vintage rainbow louis

❤️ ranking all autonomic flags of spain ❤️

my expert opinion on all of the flags of spain. sometimes i know what the symbols mean sometimes i don’t — do not expect an informed opinion is the general rule. i will not look a single thing up. anyway here we go

andalusia

starting off strong i have to admit that putting semi naked twink hercules with pet lions front and center on your flag is a power move and i am unfortunately a sucker for pillars of hercules symbolism. i think it’s as neat as nationalist imagery gets but you do get points off for mentioning spain in a positive light in the inscription. at least the first statement is andalusia first and the font is charmingly outdated (vintage 1930s) so it ALL gets a pass — also medium dark green is an interesting & original color for your flag, looks harmonious with the white and small amounts of yellow, good job andalusia. not a very original (at all) three horizontal line format but still 9/10

aragon

sigh. if only catalonia hadn’t nicked the flag that is rightfully yours.…. you are reduced to having to slap an ugly coat of arms on this fine heritage layout… 😢 is the bottom left quarter like, sardinia? if so it’s nice that they’re reminiscing about their old possessions. wish i knew what the other quarters are but it doesn’t change them being kinda ugly unfortunately. what’s up with the cross springing from the tree? anyway the first of the four crown of aragon flags gets only a 5/10 even though it pains my heart.

asturias

yeah this is sick unfortunately. 10/10.

balearic islands

our second crown of aragon flag is one that confuses me a lot. the white castle on a purple field has always been the traditional arms of… valencia. i get that we’re neighbors but why is it on the baleares flag now (as i said i am not looking this up). suspicious. highway robbery aside this flag kinda slaps (but i am so, so biased towards all of the four red stripes flags you won’t even believe it) and we always like to see rare purple in flags. 8/10

canary islands

white blue and yellow has to be one of the most visually pleasant, underutilized flag color combos ever and i applaud canarias for this utterly charming flag. it knows what’s important (OCEANO) and it also has- check this out- dogs rampant. is this a reference to can / perro => canarias? no fucking clue. anyway 9/10

cantabria

im gonna be honest i hadn't seen this flag in my life. there are two parts to this flag: the two stripes (1) and the coat of arms (2). (1) has to be the most boring layout for a flag ever (like seriously horizontal half white half red??? hi poland monaco indonesia whatever) and (2) is seriously one of the ugliest coats of arms ive ever seen. it kinda screams graphic design is my passion. i like the emphasis on being an important harbor (tower and the chain in the sea) and the uhh. circular rune thing but with them all being thrown together in an elementary school-looking drawing with floating heads and everything it’s just not very good. 2/10 only because there is worse in this country

castile - la mancha

on an intellectual level i know i should levy the same criticism against this flag as i did against cantabria on account of this also being a supremely unoriginal half red half white flag but on an emotional level. this looks cooler. it has an actual symmetric castle and the whole thing is minimalistic and powerful. go castile the new 8/10

castile and leon

this one is such a classic im so sorry, im so sorry im gonna be a basic bitch but i cant help it this is our stereotypical medieval flag for a reason. you can just visualize this thing on columbus’ standard as he plants it on hispaniola in a bad illustration from a francoist children’s book. castles and lions rampant in a simple symmetrical layout and you know what, yeah, peak flag. it is my impression that some leonese don’t appreciate being shoved into this castile thing with them having been their own kingdom for way longer but what do i know. anyway go castile the old 9/10

catalonia

why is this their flag again. why do they get the og crown of aragon flag without any add-ons. is it because they got to choose first?? the flag itself is a 10/10 but this gets 6/10 out of spite.

ceuta

it’s. it’s ugly. it attacks my senses and yet i respect them for going very hard while doing their own thing. interesting color scheme and layout. the stark black and white diagonals give me a bit of a headache if i look at this for too long but it’s true that you’ll never risk mixing up this flag with any other. also the portuguese coat of arms is a very nice touch as indeed this was a portuguese settlement that remained loyal to felipe iv after 1640. uwu. for being the most loyal, ceuta and its disconcerting flag get 6/10.

Hi Tommy

Part 3

Fury: I cannot believe the Avengers No. 1 unattainable criminal right now is a seventeen-year-old twink Clint: I can’t believe you’re calling Loki a twink Tony: I can’t believe he's been the legal godparent of kids his own age for months and I didn't realise Steve: You didn’t get him removed? I thought you made Rhodey their legal godparents instead?? Tony: nah I removed Thor Natasha: ?? why would anyone do that ?? Fury, having a breakdown: we nearly lost New York and the entire world to a 16-year-old twink with daddy issues Clint: yoU just did it aGAIN- Tony, the only actual Avenger who knows Loki isn’t actually evil™: heY! Daddy issues are a serious thing! Don’t make fun of the guy for having a crisis and finding out his life was a lie and he’d faced over a millennium of abusive environment for nothing!  Avengers: are you… defending Loki… the megalomaniac WAR CRIMINAL who turned every SHIELD facility into ice cream earlier today…? Tony, hands up in surrender: I’m saying maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge the guy. I wouldn't be able to guess what but maybe he had an ulterior reason for the New York fiasco? His normal stuff is usually harmless.  Avengers: ... Tony: What? It could’ve been much worse. Strange, rolling his eyes: Yes, at least it wasn’t Stark Raving Hazelnuts Loki, who has been standing at the back listening to the entire conversation: That flavour is way too chalky to suit SHIELD anyways [everyone turns to Loki with their weapons ready, except Tony of course] Loki, raising his hands in surrender: what? A Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge is way better, and its green, and for some reason they didn’t have a Loki flavour so that was the next best option-

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Loki: hey Morgan what would you say if i offered you an officially evil part-time job with decent pay and extremely good evil workplace benefits? Morgan: do you offer evil dental? Loki: of course?? we also have A-Grade coffee 24/7 because top class extremely good evil deserves only the best Morgan: Excellent! I look forward to working with your evil team and being a part of your nefarious schemes and plots in future Loki: Thank you. Tomorrow we replace all Tony's vehicles with incredibly realistic wax models. Morgan: ...including the jets? Loki, scoffing: what kind of amateur villains would we be if we left his jets, boats, bikes and single vintage helicopter untouched Tony: its 4am can you maybe not have this conversation right next to me in my own workshop?!

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Tony: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD REPLACE THEM WITH WAX MODELS Morgan: What kind of low-grade predictable villainous evil doers would we be if we did what we said we would Tony: oh $#!^ now you're speaking like him too Loki, cutting his shoulder to reveal cake: Just so you know, it wasn’t JUST the vehicles ;)

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Peter: *following loki around with a notepad* Loki: Terribly sorry if you mind but he's MY intern now. Tony: You don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing, do you? Loki: I don’t think anything I’ve ever done is wrong Peter:  *avidly taking notes and nodding along*

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T’challa: I cant believe you filed an application for ‘time off’ Shuri: I NEED at least 3 hours a week reserved specifically for training if I want to keep my part-time job T’challa: you don’t NEED a job! You make up 90% of Wakanda’s research and development departments! Your technology work IS a job! Shuri: yeah well my ACTUAL job is fun and has proper work benefits and I simply must empty the time blocks I specified for it! You wouldn’t stop me from meeting with Peter and Morgan would you? They ARE, legally and spiritually speaking, my siblings, brother :) T’challa: what job could you have that would need you reminding me that a mischief deity adopted you before telling me what the job actually is Shuri: The official position is called Secretary of Evil but that’s only for the probationary 2 week period and I’m allowed to request a name change if I think of anything better T’challa: T’challa: you are working as a SECRETARY?! Shuri: The job pays well, Brother, T'challa:  T'challa: mother will be so disappointed

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Scott: I can’t believe you did that Maggie: I didn’t know he was a supervillain! OBVIOUSLY! Scott: how would you noT KNOW! He wears nothing buT LEATHER and BELTS and GREEN BOOTS AND- Maggie: I needed someone to watch her and she showed up in pink sweatpants and a black tank top and was charging a decent rate Scott: Scott: are you sure their name was loki

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Clint: you told me it was a ‘family gathering’! Tony: yeah, it is, and the avengers are family Clint, pointing at Loki: so what’s the twink doing here and why are MY kids along with every other person here who is under drinking age clinging to him like a frickin’ koala bear Tony: morgan wanted to get her ‘the floor is lava’ badge and loki was the only one immune to the lava so they jumped him - and he enjoyed walking around covered in them way more than he should have -  and also loki is legally peter and morgan and harley and shuri’s godparent so he’s allowed to be here on more of a basis than anyone else here at this point Clint: There was LAVA near MY KIDS?! Tony: no of course not – it was FAKE lava that just looked and functioned like real lava Clint: im taking them all home Tony: good luck convincing them not to want another playdate Clint: this isn’t a joke Tony Tony: I’m serious. Good luck. The kids love him, and you’ll need all the luck you can get if you want them to ever root for the side of good instead of wherever-loki-is-at instead. 

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Pepper: *watching the news* Pepper: oh hey the Avengers are on Peter, running into the room: woW NICE Pepper: wtf why is Hulk wearing giant boxing gloves Peter: Language! Pepper: is Steve's shield padded?! Peter: i don’t remember that being normal Pepper: did most of the Avengers just ditch Steve? Why’re they leaving Peter: I guess the danger must be over? Pepper: WHAT is going ON out there today Peter: I think Loki had planned an attack today so maybe he did it as a joke Pepper: oh they're facing Loki yeah okay that explains it Peter: Loki always does the funniest things of course he baby-proofed all the Avenger's gear! Classic Loki! :D

-meanwhile-

Captain America, tears streaming down his face: pl,,ease, loki,, stop,t his, I cant hit ,,a child Loki: Look at you, the American icon, unable to save all these innocent people from having their skin turn into primary colours, all because you are TOO AFRAID to fight me! Captain America: I’m a national icon, not a good soldier but a good man, I will do whatever it takes to keep innocents safe, but I can NOT beat up someone who isn’t even legal enough to vote Loki: I was around causing chaos before this ‘voting’ was even invented! And I’ll NEVER legally vote even if I could!! mwahahAHAHA- Falcon, to Bucky in the background: How did we not realise he was a teen, all his comebacks are ‘no u’ and ‘uno reverse card’ and ‘look over there!’ Bucky, to Falcon: I don’t know but I really really want to know where he gets his outfits from Falcon: if it means I’ll be seeing you geared up in leather again then I want to know where he gets his outfits from too ;‘) Thor: I think my brother makes his own outfits Loki, still tormenting Captain America: *SISTER Thor: ah, my bad Captain America, crying x2: wait does this mean I’ve been lobbing my shield at not just a child, but I’ve been misgendering them while doing it?! Loki: only occasionally and I don’t blame you that was on me for monologuing too long, really— Captain America, taking off the helmet: nope I’m done Loki: what are you doing Steve, handing Sam the shield: It’s yours. Enjoy. Sam: woah woah woah what’re you doing you cant retire just like that  Steve, unzipping his suit to reveal American flag boxers: watch me Bucky to Sam: hello new best friend Sam, realising that Cap and Bucky are a duo: oh no no no STEVE is your best friend Bucky: he hasn’t been my ‘best friend’ since I saw him with the American flag splayed over his butt Loki, holding his hand out for Sam to shake: Hello there new Captain America its nice to meet you formally, my name is Loki and yes I’m a child but I’m actually 1075 but that is irrelevant if I’m causing trouble and looking for a fight, I’m also genderfluid so yes sometimes my pronouns will be different but I’ll be sure to inform you if it happens Sam: what are you doing Loki: I’m… formally introducing myself Sam: Sam: why?? Loki, blinking to hide that he’s getting teary eyed: well, the last national icon I didn’t do this with ditched me because I didn’t Bucky, a trained assassin, who isn’t a fool: *hugs loki* that wasn’t your fault steve just likes to carry the stupid with him Loki: thanks Bucky: is this a bad time to ask where you get your clothes from…? Loki: I make them Bucky: oh. Well $#!^. Loki, sniffing: if you join the dark side I’ll make you some too Bucky, immediately: done. Sam: JAmES Bucky deadpan: Yes, Samuel, what is it that troubles you, my new arch nemesis? 

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Sam: HE TOOK BUCKY Natasha: What do you mean ‘he took bucky’ he’s standing right next to you Sam: He’s “infiltrating the enemy” Natasha: *lifts an eyebrow and looks to Bucky* Bucky: It’s true. My loyalties lie elsewhere now. Natasha: ??? Bucky: note to self – unexpected outcomes confuse the black widow. Natasha: how did this happen?? Sam: he SOLD himself out to the ENEMY Natasha: well when you say it like THAT ;) — Bucky: I think friendship is a decent price to pay for decent clothing Natasha: ??? Sam: oh also I’m Captain America now because Steve broke down and quit Natasha: ?!?!?!

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Peter, entering the room and high-fiving Loki: I heard you got Mr. Bucky to switch teams! Loki: well, my fashion skills ARE legendary Tony, under his breath: he’s not even trying and he’s gotten every kid and the freaking winter soldier on his side and I am so so grateful he isn’t actually TRYING to make everyone go bad

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Bucky: we’ve been over this Steve, Loki is young but he’s also over a thousand years old Steve: I was beating up a KID, Bucky, a kid who was SMALLER and WEAKER than everyone else where he lived but wouldn’t EVER turn down a FIGHT for what he BELIEVES IN and he was probably BULLIED and I wanted the guy DEAD, Bucky– Bucky: don’t forget the genderfluidity thing Steve: he said it wasn’t my fault but I should’ve asked Thor after he referred to Loki as ‘she’ instead of thinking he’d made a mistake and I just can’t – he isn’t even old enough to DRIVE or VOTE or DRINK or BUY A KNIFE or -- Bucky, holding Steve and patting his back: hey now, there, there, it’ll be okay, Bucky: *gives Loki a thumbs up as he sits on the couch with popcorn and watches Steve be miserable*

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Loki: We need to get through this locked door. Tony, quick, give me your card! Tony, handing the card over: Take it! Loki, pocketing it: Thanks! Morgan, fire at the door Morgan: *pulls out an iron man gauntlet painted green and gold* Tony: hOW COULD you deface YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT with GREEN Morgan: MINE is still being used as a paperweight. This is one of YOUR gauntlets.   Tony, under his breath: maybe it’s not too late to burn the physical evidence and hack Loki’s name off the digital copies of the adoption forms Loki, whispering back: oh its definitely too late. I’m already on your christmas card and everything.

IMAGINE: LOKI BEING IN PETER'S HIGH SCHOOL

(Y'all already fucking KNOW my bitch is probably some eighteen year old grungy hoe) (also au where they all have powers but they're not superheroes lol)

Peter probably having a crush on Loki at first because Loki is just super attractive and Peter is hella pan.

Loki obviously knowing about it and feeling uncomfortable around the boy because he usually justs tells them they're not good enough but the thing is, Peter is good enough, he's not his type and Loki doesn't wanna hurt such a pure cutie.

So basically he gets his sugar daddy (the grandmaster) to show up at school and kiss his cheek while passing him his allowance

Peter is obviously very confused why the actually flippity fucknuts is an old man dressed in gold showing up at his school while kissing and giving his crush money.

During lunch he asks Loki who that is and somehow that leads onto the conversation of how Loki landed up in Sakaar and got himself an alien sugar daddy

Because Peter is just that innocent he tells Tony what Loki taught him and Tony is irondad so he totally tells his spiderson to stay away from Loki

Peter's crush eventually turning into admiration

As mentioned before, Peter is hella pan and likes Liz at the same time.

He is honestly really shook that Loki is so fucking confident, like what

Loki is genderfluid okAY?? so sometimes he shows up to class as a female (once again he attractS EVERYONE) sometimes a snake and sometimes doesn't even show up

Loki going to history class and them talking about Norse history and bitch is like, "I'll tell you how that actually happened." And the teacher gives him the side eye.

He probably sucks his principal's dick so he won't get expelled and for fun

Flash actually trying to befriend Loki but you know he isnt here for some hoe ass douche.

Loki feeling like it's necessary to show to school in a limo

Parties at his house? No, thats not wILD ENOUGH FOR MY GREASY WEASEL TWINK. During the night he holds parties in the school and the teachers know but they don't have evidence!

Occassionally Thor is there to pick him up, but with Hela as well. Loki is that younger sibling and lmao this trio is serving all the looks

Loki totally being a saint and making sure Peter doesn't get bullied.

Why? Because Thor nags at him about it because Tony nags at Thor to nag at Loki.

Loki eventually becoming really good friends with Peter

Loki having a very soft vintage grunge aesthetic and dragging Peter shopping

Shopping is honestly awesome because if Loki wanted to, he could buy up the whole mall

Peter showing Loki the joys of being uh, not rich, and Loki judging everyone's fashion style

Loki being part of the drama club

He rocks btw

Peter's at his every play

The whole fucking school going to Loki's house and being amazed.

But the party's only to frame a murder on someone because Loki got a little handsy with En's melty stick

Brunnhilde (Valkyrie) working in the bar where Loki shows up to get beer to spike the punch during prom

Prom - bitch you best believe Loki spiked the punch, brought his sugar daddy along, and got a strip pole!

Fem! Loki being on her period and being even more emotionally unstable and sobbing about his daddy issues

Peter being there for him

Bring your pet to school day, Loki shows up as a snake and his clone introduces, "Hi I'm Loki and this is my pet, which is also me, Loki!"