#now i need to go listen to top again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elvenwhovian · 2 months

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OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS ITS THE LORE EXPLAINED IN ONE VIDEO !!!! AAAAHHHHH I HAVE CHILLS! I KNEW CLANCY WASNT DEAD! HECK YEAH!

#twentyonepilots #top #for real tho #the dema lore was a big inspiration for the OT in the Wayfarer Chronicles #i am so excited #now i need to go listen to top again

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mattodore · 3 months

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playing with dionte's hair bc i'm procrastinating

#river dipping #dionte duval #lykos #ts4 #i do really love how dionte and nicholas kinda have a b4b (bald for bald) thing going on.... but that first hair........#he looks so good... the urge to keep it is gonna make me develop a twitch under my eye...#i love the shadows the locs add btw like i personally loveee when hair creators add shading #like the DRAMAAA it adds!!!#also don't look too closely at him here bc i actually haven't updated him yet hence no proper edit of him (tho i probably won't change much #i'm really just supposed to be cleaning out the hundreds!! of duplicate households in my library dkhjnkfgh i just. get so distracted #i also have to fix mattodore's households bc i think i accidentally deleted the updated version of them at 20...#like there are multiple other saves?? but they're all with matthias's old chin??? like literally WHERE did the updated version go #so i need to clean out my library from the top down and fix their sims #i really messed my sleep schedule up the day before yesterday when i was working on those edits of delphi btw #but i did enjoy rewatching secretary and watching charade while staying up all night to do them <3 #also listened to the first two chapters of freedom is a constant struggle! editing may take me forever but i do do other things as i do it #...........talking a lot in these tags bc i'm seriously procrastinating jdkhnf i do NOT ! want to clean through my library it's a mess #OH. ALSO GOOD MORNING I FORGOT TO SAY THAT ‼️#seeing this again two days later and seeing the amount of notes....... y'all weren't meant to reblog this kjhdkfjhndkjgnh #now i'm like damn... is there any reason to make his intro edit like i did for ria and delphi 😭😭😭😭😭

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b4kuch1n · 1 year

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fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot

#sk8 the infinity #kyan reki #hasegawa langa #renga #sure whatever. tagging ship is probably easier than explaining what the fucks up with these two in my head #hi. I watched sk8 with my friend cosme a while ago. I actually dont care about the allegations that much I just got #blasted with teenage years flashback. and now I need reki to have everything on earth and be well #these have been around for like a week lol Ive just been debating posting them to tumblr. bc like. Im not finishing these lol #hesitant to call sk8 ''therapeutic'' but boy oh boy. does it make me confront some stuff. yes a sport anime leave me alone!!!#its just. I think I was this way about raz too actually. listen I have History with Stuff. I'm allowed ok? I'm totally allowed #u can See it in some of these doodles actually. this fuckign anime got me so unwell #hey. if ur a fellow adhd potentials-havers out there. ur a real one. thanks for still hangin out doin what u love/ur best #if u were an 'if u wanna do art u have to be excellent and high-art at it otherwise it means nothing' kid. I am holding ur hand #I'll be normal now I prommy (lying)#well. what I'll be doing now is taking a nap. maybe. gods my schedule backslid like four hours again #eh whatever. I go to bed anyway. got my portion of the day done and tomorrow I go buy new knife #hope someone come give me a new table top and lower the whole thing a bit soon. so I can stop sitting like Im in a shopping cart #have a good night lads. have fun. its imperative

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 9 months

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i am not the same person i was before i listened to one man band

#i’ve finally recovered enough from being ill with covid to actually be able to listen to music again #and OH MY GOD #THERE ARE NOT BIG ENOUGH BLOCK CAPS FOR HOW I’M FEELING RIGHT NOW #it’s so gorgeous and authentic and full of heart and has IMMEDIATELY found its way into my top favourite albums ever #i need time to process before i can flail in more detail but for now can i just say:#RANSOM??#HEAL???#FUCKING - ALL OF IT????#god i’m so so happy for him and this wonderful thing he’s created #it’s lovely to hear him sounding - idk so at home in himself??#he’s made something so special 💗#right i’m going to stop rambling to no one now and go and listen to it all over again (and again)#miles kane #one man band #lulu posts

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gideonisms · 2 years

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I think the thing about ntn is, it's like making a friend who you broadly agree with on the most important things but who you HARD disagree with on some of the details

#ntn spoilers #i'm at the point where i can have actual opinions now i think.#paul. paul.#i loved the campal tragic moment i loved everything with pyrrha and nona's reluctance to remember the ways she'd been hurt the #compartmentalizing of identity the acknowledgement that sometimes we just are going to become someone vastly different #the question of whether love can overcome that or why love matters if everything's just going to change and end and restart again #and the conclusion that it did matter because it mattered in the moment #love as this huge imperfect force of acceptance for others vs love as a determination to cling to them the way you think they should be #all of that was so good #even the stuff with gideon kind of. felt like it belonged in a different book but i agree with the broad character strokes of like #the horror of what's been done to gideon the way she is trying to become a different person making her own terrible decisions etc #but still trapped in this awful framework for her life & death where she only matters as a symbol for others #and her reckoning with that is messy and awful bc of course it is!#but it did feel like it needed more space than the brief chapters we got & hopefully it will come to the forefront in the next book #like all of the elements didn't necessarily mesh well and i think the humor she was trying to go for with the silly name didn't really work #and the stuff with judith was like. the most boring way to handle that imo. did she have to be unconscious the whole book #she's got so much potential as a character #and! my top pet peeve when harrow lobotomy girl nonagesimus is like i'm going to find the real god you suck #iconic yes but it reveals #she's had the agency to walk away from john the whole book and has sat there listening and now is going to find alecto when?#like??#the point of the lobotomy was that she is rejecting the framework for her previous life bc she's decided she cares more about the human cost #like???????#if she was just sort of drifting in the river having alecto's dreams that's one thing but i refuse to believe #she wouldn't be trying to figure out where gideon was the whole time #maybe if she hadn't done the lobotomy i would buy it but she did do the lobotomy!!!!! she literally did do the lobotomy #you have to do a lot of work to get harrow from only caring about gideon's life and i guess religion kind of to just hitting pause on #thinking about gideon for an entire book!#this is not even my shipper brain it makes sense gideon has other priorities is in mourning for her previous self the things she's lost etc #but harrow literally did the lobotomy if u needed to get her to the 9th for plot reasons there were better ways to explain it!!

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quatregats · 4 days

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Finals are nigh I am thinking about the Solomon a Gaenor fic again time is a circle

#honestly it's because when i was first thinking about it in december i made the most banger playlist for it #and i have been listening to that again as Comforting Background Music and hence thinking about it #i should write down the names of their five children in the doc before i actually forget them #i don't think i'm going to write it but it is a good excuse to push me to think about welsh and wales more often #and who knows. i think it would make a great messy soap opera 100k word unfinished fic on ye olde ao3 #perce rambles #also on a different note i reread what i have of the stephen doing top surgery on hornblower fic and i'm upset at how good it is #why do they all sound in character why does it actually have a functional plot who wrote this #now i need to insert The Navy's Most Intense Game Of Piquet: Trans Feelings Edition™ and also several more scenes but aaaaaa #very very excited for when that sees the light of day (probably won't be for like another year lol. there's a reason why it's cohesive)#anyways here's your silly fic update. also doing the stephen/jack famous flower of serving men but that one's cooking slowly too. we'll see

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illogicalghost · 3 months

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#big gender rant ahead i just need to write down my thoughts #personal #so i think im a he/him trans lesbian??#i think ive been denying my feminine side for a long time now but middle school me was right. well. half right #idk why id built up some weird barrier in my mind about being trans and being a lesbian #but now im like more sure than ever #i still dont know if i could call myself a woman. and i thought i was so adamant about not using she/her again but it honestly?#doesn't bother me that much anymore. its not my preference but its not as soul crushing as it used to be #i have these weird subliminal gender rules for myself that ive been beating myself down with even though i #understand that theyre fake and dont hold anyone else to them. so why have a double standard? cant i have a fun gender?#ever since high school its been an uphill battle just letting myself live freely and having self confidence #i just turned 24. i dont have to be beholden to stupid hormonal teenage self loathing anymore #the world is a beautiful place and gender is just made up anyway. so why cant i be trans and butch? who cares??#i think i worded it well in my last personal post. ive been living a gender of convenience #but fuck that! i want the gender that makes sense to me! that makes me happy! its my life and i should live it how i want to!#...i still have some regrets about my top surgery. i wish i wasnt so weirdly flat chested now.#but hopefully the fat will redistribute eventually and itll look more natural as the years go on..#but i definitely dont regret going on T. i love my deep voice and my body hair #anyway if you've read this far thanks for listening to my mad ramblings #and dont forget you can have a fun gender too!

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heartshapedtrap · 1 year

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just hung out w friends for five hours and feltso full of whimsy I could pass out <333 I miss them so bad already but I get to see them tomorrow tooooo

#like it wasn’t even planned we just talked on the phone then met up at **** house chatted while our other two friends made us friendship #bracelets and watched the cat be silly with a bowl of water that was like two hours of us doing that #then agroup car ride (I love when we do this sm it’s like my favorite part when we hang out) skin to skin in a tiny fucking car laughing #talking listening to music on our way to Taco Bell then rode around taking scenic routes b4 gas station break to like pee n buy snacks :33 #flicked up another scenic route went to the epic park w the cool playground n reminisced about how it felt like being a kid again at 1am #I’m convinced all these fuckers are neurodivergent bc not one of them can go without stemming and ***** fucking climbing on top of the every #single thing LMFAO doing backflips off of swings and stuff too I had like an insane amount of whatever bc I skipped like the entire time #just to idk be silly and **** joined in :))) switches seats in the car and went to another park then rode in the car again to more scenic #routes and all the way back to **** house to get our stuff and each driveour cars back home <3 #we group hugged at the epic park and the moment was so surreal bc we all were close to crying especially ******* like I love my fwends sm i #cannot even properly describe how happy they make me feel like sonearnestly so #I weirdly felt closer to ***** tonight too probably bc we indulged **** antics together and were skin to skin in the backseat of the car #like having to fasten each others seatsbelt his arm awkwardly behind me n out the window that close n how alike we are…#OH WAIT him and **** buzzed their hair like days before n it really hit me that I haven’t seen him w shirt hair since I’ve first known him #when we all were once coworkers together and it’s like a fond memory now and crazy to think about how we’ve all grown together as friends #ok done being sappy now b4 I actually fucking cry like eyes are on the brink as I type :p #*#personal #heartshapedtrap #can y’all tell I left my journal at home… and needed to like remember how happy I’ve felt since seeing friends <3 #omggg i forgot to mention how they all cheered and were like happy for me during the scenic car ride that I’m almost certain im lesbian #still unsure of myself but I think that’s probably the closest label idk I just feel really happy that they support me nomatter what yaknow

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polaraffect · 5 months

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#damien.txt #so listen. i've been kind of fucking depressed for the past 3 months ish #and im going to tell a story related to that in the tags so. if u continue to read. judgement free zone for me pls okay?#cool cool so im like. Really bad abt taking care of my self & my surroundings when im depressed #esp bc like. im in school & work so. literally ALL of my energy goes to those two things #and i will go. weeks upon weeks not cleaning my room #not throwing out trash. which i am AWARE is gross. but truly i would get home and pass tf out and then wake up and #start the day again. like i just truly was not engaging it in any way #anyways. so there's this library book that's been sitting on my nightstand for around a month ish #and ive also been using it as a place for other nightstand things- putting cups on. glasses at night. etc.#well. so i get an email that this book is due back tomorrow. so im like 'oh i should put this book in my backpack'#and i lift it up..... and fuck. there is literally spotty mold ALL. OVER. the back of this fucking book #i guess one of the cups i left on the night stand leaked liquid onto my nightstand and then it soaked into the book or something #and the book didnt move for a Month so like. it's had forever to just sit there and mold over.#and fuck. fuck! i was having such a good night before this too.#now im like.... what the fuck do i even do #i probably just need to go turn it in & pay the fucking expensive fee but like. fuck me. i wanna cry #it always feels like one thing on top of another. like things just are constantly going wrong in my life #and like i Know this is not. the biggest deal in the world. but it just feels like such a dumb fucking thing to happen idk.#anyways. gonna cry abt that and. i guess figure out what im doing with it tomorrow /:

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todayisafridaynight · 6 months

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just saw someone think aoki could top. Have never thought about it and never wanted to but never saw something so wrong

was that someone me cause it was probably me who said that

#nsff #snap chats #holding all of you at gun point to listen to me before sayin im being more delusional than usual HOLD ON #i dont think aoki TOP tops right but he'd ever bottom #the thing about aoki is that he's very passive and is passive about demonstrating power he has over people. USUALLY #he's not averse to reminding people lower than himself that he is their superior and that he's better than them in one capacity or another #moreover we know aoki despises losing control of situations and much prefers to #excuse the pun #be on top of everything #the thing bout masato/aoki is that he lures in people whether its with charisma or promise of power #then when he has someone he bites down when he can yk what i mean #its like when a toxic partner is nice at first and then is utterly deranged later on LOL #so whoever said aoki could top Which Again. Prob Me From One Of My 70 Alt Accounts </3 isn't wrong #i think the real crime here is trying to imagine aoki having sex with anyone LOL. MASATO however-- //is pulled outback and old yeller'd//#anyway i hate labels we know this and the only time id ever think of aoki/masat having sex is with da|go #and thinking of THAT is the hardest thing a man can do cause i refuse to see either of them bottoming #makes everything s damn complicated but i dont think anyone needs to hear bout my masada| sex hcs LMAOOOOO #it too damn early in the morning for this shit first i have to deal with rggtwt being RGGTWT and now we talkin bout aoki having sex 🧍‍♂️#i be tellin yall tho sometimes sex hcs can be a good way to review a chara... <- should eat lest the hunger deludes me more

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cactusdodes · 5 months

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#so i have two roommates who are a couple #and in the past year they've started fighting a Lot #they might go a week or so without fighting (or at least that i don't hear) but it can be as much as multiple times a day #like nothing physical and most of the time it's not like a full blown fight but it's arguing or being SO fucking snippy #well it's mostly the one going so over the top and jumping straight to snapping/yelling/saying nasty shit #and it just honestly feels like being a kid again listening to my parents #and i'm literally laying in my bed right now with my door shut and both headphones in blasting music to cover up their voice because #it's honestly kind of triggering those memories and making me so anxious and i just can't stand to listen to it anymore #i've moved twice with the one roommate but i can't live with them anymore. i can't handle this #i really valued them as a friend too but i don't think i can continue the friendship after this #i just could never imagine letting a partner talk to me the way they talk to theirs #and not to say that the partner is 100% in the right and never does anything wrong but there's no need to react the way that they do and #blow up like this.. like they can't ever calmly explain things it so quickly goes to almost belittling their partner #blake says shit

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lunarhoneybunny · 9 months

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sighs. okay tmi posting sorry guys

#lunar bunny chatter #my horniness has been fluctuating the last day or so and it's definitely because of my period. this morning was crazy #i went to some DMs to listen to an audio message i got and i just died again and thought about some stuff which led me back onto tumblr #and i just went to look at some text posts and now that i look back. dude i have such an atrocious daddy/mommy kink it's actually funny #i mean. i really like the idea of being an appealing figure and my criteria for who i call daddy is so specific. there's just two people #that fall into that category but i don't like the other person as much as the other one. hi sorry for being gay i need this off of my chest #also hanging out with some friends and im so bad at comebacks and all that. how the fuck am i gonna top without stuttering and fumbling #and forgetting words.... that's my biggest worry. it doesn't help that i get super chatty when nervous but maybe i can work it in my favor #i wanna try out the title stuff just to test the waters before going absolutely ham. maybe as a cute joke i'll go “oh sure w/e u say daddy”#“lol haha” but it just seems real fun. i think it's hot too but. yeah it's a lot to unpack ahaha.#i still have a lot of guilt for talking dirty and being more brave when talking but that's just because i always felt like i didn't have...#the right to explore that especially when a lot of people i knew back then thought of me as “pure and innocent girl” and like. yeah fuck no #this was a really meandering ramble but my point: “daddy hot mommy hot i wanna explore that and im also nervous about stuff”#i do genuinely enjoy when i get in the mood though especially with someone i trust and like. click with? i hope that isn't too much to say #but it feels very natural and i don't have to force or hide anything. i just need a bit more confidence ahaha #that's all the rambling i got in me im gonna listen to some classic music from latin artists because im silly and mildly sentimental rn.

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dirt-str1der · 1 year

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I literally had a dream about reading the worst fan fiction like fucking ever kiryu was just randomly a yandere and nishiki was trying his best to survive also kiryu turned into a dragon (deez nuts) halfway and let nishiki kill him for being a bad boy but he was so upset about having to kill his bro that he just lay in the corpse for a bit and thats when i decided to stop reading and i literally opened tumblr in my dream to complain about how bad it was like the writing went back and forth from being terrible to incredible and i found myself enjoying some parts and despising others. I skipped the first few chapters so i had to tab back out and read the summary like why are they in a beach resort and the summary didnt just tell me nothing but it was also double spaced between each line and very fucking irritating and while reading it i kept thinking this is extremely ooc and boring like they would not fucking say that

#Listen to my problems #i cant stress enough that i dont even ship them why did i read a sex fic about kiryu and nishikiyamer #like i believe they are the bestest of friends forever and ever and like as hotblooded young men growing up together they must have tried a #few sex moves on each other at least once but i dont think they see each other as romantic prospects. like unlike majima and saejima #(seajima) who are literally together all the time and will never travel anywhere without the other unless its to prison. kiryu and nishiki #have this understanding that eventually theyll have to part ways and find their own path. while they would always remain in each others #hearts and thoughts they knew that they couldnt be holding hands forever and besides they have to focus on getting kazama to the top not #each other !! so nishiki was very happy that kiryu was getting his own family soon even if it meant that kiryu was getting ‘ahead’ of him #and kiryu who can accept consequences for himself but no one else was just like um ... well nishiki please give me the gun and take yumi #your sister needs you or whatever <3 i am definitely expendble and prison life is for me yayy yayyyy i love going to jail so nobody can talk #to me ever again. i keep asking myself how difficult it would have been for kiryu to just pop in by the hospital every now and then to check #in on nishikis sister. its not like he cant take care of her. its not like he doesnt know how to earn money. he just straight up thinks that #nishiki is better than him so he should be the one to get locked up ... because nishiki can take care of yumi and i straigh up forgot his si #sisters name and reina and kazama without him. and nishikis like damn i wish kiryu was here so bad (looks at his wwkd bracelet) hm think ill #go insane. i literally forgot what my original point was but that fic was so bad guys im so glad it doesnt exist #in it kiryu was trying his best to keep nishiki in one place and he kept being very. well kiryu was just kiryu but he kept apologising #saying things like you cant leave yet ... and looking at him with his big sad eyes and nishiki would always be like f-fine ... (he doesnt #like it here) also nishiki was one hell of a princess type and had a nurse costume on at some point which means the yakuza server nishiki #propoganda is working on me. very weird. love the part when kiryu was randomly a big dragon because he utterly filled the hallways of their #little beach shack and his scales were nice and soft and he was lovely. little guy

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rainbow-sparks · 1 year

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I saw Jay's playthrough of Sally Face today and it made me remember how much I love this game, so I drew Sal :))!!

#seriously I just ahafgz I'm going to be so annoying about this game now I'm sorry (lying)#(everytime I say/read/etc the word seriously I read it in Ocean's voice when she's singing What The World Needs omfg)#his hair looks like that because........uhmm #cute :33 but also I just..can't draw straight hair ://#in pigtails specifically. idk why it just two ponytails so I don't know WHY I can't...#my dad is saying I HAVE to go to school or he won't pay the wifi bill uhmm apparently it 2 months behind?? uhh yeah...? oof guess I'll #fucking kms instead because if I have to be at that DAMN HIGHSCHOOL AGAIN #I am only a freshman and I already wanna bash my head into the desk #MY GYM TEACHER DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MY FUCKING NAME #AND I have to deal w/ shitty fucking allergies on top of that because my mom SUCKS and I didn't think to grad the medicine when I was #leaving yesterday morning mostly cause her BITCH ASS EX WAS THERE IN THE LIVING ROOM (that's connected to the kitchen; where the medicine #was) because she can't kick him out and she has work so she need him there anyway because free babysitting because she had this stupid #fucking kid with him 4 years ago ://#what am I talking about???#sorry for ranting babe hehe <3 back to being a silly little guy ^^!!#so my friend wants me to play D&D with her and her other friend (idk who they are?? she never told me their name)#so that's cool :)#anyway I listened to Sanity Falls again I fucking love those songs god Idk y I stopped listening to these what was wrong w/ me damn :DDD!!!#gonna queue a few post so they go up while I'm either asleep or at school #probably school cause my dad said if I'm asleep he'll beat me awake :/ so yeah...not new whatever :/#can't even complain; cause according to my parents it isn't abuse to hit you're CHILD and they had it worse so stfu and I hate you' like #WTF WAS THAT? BRO?? ughh like okay yeha I get it I've been out for a bit but like...really? has Hitting use worked EVER? no? THEN WHY ARE #THEY STILL DOING IT??........ugghhh fuck #night dude :p #omfg I ranted to much I forgot to tag #sally face #sal fisher #sally face sal

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whsprings · 1 year

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#cw// ed #cw// si #i feel absolutely shit fucking god awful #my presentation tomorrow is going to be a disaster i just know it bc my group sucks and they wont listen to me #STRESS SHIELDING DOESNT HAPPEN IN NANOPARTICLES ARE YOU KIDDING ME #i told her to take it out but noooo now we are going to look like idiots in front of the entire class #i am so scared/anxious/stressed #and on top of that i am going to have to tell my family about doing iop or whatever hloc again #fuck-- i need to decide what hloc i am even doing bc idk if iop will be enough #but i dont want to go to res place again simply because of the black bean burger mental anguish #there is always erc chicago where i could do php #but either option means not graduating next semester and doing fuckall over the summer #which the thought of that makes me want to die #oh and i also have an exam tomorrow which i dont feel super good about #mostly worried about the other stuff tho

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slipper007 · 2 years

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Cannot wait to move back to college

#cw negativity #to delete #im so frustrated #nobody listens and everything is always a personal failing.#here I am with three weeks until I go back and i gotta write two 10 page papers. that's already stressful.#so one parent nags me once a day and the other blows their top whenever they feel like it because theyre not done yet #why aren't they done? I'm working through shit from the traumatic bullshit of the year. this is a horrible work environment. I'm burnt out.#but no. go off about how I'm lazy despite straight As and never having had this issue in all my years of school.#i can't fucking sleep. my house is full of distractions but so is everywhere else. there's nowhere to work.#got kittens & im absolutely terrified theyre gonna die horrifically (thats totally not a trauma response from holding my dead cat for hrs)#I've been explaining I can't work without a desk since i was nine and yet there is still nowhere to work. kitchen has no wifi. bed has bed.#(my lil bro got a desk in 2020 except it's covered in his junk & in the living room where everyone always is so I effectively can't use it)#nobody else does shit w the kittens so they're always high energy. keeping me awake @ night. getting me up early. horseplay w each other.#trying to explain that im constantly overwhelmed by the environment gets me nowhere #trying to stay home when everyone else does things gets me nowhere #now im going to see my aunt & grandmother for a week because my gma is looking bad & she's gonna go & you're going to make me feel worse #about it??? you know how much I'll fucking hate myself if I don't go and never see her again? over fucking schoolwork???#but thank you for reminding me that I effectively only have two weeks left. very helpful. just what I needed.#and thanks dear parents for never listening when I need you to be understanding. surely if you've finished grieving we all have.#how fucking dare they say im using death as an excuse to shirk my schoolwork. as if im not constantly worrying about it.#as if I don't constantly feel like shit about it. i want my school work done too. i just. can't focus. can't sleep. can't do anything.#and they're completely unwilling to do anything to help me with that.#like fuck i always knew i wasn't good enough for them to actually care but really this is a new low i think.#ugh #i was supposed to plan and research my thesis this summer too. so I guess I'll just be behind this fall too.#best four years of my life huh?#college is a fucking joke with shit like this going on #but at least it's not here.

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