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Despite Violet still not knowing the fine art of subtly, her sister appreciates her pep talk. Now onto the date. but it’s just between friends...right?

Kind of shouting this into the open, but IS there a feasible way to protest Tumblr's selling of user data to companies like Midjourney to train AI? Planning a "strike"/period of not doing Anything on Tumblr plus stopping the buying of Tumblr merch (badges, etc) is one thing, but IDK if it's enough. I'm thinking of writing an email/letter to the Tumblr company detailing why that this is a bad decision and how AI does more harm than good for people, but I doubt it will really do anything if a few, if any, complaints against a big company that might not even be that affected by the backlash. (NOTE: I am NOT a legal or even protest expert, please don't assume I have a good idea on how to criticize/protest Tumblr for this if it is possible, I am just a regular person spitballing and not happy with the recent decision re: AI)

Okay, I made a post about this vaguely a while back, and no one interacted with it or said that they wanted to hear more, but I wanna talk about it. When I was a kid, Dexter’s Lab and Johnny Test, and to a lesser extent Gravity Falls, scarred me for years. tw for body horror, clowns, warts, and identity/existential crisis

Johnny Test In Johnny Test, there is an episode where Johnny gets a wart. The wart comes to life and is evil, lies to and manipulates him, and is all around a terrible guy. This wasn’t too bad, mostly just gross, and to this day I’m unsure why it bothered me to the extent that it did. I watched the episode alone, eating a microwave burrito- a favorite food of mine, at the time. On top of getting an irrational fear and disgust towards warts, to the extent that I panicked when one developed on my foot or when I discovered that my cousin had some, I couldn’t eat microwave burrito’s anymore. The thought scared me, and when I walked down the freezer isle at the store with my parents I felt anxious at the idea that they might be nearby. Seeing the boxes of them made me feel sick. To me, it felt like eating another microwave burrito would invite something bad into my life. I didn’t eat another one for years.

Dexter’s Lab In Dexter’s Lab, there’s an episode that I only remember one thing about. There was a clown, and if it bit you, then you became a clown as well. Their bodies twisted into clown form, and they would laugh. That’s all I remember, but as a kid, I was already terrified of clowns. The idea I could become one was horrifying. Even worse, was the idea that the clown might try to make me one of them. For weeks, months, afterwards, I could hardly touch the floor some days. I knew I couldn’t see any clowns, I knew that reasonably there weren’t any clowns, but in my mind they were just out of sight. Usually, that meant they were hiding underneath my chair. If my legs hung down in front of the gap between the chair and the floor, I reasoned, the clowns could lunge out and bite me. Jumping off of my seats only helped somewhat. The picture of clown dentures laid out on the floor like bear traps was so vivid to me that it felt like they were there. The same went for stray teeth littered on the ground. I couldn’t see anything like that, but the idea was there, and that was enough to leave me stranded on couches for hours.

Gravity Falls There is a gravity Falls short in which Dipper investigates a man who only ever faces one direction. I was older when I saw this. The man turned out to be a robot that only had one side, being piloted by tiny beings. Again, this wasn’t really a problem, it wasn’t bad, just strange. But, I had envisioned tiny pilots for myself in the past. They weren’t on my side- though I don’t remember what they wanted. Times when I couldn’t help but repeat a motion over and over, or when I moved one finger and then just had to move every other individual finger in turn I accounted to the tiny pilots. It changed, some days, whether those feelings were being prompted by them or if I was fighting back against them. So, seeing this being on the tv, who moved in uncanny ways and has his own pilots was... bad, for me. I found myself sitting, feeling unable to move- especially unable to turn my head. The longer I couldn’t get myself to move the more afraid I was that I wasn’t real, or that that side of my face was gone, or that I had lost the ability to move that way. I knew that I was okay, but on those days I had to keep my head on a swivel, just in case. And those were some of my childhood fears! :)

New gender unlocked: forehead curl

Not gonna lie guys. I just looked into the mirror and went "oh. There I am. That's Elliot."

I’ve been on vacation with some family for the past week or so (as I mentioned in a previous post) and I’ve been trying so fucking hard to get them to use the right pronouns and stuff for ages, fucking ages, and we were sitting waiting to be seated at a restaurant and someone said something and I told her I already knew, and guess what, she got pissed at me and then like my dad or someone tried to explain why I was “pissy” and he used the wrong fucking pronouns and I know it’s not a big deal but idk I have had to constantly corrects them all week and I guess I broke but idk I feel like I was being over dramatic or something.

.

It's been awhile since I've written, four months to be exact, and I can't even begin to describe the feeling. I'm so happy, to be writing again and sharing my work, to feel excited about a story again, to be excited to write the next chapter.

I'm worried, because I don't know how long this passion will last, but hopefully it stays for a good portion of 2023, and hopefully I can cradle this fire and keep it alight.

It seems I forgot what joy writing brought me, but now, I've remembered, at least for now. And damn, I love being happy with my work. There's nothing like reading over what I've written and going "I did that".

making super reasonable requests of my group chat today

Is anyone else worried about the influx of people from the bird app?

It might be irrational since this week has sucked majorly for me but I seek validation

oh- we’re splitting a Lot i think

thaaaaat’s probably not good-

"do the opposite of what people tell you to do"

Yo what if I just like wrote a fiction book loosely based on my real life idk I’ve done some shit and I’ve had so much shit done around me 🥴 like first person narrative idk

Can you just like one day start writing it

one of the theater actors at school said that he planned on "slimming down for the role" and tbh? im so fucking insulted. i have tried so hard. so desperately to lose weight. i have done everything. and he just casually says this?? that he can just change his weight at ease for a play in just a few months, one that he isnt even a lead in?? im so upset. i hate my body. i hate it here. i wanna go home

sorry if this is bothersome but i just absolutely adore how u draw Cassie TToTT

I honestly adore drawing her!!

my house is so fucking weird mainly because of my smoke alarm. that shit goes off at ANY SMOKE, even when we just open the oven.

like imagine this. it’s your first time having a sleepover at my house and the smoke alarm goes off and you jump up ready to run and fight for your life and all you hear is “grandma’s in the kitchen” and your first reaction is “what the fuck” so i have to calmly explain to you no, the house ISN’T on fire, my grandma just opened the oven a little too soon and the fire alarm decided to give us all a heart attack.

"How did you even get in here" "Is that a rethorical question?" "Right you're a ninja, I forgot"

Headcanon that Brad has a flowershop in Dragon Rising and Lloyd drops by to get tea leaves every so often (no other reason in particular...)