AITA for treating some people they way they treated me?

Sorry for bringing twitter drama and for the long ask.

I'm autistic-ADHD and have some past traumas regarding friendships, it's difficult for me to understand some "normal" things as I've been told. Normal things like not replying to a friend for weeks or months, not interacting unless they need something, keeping mutuals despite never interacting etc go over my head. These are all traits of "adult friendship" according to some and we're raised differently I suppose. I'm not talking about forgetting to reply or being busy, I'm also a busy adult and I forget to reply too so please don't feel defensive about that.

I have some mutuals who do all that I mentioned above, but there are 2 people who go Out Of Their Way to not interact with me. They'd go directly to posts I share to retweet, they'd ignore my messages, my own tweets, my replies to them, my replies to Their Questions under My Tweets, any qrt to their tweets.. just all of it, as if they have me blocked.

This had been happening long before For you page became a thing, years of this and no I wasn't shadowbanned my other mutuals interacted just fine. I was probably muted, but they'd share posts that I know wouldn't be on their tl unless they saw me share, trust me on this.

I didn't realize people did this "cool moot" thing until I saw others on twitter talking about how some popular or wannabe popular accounts do this so that You don't feel too important, so you know it's all casual, so that their rare interactions are treasured.

Let's say we 3 had X fandom in common.

These two mutuals, one was new and really invested in X fandom before we met. She barged into my life and said "We Have to be friends!" weeks before she started ignoring me.

The other one, from my country, had been mutual for over a year, and we shared a bunch of fandoms before X came to existence. So we had good reasons to get closer as friends, there was no reason to not respond to me sending normal fanarts and meta stuff, yet xe acted like I was invisible. No indication that my once or twice a week messages, gradually decreasing, were making xem uncomfortable.

What hurt most is how xe'd be all "my mutuals are my besties", "only 10 people from this country's X fandom has braincells and we're always screaming in group chat". Meaning I wasn't even remembered let alone be in xer group.

With xem I felt like I was just there so xe could keep a "trusted" fellow fan in xeir list, as in 'have similar taste, live in the same country, and isn't a bigot'. I've had other mutuals tell me that they did this, keep "trusted" accounts as mutuals, in those cases I didn't mind because of course I wanted the same and we actually talk to each other.

After I figured out I got upset and appalled. I muted the 2 for some time, if I needed to I went and shared posts they retweeted from source without interacting with them. Nobody messaged each other. If you mute on twitter you still get notification for likes, replies etc and I got none from them in that time. After a couple months I quietly softblocked them.

The older mutual tried to follow again because xe thought it was a glitch but I locked xem out. This is the reason I feel a little bad, but xe could have interacted in the whole year we were in X fandom together.

So this is how I lost two mutuals, was I an ass for the months I treated them like that? I doubt they noticed either way.

What are these acronyms?

Melo is My Nature Review

Well, as usual, I’m late to the party! I picked up 2019′s Melo is my Nature/ Be Melodramatic with some trepidation since I was (am!) still smarting a bit from the disappointment that’s Hospital Playlist S2, and I wasn’t quite ready for another. 

I’m so glad I gave it a chance! While it isn’t a “perfect” series- in the nature of the world *sigh*- its combination of quirky, clever, self-aware humour and heartfelt performances won me over from the first episode. 

More thoughts under the cut (along with some spoilers)

I’m very fond of ensemble dramas that love their characters, and “Melo is my Nature” does that very well. Perhaps a little too well, to the point that you feel the writers letting themselves be more than a little indulgent during the middle stretch of the episodes. But I can’t complain too much, because yes, I know the feeling!  “Side characters” that refuse to stay in the lane and take over the narrative are also my favourites, as a writer and a viewer. I loved, loved, loved Lee Joo-bin as the flighty-but-amazingly-smart Lee So-min; that felt like such a delightful  clap-back against the prevailing sentiment that often goes against young, successful women and the ridiculous levels of expectations of them, in how they need to perform gender and  femininity and smartness. I loved that (like Emma! There’s a lot of Jane in this series!) the writers managed to make her likeable even though they never disregard her flaws or its consequences.

 Another performance/ character that I totally adored was Baek Ji-won as Jeong Hye-jeong, the industry maven who may be (?) a nod to Kim Eun-sook, I suppose! I was afraid at some point that they’d just trash her character, by making her a little too ridiculous in an unkind way, but I found some of the loveliest scenes involved her- like the one where she tells Jin-joo to do the work, but not be too successful. In the end, there was a love and fondness for her, a genuine empathy, that really was core to what made this show so successful. 

Shout out also to two of the weirdest characters I’ve watched, but thoroughly loved- Heo Joon-seok as Director Dong-gi & Lee Ji-min as Nutritionist (?) Da-mi. I absolutely adored that the only wedding in this series is between these two, and they do it in a completely predictably-unusual way. 

Re: the “main” characters, I loved all of them without exception, though some more than the others :) One of the things I love about the show is how real and present the three female leads feel; they feel like whole, entire people rather than caricatures of them, even when the show reaches almost unusual levels of quirky. I love that a through-line of the narrative is how important women’s labour is- to themselves. The work they do, which is acknowledged as a part of their identity rather than just something they do to pay bills (though of course there’s acknowledgement of that aspect too!),  their hunger to do it well and for it to matter- all of that is portrayed in a way that’s charming  but still taken very seriously. And the way you know that its taken seriously is in the things they focus on- how Oh Jin-joo struggles to write alone, and how Han-joo’s learning to be someone’s mentor while struggling with her own insecurities, and how lost Eun-jung feels, when work which was supposed to give her purpose fails her in a time of crisis, and how unmoored she feels without it. 

Re: the romance- I’m someone predisposed to dislike heterosexual romance, especially at the present moment, so it’s always with a great deal of hesitation that I start watching shows that I know have a large romance component. It’s always a bit of a coin toss for me whether the show will end up making me hate the romance or just about tolerate it. I rarely expect to *like * it.  So “Melo is my Nature” was a pleasant surprise!  This is  one of the few series where I felt the writers put in the work to sell the “main romance” of the show. You get to know the Oh Jin-joo and Beom-soo in sharply etched sketches before they move into the romance part (with a lot of tongue-in-cheek meta humour about the formulaic nature of tv romances). I genuinely felt that thrill of  “oh this could go platonic or romantic and I would like either” slowly ease into “oh my god these two are MEANT TO BE”, because the Romance is clearly in the all the ways they are NOT meant to be, but also, very, very definitely are. DELICIOUS. Just my cup of Jane Austen in a different context/ time.

Through most of the show though, my heart was divided between two characters- Jeon Yeo-bin’s stellar Eun-jung and Han Ji-eun’s pitch perfect Han-joo. Jeon Yeo-bin brought edginess, dark humour and a deep, almost- inconsolable grief to Eun-jung. Some of the stand out scenes of the entire series are hers: the moment where she watches herself on video talking to an imaginary person, and the moment she breaks down in front of the psych after talking about her mother. Watching this show, it really felt like- oh, she’s a star. Consider me sold on her for life (though, no, I will not watch Vincenzo unless there’s a Hong Cha-young supercut out there, in which case, please put it in my eyeballs now)

Han Ji-eun, imho, actually pulled off the toughest performance, because I think Han-joo’s strength of character is so often concealed by her “silliness” (in a similar vein to So-min’s), and that often makes her someone you’d overlook or not take seriously.  But god, she broke my heart, from the scene in the first episode where she’s sitting alone at a table after a rough day and watching her horrible ex live his best life to the hilarious and excruciating  “Oppa” scene, to the one where her kid is quite unconsciously cruel to her in the way kids can be. I was disappointed in the way they dropped the “reveal” about whom she’s dating in the last episode- not that I wanted her to be in an romance with Jae-hoon, god, NO- but it felt quite clunky.  This is one of the two complaints I have with the show. 

The second one is that starting from the middle, episodes began to noticeably feel like scenes/ sketches spliced together. Each scene is, within itself, perfectly written and performed, but the seams between the stories began to show. I felt one of the main reasons was that Eun-jung’s trauma tonally felt like it belonged in another show, but instead it had to get stitched into the mostly happy/ frothy storylines of the other characters. Sure, we had Hae-joon and his girlfriend’s terrible relationship, but the show had an easier time integrating that by way of Han-joo.

That said, I love how clever this show is! I love that it loves its own cleverness and can’t resist the urge to show it off- from all the meta references, in-universe jokes, and oh, that entire episode devoted to farting, complete with a song about it,  which I think maybe my fave episode of the series. A great look at the place of performance in intimate relationships (and how the women bear the burden of it more than the men), but coming at it from a place of compassion and humour rather than anger. Love that choice, for the show and us! 

I think @rain-hat mentioned in a comment here or twitter that Melo feels like a part of a triangle of shows along with Run On and Search : WWW.  I’m inclined to swap out Run On for Rookie Historian, or huh, maybe change the triangle for a quadrangle? Rookie Historian dares to imagine a past where our protagonist is (mostly) unshackled by the patriarchy and in the “modern” ending to its main heterosexual romance, reminds us that people have always found ways to find joy and thrive outside the rigid bounds of society. Search: WWW goes about it in the opposite direction- placing us in a present/future where the patriarchy doesn’t  and hasn’t ever mattered. Melo, I think, doesn’t quite do that, but in common with both these shows, it refuses to focus on the trauma of living under such structural violence, and instead talks about how we all (irrespective of gender) can find a way to remain unbroken by it. And while both Search:WWW and Melo do well at queer-platonic relationships as an alternate to the heterosexual project, it’s Run On, I think, which goes furthest there- firstly because though ostensibly structured around a het romance, that romance turns out to be falling in love with yourself/ loving yourself;  secondly because it’s most explicitly queer in the choices that the characters make and the lives that they choose for themselves- Min-joo & May are each others darlings and will be for life, Yeong-hwa and Ki Seon-gyeom are allowed a tenderness in their friendship that feels like an explicit repudiation of toxic masculinity, and of course, you have May being asexual, but not aromantic, and Goh Ye-jun’s whole arc of accepting himself as a gay man, and finding acceptance of that identity from others. 

Anyway! tl;dr would recommend (and have recommended!) Melo is my Nature to anyone fond of women, clever story telling and also ridiculously happy songs.

PR Stunt

Desc: Fake Dating AU. Celebrity AU. After pity posts for Sebastian skyrocketing, you two being seen together as friends a lot and with a big movie coming up, his management decides to pair you two for a PR stunt. You both agree, pranking the public seems fun and getting rid of pity tweets seems convenient. Pairing: Sebastian x Reader Warning: It’s not that good and one of my last real people fiction pieces I have left. Not beta read.

M A S T E R L I S T

+Pop Magazine - Articles: +Hot actors that are still on the market!+

*@lancebastian: Someone give this man a family!* *@stanfanfam: I feel so bad for him, he still isn’t with a woman or trying to build a family.* *@aliburger: Poor boy looks so alone. I’m volunteering!* _______ +Pop Magazine - Candids: +Sebastian Stan seen with his friend Y/N Y/LN in Manhattan, New York+

*@seabassbaby: I know they’re just friends but they’d make a cute couple.* *@lancebastian: Get her, Stan!* *@vanillaiceice: She’s cute af.* ________ “People are pitying you so much, it’s insane. What is so wrong with being single at your age?” you looked up from your phone at Sebastian sitting on the other side of the couch. “They’re just projecting their desires onto this.” he shrugged without looking up from his phone. “How does that not annoy you to some degree? I read it and get irritated by it.” you chuckled. “Sometimes I do, but at the end of the day it’s so unimportant.” now he looked up. “Yeah, but doesn’t that suck energy out of you to some level?” you two never talked about this specifically. “A bit.” another shrug with a small pout. “Well, let’s stop talking about that then. When’s press coming up?” you tried to change the topic. He looked at you for a second with a confused face before answering, “I think in two weeks.” “No, brunch meetings for weeks again.” you pouted like a child and got a smile back from him. “Poor baby.” he played into it and laughed. “You know they keep me sane.” you answered chuckling. “I know. I promise we’ll eat like three pizzas in one day when I’m back again, chaotic mess.” you looked at him offended. “I’m just telling the truth.” he held his arms up and grinned. “Ar-” you were interrupted by someone calling him and went back to checking your socials. You had a decent following and were friends with a few photographers, which gave you the opportunity to try yourself as a model and influencer. One of you photography friends is also how you two met and as soon as you two found your love for New York brunch meetings the friendship was sealed. “With Y/N?” you looked up at the mention of your name and saw him raise a brow. “Okay, yeah. Good, tomorrow at 11am. See ya.” he ended the call and finally saw your confused face. “Guess we have a meeting at 11am tomorrow and they also want you there.” his hand went through his hair and he exhaled a bit exhausted. “Why that?” you weren’t with his management or something. “She didn’t tell me. Maybe they want to sign you?” he was just as clueless as you and sat back down on the couch and you sat up. “That would be...sudden?” you said even more confused. “I feel like there’s something more to that.” his eyes narrowed. You shrugged taking your phone again, “We’ll find out I guess.”

___________ “We know you both don’t like paparazzi but this could benefit all of us and would be over after a few weeks.” the woman ended her little idea. “Wait, you want us to do a PR stunt, did I understand that right?” you said it out loud. A serious nod came back and a sigh from you. “Can’t believe I’m saying this but I think that would be hilarious outside of the paparazzi stuff.” he snorted beside you. “Excuse me, what?” you turned towards him and got a shrug back. “So...would you be on board?” the lady asked again. You let your head sink onto your arms on the table with an, “I guess.” You both left the office after you got handed a contract to go through to sign with the management and the comment, “I hate being friends with you.” “Did you mean being in a relationship?” he joked and got a stern look back. “Don’t take it too far, Stan!” you warned him. “Won’t. Promise.” he said with that boyish smile that guaranteed for nothing. “Idiot.” you muttered while walking out of the building onto the busy street. A hand was reaching for yours and you looked up confused. “What? Need to lay down the foundation for what’s about to go down.” he clearly loved the idea to mess around with you and the public for a while. “Dork.” a smile finally found its way onto your face and you shook your head. You didn’t mind holding hands with your other friends, so this wasn’t the problem. You weren’t so sure about the rest of what was about to happen in the upcoming weeks. “You love it.” he said nudging you lightly.

“Only if I get some good pictures for my Instagram and Twitter.” you chuckled. “I’m sure there’s gonna be some of your beloved photoshootings.” he grinned. “You’re gonna be an Instagram boyfriend, don’t you forget about that part of it.” you grinned back. “Oh god.” he had the realization hit him. “Yeah, didn’t think through that I might get back at you, huh?” you laughed.

“Lunch date?” he looked down at you after you both were finished with laughing and had walked for a block. “As long as I don’t need to play honeymoon phase love, yeah.” you bit your lip to stop the laugh that was making its way through your body. “Don’t worry, I think the eating each other alive part is one or two weeks in.” he wheezed and held the door to one of your favorite places open. “It’s gonna be hella obvious that it’s a stunt.” you pointed out. “That’s why I agreed. Why not have some fun and confuse people for a bit.” there was that boyish smile again. “Like that whole Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello thing.” you shuddered. That was obviously a stunt but there was that part where everyone kinda thought it might be true and they just wanted to get the extra publicity. “I have no idea what you’re talking about but I guess my answer would be yes.” he said before turning to the waitress that just arrived at your table. ___________ +Pop Magazine - Candids: Sebastian Stan seen having a lunch date and holding hands with Y/N Y/L/N*+ *@bellastann: I feel like our dreams start to manifest stanfam!* *@lancebastian: Not entirely sold, holding hands ain’t that special. They are friends for months now.* *@evanstackiee: Yeees! (Y/L/N)stan is real!!!* ____________ Your contract was signed, your game plan was well organized. There were appointments and activities planned out, what to do at which one and the paparazzi would be there for some of them. You kinda cringed when you looked at the little calendar in front of you but you also were about to have some fun with tricking the general public. “Just an insanely big acting exercise, right?” you looked beside you to see him read through the stuff too. “Uuh, yeah.” he said concentrated on reading. You were both extremely open with each other and rarely had any miscommunication. So kissing in public without starting friendship problems wouldn’t be so hard, but you still had a weird feeling about it. Not fear, just a feeling.

__________ The first thing you did was pretty mellow. Attending a small local event together. You did things like this before but this time you’d have to cuddle up a bit here and there and make a few Instagram Stories. “You comfortable?” he smiled down at you holding your body close to his arm. “You’re 6 foot and fit, I think there is no way in hell anyone would think this isn’t comfortable.” you gave a sweet grin up at him. “For a model you’re pretty good at this.” he joked and you poked him into his waist. “Hey!” he laughed. “You act like I wasn’t a drama kid in school. I might be good-looking but I’m also a nerd. You should know that best...space nerd.” you chuckled. “Stop calling me out like that or I’ll make you talk to that dude you find annoying over there.” he pointed at a man that had bombarded you with his boring business ideas months ago. “Don’t you dare, Stan!” you looked offended. “You wanna sit down with some wine then, madame?” he said in a posh accent. “Of course, it is incredibly instagramable.” you answered in the same way. A boomerang of your drinks with each other tagged in it and two glasses of wine later you officially had glued yourself to him. He had a very comforting vibe about him and you clearly helped with his anxious moments. A kiss was planted onto your temple and a black and white filter put on top of it. Followed by a funny selfie and a picture of your empty wine glasses. Shortly after you already left the party under the flickering lights of a handful of paparazzi. Holding hands and very close together. __________ +Pop Magazine - Gossip: Are Sebastian Stan and his ‘best friend’ dating?+ *@stanfanfam: Cause of death: That temple kiss.* *@vanillaiceice: Damn, is it the late 2000s? Seb leaving a party with a girl? Damn!* *@evanstackiee: For me it’s confirmed.* *@seabassbaby: It looks kinda staged but if it’s not I’m super happy for him!* __________ The second little thing on the list was a photoshooting together. Since you both had modelled for magazines before and with other models you were kinda in your element. It was for a mid-sized fashion magazine that published every month and you two were having fun all over the rented AirBnB. Some expensive yoga pants with a knitted oversized sweater and boots was the first thing you needed to wear for a scene depicting to come home. Falling into each other's arms multiple times definitely made you laugh because of the dumb faces he made. The next outfit was a sleeping outfit. Silk shorts and an airy white cropped shirt. Your socks were pink and had donuts on it. “Can I have them?” you gave them puppy eyes and the team laughed. Modelling while laying was hard. You needed to look realistic but also show of what you were wearing. Combined with a giant baby blowing air into your ear ended in him being pinched by you. He was clearly not prepared to see you in the third outfit. Lacey underwear and an open button-down mens shirt. You could literally see his brain work and giggled “C’mon, get it together.” He was wearing briefs and a white shirt, needing to embrace you from behind while you pretended to make scrambled eggs. “My eggs are definitely scrambled after this.” he whispered and you couldn’t hold back the genuine laugh, ending up in some good pictures. The last two outfits were a bit more editorial but still wearable and the pictures were taken outside. “Well, that wasn’t bad.” you said to him as you two walked out after changing back into your clothing. “For YOU.” he answered. “Poor baby, needed to see his friend in underwear.” you made fun of him. “Yo, it’s a different thing if I see an Instagram picture or the live version.” he defended himself. “Clearly...don’t you dare fall for me, dork.” you joked and he huffed. The walk back was silent but he looked down at you from time to time. You just couldn’t see his reaction every time he did. __________ +Pop Magazine - News: Sebastian Stan & Y/N Y/L/N modelling together. Check out these pictures!+ *@lancebastian: Damn, so this is really a thing, huh? Holy, that’s cute.* *@evanstackiee: Can they adopt me?* *@bellastann: That kitchen picture sent me into cardiac arrest!* _________ By now you were trained at sending each other stolen glances. No matter if you just needed to go to your management or when you had brunch together. But for the last three days he was in LA for the press junket of his new movie. There was this weird feeling again. It felt so close to fear but it wasn't fear. You couldn’t quite pinpoint it. *God, I’m way too used to being around you now.* *You miss not freezing to death in any given moment, admit it!* *No, real talk, I miss you.* *Realtalk: I miss you too...but admit it’s the freezing!* *D O R K !* You had taken a flight to LA the day after because an award show was next on your list. You were ten times more nervous for the dress sitting right than the man on your side. You also weren’t used to hair and makeup. You were an Instagram model, this was a luxury at experimental shoots. “You’d think I can smile on command and not look like shit...but I can’t.” you said to him before stepping onto the red carpet an hour later. “You’re looking good, stop worrying.” he said in his usual calming tone before gently pulling you forward. 10 minutes later the torture to your eyes was done and there were interviews. “What do you have to say about the rumors about your relationship status?” you were asked. “That people should care more about their life than mine...oh, and that he’s the best human being on the planet. Doesn’t matter in which way we are connected.” Sitting down at an award show with your hand being held was not were you thought you’d end up when you agreed to this but why not make memories? Your head naturally landed on his shoulder after a while. You really had missed him being in close proximity for those 4 days. His thumb softly wandered over the back of your hand. “What would you do if I’d win something?” he asked in a low voice. “Jump you?” your head went up again to see his eyes wandering over your face. “In a happy kinda way, I assume.” he had a lopsided smile on his face. “You’re thinking about that photoshoot again, huh? Literally a teenager.” you joked but saw his eyes wander to your lips for a bit too long before he concentrated on the host again. For the rest of the evening your mind went in circles about him playing that or being genuinely interested in you in that way.

__________ +Pop Magazine - Gossip: Mysterious answer to relationship question about (Y/L/N)stan+ *@vanillaiceice: They are boning, come ON!* *@evanstackiee: Look at how happy she is while she says it.* *@seabassbaby: Gosh, just say it!* __________ Today was the day you weren’t really prepared for. He had an off day from press and you were still in LA. Your plan was going to the beach and getting photographed. Well, it wasn’t your plan. It was the plan made for you. “I hate swimming in the ocean!” you mumbled. “Hey, it’s gonna be fine. You have two excuses to grab onto me, right?” he chuckled while watching you undress and revealing your red bikini. You both laid in the sun for a while, talking about his press junket and the social media reactions to this. “Wanna get wet?” you opened your eyes to a child in a man’s body wiggling his eyebrows. You punched his chest with a laugh and let him pull you up with him. Hand in hand you made your way into the ocean rather slowly, “And you didn’t want to admit that you freeze to death without me.” he chuckled. He got impatient and just grabbed your waist and jumped backwards into deeper water. After a squeak from your side and your nails clawing into his back a little bit too harshly, you got used to it. “Look. It’s fine.” he put some hair strands out of your face with his free hand. “I still hate the ocean.” you pouted, trying to overplay how fast your heart was suddenly beating. Oh hell no, you were not just slowly falling for your best friend...please? “I get that.” he put his hand onto your lower back and you put your legs around his hips. “You’re my floatie.” you giggled putting your head into the crook of his neck. “And you are...I can only assume a freezing rock.” you both chuckled.

Your head went up again to see a big grin on his face, “Fuck you.” “You love it.” he said like usual but this time you slowly nodded with a serious face and his eyes widened enough for you to notice. “Wait, I didn’t…” you exhaled deeply with attentive eyes on you. “I feel like we should just stop this. I don’t want to see this friendship break apart just because my body thinks close proximity is a good reason to send hormones out.” you got out of your system. “That’s an odd way of saying that you’re having a crush on me.” he smiled and put his other arm around you. “Yeah, well, I don’t wanna ruin this.” your eyes went down, you rarely made yourself this vulnerable. “You already did by, to say it in your nerdy words, making my body think it’s a good idea to send out hormones because we are in close proximity.” he answered with a nervous chuckle, hand going through his hair.

Your eyes met his again, “I stopped acting the moment it started, Y/N.” “Well, um, it took me till about approximately 5 minutes ago to realize that this odd feeling I have isn’t some suppressed fear.” you made fun of yourself to make the situation less awkward. “Wanna give them what they want?” his head nudged towards the beach with a smirk. “Do you mean give you what you want?” you joked and he remembered where he heard that before. “I hate being friends with you,” he bit his lip, “I’d much rather call you my girlfriend.” The reference made you melt, he remembered that dumb little conversation from two weeks ago. Your hands went from his shoulders to his head and his free hand pulled your head closer before your lips met. You didn’t care about the camera clicks in the background, you only cared about finally making out with the man that made you love brunch dates so much. It felt like an hour before you broke apart a little. Steel blue eyes were staring right into your soul and the most calming voice in the world said “I love you.” “I hope you don’t say that while thinking of me in underwear.” you joked. “Nah, don’t need to. You’re grabbing onto me in a bikini.” he said with his hands wandering down your body and a giant smirk on his face. “I love you too, dork.” ___________ +Pop Magazine - News: (Y/L/N)stan confirmed! Couple seen kissing at the beach.+ *@vanillaiceice: I’ll fistfight anyone that hates on her!* *@evanstackiee: Look at those SMILES.* *@seabassbaby: Maybe I’m crying.* *@lancebastian: She makes him happyyy.* *@bellastann: I think this gave me diabetes.* *@stanfanfam: Make babies! lol* *@Y/N: Gosh, @imsebastianstan we have heart eyes galore in these. Might need to go and get that checked out.* *@imsebastianstan: @Y/N, yeah, heard of that new disease called love. It’s attacking every part of your body and mind!* *@seabassbaby: For real...ADOPT ME!* _____________

M A S T E R L I S T

Far From Home: Chapter 3

Blurb: When Ashlyn wins the Brother’s Trust event to visit the set of Spider-Man: Far From Home, it’s a dream come true that she doesn’t want to wake up from. Here’s hoping she doesn’t turn it into a nightmare.

a/n: I’m the worst at descriptions. Don’t ever say I didn’t warn you that this is god awful. It’s seriously so bad. I have many regrets.

Warnings: This is shit. Read at your own risk. Also language and some extremely cringey uses of memes. Sorry not sorry.

—-

We’re the last people to board the plane. Literally the last. Which is my fault though because I had to run to the bathroom and Matt didn’t want to get on without me. Brownie points for him.

“You’re lucky I love you,” he gripes when I come back to find everyone else gone. Jesus, I wasn’t in the bathroom that long.

I make a face at Matt and scramble to collect my bags. We shuffle onto the plane and find our seats. We argue over who gets the window seat and ultimately I win the 2-out-of-3 game of rock-paper-scissors so I put my carry-on in the overhead bin then climb over to my seat and shove my backpack below my feet.

“Oof,” Matt exclaims as he drops into his chair. “I am so glad we went for the side with two seats instead of three.” His eyes scan over the completely packed flight.

“Same,” I nod. Our mutual loathing for all things social interactions really comes in handy in situations like this.

We plug in our phones and headphones, then Matt disappears into his Twitter and I try to go back to Two Dots, but my hands are kind of shaking and my heart’s beating faster and my throat’s really dry and I wanna get up and run laps around the plane while I scream bloody murder and then I wanna run back home and lock myself in my room and turn off all the lights and curl up in the corner under my desk and rock back and forth while I cry because holy fucking shit I can’t believe this is actually happening.

“We’re going to London.”

“I know,” Matt says emphatically while still looking at his phone.

“We’re actually going to London. Like this is happening. We’re on a plane.”

He looks up, his eyes wide. “I know. I’m literally going to scream when we land.”

“I’m expecting you to,” I laugh lightly.

He looks at me, but before he makes more jokes, his eyebrows knit together. “Do you need water or some food? You look pale. Like paler than normal. Like are you sure you’re alive?”

“I’m not,” I say flatly. “It’s okay though. My ghost will follow you through London and stay with Tom when you leave.”

“Fine by me,” Matt smirks. “Your ugly mug won’t ruin my selfies.”

“You’re welcome,” I smile.

He goes back to scrolling through Twitter and rambles to me about some drama that’s happening right now while I dig around in our shopping bag of goodies from the concourse and find my Dr Pepper and a bag of Goldfish.

I take a swig from my drink, but I’m gonna hold off on the goldfish until we’re up in the air. I send a quick text to my parents to let them know we’re on the plane then I put phone on airplane mode.

Matt grips the armrests while we zoom down the runway.

“It’s like a roller coaster,” I say, kind of loudly so he can hear me over the engines and the wheels. “Just with a really long climb and we stay at the top of the hill for a very, very long time before the drop.”

“Don’t say drop,” he says curtly.

I grimace. “Sorry.”

“I’ve flown before,” he adds. “You don’t have to comfort me.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I thought you said you like flying? That it’s just the security and getting through the airport that stresses you out.”

“I do,” he nods slowly, “but shakey planes are never fun.”

I turn away and look out the window as we lift off the tarmac. “Here’s hoping there’s no turbelence,” I mutter.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

My cheeks burn. “Sorry.”

I leave Matt alone until we reach 30,000 feet and the plane levels out. The fllight attendants come by and give us the typical plane goodies, then another cart follows with drinks.

I manage to talk Matt into watching a movie with me by hitting play at the same time on both of our screens. It takes us a few minutes to decide on something and I’m not even slightly surprised when we settle for Civil War.

“Can we just skip to-“

“No,” I interrupt Matt. “But rewinding and watching it 20 times is definitely an option.”

Which we do. Not 20 times, but we definitely rewatch the Peter Parker scene a few times and the airport twice and squeal our way through the end credits scene.

It ends up taking almost four hours for us to get through the movie cause we keep pausing it to talk then having to get back in sync only for us to pause it again a few minutes later.

It’s midnight Atlanta time when we finish so we both agree to try to get some sleep. It feels like minutes before Matt’s mumbling in his sleep. I don’t know how he does it. It’s like he’s got a superpower for falling asleep in the blink of an eye.

I think I blink a few times and that’s all the sleep I get.

Sleeping on planes is practically impossible already, adding my excitement and energy and racing thoughts on top of that, it's just painful, honestly.

I put my headphones on and listen to music with my eyes closed until the lights come back on in the plane and someone cracks their window a few rows up and daylight floods in.

After I wake Matt up, we spend the rest of the flight rambling about all things Spider-Man and Tom and Marvel and Avengers 4 theories and questions we might ask Tom and things we might try to weasel out of him and our plan to try to convince him to let us be extras in a scene.

We try to see the UK and London outside the window, but the clouds are too thick and rain starts to pelt the glass.

I look at Matt. “I’m so sorry.”

“You can’t apologize for the weather. You’re not God,” he laughs. “I’m not upset anyway. Now I get that real London experience.”

He still watches out the window while we go in for landing and I tell him about walking through Heathrow and taking the train to Paddington, which we won’t be doing because apparently Mrs. Holland and possibly one of Tom’s brothers will be waiting for us at Arrivals and they’re going to drive us to our hotel.

My hands are shaking when we finally unbuckle and get up to collect our stuff and get off the plane.

“Oh my god, it’s happening,” I say excitedly under my breath.

“It’s happening!” Matt mimics. “We’re here!”

“If you had to pick which twin might be with their mom outside, which one?” I ask while we walking down the aisle.

“Neither,” he says, without hesitating. “It’ll be Paddy. Not a doubt. And he won’t be happy about it.”

“You’re so right,” I laugh.

Which, of course, he is.

He always is.

It takes us a second to find them when we walk out, but Mrs. Holland is holding a sheet of paper with our names on it in big bold letters, so it’s not that hard. I am glad though that I emailed them a picture of Matt and I, so they’re not surprised when we walk up to them.

Paddy’s on his phone when we first notice them, but it’s put away by the time we reach them.

“Hi,” I smile and hope my voice isn’t croaky. Matt and I stopped by the bathrooms after we got off the plane so we could change clothes and brush our teeth, so at least I don’t have to worry about morning breath. “I’m Ashlyn and this is Matt. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hello, it's so nice to meet you as well." Mrs. Holland smiles and shakes our hands. “I’m Nikki and this is Paddy.”

He waves and half-smiles. “Hi.”

"Thank you for donating to The Brother's Trust," Mrs. Holland adds.

"Oh, of course," I smile. "You're so welcome. I love all the work you guys do."

"Thank you very much," Mrs. Holland smiles. “Shall we take your things to the car?” She reaches for my suitcase.

“Oh it’s okay, I got it,” I say politely.

“Me too,” Matt adds.

“Are you sure?” she asks. “It’s no trouble, really.”

“We’re good,” Matt smiles. “I feel bad that I didn’t pack that lightly anyway. I don’t want to make you drag my bag around.” He laughs lightly and I nod.

“We’re the worst at packing,” I say. “I might ask Tom for some pointers. He looks like he’s good at it.”

“He really isn't,” Mrs. Holland laughs lightly. “He certainly didn’t use to be, at least. You should’ve seen everything he brought when they filmed The Impossible. I thought he was trying to bring his entire bedroom.”

We roll our suitcases out of Heathrow and across the parking garage while Mrs. Holland tells us some stories about Tom and airports. Who doesn’t love embarrassing anecdotes from parents? I have to remember to mention one of these to Tom when we meet, just to see how red his face gets.

Huh.

Oh wow.

This really is happening.

We’re meeting Tom soon.

Cool.

My brain is melting to soup right now.

It’s no big deal.

It’s fine.

This is fine.

I’m fine.

—-

So, this is back. We'll see how regularly I update. lol - K :P