i think taking a break from writing smut for like almost a year has been rly refreshing bc i think it made me stop questioning if my writing is interesting without sex and just write it how i want. and then tbh a part of me has realized i like writing without the sex half the time. it’s nice. it’s fun to explore intimacy in as many non sexual ways as you can

first thing i drew on my new tablet to test it out is the tv beast themselves

welcome back kang younghyun 💕

So I personally never interpreted anything in the Lights Out AU to mean that Barns is dead. However, what might have thrown that permon off is the fact that two characters routinely argue "mom says it's my turn to cuddle the arm"

ok yeah i can see where the confusion might'a come in....

any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

being a re:zero fan means trying as hard as you can to not think about how kenichi and naoko are doing. like i really hope that someway somehow when the story ends, or at some point during it, they at least get somekind of closure. like it makes me so so so sad they love subaru so much they literally love their boy SO much please let them see their boy

📺 9 favorite tv shows that I watched (for the first time) in 2023 🍿

Thanks for tagging me @elliecreed! 🤩😁 Yeah...this one was kinda tough cause I'm sooooo behind on everything lol. There's too many things I want to watch that I end up not watching much of anything new 🙃 but anyways!

1. The Last Of Us

2. Fargo (s5)

3. The Uncanny Counter (s2)

4. Beyond Evil

5. Our Dining Table

6. My School President

7. Wednesday

8. Home Economics

9. Stay With Me

If anyone sees this and wants to fill it out, consider yourself tagged! I need to add more shows to my ever growing must watch list lol

everyone please Consider🩸

happy april friend!! hope you're well. not gonna lie i live for the drama so this chapter was sooo great ah! as soon as general how showed up..... i knew shit was gonna go down. so good, man

'for the very first time in their life, she was afraid of him' holy MOLY my jaw was dropped for like 90% of that final interaction between sokka and katara. generally speaking, if one's reaction to being caught in a lie is to double down on their stance of not lying....not great. not a good look sokka. im glad katara got out of there to clear her head and go back to aang, but now i'm worried sokka's going to lose his mind and temper even more (is it possible?!?) once left and the realization of how he's treating everyone comes crashing down on him. because he doesn't want his sister or anyone to hate him or especially be scared of him. this one may hurt :(

and zuko being so certain that iroh wasn't real was so heartbreaking....i feel like being in and out of consciousness doesn't help wounds of the mental/emotional variety because memories are all weird so it's hard to make progress. hopefully katara works her healing magic so zuko can have actual conversations for a meaningful amount of time.

very excited for the next one obviously, but this was some good food!!!!! hope your upcoming week is swell. take care of yourself!!😠do a facemask or something. buy a tasty treat. you deserve it <3

General How: first decent military figure in LIAB.

*every time he shows up chaos ensues*

Sokka is such a mess right now its like pulling pet hair off a black shirt without a magic-fix-all lint roller. So he will probably do what he always does and blame himself and sink a little lower into his depression unfortunately. He did realize his mistake the moment the word left his lips but it was too late, the damage had been done.

Katara instigated the fight, but we are talking 14 & 16 year old trauma filled siblings who are used to bickering and probably didn’t expect it to escalade to this…. Sokka wasn’t going to budge the way he would normally when katara got upset and after she pushed a little too hard he snapped.

UGH Zuko haha…. Poor guy. Don’t worry Katara is going to do her best next chapter to help him & fingers crossed!

Thanks for the ask anon you’re amazing!

.

.

What is the earliest special interest/ hyperfixation you remember having? (Mine was Lilo and stitch which is probably not that surprising)

In media? Probably atla In general though I think it was wildlife? I think mostly big cats, sharks and turtles oh! And dinosaurs of course lol

2:48 am 6 April 2024

tonight I ate a huge block of chocolate and I felt like killing myself. I'm not suicidal. My right thigh really aches where I sometimes cut it months ago. And now while writing, I feel like shitting myself because my stomach does this surrendering thing when I feel any strong emotions. I'm not even sure what emotion it is this time.

Sometimes I cry out of nowhere. The tears just come I am not in control of them. They are usually preceded by some screeching from me. I don't know why I do that either. I hurt my close ones doing that and I don't like it.

I don't have any friends I can talk to. Well I was talking to a friend in the evening (11pm) and the discussion kinda upset me (made me feel like a worthless creature who should cease from existence), and so I watched 6 episodes of Fleabag and related and laughed and felt a lot of things but mainly- "what am I doing with my life? Have I no ambition? I should be studying for an exam next year and not enjoying something" <— that (the last two sentences) was actually from the discussion with the friend.

She said we are all born equally smart. Some just work harder than others. And she compared me and meghna (who is ofcourse better than me despite me besting her in most of our school exams in 12th. She was a topper in 11th and I was not. I'm glad in a way that everyone remembers that. I really hated expectations. But yeah that kinda stung. It wasn't the main hit, far from it). She said that her parents and loads of other doctors work REAAALLY HARD and ARE PERRRRFECTLY HEALTHY (when I told her that over pressuring yourself with work is gonna bring a cerebral stroke and you'll die early and not get to enjoy any of your money and respect and freedom.)

SO THEN IN MY HEAD, MY STUPID MIND TWISTED THST SENTENCE AND MADE IT INTO "OH I CALLED YOUR BLUFF. YOURE JUST OVERREACTING. CEREBRAL STROKES ARE A MYTH BECAUSE OHHHHHH LOOK ST ME BOASTING MY SUPER FIT AND HEALTHY AND ALIVE PARENTS WHO WORK ALL DAY!!!!!" (I hope that everyone she thought of in that list of perfectly healthy and alive workaholics STAY HEALTHY AND WELL AND ALIVE. MAY SHE NEVER FIND OUT THAT BITTER BITTER BLOW THAT CHANGES YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD. MAY SHE NEVER LOSE HER PARENTS YOUNG. GOD BLESS EVERYONE SHE THOUGHT OF AND MORE 🛐)

BUT FUCK YOU VERSHA FOR SAYING THAT because unknowingly you touched a nerve I didn't even know I still had alive. FUCK ME. God I hate everything. I really relate to fleabag rn even though I have no qualifications other than my dad dying to feel relatable to her saying "I feel like crying. All the time."

Its been 3 years and I still haven't gotten over my drunk brother (cousin) molesting me at 15. Because we were really close at a point in time (YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP). AND I TRUSTED HIM MORE THAN ANYONE. I AM STILL NOT OVER IT.

i feel I was hypersexual from as long as I can remember. I had this repeating dream-vision-imagination thing that I am in a hospital lying with my lower body uncovered naked and the doctor calling in my super older than me ( when I was 15 he was 23 or something and the younger one was probably 21) cousin brothers— to come and stare at my genitals. I have had this dream thingy since as long as I can remember. It was often repeating in my head. I do not know why. I was assaulted YEARS later by the both of them on multiple separate occasions but that foreshadowing was thoroughly confusing and unasked for and really fucked up my childhood.

I have been masturbating since as long as I can remember as well. I don't know what's wrong with me. But I'm terrified of men. And I am terrified of being penetrated. I would rather die a virgin honestly. But I'm also really fucking horny all the time. But I really really really do not want anybody to touch my naked body ever.

whenever somebody invades (accidentally or otherwise) my personal space, I have this passive surrendering feeling wash over me like a drug. Like I know that I hate it, I'm aware of me hating someone doing that but it's just that twisted horny part of me or something else maybe i don't know that forces me to remain stationary like a soldier called to attention. I let the intrusive hand finger thigh do whatever the fuck it wants to do and I stay completely still. It's not supposed to be this way. I'm a strong (not really), adult (19 in June this year), aware (vividly aware of articles and awareness videos, Wikipedia and RAIIN articles about every sexual assault terminology, their after effects, mental disorders, percentages, everything) woman with a brown belt in karate. I should do better than this. But my STUPID FUCKING TWISTED MINDED BODY REFUSES TO SEE REASON AND FOLLOW THROUGH WITH MOVING AWAY. SO YEAH FUCK ME I GUESS IM NOT GONNA GIVD CONSENT BUT I CAN JUST STAND HERE AND BE A REALLY GOOD WANKING MATERIAL FOR YOU.

I have to sleep it's 3:27 am now. And I really hate Martin (Claire's i.e. fleabag's sister's husband) from Fleabag.

I think fleabag's therapist scene brought this rant on. And my right thigh really fucking hurts.

I say it a lot but I love love loove my cats like I always feel sad whenever I don’t sleep at home because I’m so used to one of them (usually pascal) sleeping on my legs or next to my arms/head like I love the pressure of them and their little chirps when they’re half asleep and I let them just a little bit and I love how soft they are and how silly they get when they want attention like just AAAAAGGHGHBJ CD C

First day back at work and I didn't drink anything till like 2pm or toilet go to till 5:02pm, I'm definitely 1000% turning into Colleen, I'm just all the over the place with a million half finished things on my desk and felt sharp pain in my arm and soreness increases like I haven't felt since two weeks ago and this is it, this is how I die.

before starting yume nikki i found out that in stars and time has a demo n ive been seeing it around lately so might as well try it and. i might have fallen in love with it immediately. especially siffrin...... absolute top tier protagonist right here i just Know