#no one else could have played joel miller so perfectly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

javiscigarette · 1 year

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Push and Pull

Joel Miller x f!reader (no outbreak)

Summary: Joel just realllyyy likes your dress

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI) no use of y/n, established relationship, dirty talk, oral sex (m & f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex, choking, spitting, spanking, cum play, degradation (name calling), hair pulling, dom! Joel Sub! reader, descriptions of subspace, multiple orgasms, you know he talks you through it, straight up pure smut litcherally no plot

Word count: 6.3k

A/N: Might've gotten carried away with this, just needed to get it out of my system. I want to eat Joel Miller.

The sun is now fully set, the stars twinkling in the sky while the moon shines brightly. The air is still thick with heat but there’s a gentle breeze, cool against your hot skin.

The glasses of wine you had throughout the night were settling nicely into your body, relaxing your muscles and make your head feel light. You had been on your best host behavior, chatting with everyone while making sure they were happy with a full drink in their hand.

Joel eventually found you alone in the kitchen, popping lids off of beer bottles and refilling the snacks while everyone else mingled outside.

He looked absolutely delicious. The sleeves of his black t-shirt clinging to his biceps, his cargo shorts exposing his muscular legs that had your nearly salivating. His hair looked soft and fluffy; a few curls stuck to his forehead with sweat. You could see in the way his eyes were softer and that goofy lopsided grin looked permanently stuck to his face, letting you know that he was starting to feel the glasses of whiskey he had been steadily throwing back.

"Babydollll" Joel groans playfully, setting his glass on the counter as he approaches you before wrapping his arms around you from behind.

"This dress is fucking killing me" He whispers in your ear before he starts pressing wet, hot open-mouthed kisses on the column of your neck. His mustache tickles your skin and you can smell the liquor and the cigarettes (that he swears he only smokes when he drinks, even though you both know that’s a flat out lie) on his breath.

Of course, it’s the dress that he picked out a couple of days ago while he took you shopping in town, telling you to get whatever you wanted. It stopped mid-thigh, your ass centimeters away from being exposed if you bent over too far. The back was open too with thin straps, exposing as much skin as possible while perfectly stretching over your curves.

You don't protest when his hands started to roam your body, sliding up and down your torso, stopping randomly to grab at your skin all while pressing wet, hot open-mouthed kisses to your neck. In fact, doing anything other than melting under his touch was just not an option right now.

"Look so fucking sexy, trying to show everyone what they can't have, hmm?" Joel whispers against the bare skin of your shoulder, his hands coming up to cup your breasts for a few seconds before reaching in the top of your dress to pull both of them out.

"Joel!" you gasp, trying to squirm out of his grasp. Any second anyone from could come inside and round the corner to find you with your breasts exposed with Joel's hands around them.

Joel obviously doesn't let you go. Instead, he takes a step forward, pressing his hips against your ass until your trapped between him and the counter. You can feel his hard on press up against you, sending a pulse of electricity to your core.

"Isn't this what you wanted, sweetheart? Why else would you dress up like a slut if you don't want to act like one" Joel rasps.

You bite back a moan and throw your head back on his shoulder when he starts to pinch your nipples, rolling them gently between his thumb and index fingers.

"Yeah, I fucking knew it, baby. Such a fucking tease"

You can't deny how much you love when Joel is like this. Not too drunk that he can't control himself but drunk enough to let his walls down a little, to be riskier, to whisper absolutely filthy things in your ear before he takes complete control of you.

The moment only lasts for a few more seconds before it's interrupted by the sound of the back door opening followed by footsteps headed towards the kitchen.

Joel lets you go, taking a step away from you leaving you to frantically pull your dress back up to cover yourself. Tommy rounds the corner, immediately filling in Joel with a funny story about something that just happened outside. Tommy barely acknowledges you, too drunk to be polite right now. Your thankful that he’s completely oblivious to your reddened cheeks and flustered expression. You take a deep breath, trying to gather yourself, ignoring the way you can feel your slick already soaking your panties.

Joel takes two of the beers that you just opened and hands one to Tommy. They continue to chat as they walk out of the kitchen, Joel quickly turning to quickly eye you up and wink at you before turning the corner and heading back outside.

You let out a shaky sigh, half tempted to go upstairs and finish the job yourself. But you need to be a good host. You smooth your dress out, making sure everything is tucked in properly before you carry out the rest of the beers and the snacks. You make sure everyone is happy before you find Joel again, who's now sitting in a chair, talking with Tommy and a group of other men from work.

He catches sight of you, his eyes narrowing and a slight smirk creeping up on his face as you walk over to him.

"Can I get you boys anything?" you ask sweetly, standing next to where Joel is sitting, resting a hand on his shoulder.

The men decline wanting anything else, happy with their glasses of whiskey and cold beers in their hands.

"We were just talking about how good of a host you are, sweetheart" Joel says with a knowing smirk, his eyes never leaving yours. He snakes a hand behind you before resting it just below the hem of your dress.

You blush, tingles radiating from where Joel's hand rests on your thigh to the rest of your body. Even the simplest of touches had your knees trembling.

"Can you get a smoke for me babydoll? The pack is on the table over there" Joel asks with a sly grin and a squeeze to the back of your thigh.

You glance over to the picnic table that's a couple of feet away, his cigarettes sitting on the far edge.

What a perfect opportunity to get him back for his little stunt in the kitchen.

You smile down at him before turning to saunter over to the picnic table, your hips swaying loosely with every step. You can practically feel Joel's eyes burning holes into your back.

You don't walk around to the other edge of the table. Instead, you rest a knee on the bench and lean over the table to reach the other side and grab the pack. You try your best to make sure that Joel gets a good view of how your dress rides up as you move. You know you succeeded when you hear him choke behind you, trying to cover it up with a cough when he catches a glimpse of your bare pussy. You hadn't had the chance to tell him that you had removed your soaked panties after he felt you up in the kitchen earlier, not bothering to put on a fresh pair.

With the pack and lighter in your hand, you stand up on both feet and turn around. Joel is staring straight at you, his eyes so dark and face stern that you’d be scared if you didn’t know exactly what you were doing. You fish a cigarette out of the pack, holding it up to your lips before lighting it and taking a drag. He doesn't take his eyes off you as he picks up his glass and finishes his whiskey in one gulp, watching as you return to his side.

"Here you go" you say with an innocent smile, handing him the lit cigarette.

Joel doesn't break his stare as he plucks the cigarette from between your fingers and places it between his lips. He takes one quick puff before standing up right in front of you. He wraps an arm around his waist and pulls you into his side.

"Well I'm just exhausted, think it's time for us to get ready for bed." Joel announces loud enough for almost everyone to hear.

Within 20 minutes, Joel is ushering the last guest out of the house, trying not to engage in anymore conversations while you bring in the dishes and empty beer bottles back into the kitchen.

Your skin is tingling with excitement, your heart pounding in your chest as you prepared to face whatever you ignited in Joel.

You hear the front door slam shut as your wiping down a countertop. You barely have time to turn around before he's towering over you, staring down at you with his blown, black eyes.

"It's only 10pm, Joel. You that tired?" You tease him, waggling an eyebrow at him.

"You think that's fucking funny, baby? Your cunt hanging out like a goddamn whore? Showin’ off to everyone what's fucking mine" Joel growls, his lips curling up into a snarl as he speaks.

"Then maybe you shouldn't feel me up until I'm soaking and then leave me hanging like that" You quip. You know that you’re poking the bear, but you can’t help yourself. You want to press all of his buttons. More darkness seeps into his eyes. You can see the tendons in his neck bulging out and the muscles in his jaw flexing as he grinds his teeth, chewing over the words you just said.

"Turn the fuck around"

You know what you're about to say is going to have Joel seeing a hundred different shades of red. But you can't help but push him, see how far he'll let you go.

"What, you're finally decided you want to touch me again? Y'know, I could've just asked Tommy after you left me in the kitchen like that. He would've been on his knees for me in a second. I know you see the way he looks at me. I bet he co-"

You can't get another syllable out, the force of Joel pushing you down by your shoulders until you’re kneeling in front of him knocks all the air out of your lungs.

"Such a fucking brat" Joel growls.

You're completely mesmerized watching Joel undo his belt and push down his pants and boxers down his thighs until his cock pops out, inches from your face. He's harder than ever, the veins running up his length prominent, his tip red and leaking. You try to lean up to lick him but he's quicker than you. He sees what you're trying to do and immediately has a hand tangled in your hair, holding you in place.

"You wear that fucking dress, your leaking cunt hanging out in front of all of our friends and somehow this is my fault?" Joel seethes.

You press your lips together, suppressing a whimper at his words. You have him right where you want him. You know that he's about to punish you in the best way for talking to him like this before fucking you completely dumb on his cock. But you want him as worked up as possible, it’s always better the angrier he gets.

"No words now, sweetheart?" Joel coos, his tone sickeningly sweet laced with a bite of anger. He brings his other hand down your mouth, his thumb hooking on your bottom lip and pulling your jaw open.

"M'gonna wreck this fucking bratty mouth, sugar. Shut you up with my cock."

That's all the warning you get before Joel is shoving himself inside your mouth. Your eyes wide with shock meet his, but he doesn't let up at all. Instead, he shoves himself deeper down your throat as you gag around him, his hand in your hair holding you still right where he wants you. Once he's 3/4 of the way in your throat, he yanks your hair forward, forcing your mouth down the rest of his length.

You can't stop gagging around him, spit already seeping out the corners of your mouth as your lips stretch around him. He doesn't give you any time to get acclimated to his length before he's pulling his hips back until he's halfway out before slamming all the way back in. He sets a brutal pace from the beginning, knowing that if you tapped his thigh at any moment he'd immediately pull out and wrap you up in a blanket, snuggling with you for the rest of the night.

But you never tap.

"This what you wanted? Needy little brat needed my cock down her throat, huh?" Joel grunts, his hips quickly building up speed.

You let out a whine, the sound muffled, and he huffs at the feeling of the vibrations around his cock. You're so turned on right now, Joel's dominance breaking open the floodgates. You can feel your core pulse and clench around air, your slick slowly starting to drip down your thighs.

Joel's pace is fast and steady now, pulling out of your throat before snapping his hips forward again until your lips are pressed against the trimmed hair at his base. His huffs and grunts as he mercilessly fucks your mouth is making your core burn, even as tears leak out of corners your eyes. It drives you absolutely wild.

He suddenly tugs on your hair, cuing you to look up at him.

"Keep your eyes open when I give you this cock"

You moan around his length, his words going straight to your throbbing cunt. You knit your brows together, eyes glassy as you look up at him.

"Already lookin' ruined, baby and I haven't even touched you yet" Joel grunts. Your eyelashes flutter as you fight the urge to squeeze your eyes shut.

Joel pulls back, his cock falling out of your mouth with a string of saliva connecting the tip to your bottom lip. He wraps a fist around himself and drags his wet tip across your puffy bottom lip. You poke your tongue out at he does so, trying desperately to taste more of him. It makes him chuckle with delight.

"You wanted this all along, didn't you, baby? Actin’ like a slut just so I’d be rough with you" Joel asks as his other hand moves from your hair to cup your jaw.

You don't have the chance to answer, Joel too quick to lightly slap his cock against your cheek. A quick nod is all you're able to give him before he's using the hand on your jaw to tilt up towards him. He replaces his tip with his thumb, sliding over your slick lower lip.

"Open" he demands simply.

You open your mouth obediently, sticking your tongue out with a small whine. He stares at you with dark eyes as he leans over, letting his spit drip from his mouth into yours. The warm liquid falls on your tongue and your quick to suck it back into your mouth, not wanting to waste a single drop. He doesn't even have to say anything before you swallow and then open your mouth to show him.

"That's my good girl" Joel praises.

He moves at lightning speed, straightening back up and then shoving himself back in your mouth, immediately choking you on his length. He lets out a sigh and a whispered curse, his head falling back when he feels the heat of your wet mouth wrapped around him once again.

He leans down slightly, the angle making his cock slid deeper down your throat as he wraps a hand around your throat. He thrusts down your throat a few more times occasionally stopping when he's buried deep, feeling his tip bulge out against the palm he has wrapped around your throat.

"Fuck, babydoll. Take me so well, this mouth was made for me to fuck" Joel moans.

He gives a few final thrusts, going as deep as he possibly can before he's pulling out. You cough and gasp as you try to catch your breath. You can feel the tears staining your cheeks and you know your mascara is probably running down your cheeks right now, but you don't care. You know Joel loves to see how much he ruins you.

You watch as he lazily fists himself inches away from your face, his hand falling into an easy rhythm of sliding up and down, your spit making the glide effortless.

"Stand up."

You scramble to follow his instructions. You're already too fucked out to disobey him, his dominance easily sending you into submission. You manage to stand up, even though your knees are tight from sitting on them for so long, Joel's eyes glued to you and his hand steadily stroking his cock as you move.

You're barely on your feet before he grips your hip with his free hand and spins you around, bending you over until your cheek is pressed against the cool marble countertop.

"Such a fucking slut, baby" Joel grunts just above a whisper as he pushes your dress up your waist, leaving your ass exposed all for him.

You hear him moving behind you and you pick your head up a little to glance over your shoulder. You turn just in time to see Joel kicking off his pants before settling on his knees behind you.

A string of soft moans tumble past your lips, the heat of your breath fogging up the cold countertop as you feel Joel's hands palm your ass before spreading your cheeks. His thumbs slide to your folds, pulling them slightly open until your leaking hole is on full display for him. You gasp when you feel the cool air hit your burning core and then again when he exhales a hot breath, inches away from your aching cunt.

"So fucking wet, baby. Is this pretty pussy dripping for Tommy, sweetheart?"

His words cause a fresh gush of slick to drip from your core. He obviously notices and you can feel the hot breath of his chuckle against your exposed, soaked folds.

"N-no Joel, it's only for you. Only ever for you." You whine.

Joel lands a heavy smack to your cheek; the sound mixing with your loud cry and echoes out through the otherwise silent house.

"Use your fucking manners when you're talking to me" Joel growls.

It takes you a few seconds to fully understand his command, your brain already turning to goo in skull.

"Sir, fuck, sir, it's for you sir. I'm only yours, sir"

"That's fucking right" Joel grunts before diving into your aching cunt.

A loud moan rips through you as he immediately starts eating you out like a starved man at a buffet. You feel his tongue everywhere, swirling around your clit before tracing up and down your slit, darting into your dripping hole before coming up to your clit again.

Your knees go weak, your weight almost entirely supported by the counter underneath you. Joel is quick to wrap his lips around your clit, sucking harshly making you sob as hot electricity pulses through your veins.

"Fuck Joel, feels so fucking good" you cry out the white-hot ball of pleasure rapidly growing in your lower stomach.

He suddenly pulls away from you. You cry at the loss of his tongue, but it's cut off by your gasp as he delivers two harsh smacks to your ass.

"Use your fucking manners" Joel nearly shouts as he connects his palm to your ass again. "Not gonna tell you again"

You can't think straight, your brain five seconds behind everything that's happening to you.

"Sir!" You cry "Feels so good, sir"

Joel hums in approval before latching his mouth back on you again. Your eyes roll into the back of your skull when you feel two of his thick fingers notch at your hole before pushing inside.

Stars dance behind your eyelids and cunt clenches tightly around his fingers as they press right up against your g-spot. You're falling apart so easily, the tension that built up over the course of the night suddenly hitting you at full strength.

"That’s it, baby. Take what I give you" Joel whispers before taking your clit between his lips once again. You nearly scream at the sensation, your hands clawing at the countertop trying to get a grip on the slick surface. He keeps up a rhythm that has your chest burning with how hard you're breathing. You try to fight the urge to push your hips back into his face, but you can't help it when you feel his tongue move from your clit to circle around his fingers where he's stretching you open. He knows exactly how to bring you close to edge as fast as possible.

But he also knows how quickly he take it away.

The sensation is gone as soon as it came, Joel pulling away from you leaving you breathless and clenching around nothing.

"Such a greedy cunt, you just can't help be bad, huh baby?" Joel coos.

You look over your shoulder at him to see him fisting himself again. You meet his gaze and he's looking at you with one eyebrow cocked, giving you a warning to use your words.

"Fuck yes, sir. Need you always, I'll take anything you give me, sir" You moan, all of your inhibition flying out of the window.

Joel doesn't say anything as he smooths a hand up your spine until it reaches your cheek, gently pressing your cheek into the countertop while keeping you in place. You can't see him anymore, his hand preventing you from moving your head even an inch. But you do feel his tip notch at your aching entrance for just a moment before he slams his hips into yours, immediately stuffing you to the brim.

"That's right, baby. You take what I give you and you don't fucking complain, hm?"

He starts fucking into you with full strokes, pulling almost all the way out before filling you back up in one movement, his tip nudging against your cervix.

You cry out against the counter as he falls into a fast pace, once again not giving you any time to adjust to his size. Your wet enough doesn’t necessarily hurt, but your walls are tingling with a dull ache as you slowly adjust to his massive girth inside of you. But you don’t dare to say anything knowing that this is part of your punishment.

You swear you can feel him in your throat each time he presses into you, stuffing you impossibly full. You can't catch your breath, Joel knocking the air out of your lungs with each thrust.

"S-so big and f-fast, sir I can't t-"

"Yes, you can, baby." Joel cuts you off "I know you can. You know this cunt was made for me so take your punishment like a good girl” Joel grunt, not slowing down for one second.

Your eyes roll back into your skull with a whimper as he repeatedly slams into you. All you can do is lay there, taking what he gives you. You know you can safe word out of it any second you want and he would stop instantly, but you can't think of anything worse than him stopping right now.

The dull ache of your stretched walls slowly morphs into pleasure, ecstasy steadily seeping into your bones and muscles. You're so drunk on his cock you can barely open your eyes and your mouth is hung open letting out a never-ending string of loud moans. The hot pool of pleasure in your stomach is growing quickly, but you try to suppress it, knowing that Joel isn't anywhere near to letting you cum. Your legs are trembling, your whole body jell-o as he slams into your g-spot over and over and over again.

You're both fully aware that he's steadily pushing you into the delicate headspace where your thoughts and sensations disappear as pleasure consumes you completely. The first time you slipped was after a long night of spanking and teasing and Joel fucking you senseless after you had been particularly bratty all day. He was genuinely terrified when you went limp under him, unable to say anything with tears steadily streaming down your face. He had stopped immediately and held you close to him until you came back to Earth and explained how he broke you in the best way. After that, it was a lot of trial and error, a lot of close supervision and reassurance check ins until you two fell into a comfortable routine.

He’s now completely comfortable pushing you all the way and that's exactly what he does. The tension of him choking you on his cock, quickly followed by him eating you out for a few moments before slamming into you while talking you through it the whole time was making your head spin.

Joel notices how your moans start to sound wet quickly followed by hot tears or pure pleasure wetting his palm. The tears scared him the most at first, but after you explained that they were more of a release of intense emotion and pleasure building up as he fucked you so well, he started to gradually feel more comfortable seeing you cry.

He moves his hand off your face and leans over, pressing his chest into your back. He slows his pace down considerably but doesn't stop.

"You're doing so well, angel." Joel praises. His tone is sweeter and gentler as he checks in with you "You doin okay?"

You nod lazily, your whole body shaking under him as tears flow freely down your face.

"Yes, sir. Safe word is m-mango" you choke out, already anticipating what he was about to ask "I don't want to use it, s-sir, please keep going"

Joel's heart swells and his cock simultaneously twitches inside of you, listening to you being so good for him, telling him that you're okay and begging for more, all with hot tears of pleasure falling down your face.

"Good girl" Joel whispers into your jaw. He presses a soft kiss behind your ear before standing up again, grasping your hips with both of his hands.

"Such a good fuckin’ girl" Joel huffs as he starts to quickly build back up to his original pace.

You barely register the slaps that Joel lands on your ass before he's slamming his hips at that devastating pace. Your body feels so light that you swear you would float away if Joel wasn't holding you down. Waves of pleasure washed over you, pulling you under like a riptide and holding you down until your mind goes blank of everything except for JoelJoelJoel. The world around you starts to fade away, your grip on reality withering away until it’s just you and Joel.

You swear you feel your soul leaving your body as you slip into a space of pure tranquility mixed with immense pleasure. It feels warm and comforting and incredibly safe. You're so pliant under his touch fully trusting him to take care of you. It's like you're offering your entire life to him on a silver platter.

You can hear him saying things to you, but your brain isn't working to make sense of the words, your mind too focused on his touch and the numbing pleasure of him pounding right into your g-spot. Your mouth is hanging open, smushed against the countertop, loud moans and the occasional sob tumbling past your lips as you start to drool on the marble.

Joel's watching you carefully, making sure that you don't slip too far under. His fingertips are digging into your hips, easily maneuvering you back and forth to meet his every thrust. He can't stop his own moans as he watches you succumb to the pleasure that he is giving you, seeing how malleable and soft you are for him right now. It's definitely not the first time he's delivered you to this point, but he can't help but be in complete awe as he watches you settle into this headspace.

He continues to pound into you, giving you what he knows you need. He notices the slight change in the tone of your moans and the way you start to clench around him so hard that he can't move and he knows your close. He brings two of his fingers up to your mouth, resting them on your bottom lip.

Your dizzy brain eventually registers his fingers, and you automatically wrap your lips around them, sucking them into your mouth. You hum happily, utterly content with one more of your holes being stuffed full. You swirl your tongue around his fingers, suckling softly on his two thick digits.

The edge of the counter is digging into your lower abdomen, adding even more pressure as Joel pummels into you. You can feel your orgasm quickly building up, making every inch of your body tingle. Joel removes his fingers slowly from your mouth despite your desperate whine.

You sob out loud, fat tears streaming down your face when you feel Joel bring his hand to your core, pressing his two spit-coated fingers against your clit and rubbing lazy circles.

You writhe under Joel's grip as your orgasm rips through you, choking on gasps and sobs that fall freely from your lips. Your heart pounds against your chest, every inch of your skin electrified as you are hurled over the edge with a loud scream.

"There you go, baby. Just let go f’me" Joel soothes, fully knowing that you're probably not even aware that he's talking. You're soon transported to a far away place, the pleasure pushing you out of your body and fully consuming you.

Joel's eyes roll back, his own pleasure starting to take over his senses when he feels you clench and gush around him.

"Get so wet for me when you're like this, baby" Joel huffs.

He's not wrong. You're absolutely drenching him as you squeeze him tight, soaking his cock so much that it makes lewd squelching sounds and drips to the floor as he continues to fuck into you.

"You think Tommy cold fuck you like this, baby? Think he could fuck you absolutely stupid on his cock like this" Joel grunts between clenched teeth.

He's not expecting a response, but you moan out anyway.

"N-nooo, s-sir." You choke out in between sobs and moans.

It's music to his ears. He can't hold on any longer, the way you're squirming under him and squeezing around him, crying, and sobbing out for him is driving him insane. He grabs your hips as hard as he can and thrusts into you one, two, three more times before he's unloading deep inside of you with a loud, broken moan, just how he knows you like it.

You don't know how much time passes before the ringing in your ears starts to fade and you faintly hear Joel's voice calling out to you. You slowly return to your body, your sense slowly coming back to you one by one.

Joel has stopped thrusting completely, but he's still deep nestled inside of you, his warm chest pressed heavy against your back applying a comforting pressure.

"Come back to me, babydoll" He coaxes gently, brushing the hair out of your face. You blink your eyes open, your swollen eyelids and wet eyelashes blurring your vision. He presses soft kisses to your cheek, patiently waiting for you to come back from wherever you went.

You let out a soft whimper between sniffles, unable to make any other sound. You could stay here forever, in the warm, safe space pressed under Joel with his cock resting deep inside of you.

"You did so well" Joel muses against your cheek. He starts to rub a warm, soothing palm up your side. "Always so good, my sweet girl"

It takes every ounce of energy left in you to clear your throat and talk to him.

"Love you, Joel" You murmur with a satisfied smile.

You can feel Joel's chest vibrate with a laugh, feel his warm breath spread along your cheek and jaw. It's always the first thing you say to him when you come to, no matter how rough he is or how far he pushes you.

"Love you more, sweetheart. Lemme take care of you, yeah?" Joel asks softly.

You nod slightly, allowing him to stand up. You cringe at the cold air replacing the warmth of his body on top of you. He pulls out of you slowly, a fresh tear sliding down your cheek as you whine loudly at the loss. You hear Joel sigh as he watches his cum dribble out of your abused hole and onto your thigh.

"You look so pretty with my cum leakin’ out of you, baby" Joel says softly, running a palm up your inner thigh. "Can you take just a little more?"

You let out a high-pitched whine and nod.

"My sweet girl, taking whatever I give her" Joel whispers, swiping a finger through the cum that seeped out of you before gently pushing it back inside of you.

The sensation makes you nearly shout, your hypersensitive walls clenching so hard around your finger it almost hurts. He pushes his finger in and out so slowly that you feel every inch drag against your sore walls. He quickly finds the spongy spot on the roof of your wall, hooking his finger to nudge against it over and over again. You’re so sensitive but Joel knows how far he can push, and he’s not done yet.

“Give me another one, sweetheart. I know you can. Soak my fuckin’ hand” Joel commands quietly before adding a second finger.

Your screw your eyes shut, a loud moan of echoing in the room as you squeeze around his fingers. You want to tell him to stop, that you can’t handle it, but you can’t even bear the thought of losing his touch.

He’s quick to bring you right to the edge. You scream as your second orgasm in under five minutes crashing down hard on you, your whole entire body trembling as you squirt around his fingers. Joel groans deeply, watching your release gush out of you onto his hand and wrist and dripping down onto the floor.

“Oh baby, look at that” Joel says, absolutely awestruck.

He continues to slowly finger you until you come down from your orgasm. You whimper softly and try to squirm away from his touch letting him know that you’ve had enough. He removes his fingers, pressing a quick kiss to your lower back before standing up straight. He easily scoops you into his arms, knowing it's near impossible for you to walk right now.

He carries you to your shared bedroom and places you down gently, making sure your head is resting on a squishy pillow. He takes a fluffy blanket from the end of the bed and drapes it over you, making sure you're fully covered.

You sigh at the warmth, your muscles fully relaxing and melting into the bed.

"I'll be right back, angel" Joel whispers before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

In reality is takes Joel less than a minute to return but to you it feels like an eternity and a half. He eventually comes back, his hands full with a damp warm rag, a bag of pretzels, two wrapped squares of chocolate, a water bottle, and a bottle of Gatorade.

You giggle when you see him struggling to carry everything over to the bed and your heart swells in your chest knowing that he always takes such good care of you.

He lifts the blanket and works a quickly and gently as possible to clean you up you just lay there, letting him maneuver your body however he pleases. Once he's satisfied, he quickly cleans himself up before tossing the rag onto the floor and climbing into the bed next you.

He slips under the blanket, sitting upright with his back pressed against the headboard. Your heart is bursting at the seams as you watch him unscrew the caps of the bottles and place straws inside. He offers you the Gatorade first, watching intently as you sip, making sure that you get enough. After you finish, he unwraps a square of chocolate and holds it out for you. You eat it bite by bite, Joel holding it in his hand for you until you take your last bite. You innocently lick the melted chocolate off his fingers but it’s really just an excuse to have his fingers back in your mouth. You smile softly when you hear his breath hitch. He gently removes his fingers from your mouth, stopping you before he gets too worked up. He then offers you the water which you gratefully sip before laying your head back down on the pillow.

Joel sets the water down on the nightstand and slides down until his head is on the pillow next to you and pulls your body into his. You snuggle up next to him and rest your head on his bare chest, his heartbeat thumping softly in your ear as he wraps his arms around you. You close your eyes and smile, worlds beyond content and satisfied.

"That dress, angel. You're never wearing that in public ever again" Joel whispers as he tucks a stray hair behind your ear.

"How about when I need an excuse for you to fuck me like that again?" You tease.

"Oh baby, you just have to ask and I'll give you anything you want" Joel says quietly and you know he's dead serious.

You smile against the skin of his chest, warmth spreading through your body and quickly lulling you to sleep in the safe confines of Joel's arms.

----------

A/N: Thank you for reading!! I just finished my first year of my masters so get ready for a lot more content. This was originally a Javi P. fic but I think it went better with Mr. Miller as I writing it what do you guys think?? hugs and smoochies <3 mwah

#Joel miller smut #Joel miller x you #Joel miller x reader #Joel miller fic #joel miller x f!reader #Joel miller #tlou fanfiction #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut #tlou imagine #the last of us #javiscigarette

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thot-of-khonshu · 10 months

Text

pierced (dbf!joel miller x reader)

Masterlist | Ko-Fi | Commissions

Summary: When you come back to Austin after a year at school with fresh piercings, your dad's best friend Joel Miller can't help but notice. And the two of you can't help but give in to your built up tension.

Rating: M, 18+ (this is pretty much pwp)

Content: no outbreak timeline, the reader has a pierced tongue and pierced nipples, pwp, age gap (~20 years), dbf! joel, heavy flirtation, dirty talk, massaging, fingering, throat fucking, blowjobs, rough p in v sex, nipple play, missionary, doggy style, creampie

A/N: This is my very first commission coming in hot for @pedropascal-whore!!! Once again, I am now taking writing commissions!! If you would like some information on my commissions please click here for rules and here to order one! Like everyone with this economy, I've been struggling so if you're able to order or send me a ko-fi it would be greatly appreciated. Even if you aren't, I sincerely hope you enjoy this 💕

Je-sus Christ.

If Joel’s momma, rest her soul, could hear him now speaking the Lord’s name in vain she’d slap him upside his head until he quickly gained his manners back. He was also glad his momma wasn’t there to see what caused that name to curse through his lips.

You.

You. Walking into his backyard in that barely there bright yellow sundress for the annual summer barbecue that he held every year with your dad. As if this shit ain’t complicated already, you just had to be the daughter of one of his close friends. You and your dad had moved to Austin a few years back, right after you had turned 18. The way you two looked out for each other reminded him of how he and Sarah take care of each other. But now Sarah is all grown up and pursuing a career in Dallas.

And now you’re all grown up. And walking right towards him. Joel tries to keep his cool, flipping burgers on the grill while you come up to greet him with a hug.

“Howdy kiddo. Missed seein’ ya around.” Joel says over the grill.

“Hey! Have you been talking to my dad lately? I hear you’ve been asking about me since I came home for the summer.” You say to him and god damn, it’s like he gets better looking every time you see him. The gray t-shirt he’s wearing while he grills fills him out perfectly, stretching across his broad chest and clinging to his tight muscles.

“Well...yeah, I have actually, but it’s only…” Joel is flustered, it’s like you were reading his mind and trying to catch him in his own sinful thoughts about you.. “I mean…it’s because I care about ya and what’s been goin’ on in your life.”

“Not exactly much. School’s out and I’m back to annoy you all summer.” You lean over the counter near the grill and Joel is trying his hardest not to peer down your dress.

“I’d hardly call ya annoying.” Joel smirks at you and it’s like your insides have come undone. The sophisticated college girl facade you were coming to try and impress him with is peeling back.

“Those hamburgers look really tasty.” You try to give him a mature smile.

“Oh they’re gonna be. Been marinatin’ those juicy patties all morning and they’re gonna be so tender and tasty.” He winks at you. Fuck it you think. Why not just go for it? Have a little fun.

“I can’t wait to taste them. I’ve been so hungry for it all morning.” You bite your lip, staring into his eyes. You could’ve sworn he stopped for a moment in his tracks, eyeing the plumpness of your lips.

Joel hesitated for a second. Was this actually happening? Was he actually about to test the waters himself?

“I bet you’re anxious for it, kiddo.” Joel smiled at you, looking down at your lips and your chest and making sure not to be shy about it.

“You know I’m 20 now, Joel. You don’t have to keep calling me kiddo.” You say, tightening the grip of your arms under your chest.

“Yeah, I suppose I could get used to callin' you somethin' else. What'dya have in mind, sweetheart?”Joel asks, your smile widening when he says the last word.

“Well, how about that?” You whisper, not wanting your intimate moment in a backyard full of people to be interrupted.

“I like that.” Joel stops grilling for a moment, flipping his towel over his shoulder and leaning towards you. “Why, hello, sweetheart. What’s a pretty girl like you doin’ at a cookout like mine?”

“About to go for a swim, it’s crazy hot out today.” You want to say it’s not just the weather but you decide on playing it cool.

“Well, if you're gonna be swimmin', it'd be a shame if you got all that pretty hair wet.” Joel moves from the grill area to go up behind you, you feel your heart rate intensify. “Better tie that up. I'll help ya tie it up real nice and cute for ya.”

You nod in agreement and he you notice when he’s behind you how much he towers over you. He moves his arms across your shoulders, giving your hair a light tug as he pulls it into a bun.

“Such a gentleman.” You smile at him, he rubs your shoulders when he’s done, his large hands covering both of your shoulders and he turns you to face him.

“There ya go, sweetheart. All nice and cute for ya. No one’s gonna be able to keep their eyes off you, that’s for sure.” Joel’s smirk exposing a dimple.

Without a word, you put your bag on the table next to his that included your sunglasses and sunscreen. You take your items out, putting them on the table while you feel Joel’s eyes clinging to your back.

You put your sunglasses on and turn around, pretending to be aloof as you face towards the pool and strip off your barely there dress, exposing your matching yellow triangle bikini. You look towards him, still and looking at you with a dark look, and give him a saccharine sweet smile as you go into the pool for a dip.

You dove in and you had immediate salvation from the Texas heat but you were still feeling so hot.

—----------------------

When Joel was a teenager, he reran the scene of Phoebe Cates coming out of the water in Fast Times at Ridgemont high so many times, the tape broke in the VCR. An embarrassing story from his childhood but there’s still just something about a girl in a bikini that drives him wild.

So it’s no surprise when you come out of the water, water clinging onto your skin for dear life, he almost short circuits. He eyes your nipples, puckered from the cold chorine and water, but he also notices the outline of small bars around both areas.

Discovering you have your nipples pierced just might be better than any porno or VCR he could break. You saunter up to him, not even making an attempt to be coy about staring at each other anymore. He asks one of your neighbors, chatty and unassuming, to man the grill while he comes up to you.

He towers over you. A friendly look with a hint of darkness on his face.

“Now, sweetheart. You’re drippin’ all over the place. You’re gonna get water all over the concrete and the grass. I should’ve gotten you a towel so I could dry ya off.”

“You don’t like me all wet?” You bat your eyelashes up at him and he licks the bottom of his plush lip.

“I don’t mind it at all. I’m enjoyin’ this more than you know. But…why shouldn’t I be the one to dry you off? It’s only practical, isn’t it? Besides…I’m not gonna let anyone else here get the chance to see a girl as beautiful as you drippin’ wet.” Joel was all in, no more beating around the bush.

“Well, you’re the only one that gets to look at me all wet, Joel. Get me a towel and help me dry off?” You decided it’s your turn to stop beating around the bush too.

“Well…I’m gonna have to find a place all our own first. Don’t want any of these other people watchin’ us. Not with what I have in mind.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Lead the way.”

—----------------------------

The two of you found yourselves in an empty guest room, and you stood waiting for Joel to get out of the bathroom with a towel. He came out with two, one for you to sit on on the soft, plush bed and another one that he started to use, kneeling at your feet. He motioned for you to place your foot on his knee as he started to dry you off.

“So everybody’s been holding up okay while I’m gone?” You asked.

“Everyone’s doin’ good. Sarah’s still in Dallas workin’. I keep your daddy busy with the contracting jobs, but I still find the time to ask him every now and then about ya. He’s always got nice things to say. I guess that means you’re doin’ alright in college too?” Joel kneaded at your legs, looking up at you with his warm brown eyes.

“Yeah, everything’s fine at school. The typical college experience: Books, beer, boys.” He pats your leg to signal for you to alternate to the other.

“Oh, I'm sure you're popular with the guys over there. I bet all kindsa cute guys are just swarmin' around you, ain't they?” Joel asks.

You chuckle a bit, thinking about all the guys that have asked you out over the years. There were some you accepted, some you rejected. None of them even came close to being on Joel's level. “I guess...but nobody really has my attention. I'm just ready to get out of there and graduate y'know?”

Joel stood up, his large hands now massaging the towel around your waist. He motions for you to turn around as he starts to knead your lower back and move towards your ass.

“That feels nice.” You sigh.

“You like me putin’ my hands on you, sweetheart?” Joel whispers in your ear.

You nod as you look at the mirror in front of you, seeing him staring at your ass being rubbed down. You watch him watching you in the mirror. His hands move from your back to your hips and you feel him finger at the strings holding your bottoms up.

“I like everything about this right now.” You whimper. He notices you looking in the mirror and slowly, tantalizingly moves his large hands onto your chest, tracing his fingers over your pebbled nipples, tracing the silver pierced onto them.

“These are new.” He whispered into your ear, his large hands kneaded at your breasts. “They suit you. They’re sexy.”

He kneads at them and gives them a small tug, making you moan with pleasure. He rubs his erection into the curve of your ass, letting you feel him hard and wanting.

“You think so?” You grind yourself into him, moving your ass into his dick and moaning into his touch.

You watch him watch you, your body pressed into his as he grips your breasts and rubs his cock against your ass. You feel his breath on your neck and his breathes down your shoulder and neck, squeezing at your breasts.

“You’re a pretty girl, sweetheart. They just add to the effect.” He whispers to you.

You move one hand to the back of his neck, pressing him harder onto you and bring another to the strings of your bikini top. You're ready to untie them and let them fall to the floor and let Joel have your way with you.

“Sweetie!”

Fuck. Fuck. The fast way the both of you tear away from each other and jump to different sides of the room is impressive. You’d recognize your father’s voice anywhere. “Are you in here?”

“Sorry, daddy!” You say, feeling your voice going high but trying to sound as normal as possible. “I’m in here. Joel was just grabbing me a towel for the pool. I’ll be right back out.”

“Great. I want you two to meet Laurie.” He was chipper. All he wanted was his daughter and his best friend to meet his new girlfriend, completely unaware of what was about to happen.

You stood, shocked, trying to get your heartrate to go back to normal. Joel looked across the room at you apologetically and walked out, meeting your dad, closing the door and your moment. “Sorry for hidin’ her away, Jim. I’m just lettin’ her dry off in the a/c. You know how hot it gets on days like these, right?”

Your dad waved Joel off and told him that it was no big deal, and you could hear them as you quickly dry off and get back into the living room seeing your father, Laurie and Joel laughing.

You quickly slap on a fake smile too.

—--------------------------------

The rest of the barbecue went well without a hitch. You got to know your dad's new girlfriend who was a sweet, friendly woman. You were paraded around by your dad to the rest of your neighbors, talking about your college experience and your plans when you graduate. The only salvation you had during these talks were stolen glances from Joel.

You felt him watching you when he thought no one was looking. Watching the way you stood next to your dad and talked about the people around him with pride. He couldn't keep his eyes off you. It made you move with more confidence, knowing he was watching you and ready to get you alone again.

Towards the end of the night, your dad and Laurie told you they were going to get some drinks at a bar and you offered to help clean up.

“Jim, she is so sweet!” Laurie beamed. “You really don’t have to do this. We tried to get Joel to come out too but he said he had a headache and wanted to stay back and go to sleep.”

Your dad and Laurie hug you goodbye. “Try not to make too much noise and let him rest, okay?”

You see your dad and his new girlfriend off, doing the dishes in Joel's kitchen. You hear footsteps behind you and see Joel, leaning along the doorway.

“Hi there.” You smile, you see him observe you're still in your bikini.

“Hi. I bet you’re wondering why I declined the chance to spend a Friday night with your dad and Laurie out on the town, but well…I had some other plans.” He smirked.

“Helping me dry these dishes?” You hand him a towel, grinning at him. Joel takes the towel from you and positions himself next to you. The two of you do the dishes for a moment.

“Dad’s girlfriend seems really sweet.” You look up at him.

“She’s lovely. And you daddy seems happy with her. I mean, I never see him this happy. You know he also says you can come around any time ya want…or need. I told him you can come around as long as you want to stick around.” He winks at you.

“Is he trying to run me out of his house already or are you trying to get me in your bed?" You stick your tongue out at him and Joel is beside himself when he sees your tongue ring.

"Is that new, too?" Joel drops the towel, moving his hands towards your hips.

"I had it put in a couple of days ago. Do you like it?"

"Oh I love it." Joel looks at you and his eyes dart back and forth between your eyes and your tongue.

"Why, Joel, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were having some impure thoughts about me right now." You whisper to him, leaning into his touch.

"You don't wanna read my mind right now, sweetheart." Joel holds your face in his hands.

"Try me."

"Well..." He moves his hand to the back of your head and pulls you into him. "I was thinkin' about how it'd feel if your tongue was around my cock."

You're both in an empty house and he's still fucking with you. You knew what he meant, but you wanted to hear it from him. You wanted him to spell out for you the filthy, sinful, delicious things he had planned for you.

"Oh really?" You ask. "What if I want to taste your tongue too? Would you be down for that, Joel?"

You're all about fucking with him back. You see him smile a little bit, feeling proud that he made you blush. He's quick to change his tone though, his voice low and sultry.

"Maybe, but that ain't what you really want. You wanna feel me, sweetheart. You wanna feel my cock inside of you. I can tell that you're wantin' it. I can feel you soakin' through that tiny bikini you got on." He starts to move his hand towards your crotch, slowly inching it towards the thin material covering your clit. "See? All wet for me. Soaked right through this tiny thing."

He slowly rubs against the thin material, his fingertips teasing your clit and making you moan.

"Why don't you tell me what you want?" He whispers.

"I want you to make me feel good." You whimper as he starts rubbing more of you.

"Is that it, sweetheart? Is that all you want from me?" He asks, still teasing you.

"Please..." You try to move closer to him but he doesn't let you move.

"Tell me what you want from me. What you really want. I know you're wantin' it, baby. You're wantin' my cock. You're so fucking wet for me, sweetheart."

"Joel..." You start to say but he cuts you off. He lifts you onto the counter, leaning into you and pressing his lips to your neck.

"What is it, baby?" His fingers rub at you and you feel a soft moan escape your lips.

"I want your cock. Please fuck me." You whisper to him, his eyes opening wide at your sudden bluntness.

"Good girl." He bites his bottom lip as he takes a look down at you. You have a newfound confidence in you and he's sure that he's going to be feeling it later on. He presses his lips onto yours and kissing Joel is unlike kissing any other boy you've ever been with. He kisses you like he owns you, like he wants to devour you. You kiss him back, moving your tongue ring against his tongue as your tongue meets his.

He kisses you harder, pulling your hair back as he sucks on your bottom lip. He pulls away for a moment, looking at you, keeling down between your legs.

"Now I have something to take care of, don't I?" Joel looks up at you as you spread your legs without thinking. He palms your inner thighs and pushes your legs back.

Your eyes looking down to Joel as he places a kiss on the inside of your knee. He places more kisses, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your thigh, moving up and kissing the rest of your leg until he gets close to your core. He presses his lips to your mound, making you gasp and arching your back. He licks you through the thin material and you try to move your hand to push the material away from your aching pussy but Joel grabs your wrists.

He pushes your bikini bottom to the side and licks at you. Your hips buck and you cry out, throwing your head back and moaning.

"You taste even better than I ever imagined, sweetheart." His eyes are glued to your pussy as his tongue licks at you. You can hear the lewd noises of his mouth slurping on your clit. "So wet and soft and perfect for me."

Joel holds you in place, eating you out and enjoying every last bit of it. You move your hand to the back of his head, grinding into him and riding his face as you hear Joel moan.

"Fuck, Joel, I'm gonna cum-" Your voice cut short when he moves a thick finger into you.

His voice is low and dark, his eyes staring up at you. "Let go for me, sweetheart. Cum for me."

He looks up at you as he sucks on your clit while he moves his finger in and out of you. You feel your walls contracting around him and he pushes you to the brink of an orgasm, his eyes still staring up at you and your hand still clinging to the back of his head.

"Fuck." You cry out as you ride his face, your legs trembling. He brings you back down to earth as he kisses your inner thighs.

"That's it, sweetheart. That's my girl." His voice is low and dark. "So pretty when you cum."

Joel stands up, looking at you as you're still reeling from the orgasm he just gave you. You kiss him hard on the lips and wrap your legs around him, feeling the outline of his hard cock.

"Take me upstairs." You gasp. "Please fuck me."

He doesn't have to be asked twice, picking you up and moving up the stairs to his room.

When he opens the door, you kiss him, pressing him into the bed. You tug at his belt and move to pull down his pants as he kicks off his shoes. You look at him, a confident look on your face, as you kneel between his legs. You slowly palm the outline of his dick through his boxer briefs, moving your hand to his zipper, slowly pulling it down. He watches you, holding back a smile as you reach for the waistband of his underwear.

You pull them down, releasing his thick cock into the open air. It's everything you imagined it would be. Long, thick and heavy. You take him into your hand and move your hand slowly up and down. His cock jerks in your hand as he groans. You wrap your lips around the head, giving it a small suck, your tongue rubbing against the sensitive underside.

Joel gasps. "That's it, sweetheart." He reaches his hands to the back of your head, moving his hands to your head.

You take him deeper into your mouth, slowly sliding down onto him, until the head of his cock is pressed against your throat. You moan as you move up and down, hollowing out your cheeks as you suck him.

"Fuck." He whispers. "Your mouth is so perfect."

You stare up at him as he looks down at you, his mouth slightly agape. "That's it. Take it. You're takin' my cock so well. So good." He pets the back of your head. "You ready for me to fuck your mouth, baby?"

You whimper at him and nod. "Mmm-hmm." You try to say but all you can do is moan around his dick.

"That's it, sweetheart. Let me use your mouth." He pushes you down onto his cock and starts to thrust.

The sound of his hips slapping against your face is loud. He pushes your head down onto him, fucking your throat and moaning.

"Such a pretty little thing. Your mouth is so fuckin' perfect for me." He pushes his cock down your throat and you can taste the precum dripping from him. You gag as he fucks your face. "Fuckin' take it. You love this don't you?"

"I love it." You gasp when he pulls your head up.

"You love getting my cock?" He moans as he pulls himself out of your mouth.

"I do." You gasp, trying to get your breath back as you look up at him.

"Can I have that tight little pussy, sweetheart?" He whispers. You nod in agreement as he kisses you. You reach up, taking off your bikini top and throwing it to the ground. He presses you into the mattress as he looks at your body.

"So beautiful. All mine." He rubs his thumb across your nipple, pinching and pulling at your piercing, making you squirm under him. "You want my cock, baby?"

"I need it." You mewl.

He pulls back the material covering your pussy, taking your bikini bottoms off. You watch him as he rubs his cock, moving it against your slit and pushing it to your clit. He moves it back and forth, teasing you and getting you wet. He presses it to your entrance.

"Is this what you want, sweetheart?" He teases, pushing his cock in your folds. "You want me to fuck you?"

"I do." You mewl. He moves down, kissing your lips as he presses into you, inch by thick inch.

You feel his thickness inside you, stretching you and filling you up. You let out a moan as he moves his hips.

"You're so fucking tight, baby." He kisses you, moving his hands to your breasts. You arch your back, wrapping your legs around his waist, meeting his thrusts. You push yourself against him, your lips never leaving his as he starts to move faster, the sound of your bodies slapping together filling the room.

He lifts himself from you, his hands gripping your thighs and holding onto your ass, lifting your hips from the bed and slamming into you.

You moan, moving your hips and feeling yourself coming closer and closer to another orgasm. Joel slows down for a moment, pushing himself all the way in before pulling out.

"Turn over." He commands and you do as he says. He rubs your ass and smacks it as you look over your shoulder. He thrusts into you, slowly.

"Look how pretty you are, sweetheart." He growls. "How pretty your ass looks when I fuck you like this. You're mine now, ain't ya?"

"I'm yours." You whimper, his cock moving in and out of you. "I'm all yours."

"That's right, you are." He moves his hand to your hair, pulling on it and making you arch your back.

He smacks your ass and you whimper. "Please don't stop." You moan. "Please Joel."

His voice is low and deep as he moans. You feel his fingers on your clit, rubbing at you and making you shake. You're so close to coming again, your walls contracting around him.

He pushes deep into you and spanks you again. "You gonna cum for me again, sweetheart? Gonna cum all over my cock?"

"Yes. Oh fuck yes. Please." You beg him and he lets out a loud grunt, moving faster, his hips slapping against your ass. The only sounds filling the room is your skin slapping together. You arch onto him as you have your second orgasm on Joel's cock. Your walls clench around him and he lets out another groan.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're gonna make me cum." He grabs your hips and moves you back against him. "I'm gonna fill you up. You're gonna be dripping my cum."

You cry out, feeling his cock twitch and he starts to come inside you. He holds onto you tightly as he fucks his cock into you, filling you up with his hot cum. He stills for a moment, looking at you as you're shaking from another orgasm, your body twitching and writhing on the bed as he moves inside you.

"Fuck," He whispers, slowly pulling himself out of you. You lay down on the bed as he looks at you. He strokes your hair softly. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" He kisses your forehead.

You nod. "I'm more than okay." You reach for him and he kisses you softly, pulling himself close to you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you on the lips.

He lies back on the bed and you're lying against his chest. He kisses you, rubbing his hand through your hair. "You wore me out." He chuckles.

"So you wouldn't want to go another round?" You kiss his neck.

"I didn't say that." He smiles at you. "I think I can manage--"

"Joel?" You both completely still as you hear your dad's voice once again. "You left the door unlocked, man! Have you seen my kid?"

Joel looks at you, a panicked look on his face and you push your hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter. You look down, seeing his cock still half hard and still wet from the both of you.

He gets dressed quickly, motioning for you to be quiet and heads downstairs. You can't help but eavesdrop by the doorway, door shut where he can't see you but open enough where you can hear their conversation."

“Is she doing okay?”

“Yeah…I think she just got a little too much sun today out in the pool. She’s knocked out in Sarah’s old room.”

“She’s always had it a bit rough in the sun. If you could just give her a ride home in the morning, I’d appreciate it.”

“Not a problem, Jim.”

“Thanks for taking care of her.”

“It’s really no problem. Night Jim."

You scurry back to the bed as Joel comes back upstairs.

"So?" You ask him, a grin on your face.

"What's so funny, huh, sweetheart?" He asks, stripping off his clothes and climbing back into bed with you.

You crawl onto him, leaning onto his soft tummy and kissing his neck. "God, I am so glad he didn't come up here." You giggle and Joel pulls you down into the bed, rolling over and pinning you to the bed.

"You better be." He growls, biting your neck. "I'm intending to give you a nice, long ride home tomorrow morning."

You whimper. "I can't wait."

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lionlena · 2 months

Text

I can't be everywhere (No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader) ANGST! Part 2

Summary: You knew Joel was a busy man, but you never thought that when you needed him most you would hear, "I can't be everywhere." As if your pain meant nothing. So you decided that you couldn't be everywhere either… You couldn't be in his heart anymore.

Warnings: ANGST, miscarriage, misunderstanding, loss, mourning, broken heart, age gap (17 years), Joel is 45, depression, Joel tries hard, but… He can't show his true emotions…

Part 2

Joel had no self-confidence. He knew it. He might have played the tough guy, but he knew the truth. He was afraid of relationships. Sarah's mother left such a huge hole in his heart that for a long time, he was unable to establish normal relationships with women. At first, he thought it was better this way. He focused on raising his daughter.

Joel was selfish. He hid it behind the statement that he had to care for his daughter and help his brother. But he knew the truth. He did what was comfortable for him and didn't think about the feelings of the other women. He started dating women when Sarah was older and needed less attention. He selfishly used women to satisfy his needs. Most often they were short-lived affairs for him. Sometimes just for one night. He didn't give any woman false hopes for something more serious, so he had no remorse.

He stayed longer with a woman named Tess. But only because he was comfortable with her. Tess was younger than him, but not as significantly as you. She was in a similar situation to Joel. She was a divorcee, raised a teenage son on her own, had her own business, and worked hard. And this arrangement seemed perfect to him. He saw Tess whenever he needed to. Sometimes he stayed overnight with her, and sometimes she stayed with him. They were together, although neither of them planned to make it official. And then suddenly it fell apart… And two months later he met you.

At first, he tried to stay away from you. However, he couldn't help but glance at you. There was something attractive about you. He saw how you treated other people with kindness. He noticed that despite your young age, you were very responsible and weren't the party type. And he loved your laugh. God, how he loved your laugh. He could be busy drilling holes and he would still recognize your laughter. Even Tommy noticed that his brother had a crush on you and casually told Joel one day.

"Her name is Y/N and if I understand correctly, she is single."

Joel looked at him in surprise and grunted, "So what? I don't care."

"Yeah, sure… I'm just saying."

Two weeks later, he saved you when you locked yourself in the bathroom and he was able to say your name out loud for the first time. And when he looked into your beautiful eyes that looked at him with gratitude, he felt like a knight who saved the princess and then it happened… Joel Miller fell in love… And he really wanted to be with you. Being with you was like a breath of fresh air to him. He felt younger around you, and at the same time, he didn't feel any pressure from you to be someone else. He saw that you fully accepted him and he was happy. So much so that he wanted to have you even closer to him. He wanted to see you every morning and evening.

And you were so sweet to him. Before he knew it, he was already used to home-cooked meals, your massages, and shared showers. And he was selfish again. He didn't notice that he was taking away your youth, that he was turning you into a housewife. He told himself that's what you wanted. He stopped thanking you for dinners and all the other little things you did for him. He thought it was a part of you.

Everything was going perfectly. Everything was set and stable and Joel wanted nothing more and that was the problem. Joel didn't want to change ANYTHING. So the news of your pregnancy turned his sense of stability upside down. After all, he was a responsible man, so he wasn't going to abandon you. But he couldn't drive away the shadows that appeared around him. Even though he didn't show it to you, he was panicking. And for many reasons. He knew that the baby would change everything, that HE would have to change. But he didn't know if he would be able to. He was also worried that having a child would be too much for you, even though he saw that you weren't like Sarah's mother. He was worried about money, about your health, about… So many things that he just couldn't feel joy.

He knew that avoiding you was stupid and that it wouldn't change anything. He had to come to terms with the idea of becoming a dad for the second time. He didn't want to let you down, and yet he didn't know how to change.

The day you called him to tell him your belly hurt, he felt a twinge of fear. When you finished talking, he felt guilty. What if his dislike for this child and lack of joy caused a curse? He even stopped the car on the side of the road and considered turning around, but… Joel Miller was a coward and decided to distort reality. He figured that if he didn't turn back, nothing bad would happen. And then everything got even worse. He was distracted and left his phone in the car. When Tommy asked him for car keys because he wanted to go pick up some building supplies, Joel didn't think twice. Only later did he realize his stupidity. You might want to contact him. When Tommy finally returned, Joel immediately checked his phone. Three missed calls from you and one text message… The content of the message was etched in his chest. He had to lean on the car to keep from falling over.

His brother's voice seemed muffled.

"Jo… Bro, what happened?"

When he could finally take a deeper breath, he croaked.

"Y/N is in the hospital… I think it's about the baby…"

Tommy sighed heavily, not sure how to react. He saw how reluctant Joel was to the idea of having another child, but he hoped that his brother would come to his senses and change his mind, but it was too late.

"You should go to her."

"She definitely hates me."

Tommy snorted and grabbed his brother's arm.

"Sometimes I can't believe you're the older one. Even if she hates you now, your ass should be in the hospital… It was your baby too!"

Joel took a step back and felt the sting of tears in his eyes.

"I know…"

His brother softened a bit.

"Shall I take you to her?"

He shook his head and gripped his keys tighter, then got into the car. All the way to the hospital he kept telling himself that he had to be strong. He wanted to be your support, but… The moment he saw you in the hospital bed… So vulnerable, dressed in a terrible salmon hospital gown, his heart sank. You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve all this suffering and an asshole boyfriend like him. He felt like he let you down. Instead of focusing on your suffering, he fell into self-blame.

So when you woke up, he didn't know what to do. He thought that just hugging you would be enough. He hoped this gesture would let you know how sorry he was. But Joel was a fool.

And when you asked, "Why weren't you with me?" he felt as if all his worst fears had come true.

You hated him. It was obvious. He left you when you needed him the most. He felt like he was going to fall apart and start crying like a baby. So he did what he always did when he felt like this, he put on a tough guy pose and answered back with the sentence that hurt you so much.

"I can't be everywhere."

And, the moment those words left his mouth, he realized how he had screwed up. How could he be such an asshole to blame you? But he couldn't take it back. When you said you wanted to sleep, he thought it was the perfect excuse to retreat and run away.

Joel Miller was selfish again. He wanted to protect his heart and his feelings without understanding how much he hurt you. But when he returned home, he felt empty… He walked into the bedroom on heavy legs, and when he saw a blood stain on the sheet, he fell apart. He fell to the floor and started crying like a baby.

How could he do this to you? He didn't deserve you, your kindness and love, but he couldn't let go of you. When he calmed down, he decided to clean up and then he had a brilliant idea. He decided that the best way to survive this crisis was to downplay the significance of the tragedy. Yes. He decided that he needed to help you get back to normal life as soon as possible. There was no point in despairing any longer.

A tragedy had befallen you, but he couldn't change anything.

The problem was that his plan didn't work. For the next few days, he was only met with your indifference. No matter how nice he was, you didn't respond in any way. His idealized relationship disappeared like a mirage. There were no more warm dinners, sweet kisses, and joyful smiles.

When he saw you lying on the couch, eyes glued to the TV, he felt guilt consume him. He even started to want you to react in any way. He would even prefer you to scream at him, throw plates at him, cry, but… You were just like a ghost. A ghost that haunted him and reminded him of how he had screwed up.

When he came home and didn't see you on the couch, he was naively happy at first. He thought you were finally feeling better. Maybe you were reading a book in the bedroom and waiting for him… Or taking a shower… Then it slowly dawned on him that something was wrong. It was too empty and too quiet.

"Y/N!"

Joel looked into the bedroom, the bathroom, and even to Sarah's room.

"Y/N, baby, where are you?!"

He finally walked into the kitchen and found a note from you. He read it once… Second, third… Tenth time… And he didn't understand anything. He felt like you had ripped his heart out. First, he felt anger and even thoughts appeared in his mind: Well, let her go… But it quickly disappeared…

He started to panic because he suddenly realized how much he loved you. He took out his phone and tried to call you, but you didn't answer. He tried again and again… Finally, with trembling hands, he texted you:

'Babe… I know I deserve it and that you're hurt, but please, at least write that you're okay. I want you to be safe… I love you.'

He didn't even care that his message sounded desperate. For the first time in a long time, he wasn't ashamed to admit his feelings. He took a bottle of beer and sat on the couch with a piece of paper in his hand. He focused on the words: … for a while. He clung to these few words so tightly that he didn't want to pay attention to the rest. He wanted to cling to the hope that it wasn't too late… He wanted to believe that you would come back to him, after some time… * It was a long drive from Austin to Florida, so halfway you decided to stop and sleep at a motel. You even started to regret not taking the plane, but you were so desperate that you couldn't think straight. When you threw yourself on the crappy bed with a groan, you decided to check your phone. Throughout the trip, you consistently ignored checking to see if Joel had called you. When you saw a few calls from him and a text message, it made you feel better on one hand. At least he was thinking about you. When you read his message, you were shocked. It didn't sound like, Joel… Did he realize his mistake? But on the other hand, it also sounded a bit infantile, as if you had argued over something trivial, and not lost a child. But you knew it would be unrealistic to expect a long essay from someone like Joel. He just wasn't that type. You sighed and rolled onto your back, your phone raised above your head. Part of you wanted to be mean and not text him back. You wanted to leave him in suspense, but… It just wasn't fair. You believed his concern for you in that moment was genuine. So you bit your lip and replied:

'I'm okay.'

Almost immediately, your phone started ringing. You rejected Joel's call and in half a minute there was another message.

'Where are you? Can we talk?'

You snorted and were about to use obscene words, but you stayed calm.

'On the way to Florida. I don't want to talk.' * Joel's heart trembled when he read your message. Florida?! It almost sounded like the North Pole. He was counting on you being somewhere closer, that he could just get in the car and drive to you. His hands began to shake as he wrote another message. Although he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

'For how long?'

When he got your answer, he felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him.

'I don't know, for a month, for two… forever.'

He felt like screaming. He was angry with you. Yes, he knew he was the one who screwed up, but if you had at least let him talk to you. He decided to approach you from a slightly different angle and let some of his anger flow out of him.

'What about your job, what about our lives, what about your things… Everything?' * You groaned in annoyance when you saw his message. This is cold old Joel who calculates everything. As if emotions played no role. You waited a few minutes and sent him another message.

'I can do my job remotely, and if not, I will find a new one. Apparently, only I cared about our life together. And my things… You can pack them up and throw them in the basement!'

Then you put your head under the pillow and turned off your phone. You had enough. * Joel sighed deeply as he read your message and realized that he had screwed up again. He just didn't know what he was doing wrong… How could he fix it? He went to the bedroom and grabbed your sweatshirt from the locker. Then he lay down on the bed and pressed his nose into the soft material. He certainly wasn't going to throw your stuff into the basement. Your things were the last thing that gave him hope that he wasn't completely alone because of him acting like a dick. * When you reached your friend, Maddie, you felt a sense of relief… Momentary peace. For a moment, it seemed as if all the bad things were behind you. All the pain, suffering, and loss no longer affected you, but that was just an illusion. When Maddie hugged you and told you she was sorry for your loss, you broke down and started crying. No matter how much you tried to downplay your loss, it hurt just as much as it did in the hospital when Joel left you.

Once you calmed yourself, you two sat down together on the floor in her living room and opened a bottle of wine. You started talking. You could finally let it all out. At one point Maddie said:

"God… What a terrible guy! That's what it's like with these older guys. They expect…"

"Do not say that!"

Your outburst of anger surprised both you and her.

"What?"

You took a long sip of wine and tried to hold back the tears.

"Joel is not a monster… Yes, he let me down and… Maybe our relationship isn't perfect, but… Our relationship wasn't just a failure. When he held me in his arms when we cuddled on the couch… Life with him was pleasant and his age didn't change that…"

You couldn't stop crying anymore and the first tears rolled down your cheeks. Maddie frowned and muttered.

"You… Do you still love him?"

You closed your eyes and sighed heavily. It was obvious. You couldn't just kill this love.

"Yes," you whispered.

"And yet you left him."

You opened your eyes and your friend saw deep pain.

"It's just… Sometimes you can't be everywhere." *

Tag list: @fahemzzz @picketniffler @elliaze @txtattoostark @this--is--music @anavatazes @simplyreading96 @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @southernbe @sarahhxx03 @noisynightmarepoetry @jasminedragoon @pedromousposts @joeldjarin

Permanentny tag list: @harriedandharassed

Part 1

Part 3

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #angst #its so sad #tlou fic

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tightjeansjavi · 7 months

Text

about what my hands and my body done

A/N: this is all @amanitacowboy @chaotic-mystery fault 😩 once again, angst with sprinkled in smut because I am a menace that cannot be stopped!

~word count: 472~ (see! I can write drabble..sometimes)

Summary: Joel’s hands. That’s it. That’s the summary.

Pairing | post! outbreak Joel Miller x f! reader

Warnings: smut, fingering, hand kink??, angst, blood, tears, you’re like literally in love with Joel’s hands, +18 minors dni!

main masterlist masterlist

Joel Miller’s hands must have surely been sculpted by the gods themselves. Why else would they look so perfect? He’d disagree, naturally. He viewed them to be ugly, unnatractive, useless in the cases where they were so damaged, he’d have to grit his teeth together to mask the pain. To you? They were beautiful. Perfectly crafted to encase around your hand like a shield. Or purchased around your throat, like a pretty necklace. You especially loved it when he used those hands of his to pry your thighs apart, tsking under his breath when they would subconsciously snap shut when the sensation of his fingers knuckle deep inside of you became too much for you to handle. A mix between pain and pleasure as your eyes would screw shut, head thrown back as you cried out his name.

“Keep ‘em open f’me. Can’t make you cum if you ain’t obeyin’ and bein’ a good girl f’me.” He rasped as his thumb began to paint practiced strokes across your neglected clit. He always knew how to play your strings just right.

Hands that could send you reeling into a blissful state that only he was capable of bringing you too. Hands that held you protectively with shameless care. Grasping your hips, your arm, with blunt fingernails lightly pressing into your skin. Splayed across your tummy as he holds you close at night. Fingertips twitching, quivering against your flesh; another nightmare rolls through like clockwork. Fingertips to be held, admired, kissed, licked, worshiped.

Bruised knuckles over the years, torn skin, crusted blood as you leave featherlight whispers of kisses on his wounds. Hands that have killed for you, cared for you, protected you.

Wrinkles, veins, scarred tissue; all beautiful. All him; all yours.

Hands that grasped a gun firmly, and your face delicately. Rough pads of thumbs brush away freshly fallen tears.

“Never g’nna leave you. Ain’t no one on this god forsaken earth can take me from you, angel.” He fiercely reassured you. Hands streaked in blood, not of his own, but of another. Fingernails encrusted with grime and flesh tissue. Not his. Not his.

“I’ll crawl home to you everytime. Every goddamn time. I’ll give every motherfucker hell if they try’n take me from you.”

Hushed tone, soft touches, acidic copper, salt. Tears mixing with your own as he kisses you soft, sweet, tender. Hands grasping yours with a trembled grasp.

Tongues tangled, teeth clash, rough fingertips gliding under the confines of your shirt; his. Grasping at skin, biting at flesh, hold me. Hold me. Hold me. You beg, unneeded as he’s already there, holding you as close as he can, it’s not enough. It’s never enough as you cling to him as if your life depends on it.

I’m here. I’m right here.

Hands that hold you steady, keeping you safe and warm, even as they tremble fiercely.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤍

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daddy-dins-girl · 7 months

Note

CAN YOU DO A PEDRO BOYS IDEAL FIRST DATE

Ok well I don't have an alignment chart for this one, but I can provide some headcanons!

And apologies, I didn't get ALL the boys in here, but I got a lot. Feel free to reblog with HC's of any of the boys I missed.

Hope this is somewhat what you had in mind!

PS: My ask box is always open.

Headcanons under the cut!

Joel Miller - Joel takes you to a bar. It’s a little divey, but not without its charm. There’s live music and all the furniture is made of rich mahogany that gleams even under the low lighting. Joel looks amazing, foregoing his usual flannel for a black button-down shirt that’s tucked into dark jeans and a brown leather belt. Once you’ve gotten your drinks from the bar he takes you to a round booth and slides in right next to you, slinging his arm over the back of the bench and over your shoulders so that there’s no question to anyone else in the establishment who exactly you came here with (and who you’re leaving with). The table he picked is close to the stage so that every time you want to talk to each other you need to lean in real close just to hear what the other is saying. You think he did that on purpose, and you think you like Joel. scorcher score:🌶️🌶️🌶️

Marcus Pike - Marcus has planned everything ahead of time. He has a reservation for a restaurant he knows you’d love, based on just the few short conversations you’d had previous to setting up this date. After your meal you take a romantic walk along the pier at his suggestion and you wonder why Marcus keeps checking his watch every few minutes until suddenly fireworks start bursting high in the sky above your heads and you realize he wanted to time your walk perfectly so that you wouldn’t miss the scheduled show. He’s literally so adorable you could melt. You pretend to be cold as you watch the colorful display in the sky so that he’ll maybe put his arm around you. He does, but not until after shrugging out of his suit jacket and laying it across your shoulders first. You have a second date on the books before the first one even ends. scorcher score:🌶️

Dave York - You’re certain it’s no coincidence that Dave picked a restaurant that happened to be inside of a fancy hotel. And to his credit, you’re at the concierge desk before dessert has even been served, pawing all over each other while he hands the clerk his AMEX card and reminds them you do not wish to be disturbed this evening. scorcher score:🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Jack Daniels - Jack takes you to the rodeo. You’ve never been before so it’s actually really fun and exciting as he explains all the events to you and you look around in wonder at everything happening around you. Jack failed to mention, however, that he’s in the fucking rodeo. You don’t mind though because the whole bucking bronco thing? Kinda hot… Later you make sure to tell him that, and to leave the hat on. scorcher score:🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Max Phillips - Max called it a “date” when he’d invited you. You (and literally everyone else including Webster’s Dictionary) would actually refer to what he’s brought you to as an orgy but… tomato/tomahto. Max Phillips is an absolute menace, but you knew that already. scorcher score:🚨 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ 🚨

Javi Gutierrez - He takes you to the movies, of course. You half expect him to have rented out the entire theater for just the two of you, but once the movie starts playing you watch in awe of how into it he gets, eyes lighting up like a kid at Christmas. And it's not just the movie, but the joy he seems to get from sharing the experience with the hundred or so people around you. It’s sweet. He’s sweet. scorcher score: 🌶️

Frankie Morales - He picks you up from your place and drives for a good hour up the coast line until he stops finally for what he tells you is the absolute best taco truck you’ll ever experience (and turns out, he’s not wrong). After dinner and an ice cream cone from another nearby food truck he holds your shoes (and your hand) as you take a walk down the beach on warm sand while soft summer waves lap at your feet. You absolutely let him get to 3rd base in the cab of his truck before he drops you off. scorcher score:🌶️🌶️🌶️

Javier Peña - It’s not exactly a date, but you do get a text to your phone at 2am. “U up?” scorcher score:🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Maxwell Lord - Maxwell wants to show you off. He takes you to a swanky party that is crawling with Washington’s social elites. Politicians, Diplomats and business men and women make up a majority of the guest list and he’s eager to have you on his arm when he makes introductions. The party is a little stuffy, a little boring, so when the entertainment portion of the evening begins and everyone is distracted, you and Maxwell happily sneak off to the back of the coat check room for your own private party instead. Maxwell turns out to be a little spicier than you originally gave him credit for. scorcher score:🌶️🌶️🌶️

Oberyn Martell - see “Max Phillips”. scorcher score:🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Marcus Moreno - Marcus takes you to a carnival that happens to be in town for the weekend. You shove cotton candy in each other’s faces like complete dorks in love, share your first kiss at the top of the ferris wheel, walk the fairgrounds eating snow cones, and before the night is over Marcus wins you a teddy bear with a red ribbon around its neck that is literally so huge you can barely get it through your front door later that night when he drops you off. scorcher score:🌶️🌶️

Dieter Bravo - very similar to Javier Peña, except the text he sends is all in emojis... “🍆 💦 🍑 ❓🥺” scorcher score:🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Choose your first date! It's a tough one but... gun to my head, I think I'm going with Frankie.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #dieter bravo #max phillips #agent whiskey #dave york #frankie morales #javier peña #javi gutierrez #oberyn martell #marcus moreno #marcus pike #maxwell lord #asks

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wardenparker · 1 year

Text

Surprising Reunions, part 2

Joel Miller x Dieter Bravo x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 13.9k Warnings: As always, plenty of cursing. It’s spicy times, everyone! MMF threesome, biting, praise for everybody, hair pulling, oral sex (f and m receiving), exhibitionist/voyeur tones, rough sex, anal play, anal sex, unconventional lubricants, MM sex, virginity mention, begging, fingering, mention of infertility, vaginal sex, unprotected sex Summary: As the night goes on, things between you, Dieter, and Joel intensify, and the depths of what remains between your husband and his first love becomes clear. Notes: As unexpected a pairing as this story has, I really have to say how much I love them. We started out wanting to write some simple smut and fell deep into a pit of feels -- and I’m very glad that we did.

Read part one here!

From the doorway both men hear you huff in amusement before you appear, clearly having heard the last thing your husband said. “I was going to come see how you’re making out, but it looks like you took over cooking.” Still, you don’t step into the doorway but rather lean in the frame. “I set Ellie up in the bathtub in our suite so she can wash up before dinner. Clean clothes, a little fire to keep the water warm. Enough soap to feel human again. Just what she needed.”

“Thank you.” Joel offers, swallowing slightly with unease now that the two men aren’t alone. It wouldn’t be the first time that Dieter embellished the truth slightly. “I, uh— I have no intention of causing problems.” He offers.

“There’s no problem to cause.” You shake your head at him, glad to see that your husband has cleared the air a little. “Dee has always been capable of loving more than one person. I certainly don’t hold a grudge or anything against you for it, that would be a little dramatic. He’s perfectly capable of loving us both.”

“I— love?” Joel frowns in confusion, looking at Dieter, and then back at you. “Like— still as in right now?”

Dieter looks at you pleadingly, as if you could rewind time thirty seconds and stop speaking much sooner, and you grimace. “Shit…” You murmur, looking between them. “I thought…sorry, baby…”

“I didn’t want to say it and freak you out,” Dieter admits. He rubs the back of his neck with one hand and looks up at the ceiling with a sigh. “But yeah. Like right now. Like…always.”

“I didn’t know.” Joel admits, glad that he’s cleaned his hands and steps over to where his former lover is standing, mortified. “It’s okay. I’ve— I’ve never forgotten you. I always thought it was normal to love your first…everything.” While Joel had kissed another girl first, Dieter had everything else. Every experience was wrapped around him.

“Now you know why I made you my freebie.” Dieter mutters, red-faced but not upset. If he were brave like you or Joel, he would have just come right out and said it.

“I don’t mind that at all.” Joel admits, glancing over at you again. “How do you feel about it now that you’ve met me?”

“I think he downplayed the sexy, gruff, and strong thing a little.” Leaving your doorway, you step into the kitchen to come stand with Joel and Dieter. “I’m not expecting you and Ellie to move in and build a perfect little family with us or something, but I’m glad to see that you still care about him after so long.”

“I do care about him.” Joel can admit that easily. “I’ll always care about him.” He leans his hip against the counter and crosses his arms. “Enough to suggest that if you want to leave, you can come with us and find a settlement.”

You were never going to bring it up. It wasn’t going to be a topic of conversation or even something you wanted to think on while Joel and Ellie were at the hotel. But the fact is that the time may not be too far away when staying here is no longer viable. “We’ve been doing our best for so long. Leaving here is actually a fairly daunting idea.” Daunting. Terrifying. But you know that if Dieter looked you in the eyes and said he wanted to stick with Joel, you would pack up and follow.

“I understand that.” Joel does, especially since you’ve been here for twenty years. This is your home. “I get that. And if you want to stay here, I can – I can make sure that I find a place that would accept you and come back.”

“I’m not saying we wouldn’t leave.” You’ve talked about it, of course. If you and Dieter do anything, it’s talk through things — and fuck. But that’s not important right now. “I’m just saying it would be a longer conversation than the three of us standing around the kitchen.”

“Absolutely.” Joel agrees quickly. “And it’s a conversation you should have. The road isn’t easy. I won’t sugar coat it, it’s hell. And dangerous.”

“Tonight could just be a chance to relax?” Dieter offers, looking up from the pan of potatoes that he’s just put on the stove. “Maybe you guys could…get to know each other?” The tone in his voice is hopeful. After all, you’re the two most important people to him in the world.

“That’s up to your wife.” Joel murmurs, staring at you intensely. “Do you want to get to know me?” He asks, voice dropping down a few octaves unconsciously.

“Sounds like you want to get to know me.” You shoot him a smirk before looking over at Dieter. He wants this, you know he does, and it’s not as though you’re not attracted to Joel. Being married doesn’t make you blind. When your eyes track back to Joel, he’s still watching you with intensity. An intensity that makes you shiver with anticipation. “Kiss me.”

Joel’s eyes flicker over to Dieter and he can see the way the man is practically vibrating with excitement and anticipation. Looking back at you before he pushes off the counter and slowly approaches you, watching you for any sign of reluctance as he closes the gap between you.

Brave is a word that Dieter uses to describe you a lot. You’re never quite sure if you agree with him, but right now you would go with curious before anything else. Joel means so much to Dee that you really have wondered what - if any - relationship you would have had with the man. Now that you’re about to find out, it’s making your heart beat faster than you expected.

Joel reaches out and takes your hip with his hand to tug you closer to him. “Hopefully I don’t disappoint you.” He hums, wishing he had cleaned up before, but it’s just a kiss. He’ll clean up before anything else happens.

It’s on the tip of your tongue to say that you’re not worried, but the closer he gets the more any words at all stick in your throat. His hands on your hip and yours on his shoulder are the connecting points that pull you into each other and a mere second or two later your eyes have slipped shut as you press your lips to his.

The first kiss is always a good indicator of how compatible Joel will be with someone. The feeling is smooth, easy, the way that you open for him. Making him groan at the softness with a hint of neediness.

He’s the same height as Dieter but feels broader somehow, more like he’s going to swallow you up if he puts his arms around you just right. Firm and yielding all at once, Joel seems to lean into the moment once it starts and you tilt your head back a little more to let him explore. You know that Dieter’s dual voyeur and exhibitionist tendencies are enjoying the hell out of this, and you have to admit – the way your pussy bottomed out at the first moan from his throat is a very good sign.

It’s been a long goddamn time since he’s done anything like this. Anything that feels almost taboo, which is hard when you’ve lived twenty years past the end of the world. He doesn’t rush, but he deepens the kiss, licking into your mouth to taste you just as thoroughly as he had Dieter earlier. Comparing the flavors of the two of you in his mind.

He’s more assertive than Dieter is, exploring rather than coaxing, and reeling you into him with purpose. There’s want there, and it draws a moan from the back of your throat that you can just imagine Dieter is already desperate to hear again.

Joel’s hands are always eager to touch. Sometimes in anger or fury, sometimes in comfort - though that is rare - but now, he wants to just touch you. To fill his hands with your flesh and explore the dips and swells of your curves. He presses further into your space, nearly crushing you to him as his hands start to wander, and you wind yours around his shoulders. There’s something simmering here, something new and gorgeous and dangerously like a spark.

Another small groan, another sharp inhale. Joel cracks an eye open to find Dieter inching closer, practically salivating. He breaks off the kiss and hums. “Remember how we said we would share a woman one day?” Joel asks. “Think she wants to be shared?”

“She loves to be shared.” Dieter nearly chokes on the words, reaching for both you and Joel and digging his fingers into each of you equally. “It’s how we slept together the first time.”

“You’ll have to tell me about it.” Joel groans. “Although, I want to fuck you again, pretty boy.”

“You’re the only one who gets to call me that without getting a dirty look.” Dee has leaned in fully and looks about ready to devour both of you.

“Well…” you smirk. “You are giving him a dirty look. Just dirty-sexy instead of dirty-upset.”

“So we eat, I clean up, and once the kid passes out…” Joel smirks. “I want your wife to sit her pretty pussy on my face while you suck my cock.” He tells Dieter with a wink.

Dieter groans, crushing his lips to Joel’s momentarily before turning and doing the same to you. His approval of the idea is obvious to both of you, and you don’t hesitate to cup his growing hard on over his pants just to feel the way his hips jerk forward in your hand. Joel chuckles quietly, amused that Dieter is still so eager, even at his age. Sex might have been his first addiction if he were to sit down and think about it. "Then you can tell me what you've been imagining all these years."

“So much.” The gravel in Dieter’s voice is like a promise to you. You’re so familiar with it and how exhausted you’ll be once he’s satiated when that voice happens, that you know you have to step back right now or you’ll get too eager.

“Come on, boys,” you have a hand on each of them. “We have a meal to cook. Otherwise we won’t have the energy for all of Dee’s fantasies.”

“He’s always had a good imagination.” Joel chuckles and takes a step back himself.

“Always.” To that you can absolutely agree.

“Something you both love about me,” Dieter points out, and goes to sit at the counter again to let himself calm down. Having a hard on when the kid comes downstairs wouldn’t be good.

“So fish and potatoes?” Joel asks, needing to concentrate on something else himself. “It sounds good.”

Onions and mushrooms are also produced, and eventually the fish bones are simmering in water to make a stock with some spices and what is cooking on the stove when Ellie re-emerges is a decent smelling fish stew. There’s nothing exotic about it but it’s hearty food, and the three of you seemed to have calmed down measurably - now amiably chatting about favorite books when the teen comes through the doorway.

“What’s going on?” She demands, eyeing everyone. Joel is never this happy and he’s smirking. “Did everyone kiss or something?” She needles playfully. “Waiting for me to go to sleep?”

“The boys are having fun reminiscing.” You tell her, glossing past the question. “Do the clothes fit okay?”

“They’re good.” Ellie shrugs but she looks down at the T-shirt she’s wearing. “What’s Linkin Park?” She demands, not placing the phrase.

Joel snorts when he looks up and you bite your lip in amusement. “They were a band,” you tell her. It’s a good opportunity to steer things away from intimate conversation. “What kind of music do you like?”

Ellie shrugs. “Haven’t heard a lot of music. The shit FEDRA made us listen to in school sucked.” She rolls her eyes.

“I’ll teach you how to use the gramophone while you’re here.” The old machine had been stored up in the attic untouched and undiscovered for years. When you had finally gone digging up there out of sheer desperation for something new it was an amazing discovery. “One of the people staying here was a record collector, so there’s lots of things to listen to. Although…no Linkin Park. Mostly older stuff.”

“So they played…rock music?” Ellie’s brows shoot up in interest. “Cool.”

“Why do I feel like you would have a metalhead on your hands if she could?” The smile you flash Joel is measurably softer than when you had looked at him earlier and you hope Ellie doesn’t poke. She’s an observant kid.

“Could you imagine this kid at a concert?” He asks, shaking his head in amusement.

“Mosh pit.” Dieter nearly cackles. “I can see this kid in a mosh pit.”

“She would be throwing elbows for sure.” Joel grunts.

“What’s a mosh pit?” Ellie frowns at being talked about in front of her face. “And why am I throwing my elbows at people?”

Dieter and Joel chuckle together and Dieter decides to answer this one. “Everyone gets into a big group and the dancing gets violent as they listen to heavy metal. Bouncing up and down, crowd surfing, head banging.”

“Beating people up to music?” Ellie makes a huh sound of consideration and shrugs. “Sounds like you guys all needed better hobbies. But I bet the music was good.”

“Wasn’t my style, but it had its moments.” Joel tells her fondly. “Especially if you were in a bad mood.”

“Probably better than the old man music you played in Bill’s truck.” She hops up on her stool from earlier and retrieves the water glass she hadn’t quite finished. “Old dudes with guitars singing about horses and stuff.” Ellie explains to you. “Boring.”

Joel sighs and rolls his eyes, amazed that teenagers never seem to change no matter what. “Yeah, you could have kept reading the magazine.” Joel snorts.

“Blegh.” She pulls a face, looking around the room and realizing that she is the only one present who had no interest in naked men whatsoever. “So…food smells good.”

Joel can’t help but chuckle at the horrified expression before she changes the subject. “It does.” He murmurs. “And you look clean, for the first time in a long time. Maybe even can sleep in a real bed tonight.”

“Absolutely. She’ll have her own room, not just her own bed.” Something that is all the more helpful, you think, considering the debauched shit you’ll be doing down the hall…

Ellie snorts and sends you a look that clearly says she knows what you are up to. “Hopefully far away from you guys.”

“Hey, look at that, Ellie volunteered to set the table for us.” You laugh when she groans and direct her to the stack of glasses, silverware, and bowls that you amassed while not talking to - or making out with - the guys.

“Who sets tables?” Ellie huffs under her breath, aware of what it is. As she has mentioned to Joel several times, books are still a thing. “Why? Everyone’s just grabbing food anyway.”

“Sometimes it’s nice to do things the old-fashioned way.” You scoop up the stack of low bowls and sweep her out the door at your side. You’ll do it with her, then. That’s fine. It’s just nice to pretend things are a little closer to the way they used to be tonight.

“You’re gonna show me how to do it?” Ellie asks, grabbing the other things and hurrying after you. Most adults barked orders or acted like she should just know. Joel didn’t, unless it was yelling at her about being safe.

“The hotel used to do it a fancy way, but I can show you how my mom taught me at home.” She’s a sweet kid, and in general you always liked kids. It’s just a damn shame that they can’t have childhoods for the most part anymore. Everyone has to grow up right away in the world the way it is now.

“That’s cool.” Ellie relaxes slightly, frowning as she watches you fold the cloth napkins. “You— in the kitchen, you said something.” She ventures after a moment. Looking down at her own napkin to fold it like she had just watched you do it. “You said everyone in that room was – you know…queer?”

“Yeah.” It was true, no use beating around the bush about it. “Do people not use that word anymore? It’s been a long time since I talked to anybody about it but my husband, so I’m sorry if it’s offensive.”

“No, they use it.” Ellie reassures you. “I just— you’re married to Dieter. Does that mean you— you’ve been with women too?” She’s hesitant to ask, but she’s gotta know. It would be nice to talk to someone who doesn’t have a dick about things like this.

“Ah.” Sitting down in one of the chairs at the round table you’re setting together, you turn to give Ellie your full attention. “Yes. That’s exactly what I meant. Did you…want to talk about something? Or ask me something?” You remember your own sexual awakening and coming out as painstaking and awkward at the best of times. You can only guess what kind of hell she’s had to go through.

“Not now.” Ellie glances back at the kitchen doors as if Joel and Dieter will come rushing through. “Just— uh, maybe sometime before we leave? If that’s okay?”

“Absolutely.” Without hesitation, you give her shoulder a squeeze and go back to folding napkins like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “How about tomorrow we go for a walk and we can talk about whatever you want?”

“That would be cool.” Ellie brightens considerably and shoots you a grin. “Really fucking cool.”

It only takes the two of you a few more minutes to get things set up and then Joel brings the pot out from the kitchen with Dieter trailing behind carrying a ladle and pitcher of water like the master of ceremonies. “Dinner is served!” He announces with glee.

It’s been a long time since they’ve had a hot, fresh meal and Joel is grateful for it. Smirking as the kid immediately plops down in a chair and eyes the pot hungrily. “Thank you.” He offers. “For sharing with us.” You didn’t have to, despite the history between him and Dieter and he is grateful.

“Friends are few and far between these days.” Dieter shrugs his shoulders as he starts to portion out the stew. “It’s nice to share with people we care about.”

All of you know that it’s still generous but Joel just nods and sits down beside Ellie. “We’re gonna stay for a couple of days.” He tells her. “Rest up.”

“We’re gonna go for a walk tomorrow.” Ellie reports cheerfully, pointing at you with her thumb before she digs into her dinner.

“Just around the grounds.” The last thing you want is for Joel to worry. Despite his insistence that the girl is only a responsibility, he clearly does worry about her. “We won’t wander. I promise.”

Joel hesitates for a moment, watching you and finding that you have every intention of being safe. He nods. “That’ll be good.” He offers, taking the water pitcher from Dieter. “Sure, you can talk about things we don’t understand.”

“There’s plenty we don’t understand.” Dieter snickers. “They’ll have tons to talk about.”

“Never said I was a genius.” Joel grumbles, aware of how many things he doesn’t know.

******

As simple as the meal is, it’s satisfying and delicious. Ellie wants to listen to music after eating so you show her the gramophone and records while Joel and Dieter clean up, and two hours after sitting down to eat the four of you are climbing the stairs to the habitable suites on the fourth floor. It’s worth the climb for the promise of soft beds and warm fires, and Ellie happily retreats to her own set of rooms to light a fire and sift through some books that she pulled out of the mail-slots-turned-bookcases in the lobby.

Even if it’s lukewarm water from buckets in the kitchen, Joel groans at the feeling of scrubbing soap into his skin. Closing his eyes and sighing as he lathers up his entire body to sluice off after doing so, the kitchen drain working as a shower for this hasty bath.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little nervous, but Dieter flits around the room like an anxious new bride. He’s made the bed, cleaned up his bedside table, and washed his face all while yammering endlessly to himself. “Hey.” You stop him when he passes by you at the fireplace the fourth time. “We don’t have to do this, ya know. If it’s too much, I mean. We can just sit and talk tonight.”

“I’m nervous.” Dieter admits, sighing like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “It’s Joel and I just— I want it to be what I remember. What I’ve wanted every time I was with another man.”

“It’s not going to be exactly the same, baby.” This is one of many times that you’re grateful Dieter has never had trouble opening up to you. Twenty minutes into your relationship or twenty years, he had always been honest. “You’ve both grown up a lot. But that means you can have new experiences with him now, and that is its own kind of wonderful.”

“I know.” Dieter bites his lip. “I just – he knows how I feel and it’s just – I never thought I would actually get to have the two people I love together.” He confesses.

“It’s not like we could just call him up and invite him over.” The world as it is has made a lot of dreams obsolete or impossible, so you can understand that Dieter had just put this thought aside entirely. “But I love you so much, baby. And I’m going to do whatever I can to help make tonight good for you, okay?”

“I want it to be good for you too.” In a perfect world, he would have you and Joel curled around him every night. Making him the middle of a very sexy sandwich.

“I’m not worried about that.” You always enjoy yourself in bed with Dieter. It’s a given fact of your relationship, as well as any time you’ve had someone else in your bed. “I think we’ll all have a good time, but the key is to relax, baby.”

“Too bad he didn’t have any of that hydro with him.” Dieter pouts, hating that there’s none of his supply on him. It would have been fun to get high with the two of you tonight.

"Do you want to grab a bottle of moonshine, Dee?" There's some of it on the bar in the front room of the suite, and social lubricant - so to speak - might not be the worst idea in the world.

“I’ll go grab it.” Dieter lights up at the idea and rushes to kiss your cheek before fleeing the suite to rush downstairs to grab the bottle. You watch him go with a soft shake of your head, wondering if he remembers that there are some in the front room or if he'll go all the way downstairs to the hotel bar and end up bringing Joel upstairs with him in the process.

Dieter bypasses the front bar and bounds down the stairs with an eagerness that defies the aging joints of a man over fifty years old. Wanting to have a few sips of moonshine and relax with you and Joel, let things come naturally so everyone has a good time. He needs this to be good because he feels complete in a way he hasn't in a long time.

“It’s me!” He calls as he passes the kitchen where Joel has been washing up and changing his clothes. “Getting booze!”

“I’m done.” Joel is probably more relaxed than he’s been in a long time. A pair of sweats and a t-shirt, probably Dieter's, is all that he is wearing and it’s almost cozy in its lazy appeal. The building is secure and it’s almost like he’s on a vacation.

“Everything fit okay?” They’ve always been roughly the same size, but Dieter is still nervous when he pops his head around the corner to look in on Joel.

“Yeah.” Joel chuckles. “You like baggier clothes at the end of the world. But at least everything breathes.”

“I liked baggier clothes before the end of the world.” Dieter grumbles. “Damn stylist is the one who had me in the other shit.”

“You looked good in it.” Joel hadn’t obsessed like some might have, but if he saw Dieter on a magazine cover, he picked it up and thumbed through it. Mainly while waiting to buy his and Sarah’s groceries.

“You old softie.” The grin on Dieter’s face is unrepentant. Going for humor instead of sentiment has always been his best armor. “You looked at the glamour shots?”

“Hard to miss them when your ass was plastered all over the place.” Joel grumbles, even though he’s smirking at his lover fondly. “You always were an attention whore.”

“Again, I went to Hollywood.” The exasperated hand that Dieter waves is just for show, he can’t help but smile at Joel. “I don’t know why anybody thinks I’m not super fucking aware of myself.”

“Because you act like you don’t care.” Joel murmurs softly, always able to see Dieter for who he is. “You act like your life depends on it.”

“Only one other person can do that, ya know.” He huffs and waves for Joel to follow him out of the kitchen. “I came down to get a bottle from the bar. Let’s go upstairs.”

“Lead the way.” Joel grins at the way Dieter blushes and seems almost demure as they make their way towards the stairs.

“There’s…” he swallows, working to cover his nerves, and studiously watches his steps so he doesn’t trip going up the stairwell. “There’s no pressure.” Dieter murmurs. Despite what he wants more than anything, no one is going to enjoy themselves at all if they feel forced.

Joel’s chuckle can only be described as dirty as it echoes in the stairwell. “I might be old, but there’s still plenty of pressure.” He teases, reaching out and touching the small of Dieter’s back. “But only the kind that will go away once we are all exhausted and sticky.”

That image earns him a low groan from Dieter, who speeds up his steps measurably to get upstairs that much faster. “Get up here,” he grunts when Joel lags behind.

Joel chuckles and there’s still a smirk on his face as he reaches the landing for the fourth floor. “Old, remember?”

"You're barely older than me." Dieter tangles his hand in Joel's with a grin, tugging him along the hallway to lead him to the correct suite.

“Yeah, but I feel older.” Joel grunts, grinning at how eager he is to get to the room.

“There you two are.” Sitting by the fireplace with a book, you look up when the suite door bursts open, admitting the men you’ve been waiting for. “Did the stairs get the best of you? Having what is essentially a fourth-floor walk-up is kind of a bitch sometimes.”

“Not as bad as forty-fucking-three floors in Kansas City.” Joel snorts. “Kid called me a lazy ass and I was just trying not to die.”

“Forty-three?!” Both you and Dieter shudder at the thought. “My knees hurt just thinking about it.”

“So….” Joel looks around the suite, surprisingly tidy for Dieter and nods. “You’ve set yourself up well here, I’m impressed.”

“It took a long time. And the people who were here with us at first helped a lot.” Your book goes back to the little table that you keep beside your chair at the fireplace and you stand up, stretching along the way. “Ellie’s all set up down the hall. She’s got plenty of firewood for the night.”

“Good.” Dieter looks like he’s about to have a heart attack, or tear someone’s clothes off. So Joel decides to act, taking the bottle of moonshine from him and pulling the cork out of it. “Any good, Black?” He asks before he puts the bottle to his lips.

Dieter is about to say that it could be a lot smoother when Joel nearly chokes coughing on his first taste and all three of you burst out laughing, breaking the tension completely. "This batch was made with some crab apples," he explains when Joel looks at him like he's just been poisoned. "It's not exactly applejack, but you get used to it."

“Jesus.” Joel chokes out, slapping his chest and wheezing slightly. “That’ll wake your ass up.” The burn of it slides down his throat and warms his belly.

"It's a sipping drink, as they say." Dieter jokes, affecting a snobby tone.

"No, baby." You take the bottle from Joel and knock back a swig. "This is a shooting drink."

Joel takes the bottle back and takes another swig, handling it better this time because he’s expecting it. “Your turn.” He grunts, handing the bottle back to Dieter.

It’s not a competition but Dieter still manages the burn far better than either you or Joel, putting away a few solid swigs before handing the bottle off again. “Feels exactly like high school again when you start the night off with cheap, strong booze,” he jokes.

“We did drink a lot of that shit.” Didn’t hurt that his parents could never remember what they had drank and what they hadn’t so the liquor cabinet had been replenished when they were actually home.

“Sounds like you two had a far more interesting time as teenagers than I did.” You take a long drink from the bottle and pass it back to Dieter. “All I remember is pop quizzes and dances I never had dates for.”

Joel snorts. “I was a jock.” He reminds you. “Baseball. And for some reason, people liked me.”

“People still like you,” you remind him gently.

Dieter huffs. “He’s always been like this. No way he’s about to start believing it now if he didn’t then.”

Joel snorts and shakes his head. “You’re one to talk, Dee.” He huffs. “Now, are you going to kiss me, or do I need to kiss your wife?”

“I thought about it.” As if he could think of absolutely any-fucking-thing else, and he rubs his hands together eagerly. “You two should get better acquainted. I already know I want to fuck both of you.”

Joel chuckles and turns towards you. “What about you, honey?” He asks, voice dipping low as he looks at you, “Would you kiss me?”

“Is that your seduction voice?” The theory itself just amuses you, since he does not have to try that hard. “Come here, Joel.”

Joel frowns slightly, unsure of what you mean and comes closer just like you asked him to. It’s endearing, how literally he takes the direction, and you reach for his hand to pull him in closer to you. This time it’s your fingers digging into flesh and you closing the distance between the two of you slot your lips to his.

There’s been one person that Joel has kissed in twenty years besides the two of you today. He groans, letting you take control and guide the kiss where you want to take it. Wanting to see what had enthralled Dieter. To see if their taste in women ran parallel.

It's not necessarily that you're so confident tonight, but your curiosity is overwhelming. This is the man who has held a piece of Dieter's heart for more than thirty years, and now that you've met him you find that jealousy doesn't enter the equation. You and Joel are vastly different people with just a few key similarities, and there are also vast differences between Joel and Dieter. But still, somehow, you find just enough parallels for him to draw you in. The soft panting coming from Dieter's direction as you start to lick into Joel's mouth as you deepen the kiss doesn't hurt, either.

There had been so many times while they were young, horny teenagers, that they had imagined something like this. Thinking that it was impossible but dreaming of finding a woman who didn’t mind their attraction to men as well as her. It seems like a culmination of those far-flung fantasies and if he just gets tonight, or maybe a few days, Joel wants to make the most of it.

The first sound from you is a low moan, and it vibrates through you like the heat of the fire – going so deep that it gets right down to your bones and wraps around you along with Joel's arms. He tastes like remnants of dinner and the sharp zing of homemade liquor, but there is a quality to Joel that is entirely his own that is nothing like Dieter's essence. Joel is musky and deep and overtly masculine in a way that is surprisingly enthralling.

Joel hears the low whine that comes from Dieter, making him open his eyes and peer over at him. There’s a hunger, a desire burning in his lover’s eyes. The two people in front of him are ones he cares about and wants to see together. Joel’s hand slips under your shirt to span your back and unclip the bra you are wearing.

His hands are absurdly large and warm, and you groan when he pulls you in to work the clasp of your bra. It's an intoxicating feeling - you love being undressed - and in turn you slip your hands under Joel's borrowed t-shirt to slip it over his head. It's a shame you have to break the kiss, but it takes you barely a split second to dive back in again.

There’s a huff off to the side and Joel chuckles into your mouth. If you aren’t careful, Dieter will be standing naked when the two of you break away from each other. Just to hear you moan, he cups your tits and squeezes them.

“Harder.” Dieter instructs, when you moan softly at the extra attention. He knows exactly how to touch you like second nature, and he knows you need more. “She likes it rough.”

“I can do rough.” Joel growls as he pulls away and bites your jawline. His hands grow firmer, fingers twisting the tipped peaks of your breasts harshly.

“Fuck.” There’s nothing delicate about how Joel touches you now, and it’s perfect. You arch into his touch and feel Dieter step around to frame your back: fingers digging into your hips as he grinds his already hard cock into your back with a needy groan.

“Mmmmm.” Joel feels Dieter press close and his hardening cock twitches. “You like that, sweetheart?” He grunts, pinching them again. “Want me to bite them?” He doesn’t give you time to answer, just pulling back to duck his head down and wrap his lips around a nipple.

Dieter strips away your shirt and tosses your bra aside along with it, wanting to watch how eagerly Joel buries his face in your tits while the fire warms all of your skin. Reaching for each of these men with one hand, being sandwiched between them makes you feel positively petite. It doesn’t matter whether you’re large or small compared to other women - between these broad men you might as well be the daintiest women in the world.

Joel does as he’s promised, biting and then soothing. Groaning around your breast when your fingers twist into his hair and you tug gently.

“Fuuuck — that’s it, Joel. Shit.” Whining at how good it feels, your fingers pull a little harder at his hair and reach behind you to pull Dieter closer. He’s nipping at your jawline but you’re aching for a kiss.

Despite the no nonsense, gruff exterior he gives, Joel loves praise. He likes giving a partner, a lover, what they need. He does it again, shifting to kneel down more and switching to the other breast.

Breaking away from your husband, you gasp and moan a little, looking down at the man currently trying to suck your soul out through your nipples. “I think I hit a nerve,” you tease, moaning again at the scrape of his teeth. “Both you boys like praise, huh?”

“Where do you think we got it from?” Dieter gasps, jerking his hips forward and groaning in response to your fingers brushing over his cock. “Joel loved hearing how his cock drove me crazy.”

Joel’s answering groan vibrates through your skin and you whimper at the sensation. “I’ll have to re— oh my god, Joel — remember that.”

Only when each one of your nipples is puffy and perked up as much as they can get, does Joel start to kiss along your chest. Down your navel to dip his tongue into your belly button.

“Lean back, baby,” Dieter encourages, wrapping his arms around your torso to cup your tits in his hands. “Let Joel finish stripping you. Let him see that gorgeous pussy.”

Joel hums, knowing that any pussy that has kept Dieter enchanted for this long has to be magical. That was one of Joel’s hang ups, he had never known if Dieter had been…bored with him. Since he had just kind of stopped communicating after getting to California.

If he can’t smell your dripping pussy by now you’ll be shocked, but you do as Dieter orders and let Joel take over completely. His pace and his appetite will dictate how things go at least for now, because you’ve never found a reason to stop a man from eating your pussy if that’s what he wanted to do.

There's something to be said about leaning in and smelling a woman's cunt. Joel leans in, pressing his nose to your curls and inhaling. Appreciative of the fact that you had access to normal bathing practices and humming as his thumbs slide through the protective layer of hair to find the slick nub of your pleasure to press his tongue to.

Your hips buck slightly and you gasp, making Dieter chuckle darkly behind you. “That’s it, honey,” he rumbles in your ear. Both of his hands might be on you, but your husband has you caged to his chest and fully exposed. “Let Joel play.” Your knees buckle, and you might have just slithered down to the carpet if it weren’t for Dieter holding you up. Joel stares up at you as his tongue makes the first pass, wanting to see your reaction and gauge what you like.

“Goddamn.” The feeling of difference, of newness has you shivering as Joel laps at your folds. It’s been years since anyone besides Dieter touched you and Joel has a completely different air about him than your habitually submissive husband. Dee loves to serve – Joel doesn’t seem to be the same way.

Joel pushes deeper, grabbing a thigh and pulling it up over his shoulder. His knees ache and his back is protesting, but he will stay right here as long as is needed to pull you apart and leave you floating on a cloud of pleasure.

Your quick pants and curses seem to be the right brand of encouragement, because as soon as he has your leg draped over his body, Joel is a man on a nearly unhinged mission. His tongue seems to unfurl so deeply inside you that he might taste your whole being and not just your cunt. He feels the hands on his shoulders and hair, tugging, coaxing and urging him on. Listening to Dieter groan and you moan up above him. Watching the darkness of both of your eyes spurring him on.

The way Dieter had your arms pulled behind your back became moot the second he decided that playing with your tits sounded like more fun than keeping you still, and you rake one hand through Joel's wavy locks to spur him on while reaching for your husband with the other. Dieter's hard cock is pressed against the small of your back like if he tries hard enough he might be able to fuck you there, but it's your hand that he gets wrapped around his pulsing length instead.

It's amazing that he still remembers the exact sound that Dieter makes the moment someone touches him. It's whiny and needy, deeper than it had been at nineteen and more confident, but still the sound rips through Joel and makes him groan into your cunt. Reaching behind you, letting go of one of your ass cheeks so he can slide his hand up Dieter's thigh blindly.

Dieter moans - loudly - at the firm touch of Joel’s callused hand grasping his hip, and frantically tears away his jeans to give both of you full access to touch him anyway you want. You may be tangled up in each other, but that’s no reason not to reach and touch and feel. It’s filthy and decadent, taking Joel back to a time where only pleasure matters. Nothing about survival was even remotely a thought and he loses himself in the sensation.

You’re all one mass of bodies and entangled limbs until Dieter shifts his weight and you nearly topple, turning one of your own moans into an unsteady giggle. “Maybe we should get in bed?” You offer, not wanting anyone to end up with an accidental injury out of a threesome. Plus, none of you are young anymore. Joel’s knees must be killing him.

Oh so reluctantly, Joel pulls his mouth away from your sopping wet cunt, smacking his lips and he rumbles out a small chuckle. “He is always so impatient. Good to know it’s not changed.”

“In some ways I don't think he's changed much from your Dee at all.” As much as you hate to lose the gorgeous feeling of Joel’s talented tongue lapping through your folds, you know you’ll get it back in just a minute. Crossing the room to get in bed isn’t exactly a long journey. But you flash your husband a grin when you take his hand. “Or maybe he’s been our Dee all along?”

Dieter flushes, unable to deny that. Buried deep, relegated to that ‘first love’ rosy view, he’s never stopped wanting this and now it’s here. “Lay the fuck down, I’ve dreamed of sucking your cock again.” Dieter demands, his own cock bobbling heavily as he rushes over to the bed.

“Bossy.” It’s endearing because it shows how much Dieter has wanted this, and you nudge Joel onto the mattress. “Come on handsome. Plenty of room for me to sit on your face while Dee gags himself on your cock.”

It’s a rush, stripping down frantically in anticipation of touch. Nearly trembling and the hard exterior he presents to the world is crumbling under the weight of your want. Finally laying down, he doesn’t know who to reach for, so he grabs both of you, dragging you both up for a kiss.

The messy, needy moment is a clash of tongues and teeth punctuated by muffled moans, and Dieter grasps at Joel's arm to pull him that much closer. He practically crawls on top of his former - current - lover and pulls you in with him. What Dieter still feels for Joel is complicated and deep, and he wants to know if somehow you might have some of that inside you as well. If it could ever grow.

Joel’s fingers sink to Dieter’s hair, his other hand wrapped around the back of your neck to keep you from pulling away. Greedy for you both and unwilling to let either one of you out of his grasp now that he has a taste of you together. Even if lazily making out wasn't one of your favorite things in the world to begin with, it would be with Joel. If his hand had crept its way between your legs instead of rolling your nipples tightly between the pads of his fingers, you might just stay here indefinitely.

One more kiss is all Dieter can take before he is breaking away with a gasp. “Fuck Joel.” He whines. “I need- fuck, just lemme taste you again.” He leans in and bites your shoulder. “His cum always tastes so fucking sweet, like yours.”

“I think I promised he could keep eating my pussy.” You grin, leaning in to kiss your husband before throwing Joel a teasing wink. “I think our lover should be so pleasure-drunk by the end of the night that he forgets his own name. What do you think, baby?”

Dieter groans and nods. “God, baby, I want to ride his cock again. Isn’t it so pretty?”

“Do you want to ride it more than you want to suck it?” Dieter tends to get greedy when he has options and you love the little pout on his lips when you finally pull away from kissing Joel. “It’s a very pretty cock. Maybe you should do both.”

“I’m going to fuck both of you.” Joel promises, groaning at the thought.

“We have plenty of time,” you remind both impatient men, though you don’t protest when Joel reaches for you to pull you up and swing one leg over his face so he can groan into your pussy. “We don’t have to do everything in one night, guys.”

“Greedy.” Joel chuckles, turning his head and nipping your inner thigh. “He’s so fucking greedy.” He licks the skin and turns to nuzzle your curls again, burrowing his nose through the thatch.

“Jesus.” Your legs shake when the tip of his tongue snakes out to flick your clit again, but there is nothing in front of you to hold on to. The best you can do is reach behind you for the headboard to steady yourself, darkened eyes devouring the sight of the man you dedicated your life to groaning as he eagerly swallows Joel’s cock.

Joel’s eyes roll back and all he can do is show your cunt appreciation. Rumbling a moan through you while his hips shift up, eager to greet his lover’s tonsils again. Dieter had always been so eager to show he could push past his gag reflex when he was younger. Making it a race on who would cum first, you or Joel.

The rising volume in the room would be startling if you even gave a shit right now. Joel's fingers are digging into your legs as he pulls you down on his mouth like he's trying to use you to suffocate himself and Dieter is reaching across every mark and scar on Joel's skin like he can soothe them away with enough determination and affection. Joel curves his leg, bringing it up so he can rub his foot along Dieter’s calf, showing him some appreciation for the mind-blowing sensation of his mouth around his cock. It’s been so goddamn long since someone’s blown him with such unbridled enthusiasm.

Every moan from the back of Joel's throat shakes through you. Your own hands knead your breasts and pinch your own nipples for that extra lick of sensation, but it's the watching that you love. Staring unabashedly as Dieter takes every inch that Joel has to offer him over and over and over again with so much eagerness that he actually manages to gag himself a little from the sheer speed that he's bobbing on Joel's cock at.

Joel’s jaw starts to ache, working open and closed as he uses his lips and tongue the best way he knows how. He’s never been much of a talker, but he knows how to use his mouth. Squeezing your hips as his tongue lashes your clit over and over again, he encourages you to grind down on his face. Wanting to feel the weight of you on him, to have him nearly suffocate in you. It’s the only way he hasn’t lost his mind and cum yet. You nearly scream when he sucks your clit into his mouth, the all-encompassing way you shudder and gasp as the white-hot pulse of your orgasm takes over means you’re barely holding yourself up but the bed head holds. The string of incoherent praise from your lips has Dieter smirking, knowing that that reaction of yours can’t ever be faked. You’re lost in yourself as you flood Joel’s mouth with cum and watching it is so incredibly sexy.

Closing his eyes, Joel moans. Aware that the mouth around his cock has slowed down. Holding him in his throat but that's okay with Joel. Needing a moment to cool down so he doesn’t cum too soon. Busy drinking down your release as you writhe beautifully above him.

For Dieter, edging is almost a religious experience, and he knows now that both he and Joel need to cool off a little so you can enjoy yourself the maximum amount. You both love to watch - specifically watch each other - and the way he’s bent over Joel right now feels like worship. This is the closest Dieter ever gets to worship. Worshiping the people he loves.

For his part, Joel doesn’t stop working you through your orgasm until you are shifting away. Your cunt moving away from his mouth as you can’t take anymore and he flops back onto the bed when he can’t chase your lips anymore. “Fuck.”

Dieter grins lazily at the expletive, keeping his hand wrapped around Joel’s shaft even as he looks up between the two of you. “We can if we want to.”

Joel rolls his head to the side and smirks at you. “Why don’t you suck his cock while I eat his ass to get him ready?” He suggested it to you. “See how many pathetic sounds we can pull out of him.”

“All of them,” you predict, knowing your husband well. “All of them, and it’s going to be so worth it.”

Dieter bites his lip, moaning at the thought of having both of you touching him. “You’re still going to fuck me right?” He pouts at Joel.

Smirking, Joel sits up and reaches for him. “Why do you think I’m going to eat your ass? Gotta get you ready.”

“He promised to fuck both of us,” you remind Dieter, stealing a kiss as he crawls up the length of Joel’s broad body. You’re curious now, aching despite having just cum, wondering if Joel is as good with his cock as he is with his tongue.

“Right, right.” Dieter bobbles his head now and straddles Joel’s waist so he can grind down against his length and make him moan. “But you could hurt me?” He offers softly, willing to let Joel do anything to him. He had always been willing to let Joel hurt him, even from the moment he had pushed him into that bathroom.

It’s up to Joel and Dieter, what they do together, but you look between the men almost apologetically. “It’s the one thing I won’t do,” you explain to Joel. Hurting Dieter - even if he enjoys the pain - is completely out of the question for you. You’re just not that kind of lover.

Joel bites his lip, aware that he could but there’s time for that later. “Dee, how long has it been since you’ve gotten fucked?” He demands, wanting to know the truth. Even as his cock twists against Dieter’s skin.

“We have a whole drawer full of toys.” He promises, closing his eyes and shuddering a little at how different a warm cock feels against his skin than a cold toy. “Maybe a week and a half? Two weeks?”

“You know that’s not the same, baby.” Joel resists, but Dieter is pouting down at him just like the first time he begged him to fuck him without any prep. “Get on your back.” He huffs, rolling his eyes at his lover. “Impatient.”

Dieter us grinning like he just won the biggest victory in the world, scrambling to follow orders and not caring at all when you giggle softly under your breath from beside him. He knows he can be greedy in certain - ok, most - aspects of life. And there has been no way to be greedy these last twenty years except sex, so he revels in it.

Rolling his eyes over to you, Joel tilts his head. “Do you at least have lube?” He asks, “a little bit?”

"In a manner of speaking." It's not as though the KY factory is still operational in the apocalypse, but you nod and move to the side table across the bed from you, pulling out a small bottle of oil that you use as lube. The fact that it gets refilled from the remains of the olive oil down in the kitchen is beside the point - it's edible, it's safe, and it works.

“I won’t use much.” Joel promises, knowing how precious something like this is. He could have just used spit, but this is better. Better for lasting longer.

"Use enough." The last thing you want is for something to go wrong because the guys weren't safe.

He takes the bottle and watches as Dieter wraps his fist around his cock. “Fucking hurry.” Dieter moans, squeezing himself and slowly pumping his cock. “You were always too damn slow.”

"So fucking impatient." You chide him, hearing Joel chuckle darkly behind you. Situating yourself to lay alongside your husband, you nip idly at his hip while Joel shifts forward, and lets two fingers slip through your folds while you enjoy the sight of the two of them together. Once they find their rhythm you'll add yourself to the mix, but they deserve the chance to find each other again.

“Pet his pretty face and coo at him.” Joel orders you with a wink. His cock is coated in the oil and just the barest brush of his lubed fingers finds Dieter’s puckered hole before he is moving his hands to grip Dieter’s legs to guide them up on his hips. “Fuck it’s been a long time since I was this goddamn excited to sink into a tight hole.”

Dieter is a writhing, whimpering, pouting mess as he does every single thing Joel needs and impatiently waits to have his needy hole broken into. He opens his arms for you, though, letting you curl up to his side and nip along his jaw and neck while silky sweet phrases like 'good boy' and 'so fucking sexy' reach Joel's ears from your lips. You're laser focused on making sure your husband feels good right now, even if that pleasure comes from someone else.

Taking your hand, Joel guides it to Dieter’s cock right before he slides his knees forward. Grunting slightly with the aches and pains that come with age, he wouldn’t stop right now for anything. Shushing Dieter softly as the other man’s hips try to roll down and can’t as he positions him exactly how he wants and presses the head of his cock against the quivering hole he’s about to breach. “It’s okay, Dee. You’ve been so good; I’m going to make you take every inch.”

******

“Joel, fuck— please!” Dieter whines, knowing the house is empty and that no one will hear him as he squirms underneath his boyfriend. Joel’s larger frame has him caged in on the older boy’s mattress and what had been the rapturous giving of hand jobs while making out was now much more intense. The head of Joel’s cock is nudging at the entrance to Dieter’s ass and he’s so overwhelmed and eager that his eyes are watering as he begs.

“You sure?” For all his gruffness and sarcasm, Joel likes to tease. Especially when it gives him this doe eyed expression currently being offered by the needy mess he calls his boyfriend. “You want me to take your virginity? Break open your tight little ass and fill up another hole with my cum?” He’s aching to, wanting to experience this with Dieter, but he also wants to make sure he really wants it.

“No, I want you to cum in my ear.” Dieter huffs, rolling his eyes and pouting as he tries to grind his hips down again despite Joel holding him steady. “Fuck Joel— yes.” The whining begins all over again when he can’t get any friction from movement. Joel is in control physically, even though Dieter doesn’t realize that he’s actually the one in charge of whether or not this happens at all. “Take it— I’m giving it to you. Need you to—to fuck me. God it’s going to feel so fucking good.”

Joel chuckles, his cock already soaked from the way that Dieter had tried to suck his soul out before he had flipped him onto his back to tease him. Still he spits in his hand and starts to pump his cock with the head pushed against his hole. “Yeah baby? You want me to fuck you?” He coos mockingly as he pushes his hips forward enough to start nudging the head inside his boyfriend’s ass.

“Fuck—I—yes!” Just that little sensation of being barely breached has Dieter panting ragged breaths and saying silent thank yous to the universe for Tommy having a date tonight. Having all the time in the world to let Joel take him apart is like the best gift he could ever ask for.

Chuckling, Joel leans down to slide his tongue into Dieter’s mouth as the head of his cock slips inside and the ring of muscles clench down around the ridge. “Fuck.” Joel pants slightly, holding steady over him.

“Shit.” Dieter practically yelps but it’s buried behind a moan as both of his hands shoot out to grab onto Joel’s arms. “Keep going.” He begs, panting heavily.

His brow wrinkles and he bites his lip as he looks down at Dieter. The urge to just drive his hips forward is nearly overwhelming but he’s soooo tight. “Fuck, fuck, I am.” He groans, sinking another two inches into him and moaning.

The flashes of blinding pleasure and pinching pain combine in Dieter’s body and mind, translating only to wanting more, and the inexorable bond between the two seems immediate. Water pricks at his eyes and his fingers curl into Joel’s arms, whimpers falling from his lips as he rolls his hips down to beg for more.

Joel huffs in amazement, sure that Dieter would have asked him to slow down, to stop, give him a minute. Or even just to pull out. Instead he’s begging for more and all Joel can do is groan and feed him his cock just like he is wanting. Faster than he would want but apparently not fast enough for his boyfriend having his cherry popped.

He only pauses when Dieter yelps slightly, responding to a jolt of Joel’s hips with a sheepish grin. “Hurts so good,” he admits, eyelids already fluttering at the mix of sensations and how they’re making his impossibly hard cock throb and drip precum onto his stomach. He half wonders if he could get off just from Joel fucking him - no hand or mouth involved at all.

“Jesus.” Joel hisses watching as Dieter’s hands fist the sheets of his bed and he decides that if he’s not saying stop, he’s going to keep going. “Gonn— gonna— fuck.” His control slips and instead of the slow roll of his hips, he snaps them forward and buries himself to the hilt.

“Fuck!” Dieter’s hips lift off the bed and his back arches, legs splayed haphazardly over Joel’s arms like they mean nothing at all. “Fuck, fuck, holy shit baby.” A torrent of incoherent praise threatens to bubble to the surface but all Dieter can manage is a few disjointed phrases as his body sings with pleasure.

He would think that Dee is writhing in pain but he knows when his boyfriend is nearly about to cum. Holding his hips down as he hunches over him, grinding his cock even deeper. “You like that, baby? You like my cock deep inside you?” His voice breaks, threatens to give out as he clenches his teeth when Dieter squeezes him in response.

“I can’t wait to do this to you.” Dieter breathes out, whining and letting out a shuddering gasp when Joel pushes deeper. “Fuck, baby, it’s amazing.”

Joel groans, his cock twitching inside Dee as he imagines it. The most he’s done is have a finger up there. Unless you count the time Dieter licked his asshole. He had nearly come up off the bed.

The way Joel twitches inside him makes Dieter moan louder, and a spurt of hot, sticky precum leaks from the tip of the purple cock. “Do it, Joel,” he whines, eyes open and teary, begging his boyfriend to move. “Fuck me.”

He can’t do anything but exactly that. Groaning as he pulls his hips back, his thrusts are stilted, unmeasured as he fumbles his way through pushing back inside and adjusting his knees to not collapse on top of Dieter. “Fuck.” Awkward and inelegant, the few minutes that this dance between them lasts are worth every second of the experience. Time bends itself around them, making five minutes last five hours, and the rainstorm outside absorbs both boys’ sounds of ecstasy as they climb quickly closer to their peak.

Now he’s got Dieter’s legs on his shoulders, on his knees as he pumps his hips forward, moaning every time he fills him again. “Fuck— fuck, shit I’m gonna cum.” Joel grunts out, surprised he’s lasted this long. It’s only because Dieter blew him earlier otherwise he would be done for. “Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

Fullness is now a sensation that Dieter is intimately familiar with, but he never could have imagined what feeling Joel cum inside him would be like. How that would be the thing to trigger his own orgasm, splattering his stomach and chest with his own sticky release.

Joel groans, watching Dieter’s eyes roll back and his cock twitch between them. Jerking up and spurting cum all over his chest. It’s so fucking hot that he just came all over himself, while Joel’s cock continues to pulse deep inside him. “Fuck, fuck is it that good? It made you cum, baby?” He reaches out and wraps his hand around Dieter’s cock, pumping him through his release.

“Holy fucking shit.” When Dieter’s slack jaw moves again, he swallows a gulp of air and looks up at his boyfriend with adoration swimming in his eyes. He won’t say what he’s been thinking for weeks now, but it’s loud and clear in his heart and his mind. “That’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

******

You are the center of attention, muffled praises coming from Dieter as he bites and sucks at your breast. Leg tossed over Joel’s hip as he licks into your mouth, the slow pump of three thick fingers curl up into you again as he pulls back. “You’re doing so good for us sweetheart.” He coos. “You liked watching us, didn’t you? You’re so fucking wet. Slick from watching me fuck your Dee.”

Agreement comes on a moan, the nodding of your head somehow in tone with the thrusting of his fingers inside you. Joel has broad hands and thick fingers and it’s magical.

“It’s good baby, wish you could feel how tight he gets, his little hole squeezin’ me, kinda like your cunt right now.” Joel doesn’t talk a lot, but it doesn’t mean he can’t. Especially when he’s figured out you like the sound of his voice, rougher and lower than Dieter’s baritone. “Can’t wait to feel this around my cock.”

It's debatable if Joel clocked your voice kink early or if Dieter told him, but either way you've long since melted into the bed with the steady sound of filthy words in what's left of that silky Texas drawl. "What are you – fuck – waiting for?" You can feel his cock twitching against your hip and it's like a metronome for the throbbing in your pussy.

He chuckles, pressing his lips to yours and sliding his tongue through when you so willingly part them so he can flick his tongue against yours. "Your husband drained me." He reminds you huskily. "Fuck, if it was thirty years ago, I would already be deep inside you. Maybe even twenty years. Now I need a minute to recover." His fingers are sucked deeper by the grasping clutch of your cunt and his soft cock twitches.

Decades with Dee have made you acutely aware of what happens to aging men’s refractory periods, and the fact that your ability to cum and cum until you just collapse from exhaustion is very different from how their bodies work. “If you need to rest…” Pulling back from him is all about having an honest moment, even if his fingers are still inside you. “You can always wake me up creatively.”

Shaking his head, Joel smirks at you and leans down, biting your bottom lip. "Baby, I'm not sleeping until I've filled both of you up." He promises. "Want to see both of you leaking my cum." You've informed him after he fucked Dieter that pregnancy isn't possible, owing to issues before the end of 'modern' medicine, and he knows you aren't trying to trick him on that.

“Just trying to play nice,” you offer, catching his lip and giving it a nip in return before leaning over to your other side to press a kiss to the top of Dieter’s head. “I know someone loves to watch just as much as I do.”

Dieter pops off your breast with a blissed out smile. "It's— baby you're so beautiful when you're getting fucked, and I've dreamed of watching Joel fuck my girl." It's always been in the back of his mind when he was with any woman but especially the love of his life.

“I think somebody missed his man.” The affectionate chuckle from you is really for both men, even as you lean down to kiss your husband’s lips. The connection between them is so strong that getting to share a sweet moment amongst the intensity is a privilege.

Dieter huffs and blushes but he doesn't deny that. He did miss Joel. Joel was the first person to ever make him feel safe, to feel loved and wanted. Even if he had never spoken the words to him, Dieter had felt like he was worthy of living because Joel Miller cared about him. There had been a lot of times before Joel where he hadn't wanted to go on, and now - even in this harsh, post-apocalyptic landscape - Joel still brings that sense of safety to him.

"It's okay." Seeing the blush on Dieter's cheeks, you press another kiss to his lips and cup his cheek with your hand gently. "I get it now." It's a touching moment, but Joel can't help but curl his fingers and press them against that spongy spot he discovered makes your toes curl. "Shit, Joel!" That little motion pulls your back and hips right up off the bed and you gasp out his name, giggling to yourself about the way it takes you right out of the moment. Dieter does that stuff too from time to time – breaking the tension with physicality. Now you wonder who got it from whom when they were teens.

The man to blame chuckles and leans over to lap at your other breast. "You weren't paying attention." He hums playfully before he bites down gently.

"Telling Dee that I understand why he's still in love with you after thirty years isn't paying attention?" The hand you have on Joel's back curls around his shoulder now and holds him close to you. "My apologies."

Joel huffs at you, completely unaware of why he would still be in love with him. Rolling his eyes up at you and licking your nipple again. "Hush, I want you to cum."

“So demanding.” You tease, huffing at him in turn. But your rotating hips have been listening the whole time, moving with his hand to meet every thrust of his fingers.

“You want me to get hard again or not?” Joel asks, smirking down at you. “You wanna ride me, or have me fuck you into this bed like I did Dee?”

“You’ve already worked hard tonight, handsome.” The arm you had around him snakes back to you, slipping down between you to wrap your hand around his cock in encouragement. Feeling a cock grow hard in your grasp is always well worth it. “Let me ride you.”

“Fuck.” Joel groans, rocking his hips towards your hand as he pumps his fingers faster. “Fuck yes.”

Your amused chuckle washes away on a deep groan as Joel stretches his fingers out a little more inside you and hits just the right angle, making your legs quiver right before your pussy clamps down around all three digits inside it.

“That’s it, that’s it sweetheart.” He groans, loving the heat that washes over his fingers. Feeling your body start to shake with another orgasm. “Cum for me.”

Dieter’s expression of adoration doesn’t waver, watching you come apart for Joel. It takes over his whole face, shining in his eyes while he looks at the two of you. It’s the dream scenario, for him anyway, even if he’s watching you cum for Joel in a hotel bed after the collapse of civilization instead of in your mansion in Sherman Oaks.

Joel always enjoys the ride when he makes a partner cum. Kissing your jaw and your lips while you moan softly, cunt fluttering around his fingers until he senses that it’s time to stop moving them and let you catch your breath. “Beautiful.”

“On your back.” As soon as you’ve caught your breath you’re on the move, shifting so that Joel can get comfortable in the middle of the bed.

Joel rolls over as ordered and his hand finds Dieter’s thigh, finding his gaze on him and silently asking permission one last time.

"Don't be so nervous," Dieter chides softly, pressing close to slide his tongue into Joel's mouth and savor the taste of him while you straddle his waist. "She's amazing." Joel grunts into his mouth, reaching up to tangle his fingers into the curly locks of his lover and kisses him back before he lets go and turns to watch you grind against his cock.

"Keep going if you want." You rise up on your knees to position yourself over Joel's cock and start to sink down, fighting the urge to let your eyes shut in bliss as he stretches you out. "I don't mind wa—" Every inch makes you gasp a little and you slow down a little to savor the stretch. "Watching you make out while I ride you."

“Want to watch you take me.” Joel smirks, knowing that he has Dieter beat in the girth department slightly.

"Like to see how well you split me open?" If you were him, you'd love that too. As it is, your mouth drops open on a low moan the more you sink down on him.

“Fuck yes.” Joel groans, taking your hips and grunting as your walls squeeze him tight.

Dieter's groan is almost louder than yours as you seat yourself fully in Joel's lap. "Goddamn." You gasp out, swirling your hips in a rolling figure eight before rising up again to push out another curse on your way down. "So fucking thick, baby. Holy shit."

Joel chuckles smugly and lightly slaps your hip. “You’re just tight, sweetheart.” He coos, pinching your skin and then rubbing it gently. He likes the way you look on his cock and twitches as he rocks his hips up.

The pace you set might not be as brutal and needy as what he had picked with Dee, but it's energetic enough to have both men reaching for your bouncing tits and smacking your ass in alternation.

“Jesus.” Joel hisses, unable to stay still underneath you. It’s too much to even try. You fit him perfectly and ride him like he’s a bull you're trying to stay on. “Come on baby.”

It doesn't matter that your thighs burn and your knees protest a little more than they used to, the feeling of connection is deeper than you can put your finger on at the moment but you know that having Dieter's hand squeezing your ass every time it connects with Joel's thighs feels like more than just lust.

Somehow your fingers tangle with Joel’s, Dieter’s free hand also linked in. The three of you holding onto one another as you bounce your way closer to another orgasm. “So good, sweetheart. Doing so good for me.”

"So good." You echo, free hand leaving your tits to let your fingers circle your clit and letting your head fall back in pleasure when his cock throbs like it's responding to his hungry eyes devouring the sight. "Fuck, Joel. You're so fucking sexy -- could ride you all night."

It's an ego boost considering he thinks Dieter is far more attractive than he is. Groaning, he plants his feet on the bed and starts thrusting up, eager to see you fall apart, this time on his cock. "Do it." He dares you, knowing that you couldn't possibly keep this pace all night long but he's willing to sacrifice sleep.

“Gladly.” It’s bravado for both of you, but that doesn’t change the sentiment. That you both would if you could. Every time you impale yourself on him is another glorious groan out of both of you, and you know that chasing that orgasm for both of you won’t take long.

“Shit.” He hisses, watching as your bounces get tighter, more urgent. Leaning forward so you can press your lips against his, trapping Dieter’s hand on your tit between you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuuuccckk.” Joel’s arms hold you tight to his chest as he pounds into you, catching your fingers as they press into the swollen nub of your clit and pressing on it that much harder with every thrust. It ramps up so quickly that you barely manage to gasp out a warning before another orgasm slams into you like a freight train.

It's beautiful, the way you cry out and turn towards him. Even though you had been kissing your husband the second before you had shattered. Moaning into his mouth has his hips rock up a few more times before he feels his own body give into the pleasure and he fills you with an aching warmth and a gasp of your name.

“Oh my god…” Catching your breath, you revel in being splayed out on Joel’s chest and the way Dieter has curled up to both of you to cling to being close to the two people he cares about most in the world.

Joel chuckles, rubbing your back and his head rolls to the side so he can look at Dieter. "If you think that was good, wait until we share you." He teases.

“Tomorrow.” You mumble, grinning at them both. “We’re definitely doing that tomorrow.”

Joel hums and grins back at you, still stroking your back softly. “We can arrange that.”

"As many times as you want." Dieter agrees, softly pressing a kiss to your lips before leaning over to give the same to Joel. "For as long as we're all together."

“Come with us.” Joel urges, reaching out to keep Dieter close. “We’ll stay for a few more days, but I want – I just found you again.” He bites his lip. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Dieter's eyes immediately find yours, begging without saying a word, and you know that as usual it's your job to be the practical one. To not let your feelings run away with you. Even though, at this moment, you want to say yes and make big promises just like you did when you fell in love with Dieter. "Why don't we talk about it tomorrow?" You suggest, looking between both men indulgently. "When Joel isn't inside me?"

“That works.” Joel nods, trying to retain that practicality that has seemingly abandoned him. He pats your hip and sighs softly. “We should clean up.”

“Water in the basin by the fireplace should still be warm.” You stifle a yawn with one hand as you reluctantly slip off of him, hoping your legs will cooperate. “I’ll get it.”

“You stay put.” Joel insists as he rolls over with a groan. “I’ll take care of you both.” He had wondered where the warm clean rag to clean up him and Dieter had come from, but he hadn’t asked. Now he pushes to his feet and strides over to get what he needs to clean his lovers up again.

“You want to go, don’t you?” Alone even for a moment with your husband, you brush his sweat damp curls from his face and smile. “You want to stay with him.”

“Is that okay?” Dieter manages to frown and give you a wide-eyed pleading look, hoping you would understand.

“It’s going to be dangerous.” Despite that warning, you place a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Wherever we end up may be a lot more difficult than living here has been.” You both have seen the writing on the wall— you know that your supplies here are running out. That you’ll have to leave eventually. “There may not be privacy for a long time, or even any kind of comfort.”

Dieter bites his lip and his eyes flicker back over to Joel as he turns and moves back towards the bed with two rags in his hands. “I think it will be worth it. But—” he turns his head and cups your cheek. “If you don’t want to go, we stay.”

“Baby, we’re going to have to go. Probably sooner than we’d like.” The kiss you press to his lips is soft but earnest, full of all the love you can muster. “But I don’t want you to lose him, and the world out there is a hell of a lot less scary if you share it with people you love.”

“What are you feeling?” Dieter asks quickly, aware that Joel has slowed his stroll across the room after seeing the way your heads are pressed together.

“That he still loves you.” To you, at least, it’s obvious. Obvious in the way they are together and the way they were even before you all climbed into bed together. “And I know you still love him. And…I don’t know if Joel is like us. But if he is - or he could be - then I hope he could grow to love me, too.”

Joel interrupts the moment, finally reaching the bed and he kneels on it gently, his eyes shifting between the two of you. He didn't hear what was said, damn hard hearing, but he can guess. The conversation revolves around him, and he nudges your knees apart so he can start to clean you up. "I never imagined Dieter with a woman, not permanently." He offers quietly, smiling at you, and rolling his eyes. "But then again I didn't expect Dieter to stay with anyone. And he managed to choose a woman that both of us would want."

“I think I surprised most people by getting married.” Dieter admits, though he waggles his eyebrows at you in seeming triumph. “Me and her included.” He smiles at Joel proudly, chest puffed up even in his eagerness. “I laughed instead of crying when he proposed.” Your hand still on Dieter’s cheek strokes his patchy beard fondly. “That’s how shocked I was.”

Joel snorts and shoots the both of you a grin as you stare at each other lovingly. "I wouldn't doubt it." He huffs. "He was probably nervous and high as a fucking kite."

“Fucking terrified.” Dieter agrees immediately. “But I was stone sober. It was first thing in the morning, and we had just finished fucking.” He laughs at himself, knowing it had been a whim. Looking back, he’s still surprised you said yes. “I took her ring shopping that day.”

"You have a good story to hold onto when things are bad." He murmurs, tossing the rag with his cum onto the floor and then cleaning himself quickly so he can figure out if he needs to go or to lay down again.

“There’s always time to make more good memories.” Shifting over, you nudge Dieter toward the center of the bed to make room for Joel on his other side. “Which is what we were talking about.”

"Yeah?" He asks, not saying anything else. He's well aware of him coming into an established relationship and if you decided that you didn't want to change your dynamic, he understands. He's already put his own cards on the table.

“Lay down.” It might be a statement but Dieter asks it like a question.

"Okay." Joel nods and shifts to lay down on the bed beside Dieter, his hand resting on the other man's hip.

“We know that we don’t have a traditional marriage.” In the years that you’ve been with Dieter, you’ve been the voice of reason. His organizer. His logic. Taken care of him and done what’s best for him, and rejoiced when his needs and wants lined up with yours. Right now, delightedly, you can rejoice. “But there’s very little in the world that is traditional anymore. So…really what we’re saying is that whether or not we come with you is really a question of whether or not you can find it in yourself to share Dee, now that you’ve found him again. B-because,” you waver slightly, afraid that Dee’s heart being on the front of this battlefield is just too much to ask of your gentle husband. But it’s unavoidable. “Because we’re a package deal.”

Joel frowns, staring at you for a moment before he shakes his head. "Of course you are." He grunts, acting like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "You are married. I am the one who is the outlier here. Both of you was never the question. The question is where I would fit in."

“Wherever you want to.” Reaching over, you place your hand over his on Dieter’s hip. “You and Dee have loved each other a long time. And so have Dieter and I. So the hope is that you and I can find our way to each other.”

"I don't see that being a problem." Joel admits with a smirk. "Not at all."

The besotted grin that overtakes Dieter’s face flashes victory in your direction and he hums. “Told you,” he gloats happily.

“Yeah, you told me.” But you kiss him indulgently, not upset in the least when you look back at Joel. “We’ll pack up what we can here, and then we’ll all leave together.”

“Together." Joel nods and leans in to kiss Dieter and then you tenderly. He had approached this hotel looking for shelter for the night, maybe a meal or two from what was left in the kitchens. He had instead found the first person he had ever loved and a brand-new future to look forward to. Together.

______ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle

My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Joel Miller #Dieter Bravo #Joel Miller x Dieter Bravo #Joel Miller x Dieter Bravo x reader #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x female reader #Dieter Bravo x reader #Dieter Bravo x you #Dieter Bravo x female reader #The Last of Us #The Last of Us HBO #TLoU #TLoU HBO #The Bubble #crossover fic

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justagalwhowrites · 11 months

Text

Lavender No Outbreak AU - Ch. 2

You and Joel have a conversation. A continuation of Lavender No Outbreak AU Ch. 1 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT! I'm not gonna get into detail, it's smutty guys. Just lean into it. Discussion of pregnancy. Minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 6.6k

Joel’s grip was so loose on you that you took your arm back and left him there, staring where you’d been standing. You went to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from a catering tray, and ducked into a bathroom. You rinsed your mouth out before sitting on the toilet lid and chugging the rest of the water, trying to make yourself take full, deep breaths and not dissolve into a state of panic. The band was still playing outside, an occasional loud laugh made its way through the walls to your little panic room. It was strange, that life was just going on for everyone else and everything had ground to a halt for you.

You finished the water and rinsed your mouth out with the Listerine from your purse before you took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door.

Joel was standing there, leaning against the wall next to the door, making you jump.

“Sorry,” he said. His eyes kept drifting to your stomach. “Wasn’t trying to scare you…”

“Let me find Cass,” you said, crossing one arm protectively in front of yourself, holding on to your elbow. “Then we can go and… Talk.”

“Yeah.”

Cassie knew what happened the second she saw you, her eyebrows drawing together. She pulled you into a quick hug.

“Text me,” she said, giving you a squeeze. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” you squeezed her back.

Joel opened your door for you but the drive was quiet. You chewed your lower lip and fidgeted with the hem of your sweater.

“We could go to that coffee shop you like,” he said after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

“Sure,” you said, glancing at him. His jaw was tight, his hand on the wheel tense. Your stomach twisted.

You were both silent again, your arms crossed over your stomach, covering the gnawing hollowness at the center of you. You could practically see Joel’s wheels turning and it was exactly what you didn’t want. There wasn’t a problem here for him to solve, you didn’t WANT his help, you didn’t WANT him thinking shit through. You bit your lip.

He tried to order for you at the coffee shop but you cut him off when he started to say “iced lavender latte.”

“Just a decaf coffee,” you said quickly. He frowned and you shrugged. “Caffeine.”

“Right…”

You sat down at the same table you’d been at when you’d first met him. You wondered if he remembered that, too. Probably not.

“So you’re…” he began.

“Yeah.”

“And…” he paused, looking at his coffee cup on the table. He turned the paper cup in his big hand, back and forth. “And you’re sure it’s mine? It’s… it’s been a few months…”

That stung. ‘It’s been a few months.’ Did that mean he’d moved on? At least to fucking someone else? As though it was perfectly reasonable to expect that after three years together…

“It’s yours,” you replied.

He took a deep breath.

“OK,” he said, nodding slowly. “OK, we can figure…”

“There doesn’t need to be a we,” you replied, watching him from across the table. “I’m not here because I want or need your help, Joel, I’m here because telling you is the right thing to do. But I don’t need anything from you.”

He frowned.

“You don’t…”

“I don’t want your help,” you replied. “I can leave you off the birth certificate, if you want. Or we can figure something out where they visit you or you visit them when they’re big enough. Whatever you’re comfortable with. But I have a plan and I don’t need your help.”

“What’s your plan?” He asked, still frowning.

“I’m finishing the extra classes I’m taking this semester,” you said. “So that will be off my plate. I’m due in late March or early April - haven’t had the ultrasound yet but that’s the current estimate. I’ve got good health insurance and maternity leave at school. My expenses have been pretty low the last few years because I’ve been living with Nan so I’ve got what I didn’t spend on school in savings. I haven’t… Nan doesn’t know yet, so I might need to work out a new place to live but that’s doable and Louisa said I can stay with her for a bit if there’s a snag…”

“What do you mean if there’s a snag?” He asked.

“Well Nan’s Nan,” you shrugged. “Don’t see her being thrilled about any of this. If she throws me out I wanted to have options…”

“You really think she’d do that?” He looked upset. Mad, almost. “After you moved back there to take care of her…”

“She’s going to say I’m making the same mistakes as my mother,” you said. “And she’s going to be pissed about it, I don’t blame her. Once she figures out she’s not going to be saddled with another kid she didn’t want I think she’ll warm up a bit but I’m not sure how it’s going to go before that. So I have a plan.

“Anyway, when school starts up again in the fall, Louisa’s got an in at a day care close to campus,” you said. “I’ll be able to go by on lunch…”

“How are you going to handle medical school with a baby?” He asked. “Especially on your own?”

“I’m not,” you laughed, looking at him like he was crazy. “Joel, medical school is off the table for now. I’m finishing the premed degree because I’m almost done with it and this semester is already paid for but medical school isn’t going to happen for years, if it happens at all.”

“No,” he shook his head. “No, the whole… You can’t just not go…”

“Yes I can,” you shrugged. His jaw was clenched. “Look, it’s not like it’s some big tragedy. So I don’t go to medical school, there’s one fewer doctor in the world, so what? I like teaching, I think I’m good at it. It’s fine if I’m a teacher for the rest of my life…”

“But it’s not what you want,” he was watching you.

You shrugged.

“Not about me anymore,” you said. “I’m not going to do what my parents did. This is my child, I love them. I’m going to put them first.”

He ran his hands through his hair and looked up at the ceiling for a moment.

“How did this happen?” He asked, looking back at you, sounding mad again.

“I mean, you were there for the important part of that,” you laughed a little. “Think you’d know…”

“No,” he shook his head. “No, you were on the pill…”

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “But it’s not 100% effective, especially when you don’t always use it right and I’ll be the first to admit I’m not as responsible as I should be when I’m away from home. I took it late a few days, missed it twice…”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he was staring at the coffee cup in his hand on the table. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this…”

He sounded so full of regret it made your chest hurt. You knew full well that you weren’t together anymore, that he’d never intended to have a family with you but he’d loved you once. Was having a child with you really that abhorrent of an idea?

You closed your eyes for a second and took a deep breath to keep from crying.

“I know that,” you said, voice thick. “But this is happening. It’s not going to be like it was with Sarah’s mom. You don’t need to change anything about your life. You can never see me again if you don’t want…”

“I’m supposed to just pretend like my kid isn’t across the country?” He asked.

“If you want to,” you replied. “Or you can visit, like I said. I can send them to you, I wouldn’t keep them from you if you wanted to be involved. I’m just… I don’t want your money, I don’t want your time. You have no obligation to me. I made this call without you so I’m going to handle it without you…”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he said again. “It wasn’t supposed to work like this…”

“Yeah,” you said, inches away from crying. “So you’ve said. Figure out what it is you want to do and just… I don’t know, call if you want to meet them.”

You got up from the table before you lost control and left the coffee shop, walking back to your hotel alone.

Monday, October 20, 2003

“So when are you telling your grandmother?” Louisa was sitting on a lab table in your classroom as you packed up the last of your things for the day.

“Maybe next week?” You shrugged. “I think I’ve had enough heartbreak for a few days…”

“You really think it’s going to go that badly?” She asked.

“Well,” you put your bag on your shoulder and took one last look around your classroom to make sure you weren’t forgetting anything. “I didn’t think telling Joel would be that bad and we both know how that one went…”

Louisa had picked you up from the airport Sunday afternoon. The second you were in her car, you started crying, sobbing into her shoulder about everything that happened with Joel.

“Oh Sweetie,” she put her arms around you in the airport loading zone. “It’ll be OK. I promise, it’ll be OK.”

“And you really think your grandmother is going to go worse than that?” Louisa asked. “Because I’ll be honest, that sounded brutal.”

“I was a dumbass,” you sighed as you went to the hall and closed your classroom behind you. “I should have known better. I went in expecting to talk to Joel, my boyfriend for some stupid reason, not my ex who had a perfectly reasonable reaction to finding out he was going to be tied to me in some way for the rest of his life.”

“He should be so lucky,” Louisa muttered. You glared at her. “What? You’re a catch.”

“I’m basically a step above a teen mom at this point,” you rolled your eyes. “Think we need to downgrade my stock a bit.”

You heard a student call your name on the way out of the building.

“Can I please do extra credit?” A junior, Amanda, ran up to you, her lab paper in her hands. “I know it’s just a B but it’s still a B and my mom is going to freak out if I don’t bring home at least an A minus…”

“She’s going to get mad over a B?” You raised your eyebrows. She scrunched her nose and nodded. You sighed. “Well we don’t want that, do we?” You thought for a second. “Alright, here’s the deal. There are notes on that paper, fix the things that need improvement and resubmit it by the end of the week AND hang back after school on Wednesday to help me clean the lab equipment. The freshmen are doing frog dissection that day. Do both well and we’ll see how close that gets you to an A. Sound good?”

“You’re a lifesaver,” she hugged you and you laughed for a second before patting her back a few times. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

She broke away from you and took off toward the student parking lot. You watched her go for a moment, waiting until she was out of earshot before turning to Louisa.

“And that is the kind of mom I will not be,” you said. Louisa snorted.

“It’s a low bar but I think you can clear that,” she clapped you on the shoulder and you laughed as you walked to the employee parking lot, opening the door with your hip.

“I will take that…” your voice died in your throat as you froze, barely through the doors.

“Oh shit,” Louisa said, stopping beside you. “Is that…”

“Yeah,” you breathed.

Joel was standing there, leaning against his truck, hands in his pockets.

“Hey, Baby.”

***

Driving across the country alone was fucking exhausting. He felt like he could fall asleep standing up. Seeing you made it worth it, though.

He’d stayed at the coffee shop staring at where you’d been sitting for longer than he cared to admit. He hadn’t realized you’d left at first. Thought maybe you’d gone to the bathroom or stepped outside for air or… fucking something besides just leaving. He’d have stopped you if he knew you were leaving.

By the time he realized you were gone it felt far too late to follow you.

You clearly wanted space. Fuck, it seemed like you wanted nothing to do with him at all. Everything you talked about, everything you laid out was just a way to make sure he wasn’t anywhere near you. Almost like you were desperate to never see him again.

He thought about going by your hotel room - he was pretty sure he could remember which one you’d come out of when he’d picked you up - or just calling you. Repeatedly. But if you really wanted nothing to do with him, he should just leave you the fuck alone.

So, he went home. And drank. More than he was proud of.

How could he have done this again, to you of all people? Not that he was fucking anybody else - not that he even had the drive to fuck anybody else - but fuck, how had he not learned his goddamn lesson after Sarah’s mom?

He and Lauren had just been having fun but the condom broke and she decided against an abortion. But she seemed to resent Joel for every second of motherhood she endured before she left. She snapped one afternoon. Sarah was five months old and had just started teething. She was crying constantly, clearly miserable and in pain, and Lauren was miserable too.

“It’s going to be alright,” Joel tried to tell her as he held their screaming daughter. She rounded on him.

“No, it’s not!” She snapped. “It’s not going to be OK! This is my fucking life now! Diapers and spit-up and fucking Sesame Street! There was shit I wanted to DO and it wasn’t this.”

She was gone a week later.

Joel didn’t want that for you. He’d refused to be the thing that ruined your life, refused to be the thing you resented.

And yet, there he was. Drinking on his couch because he’d fucked your life up.

He was still on the couch when Sarah came home the next morning.

“Hey there sleepy,” she shook him awake, her head cocked to the side. “Looks like you had a fun night.”

“Sure,” he sat up, blinking the sleep and the burgeoning hangover out of his eyes. “How was the tournament, Baby Girl?”

“Eh, kinda crappy,” she shrugged, dropping her duffel bag on the coffee table. “We took fifth.”

“That’s not bad,” Joel said.

“Of ten.”

“Well, did you have fun?” He asked. “That’s the important part.”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Lizzie’s mom let us rent a movie on the hotel room TV last night so I got to see the new Charlie’s Angels finally!”

“That’s good,” he nodded. At least he had Sarah. He’d always have Sarah.

“So,” she drew the word out and flopped down next to him on the couch. “Is she here?”

“No, Baby Girl,” he put his face in his hands for a second, trying to wipe away the sleep. The frustration at himself. “She’s flying home today. She really wanted to see you, though.”

She sighed.

“What?” He asked, looking at her.

“Nothing,” she picked at the couch cushion.

“Sarah.”

“I just…” She sighed again, looking at him. “I kinda hoped you guys would have figured stuff out this time.”

He sighed.

“We’ve been over this, Baby Girl…”

“I know,” she cut him off. “But you’ve been pretty miserable the past few months…”

“You could tell?” He frowned. She just looked at him, her brows raised.

“And I bet she was, too,” she said. “I kind of thought…” She shrugged. “That if you both saw it you’d figure it out.”

“You miss her,” Joel said. She nodded. “Yeah, me too. Think I might have screwed up a little too bad this time though, kiddo.”

“Did you ask her?” She frowned. “If you screwed up too bad, I mean.”

“Don’t think I can really just…”

“Dad!” She groaned. “Come on. I’m getting kind of tired of you moping around here all the time and you’re not going to get anywhere if you don’t actually talk to her.”

He sighed.

“It’s a bit more complicated…” he paused. Sarah’s cell phone was pressed to her ear. “What are you doing?”

“Calling her since you’re a chicken.”

“Sarah!” He moved to snatch the phone from her but she leaned out of his reach. He glowered at her. She hung up the phone.

“You lucked out,” she said smugly. “It went straight to voicemail.”

“Probably on the plane,” he sighed. “Besides, not a phone conversation, anyway.”

“OK,” she shrugged. “So go talk to her then.”

“Go talk to her.”

“Yup.”

“Just go show up and talk to her.”

“That’s what I said,” she replied. “Dad, you’re an idiot if you think you’re just going to magically get over her and everything is going to be OK. If you need to go talk to her then go talk to her! Maybe her plane hasn’t left yet…”

Joel thought for a second. Sarah might just be right. He needed to talk to you - actually talk to you, where he could see you and have a serious conversation. You’d waited to talk to him in person and he’d fucking blown it. He could at least come to you.

“She might still be at the airport,” he said, reaching in his pocket for his phone. He called Tommy.

“Hey man,” he said quickly. “Need a favor…”

Less than an hour later, Joel, Tommy and Sarah were hurtling into a short term parking spot at the airport, Joel barely waiting for the car to come to a stop when he jumped out. He ran to the check in counter that he’d always walked you to before and looked at the departures board. He didn’t see Syracuse. He ran up to a counter.

“Hey!” A man protested.

“Sorry, emergency,” Tommy waved the man off, catching up with Joel and clapping him on the shoulder.

“Checking in?” The man behind the counter asked.

“No,” Joel said quickly. “Flight to Syracuse, has that left yet?”

“About an hour ago,” the man replied.

“Shit,” Tommy swore.

“When’s the next one?” Sarah asked. Joel looked at her. “What? It can’t hurt to ask…”

“Tuesday morning,” the man replied.

“Shit,” Joel swore. “How about… Buffalo?”

“That’s in three hours,” the man said. “Only three seats left… cheapest one is $2176.”

“Holy shit,” Tommy’s eyes went wide. “People really pay that to go to fuckin’ Buffalo?”

“New York City?” Joel asked. “Or Boston?”

“Look,” the man said. “At this point? You’re looking at two grand a ticket or waiting a few days to leave. Maybe both.”

“I could drive there faster than waiting until Tuesday morning,” Joel sighed.

“So drive it,” Tommy shrugged. Joel just looked at him. “Can’t be more than, what, 20 or 30 hours? You can drive that.”

“I can’t…” he began but Sarah cut him off.

“It’s not like she’s across the planet, Dad,” she shrugged. “Just across the country. C’mon. Are you going to try to be happy or not?”

He looked to his brother.

“You OK to watch Sarah for… fuck, like a week?” He asked.

“Some of us are actually flying and need to check in!” The man Joel cut in line snapped.

He ignored him.

“Sarah can move in if she wants,” Tommy smirked. “Go grovel and admit you fucked up. And see if she’ll record it, I want proof…”

Joel barely stopped back at his house, grabbing a change of clothes and his phone charger before jumping in his truck as Sarah was still packing his bag.

“Not going to fuck it up this time, right?” Tommy asked as he walked out the door.

“Sure fucking hope not,” he muttered.

He drove almost straight through, stopping just for gas and to use the bathroom. When he hit the rumble strips twice in five minutes just outside Cleveland, he pulled off at a rest stop and slept for three hours before getting back on the road again. He made it to your school an hour before students were released.

“Joel?” You gaped at him, looking around like you were waiting on someone to let you in on the joke. You lowered your voice. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“You left before we could finish talking,” he shrugged. “Figured I’d come to you this time.”

The woman you were with came up along side you. She looked vaguely familiar, like you’d shown him her picture once or twice.

“Louisa I’m guessing?” He asked, extending his hand. “I’m Joel…”

“Put that one together,” she didn’t take his hand. “You know, you wrecked my friend…”

“Thank you for that, Louisa,” you cut her off. She fell silent. “I’ve got this.”

She gave Joel a look before she went off to her own car. You looked back to him.

“I don’t know that we have much more to discuss,” you said. “You didn’t need to come all this way, you can just text or call or email to let me know what you want to do….”

“Need to talk about more than that,” he cut you off. “Let’s go somewhere.”

“Right now?” You raised your eyebrows.

“Didn’t drive clear across the country to wait around,” he shrugged.

“Fair enough,” you said, looking him over. “There’s a diner not far from here, pretty quiet this time of day. Follow me there?”

He’d follow you anywhere.

“Sure,” he said.

Louisa was still standing outside her car when you passed her to go to your own and she stopped you, looking back at Joel with her eyes narrowed. You just shrugged at her and went to your car. Fuck, he’d really fucked up.

He followed behind you a few miles down the road to a 50s style diner, one he’d passed when visiting you before but had never been inside. It was seat yourself and you led him to a table in a corner and he sat down but you just draped your jacket over the booth.

“Just… two minutes,” you went to the bathroom and he watched you go.

He felt like he should be thankful for a minute to get his shit together again before this conversation started but he wasn’t. He was just anxious to be close to you again. Fuck, how had it only been two days since he was dancing with you at Cass’ party? Hoping to figure something out that wouldn’t fuck your life up but would get you back?

You came back to the table wiping your mouth and Joel took a second to just look at you. Fuck you were pretty. So goddamn pretty. It hit him harder every now and then, kind of out of the blue. He’d just be looking at you, enjoying you, and be reminded that - for some fucking reason - someone like you wanted him. Someone that fucking pretty, that fucking smart, that fucking kind wanted him. Didn’t make a damn bit of sense.

It hit him like that now, your skirt gauzy and floating to your knees, the gentle curve of your throat, your lips tugging into a small smile when a little kid went running past you on their way to the bathroom, their mom in tow.

Fuck, how had he managed to wreck shit with you?

“Sorry,” you smiled apologetically as you took your seat across from him. You looked at him for a moment, frowning a little. “Did you drive straight through? You look… well, you look like shit.”

“Just about,” he laughed a little. “Stopped for a bit outside Cleveland when I was pushin’ it too hard. Think I’m still hung over from when I woke up yesterday, actually…”

“You really shouldn’t have done that,” your frown deepened, eyebrows drawing together. “Look…”

“What can I get you?” The waitress looked like she was 19 and Joel had never been more annoyed by a teenager.

“Decaf coffee please,” you handed her the menu. “And a water?”

“Just coffee,” Joel said, watching you. The girl left. “Not eating?”

“Oh,” you laughed once. “Right… No, not here. Or anywhere, really, can’t hold down much of anything right now. Only thing I don’t immediately vomit back up are Clif bars. I think the guy at the camping store in town thinks I’m insane, I buy them by the dozen…”

“Are you OK?” He frowned. He’d thought you’d looked a bit thinner and now he was sure of it, the hollow of your throat more prominent than he was used to seeing.

“Fine,” you shrugged. “It sucks but it is what it is. Now that I’m getting into the second trimester it should get easier. If it doesn’t my doctor wants to talk about other things but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Joel’s stomach twisted. He should have fucking been here, taking care of you.

The waitress brought the coffees and the water.

“Anything else?” She asked.

Joel had been starving a few minutes ago but not so much anymore. He handed her the menu.

“Just this,” he said. “Thanks.”

She rolled her eyes a bit but left.

“So,” you put your arms on the table and cocked your head at him. “What did you drive almost 2,000 miles to talk about?”

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “For all of it.”

“For all of what?” You frowned. “For knocking me up? Because I was a pretty active participant in that…”

“Sorry for just lettin’ you go on Saturday for starters,” he said. “Didn’t realize you’d gone for a bit and by then…”

“It’s fine,” you leaned back in the booth, pulling your arms in close to yourself protectively. “I didn’t exactly expect you to come chase me down, I left for a reason.”

“Why did you leave?” He asked. You raised your eyebrows. “It didn’t feel like we were done talkin’ and you just left…”

“I just…” you closed your eyes for a moment. “Look, part of it is the hormones I think but I really just didn’t have it in me to sit there and listen to how much you regret this. I know it’s not ideal and that having a kid with me wasn’t what you wanted or planned but I tried to make it as easy as I can for you so you’re not stuck with me forever…”

“That’s what you think my problem is?” He shook his head.

“Joel, you left,” you laughed darkly. “That’s OK, I don’t hold it against you. We’re adults, most relationships don’t work out and I understand that…”

“No, my problem is that I left so I didn’t keep fuckin’ your life up and before I did I managed to fuck it up more,” he said.

You frowned, confused.

“What do you mean you left so you wouldn’t fuck my life up?” You asked. “What are you talking about?”

He took a deep, shaky breath. This was on the list of shit he’d never thought he’d tell you but circumstances had changed.

“I couldn’t just sit there and watch you give shit up for me anymore,” he shook his head. “You were talkin’ about moving back to Austin because of me and…”

“Because I wanted to be with you!” You gaped at him.

“And I’m not worth you givin’ up the chance at doin’ something extraordinary!” He was all but begging you to understand. “Baby, you are so goddamn smart and so goddamn dedicated, you shouldn’t live your life around where I am! I was doing nothin’ but holdin’ you back and I couldn’t let you settle…”

“Settle?” You cut him off. “Why is doing what I want settling?”

“Because I am not good enough for you,” he was getting more worked up than he should, he wasn’t mad at you and it was hard to remember that. “I’m not, I never went to fuckin’ college, I got stuck in the first job I could do, I am goin’ nowhere fast and that’s fine for me, alright? I got Sarah and she’s going to do something great, I can feel it, and that’s enough for me. But it’s not for you.”

“So, what, I just don’t get a say in this?” You shook your head. “Joel, I don’t give a shit that you didn’t go to college or what you do for a living as long as you like doing it! You made me happy, I don’t care about the rest of it. You’re kind and you’re smart and you’re funny and you’re so selfless it’s almost stupid and I fucking love you! You think that’s not worth moving some shit around for? Jesus, Joel…”

“You can’t just give up on what you want to do,” he shook his head. “You can’t…”

“Well that’s just how it’s worked out,” you shrugged and then sighed. “Look, maybe… Maybe I’ll get there eventually. Once they’re in school full time, maybe…”

“Move in with me,” he said quickly.

“Joel,” you laughed and shook your head.

“I’m serious,” he said. “Look, it’ll… it’ll do exactly what I didn’t want it to do, it’ll limit where you can go to school but you’ll still go to school…”

“I’m not going to move in with you, Joel,” you leaned into the table again. “Be serious.”

“I am being serious,” he replied. “Move in with me. Go to school in Texas. Do what you want to do.”

“I am not going to saddle you with me and a kid you don’t want…”

“Why do you think I don’t want you?” He asked. “Wouldn’t want our kid?”

“Because you left!” You looked at him like he was insane.

“That had nothing to do with not wantin’ you, Baby,” he said. “Nothing. I told you that. If I could have moved my life to wherever you were going to school then I never would have left, I just can’t do that. Not with work, not with Sarah…”

“What would I do there?” You asked. “Do you think any district is going to hire me part way through the school year once it’s obvious I’m pregnant? I won’t have a job, I won’t have insurance…”

“Be a substitute teacher until you need to stay home,” he said. “I’ll take care of you, we can get married, you can be on my insurance…”

“I’m not marrying you for the insurance, Joel,” you shook your head. “Do you even hear yourself?”

“Yes.”

You sighed.

“I can’t…” you closed your eyes for a moment. “I can’t… I can’t think straight right now. You’re not thinking straight right now, you haven’t slept in, what, two days?”

“Something like that,” he said. “But my thinkin’ is fine.”

“I need to think,” you shook your head. “I just… I need some space, OK? I have to figure this out.”

He nodded slowly. That made sense. He didn’t want you to need space, he wanted to figure this out right that second, wanted to hold you and touch you and have you know that it was going to be OK because he was going to make it OK. But he was asking a lot of you. Space made sense.

“I’ll try and get a room at the usual place,” he said, remembering the hotel he usually stayed at when he came to visit. Your grandmother disliked him enough, he didn’t really like trying to fuck you under her roof. Jesus, she was really going to hate him now. “But I’m not leavin’ until we get something figured out. Not goin’ anywhere.”

He got a room and immediately passed out, making sure his phone would ring if you called before going face down into the pillows, not even bothering to get under the covers or take off his shoes.

“Joel!”

The sound of your voice jerked him out of the near coma he’d fallen into. He had no idea what time it was or where your voice was coming from.

“Joel!” You called again. “Which room is yours?”

He blinked the sleep from his eyes and scrambled for the door, yanking it open and jumping into the walkway outside. Hours must have passed, it was dark outside. You were standing in the parking lot below. It had started raining and you looked soaked.

“Up here!” He called, going to meet you.

“No, stay put,” you called, going for the stairs. He met you there, anyway. You were breathless, hair and sweatshirt - the one he’d bought you when you’d graduated college - dripping wet. “Sorry, I probably should have called…”

“Don’t need to call,” he put his arm around you and led you to his room. He sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to get you to sit beside him but you ignored him, pacing instead. “What’s going on?”

“Do you still have feelings for me?” You asked, fidgeting with the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

“Thought that’d be pretty obvious given the cross country road trip,” he laughed once. “But yeah, Baby. I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anything else aside from Sarah. And that’s close.”

You nodded, still pacing.

“And you wouldn’t…” You looked up at the ceiling, like you were searching for the words. “I don’t know, resent me? If I lived with you? If you ended up with a kid you don’t want?”

“Oh, Baby,” he said softly. You were so uncertain it made his heart ache. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever met that I want to have kids with.”

You stopped pacing and crossed your arms over your stomach.

“Really?” You asked quietly.

He got up and stood in front of you, your eyes glassy as you looked up at him.

“Really,” he nodded. “The fact that you’re having my baby… that’s the opposite of a problem for me. I just can’t be the thing that fucked your life up, I love you too much for that…”

You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him then, pressing your lips against him with a ferocity he wasn’t expecting. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you tightly against him, the cold rain dripping from your sweatshirt soaking into his skin. He didn’t care. He wanted you closer, needed to be as close to you as he could get.

He pulled you back toward the bed and tugged your leg up on his hip as he sat down. You sank onto his lap, arms draped over his shoulders as his tongue pressed into your mouth, feeling you, tasting you.

Joel tugged at your sweatshirt and you leaned back enough to pull it up and over your head and you did the same with his t-shirt. He looked down at you as he unclasped your bra. Your jeans were held closed with a hair tie. He frowned.

“Oh,” you laughed a little. “Yeah, I… I kind of forgot about that. Like none of my pants fit as of a few days ago…”

He slipped your bra from you, your flesh pebbled from the cold, and ran his hand down your body, his palm flat against you, until he reached the swell between your hips. He carefully opened your pants, casting the hair tie aside, and cupped the small bump at the base of your stomach.

“So that’s our baby, huh?” He said softly, reverently. You pressed a kiss into the top of his head.

“Yeah,” your voice was a little thick. “We made that.”

He looked at you there for another moment, trying to wrap his mind around it. His baby, inside you. Something the two of you did together, even if you hadn’t meant to.

He kissed you again, holding you close to him, your skin on his own. He wrapped his arms around you so he could pick you up and he lay you on the bed, pulling your wet jeans and underwear down your body, casting them aside on the floor, before pulling his own off, too.

Joel opened your thighs, looking down at your slick sex, running a thumb over you, making you shudder. He lay between your legs, kissing down from your belly button, pressing his lips against the place where his child was inside you, continuing down until his mouth was on your clit, making you gasp.

He gently sucked the swollen nub, teasing it lightly with his tongue. You moaned, your fingers twisting in the sheets. He looked up your body, your head thrown back in pleasure, and smiled against you before moving lower, slipping his tongue inside your entrance. You ground your hips against him then, his nose working against your clit.

“Sorry,” you stilled, your hips tensing. “I just…”

“Don’t you dare apologize for taking what you want,” he said, pulled back just far enough from you that he could talk. “Want you to cum for me, want to give you whatever you need to cum for me.”

He pressed his tongue into you again, his nose working your clit as he opened you. He added a finger below his tongue, spreading you open as your body got tighter and tighter around him, You started rocking your hips against his face again and he moaned at it, at how needy he made you. He slipped his free hand below you to tug you tighter to his mouth, thrusting his tongue deeper and you gasped as you came around him. He worked you through your orgasm before he slipped his finger from you and kissed back up your slit, settling between your thighs. He took the hand that had been inside you and stroked himself with it, spreading the precum over his tip, mixing with your wetness, making him slick. He notched the head of himself against you and trailed his fingers gently through your hair as he looked down at you as you panted for breath. Your eyes were wide, pupils blown.

“Marry me,” he said, his voice needy.

“Joel,” you whimpered.

He kissed you and started sinking into your wet heat, so tight and velvety soft. You rocked your hips against him, pulling him deeper until he was fully within you. He pulled his lips far enough back from you that he could speak, his nose trailing over your cheek.

“Marry me,” he said again.

“You don’t mean that,” you were panting below him. “You’re… you’re just…”

“Should’ve asked you years ago,” he pressed his forehead to yours, his cock buried deep inside you. “Marry me. I love you, want to spend my life with you, want you to be my wife. Marry me, Baby…”

“OK,” you looked in his eyes. “I’ll marry you.”

He kissed you again, starting to move inside you, your walls tight around him, like you were trying to hold him as close to you as you could. You wrapped yourself around him and clung to him, his arms sliding beneath you to cradle you tightly against him, the whole of you against and around him as you came, your pussy throbbing around his cock until he fell apart, too.

He collapsed and rolled onto his side, still holding you close, still deep inside you.

“We’ll figure it out, Baby,” he said softly. “We’re doing this together.”

“You’re sure?” You asked, eyes searching his own.

“I’m sure, Mrs. Miller,” he smiled a little. “I’m damn sure.”

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #smut fic

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trulybetty · 8 months

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Sunday Week In Review on a Monday

How is everyone doing? Did we make it through the last week? Those who got a long weekend I hope it was a good one! Yesterday was a clusterfuck and I had the mother of all naps - the type where you wake up and don't know where you are let alone what day of the week it is lol.

So here is Sunday's Week in Review, on a Monday edition! 💕

Truly Betty Updates This Week…

Strings IV

Sequins

First Sentence Game

Fics I Enjoyed This Week…

A Girl Walks Into a Bookstore (Ezra) by @oonajaeadira

While I’m still undecided if I truly enjoy Prospect, I absolutely do love a good Ezra fanfic and this one doesn’t disappoint. It started as a late-night read last Sunday when I was the only one awake and once I started I couldn’t stop. It also seems to have popped up for a lot of other readers as I’ve seen it all over my dash since. @oonajaeadira master list is a joy to go through on Sundays at the moment.

Until Now, Until You | Chapter 1 (Javier Peña) by @wildemaven

This was all the right levels of sexy and spicy and leaving you wanting more and I can’t wait to see how this plays out when the two run into one another again!

Leave off Your Wanderings (Joel Miller) by @oonajaeadira

This series is a total balm to my TLOU2 feels - this is the ending Joel deserved (and in my mind the official sequel to TLOU) and in the third instalment the autumn vibes are warm and cozy, and the build-up between Joel and Songbird is soft in all the right places. This whole series is a warm gentle hug and the writing is so good - definitely check this one out.

Hungry Hearts | Atlantic City (Joel Miller) by @atinylittlepain

I’m sad that this series is nearing its end, but that means I get to go back and read it again. Between flashbacks of young Joel with baby Sarah we’ve got Cherry and Joel reconciling in present day and never knew mini-vans could be so sexy, so check it out!

The Layover | Epilogue (Frankie Morales) by @goodwithcheese

This finale was bittersweet - it has been such a pleasure to follow this story, so much so that it was a highlight of my week. The story wraps up in a way that is perfect for reader x Frankie with them both on pace with one another. It’s done so perfectly that I read it more than once. I will be revisiting this story for sure.

Late Night Texts | Epilogue (Javier Peña) by @mvtthewmurdvck

Another fantastic story that came to a close this week *sigh*, this was just the perfect ending. This story is a delicious rom com romp and I know will hold up to multiple reads. I don’t want to give anything away if you’ve not read it, but it’s a delight.

The Window (Dave York) by @wildemaven

This was a delight to read and Heidi crafts a great story of longing from a distance that has a soft ending that is all enveloping and lends itself to multiple reads.

Bush Pilot (Frankie Morales) by @legendary-pink-dot

Oh boy, this one *fans self* this one was something else. Frankie taking you to see the sunrise but makes you see stars instead in the back of his truck. Oomph, all kinds of good spicy smut here that lends itself to a second read… or three ;)

sam and diane, eat your heart out (Marcus Pike) by @chronically-ghosted

I could easily be biased as this was written based on the prompts I sent Taylor - however, Taylor blew it out of the park with our boy Marcus! This was spicy in all the right places and honestly, I would love to see more of these two. This is a take on Marcus Pike x Reader that I haven’t seen before and it will be on my perma reread list that is for sure! Also, peep the Cheers reference, *squee*

IRL | Part 2 (Javi Gutierrez) by @grogusmum

I’ve had a hard time finding some good Javi G. fanfics, but this one here is so good in its characterization. The story of Javi meeting Reader for the first time since meeting online, is incredibly sweet and I had been waiting in anticipation for this second chapter since I finished the first. It’s also one of the few plus sized reader fanfics that nails it without going over the top and making the character a stereotype. I have this bookmarked to go back and re-read this week, because that ending has been living rent free in my head all week.

Private Dick (Tim Rockford) by @wardenparker

Speaking of plus size reader interpretations - this was one of the few that really resonated with me. I haven’t come across many Tim Rockford fanfics (if you have any others, please send them my way) - but this felt like a perfect interpretation - great at reading situations, until they’re too close to him, but he’s in a process of redeeming himself through his relationship with Reader.

Fics I’m Looking Forward to Reading…

My TBR List is still a work in progress, will share it when it’s done 💕

Light Me Up (Benny Miller) by @musings-of-a-rose

Thanks to Jess and Heidi I seem to be straying into Benny territory this week and have been recommended this story to dip my toe further in. I mean the opening premise alone is enough to have me excited to get stuck in!

Double Dealings (Javier Peña & Ezra) by @julesonrecord & @stardustandskycrystals

1920’s, New Orleans and the potential of two Pedro characters? I cannot wait to get stuck into this one this week over my morning coffee this week!

Posts I Enjoyed This Week…

@shirks-all-responsibilities reminding me of my grumpy Joel (Pedro) header for the mobile layout of my blog. Now has me thinking about making a seasonal one now! September is Halloween Eve of course! 🎃

@wildemaven’s early morning thot post that just took on a life of it’s own 🥵

@rhool’s live blog of the pilot of the Pedro show that never was ‘The Sixth Gun’ entertained me while I had a tame evening watching something Mr. Truly wanted to watch while sipping on a non-alcoholic beer lol.

Things I’ve Enjoyed This Week…

The long weekend - didn’t do anything, no one slept through the night, but there’s something satisfying waking up on a Monday and knowing you don’t have to work.

Saturday’s interactions and posts were a delight to go through and helped my Saturday working go by so much quicker and made for a more enjoyable day.

This Week’s Song…

This recommendation came from @gnpwdrnwhiskey who told me it was Dieter x Bryony coded and it totally is. I’ve listened to this on repeat and I’m dying to revisit these two again, and have something up my sleeve 🎃

Hope everyone has a great week this week and Monday is treating you well! 💕 xx

#betty's sunday in review #Spotify

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joels6string · 1 year

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More Than My Father's Son - Ellie's Journal Entry 2

Joel Miller x f!OC

May 20th, 2034 - May 24th, 2034

Summary: He doesn't trust you, you don't trust him, but fate has left you little option but to follow a wandering nomad who finds you alone and one step from helpless. An arrangement is met, but things change on the road and you both have to decide if it's for better or worse.

Rating: E

Content: NSFW, high levels of violence normal to the TLOU world, angst, fluff, miscommunication trope (it's Joel Miller...), Joel's traumatic childhood, getting together, smut, canon divergence after SLC, fix it fic

Series Masterlist

*Game events from TLOU 1 and 2 will be mentioned. Read at your own risk if you haven’t played.

Entry 1: May 7th, 2034 - May 10th, 2034

May 20th, 2034

More fucking infected. They’re everywhere. Even Joel’s surprised. He’s running low on ammo and starting to panic. Arrow found him a whole box of some crawling through some attic. It was nice to see him all flustered for a second. I think his cheeks turned pink.

He can try and deny it all he wants but I know he’s impressed. She takes down more runners than he does. He doesn’t admit it but it’s true. I watched her save his ass yesterday, one was coming up behind him and he was too distracted and she shot that thing from like 30 feet away, maybe less I don’t know. But it was awesome. He pulled the arrow out of its head and handed it back to her, I think that was his way of thanking her. He’s still fucking terrible at it.

May 21st, 2034

Well I’m 15 now. Nothing to show for it. Joel gave me this little rabbit he carved out of wood, he’s actually pretty good at it. It fits in my pocket perfectly. Didn’t even know he was doing it. That he could do it. He must have told Arrow because she gave me a little bouquet of flowers. No idea where she hunted those down I haven’t seen any in days. Was nice of her though. Her face is healing up pretty well, Joel makes her some salt water soak to put on it, I don’t know. He just tosses a wet rag at her every night, tonight she threw it back when she was done and it hit him square in the back of the head. I think that was the best gift I got.

May 22nd, 2034

Supposedly we’re getting closer to Jackson. I don’t know how he knows it but he swears we are. Whatever dude. He went out searching for food and left me with Arrow. She used to do ballet. BALLET. Like she was a fucking ballerina. And now she stabs runners in the throat with a switchblade. Maybe that’s why she’s so fast. She sneaks up on Joel sometimes and scares the shit out of him. I’m surprised he hasn’t shot her yet. I guess she was 20 when the outbreak hit, at some prestigious college in New York City. I asked her about what happened and she got this weird look, like she saw a ghost, but said probably like everywhere else.

Joel came back with more canned ham and I swear to God if I have to eat this for one more day I’ll choose to starve.

May 24th, 2034

Arrow told me about the city, what it was like before the outbreak. Millions of people in one place. MILLIONS. I don’t even know what that would look like. She said one of her favorite things to do was sit on the roof of her dorm building at night and look out at the city all lit up. A glittering skyline she said. She took me onto the roof of this house and tried to explain it. It was nice to hear someone talk about something…good? I guess? She got really excited, and then I asked her about her dancing and I think she was gonna cry. Made me feel bad, but she did. She said she did it in front of hundreds of people on stage. I think I’d be too nervous. She braided my hair for me like hers, it’s like a crown. She pulled a feather off the back of her arrow and stuck it through, I thought I’d hate it but I kinda like it.

She’s cool. I’m gonna be sad when she’s gone.

Entry 3: June 7th, 2034

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic

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thirtysevenodddogs · 9 months

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Teenage Dream Ch10

MATURE CONTENT 18+

Pairings: Main-Joel Miller x Ofc/Reader/You (reader has a name)

Secondary- Joel x Tess / Mentioned- Ellie x Riley, Tommy x Maria

Fic Warnings: 30/y Age Difference, Joel is 48, Reader is 18, Underage for Ch1 (reader is 17), Unprotected Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Anal Play, Use of Sex Toys, Outdoor Sex, Squirting, Sex Tapes, Infidelity, Rough Sex, Spitting, Face Slapping, DV, Pregnancy.

Word Count: 6k+

AU-No Cordyceps Outbreak/Sarah is alive

BFD!Joel Miller

Joel Miller is having an affair with his daughters' best friend.

You can read the rest of this fic in my AO3 -> In Madness

Notes and reference images can also be found on Ao3

He's been staring at the grainy black and white picture since Tess handed it to him an hour ago, he's still naked, sticky, and itchy from dry sweat and come, and the room smells like his vomit, but he can't fucking tear his eyes away from the image.

It's badly printed, on that kind of funny glossy paper that looks and feels almost exactly like a grocery store receipt, a small rectangle not even the size of his palm, deep black with a white edge, and right at the top, the words that seal his fate.

07/11/2023 16:2:32 PM - Servopolous, Theresa - 4Weeks 3Days

It's a dream turned to nightmare, a tiny little bubble floating in the middle of the static, not even a fully formed shape yet, and he feels like a monster because he doesn't fucking want this, he never did, he had been very clear about that, he KNOWS he told her, before they even became a... thing, that he wasn't really looking for more.

And the truth is, four years ago he hadn't even been looking at all, he was too busy, committed enough to his angst-filled 13-year-old daughters and his pain-in-the-ass growing business, still living in San Antonio and commuting every other week, just so his kids could see their mom.

And he liked his life the way it fucking was, he had two perfectly good hands and a steady enough string of well-serviced and satisfactory one-night-stands, he didn't want complications, he didn't need a relationship, he wasn't looking for a wife or a mother for his children, and he had been sooo FUCKING clear.

Back then all he was really trying to do was build a relationship with his baby brother, and that day Tess was just there, right place, right time.

Wrong man.

But she was... relentless, and she wore him down, little by little, inch by inch, a mindblowing hook-up became a tentative friendship, became a lukewarm romance. And is not like he's innocent in the situation, not at all, she was hot, she was lonely, she was fucking... EASY. And she had agreed that it was what it was and it would never be anything else. They had a deal.

'Wait a minute' he thinks, and he frowns, still staring down at that little bubble because they did have a deal actually, the same deal he made with you that Monday afternoon inside his truck. He wasn't taking any chances... or so he thought.

He licks his lips and takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what he's about to say "When did you stop taking it?" and the way she scoffs makes his skin crawl, such an ugly sound. "When did you start fucking her?" she sneers at him, but he's not in the mood to play the blame game, he knows what he did was shitty, and he's man enough to admit it.

This relationship is over no matter what, it had been begging to be put out of its misery long before you came along, he'd just been dragging his feet on the way to take the shot; you barely nudged him a half step.

And he needs to know.

"Almost 5 months ago" he replies, he tries to be calm, he's angry and she's spiteful and it's a terrible fucking situation, but there's no need to make it worse, so he swallows the anger down, and he takes the blow because that's what he had come here for anyway. "Middle of June" he continues. "That was the first time, didn't plan it or anything, it just happened, just the one time, and I didn't think it was gonna happen again, but..." he looks at her then, finally tearing his eyes away from that tiny bubble "I want to be with her", he doesn't let go of the picture.

She nods her head, biting her lip and looking down into her knees, she's still naked as well, sitting right next to him, legs drawn up against her chest, arms wrapped around herself, she looks so small, and he can see it now.

The pain.

"Did you stop taking the pill?" he asks again, and he tries to sound less accusatory than he had before, he's still the asshole here, because while he might have never returned her feelings, he had still agreed to this relationship, he's the cheater, he's the liar.

She sniffles, and it's not until she lets her face rest against her knees and turns to look at him that Joel can see she's crying, and she is so beautiful, she really is, all pale freckled-skin and long fire-red hair, she's always been beautiful, tall and fit and sweet.

He feels... nothing.

He didn't even realize until he got that first taste of you, that he had been numb for the past 3 years, stuck in HER love story, going on dates she wanted to go on, eating at restaurants she wanted to eat at, visiting her parents, her home town. He was indifferent to it all, it kept her happy and got his dick wet somewhat regularly, without him having to put in any effort at all.

It was what he wanted it to be, uncomplicated, they didn't fight about anything and barely talked beyond superficial topics, in fact, most of the information Joel knew about Tess came from those Sunday visits with her parents, for almost an entire year before they became a couple all he knew about her was her name, that she was a widower and that she sucked cock better than she baked cookies.

And he never really cared to learn much more than that, not like he does with you. He wants to know everything there is to know about you now, and he wants to be there while you discover so much more.

He hasn't felt the way you make him feel in a long time, way before Tess, hell, way before his marriage. You make him feel illusioned again, hopeful, amazed, happy... you break his heart and put it back together with a little smile, a soft kiss, a tender touch. Five days of you giving him the cold shoulder drove him nearly insane, not talking to you, not seeing you, not HAVING you, got him near the edge of desperation.

Tess... he could go a month not saying a single word to her, and it didn't even register.

He hadn't felt sadness or anger or YEARNING for a woman in well over a decade. You gave him back his soul and reignited his passion. Your touch, your scent, your voice...

He should have ended things with Tess 5 months ago because he fucking knew it was over, he remembers the exact moment even, your hands against his wall, your body in a perfect curve almost bent over his pillows, your ass bouncing against his hips, sweat dripping down your spine... he remembers sparing a thought to Tess then, thinking about the marks on his shoulders, thinking she might be upset, might be hurt, still... that was the moment he knew, deep down, it was over, he was done.

She sniffs again "So... This is it?" she wipes away a tear as it runs down her cheek and Joel sighs because he's starting to get the idea that this wasn't a "little accident", the last glimmer of hope he has that it was just a fluke, that they are one of the odd ones, in that tiny little 3% where the safety net didn't work, is fading fast, along with his patience.

"Tess. Pleeease." And he's not really sure what he's pleading for here, please tell me it's not real, please tell me you're not that fucking stupid... just... PLEASE.

The silent little tears turn into streams, and she tightens her hold on her legs and presses her cheek down into her knee harder, like she's trying to hide away, disappear without moving an inch. Her voice breaks and her lips tremble, and when she speaks he can see the strings of saliva as her mouth floods with her sorrow "I never took it" She sobs.

She's openly weeping now.

Joel feels a jolt in his stomach, he can taste vile in the back of his throat, and he knows that if he hadn't already thrown up he'd be getting sick right now because it's fucking worse than he thought, and he IS one of the odd ones, only, it turns out he's fuckin lucky he didn't get his girlfriend pregnant until now.

Three goddamned years, she's been lying to him.

He can't breathe, he's beyond anger now, he feels trapped and betrayed.

He fucking trusted her.

September 20th 2019

"Come on Joel! When was the last time you did anything fun?" Tommy's looking at him so earnestly, like a puppy wagging its tail waiting for its owner to throw a ball, it's disgusting... and it's working.

Joel sighs "Double dates are never fun" he grumbles, but still, he snatches his jacket out of Tommy's hands and puts it on, it's Friday night, his kids are with their mom and his brother is right, he hasn't had an actual day off in ages, let alone done anything fun... tho he doubts this will be any fun at all.

He just hopes Maria's finally got some good shit behind that bar, he's tired of beer on tap and 5-dollar shots of cheap watered-down whiskey; if he's gonna sit through this bullshit he might as well get some good drinking out of it "Is not a double date man" Tommy insists as they make their way out and into his beat-up junker of a truck "Is just me and Maria having a good time with my big bro before I get shipped out to that godforsaken desert again" the dark look that washes over his face makes Joel feel like shit for even trying to get out of this in the first place.

Still...

"You, Maria and Maria's friend", He says, rolling his eyes and shaking the feeling of guilt, some times he wonders if maybe he should have been there for his brother more, if he was what was missing in Tommy's life that made him make stupid decisions, like jumping off of a water tower when he was 15 and fracturing his skull, like... signing his life away to the government at 17.

He looks at him now, 21 years old and he looks nothing like the little kid Joel remembers and still yet too young to have to carry the weight of so much death and despair on his shoulders. Most of the time he just blames their parents, for having a baby when Joel was already a grown man who didn't have time to be a big brother.

Tommy laughs, and it's nothing like the laugh it used to be, and Joel knows it never will be again "Ok and Maria's friend, but is not like we're setting you up dude, she's just some chick Maria met in her Sad Wives Club" he turns the corner so carefully, his eyes never leaving the road, looking left and right and all over, staring at every little piece of trash a little too long, before speeding up, and he doesn't even know he's doing it, Joel could fucking cry.

"Does she know you call it that?" He asks, and just lets him be, the brother he never really knew is gone anyway, might as well get used to the version that's here now.

He knows about Maria's group, she had joined a year after she started seeing Tommy, even tried to convince Joel to go to a couple of meetings with her, but he just wasn't cut for that kind of thing, grief is never better when you share it, no matter what people say, he knows it would just make him sadder and more scared to hang around a bunch of people who had his same fears and his same worries, and the same lack of useful answers to it all.

Tommy snorts "She'd fuck my shit up if she found out" he's not kidding, Maria takes the whole thing very seriously "Anyway, Tess is cool" he continues "I've met her a couple times, her husband died like 6 months ago or something, and it wasn't even in combat dude, a goddamned training accident" and he says it so nonchalant, like it's an everyday situation and not a significant moment in a grieving woman's life, he actually fucking laughs "Fucking POGs playing at being real soldiers on base, got him and a couple of other guys all shot up, he's the only one who died tho... I think" he shrugs and just goes on driving and talking, and Joel's noticed that ever since he first came back he just rambles about anything and everything, on and on and on.

"Anyway, she's cool and she's hot" He glances at Joel then, over the side mirror, never actually turning his head away from his duty, never taking his eyes off of the road for longer than half a second "And she's a widow so at most you'll get to dick her down good like maybe once and you're golden, I don't think she's looking to date" They go over a pothole, that brief half second glace at him clearly not fast enough, and Tommy's hand slaps over Joel's chest so hard he's sure there's gonna be a mark there, the truck stops completely and he's sitting up straight, still and on high alert.

He takes a deep breath in and lets it go, once, twice, and then... it's like nothing happened, he starts the truck back up and keeps on going, he stops talking, and doesn't look at Joel again the whole way there, 21 years old. It's fucking terrifying.

In the end, it turns out Tommy was right, it is fun, Maria is gracious as always, and for once she serves him a proper drink "Go that just for you Miller" She says with a bright smile as she sets down a brand new bottle of GlenDronach Allardice on the table in front of him, her long twisted tresses cascading over her shoulder, and he loves her, he really does, and he's happy his brother found himself such a good woman, really.

"Marry me", he says, cradling the deep navy blue cylinder in his hands like it's a delicate newborn baby, and looking up from the table to her face "Seriously, drop this jackass" he points his thumb at his baby brother who has a genuine smile on his face for once "... and marry me, you are perfect!" he smiles at her and she blushes all pretty, and Tommy slaps his shoulder a little harder than necessary, and tells him to stop trying to steal his girl just as a soft voice, slightly unsure, rings out from behind him.

"Maria?" Joel turns, smile still etched on his face, and he's stunned because Tommy wasn't lying, she is hot, tall, and petite, looking like she just got off of work in black slacks and a cute red see-through top, nothing scandalous tho, demure and cute, sweet even.

Her long strawberry-blonde hair loose, framing her pretty face and bringing out the bright green color in her eyes, Joel stumbles a little in his haste to get up from his stool and offer her a seat, she fucking giggles, all girlish and so goddamned pretty. He wants to drop to his knees.

Maria smirks "Tess this is Tommy's brother, Joel", She says, gesturing to him "Joel, this is Tess" She extends her hand and he takes it, and it's pretty much all a blur from there. They talk about light and superficial topics, she doesn't mention her husband, he doesn't mention his daughters, and they laugh about stupid things, like a story Tess tells him about some guy from her office that he won't remember, and then again when Joel burps out loud, and they drink... a lot.

He mentions he actually lives in San Antonio so they go back to her place instead, and as soon as the door is closed, gone is the sweet, demure woman, replaced by silk ropes around his wrists and a blindfold over his eyes. She sucks his brains out through his dick and leaves him tied up until he can go again. It's the best fuck he's had in a while. The next morning they say goodbye at the door, no phone numbers, no see you later, no promises made.

Once and he's golden, right?

Two weeks later she walks in through the door of his favorite bar, she looks surprised to see him, they laugh about the coincidence and share a couple of drinks, she tells him she's in town for work, he pulls her into a dimly lit bathroom stall, it's not as good as the first time, but it's good enough.

She gives him her number. He never calls.

"THREE FUCKING YEARS?!" He yells, and she cries, he gets out of bed and starts picking up his clothes to get dressed and she cries harder "What the fuck were you thinking?!" and he's not even looking at her, shoving and pulling and zipping up his clothes as fast as he can.

He needs to get out of here.

"Please, Joel!" And it's her turn to plead now, she's still sobbing, her voice torn between heaving and hiccups "I LOVE YOU!" she cries, and she's trying to stop him, a hand wrapped around his wrist pulling at him, and there's a flash of a memory in the back of his mind, of how that had felt the first time he was with her, exciting and new.

He grimaces at how it feels now "Don't!" He snarls, low in his throat, and he rips his arm out of her grasp.

"Please! Please Joel!" and it should break his heart, but if he felt nothing before, he feels even less now, he can't stand her, can't fucking look at her, he doesn't want to be in the same room "It's over, Tess", He says, and he's really trying hard now not to do something stupid, he turns to the door and...

Woosh!!

He feels it before he hears it, so fucking close to his head, cold and fast, followed by the sound of glass shattering against the wall right next to him, he's shocked, paralyzed almost, his hand suspended in the air stretched out towards the doorknob, and he can feel a little nick on his face, it burns, and then the warmth of blood running down his cheek.

"Oh god!" He does look at her now, her hands are shaking over her mouth where she's covering it, and she looks even more shocked than he feels "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry!" the sound of her voice muffled, her eyes are wide open and so green, she looks scared.

He just stares at her and licks his lips, they're dry and rough, he lifts his arm and uses the back of his hand to wipe at his cheek, wincing as it brushes over the wound... everything feels so surreal. She moves to take a step toward him and he raises that same hand in front of his body, there's a stain, bright red, still wet.

"Stop" and he's not really angry anymore, he's not really sad either.

He's just fucking done.

"Don't come near me, don't come near my family" He pushes his hand into the pocket of his jeans, smearing the blood against the denim, and he pulls out the crumpled-up picture he'd only just shoved in there, gesturing at her with it "And this?" he says, unfolding the paper as best as he can. "Here's how it's gonna go" His voice is steady "You don't call me unless it's an emergency, you're dying or the kid's dying. Got it?" she nods, and he can see her throat moving as she struggles to swallow.

"Good" He nods back at her "I'll pay the bills, doctor visits, ultrasounds, fucking diapers, all that shit".

"Joel..." She starts, but his hand is back up in front of him again and he shakes his head "I don't wanna hear it. You want my kid, you'll get my kid" and he will do his part, what's done is done, this part of his life is over, he doesn't want to be with her, he doesn't want to see her.

His kid is innocent.

"I'll be there when it's born, but you and I? That's done, we're done" There are stains on her face, dry tears and sweat, smeared makeup, and it's funny he thinks, the image of when he first met her is so clear right now, that lovely face, that pretty smile.

The list of things he should regret keeps growing.

"Goodbye, Tess"

February 2nd 2020

"Yo, bossman! There's someone for you at the gate" Tommy laughs, shoving a cookie into his mouth and stumbling a little as he opens the door to Joel's office, and the sound is getting worse, darker, uglier. Joel hates it, he wishes he could take it all away, wishes he could stop his brother from drinking himself half to death too.

"Who is it?" He asks, frowning and taking a cookie out of the container Tommy offers him, biting into it, it's disgusting, he doesn't even chew before he spits it back out "Eeugh! The fuck is that?" he asks, smacking his lips and his tongue trying to get the bad taste out of his mouth. Tommy shrugs and swallows, taking another bite "Oatmeal raisin maybe?"

"Anyway..." He speaks through the mouthful of food, spilling crumbs down his shirt "Your girlfriend's outside" Joel frowns, taken aback, "What are you talking about?" as far as he knows, he's fucking single. "Maria's friend? Though you were seeing her, Maria says she told her you've hooked up a few times" and Joel is very confused, yeah he's fucked Tess once or twice, or... Five times, whenever she's down in San Antonio for work and pretending to run into him at his favorite bar, who's fucking counting anyway? They're not SEEING each other.

"She talks to Maria about me?" Tommy shrugs again, still eating those rotten cookies, Joel gets up from behind his desk and looks through the window.

And there she is, tall and pale and pretty, and just...there. "What the fuck?" He leaves his brother in the office, at least in there he can't hurt himself, he jogs a little to get to her, bright green eyes and a huge smile greeting him "Hey" She says, looking up at him like this is normal, just an everyday, run of the mill thing they do... It's not.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, and he doesn't want to be rude or anything, but... this is weird "Maria told me you were working in town, thought I'd stop by, bring some cookies for the guys" Oh!... so that's where those things came from. "Oh! Ok. Thank you, I guess" He says.

And he feels like a fish out of water, can't even think of anything else to say to her, so they just stand awkwardly, separated by a metal fence.

He lets his fingers curl over the wire, "Soooo, you gonna show me around?" she asks, the smile never leaving her face, and he still can't quite understand what's happening here, but hey, when life gives you lemons, and all that... "Uhm... Alright, sure" he opens the gate, if she wants to look at the dirt on this side of the fence, that's fine, he grabs a vest and a hard hat from where there's some hanging behind the security guard's booth.

"Gotta put this on, OSHA rules", he tells her, she wants to play this game? he knows how to play. People would be surprised by how well the whole 'hot construction worker' shit actually works with women, she's not the first pretty thing he's had at a job site, she's just the first one he didn't ask over.

He gives her the full experience too, fucks her tucked in between the bucket and the front tire of the biggest loader they have on the site, "OSHA rules?" she jokes, smiling at him as he tears open a condom, he laughs and winks at her "Safety first"

She dusts off the dirt from her dress afterward and asks if he still has her number, he tells her he does. He still doesn't call.

Tommy gets deployed for the last time on March 7th, he comes back to Texas two months later with a handful of little war tokens, a broken back, a purple heart, a messed up brain, and an honorable discharge. He's a veteran at 22, barely functioning.

Joel needs help.

He moves to Austin in June, with his business, his kids, and his brother in tow. Closer to Maria, closer to Olivia, and he's not even thinking about Tess until she starts showing up at his place, to lend a hand, to do some chores, to help with Tom...

They fall into bed together more often than not, and while his life's not all roses and ponies, he still feels kind of bad for her, and he wants to be honest. "I'm not looking for anything here, you need to know that", they're lying together on top of a tarp on the floor of his half-renovated house where he's been working on adding an extension to the place so Tommy can live there once he gets out of rehab.

Tess frowns and turns her face to look at him "What do you mean? Don't you like me?" She asks, and he does, but he doesn't want her to think it's anything more than it is. "We have fun together right?" he sighs, and he really wishes they weren't naked right now. "I do, and we do, but..." He turns on his side, and it's fucking uncomfortable, he's 44, he really should stop sleeping around in stupid places like a goddamned unfinished floor, he looks at her, that pretty face and those bright green eyes.

"I don't want you getting hurt because you want something I can't give, this..." he gestures at them, and the space between them, and the dusty unfinished room "Is pretty much it", He tells her "I already did the husband bit, had a wife, had my kids... I'm not looking for a repeat performance"

She's quiet for a moment, turns her face back to look up at the bare bones of what will become a ceiling and she sounds so sure when she speaks "I'm not looking for that either" She says.

He lays down his rules, no babies, no rings, no paperwork, no moving in together.

She tells him she's ok with all of it, but she wants it to be exclusive, Joel agrees, he'll stop fucking other people but he can't promise anything more than that, she gives up on waiting for him to call, and they see each other when they can, mostly whenever she just... shows up.

And it's good, it's fun even, she's sweet and smart.

The girls start at their new school in September, and Tommy moves into the house in the middle of October, wracked by night terrors and still weighted down by so much guilt, he sneaks into Joel's room and sleeps on his floor for a month before they figure out is better for him to be close by, so Ellie and Sarah get bunk beds at 15, and the extension becomes a ridiculously large laundry room.

Life goes on, and he has a good one. A happy home, a somewhat healthy brother, two beautiful daughters, and a girlfriend.

Tess tells him she loves him at the height of Summer on the 4th of July 2021, fireworks blasting over their heads in the middle of Milburn Park, recently half deaf thanks to a badly timed detonation, Joel pretends he doesn't hear it and he gets away with it. He smiles and lets her kiss him, she doesn't make a fuss, never brings it up again at all actually, so when she asks if he wants to meet her parents he says yes, figures he owes her at least that.

He still has her on his phone as 'Maria's friend'.

And he still never calls first.

He's drunk.

Drunker than he's been in a long time anyway.

Drunk off of cheap shit that he bought at the local HEB on his way out of Travis Height's, because it was the only place still open after 9 pm in Tess's neighborhood and he left his good liquor back at your place, his place? That fucking apartment's proving to be the stupidest thing he's ever done, where's he gonna get the money to keep you and a fucking kid?

He doesn't want to think, so he's drinking instead, fucking fireball and Jager like he's back at college blacking out after a rager, and he's hoping that it still has that same effect, because he wants to fucking forget.

He hears the swish of the patio door sliding open, smooth and quiet, and even in his drunken state he still feels the tendrils of the little thrill it gives him every time he hears the sound, the same thought he's had before a thousand times running through his mind 'fuck I'm good!', because he fucking installed that piece of shit aluminum and glass double-wide fucking monstrosity himself, and it's never gotten stuck, not once. He's THAT good.

The night breeze in November is hanging on the wrong side of freezing, but he hardly feels it, and he doesn't have to look up from the couch to know it's Tommy who just walked in, he's the only person Joel knows that can walk as if on air at 200 pounds and change, not even a little tap against the linoleum, and he's grateful, so many years later, that the light feet are the worse thing Tommy's got left from his time overseas, he still gets drunk, and he still gets rowdy, but mainly because he's 25 and an idiot, and not because he's in pain.

The door slides shut just as smoothly as it had opened, and a few seconds later Joel can feel the weight and the heat of a body sitting down next to him on the sofa, the leather groaning and squeaking slightly as Tommy gets comfortable. And he hasn't said a word, but Joel knows why he's here, he was sure Tess would call Maria as soon as he fucking left, probably to tell her how he was a horrible, terrible man that had just left her for another woman, right after fucking her and finding out she was pregnant.

"I don't know if I should be congratulating you or offering my condolences", Tommy speaks finally, and Joel snorts, taking a swing of cinnamon-spiced whiskey mixed with what is basically German cough syrup, straight from the bottle, it tastes like shit, but he feels the same so it kind of balances things out.

"What'd she say?" he asks, offering the half-empty bottle of murky dark liquid to Tommy and letting his head fall back against the back of the couch, closing his eyes "That shit tastes like ass" Tommy grumbles, pushing Joel's hand, and the bottle, away.

Joel chuckles "I like eating ass", he remarks and takes another swing, and he's not as drunk as he'd like to be, because now he's thinking about you, and your ass, and your tits, and your pretty face, and how you're probably gonna leave him as soon as you find out.

Well, Shiiit!

Tommy snorts "There's something I didn't need to know, thank you!" he chuckles "Come on" He tries to take the bottle from Joel's hand, making a face at the fact that his brother actually dared to pour jager into a bottle of disgustingly cheap whiskey "We still gotta work in the morning man, you can get blasted on the weekend" And Joel would laugh at how their roles have switched, he's been doing nothing for the past two hours but think about how his life was going 4 years ago, and it's wild to think Tommy's the voice of reason now, more and more often.

He relents though, letting go of the liquor, because Tommy's right they do have to work tomorrow, and now he has to start thinking about how he's gonna have to start over, two kids almost out of the house, one set to come into the world. He's fucked.

Tommy sets the bottle down on the table, just out of his reach.

"She said you got into a fight", he says, and Joel sighs, rubbing his eyes and throwing his head back, sinking into the cozy warmth of the leather, he's fucking tired "She threw a fucking vase at my head, we didn't get into a fight", he lets his arms drop to his sides, staring up at the ceiling and frowning at a little crack he can see in the corner, he's gonna have to fix that.

"That where the cut came from?" Tommy asks, nodding his head at Joel, and if he's honest he'd actually forgotten about it until just now, he brings a hand up to touch his cheek, and is not even scabbed over yet, still tacky "Yeah..." the dull throbbing ache is back, and he thinks it has probably been there the whole time, he was just too... preoccupied.

His entire body feels light and heavy at the same time, and the air around him is thick and warm like syrup, he didn't get drunk enough for the room to spin or his mind to go foggy, but he feels relaxed at least, feels like he can finally deal with how the day went, he's actually more clear-minded than he was back at Tess's place, and he knows he over reacted, is not like she did it on her own, he was a more than willing participant, and he could have worn a condom if he wanted to, it didn't have to be all on her... it doesn't have to be all on you.

"My girl's gonna dump me when I tell her I'm gonna have a kid" And maybe he is a little bit more drunk than he was just thinking, because that wasn't what he wanted to say at all, it just came out, he misses you, not seeing you for a day already had him all twisted up inside, and then after everything... he fucking loves you so much, he really does.

"Hey you wanna see something amazing?" he sits up then and grabs his phone, turning to look at Tommy, he feels giddy all of a sudden, warm and fuzzy, and Tommy's frowning a little, but he's leaning in to look as Joel types in his code into that little private folder he keeps and brings up the photo you'd only just sent him this morning. "Look at that, that's my baby" and he actually groans and brings a hand down to his crotch to adjust himself, the photo is tame compared to most of the stuff you share and record now, but it's so delicious, a selfie of your beautiful bare ass and freshly waxed pussy, and the message that you wrote along with it, so sweet and innocent.

💋SweetGirl: 'Hope you have a great day baby, I love you'.

"Jesus Christ!" Tom's actually a little stunned, and Joel laughs, setting the phone down on the table, using a finger to push it toward his brother. He has a dark thought then, sick and fucked up, and so twisted, as Tommy picks up his phone and swipes to see the next photo "Fuuuuck" and the next, and then one more after that... about how he wishes he would have fucked his baby into you instead, watch your sweet little belly ripen and pop, swollen with his seed, make you his completely.

He had a fucking plan, to keep you for as long as he could. He'll be lucky now if you even give him a pitty fuck goodbye.

He's gonna lose you.

He's gonna be a fucking dad.

October 6th 2023

Fuuuuuuck! He can't stop thinking about you and that tiny little bikini, your fuckin body when you finally took your clothes off and got into the pool, so tight and perky and sweet.

"Oh fuck!" he moans, his eyes closed and his head thrown back while Tess licks and sucks at the head of his cock, your shimmering tanned skin, your perfect tits, the way your ass bounced and jiggled with each step "Aaah.. fuck yes" The sound of gulping and slurping and Tess's hand stroking his shaft, it's so obscene, her fingers wrapping around him tighter.

Your soft little belly, and the sound of your laughter, and the way water dripped down your body "Aaaah... fuck, get on the bed... come on" he pulls her off of his dick, a hand tangled in her hair as she gets on top of his sheets, and they're the same ones he'd fuck you in, washed a few times over, your scent is gone now, but the image of you writhing and moaning, and begging him to take you "Mmm, spread your legs" he growls, bending over her back, talking against her ear as he rips down her panties. "Joooooeel... Mmm" She moans, and he wishes she'd just stayed fucking quiet. "Shhh... my kids are asleep" he whispers, but he couldn't care less, he just doesn't want her to drown out his memories.

The headboard slams against the wall with how hard he pushes into her, and it's warm and wet and tight, and it's your hips that his hands are gripping, your ass that's bouncing against his body, your back, arched so fucking pretty "Mmm fuck baby, feels so good" he moans, fucking into you, dark long curls sticking to your sweaty shoulders, and your soft little mewls and whines as you wiggle your body while you get used to his girth are like music playing in the back of his head, his favorite fucking song.

"Oh god Joooel!" she moans again, and he growls looking down at her, his hips faltering, his rhythm thrown "Shhh.. come on, be quiet" and it's pale skin and freckles and red hair, he closes his eyes again.

He comes to the image of your little pink pussy dribbling and drooling with his essence, your body spent, lying on your belly on the mattress next to him, your perfect, tender body used and well pleasured. He wishes he could have it again.

He wraps his arm around Tess's body as she drifts off, falling asleep curled over his chest, and not for the first time, he thinks, he has to end it with her, break up before anyone ends up hurt.

Before he does something stupid.

#mia's fic #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #bfd!joel #best friend's dad #not intended for minors #18+

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heartidylla · 1 year

Text

➫ my masterlist

if you find a scenario you’d like to read, comment it & i’ll prioritize that!

taylor swift — debut

tim mcgraw — agent whiskey

a past summer affair with your best friends ex, jack, hasn’t left your mind. your best friend treated him horribly, and you knew that fairly well. after bumping into him on your way to the bookstore, a new type of arrow struck you both in the heart.

picture to burn — javier peña

you and javier have always had a love-hate relationship. it’s always been a hassle to work around relationship wise because your prides are extreme, and you never want to apologize. it’s the reason as to when you have broken up, you both have a ended on the worst terms.

teardrops on my guitar — joel miller

everyone knows that you’re in love with joel except joel himself. so, even after all your signs of admiration for him, you’re left sitting on the sidelines and to watch your best friend fall in love with someone who is not you.

a place in this world — din djarin

caught up in a mixture of finding yourself and loneliness, you meet a certain mandalorian who offers you a spot in his world.

cold as you — joel miller

your dads best friend and you have had a secret relationships for quite some time now. it has slowly become harder to hide, and the guilt that has been building up in joel finally surfaces.

the outside — frankie morales

you’re santiago’s little sister who has been left out of everything between the group of guys. however, when you notice that frankie is depressed you try to push your way through his walls.

tied together with a smile — javi gutierrez

javi has been going through some self hatred lately due to his cousin’s comments. when he consoles in you, you make sure that he feels your admiration for him.

stay beautiful — javi gutierrez

you first meet javi at the beach, and ever since then you’ve been admiring him from the sidelines due to him being absolutely oblivious towards anything having to do with romance.

should’ve said no — javier peña

javier has always been known to be a casanova, and you blame yourself for ever expecting him to put away his informant antics and determine that your love is enough. sadly, he has yet to prove that to you. completely in character, he has screwed up again. this time you’re over his behavior.

mary’s song — javi gutierrez

you once believed love stories cannot be like the fairytales; however, once you experiences true love and made you’re own love story, you take back what you stated for years on end.

our song — frankie morales

during a small car ride with your boyfriend he plays a cd that brings up memories of your high school years.

i’m only me when i’m with you — din djarin

din is only ever able to let his guard down around you, and goes completely soft whenever you’re near.

invisible — joel miller

you watch joel falling in love with tess who seems to not be interested in him at all.

a perfectly good heart — joel miller

in a moment of overbearing stress, joel miller says somethings he wishes he could take back, but his pride is too massive for him to ever admit that.

taylor swift — fearless

fearless — oberyn martell

growing up with oberyn martell by your side (due to his father being your dads best friend) has come to be quite a thrill.

fifteen — javier peña

your highschool boyfriend, javier, turns out to be quite the opposite person as you expected him to be.

love story — din djarin

your knight, din, has secretly fallen in love with you; yet, you cannot indulge in those romantic feelings you hold for one another.

hey stephen — oberyn martell

your eyes laid on oberyn. his charming smile swept you away, and you couldn’t ever help yourself from catching feelings for him.

white horse — joel miller

joel miller, the asshole that he is, breaks your heart and tries to come back but it’s too late.

you belong with me — javi gutierrez

your best friend, javi, has laid his eyes on someone else and you can’t help but think he’d be happier with you.

breathe — joel miller

you and joel split up due to stress and not communicating properly. joel finds it extremely difficult to process.

tell me why — frankie morales

frankie has been picking fights at the smallest things with you due to his own complications and you are fed up dealing with it, even if you cherish him and his daughter dearly.

you’re not sorry — agent whiskey

from the moment you broke things off with jack he has been calling you, begging for a second chance and to explain himself; but, you’re done.

the way i loved you — javier peña

you and javier have always had some type of magical spark. one that spikes the evilness in the other as well as the beauty. however, you both split up because of a horrible fight and you try to move on but you can’t help but reminisce what you had.

forever & always — joel miller

as joel had gotten very drunk, he confessed his inner feelings for you. the next day, he feels insecure to those feelings which haven’t ever resulted in anything good and tries to run away from them.

the best day — din djarin

you had the best day with your adoptive dad and brother, grogu. :)

change — oberyn martell

oberyn learns to finally finalize the long-time battle with himself as he put in every ounce to revenge her against her murders; with you by his side, he was finally able to achieve that.

jump than fall — joel miller

you meet joel in a supermarket, and your progression up his pyramid slowly increases. you can tell he’s comfortable around you, but you can’t help but notice the smallest details of his mannerisms that only come out around you.

untouchable — din djarin

you and din are stargazing in silence from within the razor crest, but someone that moment of silence speaks more than what your words ever could.

come in with the rain — javier peña

you have known javier for years now — since you were kids to be in fact. you’ve spent just as much time trying to figure him out than admiring him from afar. when he comes back from columbia, you try and help ease his decreasing mental state; but, he doesn’t want to be helped.

superstar — din djarin

in two opposing tribes, the youth you and din started secretly meeting up. you take notice to a lot of things about him, especially how enthusiastic he is about honoring his tribe. sadly, your ears betray you and you start to notice the people that surround him as well: his fangirls.

the other side of the door — javier peña

during a heated fight, you walk away from javier which leads to him standing all alone. though, what you don’t say is that you want him to follow you. you want him to show if he truly needs you or if it’s all for show.

today was a fairytale — din djarin

a young princess and her future knight go out secretly on a date. let’s just say … it certainly was a fairytale.

you all over me — agent whiskey

jack goes through all the stages of missing you after he lost you due to his foolishness. he’s tortured by reminders of you everywhere he goes.

mr. perfectly fine — javier peña

javier has pushed you too far over the edge this time which results in a huge blowout. you not only can’t get over the way he treated you, but you wish to make his life miserable for such.

we were happy — javier peña

your high school lover has to depart for his dream job that he has been working for since he was young, and the first couple months consist of you reminiscing the way you two loved.

that’s when — agent whiskey

after jack had a moment of foolishness, you needed time to think it all over. as much as it upsets him, he knows it’s for the best.

don’t you — frankie morales

after being forced apart due to the requirements of his job. after months of being gone, he comes back and seeing him is inevitable.

bye bye baby — javier peña

after catching javier with another informant, you are finally over his antics which he seems to not be able to put in his past; unwillingly leaving him for good.

taylor swift — speak now

mine — frankie morales

during college, you meet frankie who has somehow wondered into your life. slowly, he breaks down your walls and pushes through them.

sparks fly — oberyn martell

as a maid, you notice a lot about oberyn over your many years serving him. unnoticed to you, he watches you from afar as well… until he finally gets the chance to talk to you up close.

back to december — javi gutierrez

due to your own personal insecurities that was brought to light because of your parents. you forget that not everyone is out to get you. that you aren’t alone at all. between that blurred line, you unintentionally hurt the one person who has ever cherished you and you terribly regret it.

speak now — javier peña

as your childhood crush, javier, is getting married you cannot help but think of everything that you two could possibly be. when it gets down to the final moments, your gazes connect .. and you get the sudden urge to commit to something you won’t ever be able to come back from.

dear john — joel miller

as freshly graduated college student, you take an instant interest within a guy you meet at the super market, joel, whose complicated mind comes into your life for the better and worst.

mean — pedro pascal

after acting out your first role alongside pedro pascal in a rom-com, the public takes you upon the lighting as a personal threat and attacks you. they throw their weapons in a form of utter violence and desperation for pedro to look their way or give them his attention. however, the complete opposite happens and he supports you through your first floor of hatred. the next thing you know, you’re making your musical debut to confront all of the haters.

the story of us — din djarin

you and the mandalorian had a spark once before; however, it ended on horrible terms. two years later, you awkwardly cross paths once again. will you two be able to rekindle the love that still lingers?

never grow up — joel miller

joel watches as you and ellie grow up with a sense of melancholy.

enchanted — din djarin

as a princess, you weren’t allowed to talk to outsiders. however, one night at a ball you take a walk in the garden and that’s the moment you meet a certain mandalorian.

better than revenge — agent whiskey

a woman from work seems to fully believe that just because she has jack’s attention for a moment that he’s automatically hers.

innocent — frankie morales

you help frankie through the worst time of his life.

haunted — frankie morales

frankie leaves abruptly for work after promising you he was retired for good. you cant help but feel betrayed, and the moment you see him again after years of regretting him .. you make it known you’re not on talking terms.

last kiss — frankie morales

when frankie parts with you due to his inability to take care of himself, you were left heartbroken. he seemed to believe that he was completely alone within this world, that not even within your arms he would ever have a true home besides the battlefield. at some point in time, after years of fighting his own thoughts, you let out a deep breath and gave up. yet, that doesn’t mean you don’t miss him.

long live — pedro pascal

as a worldwide loved singer, pedro pascal attended one of your concerts due to going through a rough spot with his career and mental health. he was within your sight the entire time. he danced, hyped you up, and sang the entire time. after the show, you go out of your way to personally express your gratitude for his support and offer for him to come along on your journey as one of your guitarist. you two hastily build up a bond based off of many nights staying up and creating music along with one another.

ours — frankie morales

frankie worries about the communities opinion on your relationship, and you have to reassure him that he’s the only one you want.

if this was a movie (fearless?) — joel miller

joel and you abruptly breakup due to a moment of anxiety, and yet he doesn’t try to get you back.

superman — din djarin

din saves you from a dangerous situation, and it slightly sparks a mutual connection between the both of you. over time, you gain feelings for him and yet have to admire him from afar.

taylor swift — red

state of grace — javi gutierrez

you accidentally bump into javi within a busy street which caused his shirt to become ruined. you’re kindness sticks like honey within his mind, and soon enough you find him once more.

red — joel miller

a flashback of your greatest loss of a lover who brought out more emotion in you than you could of ever imagined.

treacherous — din djarin

as much as din hates the idea of putting you into danger, he can’t help but indulge himself within your warmth.

i knew you were trouble — javier peña

during a celebration party within a bar, javier bursts through the door making your eyes lock onto his. he smirked at your curious gaze, and that was the moment you knew how much trouble he would become.

all too well — joel miller

you remember your bipolar relationship with joel all too well.

22 — javi gutierrez

a fun outing with you, nick cage, and javi … that might consist of some hard drug usage.

i almost do — frankie morales

as frankie is countries away from you, you wonder if he’s in agony from the lacking of you as much as you are for him.

we are never ever getting back together — javier peña

after a continuous on and off relationship with javier, you finally break things off for good and improve your life for the better.

stay stay stay — javi gutierrez

after a small dispute between you and your boyfriend, you go up to him and tell him how you really feel.

the last time — joel miller

after always missing the mark with joel. you’re tired of the constant worrying and fighting for him to be part of your life. however, shows an interest in trying to work out one last time.

holy ground — agent whiskey

after meeting in a cute coffee shop, jack starts to show up more in your life.

sad beautiful tragic — frankie morales

long distance is hard, it’s even harder when the other is playing a dangerous game.

the lucky one — pedro pascal

being new to the fashion and fame, you can’t help but take notice to pedro pascal’s behavior towards the public eye.

everything has changed — javi gutierrez

a fateful meeting erranged by your parents changed your life for the best.

starlight — din djarin

after secretly leaving a mandated ball, you and din run off and have your own together.

begin again — javi gutierrez

after a tough breakup, you meet the definition of sunshine who completely changes your opinion on love.

the moment i knew — joel miller

after your dads best friends and your situationship, joel miller, doesn’t show up to your birthday party, you knew that things were over.

come back … be here — frankie morales

after leaving in the middle of the night for a mission, you instantly end things between the two of you because you know him better than he knows himself.

girl at home — oberyn martell

you know that oberyn has a wife, but you can’t help but give into his charms.

ronan — oberyn martell

the aftermath of oberyn’s departure from your life has been incredibly difficult for you to handle.

better man — javier peña

you cant help but wish that javier peña would change and be the better man you know he could be.

nothing new — pedro pascal

meeting pedro on the mandalorian set had been extremely exciting as it had been your first real role and it blossoms a friendship. however, as the years passes and your relationship with pedro grows your fortune and fame slow down you start to wonder if he’d still enjoy your presence you if you’re no longer shiny and new.

babe — javier peña

after breaking every promise he once eased your concerns for, you will not listen to a single excuse that he tries to make.

message in a bottle — javi gutierrez

after mutual pinning between you and javi begin to spike, the only way that you’re able to communicate it to the other is through passing of notes and stolen glances.

i bet you think about me — oberyn martell

living on a small farm, you’re shocked by the number of times you’ve ran into oberyn martell. he puts in more effort to know you than you’d expect from someone of such high status, and yet he is still succumbed to marrying another maiden.

forever winter — frankie morales

after coming back from the most traumatic experience of his life, he starts to feel utterly alone in his own melancholy. you find yourself unable to help him see the other side of things.

run — pedro pascal

the fame for the both of you have grown to be quite the trouble, and at a very important event he proposes to run away from everything. the paparazzi, the tabloids, the media … everything.

the very first night — javi gutierrez

after you and javi split up due to the dangerous of his life and how they may affect you, you can’t help but wish to return to his side.

taylor swift — 1989

welcome to new york — javi gutierrez

javi shows you around his hometown.

blank space — javier peña

as a new dea agent in a male dominated field, you prove to everyone around that you’re a force to be reckoned with — especially javier.

style — javier peña

all throughout high school, you and javier have been titled the most attractive couple. when javier left to achieve his dreams of becoming a dea agent, you’re forced to move on. though, you can’t experience the love that you shared with javier with anyone else. one day, you find javier standing on your doorstep.

out of the woods — joel miller

you have joel have been going through a rough patch in your relationship. the question rises that if you’re able to survive it?

all you had to do was stay — frankie morales

you rose an ultimatum for frankie to decide whether he would rather go off and return to his job, or stay by your side.

shake it off — javi gutierrez

you teach javi a way to cope with his cousins crude comments.

i wish you would — joel miller

your fathers best friend has always had a tight hold on your heart. after a violent fight on the phone, the both of you split apart and overtime you soak in the bath of missing him.

bad blood — oberyn martell

being apart of the lannister bloodline, you knew that oberyn loathed you from the first time he laid eyes upon you. throughout the years of seeing one another, you always tend to throw daggers at the others mental state.

wildest dreams — din djarin

being a princess hasn’t always been easy for you, especially when you’re in love with the head knight within your kingdom. when you are forced into an arranged marriage and he’s going off to fight in a war .. things get tricky.

how you get the girl — javier peña

javier peña screws up with you big time and had six months of pure torture to fully digest the severity of what he had put you though. one day he arrives at your doorstep asking for a second chance.

this love — joel miller

pre!outbreak joel instantly felt a spark between you two from the first time he saw you within the windows of a coffee shop. after the outbreak, you two were separated. minds filled with fear as to what happened to the other. until one day where you reunite.

i know places — agent whiskey

a secret love affair causes to meet in secluded areas where you can prove your devotion for the other without the consequences.

clean — frankie morales

after coming back from the high of his traumatic experience, he fell into an addiction with cocaine that seemed to be his only support. that was until you came into the picture and cheered on the sidelines as he fixed himself for him … and well, you.

wonderland — agent whiskey

the moment you and jack met, you were unable to not rush into things due to the infatuation you held for one another. you got completely lost in his presence. as fights and flaws surface, you wonder if these feelings you hold for him will be able to overcome all the other obstacles.

you are in love — din djarin

you meet the mandalorian within a small towns bar and one thing leads to another and you find yourself on a journey with him and developing feelings faster than space travel itself.

new romantics — din djarin

a joyful moment in your adventures with din and grogu.

taylor swift — reputation

… ready for it? — joel miller

within a bar you eye down joel who was the talk of the town. similar to you, everyone spoke of his rugged nature and temper. somehow, from across the bar and never meeting him you seem to connect with him on a spiritual level by one shared glance.

end game — pedro pascal

being the most talked about musical artist due to your extremely popular produced music and your heavily talented group of friends started off being extremely exhilarating. though, overtime the your reputation began to deteriorate due to the tabloids that stuck their pitchforks at you. eventually, you drifted away from the public eye to take a much needed break and that’s time period that you met pedro pascal who was gaining his attention within the media.

i did something bad — javier peña

going off of protocol in order to catch a narco with javier leads you both into some deep shit, even if you succeeded.

don’t blame me — oberyn martell

after an attempted assassination on you, oberyn tears down the entirety of his kingdom in order to find the rat that tried to take you from him.

delicate — javi gutierrez

your reputation within the town is questionably low for never talking with another. that’s the sole reason why you were shocked that another person held no disregard for you, and wanted to get to know the real you.

look what you made me do — joel miller

the outbreak caused a moral crisis with you and joel, and sometimes you just had to adjust to the cruel nature of the world.

so it goes … — javier peña

a private work love affair sparks between you and javier who have to keep everything between you two on the down low.

gorgeous — agent whiskey

after getting a little too drunk you were finally able to talk to jack (you’re long term crush that you watched from afar due to being too nervous), and a tension rises.

getaway car — joel miller

pov: running away from your past life with the thrilling new addition to it.

king of my heart — oberyn martell

you’ve always been on your own, and you were perfectly fine with it. that was until you began to be annoyed by the prince of doran who seems to take quite the interest in you.

dancing with our hands tied — javi gutierrez

as a result of your romance being completely secret, you and javi go through multiple close calls to your love being revealed.

dress — javier peña

a work event is underway, and you feel someone’s eyes trail you the entire night.

this is why we can’t have nice things — pedro pascal

you have always been known to host parties for all of your friends almost weekly (depending on your work schedule), and yet all of them turn their backs on you the moment the tabloids blatantly lie. all but one person, pedro.

call it what you want — pedro pascal

when your reputation falters, you run away into a private haze with your lover.

new year’s day — pedro pascal

hosting a new year’s eve party has never felt so bittersweet before.

taylor swift — lover

i forgot that you existed — javier peña

feeling as if the entire office is watching your every move, javier peña comes into your life to try and ease it.

cruel summer — javier peña

one summer night you were invited to a anniversary party of one of your friends, and you begin to realize the suffocating feelings you experience around your childhood best friend, javier peña.

lover — pedro pascal

after mutual back and forth pining with the obstacle that is fear of rejection, you and pedro find comfort within each others presence. later on, you’re proud to call him yours.

the man — javier peña

being in a male dominated field you come across multiple misogynistic comments which get the point that they want you to quit clear. you bite back, and only one person stands by your side.

the archer — joel miller

you knew how guarded joel was when you first met him and noticed his attacking stances. when you try to get closer to him, his spikes come out to push you away.

i think he knows — frankie morales

meeting your brothers best friend didn’t cross your mind to be a big deal … that was until you actually met him.

miss americana & the heartbreak prince — oberyn martell

the public doesn’t seem to like your relationship with oberyn and began to throw their tantrums about such an arrangement. however, if it’s you and him against the world then so be it.

paper rings — javi gutierrez

what more can i say than you want to marry him with paper rings?

corneila street — frankie morales

the first meeting you and frankie had ended up in a taxi and casually talking and mindlessly exchanging numbers. you never would’ve expected him to become such a major part of who you are, and the thought of losing him makes you physically ill.

death by a thousand cuts — joel miller

you didn’t let anyone in on the details of your love with joel. yet, that all backfires on you when you two split apart and your left to talk to the traffic lights about your greatest loss.

london boy — agent whiskey

you knew you were infected when you first laid eyes upon the cowboy and hear that childish laughter of his.

false god — javier peña

unwillingly being apart of the cartel, your undying love with a dea agent was absolutely insane and suicide if you were found out. however, you cant stop yourself from diving into your desires for him.

you need to calm down — pedro pascal

the reaction of the entire the last of us cast to the public’s reaction to the LGBTQ+ themes within the show.

afterglow — javi gutierrez

insecurities cause you to become wary in your first stable relationship. you look for mistakes that aren’t truly there and hurt the one you love most.

me! — agent whiskey

nobody is like you, and nobody is like your cowboy side piece.

it’s nice to have a friend — din djarin

you finally let’s someone into your life, letting down your walls. as much as you two were guarded, it’s nice to have a ‘friend’.

daylight — pedro pascal

you meet pedro on the set of the unbearable weight of massive talent, and unknowingly to you he’s a huge fan of all your films. soon enough, he’s mended to your hip and you’re casted in multiple films together as well as groups of people you hang out with.

taylor swift — folklore

the one — frankie morales

your pen pal, frankie morales, has been writing to you about his time in service. you write back and show him your support from a distance. as time goes on, the writing back and forth isn’t enough for him so he asked to meet up which you obliged. a romance starts and then finalizes when frankie succumbs to his previous nature once more, leaving you astray with the memory of him and abandoned letters.

cardigan — joel miller

as much as you knew joel like the back of your hand, he has always been afraid of commitment which leads to you having a friends with benefits type of relationship. one day, something in him changes and you notice straight away: he’s softer around you. that .. that terrifies him and sends him running away, leaving you all alone in the terrifying world.

the last great american dynasty — pedro pascal

the public’s opinion has always meant the world to you. you thrived on those good comments, those words of approval whenever you showcased an outfit or movie. the eyes of others made you feel worth it. the moment all of that comes crashing down, everything you built being burnt by lies, you crash and burn just as fast. you leave — disappear almost, and only pedro cares enough to check in on you.

exile — javier peña

since you and javier broke up, you have made it a point to move on .. to be happy without him beside you. it was challenging, but not seeing him everyday kade it much easier to push aside memories and focusing on someone new. however, the moment you see him in the brightly lit club, you cant push back the memories anymore.

my tears ricochet — din djarin

being a refugee princess, din takes it upon himself (and by being persuaded with your fathers money.) to take you away and protect you. though, that becomes much more of a struggle than he believed it were to be.

mirrorball — oberyn martell

oberyn has slept with everyone under the moon … everyone but you. you don’t understand why due to the fact that you two have become extremely close over the past few months. he hasn’t ever offered to take you to his chambers, only ever dinners and to spend time with one another. all the signs point to you that he is into you, but yet he doesn’t make a move.

seven — javi gutierrez

your childhood best friend has always been an enthusiastic soul. he beams like the sunshine, and yet you feel as if you’re the cloudy skies that ruin everyone’s days. he wants to tell you how much he adores you, but the words seems to be caught on his tongue.

august — frankie morales

due to your and frankie’s undying despise for one another, benny had proposed a bet that you both couldn’t act like you tolerated each other for a month straight. if you were to win, he’d give you concert tickets to both of your favorite singers, and if he won he’d receive $200 each.

this is me trying — frankie morales

you and frankie go off on a road trip together and the time alone brings along new coming feelings for one another. the only downside is that frankie is a mess and doesn’t know who he is while you already got everything figured out.

illicit affairs — joel miller

after a simple blind date that was conjured up by your peers, you and joel both have different perspectives on your newly founded connection. joel believes that it’s just a fling due to his tendency to push people away while you think it’s fate and he’s the love of your life.

invisible string — oberyn martell

if oberyn were to become king, he’d need a shiny, good looking side piece. that role was forced over to you by the hands of your father. even if you didn’t like or even KNOW him, you had to obey your fathers conditions. you didn’t have to talk to him, like him, or suck up to him, it’s all just for show … right?

mad woman — agent whiskey

after unexpectedly bumping into jack at a mutual friends wedding, you two communicated back and forth the entire time due to not knowing anyone else. at the end, you exchange numbers. as you both climb up the pyramid of one another’s hearts, it’s a stab in the chest to find out he’s been off fooling around with another woman.

betty — javier peña

coming back home from the hostile environment which columbia had provided him, he’s anxious that he’ll be spotted by his high school lover. it’s not that you two ended on bad terms, it’s just that he had betrayed you and wasn’t able to forgive himself. so, from afar he supports and looks out for you, whether that is with a boxed up poncho on a rainy day or your favorite chocolate that mysterious ends up on your doorstep.

peace — joel miller

during the pre!outbreak, you and joel had dropped off your kids every day at the same daycare. you never took much notice of him, but he did. one day, you accidentally bump into him and your coffee splatters all over his shirt which completely ruins it. then, outbreak happens and you two run into each other when all is chaos. that day .. you’ll never forget it.

hoax — javier peña

going up against javier in court is rough, and you constantly have to sneak through the cracks to keep him on his toes. not only that is it rough because of that, but you’re also in a private fling with him. the moment you sense infidelity, you take this case to a personal level and go for his throat.

the lakes — pedro pascal

being at the peak of both of your careers it is extremely difficult to find a moment to yourself, even more so with other people without any cameras being targeted onto you at all times. your beloved costar, pedro pascal, is experiencing the same type of harassment from the media. whenever you two get a moment alone the cameras begin to flash, separating you both into your own worlds of fame.

taylor swift — evermore

willow — oberyn martell

as a prince, oberyn shouldn’t ever be seen with the less fortunate. he should surround himself with the most luscious living styles. however, he can’t help but fall into the arms of his gardener whenever he needs a break from his suffocating life.

champagne problems — javi gutierrez

you never believed that being in love was anything that you could achieve. not that it wasn’t real, but it just wasn’t for you. javi tries everything in his power to make you see that love is for anyone especially you.

gold rush — javier peña

living in an apartment in columbia, your life has always been extremely stressful. after researching ways to ease this built up tension within you, you decide to get a puppy. the untrained pet tears up your neighbors flowers, and that was the moment you met the breathtakingly handsome javier peña.

‘tis the damn season — javier peña

you’ve always had this attraction for javier, even with all of his blatant flaws you cannot help yourself by indulging in him whenever he magically appears within his hometown. without being in contact for so long, you know that his first stop is always you whenever he’s near.

tolerate it — joel miller

you have always been a hit on the softer side. you tend to give your everything into someone as you pour all of you out into small acts of gratitude. when you meet joel, you see right through his walls and you try everything in your power to make him feel your admiration which causes you to realize that you had underestimated his ability to guard himself and not show any emotion.

no body, no crime — agent whiskey

after being locked in a loveless marriage that’s filled with infidelity and neglect, jack and your best friend este takes it upon himself to free you from your hellhole. if he can’t have you, nobody can .. especially your ex husband.

happiness — frankie morales

due to your job as a secret nurse for the injured soldiers that make their way into your care, you inevitably meet frankie. he reluctantly spends quite a few weeks in your care, and during that time he tries to build up his courage to ask you out. when his time comes to an end .. will he be able to get the words off his tongue?

dorothea — javi gutierrez

you and javi have always been best friends, even when you two were crawling around on the ground absentmindedly there has always been a certain sense of mutual admiration. you were always there for him, visa versa. when you grow up, you become well known through your singing career and him his fathers buisness. however, the only difference is you move away from home due to your parents and he stays back.

coney island — frankie morales

frankie and you have always been complete opposites since the day you met him. your brothers, william and ben miller, have always been super protective of you and kept you away from the tragedies that occurred abroad while you stayed and finished your studies to become a therapist. while you’re open about your feelings, frankie isn’t. while your comfortable within your own skin, frankie isn’t. while you’re content within your direction of life, frankie absolutely isn’t. over time, you two develop some sort of connection between one another that cannot be denied and the opposing traits within your lives may or may not crumble you to the ground.

ivy — oberyn martell

being wedded to another man who treated you poorly has always been your worst regret; however, there’s nothing you can do about it due to the fact that it was arranged in order to keep peace throughout the kingdoms. your heart has always been oberyn’s to hold, and he’s well aware of that. to keep your family name in tact as well as taking charge of your own happiness, you and oberyn have a secret love affair that consists of alleyway talks, walks within the flower-filled valleys, and sending of letters.

cowboy like me — agent whiskey

after unknowingly dropping your wallet, jack picks it up and ensures that it returns back to your side. when you do get it back, you sense a particular type of connection that binds you two together as if you’re similar to him in a way. you’re guarded, always have been, always will be and perhaps so is he. will either of you ever be able to let down those walls that you hold dear?

long story short — din djarin

being one of the most reliable bounty hunters, he takes on one that is worth more than he’s ever been paid prior. however, this catch has taken the title of being one of his greatest catches and gives him quite the hard time. over time, his frustration slowly turns into admiration of her quick thinking skills.

closure — javier peña

as the ambassadors daughter, you hold a high regard around the office as you come just to help out the helpless workers around. you knew how hard they work and you admire that about them. javier, however, is the only one on your bad side due to his lacking of personal space towards women in the workplace. steve and you are close. in all honesty you’re best friends and you’ll sign him whatever paper work he may need since you have that authority within the work place. javier keeps his eyes on you, intrigued by you over all aura. even long after you leave to branch out elsewhere, he still sends you letters updating you on everything.

evermore — joel miller

after his first love, he never thought that he’d ever find another chance. the older he got, the more hope died out. when he first met you, you were a simple librarian who took on a motherly role to sarah who loved to listen while you read to her. she honestly just loved being in your warm presence that seemed to affect joel in some way as well. even though you may seem as if you have everything together, you’re just as much of a mess as joel is and you don’t exactly know how to express that to him.

right where you left me — javier peña

to catch a cartel member, you and your obnoxious partner, javier, have planned out to go undercover as a married couple to inch closer to the target. even if you loathe him, the closeness between you two during these times have began to soak into your heart which is dangerous since all this is and ever will be is acting.

it’s time to go — oberyn martell

after being forced to marry oberyn, you gave you all into making sure his life was perfect the moment he stepped foot into the castle. you prepared every meal with precise instructions after knowing his favorite meals, and set the table beautifully every time he sat down. though, even with all that you were doing for him he still found pleasure in other people. even after all you’ve done, he continued to treat you like a ghost and you finally have enough of it.

taylor swift — midnights

lavender haze — agent whiskey

the moment you met jack, it was magical. as if like sparks flew instantly which swarmed you two. however, being the head of secret agency’s daughter .. there was a lot which could split you two apart for good. you’re the first thing that made sense and brought out a passion in him since his first love — his high school sweetheart.

maroon — joel miller

being the pretty little thing next door to joel, it was only inevitable that you two had formed a bond within the grey area of romance and friendship. you two had increasingly contrast and difficult problems that only caused you two to split apart. two soulmates that met at the wrong period within their lives.

anti-hero — din djarin

having a difficult time processing the fact that someone like you — or anyone for that matter, could ever truly love him without seeing his face. so, he pushes you away. he wants you to leave, but couldn’t handle it if you left. he’s slowly learning how to love. more importantly, how to love himself.

snow on the beach — din djarin

taking on the position as nanny for grogu within their newly founded house as din goes off to collect bounties had struck up some mutual interest within both parties. you couldn’t help but wonder through stolen moments of this unknown and unstated tension between you if he truly wanted something more from you or just for you to watch the kid you truly enjoyed being with.

you’re on your own, kid — frankie morale

being the new girl in town has caused a lot of talk to spread around about you. you had moved here after your father had virtually kicked you out after years of putting up with his bullshit. you were on your own, and then all of a sudden you bumped into frankie who was equally as fucked up as you were. you both devoured within the broken pieces of the other, as if you found some comfort knowing that you’re not the only one who sees the world as a abyss of only suffering. sadly, you tend to break off the remaining healed bones that the other has.

midnight rain — javi gutierrez

arriving in javi’s hometown, you were a undercover agent to seek out his dirty secrets about his family. you never expected to fall so fast for him and his sunshine light; however, that’s exactly why you left him broken-hearted in the rain as he had been left watching your disappearing figure on one knee. he should’ve know that your worst fear of all really was commitment.

question …? — javier peña

being the ambassadors daughter, you were always considered a ‘good girl’. you were innocent, kept away from all the dangers of the world and flushed into the world of books and fantasy that gave you a taste of the type of affection which you craved for. your best friend since arriving at the headquarters, steve, had always been tied at your hips which resulted in your inescapable meeting with javier who would ruin your entire life for the better AND worse. your world completely flipped after looking into those dark eyes which were always filled with an indescribable emotion.

vigilante shit — oberyn martell

after the lannisters had killed off your brother, you and oberyn team up as an indescribably attractive and dangerous duo. the power which you both held together was a high you never wanted to come down from, and frankly, neither did he. he flushed himself within your demeanor, and never wanted to come out from those depths that only you could put him through. you both take the revenge which you desperately craved for, as well as a dip into each other.

bejeweled — din djarin

after a small fight with din over your contrast personalities, you decide that you needed a night out to get this built up tension off your shoulders. going to a club, all shimmery and glamoured up, may become your worst nightmare as you notice din had come to follow you. from the shadows, he closely analyzed you as you continued to party and dance like nothing he has ever seen before. in that moment, he realized how much he was lucky to have you alongside him. you both brought out things in each other which you couldn’t imagine without them.

labyrinth — joel miller

after his wife left him with sarah, he was terrified to raise a child all alone. the pain overtook him. he didn’t think he could ever do such a thing no matter how hard he tried — without his wife, no matter how difficult she was, he felt completely incompetent. the cries of a baby and anxious clattering on the porch brought you to look over the fence to take in your neighbor’s panicked state. without a second thought, you jumped into action and helped him. that was a moment he felt the first wave of affection directed towards only you.

karma — din djarin

being a heavily leveraged princess that had multiple admires and enemies, your father had bought a certain mandalorians protection to keep you safe. little did he know that you and that mandalorian named din, would ever develop a secret relationship. he was your bodyguard that would completely demolish anyone which stood in your path by the snap of your fingers.

sweet nothing — pedro pascal

being a middle class person who had a decent job, decent house, and decent clothes; you were walking back to your small apartment in the streets of new york. you didn’t notice someone walking past you and you accidentally slammed into them. you weren’t on social media due to your personal mental health and how much it affected you, so you didn’t know that you had bumped into pedro pascal. you quickly apologized, and left without another word which caught him off guard by not being recognized. you started seeing him everywhere, which slowly developed into something more. you wanted absolutely nothing from him, and it was so sweet.

mastermind — din djarin

the moment that you noticed din within a small farmers market down town, it was only because he had accidentally bumped into your hand when trying to grab a fruit for grogu. you softly smiled at him and apologized, taking in his shiny appearance. you couldn’t tell that his mouth was completely agape, and he had already been planning of a thousand different ways to make you love him and make it seem completely effortless.

the great war — javier peña

during the battle between the cartel, a secret relationship was the last thing you needed on your plate; yet, low and behold javier peña had forced himself into your guarded heart, and yours into his. you both held up walls so high which continuously blocked each other out more than shields did to protect the living from bullets. the war between the cartel, your lacking to commit to javier, and his informants, brought too much pain and suffering to the both of you. if he’d ever survived this horrid patch with you still standing beside him, he swore that he’d bend down on one knee and propose to you.

bigger than the whole sky — joel miller

being joel’s longterm friend, he was appalled to hear that you had been holding back announcing your engagement to him. he never liked your partner due to the fact that he never treated you exactly how you deserved. you and him held this certain attitude towards the other that you only could receive once in your entire life; yet, you both continuously made a point to stay within this grey area towards one another. you both feared rejection terribly, being — meaning too much to the other to ever risk losing that. so, joel sucks everything he feels for you up, and watches you as you walk down the aisle with a solem look of pure disappointment.

paris — pedro pascal

after getting increasingly tired of your ‘friends’ who consistently gossip about everyone under the sun, you decide to drift into one of the balconies in paris. your eyes soon met the darker ones held by pedro pascal on the other buildings balcony that faced yours. who knew that in later dates you would be running down the streets of paris alongside him getting drunk within the abyss that only consisted of him.

high infidelity — javier peña

“just one minute”, was the phrase that you and javier had engrained into your souls. that was until you found out that after all the time you spent together you were his mistress. you continue to love him from a distance, making choices for the benefit of him without his input.

glitch — frankie morales

after a one night stand, which was only suppose to be a ONE night stand, you keep on meeting frankie in the most awkward times. the more you spend with him, the more attractive he gets — the more you want to know him not only physically, but more deeply … mentally. you didn’t care about the level ugliness in him. you could only see the man who has been nothing but an agent to you.

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve — javier peña

being considered a ‘sweet, innocent, good girl’ amongst the entire town which resided in texas was the first thing javier heard about you. you were on top of church meetings, you baked cookies for kids every wednesday, you took it upon yourself to do community work which nobody else would do, but most importantly .. you helped out his father all the time. due to his old age, he couldn’t do a lot of housework and being his neighbor you were more than willing to assist him. javier was the complete opposite of you, and that only brought you to be more interested in him. however, all of that would fade when he brutally took every piece of your innocence and completely left you to return to the battle against the cartel.

dear reader — joel miller

being a student of professor joel miller, you took extra sessions that he offered in order to get a better knowledge about his lessons. in all honesty, you began to go to him for life advice and he would assist you. though, the more time you spent together … the more time you started to analyze him. you managed to squeeze your way through into his aching heart and see the real side of him. the one that goes to an emptily home and drink his way to sleep, the one that you would make everything better by just being by his side for support.

hits different — pedro pascal

after a critical breakup between you and pedro, you were left broken hearted. it took a bigger tole on you than you thought it was going to. you got more drunk at the private bars than you ever thought you’d do. the public opinion was just as heartbroken as you since they cherished you two together more than anyone else. you were voted as most loved public couple and now that just seemed to be its own joke every time you looked at the award within your apartment. you soak yourself within the feeling of disappointment. then, you heard a familiar key turning down in the hallway and you immediately perk up at the thought of the ‘what if?’ question.

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navalcriminalimagines · 3 years

Text

Better than me

This is my very first Joel Miller x Reader work. And I completely got carried away. I may do a series, if you guys like it? Joel deserves all the love in the world 🥺Please, let me know what you think!

Summary: You live across the street from Joel. Every night, you watch him play the guitar on his porch and one night, you find the courage to go out and talk to him.

Songs: Future days ; Better than me

Warnings: Smut, oral, p in v, creampie, unprotected sex, a bit of roughness

Words count: 5k

Jackson, Wyoming

Just like every night, your neighbor Joel Miller was sitting on his porch, playing his guitar. Just like every night, you stood by your window, listening to whatever he’s playing, tonight he settled on ‘Future days’. You remembered this song from a long time ago. And just like every night, you hoped you’d find the courage to go out and talk to him.

But you never really talked to him. You crossed paths every now and then, barely exchanging two sentences. It’s way much easier to talk with Ellie, the teenager living with him. One day, you were actually talking with Ellie inside the house and when he got home, you found a stupid excuse and disappeared pretty quickly.

You haven’t been able to find the courage to talk to him. Until that night. It was 2am, and you could still hear him play. He was trying to be silent, even though that’s not really possible. You quickly checked yourself in the shitty small mirror of your bathroom and got out of your house. Joel noticed you only when you were standing right in front of him.

“Hey, Y/N. I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” he gently asked.

“Nah, don’t worry. Couldn’t sleep,” you waved off. “Thought I’d enjoy the music from closer,” you were thankfully it was dark outside, so he couldn’t see you profusely blushing.

“Take a seat,” he offered, showing off the chair next to him. “I’m not sure we’ve ever been properly introduced?” he said, after you settled next to him.

“Yeah, me neither,” you smiled. “Y/N Y/L/N, I’m from Nevada, I’ve been in Jackson for a few months and well-- what else can we say?”

He chuckled. “Fair. Joel Miller,” he said, extending his hand to you over his guitar and you shook it. “I’m from Texas. And I play the guitar,”

“Noticed. You actually have been my personal radio for the past months,”

“As long as you enjoy it. Do you play?”

“Unfortunately not. I used to play violin though,” you confessed. “Long time ago,”

“I wish I could find one, just to hear you play,”

That night, most of the conversation turned around music and instruments. You were a teenager when the virus appeared, and you were a music junkie. You didn’t know why but you confessed to Joel that your dream was to be a rockstar and tour all around the world with a band. He told you about his favorite artists back then, and how he started to play the guitar. He confessed about writing songs when the inspiration hits. Which hasn’t for a while.

The next day, you happily joined him again. This time, you talked less about music and more about yourselves. Joel told you about Ellie, how he met her and how that teenager made her way to his heart. For a moment, he considered telling you about Sarah, but what would be the point? You don’t know each other enough, and he didn’t want to look like the man stuck twenty years prior. Even if you all are, somehow. You told him about your family, that you lost a while ago and how you ended up here in Jackson.

For weeks, meeting Joel on his porch became a thing. You were there almost every night, even when there were some sorts of events in town. You enjoyed his company way more than you should and so did he. But neither of you would say so. Some nights, he didn’t even pick up his guitar, it was just you and him, right there, talking. Falling.

One night, Joel’s heart rushed into his chest as he saw you walking with a limp, up to your house. He put his guitar down and jogged to you, right before you slammed your front door. “Y/N, are you okay?” he asked, clearly worried.

“Huh, yeah, yeah. My knee didn’t appreciate today’s patrol,” you told him, motioning him to join inside your house.

“Were you attacked or something?” he asked, watching you collapsing on your couch.

“No, no, nothing like that. I’m just a klutz,” you tiredly giggled. Joel wanted to laugh too but he was still very worried. He grabbed a pillow and gently lifted your leg to put it under.

“I’ll be right back in ten minutes, okay?”

You didn’t have time to overthink. Joel left your house in a rush and true to his words, he came back ten minutes later with something in his hand. You hadn’t moved a bit, and you watched him approaching. What he had in his hands was ice. “Do you mind if I bounce back your pants?” he asked and you nodded.

Ever so gently, Joel freed your injured knee and put the ice on it. You hissed at the cold and thanked him anyway. “I’m gonna let you rest,”

You didn’t want him to leave. Not just yet. “You know, the pain will probably keep me awake for a while. I wouldn’t mind a private concert by my favorite guitarist,”

Joel chuckled at that, trying to avoid how it made his heart melt. “Fine. I’ll be right back,”

That night, Joel played ‘Future days’ over and over after you asked him to. He kept playing and singing until you fell asleep next to him.

It took a few weeks for your knee to heal, during which Joel had been nothing but an angel. He was over your house every day, checking on your knee to make sure it was properly healing. He made sure you have enough ice and he brought your meals to prevent you from going to the self. Even while being on a patrol, he found a way to have your meals being brought to you.

“Must be nice to be Joel Miller’s favorite,” Jesse joked as you opened the door. He was holding your dinner in one hand and some ice in the other. “God I wish someone would home delivered for me,”

You let your friend in, and settled back on your couch with your leg up. “I can injure your knee for you,” you offered with a grin.

“Wouldn’t work. I’m not cute enough to get Joel’s attention,”

“Shut up!”

Jesse sat next to you. “His guitar’s here. Is he living here? Oh my god, are you guys dating?”

“No! We’re just friends,” you explained. “We just share the same love of music. So, yes, he does come here and plays,”

“Wow, you really think I’m gonna buy this?” Jesse raised an eyebrow at you.

“Jesse, I swear. Nothing is happening between me and Joel,”

“But you wished,”

“Just leave already.” you retorted.

“Y/N, be careful, okay? The man is broken,”

“Yeah, so?”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,”

“Right. Cause you surely stopped loving Dina when you found that she was a lesbian!”

“I’m just saying, Y/N.”

“Thanks for the home delivery,” you don’t want a cold to stand between you and Jesse, “If I had money, I’d tip you,” you smiled at him.

“You know, you could pay me in nature,”

While that sentence made you laugh, Joel didn’t have the same reaction. He was standing right behind Jesse, his arms crossed over his chest. Your friend didn’t see him at first, still waiting for you to say something, “Hi, Joel,” you said, embarrassed.

Jesse didn’t turn around immediately. He knew Joel would kill him if he could. “I’m just gonna go and avoid your eyes, Joel,” he said, leaving the house in a rush, his face buried deep in his shoulders.

“Good call,” Joel muttered.

“It was just a joke,” you said as soon as you heard the door closing.

“I wouldn’t be sure about that, Y/N. He was just waiting for you to say yes,” Joel was still standing with his arms crossed.

“So, what if I agreed?” you teased him, hoping it would make things move forward a little. But it didn’t.

“Do you want me to call him back? He isn’t far, yet,”

“Just come here and give me my hug, would you?”

Joel’s anger - and obvious jealousy - evaporated as soon as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He isn’t much of a hugger, but you are and you managed to make him addicted to your hugs. He loves being intoxicated by your scent, he loves how you hold him tight, he loves how your fingers always find their way to the small hair in the back of his head. And you love how he buries his head in your back, how his strong arms wrap you so perfectly, how his hands sometimes grab your clothes in a fist.

A few weeks later

Your knee was completely healed and you were back on patrols. Things were moving in Jackson and you and Joel spent less late nights together. You were missing him and he was missing you.

One night, a ball was being held. Everyone here needed that every now and then to cheer up and have some good time. Jesse, Dina and Ellie convinced you to come. You did and as predicted, you spent the entire night waiting for Joel to appear, but he never did.

You were walking back to your house around 3 in the morning. As you approached your street, you could hear the music. Instead of going home, you stopped in front of Joel’s porch. “You said you’d come,” you told him.

“I know, I shouldn’t have. Those aren’t my thing,” he apologized. “Are you mad?”

“No,” you said, lying just a little and sitting next to him. “Just disappointed. It was really nice,”

“No doubt. I’m sorry,”

“I’ll accept your apology with you show me how to play,”

Joel chuckled and handed you his guitar. Then, he moved his chair closer to yours. His chest was literally against your back, his face a few inches from yours. You tried to focus on the instrument, but he made it really hard as his hand covered yours in order to show you where to put your fingers. He started with the easiest chord, E.

As you played violin, it wasn’t completely new to you. But you’d have played dumb if needed, as long as he stayed right where he was. When E sounded good, Joel turned his face to the side to look at you. You were already staring. His lips were so close to yours, you could feel his hot breath on your skin. His eyes went from your eyes to your lips, from your lips to your eyes.

It was now or never. You took your shot and crashed your lips on his. Thankfully, he eagerly responded to your kiss. One of his hands moved to your neck, his beard was gently tickling your skin and he parted his lips, letting his tongue out. You happily welcomed his tongue into your mouth and moaned. The kiss was passionate and intense, Joel couldn’t get you close enough to his liking.

But eventually, he broke it off. You whined, and when you opened your eyes again, you couldn’t see it caused him physical pain to break the kiss. “Don’t you want—“ you start to say.

“I do,” he cut you off. “God, how I do,” his nose was brushing against yours, his hand still in your neck.

“Then why aren’t lips on mine anymore?” You gently nipped his bottom lip and that made him chuckle.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” He had to ask.

“Fuck, Joel. I’ve been simping over you for ages,”

“Simping?”

“Right, sorry I forgot how old you are,” you rolled your eyes.

“I’m gonna show you how old I am, babygirl,” he groaned.

In a flash, Joel grabbed his guitar and your wrist. You’re actually not sure which one he was holding the softest. He put the guitar in the living room and took you to his bedroom. As soon as he kicked the door shut, he spinned you around, holding you against the door and his lips crashed on yours, roughly.

He didn’t kiss you long enough, though. He quickly drifted south, and assaulted your neck. You moaned in his hair, and you could feel the obvious bulge in his jeans against your thighs. His hands traveled under your top and you tried to palm his erection, but he immediately stopped you.

Joel grabbed your wrists into his hand and pinned them above your head. He just stared for a moment. Stared at your swollen lips, at the marks he already made in your neck and in your eyes. You were looking at him with both killing desire and love. It confused him for a brief second but he shut his brain and kissed you again.

You were desperate to touch him, undress him, feel him. But he was strongly holding your hands, all you could was grinding your center against his thigh. “So needy,” he whispered in your ear before nipping the lobe. You swallowed thickly and let out a loud moan.

“Yes, I need you Joel. Please,” you begged him. When was the last time someone beg for him?

“It’s been such a long time, I probably won’t last,” he breathed out, shamefully.

“We have a lifetime ahead of us, who cares,”

That sentence didn’t have the impact you were shooting for. In a second, you were completely free from Joel’s grip as he took a big step back. He was panting. “That’s not—“ he whispered, trying to put his thoughts into words.

“Aw baby, did you already come?” you teased him.

“That was a close call, but that’s not my point, Y/N,” you could see he was getting angry. But why? At who?

You took a step forward, your hands tenderly cupping his bearded cheeks. “Then what is your point?” you asked, genuinely concerned.

“This—is a bad idea,” Joel struggled. He leaned into your touch but frowned as he knew he couldn’t enjoy it too much. “You—you should leave,” he wrapped his hands around your wrists, forcing you to let go of his face.

“Not until you give me one good reason, Joel.” Now, you were getting angry. Hurt. Frustrated. All of that.

“You deserve better—“ he whispered. “Better than me,”

“That’s not a good—“

“That’s good enough for me. Please, Y/N.” He begged you, pain clearly written all over his face.

“You’re making a big mistake, you know that?” Joel heard your voice cracking and you had barely finished your sentence, that his thumb was softly brushing your lips.

“That’s my jam,” he sadly tried to joke.

You have no idea what happened in his mind in a brief period of time but for whatever reason, Joel wanted you to leave. He had changed his mind and you’re not the kind of person to force people. If he doesn’t want you like this, if he doesn’t want you around him, you’ll let him be.

You left his house. Leaving you both broken-hearted.

A year later

Avoiding someone in Jackson isn’t an easy task, but somehow, Joel managed to do it pretty well. He always disappeared when you showed up, no matter where it was. He managed to never stare at you from afar when you were definitely staring. The only moment you could’ve walked to him and asked for explanations was at night, as he kept playing the guitar and all of those songs you kept talking about. But he asked you to leave and never apologized. Why would you be the one to make the first move?

As Joel checked his next patrol, he noticed he’s set on a patrol with you the very next day. Completely pissed off, he bursted into Tommy’s office and slammed the door behind. He planted his fists on the desk and stared at his younger brother. “Why the hell am I teaming with Y/N for tomorrow’s patrol?” he barked.

“What’s wrong with her?” Tommy asked, genuinely curious as to why Joel was that mad.

“Nothing,” he said, raising his hands defensively. “I just don’t want to team up with her,”

“I’ll consider making some changes, if you give me a good reason,” Tommy stood up and got closer to Joel.

“I--I almost had sex with her,”

“Almost? Couldn’t get through with it, brother?” Tommy teased him.

Before answering, Joel threw himself on the worn out couch and Tommy sat on the armbar, waiting for explanations. “We were--at it. But I had to stop,” Joel admitted, growling at himself.

“Couldn’t get it up?”

“Tommy, fuck off,”

“I honestly don’t understand how in the world you couldn’t have sex with one of the most beautiful women in Jackson,”

“Cause-- she deserves better than this. Better than me,”

“Bullshit!” Tommy shouted.

“Listen, I’m an old grumpy and lonely guy--” Joel trailed off.

“Cut the crap, bro. I’ve always wondered what her deal was, since she’s turning down all the guys around, but now it makes sense. She clearly wants you,”

“She shouldn’t,”

“Don’t you think that’s on her to decide? So, please, get the hell out of my office, go on that patrol with her tomorrow and take things back where you left them,”

“You’re the worst brother ever,” Joel rolled his eyes.

“I know. I want my brother to get laid, how horrible of me,” Tommy sarcastically answered, before giving his brother a tap in his back.

The next day came way too fast for Joel.

He was late and people were pressing you to do the patrol. You took the two horses with you and walked up to his house. You knocked and let yourself in immediately, “Joel, you’re late,” you called out for him, “I know you don’t want to spend the day with me but we don’t have a choice,” you spoke loudly, not knowing where he was. As you walked to the kitchen, you saw Ellie packing her bag. “Oh, hey El!” you greeted her, hoping you weren’t blushing.

She smiled at you. “Joel’s in the bathroom. He should be down in a minute,” she told you before walking out. “He brought some coffee. Help yourself,”

“Oh, nice!”

Upstairs, Joel couldn’t decide what to wear. Why did it matter anyway? Why did he want to look...good for you? He didn’t have much clothes and all of them were used and dirty. But he settled for his green shirt, as he remembered you telling him it looked good on him. He checked his hair and beard one more time, he even checked his breath before cursing to himself. And he joined you downstairs.

You poured yourself a cup of coffee in Joel’s used mug and started to look around, waiting for him. You hadn’t been there in a year, you hadn’t even approached the porch. You missed this, you missed Joel.

A paper on the coffee table grabbed your attention. You took it in your hand and started to read what was on it, but you heard Joel’s footsteps coming down. You only had a glimpse of it

“The bed I'm lying in is getting colder

Wish I never would've said it's over

And I can't pretend

I won't think about you when I'm older

'Cause we never really had our closure

This can't be the end

I really miss your hair in my face

And the way your innocence tastes

And I think you should know this

You deserve much better than me”

You recognized Joel’s handwriting. This really sounded like a song, but no time to analyze it, as he took the paper from your hand and folded it in his back pocket. “Is that a song?” You asked.

“Really don’t want to talk about it. Let’s go,”

“Haven’t finished my coff—“ you didn’t have time to finish either your sentence or your coffee. Joel grabbed the mug from your hand and drank the rest of the brown liquor.

“There. Finished.”

“Wow, it’s gonna be a long day,” you mumbled in your teeth as you were walking out.

“What?” Joel asked from behind.

“It’s gonna be a wonderful day!” You sarcastically exclaimed.

It was indeed a long day. You and Joel barely talked, only exchanging about your ride of the day. You tried your best not to look much at him, but it was hard as he was looking this good with his green shirt. The worst was when he rolled up his sleeves, showing off his strong and veiny forearms.

On the other hand, Joel spent the entire day looking at you. Most of the time, you were riding the horse in front of him. He had a perfect view on your ass and he loved how it bounced. You were wearing an old tank top, letting him see your tattoo on your shoulder. He wanted to press his lips against your skin again. He missed you like hell.

“Are you mad at me, Y/N?” he asked, while the two of you had gone down from the horses. You turned around to face him.

“Mad?” you sounded angry but somehow, your body language and the sadness on your face said otherwise. “No, I’m just--lost. I still don’t understand, Joel.” you shrugged. There was something in your expression, on your face, that broke his heart all over again.

“I told you.” he just answered.

“Well okay, let’s say that it doesn’t make sense to me,” you corrected yourself, “We spent so much time together, and every second was amazing. Then we kissed and--you took me inside your house, you pinned me against your door, I thought it was going really well and all of the sudden, you backed off. And--and you spent the past year avoiding me, but somehow, you still play your fucking guitar on your porch, knowing that I can hear you. Hell, you spend a serious amount of time playing ‘Future days’— and what you wrote—”

You hadn’t realized you were rambling until his lips crashed into yours. Rough but tender at the same time, his beard tickled your nose. He was holding your face in his hands, making you as close as possible to him. It stayed a chaste kiss until he pulled back. “And now you’re kissing me again,” you said, a bit shaken in a beautiful way.

“I just wanted you to shut up,” he smirked.

“Please, make some sense, Joel,” you pleaded him. “Because I really don’t understand and it prevents me from moving on,” you paused, “Not that I actually want to move on,”

“You never shut up, do you?”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t stop kissing me,”

Back at your house

This past year was long forgotten when you and Joel reached your house. You locked your door behind and basically ran to your bedroom, taking him with you. You were so fast, Joel almost tripped in the stairs. Once in your bedroom, you threw him on your bed and straddled him. You were not going to let him escape this time.

You crashed your lips on his, and you kissed him feverishly. You never unbuttoned a shirt this fast in your life. Joel’s hands got under your tank top and quickly got rid of it, along with your bra. Joel cupped one of your breasts in his hand and brought his mouth to the other. He played with your nipples for a moment, while you freed him from his jeans and boxers. You stroked him a few times, feeling some precum on your fingers. Joel let out the biggest moan he ever had. It’s been so long. So fucking long, he couldn’t stand the foreplay, “I need to be inside you, sweetheart. Like, right now,” he growled.

You got off his lap just to take your pants and panties off. Joel’s eyes darken at the sight of your naked body. He could’ve come just from the sight.

You pushed his shoulders so he was completely laying on the bed. Joel felt your wetness when you started to grind your center against his hard cock. It was killing him.

“Just for my peace of mind,” he managed to say, “You’re not a virgin, are you?” he asked, his hands resting on your hips.

“Would it change something if I was?” you answered, pressing your body against his.

“Yes. I wouldn’t want to hurt you. I would take my time with you,” he gently said, planting soft kisses around your mouth.

“I’m not a virgin. It’s been a while though, does hymen grow back?”

Joel laughed at that, but his laugh quickly turned into a deep growl as you made him penetrate you. You slided onto him so slowly, it took everything in his power not to shove his length as deep as he could. You felt his fingers digging so hard on your hips, you’ll probably wake up with bruises in the morning. It’s been such a long time, it almost felt like it was indeed your first time.

As he bottomed out, Joel kissed you roughly. He’s not going to last. This is too much. “Fuck, Y/N! You’re so tight,” he groaned in your ear, holding your hair in his fist.

You pulled out slowly and got him to bottom out again. You rode him with this killer pace, until he couldn’t take it anymore. He made you roll over and pinned you down onto the mattress. Again, his fingers dug into your skin, and his lips crashed on yours in a rough and sloppy kiss. Joel quickened the pace, fucking you relentlessly. He could hear you cry his name and it quickly became a blur to him. It was so much for him, he completely forgot about your pleasure and after a few quick and hard thrusts, Joel came deep inside your pussy, crying your name out loud.

This was too quick, you didn’t have time to cum too. But you didn’t mind, you knew he was going to get even. Plus, seeing him falling apart on top of you like that was the most sexy and erotic and amazing thing you ever witnessed. That image only could get you soaking wet. Pretty much like you were at this moment.

“Fuck, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he said, collapsing on you.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, stroking his hair and kissing his temple. He was sweaty as hell, but you loved the taste of him on your lips.

“God,” he panicked, “I came inside you,” he looked at you with wide eyes, realizing the risk it was. He should have never come inside you. This is way too risky. There are no birth controls and no condoms. He can’t do that again. The panic washed him over, but you stayed pretty calmed under him. “Why are you not freaking out? Yelling at me?”

“Is there anything we can do about it?” you asked, steady.

“Well--” he trailed off. Obviously, there’s nothing you can do about it. He came, it’s too late.

“I’ll be careful next time, I promise.” he apologized and kissed you.

Once the panic disappeared, Joel remembered that you didn’t come. He got carried away by his own pleasure, he completely forgot about yours. “Don’t move,” he ordered you and made a trail of wet kisses down to your core. You moaned when his lips reached your clit and he smirked. He licked and sucked on your clit for a moment, one of his arms around your waist to keep you still. When he felt your hand running through his hair, and your nails digging on his scalp, he moaned himself. “Fuck, you’re tasting yourself,” you breathed out.

“I couldn’t care less.” he muttered.

As he kept eating like a starving man, Joel surprised you with a thick finger entering your core. “Jesus, Joel! Yes!” you cried and he didn’t waste time adding another finger. His fingers were curling inside you, hitting exactly where they were supposed and he remained sucking hard on your clit. “Just like that, yes! Fuck!” he felt your body shaking under him and his free hand immediately rushed to your breasts, pinching your nipples between his thumb and index. He didn’t stop, not even slowed down until you came hard on his face, crying his name so loud, all Jackson probably heard you.

As you were catching your breath, Joel got back on top of you and wrapped an arm around your neck. He held you so tight, you almost couldn't breathe but you loved every second of it. You were surprised by his length teasing your oversensitive entrance, “I’ve never recovered this fast in my life.” he growled in your ear. “Can I?” he asked for your consent, gently kissing your temple.

“Yes please! Give it to me, baby. Fuck me!”

That was all he needed. He didn’t need his hand to slide inside of you again. In one thrust, he bottomed out and cursed. “You were made for me,” he said, huskily, before kissing you, all teeth and tongue.

As he thrusted hard and deep inside your pussy, you grabbed his ass and squeezed. He chuckled against your mouth and quickened his pace. He fucked you relentlessly again but this time, he took his time. There was less urge, he was thinking about your pleasure too.

He finally let go of your neck, and got on his knees, lifting your hips a little. Your ass was resting on his thighs as he kept thrusting. That angle drove both of you crazy. While one of his hands was holding your hips hard, he furiously rubbed your clit with the other. He could feel you're losing it. “I’m gonna cum, baby,” you told him. “Fuck, you feel so good!” you cried his name again, coming and creaming on his cock.

“God, I’ll never get used to that sight,” Seeing you losing it under his touch sent him over the edge. He managed to withdraw just in time to come on your stomach, he didn’t even have to give himself a few final strokes.

He collapsed on top of you again, not caring about the sticky mess between your bodies. “You’ll be the death of me, Y/N,” he said and you chuckled.

“I love you, Joel. There’s no better than you,”

#joel miller x y/n #joel miller imagine #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #the last of us #the last of us part 2

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