I preordered the collectors edition despite it coming out in like. 7 months)

3 Rick Riordan (listen i love his style of storytelling it’s got quirk and its relatable in that it doesnt force jokes or sarcasm, ALSO the pjo series is??? prime for OCs)

13. What’s your favourite writing quote?

I’m taking this a lil liberally but. Directly related to writing and story-telling, I really love this one from Varric Tethras in Dragon Age II (its also the quote that like. solidified how much he resonates with me as a character like gosh) and it’s “ There’s power in stories, though. That’s all history is: the best tales. The ones that last. Might as well be mine. “

And talking more liberally for creating in general, it’s that longass one from RVB15 where Vic talks about creating, and that a world without stories is empty space and im tearing up typing these quotes oh gosh

21. Do you outline?

oh no. ive done it once maybe??? but that was for a class project so. i wing it and sometimes i go back and edit but mostly if i post something it was a one run thing haha

28. Which do you find hardest: the beginning, the middle, or the end?

Beginnings for sure 100%

listen i can jump in and get to it and put things together and plan for them if i need to and i can wrap things up so im satisfied but???? for some reason not setting the scene up while running with it is hard for me and i always find the beginnings i rite feel awkward and clunky and i dont like that when the rest of my writing feels mmore flowy. bleh.

32. How do you feel abut friends and close relatives reading your work?

first rule of my writing is that i dont show my family because i dont. idk i just dont. thinking of showing them makes me uncomfortable and even my dad, who im close with, doesnt get to know anything bc i know he’ll make it a joke and hurt me without meaning to

as for close friends im???? it depends. My online friends have seen my riting a lot, most of them I became friends with through roleplaying, so I’m super lucky to have seen that same side of them as well, and I’m always willing to show them my writing. Real life friends is.... mroe iffy. I’ve had some of them read my writing in person, and usually it makes me really anxious and flustered bc I’m a mess. the only person irl that I really trust with my writing without feeling too iffy on is my best friend but. first of all I’ve known her nearly a decade, and second of all she knew weeb me in person, and put up with that every day, so I know she’s seen me write worse. Idk immore open showing my work online thatn I am in person.

33. Are you interested in having your work published?

outside of fanfiction, I’d like to one day. I’d like to pt a story out there and have people like it and fall in love with my characters because writing means so much to me, and???? it’d be fucking magical to touch someone like I was as a kid in books but first of all I can’t carry a plotline and second of all I doubt that anything I could write would be worth it. there’s always gonna be something better, and that’s fine but especially since I focus on fantasy whenever I write my own ideas it wouldn’t go far.

long and short of it is I’d love to because I’d love to be able to reach out to people like authors did to me with their work as a kid, but I doubt I’d ever get there.

39. What’s the weirdest story idea you’ve ever had?

I’ve had this idea kicking around for the longest time about how the universe unravelling was an accepted problem in life and ive thought of ways to branch it in but. usually it just sits lmao

50. If you could live in any fictional world, which would it be?

Now, normally I’d sayMiddle-Earth right away, and don’t get me wrong I’d love to live there too, but at the same time, Red London from A Darker Shade of Magic is really appealing too lmao. Maybe Thedas, even???? Gosh. I’d love to live in plenty tbh

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