#now digital art feels wrong and bad textures and it’s not the same and art feels bad but I like art??? i don’t know I don’t know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

leomitchellart · 4 years

Text

So… about this latest Inktober controversy….

Time to begrudgingly chuck in my two penneth… (Remeber you can always press “J” to skip this post altogether)

As most of you may or may not know, Alphonso Dunn released a Youtube video wherein he publicly accused Jake Parker, and creator of the Inktober challenge, of plagiarising his book. Both of these men are public figures, artists specialising in pen & ink. In the video Dunn looks at the preview pages and flip through footage of Parker’s “Inktober All Year Round” and says they draw many similarities in the illustrations, language and layout that he used in his own book, “Pen & Ink Drawing”. Parker’s book was set to this month. Hense why Dunn only used footage and not a physical copy.

Since the video’s release, the art community has been very spilt down the middle. The book’s publisher has halted the launch of Parker’s book until the matter can be investigated. Even DeviantArt cancelled their own Inktober event thing (I’ll admit I don’t keep up with these things DA keeps doing). Parker has since released a statement in the matter. Now it’s up to the courts to decide what’s happening next. The video itself is an hour long, but it’s crucial to see it yourself.

People are, understandably, outraged after seeing it. This seems like a shitty thing to rip-off Dunn - not to mention stupid. Since Dunn is the more popular pen & ink artist with more social media followers and name recognition. Many have called to boycott inktober and condemn Parker. I’ll admit, I was right alongside them at first, at least for feeling outraged. The similarities are there. But if YMS’s Kimba video has taught me anything, it’s that, even if an accusation of plagiarism may be obvious at a cursory glance, sometimes it’s important to take a more critical eye and do more research to learn that things aren’t as cut and dry as they first seem. If there’s a lesson I can take away from the internet as a whole, it’s that no one thinks about the consequences of mob mentality.

The most common defence of Parker is that because they’re both books about pen and ink drawing, then they’re inevitably going to be similar. I’ll admit that, when you pick-up so many art books, a lot of them will cover the same basic grounds of materials, tutorials, strokes, techniques etc. The parts about rendering textures on spheres and cubes isnt new. Look up “texture study” and you’ll see so many examples of artists rendering these kinds of things digitally. I’ve also noticed a common theme of people more formally educated in art pointing out how none of these are original. Everything down to the steps and illustrations are things they’ve learned from years ago. Since I'm a pen & ink artist, inspired by my love of comics, I have quite a few books about inking: Dunn’s included. I own both his books and still highly recommend them. I didn't even preorder Parker’s book. Ironically because I didn't think it could offer anything new that my other books hadn’t already.

While Ethan Becker took the time to cross-examine Dunn and Parker’s books with several others, there weren’t many of the ones I actually owned. So I looked to my shelves to see what I could find. Books like:

“The Art of Comic Book Inking” by Gary Martin & Steve Rude

“How Comics Work” by Dave Gibbons & Tim Pilcher

“The DC Comics guide to Inking Comics” by Klaus Janson

“Making Comics” by Scott McCloud

“Stan Lee’s How to Draw Comics”

I’m sure there’s plenty more examples out there. I was planning to go through all of these and take pictures. But ultimately that’s not the core point of these post. Plus it would’ve taken WAY too long and this post itself, is long enough.

Of course, none of the them are 100% close to Dunn’s in the way they’re displayed. Not as close as Parker’s could be considered. That being said, I know Dunn is trying to claim that he invented these techniques. The nucleus of the issue is how similar they are in terms of order and how these pages are displayed. Some I can chock-up to standard practice, while others seem more coincidental.

If there’s one thing I’m adamant about, it’s that I think that Dunn should’ve messaged Parker first before making the accusation public. Some try to dispute that this would've made it easier for Dunn to be “silenced”, whatever that means; but that sounds a bit conspiratorial to me. Ideally, you confront him about it in private, if he makes any threats or blows you off, get your lawyer on the phone and then make the video. Not only is it the more civil thing to do - but it’s the smarter thing to do. This is a serious legal matter, not just internet drama. While I’m sure Dunn had no intention of tearing Parker down or getting a mob onto him, that’s unfortunately what’s happened. A backlash both from the general artisan community and several companies. Wherein it was left to Parker himself to make this an official legal matter. If Parker’s found not guilty, then this could easily leave the gate open for him to sue Dunn for damages, loss of revenue, defamation of character or whatever else, should he see fit. As could the publishers, given how this affected their sales. Companies responded to the accusation of the video alone, before an investigation could be launched. Sure, it wouldn't be “acting the bigger man” but he’d be well within his right to do it. Dunn showed that Jake has mentioned him before, shown admiration for his career and referenced him in other posts. If it comes to light in court, that Dunn is even cited as an inspiration or source in the book itself, then it’s case closed.

Then there’s the other possibility that Parker might not have done this on his own, but that he has a team behind the book. If that’s the case, the most I can accuse Parker of is being a hack. I worry Dunn has kneecapped himself for just how badly he’s handled this situation. Made worse by him not having an actual physical copy to assess and just had footage of preview pages to go on. So far, the circumstances don’t seem on his favour.

I don’t think ill of Dunn. I do think he believes he’s been wronged and no malice in his intentions. I just think he’s made some critical errors on how to handled this. As for Parker himself, I couldn't give a donkey’s doo-dah about him. I’m sure you could accuse me of playing devil’s advocate earlier, but to me, he was the guy who released the annual prompt list. If it really does turn out that he’s a plagiarist and had malicious intent, then fuck ‘im. I never regarded him as an inspiration of mine or paid much attention to him outside of that. It was the community that made Inktober what it is. I’ve never met Parker. Maybe he’s a cool guy? Maybe he’s a bellend? I don’t know.

Granted this isn't the first time Parker has proved himself to be a controversial figure: - Last year people were upset about him trademarking (not copywriting, as many have erroneously claimed) the word “Inktober” and some artists were stopped from selling their related work or zines. Parker would issue a statement: claiming the takedowns were a mistake of “overzealous lawyers” and it’s just a matter of the logo being trademarked. People can sell their Inktober works and even mention they are Inktober-related. Just not use the official logo. On the one hand, from a business standpoint, I get it. It’s the bare minimum you need to do to protect your IP, especially when you have a store. BUT, like most people, I don’t like how, what’s intended as a community challenge, has slowly become more of a brand associated with one man. Hardly a surprise it left a bad taste in so many people’s mouths. But, since it doesn't actually effect anyone’s ability to take part in the challenge, outside of personal principle, I went ahead with it the previous year.

- The year before, when asked if one can do Inktober digitally, Parker said the following:

I know some are still bitter about that, but speaking as someone who inks traditionally and digitally, this came across as needless whinging and blowing things out of proportion. Claiming that Jake had derided digital artists and said they were invalid etc etc. Take it from me, challenging yourself to try out different methods to ink traditionally can greatly improve the work you do digitally. It’s like how learning traditional fundamentals of art can still be applied to digital. Plus he never said “No.” he just gave valid reasons about how it makes it a different experience. That said, if you’re someone who can’t afford any kind of inking equipment or pens and only have a selected application to draw on - then none of this applies to you. Just the aforementioned few who took it upon themselves to get angry over nothing. Recently I’ve heard from subscribers of his newsletter that he’s now embraced the idea of people doing inktober digitally, to the point of selling digital brushes for inktober. I’m sure some will call this “backsliding” or “money grubbing” because people aren’t allowed to change their minds or update their statements.

For weeks I’ve been torn on what to do, not being able to solidify one stance over another. One minute I thought #JusticeForAlphonsoDunn then I wonder “Wait maybe I should look again?” to “But wait, those are way too similar!” Having splinters in my arse from sitting on the fence for so long. The longer this went on, however, I began to realise that I can’t take one stance over another. This case is far too muddy and complicated. I don’t have enough sufficient knowledge or evidence. Nor do any of you. We literally only have Dunn’s video to go on. While it’s a good start, it’s not enough to be taken 100% as gospel when it’s the only thing to hand.

As previously mentioned, a lot of artists have decided to not take part in Inktober at all, or follow different prompt lists. That’s completely fine. A lot of them are based around a specific theme: halloween, kinky stuff, bears, transformers, OCs, Disney or whatever. That has massive appeal. I just can’d do it myself. I prefer the focus on random words, rather than all centred on a single subject; allowing me to be creative with my ideas and execution. I actually did try to make a list of my own random words. Problem is, I worried that because I was choosing my own, I might be subconsciously bias towards certain prompts and not truly challenging myself. Even narrowing down my options was taking too long. In the end…. I’ve decided to just do the official prompts again this year.

For me, that’s what it ultimately came down to. TIME. It’s the middle of September. I can’t afford to wait for the court case to be settled. No other prominent artists I respect have released their own prompt lists. I know there’s been some shitty people who are condemning this choice. Attacking others, accusing them of supporting plagiarism, looking to block anyone who does the official prompts. Even trying to make this a racial issue. Just…. no.

If someone doesn’t want to take part in Inktober, that’s fine. If someone wants to do the official prompts, that’s fine. If someone wants to do their own prompts, that’s fine.

Don’t go around aggressively making snap judgements or accusing people of taking a side. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. This has been a shit year, let people enjoy something.

If you look at this situation and it makes you feel angry, and you don’t feel comfortable in taking part in a challenge because of it’s creator. I get that, I literally get that. It’s why I haven't done Mermay. And please don’t mention Pinktober, I’m aware of it, but given his insta video on the subject and the things he said, I quickly came to the conclusion that I can’t take this person seriously. I’m sure this might make me seem hypocritical, but how this differs, if only for me, is the sheer amount Inktober means to me. It’s more than a simple challenge. Inktober's the one thing I’ve been most excited about all year. As it was ruined for me in 2019, when I lost my home and I didn't get to complete every prompt. (Long story, I’m okay now). As we all know, 2020, has been an AWFUL year. We’ve got to take whatever joy we can. As I’ve looked longer at the official prompts, I found ideas I’m really excited for.

Once I started to really dedicate myself to it, it became a massive event. I hype myself up as I prepare for the busy month. Buy in supplies, clean the house and workspace, cook and freeze meals in bulk to save time, printing off a sheet that allows me to jot down ideas as I plan ahead. Then once it’s done, after so much work, it makes the reward all the sweeter: Ordering a takeaway, celebrating a great halloween night and still rocking those vibes throughout November. Feeling proud of myself for doing it and seeing myself improve my technique, discipline and earning a few lie-ins to make up for the sleep I lost working. I’m like a kid waiting for Christmas. That said, don’t think that there’s something wrong with you when you understandably can’t dedicate that amount time for a simple art challenge. If anything that’s plenty of reason to why you’re smarter than me. You have a life and don’t push yourself too much.

Now, I need to crack on with the preparations. If you want to boycott Jake Parker, just not buying any of his products should be enough. Doing the inktober challenge doesn't bring attention to him, as I doubt most people even know him as the creator, nor does it even line his pockets. I just hate how cancel culture can do such serious damage like this and then try and put pressure on others to act accordingly without even doing any research themselves.

As long as you’re not harassing anybody. Just do what YOU want to do. That’s fine.

#Inktober #Inktober 2020 #My two penneth #Jake Parker #alphonso dunn

100 notes · View notes

lutrain2020 · 4 years

Text

Meet the Creator!

Introducing: Squido!

Commission: I haven't and don't really intend to. I don't want to take anyone's hard-earned money. Just ask me to draw things and there's a good chance I will.

Social Media: Tumblr: @sky-squido AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_squido/pseuds/sky_squido

Tell us a little bit about yourself!

Call me Squido! I love to draw and write but I'm also super extraverted and I love interacting with humans so always feel free to chat with me! Aside from drawing and writing, I just love being outside and have a tumblr sideblog dedicated exclusively to nature photos I take. I love mountains, the ocean, the sky, and just about everything else in this beautiful world of ours! If you ever feel like having an internet stranger give you a thousand word rant, ask me why my favorite color is blue and you will not be disappointed!

What got you into creating? what inspires you to keep creating?

I've been drawing for as long as I can remember and can't seem to stop, though I take long breaks sometimes I always seem to come back to it again. I try not to have anything in mind when I draw, but to start sketching and let the drawing happen. Sometimes I find that what I'm trying to draw is not what my drawing wants to be (if that makes any sense) and change what I'm making halfway through. It makes drawing a really relaxing and carefree therapeutic experience! Writing is different. I've always enjoyed writing, but I didn't write much and never shared my writing with anyone because I thought it was super pretentious. It wasn't until entering High School and joining the literature club and making a deal with a friend that we'd share our writing with each other that I actually gained any sort of confidence in my ability and sought to improve it. Being in that club and sharing my pieces at the open mics was a really encouraging experience! I invite everyone to share their writing, even if it's with some random internet stranger (I'm open anytime!) if they're unsure of their abilities. A little encouragement goes a long way! Now that I'm on Discord, ao3, and tumblr, I receive so much more feedback than I ever have before! It's been super encouraging! What inspires me most is definitely nature. Even if my ideas aren't directly related to the outdoors, I get my best ideas there. Fandoms are also a great idea generator. The sheer volume of headcanons and prompts is enough to make me dizzy with ideas!

What's your creative process like?

I love sketching. My favorite thing about drawing digitally is that I can sketch as much as I like and never worry about wasting materials! Often times my sketches turn themselves into drawings without permission and other times they stubbornly remain sketches for all eternity. I always dive right in because I have no patience and the idea I started out with generally isn't that great but in the process of pursuing it, it spirals out of control and sometimes the idea gets better and sometimes it gets worse but I just kinda roll with it. Creating is a really chill process for me and while I regularly scream stuff like "I'M DRAWING ON THE WRONG LAYER NONONONONONO" or "NO HECK FRICK SHOOT IT SMUDGED HECK HECK GET THE ERASER QUICK," the creative process is a great way for me to unwind. I'm the same way about writing. I never plan or outline and just kind of roll with things. I mean I generally have the basic jist in mind, but I try to not have a plan so I can keep the story driven by the characters and not force them into acting the way I wanted them to in the outline I made hours or even days ago. Creating is my opportunity to break free so I don't really see what good a plan or outline does me. I'm a pretty spontaneous person!

What kind of mediums do you like to use?

I like to take pictures, but it's not really my main focus. I've been mostly digitally drawing—I use my iPad Pro and Procreate—but lately I've been pencil sketching with just your average everyday mechanical pencil (I'd forgotten how nice the texture of paper was! Clearly I spent too much time drawing on my iPad!). I have these Stabilio chalk pastels I love to pieces, but have also spent a great deal of time with watercolors. Digital is my primary medium currently, though.

Is there a specific scene wrote that you are particularly proud of?

"Sky’s golden scales are glowing with reflected light from the sun while beneath them, the same pulsing blue in her mane runs like a river as her very skin is alive with electricity. The sun’s beginning to dip, fading through the color wheel from yellow to deep orange to scarlet and the world is bathed in watercolor and hue shifted through the rainbow until all that was blue becomes red. This new alien world begins to darken as red fades to deep purple-pink, the clouds catching last vestiges of gold in their pillowy folds, yet Sky continues rippling with lighting, the bright blue flowing like blood through her veins and the gold shimmering in the eerie azure glow. We weave through the winds and zephyrs and I close my eyes and let the breeze caress my hair and when I reopen them, I’m standing back on the ground again in a world long since darkened by night. I place my hand over my beating heart where Sky is still laughing with joy and smile because once you’ve awakened your dragon, you don’t need wings to fly anymore."

Is there someone who inspires you and your writing or art?

Every fanartist and fanfic writer that posts their stuff online is an inspiration to me. Even if their stuff isn't very good—especially if it isn't very good—it's a huge testament to the courage of the creator and their bravery in expressing themself! I sat on fanfic and fanart for years and never shared it and here were kids half my age putting out art that was their first experiment in a new medium and a little shaky but it was still out there and they were still being supported by the community and that really inspired me to reach out and stop lurking in fandom and actually get involved!

is there something that you struggled with that made you grow as a creator?

I feel like everyone has these periods where they were just gaining confidence in their artistic ability but suddenly everything they make is trash and they're not happy with any of it and they feel so down and worthless and "where did all of my hard-earned ability go? Will I ever get it back?" I think this is a pretty common experience and when I find myself there, I find it most helpful to share what I make anyway, even if I hate it, with someone who I know will give it to me straight because they'll point out the deeper problems—the root of the issue—that I hadn't even noticed and I can use that information to grow as an artist. Bad pieces are just as valuable as good ones. There was also a time where I had a lot of trouble developing a style. I did a lot of experimenting and never found anything I liked. What happened is I just kept drawing and whatever popped out eventually evolved into my style. I used to get frustrated that I couldn't draw anything without a reference, but after years and years of using references and drawing some of the same things over and over again, you won't need the references anymore. I mean, they're great and you should always feel free to use them, but over time, you won't need to look up a picture of every little thing you try to doodle.

What got you into writing or art?

My silly twitchy fingers can't ever seem to stop drawing! Same with writing. Words and ideas follow me around, little plot bunnies pestering me until they get written down somewhere. I was greatly inspired by the works of C.S. Lewis in my writing, especially his Cosmic Trilogy. My art style was aided by Hiromu Arakawa's Fullmetal Alchemist, which was a valuable stepping stone in developing my own style. Other than that, it was my own insatiable desire to MAKE THINGS that spurred me onwards. I don't think I could stop if I tried!

What's your favorite part of the creative process?

After you've got that first paragraph and you've found a flow and you've got a topic and you just GO. I get into the zone and the story starts happening on its own and I'm not an author anymore, I'm just a channel between the world of the piece and the page. That's my favorite. I love watching things take shape. I love shading a sketch for these same reasons. The whole drawing comes together and becomes A Thing and it's the most exciting time to be a creator. Something else inside you has taken over and you're just along for the ride. I have no idea if my experiences are common at all but this is what it's like for me!

What's your least favorite part of the creative process?

EDITING. I HAVE ZERO PATIENCE. THE THING IS DONE. WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING AT IT. CAN I POST IT YET. This leaves me with a lot of holes in what I make and I can't do a very clean, super detailed drawing unless it's for an art class and I'm forced to keep working on it. I have a terrible habit of never proofreading my things!

What's your favorite type of scene to write?

AAH hard question! I love writing description and places where I can really let my inner 19th century romantic be unleashed but I also love a good emotional moment between two characters. Something tense. I like fight scenes, but I try to keep them brief and interesting. Sometimes I find scenes where I have no idea what's going on and I try to avoid that, but it's really hard sometimes.

What's the hardest for you to create?

I have so much trouble with endings. I can generally figure something out, but there's always a moment of panic before the end like "heck I wrote everything I wanted how do I wrap this up????" That's probably a byproduct of me planning nothing XD I sometimes have trouble with characterization and making sure everyone acts the way they actually would. The hardest part is continuing after you have an "oh heck what do I do now" moment that breaks you out of your zone and all of your ideas and plot threads turn invisible or evaporate or go wherever it is they go when you're looking for them.

What's your favorite genre to write?

ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST. Wellll... scratch that. I love something adventure-y and plot driven with a lot of really meaningful character interactions. I've always had trouble putting my writing into genres, but I guess that kind of speaks for itself in a way.

What fandoms do you enjoy creating for?

Linked Universe is the fandom I have created and posted the most for by a LONG SHOT. I found LU shortly after making my tumblr and I joined the Discord shortly thereafter. Since then, it has been nonstop inspiration and creativity for me! I tend to get sucked into one fandom and it consumes me for a few months before I silently drift out of it and never think about it again. LU is the fandom I've been the most active in EVER though—and it's still going—so there's a good chance I'm never getting off this ride.

What's the work you are most proud of?

AAAAAAAAAAH MY BABIES. okay um here's the first and only fanfic I've ever posted anywhere but I'm really happy with: https://sky-squido.tumblr.com/post/618964544219463680/turn-back-time-a-linked-universe-fanfic I have a lot of other pieces kicking about, but they're not fandom so I haven't shared them yet. I probably will after I touch them up a bit.

Do you have any fics inspired by real life stories?

Not really? I don't really know where my ideas come from to be honest!

Where do you post your finished works?

my tumblr. I tag stuff #squido writes and #squido draws so you can find them easily. I also put them on the discord but they get lost in the stream of other works pretty quickly so stick to my tumblr. I also have an ao3 now! https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_squido

If you have any fun stories about the pieces you made, please do share!

Turn Back Time was actually live written in the Discord, but entirely unplanned and in the #angst channel! It was just a headcanon but then I started describing it and like 2 hours and 5k words later I'm sitting in the Discord like "what just happened??"

#Meet The Creator #lutrain2020 #linkeduniverse #lu

33 notes · View notes

lethendralis-paints · 4 years

Text

Artist Meme

Was tagged to answer this set of interesting questions by @kourvo

(original post is here: https://kourvo.tumblr.com/post/621355098110640128/artist-meme

Thank you so much for that!

Let’s see....

1) What is the character you've drawn the most (Can be original or fanart)

This precious boy. I can never get enough of him. One of the most compelling characters I have ever come across. Love everything about Fenris and can relate to him on so many levels!

2. What colour do you often use?

Gray and brown are my faves. And all other colours have the same chance of appearing in my artwork :D

3. Any colour you are bad at using?

I don’t think so...I love them all, even the pinks and yellows people usually find hard to incorporate into a colour palette. Tell me in the comments if I’m wrong :)

4. When drawing people, where do you start?

Funnily enough - either with the front of the hairline or with the left eyebrow. Don’t ask me, why - I don’t know myself.

5. What is a character only your eraser will love?

Hmmmm...any sort of villainous character. I can’t draw evil people convincingly. I’m a huge softy at heart.

6. Which of your works took the longest time?

Big scale commission I did for @pikapeppa, featuring all the Inquisition companions, along with Fenris, Rynne and Carver Hawke. That one took almost 3 weeks, due to its sheer scope and my relative lack of experience in such large works. Pika was extremely patient with me though, for that I am eternally thankful!

7. What techniques do you use when you want to improve in drawing?

Classical art studies. Varying my technique, themes I choose and software I use. I try to experiment and go outside my comfort zone often.

8. What do you think of the art of the person who gave you this ask meme?

I adore Lillymon’s technical skill, refined style and limited colours! She is a huge inspiration for me!

9. What art tools/media are you good with?

DrawPile, Photoshop, graphite pencils and liners. That’s about it :)

10. Art tools/media you are bad at?

Traditional paints. I have no formal artistic education and my lack of knowledge comes to the forefront whenever I have to paint on a real canvas. It’s so much trial and error, you can’t even imagine....

11. What do you think about your own art?

Lately it’s one of the last few things that were bringing me joy. I hope I won’t lose the passion for it. Because at this point I’m not sure I’ll be able to find some occupation I will be genuinely interested in and good at it. I don’t know if me gravitating towards moody fantasy art speaks about my fear of facing reality. If so, idk what to do with that. I do hope to develop my skills and being able to support myself financially as an artist.

12. Do you consult references for your drawings?

Yes. A lot of them. Anatomical atlases, schemes for both academic and manga art, photographs found online and taken on my own, copying colour palettes from classical art - anything goes. I think it’s essential to develop your technical skill.

13. What do you like about your art?

Lately - consistency, both in terms of produced results and in sticking to the timelines I set to myself. I hope this lasts. I would also like to branch out to other themes and not confine myself to quirky fantasy characters, so I’m working on developing my own story behind the scenes (spoilers) :P

14. What habits do you have while drawing?

Only the bad ones, lol. Hunching forward in front of the screen, forgetting to eat, drink and letting my eyes rest. Tilting my head to the side instead of rotating the canvas....I’m an idiot XD

15. Are you good at drawing faces facing right?

I think that’s the thing I’m good at!

16. How frequently do you draw?

For the last 1,5 years - almost every day without fail, for good or ill.

17. What do you do when you have artist's block?

Change occupation and work myself into a depressed state. I changed work places in the last few years a lot, working as an interior designer, draftsman, textile designer, a cook, a bartender to name a few.

18. What must you have when you draw?

No commotion around me and a cup of some hot beverage.

19. Do you have a lot of stray lines (messy lineart)?

In the starting stage of my work process - yes, like you wouldn’t believe! If it’s a personal doodle, I sometimes just leave in as am under layer and draw clean lines on top of that mess. It looks cool in a way.

20. What is drawing to you?

An essential part of what helped me to retain my sanity in the last year and a half. Hopefully a lasting profession that will help me pay bills and survive on my own, if my life falls apart entirely later.

21. Your art goal from now on?

Broaden the themes I depict, improve my technical skill, work on personal creative project and not only fan arts. And most of all - not giving up on it this time.

22. Artists you've had influence from?

To name a few: @kallielef @kourvo @shayafury @fairsparrow who I met here on Tumblr, and many others who I follow and zealously study their works for clues on how to improve my own work.

23. Artists you like?

I am following them all either here or on Instagram, I also do my best to share their works on my side blog!

24. Which is easier to draw, humans or animals?

It was animals earlier. But now that I started to diligently study human anatomy, I would say it evened out! I’m quite confident drawing humans/humanoids now!

25. Show us an old drawing

My first digital drawing from 2010 when I first bought my tablet!

26. What is the charm-point of your art?

I ummm....I don’t really get the question? Is that like the the strongest suit of me as an artist? Intense expressions maybe? Idk. Let me know in the comments :D

27. What is the first thing you would draw if we're talking about fantasy?

Broody warriors, he-he

28. Please draw your most beloved character:

Here’s a sneak-peek of me drawing him right now! :D

29. When thinking of characters is it mostly female? male? or androgynous/no sex?

I usually gravitate towards depicting strong-willed, caring, passionate, brave, honest men and women.

30. What did you draw yesterday?

Started cleaning up that sketch from the last question, actually!

31. What is the funnest part to draw?

A circle. Mostly because you’d die laughing seeing my struggle to draw a believable one XD

32. What part of other people's drawings do you notice first?

colours, mood, eyes, hands.

33. Regarding backgrounds, what is your method of making it easier to draw?

pick your favourite textured brush, find a good reference for mood and colour scheme, zoom out, squint your eyes and start slapping colours like mad. You’d be amazed at how much you’ll be able to achieve in 30 minutes with this approach. Bare white background is the enemy - destroy it! >:)

34. What colour coordinations do you like?

Gray or brown as a main colour and then deep, earthy, saturated colours to complement the main one. Pink and orange is the combination I strangely enjoy using lately too.

35. What character did you last draw? Fenris and Eris :)

36. Does your style change easily?

I don’t think so. More like it’s evolving slowly into something more serious and deliberate.

37. What part of drawing do you pay most attention to?

Facial expression, body movement, mood and light effects. Not so much the composition and framing, he he.

38. How do you feel about drawing adult art?

Tbh, I don’t consider straight up porn to be ‘adult’ exactly. To me adult art means aiming towards serious topics, exploring complex emotions and ideas, being honest with your viewer. I did doodle a few more steamy sketches of my OTP just to see if I could, but it was definitely a tongue-in-cheek kind of a artwork that I don’t take seriously.

39. Do you like criticism from others?

If it’s friendly and in done in private - I welcome it always.

40. How many people do you normally draw per artwork?

1 or 2. Rarely more. Crowded battle scenes are definitely not my thing :D

This was fun! Tagging forward to @shayafury @schoute @stella-minerva @nug-juggler @kallielef and anyone else wishing to go through such a long questionnaire!

#artist meme #art questions #art style #lethendralis rambles #my art

50 notes · View notes

keeroo92 · 4 years

Text

Be My Nightmare Ch15

Run

The usual blood/gore warnings apply, plus mentions of alcoholism and *gasp* sex.

Word Count - 5,950

~~~~Previous Chapter~~~~

________

~~~~Reader~~~~

Ugh… why is it so hot in here?

You blinked your eyes and groaned, licking your dry lips as a pounding headache announced its presence. The familiar weight of blankets pressed upon your body, but something wasn’t right. The texture was off, like a layer was missing…

What happened to my shirt?

For that matter, why did your mouth taste like salt?

Oh shit.

The memories of the night prior flooded your mind, hazy and confused but clear enough to explain the flavor on your lips. Dinner, whiskey and drinking games, and…

Oh SHIT.

Bedding rustled as you rolled over with a grimace, expecting to find a certain murderous artist by your side. Instead, you found only empty space; the other side of the bed didn’t appear to have been disturbed all night. Was that a good sign, or a bad one?

It didn’t matter. First order of business was getting coffee and some ibuprofen. Everything else would have to wait.

You took your time clambering out of bed, muttering expletives with each motion. The neutral walls and unobtrusive decor did little to ease the urge to vomit, but it was the stairs that made you pause, remembering how you struggled with them last night.

Just take it slow. One step at a time.

By the time you reached the last step, your hands were screaming to release the railing. Even so, you waited a moment to regain your balance before acquiescing.

Your tired eyes scanned the familiar shapes of your apartment, searching for a head of tousled ebony locks. He couldn’t have left, could he? Where would he go? Was he out killing someone right this very moment?

You couldn’t discount the possibility as you found no trace of the man.

Goddamnit, V! After everything I’ve done to cover your ass…

How could he be so stupid?! If anyone saw him and recognized him, he’d end up right back in police custody! It didn’t make any sense to take the risk, what the hell was he thinking?

You pulled out your phone and opened your email, tapping at the painfully bright screen until you found what you were looking for. It was a long shot, but you were desperate. It might already be too late, you might just make everything worse, but at this point you were screwed anyway.

You pursed your lips and waited, eyes locked on the screen as if you could make him answer through sheer force of will. Every second he failed to respond heightened your anxiety, innumerable disastrous scenarios playing like a sick film in your imagination. Not since junior high had you been so anxious to hear from someone. Damn him!

Releasing a huff of annoyance, you forced yourself to set the phone down and make coffee. The pounding of your headache wasn’t going to fade unless you took action, and you needed to be able to focus and think clearly. Getting emotional helped nobody.

As you readied the coffee machine, ears perked in case your phone alerted you to a response, you noticed something odd. The dishes from last night’s dinner were clean, sitting on the drying rack as if you’d scrubbed them in your sleep.

The madman had cleaned up.

But something was missing.

He stole my sharpest knife. Fuck.

Your head swam and sweat dotted your palms. He might have taken it just as a precaution, but more likely he was out making another art piece. What message was he crafting? No doubt you’d find out sooner or later; the police would probably be in touch once the scene was discovered. At least he did his work in private areas, that lessened the chance he’d be caught in the act.

But still.

You sighed, hoping against hope that he was safe as you poured a cup of dark roast and took a sip. Bitter and strong, just how you liked it. A dose of ibuprofen accompanied the next gulp.

I’m not an idiot teenager. Sitting here and waiting won’t make a difference.

Even so, a moment later you checked your phone. Still no response. Damn him!

Part of you wanted to scream and throw the slim device against the wall. Another part wished for nothing more than a good cry. A whirlwind of emotions, swirling like a tempest at sea, leaving you to battle the waves or drown beneath them.

What if he has another episode? There’s no one there to help him and make sure he’s okay.

Going catatonic at the wrong time may lead to his death. Crossing the street, driving a car, even stalking his prey could leave him exposed and at risk. Heaven forbid it happened in the middle of his creative process; his victim would have the perfect chance to turn the tables and kill him.

But what could you do to prevent it? How could you keep him safe?

Not to mention the fact that maybe he wouldn’t welcome your aid. It was possible he left with no intention of returning, abandoning you like all the rest. All you’d have to remind you of his presence would be the sketches from his sessions and the absence of your knife. It’d be like he never existed at all, the puzzle of his mind left unsolved.

A tight ball of grief twisted your heart, pins pricking at the corners of your eyes as you struggled to swallow the lump in your throat. After all the people who’d turned their back on you, it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise that the artist did the same. What did you have to offer him, anyway? You should’ve expected it, been ready for it. Why did it always hurt so damned much?

I should just turn myself in… what’s the point anymore? I can’t fix myself; I’m going to be broken forever. No one would miss me anyway.

The thought sent a dagger into your chest, the blade twisting and shredding the last remnants of hope you held. What a stupid thing, to hope. It only brought more pain. Better to accept things the way they were than waste time striving for something better.

Sniffling quietly, you stepped away from the kitchen to part the curtains and grimace at the bright street below, just in case you could spot him. The area you lived in wasn’t crowded; the peace and seclusion brought you comfort in the past. Today, it only hammered home how very alone you were.

Another glance at your phone. Still nothing.

He’s gone.

Your shoulders curled inward as a single, strangled sob broke free. Blinking back pointless tears, you swallowed and released a shaky breath, fighting to remain in control. Old habits died hard, and crying wasn’t something you’d allowed yourself to indulge in for many years. Even as you were dying inside, you refused to let the agony show.

Stop it, Y/N. Think about something else, pull yourself together.

A dark sedan caught your teary eyes. Unfamiliar and parked a few spaces down from your own old beater of a car, it seemed out of place somehow. Like it didn’t belong; an outlier. You pursed your lips and looked closer, letting the puzzle of its presence distract you from your aching soul. Why did it stand out so much?

It’s too clean.

Indeed, the vehicle shone with its lack of filth. In a city with a grand total of two car washes, a clean car was a rare sight. Whoever drove it must have an interesting list of priorities.

Wait… it couldn’t be.

Your focus narrowed on the license plate. From that distance, it wasn’t easy to tell, but the spacing of the digits left a strange void. Right where the three letters that mark all undercover law enforcement vehicles could be found. XMT.

Exempt.

“You gotta be shitting me,” you murmured, stunned. Cops. Here, at your home.

I’m under police surveillance.

You stumbled back from the window, heart racing. Did they already have V in custody? Had he sold you out? What the hell made the cops think you merited surveillance? You’d been so careful to play along, something must have happened for them to suddenly be paying attention to you.

Not that they were wrong.

You couldn’t help but release a peal of manic laughter. This was your life now, watched by the authorities and worrying about the well-being of a man who left you behind. Pitiful.

I can’t do this, I just can’t.

V was right; you’d been hiding for decades. Concealing your flaws as best you could in the hope that you could one day heal them. Pretending to be all right when you were anything but. You’d grown so accustomed to the mask you didn’t even know what was behind it anymore.

Your body hit the counter, the sturdy structure supporting your spine as you slid to the floor. Without thinking, you wrapped your arms around your knees and curled inwards, cocooning yourself as best you could.

With your life in the state it was in, what was the point of it all? Coming back from this disaster would be near impossible. Just thinking about it made your legs feel like lead. An uphill battle to be fought alone was all that awaited you in the weeks to come. Who in their right mind would come to your aid? No; you had no allies. Others couldn’t be trusted, anyway.

V had abandoned you. Kotomi betrayed you, and Malphas… Malphas simply couldn’t be bothered. He hadn’t reached out a single time since your suspension. He obviously didn’t care about you, and he was far too intelligent not to know what really happened on the day of the fire. No, he knew. He just thought Kotomi was more worthy of his protection than you were.

And those were just the people who’d walked away in the last month and a half.

A humorless laugh split your lips. Maybe your dad was right all along.

Once they get what they want, the people I care about will forget I ever existed. Caring only brings pain.

~~~~V~~~~

Elegant fingers clutched a paper bag in a tight grip, green eyes scanning the block for any sign of danger. He didn’t think there was any reason to fear, but one could never be too careful. The knife in his pocket comforted his nerves as he crossed the last intersection and peered into the parking lot or your apartment complex.

Odd. I don’t recall that car.

His errand hadn’t taken long, perhaps twenty minutes if he were being generous. All his friends begged him to stay put, but their warnings fell on deaf ears. You really didn’t stock your kitchen well, and after last night you’d need a solid breakfast.

Beanie pulled tight against his scalp, V longed to tear it off and scratch away the irritation it brought. He’d tucked his locks within it and borrowed a hoodie from your closet to hide his tattoos. So far, it had been enough to disguise him, but this newcomer made him pause.

Tinted windows. Shadowy outlines of two figures in the front. The vehicle was parked in the ideal spot to watch the front door of the building; it would be impossible to enter without being seen. While he couldn’t be sure who occupied the car, it simply wasn’t worth the risk.

The artist withdrew, traversing the sidewalk beside your building and thanking his lucky stars for the shrubbery that hid him from view. An urge to look over his shoulder swept through his mind, but he ignored it. If someone was watching, it would only make him seem more suspicious. Better to appear unconcerned, as if he belonged here.

If one cannot avoid being seen, one can still avoid standing out.

From what he recalled, your apartment was in the south east corner, two floors up. With only one entrance on ground level, he'd need to get creative to find a way back to you.

He smirked. Creativity wasn’t something he struggled with.

Within moments he found salvation; an iron wrought fire escape firmly anchored on the eastern wall. He climbed it quickly. Surely you were awake by now, and hopefully coherent enough to let him in. If not, he could settle in and wait.

Yet through the gauzy curtains covering your window, he spotted you. Curled up on the floor in the kitchen, head bowed. Likely due to the hangover you were sure to be suffering from. Perhaps he should’ve stopped you sooner last night. He tapped the glass with his free hand.

The look on your face as you lifted your head stopped his breath. Vacant eyes, tear tracks on your cheeks on either side of your red and runny nose. It was a look he knew intimately, one of grief and mourning. He’d seen it on his own features for many months after Nero’s passing.

Whatever happened to summon such an expression of sorrow would meet the end of his blade. Quickly.

He tapped the glass again, rewarded when your face shifted to recognition. Those delectable fingers he so adored tasting wiped away tears as you came to let him in.

“Where were you?” you asked the moment he was inside. “Is that my sweater?”

This is a waste of time. She’s more trouble than she’s worth.

The artist clenched his hands and growled. “Stay out of it.”

“Excuse me?”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, setting his package on the nearby countertop. “Not you; Vergil was being rude.”

You sniffled, dewy eyed and with fidgeting hands . “Right. S- so, where did you go?”

“It doesn’t matter. What’s wrong?”

The blade in his pocket called to him, urging him to wield it against your foes. He would not allow anything to interfere with his plans for you, not when you were making such excellent progress.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing,” you said dismissively. “What’s in the bag?”

It was obvious you were not fine, but pressing the issue might do more harm than good. Better to distract you and ask again later, when you were calm. “Here, let me show you.”

Your eyes went wide as he unwrapped the chunk of meat. Blood dripped from the tissue he’d used to wrap it and beautifully soaked the counter with his favorite shade of crimson. If only he had a camera handy…

“That’s not… human, is it?”

Griffon’s raucous laughter filled his mind, but V only smirked. “Bovine, actually.”

“Ohthankgod…”

At that, he did chuckle. While the human form made a splendid canvas, it didn’t appeal to him as a meal. He had his limits. “I thought I could make you breakfast.”

As if your strings had been cut, you fell into one of the chairs by the counter and stared at him incredulously. “Breakfast… you risked being seen… to make me breakfast.”

He scoffed and reached for a frying pan, flicking the stovetop on with his free hand. “Indeed, though I wouldn’t call it a risk. I wore a disguise.”

You pursed your lips as he seasoned the meat. “You mean my bright orange volleyball sweater? Yeah, you are the epitome of discretion.”

An undercurrent of irritation spoiled your teasing statement. Shadow growled her displeasure and V clenched his jaw. Here he was trying to do something thoughtful and kind, and you only got upset with him. Vergil would surely tease him about it later. Wonderful.

“Sorry. I just... “ you murmured. “I just didn’t know if you were coming back, and-”

“And you think so little of me that you imagined I’d abandoned you?” he snapped, setting aside the spatula and turning to face you. Breakfast could wait.

You refused to meet his eyes, a stony expression locked in place like a barrier against his annoyance. “Why not? Everyone else has.”

There, she gave you the perfect opening. Leave now and don’t look back.

Yeah, even I say it’s bail time. Gotta draw the line somewhere, pal.

His patience shattered. The artist slammed his palms on the counter with an animalistic snarl, barely noticing how you jumped. “ENOUGH! My decision is made and I will not hear any further protests! Aid me or be silent, all of you!” he roared.

For several seconds, the only sound in your spacious apartment was his panting breath. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, his heart pounding in preparation to do battle, yet it seemed his friends would abide. For now.

He released a long sigh and tore the accursed beanie from his scalp, ruffling his hair to relieve the itchiness. Your sweater wasn’t far behind. A twitch of his slim wrist and the stove was off, waiting until the mood befitted a meal.

“I must apologize. My friends are quite insistent at times, but in this they cannot sway me,” he began, circling the counter to sit beside you. He peeked through his dark hair to meet your eyes, still wary but warming with each word he spoke. “Forgive my boldness, but I’m not going anywhere.”

You sniffled and offered a subdued smile. “Leave a damned note next time, okay?”

He hummed his agreement and offered his palm. “Deal. Now, come help me with breakfast.”

~~~~Reader~~~~

You spent the next half hour watching V orchestrate a feast. He moved like a dancer through the kitchen, practiced hands flying as he flipped a massive omelet and expertly seared meat. A content smile graced his full lips as he cooked; the man was truly at his happiest when being creative.

The best help you could offer was staying out of his way.

Not to say he let you sit back and idly watch; not at all. He had you chop vegetables and set the table, taking the chance to touch your shoulder or waist when you were close enough. It was peaceful, like an island in the tempest raging around you. If only things could be like this every day.

But you were a realist, and eventually you couldn’t keep from shattering the illusion.

“So I take it you saw the cops outside? That’s why you took the fire escape, right?”

V frowned as he dished up your half of the omelet. “I wasn’t sure they were cops, but caution seemed prudent.”

You sighed and carried the very full plates to the table, silverware and napkins already prepared. The savory scent of steak brought a flood to your mouth as you took your seat. “Yeah, I think I’m under surveillance.”

The sting of it still hurt. Tony and Nico seemed like nice people, but one of them must have suspicions. It was only a matter of time before the house of cards came tumbling down. All it would take was a moment of inattention, V walking by a window at the wrong moment or getting spotted on his way back inside; it was foolish to imagine he wouldn’t go out again.

So. Options.

“I think our best play is for me to leave. Since they’re watching me, they should follow. Then, you can leave and find somewhere else to lay low.”

The artist smirked, taking a bite of fluffy eggs. “I could just dispose of the issue.”

You shook your head and cut off a chunk of meat, moaning quietly at the exquisite flavor. “No, this looks above board. They’d just send more cops and get more suspicious.”

Not to mention all the other reasons murder isn’t the right way to solve your problems...

Before he could reply, a sharp knock on the door stole your attention. Your eyes and V’s went wide in unison, though his hand hovered by his pocket far too quickly for your liking. He still hadn’t returned your knife…

“Squirt, it’s me! I know you’re home, saw your car.”

Ice filled your veins. He wouldn’t leave without getting whatever he came for, he never did. Damnit, of all the times he could've picked to randomly show up! Was he drunk? What the fuck did he want? You sighed.

“It’s my father. Take your plate and go upstairs. I’ll get him to leave as soon as I can.”

The artist’s eyes flashed. “The drinker?”

“Yes, just go! He can’t find out you’re here.”

His nostrils flared, jaw tight. His posture reminded you forcefully that he wasn’t just some guy you had over for breakfast; this was a serial killer with untold amounts of blood on his hands. A man mentally unstable enough to be sent to a psychiatric hospital, with frequent auditory and occasional visual hallucinations. “Unpredictable and dangerous” was putting it mildly.

Though, some problems can be solved with murder.

“Just say the word, you’ll never have to deal with him again.”

Instead of answering him, you stood and headed for the door. Following your instructions at last, V ascended the stairs with a frown. He’d just have to deal with it, it’s not like these were normal circumstances.

With your best false smile in place, you opened the door. “Hi dad. What are you doing here?”

Greasy brown hair covered a growing bald patch on his scalp. A beer gut bulged out from his flannel tee, a stench of Miller radiating from him like cheap drugstore cologne. A few days worth of stubble cast a shadow on his jaw.

At least he’s not covered in vomit.

“Heya, squirt! You gonna invite me in?”

Do I have a choice?

“Yeah, of course. Come in.”

You made it a point to not socialize with him unless he initiated. There was too much bad blood, too many tainted memories and half-hearted apologies. He was beyond forgiveness and you were done trying to build a bridge when he insisted on burning it down. The most you’d grant him was civility, if only to avoid outright conflict.

“Nice place. Kinda too perfect, though.”

Ten seconds in, and already he’d insulted you. Not a new record, but close. “I like it this way. Uh, what… what are you doing here?”

He shot you a lopsided grin, displaying his yellowed teeth. “Can’t a father visit his genius daughter? C’mon, let’s catch up. You got anything to drink?”

Not after last night, no.

But you let him see for himself. He wouldn’t take your word for it if you tried, anyway. Like many alcoholics, he always believed himself to be the victim of persecution. As if it excused his rotten behavior.

“Nothing?” he said at last, closing the final cupboard. “Damn, you’re lame…”

“S- sorry. Maybe we can go out instead?”

It set your teeth on edge to hear yourself stutter. In high school, it’d been the main reason you got picked on, along with your father’s history. It wasn’t easy to escape the blight of sharing blood with the man. Just one night, a mere handful of hours to keep your secrets hidden. You could tolerate him that long, surely.

“Nah, how about you just run to the store and get me something like a good girl?”

Don’t you call me that. Don’t you dare call me that.

You bit your tongue. Emotions were just a chemical reaction; you were in control. He just stimulated the neurons that brought this feeling on, it wasn’t like he had any actual power over you. Not anymore.

“Look, this, uh, this isn’t really a good time for me. Can we catch up later this week?” you replied. A mask of neutrality paralyzed your face, but inside you were screaming.

Get out! Get out of my home, this place is mine and I won’t let you ruin it! Haven’t you done enough damage?

You knew better than to let the words take shape as your father settled into your couch, propping his legs up and sighing happily. “Truth is, I got evicted. Got nowhere else to go, so figured I’d stay with you until I get back on my feet. Hell, you could even help me get going like you used to.”

Never had V’s method of solving problems appealed to you more. It didn’t matter how much you wanted him to leave - you would never agree to be his accomplice again. “What about a hotel? My couch isn’t that comfortable.”

He chuckled, gesturing dismissively as if your words held no weight. “S’fine, I’ll take the bed. Oh, is that steak? Awesome!”

1000… 993… 986…

The sound of his chewing and happy moans barely preceded V’s footsteps.

No, no, nonono! What are you doing?! You idiot!

“Good evening,” the artist began, approaching your father’s meat-stuffed face with his own plate in hand. Though his expression was still, sparks of rage flickered in his green depths and his hand twitched toward his pocket. As if the situation wasn’t bad enough already…

“Uh, hi? Who are you?”

One metaphorically bloodstained hand extended over the table to shake the equally morally questionable hand of your kin. “You can call me V.”

“Heh. V. Weird name. You sleeping with my daughter?”

Someone please just kill me. I’m so fucking done.

It wasn’t embarrassment that made you purse your lips as V sat down. It was the knowledge of what would inevitably come out of your father’s lips and the potentially atomic reaction it would elicit from V.

“More or less,” replied the artist, taking a bite of his own steak.

Your father glanced at you and smirked, as if to say ‘watch this’. A sinkhole opened in your stomach as he licked his lips. This was it, train wreck in five, four, three...

“You sure you want her? She’s kinda… well... “ his voice dropped. “She’s kinda nuts.”

A flash of silver, copper staining the air as fresh blood soaked your table. Maniacal laughter and a twisted sense of relief, that at least you’d never have to hear his voice again, endure his insults or manipulations…

That was what you expected.

You did not expect V to laugh and wave you over, wrapping an arm around your waist possessively the moment you were close enough. You did not expect him to smile at you fondly and never would you have imagined his response.

“I know. That’s why I love her.”

Intricately tattooed fingers brought your hand to the artist’s lips for a kiss. You barely made it to the chair beside him before your legs refused to support you. Love… Is that what he called it? It had to be an act, some scheme to throw off your father.

He can’t be serious.

“You got some fucking shitty taste in women, then, my friend. The last guy she was with wound up dead, the one before that still can’t walk properly.”

Beneath the table, V’s hand clenched yours in a vice-like grip. His wrist kept twitching, closer to his pocket where your knife still resided. It took all your strength to pull him back.

“Dad, knock it off. Let’s get you a hotel room, we can talk tomorrow.”

He took another bite and grinned. “Whasamatter? Don’t want me talking to your newest boy-toy?”

V’s grip tightened. You winced but refused to pull away, lest he lose control. How long had it been since he killed? Most killers had a pattern, a time frame. If he were overdue, restraining it would be even more difficult.

Defuse, deflect, de-escalate.

An obviously fake laugh found its way past your lips. “Aw, don’t worry. I’ll always be a daddy’s girl.”

The source for half of your genetic material burped and polished off the last bite of steak, chewing open-jawed as if trying to catch flies. “Good girl,” he said.

That time, it was your hand that twitched closer to the blade.

By all rights, you knew he was toying with you. Playing with your fucked-up head and sending it spinning, like a child’s top or a carousel. It was his standard opening move; destroy any existing emotional framework and get you to revert to being his “good girl”. Burn you to ash so he could rebuild you however he pleased. Remind you of how powerless you were and how easily he could ruin everything you built.

Angry tears prickled at your eyes, a baseball blooming into existence where your vocal cords were supposed to be. If you clenched your teeth any harder, you’d crack a molar. Every ounce of self-control and restraint went into withholding a scream.

~~~~V~~~~

Your father was perhaps the most magnificent canvas he’d ever seen. The sheer volume of ways he wanted to carve the man into pieces outnumbered the entirety of his portfolio. A slice here, a stab there, how delicious would it be to make the man eat his own eyeballs? His steaming entrails spilling onto the floor, his still-beating heart visible through the hole artistically positioned across his ribcage; the ideas refused to slow.

But you’d told him long ago not to harm the bastard.

Not yet...

“Let’s get the dishes started and give your father a moment to settle in, hmm?” V commented.

“Works for me. Where’s the remote, squirt?”

“Coffee table,” you ground out.

The instant the abominable man turned away, he pulled you to your feet and grabbed a dish. How would your father’s spleen look on a plate? Or perhaps his cock? The artist hummed; that was an idea worth revisiting.

The kitchen was barely far enough to be considered out of earshot, but it would have to suffice. He licked his lips and asked the first question that came to mind. “Why do you let him speak to you like that?”

A muscle in your cheek clenched as you released his palm, eyes narrowed into a ferocious glare. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

Lithe fingers handed you a plate. “I strongly disagree.”

“It’s none of your business.”

Water spewed from the faucet and you commenced scrubbing, using more force than he imagined was required. He handed you the next plate. A knife was next, but he hesitated. It fit so well in his fingers, like it was calling his name…

Do it. Stab her, kill them both and leave. Enough foolishness.

He dropped the knife.

His words still echoed in his mind. “That’s why I love her.”

It wasn’t strictly a lie, but was it the truth? Why else did the monstrosity in the living room still breathe? Why else would he hesitate to slice the fool’s throat open and dance in the gushing fluid?

Yeesh, look what she’s turned you into, Van Gogh. This is just pathetic.

“Stop it,” he muttered, handing you the dropped knife as quickly as possible. The warmth and comfort it brought moments ago was but a memory. Only cold steel remained, foreign and obscene to his grip.

“Stop what?”

Kill her. She is nothing, a plaything you’ve outgrown. You’re free now, she is unnecessary.

He shook his head. Wide jade eyes searched for something safe to view. A cutting board? Perfect for slicing your thighs open. Kitchen shears? Excellent choice for severing tendons. A wine glass - the perfect container to hold your detached fingers.

Just do it, you’ll feel better. Trust us, have we ever led you wrong?

“V? What’s wrong?”

His skull was splitting, too many voices all at once and why wouldn’t they just shut up? Yours was the one life he wished to preserve, why did his friends want to end it? Far away, he heard your voice calling his name, but it was like you were a ghost calling from beyond the veil.

Kill her. Kill her. Kill her…

No!

Dainty hands wrapped around his torso, a warm voice telling him to breathe. He latched on with all he had, desperate to let those arms comfort him and bring him back to himself.

Kill her.

Agony.

Wave after wave of unbearable pain, rolling over him with no end in sight. Like a boulder on a beach, eventually he would wear away into nothingness. He was powerless against the inferno boiling his blood and the spikes digging into his gut.

Kill her.

He lacked the strength to stand and fell to his knees, groaning as he struggled to resist the shining blade glittering in the dishwasher. It would be so easy to end his suffering, all he had to do was take the handle and plunge it into your body. He could do it over and over until nothing remained but holes for him to fuck. To feel you wrapped around him was a persistent fantasy, how divine would it be to create caverns only he would ever enjoy?

“NO!”

The artist lurched to his feet and ran, sprinting to the exit as fast as his long stride would carry him. It didn’t matter that he had no sweater and no beanie, it didn’t matter that the police were right outside, he didn’t care that he would never again taste freedom.

All that mattered was putting distance between himself and you.

~~~~Reader~~~~

You stood in stunned silence as the door swung shut behind V’s departing figure. The sink still sprayed water, ricocheting off a forgotten plate to douse the counter and your stomach but it didn’t matter.

The wanted murderer you’d been giving shelter was gone. Running outside in full view of the police watching you.

Your life was over.

“Fuck…”

Somehow, throughout this whole mess you’d believed you could put your life back together. There was always a path back, always a way to move forward. It wouldn’t be easy, nor quick, but it was still possible.

V had just drenched that chance with gasoline and tossed a lit match on it.

It happened so fast; your hands still hovered where you’d been trying to hold him. Leftover heat from his body warmed the air and his scent lingered in your nostrils like a memory.

“Where’d that loser go? You scare him off?”

Your shell-shocked gaze turned to your father. Everything was fine before he showed up. Did he even know what he’d done? Did he care? “He’s… he’s gone.”

“Good riddance, I say. Now it’s just me and you, like old times.”

Old times…

There was still hope. Maybe the cops were gone, maybe V managed to slip past them. You could still salvage this. You had to at least try.

But… how?

You closed your eyes, mind racing. There were two obstacles you had to deal with; the cops, and your father. Operating on the assumption that all was not lost meant that the cops could be ignored for now. If they were still a factor, it was a moot point.

That left your father.

The man who took less than ten seconds to insult you when he arrived.

The man who coerced you into counting cards as a child.

The man who’d run over a kid in your third grade class.

The man who demanded everything and gave nothing back.

The man who would sell you out as soon as he’d blink.

The old you would have backed down and meekly done as he told you. Gone back to pretending you were okay and that you felt things the same way as everyone else. Accepted his praise and craved more, never imagining there was a different life out there for you.

I can’t- what do I do? What would V do?

You already knew the answer. He’d do what was necessary. The artist would never pretend, he’d tear the mask from his face and scream his defiance to the world. No matter the cost, he would not shy away from it.

No more hiding.

A trembling hand reached into the soapy water and grasped the same blade V stole just hours ago. How fitting, to use it for this.

It’s time to take action.

~~~~Next Chapter~~~~

#fanfiction #fanfic #Be My Nightmare #my writing #DMCV #DMC #devil may cry #reader insert #tw: gore #tw: blood #tw: alcoholism

17 notes · View notes

waitformereprise · 4 years

Note

1, 11, 17, 24 for the graphics/gif asks!

1. How did you get into graphics/gif making?

so i minored in studio art in undergrad and i focused on graphic design, digital art, and illustration!! thats where i first learned how to use photoshop. i specifically got into graphic/gif making because i wanted to create cool stuff like i kept seeing on tumblr. i should also say that gif making and graphics have been a really great outlet for me recently because they dont take me quite as much time as fanart does and they’re a good way to keep creating things while im busy with school. fanart will always be my first love and i will come back to it soon but i love the flexibility i have with graphics and gifs if that makes sense?

11. What graphics/gif trends do you like most?

ooooo i love when people can work with a TON of textures and still make it look good. i feel like i have to give a shout out to @eurydisse here because her graphics always feel very full of life and color and so so gorgeous!! at the same time, i also really admire minimalism and when people get to the bare bones of what they need to convey meaning—its something im working on getting better at.

17. Texture(s) you dislike

hmm this is tough because i feel like i have a ton of textures saved rn and you can make most of them work as long as you have the right piece? i will say rn im not as into grunge textures as i used to be but i still use them to add a bit of interest to some graphics but i dont like them on gifs. i also find space/galaxy textures harder to work with and havent found a lot of uses for them yet.

24. What is something that you’re wanting to learn right now?

oh fuck i wanna lean how to use overlays i keep fucking them up tho and idk what im doing wrong. i wanna make those pretty graphics with the snowy overlays on them but im so bad at it. if anyone has a good tutorial hmu i haven’t had time to figure it out on my own LMAO. i also rly want to get better at making gif graphics, like graphics that have gifs in them. with tumblrs larger gif size that shouldnt be hard tho.

#dwarnian #ask #:))))

3 notes · View notes

sylleboi · 4 years

Text

𝕾𝖊𝖊𝖐𝖊𝖗𝖘 | 25/11/19

When I initially heard of the content for this brief, I couldn’t help but get excited. I have a soft spot for illustration and concept art, as well as world building and writing (especially fantasy). After reading through the brief for “Seekers”, I immediately thought of a short story I have been writing for around a year and a half at this point, the plot and context fitting perfectly with the challenge that the brief sets.

During the morning we briefly went through the good things and the things that “need improvement” from the past two briefs;

Good:

Responding to the workshop and technical skills. This includes how each person within the class have responded to the challenged on a technical level, being really good.

Developing ideas past the workshop activities and building technical skill through repetition and synthesis. This is purely based upon the development each individual have gone through and made thus far and exploring beyond what the brief asks to do, as well as using more primary reseach at a higher rate.

Understanding technical terms and their use within the specific subject. This describes how well we do at resiting all the terms thrown at us.

Need improvement:

Drawing & Repetition Make sure to draw often; ideally every day, but in general just as much as possible.

Drawing from observation- draw from primary research! We do this a little, but we have to keep at it and stick to it.

Evaluate and conclude It’s important to make sure to evaluate and conclude at the end of each blog post; “What have I learnt and what will I do?” Also try and be more conclusive and forward with the evaluations. It’s also important that we make sure to keep reflecting upon everything we go through each day that we work.

Visual language Our research needs to talk more about the visual language; more about what you can see and why this is important to you and the work you have done and will produce.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈��┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

𝕾𝖊𝖊𝖐𝖊𝖗𝖘

(2D problem solving)

Aims and objectives

Be able to analyse and research a 2D problem in art & design.

Be able to use an integrated approach to 2D problem-solving in art & design.

Be able to use evaluation to support solutions to problems in 2D in art & design.

Using an integrated approach means to apply what other things we have learnt as well as integrating all the ideas we have, to create a successful concept, story and narrative for this brief.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

What have I learnt, and what will I learn now?

I have learnt:

Rotoscoping

Character turnaround

Model sheet

Frame by Frame = sequence

Illusion of life

Digital programs (photoshop & illustrator)

I will learn:

Character narratives

Fantasy

Frame by Frame animation

Key poses

Primary observation and research

Concept art

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Are there different types of characters?

Protagonist

Antagonist

Sidekick

“Damsel in distress” & “Male hero”- try and subvert to be inclusive and original!

Ice breaker task - Key terms

Find the definition for the following terms (these need to be presented in your production file in your own words to establish the character design part of your project):

Who is the Protagonist?

This is the main character or one of the major characters in a play, film, novel, etc. It is not at all unheard of that the protagonist is a heroic figure for. They make the key decisions and experience the consequences of these decisions and actions. Protagonists usually go through a journey to learn and evolve upon themselves.

Who is the Antagonist?

They are the rival of the protag. A person who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something; an adversary. They are often portrayed as characters with a dark background; an example of this could be an evil ruler that grew up in an abusive environment or something alike.

What is an Archetype?

This can be defined as a very typical example of a certain person or thing, often very generalising/stereotypes, but this is not how you would define archetypes in storytelling specifically. Archetypes can be defined as for example; the sidekick or comical release character (the jester), the mentor (wise), the innocent, the explorer, the hero, the lover, the ally, the trickster, the guardian, the shadow, the ruler, the friendly beast. Essentially, they are different roles.

The protagonist should:

Be someone the audience can identify with through empathy.

Go through changes/stages during the quest (emotionally or physically)

Break rules and makes mistakes but is always good at heart, putting others before themselves.

Quest:

A quest is a journey that someone takes, in order to achieve a goal or complete an important task. Accordingly, the term comes from the Medieval Latin “Questo”, meaning “search” or “inquire”.

Heroic protagonist (definition given from the brief):

The main character within a story and told a narrative that goes on a dangerous mission against all odds to save a group of people or a society. Sometimes, the hero sets out on a quest to find a symbolic object or person and bring it or them back to his/her/their home. They also have a particularly large presence in Medieval romance, folklore and Greek and Roman mythology, and have been playing an important role in fiction since the earliest examples of English literature.

What does the fantasy hero look like?

Artists to take inspiration from

Good/Hero/Protagonist:

Simon Bisley

Andrew Maclean

Luke Pearson

Bad/Villain/Antagonist:

Frank Frazetta

Pendleton Ward

Jeffrey Alan Love

Task:

Put together 2 similar “slides” in keynote (hero/villain) with 3 visual examples on each. We then printed them out and then answered the following questions in note form around the artists we chose;

Describe the visual language (line, texture, tone, colour, shape, form) using descriptive words & sentences

What does this visual language (the way it looks) communicate about the character/personality?

In your opinion, what visual characteristics of the artwork make the example particularly heroic or villainous?

Good/Hero/Protagonist:

“Hey, you.”

Describe the visual language (line, texture, tone, colour, shape, form) using descriptive words & sentences

Tony Zhou Shuo is a very inspiration artist in my eyes. In the majority of his artwork, he manages to convey shape and readability clearly by using minimal strokes. This is something I have learnt to understand is key for illustrating concept art or general illustrative work for stories. An example, different from the use of shape, is the texture of the brushes he uses. They are rough, creating a feel of sand moving across the rocky desert.

What does this visual language (the way it looks) communicate about the character/personality?

To me, it feels mischievous, but not necessarily in a villainous way; which is what drew me in to this piece in particular when attempting to find some inspiration for my own character/characters. The hooded figure in the foreground is the main subject, looking back towards the sound of the strangers, thinking the hooded person is just the same to them, a stranger. This automatically makes your eyes wander to the figures in the background, that then point back to the hooded figure. It’s a very smart approach for conveying storytelling within a still image. As an illustrator in particular, it is crucial that you can convey the wanted message or meaning without the use of motion or sound; this is much like in film-making or book writing; if you are vague or limited in the way you tell the story, the viewer automatically fills in the blanks.

In your opinion, what visual characteristics of the artwork make the example particularly heroic or villainous?

The fact that the overall mood of the painting is portrayed to be bright and warm gives me a feeling of the character in the foreground not actually being “bad”, just questioned (the title being “Hey, you”) and potentially unwanted. I suppose an example of this could be Assassins Creed. The main characters within this world are feared and unwanted by many since they are assassins sent to kill, yet they are not portrayed as being the villains of the story, but in fact the opposite. It all depends on how you choose to portray the character in a given scenario. It can very easily be altered, which is what I did to prove that this point stands. I did this very quickly by just adding a multiply layer and some stars and highlights (as if the hooded guy now is in the spotlight, caught off guard, now indicating that they are up to nothing good.):

“Viking Boy”

Describe the visual language (line, texture, tone, colour, shape, form) using descriptive words & sentences

I absolutely adore the art style of Tim Mcburnie. It is very stylistic, but it has its own unique flare to it with the use of brushwork and texturing. Primarily this is seen in the landscape. I think he uses different pictures of watercolour and setting the layer mode to something like overlay to create those moody and strong, gritty textures. With the art style being heavily stylised compared to Tony’s work, he uses line very efficiently. Despite the line work being relatively loose and messy, it still manages to make the subject/subjects (the boy and the Viking huts ((village?)) + smoke in the background) stand out without feeling as if they are completely out of place.

What does this visual language (the way it looks) communicate about the character/personality?

The visual language used for this painting in particular, manages to communicate the rough environment that was the Viking age (793–1066 AD). Back then things worked more primitively; death often being brutal and inevitable if either sick or on the wrong side of the border to enemy territory.

In your opinion, what visual characteristics of the artwork make the example particularly heroic or villainous?

The composition I find to be really appealing in this particular piece. The way that the boy feels as if he’s gone from his home in the village behind him to begin a journey. He looks young and his expression resting on his face communicates that he seems nervous and wary of his surroundings. To me, he seems innocent and not a person based upon anything evil; like a hero in the making.

“Night Trip”

Describe the visual language (line, texture, tone, colour, shape, form) using descriptive words & sentences

For context, Night Trip is a short comic story done by the artist Mi Dong. I chose this piece in particular (the cover for the story) for multiple reasons, with the main one being his use of line. The comic itself is only illustrated using line work, which isn’t uncommon in comics, but even the cover itself portrays what you can expect in a very clear way. This is what really drives the interest to this Mi Dong’s work in particular. The use of colour and value for this cover picture has clearly been thought about; For the values, it is easier seen when making the illustration black & white;

When looking at the desaturated version, the values already speak clearly by themselves, even without the aid of colour. The subjects base value is much brighter than the backgrounds base value. This makes sure that the viewer can differentiate the subject from the background without a struggle. It is also worth mentioning that the choice of line has also been used to create texture, which works very well as a stylistic approach since it matches all the other aspect of this illustration that I have gone over previously.

What does this visual language (the way it looks) communicate about the character/personality?

The overall feeling that I get personally is a mix of “overwhelmed”, “daunting” and “fear”. This I believe is based on the fact that the texture of the line work plays such a big role in making the piece come to life. If there were no texture and only flat colour, it wouldn’t portray emotion as strongly and confidently as it does with the texturing applied. The texturing used in this drawing also indicates some kind of “danger”. This is purely because of the way that Mi Dong has chosen not to use any texture on the main subject; in fact, there has only been used flats for the foreground subject- signalling a sense of purity compared to the looming figure in the background.

In your opinion, what visual characteristics of the artwork make the example particularly heroic or villainous?

I think that with everything mentioned about this piece of artwork, It definitely leans toward the feeling of “heroic” if you focus on the main subject, but I also definitely shares traits of “villainous” characteristics if focusing on the background subject. Without knowing the content of the comic itself, the figure seeming to be looming in the dark and behind the subject, the figure might be a distorted version of the main subjects; indicated by their eye colours being the same; infant, they share all the same colours. Weather that’s nothing but a stylistic choice, or of a deeper meaning, it works quite well, because it lets your mind wonder “What does this mean?”, “Why does the person look so afraid?”, “What are they afraid of?- Why are they looking at me? am I the monster?” That is why this cover is successful. It makes the reader want answers, therefore willingly indulging themselves into the story, narrative and plot-line, on their own quest for answers based upon their curiosity.

Bad/Villain/Antagonist:

“Dragon hunters”

Describe the visual language (line, texture, tone, colour, shape, form) using descriptive words & sentences

I chose this piece for several different reasons. The obvious being; the dragon. My entire plot is based upon the lore of dragons and how they are hunted down by men, so this was great inspiration! The other reason is how my “villain” is not actually anyone in particular, but instead, it is the society living in the universe I have created. People are the ones killing what isn’t actually there to cause harm, but everyone believes that the dragons are cold-blooded killers. Loosely, this is the basic premise of which I base the plot in reality; We kill the earth in ignorance with pollution and plastics choking life, even in a literal sense. - In my story, mankind does this, but with the dragons. They are in the way, and the quickest way to get rid of them is by eliminating them. The drawing is highly rendered, which is what initially (alongside the use of perspective and scale) drew me into it. This illustration doesn’t need words to explain what is happening. The storytelling is so clear and loud, which is absolute key when portraying story within a limited amount of frames (or often even just by using a single canvas).

What does this visual language (the way it looks) communicate about the character/personality?

This question can be interpreted in different ways depending on who you refer to; the dragon or the hunters. The dragon seems to be fleeing from the hunters, trying to take it down. For some reason, the overall perspective and scenario reminds me of when you go hunting for the air balloons with your parents in the car to see where they land; it almost in itself feels like a quest. In the painting, it can be argued as to who the bad guy is, the dragon or the hunters? This is where, once again, ones imagination comes into play to fill out the “gaps” and attempt to answer all the questions it sparks. “Why is the forest burnt down?”, “Did the dragon do that?” If so, then why did it do that?”, “Is it evil or did the hunters agitate it or scare it?”.

In your opinion, what visual characteristics of the artwork make the example particularly heroic or villainous?

I think that the fight between whether the dragon or the men are the villain in this is what makes it stand out so much. It tells the scenario clearly, but yet there are so many unanswered questions left to be looked into. You could write an entire story just from this premise alone.

“Dragon Hunter”

Describe the visual language (line, texture, tone, colour, shape, form) using descriptive words & sentences

I chose this piece of artwork done by Julian Calle for several different reasons; one of them being the use of colour and a potential underlying meaning hiding. The colours used in this illustration are all very desaturated, which works well when referring to the content and scenario of what's happening. It gives off a strong and moody feel without the use of a wide arrange of colours. The other reason to why I chose this piece of artwork in particular, is to do with the fact that it most definitely is based on the Viking age (Which my concept is as well). You can tell by the types of weapons, tattoos and the shield in the background, all being very typical for this time period; Even the shoes are common for this time period.

What does this visual language (the way it looks) communicate about the character/personality?

Because it feels so messy despite the fact that it’s highly rendered, it gives off the feeling of the aftermath of a long battle. You can almost imagine the characters chest rising and falling to even out their breathing, with the sound of the crows’ flapping wings, settling around the dead bodies of the battlefield. - What I found to be particularly interesting is how a deeper meaning of “a new beginning” after an “end” might be lurking within the sky; behind all the fog and the dark clouds is a blue sky slightly peaking through. In old folk lore, it is not at all unheard of to have used the idea of death being a new beginning, so I thought this was a really smart detail.

In your opinion, what visual characteristics of the artwork make the example particularly heroic or villainous?

I put this in the “villain” section due to the fact that I personally really like how the hunter almost looks barbaric; fearless and bloodthirsty in battle. This is definitely something I will be considering for the design aspect of a specific army in my concept, thought it could also be interesting to try and translate this very “barbaric” design into something that leans more towards the role of a blacksmith or craftsman.

“Swords”

Describe the visual language (line, texture, tone, colour, shape, form) using descriptive words & sentences

“Swords” by the talented concept artist Max Steksov is a small collection of illustrations that focus on a heated battlefield. I have known this guys work for a while, and I really enjoy looking at his work. His eye for doing composition and making every aspect of a drawing move, despite it actually being still, is impeccable. Each detail has a meaning to it. He uses texture, but compared to the other artists mentioned in this list, the texture he uses is very fine and less saturated. I find this to be a great way of levelling out the clean feel of his style, while still conveying the gritty and harsh reality that battles that shed blood are.

What does this visual language (the way it looks) communicate about the character/personality?

To me, I find it to be very successful in conveying a lot of aspects related to war; how morbid humanity can be over things that, in the bigger picture, seems pointless at times. Since I myself have a war integrated into the plot of my story, I found this incredibly inspiring.

In your opinion, what visual characteristics of the artwork make the example particularly heroic or villainous?

As mentioned: war. Even if it’s portrayed as a heroic thing to do (fight for your pride, land, country or/and freedom), there are also some more villainous underlying factors hidden within this; at the end of the day, all these men battling and killing each other are just like one another; normal men. There are countless stories from WWI and WWII that talk about how soldiers from the enemy have become friends when holding some captive for a little while, to then be forced to murder them a few days later. It’s a dark concept, but that is also just the reality of it.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Once we had finished the task given, we went over all the different types of creatures and character roles that we could think of, dividing them up into the stereotypical “Good” and “Bad” and “Unsure”, as well as “Accessories” and “Historical inspiration”, all for the benefit of letting ourselves get inspired by the words listed below for our own concept;

𝕸𝖞𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖑 𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖘:

Good:

Fairies Unicorn Pegasus Dwarf

Sage (wise/medical) Cleric Paladin

Fawn/Faun Genie Gnomes Knight

Blacksmith Druid Monk

Griffin Hyppogriff Mermaid

Berserker Phoenix Whisp

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Bad:

Goblin Kelpie Boggart Minotaur Hydra

Pixie Krampus Medusa Banshee

The headless horseman Orges Orcs Nymph

Cyclops Triclops Cerberus Orthrus

Warlock Kraken Succubus Direwolf

Imp Manticore Cocotrice Gorgon

Basilisk Cthulhu Syrens Zombie

Ghoul Skeleton Wraith Gargoyle

Reaper Chimaera

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Unsure:

Dragon Familiar Witch Demons

Yokai Trolls Yeti Giants

Centaur Kings and Queens Elf Samurai

Gladiator Rogue Prince and princesses

Kaijo Werewolf Vampire/Vampyr

Elemental Jörmungandr

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Accessories:

Sword Dagger Katana Axe Wand

Shield Potion Spellbook

Crystal Cauldron Spear Broomstick

Crystal ball Scroll Flask Crossbow

Bow and arrow Hammer Witches hat/hats

Armour Helmet Jewellery Flail

Bottle Lantern Knife Torch

Cloak Sickle Sai Whip Pick

Scythe Nunchucks Chakram

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Historical research:

Greek mythology Nordic/Norse mythology

Local witch trials Irish folktales

Scandinavian folklore Japanese folklore

Egyptian mythology Biblical references

Roman mythology

2 notes · View notes

cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

Text

COMMANDER LILITH

THIS NEWS @ ME AND THE VINE COMP

LETS GOOOOOOOOO

BEST NEWS FIRST

IT’S SUPPOSEDLY FREE AND COMING OUT NOT THE 11TH BUT THE 9TH LIKE THIS MONTH THE 9TH LIKE IN 4 DAYS

I FEEL BAD FOR THE PEOPLE GOING TO E3 CAUSE NOW THEY CAN’T PLAY THIS DLC UNTIL THEY GET HOME, F IN CHAT FOR THE BOYS

HOLY SHIT THIS IS REAL OKAY

EVERYBODY STAY CALM

SANCTUARY IS UNDER SIEGE

TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW, BABY

THE VAULT MAP HAS BEEN STOLEN

OH WE’RE OFFICIALLY CALLING IT THE VAULT MAP NOW, OKAY, CALYPSO TWINS CONFIRMED TO HAVE TAKEN OUR OLD KEY

YOU KNOW WHAT’S NOT CONFIRMED WHATEVER THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH ALL THESE GODDAMN PLANTS

YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT OLD CANCELED TPS DLC? OF COURSE YOU DO, THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE APPARENTLY USING AS A BASE FOR THIS ONE

REMEMBER THE “INFECTED” STATUS EFFECT? WELL, I’M ASSUMING THAT’S WHAT THE TOXIC GAS IS

“A DERANGED VILLAIN HELL-BENT ON RULING THE PLANET” SO WE’RE NOT FIGHTING THE CALYPSO TWINS?! SOMEONE UNDER THEM??? I ALMOST WANT TO BELIEVE IT’S SOMEONE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT- JUST SOME RANDOM ASSHOLE WHO WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD AND THE TWINS SHOW UP AT THE END OF THE DLC AND WIPE HIS ASS OFF THE MAP FOR US AND YOINK THE VAULT MAP THAT IS RIGHTFULLY OURS AWAY FROM UNDER US

NEW LEVEL CAP 80?? HOLY FUCK?????? AND WE CAN START PLAYING IMMEDIATELY AT LEVEL 30 OH MY GOD I COULD KISS WHOEVER DECIDED THAT WAS NECESSARY I LOVE YOU

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR OP LEVELS? AM I GONNA BOP IN WITH MY OP8 ZER0 AND END UP FIGHTING ENEMIES AT LEVEL 88 WHEN I FINALLY LEVEL UP??? WHEN MY GEAR IS LEVEL 80 (AS THAT’S WHAT OP8 DOES) BECAUSE OH MY SWEET JESUS I DON’T WANNA GRIND MY HIDE OF TERRA AGAIN AHHGGGGGG

okay im gonna take a breath now

we’re calm

we’re good. this is good, we’re okay, i have to type everything 5 times over so its coherent but you know what this is okay this is happening, we’re cool.

i have to be the bearer of bad news as well but i don’t know if those screencaps of the ship from bl3 are what we’re seeing here in the new dlc (as much as I want to be right lmao). the screencaps of the ship definitely seemed like a insect infestation, not a plant one, ya know?

THEY’RE TURNING THE CARS GAY

or at least like... Buttstallion themed... check out the little horseshoe emoticon in the back there

but it’s pride month, they totally knew what they were doing and the fact that pre-ordered copies of bl3 apparently get a buttstallion themed skin for their ...gear... guns..? iirc... that means we can have gay guns in bl3, too. gearbox is treating us so fucking right, thank you

anyway the location the car is in looks like the highlands or a hammerlock’s big game hunt-type area. mossy/grassy with boulders in the background.

it looks almost like uranus spawns in right at the start of the dlc! which is awesome, and now i understand why they boost you to 30 before you start.

im verrrryyyy interested in that shot of Sanctuary up in the sky there. you can see the drill, its surrounded by a cloud of dust, it looks like its falling to pieces. i also don’t know where exactly this screenshot takes place but my first thought was the eridium blight (because of the mountain in the back) but that wouldn’t match the sky at all. I then thought maybe the ruins of helios? but we would be able to see more rocks and shit around the edges. then i was all “maybe the highlands”? the rock would match as it has grass growing on top, and sanctuary is very close to overlook, so it’s definitely possible. im gonna say somewhere near the highlands, yeah. the WEP and Opportunity are both fairly near there and it does have some pretty mountainous areas... so. maybe the highlands.

it looks like the giant vines are reaching up towards sanctuary so i retract my previous statement. i don’t think that’s dust. i think they’re drilling away at the plants trying to grow up to it lol

“Shooting the Moon” makes me think this has something to do with Elpis (not a surprise, if you realize the dlc they’re basing this off of is an old TPS dlc called Luxy’s Space Adventure where a bunch of mutated plant people end up on the space-cruise ship)

honestly i’m really fucking hoping they bring back the flamethrower for the final boss (elon musk’s..?)

an area where we can see exactly what this space-cruise ship was supposed to look like

we also know in the dlc that the disease was spread by some space pirates, so i don’t know if that’s going to be the case here (they board the cruise ship and start spreading disease). Loader bots are apparently ‘Hacked’ so it’s probably not Hyperion we’re going at again. I could see them throwing the space pirates at us, tho maybe changing the guys a little bit so it’s not too much like Captain Scarlett.

there is this boss character and that logo on the bottom, possibly a logo for who we’re going to fight in the new dlc? Interestingly enough, she’s got the red and black color scheme, too. cough troy cough. god them having space pirate as a backstory would be fucking AWESOME

i have been going thru the concept art album here if you want to take a look for yourself and tbh

this pic got me thinking about that “Atlas ice cream shop” prompt the VA for lorelei released 🤔

anyway, moving on from old dlc to what’s new! because lord knows they must’ve changed a lot lol

the infected psychos on the title art

also, correct me if im wrong, but it looks like lily is standing in 2 places at once- flying sanctuary on the right and three horns divide on the left

anyway

uranus looks a lot more DAHL themed than i originally noticed, like yeah he looks like saturn, but check that color scheme. may be the work of the new baddies.

this logo may hold some importance, but i can’t recall ever seeing something like it before.

so this minimap

lucky me i extracted all the textures from bl2 a couple days ago

im very pleased to say this doesn’t look like any minimap we’ve been shown so far, although i did a very quick glance through, so if you guys recognize it, please tell me!!

i can’t believe they made the guns sparkly and gay. Thank you gearbox. fucking thank you.

the area sal is in reminds of that one place in frostburn canyon, but i doubt that’s actually where he is. likely a new area we haven’t discovered yet!!

lily

the background is uhhh disgusting, but it is giving me WEP vibes, with the windmill/lighthouse (wherever that area is where you find maya’s ECHO log) and the walls. though the texture of the ground is giving me hammerlock’s hunt vibes.

anyone know why her wings are giving off the digital pixel look angel’s did? like the digistruct vibe?

weird.

tina! she’s clearly playing a big part in this dlc. wondering if pickle and athena are also around. I don’t think this is sanctuary. the big wall in the back. perhaps where the vines are actually growing from below the mining ship?

would then pin this as somewhere near overlook.

brick! looks to be the same-ish area as tina (if the buildings have anything to say about it)

honestly the people in the ground is killing me lol. person on the left seems like some random civilian..? he’s just got pants and loafers on. maybe the cruise ship crashed on pandora and the pirates aboard are taking their changes lol

doubtful, though, considering the plan seems premeditated with the huge cloud of toxic gas and shit

now I’m just wondering if the reason the CoV psychos are wearing those respirator-like masks is because the twins showed up with them and were like “if you wear these ‘blessed masks’ when you go to fight the plant shit, you won’t die. yeah, we’re gods. join our cult lmao”.

im just really curious how this ties into the CoV. I imagine either the twins are working with the (new?) villain somehow, or they end up stealing the Vault Map away from us (and possibly killing the bad guy first) at the very end of the DLC. I do want to entertain the idea that they’re like “hey!!! we can help!!!” and then end up betraying us right at the end and toppling Sanctuary for good and taking the key.

alright, that’s all i’ve got. I’m gonna go scream into my pillows now until the 9th happens.

btw, season 1 of vip stuff happens TOMORROW (the 6th!). hype!!!

edit:

lilith’s digistruct pack has a red accent on it now

im wondering if this is some sort of projection of Lily since her wings have the weird pixels...

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #bl3 #HOLY FUCK #commander lilith and the fight for sanctuary #aaaahgdfjhfhgdgsdf

14 notes · View notes

designresearch-amywight · 3 years

Text

Robert Fisher

Method,

Kurt Cobain already had a vision for the cover. Fisher took this idea of a baby being born underwater and went to the bookstore to find images that could be used. After going through hundreds of birthing books and baby books. Fisher realized that they were far too graphic to use. This idea of childbirth was then ruled out, and the idea of a baby simply being underwater was born, however the band wanted something more. Cobain came up with the idea of adding something like fishhook and a dollar bill to make it more menacing. The idea came together organically. Fisher needed a photographer and found Kirk Weddle to do the job, he specialized in ‘submerged humans.’ They went to the Pasadena Aquatic center and got 4 or 5 different parents to come and use their babies. They took turns passing their babies in front of the camera. They used a doll for test shots. A week after the shoots there was 40-50 proof sheet shots. The image that was chosen was ‘perfect’ according to fisher, in the context of positioning and the look on the baby’s face. Before computers the images were sent off to darkrooms to do what photoshop does. Fisher requested the fishhook and took some photos and set up polaroid’s of how he wanted the dollar bill to look and be positioned. It would be then sent off and come back 4 or 5 days later. Finally, when the image came back the last thing to perfect was the text. Fisher used a xerox machine and as it was scanning pulled it and wiggled it. He then did it on the opposite side and got the wavy type. This was groundbreaking in those times. The success of never mind was partly due to the incredible cover and the cover is now featured in the museum of Modern Art’s Collection.

O. Campbell, The Designer of Nirvana’s Nevermind Cover on Shooting Babies and Working with Kurt Cobain, The Work behind The Work, https://milanote.com/the-work/the-designer-of-nirvanas-nevermind-album-cover, Retrieved 25th August 2021.

David Carson:

Method:

David Carson was the first art director of Ray Gun a grunge and independent music scene. Carson was well known for breaking the so called ‘rules’ of graphic design. Carson didn’t standardize the pages or allocate any type of numbering system. Carson created rigid patterns and non-cohesive layouts including the leading, white space and disorganized margins. Carson said himself “a lot of people … simply take in visual information differently now” the inconsistency in the pages confused the readers. Some viewers hated it and others loved the disorganized feeling that the magazine portrayed. Carson’s own reflection showed he was simply trying to express the information that made the most sense to him which was a rebel against modern design. Carson had done a lot of work by hand, by cutting out and rearranging layouts and sending them to printers to be pasted down pieces of art. The pages of Ray Gun although not stereotypical pieces of Design was a groundbreaking experiment in which no one had seen before. Breaking the rules of classic graphic design and expanding the box of ideas in which design had been done in before.

Lees-Maffei, G. (Ed.). (2014). Iconic Designs: 50 Stories about 50 Things. London: Bloomsbury Visual Arts. Retrieved August 25, 2021, from http://dx.doi.org/10.5040/9781474293921

Carl Herner

Method:

Carl Herner a graphic designer focuses on using tools in non traditionalways or in even in the wrong way. The project was MacGuffin Magazines trousers’ issue. Herner was asked to illustrate the article of the Fantastic Man’s Founding editor; Gert Jonker’s , where Jonker’s talked about his favorite pair of trousers. They needed the visual element for the article. Working with the Magazines art director Sandra Kassenaar. Focusing on 3d software Herner and Kassenaar started to scan digitally real trousers that was found in studio. The trousers were scanned in piece by piece until they had scanned the whole pair of pants. These were then sent on file to Herner individually. They then built a pair and stitched the files together around a body which made a 3d model. The next step was to create a texture map of where the stitching would go. These could then be manipulated digitally as if someone was wearing them. Herner discussed the idea of fluidity and how the pants without anyone in them is about the movement and the texture of the pants. Not about the person in them.

Alif Ibrahim, 29 October 2019, Carl Herner deconstructs garments with his non- traditional approach to digital design, It’s Nice That, https://www.itsnicethat.com/articles/carl-herner-graphic-design-281019, Retrieved 25th August 2021.

Hannah Höch

Context:

Der Maler was a piece created by Hannah Höch in satire. Höch Wrote regarding the piece in reference to sexism of the Berlin Dada Movement in which she believed there was an underlying the movement. It also referenced German politics, male privileged and scientific objectification. The story goes that a modern painter by the name of Gotthold Himmelreich which means “God-Beloved Heavenly-Kingdom”, was forced to wash dishes by his wife. He felt degraded as a man and his manhood suffered under a feminine soul. Himmelreich becomes determined to overcome this suffering through his painting. He wanted to represent the likeliness between the female should and the nature of chives. He believed that emptiness filled both of these objects and presented it as if scientifically dissected. The story shows the frustrations and self-doubt of this man Himmelreich. And reflects the idea that every man ultimately fails to represent and or control the essence of a woman. This piece was represented in the form of photomontage. Was produced by the images and type that the mass media printed for the public.

Haakenson, T. O. (2021). Grotesque visions : The science of berlin dada. ProQuest Ebook Central https://ebookcentral.proquest.com

Ken Done:

Methpod:

Ken done was commissioned by The Powerhouse Museum in Sydney to paint the walls of the restaurant inside the museum. Done suggested painting it in a garden theme. This was suggested to alleviate the industrial architectural design of the powerhouse, the garden theme was to deflect the brick walls. Starting with drawings and ideas for dining ware, such as plates, cups, placemats etc. Done then moved on to a model replicant of the restaurant with a removable and lift off roof which was made by the museums model maker Iain Scott-Stevenson. The idea was to use vivid shapes and colours over all of the surfaces including the ceilings. These bright colours and shapes were to elevate and enliven the interior. Done turned a peculiarfeature of the room into a beautiful painting, in the pitched ceiling where the roof meets the vertical walls. Done took this feature and painted giant green leaves and fronds. Done plays with the illusion of space and form he “leans into the surroundings.” Done plays with imager and layers to energise the surroundings. Done took into account the lack of windows and in response he painted a yellow sun on the peak of the roof. Done included yellow rays of sunlight which draws attention to the height of the south wall. Done included sculptures of vases and flowers around the restaurant and paintings over top of the painted walls to preserve his work. Done’s playfulness and secondary objects is to serve as a memory of what was once there if the museum ever painted over his work. This was compared to the Rex Whistler Restaurant in the Tate Gallery which was left for 70 years.

T. Measham, R. Hara, A. Van de Ven, Y. Kinameri, R. Wood, M. Tawara, D. Lee Brien, E. Buzby, 1994, Ken Done the art of design, Powerhouse Publishing

Andy Warhol

Context:

In 1977 and 1978 Warhol and his assistant Ronnie Cutrine started an experimental project of works: The Oxidisation Piss and Cum paintings. After Warhol’s last movie “Andy Warhol’s bad” in 1976. Warhol wanted to stray away from his recent pop art and society portraits and focus more on abstract art. In his diary entry from the 70’s he had admitted that since being shot by actress Valerie Solanas in 1968 he hadn’t produced any “good” art. His critics reducing him to society portraitist. Warhol wanted to change this and keep his vanguard status by trying these experimental projects.

Method:

Warhol pulled out a canvas of conceptualwork from the 1960’s in which he had urinated on a white canvas. Using the same participants who had collaborated in the torso and sex paintings from 1976 to early 1978. The paintings were made with urinating, pouring, or dripping urine onto primed canvass’s with either copper or gold metallic paints, which created varied colour and textures. These chemical experimentationsturned invisible paintings into visually viable artworks. The rich gold and green colours created these lush colour fields paintings with varied colour and textures.

A. Warhol, J. Schnabel, 2009, Andy Warhol The Last Decade, Prestel Publisher.

Richard Hamilton:

Context:

Richard Hamilton wanted to create realism with his phycological experiments. The dark and chaotic “murder” scenes he would create were reference to the violent epidemic in new York at the time. These outlined figures with red paint as reference to blood, would catch people off guard. Hamilton wanted these public art pieces to be a reminder that we could all be victims as soon as we stepped outside. Hamilton would find and locate important parts of the city such as the city hall and the library’s and other locations to serve as a reminder of what was happening in the city at the time. Hamilton also set up an office as if he was a detective and called him self Mr Ree Dick Trace It. The play on the name Mr Ree was in reference to his mysterious outlined figures. In this office he put up maps and painted over in red paint as if to replicate blood to reference the bloodshed in the city. His figures made the news and Hamilton wanted to play with the media, as they weren’t sure if these were actual murders or what they were as public art wasn’t common in the 70’s. This confused the police, Hamilton took this further by putting up wanted posters of himself however this led to him being told he would never be given a grant again. This phycological experiment wasn’t his only public phycological piece of art. Hamilton followed the outlined murder victims with a piece called I only have eyes for you, which was life sized figures of himself stuck on walls with blueprint paper so they would fade to white shadows with the weather. This figure represented a man lost in the city all dressed up with nowhere to go. Hamilton’s experiments and public art pieces confused and shocked the public which was his intent with these phycological pieces.

O. Jacoby, 2017, Shadowman. Java Films.

Roy listechstien

Method:

Roy Listechstien was a notable artist for his pop art; however he took it one step further with his brushstroke sculptures which were commissioned in cities such as Tokyo, Barcelona, Washington and other cities across the world. These pieces were looking at how to isolate a 2-dimensional brush stroke. The process started with left over cut-outs from his paintings and collages focusing on the singular stroke. After arranging these cut-outs Listechstien would sketch the positionings on the wall in pencil. The problem was looking at the art in a 2-dimensional way although it was a 3-dimensional peice of art. The focus was on the way the brushstrokes serve a dual function. On canvas they break themselves down into linear shapes of the pieces of hair from the brush however, Listechstien turns it into a way in which these shapes overlap. Listechstien focuses on the movement of the brush this movement takes them from a 2-dimensional piece to 3-dimensional sculpture. Listechstien refers to them as cartoon like saying that we don’t see a cartoon explosion as a real one, but we still understand what it is, an explosion. Listechstien uses this same idea for his brushstrokes. Listechstien put smaller versions of the models onto images of the buildings to find the right spacing although it was a public commission Listechstien wanted to be sure that he liked his pieces first regardless of the public opinion.He drew the life-sized pieces on a piece of paper which were 20 feet long so he could see what they would look like before sending them off to the welders and sculptors. These sculptures were a challenge to him and a challenge to the public to appreciate art as a human value of acceptance.

Trottenberg, M. 1995 Roy Litchenstien: Tokyo Brushstrokes. Checkerboard Film Foundation Inc.

Keith haring

Context:

The apocalypse series was a collaboration between two queer artists Keith Haring and William S Burroughs. These Ten pieces were created by Haring and the writing that accompanied them was written by Burroughs. The Title Apocalypse was a reference to the book of revelation in which this piece was inspired by. Haring wrote in his journals of his concern of his work being obscene. The apocalypse series was a queer take on the book of revelation and a reflection of the AIDS epidemic going on at the time. Christian’s at the time were deeming AIDS a s gods punishment for homosexuality or any other ‘sins.’ Haring interpreted AIDS as a weapon for white men who oppress, colonize, control and dominate and called it “their evil disease”. The demon sperm that haring illustrates, references American culture. These apocalyptic imagery has been a source of powerful imagery to unpack the impact of the AIDS epidemic in the gay and queer community. This demon sperm that Haring plays with throughout the series appears with the number 666 which in the book of revelations is the ‘number of the beast’ these demonic images denotes AIDs and reference the queer take on Christianity. The Beast is the physical symbol of AIDS and he is depicted with a broken horn, coming out of the hole of the palm of the hand of the girl, which is a sign of Jesus’s hand where he was nailed to the cross. Haring adds medusa hair and bird legs to the girl to change the innocence and purity of the child into an impure and hybrid style object referencing death as a reflection of the AIDS epidemic. The referencing to Revelations is an important part of the series as this reflection was their interpretation of the AIDS epidemic through the story of Christianity which was something that was denoting the queer culture of the time.

Lynn. R. huber, 2019, Pulling down the sky, Envisioning the Apocalypse with Keith Haring and William S. Burroughs, Cross Currents Volume 68, Issue 2, https://doi-org.ezproxy.aut.ac.nz/10.1111/cros.12312

1 note · View note

semi-sketchy · 7 years

Note

Do you think Webkinz has a good chance of becoming popular again? Do you think that Webkinz will be sold in more stores in the future?

Let me give the simple answer first…. Webkinz will most likely never be in stores again. They used to have contracts, but the time expired and they never got renewed. With how terrible Webkinz are doing now, stores just don’t want to make the shelf space for them.

Will Webkinz ever be popular again? I doubt it. Honestly, their marketing has really fallen and they rely too much on digital now. The reason Webkinz were so interesting back in the day was all the physical items. Ganz used to be really good on giving you great physical items, like all the Webkinz clothing, the figures were so nicely made, the Trading cards were fun, but they just stopped.They used to come out with five plush pets a month, now we get two and let’s be completely real: the newer Webkinz aren’t as good. They have some good ideas, but they don’t feel as stylized and the models often just look weird. The Siberian Husky is a solid example of that.

Which is another thing: they keep remaking Webkinz and most of the original ones are under $8 on eBay. Ganz, we already have a calico cat, don’t make a patchwork cat it’s the same thing.

No, bad Ganz, the Oatmeal Kangaroo is just a slightly lighter version of the original.

It goes on. But the biggest thing now is Deluxe Membership. This didn’t bother me until Ganz adapted to the “free-to-play” genre, which is just loaded with micro transactions to suck your money. A lot of people, including myself, hate this market. I added it up before. eStore points are $1 USD for 1,000 without getting a giant bundle to get 10% more points or whatever. The eStore themes generally cost about 50,000 eStore points to build. That’s $50 for a virtual room theme! That’s insane! I could buy about 3 cheap Signatures of Amazon for that amount of money!

Before Deluxe took over, it was something really cool. You got to set your dock colors, access to a special color zone (which all are dead now anyways), an extra class at the Academy, awesome monthly items, and more items from Arte. It was so cool and something I actually begged my mom to get me when I was eleven. Now I despise it. I was okay with them making games for Deluxe Members, but when they took away features anyone could access and locked them behind a subscription fee, that’s when I got annoyed. My favorite game, Zingoz Pop, is locked behind Deluxe. Vacation Island is a distant memory now that I miss dearly. I used to be so careful when I would spend my ticket to make sure I had as much time as possible to get my money out of it, now I will never be able to get all the trophies like I wanted. They took themes I spent so long saving up KinzCash for and locked me out of them. I felt cheated. I had given Ganz so much money with all their products I bought, ranging from clothing, Kinz Klips, figures, and tons of plushies, and they gave me the gate. I know I shouldn’t feel entitled, after all, this is how they make money, but it still feels wrong.

This falls on the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” like people bought stuff and they wanted it. A Webkinz used to be $15 and I can’t speak for all, but people got more than one a year to renew their account because the online wasn’t the highlight of Webkinz and that’s what Ganz keeps forgetting. They moved to the free-to-play market and hell they took the fucking Candy Crush motto with their “Goober’s Anatomic Adventure” shit. Run out of lives? Pay for more! Just two moves away from winning? Buy more moves! Need a few extra points for that higher rank? Buy a power up! And it just grinds my gears. They most likely did this because digital distribution is cheaper. No need to give stores a cut, don’t have to pay a someone to make physical items or for the materials, once it gets past the concept artists and developers, that’s it. Easier and gives them a higher profit. However, Ganz is a toy company. They’ve been making stuffed animals long before Webkinz, so why start whistling another tune now? People don’t want to pay a ton of money for a collection of laggy minigames. The parents can buy the kids Mario Party or WarioWare for that old Wii they probably still have sitting around and it’d be cheaper and a better experience.

Let me just say this…. Ganz, parents aren’t going to pay money for digital media. Parents want their kids away from the screen. Hell, my mother wouldn’t even give us the $20 for a Nintendo Gamecube in 2012, my brother and I had to save for weeks to get that bulky purple box. Parents also don’t want to invest in something for their kid that they can’t see. A Webkinz was an easier sell. You saw it at a store, it was a cute little stuffed animal that they would drag everywhere for months and on their downtime, they could play on Webkinz World. Now it’s all “play online. Play all day. Play every day.” and geez if I had kids I wouldn’t want them spending real money online for some fancy texture and I sure wouldn’t want them staring a screen all day. Go outside. Climb a tree. Better yet, climb it with your plush. I did that.

Let’s not forget the “Helping Paws Club” where they say “tell your friends about us! ….Please we need more wallets to empty” and you can’t trust your fans to promote your product. They also looked past the fact that most of their fans are grown up now. What kind of adult is going to go to their adult friends and ask them to join this site for kids as little as five? Please explain.

Let’s also not forget that the online runs terribly due to all the video ads. Ganz made a plea not long ago asking people to add them to their whitelist, and the comments are the biggest bonfire roast I think I have ever seen and I love it. I wanna say I run a gaming PC, Intel i7 and 16GB of DDR3 RAM. I have some power. Without AdBlock, I get some lag and frame skipping on the arcade games. Imagine all the other people who are still using duel cores and don’t have that power. I was one of them once and it was so painful. The site is already super slow and the video ads refreshing every 15 seconds will get you no matter what.

No. I don’t believe Webkinz will make a comeback. Webkinz lost their contracts with stores, aren’t running any ads and just trusting their fans will keep them afloat. I actually believe it won’t be too much longer until the site is shut down because frankly, the old fans grew up and the new ones won’t put up with this.

-Sassy

#oh man I spent like 2 hours typing this #it's past 2:30am golly #i had a lot to say though #turtle feel free to add to the fire #ask #sassy answers #webkinz

15 notes · View notes

create-ninety · 5 years

Text

Wednesday 20th February, ’19. 10am.

There’s nothing quite like going to a gig at a small venue in a trendy part of town to make you feel like a geriatric.

While I was getting ready for the event, I was wondering if I was going too casual – I was wearing a plain t-shirt with black jeans and an oversized floral blazer. Turns out I should have gone in what I normally wear as pyjamas! There were kids (I say kids, because while there were definitely a few ‘older’ people in the crowd, the majority looked like they were born this side of the century) wearing what I can only describe as their dorky mum’s clothes from the seventies. It was bizarre. Lucie and I stood to the side in a somewhat demure fashion by comparison, me sipping on non-alcoholic beer, and Lucie overheating from a temperature brought on by a nasty cold.

We both agreed that, if we were born when they were, it’s this kind of crowd we probably would have found ourselves in. Perhaps it’s because they were wearing exactly what we were wearing, once upon a time. I can imagine this isn’t a unique experience for people who find themselves looking over their shoulder at the next generation and wonder what the hell is going on.

The show itself was great – the band were amazing. I’ve seen them three times now and each time they’ve got better. The audience loved the performance and it was actually quite inspiring to see people passionate about their art in action. And it was obviously the kind of crowd that didn’t bat an eyelid that I was draped over completely over Lucie, which is always a plus.

When we got home, we lay awake talking about it the performers. I wondered what the process is that gets a person to the point where they feel confident enough to get on stage and perform in front of others. Essentially saying, “I am confident enough that my work is good enough to not only subject you to, but I am compelling enough to perform it in front of others.”

That’s a pretty brave thing, for anyone to do. To be inviting open criticism and to stand up and project vulnerability. I do, genuinely, marvel at musicians and stage actors who have to suspend what can only be described as ‘normal reality’ to sing, move about, and create a large amount of sound – something that in any other situation would be wildly inappropriate and strange. And yet there we all were, gathered around a stage, making noise for individuals who were inhabiting that space of vulnerability. I’ve decided that, for me, it’s actually less about hearing the music of the artists when I see the live show, and more about watching and observing the emotions that they’re going through, as they do it. And you can see it on their faces. The nerves, the little shakes, the awkward chatter between songs when the polished performance of practiced routine is paused.

Lucie pointed out to me that writing a novel isn’t so different to that.

In some ways, perhaps not, but by and large I think there are some key differences.

I think that if you’re a creative person by nature, then creativity has the opportunity to express itself in several key ways: as an actor, a musician, a visual artist, or a writer. Each of those could be called spheres with smaller subsets breaking off (stage actors vs film actors, painters vs photographers, poets vs fiction writers, and so on). I suppose it just depends what vehicle you ultimately are drawn to and prefer as your mode of expression. Because ultimately, the point of anything creative is fundamentally the same: it’s just that, expression. You are expressing something emotive, experiential, a message, something others might relate to. And each of those spheres give you the option to do it, but with completely different methods of execution.

When I was growing up I played with all of the different spheres and I can see them all, now, as different sizes and at varying distances from me. At certain points in my life I’ve actually valued them and explored them in different orders. Some have increased in resolution and texture while others have stayed smaller and smoother.

The smallest of my creative spheres, the one most under-developed and child-like, is visual art. I’m not bad at basic sketching or copying something. And I can stare at a piece of art and try and pull out its meaning. But when I was young, the pleasure I’d get from mixing paint or translating an emotion onto a canvas or something else just wasn’t very high for me. So I didn’t spend time doing it. There were moments where I’d develop a surge in interest (this still happens) – I’d go and buy watercolours and start painting for fun, or I’d be obsessed with sketching raccoons or something. But it’s always fleeting, and ultimately, not really something that I have been able to use as the best means of my expression.

I found a lot of joy in stage acting and performing when I was young, right up to my teenage years. I would include public speaking in this. I found it exciting. I liked playing characters with interesting stories, and I liked to turn different emotions on and off to create scenes with others. I liked finding mirrors of myself in characters, and ‘becoming them’, for a short time, was a small reprieve from myself. But sometimes it was hard to occupy the emotions of a character when my own were trying to take centre stage, so to speak. In my last year of high school when I was arguably involved in the most theatre I’d ever done – I was the lead role in my drama class’ final show, I was in a speech finals competition, I was sitting a speech and drama exam that had multiple theatrical components, I was in our school production, and in an improv team – I was stressed as hell. I realised, ultimately, I didn’t like standing up in front of others to be scrutinised as a version of myself that wasn’t me. I didn’t like that there was a ‘right way’ to act, and a ‘wrong way’. Because, well, there’s a director telling you what to do and how to do it. And so when I left school, I stopped any form of acting. I thought about joining a theatre company but I didn’t. I almost studied Theatre at uni, but I didn’t. It just wasn’t the creative vehicle for expression for me and I dropped it all together. I think, as a result, that acting is now my least valued and explored sphere.

Music, on the other hand, was something I discovered in my late teens. I’d tried piano earlier but didn’t like it, because I was taught classical, which to me was basically mathematics with your fingers. I wasn’t good at translating the written music to something that requires you to be so profoundly dextrous. Years later I would discover tab, and learn the general principles of music accidentally. I realised that chords are the foundation of all music, and that chords translate across all string and wind instruments, including the piano. Once I understood that, and once I was able to master basic dexterity and rhythm, music became the most wonderful tool of expression. I was able to write lyrics, write melodies, and then later on, piece them all together to make a song on my computer. I must have made hundreds. I did struggle to ‘finish’ one, though, and my desire to perform them never became overwhelming enough to take it to the next level. For me, it really was just means to express something. I liked the personal nature of it. I liked the different emotions that could be conveyed through the different sounds and instruments. Sharing the songs with anyone was always a profoundly terrifying experience: the music was an extension of myself, as if I had translated my own identity and ‘suffering’ into sound – and for others to hear it, and to judge it, would be for them to judge me. And so the music sphere for me has grown large, but it has stayed at the same size for some years now. I pick up the guitar when I’m feeling emotional. Or when I want to put music to a poem. And when I see musicians perform, I see love for the vehicle. I often dream about writing an album to compliment a film. I suppose that now, there is actually the option to actually produce music without having to perform at all – you can do it all digitally. But I don’t think that I love it enough to put it out there. There is so much music available. I don’t think that what I create would be contributing to anything other than my own creative expression. And so, it’s for that reason, while it’s fun to dream, I think – unless I suddenly have unlimited free time and money – that it’s something I’ll never take further than just tinkering around when I fancy.

Writing, for me, is the perfect mode of expression. It’s a completely internal process. With music there is this external component, which I think is ultimately what turns me off about it, but with writing, it can be done completely behind a veil. When it is released into the world, it’s consumed by a reader internally. You are not the work. The work is as separate from you as possible (perhaps in many ways like visual art). This is what appeals to me so deeply. That I get to have a personal, raw, emotive and transformative experience writing something and exploring it in a depth that has so many layers of meaning. And when someone reads it, the work becomes a personal experience for them. You are just a a vehicle for the expression. My physical form, my personal likes and dislikes and expressions, are not relevant to the ideas being put out into the world. And I love this. Writing also carries with it the highest possibility for profound connection: books take a long time to be read, and upon each separate reading, new meaning can be found and uncovered. The same can be said for all the spheres, absolutely – I’ve certainly spent hours listening to the same song and attached various meanings to it, and felt connections to musicians I’ve never met – but there is something unique about a narrative with a character who goes on a journey. I would argue that in a book you can still experience all five senses, but in an abstract way.

I don’t like the thought of who I am as a person getting in the way of the message. I want to place the art and the ideas at the centre of the experience. When you involve yourself – in a way that musicians and actors have to do – then you become consumable. And that is a scary concept for me. One could argue that the person performing is actually, themselves, part of the art - I would imagine this to be true - but I think this is what differentiates the spheres.

And, more than anything, writing is as automatic and as essential to me as breathing. Or eating. It’s just something that’s part of my day and necessary for normal functioning. For people who master the other spheres, you can see that they have this feeling about their own medium. I saw it on the faces of the performers last night. They live and breathe music. Their instruments are extensions of their identities that they have to exorcise. When I scroll through the Instagram profiles of visual artists, their dedication to the craft is demonstrated through the picture after picture after picture of their creations.

And, finally, I am now – perhaps like the musicians – confident enough to think that my work is good enough. I also think it’s now good enough for others. So yes, maybe I am more like the musicians than I think.

#personal #createninety #journal #feb2019 #february2019 #thoughts #contemplation #writer #author

0 notes

anniversary-magazine · 4 years

Text

Q+A with Photographer Bastiaan Woudt — Where Creativity Arises

Bastiaan Woudt is a self-taught photographer from the Netherlands who started his own practice five years ago. With no experience or any formal training, he has developed a strong personal signature that manifests itself throughout a broad range of subjects. His style can refer to significant periods, such as Surrealism and the documentary photography of the 60s and 70s, while maintaining a contemporary edge that makes his work truly unique. We recently had the opportunity to exchange with Bastiaan Woudt on the origin of his artistic expression, his approach to new concepts and ideas, as well as how intuition plays an essential role in his photography.

Elda Oreto (EO), Bastiaan Woudt (BW)

EO: You started your career as a photographer in 2009, buying a camera to take pictures of your firstborn son. Then, in 2011, you rented a studio from a photographer and began your journey as a self-taught artist. It seems to me that intuition played a crucial role in your life. I believe that personal experiences and artistic research are united and that one contributes to the other. How do you combine intuition and preparation in your photographic practice?

BW: Intuition is the best part of my process. I am relying on my ability to create while enjoying the quest. Preparation is only a small part and mainly has to do with the practical matters. Making sure everything is ready for a shoot and that the atmosphere is perfect. Preparing for what is to be created is something I seldom do. I think that everything should arise during the shoot. Only then, you create work that surprises you.

EO: The Mukono Project bears the name of a city in Uganda, where the Marie-Stella-Maris Foundation has contributed to establishing a clean drinkable water system. For this project, you have made portraits of people whose life revolves around this well. How can a photograph tell a story about a subject without exploiting it?

BW: During a project in countries like Uganda, I never focus on the bad, painful, or piteous sides of a community. I'm not a documentary photographer who wants to show what kind of miserable situations people live in. I'm not looking for a sad child who tells a story of hunger, thirst, or poverty. In a project like this, I try to seek out the beauty of mankind. To find the small, tangible moments and to photograph people with self-confidence and pride. Even in countries like Uganda, and areas like Mukono, where people have to walk miles for ( contaminated) drinking water, there is something beautiful to find. An innocent child who, despite everything, dresses beautifully with a dress and pearl necklace. The beauty of a hand that washes itself. A group of children who are playing in the lake. The photographs are almost like a talisman, a bringer of happiness and hope.

EO: Does analog photography influence your creative process differently than digital photography?

BW: Although my work always has an analog feel, I still shoot digitally. I have fallen in love with the aesthetics of old photography, but the working method, cost, speed, and ease of digital photography make it possible for me to create so much work. I could never trade digital photography for analog, but I do shoot with analog cameras—more for fun. I would do a series of polaroids at the end of a shoot or use my old Hasselblad at home on a Sunday morning. The process remains magical, but I'm glad I don't have to do that every day.

EO: I believe that a decisive meeting for you was the one you had with Roy Kahmann of the Kahmann Gallery in Amsterdam. Can you tell me how this relationship helped you grow artistically?

BW: I met Roy a couple of years ago while I was assisting another photographer, from whom I eventually bought my studio. We got to talk, I was able to show some work, and one thing led to another. At that moment he told me that he saw something in me, but that it hadn't revealed enough yet. He proposed to guide me, coach me. This meant that I just had to do what I was doing, but that I could come to him with the result, discuss what I had done. We looked at the images together, he made selections and explained why he had chosen them. A lot out of intuition, but often with good reason. Slowly but surely, a signature began to emerge, that "unique signature" that every beginning photographer is looking for. Eventually, after two years, I was asked to join the Kahmann Gallery.

EO: The work of photographers Irving Penn, Richard Avedon, Man Ray, and Bill Brandt has influenced your artistic development in various ways, leading you to a combination of still life, portrait, and landscape photography. Do you believe that a clear separation should be made between genres in photography? Or, on the contrary, are the borders made to be crossed?

BW: No. The borders are made to be crossed for sure. I don't like being boxed. I shoot a lot of people, so am I a portrait photographer? What if I make a landscape series? Am I a landscape photographer? I think I am a photographer, an artist. Someone who, regardless of the subject, makes my best, unique visual representation of what I see at that moment. A face, a tree, a body, or a bucket. It has to affect me. And to categorize it, to cast it in a genre, I think it's a shame. Isn't it true that a landscape can also be a portrait? And a naked body can be a landscape?

EO: In 2016, you were awarded the Van Vlissingen Art Foundation award, which led you to develop the Karawan project. Between the portraits and landscapes you have captured, I feel like there is always something ancient and visionary. Could you tell us more about the story behind this project and how it came to life?

BW: Karawan was shot as a result of winning the Van Vlissingen Art Foundation Grant 2017. I was able to travel Morocco for two weeks, together with filmmaker Jelmar van Belle, to make new work. My choice of Morocco was based on the diversity of the land, culture, and people who live there. For two weeks, I tried to capture everything that came my way. As a child, I was fascinated with the thousand and one night stories and tried to find that atmosphere. What a beautiful country, Morocco is. I hope to be able to work there more in the future.

EO: In a previous interview, I read that what you miss the most in digital photography is imperfect. This notion played a crucial role in Surrealists and photographers such as Avedon and Penn. This made me think about the French philosopher Jean Luc Nancy, who, in his book Corpus, describes the body as "beyond language." In some of the portraits you created, it seems like you try to repeat this dynamic through the digital medium. How did you achieve this result?

BW: Imperfection makes your mind think, wander, and explore. A perfect image can be boring. Personally, I find it exciting when a picture is out of focus. When a movement is really a movement, instead of a perfectly frozen moment. Don't get me wrong, the latter can also be beautiful, and that's what I sometimes use in my image. But deep inside, imperfection touches me most. You leave something to the imagination, the viewer has to look again, and think about why that choice was made. Technically it's the same as 50, 80, 100 years ago. Now we just have the power of photoshop. That doesn't mean I'm adding imperfection later. I shoot it on camera, but I can amplify it on the computer.

EO: On different occasions, you said that in a certain sense, it makes no difference for you whether the subject of the photograph is a naked woman or a still life or a landscape; a landscape can be as disturbing as a nude in abstraction. Then, why does a more significant part of your research or work focuses on nudity?

BW: I think it's a combination of my love for the naked human body and the phase in my career where I work a lot in the studio and want to work with people. The human body, and especially the female body, can be so beautiful and pure. In an era where sex is often what comes to mind when seeing a naked body, many people forget that our body in itself is art: the lines, the texture, the vulnerability. Maybe I have more focus on that now, and that I will eventually go a different way for a while. But I will photograph nudes for the rest of my life.

EO: You seem to give much importance to meeting a specific subject in person, before initiating a new project. Could you please tell us more about this process and about the notion of spontaneity within your work?

BW: Spontaneity is the cornerstone of my work. I like to go into a shoot without a plan. Seeing what happens, letting the interaction between photographer and subject run free. I think that with spontaneity, the best ideas arise. An encounter which aims to take pictures should not be stuck to preconceived plans. It all has to emerge within the moment.

EO: A curved shape, the line of a hat, the gaze of a profile lost in thoughts, the mystical curve of a hill; I feel like many elements of your work tend to return to the essential. Your images often move towards me as a dreamlike world and then transform into another nature, another shape. In addition to photography, who or what influences your artistic approach?

BW: I get my inspiration from all kinds of art forms: sculptures, painters, the old masters of painting, charcoal drawings, music, films, magazines. It can't be said that one person or direction inspires me the most. Sometimes it's the little things in life: a lady with a big hat waiting in the street, a reflection in the mirror at the hairdresser. These are moments that I record, enjoy, and then unconsciously take with me during the creation of new images. I never see anything and think I have to make that too. They are characteristics, pieces of different moments.

EO: The two last questions are a ritual. Any future or dream projects?

BW: I'm always busy. At the end of 2019, I made a long trip through Nepal, during which I went off the grid for a month with a team of Porters, guides, and a cook. During this trip, we walked up to almost 6000 meters. A beautiful project is the result of that trip; an exhibition will open later this year, and a book will be published. As soon as all that is done, I will be ready to think about the next project. In the current situation, where flying and traveling is not easy, it might be a little closer to home. Unless a cure is found for that time. Let's hope so.

EO: Any book recommendations?

BW: My love for photography originated in books, so I am a real photobook collector. A title that always stays with me and which I always enjoy reading is Révélations by Javier Viver. Also, I'm a big fan of interior architecture and design. I really enjoy Vincent van Duysen - Works 2009-2018. But of course, I could not recommend my latest book, "Hidden" enough. Available directly through my webshop! ;)

All images © Bastiaan Woudt

#Photographer #Bastiaan Woudt #Germany #Berlin #Featured

0 notes

dustsparrow · 6 years

Note

Oh! Your blog is alive! Welcome back! Answer all the odd number questions?

Well hey! I didn’t realize how long it had been since I posted here haha. I’m alive and doing well. Most of my energy toward this site goes to reblogging stuff to my side blog @stufftoshowcrow (I guess this is sort of a plug but by no means do you all have to check it out)

And I’ll get to the questions later today! I’m out with a friend for the day but I didn’t wanna leave you hanging. Thanks for asking!

Time for those answers! (under the read more)

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Dancing’s Not a Crime by Panic! at the Disco, Irony of Dying on Your Birthday by Senses Fail, Instant Crush by Daft Punk, Somewhere in the Between by Streetlight Manifesto, Your Love by The Outfield, and Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON (these are just recent ones on my mind)

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. The closest book was my sketchbook and it’s got a drawing of Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles on it that I think I referenced from somewhere. I may post a picture later if there’s any interest.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? “Ok I should be home in about an hour” from my dad

7: What’s your strangest talent? I’m pretty good at chugging alcohol but stuff like hard sodas or rum and coke. And that usually only happens when I’m already a little drunk and want to maintain it.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? Technically (said by my bf). He said it was never finished so I never heard it

11: Do you have any strange phobias? I’m slightly afraid of escalators and elevators. Elevators is because I hate when they rock and I’m afraid they’ll fall and escalators is because when I was a kid, there was an escalator at the local book store that seemed pretty steep and I felt like I’d fall off when I was young and it sort of continued on into adulthood. It’s not as bad now but it’ll pop up sometimes.

13: What’s your religion? I was raised Catholic, went to a Methodist church from middle school to high school, and now I’d consider myself Agnostic. I was never officially Methodist so yeah, I’m not really religious.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? It’s a bit of both. Being an artist, I like to dabble in a lot of different art forms and one of those being photography. I love photography and I’ve even gotten into making my own videos. So I know my way around a camera and I’m used to being behind the camera but I like when I get the chance to be in front of the camera. It may be a little vain but I really like photos of myself and seeing myself at different angles.

17: What was the last lie you told? Oh shit, I can’t really remember. I know the funniest lie I’ve told recently is I convinced a coworker of mine that one of our other coworkers is my brother because we look sort of alike.

19: What does your URL mean? I went with Novakid-Outlaw because I really enjoy the game Starbound and the Novakids are my favorite race. They’re sort of like cowboys so that’s where the outlaw part is from. It used to be “Novakid-Bandit” but I figured Outlaw sounded better.

21: Who is your celebrity crush? Brendon Urie

23: How do you vent your anger? A lot of it is spent yelling at terrible drivers in my car. Some of it is directed at my coworkers who don’t do their job and I’m already done with the day. I try to use some of it on artwork, I know one time I smashed a TV for a friend doing a photography project. That was a lot of fun.

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chat because I like seeing the other person’s face. But talking on the phone is also nice if I want to talk to that person (so like talking to my BF verses my dad. My dad is weird to talk to sometimes).

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate the sound of nails scratching one of those holographic cards that has that terrible texture. I love the sounds of cats purring (and my boyfriend’s voice).

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts are iffy but for sure Aliens. Space is too big for us to be the only living organisms.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? I’m in my room so nothing. I’m too used to the smell.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? East Coast since I live nearby and the most I’ve done on the West Coast was go to Vegas and it was stupid hot.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? Doing what I love with the ones I love.

37: Do you believe in luck? I guess because I’m the luckiest girl to be dating the best guy in my life. He’d disagree but I do love him a whole lot and he’s made my life a lot better.

39: What time is it? I got this ask around noon and I’m getting around to answering it at 11:12 PM (as I’m typing this answer)

41: What was the last book you read? I guess Scott Pilgrim. I haven’t read a book in a while. It’s sorta sad

43: Do you have any nicknames? Many

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? In recent years, I burned my arm at work and it hurt like a bitch. I still have a scar. In middle school, I broke both of my wrists (not at the same time but only a month had passed when my first wrist healed and I broke the other).

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? Okami

49: Ever had a rumor spread about you? Not really cause I’m not that interesting that people talk about me.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? If it’s a big enough wrong. I’m still upset at my ex but that’s justified.

53: Do you save money or spend it? I spend it. I need to work on saving money.

55: Love or lust? Love

57: How many relationships have you had? 3

59: Where were you yesterday? Work and home

61: Are you wearing socks right now? Nope

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Jokes and slight teasing

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. Aight, that’s too much work, nope

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Playing Okami

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Yes

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Save the dog. I can find another job. I’d feel terrible leaving the dog behind.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. (I have both but) Love

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 7815

77: How can I win your heart? No chance because someone already has my heart

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Giving my current boyfriend a third date those 2 years ago.

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? She died doing what she loved most. (*boyfriend’s/husband’s name here*)

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Love. How cliche

85: What’s the last song you listened to? Your Love by The Outfield

87: What is your current desktop picture? Bulbasaurs

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? If my mom ever asked if I’ve lied to her recently because she made me promise her once that I’d never lie to her again.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Shape-shifting

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? My first instinct is to say my last relationship but I know it sort of helped to shape me. So I guess I would say I’d avoid dating the last guy but I wouldn’t avoid him entirely.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Germany

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yes. When I was a kid, my mom took me to pick up my brother and his friend and she brought mini cupcakes along. I ate a bunch of the chocolate ones and I threw up on my brother’s friend when they got in the car.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Let’s be real, I have no clue.

Finishing this up at 11:39 PM and I’m super grateful to anyone who’s read all of these! I hope these are entertaining to read and I hope everyone has a wonderful day/night!

#j talks #ask j #anon

0 notes

nazih-fares · 6 years

Text

With Fear Effect Sedna, French developpement team Sushee had a big bet by moving away from the franchise’s original gameplay. It’s no easy thing to work with a cult franchise, especially when it has been dormant for now 17 years after the clash between the original developers Kronos Digital Entertainment, and their publishers Eidos Interactive. After getting the blessing the current IP owners – Square Enix – Sushee amassed funds via Kickstarter and Square Enix Collective crowdfunding platforms, and gave us a Fear Effect with a different gameplay offering: An isometric style action adventure game.

This has allowed the game to give us direct control of more than one character at a time, in a universe and mood true to the Fear Effect franchise, with a fun and modern redesign of everyone’s favorite Hana Tsu Vachel and Jacob DeCourt, but also the rest of the gang. With a script that is what made the series so great, Fear Effect Sedna plays on the same vibe of making our protagonist the antiheroes that we always loved. You see, Hana, Rain and the rest of the charismatic protagonists in the game were never good nor bad guys, but more like in the middle, changing their shades of grey depending on the situation and mission. Plus in our modern days, I’m very happy to see that the developers didn’t fall for the trap of oversexualizing the relationshitp between Hana and Rain to appeal to a male audience, which cause quite the controversy back when Fear Effect 2: Retro Helix was launched. And so the story in Fear Effect Sedna will be told in various settings, which mixes futuristic elements with Inuit mythology, with gorgeous cutscenes that kind of respects the aesthetic line of the franchise, but with more elaborate and stylized 3D models.

The inspiration of Fear Effect Sedna and its isometric style game reminds me of Shadowrun Returns and XCOM. You move the characters in real time through a set of stages, with each of your partners can follow you or stay put until you order them around. Each of the characters have different skills available, and with a touch of a simple button, you can switch to another hero at any time, which in ways is fun during battle. You see, this where the mix comes in, where you can choose to either shoot and defend yourself with the action controls like any isometric shooter, or stop the action and use the tactical mode where you can plan the next set of moves like an XCOM. Plan this with the fact that each character has special abilities like Hana’s enhanced bullets and Glas’ grenades, then you can take on any mission. However, the focus is not only on combat in the game, as stealth plays a big role, and it’s often a good idea to get rid of enemies with takedowns than to go gun blazing. If you move on slowly, the fields of view of your enemies and other elements like surveillance cameras are displayed, but it’s not perfect. The visibility in the levels are mostly dark, especially in narrow corridors of walls and objects.

Then we have the puzzles and riddles, which come as pleasant way to break the action between sets. They demand observation and thought, but sometimes have instant-death mechanism which punishes us with instant game over. Because of the minimal explanation of each puzzle, this die-and-retry approach is really annoying, and I wish they could somehow fix that even if most of the time hiddens clues are in each level. Something that was featured in the old Fear Effect was replayability, as each level offered different ways to finish the mission, and Fear Effect Sedna is no different. But the amount of collectibles (which unlock concept art) and the rather simplistic multiple endings of each level, on top of the rather short lifespan and a really dumb AI doesn’t really compare to the amount of content in the main franchise.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Now on the point of the technical level of the game, I do have some issues. Reviewing the game on the Nintendo Switch has been a delight in handheld mode, but once docked, things are rather crude and I almost went blind trying to squint to see the elements on the TV screen. Sure Fear Effect Sedna has a beautiful settings and textures, with great work on the lighting effects, but it’s the character animations that are rough, even in the cutscenes with strange expressions and movements. Don’t get me wrong, the new chapter will likely satisfy the fans of the series which are used to the rough polygons shapes that used to form our heroes, but it will disappoint the new audience expecting a 2018 title.

Finally i’ll end this review on a good note, by pointing out that the audio part of the game is excellent overall. The voiceovers are done by a brand new batch of voice actors, and even if I’ll miss the original Hanna (played by award winning actress Wendee Lee), the new cast feels genuine. The settings, environmental sound effects and other audio samples are well tuned to the franchise, but it is especially the ambient music of each level that immerses you fully in the universe of Fear Effect, full of suspense and tension.

Fear Effect Sedna was reviewed using a Nintendo Switch digital download code of the game provided by Sushee. The game is also available on PlayStation 4, Xbox One and PC in digital releases. We don’t discuss review scores with publishers or developers prior to the review being published

With Fear Effect Sedna, Sushee has managed to create a different yet faithful new episode in a long forgotten cult franchise. With Fear Effect Sedna, French developpement team Sushee had a big bet by moving away from the franchise's original gameplay.

#Fear Effect #Featured #Forever Entertainment #Indie #Isometric #Reboot #RPG #Square Enix Collective #Sushee #Tactical Shooter

0 notes

shysheeptrash-blog · 7 years

Text

N: I tried making these digital prints. Like I printed them on the wrong side of photo paper. Then I just stuck them in a frame. I mean you can still sort of see the image but something/ something/ happened.

B: I feel like I remember seeing these, maybe not these exact ones, But now the frames killed them like I think there was one of one of Sarah.

N: Yeah Yeah

B: but something happened

N: almost looks like snow or something.

B: or like celluloid burning or something.

N: and its progressive too. This is one of like Mia thompson. From back to the future. I just downloaded a whole series of photos of her as a like tenneager. Like she had done some modelling or something

B: hmm though is that an eye

N: No its a mouth dripping with milk see because the ink pooled in weird ways.

B: is that a body

N: Yeah

B: Is that your body

N: Yeah

B: Are you naked.

N: Yeah

B: And that's a palm tree haha

B: I kinda like it.. Its like a fridge science experiment.

N: There are actually a fair amount of writers in detroit actually.

B: well that stands to reason. Cost of living is reasonable. I feel like it'd be a good place to write a novel or a poetry book.

N: not art writers unfortunately tho

B art writing kind of piggybacks off of the commercial art world though, and less the like, the like ritual and practice of art.

N: there's not really a commercial art world, so theres not really art writers here.

B: Is that good?

N: I think it's bad.

B: Really?

N: I think its bad.

B: Well, money is good. You need enough money to eat. Haha. Is important.

N: But also, I think feeling like people are looking at what youre doing. Feeling seen. And what's the word? Feeling acknowledged. There isn't any, well, okay so recently, well actually, maybe we should go to this today. One of my friends, put together, at the cave a big industrial warehouse, a show with a bunch of artists from Chicago and Detroit. And a few days ago my friend send me the review, this person wrote this and its basically like well I don't get this. This makes me feel stupid. I don't really get it. I didn't understand. And it's like, why would you write that. Why would you put that into the world.

B: like did you talk to anyone.. like at a certain point, maybe try a little harder.

N: she went to the show with the curator.

B: Okay but like the digitigi-- uh digiti-- or didigi I can't get the word. I'm skipping over it, is the digital version like a scan or a text?

B Do we have a plan today

N No. Chilling is the plan.

B Food is probably part of the plan.

N Yeah.

B do you need to work today

N today or tomorrow

B okay.

B: What are you working on right now?

N: Two art fair things to work on. So, the thing that I, here I can show you. Um, so. That's gonna to new york. This is what I need to work on this weekend. That's also gonna go to New York, when we head back. There's a fair in Cologne in april. That and that are gonna go to that. I might make a bigger version of this. This thing took a long time. But ironically a bigger version doesn't take much longer. It's just detail-y kind of fussy work. I've also kind of changed the way I'm doing things somewhat. So like, if you look at this one, even the relatively flat areas get lots of layers and adjustment. Where like you can see here, where theres not a lot of paint and you can see the weave of the canvas, versus here, where you can see its all filled in.

B: Who's the guy in this one.

N: You wanna take a guess?

B: noam chomsky

N: it's bernie madoff

B: ohhh what happened to those feet?

N: I don’t know. I did those what do you call them, bigger frilly socks, but I didn't really like them at that scale. The background there will just be white.

B: Hmm?

N: That's another. That's a kind of—I had this period where I just started everything, just to see what I liked. I started working on these triple penetration paintings.

B: Oh my god! Are those from real images.

N: Its yeah, it's taken from a porn.

B: It's kind of beautiful but at a certain point, it's like what are you saying when you bring that into the gallery.

N: Yeah, it's definitely like what are your saying white boy, and I'm trying to be careful.

B: Yeah I feel like getting at that uncanny or intimate thing with the body and like you know like cropping it or cutting it off, its like kind of a violent gesture.

N: Yeah I've been, I don't. Well heres an interesting question. I had a show in London and it sold out and they were like if you can keep doing that we can keep giving you money. So like now I'm trying to repeat some of that. So the next step was like, well this was interesting to do, but like will it continue to be interesting.

B: and the ones for that show were they all bodies?

N: Here I'll show you. So here's this thing. There’s this and that and that and that.

B: I like these dogs.

N: those are margaret cho’s dogs

B: oh! Awwwww

N: haha yeah

B: I think these are kind of around fashion and textures. Less bodies. Or I mean, it not triple penetration.

N: Yeah. Oh heres peeing baby. I really like peeing baby but the gallery was like

B: mmm maybe next time

N I love peeing baby.

B let me see peeing baby again. Yeah I don't know man. Like its like funny and whimsical but I can't see someone buying that.

N: I feels so religious to me. Like Catholic. Like the hand gesture and the posture, and like I don't know.

B: But yeah I see why its sticky because while that's beautiful, representing and then selling a body part could definitely be framed as a violent act, while erasing black bodies from your work which is making art about fashion and beauty and bodies and rawness within those spaces is like also fucked.

N: I don't know

B: the lips are beautiful, I feel like I saw a bunch mouths in a museum once as a kid, and I was like wow look at the mouths, and I'm forgetting who

N: I dont know

B: were like wet and like grotesquely over-intricate and like pearls in them

N: marilynn minter

B: yeah

N: but also like, feminist activist and different background makes that gesture like totally legit.

B: yeah yeah.. Yeah. Okay have you done any of these doll parts ones yet, because they're like freaking me out.

N: I started. And they're not dolls, or they are dolls but they are medical dolls. So like doctors teach how to do things on the different parts.

B: What are all the dicks for?

N: maybe like testicular disorders.

B: The catheterization one is activating a deep horror.

N: of course that's the only one I've started. And like moving towards this space where there are these surrogates for bodies, like it feels interesting for a little while maybe.

B: What were you doing before this? I remember there was some stuff that was moving towards bodies. There was that cliff face that was vaguely yonic. And the the rope that said like breathe or relax.

B: Have you done any paintings of Marcel and Henry?

N: Not yet

B: Haha, well when you have time, I feel like they deserve that from you.

N: Yes.

B: Why did you start doing bodies in the first place?

N: I don't know, like the image of the socks was part of the impetus.

N: I need to like just figure out a way to be confident about this stuff.

B: I mean. Or not. Being careful isn't bad. Yeah I dont think its bad to be careful. I feel like, I dont know but like images just work in such a different way. Like they work, and I recognize that now. But like I feel like a lot of the time, I can figure out what I’m doing as I’m doing it. Instead of having to know what I'm doing ahead of time, because you can't change around the syntax of an image on the fly to the same extent. But I mean, I am also have a little bit of a what am I doing here right now. Like ive been in that place as well, for, not too long.

N: uh huh

B: I think that like I became super enamored with this really clean, kind of distanced way of writing, that aims to elide subjectivity. And I got there because I had crushes on a few writers in a row that were in that vain. And then like the last thing that I did, I was fucking with it for six months. And in the end it was only like 20 pages. That shouldn't have taken six months. And the reason it wasn't working was it was supposed to be this highly structured formal gesture that was a commentary on influence and the canon, but what it actually ended up being about was trauma and trying to escape a memory. And I think having to make that admission and then go ahead and write that piece instead of the super frozen over one about influence, I think admitting that knocked me a little off course, in terms of thinking that writing sterile well structured things was the way to go.

N: when did the shift happen

B: like december. That's when I pushed that one out of the nest. Cause I had it in my pocket and was like I'll fix it I'll fix it I'll fix it, but then just published it the way it was.

N: I've been kind of curious whether people are making big shifts because of the election. I was apprehensive about this stuff before the election, but now I'm like I need to re-consider what I'm doing.

B: Yeah i've settled into team reconsider. I'm looking to get a little more uhh skin in the game.

N: Yeah I can totally see that

B: To like raise the stakes or something.

N: I've been wanting to bring the process closer, but I'm still using found images and not trusting myself to make my own images. Like I met up with some friends a few weeks ago and I had them all paint their faces with clown faces. Hand then took photos of them just hanging. And I started to think that I can get to the place where I can use my own images. Here, heres uh. And I also started reading like about the protest culture kids are starting to paint their faces to avoid facial recognition software.

N: Whoop. Yeah I think, or I mean when I first started doing this stuff, I listened to an interview, and it didnt prefigure the socks painting, but it was relatively soon afterward and I started to think about the subjects of the paintings in a different way. Because the socks painting has this kind of leisurely, fashion-y, and like just a little hint of sex and I sort of saw that as a sort of contentious space that we arguing over. Leisure time. And what leisure time means in different contents. The left sees leisure time as like citizen time and the right sees it as unproductive time or like laziness in a way. I like the idea idea of thinking about bodies at rest and I started reading a new book about the use of bodies, in a more basically political sense. Like what do we do with all of our useless bodies as automation advances.

B: I think one thing that could happen or that might be useful, is that the marriage of capitalism and like almost calvinism, whereby wealth is conflated with morality. And that particular america schema where virtue and work ethic are conflated. I would like for us to have those two decouple. But it feels like we are going in the opposite direction right now with debt and internships and the gig economy. But yeah images and stories that celebrate rest and decadence even if thats just laying outside on a nice day and doing nothing, time wasted in play or useless creation. Like a meaningful life separated from the market and from labor.

N: Yeah like non-instrumentalized creation, bodies in states of repose, and playing with culture and commodity as a kind of flouting.

B: I think the travel paintings looked more relaxed, but these look more decadent. And in terms of representing other possible ways of being, I like how you let that remain a little torn or bruised or uncanny. I think that that like better serves a narrative of another way of being, complicated, but also not caught up in that system of work or at least not caught up in the same way. I don't think a like overly romanticized version of the decadent or leisurely life would play. Given how cynical we've gotten. But a when we let bodies fold and wrinkle and bruise while they play or rest or shimmer or hint towards illicit sex, I think that's seductive. I guess I'm also talking about non-domestic spaces, or like ways of like occupying private spaces that aren't caught up in domestic labor.

B: and like I'm not signing up to be a part of a heterosexaul relationship and care for a big brood. So I think a lot, about becoming isolated as I slip into the like margins of society. I can't remember where I heard it but it rang pretty true for me personally, that queerness is oriented towards death.

N: Like we don't valorize seeking deep meaning except as it is consumption. And the other thing is—well with sex, or whatever do you think that there's any political value in the major city non-monogamous thing? Like are we actually getting away from the enforced solitude.

B: Mmm until society has achieved racial and economic justice, the way it's mostly set up now is rich white people LARPing as revolutionaries while not realizing that its like just their privileges that allow them to have access to these spaces. Yeah there's some potentials that inhere there. But the way its commonly concieved of or the versions we here about --if that's the main site of your political struggle, then you're fucking up. Now granted a fair number of people in collective living situations are involved—are activists or like allies in some respects. Its just that walling off a garden for the rich, white, and able bodied and then calling it eden. That's like actively shitty. Granted that's mostly not how it works, but it does sometimes work that way. But, the ones I've seen in new york, like you have to have money to have that house. There are some phenomenal exceptions. But like mostly, its walled gardens. It doesn't fix the problem, because everyones coming into your collective with an individualist mindset and the goal of accumulation of capital and a self rooted in the concept of work. I think there is a potential that inheres there, but it doesn't fix the real problem.

and of course that's good, but I think that that progress stands alongside the kind of stripping out and monetization or like collapsing into commodities of every other belief system. Like you said yourself that one nice thing about being in the commercial art market is that there is a sense of validation that comes from selling. Like everything gets abstracted back into like capital. As much as you like try and even as an artist where like you are trying to reach out and see other value systems and youre in somewhat of an okay like positions to try and like reach for other value systems, you still get something out of it as work, like work-work, and out of working on it and getting paid for your work.

N: How do you feel about ice cream.

B: I feel excellent about food. I kinda want noodles. I'm lactose intolerent though so maybe not ice cream. Unless theres like a sherbert situation.

N: I was gonna offer mochi.

B: Could they be rice milk?

N: nnuhh I dont know.

B: Where do cows live? Like where are they originally from?

N: I don't know.

B: I mean I know milk is everywhere. Because global logistics and shipping and stuff. But where are cows? Uh you have the same soap as my partner. And he has the same soap as my ex, and for like a week it was freaking me out, like what is that smell, but I didn't say anything because it seemed weird. But I'm used to it now so it's fine.

B: Also I did an interesting job of packing this morning. I have a short sleeved silk button down and a velvet leotard and a floral bomber. Nothing reasonable. I don't know what I was thinking.

N: We should go thrifting. Oh I wish you could meet the woman I've been seeing. She's so good at thrifting.

B: Ugh my voice. Well like I also do the upspeak thing too. I don't feel super femme, as I'm like wandering around the world in my person body. But when I hear my voice or see pictures of myself, I'm like oh—that seems like a woman.

N: Uh huh

B: With the upspeak and the likes

N: I've heard that women tend to put like in the front of sentences, as a way of cordoning off meaning. And the kind of like that we tend to associate with women's speech, the inserted, like creating a pause

B: like an um

N: Yes

B That was a literal like right? I've lost track of when a like is like and when a like is an um

N:This is what blew my mind and I want to look into this more is that the original definition of like, like in old english, the original definition was a synonym with the word body. Right, like if you go all the way back. The similarity definition, is a corporeal similarity.

B: Whenever I'm using like a lot in a sentence I'm just bringing everybody's bodies to bear, fully.

N: inserting your body into the sentence.

B: I wanted to read you something – uh! Beautiful cat! Look at this butt. Skinny butt. I don't like that their assholes are so visible. This is what I wanted to read you earlier about bodies.

B: I mean.. I have those reactions to like cats though, too sometimes. I'm just like oh you're so beautiful. Oh can I set my stuff in your room.

N: Oh so my bedroom is the one room I didn't clean.

B: Oh no worries.

N: Though I really should wash my sheets.

B: I still really don't care unless there's something truly alarming.

N: O-okay?

Scorpios are like intense and sociopathic and super slutty, and like I have my scorpio moments but that's not like the driving force um they're also super slutty, which again I hve my moments. I occasionally check my horoscope, and I follow astropoets on twitter.

N: I follow astropoets too. But I feel comfortable with that because it kind of feels like a joke, but IM not sure that its a joke.

B: I guess I end up touching it.

N: Touching

B: metaphorically, not grabbing grazing. Someething.

N: I guess I read libra stuff sometimes.

B: What are libras like?

N: Indecisive and deliberate, and kind of artsy.

B: Indecisive and deliberate: how both?

N: Those are the poles.

N: I have to go to court, I got in a car wreck, someone broke into our house.

B: What

N: Those are excuses.

B: I have to trick myself into reading my hard books, by sending myself on a trip and only packing my hard books. Otherwise I'll just read sci fi novels all year.

N: I've read like maybe 40 novels in my life. I only read the hard books, so I never read.

B: oh my god, that's like nothing.

N: I mean I read other stuff. Nonfiction, theory.

B: To a certain extent, novels sustained me through high school. I was so miserable and pretty lonely. And I just read all the time, because we didn't have TV or the internet really.

N: Wait.

B: Yeah, no because we were poor. Ish. And my mom was a luddite.

N: Yeah I grew up with the internet, like the first earliest version. Like 1994.

B: What even was the internet back then.

N: yeah it was super slow.

B: but there was no google and it wasn't social. How did you know where to go? Did you just hear rumors about cool websites to go to?

N: I don't know I don't remember really.

B: I remember the first time I went on homestar runner, was because I heard a rumor about it on the school bus, so I looked it up in the library later. Oh, did you have a myspace?

N: yeah well I was in a band, so. Actually a lot of my first internet experiences were through the band. Like emailing and myspace and stuff.

B: So I got the glass replaced, then I went to Texas for christmas and was holding my sisters cat and the phone, dropped the phone, and like the clattering phone freaked the cat out and it dug into my, look at that, the cat dug into my wrist and launched itself, and that's like three months old, and it's still visible.

N: I have one of those, see?

B: how old is it?

N: pretty old, super old.

B: yeah that's not going away. It was a cat?

N: No it was a box, at my old place. I was picking up a box and dropped it and it slid down.

B: eessh

N: Yeah. Do you have any other good ones?

B: I have a seven inch long one the wraps around, you know the sticky-outy bone on the outside of your ankle? Yeah. I have a scar. That's a surgery scar. It’s all nasty and ropy. I've got two little crucifixes on one knee from another surgery. I had a partial ACL tear and a cyst had formed around it and the cyst was interfering with my movement.

N: On both knees

B: Two holes, one knee. We're going to get through all my injuries by the time this weekend is over, huh? Oh I've got a scar on my butt, from when I fell and broke my ribs and back and stuff in july. I scraped my butt, and it ripped my dress. It had a big gash on the side, and I lost one shoe. So the sent me home in hospital issue shoes, these giant velcro converse looking things, with a gash in my dress. It was a good look.

N: Of all the indignities, I feel like losing a shoe is up there. That's like a punchline.

B: You get hit and the shoe just flies off screen.

So part of the reason, obviously not the whole reason, but part of it is she's ready for that new york dick

B: I don't want to shit on new york dick but...

N: Let's just hold on that phrase

B: I feel like its not that great. Um. I mean, I've only really done Boston and New York. But..

N: however mediocre you think it is, it gets worse outside of new york.

B: Of course there's some dick that's so good you have to really make sure you don't lose track of it, but the vast majority of dick just scratches an itch.

B: Yeah, I'm being gone down on not that often right now, like if I ask sure, but now I learned how to come from like heterosexual penetrative sex. I mean not dick only, but I've learned like which positions and what I need to do or whatever. Which is a neat thing to learn how to do as a 26 year old.

N: J is so small she just slivers away and hides in a crease in the sheets when I ask.

B: Haha, you make it sound she's a silverfish. Iunno sex is weird. Like I'm 26 and I just learned to come from dick. Granted I'm super attracted to my partner right now, and my sex drive is a little higher, so I don't really feel picky in that situation. It's been nice to fall a into a pattern together, and learn some stuff and be flexible.

N: Did you see this?

B: I like the big wax tongue.

N: You can touch it.

B: Oh my god it feels amazing.

N: yeah it’s made of a foam rubber

B: Eek! Is that the art?

N: Yeah

B: I stepped on the art. I'm supposed to step on the art, right?

N: Yeah. It's a long unfolding performance art.

B: I am part of the art, then. I wonder how many other people it terrified.

B: Are you in this?

N: That's a good question, I don't know. I stretched some of these canvases though.

B: Is it cheaper to stretch them yourself.

N: well it's cheaper to ship them unstretched and then stretch them

B: do they ever crack?

N: Yeah but I'm doing it to my own stuff mostly.

B: ah. Is it hard?

N: yeah.

pop

B: ahh, I'm wary of the floor now

N: hehehe

B: ahh

N: hehe *continues popping the floor poppers*

B: I really want a new tattoo, but the idea I have is super lame. Egon Schiele has these kind of wrecked looking flowers that I like, but it's a bit of a tumblr girl thing.

N: He's maybe a little a popular for the wrong reasons, but still good. I don't know if I've seen the flowers though.

B: I feel like if I was getting a nude, on ma body, that'd be a little redundant. But--

N: You should totally get a boob like slightly off on your boob.

B: Yes! I really wanted wild flowers though, but they were all too pretty. These are rougher or something. Wildflowers just remind me of home, and of my mom.

N: Schiele kind of looks naive or something as well, which is a good way to hit that from the side.

B: What's the plan. Drinks, chatting, friends, dancing?

N: Theres no plan. I might have a date, but you can come.

B: Would we leave it on if we hung out with people. Also should we like establish boundaries or anything? In terms of your date and the M situation, I kind of want expectations for me and boundaries in place.

N: What do you mean?

B: I mean, we have had sex.

N: Yes, I remember.

B: So like how am I introduced in this context? That seems awkward.

N: I'm putting like no expectations, I mean not 100% comfortable but I'm pretty happy with things just being relaxed. I'm not tryna fuuck.

B: Okay, yeah. I didn't know if I was signing myself up for a threesome or something.

N: I don't even know what this would be, or if it would go anywhere, but no.

B: Okay, yeah. I mean. Yeah, alright. We'll see.

N: Oh your head is cold, why is your head cold? Maybe you were lickin’.

B: Maww

B: how do you .. okay i understand this isn’t a real question, but, how do you make the paint paint? It looks hard.

N: Make the paint paint?

B: How do you make the paint paint? Noun version of paint, verb version of paint.

N: What?

B: It looks hard.

N: Uh

B: Like physically hard.

N: Oh. Some of it is hard. I scrape it off with this razor blade. Oil paint doesn’t dry, it oxidizes. You can sort of reinvigorate it to a certain extent by adding oil, but only to a certain extent because it becomes a hard resin.

B: Oh

N: Actually something else that’s, well this isn’t related. I used to paint on these ones, and now I’m using these

B: canvas and gesso

N: You can’t sort of see, here look at the edge here. There’s a thin see through plastic product.. can you see, where can you see, here. Feel this. It’s soft and then it’s rough. It’s called PDA Size. It’s used in book making. And I’ve been experimenting with using it as a gesso.

B: Ahh. The white ones are crisper.

N: I’m kind of letting the linen texture and color show through to a certain. Yeah and also to some extent I think there’s a reference, one that I’m trying to induce to a traditional technique. Contemporary image logic in a traditional environment.

B: it’s good for flesh

B: Is this alright

N: Are you asking the cat if you can take a picture of him?

B: I’m asking you.

N: Yeah. If you make kissy noise he’ll look at you.

B: Uh, how much gin is in this? Just so I don’t put myself under the table.

N: Like two fingers.

B: you can see it swirling

N: Oh that’s so good. Let me see if I can get it.

B: It kind of stopped. Do you want me to stir? Ohh it started up again.

N: Pretty good. Are you recording?

B: Have been for a second. It’s just there.

Well I do think that I’ve taken on some of our collaborations in the past year into my extended art practice identity, that I’m not just someone who makes paintings, that I also make funky language stuff with you. And so when opportunity came along… Well, and I read a lot of interviews and I’m interested in them, so I am interesting in how their are done. I guess I also feel like I function better on one-on-one, socially.

N: Out of interviews. I think some of it is fantasizing myself into the scenario, like a casual comparing of sensibility. Maybe in a way, that’s a little too meta. But I listen and try and think how would I respond to that?

B: Who do you fantasize yourself as, the, well I guess it’s hard sometimes to tell who’s doing who..

N: I kind of like fiction that feels like my inner voice. Well, I had this thing with a friend in Berlin, this bookclub we started reading ernst junger, and we had plans to read cioran

B: Oh my god I love cioran. I read him in college when I was super sad.. so

N: Excruciating nihilism. At least Nietzsche is kind of enthusiastic about it.

B: Invigorating nihilism. Like it can get perversely generative. Versus cioran is just soo. Ugh. He’s just like morose. In a way, it also wraps back around and becomes a kind of idealized melancholy.

N: Oh god, but he’s just a slow drag on your soul.

B: It was interesting to me, because I want to be more immediate, and have a clearer emotional stake and like psychological or something stakes in the work I’m doing. I like the idea of fantasizing yourself into a situation, [I really like the idea that I’ve fantasized myself into this situation, given the history and given the way desire seems to work on me. It isn’t exactly untrue.]

N: Do you feel like we have clear emotional stakes?

B: By emotional stakes, I don’t mean a channel of intense desire or rage. Though there is some desire and some compexity to it. I mean closer to my self than say an algorithm trained on another person’s texts can get. In a way. Not romantic stakes. I mean I want good things for you and the kitties and the art. And you’ve known me for a while, and in a few different contexts. And the longevity is cool, because we’ve gotten to be different people along the way.

N: I’ve floated the idea with a few people, a few friends that it’s better to have fucked first and then become friends. Like it gets rid of something, or establishes something, or does some sort of work.

B: Thats one thing that continues to flabberghast me. The way that I feel like I know someone after sex. Like I’ve seen them naked and somewhat vulnerable, and they’ve seen me naked and well usually super vulnerable.. That’s true especially lately, in that I’m less alienated from the experience of sex. But I just feel closer or something. And I keep having the experience of feeling close and known, and then that not at all matching up with the other person’s reality, that honestly breaks my heart a little. Like, most often with older straight guys. Like I’ll think that we’re becoming friends, have sex expecting to become better friends, and then have them never speak to me again.

N: Like they’re aiming at something and then once they get it?

B: Yeah, but it kind of baffles me, because I’m not hot shit. Like if you’re trying to make notches in your bedpost, I’m an odd target. I think it’s more that there’s a script or schema in place, where casual sex means someone is disposable. Versus I’ve not had that experience in my queer community. Like sometimes or rarely things will be weird for a bit, but it resolves. Versus these older dudes, just leave me hanging oddly. The younger straight dudes have less of the idea that if you speak to someone after you fuck them, you’re suddenly married.

so like omg do you really need that much moral cover to be a slut?

N: This boy M is just the softest boy, non-threatening and beautiful. But he sleeps with everyone. He slept with my friend and she said he could not admit to himself that he liked sleeping around,

B: he had to keep up the lovelorn performance. God that’s even more violent. Like if a boy is an avowed slut, then you can hit them up and just be honest with eachother. I know those boys. I’ve bedded a few in a my day. They’re great to hit up when you actively dont want emotional work, but want to fuck something. Versus that whole, I’m really serious about finding love but there’s something wrong with you narrative is horrible.

N: bedded... Yeah, it disingenuous. It holds out a sense of false promise to people who are serious, and then it forces slutty people to engage in their weird game. Like over the winter the friend I was talking about got with him, and she said just wanted to cuff him for winter but he couldn’t stop with the

B: wait is that what cuffing means? I thought cuffing season referred to like cuffing your pants.

N: Explain that.

B: Cause it’s fall, so you put away the shorts and you get out the pants, but its a still warmer so you cuff them.

N: You might be right

B: No you’re definitely right, because I also thought thot was slang for a thing you think instead of an abbreviation of that hoe over there.

N: Oh that’s cute. But yeah but she just wanted to cuff someone and the guy thought she was being to calculating about things.

B: Ugh. I would much rather have someone be straightforward and say hey you’re gorgeous, and I want to sleep with you but have no emotional bandwidth for anything else. Like when people pull that shit of like oh I’ve had a crush on you for ten months, let’s fuck, and then I’ll text you for seven weeks, but not tell you when I get a real girlfriend.

B: well yeah. Though I mean there’s a balance to be struck. There’s been like four threesomes that I’ve straight up slept through.

N: Slept through?

B: Like my partner and whoever else set something up, knowing I’d be down, because I’m like perpetually, terminally down.

N: Haha

B: And then by the time they’re like back or ready or whatever I’m curled into a tiny, warm, ball completely unwakeable.

N: I like when they bite me, because they do it so carefully.

B: You like it.

N: less so when they use their claws

B: Oh you’ve never even smoked anything. Oh my god.

N: No and it felt really weird on my lungs. It kind of makes me want to go in a sauna.

B: Oh my god you’ve never been in a sauna? I went like three weeks ago.

N: There’s a big sauna near here that I’ve been trying to go to. It has like private rooms with a hot tub and a sauna.

B: Every trip I’ve taken recently, I’ve managed to get a spa type experience in. Which is super decdent but.

N: I’ve being trying to book this one near here for a while but I haven’t yet

B: We should go tomorrow.

N: I’ll call. Okay so its 25 dollars a person, and they have rooms available later in the evening.

B: You have such a decadent life. Excellent pants, covered in cats, surrounded by art

N: Excellent pants?

B: Excellent pants! Am I wrong? No I was just starting small and working up, but also to be fair, excellent pants are foundational for happiness. Oh, I need to call my sister.. Can I go do that?

N: Yeah

N: so my brain as come up with two options.

B: your brain has

B: I don’t like it. It’s like.. It’s like fake fun. It’s a bunch of people trying to convince themselves they’re cool and interesting. And they’re not. It’s like chill out, you’re a corporate lawyer, sure you’re whipping a woman in front of a crowd of other shills, but that doesn’t mean you’re cool.

N: What would it need to be actually fun?

B: To not be a sex club. To not be forced, or anonymous, or awkward.

N: Yeah well the schwitz is closing down

B: If I was starting a sex club, I would put it in a church and have only one room, with a max of 15 or 20 people. And everyone is chosen for a given party based on how well they’ll get along and how much they have in common. And then time is the factor that determines whether people get down or not, instead of like separate spaces where one is always already a writhing kronenberg monster.

N: I’ve got the avocado, and the hand one.

B: What’s the hand?

N: on my palm I have ‘Ne Travaillez Jamais’. It means never work. But the idea is that the more worn my hands get, the more the tattoo fades.

N: I think I might get another one in new york. This equation kunst equals capital..

B: whats kunst. I know what capital is haha

N: art

B: ahh I see . I thought it might mean pussy is capital

N: haha no. The other one is a ken price drawing of a naked woman with her legs spread, and it says dont think about her while youre driving. But I don’t know how I would get it. Just the text or the text and the image and where

B: Get the image in right here, straddling you. Like you have to shave to get it, but then when it grows back it’ll be partially obscured. If you have any other patchy hair on your body thats what you should do with it

N: Fill it with tattoos

B: Fill it with cunts

N: Are you looking up long legged chicken in jorts?

B: First I’m looking up long legged chicken, because I want relevant results.

N: wow. wow. wow.

B: I might be sleepy. I might be ready for sleep. Is that okay.

N: Yeah.

B: Oh yeah long legged chicken in jorts. Here we go.

N: ahh haha, close.

B: In boxing shorts. The rest are chicks in jorts. Human chicks. You should put a variety of chickens in your backyard.

N: Christine has chickens.

B: Oh my god, does she have americunas?

N: I don’t know you’d have to ask her.

B: If she doesn’t she should get some. They lay colorful eggs. And I think they are good in cold weather as well.

N: Yeah. Okay, I told M I would call her before I went to bed so I’m gonna do that and then come occupy the other half of the bed.

B: Okay, I’m gonna pass out and cudddle your cats. If you want me to sleep on the couch that’s also fine. If that’s neccessary.

N: I don’t think its neccessary.

B: Okay, goodnight.

B: Yeah I sleep okay, except I woke up with a hangover headache so I drank like six glasses of water, then I had to pee a bunch because of all the water. So I slept well except for self inflicted interuptions. Ugh these jeans I missed a button because they’re dumb and they dont have a zipper.

B: Who’s taking care of them while your away

N: Roomate. She’ll just pop down and feed them.

B: So what’s this one. I kind of read a crotch or a breast in the gesture, but...

N: A throat

B: right too furry for a breast

N: I guess my breasts are furry

B: No nipple on the throat.

N: some people have said they read the thumb as a nipple.

B: Kind of, maybe. And this, what’s this? I see a shoe, a foot.

N: Yeah and the blue wrinkles are the edge of a lap

B; so the foot is crossed over like

N: Yeah.

B: [inaudible]

N: [yelling] pigeons.

B: Yay! I think the thing that I liked about the idea, is that one of the art publications I read most is bomb. Which is literally subheaded, artists in conversation. And they have a shit ton of interviews, even a book of them. And I really like the kind of forced out, or half baked, or heavily mediated ideas that come from the space of a conversation between friends. It a faster, hotter way of coming up with stuff. Plus it kind of creates an idealized space of flattened power dynamics. But then on the other side its super parasitic. Like you’re performing being an off the cuff or being equal in order to reap some sort of benefit down the line. Lord knows its somewhat rehearsed and scripted.

For the most part theres a mutuality. The reader gets to use the text to access a kind of empathy or intimacy. Its a cool form. You get more of a stake it your ideas, they’re associated with your self and your body in a way that isn’t true of a lot of other forms. That whole habermas thing about the public, where the subject is stripped away and becomes just a vehicle for an idea, for reason. It’s absurd, but I think the interview can undermine that in some ways. Your self is inserted back in, with its vocal ticks, and gestures, and habits of thought. The body responds to the interlocutor no matter what. I think selfie art kind of makes a similar argument, inserting the body back into the public sphere. We’re doing the same here, in a subtler or more obscured way

B: with images of women or sexualized images of women, its broken in the way that these come from the tradition of having been object for consumption. Which is just one way the subject can be broken there are other ways it can be broken, moreinteresting way. A relationship to a self as a object for masturbation

0 notes