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#oh luxury
dandyads · 8 months
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Lincoln Continental Mark IV, 1959
Theme Week: Luxury Cars 🚗
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gent-illmatic · 3 months
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What is your first initial thought when laying eyes on this image? 😌🙃😳😰😎🥱
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ayandagama · 2 months
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Mathapelo Khoza
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arom-antix · 11 months
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@fishshit I consider your post canon so I made it
Edit: I FOUND IT
Edit 2: Yakov trauma
Edit 3: I lied, here's the design rant
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souplovingwerewolf · 10 months
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One of my favorite "isn't supposed to be funny but ends up being f*cking hilarious" things is whatever is going on with the Life Of Luxury video thumbnails.
Just... Look
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Theres so much happening
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ashinaisshin · 1 year
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To be completely honest, this Dendro Vision isn't of much help to my research... However, there's no denying the effectiveness of elemental powers when settling a physical dispute, so it still proves useful at times.
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queerofthedagger · 5 months
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i've been without warm water for two weeks now and like, the first one shit not getting fixed was my fault but now my landlord is dragging his feet and doing nonsense and i gotta call for the 4th time now and finally make an actual fuss and like. on the one hand i hate making a fuss cause i'm not actually a bitch when i can help it, but on the other i haven't had a warm shower in two weeks, I've worked 70 hours in 5 days, and it's a landlord so unfortunately for them they are now about to get the full experience of Me Being Done With Shit let's go
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canisalbus · 6 months
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Rebuttal: your art tastes like a seashell praline that has been sat on a bed of velvet...incense burning around it to battle for control against the strong chocolate-hazelnut cream within the spiral milk and white shell. In the distance...distant chimes and soft prayers mix with heavy breathing and salacious whispers. It is sultry. . .reverent. . .decadent. . .and ominous. . .AKA it's good stuff.
.
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maegalkarven · 7 months
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AU where Dark Urge didn't loose memories and the events in Moonrise Towers in act 2 went a tag differently. Or very differently.
Fucking everything up in a new, interesting way.
Characters: m!Dark Urge, Enver Gortash, Orin the Red, Ketheric Thorm, Isobel Thorm, Dame Aylin, Wyll Ravengard, Ulder Ravengard (mentioned), Karlach.
m!Dark Urge x Enver Gortash.
It was a stupid fucking plan from the very beginning of it.
To go to the Moonrise Towers to – what, confront Ketheric? Confront the Chosen of the God of the Dead?
Nemo knew better than the others what an idiotic idea it was.
But Nightsong already took a flight, and harpers moved to attack – and what was Nemo supposed to do?
He was a wreck, a shadow of his former self, weak as a kitten, clumsy as a newborn owlcub. He was the failed Chosen of Bhaal going to a place what was his demise.
Swooped by the currents of events unfolding, he had no plan.
But again, Nemo was never the plan guy; it was Gortash’s forte, it was his work. He was the brain of their plan, the brain of all of their operations. He thought things through as Nemo sliced around, creating chaos, bringing havoc, painting world in blood.
But it was before. Before Orin took her swing, before Nemo’s once great abilities were reduced to dust, before he became weak. So weak he had to depend on others, so weak he required, no, needed allies.
The voice of Father dull in his head; illithid parasite had to do something with it, had to change the rules the same way it changed them for Astarion.
Funny, before that whole mess Nemo would never put himself and a vampire spawn on the same page. But now? Oh, how alike they were, the spawns of unrelenting cruel force commanding their will, puppets of someone else’s play.
Waking up on nautiloid was akin to waking up from a fewer dream. The Urge...subsided. It was pushed back, held at bay. He was almost alone in his own head, more alone when he ever was with Father’s constant will moving his hands.
But what good did this free will do if he was about to die anyway, probably in the same damn place he died the first time? Would Orin be the one to slice through him one final time?
Nemo was never the one for plans, as clever as he was. Gortash always claimed it drove him mad, for Nemo had all the intellect, but rarely put it to good use.
“You have to exercise your mind the same way you train your body,” his unexpected ally would say. “Otherwise what use is it to you? You, my dear murderer, is capable of much greater things than your father foresees for you.”
These thoughts were atrocious, they were heretical, they were...compelling. Flattering, warming some deep corners of the soul Nemo didn’t know he had.
No wonder lordling ended up luring Nemo into his bed.
No wonder Orin saw her brother’s newfound weakness and used it against him.
Clever little thing, his slaughter-kin, to shift into Gortash to approach him. He was a fool to lower his defenses, of course he was.
He paid for it greatly.
“We’re moving down,” Isobel acknowledged. She, a daughter of a man who turned his back to two gods for her sake. She, the priestess of a goddess Ketheric Thorm forsaken. She, a child brave enough to confront her father.
Nemo hated her before he knew her.
He hated her for the way Ketheric turned the world upside down for her to live; he hated her for how ridiculously loved she was.
She hated her because even after being corrupted by Myrkul’s unholy powers, she still dared to stay unstained. Holy. Good.
He hated her so much his whole body hurt.
She who denied her father’s love, she who had love so selfless, so unconditional-
Father’s love was always conditional. Father’s love was always a leash and never a caress.
Father’s love hurt no matter how much Nemo craved it.
Oh, how he wished he could stifle the light of her life; oh how he wanted to see Ketheric’s face as he would tell him, in every gruesome detail, how his precious daughter died the second time.
How everything Ketheric did, everything he betrayed was for naught.
But Nemo was not what he used to be: he was weak, and Isobel was his advantage in a fight against her father. Her and Nightsong, but Nemo wasn’t even sure if aasimar was alive; the last he saw of her was when Elder Brain dragged the woman down.
Down, down, down-
Down they went.
Nemo didn’t want to go down there. He didn’t want to confront anyone, he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t strong, he-
He wanted to go home.
Home, such a strange concept it is.
Bhaal’s temple was never his home, even if it was the only shelter he has ever known.
No, home was...
Home was a mechanical clicking of devices operating in Gortash’s workshop. Home was the dim light and the huge table covered in papers; the smell of hot iron and smoke, and the man with fingers stained in ink.
The bitter bile rose up his throat at the thought of it.
The Chosen of Bane was never supposed to be his home.
The Chosen of Bane was his enemy.
Nemo has failed his life’s purpose in more ways than he could count.
And yet he wanted to go back; to the security of that place, to the delighted glint in the other man’s eyes, the mad plans, the notes on the table, the open books, the diagrams, the warmth of his skin as Nemo dragged Enver away from his work:
"Rest, you need to rest. It’s unbecoming of you to run yourself ragged like that. Sleep, your machines will not disappear overnight."
The way he struggled, tried to argue as exhaustion overtook his body. The way Lord Enver Gortash, the tyrant in the making, looked vulnerable in front of him in a way, Nemo suspected, he never looked in front of anyone else.
The way Nemo went to bed with him and expected to wake up in a pool of blood, but never did.
Because some part of him resisted Father even then. Some part of him claimed Enver Gortash for himself.
And it cost him greatly.
Nemo wondered if returning to Moonrise Towers could be classified as ‘coming home’.
He wondered if his home would meet him with windows shut and new lock on the door. He wondered how quickly he would be discarded by a man having no use for him anymore.
Turned out, Nemo was a fucking idiot.
***
It happens faster than it has any right to be; Ketheric spots Isobel, Wyll sees his father, Karlach lurches at Gortash, and Orin...
Orin steps away from the Elder Brain and smiles.
“My poor slaughter-kin,” she coos. “Came back so I could finish what I’ve started, did you not?”
And then the moves.
And fuck, Nemo forgot how fast she is, and he is so out of it, he is but a shell of his former self; his body is weak, feeble, damaged-
Orin knows it. Orin was the one who damaged it in the first place.
Nemo is vaguely aware of Isobel reaching out to Nightsong and freeing her from the bonds, he thinks he hears Gortash trying to reel Orin and Ketheric back in:
“Orin, we haven’t finished, the Brain didn’t receive command yet, come back here- Ketheric, two stones can’t hold it down, we need the third, Ketheric, forget about your daughter, come right here and make yourself useful for a change-“
But Ketheric doesn’t listen. Orin doesn’t listen. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own issues, their own grudges, their own fights. Karlach slices through the undead servant and knocks Gortash into the ground, only to be pushed back by a force of small explosive detonating right into her face. It doesn’t damage her much, but pushes back a significant amount.
“My poor brother,” Orin taints as Nemo tries to dodge one of her slices and comes out short. Blood oozes from the new cut and his murder-kin giggles. “So out of it, so pathetically weak. I did a good job on you, brother dear. But,” another smile, another attack. Nemo barely parries it in time. “I can do better. Father knows I can do better, Father knows you have failed him. He loves you no more, my failure of a brother. He has left you.”
Nemo would love to argue what Father went nowhere, what he still haunts Nemo’s every waking and dreaming moment, what the only thing stopping the God of Murder from consuming his wayward son is the illithid parasite in the bhaalspawn’s brain. But he doesn’t have the time, he doesn’t have the strength, he is failing, and-
The next strike to come is fatal.
Or it would be, if not for a huge tentacle of the brain to come flying out of nowhere.
Sending Orin flying right into the Morphic pool.
To the Brain.
With her stone.
Fuck.
Nemo turns around and meets a bewildered stare of Enver fucking Gortash, the man who just successfully compromised his own plan - their plan - beyond any recovery.
A fool.
Nemo’s blood is so loud in his ears he can barely hear; his heart is throwing itself against the cage of his ribs with a force unbeknown to him before.
He feels elevated, he feels scared, but most of all he feels-
“What the fuck did you do?” he snarls and everything, miraculously, stills. Everyone freezes, staring between them in a mix of surprise and dread.
Everyone feels what something just went very wrong.
“I-“ Enver starts, but Nemo gives him no chance to continue.
“You just threw the Netherstone to the Brain! The Netherstone we use to control the Brain! And you just threw it right at it,” there’s indignation burning in him but also...confusion?
Why? Why would Enver do something like that? Why would he compromise everything? Why would he-
“She was about to kill you,” Gortash seethes. “I saved your life.”
“By dooming everyone and everything in the process,” Nemo shouts back. “By dooming yourself. By the gods, Ketheric, did you see that? How he just- Ruined everything?”
“I did in fact see that,” Ketheric, who is pretty much being held down at the fire point, states. The only thing stopping Nightsong from murdering him here and now is Isobel’s hand on her shoulder. “It was a very stupid thing to do.”
Gortash looks appalled at that.
“I just saved his life!” he repeats like this fixes everything. Like it explains anything. There’s a mad look in his eyes, of a man who just realized what he has done. Then he turns to Nemo. “I saved your life, you ungrateful little-“
“Why?” comes out so quietly it’s barely a whisper.
At first Nemo thinks he asked that, the question was definitely on the tip of his tongue. But no, the voice belongs to Karlach. She rises from the ground, shaken but unhurt.
“I know you; you’re an awful fucking person who only cares for his own well-being. Why would you do something like that,” she gestures at Nemo and Nemo makes a face at her. He knows how he looks, thank you very much. “For him?”
Gortash opens his mouth, hesitates. His eyes dart to Nemo and Nemo meets his gaze with just as inquisitive expression as the one on Karlach’s face.
“Yes, Enver,” he agrees. “Why?”
But Enver never gets to answer, for in that precise moment the waters of the Morphic pool part and a figure crawls out.
A figure of a pale woman with even paler eyes, dressed in red.
Orin.
She takes a step, then another.
And something is wrong.
Her movements are unsteady; her head dangles as if she’s held up the strings and her eyes-
They’re vacant, her eyes, almost empty. They’re...peaceful, and Orin has never been peaceful in her entire damn life.
Nemo makes the involuntary step forward and is immediately held back by Wyll, who, gods only know how, managed to not only teleport his father right next to Karlach, but also come back to Nemo, and is now holding him firmly by the forearm.
“Don’t,” he whispers into Nemo’s ear. “This is not your sister.”
“Orin?” Nemo calls out regardless, because this is his sister. It has to be.
Orin raises her head and looks straight at him. Then she opens her mouth and speaks:
“Praise the Absolute.”
“By the Nine Hells,” Karlach curses. “She got tadpolled.”
“And she has the stone,” Ketheric is the first one to move, ripping himself out of Nightsong’s grip and stepping forward.
“Well, shit.”
An overwhelming, overbearing horror embraces Nemo.
Orin, his little sister. Orin, his murderer, his torturer.
Orin, the perfect slayer. The puppet of the Absolute.
“Maybe I can use the prism,” he starts. “I can bring her back to her senses.”
“And then what?” Wyll argues and it takes Nemo an embarrassingly long time to realize his friend has already started to pull him away. “She’ll try to kill us on her own volition and not the Brain’s? No.”
“We need to go,” Gortash speaks up. “Quickly, now.”
“There’s no ‘we,’”, Karlach argues. “And ‘we’ are not going anywhere with you.”
“Karlach, now is not the time to argue-“
“You sold me to Zariel-“
“Father?” Isobel calls out. “Father, what are you doing?”
Ketheric unsheathes his sword.
“Atoning,” he speaks. The moves to rip the Netherstone from his armor and throw it at Nemo. Nemo, surprisingly, manages to catch it. “Keep it safe,” the man orders and oh, is this his general voice now? “Keep her safe.”
Nemo doesn’t need to ask who he means by that. Instead he argues.
“I am a murderer, you know that, right?” as if any sane argument would work right now. “A murder incarnate. I do not keep people safe.”
“This time you will,” and this is why Ketheric was so feared and respected; a single hard stare pins Nemo to the ground. “Or I will come back and hunt you down to the end of Toriel. To the end of every known realm, if I have to.”
“Not to interrupt this fine and lovely conversation, but general,” Gortash looks just as puzzled as Nemo feels. “What are you doing again?”
The man has some strength enough to smirk.
“What I should have done long time ago,” he sends Isobel a long, sickeningly loving gaze. “The right thing. Isobel.”
“Father,” the girl’s chin trembles. “Father, I don’t-“
“I love you more than any god could understand,” the old general speaks. “And I will never regret bringing you back, never. But now,” he turns his gaze back and manages to parry the quick, efficient and entirely deadly strike of Bhaal’s unloved daughter. “You have to live. And I...I have to take a stand. Go,” he says. “Go,” he commands. “I will hold her back for as long as I can.”
“The undying against the slayer,” Gortash murmurs as he already sprints towards the elevated platform.
The ground shakes as the Brain breaks out of its bonds, bit by bit, slowly but surely. The wave of psionic energy what comes their way almost knocks them all down.
“Go,” Nemo shouts as he and Wyll teleport closer to the exit. Thank fuck for the teleportation spells. Thank fuck for Wyll.
Karlach all but carries dazed Ravengard away as Dame Aylin takes Isobel in her arms and takes flight.
“Go, go, go!” he repeats as a familiar hand grabs him by the shoulder. Nemo doesn’t have time to think, doesn’t have time to act as he is dragged the remaining way to the platform by no-one but the tyrant himself.
The moment Karlach reaches the platform Wyll hits the control panel and they start to rise. Nemo is afraid it is not fast enough.
From the height of their ascend he sees the undying general fight off the slayer. Two Chosen of Gods against each other.
Even from that far away it is clear Ketheric will fall.
He sacrificed himself. He brought them time.
Fool.
***
Down below the illithid colony, amidst the Hell of his own creation, general Ketheric Thorm receives one last, final blow.
Blood oozes out of his wounds, painting the floor red. Above him a woman dressed in red stands; eyes vacant, empty, soulless.
But it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore.
Isobel is safe. And Ketheric...
“Melodia,” he whispers as the last breath leaves his body. “I am coming.”
Somehow he knows she is waiting for him; what she has always waited for him, no matter how far he strayed.
Ketheric Thorm dies peacefully. It feels like falling asleep.
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theabigailthorn · 6 months
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I caught up recently on a bunch of the recent KJB patreon content (Finally had a weekend to myself) You mentioned some shaving tips, which where extremely welcome, but did lead to a question: Do you have spesific brand reccomendations for the shave soap/gel and after shaving lotion?
nope :) I just buy whatever's cheapest lol
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dandyads · 8 months
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Cadillac, 1959
Theme Week: Luxury Cars 🚗
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I’m sorry but “do a 581 mile u-turn for our store” is the funniest billboard advertisement possible.
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ayandagama · 3 months
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Tshepiso, what a stunner.
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harmonysanreads · 16 days
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YO?????
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nova-antares · 6 days
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I HAD A VISION!! it's 6 am and I still haven't sleep but I HAD A VISION
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lafaiette · 2 months
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The Protector reminds me of Cartier's Love Bracelet:
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It's a famous (and super expensive) bracelet characterized by its screws. It can be put on and removed only by using a screwdriver, and it represents eternal love.
"The bracelet was designed in the shape of an oval in order to fit as closely as possible to a loved one's wrist, and it was designed to not be taken off on a daily basis. It's physically screwed on to signify the permanence of true love, since two people are needed to secure the screws. Ever since then, the Love bracelet has become a symbol of love and commitment due to this design."
The Protector:
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