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thewritewolf · 3 years

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Mari Christmas And A Happy New Adrien

Summary:

Lost in the aftermath of Hawkmoth's defeat, Adrien loses complete track of time and before he knows it, the holiday season is upon him. Will a Christmas visit to his girlfriend's house be just what he needs to move on?

Hello and welcome to my piece for the @mlsecretsanta event! My giftee, @lesslinette, asked for among other things, Adrienette, family bonding, fluff and just a bit of hurt/comfort and I aimed to please!

I had to do a good amount of research into French and Chinese Christmas traditions (including interviewing my long-suffering French friend - thanks @emsylcatac!), so hopefully I didn't get anything *too* wrong.

Read on Ao3

Enjoy!

Marinette 💖: You still up?

Adrien: Yeah Still not sleeping great House was always too quiet Never thought it could get more quiet tho lol Whats up?

Marinette 💖: :( Just wondering what u were doing 4 xmas Since You know

Adrien: Since father went to jail and mom died again? Haven’t thought about it Guess ive still got time to figure it out

Marinette 💖: … ..Its the 23rd of Dec Like 2am Not a lot of time left

Adrien: oh Guess uh Stay at home?

Marinette 💖: Adrien Its been like two months Youve been going crazy in there Youll just be stuck in there all by yourself Why don’t you come over?

Adrien: I don’t know… I don’t want to bring anyone down Or ruin anyone’s christmas

Marinette 💖: Adrien ‘Kindest Boy in Paris’ Agreste

Adrien: Oh no she used my middle name

Marinette 💖: You are coming over tomorrow And letting me pamper you And letting my family - your REAL family - love you And that is the end of that ...Is that okay with you?

Adrien: Whatever you say ma’am

Marinette 💖: Good Be here no later than fifteen hundred Let me know if I need to pick you up

Adrien: Will do

Adrien laid back down, his face lit up only by the glow of his phone and the only noise in the room being Plagg’s snoring. Putting his phone to sleep, he turned over, closed his eyes, and honestly smiled for what felt like the first time in a long time.

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Adrien reached the door to his girlfriend’s house with a gift under one arm, an envelope in his pocket, and a weak smile on his face. The latter wasn’t because of a lack of feeling on his part - the exact opposite, actually.

It had been hard to go to sleep after their conversation that night, a swirl of mixed emotions keeping him from getting the rest that he craved. Last night wasn’t much better and he was left exhausted. He’d even been half tempted to call and say that he couldn’t make it, but somehow that only made him feel worse.

So here he was. He’d shambled his way to the car, driven himself there through blurry eyes and frequent yawns, and turned the doorknob. Maybe they’d understand if he just dropped off the present and headed home.

Well, maybe not home, but just where he lived.

The instant the door opened, a wave of hot air buffeted him. Not only did it warm his freezing face, it brought all sorts of wonderful smells on it. There were the expected scents - baked potatoes, salmon, chicken. But then was something else, something a little harder to place.

After puzzling over it for a moment, he shook his head and stepped into the house. No sooner had he closed the door behind him than he heard some voices calling out from deeper inside.

“Wait, was that the door? The family wasn’t supposed to be over until tomorrow, weren’t they?”

“Tom, that has to be Adrien!”

There was excitement in Sabine’s voice that warmed his heart, but not quite as much as when he’d taken a couple steps into the house and was blindsided by Marinette bursting out of the living room to wrap him in a hug.

“Worried I might not show?” Adrien whispered after they parted from their kiss.

“Not even for a moment, chaton.” She smiled up at him before her eyes wandered down to his arms, a suspicious look on her face when she saw the one present. “Looks like you showed some restraint this year.”

“Of course!” At her continued doubting look, he added. “Come on, I’m perfectly capable of giving reasonable gifts.”

“Last year you tried to give me my favorite restaurant.”

“But I didn’t!”

“Only because I hid your checkbook and credit cards!”

Adrien snorted. “Details.”

Rolling her eyes, Marinette tugged on his coat sleeve. “Follow me, you ridiculous man. You can put your gifts under the tree, we’ll open them tomorrow.”

She led him into the living room, where their Christmas tree had been set up in all its glory. There were red paper chains wrapped all around it and a huge variety of homemade ornaments - including a few that he’d made in years past. Ever since he and Marinette had started dating, he’d been welcomed into their household with open arms. And even before that, they’d been nothing but kind to him.

His eyes poured over the tree, looking for one specific ornament. It didn’t take him long to find it - with its poor quality, it stood out among the beautiful glass orbs and painted baubles. His fingers brushed over the patches of glitter, a nostalgic smile spreading across his face as he took in the patterns of melted wax inside it. His first ornament. They’d barely been dating a few months when he’d made that one.

Had it really been four years already?

Arms wrapped around him from the side and he looked down at Marinette’s chin resting on his shoulder, peering up at him with big blue eyes.

“What’re you thinking about, hot stuff?”

“Old memories, that’s all.”

“Hmm…” She leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. “You just about ready to make some new ones?”

“With you? Always.”

“You two want to come in and help us finish cooking dinner?” They both jumped when Sabine’s voice reached them.

Blushing, Marinette reluctantly let Adrien go and headed toward the kitchen. “Coming, maman!”

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A few hours later and the four of them were seated around the dining room table. Some things had been moved around from what Adrien remembered from the usual arrangement, and a long table had been set up. Most of the spaces were empty - with the four of them, only about a third of the table was occupied. But while the chairs were mostly left bare, the table was not.

Even though he had helped make some of it, Adrien was still amazed at how good the food all looked when laid out on the table like this.

Most of it was pretty traditional, at least from what he knew. A lot of the time his experience with Christmas dinners were meals allowed to grow cold until he gave up on his father showing. But the roasted chicken was still steaming when they cut into it, the smoked salmon and toast still holding the heat of the oven on them. Add in the gratin dauphinois and this was just about the ideal Christmas dinner he could imagine.

Naturally, it got even better with Sabine’s contribution - spring rolls.

As Adrien shoveled them onto his plate, he asked Sabine, “Is this the only Chinese dish for today, maman?”

“Just you wait, dear.” She smiled over her plate. “Today was Tom’s turn to make dinner. Tomorrow will be mine and you’ll definitely have your fill then.”

“I can’t wait!” Adrien took some of the chestnut sauce to pour over his chicken. Which reminded him… He glanced nervously toward the oven. “I don’t suppose you made foie gras, did you?”

Marinette made a face and shivered.

Tom quickly shook his head. “Oh no, son. Back when Marinette was… what? Eight, nine? She found out how it was made and made us promise to never have it again.”

“Eleven years later and we haven’t broken that promise yet,” Sabine finished. “There are plenty of other foods in the world.”

“That’s good.” Adrien breathed a sigh of relief. “It always made me uncomfortable when my father ordered it.”

“Ordered, dear?” Sabine gave him a confused look.

“Oh, we never really cooked our own dinners.”

Tom’s jaw dropped. “Not even Christmas dinner?”

“Nope. Sometimes he’d have to order the dinner prepared the day before and then we’d reheat it the day of, since no one wanted to come into work on Christmas day, you know?”

“I see…” Tom shared a look with Sabine, but the meaning was lost on Adrien. “Well, you make sure you have your fill, son! We’ll be making more for tomorrow, so this is all for us.”

“Thanks,” Adrien said with a grateful smile.

The conversation meandered and for the most part Adrien was just content to listen in, drinking in the company after spending so much of his time recently just by himself. Well, mostly by himself. Marinette would visit whenever she could get the time between college classes and internships. Nino and Alya were more elusive, if only because they were outside the city so often these days.

But there was one person who was his constant companion, Adrien thought with a smile as he peeked into the breast pocket of his T-shirt…

...Only to see that it was empty. Maybe he’d gone to visit Tikki and the kwamis of the miracle box? Adrien was drawn out of his thoughts when Sabine directed a question at him.

“Are you ready for the pre-dessert snacks, dear?”

“Oh! Sure, yeah. What do you have?”

“You’ll love it!” Tom excitedly got up and hustled over to the kitchen, Sabine right behind him. He raised his voice to be heard as he went to the room next door. “We know how much you love camembert so…”

Adrien’s eyes widened. They didn’t…

Tom returned with a platter of cheeses in his hands and a frown on his lips.

“Something wrong, papa?” Marinette’s eyes glanced between Tom and the cheese platter.

“No, no… its just… I could have sworn I bought more cheese than this. And I was so sure that I had purchased camembert.” He rubbed his chin. “Ah well, there is more than enough for the three of us anyway.”

While Sabine set down a large bowl of salad in the middle of the table, Adrien glanced at Marinette. At his side, Marinette was biting her lips and pointedly staring into the middle distance, trying her hardest not to laugh. For his part, Adrien was frustrated that he couldn’t go anywhere without Plagg making a noticeable dent in the food supply.

His annoyance with Plagg was so great he almost didn’t enjoy the Yule Log that Tom had made for dessert. Almost, but not quite.

Once they were done with dinner, they cleared the table.

“So, how’d you like the meal?” Marinette asked as she dried off the dishes while Adrien washed them.

“Definitely better hot. And homemade.”

Marinette chuckled. “I’m glad the bar was so high for us. Really makes us feel like we accomplished something here.”

“How about…” Adrien bit down on his lips and narrowed his eyes in thought. “It was the most delicious meal I’ve had in months.”

“Ooo, now we’re getting somewhere.”

“Years even.”

“Good, good, go on.”

“I had never known food could taste so delicious until you graced me with your heavenly meals.”

Marinette’s eyes gleamed with restrained laughter, the hint of a barely contained smile ruining her deadpan. “Glad I could finally weasel how you really feel out of you.”

“Yeah you’re pretty good at that, aren’t you?” Hands still in the sink’s soapy water, he leaned over and planted a kiss on her forehead.

“No fooling around now, we still have to help put up the last decorations before we relax for the night.”

“What sort of decorations?”

“Paper lanterns and paper chains. That sort of thing.” At Adrien’s politely confused look, she added, “It’ll help make mom’s side of the family feel welcome. Plus they look pretty cool.”

“Well what are we waiting for then? Let’s kick this into overdrive!”

Adrien suddenly worked in a flurry, Marinette scream laughing as she got splashed with some of the water thrown up by his breakneck pace. Marinette could barely keep up between her giggling, but she somehow managed.

With the last fork, plate, and glass sparkling clean and put away, Marinette shook her head and dabbed at her slightly damp shirt with a fresh towel.

“You’re a dork, you know that?”

“So my girlfriend tells me.”

Adrien relished the sometimes quiet, sometimes loud evening he spent with the Dupain-Chengs. When he went upstairs and cuddled Marinette in the cozy darkness, Adrien felt only excitement for the next day

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Morning came swiftly, but Adrien rose to meet the dawn’s first light with a smile on his lips and a spring in his step. Marinette was… a little less eager, but he managed to coax her out of the bed, eventually.

When they finally got down the stairs and made it to the kitchen, Sabine’s eyes widened and she even froze in the middle of folding one of her dumplings.

“Marinette? I’m surprised to see you up so early.”

Bleary eyed, her daughter simply jabbed a finger toward Adrien and grunted. Adrien rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled.

“I knew you’d be a good influence on her, sweetie.” Sabine patted his cheek with a warm smile. “Now, once you’ve had some breakfast I’d really appreciate some help out here. From you especially, Marinette, since you know exactly how to do it the way I like it.”

“Can’t Tom help?” Adrien made some toast for him and Marinette, doing his best to stay out of Sabine’s way. “Not that I’m not willing to lend a hand, but he’s got to be pretty good at it after all this time, right?”

Sabine laughed and even Marinette cracked a smile. “You’d think so, but no. The man can make almost any dessert known to French mankind, but I’ve yet to see him finish one spring roll or dumpling in all our years of marriage. Just about the only thing I’m trusting him with today is the roasted pork.”

“Not even the cheese plate?” Adrien asked, tongue in cheek. To his surprise, Sabine shook her head gravely.

“We don’t make one for Christmas day. After all, everyone that is going to be here is from my side of the family and we’re all lactose intolerant.”

“Oh.” Adrien glanced at Marinette, who shrugged.

“I got lucky and got papa’s tolerance for it, I guess.”

“Huh… well, can I help?”

A few hours passed, most of which Adrien spent doing vital but unskilled cooking like stirring and kneading. Although they did let him try to fold a few dumplings. It ended up nowhere near as well done as Marinette’s, but she still gave him a kiss on the cheek for the good effort. From what he gathered, Tom had never even managed to get it to stay together.

They had just put the last batch in the oven when they heard a knock at the door, Sabine quickly taking off her apron as she rushed to answer it.

Adrien’s ears perked up when he heard a conversation in Chinese start up, but between him being a little rusty and them speaking so fast, he couldn’t pick out much.

A few moments later, Sabine walked back into the room with an older Chinese couple. Marinette pulled him towards them. Sabine put a hand on Adrien’s shoulder and introduced them.

“Adrien, these are my parents. My mother, Ling,” she said, gesturing towards the grey-haired woman currently hugging Marinette. “And my father, Zheng.”

The older man’s grey eyes sparkled with excitement as he held out a red envelope for Adrien, who just now noticed that Marinette had also been given one. He froze, eyes widening. Was he supposed to have gotten them something too? He hadn’t realized that anyone would be getting him anything, except maybe Marinette. There was a moment where he was about to decline but he took a shot in the dark and accepted.

The moment his hand touched the envelope, Zheng spoke in Mandarin, “Best wishes for the New Year!”

“Thank you very much!” Adrien replied automatically in the same language. While the finer points might escape him, Adrien was fluent in niceties.

Zheng’s eyes widened before he nodded sagely to himself. “Ahh, I see you’ve picked up some Mandarin from my daughter, yes?”

“Oh, no, sir. I’ve been studying since I was fourteen.”

Once again, Zheng’s eyes widened before he chuckled and looked knowingly at Marinette. “This one is definitely a keeper! I approve.”

Marinette’s cheeks were almost as red as the envelope, but she still smiled.

The bright, enticing red of the envelope made him want nothing more than to open it right then and there. But Adrien took a nod from Marinette, who had very pointedly left it sealed even as she refused to set it down. He chose to follow her lead as they all made their way to the living room.

While the Dupain-Cheng parents and the Cheng parents were getting settled there, Marinette volunteered them to go make some tea. Once they were in the kitchen and out of earshot of the new arrivals, Adrien held up his envelope with a raised eyebrow and curious look.

“You can go ahead and look at it now, it’s just not polite to do it right when you get it.” She carefully unsealed the envelope. “It's this Chinese tradition - good luck money for the new year, you know?”

Adrien followed her lead and found one ten, one twenty, and one fifty euro note inside. Glancing over, it seemed Marinette got the same. He was half tempted to just give her his euros since he didn’t have any need for it, but decided that might be tacky. If she would even take them at all. After stashing the envelopes away in a kitchen drawer, they came back with tea for everyone.

Over the next few hours, more and more family members funneled into the house. Adrien, used to seeing maybe four people during the holiday season, thought the room would be close to bursting after the first aunt arrived with husband and two kids in tow. But then came the uncle and his family, then the second aunt with her boyfriend and by the end of it fifteen people were packed into the living room. For some reason apples in boxes became involved? Adrien thought that was a pun but that was more his pun sense than his linguistic skill.

Before anyone could get too settled in, they finally got to opening presents. Despite his fears from the red envelope, no one else seemed to have gotten Adrien anything.

At least, none of the extended family had. The Dupain-Cheng family, however…

“Here you go, dear.” While the rest of the room was chattering among themselves, Sabine placed a package about as big as a shoebox on Adrien’s lap. Before he could react to it, Marinette had shoved a bag stuffed with packing paper.

“Let me go get your-”

Adrien felt a tug on his arm and looked down at Marinette seated beside him. “Open your gifts first and then we’ll open the ones you got us.”

“Okay, okay.” Adrien looked at the box on his lap and tore it open. He tilted his head in confusion as he lifted the fabric that he found there out of the box. His eyes widened when he realized it was an apron with ‘Kiss the Chef’ on it.

“Its for when you come over to cook with us!” Tom beamed down at him proudly. “Now you don’t need to borrow our aprons any more - you’ll have one of your very own!”

Adrien felt his eyes get misty and he bit his lips to keep himself from crying. After a few moments of pulling himself together, he managed to say, “Thank you, guys. I’m really looking forward to wearing it!”

“Speaking of…” Marinette prodded the bag she left with him.

“Right, right.”

Adrien removed the paper and pulled out what turned out to be a sweater, cream colored and decorated with mistletoes and black cats in red scarves. It felt amazingly soft as he slipped it on over his head, embraced in a warm hug that - he lifted the fabric to his nose and took a deep breath - yes, smelled exactly like Marinette. For now at least.

“Do you like it?” Instead of replying, Adrien wrapped his arms around Marinette and pulled her close to him, nuzzling his nose against her neck. Giggling, she smacked his arms lightly. “I’ll take that as a yes, now let go!”

After he pulled his arms back, he stood up and stepped between the Cheng family members and made it to the tree before heading back to the little corner of the living room that they had claimed. He passed the envelope to Tom and the box to Marinette.

“A… gift card for an appliance store?” Tom said, his brow furrowing.

“I wanted to get you an actual new stove because you’re always upset at it,” Adrien explained in a rush, feeling embarrassed that his gift felt so… impersonal compared to theirs. “But when I went to the store I had no idea what actually made a good stove and searching it up on the internet only made it more confusing and… yeah,” he finished lamely.”

He glanced up at them and felt better to see them smiling back.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Adrien! Thank you, we’ll make good use of this.”

Beside him, Marinette began opening her gift, which Adrien was much more excited for. Not because he had spent any less for it, but because that at least he knew exactly what to get.

He knew he’d done good when she gasped as she pulled out the expensive fabric she’d once stared at longingly from the otherside of a store’s window in Paris. Which, of course, meant that he was also expecting the smack on his arm from her as well.

“Adrien! This is expensive! You definitely shouldn’t have bought this.”

“Actually, you’ll remember that I get to spoil you exactly three times a year - birthdays, Valentine’s, and Christmas.” He gave her the most innocent look he could manage. “So you like it then?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You know I absolutely love it, you cat.”

“Then that’s great!” He continued with the overly chipper and oblivious tone, knowing how much it bugged her. He rubbed his hands together. “So… when’s dinner?”

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After a Christmas dinner packed with Chinese dishes, they slowly returned to the living room.

Adrien sat in a corner of the room, taking in the warm and inviting atmosphere, the excitement and energy of so many people gathered together in such a small space.

Holding Marinette close, Adrien felt like he was part of a real family for the first time in a long time.

#Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Adrienette #Love Square #Tom Dupain #Sabine Cheng #ml secret santa exchange #my writing #Mari Christmas and a Happy New Adrien

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coeurdastronaute · 3 years

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Essays in Existentialism: Christmas Day 34

previously on Christmas

Polo Xmas prompt: Lexa gets auctioned off as a date for charity to support a good cause. Clarke gets jealous and tries to bid on her but loses. Thanks!

“You’re late!”

“Not that late,” Clarke furrowed as she adjusted her dress slightly.

“Fashionably late,” Lexa offered after checking her watch. “Hardly noticeable.”

The annual Christmas Charity Gala illuminated the museum. The carpet was hidden beneath the white tents, protecting the visitors from the dazzling flurry of perfectly timed snow. Lights hung from every available eave, while brilliant Christmas trees glowed throughout the exhibits. The main hall was a sea of black ties and festive gowns, of fancy hair and cologne, of happy couples and wishes of merriment.

Immediately set upon by Raven as they walked past the cameras and coat check, there hadn’t been even a second to really take in the winter magic that existed for the benefit Marcus began with Abby’s help. It was the social event of the season, and Lexa considered her boss to have outdone himself more so than ever before, and she’d been to quite a few Kane parties in her time with him. Tables here were going for no less than $50,000. He was ready to set records, even in philanthropy.

As Clarke finished fidgeting, she met her friend’s eye. Lexa’s hand remained on her back and she felt the flush of the warmth of the building finally hit her cheeks. Nothing was noticeably out of place. She was reasonably put together.

“Seriously?” Raven groaned, shaking her head at the couple. “The limo?”

“What? No… what do you mean?”

Stoic and unbothered, Lexa squeezed Clarke’s arm subtly, tucking her other hand into her pocket. Raven was completely right, and she was almost slightly proud of the fact that it was almost apparent on her girlfriend’s face as to why they were late. She got a smug grin and surveyed the rest of the party.

“I’ll let Marcus know you’re here,” Raven rolled her eyes as she turned to walk away, only to pause and give them another look before departing.

For a moment, Clarke stood there and looked over her dress before looking over her girlfriend’s completely unrumpled tux and tie and hair.

“How did she know?”

“You tend to have a glow about you.”

“I do not,”Clarke disagreed. She found a reflective surface and checked her make up while Lexa found them glasses of champagne, snagged from a quickly moving waiter’s tray. “If anyone should have a glow it’s you,” she accused. “I’m damn good in a limo and you’re lucky to have me.”

“Oh, I know, princesa.”

“There’s no way she could know though. Not for certain.”

“She knows.”

“Shut up.”

With a calming gulp, Clarke held her glass and for the first time since arriving, surveyed the party as they walked through toward the main area in hopes of finding familiar faces.

“You weren’t saying that twenty minutes ago,” Lexa reminded her. “I believe your exact words were something about my outfit.”

There was a blush near her collar bones at the recent memory, but Clarke didn’t break this time, instead taking another sip of her drink.

“Do you like my dress?”

Lexa looked it over again, for well about the hundredth time and remained completely in love with how her girlfriend looked in it. She nodded as she took a drink herself.

“You know I think you look amazing in it.”

“Good. Then forget what just happened in the limo.”

“I could never.”

“It’s the smugness. It’s unattractive.”

“Is it though?” Lexa grinned.

They stood close as they found their table, pausing before Lexa pulled out the chair to offer to her girlfriend. She kissed Clarke’s cheek before taking her own seat as well, happy to be near her, happy to be at an even like this for the first time ever in her life. There’d been many times she’d been on the arm of someone, but never had she been so happy to have Clarke on her’s.

“You might want to hide that smugness, there, tiger,” Clarke offered, looking over her shoulder at the familiar form approaching.

“I don’t know if it’s possible. You do remember what I did to you in the--”

“Dad! Hey!”

Clarke rolled her eyes to see that the smugness didn’t leave Lexa, though she did stop talking, which was important. It was the season of giving, and Clarke was proud, too proud often, and she was not great at accepting, except with it came to Lexa. With Lexa, she took everything.

Lexa stood as quickly as she sat, careful to button her coat before grabbing Clarke’s chair for her to hug her father. She did everything in her power to stop thinking about the limo.

“Looks like this is the family table. Your mother was kind enough to put us all together after taking my very large check. How are you, Lexa?”

“Doing well, sir. Nice to see you.”

Gripping his hand, Lexa met his eyes and nodded. He smiled kindly, and he had Clarke’s eyes. It was disarming in a way.

“You look great, honey,” he kissed his daughter’s cheek. Once more, Lexa pulled out the chair.

“You clean up alright, too. Is Mom auctioning you, too?”

“She is, and here I thought the divorce was enough to get rid of me.”

Despite herself, Lexa smiled into her glass as the patriarch of one of the largest companies on the planet signaled for a drink as well. Clarke sighed audibly at her father’s jab.

“Clarke’s annoyed that I was volunteered,” Lexa offered, earning a nudge from an elbow.

“She never did share well,” he shrugged, chuckling at his daughter’s misfortune.

“There’s only one limo I plan on going home in tonight,” the polo player promised.

“Maybe you both will find true love tonight as you’re sold like slabs of meat on the auction block. I don’t understand why they can’t just do a silent auction.”

“Oh, she is a bit jealous, isn’t she?” Jake observed.

“I was just hoping to get her to take me to lunch more.”

“Are you going to bid on your girlfriend?”

“No. I get her for free. I’m not going to spend your money.”

“You can bid on your old man, if you want,” Jake explained. “I’d hate to get stuck at some lunch with some mad woman or man, plus it’d be nice to catch up.”

“You’re really not going to bid on me?” Lexa furrowed.

“You signed up to go on a date with a stranger, and so I’m going to oblige.”

“That’s not what I--”

“Okay, you two, let’s go,” Raven appeared, slightly out of breath. “Abby is running me ragged looking for the talent.”

“Now you’re making me sound like a pornstar.”

“If you go for a high enough price, who knows,” she retorted. “Come on.”

“Good luck,” Clarke offered as Lexa leaned down for a kiss. “I hope you go for higher than my dad. That’d be embarrassing.”

“Remember when I said you were beautiful in that dress?”

“Mhm.”

“I love you.”

“I know,” Clarke smiled. “I’ll see you after.”

XXXXXXXXXXX

Left to her own devices, Clarke finally took stock of the past hour of her life and ventured a moment to think of the next one. There was something magical about Lexa showing up in the limo, dressed to the nines, her hair perfect and tamed, or at least as much as it could be. It lived forever in her mind, that image of a dashing girl, adjusting her watch at the foot of the stairs, the look she got when Clarke walked down the steps.

She was smitten with the polo player. She was more smitten than she could ever remember being, and she didn’t want anyone else going to lunch with her girlfriend.

Exchanging pleasantries with the rest of her table before her friend returned, Clarke did everything she could to put the events of the limo out of her mind. There was something about how sexy Lexa was, and how her hands were always everywhere, and her lips were always so warm. It was alarming to want someone so much. It was new for Clarke.

Beneath the small tree in her apartment, there were little gifts, already wrapped and ready for Lexa. There were plans, already, for that morning.

“There is going to be a feeding frenzy over your dad and girlfriend.”

“How’s he doing backstage? He hates attention.”

“I might bid on him myself, honestly.”

“Did he say he’d bank roll you to get him out of it?”

“Even if he did, I’d hold him to a date.”

“Ew on so many levels,” Clarke laughed.

“Him and Lexa are actually gossiping about watches and junk. They’re kind of adorable together. You might have to bring her around more,” Raven explained as she grabbed another glass of champagne.

“I don’t know if I’m more afraid of them getting along or not getting along.”

XXXXXXXXXX

“Next up, we have perhaps the most eligible bachelor in all of New York City. You know him as the CEo of Griffin, and I know him as the father of my child, I give you, Jake Griffin.”

Abby applauded as the CEO sheepishly made his way out onto the catwalk toward the stand.

“Jake loves Italian food and Westerns. He’s run the NYC marathon five out of the last seven years and practices kickboxing with his daughter at least once a week. A proud alumni of Columbia, he’s become an affiliate professor teaching business classes part time at the community college.”

On the stage, Clarke’s father waved and put his other hand in his pocket.

“Bidding will start at five thousand for a wonderful lunch date while you tour the city from the water on his private yacht.”

“Five right here!” Raven yelled, lifting her paddle quickly.

“Stop!” Clarke rolled her eyes.

The bidding went higher and higher as Jake gave his daughter a confused glance. She just gave him a thumbs up and laughed at the entire thing.

“Remember, ‘tis the season, everyone,” Abby added. “We have fifty-five going once, going twice, and sold!”

Surprised as he was, Jake nodded and smiled toward the crowds. He offered a quick wave before retreating to the safety of the backstage.

“Next up, we have someone who needs no introduction, though I am going to give her one anyway.”

Unlike her predecessor, Lexa came out, prepared for the season, clad in a bright red Santa hat and sporting a very mischievous smile.

“The championship polo player and current model for Patek Philippe, Calvin Kline, and Ralph Lauren is fluent in four languages and enjoys spending the day snuggled up with a good book, something she’s done a lot of with a Masters in Latin American Literature.”

In a similar movement, Lexa waved toward the crowd and shoved a hand in her pocket, however she knew how to work a crowd and walk a runway, much to her girlfriend's faux chagrin. Lexa knew Clarke wasn’t one to get jealous, but she appreciated the display. She appreciated feeling wanted and protected, as if somehow the girl in the green and red gown would fight anyone who bid.

“Lexa Woods is an accomplished athlete. She’s an Olympian for her native Argentina, enjoys a hearty red wine, and spending time with her ponies. We’ll start the bidding at ten thousand.”

“Fifty thousand,” Clarke called out after a few people lifted their paddles.

It grew a little quieter for a moment.

“Sixty!” a voice rang out from another table, though Clarke couldn’t see where it was coming from exactly in the hubbub of the large hall.

“Seventy,” another joined, the crowd getting into it.

“Eighty!” Clarke interjected, earning a look from her mother.

“Ninety.”

“One hundred.”

Clarke lowered her paddle and rolled her eyes.

All said and done, Lexa went for a record $183,000 and Clarke found herself somewhat proud of that number, just as Lexa looked floored by the final result before escaping backstage as well. But it was for charity, and Clarke was relieved to see that the winning bid was to an older woman.

XXXXXXXXXX

“I’m sorry I didn’t keep bidding on you,” Clarke mumbled as she plopped down onto the bed in the hotel room. “I would have easily spent a million dollars on you.”

“That’s kind, but I’m glad you didn’t,” Lexa smiled to herself.

Carefully, she folded her coat and laid it over the chair in the corner before she sat down and began removing her shoes. The light from the hallway streamed in, casting one long line across the livingroom and bedroom, but Clarke didn’t move at all, just spread her arms wide and stared at the ceiling, full of too much mirth and spirits.

“Are you going to take that dress off for bed? It doesn’t look too comfortable to sleep in.”

“Take it off for me.”

“Hopefully my lunch date will stay a little more sober than you.”

“I doubt it. I know Mrs. Winston and she’s about as dry as a… as a wet mop.”

Lexa shook her head and went about the task of undressing her girlfriend, grateful to have made use of their time together before the event. She knelt at the edge of the bed and began with the shoes, gingerly unstrapping them and slipping feet from them.

“I would have bid on you more.”

“I know. I wouldn’t have stopped if it were you.”

“Afraid I’d run off with some hedge fund manager?”

“Terribly afraid of that.”

“Nah,” Clarke murmured, lulling her drunken head to the side slightly. “Not with how good you look in a tuxedo. Holy fuck.”

“And I couldn’t care about a stupid lunch when you look like the most wonderful present waiting to be unwrapped,” Lexa promised.

“I’m drunk but I think you should come up here and kiss me right now.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” Leca shrugged before eagerly agreeing.

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woogurl · 4 years

Text

The peculiar case of woosanhwa.

DISCLAIMER: i am not a professional at reading body language, just putting out my observations.

now, i’ve been thinking about their relationship for a while now and i think most people would agree with me when i say these three are particularly close to one another. more so than the other members, i’ve noticed in vlives that these three communicate the most with each other.

there’s no doubt in my mind that they have a deep and genuine bond. but do i think the relationship between these three go deeper than brotherly love.

no, i don’t think so, mostly because as i’ve said before. i don’t think seonghwa is bisexual or gay. this is just something i’ve determined from seeing his interactions with woosan. now if you think seongjoong is entirely different and proves that he is that’s fine. but i’ve never watched a compilation of seongjoong. this is just what i’ve determined from watching woosanhwa. this says a lot because ateez is probably one of the few groups that give me massive gay/bi vibes.

let’s talk about his relationship with woosan.

let’s start with woo.

now, i’ve said it before, but i’m so sure that woo is or was physically attracted to seonghwa, but it is obvious seonghwa doesn’t have mutual feelings. anytime woo does something like attempt to kiss seonghwa he’s just like “please don’t” at times it looks like he’s barely putting up a fight, but i don’t think he does this because he secretly enjoys it. i just think seonghwa is a man with a lot of patience and i mean a lot. like sheesh. any man would probably punch tf out of someone crushing his balls but seonghwa sat there and took it(woo’s such a brat, lol).

poor baby, anyway, it’s obvious that woo is attracted to him, because as he’s mentioned before he likes to see his reaction when he’s angry. he does this with san a lot too which is what probably starts the sometimes petty arguments. lol.

here some points to reference.

this vlive, seonghwa’s birthday, now it’s important to note that woo does not often appear on vlives. even though i wished he would, he just doesn’t unless it’s a group vlive he rarely goes live and i’m bitter about it as a woo stan. note that san was on the vlive too, but came after woo left and stayed. now, we could hear san in the background during the vlive. but many of us didn’t know he stayed in the background watching seonghwa.

we could only trust anewz to release such confidential information.

now, before i make the point about woohwa, i just want to highlight how close these three are. even though the members often watch each others vlives and congratulate each others birthday and even call. woosan actually came to seonghwa’s bday vlive and woo stated that he wanted to do the vlive with seonghwa which is very telling. ‘cause he rarely does vlives and san, seonghwa and yeosang are probably the members he feels closest too. i would add hongjoong in there too, but i feel like people wouldn’t understand my reasoning why. i’m considering doing an analysis for woojoong. ‘cause i do feel that they are close, but underrated. but anyway. my point is during this vlive woo was super excited and was literally all over seonghwa constantly telling him that he’s so, “handsome”. his hands were roaming all over his neck, shoulders and chest. which i do think woo is attracted to because i’ve caught him trying to look in members shirts multiple times. lmfao. he’s just a bit more curious then i think is normal.

let’s talk about other small moments where woo is much more invested in seonghwa than the others.

this recent moment, where it’s as if yunho doesn’t exist, it was a bit awkward for me to watch because it was clear where woo’s interest was. lol.

this recent moment where he literally abandoned yeosang once seognhwa came in(can i just note there was also a moment here where woo tried to look in yeosang’s shirt and seonghwa was like wtf, stop and woo got embarrassed. lol like i said before i am confident that woo is bi). now, continuing on because i don’t have the captions i’m gonna give a rough translation of what was said. you can always go to the vlives and search for the moment yourself, but i do think the subs are still a bit janky don’t know if they’ve been fixed. but as you can see woo started getting closer to seonghwa. closer than he was comfortable with and you can tell by his body language that he is tense and nervous. if this was anyone else or even san, i honestly don’t think seonghwa would have reacted this way. because this type of skinship is normal but since this is woo. seonghwa’s body is instinctively reacting to something that he is expecting to happen. in this case, i’m more than sure he’s expecting woo to probably kiss him on the cheek. because he says, “i get nervous when you come close”. i mean.....

so yes, he is probably nervous, now note, woo seems to only do this with seonghwa, ‘cause as i’ve said before he’s physically attracted to him. now someone he never does this to is yeosang, but you’re probably like, “because they’re friends and woo prob isn’t attracted to him and yeosang doesn’t like skinship. which i all agree with, but i don’t think seonghwa enjoys it either and i think the difference is that he knows seonghwa probably won’t do anything because he has the patience of a saint.

now this only worries me a TEENY bit because i know that woo can be rough and manhandle people at times. and most of those times he tried to kiss seonghwa it was probably not out of consent. and if you see my woohwa moments where woo attempts to steal a kiss without seonghwa’s permission. it’s clear to see that he is uncomfortable. and i think woo continues to do this because seonghwa is too patient to tell him otherwise. but i DO trust that if seonghwa seriously doesn’t like it and tells him to stop he would. i’m sure things are fine tho because they still seem super close. but i do think seonghwa may be too nice sometimes.

i mean he was treating him like a dog and telling him to sit for the ice cream in that same vlive. lmfao.

woo plays too much, but is super soft and kind. :) but don’t take it from me.

anyway, woohwa is a ship that’s very close and sweet, but it’s obvious that woo is much more infatuated with seonghwa than seonghwa is infatuated with woo. but woo said in the xmas vlive that he knows seonghwa well which is why seonghwa’s “into him”.

however, seonghwa responded and said this was not the case when woo left. seonghwa said that woo’s a tsundere and one second he’s nice and the the next he’s like, “don’t touch me.” lmfao. now that i know this i wonder if woo does this with san as well. where he looks like he can’t be bothered with then the next second he’s probably clinging to san in bed. which probably confuses san. it reminds me of that time where woo said he didn’t wanna look at san during an idol radio episode and san was dumbfounded. lmfao.

so, as i’ve mentioned before i believed these two(woosan) are genuinely in a relationship or are somewhat intimate with each other. if this is the case, why does woo do this? why does he shamelessly flirt with seonghwa lit in his face? lol

now i think most of us probably assumed that woo was someone who doesn’t like to commit or doesn’t like to settle. now a lot of people think this even without knowing his sign. so this was only confirmed for me when i realized that he was a sagittarius. i don’t really rely on horoscopes because they’re not always accurate. but i do feel like this may be something woo has in common with those who are sags.

as a sag this means it’s easy for him to gain interest in someone and we can obviously see that when woo is interested, we’ll know. he has mentioned he doesn’t like to play hard to get. and we also know sags are blunt and honest to a fault and if you watch the old woosan vlives you can tell that it sometimes hurts san’s feelings because he is sensitive and an introvert completely opposite of woo. sags are also known for being slow to commit or preferring to keep things casual. but are very loyal when they do commit.

while san is a cancer and they are the exact opposites. cancers are incredibly sensitive and caring. they’re also quick to commit and are slow to bail when things get tough.

what’s important to note about these two is that their signs are very VERY incompatible.

so like i’ve said it’s best to not rely on horoscopes because we know woosan are bestfriends and soulmates. but we can also see their very obvious differences in personalities when they’re together and we can tell san often gets hurt by woo’s bluntness. but i wanna highlight a moment during an idol radio podcast.

now this is a moment that happened during the radio podcast at 41:50 on schmoosubs channel on yt. during this whole podcast san was clearly upset with woo and woo was attempting to win san back. something you should know about sags is they love to chase. so i’m guessing woo did something to upset san, but woo says in the video that he’s upset with san. lol. but it was this moment in particular that caught my eye because it came out of nowhere.

there was no song being recommended or anything from what i could hear, and suddenly yunho said that and san was like yeah, “i was just a toy”. i’m wondering if he was referring to woo treating him as such which is why he was rejecting him. now it would seem harsh especially if they were referencing block b’s song which is very plausible seeing as the podcast was for recommending songs for people. and idk if it would be a stretch to say yunho was recommending it for san to woo. but interpret it as you want. here are some lyrics.

now why is all this important well, this is just to highlight why i feel woo may flirt with the other members shamelessly and also why they may also fight and seem distant for a period of time and san stops returning woo’s advances. i think it had a lot to do with woo not wanting serious at the moment.

if you watch woosan’s interactions before they were definitely not as close then as they are now. which is a big reason you can’t convince me it’s fanservice, because everything changed before debut they were obviously friends, but after debut you can tell they became more intimate physically and mentally. even the way they look at each other has changed.

another reason i don’t think it’s forced fanservice is because people often forget that seongjoong is also a pretty big ship. just look at the views on yt for seongjoong moments and the number of fanfics(many woosan fics turn out to be seongjoon fics and i’m salty af. lol). they’re much bigger because these are two members that are both popular in ateez. but they don’t really bother with fanservice much. which leads me to believe that even though it’s probably advised KQ doesn’t force them to sell it’s realness despite seongjoong being just as high in demand as woosan.

now, let’s get back on topic and discuss sanhwa(ikr, it’s finally time btch).

sanhwa is definitely one of the softest underrated ships. like they’re obviously very comfortable with each other and are comfortable with skinship enough that they aren’t afraid to cuddle or slap each others butt on camera. their relationship is very domestic and sweet.

this moment happened during hwa’s birthday vlive where he asks san if he has anything to say to atiny and san’s like “i love you atiny” and hwa’s like what about me do you love me more than atiny pick one. lol. san then hung up. can i say he’s so brutal to my boi. but the point is they were very open about their conversation because they have nothing to hide because they love each other and are really trustworthy friends/brothers. i would like to note that san also appeared in hwa’s vlive two other times. this alone proves to me once again that the bond that these three share is particularly close and special.

throughout this vlive they were so touchy and sweet with one another. san is a baby that needs to touch for comfort. and as you can see they’re both comfortable and as i mentioned before. seonghwa doesn’t really care i mean he let san hug him for almost a full two minutes lol. he only gets annoyed around san after excessive physical affection but if it were woo hugging him like that he’d probably feel more so nervous than annoyed. lol.

san is practically a baby around seonghwa. they’re so comfortable around each other and it’s obvious that san let’s his guard down around seonghwa. now, seonghwa is an aries and to me he’s literally nothing like one. lol. he’s probably the most patient person i’ve ever come to know. and to me i think he treats the members similarly and is truly like a parent. although woo does make that hard for him. >_>

now let’s talk about woosanhwa as a whole and woosan, being like no, it’s woosan not woosanhwa.

i can’t believe san bro-zoned seonghwa like that. lmfao. but the fact that seonghwa refers to san himself as woosan is utterly adorable and it really shows the bond between woosan is strong. like they’ve mentioned before their each others halves. and quite honestly i don’t know why woosan is so opposed to people joining, but i do feel like they genuinely dislike being disturbed when they’re alone together. but seonghwa is consistent in wanting to join them. i can honestly say i think he just wants to hang out and doesn’t have an ulterior motive.

san’s basically like i don’t want you to join us, why does he always wants to join us? but then woo’s like he’s really different off camera, yET HE’S STILL SO HANDSOME. just shamelessly flirting with seonghwa. they obviously enjoy teasing him. i’m gonna be honest and say i think san only started teasing him because woo does it. the thing about woosan that is different from all ships is that they literally see each other as one. like a married couple and they make the effort to be alike. when they talk it’s almost as if they’re reading each others minds and voicing each others thoughts. then you just have san going sure you can join, but your name is separated from ours.

seonghwa’s still on a mission to join and they’re both just making fun of him and seonghwa’s like what about woosanhwa. note that seonghwa wanted to join these two during their vlive in the middle but they were still firm in their decision like nah fam, you can do it by yourself tho. which he did end up doing alone. like they really don’t want this man’s to join. he can’t even sit and eat with them. x)

but he finally succeeded in joining them and they finally became woosanhwa. but even though this may seem like a fanservice gimmick i think it just became a joke because woosan wouldn’t let anyone join them. but this does not only apply to seonghwa. it applies to everyone let’s take this moment from last year as an example.

this was a vlive from a while back that started off with woosan, but yunho wanted to join in on the fun. even before allowing him to join they were both, well mostly san was irritated every time yunho called them. you can look at my analysis of this woosan vlive and see how irritated san was every time yunho called. lmfao. to me it wasn’t that serious but it made me realize that woosan probably prefers doing things alone and being alone.

these are just more proofs that they hang outside together off camera a lot. if they were concerned about shipping they wouldn’t be this open. nor do i think they would hang out as often as they do. woo is just talking about his day that mostly involved san and he more then likely didn’t realize how often he was mentioning him. especially in comparison to everyone else and he probably mentioned seonghwa once.

i wanted to add this because to me this alone speaks volumes. these are the three things that make woo smile. i mean san is literally part of ateez, and he’s best friends with yeosang and san. but he put san there and i’m sure it’s because san makes him smile for different reasons. i mean think about it he could have even replaced san with family. this was really powerful.

san is saying they proved it, in my opinion i’m pretty sure he was referring to how well they know each other. the fact that san said they make efforts to to close their differences also speaks volumes. like they don’t even have to like the same things but they make the effort to and this makes them proud. saying it’s fanservice would be so disingenuous and unfair to them. especially when they are clearly close and are proud and open about their relationship. and just because they are open doesn’t mean it’s not real. woosan is a ship that can’t be compared to the others because they’re entirely different than any other ship.

i don’t know why, but hongjoong was being real petty referring to woosan as, “amicus something” like he really had me dying laughing. i think he was lowkey jelly. but san was like i’m gonna have to correct you, it’s, “amicus ad aras” and hongjoong was still clowning and was like “this amicus something team” lmfao. and san AND woo was like “amicus ad aras!”

like woosanhwa is a beautiful ship, but listen to woosan, “it’s amicus ad aras”.

#ateez #woosan #woosanhwa #yungi #wooyoung #san #choi san #Seonghwa #yunho #hongjoong #sanhwa #woohwa

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sorry-apsalar · 3 years

Text

I Kissed a Bot and I Liked It

I started watching Futurama recently on a whim (currently only a few episodes into season 4 so if things aren't consistent with stuff that happens later in the series, that's why) and I'm really enjoying it so far except for a few things. Mainly the compulsory heteronormativity that's present in every episode (that I've seen so far) that deals with romantic relationships (with sort of one exception but it doesn't really count in my opinion). Which is mostly whatever, it's to be expected, especially since it's an older show but the Fry/Leela stuff is frustrating because personally I feel like they don't have good romantic chemistry (I'm open to this changing later but I doubt it will) and this is just another case of 'there's a male main character and a female main character and they're friends, therefore they must have romantic feelings for each other' that I've seen a hundred times before. It's aggravating enough that it spurred a fic idea for an AU where Fry is a repressed gay man. I decided to make it an Xmas gift for myself for reasons and because why not?

So Merry Xmas everyone, especially me!

The future was great. Everything about it was grand and exciting and Fry had friends now. Yeah, sure he was still a delivery boy but he was delivering a variety of things across space alongside his friends. And yeah, sure his living area was smaller than he would’ve chosen and it was technically a closet but he was roommates with his best friend and despite being a closet, it was still a little bigger than his old apartment had been. So, the future was great in every possible way even if parts of it made little to no sense.

Luckily, he had friends so some of those things that made no sense, he could ask about and have explained to him. Sometimes they didn’t even make fun of him for not knowing. There was one thing though that he was afraid to ask about. What exactly made it a scary thing to ask about he wasn’t sure of but it wasn’t because he worried they’d think him stupid because everyone already thought that and honestly it was true, brains weren’t his thing. The more often it popped up though, the more he wanted an explanation. He finally reaching a breaking point on that one evening when watching TV with Bender after returning home from work.

In an episode of All My Circuits two of the side characters ended up hooking up. Which wasn’t weird in itself, it was a soap opera, everyone was pairing up and breaking up all the time, but what was odd was the fact that it was two dudes. It was far from the first time Fry had seen such things in the past month or so he’d been here for, in other shows, movies, and even in prior episodes, same-sex couples popped up fairly frequently and if there was ever any issue with the couple, that was never one of them. So…

“Hey Bender,” he said as the credits for the episode rolled, glancing over at Bender sitting on the couch next to him, “those two robots that got together at the end there are both uh… men, right?”

The look Bender gave him reflected how stupid of a question that was. But how else was he supposed to broach the topic? He wasn’t good with words. “Man-bots yes, what else would they be?” Bender replied, sounding annoyed as he looked.

“Well uh… I don’t know but…” Unable to maintain eye contact, Fry looked away, instead focusing his gaze on one of the many crumbled cans of Slurm on the floor by the coffee table. He shouldn’t have brought this up because it was… uh… awkward or something. But it was too late now and he needed to understand because he just did. “If they’re both man-bots then why are they a couple?” And why wasn’t that viewed as remarkable by anyone else? “Isn’t that a thing normally only men and women are supposed to do?”

“Wow Fry, of all people I didn’t expect you to be homophobic.”

“What?” Fry snapped his gaze back to look at Bender. “I’m not… whatever you just said, I don’t even know what that means.” Which meant it could describe him but the context made it sound bad so it wasn’t him… probably. ‘Phobic’ meant fear, right? What did ‘homo’ mean though?

“It means you hate gay people,” Bender said as he pulled another cigar out of his casing. “Though I suppose that was common back when you came from now that I think about it.” After lighting up, he blew a cloud of smoke in Fry’s general direction. “I forget how primitive you are sometimes. That’s fine though, I hate humans so we both harbor hatred for an entire group of people. Though my hatred’s justified while yours isn’t.”

Fry coughed, waving a hand in front of his face to clear the smoke. “I don’t hate gay people.” He never had even if that’s what he’d been lowkey taught at the church he’d been forced to go to as a kid and young teen. “I just… it’s supposed to be a sin, right? Like… you go to hell forever if you chose to be gay. Though… I guess I don’t really believe in God anymore so… I don’t know. But still… that’s normal now? Or uh… or least acceptable? To choose to be gay, I mean?”

The look Bender gave him this time might’ve been a concerned one if it had come from almost anyone else. “You don’t ‘choose’ to be gay. Did you meatbags really used to believe it was a choice?”

“Uh… that’s what I was always taught. Or that like… gay people are confused and think that being able to recognize that another man is attractive means you’re attracted to him.” And that that was wrong and shameful and should never be admitted to once one was cleared of that misunderstanding. Because marriage and love and all that was supposed to be between a man and a woman for the sole purpose of making babies or whatever. The fact that that viewpoint was no longer common a thousand years later wasn’t surprising now that he really thought about it but somehow it seemed significant.

Bender took another puff from his cigar before replying. “Well, it ain’t a choice. Now shut up, the next episode’s starting.”

Fry sighed as he pulled his legs up onto the couch to hug to his chest as he turned his attention back on the TV. But now that the topic had been brought up, he didn’t seem able to fully focus. The fact that the episode dealt with the gay romance and treated it like every other side romance in the show made it even harder not to think about. Not that there was even a whole lot to think about, just that that kind of thing was socially acceptable now. Which was… a good thing, yes, definitely a good thing. It didn’t affect him any of course, he was attracted to women and only women, but it was good for the people it did affect. …

“What about robots?” he eventually asked.

“What about them?” Bender didn’t even look away from the TV.

“Is it a choice for you? Or are you manufactured that way? And if so is it a choice whatever or whoever is making you makes or is it like random or something?”

“Oh, you’re still thinking about that, huh? That kind of thing develops at the same time as our personality so it’s not a choice anyone makes. It’s complex stuff, you wouldn’t understand.”

That was undoubtedly true but before Fry could drop it, he wanted to know one more thing. … “What about you? Are you uh… you know?”

With the start of the ad-break, Bender finally turned his head to look at Fry again. “Are you asking if I’m gay?”

Fry nodded. How rude was it to ask that kind of thing? Surely it had to be mostly chill since it was socially acceptable now.

“What’s it’s to you? Why do you want to know?” Oh no, he seemed offended. Though that might just be him being him.

“I’m just curious.” There was no harm wanting to know that kind of thing about one’s best friend, right? “We’ve been best friends for a whole month now and I don’t even know what kind of people you’re into.”

“Very well,” he relaxed, seemingly taking that as an acceptable answer, “if you must know, I’m pansexual.”

“Um… does that mean you’re attracted to pans?” What else could it mean? This was the future and lots of things were weird and Bender was a robot so maybe that was just a thing.

“No! What kind of idiot would even think that? It means somebody’s gender plays no role in whether or not I find the attractive. For me the only thing I care about is if they’re a robot.”

“Okay, I guess.”

“What about you Fry?” Bender pointed an almost accusing finger at him. “Now it’s your turn. Are you gay?”

“Uh… no.” It almost sounded like a question even to his own ears. But he wasn’t gay, he was normal, always had been even if he had been picked on in middle and high school with accusations of being gay.

Bender gave him a skeptical look but seemed to shrug as he turned his attention back onto the TV; the ad-break was over. With a sigh, Fry followed suit. He was more than ready to stop talking about that subject now.

Later that night

“Wake up Bender,” Fry said, shaking Bender by the shoulders.

Bender groaned as the metal flap that covered his eyes when he slept lifted. “Huh? What?” Understandably he both looked and sounded sleepy. Which Fry felt bad for but this was urgent.

“If I was gay, which I’m not, but if I was, it’d be okay with you, right?” After the thought that it might not be okay with Bender had come to him while he lay in bed, waiting for sleep, he hadn’t been able to get any rest so he needed to know for sure.

“Are you kidding me? That’s what you woke me up for? To ask a dumb question like that? Man, Fry get out of her and go back to bed.” Bender put a hand on Fry’s shoulder to push him back into the closet, hard but nowhere near as hard as he was capable of so really it probably counted as gentle.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Fry said, putting his foot in the door before Bender could close it. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Bender rolled his eyes. “Yes Fry, if you were gay, I’d be fine with it. Happy?”

“Uh yeah, thanks pal. Sorry for waking you up, I just wanted to know. Even though I’m not gay so it doesn’t really matter, I just wanted to know if you’d accept me even if I was because… I don’t know. I just wanted to know I guess.”

“Yeah, whatever. Go back to sleep meatbag.” With that Bender pulled the door closed, seemingly little caring that Fry only barely managed to get his foot out of the way in time.

A few months later

‘~ I kissed a guy and I liked it…~’ Fry had to admit it was a bop. More so than a lot of the other songs he’d found while trying to catch up on some of the music he’d missed in the last thousand years. Who would’ve thought so much bad music would be what persisted throughout the years? Yeah sure it was one of those opinion things but his taste in music was great and no one could convince him otherwise.

As the second chorus hit, he found himself half singing along with it as he resumed scrolling through the song list on the tablet, searching for more titles that caught his eye. … What would it be like to kiss a guy? Would it be like kissing a girl? (Not that he had much experience with that even despite having had a girlfriend once upon a time. The few kisses they had shared had been meh at best.) Probably not, right? It had to be different. … He kind of wanted to find out for sure now that he’d thought of it. Maybe it would even be not terrible. Who could he kiss to try it though? …

The sound of the door opening prompted him to look up as Bender strode in. Ah, he’d be perfect because he was a guy. And they were best friends so there wouldn’t be any confusion about intentions.

“Hey Bender,” Fry said as he placed the tablet, still playing music on the coffee table and hopped up off the couch. “Would it be all right if we kissed?”

Bender froze mid-step as the door swung shut behind him. “Uh… what?”

“Well, I’m listening to this song here and it’s about a guy kissing another guy and liking it and it got me thinking what that would be like. It has to be different from kissing a girl, right? But like how different? So I’m curious and I want to find out and you’re a guy so… yeah. It’s fine if you’d rather not, I know it’s a weird request. I could always ask someone else, I’m sure it wouldn’t be…”

“Yes!” Bender interrupted with a surprising amount of intensity as he lowered his foot. He let out a nervous chuckle as his eyes darted away. “I mean if it’s just one kiss, it should be fine. Nothing wrong with experimenting a little and satisfying some curiosity, it’s not a big deal.”

“Yeah! This is the year 3000, things like that aren’t a big deal anymore.” It was so freeing and wonderful. So without further ado, Fry pranced over to stand in front of Bender. Hmmm… he was a robot though so kissing him wouldn’t be like kissing any human – or humanoid alien – guy or not. But he was still a guy so the basic idea was still there so…

Fry put his hands on Bender’s shoulders as he leaned in for a kiss. Bender’s mouth was cold and unsurprisingly tasted of booze, in a good way though. A slight tingly sensation hit Fry’s lips as Bender’s hands reached up to light touch his sides. Odd but not necessarily unpleasant, he could probably easily get used to it.

They lingered like that for several long seconds before Fry pulled back, letting out a shaky sigh. “Uh… that was interesting, huh?” he said, tugging at his shirt collar a bit because it was suddenly a bit hotter in here for some reason. They were still standing a bit closer than they normally did too. How had he never noticed that Bender was just a tad shorter than him? … The perfect height for a forehead kiss if Fry were inclined to do so.

“Eh, I’ve had better.” Bender avoided eye contact as he stepped back. Which seemed to release the sudden tension in the air as if an important moment had just passed by them.

Fry looked away too, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck. “Yeah sorry, I’m not a great kisser. I don’t really have much experience.”

“So, curiosity satisfied?”

“Uh… yeah. Thanks.” It had been nice actually if a bit weird. … That meant he was into guys though, wasn’t it? …. Oh well, that kind of thing was perfectly fine now so yeah, he was into guys and not ashamed of it.

“Good, now… let’s move on and pretend this never happened, okay? We don’t want anyone thinking we’re dating when we’re not.”

“Um… yeah.” Fry nodded, holding his smile even though for some reason Bender’s words made him a bit uncomfortable. If it wasn’t a big deal, why did they have to pretend it had never happened? “Let’s watch some TV, huh? All My Circuits should be starting soon.”

~~~

Despite how it was supposed to have just been an experiment and not a big deal, Fry thought about that kiss a lot. He wanted to do it again and do it better so that maybe Bender would like it too. How did he even go about that though?

That wasn’t all he thought about. Now that he was comfortable and willing to accept that he liked guys like that he allowed his mind to go to other places to. Like dating and holding hands and cuddling and sometimes even sex. What would all the be like with another guy? A robot? Specifically Bender? He wanted to know. He lay in bed at night thinking about it more nights than not. Often it turned into barely remembered dreams that left him more unsatisfied than anything.

He’d never find out though, would he? Because Bender didn’t like humans like that. He’d said so himself directly and had implied it in other instances too, always insisting he hated humans and all that – even if he didn’t really act like it most of the time. So… Fry didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell with him.

Damn! He was finally in a place where he was comfortable with his sexuality and in a time when he wouldn’t be persecuted for it and the first man he fell for was unattainable. That was just his luck, huh? … But then again, this was the year 3000 and almost anything was possible with today’s technology, right? …

Waking up early and getting out of bed was absolutely terrible, even worse was going into work that early. But he had no choice if he wanted some time to talk to Professor Farnsworth without Bender around or hopefully anyone else.

As he knew from the handful of weeks he’d lived at the Planet Express building, Farnsworth should be one of the first people here. He typically went straight to his office … and lo and behold, that’s where Fry found him this morning; asleep in his office chair.

Fry walked over to prod his shoulder. “Hey Professor?”

The only response was a loud snore. How he slept so soundly faceup in his desk chair like that, Fry would never understand. But it was important so Fry poked him again, harder this time.

“Wake up, I got something important to ask you about.”

With a grunt, Farnsworth jerked awake. “Huh? What?” He looked blearily around for a few seconds before his gaze settled on Fry. “Oh, you’re here early… I think.”

“Yep because I got something important to ask. You see I’m uh…” Fry gulped, suddenly regretting this a little bit but he’d already come this far so putting his hands behind his back, he soldiered on. “I think I’m gay, well uh… I don’t just think, I know… I think. I’m not entirely sure yet but do I do know I like guys and I’ve never really got girls, you know? Like I thought I was supposed to so I would flirt with them and stuff but it never really felt good even when one finally agreed to date me, you know what I mean?”

“That’s what’s so important you came to work early to tell me about? Well earlier than normal. This is the year 3000, no one cares if you’re gay Fry. The fact that that was ever viewed as a reason to hate people is astounding when there’s so many more actual reasons, such as their taste in music or sports teams.”

“Uh… that’s only part of what I came here to tell you. What I need to ask you is um… well in discovering that I like guys I also discovered that I got a thing for Bender. A kind of big thing. I’ve never felt this way before so I don’t really know what it is for sure but I really want to kiss him and hold his hand and stuff. I know that probably sounds weird because he’s Bender and…”

“Just get to the point,” Farnsworth interrupted.

“Oh uh… sorry. I don’t think he likes humans, not like that anyway. So I was thinking would it be possible to upload my mind into a robot body so that I might have a real chance with him?” Fry had seen such things in movies and stuff a few times, surely that was possible with today’s technology, right?

“Hmmm…” Farnsworth lifted a hand to tap a finger on his chin. “I suppose we could give it a try. You’d be more useful as a robot anyway.” … Wow he’d agreed to that without any need for convincing.

“Awesome, let’s go.”

With a grunt and crack of his old bones, Farnsworth pushed himself off the chair and led the way out of his office. He seemed to know where he was going so Fry followed. In the hallway, they ran into Leela.

“Oh hey Fry,” she said, “You’re here on time for once, good job.”

“Thanks! The Professor’s about to turn me into a robot, you want to watch?”

“Uh… what?”

“I’m turning him into a robot,” Farnsworth replied. “Now come along Fry, we need determine what kind of robot will be most useful to us. I’m thinking one with built in weaponry.”

Leela fell into step with Fry as Farnsworth resumed leading the way presumably to the lab. “Why exactly do you want to be a robot?” she asked in her suspicious voice.

“Because um… well uh…” Fry wasn’t ashamed to admit it or anything but he wasn’t ready for her to know especially when she was looking at him with that looks of hers she always had on her face whenever she caught him doing something stupid.

“He’s in love with Bender or some such bull crap,” Farnsworth said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Is that true Fry?”

“Uh… I think so, yes. I don’t really know what love feels like but… regardless he won’t be interested in me as long as I’m human so… I’m becoming a robot. Don’t tell him though please. I want to be the one who tells him.” … What if even becoming a robot didn’t work though? What would Fry do then? He didn’t have time to think on that much as they reached the professor’s lab.

“All right Fry,” Farnsworth said. “You go sit on the table while I work on getting you a good robot body and then when Doctor Zoidberg gets here we’ll call him in to help remove your brain from your skull.”

Oh! Fry didn’t like the sound of that. Before he could voice a protest though, Leela did. “Uh no, that’s not happening. Come on Fry.” She grabbed Fry by the arm and dragged him right back into the hallway. She then closed the door, cutting off Farnsworth’s groan of disappointment.

“But Leela,” Fry tried only to be interrupted as she kept pulling him away.

“Have you even tried talking to Bender and telling him how you feel yet?”

“Well, no but…”

“That’s what I thought. Try that first before going and doing something dumb like having the Professor turn you into a robot. Seriously what were you thinking? It’s the Professor, there’s no way that could ever turn out well. Now come on, we’re going back to the main room and when Bender shows up, you’re going to tell him how you feel, okay?”

Before Fry could even try to answer…

“What’s this about Fry telling Bender how he feels?” Hermes asked as they entered the main room.

“He’s in love,” Leela replied as if it weren’t a big deal.

“Really?” Oh great, Amy was here now too. “I guess that makes sense though, huh? Since they’re roommates and all, the romance practically writes itself. Congrats on realizing it sooner rather than later though Fry.”

With a groan and free Leela’s grasp at last, Fry slunk over to sit at the round table so he could hide his burning face in his arms. He was never going to live this down. Basically everyone knew now and it was only a matter of time before that ‘basically’ was no more. His only solace was the fact that Bender wouldn’t be arriving at work for at least another hour or two so he had some time to figure out what he might say… not much though, nowhere near enough.

The next couple hours were awful. Hermes lectured him about the risks and dangers of workplace romance and what was and was not allowed as if proper romance were a foregone conclusion and not the vain hope it actually was. Amy quizzed him about what he even saw in Bender because Bender was an ‘egotistical kleptomaniac’, whatever that meant. Zoidberg came in and was immediately told and expressed joy that his friends were ‘in love’ and that it was beautiful, again as if it wasn’t just Fry with these feelings which was far more likely to be the case, right? Leela was the only one who left him alone about it despite the fact that she was the one that let the cat out of the bag to everyone else.

The awfulness of all that came to a point when Bender finally arrived. Everyone in the room froze as they looked up at him. Amy let out an excited giggle that made Fry kind of want to die.

“Uh… hey guys,” Bender said as he strode into room. “Why’s everyone looking at me?”

“No reason,” Leela as she stood up. “Fry’s got something important to tell you though. Come on guys, let’s give them some privacy.” She led the way out of the room, quickly followed by everyone else, leaving Fry and Bender alone together within a matter of seconds.

Bender looked after them as they closed the door for a few seconds before turning to look at Fry. “All right, that’s weird. What’s this you want tell me?” he said as he strode over to sit at the table next to Fry. He bent legs up to rest his feet on the table as he pulled out a bottle of booze.

Unable to maintain eye contact, Fry looked away, focusing his gaze on the table instead. He rubbed his finger idly over the little scratch on it that he somehow hadn’t noticed before. What was he supposed to say? He wasn’t ready to tell Bender… more like wasn’t ready to be rejected. How badly was this going to hurt their friendship?

He couldn’t brush it off as nothing, could he? … No, now that Bender knew there was something, he’d probably take offense to any attempt to keep it from him. He’d likely assume the worst too – whatever that might be in his mind – and thus be quite angry. So Fry either had to come up with a convincing important thing to tell him or the truth. The former would be difficult but…

“Out with it meatbag, what is it?”

“Uh… um… it’s uh…” Fry had never been good with words.

“Just spit it out. Am I fired? You don’t want to be my friend anymore? You moving out? … That’s what it is, isn’t it? You hooked up with Amy or Leela and you’re going to move in with them now, huh?”

“What?” Fry jerked his gaze back up to meet Bender’s angry glare. “No, no, no, that’s not it at all.”

Bender didn’t seem much placated. “Then what is it?”

Fry had never been very good at lying or coming up with convincing tales so… with a deep breath he stood up. “You um… remember a couple weeks ago when we kissed and it was supposed to be an experiment to see what it was like to kiss a guy and nothing more?”

Bender’s expression softened a little, though the suspicious anger didn’t leave completely yet. “Yes.”

“Well uh… I’d like to do it again sometime if that’s okay with you. Maybe uh… multiple times.”

“Uh…”

“What I’m saying,” Fry quickly interrupted before he could be shot down before even really saying what he meant, “is that I um… really like you and stuff. So uh… do you maybe want go on a date sometime and like… see what happens?” Fry forced himself to meet Bender’s gaze again. He seemed more surprised than angry now. Was it pleasant surprise though or the opposite? It was hard to tell.

Before replying, Bender took a long drink from the bottle still in his hand, finishing it off and slamming it onto the table as he stood up too. “Is this some fetish thing? You want to fuck a robot and I’m the only one you know so you’re getting all sweet on me to try to get in bed with me?” Right back to being angry, suspicious, and wanting to believe the worst. Why was he like that?

“No, Bender, that’s not it. I like you for you.” Fry pointed at him to emphasize his point. If he were in a less delicate situation he might’ve pointed out how Bender kind of resembled a walking trashcan and therefore wasn’t exactly sexy enough to be worth going to so much trouble for just the purpose of sex. “You’re great and you’re my best friend. And I love spending time with you whether we’re off on a space adventure or just lazing around the apartment watching TV together. So, I’d like to be more than just friends if that’s what you want too. If not, that’s… okay too, I’d understand.” And hopefully this confession wouldn’t hurt that any.

“Oh, hmmm… what else do you like about me?” Well, he was chill now and even grinning, that was good.

“You’re always fun to talk to and you’ve got great ideas for ways to pass the time when we’re bored. And even though you steal my wallet all the time, you always give it back eventually. And you’re a robot and that’s still super cool even if I’m used to robots by now because you were the first one I met and I wasn’t lying when I said I’d always wanted a robot for a best friend. So really by being my pal, you’re fulfilling a lifelong dream of mine. I’ve never thought about dating one before now though, it just never occurred to me until after that uh… kiss experiment we did.”

“Go on,” Bender said in the pause that followed, leaning in eagerly.

Fry sighed. “You’re also very confident, especially in yourself.” Too the point of annoyance at times but even during those instances Fry still wished he could have even a fraction of that level of confidence. “And you’re also super strong, you can bend metal like it’s made of paper which is super cool. And sometimes you use that strength to open jars for me and sometimes you don’t even make fun of me for not being able to open it myself. Also, even despite our occasional disagreements, we always make up eventually and then we’re friends again like nothing ever happened and… that’s really nice.” Fry had never had a friend that would do that for him before, normally one disagreement was all it took for someone to decide they didn’t want to hang out with him ever again. “So… will you go out with me?” Forcing a grin, Fry held out a hand in hopes of Bender taking it.

Bender stared at him in silence for a few horrible seconds that seemed to drag into eternity before finally speaking. “Well, if you’re going to butter me up that much, I suppose we can go on one date and see what happens.” Looking away awkwardly, he even put his hand into Fry’s.

With a rush of giddy relief and grinning so wide his cheeks hurt, Fry use that grip to pull him closer so that their bodies were almost touching, earning a small but very satisfying surprised gasp from him. “Can I kiss you again? For real this time, not just as an experiment?” One was always supposed to ask before doing such a thing, right?

“I just agreed to go on a date with you meatbag, what do you think?”

Fry didn’t answer or make a further move because he didn’t know what to think. He’d never done this before, not with someone he actually wanted to be with.

Bender sighed. “Yes moron, you can kiss me again.”

Fry did so before any self-doubt could get in the way. Bender’s mouth plate was still cool, the taste of beer even stronger than last time. The slight tingling buzz was still there too, just as odd but nice.

“Better than last time?” Fry said, letting out a heavy breath as the pulled apart a few seconds later. He was a bit lightheaded and wanted to sit down but that would mean letting go of Bender’s hand and moving away from him.

“A little.”

Fry took a breath, intending to suggest maybe he needed some more practice but he didn’t get a single syllable out before a small squeak to their right drew his attention. He glanced over just in time to see the door close, silently as whoever was on the other side did so carefully.

Bender had clearly noticed too; he let go of Fry hand and left him to sneak over fling the door all the way open. Perhaps not so surprisingly Leela, Amy, Hermes, Zoidberg and even Professor Farnsworth were gathered in close on the other side. The looks of guilt on their faces made it quite clear what they were doing there.

“Uh, hey Bender,” Leela said with a slight grimace. “What you up to? We were just uh… passing by.”

“And we’re quickly moving on,” Hermes added before turning to flee. The others wasted no time in following suit, Amy dragging away Zoidberg and Leela dragging away Farnsworth.

Bender sighed as he turned back to Fry. If he were as embarrassed as Fry, he was doing a good job of not showing it – though as a robot he couldn’t blush so maybe that had something to do with it. “They’re a bunch of disgusting voyeurs, ,” he said with a scoff as he walked over back over to Fry. “Let’s go to the break room and watch some TV. They should be ashamed enough over being caught spying to not yell at us to go back to work for at least an hour or two.” He put an arm around Fry’s waist to guide him out of the room. Fry was more than happy to go along with it. And maybe, just maybe, they could practice kissing during the ad breaks.

#my writing #futurama #Frender #Mentions of homophobia #internalized homophobia #Fry is gay AU #Bender is pan #kissing #Leela is mom-friend

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llendrinall · 4 years

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So i got another fic idea in my head The dates are very important. 1 (May 1998) Percy was a Ministry spy and he worked closely with Albus. He saved a lot of lives no matter their blood or if they were creatures. And at the battle of Hogwarts he saves Freds life but hes in crit condition George is a total ass (He's angry and takes it out on Percy) going off at him saying nasty things along the lines of that Percy isn't welcome at the Weasley home anymore.

2 When he tries to go to the House to talk to them he's not treated very well ("Dont wanna hear excuses Percy"). He just give up, packs his things in his flat, & the next morning he goes, gives his mission reports that date from the start of his Ministry career along with his resignation letter on Shacklebot's desk. Then he's off to America to start over he snuck into Freds hospital room & used Snapes healing charms as a way to 'set things right' before leaving.

3. Percy is now in New York, gets a job, and then spends the next 6 months working diligently and whatnot. Then he meets Audrey Smith, they end up going on a few dates and she introduces Percy to her local gym and they become gym buddies and soon start dating. (Aug 2000) After 2 years together (They're married) Percy and Audrey find out they're expecting. And then the twins are born on the 2nd of May 2001. Percy laughs a bit as Audrey pats him the shoulder and says "They sure chose the date"

4. Sep 11 2001) Audrey dies in the 9/11 attack (she was a muggle) & Percy is left a widow with 2 daughters to look after. (June 2002) He bumps into Oliver who's on a quidditch training exchange. They catch up. (Oliver doesn't bring up the fact that Percy's fam has been looking for him for years and that he's saved so many lives) As December rolls around Oliver spends it at Percy's, meeting the kids and hearing Percy tell him everything (His wife, his family and the war)

(I think this is part 5? Idk its 2am here) (Jan - May) They spend a lot of time together after Xmas and slowly Percy begins to heal a bit more after Audrey's death. Oliver ends up going back to the UK and Percy misses him. (July) Oliver comes back with news that he's transferred to an NY team "They might not be big on Quidditch here but they're extremely good, Perce" (Its not because Oliver has been inlove with Percy since Hogwarts. Neither is it because he loves Molly & Lucy to death either)

6 (Feb 2004) The UK Papers get a picture of Oliver, Percy the twins out and it BLOWS UP. Charlie (The only one who even heard Percy out back after the war ended, He knows the others did wrong by him) floos in and then warns Percy about everyone knowing he's here and that they're gonna be coming in 2 days. So He ends up having Charlie take the girls. He ends up meeting with his fam and it takes a long long time for them to heal and fix things.

7. His Fam only get to meet Molly and Lucy when they're 6. When they're 7 he and Oliver gets married. Idk why but i seem to only send you these fic ideas when im hella tired and at 2am. T_T Why am i like this? So Audrey named Molly and Perce named Lucy (After each others moms)

Honestly, What can I say at this point? You have the whole story thought out. Go for it and write it!

It’s not the kind of story I write, though. But since you dropped the materials here, I can share how I would assemble it.

I would avoid New York. Big cities have a character. They are characters and you have to treat them as such. In Life skills, London is a character, complex and big and hard and beautiful. In Secret language of plants, even though Draco and Harry end up in London, I had them stay in the house because London was too big of a character for that stage of the story.

So, no New York. If I had to use a well-known city I would go with Boston, I think. Otherwise, a small one with a nice name.

Audrey doesn’t die on 9/11. Well, she dies on that day, but not on the attack. It’s something as simple and dull as a traffic accident. Percy wasn’t with her, not that it would have mattered. Yes, wizards have potions to mend bones instantly and protective charms and spells to stop the momentum, but Audrey died instantly, and no one could have seen the car until it was on her.

The driver was an old man, fumbling with that new invention, a mobile phone, trying to call his daughter who worked in New York.

Magic Law on the States is a bit… over the place. It would be extremely simple to put a curse or a hex that man. If Percy was clever about it, it wouldn’t be too illegal. But he doesn’t. Percy realizes it wouldn’t make him feel better.

Percy doesn’t particularly like the States. The tea is terrible, the coffee is weak, the spelling is painful and people are entirely too talkative. But it’s sunnier than England and the orange juice is good, so he stays.

He goes to Romania every summer to visit Charlie. The girls love it there and it was always easy to talk to Charlie. Charlie who had such a promising career in Quidditch and rejected the fame and fortune for a thankless career working with dragons. Not even training dragons for bank security, which is a cool and profitable career, but fighting that very same use.

Charlie only goes back home for a week during Christmas, so he gets it. They don’t have to talk about it, never mention that weird state of loving your family and not wanting to be with them, to fight, to have to explain and justify your very existence and your life decisions.

He meets Oliver in Romania. Supposedly Oliver is there to see the sights and rest his left shoulder, that was injured at the end of the league. But he is not the first Quidditch player who has a crisis of faith and comes to Charlie with questions. So far, none of them had taken up dragon-protection, but one became a broomstick racer and another is the head coach of an Italian team.

Charlie only thinks about dragons. Oliver only thinks about Quidditch and is in the middle of an existential crisis. So it’s perfectible understandable that the topic of Percy, his war heroics and his semi mythical status is never brought up. To be fair, Charlie doesn’t know much about it because he doesn’t read English newspapers and his family never talks about Percy when he is around. Oliver just thinks that Percy is the first Competent Adult he has ever met and is much more interested about this Figuring Life Out than any hero status.

So it’s fair to say that the headlines come as a surprise.

Someone snapped a picture of Oliver and Percy sitting very close together in a park, with twin stupid loving smiles. It was all perfectly innocent. Molly was doing something cute out of frame and they never kept any physical distance between themselves, not even in Hogwarts. But it doesn’t matter. The picture is sold as proof of the mysterious war hero and the dashing sport star carrying a secret love affair. It’s a beautiful story, powerful. Percy is the tragic handsome hero and Oliver the right person to bring love back in his life after years nursing the wounds of war. Or perhaps Oliver is the sweet and honest good boy, the boyfriend every mother wants for her daughter, seduced by the man living a life of exotic and daring adventures.

Whatever it is, the world wants to believe in it. So much so that bloody Draco Malfoy pops up to warn them that there is a dozen of rabid, ruthless, paparazzies coming their way. He knows because Malfoy owns the most read magazine in England and has put a bounty on a photo of the two of them kissing.

Paparazzies don’t have a concept of trespassing, but breaking and entering into a dragon reserve has certain difficulties that can’t be bypassed with an alohomora and a lack of morals. Percy and Oliver spend the rest of the month in the reserve, not daring to go out. Twenty-two days in each other’s company, hiking in the mountains and playing with the girls. Molly and Lucy have decided that Oliver is similar to Charlie in all the right ways, so they like him.

On day nineteen, they kiss. Someone gets a picture of it, but, in his excitement, the photographer wanders into a nest of young dragon carps. He is recued three hours later sans pants or shoes. The photo of their first kiss is lost.

Oliver says he is almost done with his existential crisis but now Percy has one of his own.

You see, there is something Oliver hasn’t said. Something he didn’t mention at all. And Percy doesn’t know if Oliver just hasn’t noticed (it took him two years to realize all the Weasleys were siblings) or if he noticed but… doesn’t care?

There is more than one reason why only Charlie has met the girls.

Even now that Percy has received letters from every family member (including Freaking Aunt Muriel) and even a surprise visit from them (he has a life debt with Charlie for the heads-up) and they have begun the unpleasant work of fixing their relationship; even now, they haven’t met Molly and Lucy.

It’s because of the Weasley cousin they never talk about. The accountant.

Percy knows that it’s perfectly normal. Many wizarding children don’t exhibit any magic until they are at least seven. But he also knows that every single person in his family was levitating toys (Bill, Ron and Ginny) or stopping spilled milk in mid-air (him) or shooting sparks (Charlie and the twins) by the time they were three.

Molly and Lucy had done nothing magical so far. Nothing at all. And Percy knows, in his heart of hearts, that if anyone makes them feel inferior, if anyone dares to say anything against them, he will go the Dark Lord route and kill every single person prejudiced against squibs. He might kill every single wizard and witch and eradicate all magic, so his girls won’t feel inferior to anyone. He found in himself the strength to forgive the man than took Audrey’s life, but he won’t do the same for the person who speaks against his children. He can’t.

On Christmas Percy reluctantly agrees to go to England with the girls because Charlie promises he will be there too. It is not easy. It is, in fact, very, very difficult and tense. He is forever grateful at Lee Jordan, who is glued to Fred’s hip cracking jokes and defusing tension. Also, Angelina Johnson takes George and Ginny to the kitchen and informs them they are the biggest idiots she has ever had the misfortune of meeting and that helps to avoid anyone saying something unforgivable they will regret their whole life. On Christmas’ Eve Harry Potter takes everyone’s wands because he is Harry Potter “and I do what I want” which means no one hexes anyone and they can overindulge the punch.

Oh, why bother? The whole thing is terrible and awkward and it hurts. But it is a necessary painful step, either to fix things with time or to say that he tried, actually tried, and never look back at this moment with regret.

Also, he gets to meet with Oliver. It turns out that Oliver hadn’t noticed the girls’ lack of magic, but he also doesn’t care. Why would he care? Are you- are you supposed to care? Is this another thing Oliver missed because he only thinks about Quidditch? What’s wrong with not having magic in any case? Oliver’s mother is muggle and it is agreed that she is wonderful.

(Even Potter says so. Percy has no idea of when Harry Potter met Oliver’s mum, but he speaks of her in the highest terms).

You can read about what happened next on issues of 32, 33 & 34 of Alakazam as well as special issues 17, 21, 22 and 25. Draco Malfoy earns 1.5 million galleons with issue 33, setting a record for most successful print in wizarding history. Then he obliterates that record with a single stolen picture of Percy and Oliver’s wedding. He committed around a dozen crimes to get that picture, got drunk on champagne and victory and asked Harry Potter to marry him.

(He also donated all the money to a newly created society for the support and trade education of squibs, but only two people in the world know that).

#asks #percy weasley #oliver wood #Anonymous #vese: dad percy

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risesonthecourt · 4 years

Note

Asahi and Noya for ship meme!

General:

How long will they last? - Honestly I think these two can go one of two ways. Either they’re endgame, that one couple that people don’t quite understand how they never even fight but they work so well and it just keeps working no matter what. Or, they face a really big issue early on - like wanting to do very different things after graduation - and can’t get through it. If that happens though, they’d both regret not trying harder, and best case get back together later one.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I don’t think it takes long, it’s almost love at first sight, but it takes them both a while to realise it’s anything other than admiration, and even longer to confess.

How was their first kiss? - Kind of a mess! Noya was probably a bit too enthusiastic, and Asahi was probably too nervous, so it didn’t go very well. But they learned pretty quickly.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Probably Asahi. I feel like Noya would have been so happy with them dating he kinda...forgot marriage was an option. Like, what they had was so good so he forgot there was another level they could go to. Not that it changes much between them anyway.

Who is the best man/men? - Well, this one’s easy. Noya would have Tanaka. Asahi would have Daichi and/or Suga.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? -If they have one at all, it’s Kiyoko. But they might not have one.

Who did the most planning? - Again, probably Asahi. He would have wanted to make at least their suits, if not also the outfits for their groomsmen and possible bridesmaid ...groomsmaid? So he’d have had to make sure they worked with all the decor and everything. Plus, he’s kind of more organised than Noya - but Noya still got his say in pretty much everything.

Who stressed the most? -Asahi. Hands down.

How fancy was the ceremony? - They go elegant, but small. Family and close friends, nothing too crazy. Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -Well, they probably wouldn’t have invited many people, but it was less ‘we don’t want you here’ and more ‘we didn’t want more than x number of people and you didn’t make the cut’.

Sex:

Who is on top? - In the most literal sense, Noya XD Asahi doesn’t want to crush him. In the actual sense, they probably switch, but Asahi’s definitely happier letting Noya take the reigns either way.

Who is the one to instigate things? - They both do, but Noya’s louder about it. Asahi’s got his little signs to let Noya know he’s in the mood, but Noya will just say it, or plop himself in Asahi’s lap for kisses and grinding.

How healthy is their sex life? - They probably do it most days if they aren’t too busy. Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? -That depends. They’ve both got tricks to bring the other off faster, and if they’re going slow they drag it out. Early on in their relationship though, neither one lasts very long at all, but they build up.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? -Absolutely, unless one of them is specifically spoiling the other.

How rough are they in bed? - It varies, but they’re both strong and have plenty of stamina sooo, Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - None.

How many children will they adopt? - Either none, or about 3. It’s all or nothing with these two and they’d definitely take siblings if they wanted to adopt.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Asahi, at least at first. He’s got lots of practice from helping his parents with his younger siblings. But they’re pretty good at taking turns.

Who is the stricter parent? - Hahahahaha neither one of them is strict. Asahi can’t be mean to his kids and Noya gets caught up in the excitement. They only tell the kids off if they did something wrong on purpose, but punishments don’t really happen often.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Asahi.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Asahi, but Noya probably made them.

Who is the more loved parent? - Noya overall, but the kids adore Asahi too.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - They both do!

Who cried the most at graduation? -Asahi.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -They both would.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - It’s Noya or they get takeout, Asahi’s such a bad cook.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? -Neither one is really picky, but Asahi’s not a huge fan of trying new things.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Whichever one has time, but they like going together.

How often do they bake desserts? - Not very often. They’ll try if it’s a special occasion.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -Is this even a question, we’ve seen Noya at a BBQ XD

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Noya, he likes to go for big surprises.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Noya.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? -Asahi.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Asahi.

Who is really against chores? - Noya.

Who cleans up after the pets? - I don’t know if they’d get pets, but both of them - whoever has the time.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - They both do it sometimes, but it’s usually Noya.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Asahi.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Asahi. (he saves found money up to buy treats for Noya though)

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Asahi.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They like to go together, but if they can’t, Noya goes for a run with the dog.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Noya takes any excuse to put decorations anyway, so every holiday he goes wild - but the biggest decor goes up at Halloween and xmas.

What are their goals for the relationship? - They just want to be happy and look after each other. Also, if they get together while still at highschool, the main goal is to get through their own independant post-graduation goals without splitting up.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Definitely Asahi. Noya’s such an early riser and Asahi is not.

Who plays the most pranks? - Noya.

#morderdame #asanoya #I love these two so much #and thank you for sending it in #Ahh it got so long though XD

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quatschmachen · 3 years

Text

Bitchumen

A nice heartwarming sort of xmas fic. Phone call takes place in 2000, the xmas in 1999.

Edward rants to someone about something.

XXX “Right, like you can actually understand what’s going on.” The sarcasm dripped thick like bitumen from Edward’s tongue, the sticky anger clinging to every surface.“You treating me with the polite decency of a stranger doesn’t actually make you a good person, Calvin – it doesn’t even make you a friend.”

Blowing a breath out, Edward rubbed his face, his shoulders stuck between wanting to spike up in stiff defense or simply drop down in defeat.

“Which is why you get the couch,” here his arms crossed, brooking no argument, “I don’t even know why you thought it was going to be fine just showing up, months after being an asshole thinking I would even put you up. I just know Edith would have you out on your ass, and honestly you’re lucky you got me when I was even in town. Hold on… Mr. Big Shot, you have enough money to get a fucking hotel room, why the shit am I even considering you to stay here with me? Why the hell am I not throwing you out on your ass?”

Another breath out, and Edward sighed, “No, this won’t do.”

With a slump, he plopped onto the couch, and glanced around his small living room, wondering why the hell he was even practicing this as a conversation. Calvin hadn’t dropped by in months. It wasn’t like he was going to any time soon. The lines had been clearly drawn, and even an entitled oil cowboy wasn’t going to pretend everything hadn’t changed.Apparently the weeks off were just giving him time to go crazy. Usually this would be the time he would jet off to Montreal, but instead he was stuck in his house losing it. He was worried if he showed up on Étienne’s doorstep he would just start crying. Definitely not a thing to do.

His thoughts were disrupted as the telephone began to ring. With a sigh, he rolled off the couch and grabbed it. “Hello?”

“Eddy!” Étienne’s voice rang out through the phone and wrapped around him like a warm hug.

“’Tienne,” Edward breathed out, automatically relaxing, he flomped down into the seat beside the telephone.

“I’ve been calling for weeks and thought you had died,” he joked, but the edge of worry was still there.

“Sort of had.” Edward murmured, “Actually I sort of moved out, I guess. Mac came down in January and I ended up moving north with him and picked up a hitch. Just got off and am laying around at home too dead to do anything.”

“Hitch?”

“Uhm working in the oil patch. Living at camp, pretty much isolated from the world…”

“Surrounded by big burly men? You could have at least sent me a postcard, Eddy,” Étienne teased, but there was an underlying tone Edward had difficulty deciphering, “I was thinking if it was my turn to come pull you out of the swamp of misery.”

“I guess I could have but… to be honest it all sort of just happened?” Edward sighed, “And once I was up in Fort Mac, and then out working, it’s difficult to really communicate. Just work till you drop, then into the camp to exercise or watch porn.”

“What? They actually supply porn?”

“And sometimes even prostitutes, but that’s apparently not truly allowed…” Edward paused, “but unfortunately no prostitutes were of interest to me.”

“How unfortunate. I was up to my eyeballs with inconvenient work,” Étienne paused, “Christmas was about the same as always, Suzette passes along her best wishes. The food was divine, and I ended up losing an arm-wrestling match to Élyse.”

Edward laughed, “What were the stakes?”

“Hmmm, well she got to eat my slice of cake; it was some terrible cake Samuel had made – yes I know, please believe me when I say he made this cake. Truly no real artisan of food would have produced something as terrible as that cake. I think it ostensibly was supposed to be a fruit cake – with a thick layer of chalky marzipan on top. Somehow he managed to over-alcohol a cake while having it be dry at the same time. I was ready to submit it to the Guinness Book of Records…”

“So why was Élyse battling you for your slice?”

“You see, I may have already had a fight or two with Samuel – he has some new boytoy, and he was being so insipid and sickly about it, I may have been ready to fight over any little thing. Élyse figured if I got rid of the slice via arm wrestling it could possibly save Christmas or something. Yadda yadda. Apparently no one seems to enjoy the Christmases when Samuel breaks down in angry tears and yells for an hour – not sure why when I find that sooooooo entertaining.”

“God I wish I was there for that… seeing Samuel’s face as if he was punched when he tries to cry elegantly is so therapeutic…” Edward murmured, “I feel like my Christmas was just me being the crying one.”

“Crying? What happened, Édouard?”

Squiggling in his seat, Edward wondered how much he should tell. A part of him wanted to spill it all, but another part wondered if that would be too much of an inconvenience. How much of his stupid worries did Étienne really want? Closing his eyes, Edward pretended they were in the same room together, maybe even touching, head on Étienne’s shoulder, not necessarily looking at the man, but bodies snuggled up, his hair getting played with. Those small stolen moments of bliss, where the worries got spilled, and he didn’t worry about the consequences.

“Christmas was so awkward; I don’t even know where to begin. The entire time I desperately wished I had gone to yours… it felt like the last time I try to be a functional person among them… hell, I only went because I thought maybe I could improve relations with people… start the new millennium off with some hope about the future.”

It really had been terrible. They had held it at the ranch – Bert’s ranch. Why the hell did he think hanging out with people at the ranch would be a good idea? Surrounded by people you probably should know better, but in reality only held passing pleasantries with. The one bright spot had been Calvin. Calvin who seemed to be best buddies with everyone who arrived, Calvin who smiled brightly at him and argued with him, distracting him from the knot of anxiety he was harbouring over whether he should come out during Christmas or hold off until New Years?

He was attempting small talk with Jo, who was talking at him about how they should go shopping together (did she not do other stuff?), when he overheard Bert loudly say “I personally don’t think those fags should be given the deal.”

It felt like time had slowed down for Edward. No one seemed to pause or care. Orson in fact nodded along with Bert’s rant, sipping his Sprite. Jo continued on with her plans for her next visit, and somewhere nearby Red laughed at a joke Madeline made. As he observed the room to see if there was any reaction to Bert’s loud rant, everyone was involved in their own conversations. Calvin was in the distance deep in conversation with someone he could not quite make out.

Right, this was not the place. He still wanted turkey dinner, and as he dimly nodded along to Jo, Edward felt small. He had no allies here. Well, that wasn’t true. He was sure Edith supported him, but one in how many? Edward didn’t want to ‘ruin Christmas’.

“And you know how I’ve been thinking about coming out and stuff, but uh, can I just say no? If you were in the room you would understand – seriously Étienne, these people who claim to be my so called family would just as well lynch me as their Christmas bonfire – I dunno they could just douse me in bitumen and light me up human torch Christian martyr style for bringing the faggotry home for Christmas… Soooo I didn’t want to ruin Christmas and make the event awkward for everyone,” Edward related over the phone.

“And then horror of horrors, Orson managed to corner me in what he thinks is jovial conversation. It felt like everything he had to say to me was condescension masked in care and concern – honestly I am not sure how he even manages that. I think he felt like it was his civic duty to carry on a conversation with me. He even reminisced about the temple open house he dragged me to. Ok honestly I went to the open house out of curiosity, to see what sort of cult he’s in, but I didn’t think he would already be reminiscing about something that had literally JUST happened. Temple? Yeah, a Mormon temple just opened up in my city… so it meant I had the pleassssuuure of Orson coming up for the Open House and dragging me along. Stay with me? God no, please ‘Tienne I’m not that insane, what would I do if he snooped and found my big old dildo? Yeah he was staying with some church people since he was volunteering and such.”

“I think I wanted to die when he sat down at the piano – yeah, I didn’t even think Bert ever tuned that thing, but knowing Orson maybe he came extra early to tune it, and began banging out the Christmas carols. Like he’s talented and all, and I don’t mind a round of Jingle Bells, but he really has this creepy 1950s vibe and I wanted to roll my eyes when his eyes started to shine with unshed tears at Away in a Manger and O Holy Night.” Edward twisted the cord around his finger, as he listened to Étienne chuckle. Apparently the tactic was avoid talking about himself and instead rant about goody-two-shoes Orson? “You should count yourself lucky you don’t have to deal with him on a regular basis… mmm? Yeah he is kind, considerate and is literally the guy to volunteer for the worst tasks but there is something about him where he is a little too perfect? Like somehow can’t let my hair down around him type of deal. Which makes him perfect for Lilith – as she always has her hair up, haha.”

Edward had relaxed into his seat, somehow feeling lighter, as the words slipped out, “And then New Years was somehow worse… no I wasn’t at the ranch. I probably should have taken you up on your fireworks show, because the one here is uh Edmonton grade. You know – trying real hard but still somehow failing to miss the mark,” he chuckled at his own joke, not picking up on the strained tension from Étienne over the phone. “Calvin came up, which surprised me since I assumed he would want to be gallivanting about in Calgary, but apparently he wanted to spend it with his best buddy which is me? Somehow? Don’t worry Teddy, you’re still my best friend…” Edwards voice lowered, as he realized what he was about to say, admit. Pause. “So how was your New Years? Aahh why are you yelling – oh you’re saying I didn’t mention why New Years sucked? It’s because it wasn’t with you, darlin’.”

Somehow Edward couldn’t do it. Couldn’t quite bring himself around to admitting he had come out to Calvin. How he had fallen into a depression when he got outright rejected. “Hmm? Well, how else can I put it… while I could have been kissing you and sucking your cock, I instead got to hold Calvin’s hair back as he literally puked in my poinsettias… yes… mmhmm. The poor plant didn’t make it.”

Tangling his finger in the phone cord, Edward found himself relaxing as Étienne told him about his New Years event, feeling like he had dodged a bullet. The other man’s voice soothing him. Trying to be home for Christmas and the New Years - attempt to enter the new millennium as a man of his own place, had been a major mistake.

He should have kept to his original plans of escaping to Montreal, escaping his own clay dirt to mold himself into his own dream man.Sometimes he wondered if he loved Étienne or simply wanted to be Étienne. A complicated mixture of feelings confusing him ever more when it came to that man.

“Visit? I would love to visit… oh wait, you want to come visit me? When? Hmm let me… check my calendar.” Edward sat up, looking around, and then picked up the phone, carefully picking his way into the kitchen, so he could squint at the calendar. His telephone cord ran out though, so he had to do an awkward strain, trying not to unplug the phone, while seeing his own scribbled-in life.

Well… the only thing really was his work shifts. Everything else a blank. “How does this time work? You’re booked up. Alright…” Edward and Étienne haggled over dates, until somehow, it lined up that Edward was going to Montreal. A subtle shift, but as Edward said with some practicality – that’s just how it lined up. As he hung up the phone, he wrote down the date of his trip, feeling better. Now in between work was a small bright spot, one small thing to look forward to.He was not as friendless as he thought, and, perhaps with enough courage, he could finish his New Years story.

#quatschfic #pc: edmonton #pc: montreal #pc: calgary #pc: alberta #pc: cardston #bitchumen

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elliethesuperfruitlover · 3 years

Text

yes i did this during my lunch break (and in english)

General:

How long will they last? - Mm, if not lifelong than like a good amount of years. They occasionally also see other people though (poly coded)

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - T had to think about actually dating Klaus before getting into it. She looked into his past, everything. She didn’t want to be hurt. Klaus, however was like “mm, personality, shes pretty, smart, im in.”

How was their first kiss? - It was pleasant, it was random, after T met Klaus’ siblings. It wasn’t out of nowhere, but she was like :Thank you for introducing me to your broken family. *smooch*”Casual, but not casual.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Klaus did. It wasn’t big either, he was just like “do weddings appeal to you?” and she’s always been on the fence about getting married, but she figured to might as well do it.

Who is the best man/men? - Klaus had Diego as his best man actually.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - T had her mom as her maid of honor.

Who did the most planning? - They both did equal planning. They’d talk it over and everything, but T likes to have everything exact, so she looked over everything, over and over until she found it fine enough.

Who stressed the most? - Klaus, actually. T enjoys putting things in order, and planning, but Klaus was worried about how everything would go. He wanted to make sure everything went right, and that most of all, T was happy.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. It was a forest wedding, so kinda big, but small enough as to where it felt special.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?- Anyone that even remotely made T feel uncomfortable. If they were gonna cause issues, they can do it elsewhere. The trees didn’t want to hear arguing. (her one aunt who didn’t want her marrying a white man)

Sex:

Who is on top? - Topazi Um, they’re both switches, but it honestly depends on the mood. If one of them had a rough day, then the other would be the top.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Either of them, it depends.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now. One look and the clothes are off (or on they’re kinky fucks)

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head. T’s fairly kinky, and so is Klaus, so they combine it to create just *sighs*. Their closets have a specific section for sex toys, spicy clothes.

How long do they normally last? - It depends. If they start when they’re high energy, it’ll be for longer, but if it’s later in the day, or after work, it’s for less time. an hour or so.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Mm, sometimes. If T gets frustrated with herself, and she might be in a bit of a tizzy, Klaus’ll step in and she’ll focus on his pleasure instead of her own. But T usually has more than Klaus, usually 2 more.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. If the mood calls for it, Topazi won’t hesitate to absolutely ruin Klaus. She really likes it rough, and so does Klaus, but they like being gentle every now and then.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. T is touch oriented, and rarely ever doesn’t want to be touched in some way. She wants all of the hugs during aftercare, and Klaus is very happy to give it to her.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - None. T thought about having kids, but she doesn’t trust her body, or herself, so she just doesn’t do it.

How many children will they adopt? - They have pets. (a snake and two kitties)

Who is the stricter parent? - T. She’ll be like “Miko, I told you not to jump off the counter.” but Klaus is like “let him be, he’s just a little shaken up.” but no like water bottles, just a mild scolding.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - T used to do a lot of cooking, but Klaus also tag teams her. Especially if it’s a huge meal.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Klaus won’t do oatmeal, or anything mushy. But T is like “if this even looks wrong, I’m not eating it.” It doesn’t matter who cooks it though, she’ll eat from anyone, but if something looks or tastes different than how she’s used to eating it, she’ll eat some out of respect, but in the end may just get more safe things like water, fruit etc.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Both of them. T writes the list (bc she’s very detailed), and they both get half of the list and tag-team. But T has told Klaus what’s safe, what’s not, all that.

How often do they bake desserts? - Almost every weekend. They’re both a bit impulsive, Klaus more than T, so they have an entire fridge dedicated to baking items.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - T rarely ever eats red meat, and Klaus’ll eat anything, so it’s a big mix between the two of them. She tries to get everything balanced, then she gets cravings and everything is thrown out of the window.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Klaus. He likes repaying T, and whenever T tries to do something nice, something pops up and she can’t. It’s also best for him to do tiny things, not big things, so she doesn’t feel like it’s a competition between the two of them.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Klaus. Topazi wants to go out and everything, and she’s impulsive, but never really does anything about it.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Klaus because he almost fucked the kitchen up when he was high and forgot to put his blunt out (the paper towels caught fire, yada yada)

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - T does a lot of cleaning. Not that she feels like she has to, she just enjoys it, plus it gives her a sense of completion.

Who is really against chores? - Klaus sometimes. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, they usually just creep up on him when he really doesn’t want to do them.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Both of them do it equally. Klaus moreso than T though, because one wrong inhale and she’s ill.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Klaus. He can forget about something and it’s just gone. His object permanence is shitty.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Neither of them. T likes company, and people over, but she does try to make sure no naughty things are left out for people to see.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - T almost threw it away, (it was balled up), but she was like “hmm my brain is trying to tell me something” so she was like “oh hells yeah money”

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Depends, but mostly Klaus, because he does his thinking in the shower (like his dad). T, however, knows she’s gonna look like a fucking cherry when she gets out, and she needs to keep her skin not flaky.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Um-. If they had a dog, it would be either one of them, but Klaus more often than T, because when she’s painting or gardening, she can’t be bothered to focus on anything other than what she’s doing at that moment.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Very lack-luster. For xmas, they have a tree, but T puts stupid shit around the house. For Easter, she painted an egg pink and labeled it as “the easter bunny’s left testicle” and for Halloween, they have a spooky corner. She can’t do pranks though, she understands them, but she’ll scream then immediately kick to defend herself.

What are their goals for the relationship? - T wants to enjoy what life she has with Klaus. She just wants someone to love her and keep her company.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Both of them. Topazi likes cuddles, and sometimes the sleep is so good you have to just stay down. Plus, she’s her own boss, and their animals are smarter than they initially thought, but if she hears the fucking snake tank open, her eyes are wide fucking open.

Who plays the most pranks? - Even though she gets a bit frustrated from them, T likes to do cute pranks. You know those toys that you throw and they stick to something, she’ll do those. And Klaus throws like sticky tack at the wall. Those she can handle. But she doesn’t understand the purpose of someone fake sneezing on her. (like me, please dont do that shit, i dont like it)

#topazi marshall

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myfalsedevotion · 3 years

Note

good morning vicky!!! for the questions for authors i would love to hear about 5, 7, 12, 15, 18 and 25 for athob! (honestly debated just sending you 1-30 but i controlled myself) 😌💙

Hiii! Sorry this is coming so late in the day 😅😅 Thank you so so much for the questions Maya 🥺💙 Here we go!

Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

For All the Hues I’d say my room, cuppa tea, rain. Sometimes I lit lavender candles. If it’s not raining, I usually use MyNoise hahahaha I don’t know what it is about the sound of rain, but it always helps me write :3 Have a couple playlists on spotify too, but I usually just start singing the songs and thus I stop writing hahahah

I remember writing most of Hourglass on train rides or subway rides to class, though 🤔. I guess it depends on the fic hahahah

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

I usually write dialogue pretty quickly (because I’m used to screenplays), so when it’s time to “fill in” the gaps between dialogue I procrastinate a lot. Like you wouldn’t believe 😅

Also, since I’m a very slow slow writer, (this is going to sound super fake deep probably) but I realise some actions the characters take that I planned at the start, I just don’t agree with them anymore? And they feel stupid, and childish and for some reason that puts me off of writing so much. I struggle a lot with writing feelings, decisions or even POVs that I can’t understand/relate to anymore. And I know that makes me the definition of a pretty bad writer, but I just can’t write something I don’t feel like it’s the best/right decision for the character. And of course, that only comes with perspective (after months/years), and I hate it, because I know the characters don’t have that perspective in that moment and that’s why they’re acting like they are, and that I shouldn’t change the planned storyline in any way. So yeah, I struggle writing through those moments because of that. That was probably not worded right and now I’ve confused you even more hahahah Sorry for the rant 😅

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

I think I’ve said this before somewhere (maybe we’ve talked about it?) but even though I absolutely adore reading tropes, I never think I’d be able to pull any of them off? Like yeah, I’d love to write a fake dating AU cos drama and mutual pining, but I’ve just read so many amazing fake dating aus and I am fairly confident that I can’t do it hahahah Maybe in the future I’ll try, I don’t know hahaha

15. A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

Listen. I’m a Film Studies graduate. I’ve already thought about shots and colour theory and composition and scenes and everything I’d love to see for All The Hues of Blue like 1276351827635187264 times. I have a background writing scripts, I can assure you writing ATHOB was basically envisioning scenes and storyboards and then filling up the action and thoughts and inner monologues in between the dialogue hahahah. So if a producer told me they wanted to make it a film? You bet I’d be thrilled (and also demand I be part of the production hahahahaha) Never gonna happen though 🤣🤣🤣

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Okay, I think I’ve talked to you about the last scene in All The Hues before, and how I think I will never be able to top that “You’re golden.” last line. I’m definitely proud of that one.

But there’s this bit from Calum on Chapter 7 from Rare as Gold, that starts with:

Calum had never thought he would meet someone that would know how to act around him when his mind was playing tricks. Michael knew how, but he had learnt with time. With Ashton, it seemed easy in a way that was almost scary. Like the older anticipated Calum’s needs even before he did. Or maybe it was just due to them being so honest and open with each other that Ashton knew how to read him. Or the fact that the few times he didn’t know, he asked what Calum needed.

and then he goes on an inner monologue about the metaphysics of the soul and soulmates and superdeterminism and the universe being alive that had me bursting with excitement once I finished writing it. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling I got once I finished writing that whole bit. Which wasn’t planned, I just had something like, “fill this with inner monologue before going back to Ash”. And I know this is the one that I’m most likely going to be called fake deep over, and I just don’t care because I love it so, so much.

I remember texting that whole chunk of text to friends and saying “is this like…too much? Is this too much for a fic where it doesn’t even advance plot?”. There were mixed opinions, my best friend said it was indeed too much, but she’s never read any of my writing in its entirety, and she didn’t understand how this could fit with the previous inner monologue I had established for Calum. Another friend did think it was perfect for Calum. I went over it for a couple of days, and I still loved it too much, so I decided to keep it in. So… idk. hahahah

25. Which idea came to you first in All The Hues of Blue?

Okay, this is a funny one. So, I think I’ve told you about how All The Hues was supposed to have been a one-shot? 😂😂 I still have the very first draft where I wrote down ideas, it’s titled:

I am cringing as I read it hahahha But basically years before, I had seen this one post on tumblr about a prompt featuring a Michael Bublé song and being in a retail shop? And I couldn’t for the life of me remember the exact prompt, and since Christmas season was close, I just took his Xmas album and run with it 😂 😂 This is a sad story but it’s true and I can’t never stop laughing when I think about how much ATHOB means to me and how stupid was it’s conception as a fic hahahha

Hope these answeres weren’t too boring 😅 Thank you so much for the ask!! 💙💙💙

#ask game #my writing #all the hues of blue #rare as gold #hourglass

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izzy-b-hands · 3 years

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TW for family stuff under the cut and Emotions and shit, also tw for guns (talking abt them, nothing violent happened, but the topic came up.), tw for suicide mention, tw for talk of child abuse, tw alcohol and alcoholism, and tw for talk of trauma in general; this is basically a mixed salad of Shit My Therapist Is Gonna Need to Hear so...

yeah. If any of that stuff isn’t your jam or you know would trigger you, pass this one by.

I don’t know how to deal with this stuff on my own. I try, but I feel like I do a poor job of it, and all the same, I know I need to deal with it on my own, but I gotta vent somewhere.

Like, okay, he got me something cute (a Freddie Funko Pop, those aren’t my fave things in the world because oh god that’s so much plastic so I’m never gonna be like a collector of them per se, but I’ve got a few, and this one is adorable), and that was sweet of him

But the energy in the room was so fuckin weird all the same. I thanked him (and meant it honestly and earnestly and tried to show that), but he seemed lowkey upset abt something, and got more like that the more Mum and I talked abt work stuff (she brought it up and I was like Oh Thank God because there’s a topic that’s easy to just banter on, ya know?) and didn’t directly include him in the convo (or in my case just sort of nodded and smiled to acknowledge when he said stuff that tbh, was just flat out fucked up. Jokes about how ‘well your boss should have been beat as a kid. You gotta beat ‘em like you mean it, you know’ and look, I actively am incredibly frustrated by my boss, but I would never wish anything like that upon her or anyone else, and hearing him make that joke multiple times just left me feeling sick.)

And like I would have been ready to deal with this as it was by the end, weird feeling and uncomfortable as it was

but he just had to ask me to go to the gun range with him sometime. And doesn’t want to take no for an answer (but he had to for now, because ngl I started to shut down and stopped responding to ‘oh you just don’t know what fun you’re missing out on’ and ‘a good son would take his mother to the range’-and hey excuse me what in the ever loving fuck does that mean??? that’s so fucking weird??? this isn’t going to the fucking zoo, and also I hate hate hate hate how he’s tying in the smallest bit of respect by not misgendering me with something I’m traumatized abt)

And mum (who knows abt my PTSD, and has been told by my therapist how and why I’m not comfortable with guns, all the minute fuckin details of my trauma) fucking agreed with him. Said she expects me to go out to the range with them.

I can’t decide if I wanna puke or cry or both. the idea of so much as physically holding a gun, let alone using one....I can’t handle it. I’m just sitting here quiet and put some random movie on and plan to pull up a video game but in the background of it all is my brain just screaming at me that now I’m in danger because they have guns and they want me to be using them and they don’t care that I can’t be around them (I know if it hit a suicidal patch and had a gun around, that would be it. It nearly was, multiple times, when I was a teen and we lived with my ex-stepdad and his multiple unlocked gun cabinets.) That as soon as someone mentions having a gun on them or in the home, I immediately start rechecking exit routes (I do that just in general all the time, but once you add in that factor, a recheck gets done with configuring how to get out if one exit or another would be blocked) and think about how I could fight them off if they tried to use them against me.

I don’t understand how my mum could go through the same thing, of my ex stepdad constantly implying that if we tried to leave he would shoot us in our beds or as we tried to go (and I still feel so fucking lucky that he didn’t; that we brought family and friends with once we started moving out so we were never alone there with him, and in between we stayed at my grandparent’s house) and apparently just...not give a shit? Not be afraid of guns and what they can do and people can do with them (and will do over the tiniest fucking things, no less.) I so much as see a concealed carry license in someone’s wallet or the edge of a holster on their belt and my flight or fight is ready to fucking go, and even after years of therapy, I’m still fighting off panic attacks in those moments.

People always try and pare this down to my feelings on gun rights, but I’m not getting into that now, because that’s not what this is about and due to all this that’s all fucking Complex As Fuck for me. I don’t get to have some bland, calmly figured out opinion on that shit because I’m constantly prepping how I would escape my home, my job, if someone I know who has guns finally freaks the fuck out over something small and comes in with them blazing, because everyone I’ve known who has guns almost always has also turned out to have major anger issues bubbling under the surface and poor self-control.

And I can’t say a word to mum about this. She’s coming home later tonight because the bf insisted she spend the actual night xmas eve with me (why, I don’t understand. She’ll be here for like...an hour??? and then go???? but whatever.)

And I’m gonna have to pretend my brain isn’t screaming at me to get somewhere safe (and where is that, now? Not home. Not at my grandparents, never was at my aunt’s, and even if I had friends in town anymore, it wouldn’t be safe to see them due to the pandemic, and they’d be with their own families on top of that.)

All I’m asking for is for them to respect my trauma. Talk about the guns if you must, but don’t ask me about them. Don’t ask me to go to the range. Don’t ask me anything about them or in regards to them, and we could probably be fine.

My head hurts and my therapist and I had agreed I was doing well enough in managing my issues with booze that I could have like one glass of whisky or something to celebrate the holiday (just the one, and no more), but now I don’t think I can even look at a drink without getting drunk to try and shut my brain up so I can get through the rest of the night. I won’t, because I’ve been working hard to do better with that, in fact I just won’t have any.

But goddamn what a fucking xmas eve this has become.

#text post #mums the word #tw guns #tw suicide mention #tw trauma #tw child abuse #tw alcohol #tw alcoholism #I was having a good day #the first good and calm xmas eve in years #why couldn't it have stayed that way

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years

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SO’s Guide to JAM (The Office)

And no, I don’t mean preservatives. ;) For @redheadgleek - because she wanted to know.

So - the thing about the Office is that, unlike lots of sitcoms where you can jump right in during the middle, The Office (at least at the beginning) benefits from character development - and a lot of things later on don’t resonate as well if you don’t have the context and backstory to set them up. There are plenty of things to skip, but it’s worth sitting through some of the uncomfortable things to appreciate the story. That said - hopefully, this guide will help you decide if you want to pass or not.

I am going to use a ** to designate episodes I think you should watch.

Season 1

I think Season 1 is the hardest for people to get through. They were very much trying to model the British version, but the British version is very dark at times, and the American version just won’t allow itself to get that way, so season 1 feels really weird tonally -- and honestly different than the rest of the series. Plenty of people skip it all together, but there are some things worth watching.

Pilot - They used the script from the British pilot, and even that was kind of bland. I find this episode boring, and while it introduces Jim and Pam, it’s entirely skippable.

Diversity Day - So, there’s a lot of cringe here, but this is what made me really enjoy Jim and Pam, because Jim’s entire day sucks, and then at the very end, he and Pam have a special, sweet moment. This worked for me, but I can understand wanting to move past all the Michael.

Health Care - There are some fun Jim/Pam hijinx against Dwight in this one. The Michael plot is entirely skippable if that’s too much. But not huge in the Jam story.

**The Alliance - I would recommend this one, if only because the show comes back to it a lot. Jim and Dwight form an alliance, which is really Jim messing with Dwight. Again - the Michael portion of this episode is entirely skippable - so you can fastforward through that if you don’t want to endure it.

Basketball - Everyone plays basketball. It’s not really that interesting - but there are some flirty moments between Jim and Pam.

Hot Girl - I think this is the funniest of Season 1. Amy Adams shows up to sell purses at the office. There are great little Jam moments, but the only thing to really take away from this one is that Jim ends up asking Amy Adams out, which sets up season 2.

Season 2

Season 2 gets rid of a lot of the cringiest stuff from season 1, and lets the show be itself. While there are definitely Jam heavy/focused episodes, a lot of why the story line works is that there are little moments that build up in each episode that make it worthwhile.

**The Dundies - This is a great introduction to the show. Michael is more tolerable than he usually is. A ton of great Jam stuff in this one. Really a must see.

Sexual Harassment - There is a lot of cringe in this one. However, Pam’s mom shows up, and there are a few smaller Jam moments.

**Office Olympics - Michael (and Dwight) are out of the office and everyone goofs off. It’s a fun episode, and the Michael subplot is entirely skippable (though it’s not really that bad)

The Fire - There’s a fire in the office, so everyone goes outside and they play games. Lots of fun Jam stuff, though nothing life changing. The Michael/Ryan stuff is a little awkward. But the episode is good at expanding all the side characters so it’s recommended, even if it’s not a must see.

Halloween - Michael has to fire someone, so it is cringy in that regard. Jim and Pam have a subplot of getting Dwight to go to another job, which leads to some delicious angst.

The Fight - Michael and Dwight physically fight. Jim and Pam kind of parallel with a mini-fight of their own. The episode as a whole I’m a little meh on, but if you just watch the Jam scenes, you’ll get what you need.

**The Client - Michael goes on a sales call - and is actually a good salesman. Meanwhile, the office reads a script Michael wrote. It’s great, classic Jam stuff in this one.

Performance Review - I personally find this one funny because it’s fallout from The Client, but not Jim/Pam heavy. They have a minor subplot where they prank Dwight.

**Email Surveillance - Not entirely essential, but Jim throws a BBQ at his house, and there’s some good development here. The Michael plot at improv can be completely fastforwarded through.

**Christmas Party - I actually used to find this episode difficult (until I became really desensitized to it), but it is sitting through the terrible Michael stuff to get to the Jam stuff that will be relevant for years to come.

**Booze Cruise - The office goes on a Booze Cruise. Yes - watch this, feel angst, feel joy, feel all the things.

The Injury - there’s really zero Jam in this, however, it is incredibly funny and Pam and Dwight become friends, and I love that. Oh, the plot is Michael cooks his foot. I do recommend it, even if it’s not essential.

**The Secret - Jim tells Michael his feelings for Pam. Yes, lots of Jam-y stuff in this.

The Carpet - Someone puts weird stuff on Michael’s carpet forcing Michael to work in the office. I like it - there’s a lot of good Jim stuff (and a lot of angst) but not a lot of Jam. The ending is classic, though.

Boys and Girls - Jan throws a women in the workplace seminar. There’s some good Pam development in this one, so I recommend at least watching the women scenes.

Valentine’s Day - There is zero Jam stuff in it, but that’s the point. I think it’s really cool what they do with this - but not essential. However, it does have one of my favorite Pam/Dwight scenes.

Dwight’s Speech - Dwight wins salesman of the year. I’m a little meh on this one, too, tbh. Jim decides he’s not going to Pam’s wedding, but that’s the only Jam stuff in the episode.

Take Your Daughter to Work Day - People bring their kids to work. There’s some tiny bits of Jam in this one, but another I’m slightly ‘meh’ on.

Michael’s Birthday - No one pays attention to Michael on his birthday. Jim and Pam take a shopping trip that’s kinda cute, but there’s a lot of Michael pouting in this episode that makes it difficult.

**Drug Testing - Dwight finds a joint and grills the office. Has one of the best Jam subplots of the show.

**Conflict Resolution - Michael decides to resolve all the office conflicts. Of course this goes over well. Not a ton of Jam, but some relevant stuff, and some fantastic Jim stuff.

**Casino Night -- Yes, watch this. Enjoy this. One of the best Jam episodes, and one of the best episodes in the series hands down.

Season 3

The thing about Season 3 is -- while Season 2 was kind of Jim’s story, Season 3 is Pam’s story - and it’s one of my favorite arcs of any TV show. Again, while not all the episodes are essential, Pam (and Jam) get developed in every single episode - so I do recommend seeing all of Seasons 2 and 3, but it’s not required.

Gay Witch Hunt - Michael finds out Oscar is gay. Jim and Pam miss each other. Not essential, and does contain one of the most cringy moments of the show, but it does show the resolution of Casino Night, and you’ll probably end up watching it anyway, even if I don’t mark it as essential.

The Convention - Michael and Dwight meet up with Jim at a convention. Pam goes on a date. Good episode, little things sprinkled throughout.

The Coup - Dwight tries to get Michael fired. This one is dark. Pam gets new clothes, Jim plays Call of Duty. It’s well written, but again, very dark.

Grief Counseling - Michael is upset that his former boss has died, and so Pam helps him grieve. Great Pam development in this one.

**The Initiation - Dwight takes Ryan to his beet farm. I love this episode, it’s hilarious. There’s also a huge Jim/Pam thing at the end, worth watching.

Diwali - Kelly invites the office to her Diwali celebration. This one is a bit cringy. Some good bits, though, with Pam coming out of her shell a bit.

**Branch Closing & The Merger - kind of a two parter. I recommend both of them, because they’re both good episodes (though The Merger has some high cringe) and some good Jam development going on.

The Convict - Michael finds out one of the employees has been to prison. I don’t think it’s as cringy as it might seem. Jim gets Andy to hit on Pam by using all the things she hates - it’s classic, and the main plot can be skipped if you only want to see the Jam stuff.

**A Benihana Christmas - It’s hard to explain - lots of Xmas things going on - and possibly the best Xmas special they do, so I do recommend it.

Back from Vacation - Mostly about Michael trying to cover up the fact that he sent a nude photo of his gf to the company. It’s not that bad. There is an essential Pam moment where she breaks down and is comforted by Dwight, but the rest of the episode isn’t essential at all.

**Traveling Salesman & The Return - All the salesmen pair up to go on sales calls, and Oscar returns to the office. Another 2 parter of sorts. Andy gets a bit much, but otherwise, they’re really solid and entertaining episodes across the board, with a bit of Jam development.

**Ben Franklin - Michael throws a bachelor party in the office, and to even it out, throws a bachelorette party for the girls. Their stripper is Ben Franklin. Some cringy stuff here, but not too bad - and I think the Pam story line is worth it.

Phyllis’s Wedding - this has some of the most cringy stuff in the show. However, if you skip the wedding and go to the reception, there’s some great stuff -- including some delicious angst for Jam.

Business School - A majority of this is Michael going to Ryan’s business school, and Jim convincing Dwight he turned into a vampire. Not a lot here - but the ending with Pam’s art show is great in Pam’s arc.

Cocktails - Michael, Dwight, and Jim go out to a corporate party while Pam and the rest of the office go out for drinks. I’m a bit meh on the episode, but some good Pam development in this one.

The Negotiation - A lot of it is focused on Darryl wanting a raise, and therefor Michael asking for a raise. This ties up some Pam story loose threads so worth it for that.

Safety Training - Like the Injury, this is not essential at all, but I think it’s one of the funniest episodes, and I do recommend it on that merit alone.

Product Recall - the office deals with having to recall a product. There is really zero Jam stuff in it. This is really the only one of seasons 1-3 that I have a tendency to skip when I’m just wanting to watch for Jam related stuff. But it’s not that bad (comparatively to stuff later on).

**Women’s Appreciation - Phyllis is flashed, so this leads to Michael wanting to appreciate women more. It’s actually very good, and a great Pam story line.

**Beach Games -- Yes, watch this episode, it’s amazing, and possibly one of my favorites -- plus one of the best Pam moments on the show.

**The Job -- also yes, watch this, it’s kind of the conclusion of the original Jam arc.

I can’t stress it enough, though, in order for The Job to land, I really, really recommend watching all of seasons 2 and 3.

Okay, so because there are a lot of episodes here, and seasons 4+ are a little different, I’m gonna change up this guide a little.

Season 4

Season 4 is shorter because the writer’s strike happened then. There are a lot of delicious Jam moments, and the show is still functioning pretty well as a sitcom (though it steers into more cartoonish when Michael drives literally into a lake). I recommend watching the whole season, but highlight episodes are ---

Fun Run (not the best - but great Jam stuff, and resolution to The Job); Money (Jam visits Dwight’s farm); Local Ad (it’s just a fun episode); Dinner Party (Michael and Jan host a dinner party - considered one of the best episodes of the show, but I think that hinges on knowing the characters, so don’t start here, lol); Chair Model (Michael is annoying but great Jam stuff); Goodbye Toby (season finale, lots of good Jam stuff.

Season 5

Season 5 I also recommend watching all of. Jam stuff in pretty much every episode, and it’s still a funny and solid show. However, highlight episodes include --

Weight Loss; Crime Aid; Customer Surveys; Business Trip; Frame Toby; The Surplus; Stress Relief; Lecture Circuit; The Michael Scott Paper Company Arc (Eps 5x20-5x25); Cafe Disco (one of my favorites), and Company Picnic.

Season 6

I feel like if you reach Season 6, you know whether or not you want to keep going. This the first season where I think you can really see a decline in quality. It’s also the first season that doesn’t heavily feature Jim and Pam as earlier seasons, (they are still main characters, so they do get things in every episode, even if it’s not much) and while there are some great episodes, a lot of this season (to me) feels a little meh and boring. However - essential episodes --

Gossip; Niagara; Murder, Sabre (if you want to understand what’s going on in the rest of the show); The Delivery.

Okay, I guess that’s not a whole lot. However -- this season also features an episode I do not go back and watch -- that is the infamous Scott’s Tots. The less said, the better.

Season 7

I like Season 7 a lot better than season 6 - the episodes are better all around, and it’s Steve Carell’s last season. There’s not a ton of Jam stuff here, but more than season 6. (I also like Jim and Pam’s dynamic in this season more than season 6′s). Essential episodes --

Nepotism; Andy’s Play (it’s a musical!); The Sting; Costume Contest; Viewing Party (for the Glee!); Classy Christmas; The Search (if you want to know where my URL comes from); PDA; Threat Level Midnight; Garage Sale; Goodbye Michael (minus the subplots). I don’t really recommend the season finale - Search Committee - but it does set up season 8.

Season 8

Season 8 isn’t very good. It’s not that Steve Carell left, it’s that the show didn’t know what to do because he left -- and despite having some great characters to work with, they end up focusing on Ed Helms and James Spader, too much. You can probably skip to season 9 without missing much, however, there are a few half-way decent things. I wouldn’t call these essential, but in case you want a taste of season 8

The List; Pam’s Replacement (which is really the only Jam stuff this season); Special Projects, Test the Store.

Yeah, that’s kinda it. The post Florida episodes are really terrible (Get the Girl-Fundraiser), and are possibly the worst episodes of the show, so I recommend burying them in the sand and not thinking of them.

Season 9

I think season 9 is a little underrated, and while a far cry from its heyday (and still way too much Andy), I think overall it’s rather enjoyable. Also, Jim and Pam get a story line spanning the entire season for the first time since, maybe, season 5 - which is a nice change. It’s a little hit and miss but it’s nice to see them treated as main characters again. Honestly, it’s hard to recommend just a handful - so, really, just watch all of it and skip the Andy stuff.

#the office #okay so it's late and i got tired

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gerec · 5 years

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In Defence of Professor X

Or My Spoiler-y Thoughts on everything Charles Xavier in Dark Phoenix

Previous Post: Spoiler-y Thoughts on Dark Phoenix

Also: Non Spoiler-y Thoughts on Dark Phoenix

So I came away from the movie with a lot of thoughts and feelings about Charles and his arc in Dark Phoenix, and I want to try and get them down into one (hopefully!) cohesive post. Overall, I would say that I’m fine with Charles’ role in this movie, but maybe it’s because I don’t think he’s as wrong or as bad as the other characters make him out to be (or the way the film tries to frame as his failures):

‘Charles is bad for altering Jean’s memories of the accident’ Listen folks I said this before the movie and I’ll say it again; Charles made a choice to protect Jean and I think he made the only choice he could at that time to ensure that she could eventually grow to learn to accept herself and her mutation. She’s an eight year old child with incredible telepathic and telekinetic powers, who just inadvertently caused the death of her own mother, causing her own father to be afraid of her and reject her as a lost cause. She’s already so afraid of herself and the powers she can’t control; imagine the additional guilt of knowing it was all her fault these terrible things happened? Look at how she’s reacting now as an adult woman and imagine what it would have been like for her to try and process it as a child? And also to be utterly rejected by the one parent she has left? Yes, Charles absolutely should have told her the truth when she was old enough to understand it, and it was definitely a failure on his part to not come clean in all the years between XMA and DP when Jean had a good hold of her powers and a support network in place to help her process that childhood trauma. But you can’t convince me that initial decision was superbadwrong, and everything that happened with Jean afterwards was his fault (as the movie tries to frame it); sometimes being a parent means you have to pick the least shitty option from a buffet of bad options.

‘Charles is a politician and enjoys having a platform to spread his message of integration’

This is bad...why? Charles has achieved what he’s tried to do his whole life; to try to get humans to co-exist with mutants. He’s done what Erik and Raven have both said they wanted - for mutants to live openly without being hated and feared. Instead of (reciprocated) violence and intimidation he’s using his natural charm and his privilege and influence to promote mutants as valued members of society, and in the process the X-Men have become heroes, becoming role models for both mutants and humans. I mean it’s easy to be cynical about politicians especially given the current state of world events but I don’t see why any of what he does can/should be construed negatively? And I certainly do not see how this is entirely for his own benefit vs. for the benefit of mutants all over? Is it because he’s good at it and he maybe likes doing it? Because he was born to a life of privilege and knows how to navigate the halls of the wealthy elite? Or because it feels good and he’d rather live a life being embraced instead of hunted and hated? I guess the only legitimate way to fight for mutants and the cause is to bleed for it, or smash things and kill people I guess which leads to...

‘Charles puts the lives of his own people at risk to save humans’

I thought it was extremely ironic to hear Raven of all people reducing the X-Men to a bunch of ‘kids’ to be protected, instead of a group of adults (Quicksilver should be 37 by now if he was say 17 in DOFP, and the others at least 27) capable of making their own decisions. I wrote about it in this post here - that during the space mission Charles is constantly asking the team for their opinions on what can/can’t be done (he doesn’t force them) and letting them determine the course of action (with his encouragement yes). And the very nature of a superhero team means taking risks and saving people, human or mutant; I think the conflict here between Charles and Raven stems very naturally from how they each view the world - Raven doesn’t care about humans and demands to live in society on their (mutants’) terms while Charles wants mutants to be a part of it, and sees value in the lives of ‘both’. I personally didn’t see someone who valued humans over his own people; I saw someone who was confident in and proud of his team’s ability and their capabilities.

Other Random Thoughts

- Charles’ reaction to Raven’s death was ooc, and I don’t know if it was an acting choice on McAvoy’s part or the direction, but it came off as unfeeling and callous. We spent almost all of DOFP with Charles mourning the hole that Raven left in his life, and it was jarring to see the lack of emotion conveyed on screen. Hopefully the scene of Charles at Raven’s grave makes it back in the blu ray, to give some context to that bizarre scene in the kitchen with Hank.

- I surprisingly didn’t hate Raven in this movie, because it was clear to me that she would never see or understand (or care about) Charles’ POV or his motivation. Charles’ way is too slow, too methodical, too big picture for her, and is too inclusive of the humans in his desire to educate and lead them all down a path of coexistence. Raven feels no affinity to humans and is wholly other; Charles greatest and most effective gift is empathy. She was always going to feel constrained living with Charles’ ideals and his goals, no matter that he’s helped steer them all to a present where she’s lauded as a hero. It really would have been better for all of them if she and Hank had left and carved out a life together, though I honestly don’t know what that life would entail...

- There’s no reason to believe Charles didn’t willingly retire from the School (and change the name in honour of his daughter - because yes that what she was to him) and hand the reins over to Hank, assuming he does this after he has to fix the whole ‘humans are a constant disappointment and in fact exactly as reactive and paranoid as he knew they would be when he told Raven they were always only one disaster away from hating and hunting them again’. But being constantly unappreciated and blamed for all the ills of the world has to be exhausting, and I’m glad he hung up his cufflinks to be a farmer with Erik and live happily ever after.

- BUT ALSO CHARLES XAVIER HAS NOTHING BUT LOVE IN HIS HEART FOR ALL MUTANTS AND HIS FAMILY AND ESPECIALLY THE SISTER WHO LOVED HIM BUT NEVER CARED TO UNDERSTAND HIM AND THE DAUGHTER WHO IS THE MOST LIKE HIM OF ALL HIS STUDENTS AND HE WOULD CARVE HIS OWN HEART OUT TO MAKE HER LIFE BETTER

#xmdp #dark phoenix #xmdp spoilers #dark phoenix spoilers #charles xavier #professor x #gerec rambles

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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When was the last time you let someone know you truly love him/her? Today.

Do you complain when you are bored, or look for something to do? Sometimes, but usually I just still do the things I normally do. Sometimes those things just don’t cut it, though, and I end up lying around watching mindless TV or sleeping. That’s usually when I’m just extra moody or feeling extra sad and down and don’t feel like doing anything.

Do other people’s complaints ever get on your nerves? Yes. If someone is constantly complaining about everything that gets real annoying real fast. I try not to complain a lot. I keep a lot to myself or save it for a survey, ha.

Generally, what is your favorite ride at an amusement park? I used to like the water rides, you know like the Splash Mountain type rides or the ones that are like white water rafting. I like the swing ride, too. I’m not into the water rides anymore, though. That doesn’t leave much for me at most amusement parks. I love Disneyland because there’s so many rides and I can enjoy a lot of them. There’s so much for me to do.

Who is your favorite 90’s musical artist? I love a lot of music from the 90s.

Do you think that music was better when your parents were young, or now? I enjoy various genres and songs across the decades.

How did you develop your specific taste in music? My parents, grandparents, what was popular, and discovering stuff on my own.

If you drink coffee, how do you like it (with cream, black, etc)? Flavored creamer or cream and sugar.

Did your parents sign you up for things like piano lessons and ballet? I did some piano lessons.

What is your favorite children’s song? Nursery rhymes and songs from what I watched as a kid. I was a hardcore Barney fan haha.

Are you good at telling jokes? I’m the worst haha.

Are you uptight, or are you easy going? I think I come off easy going to people that don’t know me well. And I can be with certain things. Like while on vacation or deciding on what to do, I’m a go with the flow kind of person and just go along for the ride so to speak. However, I’m a moody person that gets irritable, frustrated, and overwhelmed. My family wouldn’t say I’m easy going ha.

Other than gas, what do you frequently purchase at a gas station? I don’t purchase gas cause I don’t drive, but I like getting coffee or a Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink sometimes.

What is one concern you have about the present state of the world? The corona virus. Even though it’s like the flu, which is also a serious concern every year and we need to take the same precautions. I guess cause it’s like the newest thing and it’s being talked about constantly, so it’s become a big issue.

Ten years ago, did you think that this was how the world would turn out? I’m not sure how I thought it would turn out. I don’t think I gave it much thought.

Ever think you might be better off living in a different time period? No.

Do you drink regular or diet soda? I’d go for the regular if I’m going to drink one.

What CDs would you take with you on a road trip? I wouldn’t. I have Spotify.

Think of your favorite band? What album by them is your LEAST favorite? I don’t have just one favorite band.

Have you seen your favorite band in concert? If so, how was it? I’ve seen some of them.

Do you walk regularly? No. Or at all.

Did you take a Health class in high school? How was it? Yeah, freshman year. I liked parts of it because we talked about psychology and stuff.

If you could have the answer to one question, what question would that be? Hmm.

Do you like any bands from other countries? Yeah.

When was the last time you mailed a handwritten letter? I have no idea.

Do you still receive Christmas cards? Yeah, a couple.

Do you know anyone who is really hard to please? Yes.

What gets you through the day? I just...do.

Do you have a Before Bed routine? I like to listen to ASMR and do surveys. Describe your stance on religion in general? I’m a Christian.

If you found out your bf/gf was homosexual, how would you react? Well, we’d obviously have to break up. That would be hard of course. I’m assuming I was in love with them. I would be supportive and be there for him, though.

If you are homosexual, and you find out your bf/gf is straight, then what?

Have you ever sung karaoke? What songs? Was it fun? Yeah, just for fun with friends at one of our houses. I’ve never done it in public. There’s no way in hell.

Do you study for big tests? I studied for every test.

What makes you nervous? A lot of things. Ha, that reminds me of the cute shirt I got at Disneyland with Rex from Toy Story on it that says, “I’m a nervous rex.”

Have you called anyone today? What did you talk about? No.

When was the last time you went bowling? Yearssss ago.

Do you drive around the neighborhood to look at lights around Xmas? Aww, we used to do that every year when I was a kid. We drove all over town.

Why are so many single people bitter on Valentine’s Day? They become painfully aware of how single they are because of all the lovey dovey stuff and couples everywhere and feel sad and lonely, I guess.

What holiday is a big deal for you? Christmas.

What is one tradition you hate participating in? I like the ones my family and I have.

Have you ever been sledding? No.

Do you have acne? I get a couple pimples now and then. I had it worse in high school and my early 20s.

Have you made a fool of yourself today? Not yet. The day is young, though.

Is there someone you wish you could talk to, but you’re too afraid? Not anyone currently.

Do you have a favorite cookie? Sugar.

When was the last time you did something for someone else? I helped my dad with something.

Do you let other people choose the radio stations in your car? We play Spotify in the car.

Would you say that you are an accepting and openminded person? Yeah, I think I’m pretty openminded.

Have you ever been convinced to try something you didn’t want to do? Yes.

What happened? How did you feel about your choice? I wasn’t happy about it.

When was the last time you cheated–at anything? Uhhh. I don’t know. I’m not a cheater.

Do you play any online computer games? If so, what? Nope.

What food can you not seem to get enough of? Wingstop’s boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings.

When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? I become distant. If we interact and talk, I’m very short.

Do you like to think that you are better than other people? Absolutely not. I know I’m not.

When was the last time you felt you had a reality check? Hmm.

Have you ever felt out of touch with reality? Yes.

Have you ever been sick to the point of possibly dying? No, but it definitely felt that way at times.

Have you ever had a tooth pulled? Yes, my wisdom teeth and one other.

How long do you you usually chew a stick of gum? Until the flavor runs out, which doesn’t take long.

Did you chew gum in school, even if it was against the rules? I don’t think so. I was a goody-goody.

Did you take a foreign language in school? I took Spanish all 4 years in high school.

Did you attempt to make Honor Roll? Did you make it? I was always on honor roll.

What was your favorite school project? Hmmm. There were a few I enjoyed throughout my school years.

Did you attend any school dances? Yeah, a few.

Were you in any after school clubs? Yes. Was there any teacher that made life living hell for you? No.

How about any student(s)? No.

When was the last time you felt overwhelmed? I feel that way quite often.

Which parent are you more apt to go to if you’re upset? My mom.

Do you have any coffee mugs with funny pictures/sayings? No.

Describe your favorite t-shirt? I have a pretty big collection of graphic tees, all of which are my favorite.

Describe something strange that you own? Uhhh.

What do you like to do on a friday night? I don’t do anything different.

What do you like to do on a sunday night? ^^^^

Are monday’s a drag for you? Most days feel that way.

Do you think graffiti is a valid form of artistic expression? I don’t approve of it when it vandalizes property. If it’s a mural or something like that, then yes.t

Do you ever worry about where the world will be in 20 years? I just take things day by day, man.

Do you know what you want your funeral to be like? Well, this took a turn.

How often do you think dirty thoughts? Not often, honestly.

Can mere images turn you on? How about words? Photos, sure. And I guess words, too, in the sense that I’ve read books with sex scenes that were hot haha.

Do you give a good back massage? I’ve never given one.

Do you think that feet are disgusting? Ew yes lol.

When was the last time you screamed? I honestly have no idea.

What is your political affiliation? We’re not getting into that.

Are you registered to vote? Yes.

Are you GOING to vote? Gahhh. Everything is so bad right now. Like it’s really a big joke.

Do you think you would enjoy living in college dorms? Nooooo.

Have you ever been to the YMCA? It’s fun to be at the YMCA. haaa. Anyway, no I haven’t.

If you ditched school, where did you go? I stayed home, ha.

Have you ever been offered drugs? What, and by who? Yeah.

Are you afraid to walk places at night if you are alone? I definitely would be. I never go anywhere alone, though. I certainly wouldn’t at night.

What’s in your school backpack? I don’t have a school backpack, I’m done with school.

Are you put off by overly social people? >> No. I’m easily exhausted by very extroverted, exuberant people, is all. Doesn’t mean I don’t like them as people. <<<<

What do you think of people who are shy? Well, I’m very much one of those people so I can understand.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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kae-karo · 5 years

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Hi Katie! I just want you to know that I want your analysis of this new sims video more than anything and I'll just patiently wait for it... Have a nice day!

hi dear!! new sims vid, did u mean dnp simulator?

dorks spending the first ten seconds dancing in fake snow

why virtual friends???? ??

my daddies gave to me y’all,,,,,,there’s knowing your branding and then there’s acting on that knowledge and i think this may have been one time where acting on your knowledge maybe was not a good call like ily and u do u and all but

i love phil loving his branding it’s cute also shoutout to @dnpscloset thanks for finding it (x) bc i want one now if anyone needs a last minute xmas idea i’m lookin at u mom u always wait til the last minute

same dan, same

‘we all have new faces and new lives and everything’s changed, this is gonna be hella dramatic’ *inhale* *exhale*

‘when u imagine the howlter family’ god they’re such adorable n sentimental nerds i love them

phil’s actual default is bein a leany boye

dnp arguing about what ‘desperate’ actually is as if the entirety of their first year after meeting they weren’t talking as often as they could five hour skype calls amirite

get away from me stalker lmao bold of u to say that danny

phil sweetie i love you with my entire heart he’s so so excited abt the virtual snow i love him

tiny zoom in jumpcut at 2:08 overlapping audio interesting

a mood and a half

phil immediately going ‘yeahhhhh thin walls family hearing things they gotta get out’ abt dab and evan like m8 we get it all u think abt is sex we get it god u and ur husband really are made for each other aren’t u (dnp = devan reference #1)

‘i presume evan is also jobless’ ‘i hope so!’ phil is it really,,,,,,smth to be excited about,,,,,,,

dan’s doin a lot of the hand phone lately u cute boy

we should have a redbull what is wrong with them phil can barely handle having too much sugar y’all thought it was a good idea to have a redbull also we should have a redbull they share literally everything which tbh is probs for the best lbr phil on a whole can of redbull hmmmmm yes ik it’s v possible and in fact probable that phil had his own can let me live

‘it’s a sensible lightweight jacket’ in the fucking snow wow dan u really did just set urself up for phil to drag u about not dressing for the weather

dan’s fucking laugh at 4:39 gives me life literally there is no purer and more adorable sound like that’s up there with kittens purring

‘i think he’s gonna be a bit of a diva in this relationship’ did you mean: dan howell (dnp = devan reference #2)

[slight bit of ankle is showing] dan: ‘and now you’re wearing shorts’

where’s the lie tho honestly that lil pause before he said mate

this clip will live in infamy bc i want this in every fucking phan edit for the rest of time like i can’t even think of the right out-of-context clip right now but anything that can be answered with phil saying ‘it’s dan’ i need it

youtube

mandatory phil covering his mouth and bein a cutie

yes destroy gender roles in the snow universe (although seriously dan’s ‘life is just about uncon-doing the horrible conditioning of all these gender stereotypes, phil’ is so important also i stan phil recognizing that before dan i think it’s really easy to forget that just bc up til recently he’s not been as expressive as dan of his opinions on how stupid gender roles are doesn’t mean he doesn’t have just as if not more progressive a mindset than dan)

‘it’s like a dan vs phil’ dnp = devan #3

dan has such a lovely singing voice i miss him singing

dude phil’s eyebrows are making a Solid appearance v expressive

i s2g this is a different moment from the one above he’s just so fricken cute???

‘but they’ve got each other’s backs, phil, just like dab and evan’ yeeeeaaaa i’m gonna go ahead and go with dnp = devan reference #4 here i think that’s fair

snow angels are the least fun thing to do and yet (x - it literally won’t let me put it in bc it’s a privated vid rip)

amazing they just started having a snowball fight how cute n domestic am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan hmmmm - dnp = devan #5

i get that infinity war was a meme but lads it’s time to let it go

‘and they’re called the howlters’ lmao as if u ain’t an honorary lester daniel (dnp = devan #6)

i’m living for phil’s excitement i mean if that’s what redbull does to him i’m here for it i guess?

hi they’re dumb this was cute

‘we don’t want to be those people, but for us personally, we very much found that you just need to just move into a big city of some kind and just jump into life with both feet’ this is not only adorable advice but also where dnp simulator comes into play aka we did this so uhh dab n evan should do it (dnp = devan #7) also dan speaking for them both singular pronouns are quaking

‘don’t trust that’ what on earth are u on abt phil what don’t u trust the fuckin desert or?????

scalyburg phil stop pls we know we get it dan’s a furry ur a scaly we got it

why does dan spend an entire 7 seconds (8:40) adjusting is he moving closer to phil? switching which leg he’s sat on? idk but it lead to me pausing at this moment which was a gift in and of itself

‘the deposit on that one, plus the weekly went would make us instantly broke, so that’s fun, us when we moved to london’ bih do u hear me crying

does dan remember phil’s first manchester apartment what kind of question is that phil have u met dan he probably remembers every bloody inch of that place i mean he did remember that there wasn’t a bedside table so

stop that

middle of the city, romance festival, geekcon, pretty views and cherry blossom trees sounds like dnp’s ideal location do u get why i’m calling it dnp simulator yet also dnp = devan #8

we don’t want to move next to the karaoke legends wow dan bold of u to say after belting helena at 2am real bold

phil having flashbacks to the apt they toured where they found out people died there

hi phil just looks so excited by everything

look i’m not saying anything except they’re managing to find a lot of similarities b.w their lives and what they’re doing for dab and evan okay like this apartment is great for people-watching? which is what phil did in his manchester apt?

context whomst? idk her

shoutout to the wardrobe

big bold life-changing steps

anon spitting truth up in this house (but like,,,,,my thoughts exactly lmao i was like they’re such introverts they would’ve avoided meeting their neighbors at any cost including apparently smacking into a locked door trying to avoid small talk phil we love u bab)

casually mentioning dan saying ‘we are dil-’ was he gonna say dil’s son, maybe but i like to remember the bloops of dan repeatedly calling dab dil so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

omg okay so from like. this point on, when dan’s like ‘here is my vision’, i’m absolutely getting queer eye vibes like amateur queer eye tho like two gay nerds trying to embody queer eye in their lives a bit oh wait

okay okay okay dan u said an ensuite bathroom and then failed to add a door to the bedroom do u understand how frustrating that is???????? do u understand how stressful it was for me to watch that whole damn vid and know that u forgot the door????

a space for hobbies what hobbies who has hobbies

they learned nothing from building their house before: phil should take the mouse away from dan immediately look at him he is such a sugar baby in this jfc

god dan is so cute get these idiots a penthouse apartment super high up so he can have his bath next to a window okay he deserves that in life

stop it they’re literally agreeing on almost every single thing god they literally share a single brain

amazing

leany boye

‘they are young adults moving into their first apartment, you don’t have art!’ okay first of all don’t even go there daniel second of all i’m sorry you’re the one arguing for spending literally all their money but u don’t want to get some art bc it’s unrealistic????

dan saying lovely

phil’s mr carpet

navy??? navy? when did they? why?

i would get involved in a criminal plot to have that / i’m gonna throw you out of one

wow pro tips makin a comeback

phil is Losing Steam

oh my god okay so i was joking but literally phil is losing steam lmao 18:35 he says ‘ayy’ and it’s so tired-sounding

leany leany boyes

okay look ik dan’s going into ‘aww poor philly’ mode but also he knew that very quickly like honestly that’s not a Thing i would ever notice about someone tbh i’m not saying it’s like Significant but damn danny was really into phil to know that shiz man

the high-fashion gigantic rug of our dreams

okay look i can’t make this up phil literally leans away for a bit and then

hello daniel’s Curl

i stan phil getting excited over plants

dab and evan will be having a mario kart fest will they (dnp = devan #9)

mirroringggggggg

dude big mood god they’re so fond and full of memories

honestly dnp made it that way like u cannot convince me they didn’t purposely decide to do that mmkay

‘see they are ready to have their romantic dinners. and then they can pretend they have another friend and it’s fine!’ am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan who knows :) (dnp = devan #10)

cold in the middle what on earth i literally have no memory of that i mean it could just be my shit memory but jfc they just remember that stuff goddamn

scrunchy boyes also phil where’s ur arm at hm

like i’m not fuckin joking where is it

you can’t exist without a computer i mean

what is important in life / the internet

they don’t even have fucking doors and dan’s like ‘uhm they need a terrarium’ dan i’m stressed

oh my god i’m sorry phil is so done with this now it’s actually comical

hi they didn’t add a door for the ensuite

give dnp an interior design series honestly give them any series

phil reached for dan’s hand u cannot convince me otherwise

‘not my personal taste’ really,,,,,really

when dab n evan hug dan looks at the screen n phil looks at the camera things u didn’t need to know but now u do

lmao jumpscared by the kiss

‘i feel like i’ve never nailed anything more in my entire life’ hmmmm hmmmmmmmmmm hm

the fuck was dan’s ‘getting a job’ that’s his fnaf voice u stop that

doon doon doon doon

tongue

hi uhm what the Fuck was that jumpcut at 28:30 i hate Obvious Jumpcuts with a burning passion specifically bc of dnp

#dnp #dan and phil #dapg #phan #danandphilgames #sims #devan #vid analysis #anon #ask #kt

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piamii · 4 years

Text

Taking a mental health day from work today but was really conflicted about how to word it.

Last year I took a few mental health days but there were 6 of us so maybe it was less conspicuous

It’s only me this year and I for some reason keep feeling this push pull with my supervisor to be close and honest with her

Last night I was feeling ok about work. But after once again not sleeping properly I feel like somethings up with me

I’m feeling all the ways I used to feel about my mental health

Being small is not okay, it’s not okay to let go, I’m responsible for all of my clients progress and safety

Which is true in a way but

I also have beeen thinking about the difference between me and my supervisor

She’s the only person I see on a regular basis. Like I see her 4 times a week

So I don’t know how to be myself, a postdoc

I keep comparing myself to her

I wondered to myself would anyone else take a mental health day in my position?

Who cares, others aren’t me

It’s like I forgot I’m extremely sensitive and have been sobbing every day and not sleeping well at all during the weekdays

My nutrition and hydration and shit has been ok, so I’m not getting sick which is the weird part

Im so incredibly emotionally constipated

There are so many incredibly destructive thoughts in my head right now that haven’t been addressed

Things have just gotten increasingly harder for a long time now and I can’t tell where adjustment starts and my dysfunctional mental state ends

Is it really ok for me to say work is too much?

Does it make me pathetic?

Didn’t I feel this way in all previous years too?

2nd year, it wasn’t like this but at least I was more honest with myself about how anxious and nervous I was about work. I definitely took it easy and complained more often. I slept poorly frequently on clinical days and would feel really angry about it. I don’t think I got sick more than once that year

3rd year i wasn’t sleeping quite as poorly but still had sleep problems, hated my commute. That was the year I kind of had to start blocking people out of my life, like not completely but was so down and exhausted that I couldn’t function socially outside of work and school. I didn’t get sick much tho. Definitely noticed SAD symptoms starting this year but to be honest felt somewhat depressed on and off through early winter until spring which is I guess the colder darker months in OR. I think I had some SI but it was towards the end of winter

4th year was when I had more somatic issues. My sleep was honestly not bad that year comparatively speaking but when m and I broke up during internship application season I had a bunch of health issues that resolved shortly after my interviews ended. Tbh internship interviews were a nice reprieve from the dark slump that probably would have hit me if I had just done school in the winter. I had my first sinus infection in spring and went to see Slushii anyways Hahahha.

Internship year... I had a sinus infection too and got a cold maybe 2 other times. Last year was the most I’ve ever gotten sick. I took a mental health day maybe like 3 times and actually used sick days too. I want to say this was the hardest year for me mental health wise until this year in terms of symptoms but the best in terms of self care. By like April/May I was feeling really good about life. Maybe it’s the weather here too idk

This year feels so much harder than the other years combined. I’ve used one sick day and two mental health days and I’m having a hard time understanding where I’m at mental health wise in conjunction with who I need to be to do well at work. It feels like I’m growing at an unmanageable pace. I’ve had the most frequent SI I’ve ever had in my life which is somewhat alarming to me. I’m safe don’t worry but I’m just saying the thoughts coming into my head. My sleep is getting reallynfucked up over these last 2 weeks. I sleep like a baby on the weekends which makes me feel like it’s stress related. On one hand I’m acclimating to this insane amount of stress and on the other hand it feels like every day I’m being stretched open and carved out.

I’m not even ruminating that much before bed anymore. Like I’m not actively distressed like I used to be when things hit me hard last year. I’m just constantly unhappy and anxious this year which I feel like is my lot in life right now. My self care has gotten much better last year and this year, but this year it’s been harder to find ways to relax. Things went downhill really fast, when the seasons finally changed here and I started seeing 4 of my clients in the field. I am most definitely consistently working over 40 hrs a week now. I tried really hard last year to work less whenever I could and honestly the agency was pretty good about giving us a reasonable workload. But now it feels like I’m meeting the real world, where work just comes at you and never says sorry. You had to do extra and stay longer this week? Sucks for you. You have to completely uproot your already untenable schedule because one of your clients has really a really complex risk presentation? Welp that’s the price of doing this work.

Like when I was told the weeks here typically don’t go past 40 hrs I feel like I was lied to. I feel alone and singled out bc I’m the only postdoc this year. I want to know how C felt 2 years ago. If there were 2 of us I feel like I’d be having an okay time. Can you fucking believe they had a hard time building to full caseload last year? It cannot be just me in this position. I want to give up every day.

I don’t feel protected I don’t feel like I can ever let my guard down. There is no one I talk to regularly that I can be honest with. I don’t have the energy to relay this information to the people I do talk to regularly which at this point is my supervisor and M. And like hell im going to tell my supervisor this stuff.

Is this the real world?

Something tells me it is, but I have to find a way through it somehow

I’m still debating about this one client. She’s on my mind a lot and I’m scared which is probably a parallel experience to what her family is experiencing.

The fuck you mean our ethical duty? What am I supposed to take away from that convo? I know I have my own voice and opinion but that made me feel really bad for not doing exactly as you said. I know I tend towards the anxious paranoid side of things but that really scared me because instilll can’t think straight about this client and I sure as hell cant go to you.

The relationship between e and I has changed too, I think she’s overwhelmed too

Something that keeps popping up over and over again is- how fucking awful it would be for a client to complete suicide

I know it happens and it’s time I face that this could happen

It’s a terrifying thought and I almost don’t want to tell anyone that I’m having it

It feels shameful and dangerous to think about, because if I can’t handle it who could?

Who can contain this for me and tell me it’s okay? I don’t want to fucking hear that I should do more

It’s a complex mess of emotions inside my head. I understand why I would need to do more in this situation but there’s no room for it. I want help in trying to balance but my schedule is already unbalanced and bringing me into a dark place emotionally.

What if because I took today off no one sees my hospital patients all week?

Friday is going to suck ass if that’s the case

I could ask my supervisor directly to see them

But I want to be small today

And that would take a lot from me

How does the psychology service work at the hospital during Xmas break?

Uhhhh....

Shit.

I’m scared for some stupid reason that someone will make me stay during break or I’ll have to work some crazy stupid long hours on Friday

I hate ongoing patients bc they still need to be seen but it’s kind of your choice whether or not to see them

It’s like adding an automatic to do to the list every time I’m there but the task takes 2 hrs at least

I’m always scared I have to stay late at the hospital, luckily the latest has been 6:30 but I’m terrified every time I go in that it’s going to be longer

This is new for me and it’s ok to get freaked out

To not have a clear idea how much I am going to work each day and each week really puts me off

I feel pathetic because aren’t there a lot of jobs that are unpredictable like that? Especially once you become salaried ?

My stomach is starting to hurt

It’s weird because I haven’t gotten any somatic symptoms this year but I’ve also been sobbing my eyes out every day so maybe that’s why my body is feeling okay. I haven’t really cried the last few days because I’m just very tired of crying at this point, so maybe that’s why my stomach has been hurting a bit more

Every time m says something nice to me, hell anytime anyone says something nice to me I start to cry and I’m just so fucking done with crying and feeling out of control just to have nothing change and things even get harder at work

Fuck!!!!!

I haven’t properly dealt with this terrified feeling

I have to tell myself this feeling is informative but separate from reality

I’m so fucking scared.

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