#one of those songs that takes everything in me Not to make facial expressions while im listening to it
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my parents don't know i'm passionately lip-syncing/belting hozier's who we are behind the closed bathroom door
#magpie thoughts#one of those songs that takes everything in me Not to make facial expressions while im listening to it
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Wedding Secrets (Sub!Taemin x Dom!Reader)
Pairing: Sub!Taemin x Dom!Reader
Pronouns: none used, written as an afab! reader. Reader does wear a dress.
Genre: Exes to lovers, non-idol au, Taemin is a famous cherographer and you two see each other at Hoshi's wedding.
Warning: smut of course, pussy eating, dom!reader, femdom, cheating, pulling Taem's hair, and grabbing his shirt. Y/n is called mommy
Word count: 1789.. it was supposed to be only 1000 words.
BTW, this is NOT the story I teased a week ago. I'm still working on my Yandere!Taemin fic.
I'm just so in love with Taemin y'all.. but y'all already knew that.
Happy Subby!September! Thank you to everyone who is reading, writing, and reblogging. We are just getting started!
Smut below the cut! Enjoy.
The wedding reception was vibrant and full of energy. But, your heart drops when you spot him from across the room.
Your ex.
At Hoshi's wedding, of all places? You both shared a mutual surprised look, and suddenly, the upbeat song seemed a bit too loud.
Memories of old times flashed by as you caught his eye. This was going to be an interesting evening for you.
Not to mention, the woman by his side is drop-dead gorgeous, and you're sure she's a model or some influencer.
Being a choreographer, you know he makes his rounds around the entertainment industry.
You get up from the table and head to the bathroom. The last thing you want is to show any emotions and make this about you. This is about celebrating your good friend, and you don't want to draw any attention to you.
You retreat to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror. Your makeup is still perfect, your hair is flawless, and you look amazing in your outfit. You take a couple of deep breaths.
"I don't have feelings for him anymore.. so why am I tripping?"
"You don't have feelings for me.. anymore.. mommy?" Taemin voices announces into the bathroom, and you glare at him as you stare at him in the mirror.
While you thought hearing that name would feel foreign to you, instead, you miss it. A little more than you would like to admit.
You can't even hide your facial expressions, so you turn around to face him. You wrap your arms around your body, holding yourself in hopes that you can keep it together.
"No, we're over... remember?" Your echo of the truth is a reminder that he doesn't belong to you anymore.
He wanted to end things because he felt like monogamy wasn't something he wanted to continue. So, he walked away from you.
"I know that, but you haven't answered the question. Because if I'm being real with you. I'm not over you. Every person I sleep with, I have to close my eyes and imagine that it's you that I'm with."
Of course, the most infamous choreographer and dancer in your home country has been with other people since the split. That was the whole purpose, right? But it still doesn't feel good hearing it.
But, simultaneously, you feel a little emotion stir inside you, because he still isn't over you.
"Does my answer even matter?" You challenge him.
Taemin tilts his head, and studies your body language. His piercing dark brown eyes, and you know that right now, he's the bold, confident, loudmouth Taemin. In a snap of a finger, if you step into "mommy mode," he will be a whimpering mess under your control. He can get into his subspace so easily for you.
"For me, it does," he responds softly.
A surge of memories hits you – the late-night rehearsals, the impromptu dance sessions at dawn. The way you two would hook up at his dance studio. The passion between the two of you is undeniable. But you know, along with those fun memories comes the bitter ones, the fights, and the jealousy.
"Why now?" you ask, trying to keep your voice steady. "After all this time, after everything that happened, why bring this up now?"
You watch him take a deep breath, looking down momentarily, before returning his mesmerizing gaze to yours.
"It's simple. Everywhere I go, all I see and imagine is you. You used to choke me the way I liked, spank me, spoil me, love me, touch me. Make me submit like no one else could. I'm still in love with you, Y/n."
You want to speak, and you open your mouth to do so, but you stop yourself. You take a moment to process what he just told you.
Your relationship with him was such a whirlwind. He's never been your typical type of guy you like to date. You are quiet and reserved around people you don't know. Only a selected person gets to see your true personality shine.
But, Taemin is outspoken, flirty, and outgoing all the time. He's always the center of attention in some type of way. You never wanted to dim his light or stop his beautiful energy. But, at times, his innocence gets misinterpreted by someone dying for his attention.
Which created issues in your relationship. He has five million Instagram followers, which is more than some of the idols he choreographs for.
He's pretty much a big deal to a lot of people. But, no one has ever experienced him in the way that you have.
"Kiss me," you mumble.
You get out of your head and try to ground yourself back into your body. You know you will ruminate over this if you don't let your body take the lead.
Taemin steps closer into your presence and presses his soft, juicy lips against yours. Your eyes shut immediately, and you allow him to take the lead momentarily. He deepens the kiss and wraps his hands around your waist, and you pull him closer to your body.
You pull back from him, and you feel that familiar feeling come over you. That surge of energy allows you to take control of the situation.
"Mommy? Can I taste you?" The words slip off his tongue so quickly, and you wanted nothing more than to shove his face right into your pussy.
How did he know that you even wanted him in that way?
You removed Taemin's suit jacket and laid it on the sink, and you hiked up your dress so that you can prepare his meal for him.
How could you deny yourself the satisfaction of having the best head in your life? Even if it meant this was just a one-time hookup.
You spread your legs for Taemin, and you are already wet with excitement.
"Come on and eat it before your girlfriend comes looking for you," you taunt him.
"She doesn't care. She's just with me for her social media page."
You run your finger down your slit and feel how wet you are just from kissing Taemin. It never fails how you always react to him so easy.
Taemin smirks and kneels before you just enough to be at eye level at your core. He places his hands on your thighs for leverage as he jams his tongue inside you.
You instantly realize how much you have missed his tongue deep inside you. The feeling of his tongue warms you in a way that you can't explain. It's familiar, and it feels even better as he begins to lap at your folds.
"God, I've missed your tongue, Taem. You're still the best head I've ever had that."
You expect Taemin to respond to your comment, but he's lost himself inside of your sacred world. He mixes up his technique from sucking on your clit to giving you very slow, but passionate kisses that cause your body to jilt every time. To do it all over again in between speeds and variations.
The feeling of having Taemin eat you out like it's his last meal on Earth has your mind spinning a bit when he services you like this. You know that his words are really true.
There is no way that he eats out that IG model like this.
Taemin is way too good and knows exactly what you need when you need it.
He's so good at reading your body language since he's an empath. He knows what you want before you even say it. That's how in sync you two are.
But, you snap out of the state of euphoria, and you grab him by the hair. "Taem, now I know you heard me when I praised you... Is that how you respond to Mommy?"
"No, mommy. I'm sorry, you just taste so good. That's why I was in my own little world with your pussy. Thank you for praising me. You know I love when you do that. Can I continue to worship you?"
You instantly felt the aching of your sex when you pulled him away from you. You want to regret it, but you also know he must obey you.
"Fine, but you know I like it when you respond to me. Got it."
"Yes."
You stare into his eyes with his hair still in your hand and his beautiful plump lips covered in your juices.
"Yes, what?"
"Yes... Mommy."
"Good boy."
You release his hair and guide the back of his head back to your pussy. Not that you needed to guide him, but you like being able to control him in this way.
Taemin returns to pleasuring you like he never stops. He licks away at your pussy, and the gushy sound of his tongue and your juices mixed has you hornier than ever.
"Mommy.. I love pleasuring you."
"I can tell. You see how wet I am."
"I love it.. can I feel your juices on my fingers?"
"Yes.."
Taemin turns his hand over and sticks his thick middle finger inside you, and you clench around him. He runs his thumb over your clit in circles.
You look down at him, and you can't get over the fact that you never expected to be on a bathroom sink with your legs spread with Taemin's head in between them during your bestie's wedding.
As if on cue, Taemin runs his tongue across his top lip slowly to savor your taste.
You grab him by the shirt and pull him in for a kiss. You slip your tongue into his mouth and savor the taste of yourself. These are the wild moments you miss.
Your tongue swirls around in his mouth as you two are locked in a passionate kiss. The combination of kissing him and his fingers working their magic on you is enough to tip you over the edge.
Taemin's skillful digits continue to pump into you, and you already feel yourself squirt on his middle finger.
"Finish me off," You pull away from Taemin and push his head back down.
Taemin holds onto you as he buries his face deep into your center, and he tongue fucks you because he knows that's what you like.
You both know your body is already so sensitive, and by the way, your hips are starting to buck you. The time to release is approaching.
You moan uncontrollably as Taemin's expert tongue explores every inch of your core, intensifying the pleasure coursing through your body. The anticipation builds, and with one final flick of his tongue, you explode in a mind-shattering climax.
Taemin comes back up and licks his lips again. "I will never get enough of how you taste, Mommy."
You hop off the sink and adjust your dress. Your legs are wobbly, and Taemin helps you with your dress.
You kiss Taemin on the cheek and say, "I might let you taste me again."
#subby!september#sub!kpop#sub! idol#sub!idol x reader#kpop smut#sub!idol#dom!reader#taemin x reader#lee taemin#taemin smut#sub!shinee#sub!superm#afab!reader#dom!y/n#taemin x you#lee taemin x reader
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Body & Soul (Kento Nanami x Reader)
The best way to cope with what's going on. I'm not ready to see it animated yet, I was left in shambles with the manga, I can't imagine animated. Song
Whenever you’re out together, if you ever touch something or say “That’s so cute.” Kento adds it to the cart when you’re not looking.
You are so calm around him, he takes care of everything. Literally no thinking in your brain, he leads you wherever you need to go.
He’s the best at taking trips, you have terrible flying anxiety and he is the sweetest thing. Holds your bags, protects you from other people getting into your bubble. Keeps you close to his chest when the plan takes off. Walks with you to the bathroom. Packs snacks for you to munch on. Takes care of all the documents.
Kento always has his hands on you, whether it’s holding your hand, his hand on your waist or shoulder. When he sees someone stare at your butt, he’ll smack it loud enough to be heard while holding eye contact with them. It makes you giggle cause you just think he’s trying to rile you up.
Knows all your sizes and textures you enjoy wearing. Kento has brought you many outfits and shoes.
Absolutely obsessed with your body, always holding you and giving you many kisses when he gets home from work, especially when he does overtime.
Kento hates overtime, but the way you take care of him on those days almost makes him want to happen more often. The way you undress him, lead him to the bathroom and completely pamper him. Scrub him down, paying extra attention to his facial expressions when your hands touch his skin.
The best in aftercare. Feeds you, helps you get dressed or just holds you naked close to his body.
Takes very good care of your body, doing your skin care routine when you’re too tired, helps you get dressed when you’re not feeling your best. Have you trembled and overstimulated under him. An absolute mess, gasping and whimpering after you cumming so many times. You’ll feel his mouth on your neck, his voice in your ear, “Just one more for me, please?”
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[INTERVIEW] Baekhyun - 230223 W Korea: “Days With Baekhyun”
Returning after two years, Baekhyun used the word “comfort” often.
Baekhyun’s only wish is to sing heart-felt, timeless songs for us. Baekhyun talked about the days spent with us and the days ahead of us.
How many days has it been since you were discharged from the military?
Today is precisely the third day since I’ve been out.
You have finally gifted flower shoes to the fans. (‘Giving flower shoes’ is a Korean phrase that means returning to the significant other who had been waiting for their partner to return from military service.)
I know. Before I left for the military, I told the fans that many things could change in a year and nine months. How could I make them wait? I told them to focus on their own lives but come back if they feel like it when I return. I said, if anything, I would try to win them back again.
So, you recently did a live show to celebrate discharge. Seeing you’re still as bright and youthful, fans recalled the time you promoted your second solo mini-album, “Delight,” released three years ago.
Honestly, I was super worried. But I was relieved to see their warm reactions. I’m grateful to my parents. Haha.
You talked about your time in the army during the live show.
Most of my training campmates were born after 1999, except for a few. I was the eldest there. Everyone followed me like their older brother. I still keep in touch with the friends I met then. Recently, I got a call from one of them. He said, “I am working out at the gym right now.” He was a skinny one, and every single day at the training camp, I told him to work out.
Baekhyun, as we know, was the life of the party among the EXO and SuperM members. Your bubbly personality would have shined in the army training camp.
There was no exception. I didn’t let anyone fall behind. Whenever I saw someone wanting to give up, I said, “You can’t lose to things like this,” “If you keep giving up, this becomes your habit,” and, “Real life outside is much harder than this.” I don’t let my friends give up or fall behind. I pull them together.
I presume the past two years have been a time to realize and reassess who Byun Baek Hyun really is as a person, not just Beakhyun from EXO.
Yeah. My MBTI changed during the break from ISFP to ESTJ. I’ve been known as a homebody for a long time among my friends. But I’m actually an extrovert and a very active person. But when I look back on my childhood, I barely had time to spend at home. To the point where my mother always said, “How come I see my son only for breakfast?” I felt like I went back to my real self during the break.
Was it also a time to realize again what your fans mean to you?
Of course. I still have a long way to go to learn about the fans thoroughly. There’s something I learned this time, though. The fact that our existence to each other is a lot bigger than what we think. During the first year of my alternative military service, I looked back a lot. I watched a lot of the past concert videos. At concerts, I had a lot of fun with them. There were times when I saw my facial expression on the stage and thought I really did bust my butt to pull everything. Also, sometimes I felt really empty and felt this unfillable void. At one point, I thought, “Will they still be there?” while listening to the cheers of fans in those videos. They are like a really good teacher who would grade me and encourage me. They inspire me to do my homework. They have had me run, take lessons and become a better person. I want to do well to hear their acknowledgment. If they didn’t exist, I probably would not have tried so hard to come this far.
Your Namu-wiki page has a “Fan Love” section. As we read through the things you’ve said to the fans, we thought even a real boyfriend couldn’t say such sweet things.
Haha. Definitely my mom’s influence there. She speaks so gently. She is the sweetest person, really. And I am the youngest in the family. My family poured sweet love on me. Sometimes, fans ask me how I can speak so nicely. To be honest, I don’t know. I feel it’s nothing special, to me, a very ordinary and everyday thing.
It seems like fans could rarely feel the army break. You filmed 20 pieces of YouTube content ahead of time and released them during the break.
I know how hard it is to wait. Even when we did the EXO concert tour, we couldn’t release an album during that time. So it had been a long-standing concern about how to fill the vacancy. In particular, no one was trying to do something special to fill the vacancy during the military break. At first, I thought about making a small game instead of a video. Like the Tamagotchi game, fans can foster ‘Baekhyun’ from level 1 for 641 days while I am away. Feed him, water him. Haha.
The background in planning the pre-created YouTube Content was to give fans something to calm their longings, but also in some parts, wishing your fans would not forget you by watching these videos, right?
Yeah, that is pretty much it. Actually, I was swamped when we were filming the YouTube videos. I had a hectic schedule. It was just around when my third solo mini album Bambi came out, and on top of that, SuperM’s promotion overlapped. But after filming them, I felt so indescribably proud.
The 2021 album Bambi leaves much to be desired in some ways because it had no official activities due to your military service. Nonetheless, it recorded high sales, enough to bring the double million-seller title. It was also the album released in the year of your 30th birthday, showcasing your finest skills as a vocalist.
Bambi was created strictly with my own needs and vision. I tried everything I wanted to do without looking at anyone, and I wanted to free my mind by doing so. You are right. I put in everything I could as a vocalist. I first rearranged my vocal tone around the time of my first solo mini-album City Lights in 2019, and I wanted to see how much I had grown since then. I became very dedicated because I thought I could make a better sound than two years ago. I tried the vocal ranges that I wouldn’t have chosen in the past because I was too nervous. I purposely chose difficult music because I wanted to experience both failures and trials.
In particular, the title song "Bambi" seems to have been a regular song for the music school entrance exam that year. It’s perfect for showing off your vocal skills going back and forth freely with your falsetto, modal, and head voice.
Well, I don’t really recommend it. It’s a high-risk song, the beat and rhythm are tough. It’s a pretty challenging song to sing well.
With the release of Bambi, Baekhyun’s genre and brand have become more apparent. "Baekhyun" reminds us of groovy R&B beats from "UN Village" in the album City Lights and "Candy" in Delight.
R&B is a genre that I’ve been attached to for a long time, so I’ll continue with it. However, I also want new challenges. I want to try this and that without being too picky. I want to be an all-rounder. I’m interested in singing-rap these days.
Which musician are you paying attention to as a reference these days?
I’ve gotten closer to Colde recently. I like his singing style, and it’s fabulous that he pulls off the melody rhythmically as if he’s rapping. I’ve requested songs from Colde. I don’t know what kind of work will come out yet, but we’ll work together soon.
As a musician, there’s no more valuable experience than getting a “response” to your song. All three solo albums released so far have recorded respectable sales. Did you expect such success?
Not at all. It exceeded my expectations. This record was possible thanks to the efforts of many K-pop singers ahead of me. In particular, the sales volume of the second album was the highest in 20 years of Korean pop music history.
Delight became the first solo album to achieve the million-seller title, and you became the second artist to hold such titles for both the group and solo albums, following after Seo Tai-ji.
Yes, but it’s all thanks to the dedication of so many Korean musicians. As K-pop became more known worldwide, more people started paying attention to K-culture. The Korean artists before me had already paved the roads and I just got to piggyback on them.
I don’t feel any guilt when I listen to your music. Maybe it’s a complete anachronism, but there’s still a certain prejudice regarding idol music. Similarly, some idol music is referred to as a ‘hidden masterpiece.’ But when I listen to Baekhyun’s solo music, I feel like I’m just listening to really good music.
Thanks. I indeed paid a lot of attention to that. I chose a lot of genres that wouldn’t come from SM. SM prefers strong and intense sounds, but I wanted to focus on easy-listening music. It was partly because of my preference and strategic choice to differentiate between EXO and solo activities. Seeing that many of the tracks from my solo albums are still receiving a ot of love, I think it was a good decision.
It is common to spot excessiveness in solo albums by Idol group members. It was rather unique that Baekhyun has an easy mood, as you’ve just said.
I pushed for that. I kept thinking, ‘I’ll make more easy-listening music,’ ‘The music should not change in the middle,’ and ‘The melody should flow as expected.’ I wanted to minimize statement sounds and focus on the lyrics. There was even some feedback from the company that it fell short. But I kept pushing. My motto was to do something that sounds easy to people’s ears, like passive music, even if it may not feel ‘sophisticated or innovative’ for some.
What you just said seems connected to the question of, ‘what is good music to me as a musician?’
Probably. In a way, I’m making music that’s pleasant to listen to. But I don’t usually listen to a lot of music. My ears are so tired. Since I’m a singer, I need to know a lot of songs, but when I find one I like, I listen to it over and over. There’s something in common when I look at the songs I’m hooked on. It’s not too much, and it just has one or two significant factors.
For example?
I especially like old-fashioned pop songs. Fibo Bryson’s "Why Goodbye" is also a song that I love, for example. If you listen to it, there’s a particular section once in the bridge, once in the chorus, and once in the verse. You can listen to it comfortably, and the sound is completely filled with only vocals.
What is the vocal tone you pursue?
If I could have a voice that doesn’t go out of date, I couldn’t ask for more.
It’s also the most challenging thing.
I know. I once imagined, “Will Baekhyun’s episode of ‘Hidden Singer’ come out?” I don’t think so. Because my voice doesn’t have a distinctive feature. But it’s definitely a voice that can give you some comfort. A good tone depends on the time and taste. It’s something that keeps moving without being fixed. So I just want my voice to be peaceful and stable. I hope I can make the sound warm enough to relax your body. That’s all I want.
It’s been 11 years since your debut, and you’re still taking vocal lessons every week, right?
Yes. I have a big desire to evolve. I thought about it when EXO received a lot of attention with Growl in 2013. ‘Why are so many people going crazy? Am I really that good? I don’t think so. If the heat goes away, they will see me.’ That’s why I kept trying. I always criticize myself more than others do. It’s not a matter of high self-esteem and low self-esteem. I’m just continuing to make up for my shortcomings because I know my weaknesses better than anyone else.
To me, Baekhyun is not a person with low self-esteem but one who constantly and carefully self-censors himself.
Yes, that’s right. Maybe I am a perfectionist, and I hate it when there’s no complete ending. If I don’t think I can finish something properly, I don’t even start. I tend to get extremely disappointed with myself if I don’t do something perfectly at work.
A perfectionist who pursues easiness… It sounds hard. Haha
Haha. As a musician, I want to be an easy person who can blend in with the public. I don’t want to be a musician who is so cool that people admire and want to follow. I want to be someone people can talk to easily when they meet me on the street while listening to my song.
The only regret for Baekhyun as a solo musician is that he had little opportunity to tell autobiographical stories in music. What kind of stories do you want to tell through your music as 32-year-old Baekhyun?
I want to deliver encouraging lyrics. And deliver the message that you shouldn’t give up easily and try to face more challenges. I think the disappearance of the “Jeong” culture played a role in making people get easily tired these days. In the past, when a neighbor moved in, we used to make steamed rice cakes. If the next door neighbor cooks a lot of food, they would share it with others. But living in a disconnected world without affection, people seem to think only of themselves. I want to put a hopeful message in my song that we can all unite in harmony again.
It’s been two years since W Magazine and Baekhyun met—, since the cover of the March 2021 issue, right? Throughout today’s shoot, the staff said you were sexy. Baekhyun’s “soft sexiness” that you’ve shown in your solo career seems to be reflected in today’s shoot.
Sexy… Haha. I don’t think the sexiness that I have is the sexiness that’s full of intense emotions. It’s more like this. Sometimes you play with your friends, and you feel unexpectedly sexy. I think I have the sexiness to make people a little curious about me. Haha
Today’s shoot was with Cartier’s Tank Frances Watch and Icon Collection. These are pieces that have been called Wannabe by many artists for their timeless classic aesthetic. Regardless of timea and nationality, who is the greatest artist for Baekhyun?
Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson was the only artist who stood still on stage for a few seconds or minutes and people couldn’t stop cheering. His songs have made many people cry for a long time, giving them joy and happiness. So just seeing him standing still on the stage makes them tear up. There isn’t an artist who can beat Michael Jackson.
Still, what would be your secret weapon that you could win over Michael Jackson?
Hmm… My gentle way of talking? Haha.
EXO recently announced the news of EXO’s 11th-anniversary fan meeting. What would it look like if you were to compare EXO to family?
Children who were raised by a strict father but had an infinitely sweet mother? Maybe the stage is our dad. We work hard on stage until it feels like our bodies would break literally. But when we get off stage, we act like kids. Not one friend is rude, and everyone is so kind. When we talk to each other, there’s no difference from when we debuted 11 years ago or when we were trainees.
What are the three things Baekhyun is focusing on these days?
I’m into golf. Out on the golf field, my arms got so tanned, dark enough to leave a watch mark on my wrist. I feel very relieved when I go rounding and see the open space. The second one is the direction of the vocals. And for the third, I was going to say exercise but I’m going to change that. (Kim) Jong-kook, whom I became close with through workouts, said, “It’s time for you to focus on your back.” But hip workouts are too hard. Haha. The last one is EXO’s comeback. We will return as soon as possible with a high-quality album this year.
Photo links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23
Credit: W Korea.
#EXO#EXO K#Baekhyun#230223#exo im#exo k im#baekhyun im#magazine#magazine:w korea#p:news#t:news#fs:w korea#comeback:Fight
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pale white horse + where is your rider is about limited life martyn from scott's pov
AKA, I go insane and assign lyrics to block game and probably stretch the meaning too far lmao
"down they fell like the tower as the land relinquished her ghost"? totally about how they spawned in and the boogeyman mechanic kicked into play.
"Heed the sirens, take shelter", "flee the fire that devours", "but the sight held me fixed"? the sirens are the countdown to boogeyman that both scott and martyn succumbed to on day 1.
"neither plague nor famine temper my courage" i mean, martyn and scott stood together in the face of everything. Scott was target #1 for like two sessions and yet only went down to martyn at his request. they did not falter at any point.
"a pale white horse with a crooked smile, and I knew it was my time" martyn's skin was pale from being red, but he was still a silly goofy guy through it. Scott probably didn't know martyn would kill him for the win, but time and limited life go hand in hand.
"a raging storm of a foreign war, a face i'd seen before" Martyn literally wore the banner of Dogwarts, a war fought 3 seasons ago. Scott would've seen the Hand fighting on the opposite side of the battlefield.
(other song under the cut because this is long and i dont want to clog the tag)
"Was it you 'mid the fire and the ember? Were you there to bedevil and beguile?" Scott died to lava and a traitor, having literally been tricked into removing his armor by Martyn.
"See, your face wasn't quite as I remember, but I know that wicked shape to your smile" similar to above, Scott is used to seeing Mean Gill, pirate martyn, but the banner and the bloodshed would have reminded him of the Hand. One can assume he was making a similar facial expression during battle.
"So bury me as it pleases you, lover, at sea, or deep within the catacomb" I feel like being buried at sea is self-explanatory for a dying Mean Gill
"But these bones never rested while living, so how can they stand to languish in repose?" Scott, having been the target of a hunt more than a few times, would not have gotten much in the way of downtime.
"He has thrown down the cavalry as gravel sinks and as the stone founders underneath the sundered sea of red and reed" Primarily focused on the later half here, the isle was decimated by the time Martyn killed Scott. Several people died in those waters- Scott killed pearl not long before. It was certainly red.
"The shadow of Hades is fading for he has cast down Leviathan, the tyrant, and the horse and rider" Martyn was a force this season. I believe he is tied for most kills. He was a force of nature, much like Leviathan. This one is a stretch lmao
"Where is your rider? Where is your rider?" Listen. Hear me out. This is Scott asking why Martyn snapped at the end. Martyn is an unguided hand, a explosion of fury, an untamed horse. His rider, who had in the past seasons been his ally both secret and not, was not present this go of things. Ren was not there. Scott was never going to be able to exact the loyalty Ren had.
"He will hold with all of his might the armies of night still as boulders laid to the side 'til we pass by" Ren was able to hold back Martyn. He could restrain him, guide him. Scott couldn't.
"He has hoisted out of the mire every child so lift your voice with timbrel and lyre" As Scott died, he would have heard Martyn yelling his speech about it being a death game. Toward the end, his voice had gotten quite loud.
"We will abide, we will abide, we will abide" At the end, Scott accepted what Martyn did. He was glad his Mean Gill won. He will abide.
look i know im insane ok but this has been on my mind literally since the final episode dropped i needed to get this out to the public
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Baekhyun Interview - W Korea March 2023
Days With Baekhyun
Returning after two years, Baekhyun used the word "comfort" often.
- - - - -
Baekhyun's only wish is to sing heart-felt, timeless songs for us. Baekhyun talked about the days spent with us and the days ahead of us.
<W Korea> How many days has it been since you were discharged from the military?
Today is precisely the third day since I've been out.
You have finally gifted flower shoes to the fans. ('Giving flower shoes' is a Korean phrase that means returning to the significant other who had been waiting for their partner to return from military service.)
I know. Before I left for the military, I told the fans that many things could change in a year and nine months. How could I make them wait? I told them to focus on their own lives but come back if they feel like it when I return. I said, if anything, I would try to win them back again.
So, you recently did a live show to celebrate discharge. Seeing you're still as bright and youthful, fans recalled the time you promoted your second solo mini-album, "Delight," released three years ago.
Honestly, I was super worried. But I was relieved to see their warm reactions. I'm grateful to my parents. Haha.
You talked about your time in the army during the live show.
Most of my training campmates were born after 1999, except for a few. I was the eldest there. Everyone followed me like their older brother. I still keep in touch with the friends I met then. Recently, I got a call from one of them. He said, "I am working out at the gym right now." He was a skinny one, and every single day at the training camp, I told him to work out.
Baekhyun, as we know, was the life of the party among the EXO and SuperM members. Your bubbly personality would have shined in the army training camp.
There was no exception. I didn't let anyone fall behind. Whenever I saw someone wanting to give up, I said, "You can't lose to things like this," "If you keep giving up, this becomes your habit," and, "Real life outside is much harder than this." I don’'t let my friends give up or fall behind. I pull them together.
I presume the past two years have been a time to realize and reassess who Byun Baekhyun really is as a person, not just Baekhyun from EXO.
Yeah. My MBTI changed during the break from ISFP to ESTJ. I've been known as a homebody for a long time among my friends. But I’'m actually an extrovert and a very active person. But when I look back on my childhood, I barely had time to spend at home. To the point where my mother always said, "How come I see my son only for breakfast?" I felt like I went back to my real self during the break.
Was it also a time to realize again what your fans mean to you?
Of course. I still have a long way to go to learn about the fans thoroughly. There's something I learned this time, though. The fact that our existence to each other is a lot bigger than what we think. During the first year of my alternative military service, I looked back a lot. I watched a lot of the past concert videos. At concerts, I had a lot of fun with them. There were times when I saw my facial expression on the stage and thought I really did bust my butt to pull everything. Also, sometimes I felt really empty and felt this unfillable void. At one point, I thought, "Will they still be there?" while listening to the cheers of fans in those videos. They are like a really good teacher who would grade me and encourage me. They inspire me to do my homework. They have had me run, take lessons and become a better person. I want to do well to hear their acknowledgment. If they didn't exist, I probably would not have tried so hard to come this far.
Your Namu-wiki page has a "Fan Love" section. As we read through the things you've said to the fans, we thought even a real boyfriend couldn't say such sweet things.
Haha. Definitely my mom's influence there. She speaks so gently. She is the sweetest person, really. And I am the youngest in the family. My family poured sweet love on me. Sometimes, fans ask me how I can speak so nicely. To be honest, I don't know. I feel it's nothing special, to me, a very ordinary and everyday thing.
It seems like fans could rarely feel the army break. You filmed 20 pieces of YouTube content ahead of time and released them during the break.
I know how hard it is to wait. Even when we did the EXO concert tour, we couldn't release an album during that time. So it had been a long-standing concern about how to fill the vacancy. In particular, no one was trying to do something special to fill the vacancy during the military break. At first, I thought about making a small game instead of a video. Like the Tamagotchi game, fans can foster 'Baekhyun' from level 1 for 641 days while I am away. Feed him, water him. Haha.
The background in planning the pre-created YouTube Content was to give fans something to calm their longings, but also in some parts, wishing your fans would not forget you by watching these videos, right?
Yeah, that is pretty much it. Actually, I was swamped when we were filming the YouTube videos. I had a hectic schedule. It was just around when my third solo mini album <Bambi> came out, and on top of that, SuperM’'s promotion overlapped. But after filming them, I felt so indescribably proud.
The 2021 album <Bambi> leaves much to be desired in some ways because it had no official activities due to your military service. Nonetheless, it recorded high sales, enough to bring the double million-seller title. It was also the album released in the year of your 30th birthday, showcasing your finest skills as a vocalist.
<Bambi> was created strictly with my own needs and vision. I tried everything I wanted to do without looking at anyone, and I wanted to free my mind by doing so. You are right. I put in everything I could as a vocalist. I first rearranged my vocal tone around the time of my first solo mini-album <City Lights> in 2019, and I wanted to see how much I had grown since then. I became very dedicated because I thought I could make a better sound than two years ago. I tried the vocal ranges that I wouldn't have chosen in the past because I was too nervous. I purposely chose difficult music because I wanted to experience both failures and trials.
In particular, the title song Bambi seems to have been a regular song for the music school entrance exam that year. It's perfect for showing off your vocal skills going back and forth freely with your falsetto, modal, and head voice.
Well, I don't really recommend it. It's a high-risk song, the beat and rhythm are tough. It's a pretty challenging song to sing well.
With the release of <Bambi>, Baekhyun's genre and brand have become more apparent. "Baekhyun" reminds us of groovy R&B beats from UN Village in the album <City Lights> and Candy in <Delight>.
R&B is a genre that I've been attached to for a long time, so I’ll continue with it. However, I also want new challenges. I want to try this and that without being too picky. I want to be an all-rounder. I'm interested in singing-rap these days.
Which musician are you paying attention to as a reference these days?
I've gotten closer to Colde recently. I like his singing style, and it's fabulous that he pulls off the melody rhythmically as if he's rapping. I've requested songs from Colde. I don't know what kind of work will come out yet, but we'll work together soon.
As a musician, there's no more valuable experience than getting a "response" to your song. All three solo albums released so far have recorded respectable sales. Did you expect such success?
Not at all. It exceeded my expectations. This record was possible thanks to the efforts of many K-pop singers ahead of me. In particular, the sales volume of the second album <Delight> was the highest in 20 years of Korean pop music history.
<Delight> became the first solo album to achieve the million-seller title, and you became the second artist to hold such titles for both the group and solo albums, following after Seo Tai-ji.
Yes, but it's all thanks to the dedication of so many Korean musicians. As K-pop became more known worldwide, more people started paying attention to K-culture. The Korean artists before me had already paved the roads and I just got to piggyback on them.
I don't feel any guilt when I listen to your music. Maybe it's a complete anachronism, but there's still a certain prejudice regarding idol music. Similarly, some idol music is referred to as a 'hidden masterpiece.' But when I listen to Baekhyun's solo music, I feel like I'm just listening to really good music.
Thanks. I indeed paid a lot of attention to that. I chose a lot of genres that wouldn't come from SM. SM prefers strong and intense sounds, but I wanted to focus on easy-listening music. It was partly because of my preference and strategic choice to differentiate between EXO and solo activities. Seeing that many of the tracks from my solo albums are still receiving a lot of love, I think it was a good decision.
It is common to spot excessiveness in solo albums by Idol group members. It was rather unique that Baekhyun has an easy mood, as you've just said.
I pushed for that. I kept thinking, 'I'll make more easy-listening music,' 'The music should not change in the middle,' and 'The melody should flow as expected.' I wanted to minimize statement sounds and focus on the lyrics. There was even some feedback from the company that it fell short. But I kept pushing. My motto was to do something that sounds easy to people's ears, like passive music, even if it may not feel 'sophisticated or innovative' for some.
What you just said seems connected to the question of, 'what is good music to me as a musician?'
Probably. In a way, I'm making music that's pleasant to listen to. But I don't usually listen to a lot of music. My ears are so tired. Since I'm a singer, I need to know a lot of songs, but when I find one I like, I listen to it over and over. There's something in common when I look at the songs I'm hooked on. It's not too much, and it just has one or two significant factors.
For example?
I especially like old-fashioned pop songs. Peabo Bryson's Why Goodbye is also a song that I love, for example. If you listen to it, there's a particular section once in the bridge, once in the chorus, and once in the verse. You can listen to it comfortably, and the sound is completely filled with only vocals.
What is the vocal tone you pursue?
If I could have a voice that doesn't go out of date, I couldn't ask for more.
It's also the most challenging thing.
I know. I once imagined, "Will Baekhyun's episode of 'Hidden Singer' come out?" I don't think so. Because my voice doesn't have a distinctive feature. But it's definitely a voice that can give you some comfort. A good tone depends on the time and taste. It's something that keeps moving without being fixed. So I just want my voice to be peaceful and stable. I hope I can make the sound warm enough to relax your body. That's all I want.
It's been 11 years since your debut, and you're still taking vocal lessons every week, right?
Yes. I have a big desire to evolve. I thought about it when EXO received a lot of attention with Growl in 2013. 'Why are so many people going crazy? Am I really that good? I don't think so. If the heat goes away, they will see me.' That's why I kept trying. I always criticize myself more than others do. It's not a matter of high self-esteem and low self-esteem. I'm just continuing to make up for my shortcomings because I know my weaknesses better than anyone else.
To me, Baekhyun is not a person with low self-esteem but one who constantly and carefully self-censors himself.
Yes, that's right. Maybe I am a perfectionist, and I hate it when there's no complete ending. If I don't think I can finish something properly, I don't even start. I tend to get extremely disappointed with myself if I don't do something perfectly at work.
A perfectionist who pursues easiness... It sounds hard. Haha.
Haha. As a musician, I want to be an easy person who can blend in with the public. I don't want to be a musician who is so cool that people admire and want to follow. I want to be someone people can talk to easily when they meet me on the street while listening to my song.
The only regret for Baekhyun as a solo musician is that he had little opportunity to tell autobiographical stories in music. What kind of stories do you want to tell through your music as 32-year-old Baekhyun?
I want to deliver encouraging lyrics. And deliver the message that you shouldn’'t give up easily and try to face more challenges. I think the disappearance of the "Jeong" culture played a role in making people get easily tired these days. In the past, when a neighbor moved in, we used to make steamed rice cakes. If the next door neighbor cooks a lot of food, they would share it with others. But living in a disconnected world without affection, people seem to think only of themselves. I want to put a hopeful message in my song that we can all unite in harmony again.
It's been two years since W Magazine and Baekhyun met—, since the cover of the March 2021 issue, right? Throughout today's shoot, the staff said you were sexy. Baekhyun's "soft sexiness" that you've shown in your solo career seems to be reflected in today's shoot.
Sexy... Haha. I don't think the sexiness that I have is the sexiness that's full of intense emotions. It's more like this. Sometimes you play with your friends, and you feel unexpectedly sexy. I think I have the sexiness to make people a little curious about me. Haha.
Today's shoot was with Cartier's Tank Française Watch and Icon Collection. These are pieces that have been called Wannabe by many artists for their timeless classic aesthetic. Regardless of time and nationality, who is the greatest artist for Baekhyun?
Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson was the only artist who stood still on stage for a few seconds or minutes and people couldn't stop cheering. His songs have made many people cry for a long time, giving them joy and happiness. So just seeing him standing still on the stage makes them tear up. There isn't an artist who can beat Michael Jackson.
Still, what would be your secret weapon that you could win over Michael Jackson?
Hmm... My gentle way of talking? Haha.
EXO recently announced the news of EXO’s 11th-anniversary fan meeting. What would it look like if you were to compare EXO to family?
Children who were raised by a strict father but had an infinitely sweet mother? Maybe the stage is our dad. We work hard on stage until it feels like our bodies would break literally. But when we get off stage, we act like kids. Not one friend is rude, and everyone is so kind. When we talk to each other, ther's no difference from when we debuted 11 years ago or when we were trainees.
What are the three things Baekhyun is focusing on these days?
I'm into golf. Out on the golf field, my arms got so tanned, dark enough to leave a watch mark on my wrist. I feel very relieved when I go rounding and see the open space. The second one is the direction of the vocals. And for the third, I was going to say exercise but I'm going to change that. (Kim) Jong-kook, whom I became close with through workouts, said, "It's time for you to focus on your back." But hip workouts are too hard. Haha. The last one is EXO's comeback. We will return as soon as possible with a high-quality album this year.
Source
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Conflicted pt2
part 1
A/N(?): i am !!NOT!! a writer, everything i write and post is simply for fun and not to be taken seriously
urban x reader
It took you about a full hour to calm down completely and surprisingly Urban held you the entire time. That only made you feel more guilty for what you were about to tell him. But he deserved to know the truth.
You leaned out of Urban’s embrace to sit up straight. You wanted to make sure that you kept eye contact while you told him what’s been on your mind so you can try to read his emotions through his facial expressions and his eyes. Oh those beautiful blue eyes, they always told you what his pretty lips never did.
“Are you gonna tell me what has you so upset?” He’s becoming less patient the longer you take. “Yeah uhm..but i need you to know something first” Urban starts getting nervous. At this point he has no idea what you might say next. Are you calling it quits when you’ve barely begun? Were you pregnant?
As much as you tried to read Urbans expression it was too hard. He slowly removed his hands from yours and turned away from you. “So this whole time…you didn’t think it would’ve been best to just tell me what the fuck was going on? y/n she shook my hand with you right next to me. Both of you acted like you didn’t know each other and she talked about writing you a song to my face…” “I know how it looks to you but i promise it’s not like that”
“Oh it’s not? because i feel like both of you made a fool out of me…and now i come home to you crying your eyes out to the song she wrote just for you….y/n how do you think that makes me feel huh?” His tone stayed leveled but you could tell he was mad because his face was turning red. Urban has never raised his voice at you but you were sure that it was bound to happen when this conversation progresses.
“Are you crying because you regret being with me? Do you want to go back to her? is that it?”
“Urban no…i don’t know what to feel”
“Well neither do I…You told me everything was finally good again and you’re ready to make this something for the rest of our lives y/n WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT SHIT IF YOU DIDNT MEAN I-“ “IM SORRY OKAY? im FUCKING sorry…I tried SO hard to get over that breakup and you know it. I did everything I could to move on and open my heart for you. I fucking love you Urban but my heart is still in her hands and i’m afraid there’s nothing i can do about it.” You were once again, a sobbing mess. Only this time you weren’t the only one crying.
Urban felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. How could you show him a love like he’s never had before, just for you to take it away from him in the blink of an eye. “So this is it? You’re gonna call her now and try to get her back?” you shook your head and wiped your eyes and cheeks with the sleeve of your oversized hoodie before answering him.
“No, I can’t do that.”
“And why not?”
“Because i need to focus on myself right now….as cliché as it sounds i need to find myself again. Ever since i was 19 i’ve been in and out of relationships and constantly wanting love from my partners and giving them every piece of me yet i never loved myself as much as i loved them. I deserve the same love i give to everyone else too. I OWE that to myself Urban. I can’t imagine what’s going through your head right now…you probably hate m-“ “ I don’t hate you y/n don’t start with that bullshit okay? i’m mad…yes but i should’ve seen the signs. I can’t force you to stay so i guess this is it, I really do love you and that’s not gonna change over night. You’re the best love i’ve ever received and i’ll never forget you for that. You’re still my soulmate…” He stepped closer palming your left cheek with his right palm and wiping away a stray tear of yours with his thumb.
“Maybe not in this lifetime but in the next, i know you’d be my wife….even if neither of us believe in that marriage shit. You do deserve that love that you give, i hope you learn how magical it feels and how addicting it is. If you ever need anything at all you know where and how to find me so i’ll be on my way and i’ll come pack my things maybe tomorrow okay?” you simply nodded, not being able to voice anything after all that he had said to you.
He leaned down kissing your forehead, slowly as if he was saying a final goodbye, walked around you and left out the door.
A/N: THE EEENDDDD omg im so proud of this!!!
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A hot take
So here’s my hot take on today’s Bangtan Episode. I’ve glanced at what twitter and other tumblrs have said and I know my thoughts probably won’t line up like most.
[Lil 7 and those lips]
It wasn’t lost on them that this is the first time in 2 and a half years that they will get to meet Army with even fewer restrictions than during their March concerts. The audience will be able to cheer this time. Those 2 and a half years seem like a fading nightmare now.
Everyone was hyped up and in a good mood.
Everyone was looking well rested, even Hobi even though we know he was in the midst of prepping for Hobipalooza.
I mean, look at Tae’s skin... so smooth and perfect. Damn.
Here is Yoongi letting us know he’s still very much a grandpa.
And still able to find time for shenanigans while getting ready.
Jimin commented on how special Armys’ hands and lips are because....
The gift Armys received during this music show recording included lip balm and hand lotion. And we thought he was randomly flirting with us. Jimin is savvy enough to play us. Touche.
And then he got embarrassed. Jiminie, why are you such a contradiction?
JK and Tae-tae being especially close. That boo-boo on Tae’s leg sure has been seeing some on-camera time lately. I don’t feel the need to hide this interaction and I don’t feel the need to play it up or play it down.
They just finished recording for a music show and all the members were coming down off the high. The feelings they all must have been having during these activities, knowing the impact of the Festa dinner, the magnitude of stepping away, the unknown future... we know in each of their vlogs that we watched AFTER these shows were recorded, that each of them missed being together and felt most comfortable with each other.
This was fun, Tae making Armys wave their Army bombs in sync with him.
I think we were robbed of a lot of Jimin and Jungkook interacting, like the little glimpse above. K-Army who attended these shows already told us that Jimin and Jungkook were constantly in each other’s space, interacting and playing around in between recording takes and between songs. But damn it! We didn’t get to see any of it!
One final good-bye to K-Army. How heart wrenching.
Jimin’s words hit home here.
But this was very very heartwarming to hear ...
All of these activities that closed out Chapter 1 will forever be so bittersweet to me as a fan because of the timing of my BTS journey. I was literally heartbroken when I realized my anticipation to attend a concert this year was for naught.
But during these activities, you can see the light and hope in their eyes and sense their anticipation to move on and that just makes my heart swell with pride for them. They are ready to face their futures and though we all know there are some uncertainties, they have assured us over and over that we will all get through it together.
FIGHTING!
On another note, for the record, I did not feel like Jimin and Jungkook were doing anything out of the ordinary. Nor Tae and Jungkook. There were not lingering side-eye glances. There was nothing that signaled discomfort. The members were just there, getting through these grueling yet rewarding days.
I have seen enough since to know everything is still the same between Jimin and Jungkook. They are still together though Jimin is very busy and focused on his album. Tae is living his best life these days (and it’s not with Jungkook.)
I choose not to “read” into things when I watch content like this. Meaning, I don’t start watching it with the intent to find things that are not there. I tend to just take it as it is and listen to what they are saying. I notice gestures, facial expressions, body language, conversation, tones of voices, etc. for context.
Those trying to pin some significance on the roses and who was holding who’s roses... at some point, Jimin and Jungkook swapped bouquets. We don’t know when or why, but they did. Jungkook was not holding Tae’s flowers. I know the cult is fighting for that one but oh well.
And really, more importantly ... I would like to know what Jimin does to switch between Mr. Shy and Embarrassed to take a picture...
Into this ....
I predict we will start to see teasers for this at the end of this coming week.
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Big Dragon Ep 5 Thoughts
-This continues to be the only show I do this for. It greatly increases my enjoyment of the show to post like this and I cannot explain why. I wish y’all could see and hear my reactions in real time though because they’re kind of hilarious. Anyway time for my favorite assholes!
-I cannot lie. I love this opening song. And the visuals. It has no business being this good.
-Unrelated but the wind is so strong right now I’m pretty sure it just blew through my building. I felt a breeze and a receipt blew across my table and onto my floor. I should probably be concerned but this is one of those situations where I have no control so whatever is gonna happen is gonna happen and there’s no use stressing about it. I’ll probably be fine.
-Oh so Mangkorn was telling her no and she wasn’t listening. I mean he could have removed her at any time but I don’t blame him for wanting her to LISTEN. Considering this show started with a mutual sexual assault there is an insanely good amount of consent.
-This is no longer the Bad Buddy song. The soundtrack has changed. Love that.
-Of COURSE it starts raining. Why wouldn’t it?
-YES. KEEP PUNCHING EACH OTHER. VIOLENCE.
-Oh look. They’re fucking again. Thought it was weird that it was taking so long for them to fuck again. *eats Cheetos*
-Oh no not the model!
-Can he cook for me?
-Oh this is so sweet. He made Yai a dish his mother used to make for him when we all know Yai has been particularly missing his mother lately. A mother’s love comes in all forms.
-Aw they’re treating each other’s wounds. That they caused. They really went from punching each other in the face to fucking with no steps in between.
-They make each other better and they make each other worse.
-For the love of god, please do not just throw away the sd card with your sex tape on it. If you want it gone, properly destroy it. Who knows who will go digging through yall’s trash.
-Are they communicating? What’s happening. Or their version of communicating.
-These boys always eat seaweed snacks. What would happen if I fed them a cheeto?
-Y’all literally just had an intense fucking session and y’all are shocked by the kiss while eating the seaweed?
-Caught in the ACT.
-I may or may not be in love with Mangkorn’s mother. Her facial expressions are sending me. I’ve been launched into orbit. I want to go get drinks with this woman.
-At least they weren’t having sex when she walked in. Can you IMAGINE?
-Y’all really broke everything while fucking. His mom was probably concerned. Probably thought he’d been robbed or was hurt. And she comes home to find y’all kissing over some seaweed.
-BODYGUARDS. They don’t video call from the void like Yai’s father. Seriously. Why did he call from the void?
-The amount I love Park and Pong is absurd.
-None of these three know how to clean.
-Boy was thinking about dick while eating that corn dog. Horny jail.
-Oh here comes the drama. It’s payback for making me watch you thinking about dick while eating that corn dog with my own two eye holes . It’s KARMA.
-Please for the love of god, let Hong be a lesbian. It’s all I want.
-Mangkorn, let me help you with your words “I do not like Hong. We grew up together and are close. There is some family stuff I need to sort out before I can tell you more, but I don’t like her and she doesn’t like me.” There done. You don’t gotta tell him everything but geez you gotta give him something. He’s an insecure little baby.
-Is this…communication?
-This scene is too long. It’s too long of just people standing on talking.
-They're just hurting each other. But this time with words instead of fists.
-Oh no. No no no no no no no. You stop that. You put that microphone down. Don’t make me go over there. If you start singing I swear to god
-Yai is such a little drama queen.
-DO NOT SING. WHY. WHAT DID I DO TO DEAERVE THIS.
-Fast forwarding is the best thing that’s ever happened.
-You see. This is why you shouldn’t give a drunk person a microphone.
-That caterpillar is so random.
-Nine is cute. He’s too nice for Yai though. Only Mangkorn for Yai. Only assholes for assholes.
-This scene is so precious though. Of course Mangkorn is gonna catch them kissing. Are they kissing? Where else would the drama come from? His arranged marriage? No that would be too obvious.
-End of episode. Next week looks promising. Love that for us.
#big dragon#big dragon the series#big dragon bl#i really didn't expect to love this show so much but here i am
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Brutally Analyzing EPEX’s Stage Presence Archetypes
Another typical day of scrolling videos on Youtube. One video I came across was from the username "everglow-up." I knew the clickbait-y title would lure me into her channel, but boy did I find the video interesting and informative.
youtube
This video was particularly talking about Billlie's Stage Presence Archetypes based on the following:
Aura (Feminine vs Masculine)
Energy Type (Overt vs Covert)
Energy Type (Overt vs Covert)
Presence Type (Dominant vs Charismatic vs Sensual)
If you'd like a deep dive into those concepts, go ahead and check out the video I have linked above, or check out this video of hers as well.
youtube
I have also seen her do an analysis of other groups like EXO and Red Velvet, but I haven't seen her do EPEX or NCT (which I might make a blog on in the future).
I will mainly focus on EPEX's Stage Presence Archetypes using those concepts.
Disclaimer: This is not to determine whether a member's presence is good or bad, but I will point out some of their weak points. I am not writing this to hate on any member nor will sugarcoat any of my takes. If you disagree with any of these, it's okay—just don't be a jerk about it. If you want to, then don't read this.
Ayden
Masculine Overt Charismatic
youtube
As a performer, Ayden seems underappreciated. He has one of the best stage presence in the group. Similar to Keum, he also has the perfect balance of almost everything. He tends to maintain great consistency and energy level throughout every performance. His strong facial expressions and body language are in perfect harmony.
At the same time, those facial expressions are appropriate for each concept. When he needs to exhibit the cutesy "Noona's Cat," he becomes this little dancing ball of fur, especially with his fluffy platinum-blonde hair. Oh, man!! It was such a joy to watch. When he needs to exude a dark "Rebellious Wolf," he turns a 180. He would give you passion and hardcore. In other words, he is a versatile performer. His fancams are never tiring to watch.
Overall, the issue with his stage presence would be his face looks too aggressive sometimes. But it's not bothersome enough to ruin his performances.
Keum
Masculine Overt Dominant-Charismatic
youtube
The first thing that I thought when I saw Keum's stage presence was, "I love it!" From facial expressions to body language, he has the perfect balance in almost any aspect. He knows what facial expressions are suitable for each concept and do these effortlessly without seeming too intense.
I've seen his performances in Produce X 101, and they were crème de la crème. His Dominant side started to manifest during Believer, and integrating it with his Charismatic facial expressions was just on point. As for Super Special Girl, it showed how he can smoothly adapt to a wide range of concepts.
Under normal circumstances, performers look dead when they stop moving their faces. But with Keum, he manages to capture my attention regardless.
On the other hand, his stage presence comes with extraneous factors despite carrying out consistently good performances. His wardrobe styling and hair color choices could be the leading contributors to this. While everyone else had hair and outfits with vivid colors, he stuck to the monotonous palette during Do 4 Me era. This made him visually overshadowed by (for lack of a better word) more multicolored members like Baekseung or Ayden. I wish he had a more striking hair color other than blond with brighter concepts.
Wish
Masculine Overt Charismatic-Sensual
youtube
Wish is like the Overt version of EXO Xiumin. He has both strong facial expressions and body language whenever he performs. He tends to move in an "in your face" manner with a hint of such subtlety.
The performance that really showcased his Sensual side is Lone Wolf. That song was totally made for him. He had pink hair at the time they performed it on music shows, but the fact that he had black hair during their Seoul concert was such a cherry on top. It really helped in strengthening his overall stage presence.
However, the issue with Wish's stage presence is consistency. They tend to be what I call "all or nothing." One minute, he outperforms everyone, and then the next, his facial expressions are almost nonexistent. This happens when the camera pans away from him. He also seems to struggle with versatility, which becomes apparent when the song does not suit his stage presence archetype. He was quite too seductive in cute songs like Do 4 Me because he doesn’t have the right facial expressions, and was boring to watch on Hymn to Love because he didn’t have any.
Baekseung
Masculine Covert Charismatic
youtube
Baekseung possesses strong facial expressions. But unlike other Charismatic performers, his body language does not come across as “in your face.” Hence, I classify him as a Covert performer.
Despite his passive energy type, he was able to attract enough attention from the audience through his looks and hair color. This case was most evident with his long pink hair during Do 4 Me era. Apart from the fact that it makes him look like a real-life AI, it is one of the contributing factors to accentuating his naturally Charismatic stage presence.
Although Baekseung managed to maintain the same energy level throughout performances, versatility is something that he needs to work on. He made the facial expressions work for each performance, but he has been doing the exact same set for songs with totally different vibes. For instance, he winks and sticks his tongue out during AOTS (a dark hardcore song) the way he does with Do 4 Me (a light funky one).
Jeff
Masculine Overt Dominant-Charismatic
youtube
Jeff manages to balance both his Dominant side and Charismatic side. I was confused about classifying him as either one of the two at first. His facial expression is either too strong for a Dominant performer or too subtle for a Charismatic performer. Thus, I came to the conclusion that he is both.
He relies a lot on body language without having to become as expressive as other Charismatic performers. Even if he becomes as expressive, he does it with great timing. But for the most part, he furrows his brows and intensely stares into the camera for the entirety of each performance, which I'd like to call the "Squinty Eyebrows."
In that sense, it's both a pro and a con. It's a pro because even if he doesn't do much with his face, he doesn't come across as boring. Similar to Baekseung, it's a con because THAT'S IT. That's all he does whenever he performs. He may do a little aegyo or the double squinty brows and all that jazz. But other than that, he's bringing nothing new to the table.
A-Min
Feminine Covert Dominant-Sensual
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Being the only Feminine performer in the group, one thing I like about A-Min is that he has great chemistry with a group full of masculine performers. Despite the difference in stage presence aura, he blends in so well since he is a Covert performer. There are three other Covert performers in the group, making him not seem entirely invisible in performances.
A-Min doesn't do much with his face but projects it through his body language instead. He has both loud and subtle movements without making it seem "in your face," which I think is still interesting to watch. This, in turn, makes him both a Dominant and a Sensual performer. Lone Wolf is THAT performance that he absolutely nailed along with Wish, another Sensual performer. Whoever thought of making them do a dance duet in the intro is such a genius. It really displayed their sensual sides so well.
However, I thought A-Min would show off his cuter side in songs with lighter concepts. But nah...he remained constant. He manages to keep a stable level of energy but lacks versatility. He does the same thing as he usually does with more serious concepts, making him less fascinating to watch. This is quite a shame because he has the potential to be more cutesy in a more Dominant performer way.
Yewang
Masculine Covert Dominant
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Like other Dominant performers, Yewang relies more on body movements. His facial expression would sometimes complement his overall stage presence (Not to be confused with Charismatic performers. They treat facial expressions as the main course of their stage presence, while Yewang's is a side dish).
However, he would come across as aloof (even more than MU) whenever he missed the right timing for the expressions. Either he stares at the camera and does the "squinty brows" the way Jeff does, or he looks straight-up dead.
He managed to improve some of these aspects in just a year. Just look at his fancams in No Questions compared to Hymn to Love. He was a bit dull and boring on the former, but he had a better grasp of what to do on the latter. He had better timing for using his face and toned his gaze down a bit, and it's not boring at all. He still needs to work on his longevity and consistency. He sometimes struggles to retain the same energy in the long run.
MU
Masculine Covert Dominant
youtube
MU, like Yewang, tends to use facial expressions to complement his stage presence. Except, it doesn't work at all. In other words, he is a Dominant performer trying hard to exude Charisma. This is why watching his fancams often felt like watching a triangle trying to fit into a round hole (particularly during the AOTS era). He emphasized his facial expressions so much that they came across as unnatural. While it is supposed to aid his stage presence, it just looks so funny and awkward on him.
I get that he wants to go for the vibe of each concept, but I don't think he needs a loud face to do just that. He could just stand there and still be entertaining to watch. All he has to do is rely more on body language. He was able to attain this with his performance during Breathtaking, and it was...breathtaking. It was pleasant to watch, as he did a fantastic job utilizing his stage presence.
On a side note, he still struggles to fit in his Dominant side in EPEX's Dark and Charismatic-heavy concepts, which makes him more aloof than he actually is. He is not a bad performer, just a confused one. He hasn't explored himself as a performer enough to find the right stage presence type. He has a long way to go.
Group Chemistry
EPEX overall has yet to fully establish their chemistry on stage. Despite this, they have a perfect balance of Overt and Covert performers. While they have a balanced number of Dominant, Charismatic, and Sensual performers, there's no doubt that their performances cater to the Charismatic performers. The songs and choreographies are Charismatic-heavy, so it makes sense that members with this archetype stand out the most. It does not help that most of them are Overt performers. Heck, even Baekseung stood out among them. While he is a Covert performer, he is also a Charismatic one.
This does not imply that non-Charismatic performers live in their shadows, as there are Charismatic members who also have another archetype. Keum and Jeff are both Charismatic and Dominant, while Wish is both Charismatic and Sensual. That does not disorient them from Dominant performers, especially A-Min, who is also a Sensual performer.
It would have been better if they had more concepts or choreographies that show their Dominant side, especially when the non-Charismatic Dominant performers are all Covert.
Subjective Takes
I know—it seems like I have written Keum as the one with the best stage presence, but Ayden takes the lead on who is more interesting to watch. Apart from the hair color choice, he tends to bring more charm and color to every concept in comparison. I realized this when I tried to watch another member's fancam (I think it was a Baekseung one). I accidentally saw Keum and Ayden next to each other, but the latter happened to captivate my attention more.
As for the rest, they are great performers. Maybe they're not as excellent as you want them to be now, but there is always room for improvement.
I believe EPEX as a group has so much potential, especially Wish. They are the group whose growth and development would totally look forward to.
After all, it has only been a year since they debuted, and they have six more years to learn and perform better. STAN EPEX!!
#Youtube#epex#wish#keum#mu#a-min#baekseung#ayden#yewang#jeff#이펙스#위시#금동헌#뮤#아민#백승#에이든#예왕#제프#kpop#kpop epex#stage presence#stage presence archetypes
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mama, we all go to hell - bucky barnes
She said, "You ain't no son of mine!"
For what you've done, they're
Gonna find a place for you
And just you mind your manners when you go.
Plot: “Do you miss your mother, Mister Barnes?” // Or, Bucky’s therapist asks him to write his mother a letter, explaining the last seventy years of his life.
Warnings: Mentions of Bucky’s past as The Winter Soldier. Everything he did as TWS or had done to him by HYDRA is mentioned or implied, as is Bucky’s current mental state. But also mentions of death/murder, blood, violence, nightmares and of his time as a soldier. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know.
Notes: This is for @whumptober Day 14: Die a Hero or Live Long Enough to Become a Villain and it’s based on the song Mama by My Chemical Romance, which is one of my fave songs ever, and I think it fits Bucky perfectly. You can listen to it here.
“Do you miss your mother, Mister Barnes?” Bucky Barnes’ therapist asks him one day. The question cuts through Bucky like a knife. For a moment, it even stuns him into silence. She’s never asked something like this. This is new and unexpected. Ever since he left HYDRA and became a member of the Avengers, Bucky has had to attend weekly court mandated therapy appointments every Tuesday afternoon at 2.30pm sharp to make sure that he’s acclimating well to his new life and to his new mind. And every week, it’s the same questions: how are you doing, how are the nightmares, how’s the guilt, how many murders did you dream about, and so on. Each week, the questions are repeated. Of course, Bucky knows what they really want from him by asking those questions. Everyone tries their best to hide it, but he’s been alive enough to know when someone is bullshitting him. They hope that by shoving him into these appointments every week, he’ll atone for his past enough that he won’t go on a killing rampage again. And then they can all pat themselves on the back for a job well done. Acting as if a past like his, or a brain like his, can be fixed with just talking about it and feeling bad. No fucking chance.
It’s not that Bucky doesn’t want to feel better and come to terms with what he’s done. Of course he does. He’s not the monster he was anymore, and he wants people to know that. Sure, people have started calling him Sergeant again, which is nice. It’s still taking him a while to accumulate to it, but he still appreciates it. But a good interaction like that is not always the case. In fact, most of Bucky Barnes’ interaction with people is just them staring at him. Of course, he’s the first to admit he has a staring problem, but it’s not nice to be on the receiving end of one. The people’s facial expressions vary. Of course, he gets people who recognise him as an Avenger, and they smile and wave at him. Although Bucky still isn’t used to those kinds of interactions, he enjoys them, and hopes he’ll experience more like them. Even if deep down, he knows he doesn’t deserve it. Not after a past like his, and the things he’s done. He’s not a hero. He never was.
Some people frown and whisper to their friends and family, wondering where they recognise him from, and if he’s the person they’re thinking of. The Soldat. Of course, practically everyone knows by now that Bucky’s been pardoned and isn’t the Soldat anymore…but that doesn’t lessen the pain for him, or for anyone else. He knows it’s not his fault either, and he’s glad to finally do some good in the world for once by being an Avenger. But you try telling one of his victim’s family members that their murderer is both walking free, and is a member of one of the most revered group of superheroes in the world and see how it goes.
Whenever people stare at him like that, Bucky always has to turn his face away, just in case they say something to him. In case a “Hey, didn’t you kill my cousin?” or words to that effect interrupt his shopping trip, or his simple mid morning walk. In case Bucky’s attempt for peace and respite are torn away from him once more.Those kinds of looks sting, but the worst looks are the blank stares. The faces who Bucky swears don’t even blink, because they’re trying to wrestle with years of torment and pain. Pain caused by him.
And then, if that wasn’t enough, there’s the nightmares. Every night, he sees someone else, their face twisted with fear or pain as they stare down the barrel of Bucky’s gun. He barely knows their name or why he was sent after them, but that doesn’t matter. Their screams as they beg for their lives are more than enough to haunt him. So, of course Bucky wants to atone for what he’s done. He just wishes it wasn’t so damn hard. In all honesty, Bucky Barnes just wants it all to stop. The pain, the guilt, the nightmares, the stares, the whispers. Everything. But Bucky knows that he and his brain are far too screwed up to be ‘fixed’, despite how much everyone keeps telling him what a good job he’s doing, and how with time and patience he’ll be back to his old self in no time. Bucky just thinks they’re patronising him when they talk to him like that. Or maybe they’re just genuinely trying to help, and he’s just being an asshole. The asshole it seems that he’s always destined to be. Sometimes, Bucky thinks that it’s pointless trying to rehabilitate him. Maybe he’s just too broken to be fixed.
So that’s Bucky Barnes’ life. Avengers stuff, a mound of guilt, a lot of nightmares, and a therapy appointment every week. Same old, same old.
Until one week, it all changes, and his therapist asks him if he misses his mother on a rainy Tuesday afternoon. “Mister Barnes? I asked you a question.” Bucky doesn’t know what to say when she speaks again. All he can do is frown in confusion. What sort of question is that? Obviously he misses his mother. He’s not seen her in at least eighty five years.
“Of course I do.” The therapist nods and writes something in her little notebook. Bucky always wonders what she’s writing, and this time is no different. She opens her mouth to ask another question, but before she can, Bucky interrupts her with a “Why?” His therapist smiles, chuckling slightly. Judging by the tone of her laughter, Bucky braces himself for what’s coming next.
“I thought it would be beneficial for you to write her a letter, or to just imagine yourself talking to her.”
“And say what, exactly? She’s been dead for about eighty five years.”
“There you go then.” She announces, gesturing to him with a smile. “You’ll have plenty to talk to her about.” Obviously seeing the look of bewilderment on Bucky’s face, she sighs. “Look. Plenty of people look to their mothers for support, and I’m told that the relationship you had with your mother was incredibly close before you went to war.” Ah yes. When Bucky went off to fight and lost everything. To this day, Bucky swears that his true self never came back from that war, and that a part of him died on that HYDRA experimentation table. Although sometimes he wishes that all of him had died, and that he wouldn’t be this shell of a human instead, walking through life on autopilot. Of course, he hasn’t told his therapist that. Bucky simply nods. “And that is why I’d like you to write your mother a letter for our next appointment.” His therapist continues, and Bucky gasps.
“You’re giving me homework now, doc?” He asks, forcing out a chuckle to hide the fact that this is the last thing he wants to do. Because how the fuck is this supposed to help him feel better about his past? He worries enough about what everyone else thinks about him. The last thing he needs is to imagine his mother’s reaction to his bloodstained past. His therapist sighs.
“Look, Mister Barnes, I know this isn’t exactly an ideal task for you, but I really think this could be beneficial in your recovery. After all, it’s obvious that you love your mother dearly, so getting all of your past out and written on paper, and then imagining her reaction to it could help you deal with your feelings. And it should help you find ways to work around them.” She continues, and Bucky has to bite his tongue to stop another witty remark from coming out, even though he knows there’s no way this will help, or that he’ll even do it.
However, his therapist's words, and the task she set, continue to play on his mind for the rest of the day, and well into the evening and night. As he gets ready to sleep (or at least, try to sleep), Bucky glances at his fridge, where a photo of him and Steve from their war days hangs. In all honesty, Bucky doesn’t know who or where Steve got the picture from, but he’s glad to have a positive connection to his past. As he looks at it, a pang strikes his heart. He and Steve were so innocent back then, and so unaware of what they were getting into. More often than not, Bucky wishes he never went to war at all. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be standing here, trying to make amends for his bloodstained past, something that seems less and less likely as time goes on.
“Writing a letter to my mom will help fix all my messes.” Bucky mutters with a scoff. “Yeah, right.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
Later that night, Bucky awakes with a start after yet another nightmare. Groaning, he turns on the small lamp beside him, illuminating the room in a soft glow. “Why did I even bother trying to sleep?” Bucky grumbles as he yawns. “This always happens.” The clock on the wall opposite him reads just before 2.30am. At least he got an extra hour this time. Groaning, Bucky gets up, making himself yet another cup of coffee, his early morning routine already ingrained in his brain. Hopefully, there’s a good movie on TV to distract him. However, as he sips the strong liquid in his mug, Bucky’s mind once again drifts to his therapist’s words.
“Getting all of your past out and written on paper, and then imagining her reaction to it could help you deal with your feelings. And it should help you find ways to work around them.” Even though something like this is the last thing Bucky wants to do, with a sigh, he realises he doesn’t really have a choice. He does want to make amends and get better, so if this is how he has to do it, then so be it. And besides, his therapist might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but she can be pretty convincing when she wants to be. If all else fails, at least he has a way to pass the time. So, Bucky pulls out a piece of paper, and writes:
“Dear Mom, I haven’t really spoken to you in a while. The last time I saw you was about eighty five years ago. But there are some things you should know.” Across the top of the page. And with that, Bucky thinks back to his past.
Mama, we all go to hell
Mama, we all go to hell
I'm writing this letter and wishing you well
Mama, we all go to hell
Oh well now, Mama, we're all gonna die
Mama, we're all gonna die
Stop asking me questions, I hate to see you cry
Mama, we're all gonna die
“Firstly, I went to war, so I hope you’re proud of me. Especially because I saw far too much pain and suffering, enough for a lifetime. Steve went to war too, despite his habits of getting into trouble and getting sick. You were always worried about us and the trouble we were getting into. But god, you should see him now though, mom. He joined a government program, and they injected him with some kind of serum and turned him into this super powered soldier. Captain America, they call him now. He was a big part of the fight during the war, and now he’s part of a group called the Avengers, and they fight to save the world even more. Can you believe that? Little Stevie, the kid with the scraped knees you cleaned in our kitchen, is now a Captain, and a superhero.”
And when we go don't blame us, yeah
We'll let the fires just bathe us, yeah
You made us oh so famous;
We'll never let you go
And when you go don't return to me my love
Mama, we're all full of lies
Mama, we're meant for the flies
And right now they're building a coffin your size
Mama, we're all full of lies
Bucky glances down at his metal arm, the gold and black shining in the limited light. He’s incredibly grateful to T’Challa and the Wakandans for his new arm. Despite that though, Bucky remembers how it used to look…and how much blood used to stain it, how much still stains it, even now. With a sigh, Bucky almost considers abandoning the project. But then, he remembers how much he wants the pain to stop. And so, he continues writing. “I’ve changed a lot, too.”
Well mother what the war did to my legs and to my tongue.
You should have raised a baby girl
I should've been a better son
If you could coddle the infection
They can amputate at once
You should've been
I could have been a better son
And when we go don't blame us, yeah
We'll let the fires just bathe us, yeah
You made us oh so famous;
We'll never let you go
“Well firstly, I have a new arm. It’s made of metal, and it’s…been with me through a lot. I lost it because I fell off a train. I know, I know, it was dumb to be up there. But I was doing it to help Steve. I was one of his Howling Commandos, helping him save the world. Oh mom, you should’ve seen it, me and Steve working together, just like old times. You would’ve loved it.” With another sigh, Bucky glances back at his metal arm. “I just wish it lasted longer than it did.” Before he continues writing, Bucky takes another moment to prepare himself. Because now, it’s time to talk about the Soldat.
“I wasn’t always a Howling Commando though. Before Steve found me, I was kidnapped by HYDRA, the enemy, and experimented on. They actually gave me a serum too, and I became like Steve…even though we didn’t know it at first. When I fell off the train, whatever they gave me helped survive the fall. And then HYDRA found me again, and wiped my memories of you, dad, Steve, my friends…everyone I ever knew and loved was gone.” Taking a deep breath and wiping his eyes, Bucky takes a moment to prepare himself to relive the worst times of his life. Or at least, the parts of it he can remember. Again, the thought of getting up and walking away crosses his mind. But just as he gets up, he thinks of finally being free from this torment. Even if this is just the start of his repentance, if it has to be done, then it has to be done. So, Bucky sits back down, and after another deep breath, he continues to write.
She said, "You ain't no son of mine!"
For what you've done they're
Gonna find a place for you
And just you mind your manners when you go.
And when you go don't return to me my love,
That's right
“After HYDRA found me and wiped my memories, they turned me into an assassin. They used me to exterminate anyone who spoke out about them or challenged them, anyone who saw what they weren’t to see.” Bucky sniffles, big tears rolling down his cheeks. “I killed so many people, mom, and ruined so many lives. So many families were destroyed because of me. I’m not your son anymore. I’m a monster.” His tears are starting to stain the paper, but he keeps writing. “Even though they brainwashed me, I still did it, so it is my fault. If you were still alive, you’d hate me. Everybody else does, even Steve. He never tells me, but I know he does. After all, I almost killed him, too. But after everything I’ve done, a part of me thinks I deserve to be hated. I put so many people through so much pain and suffering. So it’s more than fair I go through it too, right? Mine has to be worse, though.” With a sigh, Bucky leans back, looking outside the window at the pitch black sky outside. “Although sometimes, I think living with the nightmares that I have is enough suffering.”
Mama, we all go to hell
Mama, we all go to hell
It's really quite pleasant except for the smell
Mama, we all go to hell
Mama, Mama, Mama, ohhhh
Mama, Mama, Mama, ohhhh
“Now though, I’m going to therapy for what happened. That’s why I’m writing to you, actually. My doc thought it would be beneficial to me if I explained everything that happened to you, because we were close. And hopefully, you’d understand. However, I don’t think you would. You raised me to be good, and to be better than this monster I’ve become. A former shell of myself. Actually, the therapy isn’t really for my benefit. They keep telling me that, but I can tell they’re lying. Just like how I could always tell when pops was lying about how sick you were. Remember that, mom?” Bucky furiously wipes at his eyes, cursing that he can’t get the tears to stop. “They keep acting like the therapy is to bring the old me back and to help me heal, but I know the truth. It’s because they’re too scared to let me back into society, in case I go on another murderous rampage. And the sad thing is I don’t even blame them. In all honesty, I don’t even think I’m healed, either. I’m terrified of becoming a killing machine again. I wish I could bring the old Bucky, your Bucky, back more than anything, but I think I’m too far gone. I think a part of me died on that train.”
And if you would call me a sweetheart
I'd maybe then sing you a song
But the shit that I've done with this fuck of a gun
You would cry out your eyes all night
“Deep down, a part of me hoped this assignment would work, that it would help me bring back my old self and finally heal. But it’s not working. I’m sorry, mom. Sorry that I’m such a fuck up and such a monster. If you were still alive, you’d be so disappointed in me. It’s okay, though. I’m disappointed in myself enough for us both.” Bucky’s sure his writing is indiscernible through his tears by this point, but he knows he’s almost done. And then, he never has to think about the effect it has on his mother ever again. So, he gives one last push.
We're damned after all
Through fortune and flame, we fall
And if you can stay then I'll show you the way
To return from the ashes you call
We all carry on
When our brothers in arms are gone
So raise your glass high for tomorrow we die
And return from the ashes you call
“So yeah. That’s what I’ve been up to recently - trying desperately to make amends for what I’ve done, even though deep down I know it’s impossible, no matter how much I try and try. I’m just too broken to be fixed. I’m no longer just James ‘Bucky’ Barnes. I’m the Soldat, a monster, a nightmare. And that’s what I’ll always be. I’m sorry I let you down, mom. I hope you can forgive me wherever you are.
Love,
Bucky.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
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#whumptober2022#no.14#Die a Hero or Live Long Enough to Become a Villain#buckybarnes#fic#the winter soldier#trauma#blood#violence#death#murder#Bucky Barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fic#bucky fanfic
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Why I love the Spymaster #105: He's a dancer!
Find my full series under the HELP I WUVS HIM tag.
The Spymaster is a notoriously unrestrained character. His repetitions [#31] show how use does not seem to think before he speaks, but in the very process of speaking. He seems to think by acting out his thoughts and emotions [#11: You can SEE his mind at work!]. Additionally, his gestures provide insight into his preoccupations [#12: His brainfingers!]. He involuntarily vibrates when he's angry [#2] and when he's happy [#104]. He rocks from side to side unselfconsciously when anticipating something [#14], flaps when happy [#78], and exhibits lots of movements associated with autistic stimming and ticcing [see #78 for an extensive list].
The Spymaster is also notorious for dancing, i.e., moving purposefully with rhythm and choreography. We have him intentionally twirling in Spyfall I, right after he says he controls everything:
We have another twirl in The Power of the Doctor when he explains to Thirteen that the CyberMasters and Daleks are his "fam:"
And then, of course, there's his actual dance party to Rasputin shortly afterward.
Saying that the Spymaster is a dancer is different from celebrating his nerdy dancing [#3] or his OMINOUS yet dweeby dancing [#69]. Both of those mini essays focus on instances of dancing, but this mini essay speaks more generally. "He's a dancer!" = The Spymaster likes dancing, and he's a dancer, insofar as a dancer is someone who makes art out of the body in motion.
I call him a dancer for the following reasons:
He already emanates his emotions through facial expression, hand gestures, and bodily movements, so dancing, an art about one's body in motion, has an understandable appeal to him.
Dance, like theater, is a performance art, calling on an audience to admire the dancer's beauty and physical prowess. This appeals to the Spymaster because he's an over-the-top performer who needs an audience and also because he considers himself beautiful.
We know he likes club music [#96: Further implications of the Rasputin song!], so Rasputin [Majestic remix] is probably not the only tune he likes to groove to.
While expressive, dancing is not the same as the Spymaster's sometimes involuntary physical expression of emotion that the Spymaster frequently has. Dancing involves intentional control of one's body, which speaks deeply to the Spymaster, who's constantly worrying that he has lost control.
Another reason for the Spymaster's fondness for dancing connects to his neurodeviance or neurodivergence [#47]. I imagine that the Spymaster may be frustrated on occasion with his involuntary or unconscious stimming/ticcing. The planned choreography of dancing may help him to feel more at home with himself and grounded. In fact, his overall serious expression and relatively restrained body language during the Rasputin dance indirectly suggest that his dance of intimidation may be successfully quieting his impulses of nervous energy.
And on that note, folks, I am taking a break. I have been inflicting HELP I WUVS HIM mini essays about the Spymaster onto a hapless public for two solid months now. I haven't run out of mini essays. I've just run out of motivation.
Possible future topics include American Gothic, the Spymaster's gender, the Spymaster in the short story "The Master and Margarita," detailed analysis of the seismology professor costume, "Did you know she used to be a man?", and more!
Also, if all three of my readers have any things that you love about the Spymaster, feel free to send them to me. Or if you notice interesting things about the character and you have your own interpretations, send them along too. I don't guarantee that I will use what you send, but I will credit and tag you if I do.
P.S. If you like the kind of Masterful humor abounding in these essays, check out my parody self-help book Your Villain & You. It features a LOT of characters who look suspiciously like the Spymaster!
@natalunasans @sclfmastery @timeladyjamie @whovianuncle @rowanthestrange
#the spymaster#spymaster#sacha dhawan#HELP I WUVS HIM#body language#dancing#he's a dancer#stimming#ticcing#interpretive dance#everything's a dance#doctor who#dw meta#dancing while neurodeviant#dancing while neurodivergent#neurodeviance#neurodivergence
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FIRST LISTEN : The structure is the same as other black pink songs but it’s pretty obvious that lyric wise they did go for something different. I have to say, i don’t hate it but I’m sure that people will be hating it. I liked that the strong vocal part at the end was shared by Jisoo and Rose, and I liked Jennie and Lisa’s rap part (that might be a n unpopular opinion) a lot more than the other raps they’ve done. It didn’t make me cringe at all, which is rare. The chorus is pretty catchy in my opinion.
CLOSER ANALYSIS: I really liked the opening scene, with Jisoo, it caught my eye and I liked how they made that part. The BLAAACKPINK part, I did not hate. I actually liked how different it was. Jennie’s first verse… it’s growing on me. I really love Jennie’s tone when she raps, and besides that first line, I like the rest of her first verse. ALSO lisa always has the really cringey lines in bc songs, and I did not cringe. ‘Look what you made us do’…. I like that part, Roses voice and the way she sings it made it powerful for me. I saw someone say Taylor swift vibes, and yeah that obv reminds me of Taylor. but the rest of the song does not. I realllly liked Jisoo’s lines. Obviously translations never capture the beauty of languages, but the English translations made her lines sound really pretty.
the chorus. I knew it was the chorus while listening, but looking over it, it is… def not a blackpink chorus. But I don’t see anything wrong with that. It is repetitive, and soft but i actually lik that. It made it catchy very quickly. I also love the music video, the styling, the makeup, just mm it looks very good in the first chorus.
The rap is shocking every time I listen to it, BUT I LOVE RAPS like the one that they did, so I’m glad it’s in there. I was definitely listening close for lyrics that would be… well cancellable, but I think they veered from it. I really liked Jennie in this rap, which is expected, but i liked Lisa’s rap too, which was not something I was expecting, so I’m glad i liked it.
The repeated pre-chorus. Blackpink stick with their structure of leaving the pre chorus up to rose and Jisoo, giving them the same lines and then switching who sings them… I did not like it this time though. It was so much better when they first sang it, they really suited their first lines.
I again liked the outfits and sets in the second chorus. I also am interested in how they shot solo shots and sprinkle them in there. A lot oof it tends to be Jennie and Lisa cause they’re the ones saying the chorus, but the shots are so quick to leave Jisoo and Rose that it annoys me. I wish they held onto those shots for longer.
now here’s the part that ruined the song for me. The gra ta ta ta. I mean, it just feels lazy. you couldn’t put lyrics? You couldn’t put interesting instrumentals like the beginning? It didn’t even feel like a yg party anthem part. it’s boring and plain and it takes out the enjoyment of the song for me.
The music video, outfits, sets, everything about it from that perspective, I loved, but it’s Blackpink and they always serve on that aspect. the music… well, as you know, I enjoyed it until the very end with the gra ta ta ta. if that part was taken out, I’d genuinely like the song. Definitely not a favourite song of the year, but I like this different style of music for blackpink.
before I end this, i do have a tiny thought that could get me attacked. I don’t think Jisoo suits this concept well? every time a shot is on her, her facial expression is so plain? i understand struggling with making expressions as intense as Jennie’s or Lisa’ but its just a stark contrast because it’ll be a shot of rose or Jennie or lisa and then Jisoo is there like 😐 and it’s very obvious, despite the minimal screen time that Jisoo has when all four members are together.
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KIM GARAM: “I’m the one who chose this path, so I’m trying to make sure I never lose my original passion”
Right from the outset, GARAM’s dream was to be a singer. The same girl who once felt inner freedom just from watching performances on music TV shows is now ready to stand on the stage herself.
The way you look so confident at the beginning of your debut song, “FEARLESS,” is really impressive.
KIM GARAM: I kept thinking, What am I supposed to do here? What if I mess up? I had to be intense to make a strong impression, but I was a little worried since I felt like that didn’t really come across well. Luckily I think I’ve been getting better since I’ve been completely absorbed in the song’s concept while shooting everything lately. Everyone tells me my facial expressions got a lot better, so I’m slowly gaining confidence. (laughs)
Your performance is really balanced and attention-grabbing when you’re in the center during the second time through the chorus.
KIM GARAM: It was hard to express the intended intensity of the lyrics “what you lookin’ at”, and I thought that it was important to act and convey the meaning through dance. So I tried to get into character by watching dramas and movies that fit in with our concept. Looking at Korean movies, the character of Yenicall from The Thieves is both strong and alluring-ish? That’s what I was going for.
Am I correct in assuming that it was your first time creating such a strong presence?
KIM GARAM: Up until I joined the group, I mostly practiced poppy songs. Now I think “FEARLESS” is a good fit for me, too. (laughs)
You must be really busy lately, getting ready to debut.
KIM GARAM: Everything is new to me, so even up until just recently I have been really nervous. I was really looking forward to making trailers and music videos ever since we were slated to debut, so I tried my best, even when it felt awkward. I want to continue taking on new challenges in the future, even when they’re completely new to me. I’m really looking forward to performing, personally. I can’t wait to perform on music shows and in concerts and I want to keep improving so that I can be recognized for my talent someday.
I understand you spent one year as a trainee. How was that?
KIM GARAM: It felt just like I had the same kind of freedom you get from going to an academy. I got out of school early every day to practice, always left at the same time and ate with the other trainees. I remember leaving school early and getting something to eat with EUNCHAE before going to the practice studio and saying things like, “What do you want to do if you debut?” (laughs) There were little things like that. Then I only went to school once or twice a week after joining the group sometime last summer so I could focus on getting ready for the debut.
When did you first start dreaming of becoming an idol?
KIM GARAM: I wanted to be a singer ever since I was in kindergarten. I was really introverted when I was little, so I was way quieter than I am now, but I could feel my personality change a bit whenever I sang and danced. I sang in a school show in kindergarten and on a karaoke machine with my family when we went to a vacation home (laughs) and was outgoing and had a ton of fun instead of sitting around quietly, but only at times like those. Then my friend asked me to go to an audition together one day, and I started to actually work toward becoming a singer, beginning with that audition in 2018.
How did you end up as a trainee at SOURCE MUSIC?
KIM GARAM: Interestingly enough, SOURCE MUSIC was the first label I auditioned for. I didn’t make it in at first, but I got a casting offer two years after that. (laughs) I passed after auditioning again and became a trainee for the first time.
How did you practice when you practiced by yourself?
KIM GARAM: Only my family knew I was preparing to audition back then, so I did whatever I could to practice by myself and asked them to film me singing and dancing. I have a brother who’s 10 years younger than me and sometimes he would follow along with my moves next to me when I was practicing. It was cute. (laughs)
I bet you find him really cute since he’s so much younger than you. (laughs)
KIM GARAM: He’s seven (laughs) but we always played and goofed around together despite our age difference. We were just typical siblings—like friends. (laughs) But we live separately now so I don’t know how big he’s gotten, and we only see each other now and then so it feels weird when we do. We’re a little shy with each other at first but we quickly get back to having fun like old times, but it’s still a little bit sad.
How did your family react to the news that you were going to debut?
KIM GARAM: The first thing I did was talk to my parents. They said they were very happy for me and proud, and said, “I can’t believe it! You did it!” I think my brother sort of understands what I’m doing, too. He was so happy when he heard I would be on TV and said he would have my back whenever I’m having a hard time. (laughs)
How does it feel achieving a dream you’ve held on to for so long?
KIM GARAM: I actually wasn’t confident I would be able to debut, even right up until the last minute. Nobody can be sure how it’s all going to turn out until the debut teaser video is revealed. But I was so happy when I heard we were definitely going to debut, and thought back on all the time I spent practicing. I absolutely love it and it’s what I want to do, and I feel like I’ve been giving it my all and trying with all my heart.
How did you feel when you saw yourself on camera while shooting all those photos and videos?
KIM GARAM: These photoshoots showed me for the first time what I really look like. (laughs) I thought I had fairly tall eyes, but I felt like they’re actually wider than I thought. (laughs) I found out which angles work best for my face and I think I’m progressively learning what to do to make better facial expressions.
It must have been all new for you to record your vocals and hear your own voice after, too.
KIM GARAM: It was the first time really hearing my own voice and it was so awkward. I thought I had a fairly low voice, but I sounded like a baby when I sang. (laughs) And I never knew that I have a habit of not opening my mouth wide enough, so I worked really hard to stop that. At first it felt like I was singing somebody else’s song, even though it was ours, but I’m much more used to it now, so I don’t feel like I’m singing somebody else’s song anymore. (laughs)
It sounds like you’re really getting to know yourself while doing this.
KIM GARAM: It seems like I have a lot to learn. Yesterday we were practicing for live performances and it was my first time wearing in-ear monitors. They’re exactly the same size as your ears so it was super uncomfortable and painful. (laughs) After I heard my voice, um … I felt like I needed a lot of practice. (laughs) I actually didn’t get a chance to show off my vocals much this time around, so later on I want to really nail a song with really powerful vocals, since I’ve never had a chance to try that before, and I want to do a lot of covers, too.
What kind of music do you usually listen to?
KIM GARAM: I listen to a lot of pop music these days. I listen to it a lot to study up on my English pronunciation. (laughs) I found the pronunciation of the word “fearless” in our lead single to be really tricky but luckily YUNJIN guided me a lot when we first went to record it. (laughs)
What’s your first impression of “FEARLESS” like?
KIM GARAM: I thought it sounded a lot different from all the other K-pop I’ve ever heard. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I really wanted to break through the idea of what K-pop is supposed to sound like through songs like this. All the other members said they liked it as soon as they heard it, too, and kept saying how eager they were to learn the dance for it.
Is there any difference between when you dance to the poppy and bright “Blue Flame” versus when you dance to “FEARLESS”?
KIM GARAM: It’s extremely hard to dance to “FEARLESS” right after dancing to “Blue Flame,” but I think I can express myself more naturally if we dance to “FEARLESS” and then “Blue Flame” since it feels like the emotions are being elevated. There’s something captivating about the two-sidedness of going from a song with a powerful message to one that feels really bubbly, and it ultimately feels like the burst of energy that accompanies you when you set out on a journey, so I think I really liked the way that flows. But, after practicing more and more, I feel like I’m not quite capturing the feeling behind “Blue Flame.” (laughs) It was easy when I first learned it, but after a while I started to worry that I was just smiling a lot. Right now I’m thinking about different ways I can express an upbeat song like that.
It seems like you’re very ambitious about dancing.
KIM GARAM: I pay particularly close attention to the dancing part because I want to be a good dancer. If you can’t dance well, then the taller you are, the stiffer you look. And there are moves that emphasize that when I do “Blue Flame” especially, so I tried to make my movements bigger and gentler. I can also tell when I’m getting tired from dancing because I start to get sloppy, so I want to be more careful about that aspect, too.
Was it fairly simple getting in step with the other members for the performances?
KIM GARAM: Even though we all wanted to get it down quickly, we also wanted it to be perfect, so we could tell what wasn’t working without saying anything just by looking around and then fixed it. We started to figure out which parts needed more attention as we practiced more and more.
It sounds like you got along well straight away. It couldn’t have been easy spending most of your time with new people.
KIM GARAM: I think we naturally became close because we spend practically every waking moment together. It was somewhat awkward living all together at first since I like spending time alone and didn’t know what it means to be a team very well either, but I think I’m slowly changing and am becoming the kind of person who jumps at every chance to do something together now. I feel like our group grew especially close ever since our group photos were released recently. (laughs) There was so much to take care of before the debut, but I really shed my worries and felt reassured thanks to having time to get myself together and talk things through with them. I hope we’ll all be happy.
You probably feel more reassured thanks to having so many older members with experience in your group.
KIM GARAM: It was absolutely amazing being in the same group and practicing with people I used to see on TV. It was like I was looking at celebrities. (laughs) It was honestly a bit awkward at first, but I can depend on them because they take care of all the little things and are really supportive. CHAEWON, especially, usually jokes around a lot, but I thought it was so cool the way she’s so organized and exact with her words when we need to work on something together or she points out that something is wrong.
What would you say your role within the group is?
KIM GARAM: The funny one … ? (laughs) They all say everything I say is funny. I don’t really set the mood in the group and I can’t be funny on command (laughs) but I guess I’m just naturally funny. (laughs)
Even though you’re shy, you seem to have an animated side. Have you joined in on the fad and taken an MBTI test? (laughs)
KIM GARAM: I’m ISTP. (laughs) I need a little time to come out of my shell. I’m animated but quiet, direct but I don’t talk much (laughs). I think there’s a kind of ambiguity about me that way. I’m not very emotional, but there’s an emotional side to me.
Do you have a way of harnessing that emotion to find more energy?
KIM GARAM: Being alone. (laughs) I think I’m the kind of person who recharges herself by lying down quietly or doing something I enjoy by myself. Family is a major source of strength for me, too. Sometimes I felt bad when I was a trainee and I felt like I wasn’t improving at all or I felt physically exhausted, and I even wanted to give up early on, but whenever that happened, my family would support and encourage me and I realized I should see it through to the end.
So what is your source of happiness now?
KIM GARAM: I like bready foods, and cookies, and desserts. (laughs) So I watch a lot of baking videos, and I’m really into clothing these days, too. I started to like to wear pretty workout clothes to make it really feel like practice (laughs) so I had to go out shopping for them, and then I progressively developed an interest in everyday clothes, and ended up searching for the kind of airport fashion idols wear, too. (laughs) I still like simple clothes and a small highlight—the effortlessly chic look. (laughs)
I hope you have many more fun things to come after your debut.
KIM GARAM: I’m worried about having any improvements to show off after the debut and also excited at the same time. “When you feel like you want to give up, remember why you got started in the first place.” That’s my motto. It’s what I always wanted to do, and I’m the one who chose this path, so I’m trying to make sure I never lose my original passion and always try my best.
© source
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11.12.23 Sunday
3:38 am
Happy Blessed Sunday!!!
I still have windblow... I feel hurt... I feel bitter... I don't understand... It seems there is a windblow cry, literally cry not a sex moan.
I wanna leave the hometown... I'm hurting in this hometown...I never grow since 2007... Someone planned everything from the start... A playful mind took something from here from the start...
Still, thinking of money and job...
I wanna leave the hometown... I wanna leave this hometown... I never see myself growing old here happy....
Those people in the rituals time will come a fire as in a literally will be there with them and they will burn until they become ashes.
People in that rituals are not pure and not joining their fake hearts... They don't take it seriously but harm people... Time will come there will be a powerful one to burn them there to turn into ashes...
I really wanna leave the hometown... I wanna get and see and talk to Borgy but I don't know how...
Still, I'm jealous of some things that I don't know...
I still feel fat,ugly and wrinkled....I wanna travel and leave this hometown...I'm just hurting for 16 years.
They planned everything without my knowledge... They planned everything without me asking if I'm ohkay.
Strange, I FEEL JEALOUS ON THINGS THAT I DON'T KNOW...
I wanna travel and leave this hometown... They just damage my entire future....
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5:06 am
I still have windblow... I feel bitter... I feel so ugly and old without a future...
I hate this trap here in Cavite, they kidnapped me since 2007!
I feel bitter and I'm worrying so much... I feel jealous which I don't know why...
10:28 am
I still feel jealous which I don't know why... I feeel so jealous...
1:14 pm
Done,eating lunchie and if I'm here in the house I take care of them and even if I'm working, I'm taking care of them most specially my nana... We can't hire an assistant that I used to have... I had my own yaya before... So,I'm having a hard time these days and I feel so ugly!
We have financial tight budgeting now and I badly need a money and job... Hate being trapped by someone I don't know or not even on my mind...
16 years too long for me being kidnapped by them and I can't grow...
I still wanna see Borgy for something,I wanna have him and talk to him... This is something a reality thing.
I feel bad around 3 am I accidentally scratched my left arm and I have long nails then some skin peeled of then I trimmed my nails. I put an ointment on that peeled skin.
Hmm... So, it is a chill time but not my ideal LIFE. Still, wanna see, talk and see Borgy. I have to work and do something for myself...
I have personal plans... For now will walk in call center and I have so many personal plans. Still, I wanna perfect my nose and work and buy Starbucks everyday.
So, probably will try to sing later again on wesing it is just a hobby now and my voice lowered coz of the latest songs that I'm trying to learn. Raps songs are usually lowered tone so when I tried singing my original piece I had have a hard time. Plus, I got sick it was somehow a heavy bacteria that Streptococcus that I got in Iqor plus from the mouth of Miles... Plus, I'm awake at night... So, singing just to chill but I love stretching my voice and mastering a song. It is my art within me...
But I don't have an expensive high quality headset now, so that is the sad part of my life these days... I need a new mobile...
Hmm....These days in reality people need 2 to 3 phones if you are so into app addiction or having a hobby of making friends virtually.
1:51 pm
I went out to buy coffee and a black nail polish... It is the start of my punk persona, even in a lil while...
Then, I saw Lhen or Ate Lhen the woman who helped us here to cut a grass but I figured out she is just 30 years old, so I'm a decade older and 2 years... I asked her again if she is really decided to gain weight and she said yes! I asked her if she's ohkay? She looks sad but answering me that she is ohkay but her facial expression is somehow a scary blank question mark???
I saw her legs were skinny and beautiful before but these days she got some small scars and her legs became plump and she gained a belly fat... I asked her where is your bf? Does your bf want you to be fat? She said yeah! I said you look good before then I stopped asking, I just smiled. She said that her husband is the one selling the food meal at the FOREMOST STORE. Her story became a confusion to me...
From last week she told me that her new bf told her that he will only love her if she will become a fat woman... Weird! I'm curious on that kind of bf...
2:07 pm
I need to get my Philhealth by tomorrow in Savemore. Hmm..
But I already gave my previous ID in Iqor but the address was on the house of my biological father in Taytay, Rizal... I will just update them coz I was with my biological father few years back and I worked in the hospital as admitting clerk.My permanent address is really here in my fucking hometown in Dasma. CAVITE.
Still, I wanted to leave and transfer in ilocos... For real!!!
2:51 pm
It is just sad if Lalah ( our aspin) will die in a lil while but hope and pray not... I observed her ways that she sleeps on parts of the garden that looks like she is preparing to sleep forever.
She always look straight into my eyes and a very faithful dog to me... But I don't have money to give her meds or treat her... It is just sad... It will be sad for me... It is really sad for me that I don't have extra money to save her...
The last time I thought my son-dog will die at his early age, I prayed and cried but I planned to bring him on the private pet hospital here... How will I pay for it? Call me crazy, I don't know... But will surely bring him there if ever but I'm praying to the God's of good and evil to save my son-dog always.
9:48 pm
I have windblow and I feel bitter... Thinking of money and job... I need to buy my ferrous sulfate and some stuff that are still considered basics needs...
Not my ideal LIFE with Uncle Jun and most specially with Uncle DD couldn't give enough assistance..
It is so sad... It is so sad... It is so sad...
11:20 pm
Another sad thing...
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Evaluation Time
Words: 830
If someone came across Mason the morning of this evaluation and didn’t know him very well, they’d definitely be worried about him.
Mason had had evaluations before, of course, but those had been different. Those hadn’t been results of being selected for two special teams to potentially be propelled towards a debut possibility. He was stimming a lot, waving his hand back and forth to calm down before doing the fingers-to-face thing that he had taught Hwan not long ago. He breathed into it, actually managing to calm down right before he was brought into the room.
Mason listened to their response to Team A and felt a lot of relief, not only for himself doing well, but the comment about the seven of them working well together brought him joy. That was the group he was in with his best friend, after all, so he hoped their dynamic would help with their performance. The words “perfect synergy” would definitely be floating around Mason’s head for a while, but he didn’t dwell on it too much; he knew not every single comment was going to be positive (that only happened in his best dreams). He nodded about the mood having potential to be stronger, making a mental note that maybe his approach to the vibe was too casual, though he did try to make a balance. Still, these comments were great. “Oh, I thought the performance was some of my best work,” he admitted with a proud smile. “I loved the song and the dance and my team, so it motivated me to work hard to make it perfect. I’m really happy I seemed to do well.”
Then, Team B, the one Mason was even more concerned about. He was worried that his “incident” with Robby would affect the team dynamic and final performance and everyone’s scores, but it seemed like it didn’t, so Mason was even more relieved. He had to keep himself from smirking about the comment about giving the rappers more lines; a part of him felt vindicated, to be honest. Then, the question was asked, and Mason knew what they were talking about. He let out a little sigh before saying “You most likely heard that there was… a little moment of dissension between me and another member,” he admitted (he was happy he used a word like “dissension” properly). “It was minor, but I want to take full responsibility for it. I asked about switching official positions because I wanted to show off my best assets to you in both groups. Afterwards, I never said another word about it and just focused on making sure that I did the best that I could. But I hope that it didn’t show in our performance.”
He felt a strange weight on his chest after explaining the situation, mostly fear that his behavior might affect his future. But he knew he would have felt worse if he had just thrown Robby under the bus or lied and said that nothing happened; Mason’s guilty conscience would have been too much for that.
Then, onto individual comments. He took a deep breath and waited.
He tried to keep his smile polite, but it grew bigger as the comments continued. They saw what Mason had desperately hoped to convey; that he was able to handle whatever concept they threw at him. Still, the comment about expressions was brought up again, and he nodded. Now he knew something he really had to work on going forward if it was said twice. But ultimately, the comments were wonderful, and Mason was trying to memorize them so he could play them back later.
“Honestly, being a part of both teams was exhausting in the best kind of way,” he explained, sincerity written all over his face. “I’d rather be too busy doing what I love than have all the free time in the world. I was always in a practice room or listening to the songs or working on improving my singing voice and rapping enunciation, and I loved every second of it. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity, and I’ll keep working to improve my facial expressions and everything else.”
Okay, maybe the last part wasn’t the most eloquent, but he was so happy it was hard for him to keep his composure. But, he made it. He got through the meeting, giving a deep bow to everyone in thanks before leaving.
Now, he was alone with his thoughts, a normally somewhat scary idea but not this time. Right now, all of his thoughts were hopeful, joyous, everything good in the world was happening in Mason’s head right now. Sure, he would have to be on his “best behaviour” from this point forward, but honestly, he always had been. All he needed to do was avoid another incident like what happened with Robby and Mason would be on his way to achieving his dreams.
He just had to follow through.
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The anticipated evaluations marked a crucial moment to your character’s idol progression. Team A, B, and C, were slotted for the very first day of evaluations between over 30+ qualified trainees. With training reverting back to normal, your character, Mason Lee, will receive an e-mail from Hydra Staff with the date and time for their formal interview. Dress code is business casual, and the interview place will take place in the Office Section of the building, led by Talent Consultant Jang Hei-ran and her team. They’ll be the ones relaying individual scores, remarks from personnel (CEOs, instructors, etc.), and as previously stated, providing next-step strategies. It’s a hallmark moment that, admittedly, the company believes your character is ready for. The meeting will presumably last for half a hour or more, pending dialogue.
𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐀 will hear great remarks about the group’s teamwork, best overall within the six qualifying teams. “We were delighted to see a combined effort, the seven of you fit extremely well together. You were tasked with an upbeat hip-hop-inspired track, and it was a uh, new genre our in-house producers were testing out. And there was a perfect synergy.” The compliment draws on and seems to be gearing towards that inevitable ‘but.’ “However, the overall mood should’ve been stronger in a lot of areas.” Heiran nods in agreement to her assistant’s words, having a few thoughts of her own, and cuts in. “The team got us excited for the performance, and it showed you all were excited. How do you remember the performance?” The woman’s voice was pointed, yet her curled grin made her look pleasant at face value. A dichotomy between genuine curiosity to know the trainee’s point of view, and accusatory, goading a response that could be neither right or wrong. “Hmm, let’s move forward to your independent results.”
𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐁 are met with hesitant stares, lengthy greetings to feel the emotions of each male presenting trainee. Heiran answers each sentiment with leveled replies. “This team proved to be outstanding in terms of skill. From a listeners’ perspective, we wish the rappers were given more parts, the foundation really came from them. Ultimately the vocals cast a large shadow on the other teams; the ranges were consistent and quite appealing to the ear.” Her eyes light in excitement, “Personally my favorite team to watch.” The positive comments may warrant a smile, laugh, or brief response, then the leading assistant is quick to interrupt. “It was a strong overall performance, there were massive comments about how well the concept matches individual strengths. In light of such recognition, while practicing, the instructors gave us notes about all team practices. How do you feel working in a team?” They proceed with individual scores after being given answers.
“The higher-ups want to personally commend you for dedicating your time to both groups, it goes without saying we placed this particular task in the right hands. Before we move to scores, how did you feel about the dual practices?” They await for his answer before continuing, Heiran gives the trainee a gentle smile, “Team A’s song selection fit your charms naturally, and you stood out even before your dance break. A lot of the producers commented you managed the lack of line parts well with your ‘swag’ as he noted,” Laughter briefly fills the room and the assistant continues with subtle nods before continuing, “The challenge came in your second team, but then the song started and you fit the other concept that left a big impression on your label. It was especially pleasing to see the contrast, and you were able to sync up with the respective flows. From our assessment, keep honing your expressions, they must always be present watching the stage. Your results certifies you for the upcoming show you’ve signed up for and personably vouched for your attendance.”
This task is for Mason Lee! Formal Interviews traditionally go over more overview notes (skillset critique), and the extended trainee contract to highlight the need for discretion. Your character is now a Debut Candidate under 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 and will have access on to the backdoor entrance of the company building, allowed mostly for artists and staff. In order to complete the Debut Preparation Task, players will have to:
SOLO: Write a complete thread (300+ words) about your character’s second interview. Take into account the fact the results, debut news, feelings about meeting fellow contestants, and having to be on their best behavior. The interview will be between your character and two Hydra personnel in a private training studio located on the lower floors of Hydra’s main building. Earn 25 POINTS to increase any skill on their point page or choose to collect.
Be sure to tag threads with #hd:tasks & #hd:eval! The deadline for threads/point submissions is February 21, 2023. Please, do not post mod submission until the thread is completed. The thread should be placed above the divider and under a ‘read more’ if not already placed.
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