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galacticgraffiti · 7 months

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✿⋅ Oh, to be Alone with You ⋅✿

NSFW ⋆ 18+ ⋆ Minors DNI

Rating: Explicit Wordcount: 2.6k Descriptors: I try my best to write inclusively. Reader uses she/her pronouns and is mentioned in her physicality but not described in detail. If anything escaped me, please let me know! Sorry I couldn't make this more gender neutral, but since this fic is a gift to @naariel I thought I'd use her pronouns. Warnings: dirty daydreams, yearning, lusting after someone, male masturbation, dirty talk, fantasy of PiV sex within the daydream, bath sex, this is written from Halsin's POV

⋆⋅ Inspired by this insane artwork by @naariel ⋅⋆

Author's note: I've been pondering, rotating and marinating this artwork in my mind for WEEKS. It haunts me in the best possible way and I am so happy Naariel gave me permission to reference her art! If you are not already following her, you definitely should - her skill and talent are infinite.

Masterlist ⋆ If you prefer AO3

───── ⋆⋅✿⋅⋆ ─────

Oh, to be Alone with You

Halsin sighs when he finally sits down, long limbs sprawling on the too-small chair that can barely contain him.

Chairs. What superfluous oddities, where a big tree stump might have sufficed. If one has to make them at all, why not at least make them comfortable? Why not sit in the meadows, why not find a place to lay where the sun has warmed a rock that has been washed and polished by the rain? But no, the rules of the city demand he be contained within four walls instead of roaming free, they demand he bathe in a wooden tub instead of out in the wilds, they demand he wear clothes and be polite to people even as they trample the Oak Father’s creations beneath their boots without even stopping to look and enjoy nature’s gifts.

Halsin shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose to stave off the oncoming headache. It has been a long day and he is so tired. A long week. A long few weeks, if he is being honest with himself. In all these centuries, times have been- well- rough, to say the least. But whatever haunts the Sword Coast now… it’s different. Bigger than the invasions of Goblins across the land, bigger than the Shadow druids, bigger even than the Shadow Curse that has occupied Halsin’s every waking hour for nigh on one hundred years.

At least, Thaniel and Oliver have been reunited, some life returning to the lands as it always should have been. A victory, chased for so long, tasting sweet only for a moment before the stale urgency of the matter at hand had seeped back into Halsin’s mind: Mindflayers infecting innocents, magic-infused tadpoles, an Elder Brain… There are too many battles to be fought, and not one of them to be won.

Halsin presses his lips together and tries to banish the dark thoughts from his mind. There are some good things that have come out of this: They have not lost a fight yet, and his newfound companions are… stimulating, to say the least. Fighting alongside them has been a joy and a privilege - watching their blades sear, their magic erupt, their arrows pierce their targets as the bear Halsin rips through flesh and bone. The fighting is necessary, and his companions are more skilled than he could have ever wished for. This day may have been hard, but it was successful nonetheless, and now he is here, freshly bathed and ready to find some rest for the night. If only it could be under the stars, far outside the city walls, he would almost call himself happy. Instead, he must bed down alone, encased by too many walls and a too-small bed frame.

Halsin misses the smell of grass that has not been trampled by hundreds of boot-clad feet, he misses the feeling of bark against his fur, he misses his wildshape and trodding through calm forests instead of bloodied battlefields. He misses air that is crisp and clean and doesn't smell of artificially molten metals. He misses the Grove, he misses Thaniel and he misses the woods. The city has been forsaken by Silvanus, and even if this place is a small oasis of nature, it is not the same as being out among the Oak Father’s creations.

He cracks his neck, his hair tickling his collarbones. Halsin curses quietly to himself, pushing a curl behind his ear. He needs to cut his hair - it’s getting too long. And he needs to braid it again, his plaits are all out of sorts. It might be a hassle to do it without a mirror- but maybe he could ask-

No.

Shaking his head as if to will the thought away, he slumps into the discomfort of the chair a little more.

No, he shouldn't ask her anything. Nothing that would involve her hands on him, at least. Certainly not her fingers buried in his hair, tugging softly, her voice gently commanding that he tilt his head a different way. He can’t ask for that. It would only lead to him asking for more:

More of her hands on him, more of her skin against his, more than innocent touches and whispered goodnights across the campfire. He would ask for everything: To bury himself inside her until the world fades away, to devour her until she is slick with sweat from the pleasure he brings her. To be the keeper of her heart, just as he yearns for her to be the keeper of his.

Halsin can feel the familiar tightness in his back as the golden shimmer of his wildshape travels up to his shoulder blades. One thought of her, and already the bear stirs.

He remembers everything that happened today, even as he tries so hard to think of something else:

He remembers the way she smells, of sweet berries, blood and leather. He remembers her looking up at him, as her fingers clutch her weapon tightly. He remembers the fire in her eyes after the slaughter, the glow in her cheeks when she turned around to look at him and found only the bear. He remembers how she smiled at him, even after all that violence, a smile like the sinking sun, bloodied and red, but more beautiful than he could ever have dreamed up.

And as the day progressed: Her arm bumping into his, her head tilting up when she asked him a question and wanted to read his expression. How her hands slipped around him to reach for some food at the campfire earlier when they rested. Her sweet breath on his face and a mumbled excuse when she walked into him, still drowsy with sleep. And all Halsin wanted to do was pull her into his lap and bury his nose in the crook of her neck and forget about the world, forget about everyone watching, and have her, right then, in that moment. Have her all to himself, make her his very own. To feel her around him, to show her the depth of his affection, the desperation of his desire, the magnitude of his commitment.

All he wanted in that moment - all he still wants - is to touch her, to feel her in ways that he cannot ask for because he is scared she will not want the same thing he does. Halsin wants to lick the sweat off her skin, he wants to be buried between her thighs whenever they can steal away, even for a few minutes, he wants her taste on his tongue when he fights, and to wrap himself around her when they sleep.

The force of his own thoughts makes Halsin shudder, glowing desire stirring deep in his belly.

Her tongue in his mouth, his hands on her skin: How soft she would be against him. How wonderful to hear her voice break when she cries out for him, how she would taste if he could lick her off his fingers, the honey of her thighs, the salt of her sweat. He would give anything to know the expression on her face when she is lost to mindless bliss- he would give everything to know that he is the cause of it.

A low moan escapes his throat then, and Halsin presses his lips together when his mind returns from memory and sweet imagination to this house in the midst of a bustling city. This is not nature, where he can do what pleases him when it pleases him. No, the city - ‘civilisation’ as they call it - comes with rules, expectations, limitations.

He is in someone else’s home, exhausted from the day, the blood barely washed off his skin. And yet, all he can think about is… her. All he can feel is the constriction of his clothing, the confinement of leather where he longs to be touched. He wants to shed like the bear sheds his fur after the winter, he wants to feel free again.

Halsin hums, breathing deeply, willing away the golden sparks of his wildshape that dance along his fingertips. He listens intently, fingers dancing across his thighs, drumming an impatient rhythm.

Nothing in the house stirs. Maybe they are all gone still, running their errands, finding bath houses, visiting old friends and merchants they used to know before they return here for a long night’s rest. Maybe Halsin can have a small pocket of time to himself. Time to dream himself away, to give in to the desire he has harboured for so long.

Maybe… he could use this opportunity to release some of that tension that has settled deep in his belly. Refocus his attention. Maybe it’ll be for the best- not to think of her constantly anymore, not of her smell, or the colour of her eyes, of the way her fingers linger on his for a moment too long whenever they touch, or how much he wished they could have bathed together when he sank into the tub earlier that night.

The city has many downsides, but baths are one of the few things to enjoy. Hot springs are wonderful, but few and far between. Nature provides: The bear does not mind the coldness of a stream in the woods, or the iciness of a mountain lake. But there is nothing like a steaming bath to help prevent the sore ache that settles in his bones after a fight.

If only it was acceptable to ask her if she would join him. If only it had been her hands washing dirt and grime and blood from his skin, brushing his hair, kneading tired muscles, her hands much smaller than his, but strong and determined. Loving.

Halsin lets his head fall back, spine cracking as he settles in the small, uncomfortable chair, spreading his legs to cup his hardening cock. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine it…

She glistens in the dim light, thin streams of water trickling down her skin when she emerges from the bath, her lashes stuck together as she beams at him.

“Mhh, we should have done this ages ago!”

“I could not agree more, my heart.” Halsin loves seeing her like this. She looks happy, like she has not a care in the world.

She crawls up into his lap, settling on him, her thighs bracketing his. Her hands run across his chest, lathering him in soap that smells of lavender and thyme. Halsin’s heart is beating in his throat when she leans in to kiss his collarbone, her lips soft, her hair smelling of smoke and flowers as it always does.

Desire surges inside him, crackling like lightning in his veins, and he sends the bear away, far away. This is a moment he wants for himself: Skin against skin, tongues exploring, hands intertwined. This is no place for fangs and claws, not tonight. Halsin unlaces his trousers with steady fingers, though even those few seconds seem unbearable to him. When his hand finally wraps around his cock, he breathes a sigh of relief, only to feel dissatisfied moments after. He wants her hands, her eyes on him, her voice dripping with lust. For now, his imagination will have to do.

He dreams himself back to the bath, thinking of all he could have had, if he had only had the courage to ask.

Her skin is burning hot against his, her fingers leave a flaming trail wherever she touches him.

“Is this alright, my love?” Her voice is full of concern and affection, as it always is when she asks about his comfort and well-being.

“More than alright.” Halsin’s breaths grow shaky when she moves her hips, shallowly grinding down against him. “Gods, I want to-”

“Mhhm?” There is a curious twinkle in her eye. “What is it you want? Tell me. I’m sure I could make your dreams come true.”

Halsin shifts when the wooden backing of the chair digs into his back as he bucks his hips, fucking into his hand that is wrapped around his cock - a poor substitution for what - for who - he really wants.

A growl rings out in the empty room when he closes his eyes and imagines her again.

Her thighs look so lovely, spread wide so he can fit between them. She smells of the bath salts and of herself, and her voice talks to him through the thick fog of his desire.

“I know what you want, don’t I, bear? I’ll take such good care of you if you let me. I’ll make sure you don’t even have to ask for it. I’ll let you taste me, whenever you want- wherever you want. I’ll help you focus- you can focus on me, can’t you? There you go…”

Halsin is panting, his hand moving faster.

She feels good, so good when she sinks down on him, wet with arousal and so willing to take him.

“You, little flower, are the jewel of nature’s creation,” he mumbles. “You are all I could ever want and more. I want to taste you on my tongue, always- for there to never be a day where I won’t know the way you drip for me- for you to never go a day without being satisfied, without feeling loved and cared for. Your happiness is all I want- your ecstasy all I desire. Let me take care of you.”

She moans, her head falling back as she starts to roll her hips, taking him deeper and deeper with each stroke.

“I’ll take care of you as you do of me,” she whispers. “I’ll make sure to provide for you all you could ever need or want. You give and give, let me give you everything I am in return. Be selfish, bear. Take what you want, swallow me whole, devour me without worrying whether it’s too much. I want you to. Mark me- make me yours. Tell the whole world I belong to you, whichever way you desire.”

Her movements are desperate now, her words only sighs and moans, breathless as she buries her head against his shoulder. Halsin inhales the scent of her hair, sinks into her words as the fog of lust that has settled on his brain grows thicker and heavier, until there is not a thought left on his mind but her.

“Halsin-” Gods, his name sounds so sweet off her tongue. “Halsin, I want you to fill me. Please- please, I want to feel full with you, today and every day you’ll fucking let me. I want to fight knowing you are still dripping down my thighs, I want to kiss you under the stars and know I’ll never be without you again.”

The curses that are falling from his lips are ungodly, but Halsin does not care. He is desperate now, mouth open as he calls her name and thinks of the words he wishes he could hear her say.

“Come for me, bear. Come inside me, lay claim to me as only you ever could- f-fuck- make me yours- please- Halsin, I’m yours, I’m yours and yours and yours, as long as you’ll have me- forever if you want to-”

With a cry of her name on his lips, Halsin gives in to pleasure and lets himself be overtaken by a wave of bliss. His thighs tremble as he spills over his hand, sticky warmth dripping from his fingers. He does not open his eyes. Not yet. He wants to stay in the fantasy just a moment longer.

“Halsin, I-”

His eyes open, blood rushing to his cheeks as he returns to the real world and finds her standing in the doorway.

I'm going fucking feral. Running into the woods hoping to find him there, who's with me -

@purgetrooperfox @ashotofspotchka @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @ulchabhangorm @queen--kenobi @samspenandsword @rescuethewretched @pinkiemme @baba-fett @witchklng @ladykatakuri @certified-anakinfucker @fanfiction-i-llike @voidinfernal @foxferret02 @rosieofcorona @savagemickey03 @perseny @margoisthemoon2 @shiiunn @saucyhedgehog @tonysoffice @pupshr00m @supercalifragilisticprincess @palpipeen @silly-gooseastarion @mila-bee @shit-i-say-throughout-the-day @idkwhatsgoingonwithme @aeryntheofficial @jekasha @gub @nogitsune-the @solarrexplosion @hexqueensupreme @unofficialavenger90 @frankiesghost @curtaincaramba

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#bg3 #halsin #halsin x reader #in some capacity i suppose #baldur's gate #baldurs gate 3 #halsin bg3 #nsft #halsin x f!reader #gala writes

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w2sology · 2 months

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Hi can u do harry with shy and pregnant reader who ìs like a little sister to rest of the sidemen

nerf or nothing, harry lewis.

summary: the boys come over to spend a bit of time with you and harry, and they come bearing gifts!

warnings: pregancy (idk if that's even a warning?)

notes: as a shy person myself, some of this writing is heavily self inserted 🥲

"what if they don't end up liking football though?"

"then we can try darts. or hey, even rugby."

"harry."

it was past noon and you and harry were discussing things that parents to be often discussed, only harry was focused on the later years of your child's life.

the two of you sat in bed, your back leaning against his chest as you sat in between his legs, loads of catalogues scattered around you both.

"oh, about the pram that you were talking about before," harry mentioned.

"yeah?"

"ethan said faith had loads of websites, she could send them to you if you wanted?"

"oh, god, yes." you sighed contentedly, no longer feeling the stress of having to look for a perfect pram. "or better yet, tell her that she can come over, i haven't seen her or olive in a minute."

harry told you that he'd let ethan know, kissing your forehead before leaving to the kitchen to fix you both a snack.

whilst he was in the middle of pouring you a glass of cranberry juice ─── "it's good for the body harry," you told him, to which he replied with "no, rank is what it is," ─── the doorbell rang.

confused as to who you were both expecting or if it was yet another baby purchase coming in, harry sat the glass on the counter and made his way to the door.

before he could even open it, he knew who it was judging by the loud voices and the bickering of what sounded like jj and simon.

"just ring it once, mate, they can definitely hear." simon groaned, trying to obstruct jj, who clearly didn't listen and kept pressing the doorbell, which earned your attention from upstairs.

harry stood a little away from the door, contemplating what would happen if he just turned around and pretended not to hear the commotion happening outside.

"we can see you, harry," ethan called from through the letterbox. so much for that plan.

harry sighed before opening the door, a smile plastered on his face as his friends all cheered, seeing them bound with gifts and food and other things.

the soft sound of your footsteps made them all turn their head to where you were on the stairs, your baby bump proudly peeking through harry's oversized shirt that you had on.

"oh," you shyly smiled. "hi guys." you didn't think they'd all be here, but there they were.

one by one they came up to you, hugging you and saying their hi's or hello's, asking how you were. and you'd reply with the same, you were doing good, more tired than usual, all that stuff.

whilst harry and simon carried the gifts and food bags to the living room, toby linked your arm with his as he walked you there, making sure you were sat comfortably before harry and simon joined.

harry, being attracted to you like a magnet, squished in next to you, his body on the edge of the sofa as you leant on him.

there was never a moment of silence when the boys came over, and like the listener you were, you loved it.

toby began to explain what each of the gifts were for, considering you didn't know the gender of the baby yet, most of then were just toys. but then again, with them being the slightly immature bunch if men they were, the toys were things like legos and nerf guns or huge dollhouses for toddlers.

"what the hell is a baby going to do with a nerf gun?" harry asked.

"i thought you of all people would like this gift," jj gasped, hand on his chest as he feigned hurt at harry's words.

"no, i'm just saying boys..." and there started the debate over suitable toys for children.

you turned to vik with a look that said 'help me' yet all he did was shrug.

"harry, a couple of months ago you would've been on board with this idea. y/n, what did you do to him?" ethan pointed a finger at you.

"what— me? he's right, a nerf gun's for toddlers, not babies!" you defended yourself.

harry's chest moved up and down as he laughed behind you, even more so at the way you groaned and his your face in your hands.

"i'm not ready for harry's mature era," simon commented.

"mature and harry don't belong in the same sentence," vik added.

"oh my days," harry mumbled as they launched into a new topic, harry's maturity level.

as they all introduced their own point, you just smiled and laughed along as you leant on your boyfriend, feeling even more excited for your baby to be welcomed into the family.

#wroetoshaw #wroetoshaw x reader #sidemen x reader #wroetoshaw imagines #harry lewis x reader #sidemen #wroetoshaw imagine #harry lewis

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manicpixiefelix · 5 months

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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 1.

Summary: It had been a long time since your world has revolved around anyone but Felix Catton. He was like that; undeniably, unassumingly magnetic. You'd watched countless fawning, fairweather friends drawn into his orbit, only to be cast out when he eventually got bored of them, but not you, never you. Maybe you were a toy in the beginning, the thing they'd all called you when they were feeling especially petty, but it became clear that Felix has wanted to keep you around. You weren't a toy, you weren't family, you were a sharp and beautiful tool, too good, too useful to be put down. Your loyalty was rewarded with a life in his shape. Felix was like the sun, and you lived your life enjoying his warmth, and wanting to keep him shining.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader with Felix, Venetia, and implied Farleigh in this chapter. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: Smut (M & F Receiving (not reader)), discussions of gender set in 2003 (no slurs tho). Degrading language (reader is referred to as as dog)

A/N: 3698 words. HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME!! Im so excited for this, this first chapter is essentially setting up the reader's life and dynamic with Felix and the Cattons. There's some Venetia/Reader and implied Farleigh/Reader but its the casual kind of sexuality they all share in the movie, yanno? Please let me know what you think, i LOve feedback!

Taglist: @strangemaximoff @renaissance-mama @tsach @malscorner @xhoneymoonx134 @yelchinweasleylothbrok @tarriea @florencediet @butitsbetterifyoudoittoem @belladonnadarksshade @fandom-multiamory @snazzynacho @jubileexoxo @soocore @be-lla-vie @nightingale2124 @willow-sages @null4ndv0id @gracieluvthemoon @day2dream @marvellover98 @navixfr @bitxhinthecomments @daintylovers @alesunsets @noturningbacknow @d0llysposts @alilcloudy

----

You can't quite remember a time where your world didn't revolve around Felix Catton. He's rather like that; magnetic. His very aura is intoxicating, suffocating, until they're breathless and all but gasping his praises. You've seen it happen countless times since you'd first met him all those years ago.

Felix is affectionate and tactile, always yearning for contact with those around him like he has no idea how it looks from the outside. His hand around your shoulders, your waist, a kiss on your cheek, offering you a bump of coke from the back of his hand - you'd been too young when it has started for anything to seem too far when you're older. It felt only natural that you'd learned in due course the sensation of his mouth and hands on every inch of your body, just as you could name every part of him from the touch of your lips alone. Or Farleigh. Or Venetia. It was one of the many things that seemed far too normal growing up in such an insular, secluded environment. But everyone knew you were Felix's, even if he decided to share you on occasion.

Summers by the lake and Winters by the fire, Saltburn was where you found yourself when you found Felix to be your home. Months long sleepovers, and of all one hundred and seventy nine rooms, you share a bed with Felix most nights. Innocent children huddled for comfort, sharing dreams and laughter and hope for the future; adolescents turn to teenagers, and though the bed sharing continues, it does not remain so innocent.

And you are the only one to taste his hesitation the first time he ever kisses you, the only one to hear him breathless with surprised delight the first time you take his cock in your mouth since he's bored and wonders what everyone's going on about.

"What if I'm shit at it?"

"Do you want practice?"

The script is more of a formality when you're a few years into high school and both expecting to start screwing around.

Nervous, inexperienced touches easily became familiar, intimate gestures.

Its not something you talk about at school or in public, the people in your lives know you're close, but couldn't reasonably gauge the full extent beyond some schoolyard rumours... Which are technically true. But you both downplay it to most of the world. Perhaps it's about keeping up the appearance of availability; less chances to hook up with other people if they all assume you're taken.

A lot of your school life is about keeping up appearances, but that comes with the territory of being a well-to-do child of a wealthy family. At least you don't have to weather it alone.

With the amount of money your families are throwing at the schools you attend, of course you've forgotten more love showings of Shakespeare's comedies and dramas and tragedies than most students around the nation have even heard of, good only for how Felix's friend group - and you always amongst them - make fun of some of the truly awful lines.

Still, there are moments when the pretense drops. You catch each other holding reverence for the way the world speaks about love -

"You do impeach your modesty too much -" Felix is ahead of you in the maze, looking for a break from his family after Elspeth had insisted upon you all taking a trip to see A Midsummer Night's Dream in the city.

"What?" You laughed; it was getting dark, the solar fairy lights were beginning to glow amongst the imposing walls of leaves. Felix grins over his shoulder at you.

"Like in the play, remember? Near the start, Demetrius and one of the girls; you do impeach your modesty too much to leave the city and commit yourself into the hands of one that loves you not."

"Yeah but you love me, though," you laugh, and quicken your pace to catch his hand. You find yourself remembering the scene with a smile, but as the maze opens up ahead to the centre clearing, Felix slows. Pulling you close, he walks you to the wall of the maze, the strong branches and glossy leaves against your back.

"To trust the opportunity of the night, and the- the," his expression is playfully annoyed as he searches for the line.

"Something about it being deserted?" You supplied with little more than a murmur, thrill running down your spine as his body is warm, pressed against yours.

"Fuck, thanks, yeah," he breaks character for a moment with a huff of laughter, warm affection in his eyes, before that hungry, wanting look passes over him again, "to trust the opportunity of the night, and the ill counsel of a desert place with the rich worth of your virginity."

"The rich worth of my virginity?" You can't help but giggle, and Felix again breaks, if only to roll his eyes. As he pulls back, however, you wrap an arm around him, softly apologising, promising to play along. Again, he feeds you the line, and this time you lean into it, into the moment, into the intensity in his eyes. There's so much barely concealed want in his gaze, it overwhelms you, all you can think to do is kiss him.

"Your virtue is my privilege," you gasp amidst frantic kisses, wrapping your arms around him, trying desperately to remember the rest of the lines you know that you'd also been taken with in the theatre. Pulling back for just a second, you see him grinning when you take his face in your hands, "it is not night when I do see your face, therefore - something something - not night." The two of you erupt back into laughter before his mouth finds yours again, and the two of you are wrapped up in each other, blindly stumbling towards the solid statue you both know is there.

"Nor doth this wood," you find your voice again when Felix is leaning against the statue and you're making quick work of his undoing belt, "lack worlds of company, for you -" and with his belt undone, the two of you pause, taking stock of the moment. Both breathing heavily, you lean in and give him a languid kiss, your fingers looped into the waistband of his nice trousers, "for you," you murmur with a grin, lips inches from his, "in my respect, are all the world."

These are the lines that you knew without hesitation, the lines burned into your heart as you'd heard them uttered, and felt them resonate even back in the theatre. You grin, wondering if he'd wanted to hear them more than you'd longed to say them. As you kiss down his jaw, lips on his throat with intent to leave a bruising hickey, you free his cock, working your hand up and down his length.

"The how can it be said that I am alone," you kiss the hickey as it begins to bloom dark against his perfect throat, and sink to your knees before him, heart practically bursting to see the way he looks at you in this moment, all love and lust and appreciation for what you're about to do, "when all the world is here to look upon me?"

You watch others come and go from his life, watch him fuck around with other pretty elites, and had your fair share of flings too. The two of you gossip and brag to one another about your conquests, tease each other about terrible lays, or who the other has their eyes on next. There's never jealousy; as long as the other is happy, neither of you is concerned. After all, in the end, you always come back to one another.

Naturally Felix who you come out to first, the two of you sharing a smoke while playing cards by the window of his high school dorm room. Its after midnight, you should definitely be back in your own room, but the two of you have never really adhered to those rules, and the heads of your respective dorms stopped caring years ago. At the time you don't exactly have the right words to explain, but you ask him -

"Hey, you know you're a guy, right?"

He doesn't frown, but his nose gives this little scrunch as he's considering your words and his cards.

"Haven't put much thought into it, but yeah," he rearranges his cards for a moment before looking up at you with those gorgeous, brown eyes full of curiosity, "why?"

"I dunno," you shrugged briefly, as if you hadn't been struggling with for what's felt like months, "remember all those bars in France last summer?"

"Flashes of it," Felix smirks momentarily, "I'm still not sure if I believe Farleigh that he won our bet, but I suppose I'll have to trust him."

"With the amount of free drinks he was getting I'm surprised he even remembers properly," you can't help but laugh, though the moment is short-lived.

"What about it?" Felix finally prompts. For a long moment you're quiet, and the two of you finish up the round of cards.

"You know how we kept going to those underground gay bars because they didn't ask us for ID?"

"Again, vaguely."

"Some of them had these pictures on the walls of like, gays, and lesbians, and ladies with cocks, and men with tits, or big scars on their chests and bushes, and they all... They all looked really happy in those photos," as you spoke, unable to look at him, only watching his hands as he shuffled the deck. You know he's frowning, trying to follow along, but he's also not interrupting you, giving you space in what feels like an important moment, "I think I'm kind of like that."

A moment passes between you two.

"I know," Felix finally says, and you look up, surprised.

"You know?"

"We're all like that, aren't we? You, me, Farleigh, Venetia - mum keeps reminding us that she was a lesbian whenever it's even slightly relevant -" he begins to smile fondly but your surprise turns back to concern as you begin to shake your head.

"No, not like that, Fi," you sigh, and reach for the cigarette box as he begins to deal, "I don't think I fit the boy-girl thing." Once again the quiet lapses out as the lighter sparks to life. You inhale a lung full of smoke, looking out of the window to the star-filled sky, "I'm not a guy with a bush or a girl with a dick, I'm not..." You shrugged, looking at him, "I dunno what I am."

Once the cards are dealt, he finally looks at you, tips his head in that way he does when he's trying to figure something out.

"You're my best mate." He says it so simply, the faintest smile beginning to grace his lips, "you don't have to be anything if you don't want to be."

You don't realise how anxious you were about this moment until your breath comes out as a stuttering exhalation.

"Yeah?" You swallow hard, voice surprisingly weak and hopeful in the same moment, "you don't mind?"

"Kind of seems like a shit thing for me to have any strong feelings about."

"But you've known me as I am for so long -"

"Exactly; I love you, guy-girl or anything, doesn't change you," this is the moment, you realise, that you'd do absolutely anything for the boy in front of you.

"I love you too, Fi."

As he reaches across the small space for the cigarette, you lean in and kiss him before you hand it over; he's grinning as he kisses you.

It only takes a week for you to tell him about the name you'd settled on.

"I think I'm going to start going by Y/N," in the library, you, Felix, and Farleigh are getting very little work done when you bring it up.

"Changing your name?" Farleigh asks, eyebrows raised as he looks up from the same page of Heart of Darkness that he'd been reading for half an hour. You glance to Felix briefly, but he simply gives an encouraging nod to his cousin, and you, once more with your heartbeat racing, explain your relatively new identity change.

"So do we use he-she when we talk about you now?" Farleigh asks, voice genuinely confused rather than malicious. At this you give pause, you hadn't much thought about it; of course people gossiped about you, but you hadn't realised that if you were to be going forth with your new identity, you'd have to ask people to change the very language they used about you.

"I don't think so; I'm not he or she, and he-she is a bit much," you ponder, "I guess just them?"

"Hey did you hear about Y/N?" Felix stage-whispered to Farleigh, grinning. His cousin leaned in, keeping up with the bit and testing out your new name and pronouns seamlessly.

"No, what did they do?" He gasped. All you could do was chuckle, ducking your head to hide how wide you were smiling at how right it all sounded, how right it all felt to hear about yourself. With a firm nod, Farleigh sits back up, "okay, yeah, I can get with it. Y/N," he says decisively.

"Y/N does rather suit you," Felix agreed.

As you begin to come out to the rest of your friends and the school as a whole, you're surprised at how smoothly the transition occurs. You expected more resistance, more name calling, more bullying of any kind; of course there's the occasional bit of harrassment, and several people in the halls turn an unkind eye upon you, but it's been far easier than you'd expected.

Its only when you find Farleigh with a black eye that you learn that he and Felix have been getting into fights with people who've been talking shit behind your back. Of course you beg them to stop, insist they shouldn't be getting hurt on your behalf, least of all about this, but Felix smiles with a split lip.

"As if I'm going to let them get away with it."

Historically, Felix's girlfriends never seem to like you at first. Which they definitely shouldn't; it took him a few girls to remember that he shouldn't let them see him touching you so casually the way he does, more intimate with you without even thinking about it than he often was with them. It moves on, he gives them a warm smile and a teasing tone as he tells them not to be jealous-

"They're not -" a threat, you wonder as he gestures to you with a wide, open hand and smile to match, and proceeds to surprise you both, "a girl." The girl on his arm seems shocked for a minute, but everything about her eases. Your best friend, despite what people may think, is neither a liar nor an idiot. He knows what people think of him, what people assume about him and about you when they assume things one way or there other about him. The girls who he traditionally picked up liked to put him in little pigeon hole of heterosexuality, and though it wasn't true, the to correct them in instances such as that would probably harm the poor, pretty girls. Or at the very least, do nothing to quell their pretty rightful paranoia.

Because when the girl leaves his dorm before curfew that night, you slink up to his door and lean against it with the most pleased and endeared smile. As you always do.

"What?" Every time he's bashful, as if he has no idea what he's doing.

"Just love you is all, man," you tell him, grinning from ear to ear as you close the door behind you.

"Love you too, you know that," he tries to play it off, but is obviously hiding his ever-growing smile.

As you descend upon him, sitting cross legged on the bed - "I love you, I love you, I love you, Fi," peppering his face with kisses as he actually giggles and laughs and pulls you close - you wonder if you shouldn't be doing this since he has a new girlfriend. Except if he wanted you to stop, you knew he had no qualms asking you to.

He's always been the best about your identity, so you're not sure why it always hits you with a rush of euphoria when you hear him talk about you like that. Maybe it's the way confirms exactly what you're not to the world, while knowing that everything you are to him is a secret he holds precious and close to his heart.

When you get to Saltburn for the Winter, as you had for any major breaks from school as your parents were thrilled to be seeing as little of you as necessary, Duncan greets you at the door as he always does -

"Captain Y/N."

And Felix comes bounding down the red stairs, having overheard, and asking if Captain was alright, while you were overwhelmed with love at the gesture. Apparently Duncan's only reservation about the title was that it was usually reserved for military personnel, and he was something of a stickler for the rules. Still, when you thank him for referring to you as such, he grants you one of his rare smiles.

Everyone has accepted the change before you'd even arrived, and though his mother and father did occasionally slip up, they caught themselves before even yourself or Felix had a chance to correct them. Elspeth always made a show of apologising and correcting herself. After one such instance, all of you wine-drunk after dinner and squashed on several sofas together to watch some rom-com, Venetia whispers to you where she's in your lap that Felix had spent several phone calls over the past semester explaining the situation to the family, even making sure to remind everyone in the days before you'd arrives.

"He really does love you," she murmurs, "doesn't he?" The glow of the television haloed her recently bleached hair in light as her face hovered inches for yours. Out of the corner of your eye you see Felix wearing an amused smile and pointedly not looking at you. When Venetia leans in, giggling with her pupils blown wide, you kiss her back, and feel Felix put a hand on your thigh.

"Not during the movie," Elspeth says briskly. Farleigh snorts with amusement from her other side and Venetia breaks the kiss with a sharp little laugh. Still, she curls up against you now, with your arm around her, and Felix rubs circles against your thigh, hand not moving for the remainder of the film.

At Saltburn, your room was often more of a formality; the one attached to Felix's, divided only by a bathroom. Most nights were shared in another's bed, even if nothing sexual happened. Venetia especially liked these sleepover, liked how you'd be at her door if she merely implied she wanted your company. She'd invite you into her bathroom to simply talk while she bathed, neither of you bothered by the casual nudity. She'd put on a CD and sometimes a robe, and you'd brush and braid her hair; she'd talk and you'd listen, until she fell asleep in your arms. Venetia craved connection, and like with Felix, you were happy to oblige her.

"You're a good dog," she'd once murmured, your head between her thighs, "that's why he lets you fuck me." When you look up at her through your lashes, mouth still on her cunt, tounge going still on her clit, she's looking back, devilish smile on her face, "do you think about him when you fuck me?"

You lean back just a little, and carefully slide two fingers into her; Venetia's head falls back as she sighs gently.

"He doesn't have a cunt, Ven," you tell her bluntly, which of course makes her laugh until she's moaning with your fingers curling inside of her.

"Good dog," she stutters out.

"He wants you to be happy, and I can do that."

"My brother doesn't like sharing his toys," she whimpers faintly.

"I'm not a toy."

"Suppose I'll just - ah~" your thumb finds her clit, and you gently bite at her thigh, "have to enjoy you while he lets me, then."

In these quiet, intimate moments, sexual or not, Farleigh and Venetia both take to calling you 'good dog' as a term of endearment. Anyone else would probably be put off by it, but it begins to warm something in your chest; loyal and loving, the kind of creature you keep around. Felix, however, scowls when he learns about it.

"It's mean."

"I think it's sweet," you tell him with a smile, curling up against him on a sofa on one of the many balconies. Felix had been reading while you'd been napping against him when Venetia had appeared and cooed at the sight.

"They think it's sweet!" Venetia echoed with a pleased grin, sitting on the lounge chair across from you both.

"They're not a dog, they're my friend -" Felix had tried to argue.

"Man's best friend," Venetia had nodded.

"Oh piss off, Ven," Felix had huffed. Venetia had obligingly swanned back into the house while you stifled your laughter against his chest. When it's just the two of you, his voice turns soft, "you know I don't think of you like that."

"It's nothing, Fi, everyone knows you're my favourite is all."

"But you're not a dog."

You look up at him in all his glory, golden in the sunset and looking like a dream. You want to smooth the concern, the righteous anger from his brow, kiss the faint downturned edge of his perfect lips, do everything in your power to make sure he never worries again. No matter who or what you are, you are his. His best friend, his confidant, his shoulder to cry on, his partner in crime, his right hand, his, his, his.

All you can give him in this moment is your gentle voice full of absolute love;

"What do you want me to be, Fi?"

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #felix catton imagine #felix catton x reader #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #oliver quick imagine #oliver quick x reader #oliver quick x y/n #oliver quick x you #saltburn imagine #saltburn x reader #venetia catton x reader #venetia catton x you #venetia catton imagine #manicpixieart #head heart hand fic

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sammygender · 24 days

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trans headcanons of the winchesters are always extremely fun to play around with and i can see most of them. but one that always rings slightly false to me, despite a love for it due to self-identification and the fact it’s definitely interesting, is transmasculine dean. simply because if you’re going according to canon this would require him to have transitioned at some point prior to johns death, probably much prior, probably as a youngish kid. and i genuinely do not think that ever could’ve happened. he values johns approval too much and is too scared of demanding too much of him.

like even aside from whether john is Actually transphobic (i doubt he’s like Cartoonishly transphobic he probably would be annoyed by it slash not care much, interpret ‘not caring’ however you want) just the whole Thing of coming out where you’re like. “Hey dad im actually a human person who has an internal sense of self and such that doesn’t happen to be You 2.0 and am not the gender you thought i was and i feel emotions to such an extent that i actually like need to transition”…….

no fucking way dean would ever be able to do that to john while he’s still alive. please. teenage transmasculine dean would be like Well yeah sure i want to be a guy but that’s not an option for me whatsofuckingever. and crucially he’d be like that even if he knew entirely about trans people. now this is why transfemme dean works so well. because you just know it would take her at least thirty years to even consider it for a singular second.

on the other hand transmasc sam works so well because you can picture teenage transmasculine sam realising he’s a boy and promptly making it part of the whole entirely justified and very cool and fun teen angst rebellion FUCK YOU DAD thing. he could let spite carry him to the point of coming out. dean? he is burying that shit deep.

#Idk there’s still stuff to play with i find really interesting #at the end of the day it’s like. canonly dean buries everything about himself and just takes on the shape of his dad dads music dads car #dads jacket dads anger etc-#dean is expected to be a certain way. and he becomes very good at that certain way #he’s playing the role his father decided for him long after his fathers dead #i think a theoretically transmasc dean while still just as determined to prove himself and like. into hunting and probably vaguely the #machismo of it all too like canon dean. i think he would still very much as a teenager play into the whole eldest daughter mary 2.0 (more #than in canon he’s already mary 2.0 but he’s also meant to be john 2.0)#like transmasc dean would bury it and keep performing badass Tough Chick femininity #obviously after transitioning he’d be just like canon dean but he’d have to get to the point of transitioning first Which would take foreve #dean conforms to the role john expects he does what he thinks is needed of him #hence why it’s so hard to imagine a younger him transitioning. transition is a deviation from that tightly plotted role #Hence why in canon maybe transitioning would save her because it would inherently mean she’s gotten over some shit!#ANYWAY. gender in spn is so interesting #dean winchester #trans dean winchester #I still love transmasc headcanons though ofc #spn #oliver talks

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doberbutts · 1 year

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I think, honestly, the thing that gets me about The Collection of Posts from last night is:

“Trans men would rather be misgendered than admit any culpability or power”

1: culpable for what? What exactly did we do? I’m not talking individuals. Individuals of any demographic can be bad people. What are we, as a demographic, culpable for?

2: what power? Seriously, outside of some social power in individual interactions, which can change on a day-to-day or even scenario-to-scenario basis, what power to trans men have?

3: you know, it really sucked to be called a gender traitor by someone who I once held as a friend before they went full mask-off TERF. I was so incredibly hurt by it and I didn’t speak to that person for several years, nearly a decade, before they approached me to apologize and extend an olive branch. Even now, our relationship is strained at best because I cannot get over the amount of pain I felt at their words. We talk... maybe once a month or so, where we used to videocall every night and chat for hours about everything and nothing. And... this type of thing now coming from other trans guys is really not any better.

And

“Trans men have transition goals that match their Anime Boyfriends while refusing to break up with cishet men who won’t let them even cut their hair”

1: it’s now funny to joke about transphobic abuse in romantic relationships?

2: you know every single abused person in a relationship has heard “just leave” and “it’s your fault because you didn’t leave sooner”, yeah? Victim blaming is okay when it’s trans guys though? Is that the lesson from this?

3: again, TERFs and TEHMs say this. “You just want to look like an anime boy” and “you’re trans because you watch too much yaoi” and “you’re not really a gay man since you’re trans” are nothing new and having it come from other trans guys is, shockingly, not better.

Can you hear yourselves? Do you really think you’re doing anything but being outlandishly cruel, mean-spirited, and, yes, transphobic? Who are you helping by doing this?

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six-of-snakes · 10 days

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got new jewelry over the weekend I'm so fucking happy.

#i forgor jewelry = gender euphoria lmao #oliver talks about himself again #hh now I just need that cartilage piercing -

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modernelites-if · 1 year

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Modern Elites is a 18+ raunchy slice-of-life IF that follows you, a young royal, navigating the world of the obscenely rich and immensely famous while trying to keep your elite, royal family together in the midst of drama and tabloids.

Setting: modern times, fictional tiny country of Selusa, New York, Paris and more.

Genre: slice-of-life, drama, romance

Celebrity. Pop Culture Icon. Heir.

Royal.

As the heir to the Selusan throne, you're known by many names. Growing under the spotlight hasn't been easy, especially since it seems the vultures all want a piece of your elusive family. Country clubs, yachts, parties, private jets, elite schools, you've had it all.

But is there something missing?

Customize your heir from appearance to gender identity to personality. Dictate what kind of person they are: rebellious, dutiful. Do they care about the royal line or are parties more on their mind? Will you keep a squeaky clean rep or ruin the family name?

Customize Salusa and cater the country to your taste.

Dictate what kind of leader you want to be, and how others percieve you.

Experience the life of the hidden .01% and the drama of the ultra wealthy.

Engage in fiery, dramatic romances that could either uplift or ruin you and your family.

and more to come.

THE ADVISOR

Imogen/Ian Lancaster [f/m]- your family's advisor and publicist. I has cleaned up every mess, every leak, every scandal and at this point, there are no secrets between your family and them. Coming from a well-off family themselves, they know exactly how this world works...and they navigate it with a steel will and a cold, detached demeanor. I has you handled like an adult with a child, trying (and probably failing) to keep you in line. Anything you do will go through them, so it's better to think twice.

THE BETROTHED

Everett/Eva St. Clare [m/f] - the eldest of one of the most influential businessmen on your side of the world, black sheep, and a source of gossip in polite society, there have been talks of a betrothal between you two since the partnership started. Because of that, you two are forced into a fake romance for the cameras. E is an arrogant and brash casanova, sex-obsessed, and is proudly noncommital with string of rumors that follow them like their own entourage. Unfortunately for you, E's exploits can damage the carefully constructed facade you two have built. Of course, E doesn't give a damn.

THE REBEL

Vince/Vivian De Grasso [m/f] - (secretly) fresh out of jail and newly reformed (not) V's politician of a mother has asked in a favor from your family: to reform them and stifle their rebellious ways by adding them to your security detail. Your father having a soft spot for the kid, brings them in as one of your guards. Hopefully V keeps in line...or not.

THE COMMONER

Cordelia/Corden Bowen [f/m]- an employee at the country club you frequent, someone less polite would call them a 'nobody.' C has a bit of an attitude, but that's expected from someone who is used to getting berated by rich people all day. There's not much else to say about them...or maybe there is?

THE JOURNALIST

Romi Marshall [m/f]- a famed journalist with contempt for royalty and elitism. Their newsletters frequently slam you and your family's every move, and they don't like you one bit. You can confidently say they're your biggest hater.

THE ROYAL BEST FRIEND

Oliver/Olivia Ames-Astor [m/f]- a fellow prince/princess from another country and your best friend, who is still hung up on their ex. Forced to betroth someone else, O has so many problems you can hardly sort through them. Still, they're kind and as polite as you'd expect from a person who has had etiquette lessons drilled into them since childhood. They're also your best friend, so there's that.

#interactive fiction #interactive story #interactive novel #interactive game #cog #choice of games #dashing don #choices #cog wip #interact-if #interactive

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welldrawnfish · 7 months

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First official Art for Succubus Contract! Welcome to Bastion! The last city of Magic. Here we honor the mages who were so viciously slaughtered by the invading demon army by preserving any and all magic we can find. Succubus Contract will premier on Webtoons on December 1st. This Hereby cements the city, aesthetic and look so therefor i have to stop stressin' about it! ITS OFFICIAL

.. tho im not crazy about the line thickness of the bg lmao What is Succubus Contract? - Succubus contract is a gender bend story of a succubus named Oliver who does not believe in love, afterall its just synapses and chemical reactions telling people how to act right?. Oliver must perform and personally play a hand in these acts of love now in order to turn back, And not sexual or just romantic. Any love will do Oli! Love of Family, Love of career, and Love of community to name a few. For now you can follow #succubuscontract or #succubus contract for news. Also you can theorize or talk in the comments all you want about the story and what you think its about, i really enjoy reading them!

#my art #art #illustration #oc #transgender #transgirl #original art #comics #doodle #transisbeautiful #succubuscontract #succubus contract

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 2 months

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why are people so against oliver and ryan talking about buddie, don't we want this, don't we want buddie to be canon? i'm sorry are we rooting for buck to end up with tommy or something, like I don't understand why so many people are saying stop asking them about buddie?

If we want Buddie then shouldn't we be asking buddie questions? I mean I'm so sorry but I'm just very confused, shouldn't we be happy that buddie is getting this much press and love? Why are we against it?

Okay, this is going to be a long one.

There are a few reasons why people are concerned about publications teasing Buddie happening and using the ship name and asking Oliver and Ryan about the ship. I'll try to be as concise as possible.

I would like to note, I'm not going to answer a bunch of questions about this. Other people have answered similar questions plenty of times, if you take a bit to look around 911blr. I'm sure @catdadeddie has gone into this a few times.

However, I understand that we are getting a lot of new fans this season, and so I want to try and explain comprehensively for those who haven't been around. I hope this covers everything.

Whenever a ship is between two people of the same gender as opposed to two people of the opposite gender (I know, I know, but we can't get into the gender spectrum right now just play along with me), everyone involved has to be very, very careful when it comes to talking about that ship ahead of said ship going canon.

It is very easy to slip into something called "queerbaiting." I'm assuming that you and most people online and in fandom by now have heard of this term but just in case: queerbaiting is when a show acts like a queer ship might happen in marketing and promotion in order to draw in a queer audience.

Historically, this was done by having a main character played by a woman have a romantic thing with another woman (flirting, even kissing!) who was a guest star, hinting at the main character's bisexuality/queerness, only for that guest star to never come back and for the show to act like it had never happened. This was done during something called, IIRC, "sweeps week" which was basically an important week for TV viewer ratings in the 90s. It was a way to boost your numbers by drawing in queer viewers with the promise of actual queer rep that then wasn't realized. It's a marketing tactic.

Nowadays the nature of queerbaiting has changed a bit. It's an overused term that frankly people love to (mis)use whenever a ship of theirs doesn't go canon and a show dares to do things like having two people (like say Ryan and Oliver) who play the two halves of the ship do an interview together (whether you ship Buddie or not, they are close friends, and it makes sense that they'd do a few interviews together - that is not queerbaiting). A good example of real queerbaiting is Rizzoli & Isles which, among other things, took out billboards and magazine spreads showing the characters (two women) in suggestively sexual and romantic positions and with slogans hinting that the two had more than just friendship together, then never, ever delivered on it and in fact laughed at the idea of the characters being gay for each other.

(I WAS THERE, GANDALF!!!)

Because of this unfortunate treatment of queer audiences and the (historic) dearth of actual queer characters and queer ships going canon (it's getting better but still), networks, showrunners, and so on have to be very careful when, say, they want to make a queer ship canon.

Look at how ABC handled Chenford, a popular ship in their show The Rookie. Chenford was not a planned ship - the fans adored the chemistry between the two characters (Lucy Chen and Tim Bradford), the writers liked the idea and decided to lean into it, ABC gave the go-ahead, and the ship officially got together and went canon last season. ABC heavily promoted Chenford and the ship and made a lot of jokes about it in the last couple of seasons leading into the ship going canon, using the ship heavily in their marketing.

ABC cannot necessarily do that with Buddie, because even if Buddie is going canon, until that happens, they could get accused of queerbaiting. There's a much bigger minefield to navigate because of this historic misuse of queer audiences and queer characters.

So whenever journalists and publications use a popular non-canonical queer ship name for clicks and fandom interest, if that ship doesn't immediately go canon or if the network/showrunner/etc doesn't say "yeah they're totally gonna kiss! with tongue!" people accuse the show of queerbaiting. This is unfair to the show for two reasons: one, the network is not going to bother sending "shut the fuck up" letters to every single damn publication out there for using a ship name in their headline and talking about a ship - they'll be accused of homophobia and it draws even MORE attention to the issue re: the Barbra Streisand effect (look it up); and two, the people involved in the show are NOT going to spoil the anticipation and surprise by admitting ANY ship is going to go canon before it does.

This is simple marketing - the movie trailer doesn't (or shouldn't, anyway) show you the ending of the movie or everything that happens in it. TV shows want you to tune in every week and speculate and guess. They're not gonna spoil a ship ahead of time.

This means that when journalists and articles pull this shit, they're putting the showrunner, the writers, the actors doing interviews, and the network in a bad situation that they can't really do anything about. Not without causing more mess.

So that's reason number one why a lot of us are annoyed: by yelling about Buddie, these articles and journalists are setting the cast and crew we love up to get yelled at for queerbaiting if Buddie doesn't immediately happen, and there's nothing the cast and crew can do about it, and it's all so the journalists and articles can use us, the fandom, for clicks. So we're also kinda getting used here, and it doesn't feel great.

The second reason we're annoyed about Buddie questions is that it's being asked of the actors who, nine times out of ten, have ZERO CONTROL OVER THE STORYLINES.

Now, there are exceptions. Jennifer Love Hewitt, who plays Maddie, has pushed back on a couple storylines that were given to her and has therefore had a strong hand in shaping Maddie's character. One infamous (in a positive way) example is that Maddie and Eddie were supposed to be an endgame couple. JLH, however, immediately loved the character of Chimney and clicked with Chim's actor Kenneth Choi, so she asked if Maddie could get with Chim instead, feeling he'd be a better fit for her character. And lo, both the beautiful ship Madney and the insanity that is Buddie shipping was born because Buck ended up stepping into that co-parenting-Chris role that Maddie obviously would've originally filled.

However, it should be noted that JLH was an established star before coming onto 9-1-1, and her husband is friends with Tim the showrunner. I would argue that the only other two actors who have any power on their storylines are Peter and Angela, the latter because she can do whatever she wants forever, and the former because (like Angela) he is an executive producer on the show.

It's not that actors never ever get to have a say ever, but the writers, showrunner, and network have much more power. They create the storylines, they make the decisions. Not actors. So when the actors are repeatedly asked about a ship, they're put in an awkward position where they might not even know the full storyline for their character that season and now they need to answer in a way that doesn't reveal any information they do know, but also doesn't insult shippers or dash their hopes. This is a double minefield for queer ships because, again: historic insults to queer fans and characters, nobody wants to be offensive.

The third reason is that this fandom has, historically, treated Tim, Oliver, and others like absolute dogshit over Buddie not going canon. Oliver's left Twitter and taken big social media breaks because of how he was yelled at online. It's not cool, guys. Vent all you want but directing it at the cast and crew isn't okay and maybe if it was just you talking sternly that would be fine (maybe) but when it's dozens of people? It's bullying. Full stop.

Every single time Buddie has not gone canon instantly, the actors and others have gotten verbally abused on social media. Every time the actors have been asked about Buddie and not said "ohmygod yes I want it to happen so bad" (they are not allowed to say this because it might create false hope because again: historical queerbaiting) they've gotten yelled at. We are tired of the actors getting yelled at over something over which they have no control.

The fourth reason is that Oliver, especially, has gotten asked about Buddie a LOT. A lot. The poor man is very tired. He's been cornered about Buddie and asked about it aggressively by certain journalists (one journalist, Max Gao, actually tried to corner Gavin who plays Chris over Buddie - this was a few years ago so Gavin was even younger than he is now and I personally think that is an incredibly unfairly loaded question to give to a child).

If I may dive into speculation for a moment, given how the actors have been SO gleeful about the move to ABC, the fact that they've admitted ABC is letting them do storylines and little moments that FOX wouldn't, and a few other things I won't get into here because this damn thing is long enough already... I suspect FOX would not let Buddie happen. If this is the case, then actors being asked about Buddie is even more loaded because they are being asked questions about it and they can't say "yeah we want to but the network won't let us." THEY WILL GET FIRED FOR THIS.

But, whether or not my speculation is true, the fact remains that when you are repeatedly, over and over, aggressively asked if this fan ship is going to happen or not, you get tired. There's only so many times that someone can give a diplomatic answer before you just want to snap "stop fucking asking me!" Journalists love to take advantage of fandom and social media chatter to get attention for their articles so asking over and over again about Buddie isn't because they genuinely care or think it'll happen, it's to get shippers reading their article, and so bombarding the actors and writers with this question when they've already kinda said their peace a lot about it is frustrating. Just! Leave them alone!

And AGAIN: if this was a M/F ship there could maybe be room for teasing the will-they-won't-they but because of historically bad treatment of queer characters and fans, THEY CANNOT DO THAT. So the only option open to them is to KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT. And keeping one's mouth shut and threading that diplomatic needle for years is EXHAUSTING.

We do want Buddie to be canon, nonny, and in my opinion we are going to get it. All this recent PR supports that, (again: in my opinion).

However, we have seen Oliver get bombarded with what he thinks about Buddie until the cows come home, and he deserves a break. There's nothing new he can say, there's nothing new he's allowed to say. We have seen other parts of the fandom scream that we're being queerbaited because Buddie didn't instantly go canon, without any consideration for the fact that a) queerbaiting is a marketing tactic and b) there might be other factors at play preventing it going canon. We have seen journalists take advantage of us, the shippers, in order to get attention, and we have seen them create an awkward and embarrassing atmosphere in interviews by repeatedly asking about the ship. We have seen shippers make us look bad by hounding the cast and crew on social media about Buddie, treating every woman actress who plays a Buck/Eddie love interest like shit (yes, I know about Edy, but she could be a saint and parts of the fandom would still go onto Instagram to call her names), and generally being absolute pills that would tempt any showrunner, actor, or writer to say "y'know what fuck 'em let's not make Buddie canon I'm not rewarding this shitty behavior."

"If we want Buddie then shouldn't we be asking Buddie questions?" No. Not like journalists and fans have been. It's something to bring up - in my opinion - sparingly and with an awareness of how queer storylines and ships and fandom have been mocked, ignored, baited, and so on over the years. They don't ask about Buddie because they give a shit. They ask because they want our clicks for their ad revenue and they want our retweets and likes and comments. And it's certainly not something to bombard the actors with on social media and bitch at them if it doesn't happen. It just makes the rest of fandom look bad and makes us look like children.

Additionally: These are not new questions! They're not only asking these questions now that it looks like Buddie will go canon, with serious hope and consideration based on the marketing and storylines. They've been asking this since season fucking two, when Buddie was clearly not planned, just to get fangirl (gn) clicks. They wanted to get attention and teehee over how Oliver/Ryan/whoever reacted to people thinking Buck and Eddie should touch dicks. 'Kay?

We know the pattern. So when every piece of media is screaming BUDDIE!!! we are not seeing it as "OMG could we go canon?" We see it as another round of being taken advantage of for article attention, another round of parts of the fandom being bullies and yelling about being baited, and another round of the actors being backed into uncomfortable corners.

That's why we're concerned, worried, and annoyed.

*collapses* I hope this covered everything and explained it all.

#mads answers things #THIS IS SO LONG OH GOD #I wouldn't know concise if it smacked me in the face #making this rebloggable for now so people can spread the information if they find it helpful/informative #but the moment there is clowning (derogatory) I'm turning reblogs OFF I do NOT have the patience #I spent an hour working on this instead of the F&F AU so like not to sound aggressive but this BETTER have answered y'all's questions LOL

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dollcherray · 2 months

Note

W W W W WAITTT. I dont know If you do this but can you do a Δlice x reader but the reader is always sneaking into her room. (IF NOT I APOLOGIES A MILLION TIMES.)

୨୧ HANSEL ✮⋆˙

Alice x Reader who keeps sneaking into her room

Tw: Slight killing mentions but nothing more than that.

A/N: i was waiting for this moment, reader is gender neutral, Alice is frustrated, your frustrating, probably OOC Alice, Oliver and Alice arent dating in this, kind of short , im in a hurry rn so its prob poorly made 😭 (didnt know if you wanted hcs or oneshot so i did oneshot)

Type: Fluff, Romantic, Oneshot

୨୧ You are so frustrating, you really are, why do you keep doing this?

You kept sneaking into her room, and everytime, she would attack you for it and YOU somehow kept escaping her claws and KEPT coming back, she thought at first tha you had a death wish, then she thought you were trying to annoy her, but now, she just gave up and was here, feeling you lean against her and babble about something, probably about your classes and collegues.

—“Uh, Alice, are u even hearing?” your loving annoying voice invaded her ears and snapped her back into reality as she turned her attention to your face, who was puzzled and awaiting for her answer even though you probably knew it and Alice simply looking at you for some time gave that confirmation, you simply sighed, but before you could even talk, Alice spoke up with her dark and firm tone.

—“why do you keep coming here?” The princess spoke up, simply looking at you with an angry countenance, and what made her more annoyed is how your expression simply looked unbothered by her question and you taking your time to answer, cant u get a fucking hint?

—"Because, you seen to never have any visitors, so i decided to be your first one to keep you company" you said, normally and happily, you thought that your comment wouldnt really have much meaning to Alice but that struck the demon girl like a lightning, someone, wanting to keep HER company? thats new.

—“wait, did you have any visitors before me?" Alice looked at you with an unreadable look, as if she was analyzing something about you, before a silly smirk crept on her face.

—“well, i did have, but, none of them got out to see the light of day, so i guess your the only one that counts” Alice said with an smug and oddly cute smile no one ever got the chance to get off of her, so that alone was one heck of an achievement.

—“im honored to be the first visitor to the royal princess Alice” you said in a playful tone as you gestured a silly bown with ur head, getting a little breathy laugh out of the brown haired girl who tickled ur cheek with the point of her claw.

maybe you werent really that bad ♡

A/N:(im gonna go eat now and rest then come back to writing, dont wanna burn myself with writing)

#୨୧ cherry works #fpe #fpe alice #alice x reader #fundamental paper education x reader #fundamental paper education #alice fpe #fpe x reader #fluff

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kiss-me-muchoo · 1 year

Text

𝐖𝐨𝐦𝐛 || 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐠 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘, 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡, 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝. 𝐍𝐎 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃.

𝐀/𝐍_𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐖𝐨𝐦𝐛 𝐛𝐲 𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐳. 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨, 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡, 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄.

✰ 𝙄𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙓 (𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚) (𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙢.𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙤)

♪ ♫ 𝙋𝙀𝘿𝙍𝙊 𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 (𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩)

「 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐲: 𝐑𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐞, 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐭 」 𝐄xtra 01

(𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚)

You were gonna miss the summer. The heavy sun rays, the handmade ice cream Mrs.Montgomery made. Maria was not yelling for wasting hot water because the summer in Jackson was so extreme that the cold water turned a little warm.

But you were overreacting because it was September, and summer was at its peak in the town. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, of course.

You look at the street quietly. It’s Thursday, men are working, and women are too. But since you’re entering the last trimester of the pregnancy, teaching shifts are becoming smaller.

You are seated in a rocking chair with a fan in your hand, trying to soothe the heat. A cold glass of lemonade in your other hand.

Everything was fine. After having one of the worst fights with Joel a little after arriving in Jackson, you discovered you were pregnant and that Ellie and Joel lied to you. Those days were hard, but soon the rainbow came. And you married the bravest man in town.

Joel still received bad looks for marrying and knocking up a young woman like you. He couldn’t care less, always proudly putting his hand around your waist or shoulder when you were out or shoving off the height difference between you and him.

The weekends were fantastic. Friday was your best chance to get a messy night with your husband after Ellie left to watch some movies. Saturdays were for decorating the nursery room for the baby.

Since nobody knew what gender would be, the room would be beige with salmon and olive green sparks.

And Sundays, we’re for church and visiting Tommy, Maria, and their baby.

However, this weekend, everything would go differently if Joel joined your plan.

“Hey, Ellie. How was school today, baby?” She shrugged calmly. You knew it was hard for her. She wasn’t used to having an everyday life, and now…

“Good. I got a B on my homework. And I talked with some kids. But…” You nodded, opening your arms and inviting her to have a warm hug. Her head collapsed in your chest, and one of her hands landed on your swollen belly.

“I know. I know it’s hard. But it doesn’t matter; neither Joel nor I pressured you to have friends or be good at school. Time to time…” she wasn’t crying, but sure, she was emotional. “We are proud of you. Plus, Joel’s birthday is on Saturday. I need to get some fresh strawberries. Would you like to help with the cake?”

“Hell yeah. But…I thought Joel was against flour and-“ you giggle. Happy to see Ellie smiling again.

“He is. But we won’t use flour. Only yogurt and eggs. It’ll be a healthy cake….”

“So the strawberries….” you try to incorporate, but Ellie is there to help you. You were feeling great to be seven months pregnant. You could sleep very well, sex was amazing in every position, and summer blessed you with elevated temperatures that only required you to wear sundresses.

“It’s only half an hour away from here. Free from infection, Maria said it was safe when Tommy took her some weeks ago” Ellie nodded, entering the house behind you. The girl wasn’t sure of the idea.

“But you shouldn’t go. Maybe Joel could go with Tommy…” you sighed. Everyone wanted to protect you, especially Joel. You were thankful to have a caring family again. But this was a one-time opportunity. You didn’t know if you would be alive for the next season of strawberries for Joel’s birthday. You didn’t know if the place would be full of infected by next year. It was a single opportunity to do something that would stay in your memories forever and Joel’s.

“I know everyone’s gonna freak out when they hear about this. But I really want to do this. Remember that feeling of seeing the giraffe in Salt Lake?” The girl nodded. Of course, she remembered. She felt like a girl her age. It was one of those things that were shockingly beautiful now but before the outbreak was typical.

“That’s the feeling I have about this. And I would take you too. But Maria would definitely kill me,” Ellie giggled but seized after seeing your face grow in discontent.

“What?” She asked you. Inside the house, in the kitchen, it was nice because it was cold. But upstairs was hell. And the living room was hot but humid. Which wasn’t helping with your pain.

“I think the baby kicked and moved at the same time,” you managed to explain. Ellie was amused by your pregnancy. She found the process of growing a little human inside you both extraordinary and disgusting. Initially, she was afraid that you or Joel would get rid of her after having a kid of their own. But now she was pretty sure not because she always felt welcome and part of the family.

“Maybe it’s turning upside down….” you nodded, smiling once the pain was gone. “See? It’s like an alien growing inside like you said.”

“If that kid comes up looking like the exact copy of Joel, I’ll be a pain in the ass for that old man,” you laugh. Ellie didn't cause much trouble in Jackson, she was a good kid, but you knew she had a violent nature inside her. However, since you arrived in Jackson six months ago, the only trouble she caused was inside the house. For example, leaving the lights on, the floor wet, making Joel almost slip and break his back, etc.

“You are making my man age three times faster than he should, Ellie” The girl winked and opened the kitchen door, heading towards the fridge to grab a cold glass of water.

“Don’t say that. It reminds the age gap between you two” Rolling your eyes, you start waving the fan in your hand to soothe the heat.

“A guy my age would never ever protect me for so long. A guy my age would have killed me after I got bit. A guy my age would have stopped to look after me when David and his cult took us. And a guy my age would have abandoned the baby and me.” Ellie sighed, tilting her head.

“I know. I’m sorry,” you nod, shaking your head. Trying to tell her that it was fine.

“It’s okay. We know it isn’t ideal. But it works, and it's the least of the worries today” She got closer to give you another hug, which you accepted.

After arriving in Jackson, Ellie started to show significant affection to you. Which was weird at the beginning, but now it felt normal.

—

“What are you doing?” You ask with a laugh when you see Joel painting a wall of the backyard in black. After eating dinner with Ellie, she went to do homework, and you decided to take a long nap. When you woke up, it was dark. The dishes were clean, so Joel must’ve had dinner, and when you smelled the fresh paint, you directly went out.

“Oh, hey…” he greeted, offering a sweet smile. You smiled, loving how often he was smiling now. He also looked physically better, less dark bags under his eyes, better-looking skin, and a friendly mood. “Does it smell a lot inside?”

“No, just at the kitchen entrance,” he nodded. Some seconds later, he had finished the whole wall. Well, just the lower half. Now you were confused looking at the border with two different colors. Joel noticed your concussion and stood up to get close to you.

“It's chalkboard paint. Tommy found it today at the stables. I thought it would be good for… the kid to have a place to draw” Your eyes water immediately, and you throw at him to hug him. He receives your warm body and feels how dainty it’s the moment for you.

“Oh, Joel, you are going to be such a good father again” Again, it replayed in his head. He was going to have another kid. In his fifties, away from Texas, without Sarah. He was scared, but everything was fine. Better than it was in the winter.

“You think I can do it?” He asks, letting out his insecurities. He grasps your hair, pushing your right cheek against his chest.

“I think you’ve already done it, love” He knows what you mean. A year of taking care of Ellie. A year of many deaths of people both of you knew. How fast things changed.

“I can’t believe this is happening again,” he said in disbelief. He wanted to stay the whole night holding you, trying to get inside his head that he had a house, a work, an adopted kid, and an unborn one. That you were his wife, telling him he would be an amazing father.

“I was thinking. Maybe tomorrow we could go and pick some strawberries outside. Maria was telling me about this field. She’s making Tommy and other men go pick up for the food storage,” he flinched away from you. And started to say no multiple times.

“Uhm…No?. You’re pregnant, y/n. And if Tommy and the others take them, Why should we go?” You sigh. Crossing your arms, resting them above your belly.

“It’s like half an hour away from here, Joel. It’s safe. It would be like a walk. You heard the doctor. She said I need to go on walks” The man started picking up the can of paint.

“I said no, y/n. We can walk inside the town, and I can make Tommy bring you a basket of strawberries next week.

He was right, but you got irritated easier than ever. He could see your eyes get teary again, your cheeks red from anger, and you groan, showing how annoyed you were.

“Baby…” he called as he watched you sprint inside the house. He sighed, putting his hands on his hips.

You took a shower without Joel, brushed your teeth with angry tears falling, and tucked inside the bed, grabbing your diary to write about the past days.

When you were almost finished with how grumpy and close-minded Joel was, he went out of the bathroom with a towel around his hips.

You ignore him as you notice that he’s watching you. He lets out a little sigh and then proceeds to the edge of the bed.

“We can go to the strawberry fields in the morning. But it has to be fast. We can’t stay past midday.” You stop writing to smile at him.

“Really?” He nodded, rolling his eyes. “ yeah. I spoke with Tommy, and he said it is very safe.”

“Thank you, thank you. Oh, I love you….” you crawl to hug him from behind, kissing his cheeks.

“Well, now spread those legs because that trip it’s not gonna be for free” You start laughing very hard after listening to him. He giggles too, but you obey him. And the air shifts, heating.

“Just for my old man” He rolled his eyes again. And began to kiss you deeply.

As you place your arms around his shoulders, he leans to end up topping you.

You love the feeling of his lips abusing yours, his hands caressing your belly. It’s perfect, just as the day ended.

—

In the morning, you leave a note for Ellie. You left some boiled eggs and fruit for her; hopefully, you would be home by midday.

You take a backpack with some sandwiches for breakfast and your medical kit. Knives and a gun in case of anything.

You walk to the stable where Joel is waiting for you. The cramps you felt the day before were still there. You kept saying it was the baby moving around your womb but deep down, you felt a bad omen about it.

You look at your handsome husband, and once he spots you, he places his thumb and index finger above the bridge of his nose.

“I’m not taking you if you’re wearing a skirt” You ignore him, walking past him to the little exit. You wouldn’t make an exit through the principal gate.

“Joel, I traveled a great distance throughout the country in a hospital gown and bare feet. Don’t tell me to go and get changed.”

“What if you get a scratch, or do we need to climb somewhere?” Exasperated, you stop walking to turn back.

“Gosh, Joel, it’s just a walk near the town. No mountains or hiking. It’s a firm trail” He helps you open the door, praying in silence that everything goes well.

Apparently, you were right. You followed Tommy's map, leading the way as Joel kept his rifle in position. The trail was easy, and Joel saw the fields in the blink of an eye.

“This is amazing,” you whispered, in a trance, looking at the beauty nature gave you and your partner. Joel had a smile when he looked at you. And he regretted saying no to you at the beginning. You looked adorable in a long hippie skirt and a white tee that looked a little like a crop top with your belly in the middle. At that moment, he wished he could have taken a picture of you. At least he would keep the image in his memories forever.

“ We should have breakfast here” he opted, to which you agreed. Both took a seat on a giant rock and you took both sandwiches out of your backpack.

“You shouldn’t be eating spicy stuff” Joel said after feeling the first taste of spicy boiled eggs.

“I know, but it’s one of the biggest cravings I’m having,” he chuckled, looking at how you devoured the sandwich.

“You would have loved Indian food then. There was something called Tandoori chicken that I loved to have on takeout with Tommy back in Texas. Sarah hated the smell of yogurt and spices, but Tommy always asked for the spiciest option” You had noticed that Joel was more open about his past now. You liked it, and you enjoyed hearing about his younger years.

“And Mexican food. I was a friend of an old lady that owned a restaurant. She loved feeding me when I was a teenager and nobody could take care of Sarah” You smile fondly.

“I would love to try other types of food, but I’m thankful for this. However… How was she as a baby?” Joel was surprised by your question. He knew you avoided asking about his daughter because of him. But he was ready to share more.

“The fussiest baby. Always demanding her formula on time. She had the brightest chocolate eyes and a dazzling mound of curls in her head.” The way he speaks with so much love, it melts your heart.

“And she loved to take baths. She wouldn’t stop giggling” He looks at your face, noticing how your smile has changed. Soon he realized he might have sounded like he had high expectations for the new baby. He knew nothing would be the same. He already loved you and the new baby and knew that meant new memories.

“Our baby will bring new memories. And this time, I’ll have you all the way….” He kisses your forehead, and you nod, smiling.

“I just pray it comes healthy. Now I realize the first months I was feeding him spoiled food” Both of you laugh as you finish the sandwiches with orange juice.

“The doctor said everything was fine. Even Freya said you looked fine” You roll your eyes at the mention of Freya. The woman who flirted with Joel ruined your pregnancy's secret months ago. “Shut up. Don’t ruin our morning with Freya.”

“Yeah, right. Sorry, baby,” he accepted, giggling. You frowned a little after feeling an unexpected cramp. Joel quickly places his hand on your bump, worried.

“What are you feeling?” You shake your head. Placing a hand in the air, trying to comfort him.

“Nothing, just a cramp” When you stood up, you felt a heavier pressure on your lower belly. But you pretended it was nothing.

“Are you sure we should keep going?” You nodded at your husband’s question.

“Yeah. It’s fine. C’mon,” he was unsure. But followed you after you started to keep going.

Ten minutes later, the cramps increased. But you finally were in the strawberry fields. You start cutting strawberries and flowers to place them inside the basket you brought.

“What if the fruit is infected?” You roll your eyes, taking out a transparent bottle with a white liquid. “I made this natural wash with vinegar, Leonand baking soda. If it’s infected, the strawberry will start erupting bubbles.”

“Smart girl…” you wink cheekily, proceeding to lean further.

You don’t know what happened. It just felt like something was being pulled from your insides. And when Joel turned to see you, you had dropped the knife and basket, landing on your knees.

“What happened?’ He yelled worriedly, running to sit behind you.

“I don’t-, ouch. Joel! This hurts…” his heart pounded faster. He helped you to sit correctly. Unconsciously, you leaned on your elbows and opened your legs a little.

Joel gasped, worried about his assumption. Your legs were exposed, and the hem of your dress was pooled around your pelvis and belly. Some strawberries were mashed on your legs from the pressure of your fall.

“Breathe, y/n. It might be some cramps, that’s all,” you nod. But a minute later, you are sweating and yelling in pain.

Frustrated to see you in pain, he cleaned your forehead and helped you to accommodate.

He slipped his hand under your dress and made contact with your folds being widely swollen. He slipped his fingers inside you and opened his eyes once he felt something obstructing the way.

It was the baby, coming very fast.

“Fucking hell. This can’t be happening right now” You opened your eyes, confused at him. “Joel, what?

“You are birthing, y/n” Your eyes grew wetter, and you started shaking your head in denial.

“No, no. I have two months left. Our baby is coming in November,” Joel sighed. He couldn’t understand why it was happening so fast. He thought your delivery would be slower. But it seemed to be happening super fast.

“I think the baby has other plans, my love. And we can’t go back like this,” he accepted, trying to be as calm as possible. He had to help you, not stress you out.

“No. I’m not having my baby here. Help me to get up. Let’s go.”

“I can feel the head already. There’s no time, and you can’t retain it. It’s dangerous.” You cry in pain. You just sob for a few minutes. Joel grabs your hands for you to squeeze him as much as you want. But you know there is no other option, you are going to be brave for Joel and the baby.

“Okay. I-goddammit. Hold my hands, Joel. I think I’m gonna start pushing” He nods, and you can see the nervousness on his face. You soothe him with a weak smile.

“It’s okay. We’re safe at least. You can’t scream and relax, love” he lets you know. You nod, frowning as the pressure increases. You can feel the baby sliding through your cervix and ripping your insides.

“I’m gonna see how it’s going. Okay?” You nod, yelling. He lets go of one of your hands to push your dress up.

He sighed, shocked to see half of the baby’s head out. He wasn’t present at Sarah's delivery. He had to wait outside, and now, seeing the graphic scene didn’t scare him, but it was intense.

“The head is almost completely out. You’re doing amazing, baby,” you cry harder. Joel feels useless and realizes a tiny human will be there in minutes.

Five minutes later, you are shaking and screaming nonstop. Joel holds both of your hands again.

“Just a little more, mama. Breathe…” You gasp for air one last time before pushing as hard as possible. Both of you look at each other when the cries of the baby begin.

Joel drops your hands to catch the little human, and you have the baby in your chest in the blink of an eye.

“Oh God…” you sob happily as you kiss the baby’s head. Crying, you start counting the fingers on the hands and toes.

“Five fingers on both hands and toes,” you say with a giant smile” Then, you finally notice it. “Joel, it’s a girl.”

Joel Miller instantly cries.

“A girl…” he whispers, looking at the little squirming crybaby in your arms. She’s incredibly tiny. Yet, she didn’t look like a seven-month-baby.

“I don’t think she was seven months…” you read his mind. He shakes his head, the baby has dark brown hair, she has matted hair and she’s pale as every newborn is. “Me neither. I think she was just small.”

“She’s perfect,” he managed to say after some seconds of silence, wiping his tears away.

“Cut the cord, please,” you plead to him. He nods, grabs a clean knife from his backpack, and proceeds to cut it. Your legs, shirt, and skirt are drenched in blood and fluids. But you can’t stop crying with happiness.

“I can’t fucking believe this…” he says, leaning to kiss your lips. The baby has stopped crying. She’s trying to adjust to the light and yawning.

“We need to go back. She needs to be checked, and I need to push the placenta. It’s already past two” He knows you’re right. But he doesn’t want to make you walk. He wants you to rest. He realized you pushed the baby in less than forty minutes, and it felt like a second.

“You just pushed a baby. I think you should rest” You shake your head, already reeling and anxious because the baby needs to be urgently checked.

“You know we can’t stay. Could you grab her?” He nods, but he’s terrified to hold her own daughter. You hand her, but he’s taking his jacket off. He wrapped her with the jacket and that’s when it hit him.

He had a daughter and now he had another daughter. You were a mother. He was a father. Exactly a year after he rejected your suggestion of having a family with him.

He smiles at the baby, finally surrendering and falling in love with her.

He doesn’t want to let her go, like never.

“Oh, y/n. Stop it, I’ll help you and then you stand up” he hurries to stop you from trying to stand up by yourself. With his free arm, he acts as a support for you. You sigh when you’re on your feet, knowing it will be a long way home.

“You’re so brave and-. God, I love you,” he admits, making you smile at his cuteness. You love the sight of him holding the baby. You are going to get used to it.

“I love you too, so much” He kisses your forehead. “Now, let’s fucking go home.”

Like you had come from the war with Joel, the thirty minutes walk became an hour and a half. By 4:00pm, you were in Jackson. The stables are empty, and once you make it outside, just by casualty, Maria is there talking with Rosalie and Rae. The couple who became your only friends.

Rae spots you and gasps in shock. The group turns around, and once they see you covered in blood and Joel holding a bundle in a jacket, they run toward you two.

“Holy shit. What the fuck happened? Rosalie, bring a wheelchair,” the woman nods, running.

“I gave birth,” you announce. Some people gather near you and Joel. You know they’re gonna be talking about your baby for days.

“I can’t believe it,” Maria says in disbelief. Getting closer, Joel leans and uncovers the baby’s face. Maria smiles widely.

“She’s beautiful. Congratulations…” Joel nods, and you thank to see Rosalie with Tommy bringing a wheelchair.

“Well damn. Let me see me….” Tommy starts but ends because he doesn’t know the gender.

“Niece, Tommy. She’s a girl,” a couple of brothers hug, and you feel happy to see them like that.

“Yes, she's a Miller. That hair comes from our mom” You feel like you’re gonna tear again.

“I think we can keep talking in the clinic,” Rosalie said, hugging and congratulating you.

“Someone, please call Ellie,” you say to the group. They nod, and you feel sleepy as Rae pushes you into the wheelchair.

—

You wake up to the sound of laughter. When you open your eyes. Everyone is there, in your little room inside the clinic.

“Look, baby. Mommy is awake” You smile at Rosalie, holding her. Everyone turns to see you finally awake.

“We’ll give you two some privacy. But not so much. We are outside,” Tommy lets you know. And once they leave, Joel helps you with your gown.

You place the baby in your chest, and without notice, she latches on your left nipple. It hurts a little, and you wonder how she could bite and make you feel like your nipple was getting ripped off when she didn’t had teeth.

“Poor baby, you must've been starving,” you coo at her. Joel takes a seat beside you, looking in adoration at the tiny girl.

“We haven’t named her…” he says. You won’t last too much without answering. You though about for months, avoiding to tell Joel because you were afraid of his reaction. But it’s time now…

“Joel, I know this is a whole new chapter for you. I know this means too many things to you. However… I was thinking of a name that could rhyme with… her” Joel looks at you curiously. So you continue.

“What do you think of Cerise?” Joel nods instantly. He kissed you again, and you felt relief after his reaction.

“Sounds good. Cerise Miller, right?” The man keeps nodding.

You finally pay full attention to your baby. She’s wearing a pink onesie. Although it's hot, she has long sleeves and small gloves that prevent her from scratching her face. Her skin tone starts looking more like Joel’s, and you love it. Cerise stops eating and you start burping her.

“Thank you for everything you have done for me. I will always owe you, y/n” You cup his cheek in awe. Brushing your thumb against his patchy beard, he closes his eyes.

“I owe you a lot too. We will pay each other for the rest of our lives” Before anyone can say anything else, the door slowly opens, revealing Ellie entering.

“Hey, bug,” you greet her. She looks shocked.

“Holy shit. You gave birth in the wild? Damn, y/n, God was afraid of making you immortal, right?” Joel and you start laughing. She comes closer, and once baby Cerise burps, you spin her to show her to Ellie.

“Oh, she’s so cute. But there’s no way she’s a seven-month baby” Joel shakes her head.

“She isn’t. The doctor said she’s spent nine months inside” Ellie shrugs at Joel’s words. You also look at him, probably he discovered it while you were sleeping.

“Guess she’s just a tiny baby,” you explain, smiling. Looking at Ellie’s curiosity, you hand the baby to her.

“Want to hold her?” Ellie nods nervously. “Help me, Joel”

The man rolls his eyes and makes the girl take a seat before joining her. You look at them, and it melts your heart.

“Yeah, you got it” You smile at Ellie, and she replies with another smile. She looks good with the baby in her arms.

“What’s her name?” Joel keeps rubbing the tiny hairs of the girl’s delicate skull.

“Cerise,” Joel lets her know. Ellie nodded, smiling at the baby and how she was soundly asleep.

“It’s pretty.” There’s nothing else to be said. The four of you just stay there, like a family.

—-

You must sleep in the living room that first night because you couldn’t go upstairs. Ellie and Joel make you feel comfortable, they put Cerise’s bassinet beside you, and Joel holds you tightly the whole night. Cerise only woke up two times. And she didn't cry so much.

You woke up at 10:00 am. Cerise was sleeping. You carefully took a shower and the bandages Maria handed you. It was an Asian method that she used, and she felt like herself again in the third month. After a little routine of making yourself presentable, you quietly started baking Joel’s cake. You saved a little basket after Cerise decided to introduce herself to the world. You had invited everyone to celebrate, only that it was a surprise for Joel.

When the cake is in the oven, Cerise starts moving. Joel starts waking up too, but you send him to sleep again,

“It’s okay, handsome. Go back to sleep,” he protests. “But Cerise-“

“She’s fine. Please go back to sleep. “He spent a significant part of the night storing your milk. Apparently, eating oats for months increases your milk.

He nods, going back to sleep, so you sigh, thankful. Cerise is awake, fussy, and demanding attention.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” you fed him. After noticing she was sweating too much, you changed her into a strap onesie of butterflies with adorable matching socks and gloves. Ellie enters the kitchen.

“Smells like cake… wait. You made the cake without me?” You nod. “Sorry, I can’t go upstairs. And if I called you, Joel would be here already.

“Fine. Just because you brought Cerise to the world yesterday,” you giggle.

“But perhaps you could help me to decorate it,” Ellie nods excitedly.

—

Joel enters the kitchen and is greeted by a surprising sight. You and Ellie look like you were manipulating a crime scene, and Joel discovered it. But there was a medium cake on the table, besides Cerise and her Moses.

“What is going on?” He asked.

“Happy birthday, old man,” Ellie said happily. Joel inspected the cake.

Oh yeah, today was his birthday. And it was the first birthday he had celebrated since the outbreak.

“Happy birthday, Joel,” you hugged him tightly. He stood quiet but wrapped his arms around you, feeling your stomach and back bandaged.

“It’s been twenty-one years….” You knew. Even Ellie did.

“We know, love. You deserve this….” you say, brushing his arms.

“Plus, it's a flourless cake. And Cerise has another present for you” Joel looks suspiciously at Ellie but smiles kindly.

“My smart and beautiful wife…” he whispered in your ear. Making you blush.

Ellie brought a little brown box, and you took Cerise out of her Moses to pretend she was handing Joel’s gift.

“Oh god,” he said, laughing, looking at his baby in an adorable onesie and pretending to hold the box.

“You might want to take a seat” He frowned, confused, but followed your suggestion.

He opened the box, and after encountering a layer of old newspapers, there was a little frame in the shape of two circles.

A picture of baby Sarah was placed on the left side, and on the right side, a recent photo of Cerise was there.

“How?-“ Joel was shocked to see a picture of Sarah. He couldn’t save anything that day.

“Tommy. He had one in his wallet that day….” Joel crashed his head on your chest, hugging you again. “Ellie suggested the idea, and Tommy helped us” Ellie was holding Cerise when she got closer to give Joel some comforting pats on the back.

He surprised her by also hugging her and Cerise on the way.

“Thank you…” Ellie felt blissed by that moment.

But everyone found the moment perfect. Especially Joel, who noticed the significant presence of the girls he had in his arms.

“Oh, my girls,” he accepted, feeling Cerise’s tiny head by his heart. Where Sarah also was and would be forever.

But now, he had Ellie, Cerise, and you, the woman he would never let go.

________________________

I have watery eyes, fuck me :), Womb by Melanie might have multiple hints of the future of this series (part 2)

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal

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