I am SO grateful that ed and stede exist as characters exactly as they are. I'm so grateful for these two men who are traumatized and messed up and struggle to even like themselves, who are terrible at communicating, who make enough mistakes between the two of them to fill an entire ocean. I am so grateful to watch them struggle and be seen and be loved and reach out for the things they want and are maybe starting to believe that they deserve. I'm so grateful that the show lets them fall in love and get together exactly as they are, that it doesn't say they need to wait until they've become some unattainably perfect version of themselves before they have permission to have that. i am so grateful for ofmd

Sometimes I remember that nico lost his mother and then was put in a hotel for seventy years and finally get let out and then found out that his dad was a Greek god and he was so excited but then his sister decided to join the hunters of Artemis and he’s happy for her but also scared once he finds out that she’s going on a quest so he makes the cute guy who saved him earlier promise to keep her safe only for him to return after the quest and tell him that his sister had died and then everyone hated him because of who his father was and he realized he was in love with the guy who he blames for his sisters death and hates himself for it and then he goes on a side quest with Percy and brings him to his fathers palace under the impression that hades just wanted to talk with Percy because he said that it he brought Percy to him then he would tell him more about his family but then hades tricks the both of them and imprisons Percy and Nico goes to save him but Percy doesn’t trust him anymore and then he single handedly brought three gods to help with the battle of manhattan only to still not feel welcomed and then he learned that there might be a way to bring back his dead sister only to find out that she had chosen rebirth and then found his other sister and brought her back from the fields of asphodel and then found another camp and started to actually heal and then Percy shows up with no memory and he lies to him and promptly dips and ends up completely alone in Tartarus only to get kidnapped by two giants and get stuffed in a jar with only a limited supply of pomegranates and then when the seven finally come to save him he finds out that most of them didn’t even want to save him and thought it would just be better to leave him in the jar to die and then he had to watch the guy who he’s not rlly in love with anymore fall into Tartarus but not before making him promise to lead a group of people that hate him to the house of hades and he agrees to it and then everyone except for his sister stay away from him because they think he’s creepy and weird until he has to go on a side quest with Jason to retrieve something from Cupid and he is forced to admit that he was gay and in love with Percy to a guy he barely knows let alone trusts and then realizes that no one would hate him because of that and he makes his first actual friend and then he volunteers himself to go on a deadly quest to take a ginormous statue back to camp via shadow travel and he nearly dies from it but he also developed a strong friendship with Reyna along the way and after the war he finally allows himself to be loved by his friends and tells Percy how he used to feel about him and meets Will and is finally happy for the first time in a while and then his boyfriends dad shows up as a mortal but he doesn’t think much of it until one day he feels the same feeling he felt when Bianca died and realized that Jason had died and goes into a deep depression and then Reyna also joined the hunters and everything just sucks again but at least he has Will and people at camp don’t really hate him anymore but then he starts getting plagued with nightmares and it gets so bad to the point where he finally gives in and goes down into Tartarus again but with Will this time and is forced to face his demons but ends up embracing them and freeing his friend and everything is now kind of okay again and he starts kinda developing a friendship with Piper and he’s actually happy but who knows how long that’s gonna last cause he’s been happy before and look where that got him

Been a couple of years, but I still think fondly of Grace Monroe from Infinity Train for achieving that very rare redemption arc narrative of "the people you hurt are allowed to sever all ties, and you can still become a better, happier person."

The omen king Morgott, who was indeed the Lord of Leyndell.

Bonus without the leaves 🍂

I feel I have been praying forgiveness into the air of my existence. I realised that I have been holding grudges of hurt that I no longer want to hold. I realised that my ways of self-defence in the face of pain haven't been the healthiest. I can be non-confrontational, then explosive, I try to feel power in the face of my defenselessness by totally cutting people off. Usually without any resolve. I do not want to cling to pain anymore. I want to be free. It is unfair to our community to just cut one another off. It fragments us even further in our fragmentation.

Pray for the Desire to Forgive

Jasico Bingo Challenge: love letter

A sheet of paper, folded into thirds, dotted in places with what must be water and grass stains. The handwriting is legible in some places, and shaky in others. In the margins are small doodles of birds, clouds, trees, and other miscellaneous, abstract shapes, as if the writer’s mind kept wandering. 

TO: Nico di Angelo 

FROM: Jason Grace 

Hey, Nico. If you’re reading this, something probably happened to me. Maybe I hit my head again and lost my memories, or something, and you went through my stuff to try and find things to remind me of who I was. Maybe this fell out while we were hanging out, one day, and you saw it was addressed to you and you picked it up. Maybe I died—

However you found this, I guess, surprise! :) 

First thing’s first: I’m sorry for leaving. I know I begged you to stay, and then turned around and left, and I really hope you understand - I didn’t leave because of you. I needed to find Leo, and leaving with Piper was the easiest way to do that. I had to try and get him back. 

I wanted you to come with, but you were still healing and things were going really well with you and Will. I hope things still are, in fact. Wherever I am, I’m so proud of you for how far you’ve come, and how much I’m sure you continued to grow even after I left. 

I really love you, man. I never got to tell you that, but you’re one of my best, closest friends. You mean so much to me. You showed me a side of the world that I never would’ve seen otherwise, and gave me a space to be myself, and I will never, ever know how I deserved that. How I deserve you. 

Is that out of left field? Haha it definitely is. Sorry. 

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Nico. I didn’t want to leave. I’m so sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry I had to go and I’m sorry it had to be me, but it couldn’t be her, Nico, it can’t be her, it can’t be. It has to be me. 

It has to be. 

Here, some of the words are smeared from the water marks. Lines cross through some words that have then been re-written, as if in after-thought the author realized they were too important to delete. 

If you really are reading this, after the worst case scenario, I understand if you’re angry. I understand if you never want to think about me again, after what I’ve done. I’ll understand if you storm to your father’s palace and demand I be placed in the worst of the worst punishments for being so stupid. 

Gods. Gods, Nico, I’m never going to get to tell you how I really feel. About all of this, about everything I’m going through, I’m never going to be able to tell you and that hurts. It hurts more than knowing I’m going to die, it hurts more than getting stabbed and poisoned. I’m going to die loving you and you won’t even know until it’s too late. 

Maybe this is a stupid bad idea. Maybe I should let it die with me. Is it cruel, to tell you how I feel if I’m gone? Does this make me an awful person? 

Shit. I think I’m an awful person, Nico. I’m awful and I’m selfish and I can never choose things for myself, it always has to be for the greater good, so this is it. This is as selfish as I can be. This is all I can be for you. 

I want to see you on the other side. I want you to punch me for getting myself killed and hate me for being a hero and I want you to know that I didn’t want this but it needed to be me. It has to be me. 

I’m still wrapping my head around it, but it has to be me, okay? So if I’m really gone when you’re reading this, okay, you have to let me stay gone. Please. If you get hurt, if you die, and it’s my fault, I could never— 

Here, the letter abruptly stops. Then, it continues: 

That’s all I wanted to say, anyway. That I love you. I love you in any way I can, and even if I’ve done it silently, and stupidly, from a distance, just know that it was there, the whole time. It’s still there, wherever I am. Dead, or lost, or whatever. I love you, Nico. I’m sorry.

-- Jason Grace :)

Evangelical Christians love to talk about how because of sin, respect doesn't come naturally, love doesn't come naturally, forgiveness doesn't come naturally, nor compassion or kindness.

But it does. The only reason those values don't come naturally to people in church is because there is none found there. Those values operate on a supply/demand principle.

It's like a group of people talking about how weightlifting is unnatural, and how occasionally someone may be able to lift a 5lb weight but it's so rare it shouldn't be expected. But when you point out that many people can lift 50lbs, they change the topic to how protein is made from demons and the Bible explicitly forbids it, but can't find the verse.

911 lone star fashion -> every grace outfit

↳ 3.03

'See, we all have our secrets, Grace.'

I think Pope Francis is doing something that the church really needs right now. We're the older brother getting mad about our father not letting us have a lamb to dine with our friends when our starving younger brother shows up. We should welcome him back and feed him, because he knows he's hungry, and then we can show him the food he's really hungry for (ya dig?). But so often we're caught up with the years he spent away, or the fact that he's not really repentant so much as starving, or that we're not getting what we think is our due for following the rules.

But the father ran to meet the prodigal son. He ran. He didn't ask for an apology, he just welcomed his son home and back to life. Francis wants us to run to meet our wayward brothers and sisters, I think. Not that the dogma isn't important, but that we must always begin with great love. And for those of us who never left our Father's loving house, it's easy to get caught up in the rules and forget the relationship needed to be founded first.

‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:1‭-‬6‬ ‭(NLT‬‬). “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2:8‭-‬9‬ ‭(ESV). “‬‬For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

“A Gift Already Given” By In Touch Ministries:

“We don’t have to strive for God’s favor; we just need to receive and believe.”

“In today’s passage, Paul uses beautiful language to describe the believer’s position in Christ: “We also have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand” (v. 2, emphasis added). This grace is no puddle that barely gets our toes wet. It’s a mighty ocean that stretches on forever. And it’s grander than we could ever fathom.

God’s grace is an essential concept for believers to understand. He freely offers His favor to mankind because Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross granted forgiveness and salvation to anyone who believes. However, many people think they are enjoying God’s kindness when what they are really trying to do is earn it. And the Lord is very clear that works cannot save us (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Serving God in order to gain favor or ensure that He continues to bless you diminishes the beauty of His grace. You can do nothing to deserve His kindness! He pours it upon believers freely. So receive it, beloved, and live free in the knowledge that while your efforts are welcomed and cherished by God, grace is a gift already given.”

[Photo by Benjamin Suter at Unsplash]

it sucks knowing i’m the reason my life is the way it is and i’m the reason i’m stuck in the same general place as i was at 12 and that i’m the only one who can actually make any meaningful changes to my situation

like. me? how am i supposed to change anything when i’m the clown that got me in this mess in the first place??? the only things i’ve proven i’m capable of are screwing up and not making any progress. how am i meant to just…not do that anymore?

trying not to defend a fictional character cuz someone said theyre actually irredeemably evil and deserve to die challenge: impossible

Grace Nugget for 4.21.24

Grace Nuggets: Simple Reminders of God’s great love for you.

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so something that bothered me about the Infinity Train fandom is how they always seem to be on either of two extreme ends when it comes to judging Simon's character. it's either "Simon is an evil scum who deserved to die" or "Simon is an innocent misunderstood victim". like.. have you guys never heard of complex villains?

the worst take I've seen is people blaming the show writers for killing off Simon because "they're implying that he deserved to die". i just don't know how people jumped to this conclusion, it's a leap for sure. you don't kill off characters in a story because they deserve to die, you do it because that's the way the story goes.

and i agree that certain writers can have controversial ideals that reflect in their writing, but i really don't think that's the case here. Simon's death was never framed as satisfactory or victorious, it was framed as tragic. you don't see Grace and the Apex celebrating his death, you see them mourning it. he tried to kill Grace but she is still heartbroken and traumatized by his death. it's so clear that the narrative wants us to sympathize with him, but also acknowledge the fact that he did some pretty heinous stuff that can't be forgiven.

could Simon have been redeemed? yes. i think any character could be redeemed, regardless of how evil they were because as i've mentioned before, redemption ≠ forgiveness. but did he need to be redeemed? no. the point of this season was to show two characters who start off in the same place and end up in wildly different ones. two characters who are given choices and choose the one that decides their fate.

the truth here is that while Simon is a traumatized character that we can empathize with, he still chose the path that led to his demise. and believe it or not, people sometimes do that. for example, if a person with an alcohol addiction drank and drove, and ended up killing themself in an accident, that is the direct consequence of their actions. does that mean they deserved it? probably not. they may have had an understandable explanation to why they drank. they may have been depressed or peer pressured or trying to escape harsh realities, and none of it is their fault. but people die and sometimes it's a grizzly death. sometimes the nicest people suffer a lot, and it's not a testament to their character.

some fans may have painted Simon as a pure evil but the show certainly didn't, and it's stupid to attack the creators for killing off a character for narrative purpose. like.. is this the first time you've seen a fictional character die? i understand being upset about it, i was upset about it too. but it was the right decision in a narrative sense. Infinity Train has never shied away from touching on brutally realistic topics and this is just part of it.

my point is. sometimes people just die a brutal death. death doesn't have a specific meaning and it's not a testament to people's morality. it's just death.