#opatoes
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👀 I want to hear more about this Bill AU
You were the very first person to send me an ask about the Bill AU, and it was an open-ended question, so I've been saving your ask special for... a fanfic. IDK how often or how much I'm gonna write actual full fic for this AU but for now, here: the first half of Bill's reunion with the Pines family. (Attempted murder included.)
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February 25, 2013
The vengeful demon standing in the door of the Mystery Shack possessed only four items in the universe:
Two safety pins.
A time tape tied around his waist like a belt.
And a tunic he'd fashioned himself in the style of an ancient Greek Ionic chiton, folded and pinned so perfectly that the wearer must have seen them thousands of years ago when they were at the height of fashion.
Soos couldn't identify an authentic Ionic chiton. All he could tell was that the lady at the door was wearing a toga made out of a bright purple Pony Heist children's bedsheet.
Soos laughed, flashing the tourist a double thumbs up. "Hey! Awesome toga. That should really be like a thing. Imagine if we all wore togas. We could just wake up, roll our bedsheets around us like a burrito, and go out!"
Distractedly, the tourist answered, "Careful, you can't tell when Big Fashion is listening in."
"Haha. Who?"
The tourist didn't reply, and she hadn't looked at Soos once; instead, her gaze was darting around the shop searchingly.
"Are you shopping for something specific?" Soos asked with his best customer service voice. "Post cards? Snow globes? Weird taxidermy thingamajigs? Pants?"
"Where are the Pines?" the tourist asked, casting a sharp look at the "employees only" door, then the vending machine.
"Oh, Mr. Pines! The original Mr. Mystery! Heh—he actually retired a few months ago. The Mystery Shack's under new management!" Soos planted his fists on his hips and puffed up his chest. "It's me, I'm the new management."
"But where are they?" the tourist pressed.
"Uhh, he and his bro are somewhere in South America, I think? Some place called... Redacted. But hey, if you really wanna meet him in person, in his last letter he said they might visit for like spring break if the kids can make it up. First week in April!"
"First week in April," the tourist muttered, glancing away from Soos, thoughtfully fiddling with the time tape wrapped around her waist.
"Oh, dude! I've tried to use a tape measure as a belt too! Haha! It worked great, until I bumped the button and it retracted. Yeesh. Hey, do you want a fur belt? We sell fur belts now." Soos turned away, rummaging through the new display next to the t-shirts. "They're all ethically sourced from recycled materials! I bought a bunch of old rugs from the Northwest Mansion to slice up."
Soos grabbed up a fuzzy pink belt. "Check it, I think this is unicorn hide or something. Bet it'd go so good with that Pony Heist toga..."
The tourist had vanished in thin air.
Soos looked around. "Huh." He stuck the belt on a shelf beneath the cash register, in case she decided she wanted it later.
Once all the other visitors had left for the day, and Soos was left alone to clean up, he glanced around the shop nervously. "Is anyone there?" He lifted his broom like a samurai sword. "Hello? Big Fashion?"
Nothing answered. He shrugged and kept sweeping.
###
April 1, 2013
A vengeful demon who possessed nothing but two safety pins, a time tape belt, and a purple Pony Heist bedsheet tunic stood in the center of the Mystery Shack gift shop.
Which was weird, because Soos hadn't heard the door and she totally hadn't been there a moment ago.
"Oh hey! Toga Lady!" Soos turned to Wendy, who was picking up a few bucks as a temp worker handing the spring break tourists. "It's Toga Lady. She came in like a month ago. The toga's cool, right? I think it's cool."
Wendy glanced up, choked back a laugh, and scrambled to grab her phone for a picture.
"So, where are the Pines?" Toga Lady asked, with an edge of impatience.
"Oh, dude, did you come all they way back here to meet them? I'm sorry, the Mr. Pineses didn't make it. They couldn't get a flight out of Atlanta." Soos stopped, frowned, and pulled a water-stained letter from his pocket to double check. "Sorry, Atlantis. Something about a siege of sirens?"
"They would pick now to invade," Toga Lady muttered. "I suppose the children aren't here."
How did she know about the children? Maybe she'd visited last summer and remembered them? Like, early summer, before Pony Heist came out. Soos would have remembered the toga. "Naw, heh. They went to Roswell."
"Oh, cool," Wendy said distractedly, busy texting Toga Lady to everyone she knew. "Checking out the competition."
"Yeah, Dipper's sending me like a billion pictures of the alien museum."
"Well," Toga Lady snapped, "when are they showing up?"
Soos was beginning to get the impression that Toga Lady was less an admiring fan, and more one of those customers. All the same, he said, "June first, for sure. That's when the kids get here for summer break so the Mr. Pineses are coming too. Definitely. Promise."
She rolled her eyes—one of them twitched, like she'd gotten something in it and was struggling to keep it open—but said, "All right, fine! June. What's the difference?" She trudged to the door and leaned next to it by the snow globe shelves, fiddling with her belt, as if she was settling in to wait right there for the next two months.
Soos frowned—she might drive off tourists, blocking the door like that—but said, "Oh! While you're here, I thought you might be interested in this belt." He reached past Wendy to grab it from beneath the cash register. "I didn't get a chance to show you last time before—"
He looked toward the door. She was gone. "Huh. Did you see Toga Lady leave?"
Wendy shrugged. "Wasn't looking."
"Huh." Soos replaced the belt. At least he knew when he'd see her next.
###
June 1, 2013
"What's with the belt?" Stan asked.
"Oh! It's for a regular." Soos pointed with both hands down at the fuzzy pink belt peeking beneath his suit jacket. "I think she's comin' today. She wanted to meet the original Mr. Mystery."
"Hey, an admirer!" Stan mysteriously grew two inches as his posture spontaneously improved. "Is she cute?"
"Uh... if you like bedsheet togas?"
"Ooh, a party girl."
Over by the shop's glass display case, Ford said, "These are new," and lifted a jar with an alien fetus suspended in green goo.
"Oh, yeah!" Soos said. "Dipper sent me like, a billion keychains of these little alien guys from Roswell. So I started filling Abuelita's empty spice jars with aliens and lime jello. Cool, huh? It looks like we stole them from a secret government lab or something."
Stan laughed, slinging an arm around Soos. "Listen to this! Brilliant! I knew I put the right guy in charge."
Soos grinned goofily. "Aw, gee, Mr. Pines..." A flash of purple caught the corner of his eye. Toga Lady was leaning next to the door by the snow globe shelves, fiddling with her belt.
Here was a chance to show off his great business instincts with Stan watching. Time to make a sale. "Oh, hey, Toga Lady! I didn't hear you come in! Still rockin' Pony Heist, huh? Hey, I've been trying to show you this belt I think you'll like..."
But she wasn't listening to him. Her gaze was fixed on the Pines twins' backs. As Soos watched, her expression darkened, and her grin widened.
The vengeful demon reached past the snow globes, snatched up a heavy "mysterious green crystal cluster ($250)" made of glued-together broken glass, and heaved it up over his head. "Hey, Sixer!" Face contorted in a snarl of a smile, he turned the cluster over, sharp broken shards pointing downward. "Welcome home!"
Bill Cipher swung the glass weight down toward Ford's head.
(If you wanna keep reading, all chapters are right here!)
#bill cipher#human bill cipher#soos ramirez#(I'm not gonna tag every character that shows up but Soos gets the honor of being the viewpoint character here. please enjoy him.)#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls fic#fanfic#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher#opatoes#ask
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unknowndespair: every artist I know irl and don’t have/haven’t told me their social media duder is working
unknowndespair: How do you feel the feelings that we experience, and don’t Party too hard to believe - I don't want you to know
opatoes: Eyewitness testimony has lead police to believe - i /solved/ it, Merle
unknowndespair: Eyewitness testimony has LEAD police to believe - I /solved/ it, merle
admiral-craymen: I want you to riot - i /solved/ it, Merle
garbage-empress: Before Craymen woke me, i ain't stoid da boid - I /solved/ it, merle
admiral-craymen: Before Craymen woke me, I saw many places with Atolm
admiral-craymen: Before Craymen woke me, I saw many places with Atolm
unknowndespair: Before Craymen woke me, I aint the sharpest tool in the Shedd
opatoes: Before Craymen woke me, i ain't the sharpest tool in the wood shed
admiral-craymen: Before Craymen woke me, i saw many places with Atolm
garbage-empress: Before Craymen woke me, i ain't the sharpest tool in the wood shed
unknowndespair: Before Craymen woke me, I AINT the sharpest tool in the wood shed
opatoes: Before Craymen woke me, i saw many places with Atolm
garbage-empress: Before Craymen woke me, i ain't back by 5am start phoning round the airport
opatoes: Before Craymen Woke me, I aint the sharpest tool in the Wood shed
opatoes: Before Craymen woke me, i was once a Treehouse
unknowndespair: Before Craymen woke me, i saw many places with Atolm
garbage-empress: Before Craymen woke me, I was once the queen of Morrowind
admiral-craymen: Before Craymen woke me, i saw many places with Atolm
admiral-craymen: Before Craymen woke me, i ain't gonna get far you ain't gonna let it get ripped Enlarge in the washing machine
opatoes: Before Craymen woke me, i ain't the sharpest tool in the sheeeeeeeeeeeeddd
unknowndespair: Before Craymen woke Me, I don't think it's Skylar's birthday, kalny.)
opatoes: Before Craymen woke me, i aint hostin' peanut butter in her clothes i'm in PEANUT butter
garbage-empress: Before Craymen woke me, i saw many places with Atolm
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Opatosgod / OpatosElogod
"Muwahahahaha! Mwaaaahahaha!"
A gender that feels like it is or is related to the Elona god Opatos of Earth. Opatos is associated with minerals, strength, defense, as well as general physical fitness. Opatos's god jewel is the <Fetter of Earth>, a restraining device worn as boots.
Gendergod system by @hypnosiacon.
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Have You Seen Richard Henry Opato?
Have You Seen Richard Henry Opato?
Richard was last seen on April 20, 1998.
#unforgotten #missing #sharethispost #niagarafalls #ontario #canada
Richard was last seen on April 20, 1998
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opatoes replied to your post:
Wait what happened now
A bunch of nonsense.
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opatoes replied to your post: writing a dnd campaign more like i dont know what...
furry convention
SDFLHKSDKFLHSDKF
PATTERS NO
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opatoes replied to your post “i WANT to start an iron leaguer wiki but honestly that seems like...”
I've been wanting to start an iron leaguer wiki too adsfg it just seems like a lot to make
it deserves a wiki honestly.
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POINTING AT YOU Homestuck!!!! Homestuck!!! (I also cosplayed homestuck with the ben nye's) (I cosplayed vriska)
CALLED OUT ON MY OWN BLOG AS A HOMESTUCK. (I cosplayed Eridan, Meenah, and an AU Karkat. I wasn't even deeply emotionally invested in Meenah's character, I just REALLY wanted to make a 2x3dent and a wig with stupid long pigtails.)
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opatoes: Normally the adblock removes any "do they/don't they" anxiety
opatoes: however, the figure removes its Mask, revealing itself to make a nest in my chest
afloorable: However, the figure removes its mask, revealing itself to make a snack
opatoes: Waiting for you to make a snack
opatoes: Which unassisted optima going to Do A Good idea to make a snack
afloorable: A real steaminya hot brooklynya slice, Fresh out the oven, crispy on the BOTTOM of the ocean to make a snack
afloorable: I'm sorry if skylar wasn't just right for You to make a snack
afloorable: Waiting for You to make a snack
opatoes: Waiting for you to make a snack
opatoes: This rascal is horny as Hell***He unloaded enough sweet cream 2 make a snack
afloorable: Yo How much dirt you gotta throw in the ocean to Make a snack
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So I did a summon today, and got a second 5 star Camillia. Should I merge her with the one I already have, or is there something else I should do instead?
You can either merge her to boost her stats or send her home to get 1,000 feathers!
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I thought someone was asking for Drakes computers Mac number too rip
ikr, like what...............would they even want to do with it
what can you even do with drake’s MAC address
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brainstorm / happiness
yikes kill it - ehhhhh - neutral - cute - adorable - ITS CANON
I’m adding one: I ship it but it’s never meant to be give me a fucking break
Send me a ship involving one of my kintypes and I’ll tell ya how I feel about it!
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opatoes replied to your post: Cybersix waters my crops and teaches me to love...
aaaaa!! i’ve been meaning to rewatch cybersix!
gfidohgdfig I don’t think I’ve ever met a character I wanted to marry and also be.
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