#notaguyrai
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My statement about the drama
Hello!
This post will be about the whole Rai drama that they orchestrated against @asrabounding. But first, I would kindly ask anyone who hasn't read the post by @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia, aka brainrot, to do so. It can be quite triggering, so please, be mindful of that and make sure to put yourself first. The same warning applies to my own post.
First, I want to apologize. I did bad stuff, and I've been doing my best to mend my mistakes. I'm very sorry about the things I've done, but especially about the things I could have prevented. My friends got hurt because of something I was a part of and could have avoided if I wasn't scared to stand up for others and myself.
This is going to be a long post. Sorry about that too, but this whole drama was simply a lot.
Brainrot's part perfectly sums up what happened, but since I was there from the beginning of the drama, it would be fair to add some things from my own POV. It isn't nearly as professional as brainrot's statement, and it's more about my personal experience, which I think shows how this drama affected the well-being of the people involved. Again, this is my experience, but we all share the feelings.
The first time I posted from this account on Tumblr was in July 2022, and Rai reached out to me on November 1. Apparently, I was too intimidating, but as it turns out, Rai just needed me (and other people) for their plans. They specifically wanted to involve mainly Nadia fans, so it was only a matter of time before they messaged me.
Why Nadia fans, you might ask? Well, we could sit here all night and take guesses because no one knows for certain. Rai only pretended to like Nadia (because wanting to kill her is enough proof that they didn't like her), so their reason must have been something psychological. But again, we can't know for certain. Sadly, their actions put us Nadia fans in a bad light, and their friendship was never genuine.
I have a guess that Rai had been stalking a few bigger creators for a while and just waiting for one of them to make a mistake. Asrabounding (AB from now on) happened to be the unlucky one.
Honestly, I didn't know AB at all. We never interacted, and the first time I ever heard about him was through Rai. At the beginning of December 2022, Rai told our server about AB and how he and his girlfriend were harassing their "boi," Panda, who was completely incapable of taking care of himself, at least according to Rai.
I spoke to Panda a few times during the drama; he is nothing like Rai described, which You can tell by the screenshots as well. He is overly friendly and tends to overshare, and I would say he is pure evil, but that adjective would be far too generous in his case. I also have to add that there is no evidence of Rai and Panda being two different people. I've looked through my DMs, and a few servers that Rai is/was in and found zero traces of them ever having a conversation. I also asked around, and no one has ever seen these two interact with each other. Once, we even asked Rai to invite Panda to their server because we all wanted to get to know him, but they immediately refused, saying he is too soft and all kinds of weird things to say about one's partner. I suppose it would be hard to text from two accounts simultaneously.
The private server that Rai created was made in November, around the time when the drama began. It's crucial to mention that none of us knew AB. This allowed Rai to portray AB however they wanted.
There are screenshots in the pdf from the DMs between Rai and me. They told me quite a few things but purposefully left out important details. The screenshots Rai sent me were always sent in a way that would make AB seem like the worst person to ever exist. I (and the server) also received altered versions of AB's art, which were edited in a way to make it seem like AB was making Asra whiter or orange. Additionally, Rai maliciously gathered personal information about AB and his loved ones, which is both legally and morally wrong.
The call-out blog happened and didn't gain much attention, which was quite disappointing to Rai, but failure didn't stop them. They recruited more people for the sole purpose of hurting AB. We retreated to Rai's server until the previous drama, where Rai popped up every once in a while to stir up our anger and disturb our conversations.
Then we arrive at the latest drama. Rai's efforts paid off. One of our friends did a call-out post, and things went crazy. I don't have to describe what happened because it's in brainrot's statement, but there is one thing that I really want to highlight. Rai did nothing. Everything we did was because of them and their "boi," and they just watched us all get burned.
At some point, brainrot presented us with an opportunity to make peace with AB. Two of us even volunteered to talk to him, myself included. Rai didn't even react while everyone else was looking forward to ending the drama. Actually, Rai was unusually quiet. They gave us an excuse for being less active and just left us to deal with their mess.
When brainrot left, I almost immediately reached out to him for two reasons. 1. He is my friend. I was concerned about his well-being and wanted to make sure he was alright. 2. I was physically and mentally sick of the drama and considered leaving the server myself. There were days when I could barely function because of the anxiety I felt. I was a mess. Everyone was, but never Rai. I felt like I was in the middle of a battlefield, watching my friends get slaughtered while the person behind it all, Rai, was having the time of their life far away in a luxury tent. I desperately wanted to end that.
On multiple occasions, I muted the server for hours and sometimes even days because I could not deal with Rai. There was a clear hierarchy, and Rai would constantly try to compete with us and bring us down. Everyone else was behaving like normal human beings, and then Rai would randomly show up to pollute the air with their "hee hoos" and disturbing stories they claimed were true.
The same person who said they were gathering courage for months to text me never showed any care, remorse, or fear during our nine months of "friendship." Also, the very same person would go around texting random people on Tumblr, checking how intelligent and "mentally stimulating" (they said that, not me) they are, and trying to figure out if they hate Dorian and/or Asrabounding. They were also looking for people in a more vulnerable position, such as those who were new to the fandom and/or lonely. When everything on the list was ticked off, Rai invited them to their server. For privacy reasons, I'm not going to say an exact number, but about ten of us were "recruited."
Brainrot and I talked a bit, we both vented, and we eventually reached the point where I said that I would talk to AB just to end this madness. And so I did with brainrot's help, even though it horrified me, but I knew I had to do it for others. I expected AB to be just as Rai presented him to us, but he wasn't. The AB I was talking to was kind, understanding, cooperative, and tired of everything that had been going on. It often made me wish I met AB sooner than Rai. Our conversations with AB were and still are civil and friendly, and I am nothing but thankful to him. We compared our notes, then brainrot and I went back to DMs for a while to discuss everything.
We realized that 1. Everything Rai said about AB was a lie, and Rai just wanted to hurt him. 2. Rai lied to us and used several manipulation tactics on us. 3. Our friends were unsafe.
To include a lie, once, Rai texted me to ask if I wanted to know their legal name. They told me that they were named after a character from an anime. Later, I found from a friend that Rai told her their name too. It was from the same anime but a different character's name. This was just one example.
So we made a plan, and we had to act fast. I quickly gathered a few screenshots from the server that we could use, then we texted everyone involved about the news. Thank gayness, everything instantly clicked for the vast majority of our friends. It was tough, exhausting, and very emotional. Being betrayed by someone we considered a friend was no joke. Honestly, have never felt so much anxiety in my life. It was suffocating.
Then, three of us deleted every channel in Rai's server (every member had maximum permissions). In the meantime, we made a server of our own, a safe place where we could heal together, continue our friendship, and discuss what we were going to do next.
And that's how we got to brainrot's post. I created a document and put in whatever screenshots I had from Rai's server and my DMs. Then I asked everyone to send me all the screenshots they wanted us to include, and I put those in too. That pdf is the fruit of multiple days of work and immeasurable disgust. Even putting it together almost made me throw up more than once. It was available to everyone involved (our friends and AB as well) from start to finish. They were all free to make edits, give suggestions, and add screenshots if they wanted. AB added the anons he received and a bunch of other screenshots. Brainrot wrote his statement, and I did the group's, which is one of the reasons I didn't want to make another one. In the meantime, we found out more about Rai, and it was not pretty; the screenshots prove it all.
This wasn't the first time Rai tried to take someone down, and they bragged about it multiple times. They were also quite proud of how they were able to manipulate people. I mean, just look at what they said about how they got together with their "boi." We know of two people in the fandom who were hurt by Rai. From what I know, unlike AB, they weren't content creators. My assumption is that doing the same thing over again wasn't giving Rai the same thrill anymore, so they wanted to target someone bigger. Bigger drama = more pleasure for Rai.
There was one person who got kicked from the server because they didn't hate Lucio. Rai provoked them to make them act out of character, which resulted in a kick and ban. There were others that Rai wanted to kick out but didn't because they were still needed for the drama.
The things Rai sometimes said about characters and the people who like them were sickening. They constantly described Lucio as a mass murderer and a r*pist and harassed anyone who didn't agree with their opinions. Rai also headcanoned that Lucio SAd Nadia during their marriage. And a lot of other things...
We had to tiptoe around Rai all the time because being kicked out of the server wouldn't have been a big deal, but being separated from our friends against our will was not something any of us wanted. That small but loving community we created for ourselves (Rai excluded) was why we stayed on that server in the first place.
But also, we were scared. Whenever Rai was present, they turned us into an angry mob. I don't know when we started to feel this way, but we were uncomfortable and wanted out. However, when we looked at each other, the angry mob was all we could see. Even when an individual was in doubt, the others still put on their angry mask, and that one person felt alone. I often felt like that too, but we all knew what Rai was capable of. We were already hurting, and we didn't want to unleash the angry mob against us. If Rai were to come after any of us, they would most definitely twist everything in a way to make themselves seem like the victim(s).
Soon after the server was gone and I was no longer talking to Rai, I realized that the hate I once felt wasn't my own.
Once again, I'm sorry about what happened. We all are. I apologize for the hurt I caused to everyone and take full responsibility for my actions. I never intended for things to escalate things this far, and I regret everything I've done. The things we did were not done with a clear mind. If it wasn't for Rai and their mind games, none of us would have done anything like this.
And Azi, I'm especially sorry to you. Despite everything we've done, you treated us with kindness and worked together with us to make the fandom a safer place. You have no idea how much this means. I'm thankful for the chance of getting to know the real you.
I also apologize to my followers for bringing drama onto my blog. While I'm open to questions about what happened, I would like to get back to writing my silly little headcanons like I did before. I'm an open book, but simping for Nadia is why I made this blog in the first place. The good thing is that now I'm able to do the things I've always wanted without Rai constantly reminding me why this and that is so bad. And who knows, maybe you'll see me bring some Nadia content to a different platform as well...
Our friend group, I apologize to you as well because I didn't protect you when I could have. Things would have been different if I wasn't so scared.
Azi, Brainrot, and friends. Thank you for everything. Your support and cooperation helped all of us through these hard times, and I hope we can continue to heal together.
I don't expect forgiveness from anyone because what happened is truly horrible. While countless lies and manipulation were involved, a simple apology won't undo the harm we caused. We have been doing our best to make up for our mistakes and will continue to do so in the future as well. However, please, please be careful. Rai is still a threat, so if you see them anywhere, just run. Protect yourselves and, if you can, others as well. Please, stay safe and learn from our horrible mistakes.
-Eszter
#the arcana#arcana#notaguyrai#rai drama#drama#the arcana game#arcana game#nadia satrinava#portia devorak#count lucio#julian devorak#muriel of the kokhuri#asra alnazar
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Ohhh thank you for telling the story! I felt something was off about mentioned ppl, but it was hard to see which informations are true because I don't know any of them outside of Tumblr ...
I'm glad it helped! Our main goal is to warn anyone else who may be targeted, and to clear the board about how all the accusations against @asrabounding are false.
I personally also wanted the chance to get everything out in the open so I could apologize for my own part in it and move on. Thankfully Rai never asked me to do anything too extreme (I'm more likely to watch drama than take part in it) but I still participated and needed to confess.
Cheers, anon friend :)
brainrot
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I volunteer Hiraya if you want them 👀👀
They have a wisdom or two to share
@notaguyrai
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Hello everyone. I am the man that you all know as Panda. I ran the pandasanddragons blog. Most notoriously, you know me in association with “Rai” who is now going by Kip and by he/him pronouns. His tumblr blogs, as far as I know, are notaguyrai, slaps-and-scribbles, volcanic-penis, and terracotta-crockpot. He also made an Instagram account at one point. I don’t think he uses it anymore but it is boopyboopcoup. I have been able to prove with certainty that me and Kip are not the same person. I had a voice call with @theintrovertbean who had been in voice calls with Kip and was gracious enough to join me in one so that I could prove once and for all that we are different people. @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia was present during the call as well to serve as a mediator and can also confirm this information.
If you are not familiar with the situation, the original callout post is here.
I want to say that I am so sorry for everything. I let myself get caught up in all of this. I let Kip do horrible things, and encouraged him. I helped him, and I am deeply, exceptionally ashamed of that. I know that nothing I do can ever truly fix what I’ve done. I know that I messed up. I have no excuses for that. It was more terrible than I have words for. You don’t have to forgive me, I don’t expect you to either. But you all deserve a real apology. Not the fake bullshit one I had originally made.
Those posts original apology posts I made were made to try and cover things up, and to try and work out ways out of the whole situation. Those posts were also in some ways an attempt to pull all the blame onto myself, and take it off of Kip so he could keep doing whatever he wanted to do.
This did all truly start with a miscommunication, I vented to Kip. He decided he needed to do something and eventually we both got called out for that in August. Even before that, though, I had started to resent him. Afterwards, it all got worse. If I wanted to talk about it, he would brush me off. He would tell me that since it had already happened, there was nothing to talk about. And we started to argue more, I started to get more distant and he got angry about it.
I also want to apologize for my old blog. I originally made it so that I could make a post about my own opinion/analysis/whatever of Asra and Julian. I didn’t expect to get any attention and I hadn’t even planned on making more than one post. Kip encouraged me to keep posting, he helped me with the blog a lot. But I never wanted to just be a hater or be inflammatory with that blog. And so I am sorry for everyone who I hurt or upset with those posts.
The rest of this post discusses Kip, what he’s done, and my experience with him. Some of it is…a bit graphic and absolutely disgusting. But I feel it’s important to put it all out there. This is the last post I am going to make. After that, I’m leaving this fandom entirely and completely.
Recently, Kip has become active again, trying to cause harm to the Arcana fandom. This had brought attention to me, and to old posts I had made to vent about the situation and lead people to believe that the account was Kip and the source of the harassing messages.
I have decided to come forward with what I know about Kip and his current whereabouts, little as that may be. I do not want to run away from this situation anymore and let him have continued power over me.
I had at one point believed Kip to be my best friend and so I trusted him. I vented to him, I confided in him. I now believe that he saw me as not a person but as a toy. There were times when he would ask me to send messages to people, usually harmless. But he would also ask me to harass people on his behalf. When I expressed that I wasn’t comfortable with that, he would often call me a coward. I told him I sent things so he would leave me alone. He would even get angry with me for not wanting an ongoing conflict with someone I had had a slight miscommunication with. He was always pushing me into things because he “stupidly believed” that I was finally gaining confidence
Kip heavily manipulated me to believe that he was right, that he cared about me, and that anything he was doing was for my honor, as he put it.
He would often belittle me, implying that I was stupid or inferior to him, and also often ignored my boundaries. Much of this came in the form of talking about our OC’s. Often times, Kip would tell me that he was horny. He would then proceed to write about how his OC would assault mine. I participated and I wish I hadn’t. Because it was horrible and I never actually enjoyed it. Kip viewed my OC as his own personal sex toy. He wanted to write “dead dove” content about my OC. I had expressed not liking an idea he was writing out, and he ignored it and kept going with the scenario. I even framed it as my OC’s boundaries but it all went ignored and he would continue. I would try to steer it in a more palatable direction. But that turned into Kip wanting my OC to assault his.
After a creator was sent suicide bait, and a different user, wanting to defend them, came to my blog saying it had been me, I panicked. All I knew was that I had not sent anything like that, and I wanted people to know. It was then doubled down that I did it, with reblogs stating it, several non anon asks, and several anon asks. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I wanted to just delete the blog and be done with it all. Kip, however, told me that many people loved that blog and I should leave it up so they could revisit if they wanted to. So he offered taking it so that I could have some peace while everyone else got to still have access to the blog as an archive. After that I had no control over or access to that blog. In some respects, Kip had access over all of my socials, or at least my tumblr blogs. He would tell me to send asks to people, and I would as long as it was harmless. I never sent anything that would have been harassing or cruel and he called me a coward for it.
Kip often edited my posts, he had access to them before they were posted, he read pretty much anything I posted before I posted it, and put his own suggestions into them.
Some of these images may be a bit blurry, but I needed to put them together since I’m on my phone. These images are from the discord server that me and Kip shared. After the initial call out post, I deleted my old account and joined the server from a new account. So the “deleted user” is me, and I took screenshots from the new account.
This group of images is Kip describing how everyone has always been nothing it a social experiment to him, myself included
This group of images is how Kip liked to abuse my OC. Mostly starting with things like “Your OC is afraid of [x] right? So what if…” it got intense and this is the most mild of it all.
This one is specifically something Kip came up with because both me and my OC share a fear of being pregnant
These images are of Kip…generally manipulating and guilting me. And getting upset that I had wanted to apologize for everything
Kip guilt tripping me, riling me up, and just being awful in general
More guilting, and mistreatment. Things that hurt, and in the top left corner, when this all started. And I told Kip to drop it all. And of course, that he was angry with me for making amends with someone immediately instead of holding a grudge and being mean to them.
These last two are our last conversations. I was angry at him and I finally confronted him about everything. And of me having had doubts, having been disgusted with myself about everything that happened and Kip telling me that we were doing the right thing.
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Got tagged by @homelesspersonchic so let's do this :>
Three favorite ships: Sparrington(Potc), Xedgin(DnD:HAT), Ineffable Husband's(Good Omens)
First ship: Percabeth(Percy Jackson and the Olympians)
Last movie: Nimona
Currently reading: A lot of stuff lmao, but most recently, Xedgin fanfics
Currently watching: The Witcher, though it's technically a rewatch? I'm currently rewatching season 1 and 2 before I watch the new season for the first time
Currently eating: Brownies, just made some this morning
Currently craving: Ramen, it's a comfort food of mine and I haven't had it in a while
Tagging @arenathesia and @notaguyrai but everyone else is welcome to do it too!
#pirates of the caribbean#james norrington#jack sparrow#sparrington#dnd honor among thieves#dndhat#dungeons & dragons honor among thieves#xenk yendar#edgin darvis#edgin x xenk#xedgin#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#the witcher#nimoma
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Meow
Hru?
Meow
m..meow?? hi?? what's..um..up?
i'm..good?? doing great! uh, how are you??
also. if this is @notaguyrai, you know you can just. talk to me in my messages?? you don't have to meow in my asks
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9 people you would like to get to know better
@automatisma thank youuu for the tag :D
Three ships: Hannibal/Will (they’re soulmates you can’t change my mind; Hannibal), Kerry/Johnny (onesided because i love to hurt my own feelings; cyberpunk 2077), Rakan/Xayah (me shipping a non toxic couple??? whats going on here; league of legends)
First ship: FrUk from hetalia...... yes im ashamed too....
Last song: flesh is the law by genitorturers, feeling sexy and shit
Last movie: american mary, kinda boring but still a nice movie
Currently reading: the virgin suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides (momento tumblrina 💅💅💅)
Currently watching: myself sinking in despair after the 600th bad news of the month (jk jk im not watching anything atm)
Currently consuming: almonds
Currently craving: money for guitar things :(
9 is too much people to tag bye
@threecheersmaka @transaeneas @notaguyrai @southernpasbelle
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New headcanon courtesy of @notaguyrai -
Nadia DEFINITELY talks in her sleep, like, a lot. Will definitely say weird, cryptic, spooky shit that freaks you tf out. Will respond if you talk to her, but not in any ways that actually make sense as a direct response to what you said.
I really can't stop laughing at different scenarios of this playing in my head now LMAO
#notaguyrai#sb speaks#yes i laugh at my own jokes#arcana#the arcana#the arcana game#nadia#nadia satrinava#countess#arcana hcs#headcanons#imagines#fanfic#long live the queen
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mc telling the main 6 (minus asra) they don’t have much time left
wow!! @notaguyrai this hurt. thank you though! i enjoyed writing this one:)) enjoy!
nadia
• you know you have to tell her, and yet… you find yourself gazing at her, laughing deeply with portia at the gala she’s thrown to celebrate your ten-year anniversary, and you just— can’t find it in you to shatter the happiness she’s found with you and all your friends and family. you know that this is going to hit her hard.
• you resolve to tell her tonight. you don’t want to spoil the festivities… but you promised yourself that you’d tell her. tonight. “my love, is something the matter?” comes her gentle voice, concern lacing through it ever so slightly as you’re snapped from your musing. “i’ll tell you later.” you give her a small smile, taking her hand in yours and stroking the back of it with your thumb.
• she turns to you completely, now. “mc, are you alright?” she looks at you, concern now evident on her face. “it’s nothing, my heart.” you force a smile, but she sees right through you, stepping back ever so slightly to take you in. you’re wearing a magnificent gown that she’s had made for you for tonight especially, or other lovely, perfectly-fitted formal attire. “nadi, please. i don’t want to do this here,” you tell her, almost pleading, pain twisting through your words as you place a hand on her cheek. “enjoy your evening. we’ll talk later.” you pull away from her, but she’s wound her hand around your waist and pulled you back into her, her arm securely around your waist, now, as she tilts your head up and looks into your eyes, panic now dancing in hers.
• “nadi.” you lay a hand on her chest. “my love.” you try to take a step back, but she’s pulled you flush against her body, your contours fitting together tightly, and you’re caged in by her strong arms. “please, trust that it isn’t urgent,” you try, but she isn’t having it. “would it help if i told you that it wouldn’t matter whether you knew tonight, tomorrow, or five years from now?” you lay a hand on her cheek. “i promise you, it’s not of dire importance right now.” she’s been quiet throughout your attempts to withhold your secret for just a few more hours, but now she speaks, her warm breath tickling your cheek. “if it’s not important,” she tells you, her eyes unwavering, “then why is it that once i pressed you about it, you’ve been so insistent? quite a disproportionate reaction for something so seemingly unimportant.” you should have known better than to try and withhold anything from your countess.
• “fine. i’ll compromise with you,” you tell her with a smile. “if you don’t think about it or mention it for the rest of this evening and just enjoy yourself, i promise you on my word as a major arcana, that i will tell you whenever you should like to hear my very boring confession.” you hope you at least sound convincing about the ‘boring’ part of your offer, but her eyes tell you nothing. “fine,” comes her reply, and she lets you away from her, removing your arms. you don’t budge. “but right after the gala. alright, mc?” comes her questioning voice. not trusting yourself to do anything other than nod, you turn away from her, pulling her with you to the centre of the ballroom.
• “nadi, dance with me!” your face lights up adorably as she calls for a folk song, the band beginning to play as she pulls you with her. “i hope you don’t mind if i lead,” she tells you with a warm smile. you beam back at her so widely that you think your face might split as you think back to that first dance that the two of you shared together.
• this is the song i imagine you two dancing to, as it seems exactly like something nadia would absolutely delight in leading you through. ‘kingdom dance’ is its name. here is the version on the violin if you would prefer.
• you don’t have time to answer as the band begins to play the entrance to the song. the two of you press your palms together with the other holding your skirts gracefully to the side, (or, held behind your back) you bow to each other, your eyes never dropping from one another’s gaze. as the song starts, nadia leads the two of you in an intricately simplistic dance, pulling you towards her only for you to spin beneath her arm and twirl to meet her hand again, your eyes meeting hers with a smooth smile as she grins in delight, her eyes sparkling as she dips you smoothly, pulling you up again just as seamlessly. your lips slide closer to hers with every step, only to move away again as the dance progresses. you turn faster and faster, the song reaching its crescendo as nadia moves her hands firmly to your waist, lifting you in a turn above the ballroom as your dress or your coat flares beautifully in the air. she sets you down and she pulls you towards her again just as the song ends and she pulls you to her in a searing kiss that’s somehow still soft and tender enough to make you have to grab onto her shoulders, winding your arms around her neck. it’s only when you pull away from her that you realise the deafening cheer all around you is for the two of you. you realise that slowly, throughout the dance, people have moved away from the dance floors as the pair of you moved more intensely, feeling the music as much as you were hearing it, and you blush deeply as nadia whispers into your ear, her warm breath tickling your cheek and jasmine wafting ever-so-slightly onto you. “my dear, we should bow. that was quite the performance, after all. you were wonderful.” as you bow, you shoot an incredulous look at her. “me? you led me through the entire dance, nadi. i trusted you to support me and trusted that we’d always find each other again. that wasn’t me, my love.”
• “let’s just agree that we make quite the team,” comes her teasing voice, warm and full of love. you give her a nod as she leads you away from the dance floor. the two of you spend the evening warm in each other’s arms. when nadia hasn’t got you pulled against her with an arm around your waist, you’re sitting on her lap (diplomacy and etiquette be damned) as she feeds you sweet fruit and chocolate, or she has her head on your shoulder as you run your hands through her hair softly, caressing her face every now and again gently.
• when you’ve finally dismissed the guests, it’s well into the ungodly hours of the morning, and as you walk back to your chambers, hand in hand, you breathe a sigh of relief as you realise that she’s not going to remember to ask about your secret until tomorrow morning. but, as you arrive back at your chambers and change into your nightclothes, she walks right past your awaiting arms and to a coffee machine in the far corner of your room that you could have sworn wasn’t there before the ball. she presses a button and coffee streams into the cup. the scent wafts towards you, and you swing your legs out of bed, padding towards her and wrapping your arms around her waist, laying your cheek on her back. “nadi…” your voice is pleading. “not now. please. you won’t sleep. let’s do this in the morning,” you implore her, but she simply turns toward you with a raised eyebrow. “oh, you thought you were getting out of this?” comes her lilting voice as she pads across the room, coming to rest on the bed and patting the space beside her, blowing softly on her coffee.
• “mc, come. sit.” she beckons you, and you sit facing slightly away from her as you try to prepare yourself, but she turns you to her with a hand on your cheek, her eyes already deep with concern. she sets her coffee aside, twisting so that she faces you completely, taking your hands in hers as she looks into your eyes. “my love, whatever it is, i can take it. only tell me what’s wrong,” comes her pleading voice. you can’t face the heartbroken look on her face, and you hate that she’s so worried.
• if your apprentice is a bit awkward and generally turns to horrible jokes in the worst situations, they probably go with “okay, just tell me what you think i’m about to say. it’s probably better and then you don’t have to worry!” nadia’s soft voice comes. “mc, are you sick?” her voice breaks, but all you say is “getting warm.” “have you been sick for a while?” comes her even more strained voice. she sounds as if she’s on the brink of tears. “warmer…” “mc, are you…” she’s actually crying now, something you almost never see her do, but you can’t say it. “red hot.” “are you going to die?” “bingo!”
• if not, you simply tell her, turning to look into her eyes. “nadi i don’t know if telling you is the right thing to do, or if you’ll never look at me the same way again, or… but i know you value truthfulness above all else and honestly, i don’t think i have it in me to keep this from you.” you turn to her, and if her expression was worried before, she looks practically terrified now. “oh gods mc, what is it?” she takes your hands in her warm ones, and you force yourself to look at her as you force the words out. “nadi, i have ten years.”
• your chambers are deathly silent as she simply looks at you, her expression carefully blank. “you have ten years… mc, what does that mean?” the way her voice breaks tells you she already knows. she just needs to hear you say it. “ten years left with you, nadia.” your voice is quiet, but oh so loud in the quiet of these dark, deserted hours. “oh, gods,” comes her soft voice, your heart shattering into pieces as sobs wrack her frame, and she breaks apart in front of you as she never has before.
• “oh, nadi…” you open your arms for her and she sinks against you, clutching at your night-clothes as if you’re going to disappear right that second. you encircle her in your arms, enveloping her tightly in your embrace. she’s still sobbing profusely into your nightwear, and you rub her back gently in soothing circles the way you always do when she comes to you stressed and tired, just wanting to sink into your arms. as she quiets, you pull back to take her in, and your expression crumples. her eyes are red and glassy, her cheeks tear-stained and flushed, and hair sticks to her cheeks before you brush it back gently, tenderly. “nadi, this is why i didn’t tell you. you’ll be fine without me, you’re the strongest person i know. come, now.” you try to comfort her, but her eyes are almost angry as she looks up at you. “i’ll be fine without you? that’s all you have to say? mc, you’re everything to me.” she drops her head into your shoulder, her shoulders shaking again as you pull her up to look at you gently.
• “nadi, i truly am so sorry,” you tell her, tracing the curve of her cheek softly. “no. i refuse to accept this.” her voice is firm as she pulls away from you, tugging you up with her. “we’re going to the physician, now.” but, you grab her waist, pulling her back to you. “my love, this is magic at work— it isn’t something that can be fixed. now will you please let me explain before dragging me to be poked and prodded?” you tease her, but she’s not laughing as her scared, angry, confused, desperate eyes flicker back to yours again.
• “when asra brought me back in this body… half of his heart isn’t the only thing he sacrificed for me. i’ve had half of the life he would have led to be here. to be with you,” you tell her with a smile. “i’m here with you on time that isn’t mine.” she steps back, taking you in as she covers her mouth with shaking fingers. in this moment, she looks so fragile, so vulnerable in a way that you’ve never seen her before, that you’re seized with the visceral, instinctual urge to take her into your arms, to keep her there, away from the world’s cruelty, and the fact that she’s going to lose the one she loves soon. but you know that she’s stronger than that. and so, you take her hands in yours. “nadi. i am not unhappy, i’m not afraid. i’ve known for a while, now.” you cup her cheek with your hand, stroking it gently as the deep, sharpened pain in her eyes conveys what she can’t bring herself to. “it will happen painlessly. all that will happen is that i won’t wake up in the morning,” you tell her simply, pulling her to you again as she rests her head on yours, just standing there. not moving, not speaking.
• “i won’t age. i’m a major arcana, so i… i won’t progress to the afterlife, as you will. my duty is with my realm.” you give her another smile, but this one is bittersweet, laced through with pain. “mc.” she pauses, letting your words sink in. “what are you talking about?” she asks you, her voice wavering. “i have a choice. i can choose to leave the fool’s realm, visit you sometimes, in death’s realm— but death is a major arcana, too. there is only so much i am able to push the boundaries of the gods,” you tell her, your eyes soft.
• she is silent. “but— but when you’re— when you’re… gone, you can plead that you were mortal, once. you lived a mortal life, and so you deserve a mortal afterlife. besides, is the fool’s dominion not merely potential? the ability to become something? surely, if you will it, you could merge with death’s realm.” the quiet is deafening. you look up at her. “nadi, you’re asking me to propose to a fellow arcana that i… merge our realms?”
• she shakes her head then, tears of frustration beading on her eyelashes. “no, you’re right, of course. it would never work. i just… i’ve never met a problem i can’t solve and i won’t permit this to be the first,” she sinks back into the bed, her head in her hands. “nadi, it’s okay…” you tell her, but your voice trails off and she looks up at you, her eyes still glassy, a question dancing in them. “nadia. you wouldn’t have to go to death’s realm, if you chose it,” comes your soft voice. “major arcana may take consorts, if they so choose. it isn’t common, but the lovers are an example. of course, they’re fellow arcanum, but it would not be unheard of.” your gaze flickers to her, and away again just as quickly. “of course, death as a realm is what you make of it, and so, if you wish to visit your family and friends, death shall respect your wishes as my consort. but nadia,” you tell her, tilting her face toward yours gently. “my love. we have had time together, so much of it. truly, if you do not choose to reside in my realm with me, i understand completely.” you stroke her cheek.
• “for now, it is late… oh, well, early actually. come to bed,” you slip beneath the covers, holding out your arms to her, and she pulls the covers aside, coming to rest beside you as you wait for her to come to you. what you’ve just asked her to choose… you won’t push her if she needs some time to herself. but, she comes to rest her head on your chest, tracing the bones of your ribcage one by one as you stroke her hair. “goodnight, mc,” comes her soft, sleepy voice. “i love you.” you return the sentiment warmly, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she drifts off.
• if she chooses to stay with you, you’re relieved beyond measure that you are permitted eternity with the one you love, and you tell her as much softly, watching as her cheeks redden. when you meet with death, he is quiet as you ask what you would of him, but gives you his approval. you’re able to travel between the mortal realm and your own freely, and so you take the time to draw up and conjure a grand palace, constructed from sandstone that gleams in the sunlight, that so closely resembles the palace that you probably get confused a few times. “nadi!” you call, walking into the palace proper and dropping your backs before picking them up again. “damn. wrong palace.” you’ve added your own touch though, and it’s clear that this home belongs to the two of you.
• nadia is also given the option by her patron arcana, the high priestess, for nadia to reside in her realm. nonetheless, whatever she chooses, you support her, and the two of you find a way to make it work.
• i think that she’d probably choose to reside with you in your realm as your consort. in this life, there has been so little time together— what with rebuilding vesuvia, erasing the red plague completely, and razing clearing out the parts of vesuvia that the devil has touched, it has been a long and difficult process. as her magician and partner you were always by her side, but the two of you snatched moments in-between together, stolen rendezvous’ and quiet hiding spots. in the afterlife, she wants to spend eternity by your side— and so she chooses you, with no responsibility to others weighing on her shoulders. it’s just nadia, and what she wants. it’s a nice change.
• whatever she chooses, she probably treats you like a china doll for months afterwards, refusing to let you do anything yourself. eventually, you tell her gently. “nadi. i’m not going to break. remember? we still have time together.” she’ll exhale slowly and ease up a little, (but not too much.) but the reminder of the fact that the two of you have an eternity left together is enough that she’s content with her time in this realm with you.
• when she finally joins you in your realm, you receive her with open arms. “welcome, my love,” comes your warm voice, and she couldn’t feel any more at peace.
#nadia the arcana fluff#the arcana nadia#countess nadia#nadia satrinava#nadia the arcana#nadia x mc#nadia headcanons#nix hydra#angst headcanon#the arcana angst#angst with a happy ending#dancing#the arcana dance#the arcana dancing
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can you pls suggest a few creator, writers, friends, mutuals or followers that i can follow??? i want to support as many creators as i can! :3!!
Of course!
Shout out to @chevalier-of-fontaine/@zhonglis-empty-wallet @babufactory @auntvamp @theunrelatable-reia @the-soupiest-artist @g8se @averyfonce @rinya703 @yelena-salamander @flowerz-art @arcanecadenza @xayahagressive @helpiminhell @genshin-karebear @camishir @reinas-hub @tower-fallen @drakularts @isbus @alvrudart @mcnexter @hyaenes @ensizel @calamariqueer @laoian @beniibene @leechobsessed @poetic-emptiness-fanfic @poesoldat76 @nerdy-non-binary @notaguyrai @alyatheapprentice @juliian-devorak @echomimus @brickstick3000
These are some of them I know :D
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@notaguyrai yes I am still taking requests and here ya go.
I had to include my apprentice because I honestly couldn’t help myself and for once a drawing turned out exactly how I pictured it in my head.
Sorry if it’s not what you were hoping for.😅
(Ps send me asks if you have something you’d like me to draw.)
Don’t forget reblogging art helps artists grow and thrive.
#the arcana#nadia satrinava#the arcana nadia#the arcane game#the arcana blog#nadia the arcana#the arcana apprentice#the arcana fan apprentice#the arcana fanart#fanart#nadia fanfic#nadia x apprentice#nadia satrinava fanart#fanartist
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In the interest in asking literally anything but what you were asked previously, how about headcanons on voices, such as how Nadi sings, hums, or maybe even the spicier sounds?
Ahh, the shit and piss kink requests. Those were certainly interesting. However, if anyone's interested, @averyteenylesbian would be more than happy to write those headcanons ❤
Thank you for the thoughtful request, Anon! Enjoy!
Nadia voice headcanons
It is canon that Nadia "has a silky voice with impeccable vibrato." So, I imagine her with a deeper, feminine voice that's slightly raspy and sounds like the most pleasant thing to ever exist. It's smooth, comforting, and beautiful. Anyone could listen to Nadia's voice for hours or fall asleep within five minutes (not because she's boring, her voice is simply that gorgeous and comforting.)
She has a Prakran accent (Indian in the real world,) but it's probably not very heavy due to her education.
If I had to compare her voice to someone's, she would kinda sound like Priyanka Chopra? I can hear the slightest bit of Indian accent in her voice, so she would be perfect. But Nadia would also have the elegance of Emma Thompson's voice. The mixture of these two would sound just like Nadia. (@averyteenylesbian told me about Priyanka and Emma, so a big high five to her.)
Somehow, angry Nadia sounds both scary and sexy. As a dear friend once said, "Fear and horny aren't mutually exclusive." (Definitely wasn't said by @notaguyrai)
Her accent sounds heavier whenever she drops her royal composure a bit. Like, during sex or when she is angry.
Nadia was trained by the best tutors, which means that she sings like a literal goddess. Does this mean that she sings often or would ever perform a song in front of a larger audience? Probably not. She is a private person, but if MC asks nicely, she might sing for them.
Nadi singing a lullaby for MC while she helps them fall asleep ❤
She subconsciously hums while tinkering, sometimes when she's taking a walk in the Palace gardens, and while braiding someone's hair (MC's if possible.)
And as for the spicy sounds? While Nadia has some delicious moans, I think dirty talking is more her thing. She's very vocal like that.
Teasing her for too long makes her whimper (if MC is capable of turning the tables in the first place.)
She's not too loud, but her moans definitely let MC know when they're doing a good job.
#nadia satrinava#the arcana nadia#countess nadia#arcana nadia#nadia the arcana#nadia arcana#the arcana#arcana
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To the Arcana Fandom, From Brainrot
This is a confession, an apology, and a warning. To avoid needing a content warning, full details and evidence are in the document linked at the bottom.
From early May to July 21, I was part of the discord server that was responsible for the @asrabounding call out blog in April and for the series of call out posts against them in late July.
This discord server was made and run by someone who calls themself Rai (@notaguyrai, @volcanic-penis), who also said that they were in a relationship with Panda (@pandasanddragons, or @pandas-rambles, or @robbinredwood, or @snowleopard-ponderings). Rai and Panda (who may or may not be the same person) have an ongoing vendetta against @asrabounding that goes at least as far back as December of 2022.
We now know for a fact that Panda has been stalking @asrabounding since December of 2021 at the latest.
We now know that Rai's main goal with the discord server was to "recruit" people and "turn them against bounding" (to use their own words). There were well over 10 people that they fed horrendous lies about @asrabounding and @bondagebird to and manipulated through multiple tactics into doing dirty work for them with the end goal being to inflict as much pain as possible.
We now know that they personally engaged in behavior far worse than what the server knew about as well, including trying to doxx @asrabounding and @bondagebird.
The whole story, with evidence: (CW for suicide baiting & descriptions of a cult-like situation)
For my part in all of this, I sincerely apologize. Please be careful of this person, friends.
brainrot
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You could use Hiraya if you want, no pressure ✌🏾
Oh? Haven't you heard?
And so i shall @notaguyrai , thank you kindly.
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10 songs tag
Rules: You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, and then tag 10 people. No skipping!
1. Rewrite the Stats - Greatest Showman
2. Do it for her - Steven Universe
3. Feeling good - Michael Bublé
4. Would you be so kind - dodie
5. Play the game - Queen
6. Hellfire - The hunch back of Notredame (Annapantsu cover)
7. Meant to be yours - Heathers the musical
8. Teenagers - My Chemical Romance
9. My shot - Hamilton the musical
10. Deal Maker - TytoCat
Received from @homelesspersonchic
Tagging @arenathesia and @notaguyrai bc y'all are the only people I know on here 🥲
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Headcanons for characters Pt. 6: Nadia Satrinava, More Fluff
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's more Nadia fluff headcanons!
To tell you the truth I honestly wasn't planning on doing more than one type of fluff for one character, but due to the popular demand and my simping, we have some more fluff for this goddess!
Requests for headcanons as well as fanfics are open! I don't only do The Arcana, so you can request anyone you want, I'm taking all ideas!
Today's part will be MORE fluff headcanons for everyone's favorite countess Nadia Satrinava of Vesuvia, from a mobile game/visual novel "The Arcana"! Requested by @notaguyrai and anon!
Enjoy♡︎
♔︎Nadia Satrinava of Vesuvia♔︎ - More Fluff
- Nadia's love language is, amongst other things, acts of service. She loves spoiling you with things, so you don't have to worry your pretty head with being able to afford something, but she doesn't expect the same. All of her life she has done things for other people, as their countess, so logically she was surprised and flattered when you surprised her with a candle-lit dinner and a bunch of flowers. That was also the first time you have seen Nadia blush.
- The second Nadia found out what your favorite meal is, she immediately asked her chefs to teach her how to make it. Even though Nadia is the most graceful human you've ever seen, cooking is... Let's just say it's not her thing. So, the dish came out burnt and basically inedible, which she helplessly tried to apologise for:
"Oh, MC, sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I tried my hardest-"
She calmed down only when you sweetly kissed her lips and told her that it was alright.
- When the things got pretty serious with you and the countess of Vesuvia, she organised a ball and invited all residents of Vesuvia since she had something important to declare. You found it strange when she specifically asked you to come as her date, but of course, you didn't mind. On the day of the ball, Nadia sent a whole team of maids to dress you in the most finest clothes she bought specifically for the occasion, so you understood something important will occur. Once at the ball, when it was finally the time to announce something to the entire land, you girlfriend took you by the hand and introduced you to everyone as "her one and only"
- To be honest, Nadi doesn't get jealous easily. She knows you love her, and she fully trusts you, so why on earth would she ever be jealous? However... There are exceptions. For example, when somebody is being too touchy or just crossing the line in general. There was a particular gentleman on one of the charity balls who just didn't seem to get the hint and continued to touch you around the waist, oblivious to the fact that you are dating the countess. When Nadia saw the whole thing from across the ballroom, she quickly made her way over to you, hugged you from behind and kissed your neck, making sure to leave a mark of her lipstick. She brought her eyes to give the guy a dirty look, then looked at you and said:
"Hello precious. Is this man bothering you?"
Every time she pulls a stunt like this you always laugh and remember to tell her that your heart is only hers.
- Nadia might be easy to negotiate with when talking about politics, but it's a nightmare with her when getting out of bed in the morning. Before being with you, she used to leave her bedroom, dressed and ready, at 7AM sharp. But now? You practically have to beg her to let you from her embrace when you wanna get up in the morning. Every time you try to pull the covers and sit up, she presses you back down, kissing your shoulders and collarbone, asking you for five more minutes of cuddling.
- If somebody ever dared to look at you the wrong way let alone say something bad about you, Nadia would be pissed (in the most graceful way possible, of course). Some other royals were half-drunkenly joking about how you are just a commoner at one meeting, and how you don't deserve to be amongst them. Safe to say, she threw them out.
- You and Nadia sorta kinda never really asked one another to be in a relationship. It just happened. One day, when introducing you to some of her friends, she refered to you as "my partner", and when you looked at her in shock, she smiled wholeheartedly, giving you a kiss on the temple.
- Whenever doubting yourself or just having bad thoughts about any aspect of yourself, Nadia is always there to remind you that you are perfect, just the way you are. She will sit with you for hours listening to you rant about everything that's keeping you awake at night, and try to help in any way she can. When there's really nothing she can say to stop your bad thoughts, she takes one of your hands in hers and presses loving kisses on your fingertips, one by one, reminding you that you are her everything.
- This gorgeous woman will drop everything to help you and take care of you in any way she can when you're sick. Although, that is not the case when she's the one who's sick. She will insist on you not being close to her to not get you sick, and she wouldn't even consider you taking care of her, just because she doesn't want to keep you waiting from the other things you have to do. You don't listen to her stupid requests, however, as you always make her the best soup you know and brush her hair. She's always apologising because "Godness MC, darling, I hate that you have to see me all pale and weak like this!" And you just can't get her to realize there's nothing to apologise for.
- Asra, being Nadia's and yours good friend, often comes over to the palace to see how you are doing, and when he does, he gives you a little reading of your future. It just so accidentaly happens that every time in the "love" readings he does for you it says that you will marry the person you are with now, they are your soulmate etc. Nadia says nothing at this, she just continues smirking smugly as she sips her green-tea, knowing damn well that she will make you hers as soon you tell her you are ready.
--
That would be all for this one! Hope I didn't dissapoint the ones who requested, and thanks for reading! ♡︎
Requests for headcanons and fanfics are open, I'm accepting all ideas!
#the arcana#the arcana game#the arcana visual novel#headcanons#requests are open#writing requests#fluff#the arcana nadia#nadia x you#nadia x mc#nadia x apprentice#nadia x reader#nadia satrivana#nadia satrinava#requested#reqs open#nadia could step on me anytime she wants#at this point everyone is simping
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