Made this keychain while i was sad for Logan after the race. I'm so happy with the result and also i think doodles and references come out good ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
I put more pics under cut if you want to see!!!
There some photos without any drawings plus just doodles bc it's easy to miss something with how much I going on there 😭
Also i finally have plase to rumble about every little detail (tags)
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I think Bill's inner monologue during that initial springlock accident in the 70s should be religious-bordering-on-sexual I want him to be really fucking weird about it. It awakens something in him in the worst ways possible. Henry slowly prying them off him while they wait for an ambulance should have a similar impact on his psyche I think.
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time to spread the jigsaw apprentice william easton propaganda. do you see my vision
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one slow afternoon and a silly talk about forever
for sherliam week 2022 day 5: vows (kinda)
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someone help bc what actually is 'female rage'?? is it just. anger as a woman??
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Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.
Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?
And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.
What do you think about it?
no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.
because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)
and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?
river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)
they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.
mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.
they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.
all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.
mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'
god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.
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and what if i finally decided on a fc for anna / mrs. em.ily. what then. ( do you love her )
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Kin aasign Will or I explode immediately /j
William James Rowe is... Lorethan "Reth" McKinely! 🍰🌿
Both of them are so, so kind and sweet to others. Will has an engineering degree and has a background as working to be a medic in rescuing people, while Reth himself does quite a bit of his own engineering and learns how to create his own machines and tools to survive outside of the society he lives in. He also ends up having to figure out a way to save a child's life who was badly injured, and ends up eventually adopting her as his own little sister. They both have deep connections to the earth and the environment, and do a lot of work to try to save it from other people's destruction.
They are both a bit unstable emotionally in their own ways, though Will's nervousness and self doubt stim directly from the Eating Louis issue (as well as his betrayal from his past partners, but that's not relevant here). Reth isn't really nervous about a Single Thing and instead has general worries about...almost everything, being easily emotional and wanting to make sure people are safe, but second guessing everything until he becomes overwhelmed.
One thing is for sure that Reth has a leg up on, though, and that's that his society (Katterax) actually...does the whole eating people semi-regularly. It's not done ALL the time, but the fact that drakath bodies are made of shifting substance that is incredibly durable means that they can easily change to be able to be eaten by another and be completely safe through the whole process! It's actually something done by some especially disabled Drakaths whose bodies cannot easily live outside of specific environments because they can't form the organs that other Drakaths do. While this whole eating process can be done in many ways and for many reasons, it's most commonly done as a way to be close and intimate with another, without it really being sexual (think a form of deeper kissing, cuddling, etc.), so...Reth would not be nearly as phased or worried about Will's issues and honestly would be a bit confused about what the big deal was.
William James Rowe belongs to @peachnewt and her series, Getting in Deep! The lanky noodle of a guy belongs to me and my story, Their Scattered Hosts.
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@dire-kumori (this is, uh. This is gonna be a long one 😬)
It's completely fine if you're not up to date on the fnaf books, especially considering I haven't read any of them myself, lmao. I only know the things that the silly fnaf youtubers tell me is important in their theory videos, so. I don't know very much, and what I do know is probably very biased through their theory-crafting lenses.
But I enjoy me a good Evan and Gregory story, so I'd love to rant a little but more about them. I like the idea that Evan is hiding away somewhere in the Night Terrors recreation of his room, too terrified to leave it. He hides away somewhere that only a little kid would think to go/be able to reach, which is exactly why Gregory (who isn't THAT afraid while playing the game, but is a little menace who likes breaking the game's boundaries and trying to see where he can and can't go rather than playing the game normally) is able to find him.
Maybe Evan is terrified of Gregory at first-- after all, the details are hazy, but he clearly remembers how much the Stranger hurt him for so long, and who says this stranger will be any better? But Evan is terrified and alone and he just wants comfort. He thinks about the weird pictures on the wall of the family with blurry faces, how happy and safe they all look, and after a while of Evan being scared and Gregory trying to calm him, Evan can't help but notice that Gregory looks a LOT like one of the small blurry figures he sees in the family photos (ig technically Gregory should be nothing more than a pair of transparent floating arms if they're in a VR game, but I'll do what I want with no regard to the cruel constraints of logic). And Evan wants the happiness and safety he sees in those photos, so wouldn't it make sense to go with Gregory? (though, Gregory insists the kid in those photos isn't him)
Evan is so broken at this point that he doesn't remember his personality or his name. He can't answer any of the questions Gregory asks him about what things he likes or what he does for fun (though, the difference in technology thanks to them being born so far apart may play into that, too). Gregory has to help give Evan a name (Evan shudders for reasons he can't remember when Gregory suggests the name Freddy).
The last thing I'll say about the Gregory ending (such an original name, ik) is I'd like to think the two of them get out of the game eventually. Despite Gregory’s kindness, Evan still thinks he's too broken and the world is too big and scary for him to continue existing... and then the sun rises. At this point, Evan has spent what accounts to years/billions of nights desperate to survive long enough to see the sunrise but always being brutally murdered before he can. And then! Then Evan feels the light and warmth ghosting against his skin for the first time in god knows how long, he sees the brilliant pinks and oranges and reds of the rising sun, and he falls onto his knees with tears in his eyes. "I made it," he whispers. "I finally, really made it."
The happiness is almost enough to make his soul move on right then and there. But... it also fills him with hope that maybe this world and the people in it are worth surviving for after all.
Okay, moving on!
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Oh gosh,, the idea of "Michael" trying to take control of the game in order to turn it into a safe haven for Evan!! It's such a painfully sweet idea... except, I can't help but wonder if Michael would even know what a 'safe haven' for Evan would look like-- let alone if the Fragment would know, since the Fragment has lost everything that makes Michael, Michael and is just the remnant of an instinct to keep Evan safe. I feel like the "safe haven" that the Fragment would make for Evan would end up being empty and hollow, devoid of any real meaning or happiness. It's nothing but an empty paradise filled with false promises of what the Fragment thinks a little kid SHOULD want but is devoid of the love and affection that Evan NEEDS. I'm having trouble coming up with any examples, though. Maybe it's like the Other World in Coraline, but instead of a greedy, hungry monster being in control of an empty world of lies, it's a monster that WANTS to help Evan but doesn't understand how.
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And the idea of Glitchtrap using Evan against the Fragment is positively delicious :3
I'm going to make William and Mike a bit more sentient than you originally intended for a sec, though. I like the idea of a manipulative, silver-tongued William turning Evan against his brother. Maybe William even takes advantage of the fact that Evan (and probably Mike) never found out or knew why he got trapped in the Nightmare in the first place; maybe William frames the whole thing as Michael coming up with another way to torture Ev for fun. I wonder how Evan would respond. Would he listen to his father (whether or not Evan even recognizes this person as his father) telling him Mikey deserves this, take out his frustration on Mikey and hope that he can rest once Mike is gone? Or does Evan break, because as much as Mikey has hurt him, he doesn't want his brother dead?
And wouldn't it be interesting to see how Mike/the Fragment responds to Evan attacking him/it? The Fragment wants nothing more than Evan to be happy, so it must glitch the hell out of it when Evan tries destroying the Fragment. It's just like what you wrote about Mike being torn when Ev begs Mike to stop trying to save him in the Nightmare; the Fragment's entire existence is to keep Evan safe and happy, and it needs to be present so it can do that, but if Evan wants it gone... how is it meant to fulfill both objectives at once?
Though, I'm also curious about how this au could tie back into Security Breach. Maybe the Fragment does end up winning control of the game from Glitchtrap, so Glitchtrap runs to the only place he can: Vanessa. And maybe he drags Evan with him, or perhaps Evan goes *willingly* if it means escaping from the Fragment/Stranger that tortured him for so long. Security Breach still happens, but this time, Glitchtrap has Vanessa AND Evan under his control. Maybe he even uses Evan’s ghost to try tricking and manipulating Gregory as well. And all the while, Michael has to try to figure out how to get out of the VR game and back to protecting the ghost spirit whose name he no longer recalls.
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AND THE FRAGMENT BEING A YOUNGER MIKE IS SO COOL! Maybe it could be the reverse of what I described with Evan and Gregory, where Evan sees another lost and scared kid his age hiding away, just like him, and decides "i am not leaving you to face your horrors alone." Neither Evan nor Mike have any memory of who either of them are, but they're both lost and alone and terrified and cling to each other. They're the only thing that either of them has, and vow to get through this together, sort of the antithesis to how isolated they were in the Nightmare. Very depressing that it takes both of them completely losing all of their memories and will to live for them to trust and rely on each other without constantly hurting each other, but...
Maybe the two of them spend eternity forever without their memories. Or maybe like you said, they slowly find each other's memories in the game's coding, and they have to reconcile the horrible truths they learn about themselves and their pasts with the fact that they're *friends* now and don't want to lose each other
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Richard II: "beating the bad king allegations by being hot and funny"
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Me, seeing people on my dashboard talking about The Holdovers: ohhh, that looks so good!
Me, seeing someone compare it to Dead Poets Society: okay. I have to reconsider now.
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All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep 'em on a leash
Arsonist's Lullaby - Hozier
Happy Belated Birthday
Jane Williams - Far Cry 5
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what is something you’ve never told anyone?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT FOR CHARACTERS / ALWAYS ACCEPTING!
he tried throwing himself off a bridge once during a frighteningly long manic episode after getting into a terrible terrible fight with clara. they’d just had michael and he genuinely believed there would be some kind of divine repercussion if he didn’t.
clara is the only one who knows about this: after the fight, she’d followed him and found him. with a little coaxing, she managed to convince him to come back to the apartment they’d been staying in, talk him down, and convince him to see a doctor when he was ready.
william doesn’t talk about it for a multitude of reasons. pride is one of the strongest reasons. also he doesn’t see the need: he’s never experienced anything that strong again, so why should he talk about it when he’s fine now?
it’s hard to put out of his mind, especially when it takes years for clara to stop looking at him with that worry in her eyes whenever someone mentions that bridge.
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can you guys guess what mood ive been in lately can you guess can you c
dont repost + not for personal use
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Im having thoughts
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