ohhh problems without a name, do you only exist to be labeled??

“I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”

Harhar this is just an art trade with @/limitxdespair I try multiple new things for this one as experiment. I can't keep looking at it cause the more I look the more I feel like something's off ajdbshhddjh

Bonus doodle cause I cannot contain the silliness in me

Something I’ve noticed

no bc the fact that we went from THIS ^^^^

to this,,, I feel so fucking nauseous I’m gonna be sick

"Get the key back. It should not be used. Everything will vanish again. Do you want to know unending pain…like I have?"

Akk'rai and her emotional-support-reformed-villain (I'm letting her be completely happy once a year)

My blog will probably be flooded with these two eventually because I will not shut up about them to people I know and when I start yapping on here too I won't stop

got it.

i was struck recently by how often armand cries during the devil's minion chapter. armand generally tries to present himself as cold and disaffected, and when he has emotional outbursts, they're usually angry ones. he tries to keep up this attitude with daniel somewhat (his whole 'oh i didn't even notice you gone' type routine when daniel returns to night island), but it seems like he really can't quite pull it off in the manner he normally does. he gets affected by daniel's words in a way he's not used to.

the description of his crying being uncontrollable, like he's awakened a lost side of himself he can't handle, is so interesting. armand was isolated for so long - he was enslaved and then a cult leader, he goes from one extreme situation to another. and when he and louis fell in love, he sabotaged their relationship so thoroughly in a way there was no need to argue, because they went straight from the top of the world to rock bottom. there was nothing really to say, just resignation. even when they break up armand just walks away in a manner where louis thinks he's coming back later. their passionate love affair had become cold and sterile. whereas daniel and armand are on a roller coaster ride, 'misery and ecstasy united by love' all wrapped up in one relationship. and the ups and downs made both of them emotional - prone to heated fights and dramatically reuniting.

i don't think armand knew how to handle the hot and cold of it all. if daniel were only ever cruel, he could close himself off and try to shut off his feelings (i think this is kind of eventually what happened during their tva era break up), but daniel also loves him and makes armand's life exciting and puts up with his insane questions and experiments. he can't turn off the vulnerability he had to have to enter into the relationship - making daniel his guide to modern life, trusting what he said about how things work and being willing to look foolish. as a result, daniel's insults actually sting, and he can't just stop worrying about daniel when he storms off or is self destructive.

he also cries tears of laughter during the chapter.

this time daniel isn't really responsible for the tears. but i think it speaks to how emotionally free he was during that time (like i don't think he was crying tears of laughter with the children of satan, you know?). and the fact that he had home to watch it in, technology he knew how to operate, a companion who would watch it with him over ave over... that's a result of the life he had with daniel.

and so he cries when daniel's dying and cries when he turns daniel. because either way, that life has come to an end.

daniel sees it as the beginning of their life together, and is baffled armand would be upset now they can finally be together forever. but to armand, it's the end of this disastrous, messy period of time that reawakened his heart after being so closed off. and he knows it will never be the same. but he does it anyways, he breaks his one rule even when believing it spelled certain doom for them, because that's how much he'd come to care after everything. and in the moment of truth, the depth of his true feelings - the fact he could care so much, that after years of misery he actually wanted to live now, and he only wanted to live if daniel did - that still surprises him.

How Would I Put This For My Non-Slovak Mutuals

Slovakia is going to have elections (premature, I should note, because Matovič is an idiot, see bellow) and by God I am stressed. Our options are as follows:

Progresívne Slovensko (Progressive Slovakia) - They are the, well, progressive party of the Slovak political spectrum. Which means they are the only fucking party that supports the LGBT movement with any consistency. Most of their other proposals are also relatively reasonable; they are interested in protecting the environment, want to improve the sorry state of Slovak healthcare, fight the corruption and so on. Their only two issues are the fact that their leader, Martin Šimečka, is a fucking nerd with the charisma of a wet noodle, and the fact that everyone, and I mean absolutely everyone, even people who theoretically should be on their side on account of not being bigoted Putin-loving dipshits, hates them for absolutely no reason. Well, except for their large preferences, probably. They are the most successful party, or second most successful (depends on how the elections pan out) after...

SMER - Sociálna demokracia (DIRECTION - Social Democracy; yes I know SMER is also short for something but I'm too lazy to look it up right now) - Hoo boy. These guys. How would I even start to explain the sheer amount of baggage these guys carry...? SMER has been in power in 2008-2012 and 2012-2020. And it was a fucking shitshow. Between massive corruption and widespread mismanagement of public resources, you can't help but wonder how the fuck did these people last one term, let alone three?! Don't let the Social Democracy thing in their name fool you, these people aren't really social democrats, they have no ideology beyond getting more votes and avoiding jail. Their leader is Róbert Fico, a literal antichrist whose corruption scandals would make for an exceptionally thick encyclopedia. This man is able to sell his soul to the devil for money and power, but since the devil seems kinda unavailable, he figured Putin is the next best (worst?) thing. His latest strategy for gaining more support is leaning into the fanatical Putin-loving, EU and human rights hating crowd, which in our country is depressingly large. Another memorable personality is Ľuboš Blaha, a tankie extraordinaire whose favourite meal is the sole of Volodya's boot and a steady diet of bathit conspiracies. Remember when Blaha engaged in casual atrocity denial around Bucha, because Pepperidge Farm and Minette's blog remember. https://www.tumblr.com/minetteskvareninova/680859499810177024/this-war-is-horrible-and-itself-would-be-enough

Hlas-SD (Voice-SD) - Most progressives in Slovakia have high hopes for these people. I don't. They are an offshoot of SMER, whose leader Peter Pellegrini has mostly held the line with Fico, but at least seems spineless enough to betray him if it happens to be advantageous enough. They don't really have any kind of concrete politics (most of their program is a vague "we'll make things better" kind of stuff), but at least they don't actively spread hate, so in that way they are able to climb over the low bar that is their mother party. Still, how are these people in the third place of every pre-election survey I will never know. I guess Pelle is just that sexy or whatever.

Obyčajní ľudia a nezávislé osobnosti (Ordinary People And Independent Personalities) - They have been the ruling party since 2020 and much like with SMER, it was kind of a shitshow, just in a different way. Their leader Igor Matovič is less corrupt (mind you, not NOT corrupt) than Fico, but more than makes up for it by being kinda stupid and also a horrendous drama queen whose antics prematurely ended two cabinets, his and Heger's. Tenderly nicknamed "Matelko", he became known for his "atom bombs" of ideas, such as giving out prizes in a lottery that people join by getting vaccinated. Y'know, to increase vaccination rates during the height of COVID-19 pandemic. That's why this whole thing had to be televised, complete with "call to collect your prize" type of deal. For what it's worth, he at least made attempts to fight the corruption of the previous regime; he did it badly, as is his way, but nonetheless. "Independent personalities" here means a bunch of small parties that joined them in this election, because they would have no chance otherwise. They are a pretty diverse bunch, meaning their ranks include, among others, an infamous bigot and fanatical anti-abortion activist Anna Záborská, but they also made my bae Jaroslav Naď a defence minister, so that kinda balances it out. I wouldn't hate it if they managed to get into parliament, I'll tell you that much.

Slododa a Solidarita (Freedom and Solidarity) - Considering Matelko profiles himself as an anti-corruption crusader, you'd think Róbert Fico is his nemesis. You'd be wrong. Fico unfortunately loses that prestigious title to one Richard Sulík, leader of SaS, who is... Eh? Like, he's competent in the questions of economy and in general not in the worst tier of Slovak politicians, but also, he's as much of a libertarian as is possible in our part of the world (which si to say, he's not as bad as an average American libertarian, but still engages in, for example, casual climate change denial) and constantly feuds with Matelko. Again, I don't hate him, but we could do a lot better.

Kresťanskodemokratické hnutie (Christian-Democratic Movement) - They are surprisingly not as bigoted as their name would suggest, but that's because here in Slovakia we are used to levels of homophobia and transphobia that would boggle the mind of an average non-fundie American. They come off as relatively reasonable, but only because one can't help but compare them to Putin kissasses like SMER, SNS and Republika. Which brings us to...

Slovenská národná strana (Slovak National Party) - You know, Stupidest Slovak Politician is a tough contest, so my respect to anyone who is able to win it as decisively as Andrej Danko. This man is like Róbert Fico, if his spirit animal was a sheep instead of a fox (and I say it as someone who has experience with sheep, those motherfuckers are ungodly stupid). He simped for Putin before it was cool, when that particular fanclub was just him and Blaha. He doesn't seem to be able to speak his mother tongue and his constant malaproper speech is the source of many a meme. Which, yes, means that him getting into parliament would be pretty funny. On the other hand, all that fun would probably be somewhat spoiled by the fact that he's ALSO super corrupt, not to mention, y'know, conspiracy-spreading Putin simp and bigot. He also cites Viktor Orbán as his actual, honest-to-God role model. So, an all-around cool dude that I am very happy might be in the next parliament (if Fico wins the election, because naturally these two get on like a house on fire). /s

Republika (The Republic) - I can't believe SMER legit isn't the worst mainstream Slovak party, but I mean, at least they aren't actual neonazis? I mean, Republika does its best to hide their affiliations, but because their leader, Milan Uhrík, is in competition for the second stupidest Slovak politician (the first place, as stated, firmly belonging to Danko), they don't do a particularly good job of that. I mean, Republika is the product of a schism within ĽSNS, who were already infamous for their idiocy (besides, you know, barely disguised fascism), so figures. Milan Uhrík in particular is the man whose most important contributions to Slovak culture were sitting in the European Parliament doing fuck all (did I mention that like most bigots, he also shits on EU constantly?) and the "I am not a historian" meme. Basically, because of the blatant fascist sympathies of his party, including worshipping Jozef Tiso, he was asked to condemn the crimes of the First Slovak Republic (which was basically a Nazi puppet - yeah, Ukrainians aren't the only nation in this region with a shady past, go figure; not that it prevents some people, including Uhrík himself, from spreading the "denazification" bullshit). Uhrík's answer? "I am not a historian". Since then, he has been given several options to revise this opinion. He never took any of them. His agenda is also truly something to behold, like I've never read something as profoundly dumb as the pamphlets where they present it. They don't seem to be as successful as ĽSNS, but that's unfortunately because their schtick was stolen by SMER with the good chunk of their electorate. Still, SMER might actually take them into their coalition, because like goes with the like even if the "like" is bigotry, and lest we forget, there is no God.

Sme rodina (We Are Family) - *sigh* Do I have to? Okay. Sme rodina is yet another conservative party, completely unlike EVERY OTHER PARTY THAT EVER GAINED ANY TRACTION IN THIS COUNTRY PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE. Ahem. Its leader Boris Kollár is a businessman who gained something of a memetic status in Slovak showbusiness by being a massive whore and having a fuckton of illegitimate children (the current count is I think 12?). Something of a Slovak Herschel Walker. And just like Herschel Walker, he, the avowed conservative that he is, has been accused of paying for abortions of one of his ex-girlfriends. Which is just a reflection of this guy's general moral consistency. To put it simply, Boris is the biggest Slovak whore. If Fico asked him to join his coalition, you bet your ass he would. He also has associated with people involved in organized crime (just like Fico) and sexted a fifteen year old drug addict. Because, as their billboards state, Sme rodina "protects children". Needless to say, I can't fucking stand this dude just as a person; since he seems to want to be an Isekai hero, I hope he gets hit by a truck.

Demokrati (The Democrats) - They're fine. Their leader is our former short-term prime minister Eduard Heger, whose only flaws were being hopelessly naive and letting Matelko get away with shit he should not have gotten away with. Any people that might be OK with them already vote for Progresívne Slovensko, but maybe they will get enough votes to be eligible for parliament? Maybe??? Their chances aren't high to be honest, but what do you know, miracles do happen.

i just realized that 1) maya is a spirit medium and 2) i have all the nendoroids so theoretically i could

maya summoning deadworth

spoilers hehehehehhhe (pjo + toa deaths)

literally stop. literally stop. stop. stop. stop. i can’t. I was just reminded of how there literally is no main character privilege in pjo other than for percy, annabeth and idk grover? LIKE STOP. you cannot trust rick riordan like other authors because guess what? One of the main characters? Like in the Titan’s Curse with Zoe? nope. dead. Luke? No returning to the good side, no! had to kill himself to stop kronos. Dead. STOP IT. Jason, who was there for a whole series? dead! Silena who was there the whole series and was a secret spy for kronos but redeemed herself by sacrificing herself? oh yeah also dead. Beckondorf who was also there the whole series and helped percy so much? oh you liked him? that’s funny. dead. And yeah you could argue that, at least in that particular series, that character might not be a “main” character, but come on.

it just hurts so much more when you’ve gotten a backstory, personality, fears, motivations, growth, even a redemption arc of a character and you have to watch (well, read) them die. and when that character was so well loved by the other characters and the audience. when the character dies and you have to endure everybody’s reactions. when you cry because someone is screaming out in pain for them like piper for jason, screaming he’s not dead. when they describe their anguish like clarisse with silena. when a character has to walk away after the other sacrificed themselves like percy and beckondorf. when they have to cope with them being forever gone.

i cannot deal with the fact that there are so many deaths of important people. and they still weigh so heavily on everyone else. they made an impact. want some examples?

Zoe: percy still thinks about her.

Luke: he made an everlasting impact on everyone who met him or fought against him.

Jason: the whole rest of the series after the burning maze, apollo/lester dedicates his actions to jason and promises to be human like jason had pleaded for.

Beckondorf + Silena: Are fought for in the end during the final battle against kronos.

day 4: the moon will sing

Oh my god I just started campaign 3 of naddpod i thought i was gonna be fine but murphs fucking smashcut to three graves joke PUNCHED me in the heart and then caldwell said "one big grave" and i fucking STARTED CRYING and i had to pull over to the side of the road I CANT FUCKING DO THIS

today in the memory studies course i'm attending while in trento the lecture was about forgetting and oblivion not as an opposite to remembrance but a complement to it. the professor discussed the different forms of oblivion (that do not necessarily equate with forgetting) using examples with italy and fascism and. i just got so sad and angry and depressed knowing how badly spain had done in that precise matter. now i have chest pain and i want to cry.

babe wake up the narratives are foiling