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addictedtojmanga · 3 years

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Shoujo manga recommendations - otome game isekai

So, after 10+ years reading shoujo manga, I’ve read over 1k titles, admittedly, a reasonable amount is one-shot (or at least a collection of), but nonetheless, over time I had to expand my interests.

Lately, I’ve started reading the otome game isekai genre, and decided it’d be nice to share the ones I thought were best.

Most of them are pretty much the same, but the best ones usually have a twist, so...

! Warning: You’ll most likely want to beat up 1 or 2 characters from each one, but worry not, so do I and the other characters

1. Fiancée's Observation Log of the Self-proclaimed Villainess

Crown prince Cecil was so brilliant that everything in life was easy to the point of boring him, then one day, his fiancée Bertia suddenly said "Prince Cecil, I am a villainess!" Claiming that this world is the same as that of an "otome game" from her past life and that she is playing the role of the "villainess" in it, she aims to play her part well and have their engagement annulled. With that goal in mind, she sets about causing turmoil in Cecil's daily life.

This one definitely takes the gold for me. Super sweet and pretty funny.

2. My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

Most people would prefer being the protagonist of a world full of adventure, be it in a game or in another world. But, unfortunately, a certain girl is not so lucky. Regaining the memories of her past life, she realizes that she was reborn in the world of Fortune Lover—one of the games she used to play. Unfortunately, the character she was reincarnated into—Katarina Claes—is the game's main antagonist, who faces utter doom in every ending. Using her extensive knowledge of the game, she takes it upon herself to escape from the chains of this accursed destiny. However, this will not be an easy feat, especially since she needs to be cautious as to not set off death flags that may speed up the impending doom she is trying to avoid. Even so, to make a change that will affect the lives of everyone around her, she strives—not as the heroine—but as the villainess.

This one takes 2nd place! It has a different result than others, and the FL is great - everyone is, to be fair.

3. Of Course I’ll Claim Palimony

"I'll annul our engagement!" My fiancé suddenly declared?! Apparently he's in love with the recently transferred count's daughter and is planning on making me the villain in order to annul the engagement. Although I have no lingering attachments about the engagement, I do have to claim a hefty consolation fee don't I?

This is sooo good. The FL is spectacular and manages to stand out - even if just a bit - from the rest of the genre.

4. I’m a Villainous Daughter, so I’m going to keep the Last Boss

Avoid the BAD END! That's the goal of the villainess in this plot-twisting story!! She has been reborn into the world of an otome game as the villainess, Irene. Using her memories of her former life, she recognizes flags indicating she's en-route to the bad end, so she makes a plan to conquer the last boss (the evil king Claude), make him her lover, and see if she can open up a new route!

Pretty funny, and the FL is bold. Also, the ML is a bishounen.

It’s one of the few mangas from this genre that has been completely translated, and since it only has 13 chapters, it’s a good way to start out.

5. The Plain & Unnoticeable Me is No More

Elaine Lana Norris, who was born at the top of the aristocratic daughter, was declared abandoned by her second fiancé at the school's founding party. Lana, who has been made a villain daughter, is driven out of her home by a strict grandfather. But there is a secret in Lana that everyone doesn't know about?

I don’t want to give out any spoilers, however, it suffices to say that she accepts her role as the villainess.

Ok, I think these 5 are my favorite, but the ones below have been selected as well, so they’re still pretty good and worth reading.

6. The Villiainess Is Adored by the Crown Prince of the Neighboring Kingdom

Tiararose was supposed to be disengaged and exiled from the country. “This was the Otome game I had played!” She realized on the day before the story’s ending??……. Shall I wait for the judgment? But, I did not do anything too cruel……. Thinking so, the ending continues. But, during the judgement??something that was not possible in the game happened. The neighboring crown prince courted the villainous daughter Tiararose.

ML: 10/10 FL: 8/10 (too insecure for my taste)

7. Endo and Kobayashi’s Live Commentary on the Villainess

She’s always putting on that grumpy face even though she’s not actually that upset! Oh, why can’t she just be honest with herself…!??? She is a tsundere, after all? When her embarrassment levels exceed a certain limit, she will explode into anger. However, the point that she’s suppressing under the surface is that she wouldn’t mind that sort of thing if it were in a less public place.? As Endo-kun passionately reacts to the antics of Lady Liselotte, the villainess of an otome game, Kobayashi-san provides a painstaking breakdown of her tsundere behaviour. Suddenly, one person could hear their voices; Liselotte’s fiancée, Prince Siegward. That is where this story begins.

8. I’m the Villainess, but the Capture Targets are too Abnormal

The villainess, Mystia, remembered her past life on her 10th birthday and has unwittingly turned the characters in the otome game "Kyun Kyun Love School" into yanderes! In order to avoid becoming the love rival of the "heroine" who will lead her to her downfall, she starts making every effort to break off her engagement with her "prince-like classmate"! That’s was what supposed to happen...But, because of her kind personality, her favorability increased instead!

It’s still in its beginning stages, but seems pretty solid.

9. Though I May Be a Villainess, I'll Show You I Can Obtain Happiness!

A collection of one shots.

Great way to start out, it has quite a few options, so if you don’t like one, give another one a try!

10. The Villainess, Cecilia Silvie, Doesn't Want to Die, So She Decided to Cross-dress!

I was reincarnated into the body Cecilia Silvie, the villainess of an otome game. According to the plot, what awaits me in the normal route is either a slow, painful death or an instantaneous one... Essentially, every route leads to my demise. Then I'll change my fate! And that's why I decided to become a man. However, I made a mistake during a certain event, and the story began to head down an unexpected path...?

I haven’t seen any other like this, and if you like gender bender, this one’s for you!

11. I’ll Become a Villainess That Will Go Down in History ― The More of a Villainess I Become, the More the Prince will Dote on Me

Alicia is the eldest daughter of the noble Williams family—a bloodline that excels in dark magic. Her jet-black hair and golden eyes command a powerful presence, but her most unique features are, without a doubt, her sharp tongue and malevolent nature. By all means, she is a villainess, but also a fictional character from an otome game!

12. I’m Not a Villainess!! Just Because I Can Control Darkness Doesn’t Mean I’m a Bad Person!

The novel The Saint Beloved by the Prince is set in the land of Lacia, where spirits control the elements, each of which is overseen by a "Spirit King." On rare occasions, these Spirit Kings may bless a single human, granting them immense magical control over their respective element. The heroine, Amelia Logan, and the villainess, Claudia Leitzya, are two sides of the same coin, blessed by the Light and Dark Spirit Kings respectively. However, while Amelia is beloved, Claudia is hated and rejected due to her dark skin, ebony locks, and aptitude for dark magic. After dying in modern-day Japan, Sakura is reborn as an infant Claudia. While difficult at first, Claudia tries to adjust to this new life, all the while accompanied by the Dark Spirit King Gerald. But even this task is far from easy; people fear her at first glance, no matter how she acts toward them. Still, Claudia is set on changing her fate from the novel, proving she is a good person and breaking free from the shackles of a "villainess."

13. Rebirth of the Villainess: The Life of Letizia after the Engagement Annulment

For some reason, the duke's daughter, Letizia, was plotting to break her engagement with the prince. Her plan succeeded and the prince, none the wiser. But shortly after the engagement was terminated... The King collapsed! In that moment, she recalled her memories of her past life as a nurse and she fully utilised her knowledge & experience as a nurse, to save the King's life. Thinking she had achieved what she wanted, she thought she could finally relax, drinking her favourite beverage and leisurely spend her time, she instead somehow keeps getting involved in incident after incident. The slow and peaceful life is now nothing but a dream!? Lazy daughter, busy seeking freedom and laziness!

14. I Won't Become a Villainess. I'm Just a "Normal" Duke's Daughter!

A Japanese person reincarnated into an otome game chock full of death flags for the villainess, Rosalind. "I'm going to live an enjoyable life in this world!" Making full use of the game knowledge to avoid death flags, for some reason events keep happening one after another?! Contracting with spirits, helping her father (the prime minister) with his work using her modern day knowledge, taking a walk with the holy beast... and on top of all that, even starting up the heroine's event...? Will Rosalind be able to smash through every unknown death flag that comes her way...?! And will she be able to be fluffy lovey-dovey with the supporting beastkin character she liked from her previous life?!

Cute. Has beasts.

15. Milady Just Wants to Relax

She worked herself to death in her past life, but then she was reborn in another world as the villainess Ronia! As expected, her engagement is broken and she's expelled from society, but now she takes that chance to live peacefully, and even opens a cafe with the help of her fairy comrades, which is becoming unexpectedly popular with beast-kin...?

Also cute. Also has beasts.

16. I Swear I Won’t Bother You Again!

Violette, a proud and beautiful daughter of a duke, commits a crime out of jealousy towards her half-sister. Convicted, Violet faces her own heart with sincerity in a prison cell and regrets her sin. Then time rewinds to a turning point—to her first meeting with Maryjun one year ago. Violette makes a decision. She will not make mistakes this time. Without committing a crime and bothering anyone, she will live an ordinary, plain and inconspicuous life...! However, incidents contrary to Violette's expectations occur one after another...?!

17. I Became a Villain Daughter

On her 15th birthday, Hinase Kaede, a young girl who was working as a part-timer, perished in a traffic accident. Upon her death, a self-proclaimed “God” appeared, declaring that Kaede would be brought back to life. However, Kaede’s happiness was short-lived and her soul was thrown into Erika, the villainess of an otome game! In the original game, Erika became a saint candidate alongside the heroine, committed evil deeds over the course of the candidacy, and ultimately faced condemnation. Thus, Kaede decides that she will not get close to the main characters of the game so as to avoid the bad end, but yet——?

#manga #shoujo #shojo #shoujo manga #shojo manga #manga cap #romance #otome game #isekai #mangacap #shoujo recommendation #bakarina #bertia #endo and kobayashi’s live commentary on the villainess #fiancée's observation log of the self-proclaimed villainess #villainess

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everything-laito · 3 years

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hey,,, i've seen this controversial opinion about laito not being sexually assaulted by cordelia. . .as the only opinion of laito that matters, what are your thoughts on it? i know you've made some posts in the past about cordelia and laito's relationship, but i think that now would be a good time to i guess, remake a post or clarify your thoughts so people could follow along?? i hope you enjoy your day.

*proceeds to crack all my knuckles at once*

This isn't really my own "response" cuz oh boy I'm sick of this petty ass drama lmao. To begin, SKLDJF I'm very flattered that you hold my opinion in that high of regard! I'd say there's others that have interesting interpretations of him too though :) but again, thank you :') glad you enjoy what I have to say!

I know I've already kinda responded to this via a screenshot here, just to hold you––and others reading this––over. As much as this is a great time to talk about a how-to-analysis, I’ll still put that as a separate post eventually, but I still will go over the philosophy of truth and writings etc. But anyways, to answer your initial questions, they’re under the cut!

And no, I’m not specifically calling anyone out here. These are just issues with the fandom that I find as a whole, along with some extremists. Thus, I’m not going to be putting tags for people to easily find this post because I don’t want to be wound up in this drama––once again this is just more commentary on the fandom as a whole, which hopefully you can apply to people you find!

I have a lot of my own thoughts about Cordelia and Laito’s relationship here (just in case if people need it):

1. Goes over potential grooming of Laito, facts about Cordelia and what happened before she did stuff to Laito, and when did she rape Laito for the first time?

2. Stuff about incest and how any relationship out of a parental/child relationship is abuse even if it’s not penetrative sex, more incest stuff, and just more thoughts on their relationship

3. Neuroplasticity, trauma, Karlheinz, and isolation

4. What does sexual trauma look like? And some stuff on Laito’s facade

5. More stuff on his facade, and projection on Yui

6. My thoughts on Laito’s dark fate vampire ending + Conclusion

7. Answering some inbox stuff relating to Cordelia

Sure I realize I might be missing some stuff but that’s just my whole analysis on them. I’ll probably make some follow up posts eventually but I’m not sure when that will be.

But as for this analysis/ramble, I’ll divide it up into sections:

The issue of hypocrisy in the Dialovers fandom:

I- oh dear god. Ok, just saying, there’s a lot of people being like “oh I hate Cordelia because she was abusive” then ??? yo??? Why do you like the boys?? They’re abusive and we see more of them than Cordelia??? I just personally hate hypocrisy. However, it’s okay to hate Cordelia! It’s okay to love Cordelia! It’s okay to hate the boys and it’s okay to love the boys too. But recognizing that you don’t like one or the other just because “they’re abusive” is a fallacy at that point.

The reason why so many people hate Karlheinz/Cordelia/Beatrix/Christa/Richter (or at least start off hating them) is because they are written as the villains of the story! Karl’s the main villain, and the rest (including the diaboys and Yui) are kinda just tragically wound up in his plans. You sympathize more with the boys because you spend more time with them and watch them grow! It’s a whole “us vs them” situation. Since those people were awful to the boys/the boys hate them, you’re like “yeah they’re bad!” But the issue with the whole “us vs them” situation (as in real life) is that people tend to excuse the actions done by the “us” party.

Same thing goes with extreme Karl/Cordelia/Richter fans (I’ve never seen a hardcore Beatrix/Christa fan but they’re probably out there). Some hate the diaboys but love the people in that party. They’ve also done some shitty stuff too! Bro, even Yui has done some terrible stuff! But that’s because she was a product of the events she was thrown into––and same with everyone else.

Karl has been the mastermind of all this, and for me I don’t have any sympathy for him, mainly because we’re not shown anything to sympathize with (except that he just is tired of living but idk why he wants to create a whole new race like lmao science nerd ig, I feel that king). A lot of people like him for his looks, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing––he’s a fictional character, objectify these characters however you want. This is more of a personal opinion of mine though. And maybe people do just sympathize with his outlook on life, that’s totally fine.

But since these characters are all attractive in their own regard, they all get the treatment of “pretty-boy” syndrome (Idek if that’s the exact name for it). Which is just the privilege pretty people get. But again, this is fictional, so it’s not necessarily important in this case. Bro I got into DL cuz of “ooga booga hot vampires” and stayed for the complex lore and characters (especially one complex character, wonder who that could be). I imagine most people got into DL because of that, or out of sheer curiosity.

Ok, I’m throwing out a lot of points but not really connecting them. Lemme give you an example: I don’t like Reiji. His character doesn’t vibe with me most of the time aside from the fact that he’s hilarious. But I just am very neutral/neutral-negative on his character. But I’m not like “oh cuz he’s mean/abusive” cuz LOL EVERYONES MEAN IN THIS GAME. Sure you can still say that, it’s just not a very strong claim. Hypocritical claims tend to be like that. Same with a lot of Yui haters. In this case, they’re more jealous that she’s there and not them, which I’ve explained a lot in this post about toxic femininity and Yui in the fandom etc. But it’s ok to just not like a character! It’s alright! I know someone who just doesn’t vibe with Subaru. She doesn’t know why, she just doesn’t vibe with him. There’s no need to defend it either. But the use of hypocrisy is my main issue, and I’ll get to that in the next section.

(There’s a really good post explaining this too but I cannot find it for the life of me. I think it was made by @/abottleofkarlheinz or @/the-madame21)

How opinions of fictional universes left unchecked can effect real life:

I’ve said this a little bit in that Dialover PSA post I’ve made about Yui that I linked a couple paragraphs ago. But the reasons why people say they hate Yui is concerning. If you don’t like Yui, that’s totally fine! Again you don’t need reasons to hate on a character or defend it. But if you do choose to defend those characters, make sure what you’re saying isn’t out of some other place in your heart. Let me explain.

In that “Yui PSA” post I made, I say how your attitudes in being critical of a fictional universe usually does reflect on who you are as a person, at least when you’re making certain claims. In that Yui post, I say that the hatred on Yui is a result of the “other girl” mentality. On top of that, it erases her experience as a survivor. Yes, this is a fictional character, but bringing that into real life can have some dire consequences if you don’t differentiate them. If you have the same attitude of Yui with other survivors if the “abuser is hot” then thaaaaaat’s so fucked up.

For example, there’s people who have crushes on real life serial killers! That- that’s absolutely disgusting! Those real people killed living people and effected so many lives and families. Dude I have fictional crushes on fictional serial killers, and that’s different, because it is a removed universe. It’s why I can still call myself a lesbian but still have crushes on fictional male characters, for a further example (and vice versa! I have straight friends who crush on fictional characters of their same gender! But that doesn’t make them any less straight. And no, I’m not erasing bi people here either, just clarifying in case if you needed that).

Not being able to differentiate your opinions of a fictional universe can get very toxic. Like I love Laito, but I’m not like “omg I wish he was real so he could do that stuff to me uwu” like no!!! UH!!! I wouldn’t want to date anyone like him in real life! That’s literal abuse! And if Laito was here in real life it’s not a controlled environment, he’d literally be able to do anything with you, etc. That’s what makes a fantasy, a fantasy. They’re controlled.

Also vice versa, some people get really triggered by Dialovers, specifically Laito’s route. A lot of non-consensual acts that he does have been experienced by people in real life in any extent, myself included. For me, it’s a personal escape from that, because it is an environment where I am prepared for those events and can control my exposure to it. For some, they are reminded of the reality they had to experience. Fictional universes are inspired by real life, no matter what way you look at it. Real life people are making it, after all.

I feel like I’m going in so many circles, but trust me, I’m getting to the point.

I- I can’t explain this enough but it is most definitely implied that Cordelia had raped and sexually abused Laito. If it was explicit, DL would be an 18+ game, but they cannot do that in Japan. I’m not going to like defend this point because so many people (myself included) have defended this point. It’s implications carry over into Laito’s character and why he’s like this. He’s a textbook sexual abuse survivor. I just,,,, cannot explain this enough. Same thing with overwriting the abuse of Yui. They get jealous of Yui. Sure I’d say a good chunk of people have ravishment fantasies here. At least the 18+ people in the fandom who are into that stuff. But oh my dear god, ravishment fantasies are super super dangerous to enact in real life. It’s possible to do them, but it would take years of building up to that point in kink. That’s a whole other discussion though and I’m not incredibly comfortable talking about it knowing that minors read my blog (I’ll also have to say here: no minors in kink--its alright to educate yourself but pleaaaaaaaaaase don’t enact on any of those activities until you are of age, and even so that still can be dangerous right as you turn 18).

But anyways, saying that Yui should enjoy this because she’s experienced the ravishment fantasy you’ve dreamed of? Oh fucking hell, if you leave that opinion and mentality unchecked and it goes into real life, that’s incredibly awful. Abuse apologists are absolutely terrible people, almost as much as the abusers themselves.

If you twist the narrative that Laito loves Cordelia or Yui loves the boys at the end of the first game, that’s still––ughhhhhhhh. Especially when it’s so obvious that Laito has so many mental issues with Cordelia. His whole monologue and breakdown at the end of Dark Fate definitely tells us that he has had such an issue with Cordelia. And MB+ Laito is still Laito. As for Yui, dude she literally goes through stockholm syndrome in the first game like it is so goddamn apparent idek how to explain this at this point.

Ok dear god lmao wow, uh I think that’s answering the first couple of questions?

The philosophy of truth:

“Truth” has been an incredibly debated topic in philosophy for years. Truth is more of a subjective item rather than objective. Sure you can have personal objective truths, but they may not be the same truths for others. For example, a tomato is red. However, that tomato is red to me, because I am not color blind. A red-green color blind person may see the tomato as being brown or more muted in color. That’s their truth. They can’t really imagine what red is (ok depending on severity of their color blindness), considering they have not experienced the color red in the same way people who don’t have color blindness do. God uh, here’s a whole ass essay about truth, I’m cherry picking some of the things in there that are relevant to this.

Basically what I’m saying is, truth is very subjective. However, there are philosophers arguing a more objective truth. But that’s a whole other discussion. Also, this isn’t to support any political opinion, but I can use that as an example. Let’s go for well... The death penalty. I’m in America, we have the death penalty in some states. Yes, this is a very controversial topic, and no I’m not arguing the ethics of it here. Just hear me out.

If you live in Europe for example (except in Belarus and Russia––ok when I looked it up they consider Russia in Europe and technically it is but also there’s the whole chunk that is not- lmao even the truth of geography can be subjective), you might be like “yeah what the fuck are Americans doing?” (a common sentiment that I also share lmao). But yeah, what the fuck are we doing? Why is the death penalty still in existence? Yes, there’s statistics that prove that it doesn’t deter crime, but even crime rates is caused by a lot of different things too. Even statistics aren’t always accurate, because of many different factors. They’re not objective either, although good statisticians try their best to get good results and not skew the data. (please try to see where your data is coming from and who it is sponsored by––it matters a TON)

I’d say the closest thing we have as an objective truth to argue the death penalty or not is money. Money, although the concept is subjective, is a very objective currency. It’s why artists hate “exposure” compared to “money” as sole currency. The death penalty is very expensive, and not even used that often.

So, although money is currency made by us, and is technically 75% linen and 25% cotton (in America at least) with some funky dudes n numbers printed on it, it doesn’t sound that special. However, it would be considered as a baseline of some type of “objective truth” in ~society~ because people are typically on the same page of what money’s worth. Even so, this baseline of truth is still subjective! If Bill Gates accidentally has a $20 bill fall out of his pocket, that’s nothing to him! But if someone who’s working very hard to make ends meet loses that same amount of money, it could deal a lot of financial damage to that person.

Ok, hopefully you guys kind of get my drift. There are a lot of theories of truth, I’m just explaining one (honestly I forget the name of this theory) because it is the closest to the types of truth we are dealing with. And in this case, it’s called “canon.”

What the fuck is analysis:

The concept of “canon” is the objective truth that we have when analyzing universes. They’re our bread and butter of interpretation and extrapolation. The art of analysis clings to this notion of an objective truth. It needs a baseline. I’m going off of Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle, because that type of analysis I have the most experience with.

This is called rhetorical analysis. Rhetoric is the use of words in a persuasive fashion, and the analysis part is a breakdown of how words are used in order to achieve persuasiveness. I don’t typically use a lot of explicit rhetorical analysis in my personal writings, but I guess a version of it. Which typically has to deal with intention and execution. A lot of analysis on language has to do with this. Language is incredibly subjective. Certain words carry individual meanings to people. I have gone over the difference between real and lexical definitions before, and I’ll do it again.

I’ll just copy and paste what I’ve said before here from this analysis:

To put it simply, lexical definitions are the definitions you find in the dictionary. This is an “official” and “agreed upon” definition. Real definitions (quite a misleading name in my opinion) is the definition that’s more kind of “felt” in a way and how you internally interpret the word in context (these can be through individuals or any niche group). What I mean by this is that when you say a word (for example) to convey a feeling, you usually won’t know the dictionary definition off the top of your head. You say that something’s “savage” for example when you want to describe something violent or gruesomely awesome (it depends if it’s in a slang context or not) but there’s many lexical definitions (and outdated lexical definitions) of the term. But the first definition that usually comes up is “adj (of an animal or force of nature) fierce, violent, and uncontrolled.”

But people typically don’t think of the lexical definition when they learn what a word means; they usually learn the context of it and apply it as such. And that’s what a “real” definition is. Laito has a differing definition of what affection and love is, and that’s his own meaning and what it means to him.

I’ll even add another example to that too. The word “cunt” in english refers to a vagina. That’s just it. It’s lexically synonymous with “vagina,” “pussy,” etc. However, “cunt” has a subjective meaning to it. This is where “real” definitions also come into play. Many people view the word as vulgar and dirty. And that’s cuz we live in a ~society~ lmao. Our use of language has shaped what this word means in a context outside of the dictionary. I’ll do you one more. The Japanese word マンコ (manko) is also vulgar slang that’s kind of like our word “cunt/pussy.” Sometimes I say “cunt” for jokes, but I don’t use it that often to begin with since it’s just a very strong word to most (albeit it’s not that strong of a word for me). However, マンコ is a strong word to many Japanese people, but if I hear it even though I’ve been learning Japanese, it doesn’t have that same effect as hearing “cunt” for me is (which still, idc if I really hear it depending on context) because I haven’t been shaped in a culture that uses Japanese.

Even so, tone, intention, and context is HUGE in this. If someone called me a “useless fucking cunt” when they’re angry at me, I’d be close to crying. If someone told that to me as a joke, I’d be like “lol yeah you right, bitchass” and if someone said that in a consensual sexual context, it would certainly tickle my masochistic heart.

DSLKFJ also sorry if you don’t like hearing that word, I just had to utilize a strong example for this. But anyways, now let’s change the lens to Dialovers.

No, it never explicitly says that Cordelia rapes Laito. It doesn’t. However, there’s this WACKY thing called being able to infer, reading between the lines, and identifying implications. Those are kind of all the same things. However, indirect exposition is used a lot in effective creative writing. The utilization of this type of exposition is more preferred when writing a story, because direct exposition is kind of referred to as “info-dumping” when used excessively. Forgive my jargon: this is just showing vs telling as we’re taught in every writing class. I’m personally very bad at it, which is why I stick to writing these, and stick to reading creative fiction. (NOT SAYING IF YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT THIS TO NOT CONTINUE TO PRACTICE CREATIVE FICTION, I JUST DONT HAVE THE CURRENT MOTIVATION TO GET GOOD AT IT)

Dialovers uses a LOOOOOT of showing. And even so, its “showing” ability is very minimal considering the Japanese language can be vague on its own, it’s medium (visual novel) does not show a lot of things explicitly most of the time (and even when it is shown it doesn’t convey a lot). There’s several CGs of Laito and Yui where it doesn’t show the amount of pain or the dire situation Yui’s in, compared to what she’s saying she’s going through.

When I made my whole breakdown on Laito’s HDB route from Yui’s perspective, I got several comments about how they didn’t realize how bad his route really was. That’s either because people might not have experience with verbal abuse themselves, can’t exactly see Yui’s body language except her head (and even so, her expressions are limited), or don’t know a lot of gaslighting/verbal abuse techniques/have done research into it. Honestly verbal abuse is kind of hard to realize, so I’m not calling anyone dumb here. Despite me knowing a lot of the signs, I didn’t know I went through it––and even so I’ve denied it. And that’s what is so effective about this game though! Especially Laito’s route! Because you’re also sucked in with limited knowledge because you’re seeing this through Yui’s perspective, and on top of that it’s isolating. You can only make so many choices, and I feel like Dialovers is perfect as a visual novel. You get caught up with a lot of shock value things that Laito says, which serves as a perfect distraction for your first time through. But anyways, I’m getting off track.

For example, many people found his Maniac 07 chapter to be very confusing. I broke that one down here as well, and even so I was confused at first (also I was like 14/15, dear god). It tells you SO little, but you know that Laito’s incredibly upset at Richter for some reason, and even so, Yui comments on it a little too. Laito is shown to still hate Richter in DF, but he talks about it a tad more.

Here’s a further example from my writings in that first part of the Cordelia/Laito analysis series but I have bolded the terms I use to convey this rhetoric:

There hasn’t been any flashbacks that specifically show us the first time that happened. However, I believe that there was a flashback in HDB that shows one of the first times. Here’s a scene from Laito’s Dark Epilogue:

Cordelia: ー Laito…Laito… Laito: …Hm? Is something the matter? Cordelia: I have a favor to ask. It just isn’t enough. You can do it, right Laito? Laito: You really are something…So that’s why you came to me again? Cordelia: Fufufu…That’s right, Laito. Come on, quickly… Laito: …Guess it can’t be helped. I’ll love you plenty. Cordelia: Aah…My cute Laito~ I love you. I really do. Laito: I can do it…right? Cordelia: Of course, Laito. Now, quickly…

First of all, ew. Second of all, Laito’s diction implies that this was maybe the second or third time this occurred. He asks a question, and ends it with “again.” We know by this that it is not the first time, but the question also means that Laito might not have expected to occur again. His tone also implies some surprise to it, at least in my ears. His other question, “I can do it, right?” screams hesitance to me. If this scene took place down the line, or after many times he did this with Cordelia, I don’t believe he’d be some level of surprised or hesitance.

That’s what rhetorical analysis is. You take the contextual meaning of the words, the tone they use, and extrapolate what they imply. On top of this, we know that the term “love” here is sexual, implying that they did something sexual. We are not given the details of this, but considering we know that Laito uses “love” before he rapes Yui in the game, we can infer that’s what happened (or something similar) to himself with Cordelia, considering he projects on Yui quite a bit.

I was going to go over what is good/bad analysis, but I think I’ve implied it anyways here. Utilizing separate information from different sources of canon in order to make sense of something is good analysis. That’s our objective truth: canon. I’m not saying I’m the best at analysis, but I am fairly confident in it. It’s how I’m able to attempt to answer some of your “how would Laito react” questions without it being specifically hinted in the game. You cannot cherry pick specific sentences and go off of that alone for analysis. It’s context. It’s reading tone. It’s knowing the characters attitudes towards things, how they speak, etc. There’s a lot going into analysis in general. I know I didn’t elaborate on Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle right now, but that’s for another date I suppose.

Oh dear god I hope I didn’t lose you guys, I know this is a lot of information, but if you have any questions/comments/clarifications, as always, please let me know!

Hope you enjoyed! -Corn

#analysis #ask corn

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masonscig · 3 years

Text

first line tag game

thank you for the tag @crackerdumortain !!!!! yours were so much fun to read omg !!!!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some of your favourite authors!

[disclaimer: i write for the choices fandom and some for litg so you’ll see a mix of those fandoms on this list LMAO]

1. stay [twc – mason x sofía]

The first time was casual. She had a knack for musing her thoughts aloud, tossing her harmless opinions out for anyone who’d catch them.

She was good at starting conversations in that way – while he’d never been one for talking.

She never did it with heavy topics, though.

2. thieves in the shadows [choices – blades au – mal x zilyana]

bullets pelted the crates they were crouched behind, wood splintering in every direction. bodies were strewn across the warehouse, the unmistakable pools of blood streaking across the stone.

“raine! to your left!” immy yelled her way, barely sparing her a glance before unloading her clip, shell casings clinking against the ground.

the gun trembled in yana’s hands. she’d shot one before – practice at the gun range, glass bottles in a back alley – but never a live target.

3. if we meet again [choices – open heart au – bryce x spencer] 18+

year one

The ride from the airport to her parents’ home was long and grueling, the slushy ice pelting the windshield barely passing for snow.

It was practically sub-zero outside, a stark difference between the mid seventies weather she’d just left.

4. clandestine [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

“hey. hey wake up –”

she stirred at the greeting, but jumped when he kicked the desk. her face contorted into a grimace, the imprint of her tweed jacket on her cheek outlined in pink. “hmm?”

“you fell asleep again,” he said, plopping a bag in front of her.

5. undying [choices – blades – mal x zilyana]

Zilyana stirred, resituating herself against Mal’s bare chest, feeling his arm instinctively tighten around her shoulders. When she realized she was missing the sound of his deep breathing, accompanied with an occasional soft snore, she cracked an eye open to see his chin tipped upwards, his gaze trained on the ceiling.

6. talent show [choices – platinum – shane x dom]

There wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t cross his mind. Even since they were kids.

He admired so much about her – her fiery spirit, her drive, her unwavering tenacity.

And he’d been in love with Dom for as long as he could remember.

7. redeemed [choices – platinum – raleigh x dom]

As soon as he stepped off stage, he was shuffled to his tour bus, Fiona on his heels. She looked like the human embodiment of rage in a grey blazer, a look in her eye that made him thankful he wasn’t the one it was directed at – or at least he hoped he wasn’t the reason she was two seconds away from a murderous rampage.

8. hidden [choices – foreign affairs – blaine x carina] 18+

Her cheek slipped out of the palm of her hand, forehead smacking the desk, nearly jumping out of her skin at the abrupt awakening.

“Ow.”

She prodded the tender spot on her face, thankful her foundation was thick.

A soft snore caught her attention – next to her, Blaine was passed out. Leaning back in his chair, his head was thrown back, arms crossed against his chest, the textbook on its face in his lap.

9. is this fate? [litg au – bobby x mc] 18+

The peroxide was cold when it hit her skin, the liquid bubbling on her knee, relentlessly stinging. She sucked in a breath through gritted teeth.

“Sorry… should be over soon,” he murmured, wiping up the stray liquid that streamed down her leg with a small rag.

The heaviness of the atmosphere between them was almost too much to bear – they’d barely spoken since he helped her onto the counter in his small office, leg propped up between his own, where he sat in his desk chair.

10. asvista cove [litg college au – bobby x elena]

Bobby’s thumb flicked the lighter repeatedly until he got a consistent flame, moving slowly from left to right over the edge of the blunt. His cheeks hollowed out as he sucked in, the tip of it an auburn ember. He pulled it out of his mouth and sucked in an even deeper breath, holding it.

When he blew out the thick cloud of smoke, he passed it to her, coughing under his breath. “Whew. Your turn.”

She followed suit, the thick smoke coating the inside of her lungs, bitter and heavy. She exhaled, the shroud smoke enveloping her view of the sealine.

11. reticent [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

She was bare.

Bare in the way that one is when they’ve been stripped down and torn apart with a trained gaze just calculating enough for them to feel seen – parts of her she didn’t know she’d hidden splayed out like withered pages of a book, dog-eared and marked up like a frequently reread novel.

One he’d reread because it was familiar, because it had fallen into his lap (he hadn’t searched for it), not so much because it was his favorite.

12. more [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

He laced his fingers through her thick hair, reveling in the way his skin looked contrasted against the midnight of her hair.

[the way i can’t post more than this bc it’s....... very nsfw right out the bat LMFAO]

13. calm before the storm [choices – open heart – bryce x spencer]

Since the moment his hands trembled amidst one of the most important surgeries of his life, Bryce was holding on by a thread.

With each half-assed joke he cracked, each wavering smile, each time he tried convincing others – including himself – that he was coping, he fell apart more and more.

The first night he went home after Spencer was quarantined, he trudged through the halls of Edenbrook, like he was dragging his legs through wet concrete. He was nearly magnetized to her bedside, not wanting to leave, but he needed to rest – he’d been awake for nearly a day and a half by the time he clocked out.

14. envy | part two of the attached series [twc – mason x sofía x felix]

He strode down the hallway, hands in his pockets to give the illusion that he didn’t give a shit, when he was most definitely on edge. His fingers flicked his lighter open and closed against the twill lining of his pockets, trying to focus on the soft clicking noise it made instead of the swarm of thoughts clouding his conscience.

He still couldn’t figure out why he cared so much.

15. comfort | part one of the attached series [twc – mason x sofía x felix]

He noticed it before she did.

Her pulse didn’t jump the same way it did the first dozen times he walked into the room. The blood didn’t rush to her cheeks, or creep up her neck, the crimson flush absent even when he tried his hardest to fluster her. And it normally took next to nothing to get her to turn into a bumbling mess.

16. out of time [choices – open heart – sienna x danny]

She sprinted down the hallway, pager still beeping erratically on her hip, the weight of the numbers enough to make her feel like she was slugging through wet concrete.

No, no, not him, please, not him, she chanted to herself, vision blurring with tears before she had the chance to let the negative possibilities set in.

17. unrequited part three [choices – open heart – bryce x spencer]

She slumped into the seat in the deserted waiting room, her joints popping as she stretched, her deep sigh echoing off of the tile. She was exhausted.

She could usually push through the worst of her shifts, but fatigue settled into her bones, a lethargy she’d never experienced entrapping her like a net, and she couldn’t fight her way out of it this time.

18. signs [choices – ride or die – logan x raquel]

“A final in sign language? Couldn’t you just have a conversation with the teacher or some shit?” Logan sat across from her on the couch, watching as her fingers bent and flexed, transfixed.

She stopped abruptly, screwing her mouth to the side in concentration. She repeated the same few moves, getting more and more frustrated with each sequence.

19. mementos [choices – ride or die – logan x raquel]

The sound of his boots slapping against the damp pavement reverberated off of the brick of the alleyways, his gasping breaths adding to the symphony that was his escape.

20. warmth [twc – mason x sofía]

“You’re going the wrong way,” Mason grunted, looking particularly stiff in her passenger seat.

“I thought we could take the scenic route,” she shrugged, flicking her high beams on as she turned off of the main road leading downtown, easing on the brakes when the tires hit the gravel.

okay so....... i didn’t really realize just HOW MUCH i’ve written since the summer? i’ve fallen into a pattern where i think i’m a failure bc of how slow i am to write because i have so many series i’ve started and dropped off and wips i’ve abandoned but.... i’ve managed to write for most appreciation weeks i’ve both hosted/participated in and i’ve written for THREE fandoms.... i don’t normally gas myself up but? i’m really? proud of myself? KSJDJKSD if you read this far thank you and you’re prob watching me have a breakdown over how much i’ve managed to write oh my GOD ok i need to lie down KLSDFKASFJD i didn’t even think i could hit 20 but i did???? alright i’m officially gonna treat myself at some point bc i did all this in less than a year.... these are from the end of july 2020 to now..... wow ok im done i promise SKDFJKSDF

tagging: @raleighcarrera and @pixeljazzy !!! <3

#tag games #my fic #long post

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redbeanboi · 4 years

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hello juno!! i hope youre having a good day! may i request mista and his s/o both wanting to have kid(s) and how their dynamic goes as spouses and then as parents if thats ok?

hello my unnamed friend! I’m having a pretty okay day. hope you’re doing well in these trying times! your wish is my command—

Mista and S/O as spouses… and parents!!

Mista leans really far into that Italian stereotype of family being very important. It may not be on the forefront of his mind 24/7 but he does want a family—spouse, kids, the whole shebang!

He’s very aware of the fact that his line of work is very dangerous, so he doesn’t even think about bringing it up until he’s sure that you want the same thing. It’d be unfair for him to ask so much of you when he’s not entirely sure of what might happen to him in the future. But once he knows that you want kids too, he’ll be ready. Mista isn’t the kind to half-ass anything, so expect him to be 100% on board, all hands on deck when the time has come.

Now this is going to sound weird, but I think Mista would be traditional in the sense that he’d want to be married to you before having children. He wants a pretty moderately sized wedding, with about 100 of your closest friends and family attending. Mista, being a big believer of fate, is probably somewhat religious and would want to have a religious ceremony.

Also! Considering his position in one of the most powerful criminal organizations, Mista is pretty loaded. He spends a lot on his regular getup, so you can bet that he’ll get himself a really nice tux for the event. Will gladly set aside a lot of his money for the wedding’s budget. If you want to wear a designer tux? He’s got you? Want to wear a beautiful wedding gown? You’ve got it babe—Mista wants you to feel like royalty on your special day. He’s so happy you want to get married and start a family so he’s ready to spend it all on you. Just make sure he doesn’t get too carried away.

The food is also important. Expect him to get a menu all set for the reception. Four courses, baby!! The Italian way. Got your antipasti, primi, secondi, and dolce. Mista loves food and he has good taste. Leave it to him and the Sex Pistols.

And yes. You decide to adopt the whole cake cutting/feeding custom from the Americans… and you will most definitely be feeding cake to Mista as well as the Sex Pistols. Just go with it. hehe

Smashing a vase is a really big custom (according to tradition, however many pieces the glassware breaks into will symbolize how many years the couple will be happily married), and Mista’s really superstitious, so he insists that you both follow that custom and do it at some point during the ceremony. Vase breaks and—would you look at that!!

Giorno and Bruno count about 98 pieces total. Mista’s smiling ear to ear.

Anyway let’s skip the honeymoon and get straight to married life!!

Mista doesn’t know how to cook, but he wants to learn so he can help you. At the very least, he’ll brush up on knife skills so he can chop the vegetables for you. Always insists that you make enough for about 3 people because his stand needs to eat.

Maybe it’s all those years of living on his own and having a job that sends him home every night with some kind of bruise or wound (or just straight up blood from someone he had to pummel), but Mista’s very very good at doing his laundry. Knows how to get just about any kind of stain out, and is very particular about how his (very expensive) clothes are cleaned.

if you’re working full-time, he’ll make sure to split the chores with you so you can have time to relax. Usually likes vacuuming and dusting surfaces. Is very good at keeping things pretty organized.

If you’re staying at home (which you are totally welcome to do, because he has enough money to support you both), he will still insist on taking some of the chores off of your list so you can relax !! He wants you to feel pampered and everything.

He loves climbing into bed every night and cuddles with you before passing out. God he’s a cuddler. Expect to be held all throughout the night, especially because Mista is just so in love with you, and married life is just the best! He’s happy to be with someone like you.

You usually give in to Mista’s tenderheartedness, and have breakfast ready for him every morning before he goes to work. Mista likes to get his beauty sleep though and wakes up late, so you always have a pastry and some espresso ready for him. He’ll cram it down his throat and wash it down with a double shot of espresso before giving you a kiss and running off to work.

It’s like this in your apartment for several months until !! Mista proposes that you guys get a nice apartment closer to Giorno’s place (mostly because he wants to laze around in bed a little longer for…. you know what). And he thinks it’s time he got you a place fit for royalty! So you both settle on this really nice apartment in the Chiaia district, close to the Piazza Amedeo station. The location’s perfect because it’s cut his commute by like ten minutes and now he can spend his mornings with you.

so several months after you’re moved in…. you finally pop the question. And Mista doesn’t say much because he’s absolutely floored. He’s been wanting this for so long! And he asks you questions. Are you sure about this? Do you think he’ll be a good dad? Will the kids like him? What if they hate him!

And once you and Mista have talked about it plenty, you finally decide to have children.

If you’re adopting, then you have to go through a lot of pesky paperwork because there’s surprisingly a lot of laws in regard to adoption in Italy. You’ll obviously get approved though, because you’re decent people. And if there’s something off in your records that’s holding things off a little bit, then well. Let’s just say that Mista’s boss is able to pull a string or two **wink wink**

If you’re having your own kids or if you want to carry the kids yourself then Mista, being the pervert that I suspect he is, will be enthusiastic about doing his part.

Oh he’s dedicated. Every day of the goddamn week until that test comes out positive.

Pregnancy (if you go this route) goes just fine and Mista is determined to be there every step of the way. He makes sure to tell Giorno that family is important and he wants to be there for his spouse at every doctor’s appointment and will need a more flexible schedule, and Giorno being the way that he is, is actually fine with this (might have something to do with him wanting a family of his own, but who knows?).

The baby is born !! Ahh!! Mista thinks names are important so you’ll spend a lot of time picking names

Honestly anything goes here, so whichever name you pick for your baby, is what we’re going with for now (I might pick one if someone wants a Papa!Mista fic eventually, but yeah)!

Mista is a great dad!! He’s always been a great caretaker for the pistols, but as a parent he goes above and beyond. He was born to do this.

Very flexible, go-with-the-flow; always able to make any adjustments for unexpected changes and such in the schedule or just life in general. He’s spontaneous, which your children will absolutely love, and he’s very big on communication. Sometimes wavers between blunt and tactful, but he always gets his message across to his kids clear as day, and makes sure they know what he expects of them so that no one gets hurt and that they’re all on the same page!

He really encourages his kids to be independent and take risks (though he’s not the greatest role model considering all the scraps he gets into) and overall gets a kick out of seeing his kids grow up. He’s a proud papa.

As the other parent, you’re the one picking up where Guido isn’t so strong, which is setting a healthy routine (important for kids!! don’t underestimate its value in a child’s life!!!), making sure they get their homework done and getting everyone together at the end of the day for dinner and also scheduling your family outings.

Mista is the dad who likes to get his kids gifts on random occasions (and “just ‘cuz”) and taking his kids on adventures they’ll never forget (like going to the gelateria on the way home from school).

Mista is the dad who loves to roughhouse his kids. Expect pieces of furniture and small antiques to be broken as a result of a game of tag, wrestling, or just a plain old tickle-fight. If it’s something important, like a really old vase that was handed down in your family, Mista will bravely accept the punishment of being chewed out by you in rapid-fire Italian while the kids find a hiding spot.

Mista loves sitting with the kids in their room at night when you’re reading a story to them. Sometimes he’ll fall asleep too. If he does, just shove him and tell him to get up so you can both sleep in your bed.

Sometimes he’ll ask you to sing them a lullaby and pester you with them if it means he can hear you sing. Moments like these make him realize how lucky he was to not only make it out of Giorno’s adventure alive, but also be able to meet you and fall in love and have a family with you.

—–

A/N: Ah !! This took me a while, I’m so sorry! But thank you for sending this in. I love Mista so so much and he’d be such a good boyfriend, an even better husband, and an amazing papa. Someone offer themselves up to give Guido a big and happy Italian family PRONTO. Thank you for sending this request in !! AHH. Mista!! Sweet sweet boy.

also i’m sorry i got pretty carried away. If you want to see more on the honeymoon/pregnancy stages, let me know !! I wanted to skip those and get to the important parts of the request. :) xx

#guido mista x reader #papa!mista #oh papa mista is precious #i love him #jjba #vento aureo #hc reqs

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some-creep · 4 years

Text

CREEP RANKS EVERY SONG IN NIER... AUTOMATA (mostly) BY TITLE

Because, like, no one played Gestalt. Also this game has more songs.

Significance Like. I guess. It’s a title you can use. What is significant? We don’t know. The characters don’t know. They are struggling to find out. We all are. What is meaning? What really matters? I don’t know but we’re all crying. 8/10

City Ruins – Rays of Light / Shade Plays in the ruins of the city. Exactly as advertised. Sounds sad like you might imagine. 9/10

Peaceful Sleep This is the Resistance camp right? Peaceful things don’t tend to happen there honestly. At least not as we keep going. Sounds like a sleepy JRPG town though. Ok title for the mood it gives. I like this song a lot so I’m cheating and giving it more points than I know it deserves as just, like, a title. 8/10

Memories of Dust Sand is dusty. What memories? We’re making them. Cool title. Sounds like a YA novel though. 9/10

Birth of a Wish Genuinely often get confused with the Silent Hill 2 bonus story Born from a Wish whenever I try to remember what this song is called. This Cannot Continue / 10

The Color of Depression This is like… a really cool title. Thanks. That Scanner boy is not gonna live the happy family life you all for some reason keep suggesting he is. Bad things are gonna happen to him. He dies anyway. 11/10

Amusement Park Yeah. I guess. We certainly are in the amusement park level. Creep why does this one rank so much lower than City Ruins which was also just “name of location”. Amusement park is not a cool title. City Ruins is a cool title. 7/10

A Beautiful Song Would you say Simone has girlpower? Would you say Simone successfully used her girlpower to kill and consume countless androids and also turn them into near lifeless weapons and body jewelry? 9/10

Voice of No Return Sad title. Sad song. Exactly as advertised once again. I feel sad listening to the Automata OST most of the time. Is this quest complete in the camp? I think so. Anyway it’s really sad. I love to cry. 11/10

Grandma – Destruction Um so this is like. Genuinely a horrible title. It reminds me of the title of a darkweb video which I will say no more on. This song is REALLY good its a shame this title is so… uh. Bad. It’s just bad. 1/10

Faltering Prayer – Dawn Breeze / Starry Sky This is another really cool title. This game is about like… life after god. I’m not here to get thematic. I say in a list entirely about if the song fits the theme. Anyway this is a cool title. The song again… sounds sad. One of them is a music box which I love. Cheating again. 10/10

Emil’s Shop EVERY DAY’S A SALE. EVERY SALE’S A WIN. 12/10!!

Treasured Times The fact this plays after Emil’s shop on the OST is the biggest tonal whiplash in the world. This song makes me feel an emotion I cannot describe. It’s something like sadness but not quite. This isn’t a review of the songs, just the title. But reading the title makes me feel that emotion too but stronger when I think about it. I don’t know. 9/10

Vague Hope – Cold Rain / Spring Rain Good title… Thematically very appropriate. Not COOL like some of the others but it feels right feels canon. I like it. It’s just the city ruins quest complete song but it also plays in one of the fucking… DLC fights. That makes me extra sad. 10/10

End of the Unknown Which unknown was ended. Genuinely think when this plays I had more unknowns than knowns. This song sounds like every song from the Gestalt DLC. 6/10.

Pascal At least Automata has far fewer “named after a character” songs. They just have named after a place songs. I love Pascal so if I give this a low score he might be upset. 8/10

Forest Kingdom It really… the forest huh. Random but one of the songs in Code Vein does a vocal thing that always reminds me of this song for some reason. That has nothing to do with this game or this songs title at all I just wanted to tell you. Long Live The Forest King / 10

Dark Colossus – Kaiju This song is also in Gestalt. It’s cooler here. More stakes. Song title suggests less stakes though? That’s kinda weird. Because of this it loses points. I’m sorry. 7/10

Copied City Dude I left this one off the list when I first typed it out lol. Someone not to @ anyone told me this was based on Nier’s village. Lie to me again. I don’t know what City is being Copied. One of them. It reminds me more of the Cathedral City from DoD3. Which is a bad horrible game that I completed 100%. 8/10

Wretched Weaponry Not to be confused with Wretched Automatons. Is this like, a remix? My ears don’t work so I don’t know. Don’t inform me because I love being stupid. Anyway, in the narrative it makes sense. It’s a good, cool title. Song is softer than the title would suggest. 9/10

Possessed by Disease COOL SONG TITLE. Thank you. This plays… somewhere. Uh. Hm. I’ve 100% completed this game like three times. 9/10

Broken Heart You think you’re gonna hear a sad song? SURPRISE. Sinister as hellllll. Subverted expectations baby. MCU take notes. I’ve never seen a movie in the MCU. Loving the dark tones in this. Broken heart but the emotion isn’t just sad. GOOD STUFF. 10/10

Mourning Again. You think it’s gonna be sad? But BOOM. It isn’t. I mean it still is, but in a dark way. These aren’t song reviews. These are title reviews. But if a title suggests one thing and delivers another that’s still a valid point right? I don’t know. Hey wait isn’t this just Shadowlord’s Castle? Yonah / 10

Dependent Weakling Well, it’s no Song of the Ancients – Fate, but it’ll do. In all seriousness, this is like, a great song title for Eve’s boss battle. Y’know, because he relied so heavily on Adam and all’a that. Maybe a little on the nose. Maybe a little rude. Eve sucks / 10

Rebirth & Hope Sounds hopeful. Plays during ending A where we see a Rebirth cos 9S super doesn’t die. This song is literally 30 seconds long why am I even bothering. Oh, right, because it’s on the OST at all. 30 second songs / 10

War & War Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, this is the war room. It… sounds like a war room song. A preparing for a big battle song. Once again, exactly as advertised. Plays before a big battle. It really thematic naming! Peace was never an option. 8/10

Crumbling Lies Words cannot express how much I adore this song. First of all, title is on point. It’s the song that plays when you get to Route C. Literally the moment I fell in love with the game. The Bunker is destroyed, which, again… maybe it’s a bit on the nose. I don’t care. This is the perfect song title to the perfect song. I will die on this hill. 12/10

Widespread Illness Red Eye except it’s robots now. Very thematically appropriate. Everyone is dying. There’s nothing you can do to cure it except kill them. They’re incredibly infectious. Zombie Virus but with Robots. Can you tell I don’t remember what it’s called? I’m writing this at 1am and I’ve decided it’s funnier if I don’t look anything up. Sounds very somber… I like it. 9/10

Fortress of Lies Not to be dramatic but when I read this English title I was like MMMMMMMNNN because like. I get it. It plays in the Bunker. Which… is built on lies. Again. Incredibly on the nose but when I learned what the song was called I just fucking DIED the first time. I’m stupid. I don’t care. 11/10

Song of the Ancients – Atonement Another song I died when I learned the title of. Devola and Popola in that game have nothing to atone for. They are atoning for sing they did not commit. Punished for the crimes of another set of Androids, possibly thousands of miles away. It’s not fair. They have nothing to atone for. They’ve done nothing wrong. 12/10 crying creeps.

Blissful Death FUCK. This one plays in the Devola and Popola like. Text Adventure part. Which is just. I love it so much. No one dies in that though. Well… maybe someone does. It’s not impossible that Popola hurt someone. It’s suggested that, maaaaybe she did. No one stops. No one Stops.

Emil – Despair Emil’s life has quite literally only been despair. Please don’t bully him with your song titles like this… 9/10

Alien Manifestation Vintage meme of that guy from the history channel with the impact font that just says Aliens. This game has aliens, I will give you that. They’re all dead though. I guess the machines are aliens but. Eh. Wait doesn’t this play in the castle? There aren’t even aliens there what the fuck. 5/10

The Tower There’s a tower. This plays there. Thank you. Also the name of a tarot card I think? That could be cool if I knew a single goddamn thing about tarot cards. I don’t. 6/10

Bipolar Nightmare Cool flying section. Has anyone found Grun skip yet? Because the bounty for that was like. A lot of money. Vaguely a cool song title. I kinda like it. Although for some reason it reminds me of The Evil Within’s Japanese title, Psychobreak. So I think I like it less because of that. Not the worst title, but maybe the lowest of the COOL EDGY song titles. Fucking love the piano part in this one though. 7/10

The Sound of the End Really super cool and sexy song title. 2B is going to die but she can’t let anyone else get hurt because of it. She’s already done so much damage. This song is really dramatic sounding. The title is dramatic. Love this one a lot. The actual playable segment is kind of a struggle. But I think that’s the point… 10/10

Weight of the World / End of YoRHa I once got into an internet fight because I said this song is about every character except 9S because of the line “I’m only one girl”. I was corrected that the Japanese version is basically EXCLUSIVELY about 9S. None of this is relevant at all I just wanted to remember it. I still do not like 9S. Thematically a brilliant title. Everyone feels like they must do so much… but you cannot bear the weight of the world alone. Ending E legitimately makes me cry. Whenever I think about the messages from other players supporting me? It’s a lot. What the fuck. 12/10

#nier #nier automata #long post #creep ranks

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eilonwiiy · 4 years

Text

Bookends ; A Witchlands AU

Chapter 9

An innocent trip to the library takes an unexpected turn.

Summary: Iseult det Midenzi never expected to go to a top university, so when her mother falls ill and she is forced to drop out to make ends meet, life has never seemed so unfair. But when she starts working at the local library and is unexpectedly assigned in the Children’s Room, a certain monosyllabic man and his thrice-damned demon child start showing up and Iseult begins to wonder if the threads of fate have a plan for her after all.

Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Ships: Iseult/Aeduan, Safi/Merik, and more… stay tuned!

Tags: modern AU, college setting, family, friendship, humor, fluff, slow-burn, romance, eventual smut

Read on AO3: here

Tag list: (please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @lseultdetmidenzi @twilightlegacy13

* . * . * . * .

When Iseult woke up the next morning, she thought maybe she had dreamed the previous night. But no. Aeduan had texted her. Twice. First, with an all too unsatisfying Ok while she was still at work. Then, again a whole hour later as she was getting ready for bed telling her that he’d be coming to the library tomorrow. Which was now today. The gap between texts - the “lost hour” as Iseult was now referring to it - was doing an exemplary job of keeping her busy. She thought about it all through her shower. While brushing her teeth. There was a brief pause while she picked out an outfit (sweater, suede skirt, ballet flats), but then it was right back to obsessing over those missing 60 minutes.

What had happened to cause Aeduan to go from monosyllabic man to someone with a firm grasp of the English language? Had it been a full moon?

The ruckus of the usual morning hustle and bustle could be heard from Jitters as Iseult descended the stairs, coat already on and a messenger bag slung over her shoulder. When she brushed through the divider curtain, the sight that met her brought her to a full stop.

“Wow. Someone woke up in project mode,” she said, taking in Safi - awake and fully dressed on her morning off - and the stacks of books and magazines spread across multiple tables pushed together.

“Yes,” Safi agreed, looking proud. “I thought I’d finally try turning that weird corner no one likes to sit in into that book nook we’ve always talked about.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

Iseult stared at Safi, expression flat.

“Safi?”

“Hm?” she replied, flipping breezily through a page in her magazine.

“What are you doing?”

Safi didn’t look up. “I told you. I’m making the book nook.”

“Yeah, I heard you the first time. But see, it’s 8:30 in the morning.”

“And?”

“And,” Iseult continued, slowly approaching her mini fortress of books, “there’s a perfectly useful bed upstairs wondering where you are.”

“Well, tell it it might get lucky and see me tonight.”

“Safi,” Iseult said bluntly.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing? And if you say ‘book nook’ one more time I’ll kill you.”

Safi said nothing.

“Spill,” Iseult ordered.

Safi sighed and made a face. “Is it so hard to believe that I actually wanted to do a good thing and get moving on this project that you’ve been talking my ear off about for months?”

“It is when it’s 8:30 on your morning off.” Iseult eyed the nearly full mug of coffee on the table. “Is that your first cup of coffee?”

“Maybe.” Safi’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Why?”

“Nothing. Just a concerned citizen, that’s all.” Iseult pulled up a chair and lowered herself onto the seat, clapping her hands on her knees. “Look, as tempting as the prospect of playing 20 Questions with you this early in the morning without caffeine in my system is, can we maybe skip to the end of this conversation where you tell me the truth about why you’re really up so I’m not late for work?”

Safi pursed her lips like she didn’t want to talk. Then, she grabbed a massive tome off the top of one of the piles and held it up in the air.

“I tripped over this.”

“Ok…” Iseult said slowly, eyeing the book. “Are you okay?”

“Physically, yes. Spiritually? That remains to be seen.”

Iseult sighed. “Safi, did you miss the part where I said I don’t want to be late for work?”

Safi let the book drop from her hand with an obnoxious thud that shook the table.

“As you know, I worked until close at The Cleaved Man last night. When I got home at 1 o’clock, per usual, I tripped and fell over this,” she said, giving the offending book a scathing look.

The smallest of frowns formed on Iseult’s otherwise smooth face. “How is that even possible? That’s my freshmen geology textbook. I’m not exactly reading up on pyrite in my spare time.”

“Oh, well, I knocked into the bookshelf while I was fumbling through the dark trying to find the light switch.”

“So really you tripped over the bookshelf.”

Safi gawped at Iseult. “You’re not taking this seriously.”

“I would if I knew what the heck this has to do with you waking up and deciding today’s the day you’re going to be a carpenter!”

“That apartment is too small!” Safi burst, gesticulating wildly to the ceiling above.

“Safi,” shushed Iseult, glancing around at the early bird customers who were now looking curiously at them.

“No! That place is too small and I’m so tired of barely having enough room to breathe let alone walk through the door without having to map out some sort of detour route to avoid collision!” She shook her head. “The books had to go!”

Iseult grabbed for Safi’s hand before she could point a rude gesture at the ceiling and covered it with her own. “Look I know we got our hopes up for the apartment,” Iseult said, careful to leave out Chiseled Cheater’s name or supervillain moniker, “but you need to let this go.”

“I don’t want to,” pouted Safi, pronouncing each word defiantly.

“I know. But you’re driving yourself crazy and me by extension.” She paused. “Our shoebox does have its perks.”

“Like?” The word dripped with incredulity.

“Like,” Iseult ventured, “we don’t have to walk far to get to work. We can even open the bakery in our pajamas.”

Safi’s face remained unchanging. Iseult went on.

“We don’t have to deal with some seedy landlord.”

Nothing.

“Late snacks are a flight of stairs away.”

Still nothing.

“And there’s always an endless supply of free coffee on hand.”

“Except for that time we forgot to place the order and we went a whole three days having to tell customers we didn’t have coffee,” Safi pointed out.

Iseult shuddered from the memory. “I thought Mathew and Habim were going to kick us out.”

“Maybe they’d have done us a favor if they had,” Safi muttered.

Iseult made a face at her and, for a moment, they held each other’s gaze. Then, finally, she folded.

“I’m sorry,” Safi moaned, flopping back in her chair and looking at the stacks of books dejectedly. “It just kills me that he’s living in our dream apartment while we’re stuck smelling like coffee for the rest of our lives.”

“It won’t be for the rest of our lives. And besides,” Iseult added as an afterthought, “think of how much money we save living here. I doubt I would have been able to afford that place now anyway.”

From the way Safi immediately sobered, Iseult knew she had driven the point home. After all, it wasn’t Safi who couldn’t afford to live wherever she wanted. She could leave their shoebox apartment anytime she wanted. But she stayed for Iseult.

Iseult fiddled with her hands and dropped her gaze, not wanting to look at the somber expression on Safi’s face. She almost looked ashamed.

“I’m sorry,” Safi apologized again. She waved to the piles of books. “Obviously, I lost my mind.”

“Does this mean you’re not going to build the book nook?”

Safi’s expression stiffened and Iseult saw a flicker of hesitation in her eyes.

“No, I’m going to do it,” she eventually said, sounding resigned to the prospect, but determined. “You’ve been bugging me about it long enough.”

“You said you liked the idea!”

“Yeah, but that was before I ordered those damned bookshelves,” argued Safi, nodding to the back office. “Honestly, those assembly instructions are in a different language. How can they expect the average person to put them together without a contractor?”

“Or an interpreter.”

“Exactly. It’s all a bunch of gibberish made to con you into hiring a professional to assemble it for you. It’s a money making scam.”

They sat in silence for a moment, Safi stewing. Iseult side-eyed Safi. She didn’t want to break the happy truce they had just struck, but...

“You know who would be great at putting together those shelves?” she asked. “The C-word.”

Safi gave a most unlady-like snort of disbelief. “Cam can barely hold an entire tray of cookies without toppling over let alone a plank of wood.”

“I’m not talking about Cam and you know it.”

Safi shot her a piercing look. “I am not calling Caden.” She paused. “I’ll call Leopold.”

“For what?” Iseult laughed. “Moral support?”

“Hey, your boyfriend’s more handy than you think.”

Iseult’s stomach flipped. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

Safi rolled her eyes in exasperation. “You’re right. He’s not, but he could be! If you would stop avoiding him.”

Iseult’s stomach vaulted again, but this time for an entirely different reason. “Did he say that?” she asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

“That you’re avoiding him? No, but I can tell by the way he asks about you.” Safi studied Iseult for a moment. “Do you like him?”

“I…” Iseult didn't know what to say. She didn’t know what she felt. While she had spent a good deal of time telling herself that Leopold’s flirtatious advances towards her were a figment of her imagination - I mean, look at the guy. He basically waltzed right out of a Disney movie - she knew in her gut that they were real. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about what it would be like to date him. To kiss him. Would she burst into a puff of smoke when his lips touched hers and reappear a beautiful princess? It all seemed so ridiculous to her. They were like night and day. But even so, there was no denying that they shared a bond. She trusted him. With him, she felt safe.

With that thought in mind, she ended lamely, “I don’t know.”

Safi nodded, eyes soft and understanding. “That’s fair… Maybe seeing him tonight will help,” she said encouragingly.

Right. Tonight. Vaness’ little shindig. Iseult hadn’t exactly been crossing off the days on her calendar in anticipation.

Safi’s face went serious again. She hesitated. “Hey, so Alma called while you were in the shower.”

Shit. “She did?” Iseult asked, trying to keep her voice light. It wasn’t like this was the third time Alma had called this week and she hadn’t gotten back to her or anything.

“Yeah. I picked up…” said Safi, sounding apologetic. “I figured it could be about something important.”

“I’m assuming if you’re just telling me now that it wasn’t?”

Safi shook her head. “No. Just asked if you could call her back.”

“Ok… Thanks. I will.” Iseult swallowed the lie and let her eyes wander to the mess around them. “I take it this means you’re not reading the book for the book club?” She picked up a copy of Sisters of Sight from the top of one of the nearby stacks.

“No,” Safi was quick to say, snatching the book away from Iseult and holding it to her chest possessively. “I added that to the pile by mistake.”

“Of course,” Iseult said without much confidence. Sierra, one of the baristas working the morning shift, came over and offered a steaming to-go cup of coffee and a paper bag that, judging by the heavenly smell, was her favorite cinnamon crunch bagel.

“Such service” she commended, taking them from Sierra and thanking her.

“This place ain’t half-bad,” Safi chimed in, watching with approval.

“Not half-bad at all,” Iseult agreed, then took a sip of her coffee. She made a face as she swallowed. “Well, the coffee definitely falls into the half-bad category. Real Marstoki coffee my you-know-what,” she grumbled under her breath.

“You can say ‘ass’ in front of me,” Safi goaded, smirking. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Iseult shook her head and stood up from her chair. She was officially running late now. “Well, thank you for an eventful morning. Your neuroses never fail to entertain. I’m only working a half-shift, so I’ll be back this afternoon. Try to be nice to Cam before I get here,” she added with what she hoped was a convincingly stern look.

“Remind me again why we hired him?” Safi asked, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

“Because we’re all about helping the little guy,” answered Iseult as she wrapped her scarf around her neck.

“I didn’t realize we meant that literally.”

“You know what I mean.”

“You broke our no high schoolers policy. I hate high schoolers.”

“Cam’s different.”

“He has no work experience.”

“Everyone has to get their start somewhere. We didn’t exactly have much work experience when Mathew and Habim hired us. Besides,” Iseult added, looking around and gesturing to the cafe, “this isn’t exactly a high-stakes operation. I think Cam can handle pouring coffee. Just be patient. Not everyone learns at the same pace.” She tugged on her beret cap and picked up her coffee and bagel. “Well, I can’t wait to see you and the book nook when I get back.”

Safi’s face tightened and her smile froze in place. “Me too,” she said as one of the book piles toppled over. “Me too…”

* . * . * . * .

Aeduan was not having a good morning.

The news that they would be making a trip to the library that day was not received with warm reception from the four-year-old. At first, Owl just frowned, not understanding why they were going if they weren’t going to see Evrane. The concept of the library existing even when they weren’t there was a shock to Owl - an unpleasant one judging by the horrified look on her face - and Aeduan did his best to explain that the library was open to more than just the two of them, and that they were welcome to visit any time they wished, even when they weren’t meeting with Evrane. He thought this would clear up the matter and put to rest Owl’s apparently very serious concerns about the library. He was so incredibly wrong.

Owl had been possessed by the devil - Aeduan was sure of it.

The nightmare started with her bath. Aeduan could have skipped his shower if he had known how wet Owl would get him with all her thrashing, suddenly violently adverse to water. By the end of it, there was more water on him than in the tub. He’d had to change - but only after he managed to wrangle Owl into her own clothes (another Olympic feat). At breakfast, she threw her Cheerios on the floor and the moment Aeduan finished picking up every last O, she spilled her orange juice. By the time they left the house, Aeduan was so preoccupied with Owl squirming in his arms, he didn’t notice Blueberry sauntering across the porch and he tripped over the damned thing, sending himself - and Owl - toppling into a snow pile. She’d started sobbing then. Not for herself or for Aeduan, whose hip was throbbing in pain. No, no, no. She was upset that he may have hurt the cat. It took 20 minutes for him to assure her that Blueberry was ok, another 20 minutes searching for the little cretin when it became clear she needed physical proof of the fact (he was hiding under the porch wedged behind the recycling bin), and by the time her sobs had turned into sniffles, he was so discombobulated that he didn’t even bother to go back inside and change out of his now soaking wet pants. Again. He was too worried he’d never get Owl out of the house again if he did. He wasn’t taking any chances. He skipped the car altogether, even though it had just snowed and the sidewalks probably weren’t all cleared yet. Barring performing an exorcism, getting Owl to sit still long enough for him to fasten her into her carseat seemed inconceivable and - with his ears still ringing with her last screaming meltdown - he wasn’t looking for an encore.

Owl was deathly quiet by the time they reached the library. Maybe she had run out of tears. Aeduan certainly hoped so. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Owl fell apart while they were inside the building. Possibly breakdown and cry himself. Evrane would love that.

Shit. Evrane. In all the chaos, Aeduan hadn’t even thought about what he’d say if they happened to run into her. He hastily ran through some quick excuses in his head while he crossed the library’s main hall, eyes darting around the open space for a splash of white hair and listening for the tell-tale sound of clattering of silver… which was precisely the moment he ran into Iseult. Or rather, Iseult’s book cart.

The cart went toppling over, taking Iseult along with it, and crashed to the floor with a bone-rattling BOOM. The sound echoed unforgivingly through the voluminous hall. Aeduan stared at Iseult sprawled out on the floor covered in books, stunned, then snapped into action.

“Are you alright?” he asked, hastily depositing Owl on the ground and kneeling down beside Iseult. She looked shocked, eyes frozen wide, like she didn’t know how she had ended up on the floor. He hastily began pulling books off her.

“You should be more careful,” Aeduan admonished gruffly. He gathered and stacked the fly-away books into a pile off to the side while Iseult just sat there, silent. Annoyed, he opened his mouth again when he picked up a tattered volume off her leg.

His movement stuttered and his eyes locked on a jagged rip in her tights. The pale skin shone like a tear in the night sky. He swallowed thickly and he tore his eyes away.

“Someone could have gotten hurt.” He got up, leaving Iseult on the floor, and walked over the fallen cart. He pulled it upright, the wood groaning with the motion. He braced his hands on either end and gave it a firm jostle. It seemed sturdy enough, despite its obvious wear. Satisfied that it was safe, he started transferring the books back on its shelves.

A strange sort of hiccup from behind him caused Aeduan’s head to snap up. He’d had enough tears that morning. This whole day could fuck off into the void if Iseult was going to start crying too. He jerked around, not sure what he would do if he saw a single tear on her face, then stared.

Iseult was laughing. He’d never heard her laugh. Or truly seen her smile. It transformed her whole face that was always so emotionless. Even as confusion shot through him, he couldn’t help but appreciate the sight.

He offered a hand to her.

“Are you alright?” The question came out more reserved this time. Less like an accusation.

Iseult nodded, her soft laughter fading to nothing, and accepted his help. Her hand was cold against his. She let go when she was back on her feet and offered him a small smile in appreciation.

Aeduan pointed to the tear at her knee, if only to distract himself from the feeling she’d left in his empty hand. “That looks like it hurts.”

Iseult ducked her head and gave her leg a quick once-over. Aeduan found himself looking too, but when his gaze began to roam to other places, he quickly looked away.

“N-no, it’s fine,” Iseult stammered. “I’m just out a pair of tights.”

Aeduan frowned, not sure what to say to that. Iseult bit the inside of her cheek and shrugged. “I-I have a hundred pairs, so it’s f-fine.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Aeduan asked for a third time. The tremble in her voice was making him uneasy.

“Mhmm,” was all she responded with, nodding her head. She fidgeted with the cuffs of her sweater. “I’m sorry I almost ran you two over.”

Two? Oh, right! Owl.

Aeduan looked down at Owl next to him. The look she was giving them was downright murderous, if that was possible. Owl had proven on more than one occasion that she was capable of extraordinary things - even if she was only four.

“You didn’t,” Aeduan replied, looking away from her and back at Iseult. “I should have been paying attention. I’m sorry.” He didn’t know where the words were coming from, but they were out of his mouth before he could give them any thought. They seemed to be the right thing to say, though, because Iseult’s face relaxed and he thought he caught a faint smile.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said, looking up at him shyly.

Aeduan swallowed, heart stuck in his throat. “You…. are?”

“Mmm,” Iseult confirmed. She wet her lips, the pink tip of her tongue darting out and capturing Aeduan’s attention fully and wholly. “I was just about to drop these off and get my things to go. I have your book. One of the other librarians would have been able to get it for you, but…” She trailed off, ducking her head and looking down at her feet.

But, what? Aeduan thought frantically. He’d never felt more desperate for someone to finish a sentence.

Instead, she abruptly announced: “I’ll go get it now,” then pivoted on her heel and glided away from him. He watched her go, eyes carefully trained on the manner of her gait. If she was hurting, she hid it well. Every stride of her legs was poised and measured, much like her personality. However, when she was about ten feet away from him she paused and turned around. Aeduan noticed how she hesitated when she saw him watching her, but, subtly, she squared her shoulders, and proceeded to make the short trek back to where him and Owl stood by the book cart.

Oh. The book cart.

Aeduan made no comment when Iseult reached them nor did she. She simply rotated the cart on its wheels and ushered it away. The rickety contraception left a trail of unwelcomed noise, earning her several annoyed looks from nearby patrons. As if it was Iseult’s fault that that ancient piece of craftsmanship made such an infernal racket.

Aeduan glared at them.

It didn’t take Iseult long to return. When she appeared, she was buttoned up in a coat and wore an old-timey looking beret on her head. On anyone else it probably would have looked childish, but on her it was cute. Aeduan shrugged the observation off by focusing on the book in her hand.

“I hope you don’t mind that I looked up your account to check it out,” she said as she handed Elmer and the Dragon to him. A boy in a red and white striped shirt and blue cap playing a flute to a circle of yellow birds looked up at him from the cover. “We’re not supposed to do that without the patron present, but... well... I figured you’d probably want to get in and get out.”

Aeduan looked up with the faintest of frowns. “Why do you say that?”

Iseult blinked, and though nothing else moved out of place on her face, Aeduan could tell she was surprised. “Well,” she said slowly, “whenever you come in you always seem like… like you don’t want to be here.”

Aeduan tensed. That wasn’t true. Maybe it had been before, but now… now he wasn’t so sure.

He assessed the facts. Today was Friday. He’d defied all logic and come in on a day he wasn’t obligated to. He’d triggered the second coming of Judas just to be here by facing off with an irritable 4-year-old and a demonic cat. He’d even risked Evrane’s unsolicited judgement. All that he had done to pick up Owl’s book. To make Owl happy. The wet jeans frozen to his ass were proof of that.

“I wanted to be here today,” he said, tucking the book under his arm. The truth of that statement almost distracted him from the pink blush that rose on the apples of Iseult’s cheeks. Almost.

She cast her gaze down to her hands and busied herself with pulling on her gloves. “I have to go to my next job.” Her voice was muffled somewhat by the thick scarf wrapped so high around her neck it obscured some of her chin.

“The coffee shop?”

“The coffee shop.” She let her hand fall to her sides - gloves secured - and with nothing left to keep her occupied, she looked at him.

“Well...” she began. The suggestion of her departure was obvious in her tone, but Aeduan interrupted her.

“We were planning on heading there after. After coming here.”

“You were going to go to Jitters?” Iseult’s eyebrow actually bounced and Aeduan relished the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of her. It was becoming something of a game between them - though, he wasn’t sure she was aware she was a player.

“Yeah. It’s what we do on Fridays.”

Iseult peered from Aeduan to Owl. Unconvinced maybe. “You go to Jitters every Friday?”

“Well,” Aeduan backtracked, feeling his insides freeze up a bit, “we have been for the last month. It’s… a new tradition.”

He hoped that didn’t sound weird. Iseult was still staring at him with that blank stare of hers, her eyebrows having recovered from their brief surprise. It was all so maddening. He never knew what she was going to say. It made everything he said all the more nerve wracking… and exciting.

He realized something then, something that made the corner of his mouth curl up. Just like that, he wasn’t afraid of what to say next.

“Shall we?”

* . * . * . * .

Iseult was getting coffee with Aeduan.

Scratch that. Iseult was getting coffee for Aeduan. Or at least, she would be once they got to Jitters.

They were walking. Outside, Aeduan had apologized and muttered something about not being able to use the car in the morning. He did that a lot. Mutter. But Iseult didn’t mind. Especially when there was an apology buried in there - which, there had been that day. Twice. That wasn’t so bad either. (Not that she was keeping track, of course.)

The sidewalks were icy, and several times, Iseult nearly slipped. Each time she noticed the way Aeduan’s hand shot out to grab her out of the corner of her eye - but only just. He never quite made it to touching her. His hand would hover in the air - she could practically feel it - waiting for her to recover, and after, it would fall back to his side, wrist rolling.

The three of them walked side by side, Aeduan in between Iseult and Owl. There was no way of knowing for sure, but Iseult suspected that he had put himself in the middle to act as some sort of buffer. The contempt radiating off of Owl back at the library hadn’t gone unnoticed by Iseult. She could have imagined it, but she thought she even saw a smidgen of smugness on the child’s face after she had fallen. While Iseult admired Aeduan for fighting for custody of the child, there was no ignoring it: Owl was strange.

Aeduan held on tight to Owl’s hand, setting the pace for the three of them. Unlike Iseult, she hadn’t slipped once. So strange.

Nothing was said for the first ten minutes of their trek. Eventually, Iseult worked up the nerve and broke the ice in a way that didn’t involve falling on her ass.

“You said you started coming to Jitters every Friday?” she asked, giving Aeduan a side-long look. He nodded, keeping his eyes ahead of him.

“Before we pick up my sisters from school.”

Sisters. Interesting. Iseult instantly latched onto the topic. “Do they live around here?”

Aeduan shook his head. “Arithuania.”

“That’s not too far,” Iseult commented conversationally. “How old are they?”

“Lisbet’s 12 and Cora’s 8… They're my half-sisters.”

“Oh.” Iseult mulled over that. It was a seemingly small detail, but it invited a whole host of questions about his family. Lisbet and Cora were younger than him, so that meant he had a stepmother… which meant something had happened to his real mother. The desire to not to lose momentum of the conversation almost pushed Iseult to ask… but then she thought about Gretchya. If the roles were reversed and Aeduan had asked about her mom, she wouldn’t have wanted to answer. Her mom was about the furthest thing away from what she would want to talk about, now or ever.

So instead she said, “I don’t have any siblings. But I have Safi.”

Aeduan’s head turned to her. “Who’s Safi?”

“My best friend.” Iseult’s face broke out into a smile like it always did when she thought about Safi. “She’s the closest thing I have to a sister.”

“That… must be nice.”

Iseult nodded in agreement. “We live together.”

A pause. “Do you get along?”

“Most of the time. But even when we disagree, we’re always in sync. We’re always on each other’s side. It’s... hard to explain.”

“Hn.” That was all Aeduan had to say to that and then silence fell between. Iseult really felt like it was his turn to pick up the conversation. She’d done a decent enough job carrying it so far; a two minute run was pretty good, she thought. A record, maybe, for Aeduan. But now it was his turn. Or so she thought. Because the silence stretched. And stretched and stretched. She even heard Owl sigh at one point. She wouldn’t be surprised if she fell asleep by the time they made it to Jitters.

“Do you live around here?” she finally asked, then groaned inwardly. What a stupid question. Of course, he lived around here. They walked to the library all the time, dumby.

“Yes.”

The single word struck a match on Iseult’s nerves. She might as well have said nothing at all if that all she was going to get back in return. She wasn’t great at making conversation on a good day, but Aeduan - Aeduan was like a monolith. There was no breaking through to him. He just stood there like a constipated brick, not saying a word, with those ridiculously blue eyes and ridiculously long lashes, and just glared at her making her feel like a complete idiot for even trying to talk to him, like she was the one with the problem!

Well, she silently seethed, it was no secret to the Moon Mother that she was ripe with issues, but she was not the problem here. She peeked at him out of the corner of her eye, and the white winter sunlight caught on the lobe of Aeduan’s ear.

“Why do you wear that thing?” she blurted.

Aeduan’s head whipped to her, his eyes slightly widened, like he’d only just realized she was there. Before, Iseult might have been scared as to how he would react to such a brazen question. But her fears had nothing on the deep satisfaction of seeing the crimson blush that fanned out high on his cheeks and crawled to the tips of his ears. She half expected him to trip over himself for how long he gaped at her.

“Why do you care?” he snarled - he actually snarled!

Iseult stood her ground. In that, she kept walking, head held high.

“I didn’t say I cared,” she said smoothly. “I’m just curious. You don’t see a lot of guys walking around wearing gemstones in their ears. It says alot about a person.”

Aeduan’s jaw locked so tightly it looked like it might never unhinge ever again - which, Iseult supposed, wouldn’t make much of a difference seeing as he never said anything worthwhile anyway.

But then he did something that surprised her. He came to a full stop. He swiveled to face her directly, and when Iseult looked into his eyes, some of the fear she’d pushed aside rushed back.

“This gemstone,” Aeduan said venomously, pointing a sharp finger to his ear, “belonged to my mother.” He glared at Iseult and she swore she heard her heart stop entirely. Strangers milled about around them on the sidewalk, but in that moment nothing else existed outside of her and Aeduan. All she saw were his eyes. Cold as ice, yet burning with hatred... and grief. Even though Iseult was petrified of what he might say next, she realized that she felt like she was seeing him for the first time.

“I wear this to remember her.” Aeduan’s chest heaved. Icy air puffed from his lips with every labored breath, and Iseult suddenly noticed how close he was to her. Just another step and their noses would be touching. And their lips…

“If you’d ever lost a mother, you’d want to feel close to her too.”

This time Iseult’s heart did stop. With a disgusted look, Aeduan swung away from her and left her standing alone on the sidewalk, staring at the empty space where he used to be.

“I don’t think I would.”

Aeduan froze and looked over his shoulder. Iseult stood rooted to the spot.

“I-I d-don’t know if that’s t-true.” She shook her head, not sure where the words were coming from. Not sure how her heart could be beating so fast and not feel like it was working at the same time. Like it was malfunctioning and pumping out thoughts she would otherwise never say aloud. Not to anyone. Maybe not even Safi.

“My m-mother is sick and I d-don’t call her,” she stammered. “I never see her. I make excuses all the time about why I can’t visit her or why I don’t return her calls and even though I know I’m being a horrible daughter, I just can’t stop. I can’t bring myself to be better for her. I don’t know who your mother was or what she was like, but I do know mine. I don’t know what I’d do without her, I’ve never not had a mother, but… I don’t know if I’d want to feel close to her b-because I don’t feel c-close to her now. I… I don’t know if I’d miss her.”

The weight of everything she just admitted lifted off Iseult and she was able to breathe again, heartbeat retreating under the cool blanket of stasis she kept shrouded around her at all times. Pumping blood, not feelings, doing its job. She took a gulp of cold air. Her limbs felt foreign to her, the tension she always carried ebbing away, and a fierce exhaustion hit her with the force of a speeding train. She didn’t think she could bring herself to look at Aeduan after everything she just confessed… but she did anyway.

His expression was painstakingly emotionless. Not even a scrap of red tinged his cheeks. During her speech she hadn’t really registered him there. Even Owl at his side was looking at Iseult with something different. There was no repulsion, not judgement. Just… curiosity.

Iseult took another deep breath of air. It didn’t matter what Aeduan thought of her now. She needed to go to work. She needed to move forward. Her eyelids fluttered close briefly.

Stasis, Iseult. Stasis. Stasis in your fingers and in your toes.

When she opened her eyes, she was moving. She was brushing past his shoulder. And then-

Something stopped her.

Iseult looked down at the hand firmly gripped on the strap of her book bag, then slowly, tipped her chin up to look at Aeduan. The white winter sun behind him was a halo around his head.

“Can I buy you a muffin?”

* . * . * . * .

Somehow Iseult ended up on the green couch at Jitters. There had been scant elsewhere for the three of them to comfortably sit, so while Iseult had made a beeline for the couch before anyone else could snatch it out from under them, Aeduan headed to the counter to fetch them some coffee. Caffeine was probably the last thing Iseult needed right now - not after what had transpired on their walk - but when Aeduan had asked her how she took her coffee, she couldn’t find it in herself to refuse him.

There was an air of relaxed cheerfulness about the shop, the place bustling with people getting a jumpstart on their weekend, college students done with classes for the week. When Iseult spotted Cam alone scrambling behind the counter and Safi nowhere in sight, her first instinct was to rush over and give him a hand, but the second Aeduan stepped into her line of sight and instructed her to find a seat, she’d forgotten all about him.

It felt strange sitting and being waited on in her own coffee shop. It was like being served in her living room. She sat spine rod straight on the edge of the couch with her hands absently twisting her gloves in her lap. She hadn’t even bothered to take off her coat or scarf. They felt like protective armor now, like needing a blanket to fall asleep regardless of whether it’s cold or not. Right now, it was admittedly too hot, what with the fireplace crackling by the couch. She could feel herself growing uncomfortably warm. She resolved to loosen her scarf, but only a little bit.

Aeduan wasn’t alone when he reappeared carrying two mismatched mugs of coffee. Cam followed behind him, his face pinched in concentration, moving with caution as he balanced three small plates of pastries perilously along his spindly arms. Iseult tried not to make a show of watching him as he approached, but she held her breath, praying for him not to fumble. It would be exactly the kind of thing he would do, the poor kid. The second hand embarrassment alone would cause Iseult to combust.

The second the plates made contact with the low coffee table, she was able to breathe freely.

“Cam,” Iseult said, peering over the back of the couch and looking around the shop, “where’s Safi?”

Cam put down the last of the plates and wiped off his brow, relief evident on his face. “She ran out to the corner store. The delivery guys must be running late and we ran out of creamer.”

“That’s the second time this month,” Iseult muttered more to herself than to Cam. She sighed. “I’ll have Safi give them an earful when they get here.”

“Aye aye, sir.” Cam gave her a dutiful salute. He made to turn away, then stopped as if only just realizing that he had just served pastries to her. “You are working today, right? Safi seemed to think you were.”

“In another half hour,” said Iseult, checking the clock on the wall for good measure. “Don’t worry, I’ll be on by the time you need to leave. You won’t be late for your Big Brother meeting.”

Cam’s cheeks went a little pink and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Ok, thanks,” he said sheepishly. “I’m really sorry he called last week. I told him it wasn’t your fault, I swear.”

A memory of Safi hunched over the desk in their cramped office in the storeroom, red-faced, holding the phone to her ear flashed across her eyes. Safi’d endured a very heated discussion with some guy that claimed to be Cam’s Big Brother - didn’t even bother to properly introduce himself, the loser - and accused them of letting Cam off his shift late so that he was late for their meeting. Judging by the 30 minutes hate-rant that followed after she’d hung up the phone, it had not been a productive conversation.

“I believe you, Cam. It really wasn't a big deal,” she lied. It had taken forty bucks worth of take-out and a bottle of wine to convince Safi not to fire him on the spot.

“Ok,” Cam said again, shoulders relaxing. He surveyed the spread on their coffee table and glanced at Aeduan and Owl seated next to her. “I just wasn’t sure what this was.”

“Oh ah…” Iseult glanced at Aeduan who was helping Owl peel the paper wrapping off her muffin, not paying the least bit of attention to their conversation. “We’re just having some lunch.”

“Alright,” Cam said, eyeing Aeduan skeptically, if not fearfully. But he didn’t pry further. “Well, I’ll see you in a bit then. Enjoy your, uh, lunch.”

“Thanks,” Iseult said, watching him leave. Stealing herself, she shifted in her seat to face lunch.

Aeduan hadn’t touched his food. He was too busy fussing over Owl. She sat between them, contentedly munching on a muffin that was almost as big as her head. Much like before when they had been walking together, she felt like Owl was acting as some sort of barrier now, like Aeduan had put her there to keep some space between them. Iseult wondered if she should read into it. Maybe he was trying to tell her that this wasn’t anything special. Just two people having coffee. Nothing put the lid on romance faster than a four-year-old who, as far as Iseult could tell, hated her. And then there was the issue of the 6 months worth of guilt she’d word vomited all over the sidewalk just 10 minutes ago.

“Is everything alright?” Aeduan asked as he put down Owl’s juice box on the coffee table and picked at his own muffin.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Iseult said, almost breathless. “Just a problem with our delivery guys. I’ll have Safi handle it when she gets back.”

Aeduan popped a piece of muffin in his mouth and chewed methodically as he studied her. He swallowed. “No, I meant with you. Your face. It’s all red and splotchy.”

“Oh,” Iseult breathed, hands flying to her cheeks. The skin burned under her fingers. “I… I’m just a little warm, I guess. The fire…” Aeduan continued to stare and she looked down helplessly at her coat. “I suppose I can take this off,” she mumbled, reaching for the buttons and beginning to undo them. She tried to steady her fingers as she continued down the line. She shrugged the peacoat off and her entire body seemed to sigh with relief at the feeling of being able to breath again. She chanced another glance at Aeduan as she unwound her scarf, noticing that he had already taken his jacket. How she hadn’t noticed until was a mystery. The white t-shirt stretched across his chest made it devastatingly clear that he didn’t need any protective armor for their not-date.

Iseult had always been so preoccupied with what was going on inside Aeduan’s head that she never really wondered what went on with the rest of him. His signature leather jacket masked how lean he truly was, but it also hid everything else. Everything else being, well, everything. And boy, there was so much to see.

Not being much of a fashion guru, Iseult had never considered what was so special about the plain white tee. That singular item of clothing had transcended decades of trends despite being, as its title suggested, plain. Now, however, its reason for persevering was evident. Embellishment would only distract from the main attraction. The attraction being, the person who wore it.

Aeduan was, for lack of a better word, stacked.

The shirt left nothing to the imagination. Iseult could see the contours of his muscles, starting with the hard plane of his chest, traveling all the way down to map the outline of his abs. His arms were on full display in all their glory, pale and strong looking and - oh my gosh - was that a tattoo peeking out from underneath the hem of his sleeve?? There was nothing unsightly about him. He was built in a way that told her that he must be well-acquainted with the benefits of hitting the genetic lottery. This wasn't the work of protein powder. Somehow he had fallen into Moon Mother’s good graces. He looked healthy and strong and 100% out of Iseult’s league… It wasn’t until now that she’d ever even considered joining a league.

She didn’t own a bat.

She didn’t own a ball.

She’d never made it to first base before, nevermind hit a homerun.

She was so woefully unequipped in every way for the living Michaelangelo statue sitting across from her that it suddenly hit her that no wonder he didn’t talk much. Who needed words when you had a body like that to do all the talking?

Except Aeduan was talking for once. Now, in fact.

“Are you going to leave that on?” Iseult barely heard him ask.

“What? Oh-” She followed his line of sight to the beret on top of her head. She hastily peeled it off and awkwardly tried to smooth out her hair. She was uncomfortably aware of Aeduan’s eyes on her. She wished she hadn’t worn the silly thing. It had been a gift from Leopold a couple Christmases back. He had insisted that it was chic and retro and, no, it wouldn’t make her look like Mary from The Secret Garden, but now she would have liked nothing more than to toss it into the fire and watch it shrivel up into a pile of ash.

“Thanks,” she forced herself to say as she reached for the mug on the table. “For the coffee and- oh.” She examined the muffin beside it, then tilted her head questioningly at Aeduan. “Did you know cinnamon was my favorite?”

Aeduan, who was mid-sip, paused. Iseult caught the corner of his mouth curled up behind his mug. Then he tipped his coffee back and it was gone. “Lucky guess.”

Iseult allowed herself to smile, a little one, before ducking her down. She began to break apart her muffin… but there was only so much eating and drinking she could do before there would need to be some exchange of words. She decided to take a stab at it.

“You said you come here every Friday?”

“Pretty much,” Aeduan said, reaching for a napkin and dabbing a smear of what looked like blueberry off Owl’s cheek. She looked like she wanted to resist but didn’t.

“You do know there’s a Starbucks right around the corner, right?”

“So?”

“Well, why come here when you could go there?”

Aeduan thought about it, then shrugged. “I like the coffee.”

Iseult snorted into her mug, sending a couple errant droplets of coffee flying. Both Aeduan and Owl stared at her. Iseult surreptitiously wiped her mouth, but when she noticed that they were still staring, Aeduan clearly confused by her reaction, she sent the same nonplussed look right back.

“Are you serious?” Iseult asked deadpanned.

“I believe I am,” Aeduan replied, a little defensive, which made Iseult want to laugh again.

“It’s not actually real Marstoki coffee,” she said, gesturing to his mug. “You know that, right?”

Aeduan peered into the contents of his mug. “It’s not?”

“Not even a little.” Iseult gave him a bemused look, enjoying the curious way he was examining his mug, almost indignant. Eventually he accepted the truth and put it down.

“You said hazelnut makes it better. I guess you were right.”

Iseult’s heart skipped a beat. He ordered his coffee that way she had brewed it for him the first time she saw him in the shop? She didn’t know why that made her feel all gooey inside but it did.

A soft chime sounded and Aeduan reached into his back pocket. The movement stretched his already too tight shirt even tighter across his chest and Iseult launched into an aggressive excavation of her muffin as to avoid ogling him. When she eventually got a grip and looked back up, Aeduan was frowning at his phone.

“Something wrong?” Iseult asked, hoping that he didn’t have to leave.

He shook his head. “It’s nothing.” He started to put it away, then stopped. “Well,” - he shifted again and slid it back out - “do you know what this means?”

He leaned across Owl and showed the screen to Iseult.

“My sister likes to send me these… things,” he explained, watching Iseult carefully as she looked at the picture on his phone. “I never know what the heck she’s talking about.”

“Oh!” Iseult exclaimed with a laugh. “It’s a meme. See, that’s Kermit the Frog. Kermit is-”

“I know who Kermit the Frog is,” Aeduan ground out like it pained him to say the goofy green muppet’s name out loud. “But what does he have to do with her trying to decide whether or not she wants to sign up for the school’s annual spelling bee?”

“Well,” Iseult began and boldly took the phone from his hand and pointed to the Kermit hooded in a black cloak. “That’s Kermit’s evil persona. He’s like the devil on his shoulder whispering in his ear and egging him on. Your sister-”

“Lisbet,” provided Aeduan.

“-Lisbet said she doesn’t want to sign up because she has too many other extracurriculars going on right now and doesn’t want to overload herself. But she also wants the satisfaction of wiping the floor with her peers’ asses because she knows she’ll win.”

Aeduan frowned at her.

“My words, not hers,” she clarified. She handed the phone back to him. “She was using that picture of Kermit talking to his sinister self to emphasize her evil instincts.”

“I wouldn't exactly classify competing in a spelling bee as evil,” Aeduan said, studying the meme again.

Iseult plunked a bit of muffin in her mouth and chewed. “Sounds like she's a pretty outgoing kid.”

“She is,” Aeduan said, clicking his phone off and tucking it away. “But she’s quiet about it… Humble in a way the most overachieving 12-year-olds aren’t. To her it’s not overachieving, it’s just her being her.”

Iseult watched the faint smile that spread across his lips, warming his usually cold face. “Cora,” he continued without prompting, “is a lot like her, but sillier. She’s younger, of course, but she’s always been a little more mellow than Lisbet. More carefree. I don’t think school means the same to her as it does to Lisbet, but she’s a good girl.”

“They both sound like they’re good girls,” Iseult said.

“They are,” Aeduan nodded. “They are.”

A comfortable silence passed between them in which they both indulged in a few bites of their muffins.

“So what are your plans for this weekend?” Iseult asked.

Aeduan stiffened, looking slightly uncomfortable. “Uh, sorry, but I’m busy. I have the girls all weekend.”

She blinked. “Right, I know... what are your plans with them?”

“You weren’t...?” Aeduan’s face went red and he absently tugged at his pieced lobe. “Oh. Well. Uh…” He tried to mask his embarrassment with a cough. “Nothing special. Lisbet likes to get her homework out of the way on Fridays and Cora likes to do what Lisbet does, so we usually spend the rest of the afternoon doing school work. Saturdays are a mixed bag. Lisbet’s does a lot of extracurriculars, so depending on what she has going on, Saturday is our day to just hang out and relax.”

Iseult had a hard time picturing Aeduan “hanging out” and wondered what that would entail. Before she could ask, a noise sprouted between them and they both looked down. Owl sipped on her straw like she was sucking the life out of her juice box. Aeduan gingerly pulled it out of her mouth and placed the exsanguinated carton on the coffee table.

“What about you?” Aeduan asked, like nothing had happened. “Do you have any fun plans?” It sounded like he struggled to say the word ‘fun’.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call my plans fun. Or call them plans at all,” Iseult confessed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I mostly work. And read.”

“And hang out with Safi.”

Iseult smiled, nodding. “And hang out with Safi.”

It took her a full 5 seconds to realize that Aeduan was smiling back at her. Not just with his mouth but with the little dimple that winked out from his cheek. It was the most brilliant thing she’d ever seen.

“Actually,” she spoke, looking down at her hands, “we’re hanging out tonight. Our friend Vaness is having a little get-together with some people.”

“Vaness?”

Iseult’s ears perked up, catching the sharp familiarity in the way he spoke her name. “Yeah. Do you know her?”

Aeduan opened his mouth to respond, his smile and the dimple noticeably missing, but at that moment, the bells over the entrance door jingled and in walked Safi.

“Iseult,” she breathed, nose and cheeks rosy from the cold. A paper bag was clutched to her chest with what Iseult guessed was creamer.

At the sound of her name, Aeduan’s head instinctively turned to look over the back of the couch. Safi froze as the door closed behind her.

“S-Safi,” Iseult exclaimed, taken aback by the stutter over her best friend’s name. That was a first. But Safi didn’t seem to notice. Her feet seemed glued to the floor with her stare pinned on Aeduan.

“This is Aeduan and - oh!” - Owl was turning in her seat and pulling herself up with the back of the couch to see what the fuss was about - “this is Owl.”

Owl gave Safi a shrewd look that lasted all of 5 seconds before sinking back down onto the cushion and returning to her muffin. Clearly, she was unimpressed by Iseult’s choice in best friend.

“Aeduan, this is Safi,” Iseult told him, nearly choking on Safi’s name when she saw the frosty look he was giving Safi.

Neither of them said anything.

“We were just eating lunch,” Iseult explained, grappling for words. She looked from Safi to Aeduan waiting for someone to explain why on earth she’d been transported to the arctic tundra. They seemed to be locked in some sort of Vulcan mind meld; she had a feeling her limited knowledge of Star Trek trivia wasn’t going to do much to break it.

Thankfully, Aeduan was the one to do the deed. He sent a downward jerk of his head to Safi in acknowledgment that might as well have been a punch to the face for all the friendliness it had, then turned to Iseult.

“We need to get going,” he said, his voice carrying none of the warmth or depth it had had in their conversation moments ago.

“S-sure,” Iseult faltered. She was unable to ignore the sinking disappointment buoying in the pit of her stomach. “I w-wouldn’t want to keep Lisbet and Cora waiting.”

Wordlessly, he pulled on his jacket and helped Owl into hers, then bundled her up in her hat, scarf, and gloves. He started to stack the mugs and plates.

“You don’t have to-” Iseult tried to stop him, but he continued anyway.

“I got it,” was all he gruffed out. When everything was piled up, he stepped around the coffee table and transported it all to the counter by the waste bin. When he came back he held out his hand to Owl, who slid off the couch and placed her fuzzy mittened hand in his, then glanced at Iseult. She couldn’t read his expression, but she didn’t have much time because the next second he was turning his back on her and leaving.

Safi, who hadn’t budged, didn’t say a word as he sidestepped around her and pushed through the door. The second it rattled shut, her head whipped to Iseult. She whizzed over to the couch like time had stopped and was suddenly speeding to catch up. She threw herself down where Aeduan had been sitting and carelessly let the paper bag drop to the floor, barely giving it any mind. Disbelief was written all over her face. Iseult was glad that her expression was finally readable, but was still very much bewildered as to the reason behind it.

“What was that all about? Are you crazy?” Safi whisper-hissed.

Iseult blinked rapidfire in response. “What are you talking about?”

“Him!” Safi exclaimed, shooting a look over her shoulder. “That guy! Why on Earth would you hang out with him?!”

Iseult was so confused. She was barely able to form words. “He’s just a patron at the library. We’re friends.”

Safi gave her a flabbergasted look. “He’s not just a patron. Iseult,” - she leaned forward and brought her head close to hers - “do you seriously not recognize who he is or do you not remember anything from that night?” She pinned her with a stare, eyebrows high, as though waiting for a response, but Iseult shook her head smally, her mouth clamped shut. Nothing Safi was saying was making any sense and it was making her more and more nervous.

Safi sucked in a breath through her nose and her hand covered Iseult’s in her lap. She squeezed it bracingly. All it did was send another shot of fear through Iseult. She stared into Safi’s blue eyes.

“Iseult,” she said in a low voice, “that’s the chief of police’s son... the cop that crashed Vaness’ end-of-the-year party.”

* . * . * . * .

The moment Aeduan stepped outside, he felt like he could breathe again. It had become too hot in there. And then when Safi walked in…

Of course - of course - Iseult’s best friend had to be the impossible barista. But she wasn’t just that. Because just before she’d interrupted them, something that had been out of place had slid home and he’d realized something: he knew Iseult.

A memory of a hot summer night that started with a noise complaint rushed back to him. Being in the Domestic Violence Unit, it wasn’t something his squad typically covered, but staff was stretched thin that night, what with the non-stop partying shaking up the college city, and Aeduan didn’t have much choice to turn his back on the call. It had been one of the last runs he’d made before turning in his badge.

Iseult probably didn’t even remember it. But he did.

Owl tugged at Aeduan’s hand and felt her curl into his leg. He peered down at her questioningly.

She lifted a mittened hand out in front of her. “Dog,” she said.

Aeduan looked to where she pointed and, sure enough, there was a dog leashed to a lamppost, most likely waiting for his owner to return from getting a coffee. At the sight of the two of them, he lifted his shaggy head from his front paws, attention piqued.

Annoyance tugged at Aeduan’s gut. He hated when dog owners just left their pets tied up unattended. It was just notch below leaving them in the car.

Owl let go of his hand and clutched herself to him, hiding behind his leg. Wide brown eyes peeked out from behind him at the dog, who looked cold and miserable.

“Tail not moving,” she said, her words muffled by the fabric of his jeans. Aeduan nodded and gave the dog a pitying look.

“That’s right,” he told her. “He’s probably not happy being left out in the snow by his master.”

Owl tucked herself even closer to him and a small whimper bubbled out of her. Aeduan moved to sidestep away from her to show her the dog wouldn’t hurt her, but she only whimpered again, more loudly.

“It’s ok,” Aeduan shushed her, gently extricating her from his leg and lifting her up in the air like she weighed nothing. “I got you.”

Her arms wrapped around his neck the moment she connected with his chest and the warmth of her enveloped him, anchoring him, pushing thoughts of his old life his mind. He held her close, humming soft comforting words to her and rocking her gently.

From the snow-covered sidewalk, the shivering dog’s watery, mournful eyes watched him and Aeduan stared back. He thought about Iseult and her sick mother. He thought about Owl’s tear-stained face from that morning and her arms around him now. And then he thought about what it would take to lose a child and what it would feel like to not be missed.

#the witchlands #bookends #iseult det midenzi #aeduan #baeseult #owl #safiya fon hasstrel #iseult x aeduan #cam leeri #truthwitch #my fics #mine

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jj-lynn21 · 4 years

Text

You will remember things that we never said ch 3

Warning: flirting, fluff?, angst, jealousy

Dolly Trauma Songs: Fade into you (cover) Alastis: , Sky May Fahl , Stitch

ch 1, ch 2 ch 4 ch 5 ch 6 ch 7

Stephanie is in the art building after another class. She sees Axel in passing. She smiles. He nods stopping.

“Zeigeist is playing Thursday and Saturday night, you coming?” Axel asks.

Stephanie shrugs, “Most, probably.” She thinks, who in the hell says most, probably.

“Well, I hope so.” He darts into the bathroom.

Stephanie is flying high emotionally as she steps outside to the sunshiny crisp day. Her sunglasses come out of her hoodie pocket to cover her sensative eyes. Her legs feel weak the more she thinks about Axel hoping to see her. Of course, she does realize it is another five dollars at the door and that is how his band gets paid. But maybe its just a little more.

That evening she catches Bella as soon as she come in from class, “Hey, you want to go see Zeigeist Thursday and Saturday.”

“Since Dark Breed is also playing those shows, I’m in.” Bella stated drably not nearly as excited as Stephanie.

Stephanie is unfocused as she tries to read her history lesson. Axel had her core aching like she had never known without even touching her today. Barely talking to her really. She decided to work on his portrait. Her tongue stuck out the corner of her lips as she focused to get his eyes just right. She worked on it a few hours. She was lost in thought sitting on her bed trying to per-fect his look, which she knew was impossible really, when Bella knocked on her bedroom door.

“You going to your afternoon class today?” Bella had her arms crossed across her chest and legs crossed at the ankles as she leaned against the door jam. “I didn’t think you ever skipped.”

Stephanie looked up at her, glanced at her cellphone, “Oh fuck. I’m going to be late.” She tossed the picture aside. “Thanks Bella.”

“Watch getting so wrapped up in um,” Bella glances at the drawing. “Your studies.”

“Sure thing,” Stephanie runs out the door to class after grabbing her bag.

Stephanie made it to class a second before the professor walks in and started his discussion about sculptures in ancient Greece. She rushes to the closest seat in the back of the room sitting and grabbing a notebook to start taking notes.

Since she is in the back Axel sees her writing madly to catch up. He stops to take in how she looks in such a flustered state. Then he moves on just as she looks up to see him go past. She tries to shake off the thoughts in her mind so she can try to concentrate on taking notes.

After class Stephanie heads to the student union to grab coffee and dinner. As she walks in one door, Axel is walking out the other side. They don’t notice each other. She walks out the same door he did and heads to her next class eating and drinking in route.

She has two more classes before going back to her and Bella’s dorm for the evening. Stephanie and Axel pass each other many more times through the rest of the week without even realizing it most of the time. Or one sees the other without both parties seeing each other. Its fates cosmic joke perhaps.

Thursday rolls around. Stephanie finds herself to excited to really study. But she does finish Axel’s portrait for Monday. At eight-thirty that evening her and Bella walk to Hide & Seek for the show. Todd is taking money at the door. He waves her in at no change.

Todd whispers, “Just don’t tell anyone.”

Stephanie nods. She thinks, there goes the theory Axel wanted me here just for another five dollars through the door. She hears Drake, the drummer for Zeitgeist, warming up as her and Bella grab beers at the bar. She drags Bella to the front of the stage with her. Todd and Tyson join Drake warming up. Stephanie’s heart beats faster waiting for Axel to appear. Zeitgeist starts the music for their first song of the evening, Alastis. The Mosh pit circles each other. Bella and others watch the pit guarding Stephanie from becoming part of that scene as her big blue doe eyes fixate on Axel as he comes out and grabs the Mic. This is one of the band’s heaver songs.

“Now I got the time to watch you run(watch you), I can’t see what’s made you afraid, see I have my cynical side, save my fingers up, make you shake, go on, go on…COWARD!..”

The pit goes nuts. Stephanie screams along with others.

Axel continues, “ Now I got the time to think for us, sacrificing all the control, you do nothing passionately (As I like), such endorphins I need in soul, What I write, I say, what I write…I keep true, I keep it real, it real, What I write, I say…” He leans down with the Mic looking right at Stephanie. “Still I wanna go down and take you there.” He stands looking back out to the audience while the band rips into the songs heavy sounds as Stephanie’s core tightens and lets loose juices dampening her panties. “Got time to fuck me, but you got no time to fuck me. I can’t believe the faces that you think you fake. Why go out tonight, why stay home…I stay home.”

“I’m going to slow things down,” Axel said to the crowd. “You guys and I see a few chicks involved to, are fucking monsters in the pit. We don’t perform to many covers, but we’ve fucked around with this one over the week. It’s called Fade into You . He turns his back to the crowd of screaming fans, mumbles into the mic, “for Stephanie.”

Stephanie’s eyes widen. Bella shakes her head like this is the worst idea Axel ever had.

Axel starts singing with his back to the crowd. “I want to hold the hand inside you, I want to take a breath that's true, I look to you and I see nothing, I look to you to see the truth, You live your life, you go in shadows, You'll come apart and you'll go black, Some kind of night into your darkness, Colors your eyes with what's not there”

Stephanie’s eyes are closed as she rocks back and forth singing along. Axel turns around, “Fade into you, Strange you never knew, Fade into you, I think it's strange you never knew, A stranger's light comes on slowly, A stranger's heart without a home, You put your hands into your head, And then smiles cover your heart…”

Axel kneels in front of Stephanie. “Fade into you, Strange you never knew…” She opens her eyes seeing him there with his eyes closed singing. She closes her eyes again just feeling the moment through her entire body, “Fade into you, I think it's strange you never knew…”

He stands to finish the song. After Axel finishes, he disappears off the side of the stage. Stephanie wants to go check on him but there is no way for her to get through the sea of people. Todd puts his guitar and amp to the side off stage as Dark Breed setup for their set.

He grabs a few beers before making his way to Stephanie, “Hey, Steph.” She turns around to him. He hands her a beer. “Axel wanted to stay to hangout after the show, but he wasn’t feeling well so took off already. He wasn’t feeling well all day but didn’t want to disappoint you, so we still played.”

“Oh, it’s cool,” Stephanie acted like it didn’t faze her. “Is he going to be ok?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine to sing Saturday.” Todd informed her. “Oh, let me get your number so Axel can message you the address for the club we’re playing Saturday. It’s a dive bar in the middle of nowhere called Cigs.”

Todd takes a piece of paper and pen from his pocket. Stephanie writes her info on it.

“Take care of him tonight Todd,” She was concerned.

Todd chuckled, “Will do. You are to sweet for this scene. Be careful. That pits about to get ignited.”

Bella walks up between Stephanie and Todd. “Axel already ditch her?”

Todd ignored Bella’s comment. “I’ll catch you later Steph.”

“See you guys Saturday night,” Stephanie decided to ignore Bella’s comment also.

Ryan came over as the heavy metal sound of Dark Breed started to thunder. “Hey, girls. Can I get you a few more beers?”

Stephanie finished the one she had, “Sure Ryan, thanks.”

Bella nodded she wanted one or more also. She held up five fingers.

Somehow, he got through the crowd and back with a buck of beers. The three of them sucked them down as they jumped around to the pounding music. Stephanie and Bella were laughing as they held each other. Several big guys stood between them and the frantic chaos going on in the pit. At some point, Stephanie wasn’t sure how or why, she was holding Ryan’s shirt as he flung around into others in the pit.

The three of them walked back to the dorms together. Stephanie and Bella hanging on each other. Ryan’s hands in his pockets on the opposite side of Stephanie as Bella. He was watching her laugh and smiling.

“Did you see when Axel was actually in my face singing to me?” Stephanie’s body was on fire just thinking about it. Her eyes glossed over with intoxication.

“He should have never done that. “Bella spat on the ground disgusted how easily Stephanie was buying what Axel was selling.

“Well, he did so there is nothing you can do about it now.” Stephanie laughed.

Ryan looked away not wanting to hear yet another girl he liked fawn over Axel. He parted company with the girls as soon as he walked them safely to their dorm building. “I’ll catch you later.”

They both giggled, “Catch you later Ryan.”

Soon after they got in their bedroom, they crashed out cold. The sunlight streaming through Stephanie’s open curtain mid-afternoon hit her like sledgehammer. She cried out while pulling her hot pink comforter over her pounding head. She hears Bella stumbling around outside her door.

Stephanie can’t remember the last time she had a hangover this bad. She jumped up as her stomach lurched. The room was spinning. She held the wall as she got to the restroom to puke as quickly as she could. She almost didn’t make it. Bella came in with ginger ale and aspirin. She held Stephanie’s hair back.

When she got Stephanie tucked back in bed she turned to leave, “I’ll bring you a bagel.”

“And coffee,” Stephanie mumble. “Strong, sweet, coffee.”

Bella laughed, “Alright Steph.”

“I need to study,” Stephanie grumbled her eyes barely open.

“Rest one more hour,” Bella left.

Stephanie might have dozed back off for a half hour when her cellphone buzzed with a message. She looked at it and sat right up.

Axel:

What’s up Stephanie. Its Axel.

Stephanie:

Hey, Axel. How are you feeling today? Todd said you left sick last night.

Axel:

I’m fine. Ate something yesterday that didn’t agree with me.

Stephanie:

Glad you’re feeling better

Axel:

Thanks, have to get back to work but here is the address for Saturday.

1521 North outreach

Stephanie:

Thanks

Axel: ttyl

Stephanie gets up slowly. She grabs her rob to take in to put on after she gets a shower. Her head isn’t throbbing as much. Her stomach is only a little upset. After her hot shower washes what is left on her from last night, she drinks a few sips of a ginger ale. She opens one of her books to start studying.

Bella comes back with a bagel and coffee for Stephanie. “How you doing, babe?” She puts the coffee and bagel by Stephanie.

“I’m ok now, “She takes a nibble of the bagel and a gulp of coffee. “This should help wake me up more to study.”

“Good, I should study a little to.” Bella grabbed a book from her bag. “There is a horror movie starting tonight. We are going with Albre and Ryan, cool?”

“Yeah, sure.” She flips the full page of notes to the next empty page.

The evening rolls around and they walk to the local theater. Everyone is chatting along the way. Ryan is do his best to keep Stephanie laughing. After they grab some snacks Stephanie turns around and sees Axel a few steps away.

“Hi Axel,” She smiles at him.

He gives her no emotion in return which she senses is his normal response in most situations. Its one of the reasons she is fascinated with him. She can’t read him at all. Usually she reads people pretty well. “I’m here with Albre, Bella and Ryan.”

He just nods. Ryan offers his hand to shake. Axel almost breaks it as he stares him down. He turns away and goes in the theater with the guys he is there with. Ryan makes her laugh during an intense part of the movie. Axel glances at them seeing Ryan put his arm around her and Ryan’s hand sliding up her leg. He looks away fuming.

Stephanie drives Bella, Albre and Ryan to this show. The bar is at the end of a dark street. Only a field for parking around it. They are running a little late. Stephanie pulls everyone with her to the front where her eyes attack Axel. He focuses on everyone else in the audience as he starts performing even though he did see her out of the corner of his eye with Ryan, Albre and Bella around her.

“This is Sky May Fahl “ Axel screams. The crowd hoots and hollers. “God gave you legs, you got to find your way out, don’t call my name, I couldn’t care less, got to find your way out, This doesn’t fit your phony needs, got to find your way out, Another drink for everything, got to find your way out,NOW REALIZE I CARE, We could never be honest, we could never be have, like some father’s illusion, we don’t have to pretend. God gave you friends, some walked away, got to find your way out, Don’t call my name I couldn’t care less, got to find your way out. Suck up to them, suck up to me, got to find your way out, another drink for everything, got to find your way out. NOW REALIZE I CARE…We’ve come a long long way child, don’t want to miss you now…You went to Hell, you took it well, got to find your way out…don’t dissipate, don’t look to fade, got to find your way out, this boring day, this belly ache, got to find your way out, The sunrise remind you all of which way the sky will Fall…And I don’t care what you are…”

Axel throws the mic down making a loud distortion as he bolts off stage through the back.

Stephanie pushes her way through the crowd. She goes out the side door around the back of the building. Axel is banging his head against the wall not hard enough to bust his head open but hard enough to cause himself pain.

“What the Hell was that Axel,” Stephanie screamed her ears still ringing from the loud music. “Are you alright?”

“Get the fuck back inside Steph,” He stopped banging his head but stared at the wall. “You don’t really fucking care anyway.”

“What do you mean I don’t fucking care?” She didn’t have any idea why he was so angry.

“You can whore around with anyone you want,” He turned spitting the words at her. “But I don’t take sloppy seconds. I don’t share like that. So, go back in there with Ryan. I know you came with him.”

“What the fuck Axel?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “First I don’t know where you get off thinking I fucked Ryan and…”

“He had his hands all over you at the movies,” Axel glared at her. “He was making you laugh, and he was groping you and you fucking let him, you bitch.”

“Hold the fuck up Axel. I know what you thought you saw. Why the fuck were you watching anyway and stopped watching right before I grabbed his hand off my thigh and went to sit on the other side of my friends. And my second thing is I don’t want him; I want you, you asshole.” She leans against the wall, “You’re such a fucking dick.”

Axel leans his body onto hers against the wall as he takes her face in his hands making her look up at him. “You didn’t want him to touch you?”

Tears stream down her face, “No, I just want you to touch me.” Her lip quivers.

“I’m a fucking dick,” He leans down closer. “I’m sorry Stephanie, I’m such a jealous fucking dick.”

He kisses her deeply. Her hands ride along his waist.

“Hey, Axel,” Mick screams from the back entrance. “You going to finish your set or are we switching out?”

Axel rest his forehead on Stephanie’s both their eyes closed. “Go get in your spot babe. I need to do one more song for the masses. I’ll come get you when we are done.” He wipes her tears away before heading back inside, “I’m coming, startup Stitch. I got some shit to get out of my system.”

Stephanie composes herself the best she can before going inside.

Bella is waiting at the door. She notices Stephanie’s puffy red eye, “Are you alright baby girl?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She attempts a smile but doesn’t quite have a complete one in her yet. “Let’s go up front where I’m suppose to be for Axel.” She gets right where he can see her. He nods his approval before ripping into the song.

After, they sit on a sofa in the back corner. Stephanie lays on Axel’s shoulder. Most that go by nod a hello. Axel drinks a beer as he runs his hand through Stephanie’s wavy hair.

“Your such a pretty girl Stephanie,” He’s starting to slur his words a little.

“Thanks Axel,” She knows he was the one that said that first when others were calling her pretty.

Todd comes over and sits by Axel. “Everyone good back here?”

“Yeah, Man, we’re cool now.” He leans over and kisses Stephanie softly.

“You driving him home Todd,” She was concerned since Axel seemed to drunk to drive.

“Yeah, I got him Steph.” He took Axel’s beer. “Hey bud let’s take off. We both have normal jobs in the morning.”

Everyone filtered out of the club. Stephanie was the only one awake as she drove Bella, Albre and Ryan home.

#college life #rock life #rocker axel #axel cluney #au #fiction #fantasy #axel and stephanie #bill skarsgård smut #bill skarsgard

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edgarbright · 5 years

Text

Sirius’s Route Parts 22 - 24: Acknowledging Lancelot and Harr

Thank you @mitsuhidethesnek and @thecoolsquirrel for your interest!

This is the whole rambling version. Should I have probably put more thought into organizing this and clarifying ideas? Absolutely! There are particular parts that I want to pull and make into their own unique posts with screenshots to showcase my delight and headcanons, but that’s a job for future me!

Before we begin: a warning. Those who have read my Sirius’s route review might remember that I found Sirius and his route as a whole frustrating. This is still true. In order to talk about Lancelot and Harr here, it is important to talk about Sirius, too. I am quite critical of his actions, however, so please prepare before you proceed.

There are also spoilers mentioned from Lancelot, Jonah, and Loki’s routes.

The Players:

Alice goes to the front lines to bait the Magic Tower. The plan is to expose all the secrets Lancelot and the Magic Tower are hiding as a way to stop the war and to help Sirius. Note that she believes Lancelot was trying to protect her when she was kidnapped, so her intentions are meant to try to help him, too. She depends on her magic-breaking abilities and Sirius to protect her at this confrontation.

Sirius is persuaded by and takes “full responsibility” (part 21) for Alice’s plan. Note he still does not believe what Harr told him 7 years ago: that the Magic Tower and King of Hearts are colluding. He is also surprised by Alice’s suggestion that the Magic Tower might hold power over Lancelot. He does not bring any weapons or defenses or Magic Crystals to the impending confrontation. He depends on his fists and Alice’s spell-breaking abilities and verbal negotiations.

Lancelot has been very ill for at least half the route due to a combination of fighting Harr and his attempt to kidnap Alice. Kyle accompanies him to the front lines on the basis Lancelot can barely walk. This is one route where Lancelot does not intend to attack the Magic Tower at the outset of the war. He plans to go after Amon after the Black Army surrenders--when Amon lowers his defenses to celebrate the victory.

Kyle strong-arms Lancelot into bringing him along to the front lines because he is seriously worried for Lancelot’s health. Staying with his patient, he ends up placed far away from any hospital tents or the Red Army HQ infirmary.

Harr was last seen at his fight with Lancelot in the Garden. The fight exhausted him, but he could have recovered quickly and continued strategizing against the Magic Tower or he could have been recovering, same as Lancelot.

Loki was last seen after Harr returned from the Garden. We see him supporting and helping Harr, and being worried that Harr seemed to have taken a physical and emotional blow from fighting Lancelot.

Amon was last seen visiting Lancelot’s sick bed at Red Army HQ the day before. Lancelot tries to appease him by saying he will deal with Alice and win the war, but Amon has plans of his own. He tells Lancelot to order a full attack on the Black Army immediately, and threatens Lancelot with “the ace... up [his] sleeve” when Lancelot gives push back. Amon, forcing the idea of friendship between them, leaves once Lancelot accepts his terms.

The fighting on the front lines stops when Lancelot approaches Sirius and Alice, who have fought long and hard to reach him.

Sirius: “I'm not here to die, and I'm not here to kill you. [Alice] and I are here to negotiate."

Sirius: “We're hoping for some friends of yours to make an appearance.”

Sirius: "Hey! You're around here somewhere, listening, aren't you? We brought Alice here, since you want her so badly!" There was a triumphant smile on Sirius's face as he shouted the words.

And then Sirius, after provoking the Magic Tower and getting transported to the Magic Tower: "That was a pretty pushy invitation."

His lack of preparation is really astounding, although it’s rivaled by the fact the Magic Tower went on the offensive in front of everybody. But yeah, Team Sirius and Alice are not off to a good start.

Alice is angry that they were spirited away and that she "didn't think to stop [them] in time!" Can’t really blame her though considering this is the first time she’s been allowed to fight. She’s bitten off more than she can chew.

Disciple: "We didn't intend to invite the King of Hearts as well, but I suppose it doesn't matter."

It doesn’t matter because the disciples believe the King of Hearts is their ally. It also won’t matter to Amon because Lancelot is his puppet. Their dismissal of Lancelot is VERY IMPORTANT because it means Lancelot is NOT in danger. The Magic Tower needs him. They don’t intend to hurt him as will be reinforced later.

Sirius: "Lord Amon, is it? So the leader of the Magic Tower himself is the one pulling the strings."

Sirius took on a potential enemy without knowing who was even in charge of the Magic Tower in general... Yeah, OK!

The conversation shifts when Amon refers to Lancelot as his friend.

Lancelot was silent, his expression impassive in the face of Sirius's anger.

All the while Sirius is trying to straighten out all the secrets. Lucky for him Amon is very chatty.

Sirius: "So the real enemy I should be fighting is you-- isn't it, Amon?"

Lancelot: "Stand down, Sirius. You're no match for him!"

Lancelot gives his warning, and Amon ups the ante. But the conversation is as informative as it is trivial because—

Amon: "It's time to resign yourselves to your fates.

Queen of Spades, you will die here.

Lancelot, you will return to the front lines, and crush the Black Army.

And Alice... you will remain here and be my plaything."

Sirius gets some clarification about how Amon means to experiment on Alice—Sirius, where are your priorities!? But Amon’s chattiness continues.

Amon: "I can't let a visitor from the Land of Reason escape me-- not if I'm going to fulfill my true ambition."

Lancelot, surprised: "Your true ambition? I thought all you wanted was to control Cradle."

Amon: "Well, who can say?"

This hints at why Lancelot hasn’t made any progress against Amon in years. Amon holds all his cards to the chest. All Lancelot has been able to do is mitigate the damage and slow processes down, hoping for an opening to attack. There is no opening here when Amon is in control of the situation.

Sirius: "I don't care what your [Amon's] ambitions are. I'm going to end them, here and now." Sirius let go of my hand, pushing me forcefully towards Lancelot.

Meanwhile Sirius goes full shounen.

Alice: "Sirius, what are you doing?!"

Sirius: "Lance, I've decided to trust you. To the end."

Lancelot: "What?"

Sirius: "Both of you, watch my back. [Amon] You're not getting [Alice]. And neither Lance nor I are dying here."

Friendly reminder that Lancelot was never threatened or in danger, but Sirius gets to look heroic by saying it, I guess. A thought is Sirius is using Alice, by pushing her to Lancelot, as his sign of trust considering Lancelot tried to kidnap her to save her before, as Alice theorized. But still. Alice worked hard to convince Sirius to bring her along as a member of the team. Pushing her forcefully away without saying anything to her is not a good look.

Sirius attacks the disciples with his bare hands and kicks. Alice doesn’t hang back and prevents them from using magic against Sirius, which gives him a fighting chance.

Lancelot seems to hang back. He’s still sick and he’s also been placed in an extremely precarious position. To help Sirius fight is to betray Amon, and to betray Amon would mean Sirius and Harr’s souls will be taken if he fails.

At last they [the Disciples] were all left groaning on the floor, and Amon stood alone, the only robed man still standing. I can't believe you just took out two dozen men all on your own, Sirius! And in no time at all!

Sirius: "I hope you're ready, Amon."

Amon: "Did you think owning a weapon is a privilege reserved for the army alone." There was a jeering tone in his voice, and the barrel of a gun glinted in his hand.

Another friendly reminder that Lancelot WARNED that Sirius was no match for Amon.

Sirius: "Ah!"

Amon: "Die, Queen of Spades. This tower will be your grave."

Lancelot: "Sirius!!" Lancelot's howl echoed through the room, and I glimpsed the swirl of his cloak flashing past me.

The roar of gunfire filled my ears, followed by the heavy thud of a body hitting the ground. Red blood spilled across the cold stone floor. But it spilled from Lancelot's shoulder.

Sirius: "Lance?!"

Amon: "What is the meaning of this? Why would you leap to the aid of the Queen of Spades, and take a bullet meant for him?"

This is an odd question by Amon. Did Amon forget he was using Sirius to coerce Lancelot into working with him? He ought to know best that Sirius means something to Lancelot. This could mean Lancelot’s act has worked over the years and Amon has lost interest in using Sirius as a hostage.

Amon: “Lancelot... surely you haven't been deceiving me all these long years, and only pretending to help me, right?"

Lancelot opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a strangled cough.

There might not be any vital organs in the shoulder but you have muscles and blood vessels and nerves and some fragile bone arrangements up in there. The subclavian artery is coming right off the aorta and that’s a high pressure way to bleed out! And while we know he’s bleeding out, there’s a chance of bleeding on the interior, too. Kyle will still have him in a no-visitors state of alert a full day later, and Alice will notice Lancelot looks TERRIBLE. Lancelot, whose body was so weak he could barely walk already, is seriously injured here.

To make matters worse, Lancelot is not mentioned again at ANY TIME after this point. He falls to the ground and is apparently just lying there on the floor, bleeding, quietly suffering, while the rest of the action takes place. His inability to speak earlier might have been him being stunned by the hit but for all we know his continuing silence is the result of going into shock.

This is an awful time to remember all his years of loneliness and self-isolation as he lies dying!

Sirius: "Don't speak, Lance! You don't have to say anything!"

To add insult to injury to this tragedy, Lancelot has been planning to sacrifice his life to save everyone in Cradle one day. But Sirius and Alice forced his hand, and Lancelot is going to die having only saved Sirius for another 10 seconds before Amon’s gun doesn’t miss a second time…

Sirius stepped forward, standing directly between Amon and Lancelot, and it was clear from his expression that he was determined to protect him. He stood silent and tall as Amon turned the gun towards him again.

WYD, Sirius? Sirius is literally bringing fists to a gunfight. Lancelot is also bleeding all over the floor and can someone, idk, help him? Alice? Go put some pressure on the wound or something?

Please remember where Sirius is standing, because someone is going to join him in a minute...

Amon: "It would appear one grave is not enough."

Lancelot’s life holds such little meaning Amon doesn’t even note the loss of his hold over a King and an army. Awful.

Alice attempts to dash forward to protect Sirius (Lancelot’s sacrifice is already forgotten 2 lines later) but due to her trembling legs, tumbles over and loses a shoe. It’s her first fight and she just saw a man get shot, so it’s understandable. I guess.

Sirius: "Stay back, [Alice]!"

Amon: "Farewell, Queen of Spades."

Sirius stood resolute and proud, his gaze fixed on Amon as he protected both Lancelot and I.

??? [Harr]: "That's enough." A bright light filled the room, and a new figure appeared before my eyes.

Harr appearing when the stakes are high like a goddamn hero!

Lancelot sacrificed himself to protect Sirius and now Harr comes in to protect--well, now that’s where it gets really good!

Harr: "Stand back, Alice."

Alice: "Harr?!"

Sirius: "What are you doing here?!"

Harr only glanced at me briefly before walking straight towards Sirius. At the same moment someone else grabbed my hand, helping me to my feet, and I stared at them in confusion.

Harr did not come specifically for Alice. He spares her a glance and leaves her to Loki, who surely bee-lined for her. Loki is always the one watching out for Alice under normal circumstances through various routes.

Harr walks straight towards Sirius but doesn’t speak to him. Is he going to protect Sirius, who is standing in front of a gun with nothing but his fists?

Loki: "Stay here with me, out of the way, okay?"

OUT OF THE WAY WITH ME, because Harr doesn't want Loki fighting, either. Loki is only there as back-up. Harr will protect Loki, who will protect Alice. In Loki's route, Harr didn't bring Loki along to the fight against the Magic Tower. This, however, is a rescue mission, and he could use the help to gather everyone up for transport. We already know from Jonah’s route that Harr keeps a close eye on Cradle so of course he was aware of this group kidnapping from the front.

Alice, to Loki: "And who are you?"

Loki: "Oh, we haven't met, have we, Alice? I'm Loki. I'm Harr's pupil, and his partner in crime!"

(So you're with Harr? That means I can trust you, right?)

Considering Sirius has been thinking Harr was lying for 7 years, this is really cool of Alice. Not very smart of her, though, considering the two times she’s interacted with Harr, he’s been rather confrontational. But I appreciate her willingness to believe Harr and Loki are there to help.

Sirius: "The Cheshire Cat? What are you doing here?"

First Sirius asked Harr that question and now to Loki. This only encourages the idea that Sirius knows next to nothing about Harr. Harr has become an acquaintance at best, dropping off letters with FYIs on them or dropping by in person to provide warnings. Since Sirius decided to believe what Harr told him 7 years ago about 3 minutes ago, you’d think he would understand why Harr is there now.

Loki, smiling at Sirius: "You don't have to glare at me like that!"

Sirius is GLARING at him. Under these circumstances. While Alice accepts they mean to help, Sirius is thinking poorly of their arrival. When there is a gun in his face. He isn’t very good at picking his battles, is he? It’s understandable then why Lancelot would later say he thinks an apron and watering can suit Sirius best (lol).

Loki: "I mean, Harr and I went to all the effort to come and save you in the coolest way possible."

Sirius, shocked: "What?"

He... legitimately didn't think Harr and Loki came to save them when they first arrived...

As we stared at Loki in surprise, he looked around the room, his smile cold and hard.

Loki, frowning now: "It's been a long time since I've been here, but this tower's as depressing as ever."

Harr, determined side look: "Loki, save the chatter for later. Stay focused."

Loki: "Okay, okay." Loki's smile turned cheerful again, and he moved to stand in front of me.

I peered around [Loki's] shoulder, to where Harr stood at Sirius's side, staring at Amon.

REMEMBER THAT SIRIUS IS STANDING IN FRONT OF LANCELOT, PROTECTING HIM FROM AMON.

MEANING HARR WENT TO STAND IN FRONT OF LANCELOT TO PROTECT HIM. I REPEAT, HARR BYPASSES ALICE TO STAND IN FRONT OF LANCELOT.

Sirius is standing in front of Amon’s gun with nothing but his fists and Harr doesn’t even stand in front of him.

Remember Harr told Loki to STAY FOCUSED. This is a rescue mission. Time is of the essence. Lancelot has been on the floor, silent since he got shot, and Alice never mentions him again, meaning Lancelot probably isn’t moving or struggling. Harr looked at the room, assessed who needs his direct protection, and apparently decided it was Lancelot. And he heads straight for him with barely a side glance at anything else.

Amon to Harr: "You have some nerve to stand before me so shamelessly, you outcast. To think you would slip beyond the borders, and waste your time raising a stray cat--"

‘To waste your time’ is curious, and leaves questions about what Harr did in the Magic Tower. He could have done research with them, been one of their experiments, or both.

Loki: "That's right! And thanks to him, I've grown up to be quite a proficient wizard myself!"

(It sounds like you both have some sort of connection to the Magic Tower.)

Loki: "Say, Amon! You didn't even realize we were keeping a close eye on the front lines, did you?"

Loki: "You've spent so long holed up in this smelly tower that your instincts have grown dull! I can't believe you just let us invade you like this!"

This isn't idle chatter—Harr told him to FOCUS. Loki is provoking Amon on purpose, distracting him, riling him up.

Amon: "How dare you--" Amon's voice was thick with anger, and he raised his gun again.

Harr, eyes glowing red: "Don't make another move."

Amon: "Nngh!"

A sudden, furious wind whipped forth from Harr's hand, sending Amon's gun flying away to clatter somewhere out of sight.

Harr went for a push-back spell. Compared to the aggressiveness with which he attacked Lancelot, he seems to be trying to limit the damage to himself and to those around him. He is clearly on the defensive with this rescue mission. This is part of what makes me think Harr was not prepared to take on the Magic Tower at this time. Sirius and Alice’s plan pulled the rug out from under Lancelot and Harr both.

Disciple: "Lord Amon! Protect-- Lord Amon!" One of the fallen men lifted his head, his voice hoarse but desperate, and the others began to wake as well.

Sirius: "These guys are surprisingly stubborn."

The men were still sprawled on the floor, but they raised their Magic Crystals, their gazes focused on Harr.

(Okay, that's not good! Just how strong is your magic, Harr?!)

Harr: "Sirius, we need to retreat for now. Loki, bring Alice here."

This is the first thing Harr says to Sirius since he arrived. Harr has not spoken to Lancelot, but Harr has been standing in front of him this whole time, protecting him. Sirius and Harr are able-bodied but Harr uses his position, by Lancelot, to draw Loki and Alice over. This is surely in respects to Lancelot, who is a grown man and probably shouldn’t be moved in his condition.

Loki: "Got it! C'mon, Alice."

Alice: "Okay!"

Loki grabbed my hand, and we ran over to where Sirius and Harr were standing.

Lancelot isn’t even MENTIONED and it’s BIZARRE. Just a single line noting Sirius crouching down to check on Lancelot would have been nice considering Lancelot saved his life.

Loki, eyes glowing red: "We're ready! Our escape scene has to look flashy, okay?!"

Harr, eyes glowing red: "Hold tight to Loki and I."

My thought of how they are sorted in a circle: Loki-Alice-Sirius-Harr-Lancelot-Loki. We will see, in a moment, Sirius and Alice reaching for each other, so Alice is doubtfully between Loki and Harr. Alice is to hold onto Loki, who held her hand, while Sirius is to hold onto Harr, who is standing next to him. The one who will hold onto Loki and Harr—or rather whom Loki and Harr will need to hold onto—is Lancelot.

Amon: "Stop!!"

Harr and Loki's eyes flashed red, and a brilliant light seemed to swallow us all up.

I'm getting so dizzy! Am I floating?!

Sirius: "[Alice]!"

I could barely see Sirius, but I felt his hand grab hold of mine, pulling me towards him. Then everything went black as I passed out.

Harr has noted Loki’s raw magic in other routes/stories, and we’ve seen Loki’s magic being incredibly strong, so between Harr and Loki’s transport spell, the pressure is surely intense.

Alice wakes up at Red Army HQ. She’s brought up-to-date by Zero.

Zero: "You and Sirius saved King Lancelot's life—the Red Army has no intention of harming you."

I'm sorry Alice and Sirius did WHAT?

Alice: "Wait--what? How long have I been out?!"

Even Alice is confused by this retelling!

Zero: "Long enough. Sirius told us everything."

Sirius you dirty, dirty liar. Sirius and Alice put Lancelot’s life in danger. Harr and Loki saved Lancelot's life—and Sirius’s life and Alice’s life. Harr, who has been a wanted man for 11 years, could use some positive publicity, you know!?

It made sense for Sirius to make up a lie in Lancelot’s route about who saved who what when where, because he was covering up the fact Lancelot passed out from his magic. Although Sirius was 0.2 seconds from leaving Lancelot passed out alone in the woods then, he ended up helping for Alice’s sake. Here though? To me, it looks like he’s spinning this tale to make himself look better. He was the one who wore a “triumphant smile” in front of two armies when he provoked the Magic Tower. He should be ashamed of just how badly things could have gone if Harr hadn’t appeared.

Suddenly it all made sense, and I frowned as memories of what happened in the Magic Tower came flooding back. Honestly, I wish I could forget all of it. That was horrible! But we're free. We're safe. And it was Harr and Loki who saved us.

PLEASE TELL THE RED ARMY THIS, ALICE, I BEG YOU. FIND A NEWSPAPER. GET IT PRINTED.

Zero: "The Joker's magic brought you, Sirius, and King Lancelot here to our headquarters. The Cheshire Cat came to the front lines to let us know, and to take Kyle back to treat King Lancelot. The rest of us turned around and marched straight home. The Joker and the Cheshire Cat apparently vanished again once they'd dropped you and then Kyle off."

I want to put this part into it’s own, special post one day because it’s near and dear to my heart. Of all the places Harr could have taken them, he took them into the heart of enemy territory: Red Army HQ.

This means Harr, who was standing by and protecting Lancelot the whole time in the Magic Tower, prioritized Lancelot’s safety over EVERYONE else's. Harr is a wanted man and Loki is suspicious af and Alice has a target on her back as a threat to the Red Army.

But especially Sirius, the enemy Queen, was dropped right into Red Army HQ – WHEN THE TWO ARMIES WERE ON THE WAR FRONT. How did the Red Army soldiers react to this!? Did Sirius have to hole up in a room to hide?? In the broom closet maybe???

It’s also important to note that Harr brought Lancelot to a safe place and then had Loki bring Kyle to them. Loki leaves after they arrive to go get Kyle from the front lines. We know Loki and Kyle are friends, and it makes sense to send someone whose face isn’t planted all over wanted posters. Kyle was hella pissed that morning so I can only imagine his wrath upon seeing the state of Lancelot now. It’s for the best that Lancelot is probably unconscious at this point.

Actually, Sirius might have lied about the events because of Kyle. Kyle might be a caretaker, but... sound of a gun cocking. You bet Sirius will say he saved Lancelot’s life in order to spare his own. (But if we think that, that’s not heroic at all, either lol)

Meanwhile, Alice has passed out and I want to believe Sirius passed out, too, at least for a few minutes. Even if Sirius is still good to go, I imagine this being like in Lancelot’s Route where his priority is checking on Alice.

Either way means Harr had a one-on-one moment with Lancelot, who is severely wounded. Yes, I do headcanon what kind of look is on Harr’s face and my heart grows three sizes. (This is one of the His POV fics I plan to write up. The initial idea for this post was to show all my canon evidence lol)

Loki returns with Kyle, and Harr leaves it to the expert. Harr and Loki take off without explaining anything further. Alice and Sirius are left behind at Red Army HQ.

Alice: "Wait, is King Lancelot okay?!"

Zero: "He managed to cheat death this time. Although he's only just regained consciousness."

Note that means he was out for a whole day.

Lancelot cheated death --> Harr reached into the jaws of death (read: the Magic Tower) to help pull Lancelot out. Lancelot and Harr might have had a rough hill to climb in this route, but Harr wants Lancelot to live to see better days. Jonah’s route supports this.

Zero's smile deepened, and I sank back against the bed as all the tension drained out of me at last.

Off topic but I just love how Zero is always so good. Always. Zero is the collaboration of Harr, Edgar, and Lancelot’s kindness and it shows.

Alice: "Thank goodness! I'm so glad he's okay!" (If something had happened to him, after all he'd done-- no tears would ever have been enough to lament his loss.)

Alice is valid.

A little more talking, and—

Zero: "Then I'll take you to our infirmary. King Lancelot is waiting for you and Sirius. He said 'I need to tell the both of them everything.'"

Lancelot waited until Alice woke up to talk to Sirius. He put them on an equal level despite his history with Sirius.

Let’s jump to the infirmary—

Lancelot was lying on a bed at the back of the room, his shoulder wrapped firmly in bandages.

Lancelot asks Kyle to step out so he can talk to Sirius and Alice in private.

Kyle: "Sirius and [Alice]--by all rights, he's in no condition to have visitors. Watch him for me, and make sure he doesn't overdo it."

Sirius: "We will."

Me, the narrator: They don’t.

With Kyle having just said he shouldn't be having visitors and Zero noting Lancelot only regained consciousness recently, this is quite possibly Sirius and Lancelot’s first interaction since the Tower.

([Lancelot] You're so pale and drawn. You were already pushing yourself just to stand on the battlefield, weren't you? And then you took a bullet for Sirius. If you'd made one wrong move, you'd be dead by now.)

Recall how Lancelot literally brought his doctor to the front lines with him. Alice even noted Kyle’s presence at that time.

Alice is super valid for acknowledging all that Lancelot has done and has tried to do at the cost of hurting himself. She was also the one to theorize what could be going on with Lancelot, why he’s been acting the way he did, while Sirius didn’t think much about it at all beyond his dislike of it.

Meanwhile Sirius jumps STRAIGHT into a line of questioning. Sirius certainly isn’t one for apologies or thank yous. (On top of the I love yous he won’t give Alice, but I digress.)

Sirius: "All this time you've been struggling like a fool, not saying a word, not telling anyone-- not even me." Sirius's face was twisted with anger and sorrow was he stared down at Lancelot.

Lancelot lay still on the bed, but he met Sirius's gaze directly, never looking away.

Lancelot being so honest and open warms my heart. He’s usually closing his eyes or looking away or being impassive, but not now. Lancelot is so goddamn tired we’ve gotten into the soft, wholesome interior at last.

Lancelot: "Amon is not a man easily deceived. He has eyes everywhere, constantly monitoring everything. A single wrong move would've brought ruin on us all. I couldn't lay such a heavy responsibility on my men."

This would have been a good point to have Sirius look at least a bit ashamed about his brash actions. Or to apologize. Sirius wasn’t wrong to try to force Lancelot’s hand when the battle was about to start, but knowing what he knows now, he could at least acknowledge he didn’t think things through at all.

Lancelot: "I couldn't tell Harr, either. I didn't want him to get dragged any further into the red darkness that's plagued my family for generations. The Magic Tower was still after him, and I thought the only safe place for him was to stay outside Cradle."

His voice was so dispassionate as he slowly revealed the truth of his past that he'd kept hidden for so long. But behind that calm voice, I could sense the loneliness that occupied his heart, as well as the kindness.

Lancelot struggled for so long on his own, trying to protect everyone, and the emotional loneliness made him cold. By driving Harr out of Cradle, he sentenced Harr to a physical loneliness. The whole situation is just so incredibly tragic. Lancelot’s love ended up hurting those he loves the most. And even though Harr was effected the most by him, Harr still prioritized protecting Lancelot in the end, all without Lancelot or anyone else needing to explain anything.

Lancelot: "And there's a very simple and obvious reason why I didn't tell you [Sirius]. You hate war, don't you?"

Sirius: "What?"

Sirius's voice was soft and startled as the word tumbled from his lips. Lancelot's deep blue eyes looked almost gentle as he gazed up at his old friend.

Lancelot: "I don't care how suited your skills are to being a soldier, an army uniform has never suited you. An apron and a watering can-- that's what suits you best."

A simple life for a simple man. Wholesome. Also who brings nothing but fists to a magic/gun fight? Apparently a florist (lmao).

Sirius: "Lance..."

(All this time you've been acting so hostile towards Sirius, and yet this is why. This is what you really wanted for him. To realize his own dream.)

YES, beautiful.

Although it’s disappointing that Lancelot’s own dream, to end the dispute between Red and Black territories, was never taken up by Sirius. Lancelot we know is always looking after both Red and Black Army soldiers--he tries to limit the damage between them. I wish Sirius could have either at least been a little suspicious that this is occurring (Lance stopped another fight??) or tried to soothe the animosity on the Black Army side towards the Reds.

Meanwhile Harr acknowledges Lancelot’s dream (Jonah’s route) but he’s not in a position to do anything about it beyond interacting with Lancelot directly. Harr tries to use both the carrot and the stick (lol).

Alice: "King Lancelot... I'm so sorry for the awful things I said to you, in the forest. I was so angry, and I really thought you didn't understand how Sirius felt. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Lancelot: "You don't need to worry about that, Alice. I was annoyed, but-- I was also glad. Glad that Sirius had someone like you at his side." I'd never seen Lancelot smile like that, and it made me feel better, but a moment later his smile faded again, his gaze dropping away.

Lancelot just wants his friends to be safe and happy... Now that Sirius has wrung out all the information, he doesn’t have anything to say about wanting Lancelot to find happiness, too...

Lancelot: "When you first came to Cradle, and my underling tried to attack you without my permission, they reported to me that Sirius was guarding you. Knowing that, I felt sure you'd be safe from harm."

Lancelot: "But eventually the Magic Tower caught wind of your existence. Even a man like Sirius is no match for them. I took you because I thought you'd be safer her, where I could see you."

Sirius is a fine protection against army grunts but he’s also the type of man to bring fists to a magic/gun fight, so Lancelot's assessment is absolutely correct.

Note in Loki's route, Lancelot is so incredibly OK with leaving Alice in Loki’s (and Harr's) care that he revokes the order for her capture.

Lancelot: "But clearly you are not a woman who needs protecting." I'd already guessed his reasoning, but to hear it said aloud, in such a soft, pained voice, made my heart ache.

I’m sorry, which woman? Her legs were trembling so much she fell and lost her shoe in the big climatic fight. Both Sirius and Harr told her to stand back and Loki went to protect her. But Lancelot was probably unconscious so of course he doesn’t know this part (lol).

Also the fact that Sirius told everyone Alice and he saved Lancelot, Lancelot might be saying this based off a lie...

Lancelot: "I thought that if we attacked the Black Army and forced them to surrender, Amon would be so overjoyed that he'd become careless. In that moment, I intended to take him down, even if it meant sacrificing myself. But things didn't go as planned."

Technically this misadventure did save Lancelot's life, because Lancelot planned to go it alone to take on Amon. He only made it out alive because of Harr, though.

In this house we love and support Harr, who is a true hero.

Although keep in mind that AMON IS STILL AT LARGE. He has not been defeated. Why he didn’t destroy Cradle or start going after all the soldiers when he swore he would is rather curious.

Lancelot clenched his hand into a fist, his expression twisting as he stared down at his white knuckles.

(How much have you sacrificed, to protect those around you? Yet you were willing to sacrifice more-- to give up everything.)

Harr is literally being kept in exile because of Lancelot. Lancelot is hurting Harr every day to save him. Lancelot is hurting himself time and time again to fend off Amon's attacks. Lancelot turned his back on Sirius, his best friend, to keep him out of this mess completely. Lancelot even refers to himself as a beast in his own route for having taken Amon’s hand, even though he had no choice but to do so.

Lancelot did give up everything. Everything but the army he hoped would lead Cradle to a better future after he died.

He gave up everything but Harr made sure he didn’t give up his life.

Sirius: "Because I left my dearest and most valued friend all alone, for all those long years."

The smudged, forgotten writing on Sirius’s hand: ham

#ikerev spoilers #my ikerev #lancelot kingsley #harr silver #harlance #sirius oswald #sirius's route #when i say rambling i mean rambling #long post

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otome-reviews · 6 years

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SLBP: “When Fate Brought Me To You” Kenshin, Inuchiyo, Saizo Review [SPOILERS]

I’m just gonna save y’all some reading time and state outright that I wasn’t nearly as huge a fan of the second half of When Fate Brought Me To You as I was of the first. So if you just got started on the event, go for Shingen/Kojuro/Nobunaga! You won’t be disappointed. :)

Kenshin’s event story begins with a forest encounter between MC and a short-haired and bleeding Kenshin, who’s mesmerized by a butterfly, and bandages him. In turn, K warns her about kidnappers in the area. Because MC’s super good at heeding warnings, the next day she sets out for Echigo by herself close to sunset (she plans to work for a relative’s restaurant), only to get almost immediately kidnapped. Surprise, surprise. She’s taken to the castle of a fat lord (who looks suspiciously like magistrate) - the guy’s building an unwilling harem, basically. The night the lord “requests” MC’s company, she hears fighting outside, and cleverly uses the cover of chaos to make her escape.

Unfortunately, she runs into the same group of retainers who kidnapped her in the first place, but just as she’s about to fight them (heavily outmatched, might I add), Kenshin shows up like a beautiful avenging angel and cuts them all down. He’s then tracked down by Kanetsugu and takes MC to his camp, where all the other ex-members of the harem are chilling. At first, MC’s worried that she’s just swapped one rapey lord for another, but thankfully, Kenshin’s so totally not into that shit. He escorts the women to their ultimate destinations, and MC begins working at her relative’s restaurant. Kenshin and a retainer visit one day, and we learn that young Kenshin is generally full of ennuie. In fact, K all but states in a later meeting with MC (in a forest...again) that he’s pretty much only into flowers and butterflies. By the end of the story, it’s clear that even from a very young age, the task of keeping Kenshin somewhat in line has fallen to poor Katnetsugu (“You know very well that you would get lost in your own clothes if we were not there to help you”).

This route gave us an interesting look into younger Kenshin. I’ve only gone through his prologue in the main story, but here Kenshin comes across as a little less kind, and substantially more disconnected from the real world. So overall, in terms of romantic potential, the event route sucked, and I’m really not sure why MC always wants to travel alone given how many rapists/thugs exist in these stories. But it was a fun read, and spacey Kenshin is always a treat!

Personal enjoyment: 7/10

Spoiler alert: I spent pretty much the entirety of Inuchiyo’s route yelling expletives at the dude. So...the story begins with Keiji happy eating his way through all the food at MC’s restaurant. MC chases a non-paying customer and runs right into none other than her old friend Inuchiyo. MC’s delighted but Inuchiyo’s super rude (“I’m not the Inuchiyo you knew anymore”). Undeterred, MC makes a little bento box full of ohagi, aka his favorite treat, for him. But when greeted with the lovely sight, he f*&@ing SLAPS THE OHAGI OUT OF MC’S HAND I SHIT YOU NOT. THIS IS A CARDINAL SIN. And then because MC’s spineless, she freaking apologizes for bothering him. Some men come hunting for I and K, so the asshole decides to walk MC back to her restaurant all while breaking her heart some more: “You and I are nothing to one another. I’ll never look after you again.” Go stab yourself with a fork, Inuchiyo. >[

Keiji brings the empty bento box over to MC the next day, telling her that Inuchiyo thought they were delicious. Which means that after ungraciously slapping the food out of MC’s hand and onto the ground, he then ate it all. Gross. Moved, for some bizarre reason, MC asks K to pass along the precious hairpin that her father gifted her before dying. What. Later, some thugs looking for MC visit her restaurant and bully her into going along with them, and instead of yelling for help like a normal person, she follows along like an idiot, and gets chloroformed. Shocker. Eventually, Inuchiyo shows up and beats the living daylights out of the thugs, all while making sure MC takes it as unromantically as possible (“I didn’t do this for you. I was just teaching those bastards not to follow us around”). The story ends with Inuchiyo and Keiji getting kicked out of their inn for being disruptive, and MC’s mom helping them find temporary lodgings.

...WTF Inuchiyo. I honestly really liked the guy in the other two events I’ve seen him in, but he was just offputtingly rude in this one. Not to mention that physical violence as a form of communication (aka slapping the bento box) is never ok. Can’t believe MC put up with it. Blehhh gross.

Personal enjoyment: 0/10

Every time Saizo shows up in an event, I end up super confused. This one’s no exception. Here, rumors of a Robin-Hood style murderous samurai has been sweeping Kyoto. In the meanwhile, MC’s been asked to help out at Yugiri, a trendy new restaurant in town. To my surprise, Yugiri ended being actually a legitimate restaurant, run by none other than Saizo...! Who knew the guy had “visionary restauranteur” listed under the extracurriculars section of his resume? As the days pass by, MC and Saizo speak a little (he’s masquerading as “Genji” again), and bafflingly, we learn that there might be something going on between S and a waitress. This little side plot never gets resolved, however, because MC gets distracted by the PILE OF DEAD BODIES she encounters while walking home from work one day. Saizo’s responsible, of course, but he’s wearing a mask, so MC fails to recognize him. In the end, S and MC have some more weird conversations, and MC gets the distinct impression that “Genji” is a lot darker than he might appear at first glance. In any case, he asks her to work at Yugiri for good, and she agrees. Fin.

So many unresolved plotlines. The random maid/S’s love interest?, Saizo’s random physical illness, Saizo’s real identity, the dead bodies... . I get the sense that the writers left many plotlines dangling on purpose, to a) raise S’s mystique, and b) allow the pearled epilogue to explain things. In any case, I wasn’t a huge fan!

Personal enjoyment: 3/10

#slbp #kenshin #inuchiyo #saizo #when fate brought me to you #event #review #slbp kenshin #slbp inuchiyo #slbp saizo

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candimcart · 6 years

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Hello, Hello! So, it’s been a bit since I took the time to blog. Kassie keeps me pretty busy from day to day, especially with Mike working two jobs. But guess what, after a year and 8 months of hustling Mike is finally able to be home with us in the evenings! For awhile he was working seven days and over 70 hours a week with almost zero complaints. He came home from one job, rushed off the second, came home well past his bed time and still made sure to squeeze in time with his little girl. He is seriously, above and beyond an amazing father. But, now the rushing in and out comes to an end. We received our final adoption invoice last month and were able to pay it off the next day! I felt that since so many people were involved with our adoption journey it was best to share our total cost and how we got to that number. I will try to be brief in the only way I know, which is to not to. (Tow Mater? Cars? Anyone?)

Here it is: WAIT! Let me back up!

WE FINALIZED OUR ADOPTION!!!!!!

I was sitting in a movie theater beside my cousin, David watching A Quiet Place when I got the email. I am generally not one of those jerks who checks their phone during a movie but, I knew that on this day a judge would be deciding our fate with Kassie’s biological father. I should have been enjoying the two hour mommy break and cringing at the monsters that hunt noise but instead, I was spaced out focused on my thigh where my phone was sitting silently. When I felt the buzz I grabbed my phone and with the screen light turned all the way down read the words ” Biological Father has had rights revoked today. We can finalize!” Of all the movies I chose to loudly sob in, why did it have to be one that’s main theme is silence? I remember my cousin leaning over to ask if I was okay and I just whispered “She’s ours” and for the rest of the movie I just keep saying to myself “She’s ours” in disbelief.

Finally Forever Family May 18th, 2018!

If you don’t know me personally you may not understand that I am a crier. I’m a sentimental and angry crier. I don’t cry over sadness like I do over happiness (and at times, madness.) Well, this was the happiest day of my life. The judge said “Are you ready? Raise your right hands.” and I lost it. Shortly after, Mike did too. I love him so much for not being afraid to cry in public.

We found the perfect little shelter at the perfect little park but it only came with a 40 person limit. I cried about that. Narrowing it down from the few hundred people who joined us on our journey was not fun for us at all. But, we did our best and hopefully no one was hurt along the way.

The turnout was wonderful as well as the cake and cupcakes by Aunt Brandy. Bampaw and Bammaw surprised us with a big star cut out of a sheet for all of our friends and family to encircle for a photo shot on my Dad’s new drone. It was a wonderful way to celebrate such a long awaited end to our journey and allow for our brand new journey to begin.

Okay, here it is! Drumroll please…

$8,280.22!!!!

What? How is that even possible? Every website. Every agency. Every person. They all said $25,000-$55,000 in our state so how did we get away with $8,280.22 for our entire adoption? Well, there are several reasons that led to this for us and they are NOT as uncommon as you (I’m talking to you waiting adoptive parents) are told.

1: The stars aligned. (They can for you too, waiting parents!)

2: Bio Mom refused counseling. She was very confident and happy with her decision.

3: Bio Mom refused an attorney.

4: Bio Mom had her own insurance.

5: Bio Mom did not request any financial assistance other than $50 in gas to drive from her home to our city for TPR (Termination of Parental Rights).

6: Our Attorney was AMAZING! He is a well known Adoption Attorney in OK and he is well recognized nationally as well. He and his wife run their adoption agency which began after they adopted their daughters in the 80’s. They are hugely responsible with changing laws and adoption practices in Oklahoma. He will absolutely not take a dime from his clients until shortly before baby is due, or in our case the day baby is born. We handed him $3500. He and his wife Linda met us at the hospital with all of the paperwork ready to be signed. They seriously made this process so easy which would have been a hundred times easier had I not tried to control everything. The day they came to the hospital our attorney had to get right in my view and say “You are Mommy now. That is the number one job for you. We will be the attorneys. You just go home and be a regular Mommy now. Trust us.” I didn’t feel like I was being a control freak but if nothing else he probably saw my nerves rattled to the bone. He knew just what to say, I took his advice and I found my peace in that moment. I find it very important that every choice you make when on this journey feels like “home”. You will know that feeling when it hits you. If you make a decision and it doesn’t have that comfortable, “I’m home” feeling, change it! This is how we chose our adoption attorney and our home study worker. With that being said and out of the way, if you are looking for an adoption attorney start here: Swain Law, Adoption Attorney!

7: This may make me unpopular (not that I care) and this is coming from my personal experience combined with the experience of other adoptive parents I have gotten to know… Agencies, some…most…all (?) may have the best intentions but they don’t make money off of expectant mothers who choose to parent their child. Adoption Agencies are businesses and just like every other business they need to have income to survive. They also rule the marketing world for adoption. Google “How do I adopt?” and you you will be swarmed with agencies and guidelines that all tell you going through a private adoption like ours will end in heartbreak more often than not. Well, let me tell you. I was in the biggest adoption group on Facebook and guess what I learned… “Adoption Disruptions” are not any more common with private/attorney adoption versus agency adoption. I have seen couples shell out $3,000 and up (way up) to get he ball rolling on adoptions via agencies and the expectant mother decides to parent. I have seen babies go to adoptive homes and the biological mother decide to parent. Guess what happens? Adoptive parents are forced to return what has already been their baby and they, in most cases are out the money spent. I have seen adoptive parents lose their entire savings and end up childless and broke leaving them with only one choice: find away to be satisfied never being parents. I saw it more times than I ever thought I would. We are so lucky that we chose to have all avenues open for us. We chose to start the process with finding an expectant mother while fundraising and saving for an agency (before I know what I know now about agencies). Some couples refuse to even go the route we did for fear of disruption and STILL end up with the heartbreak of a disrupted adoption.

I made sure to listen and absorb every story I could, not only from adoptive couples and waiting couples but from adoptees and biological parents. When we began our journey I had no clue what the Adoption Pyramid was nor did I care. I just wanted to be a Mommy… NOW. My heart was getting bitter and nothing mattered more to me than being someone’s Mommy. I am so glad that I learned all about the pyramid through hours and hours of reading posts, listening to podcasts, reading blogs, watching videos, etc. Having that knowledge BEFORE Kassie was born has very much changed the path of our adoption. We didn’t just gain a daughter, we gained another family. Her biological family is our family now too. I hope they always choose to be in our lives. Okay, I trailed off as I do. I am fortunate to have used the resources available to me to learn all about the importance of the pyramid. I listened to so many adoptees and biological mothers tell their stories. So often, the biological mothers have gone through the agencies instead of privately finding a couple like Kassie’s bio family did. They go through the agencies because they feel safer, they feel like the couples are screened better, and there is less chance of anything going wrong. Unfortunately they (their words, not mine) are manipulated into placing their child when they are vulnerable and unprepared to make that huge decision. You know what…this may just be a blog for another time. I am sure I will be attacked for saying these things that I learned in the dark and speaking them into the light. So let me stop with full intention to bring this to light another time when I am better able to articulate what I mean.

So here is a final recap:

Adoption Method: Private Infant Domestic Adoption

Timeline:

June 6th, 2017: Began spreading our story and calling for Star Hunters to help get the word out.

July 27th, 2017: Contacted through our blog by Bio Grandmother.

October 2017 (week of Oct 25th) Paid $3500 to Swain Law.

October 25th, 2017: Kassie is born!

October 31st, 2017: Bio Mom signs TPR.

May 18th, 2018: Adoption is Finalized!

Total Amount Raised: Just under $4,000 if I recall(I can’t get into my office right now to grab the fundraiser papers so I will edit in the exact number when I can!

Total Amount Saved: just over $5,000!!!

Total Cost: $8,280.22!

So, there it is. THANK YOU ALL AGAIN for joining us on our journey in whatever way you did!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

-Mommy, Daddy, & Kassie Too

The Final Bill Hello, Hello! So, it's been a bit since I took the time to blog. Kassie keeps me pretty busy from day to day, especially with Mike working two jobs.

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perfectirishgifts · 3 years

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Building A Leading ESports Organization. An Exclusive Interview With Adrian Montgomery, CEO Of Enthusiast Gaming

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/building-a-leading-esports-organization-an-exclusive-interview-with-adrian-montgomery-ceo-of-enthusiast-gaming/

Building A Leading ESports Organization. An Exclusive Interview With Adrian Montgomery, CEO Of Enthusiast Gaming

I recently had the privilege to sit down (well share a Zoom call!) with Adrian Montgomery, Chief Executive Officer of Enthusiast Gaming. It is not often as a writer you get direct, unfiltered access to the CEO of one – if not the – leading company in its space, let alone for it to be in my favorite sector – eSports!

For those still unfamiliar with Enthusiast Gaming (as I realize not all of you are quite there on eSports yet! Time to get on-board now though, huh?), the company’s aim is to “build the world’s largest platform of communities for gamers and eSports fans”.

It is already the largest gaming network in North America and the UK with 100 gaming related websites, 1,000 YouTube channels, 7 professional eSports teams and over 30 virtual and in-person gaming events globally such as EGLX, (eglx.com) and the largest mobile gaming event in Europe, Pocket Gamer Connects. The platform reaches over 300 million gamers each month, generating an average of 4 billion views of content each month.

Enthusiast Gaming EGLX

Enthusiast Gaming also has approximately 500 gaming influencers, reaching over 500 million subscribers on Twitch and YouTube. Enthusiast Gaming’s eSports division, Luminosity Gaming, has over 70 million loyal fans and followers, and is a leading global eSports franchise that consists of 7 professional eSports team, including the Vancouver Titans Overwatch team and the Seattle-based Call of Duty team. Yes, wow.

Enthusiast Gaming Vancouver Titans

Before joining Enthusiast Gaming, Adrian was a senior officer and director of several companies in media, sports and entertainment, finance and industrial services — most recently serving as president and CEO of Aquilini Sports and Entertainment, one of Canada’s premier sports and entertainment organizations. Adrian’s personal passion for eSports clearly jumped off the screen as we got talking about how he became involved in eSports one fateful day when he had a very different type of rental inquiry for their 20,000 seat arena.

“I had just read an article about eSports, and one of my guys phoned me and said “You know how you were interested in eSports? Well, these guys are coming in – do you want to come on the site tour?”. Well, it turned out we had this opportunity to host the biggest eSports event in the world – the DOTA 2 International run by Valve – that was coming out of Seattle for the first time. I came down and met these three guys, who were acting as if they were in charge of FIFA or the SuperBowl or something! “Take that down, move that, block that off, our crew needs this…”. I was getting a little frustrated and keen to try to put them in their place, saying ‘Hey, so what exactly is the prize purse for this little rinky-dink tournament right? “$33 million dollars (USD)”. Oh my god! So, I went back at the end of the site tour and said, alright, there is clearly something here!”

Despite several doubters among traditional hirers of the venue and concerns on the complexity of the set-up and all its incredible visual effects, the event went ahead. The entire building sold out in one hour for six straight days, the city of Vancouver became overrun with cosplay wearing, DOTA 2 fans and Adrian’s team could not get into their offices as fans lined up were around the block to get in. So how did the DOTA 2 team achieve this? A complex, multi-layered, omni channel marketing campaign?

“It is almost impossible to sell out a 20,000 seat arena for six days. So I asked the organizers, “I’ve got to know – what is the marketing plan here? They said, “look dude, we’ve got it covered,” to which I replied with, “look, I might be fired tomorrow so you’ve got to give me something.” To my surprise, they said “Ok, you want to know the plan, ok, here is the plan. First we are going to send out a Tweet…” and I said “Ok.. and?” and they responded with – “That’s it, that’s our marketing plan.”

This moment saw the company’s 87-year-old multi-billionaire owner task Adrian with getting into this brave new world of eSports.

“What did you do? And whatever you did, we need to get all of the way into this industry.” A month later they bought an Overwatch team, then Luminosity Gaming and the rest is history”

Enthusiast Gaming Event

Fast forward to today, in asking what now sets Enthusiast Gaming apart, without hesitation Adrian cites the company’s singular focus on its fans.

“We feel no-one is as obsessively focused on the fan experience as we are. The thing that makes us so different to anyone else in the space is that we are not trying to dominate a vertical; we are not trying to just be an eSports organization, a collection of websites, or a tournament organizer – we want to build value right across the fan experience. If you are a super-keen EPIC Games’ Fortnite player who has logged-off, the beauty of this gaming phenomenon is that you are not then ‘done’ – you go to Twitch where – obviously! – we want you watching our Fortnite streamers Muselk and Fresh, when you go to YouTube, we want you to go to the biggest Fortnite YouTube channel in the world – our channel, BCC Gaming, if you want to see what EPIC Gaming is up to next, we want you to then come to one of our events and see their booth up-close. It is all highly integrated – and hopefully a lot of fun also!”

While it is clear Enthusiast Gaming connects with its fans in a very genuine way and has built meaningful relationships, you would be forgiven for thinking there is a significant marketing machine behind this growth – and a bit like how Adrian was surprised about the DOTA 2 event, you may also be surprised to learn they’ve done it in a purely organic, authentic way.

“The thing that blows people away – and is routed in our content and approach – is when I tell them we don’t spend a single cent in acquiring or keeping that traffic coming back. They won’t believe it. Building a world-class business routed in user-generated content is definitely a very hard thing to do – and when you succeed it is a very hard thing to explain! There is a lot of art as to how it’s curated, how its presented, but when you can do it well, the sky is the limit for you in terms of possibilities.”

For all of its growth, gamers can still be seen to be misunderstood as a community. Of the 300 million active base the company has, many falls into the cliched ‘hard to reach’ segments – of Millennials, GenZ & Gen-A, and that are so attractive to brands.

Enthusiast Gaming Event

“They are the world’s most lucrative demographic because they have a lot of purchasing power. They don’t have their money sucked away by these things called children and mortgages. If you are a company, you are no doubt trying to get them into your world at a very early point in their buying lifecycle. What people don’t really understand is that with any traditional sports would kill for the demographics of an eSports fan – they are a little bit older than you think – typically being in their 20’s; they have more disposable income than other traditional sports fan but then, they are elusive – they just don’t consume content the way I did in 20 years ago!”

Enthusiast Gaming is already partnering with the likes of Gillette, Proctor and Gamble, GoDaddy, and Pizza Hut. However, Adrian was clear that other brands need to realize that gaming is not a hobby for many millions – billions of people.

“eSports is more than a hobby for gamers – it’s a way of life. It’s their identity, it’s their social network, and it’s their method of expression. eSports and gaming is going to continue to skyrocket, and people are realizing how pervasive it is in people’s lives. What I’ve seen change this year – and I can tell you which is one of the most exciting things for our industry today – is that most marketing directors now know if you need to communicate with young people, you simply must have a video game strategy. eSports has made quantum leaps during the recent pandemic.”

With the likes of GenZ’s being highly influenced by the people they follow on social media, it just so happens that their heroes– and some the biggest stars on social media – are gamers. Enthusiast Gaming sponsors some the biggest athletes, recently signing one of the biggest content creators on Twitch – xQc – who has a community of 100,000 concurrent viewers every night. The company is also focused on developing the next generation of talent. Recently creating the “Rising Stars” competition, Enthusiast Gaming sought to leverage its incredible platform to create a “star-making factory” and find and develop the next gaming superstars of tomorrow.

“We are trying to create ‘The Voice’, we’re trying to create ‘American Idol’ for gamers. We recently had a five-week competition with all entries judged by stars on our roster like xQc, Muselk, Anomaly, and Fresh sit on as judges. We recently concluded the competition at the 2020 Enthusiast Gaming Live Experience (ELGX), where BabyCappah took the title and a $100,000 USD sponsorship with Luminosity Gaming. We are creating something of a Simon Cowell fuelled concept here…and I think we are going to be very successful with it!”

BabyCappah will actually become a fully-fledged member of the Luminosity Gaming roster. In true entrepreneurial style the company had originally beta-tested the concept with a smaller version called ‘So You Think You Can Stream’.

“The incredible gamer who won is actually quadriplegic – RockyNoHands – we made the decision instantly to sign him to Luminosity Gaming. We are so proud to be associated with him. He is an incredible example of how we can hopefully convince people with disabilities to engage more with eSports with him as a leading ambassador – it is very exciting to see the impact eSports can have.”

We all hear the eye-popping statistics about how big the gaming industry is. From Activision, to Tencent, to EA to biggest companies on the planet – Amazon, Facebook and Google – vying to be THE broadcast platform for the content is clear that there is still so much growth in eSports. This is true for Enthusiast Gaming which has also recently completed others acquisitions, and with the company planning to list on NASDAQ, and launching a free Ad-Supported Streaming TV Channel – BCC Gaming – with Samsung TV Plus. So – what’s next?

“What is next is for us to sell our content – using elements such as subscription. We believe we can take a userbase and turn it into a marketplace. Why can’t we have an App Store? Can we connect these communities and people together and make a social media network of our own even – that is all ahead of us. I always tell my team, while we are building a company called Enthusiast Gaming, we are also helping to build an industry – and the rules are being written as we speak. The plane is getting configured in flight and there are people like us, like FaZe Clan, and all of the other publishers collectively building something incredible. To have people like you helping get the word out and for taking us seriously really means a lot and it is very exciting times ahead.”

It is clear from talking to Adrian that there is an incredible opportunity for brands to engage through eSports provided they are happy to mirror Enthusiast Gaming’s authentic approach. As a CEO, Adrian is a leader driving everyone forward in an open, honest and authentic way and clearly runs a very collegiate, interactive and respectful organization that every company can learn from. It is clear Enthusiast Gaming will be a major part of eSports’ continued growth and I’ll be watching with great interest.

From Media in Perfectirishgifts

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outdoorguyuk · 5 years

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Wye Boyo, Wye?

I know I keep banging on about it, but being unable to walk for a year got me itching to get out. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I got into climbing in a big way and have managed to do some short runs (10k and under, with a single 18k run) but I’m still not too confident my knee is fully ready for running regularly. I’ve been dying to do a fastpacking trip, however decided that for the time being hiking, wild camping and climbing would have to do.

Deciding it’d be good to catch up with some of the Gosport boys, I sent a few invites, with Matt & Joe saying they were up for it. Matt had recently had surgery on his knee after a split meniscus so was in a similar state to me, which was a good thing in many ways. God we’re old. I decided that seeing as Matt lives in Bristol and Joe’s in Gosport, the Wye Valley would be an easy place to meet & hike. The Wye Valley is stunning, fairly wild, not too mountainous but with some lovely hills, well forested with a huge water source flowing through the middle. Not to mention some great pubs. Matt lives in Bristol, Joe was coming up from Gosport and me from London, so it was probably the closest location of the sort for all 3 of us.

Joe and I arranged to meet at 7pm in Chepstow and miraculously arrived 5 minutes apart which was a good omen. We parked the cars up in a side street and decided to go for a few pints, leaving our gear in the car. I’d scoped out the Three Tuns, a lovely pub right by Chepstow Castle with the friendliest staff, awesome local beers (very affordable too) and a great beer garden. About 7 pints and a few rums later, the pub closed, we were turfed out and decided to get our gear and start the hike. Obviously I’m sure you can see the potential for things to go wrong here.

Lads lads lads! Dogs dogs dogs! Chepstow massive.

Somewhere, during the first and last drink, Joe realised that he had forgotten a minor bit of kit. No biggie, it was only his sleeping bag, the tit. We got to the cars to pick up our gear and he managed to find a blanket to strap to his backpack. I probably hadn’t mentioned but Ripley my dog was also with us, and she was also super hyped for a drunk hike through the forest.

The Three Tuns - Ace boozer, ace beer, ace staff.

I had probably over estimated how easy it would be to find somewhere to camp. The only wide open spaces on the first many drunk kms of the hike were cow fields with grumpy looking bulls, farmers fields full of crops or a massively overgrown Offa’s Dyke Path with high fences on either side.

The entire way Joe was roasting me as I’d been giving it the large one about my new Black Diamond Storm head torch (review to follow), as my Silva Trail Runner 2 had died after years of abuse. The damned thing didn’t work at all and looked like I’d strapped a tea light to my head. Luckily Ripley seemed to instinctively know to follow the trail and dragged me along safely/drunkenly in her wake.

After many kilometres and over 3 hours, we finally found somewhere to camp in forested area, set up the tents & fired up the Primus Lite stove for a couple of drinks before bed. I was using my trusty Coleman Raid for Ripley and me, while Joe had bought the amazingly priced (£19.99) Decathlon Arpenaz 2 man tent (which only weighs 2.2kg, great at the price).

Get off the tent Ripley. Man’s best friend they said. Dick.

I had an amazing night sleep, as did Ripley. Joe suffered the entire time, which was amazing and definitely karma for him being mean about my head torch. It turns out the blanket he picked up whilst spannered, turned out to be really thick, but really small and just about covered one of his legs. Basking in the glow of his suffering and my comfort, I decided to have a look at my head torch and it turns out I don’t know which way batteries are supposed to go around when I’m completely munted. The Black Diamond Storm lit up the trees like a miniature sun in my hand and all was well in the world. I knew this was going to be a good day.

Joe, Ripley and I decided to set off without further ado, as we’d planned to meet Matt in a car park approximately halfway between Chepstow & Symond’s Yat. We had an amazing hike, the scenery was stunning, and we got to see a few of the climbing areas around Ban-y-Gor, Wintour’s Leap & Tintern Quarry. We even found a place called the Devil’s Pulpit and after Googling it, this turns out to just be a square rock on the footpath, but we assumed it was the tree that seemed to have turned into a giant rock with some sort of weird pagan clearing & steps vibe going on right behind us.

Feeling Cute. Might do a sacrifice and delete later.

Being the planner I am, I’d decided that a mid morning stop at a boozer with maybe something for the hair of the dog and a bite to eat might be in order. The Brockweir Country Inn was at a good point on our route and looked stunning. Unfortunately, when we got there, they had lynched a hiker from the top window and the man scouring the brickwork in a painstaking effort to bring the pub back to its former glory, informed Joe that it was closed for the first time in 400 years. Just our bloody luck. The next boozer was miles along the hike if we didn’t want to take a huge detour. Still, the chap was kind enough to fill up my backpack bladder, so onwards and upwards.

The valleys are dark, the hills have eyes #lynching

Following on from Brockweir, most of the steep inclines and declines were behind us and the Offa’s Dyke trail opened up some stunning & picturesque wide open views as we hiked along the riverside. Our progress was much faster unimpeded by hills and we made good time before stopping for lunch at Bigsweir Bridge. Joe and I cracked open our freeze dried foods, fired up the ridiculously fast Primus Lite stove (seriously, this thing is ace) and chowed down. I also took pleasure in pointing out that my 1000kcal Expedition Foods were not only tastier, but considerably better value for money than the Decathlon 600kcal packs. We didn’t give ourselves much time to eat as Matt was due at the Cadora Woods car park just up the road and we realized we didn’t have any reception at all.

Lunch at Bigsweir with the Primus Lite stove! My Expedition Foods are bigger than yours, and I’m like...

Miraculously, we got to the car park (only 20 minutes late), sat down for 5 minutes and panicked a bit trying to work out how to get a hold of Matt, when he rocked up in his car. Thank God. With the team assembled we took stock of our situation - having realised that there was a hog roast and mini beer festival with local bands in Redbrook (we saw an advert on the bridge a mile earlier) it was obviously something we couldn’t miss, however it was still quite a hike there. If we were going to spend any meaningful time there, we decided it’d be best for us to skip a leg of the trail, head there in Matt’s car and leave it there so we had transport closer to Symonds Yat. Fate was on our side.

Gspot Squad all up in your hogroast!

Arriving in Redbrook, we were a bit disappointed to see that the festival appeared to be predominantly populated by small children. I’m ok with this when I’ve got mine with me, but looks a bit weird when you don’t. Still, after we’d parked up and got some stuff from the village shop, the number of adults had increased so we dived right in. Local beers were on tap for an amazing £2.50 a pint from a local brewery. The bands were good, people were lovely and it was too tempting to stay, but we had a mission to complete and wanted to get some climbing along the way, so we decided to get our skates on and head uphill into the forest.

The last thing Matt’s victims saw

The trek through the forest towards Symonds Yat turned out to be considerably more steep than we expected. Perhaps it was having had a few beers in the sun, but it was a bit of a shock. It shouldn’t be, as I can read a map, but I’m an optimist and often suffer as a result.

We followed the official border between England and Wales, having departed from Offa’s Dyke (the old border) and were rewarded by some truly stunning views. I had hoped to visit Rodge Wood along the way where (I found on the amazing UKClimbing site) there was apparently some good bouldering, but we somehow missed it and decided to carry on. Continuing along the border, we continued our search for the famous Suckstone (jokes ahoy, boom boom). The suckstone is apparently the UK’s biggest boulder and it didn’t disappoint. Walking along the path, we spotted it jutting out amongst the fronds and Ripley shot off to investigate.

The sight of the famed Suckstone from the trail! #winning

One side of the Suckstone is a head height overhang, whilst the other side is a huge slab. Apparently it had been cleaned a few years ago, but unfortunately it was completely covered in moss, making climbing it a little tricky. There are some really nice routes with little crimpy holds, a nice side arete route, and some cracks too. When cleaned I imagine it’d be a nice place to spend a good afternoon climbing but things felt a bit hairy with moss crumbling off the wall on every hand and foot holds.

Posted again, for extra ego - The suckstone. Not nearly as dramatic as this photo suggests but don’t tell anyone.

Further up from the Suckstone is Hearkening Rock, which looked better for trad and top roping so we had a little scout around but as things were getting late, we headed on towards Symonds Yat.

The route was pretty steep and downhill, with our quads really taking the brunt of it. With all 3 of us old men having shot knees (mine from smashing it up skateboarding, Joe from the Brecon Beacons fastpacking trip and Matt from Basketball) things got punishing but we pushed on. At the bottom of the hill, we found a nifty rope bridge leading to a scout camp at Biblins Cave and followed the trail around to Symonds Yat.

Symonds Yat is quite a strange place. It’s a bit hobbity with everyone living by the river on steep hillsides, with little rope pulley boats to take you from pub to pub on either side of the river. Absolutely amazing - boat pub crawl ahoy! Except we’d finally arrived there at 10pm so only had an hour and a half to sink a few at Ye Old Ferrie Inn rather and cross the river to try the Saracen’s head in the morning. As to be expected, we arrived 3 minutes after the chef had closed down the kitchen so the pub were kind enough to let us crank up the Primus Lite stove and get some Expedition Food packs down us (mine is bigger than Joe’s #1000k4TW).

Wolfing down as many pints as we could cope with (they had amazing beers there) we decided to hike back up the extremely steep hill that Symonds Yat West is based on and find somewhere to camp. Brutalised by the climb, we arrived at camp stone cold sober and crashed out.

Dog Pillow

We had a great night’s sleep (even Joe seeing as Matt had brought him a sleeping bag) and when Ripley and I woke to get out of the tent, we were confronted by a scene that looked like Jurassic Park. There were giant fronds everywhere, with a huge cliff face surrounding us that we hadn’t managed to notice, even with the sun like beam of my new Black Diamond Storm head torch. It turns out that we had inadvertently camped in the middle of Bailey Quarry without realising - what a stroke of luck!

After packing up the tents, we decided to have a bit of a climb. Bailey Quarry has got a number of fantastic trad routes of varying grades, but as we didn’t have any kit beyond shoes, we decided to have a bit of fun soloing the routes up as far as we were comfortable. It’d be cool to come back and try these top roping which we’re planning to do later in the year.

Heading off back down the hill, we reached the rope ferry and crossed over to the Saracen’s Head pub to get a bit of mid morning lunch. We didn’t want to spend too long here (despite the pub, food, beer and view being second to none) as we were pushed for time and wanted to check out some of the bouldering up the hill in Symonds Yat proper, with still having quite a long hike back to the car in Redhook, so we stuffed down a meal and a pint before heading off.

The hike up the hill was steep but not too far, although some of the road hiking was a little hairy. We got back on the trail and wandered around, managing to find a few of the cliffs and some boulders probably a bit above our pay grade.

Despite having two climbing guides, an OS map and GPS on our phones, we struggled to find the boulders we were looking for. Perhaps because we were exhausted, perhaps because we’re useless, or perhaps because we were becoming aware of how short on time we were for the 4 hour hike back to Matt’s car followed by a 30 minute drive back to ours, with a 3:30 drive back to London on the end, we decided to call it a day and start the trek home.

The trek back to the car was probably a bit more arduous than we were expecting.

4 hours later we got to Monmouth and 20 metres from the boozer (of course, a quick pint was necessary) Ripley dropped into a fur puddle on the floor and refused to move. To be fair she’d probably done around 40 miles and hadn’t complained once so fair game. Upon entering the pub and enquiring about taxis, a fella named John at the bar was kind enough to offer us a lift so I put some money (which he had refused) behind the bar for him and we headed off to Redhook.

Rippers, doing the butterfly chicken, I’m not moving another inch pose.

All in all, it was an amazing weekend with the lads and I’m looking forward to more again soon. TBC!

#Hiking #fastpacking #Wyevalley #offasdyke #wildcamping #climbing #sproodles #sproodle #springerpoo #symondsyat #climb

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