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crystallized-iron · 4 years

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Fic Recs

I really don’t read as much as I should, but there have been some really great ones. MCU and X-Men recs under the read more.

I think... if I counted right, this is 25 recs here. I may have gotten carried away a little bit. Enjoy.

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Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked by Kellyscams Rating: Explicit

Steve's just moved back to Brooklyn after spending ten years in California trying to make a life for himself as an artist right after high school. Having escaped to the other side of the country following the sudden death of his mother, Steve feels guilty about abruptly leaving all his friends for so long, unfulfilled, scared and nervous about started college at his age, and unbelievably lonely. So when he meets Bucky Barnes, a young sex-worker, at a bar the night before his first day of classes, temptations might be too high to resist.

One night paying for sex with the most sinfully gorgeous guy is nothing to brag to the papers about, huh?

S'not like he'll ever see him again anyway...

...Right?

And we pulled each other like gravity by hllfire Rating: Explicit

Erik accompanies Charles, Crown Prince of the Xavier Empire, to his first diplomatic meeting on the planet Themis, where he finds out something about the Prince and they end up talking about the past and how their paths had crossed before.

Fill for the Day 1 of Cherik Week: Space AU.

Bitter Sweet by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Bucky comes home from the war, finds out he has a daughter he never knew existed and now he must cope with life after the war while taking care of her.

Alternate timeline where Bucky's rescued after falling from the train, but Steve was never told and goes into the ice anyway.

Broken by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Explicit

It took months of therapy for Bucky to break his Winter Soldier conditioning, and Steve was there for him, encouraging him to talk about his past, his fears, his time as the Soldier. And Bucky talked about everything-- except why the barest mention of an Alpha makes him panic. When Steve brings Bucky home, Alpha!Tony is ready to welcome Bucky with open arms and wings, but Bucky can't look at him, can't be in the same room without his wings flaring out to keep the Alpha away, a broken Omega panicking in the presence of a strong Alpha. But Tony is a good Alpha, and the team pulls together to help Bucky, showing him what it means to be loved, to be healthy and whole, and one day when Tony holds his hand out, Bucky trusts him enough to take it. And Bucky realizes that with a family behind him, with the safety hes found in the Omegas, the companionship from the Betas, and the unconditional love from the Alpha--HIS alpha, he isn’t broken at all. But with a team like the Avengers, tragedy is never far off, and this one rocks the family to their core. How can they fix the broken pieces of their lives when their Alpha is gone?

Close to you, I’m home by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

As Erik is searching the manor, he finds something strange in the attic. He knows that he needs to go to Charles, if he wants some answers. After all, why would there be a nest in a small dusty attic room, when there were countless rooms with ridiculously soft beds all around the manor?

Goodbye Brothers by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

A look at Dum-e during the events of Iron Man 3 and beyond.

It’s Not What You Think... by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Bucky walks in on Tony dirty talking in the lab but it's not what he thinks.

Letters to Bucky by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Explicit

Stuck in rehab after a near-fatal accident, Tony reaches out via letters to a soldier overseas, and Bucky is more than happy to write back, drawn to Tony for a reason he can't quite name. One or two letters turn into a years worth, then come the phone calls, with Tony quickly realizing that Bucky's voice, with that rolling Brooklyn accent might be his new favorite sound. When Bucky shows up unannounced at Tony's door, one thing leads to another and maybe a confession or two is made. But Bucky's tour overseas isn't over yet, not even close, and they have months more of distance between them. Then Bucky disappears, missing in action, and Tony doesn't know if he will ever get his soldier back. And if Bucky DOES make it home, will he be the same boy from Brooklyn who sent Tony love poems, or has his time away and his injuries changed him for good?

BONUS CHRISTMAS CHAPTER ADDED 12/10/18

Let your light shine by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Inspired by Moomin TV series from 1990 and the episodes “The invisible friend” and “The invisible Child”. It’s the start of the summer break and Erik, a 13 year old boy living in a small house with his mother in the outskirts a small(ish) English town, is stuck in home because of the rain. The evening seems to get interesting though, when a strange man arrives with an invisible telepath boy and asks them to help him become visible again.

Loving a Vampire by Feelingsinwinter Rating: Mature

In the 19th century, Tony is a greatly appreciated and skilled inspector. His dire need to find the murderers and killers to every case he is given is well known among the people and while it doesn’t always help him to get the answers he needs, at least it makes it easier to convince people to talk to him. When Mary Ann Nichols is found dead, Tony Stark doesn’t know the investigation will put his life in harm’s way, put his marriage with one James Buchanan Barnes on shaky ground and shove him in a situation he wasn’t ready to face.

When a murderer does their best to earn the name of a monster, Tony is ready to do anything to stop them.

My beacon in a storm that is the world by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Erik hated this planet. And he had seen a few along the years as a pilot of the most troublesome research team that had ever existed.

Or, they find a new alien species and Erik catches a bad case of feelings ragarding his relationship with Charles.

Of Broken Dreams and Mended Hearts by Kellyscams Rating: Explicit

When the House of Barnes is left in massive debt after the death of George Barnes, their oldest son and heir, Bucky, is forced to sacrifice his own hopes and dreams by entering an arranged married to Steve Rogers. Steve seems kind enough, has a prominent job in the government, and was even voted Society's Best Catch. But the House Rogers is significantly higher in status than Bucky's family, which means Bucky is marrying up in Society, and marrying up doesn't only come with rewards, it also comes with certain...expectations and losses--some of which Bucky might be willing to do anything to avoid. And those opportunities might come his way.

Unless, of course, he actually starts falling in love with his new husband...

Pirates Heart by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Explicit

The 1700s, the Golden Age of Piracy, and Captain Steve Rogers has all he wants: a ship, a loyal crew, Bucky at his side, and the horizon offering a new adventure everyday. But an impulsive kiss gone wrong leads to a marriage between Steve and Tony Stark, and now Steve doesn't know what to do about ANYTHING. Steve loves Bucky, but something about Tony draws him in. Tony is too innocent for this life, but he picks up a sword anyway. Bucky is Steve's, but when he offers his hand to Tony and now the three of them are something new. When the truth about Steve's mission to ruin the Stark name comes out, Tony runs away, leaving Steve and Bucky behind in search of answers to the secrets hidden from him his whole life-- about his company, about Uncle Obie, about his parents death.

Steve and Bucky cant abandon their mission against Stane and Tony cant deal with the answers he finds in New York. Is this the end? Is Tony gone forever? Or will he leave his old life and return to the sea and the Pirates that hold his heart?

**BONUS CHAPTER ADDED 2/4/19!!** **BONUS CHAPTER ADDED 5/15/20!!**

Random Encounter by g33kyclassic Rating: Explicit

Charles is just a typical London commuter...until he sees the most gorgeous man on earth standing a few feet away from him.

Regret is in the past by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Six years after first class, the cold war escalates and the missiles are fired, destroying the world as it was known. Those who managed to live, fight for survival against each other and against the living dead. One would think that the mutants have advantage, but Shaw was wrong in his assumption that the radiation would make them stronger. On the contrary, it made them weaker, their powers only half of what they used to be. In this world of waste land, Erik and what’s left of the brotherhood are trying to survive. It’s five years later, they are cornered by the zombies while they were trying to gather supplies in abandoned town. The situation seems hopeless, until a silver haired boy appears out of nowhere and tells them to be ready to run.

Small Indiscretions (Can Save the World) by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Captain Steve Rogers has defeated the Red Skull but lost his own life in the process, leaving behind a grieving Peggy and guilt-ridden Howard Stark. After looking to Howard for comfort following her great loss, Peggy finds herself facing the scariest mission she’s ever encountered: motherhood.

While this news is devastatingly unwanted for Peggy, Howard sees this as a golden opportunity to give his bride Maria the child she never thought she could have. With a little convincing and promises that she won’t have to be involved with the child’s life if she doesn’t want to be, Peggy agrees to keep and have the baby for the Starks, own personal comfort be damned. She wasn't planning on it being so hard, or finding someone she didn't want to lie to along the way. AKA what if Peggy Carter was more than just Tony Stark’s badass aunt?

The Consequence of Hiding by g33kyclassic Rating: Explicit

Charles is completing his PhD at Oxford when he finds himself in dire need of a new job to support himself and Raven. Erik is a grumpy Mutant Student Counsellor who has yet to fill his student assistant position. Enter Prof. MacTaggert and her matchmaking ways to bring her student and her friend together (in platonic, professional compatibility, of course). Will things stay platonic for Charles and Erik? Only time will tell.

The Funeral by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Tony attends the viewing and funeral of his parents. The other members of the company's board are not amused by his actions there.

The Risks by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Inspired by post on Tumblr It takes Erik by surprise how Mystique doesn't seem to remember just how much Charles has done and risked for them, for their kind. But it seems that Erik wasn't quite aware of the risks either.

The Robot Who Could Feel Pain by slightly_salty_ace Rating: Teen

In which Tony leaves Afghanistan more machine than human. Or rather, Iron Man leaves Afghanistan. To the world, Tony Stark is dead.

Or...

Steve is convinced that Iron Man is just a robot with sass because the future is a strange place and he's stopped questioning things.

But when someone from Tony Stark's past returns, putting Iron Man in danger, Steve is forced to start asking questions. Specifically questions about his feelings towards a certain red and gold robot.

The Shared Dream by TurtleTotem Rating: Teen

Charles's cryo-pod malfunctions and wakes him up a century before everyone else. Will he spend the rest of his life alone on a ship full of sleepers? (A Passengers AU.)

The Soldier by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Explicit - Read Warning and Tags!

There's something wrong with Bucky. Something very wrong and it may have dire consequences for his friends and loved ones.

Time Falls Away by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Mature

The Battle of New York: Tony flies himself and the nuke through the wormhole and when his suit shuts down and he starts to fall, he knows he's going to die. But then he wakes up in an alley in Brooklyn, two strangers staring down at him in confusion and Tony is sure he is dreaming when he shakes hands first with pre-serum Steve Rogers, and then Bucky Barnes. Trapped in 1942, Tony befriends Steve, and falls in love with Bucky but America is at war, and Bucky and Steve ship out to join the cause. Tony knows all the stories about the Howling Commandos and knows what’s coming for the soldiers, and has to live through history as first Bucky falls, and then Steve disappears. Tony is left alone in the 40's, crying himself to sleep in the house he had shared with his best friend and his lover. But then he wakes up on the pavement in New York, the Hulk roaring in his face, Steve staring down at him, and he has to wonder if it was all a hallucination. When Tony fell through the sky, did he fall through time as well? Why does Steve act so cold towards him? Were he and Bucky really that happy together?

Did it all really happen, or is Tony in love with a life he can only have in his dreams?

We want the same thing by hllfire Rating: Mature

Charles is locked up underground, where his telepathy won't be a problem, deemed too dangerous now to be kept free. Erik pays a visit.

Fill for the Day 2 of Cherik Week: Dark!Charles.

Your Love Alone Is Not Enough by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Explicit - Read Warning and Tags!

In an alternative post Civil War, Clint and Bucky fell in love and tried to make a life together. But then Thanos happened and Clint embraced the darkness within himself trying to cope with all his loss.

This is how after Bucky returned, Clint still can't cope with what happened and who he's become. How even though he seems to have it all, his own mind is his now his greatest enemy. Bucky tries to help but how do you help someone that doesn't believe he should be saved?

#fic recs #too many different ships #mcu recs #xmen recs #enjoy

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cmncisspnandmore · 5 years

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Don’t Let Me Go

Hello my lovely readers! This is a fic i wanted to write because i have been feeling kind of down in the dumps lately and I wanted some Fluffy Reid to make me feel better. Not that my Fiance cant cheer me up but sometimes you just need to feel a little love from the guys you’ll never get ya know? Anyways this is a new series, i’m not sure how many parts this will be but enjoy!

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Reader Warnings: Anorexia, eating disorders, depression, drug use, mentions of past character death, extreme fluff? is that a warning?

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27 hours.

It had been 27 hours since you took the last bite of food. All that had passed your lips in the past 27 hours was black coffee and water.

Pulling open the door to the conference room, your team turn to look at you. Each member giving you a smile, and Dr. Spencer reid pulled the chair next to him out slightly, a steaming paper cup set in front of it.

“Alrighty my pretties. We got two women, one a Sandra Morey, 35, divorcee. Two kids that live with their father Henry Morey. And we have Aubrey Willison, also 35, has two kids that live with their dad a Mr. Ralph Willison. Both women were found in their homes with a single gunshot wound to the chest, that pierced their heart. Both ex husbands have been ruled out as suspects, and the icing on our lovely murder cake is that they were killed within 3 days of each other.” Garcia clicks through the slideshow of the victims.

The team listens intently, but your food deprived mind starts to drift, and you find yourself staring blankly down at the paper cup in front of you. There were 2 calories in black coffee. 1 in espresso, over the past day you had consumed 23 calories. 10 cups of piping hot coffee and an espresso that you grabbed on your way here. The barista gave you a weird look when you ordered a single shot of espresso, nothing else. No cream, no sugar, normally people ordered a latte, or a cappuccino. But not you. There were far too many calories, you didn’t even enjoy the taste of black coffee, it was far too bitter and left a gross taste in your mouth. But the feeling of the hot liquid sliding down your throat warming your permanently cold chest, was euphoric. You savored the way it felt in your empty stomach.

“Y/n, are you cold? You’re shivering..” Reid’s hand on your arm startled you, and you gave him a shy smile.

“Sorry, I should’ve grabbed a sweater before coming in I guess,”

“Here use mine.”

You watch as Reid shrugs off his brown cardigan and wraps it around your thin shoulders. You were surprised it fit. You felt like a elephant, your wrists were too thick, your thighs touched and your ribs didn’t stick out when you laid down. Your collarbones were hidden under puffy, mushy fat that clung to you like glue. You hated the way your stomach protrudes when you sit down. You can’t stand when people brush by you in small spaces, people should be able to effortlessly slip by you. If they couldn’t, then you were thin enough.

“Thank you, Reid. I appreciate it.” You smile lightly, a small blush creeping up your cheeks. Across the table Morgan watched as the Dr. smiled back, his hand lingering on your shoulder just a moment too long. Morgan smiled to himself, he had an inkling that the genius liked you as more than a friend. You had been the saviour for the doctors self destruction when he fell to the cold hand of Dilaudid. You had been fairly new to the team when Reid was kidnapped, and you didn't hesitate to hold Reids hand as he was carried away on the stretcher, and you actually got into a verbal argument with Hotch, when he told you to leave for the night to go home. You stuck by his bedside the entire night, and when he was discharged you even insisted you sleep at his house until his wounds healed.

Spencer at the time wasn't aware that you had known what it was like to be completely alone when fighting something you couldn't control. You knew that the Unsub had drugged Reid, you had found the vials, when Reid was suddenly acting strange a few months after the incident. When he had been cleared for the field again, and you picked up on it instantly. You had made it your personal mission to help him with this.

As you helped Reid get over his addiction to the harsh drug that had been forced upon him, your friendship grew, and for Spencer it grew into more than that. When Maeve died you were right there for him as well. You spent nights sitting outside his apartment door, reading him lines from his favorite books. You brought him coffee and just listened to him cry. You were the equivalent to a guardian angel for Spencer.

You had helped Spencer more than anyone could have imagined, and in return the kind, awkward Doctor had started to bring you coffee, and you would spend nights at his place and listen to his read his favorite books. You would often gift books to each other, share random facts you found interesting with one another. It was the small things that made Spencer fall for you, the way your nose crinkled when you found out what the names of the Unsubs. How you had to make sure that everyone got home safe after a case, and how you bought Garcia endless colorful pens for her office.

“Wheels up in 20” Hotch, grabs the file from the table in front of you and you jump. Your brain felt foggy, and logically you knew you needed to eat something if you were going on a case, but the calories you burned when you fasted for this long. When you fasted for this long, you desired to feel light and airy. Like nothing in the world could weigh you down.

“Y/N, are you okay? You’re awfully jumpy, and you barely drank any of your coffee..” Reid stood up, his brow knitted together in worry. Reid may be a profiler, but so were you, you knew what he was looking for, a tell, a sign that you werent okay. You hated that you had to lie to him, and to the team but if they knew what was happening with you they would call for you to have a evaluation and that would get you taken from the field.

You could handle this, only 15 pounds left, then you would finally be where you needed to be. Reid and the team, they would think you looked amazing. Morgan would be able to lift you up when he gave you a hug after a hard case. And Reid, he would be able to lift you off his lap when you fell asleep as he ran his long fingers through your hair, as he read to you. You would be able to ask for a smaller size of your vest because the bigger ones the rest of the team wore would restrict your movement. You would be able to wear spencers cardigans and have them hang to your knees, your slim legs would look great in them and you wouldn't feel like an elephant anymore. All you had to do was fast for another day or so and then you could allow the 300 calories you felt would be acceptable.

“I’m fine, Spence. I promise, just tired, I had a hard time sleeping last night.” You smile up at him and he holds out his hand for you, you greatly take it and wrap your thin fingers around his, and allow the tall Dr. to assist you in standing.

You walk with the rest of the team to the jet, everyone wearing light sweaters in the warm breeze, while you wrapped your down jacket around you a little tighter, the wind forcing violent shiver through you. You stood next to Spencer and JJ, waiting for the stairs of the jet to fold down. You couldn’t wait to sit in the last booth across from the Dr. as he read another book that you picked up from him on your way in to work this morning. You always picked the longest books you could find when buying books for Reid. His eidetic memory making reading books a short task for him, but he humored you often and tried to slow his reading so you wouldn't feel bad for taking a while longer to read the selections he picked for you.

You put your go bag in the compartment above the bench you claimed as your own, and sat on the bench, as Spencer sits across from you. “Oh Spencey. I got you this.” You reach into your purse a hand him the book, and he gives you a smile.

“Thanks Y/N, I’m sure im going to enjoy it. I always do,” He takes the book and tucks in under his arm and shrugs off his messenger bag. Placing it on his seat, he walks over to the cabinet on the back of jet and grabs a water for himself and brings you one.

“Here, i know your ears pop when you take off.” He hands you the bottle his fingers brushing against yours, and it takes everything in Spencer to not pull back from your alarmingly cold hand. Spencer had noticed over the past few months how you had dropped a few pounds, and at first it wasn't alarming, with the amount of cases increasing all of your diets had suffered. But when things had evened out and you were still dropping weight. And now that the last 6 times you had crashed at Reid’s apartment you refused dinner and the following morning breakfast, settling for a cup of black coffee on both occasions.

He had also noticed how you stopped carrying a lunch bag with you when the team was at the office, and had often opted for a protein bar you had in your purse. And now with the zoning out during meetings and the way your cheeks sunk in just a hint further than normal Reid was concerned. He had always thought of you as beautiful and he fell for you despite your looks. Your caring personality and your willingness to help a person who you only knew for a few days when Spencer was going through the aftermath of being held captive by Tobias.

He had fallen in love with you for everything about you, not just your looks. Spencer had hoped to talk to you about it this weekend but with the case he was afraid that he wouldn't make it in time. That something would go horribly wrong before he got the chance to confront you and help you with whatever you were going through. Like you had done for him twice before, Spencer took the book from the seat and sat down resting one arm on the armrest and flipped to the front page of the book, eyes scanning across the page, he got lost in the authors writing for a few minutes before movement across from him caught his eye.

He glanced up from the book and watched as you laid your head down on the seat, pulling two of the blankets provided over you, still in your down coat, and closed your eyes. Spencer watched for a few moments as you drifted off, shivering slightly in your sleep. Spencer had read a few books about eating disorders as a kid, when his mom first got really sick, he thought she might have one and read up on it to try and help her. But when he figured out his mother had Schizophrenia he stopped reading up on the topic.

But he recognized the signs in you as slept across from him on the plane. He knew it wasn't his job to save you but at the same time he felt like he needed to be the one to save you because he knew that in your mind your mind you were saving yourself, but in trying to save yourself you were killing yourself. When Reid had been on drugs you were the one to reach into his life and help him. Now it was his turn, he just needed to figure out how, he knew that this case would probably take up most of your time, seeing as you were a dedicated agent. When there was a case you threw yourself into it. He wouldn't be able to talk some sense into you over this case, he would either have to pull you away from the case or wait until after it was over.

His one hope was that it wouldn't be too late for you by the time the case was over. He could tell by the way you moved and how after you stood up you took a few moments too long to start walking that you were walking a dangerous line right now. You bumped into the table on the way out of the office, and now as Spencer watched you sleep he could see a bruise forming on your forearm. You barely bumped into the table but a bruise forming like that was a sure sign of later stages of anorexia.

Spencer fearing someone was watching his contemplative stare would try to figure out what he was looking at you for and draw attention to it. Something he knew could cause you go into a downward spiral, being publicly called out about this could damage you. Something Reid didn't want to happen, for he already thought you were just a little too fragile.

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notimetoblog · 6 years

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Not The Time (pt.7)

Summary: After not seeing Bucky Barnes in what felt like forever you find yourself with him in the middle of a chaotic situation. Definitely not the time to reminisce about your past with him.

A/N:I think this is the longest chapter I've written! I just couldn't stop myself lol. WE GET ANSWERS in this one!! We also finally see the prompt i chose from @violentlybarnes writing challenge! its in bold. One more chapter and i will have officially finished my first fic!!! can you believe it? I really cant lol . Thanks and i really hope you like it!!

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 / PART 4 / PART 5 / PART 6 /

Walking into the compound was always an experience. Your total awe at walking into the jet was miniscule compared to your reaction to the compound. What other place could boast it was home to the greatest and mightiest heroes on earth? They didn’t all live here fulltime, but still, it was home to them.

Bucky had mostly chosen to live here to be near Steve and Sam. Being away from them made no sense for his recovery. He needed people around him he could trust and who genuinely cared for him. So, the compound it was.

The trip up to the compound from your apartment was quite long so you didn’t really spend much time here. Your job needed you to be back in the city, so Bucky took it upon himself to spend as much time with you there. The enormity of the compound had, therefore, not been lost on you. The little time you had spent here, allowed you to observe amazing things. Who would be able to keep their cool when an always-present AI, holographic displays, Tony’s suits, and all his gadgets just existed here?! Coming up here always had you feeling like the little boy in The Incredibles.

“So what are you waiting for? I don’t know! Something amazing, I guess.”

Bucky teased you endlessly because of this. Always whispering the line to you when he caught you staring at something within the compound. You almost regretted showing him that movie.

“Y/N!” Steve yelled as he saw you turning the corner to the common area. He was walking out of his office. His smile was contagious, and you couldn’t help but join him. He brought you into one of his famous Steve Hugs™. “How have you been?”

“Hi, Steve,” you said as you smiled and pulled back from his hug to look at him. “I’m ok, kinda still processing everything.”

Steve understood what you meant. You had just been through countless of hours of work and on top of that you had to also be dealing with your situation with Bucky. Whatever it was, it still wasn’t very clear to him.

“Your things are coming back with the other jet. We made sure to get everything for you,” he said trying not to dwell too long on something that was probably still very fresh. “I spoke to your friend, Josh, he said your cellphone was with him. He said you left it back at a clinic?”

“Right!” you said as you realized where your phone had been left. “I must’ve left it behind while Josh and I rushed from a clinic we were visiting when we heard the explosion.”

“I see. Well, he mentioned you have a lot of calls to return.”

“I bet,” you said as you pictured all the calls you probably missed. People had no doubt tried to reach you once they realized you had been near the explosion. I’ll do that soon, you thought.

“I should probably call Maya, though,” you turned to Bucky who had been standing behind you. “Just to let her know I have a way home.”

“Yeah, there’s a phone in there,” Bucky pointed towards Steve’s office. “Feel free to use that one.”

You nodded and made your way over.

“I gotta go, Buck,” Steve said as you went into his office. “Take care of her, would you. Don’t be an idiot.”

“Yeah, I know,” Bucky replied with sigh.

“I’ll see you soon. Do you think she’ll stay the night?”

“I don’t think so,” Bucky said. “I’m driving her home. She probably wants to be there as soon as possible.”

Steve’s eyes widened with surprise. Maybe his friend wasn’t a complete idiot. He had apparently taken the first few steps to fix whatever had happened between you two.

“Ok,” Steve said with a smile. “Tell me how it goes and let me know if she needs backup beating your ass.”

Bucky snorted, “Will do.”

As Steve left, Bucky looked over to the office you were in. He could see your silhouette through the frosted door. You seemed to be having a very animated talk with Maya. He wondered if you’d tell her he would be the one to drive you home. By the looks of it, you had told her.

Maya hated him. He knew this. She had made it perfectly clear.

---

He had tried to stay away from the restaurant you two had met in. He had really tried but after a grueling mission he couldn’t stay away from the soup. He had headed to the restaurant at a time he was sure you wouldn’t be there. He didn’t want to cause you any discomfort or pain seeing him after what he’d done.

He walked inside and sighed in relief when he didn’t see you there. He sat at a table and waited for his soup.

“Well, I wasn’t sure if should expect more from you,” he heard a familiar voice say from behind.

He turned and saw Maya standing behind him with a scowl on her face. He had gotten along well with Maya. She was like a sister to you and she had never expressed anything other than love for the two of you. That had obviously changed.

“Do you mind if I sit?” she asked as she walked around the table to the seat in front of him. “Actually, I don’t care if you mind or not. I’m not here to make you happy.”

You had told her. Of course, you had. She was your closest friend and you surely needed someone to lean on after he had left you seemingly out of the blue.

“Let me guess, you ordered her soup?” She asked once she had made herself comfortable in front of him.

He nodded, preparing himself for what was surely coming.

She scoffed, “Of course, you did.” She paused as a waitress brought him the soup. The waitress asked Maya if she wanted anything and she had replied with a polite no.

“You know, Barnes,” she continued after the waitress had left. “I had always seen you as a good guy. I saw how you treated Y/N, you were good to her. She was happy with you, so I liked you too. Even saw you as a hero. What I didn’t peg you as was a coward.”

There it was. That word Bucky had been calling himself for almost two months.

“Do you know who runs away? Cowards do. Do you know who hurts people that love them? Cowards do. So, therefore, I have concluded that you, my friend, are a coward.”

Bucky didn’t know where to look so he settled his eyes on his soup. He knew she was absolutely right calling him a coward. He couldn’t look at her, though. Too ashamed to raise his eyes.

“If you wanted to break up with her, you could’ve put your big boy pants on and told her. But no, instead you had her worry over you for weeks. You had her thinking something had happened on your mission and your friends had just forgotten to let her know. She couldn’t go to you, so she called you. You promptly ignored her.”

He felt his heart constrict. He had seen your messages and heard your voicemails but he couldn't go back to you. His heart had broken every time he heard a tearful voicemail. They had eventually stopped around the time Sam had confronted him.

“I won’t take too much more of your precious time, Barnes. Just know one thing, I might not be able to physically kick your ass but don’t think that’ll stop me from trying if need be. I was wrong about you. You broke her, and I’ll always remember that. I’ll help her forget, but always know I remember.” She got up and started making her way towards the door. “Don’t come back here,” she added. “At least let her keep this.”

He hadn’t returned to the restaurant after that and Maya had never mentioned the incident to you.

---

“So, Maya is pretty upset,” you said as you reappeared from Steve’s office. “Told me to ask Sam to drive me home. Or Steve.”

He knew he would have to face Maya’s wrath soon enough. She was a fighter when it came to you. She had already told him she would gladly kick his ass and he had just given her the perfect opportunity.

“Do you want me to ask one of them?” He asked. “If you’d feel more comfortable I’ll get one of them to do it.”

“No,” you said. “We’re doing this now, Bucky. You said you would.”

“I know, I will, I just need to know you’re ok with this.”

“I am. Can we go now? I just want to be home.”

“Yes. You sure you don’t want to rest a bit before we get in the car?” he asked. He was getting nervous. It all depended on this ride home.

“No, I’m tired of waiting,” you replied.

“Ok, then let’s go.”

Before leaving you had gone to find Sam and Tony, again. After thanking them for getting you back to New York, you left. You noticed Sam mouthing something to Bucky, but you hadn’t been fast enough to catch what he had said.

Getting in Bucky’s car you quickly realized how suffocating this was going to be. The car was large, it had to fit a super soldier after all, but it still felt constricting. Your mind began conjuring all the memories you had created in this car and you had to try your best to quiet it down.

“Music?” Bucky said hoping to somehow make you feel at ease. An impossible task, he knew.

“Sure,” you replied softly as you began thinking what the best way to approach this was.

Bucky turned on music that always helped him relax. Music that reminded him of happier, lighter times. Songs that reminded him of his life before all this Winter Soldier mess.

You realized what he was playing and knew he must be feeling the same nervousness as you. He had often played that when he came home from missions. He hoped it would help him calm relax and it did, partially. It was you that always completely brought back his peace of mind, though. Now, he had promised to put everything out in the open, so you figured you’d give both of you some time to calm down.

After a half hour of trying to calm down, you realized you just couldn’t relax. When your mind wasn’t drawing up happy memories it simply brought up him saying I’ll come find you when this is all over.

You’d had enough of waiting.

“Was it something I did?” you whispered feeling the tears already forming.

Bucky had to stop himself from hitting the car’s breaks. God, he wasn’t ready for this. He was a coward, like Maya had said. He couldn’t face you and the pain he had caused you. How could he ever make you feel like you had done something wrong? All you had done was love him and he had hurt you. He felt the overwhelming need to pull you into his arms and just hold you.

“Darling, please don’t think that,” he said.

“Well, what am I supposed to think, then? Bucky, you just disappeared!” you said feeling anger bubbling up.

“I know, I know…” he began.

“Do you?” you interrupted. “Do you know how I felt? Do you know what I thought? I thought you’d been hurt Bucky. I couldn’t stop thinking something terrible had happened to you. You promised to come back,” you said not being able to hold back the tears. “You promised and then you disappeared. I called you! I lost count of how many times I called and texted you.”

Your sobs stopped you from saying more. Why had fate placed Bucky in front of you again? Did it like seeing you hurt?

Bucky had to do something. He had to comfort you in any way. He saw how your tears rolled down your cheeks, he heard your heartbreaking sobs and he needed to do something. He exited it the highway as soon as he could and found a quiet place to park the car. He immediately ran to your side and opened the door.

He tried to help you get out of the car, but you refused to let him touch you. You got out of the car yourself and stood in front of him. You two were completely alone, still somewhere in upstate New York.

“I’m sorry,” he said his own tears falling. “I’m sorry. I know I hurt you. I know what I did, Y/N, and I can’t forgive myself, so I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

“Why did you leave?” you whispered. “You could’ve told me you didn’t want to be with me. I would have understood.”

“I couldn’t tell you that because I would have been lying to you, doll.”

That name, again. ‘Doll’.

“Do you remember what I said when I last saw you?”

How could I forget, you thought. Those words have been haunting me since.

You nodded unable to bring yourself to say them out loud.

“I meant it. I wanted to come back to you. Of course, I did. I love you, how could I not want to come back to you.”

You looked away from him and you felt a brand new round of sobs coming up.

He loved you. He had said he loved you. What a way of showing it, you thought.

He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to you as he heard your sobs again. He pulled you so close to him. If this was the last time he got to hug you, he wanted to make sure he remembered exactly what it felt like. Your arms wrapped around his neck as he brought you even closer.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Doll, I’m so sorry.”

“Then why not come back?” you asked, your own voice barely above a whisper.

He didn’t let go of you and he felt your body shake as your sobs left your body.

“I don’t deserve you,” he said. “How could I ever deserve you? Doll, you’re the sweetest, smartest, warmest person I’ve ever met. How could I deserve you after everything I’ve done?”

You loosened your arms around his neck and pulled back a bit to see his eyes. Those eyes that had so much power over you. You felt your heart drop as you saw how sad they looked. All light had left them; the only thing they were emitting was heartbreaking sadness.

“That’s not true,” you said as you wiped his tears from his cheek. “You deserve the world.”

“Don’t,” he said. “Don’t say that. We both know that’s not true.”

Your brows furrowed.

“I’ve known all along I didn’t deserve you. I love you to pieces, doll, but I don’t deserve you. I figured the only fair thing for you was to let you go.”

You pulled back completely from his embrace at this confession.

“I thought I could tell you in person. I thought I would be able to look you in the eyes and end what we had, but I just couldn’t. One look into your eyes and I felt overwhelmed with the need to hug you, to kiss you, to just spend whatever time I could with you. So, I never did it. I always put it in the back of my mind. Hoping you wouldn’t realize how much I didn’t deserve you.”

How had you not noticed this? You were supposed to be helping him get better and you had missed this self-loathing.

“I would always try to convince myself that maybe I could stay with you. I almost did it. But then one day when I picked you up from work I overheard Josh say how he couldn’t understand how you could be near me, let alone love me. How he couldn’t see how someone like you could ever want to be associated with me. And I realized, even though you hadn’t noticed I didn’t deserve you, I had and everybody else had too.”

Your mind couldn’t keep up with everything he just said. Josh?! Josh had caused this mess?!

To say his interaction with Josh was tense the day he had come back to ask you to fly home with him, was an understatement. Bucky always felt Josh had known he could hear him that day.

“So, when I said goodbye to you that night,” he continued. “I really did plan on coming back. I planned on working on something to say to you to end it. To finally let you be happy with somebody that truly deserved you. But I just knew I couldn’t go through with it. If I faced you, I would just want to keep you, and nothing would change. So I just didn't come back.”

He wiped his tears from his face. He hoped everything he had said made some sort of sense to you. He needed you to understand because only if you did, could he hope of fixing this.

“Buck,” you said. “Oh, honey how could you ever think that?”

You tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and then wiped your own tears.

“Buck,” you said again. “Listen to me, you were taken, tortured, wiped, and forced to do all those things. Everything you had, was taken from you. To come back from all that, to be able to overcome all of that, takes courage, strength, and overall goodness. The universe could hand you ten million dollars, a mansion in every country in the world, and the largest bowl of our soup, and it would still be in debt to you. You deserve happiness more than anyone I know.”

He looked at you, scanning your eyes for any hint of a lie. No more lies, you had said.

“Love,” you continued. And God it felt so right to call him that again. “Please believe me. You deserve the world.”

He saw anger flash in your eyes before you spoke again.

“And that idiot, Josh, knows nothing about you. Knows nothing about us. He doesn't now how sweet, how caring, and soft you are. Doesn't know that you’re everything I could've have hoped for and more. He has no idea how your hugs feel like home, how your kisses make me melt. He doesn't know you, Bucky Barnes. He doesn't know how much I love you.”

He leaned closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist once more and bumped your nose with his.

“Do you mean it?” he asked. Hoping with all his heart that you had meant it. That the universe wasn't playing some cruel twisted joke on him.

“Every bit of it,” you whispered.

He looked into your eyes once again trying to understand how he had let go of you so easily. How someone’s words could've caused him to spend a year without you. A lonely, sad, miserable year without your love. He could never say thank you enough to the powers that be, that let him find you again. And he was convinced he would never be able to word just how much he loved you. He couldn't ever truly voice it, but perhaps he could show it.

With a small smile he captured your lips in his.

It was not the time to think of that year apart. Not the time to think of Josh. Not the time to think of pain.

It was time to love again.

LAST PART

----------------

Tags Club! (Please let me know if you'd like to be tagged in other Bucky stories i write since this fic is almost over. Just one more chapter!)

@buckysmusculararm @notkeppeki @parkerprotectionprogram @kittyslove @whyisbuckyso @faunacea @creideamhgradochas @sony-undead18 @sixweekcure4dreams @snowflakesandkisses @just-add-butter @dracris33 @the-northernking @camillechan @this-is-happening @carry-on-my-fandom @buckyisthepuresthuman @seargantbcky

#Bucky Barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky fanfic #bucky angst #violentlybarnes3k #my first fic #stories by notimetoblog

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maknaesdancersrappers · 6 years

Text

devoted.

Jung Jaehyun || yandere!au(ish?), thriller(???), smut (im sure about this one lol), cursing, some pretty dark shit is under that keep reading line

word count: 9k

devoted masterlist

T R I G G E R W A R N I N G.

A/N: i usually make a sideblog for scenarios and imagines but i cant commit to writing often //sighs at exo and svt fic blogs// so i’d rather post it on my main tumblr than on my AFF account which is strictly for memberxmember only (author name is on the gif lmao i got too lazy to edit it to my tumblr url) so here’s some jaehyun smut for all his hoes, me included.

P.S. this is based off my dream the other night and i deadass almost had a panic attack from it

As a boyfriend, Jaehyun was… devoted.

It was a mutual decision; a decision he had voiced out first, but later on deeply regrets.

Jung Jaehyun meant well when he had asked to take a break from your relationship because the final months of university was harder than both of you thought. You simply had no time for each other, especially since you come from two very different courses.

It’s been almost 4 years since you two began dating, thanks to that one Gen Ed subject you miraculously shared together during freshman year. If he hadn’t been late and ended up sitting beside you, neither of you would have crossed paths again.

Jaehyun loves you, he was completely smitten that day you had accidentally swung your head to him a little too strongly and caused your hair to whiplash against his face when all he asked was for the professor’s name to put on his forms.

And you love him, ever since he had flashed his signature dimpled smile, chuckling away your apologies for having smacked his face with your hair.

From pair works in class that turned to study sessions at the library, that turned to spending breaks together at the quad, that turned to dinner dates at the nearest pizzeria, and by then all of your friends can tell that you and Jaehyun weren’t just friendly classmates anymore.

As a boyfriend, Jaehyun was… devoted. He doted you; he made sure he showed how much he loves you every second that he can. It was cute at first, until you got used to it. It had never been a bother or a burden, no matter how many times your friends would point out it was starting to be creepy. But you always shrugged them off, saying it’s simply how Jaehyun was.

First week

“You and Jae?” Ten repeats, “Are taking a break from each other?” He scoffs and nudges Doyoung, “Are you hearing this?”

“Wait, I must have something in my ears.” Doyoung sticks a finger into each ear and pretends to clean them, “Okay, can you repeat that again, (Y/N)?”

You roll your eyes at them and Yebin throws her used tissues at the boys, “Ignore them, (Y/N.) But I’m just as surprised as they are. Are you and Jaehyun really taking a break?”

“Taking a break, in our definition, is not expecting dates every other night, texting or calling during breaks, you know, the usual things we do. And if by some miracle, we bump into each other, we’d just, smile, I guess.”

“Oh thank fuck, no more kissing like you haven’t seen each other in years.” Doyoung groans, only to screech when Yebin kicks his shin under the table.

“I bet you won’t last halfway the semester. Give or take a month?” Ten shrugs his shoulders.

Doyoung snorts, “I bet you won’t last a week.”

“It was his idea and we both agreed to it. We’re graduating soon and we both promised to do our absolute best for the last semester, so we’re getting rid of distractions.”

Ten hums, “It’s just unlike him to suggest it.”

You pout at him, “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“He worships the ground you walk on.” Doyoung says in a tone like it was the most obvious thing that existed. “He worships you.”

“He’s just affectionate.” The bell rings, “And we’ll be late for class.” You stand up from your seat and they follow suit.

Third week

It took a while for you to get adjusted to the fact you’re on a break with Jaehyun. There were plenty of times you had to stop yourself from texting him to ask how he was or if he’s up to eat out together. When there was a knock on your apartment door, you had imagined it was him and not the food delivery you forgot about.

One fateful Friday, none of your subjects had given out homeworks to slave on during the weekend and Yebin had demanded for a mandatory and much needed girl’s night out at the new bar outside of campus. You were fine with the idea, until one of your friends, Minkyung, had took it upon herself to dress you up.

“No.” You automatically told her the second her hand reached for the last dress on the rack in your closet. It was probably the shortest dress you had owned. Despite its sweetheart neckline and flowy cloth, the A-line dress was cut off just above your thighs. It wasn’t the best dress to wear on windy days, to say the least. “That’s too short.”

“It’s cute and sexy!”

“But Jae–”

Minkyung cuts you off with a snap, “Last time I checked, you and Jaehyun are currently on break. Let your legs and ass breathe while they can. You’ve kept your best assets in pants or baggy shorts because Jaehyun doesn’t like it when guys ogle them.”

“Uhm, I don’t like being ogled by other guys, too.” You weakly shot back but she had already forced the dress on you and pushed you to the bathroom.

It didn’t take long for the three of you to get ready and hop into a cab that took you to the bar Yebin had not shut up about days prior from tonight. It was the typical bar set up, with booths surrounding the dance floor with 3 bartenders manning the bar and serving up cocktails one after the other.

Minkyung was fast enough to secure a booth for the three of you and you slip inside while Yebin ordered some drinks.

You realize that it’s been a long time since you were able to go out with them like this. You had always spent your free time with Jaehyun and although you missed him, this was a nice change, too.

Halfway through the night and six margaritas and 3 shots of tequila later, Minkyung and Yebin had coaxed you onto the dance floor. Intoxicated, you sway your body to the beat, laughing and singing along with your girls. You abruptly stop when a hand glides down from your waist to your hips.

“Excuse me, but I have a boyfriend.” You slurred a bit, but stood your ground to glare at the boy that felt you up.

“Really? Where is he then? Hm?”

You size him up quickly, he was shorter than Jaehyun but had Johnny’s built.

“It’s called a girl’s night out, jackass, so fuck off.” Yebin pulls you away but he grabs your arm and you cry in pain.

“I wasn’t talking to you, short stuff.” He hisses at Yebin, who responds with a harsh stomp on his foot.

Minkyung and Yebin whisks you away from him while he cusses at her.

“Are you okay? God, some guys are just jerks.” Minkyung snarls, pulling you into a hug.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry for spoiling our night out.” You reassured her.

“You didn’t spoil it, babe. That jackass did. Besides, we’ve had one too many to drink, we should head on home.” Yebin pulls out her phone and books an Uber for the three of you.

Hangovers are the worst. Usually, Jaehyun would have prepared you some painkillers and a decent breakfast, but today, you and your roommates ate cereal in front of the television with the volume down low.

“I feel like shit. Are we too old to enjoy getting wasted already? Shit!” Yebin cries, clutching her head with one hand while jamming a spoonful of soggy cornflakes into her mouth.

“Someone ask somebody to bring us painkillers. My head is killing me.” Minkyung whines, rubbing her temples.

You grab your phone and to text Doyoung, who instantly replied with his dismay of your state but will still bring over some painkillers.

The television suddenly sounds an alarm, making all three of you groan and cover your ears.

“Breaking News from Seoul Central University. Finance student, Kim Iljung, 22, was found beaten up outside a bar on the outskirts of the campus. The victim reported that he was ambushed from behind with a bat and was not able to see his assailant.”

“(Y/N), isn’t that the guy that felt you up?” Minkyung points out and you look at the ID photo the news report flashed.

“Oh shit, yeah. Oh my god.” You gasp as the reporter described the injuries the boy had sustained.

“Kim claims that he does not know who did this and the reason behind it. He is currently recovering in the campus hospital and is working with the campus police to catch his assailant.”

“Serves him right for molesting (Y/N)! Karma’s a bitch.” Yebin says, drinking the leftover milk from her bowl.

“Karma or not, it’s scary. To be randomly assaulted like that? What if one of us were in his place?” You visibly shuddered. “I mean, who could do something like that?”

Ninth week

You’ll be having your period soon.

You know this because on top of craving all sorts of food twentyfour-seven and experiencing drastic mood swings to your friend’s unfortunate luck, you had to deal with a need that Jaehyun knew all too well to handle. But you haven’t contacted him as part of the conditions of taking a break which only meant you had to take care of yourself.

It was half past midnight when you were sure your roommates were in deep sleep in their respective rooms that you decided to lock your room and raise the volume of the music you usually played at night just a tad louder in case you got a little too vocal.

You haven’t touched yourself in a long time. And even if you had, it was under the predatory gaze of your boyfriend.

Play with yourself. He’d command and you would automatically open your legs and obey.

Everything felt tentative and unsure while your hands ran up and down your naked body. Your mind conjured up scenarios of all the times you and Jaehyun had fooled around and finally, your hand made its way to your core. Sighing, you circle your clit with the tip of your forefinger and shudder at the sensation.

You bite down your lower lip when you attempt to slip your finger inside you. After a few pumps, you slip in a second finger and a moan escapes you accompanied by your boyfriend’s name.

Yes, baby, that’s it. You could practically hear him whisper the words.

“Shit.” You remembered the last time you and Jaehyun masturbated with each other. Much like how you were lying down on your bed with your legs spread out and fingers knuckle-deep inside you, you imagined Jaehyun seated at the chair by your study table, with his large hand wrapped around his cock. You whimpered when you remembered how his eyes watched your fingers disappear inside you.

“A-ah.” You softly cry when you pump faster and harder, trying to match the speed and force Jaehyun had always used on you, but ultimately failed. You plant your feet on the mattress and lift your hips up when you finally feel yourself find the pleasure you’ve been craving for. “Jae.” You whine as your other hand squeezed one of your boobs.

There was a low groan that echoed into the room and for a split second you thought you had imagined it, but it sounded all too real and all too close for it to be a fragment of your imagination. You shoot up from the bed, your hands grabbing the sheets to cover your body as your eyes dart to the window to see a shadow move across it.

Fear seizes your heart, but you had to confront it. As quickly as you can, you run to your window and open it. Your dorm was on the second floor and if there was someone who had seen you, he was fast enough to go down the fire escape. But you shake it off, hoping it was nothing but your imagination.

You close the window before you can catch a cold, not noticing the gooey, white substance splattered on the window pane.

Sixteenth week

Finals were next week and you were at your wits end. You were neck deep in stress and you were desperate to release it. You were in no mood to drink and the girls had their own finals to study for. As you walked home late at night from the library, you stop in front of the university gymnasium.

It had been a while since you’ve went swimming.

You quit the team when you learned that Jaehyun quit the basketball team to make time for you.

The pool would have long been closed by now, but that’s not gonna stop you from sneaking in. You jumped the fence after checking no one was around and made your way to the building where the pool was.

The janitors always kept a spare key inside the emergency fire hose and with that, you successfully entered the indoor swimming pool.

The pool lights were left on as usual and you drop your bags to the side, your clothing following them soon after.

With only your matching red underwear, you slowly slip into the pool, half-moaning and half-whining at the cold water enveloping your body. When your body adapted to the coldness, you dive down and swim close to the tiled floor. From under the water, you look up and panicked when a blurred black mass stood at the side of the pool, causing you to resurface.

“Jesus Christ!” You gasp when you realized who it was. “Jaehyun!” You scolded, “You scared me!”

“Sorry.” He chuckles, lowly, pulling out one of his earbuds from his ear and letting it fall out from the hoodie of his jacket.

“How did you even know I was here?”

“I was out for a jog when I saw you jump the fence.” Once he said that, you noticed he was wearing his usual running clothes. There were a few beads of sweat sliding down his face and his breath was a little ragged. He squats down and offers you a half smile, “If anything, I should be asking you why you’re sneaking into the pool after closing time.”

You bite your lip and swim towards him. “The past weeks have been hard on me and I need to destress. Won’t you help me, Jae?”

His eyes darkened despite the pool lights shining in them. “I don’t think that’s how taking breaks from a relationship works, (Y/N).”

“We’ve made it this far, Jae. Can’t we cheat this break thing?”

“(Y/N)” He warns.

“Please, Jae. For me?” You unconsciously bat your lashes at him and he sighs.

“I don’t have my swimming trunks.”

You giggle at him, “If you haven’t noticed, I’m in my underwear.”

He watches you a little bit more and you thought he was hesitating, so you reach up and unzip his jacket for him. “Do you need help or are you going to let me play by myself?”

That made him smirk and he rises from the ground, discarding his jacket and peeling his shirt away.

Your mouth went dry at the sight of seeing his body again and it made you almost guilty to feel so sexually deprived for the past months. He pushes his running shorts down and reveals his boxers.

Your teeth bite down on your lips again when he kicks his shoes off and smirks at you before diving head first into the water. You swim backwards, trying to tease him as he swims to you from underneath. He resurfaces right in front of you the second your back hits the side of the pool.

Jaehyun wipes away the excess water off his face while you wrap your arms around his shoulders.

“Hi.” You whisper, laughing when he flashes you a smile as you helped pushed his wet hair back.

“Hi.” He breathes, grabbing onto your thighs and guiding your legs around him. “So you needed to destress?”

You nod your head, sliding the hand that pushed his hair back down the side of his face. “How are you gonna help me?”

He pulls your hips closer and grinds his erection against your clothed sex, eliciting a silent gasp from you. “I can think of a few things.”

“C-care to show me?” You stuttered, unable to say anything else as Jaehyun continues to gyrate his hips into you.

For the first time in months, you kissed each other.

The open kiss was messy and sloppy, and it was desperate, needy, and hungry. You clawed his bare back, looking for support as you slid down his body. In response, he pushes you against the side of the pool, the corner biting into your back had hurt but you couldn’t care less. His tongue had invaded your mouth, stroking your own as one of his hands roughly grab your breasts, pushing above the water’s surface.

You throw your head back, resting it against the poolside as Jaehyun clumsily thumbs your hardened nipple and trails a sloppy kiss from your cheek, to your jaw, and stopped short on the side of your neck.

Just as you slowly lose yourself with Jaehyun’s actions, a high pitched whistle hurls you back to reality.

“Shame on you two, fucking in a public pool.” Deep laughter follows afterwards.

Your eyes snap to the entrance where a group of boys watched in amusement. Humiliated, you hide yourself using Jaehyun’s body who shielded you nonetheless.

“Do you mind?” He snaps at them, defensively putting his arms around you.

“Yeah, man, we do mind.” One of them hollers, “We wanted to swim in sperm-free water.”

You flinch when they laugh once more, “Jae, let’s just go.”

He doesn’t react immediately; dark eyes glaring straight to the space behind you. His breathing had slowed and became heavy.

“Jaehyun,” You cup his cheek and make him face you, “Baby, let’s just go.”

It takes him another second to react. He closes his eyes and kisses your forehead. “Okay.”

The guys didn’t pay attention to either of you anymore as they jumped into the far end of the pool. Jaehyun helped you get out of the pool and instinctively, he checked on the guys as he got out after you. Just as he expected, one of them was checking you out while you bent over to grab your things.

“Hey!” He shouts, “I’d appreciate it if you stopped checking my girlfriend out.”

“Can’t help it, man. No wonder you can’t keep your hands off of her.” You see him look at you once more in an overly appreciative manner that made you shudder. On the corner of your eye, you can see Jaehyun tense up and ball his fists. “Jaehyun, leave him alone. It’s not worth our time, come on.”

“Do her real good, man!”

It took all your strength to hold Jaehyun down before he can even properly react. “Baby, please, I just want to go home.” You almost begged him and he finally relented.

Snatching your clothing up, both of you head for the locker rooms to dress before leaving the premises.

“Let me walk you home.” Jaehyun pulled you to his side after seeing you shiver.

After a while, he quietly says, “I’m sorry about those dickheads.”

“It’s not your fault. Maybe it’s the universe saying we shouldn’t be cheating on taking a break.” You huddled closer to him. “But I really miss you, Jae.”

“I miss you, too.” He plants a kiss on the top of your head. “We have a week left. I think we can hold out until then.”

“Until then? Hold out, what exactly?” You tease, spinning on your heels as you arrive to the doorstep of your apartment.

He leans down and kisses the spot between your jaw and your ear. “What could have happened back in the pool and so much more in the privacy of our homes.” His whisper was deep and low, tickling your ear and making you pull away with a short laugh.

“I can’t wait, then.” You let him kiss you on your lips. “Get home safely, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry for not helping you destress.” Jaehyun slightly pouts at you and you smile at him.

“I had this time with you.” You shrugged your shoulders, “It helped.”

“You can always play with yourself again.” He chuckles under his breath. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” And with one last kiss, he walks away.

You turn around and reach for the door, but realization hits you before you can turn the knob.

Did Jaehyun say… ‘again’?

Seventeenth week

You were finally through with exams and all you had to do now was wait for graduation. Jaehyun still had one last exam to finish in the afternoon, as Ten told you, so you guys, along with your roommates and Doyoung, decided to go to the mall.

When everyone grew tired of window shopping, Doyoung had suggested to head over to the arcade. Yebin had challenged Ten to breaking the high score on the basketball games while Minkyung had devoted herself into getting the large minnie mouse tsum tsum in the claw machine.

“Let’s play air hockey like old times!” You pulled Doyoung by his arm.

“Right! So I can beat you, like old times.” He laughs and avoids being shoved by you.

“We’ll see about that.”

He swipes the arcade card into the air hockey machine and the puck pops out in front of you. You place the puck onto the table and grip the striker.

“Are you ready to lose?”

“I should be asking you tha–hey! That’s not fair!” He yells when you make your turn and the puck goes straight into the goal.

“Whoops.” You feigned innocence. “If you’re so great, my leading point shouldn’t be a bother.”

Grumbling to himself, Doyoung places the puck back into the table and swings as hard as he could, making it bounce everywhere before you could block it and send it back to him. He had struck it too hard and made it hit the sides that ultimately led it straight into his goal.

“What the hell!” He complains and glares at you as you laughed out loud.

“That’s two points for me!” You cheer, preparing to block his next shot.

As the game continued, you couldn’t help but laugh at all the nonsense complains Doyoung kept stuttering out. Tears even made it to your eyes when he had made an effort to put all his weight into blocking the puck but he had missed it and stumbled away from the table.

“Are you sure you’re as good at this game as you say you are?” You jeered, peeking up at him through your lashes, but your eyes catch sight of someone else. “Jae?”

Doyoung cheers when the puck slips past you while you were distracted.

You eyes flutter down when the puck plops out of the bank by your legs but you ignore it and look back behind Doyoung. Jaehyun wasn’t there anymore.

“What’s wrong?” He stops his mini celebration and turns around, trying to look for what you were staring at.

“I just… I thought I saw Jaehyun.”

He whips his head back at you with a confused expression. “He should be taking an exam right now.” He glances down at his wristwatch. “Well, if he was fast, he could be done, but it would still take him some time to get here.”

“Right. I was just seeing things.”

After a few more minutes at the arcade, you head over to a fastfood chain across the arcade.

“To console you on your loss in our neck-to-neck air hockey match, I’ll buy you ice cream.” Doyoung wraps an arm around your shoulders, “Sound good?”

“Add in some fries and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be okay about losing.”

He exaggerates a sigh, “My best friend, using me for free food.” He lightly pinches your shoulder, “You’re lucky I love you or else–”

It happened so fast that you could barely register it into your mind.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh? Keeping her warm for me?”

The voice didn’t register at first, but the face that owned it did.

“Dude, what the hell?!” Doyoung scrambles onto his feet with Ten’s help.

Jaehyun steps forward but you block him. “Jae, what is wrong with you?”

“What is wrong with me? I finished my exam early and rushed here to see you, but I see him,” He juts his chin towards Doyoung, “With his arm around you.”

“What’s happening here?” A mall security guard approached your group.

“A misunderstanding, nothing we can’t handle ourselves. Sorry for the trouble.” You bow your head at him and grab Jaehyun’s arm. “Can we talk outside?”

He casts a glare at Doyoung before letting you pull him out. On the way to the exit, you recognized the same group of boys that chanced upon you and Jaehyun in the swimming pool from the previous week. You were ready to avoid their gazes, but they had seen you and immediately steered clear from you–and you didn’t fail to notice the fear in their expressions. Glancing up at Jaehyun, you could see the smug look on his face as he watches the group retreat.

You walk out into the parking lot and spin around to face him. “Do you want to explain yourself for what you did back there?”

Jaehyun frowns, “He had his arm around you.”

“I–Jae! He is Doyoung. Kim Doyoung. My best friend since pre-school. My best friend who is asexual. You know that!”

“He can’t be asexual forever. For all we know, he’s already got a crush on you!”

“Why are you being jealous of him? He’s my best friend and will always just be my best friend.”

“He just said he loves you!”

“And I love him back, as in, platonically, which I think is what he meant!” You groan in frustration. “You’re being ridiculous!”

Jaehyun scowls, “I’m being protective of my girlfriend!”

You suck in your lips and stare him down, “Your girlfriend that you’re technically on a break with.”

“What?” His body visibly tensed up.

“Maybe we should extend the break for a week or two.” You began to step back, but he follows you.

“What?” Jaehyun repeats, “Why?”

“Because, Jae,” You snap and he flinches at your tone, “I need time to get over what you just did inside to my best friend and you need time to contemplate over your actions and apologize to Doyoung.”

“(Y/N).” He whines.

“Jaehyun, please.” You cross your arms over your chest, defensively, and he stops in his tracks, looking at you with pleading eyes. You shake your head with regret and turn away, walking to the mall front.

He hadn’t followed you or tried to stop you, and you were thankful for that.

You take out your phone, book and Uber, and sent a text to Yebin, saying you’re heading home to rest, and then sent one to Doyoung, apologizing for Jaehyun’s actions and asked if he was okay.

Yebin replies with a kissy face emoji and a short message that she and Minkyung will bring home some dinner for you, to which you replied with a quick thank you.

Doyoung responds to your text a little while after, telling you that he’s fine; that nothing was broken or bleeding, and Jaehyun came back to check up on him and to apologize for punching him.

You close your phone as you see your Uber arriving and hop inside. Jaehyun had never reacted that way and it came as shock to you that he did. He was always that shy and nice kid that everyone was friends with. He was never assertive, but you knew it irked him when guys would so much give you excessive attention.

Seventeen weeks and three days

With classes over and practices for graduation rites starting in two weeks, you were left bored at home while Yebin and Minkyung had their exhibits and recitals to attend to. You woke up at noon and ate late lunch in front of the television, catching up on all the dramas you’ve missed for the sake of studying.

It pained you to watch some romantic scenes, if you were to be honest with yourself. It reminded you of Jaehyun and how he had acted a few days ago.

You learned from Ten, since he’s been seeing Jaehyun’s roommate, Johnny, that Jaehyun was either cooped up in his room or spending his hours at the gym.

The news didn’t make you feel any different. You missed him so much, but your pride wouldn’t allow you to give in. He had to apologize and admit his mistakes.

You fell asleep in the middle of a drama and was woken up by your cellphone ringing. The caller ID read Unknown, but you answer it either way.

“Hello?” You yawned. The other line was silent. Thinking there was a problem with the signal, you stand up and walk closer to the window. “Hello?” You repeat. “Who is this?”

As the line continued to remain silent, you decided to hang up.

The call was unsettling, but you shake it off and gasp to see that it was half past 8 already. You trudged to the kitchen, taking out some left overs from the fridge and pop it into the microwave. While waiting for it to heat up, you scroll through your SNS; liking pictures, watching random videos. You see Taeyong’s new profile pic that showed his newly bleached hair and you give it a heart eyes emoji react.

The microwave beeps and you close your phone to eat your dinner in silence.

As you cleaned up after your meal, you’re overcome with the sense of someone watching you. There was a palpable tension in the air and you convince yourself to look behind you. You regret not turning the lights on in the living room, leaving the open space dark and barely illuminated by the kitchen lights.

Your imagination went haywire, thinking how possible it was for someone to stand in the darkest corner and possibly staring you down, mocking how you can’t see them. But your eyes adjust to the darkness and you can map out the tall lamp shade Yebin’s mother had gifted you guys the day you moved in.

You let out an awkward, shaky laugh. “It’s all in your mind, (Y/N).”

Your phone rings, ripping through the silence and effectively made the tiny hairs all over your body stand up. “Motherfuck.” You hiss, clutching your heart as you take your phone from the counter.

It was an unknown number again.

“Hello?” You answer, a little too aggravated.

There was static on the other side and thinking the cell service was bad from the kitchen, you move to window and peek up into the cloudy sky. “Hello? This better not be a prank phone call.”

Instead of the silence you expected, you hear slow, heavy breathing.

“Hello? Who is this?” The clouds move and the moon shines the ground below. Your eyes drop to the street below and your chest tightens.

On the sidewalk that leads to your apartment building, there was a man dressed in a black hoodie, ripped jeans, and a black face mask covering half his face. He was looking up at your building, you weren’t so sure since his hoodie had casted a shadow over his eyes. But what caught your attention was his hand, holding up a phone to his ear.

You see his chest heave and at the same time, an exhale comes from the other line of your phone.

You drop your phone and stumble backwards as a scream erupts from your throat. You hear your roommates concerned shouts from outside the hall as they scramble to open the front door.

By the time they reach you, you were on the floor, shaking uncontrollably and crying from what you had seen.

Seventeen weeks and four days

Your landlady came to visit you and told you she had asked the campus police for extra security every night. They had also tried to trace the unknown number, but didn’t get any leads and guessed it came from a burner phone. Nevertheless, they reassured you that they’ll continue to investigate your case.

Minkyung and Yebin had slept beside you last night to comfort you, but the thought of having a stalker still haunted you.

You were still jittery and with your mind playing tricks on you, you grab your phone and head out.

“Hey, I heard from Ten what happened. Are you okay?” Johnny asks as he opens the door for you.

“More or less? Uhm…” You look inside the room as you toed off your shoes.

“He’s taking a shower. He actually planned to go to you, but I guess you beat him to it.” Johnny cocks his head to the small bouquet of flowers on the side table. “I’m meeting Ten for an early dinner.”

“Bye.” You quietly say as you watch him close the door behind him.

With soft steps, you make your way to Jaehyun’s room. It was tidy as it always was. You can hear him singing as the shower turned on and it makes you smile.

As you move to sit on the bed to wait for him, your eyes catch the black face mask on his table. “Has he been sick?” You frown to yourself, walking over to it. Upon closer inspection, you find an old-school phone beneath it. You dismissed it as a toy when you try to open it and consequently failed to do so.

Your eyes travel to the picture frame beside it. It was you, of course. You were with him to help him choose the picture he’d have printed and framed. You pick it up only to put it down as fast as you could when your fingers came into something sticky.

“Ugh, Jung Jaehyun!” You hiss, stretching your hand as far away as possible. You were disgusted, to say the least, but a part of you is flattered to know your boyfriend jacks off to you instead of some porno video or magazine. You walk to his laundry basket and grab the first thing you could and wiped your hands on it.

You feel bad for using one of his black hoodies to clean your hands but he’d understand. As you returned the dirty laundry back into the pile, you noticed the light washed denim jeans inside. There was an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see that they were tattered. It’s a coincidence, you convince yourself, a horrible coincidence.

You throw the jacket back into the basket and walked over to the other side of the room to sanitize your hands with the bottle of rubbing alcohol liked to keep there. Your emotions have suddenly turned a complete 180 degrees; when you stepped inside the apartment, you felt safe and secured. But after running into items that looked so out of place and had triggered your memories of the past events the last weeks, you were uneasy.

The sound of the shower turns off and you cast a glance at the bathroom door, catching your reflection on the full length mirror. You blink repeatedly, seeing (yet another) item that you did not know Jaehyun had owned.

Your heart began to speed up as you twist around to get a better look. You could hear your heart beating in your ears with every slow step you took towards the corner of the room. There, hidden behind an armchair, resting against the crevice where the adjacent walls met, was a metal baseball bat. You wanted to throw up as your mind connected the dots.

Jaehyun was always protective of you.

“(Y/N)?”

You gasp, turning around, putting a hand over your chest.

Jaehyun, dressed in a loose shirt and boxers with a towel haphazardly thrown over his head, looked as equally as surprised as you.

He couldn’t possibly have done it.

You choke on the onslaught of tears, running to him and burying your face into his chest.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.” He automatically wraps his arms around you, smoothing your hair down. “You’re okay. I’m here. You’re safe with me.”

Jaehyun holds you tight, letting you cry out the remaining fear from the previous night, all the while placing kisses on your head and rubbing your back.

“Oh god,” You breathe in, smelling his strawberry-scented shower gel. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too.” He pulls away, tilting your face towards him. “How are you? Did you get any sleep? If I found out any sooner, I would have gone over to you.”

You shake your head, “I couldn’t sleep properly, even though Yebin and Minkyung stayed with me.”

“Have you eaten at least? Let me cook something for you to eat.”

“I-I… Don’t leave me here.” You hated yourself for sounding so weak.

Jaehyun offers you a soft smile, “No one’s going to hurt you while I’m around. But if you really don’t want to stay in my room, you can come with me to the kitchen.”

He leads you to the kitchen by the hand, his thumb running over your knuckles. He makes small talk with you, asking how your finals went, and you smile to yourself, seeing how he wanted to get your mind off last night.

You respond to his questions and watch him fry some eggs and slices of pork. It didn’t take too long for him to serve it to you with some reheated rice from this morning.

“Eat up, baby girl.”

“Baby girl?” You smirked, “Should I call you daddy, then?”

Jaehyun laughs, a blush still makes it way to the apples of his cheeks. “Be careful what you wish for.” He whispers into your ear, trying to sound seductive but ended up chuckling.

He watches you eat and from time to time, lets you feed him some.

“What are your plans after graduation?” He asks out of the blue.

You swallowed your food, “My plans?”

He nods, waiting for you to answer.

“Get a job?” You shrug, “I haven’t thought about that at all, actually.”

“How about moving into a new apartment?”

You pause for moment, “I don’t know if I can afford it, but my contract for my apartment right now ends two months after graduation so I should probably look into it.”

“Well,” Jaehyun massages his nape and avoids your gaze; a telltale sign he was nervous. He looked exactly the same when he first asked you out. “My parents graduation gift for me is my own apartment room in downtown Seoul. I was wondering if, you know, you’d want to move in with me.”

You stare at him, trying to process what he had just said. “Will your parents be okay with that? I mean, I thought you and Johnny would still be sharing an apartment.”

“He and Ten have their own plans, besides, I’m not sharing a bed with Johnny.” That makes you giggle and he lets out a short chuckle of his own, “And about my parents… they love you like their own daughter. They wouldn’t mind. I’m willing to bet they’re hoping for grandchildren in two years.”

“Woah there, big boy.” You laugh, “How about we take baby steps instead of hoping of seeing our baby take their first ones, huh?”

“Tell that to my parents.” He grumbles like a child and you reach up to pinch his cheeks.

“Anyways, I’d love to.”

“Hm?”

“I’d love to move in with you.”

It takes a second for Jaehyun to grin at your answer, both cheeks displaying a dimple each. “Really?”

You giggle at his reaction, biting down on your lower lip while you nod. “Yes, really.”

He pulls you in for multiple kisses, making you laugh in between each one. The last one he planted stayed longer against your lips, igniting a heat below your belly. His tongue grazes your lips and you instantly grant him access into your mouth, moaning at the sensation of his tongue sliding against yours.

His hands snake onto your thighs, roughly massaging them before pulling you tight against his body. You cling onto him; mouths undetached as he hauls you up and takes you back to the bedroom.

As if you were a delicate piece of china, Jaehyun sets you down on his bed with utmost care. He pulls away from the kiss, leaving a string of saliva between your lips before it snaps as he straightens himself to remove his shirt.

“Oh, god.” You groan, “I can’t believe I lasted 4 months.” You palmed him over his boxers with one hand while the other travelled upwards, fingers dancing across the expanse of the hard muscles of his abdomen and chest. Before you can slip your hands into his shorts, he grabs both of your wrists.

“I still owe you a destresser.” Jaehyun reminds you with a matching smirk on his lips.

You let him undress you, watching his eyes dart to every newly exposed skin and grow darker with carnal lust to every drop of clothing article on the floor by his feet. When you’re finally stripped off of all your clothes and underwear, he gently pushes you back until you’re lying on the bed. With a light tap on your thighs, your legs part to make room for him.

He removes his boxers and kneels on the bed, one hand already stroking his hard member. He leans down and kisses you, “I’m going to show you how much I missed you.”

“Don’t hold back.” You challenged and he playfully scoffs at you.

“When have I ever held back?”

Before you could answer, a digit dips into your core. A shaky sigh escapes you as Jaehyun languidly moves his finger around.

“Show me how much you missed me first.” He quietly says, “Use my hand.”

Whimpering, you covered his hand with your own, grinding your clit into his palm. Your fingers tapped onto his middle finger and he got the message, inserting it along with his pointer finger. He dragged them against your inner walls that caused you to softly moan.

You lifted your hips, hoping to get some more leverage but Jaehyun flexes his middle finger and it brushes against your g-spot. You gasp, dropping your weight back down to the bed. From there, Jaehyun takes over.

With no warning, he pumps his fingers into you, curling them inside before pulling out. It felt amazing and your body was already starting to convulse. He continued his actions, going harder and faster, ignoring the signs of your oncoming orgasm.

You cry out, grabbing onto his wrist with both hands as your body violently shook.

Not wasting any time, Jaehyun takes whatever essence of your climax his fingers collected and smears it over his cock, giving it a few more pumps before he slides it in you.

Your moan may or may not have been too loud for the neighbors to hear, but you had no control over it. Despite being sensitive and still high from your orgasm, you try to spread your thighs further for him. One of your legs pinned his on the bed while you wrapped the other around his hips.

Jaehyun mumbles something about you being tight and how it feels amazing just before he begins to thrust, slow and deep. He leans over and kisses your neck, alternating between sucking and licking every patch of skin he can get his mouth on.

“I’m going to mark you so other guys wouldn’t think twice about hitting on you, okay?” He thrusts a little too hard, as if to punctuate his question, and you groan in response.

“Yes, yes,” You gasp, your hands finding purchase on his shoulders. “I’m yours.”

He makes almost an animalistic growl, hips moving more erratically with your words. “Say that again.”

“I’m yours.” You chant, almost like a prayer.

With every repetition of your invocation, Jaehyun snaps his hips into you, gaining more speed and power. It had you curling your toes and teetering over a cliff, ready to jump head first into ecstasy only he can deliver.

Your body thrashed against him as he gave you your second mind-blowing orgasm for the night. He helps you ride it out, keeping your hips still as he shallowly pushed into you. Unintentionally, you clenched around him and he moans at the sensation.

“Shit, that feels so good, baby.” He rasps, throwing his head back.

“Won’t you come?” You asked, pouting up at him as you catch your breath.

Slowing down his thrusts, he looks down at you. He studies how you were still shivering from your high, how his kisses on your necks have bloomed into a bouquet of purple flowers, how your breasts rose with every haggard breath. He takes one into his hand, softly palming it. “I’m getting there.”

“Is there anything you want me to do?” You watch his eyebrows scrunch up and his lips curl into a wicked grin.

He pulls out of you all of a sudden and crawls until his knees are on either side of your chest. “Open up.”

You part your lips and stick your tongue out a little.

Jaehyun groans at the lewd sight of you; taking his cock into his hand and pumping as fast as he can. He places the tip on your tongue when beads of pre-cum ooze out.

You lick it up immediately, coaxing him to ejaculate by running your tongue on the underside of his cock’s head.

A string of curses fall from Jaehyun’s lips as he finally found the final push he needed to come. White, hot liquid shoots into your mouth and amidst of you swallowing it, the remaining cum splashes onto your cupid’s bow, cheek, and chin. He cries out in anguish when you push yourself up to suck him dry with hollowed cheeks. As you fall back to bed, one last spurt escapes him and hits your brow.

Seeing it dribble down your eyelid, Jaehyun uses his thumb to swipe it off. Before he can clean his finger, you grab hold of his wrist and guide it to your mouth, collecting the salty substance with your tongue.

“Jesus christ, (Y/N).” Jaehyun exhales, feeling his cock twitch at the salacious scene.

“I just missed how you tasted.” You giggled, kissing his thumb. “Still delicious.”

He combs your sweat-slicked hair and chuckles, his ears turning red at the compliment, “Well, I’m sure you taste sweeter.”

You jut out your lower lip at him, “How would you know? You haven’t tasted me in months.”

“Oh?” His eyes glaze over once again, “Is that a challenge?”

“Baby,” You coo, “It’s an invitation.”

If his dimpled smile made you melt, a dimpled smirk made you melt in other places–places he was about to visit.

“Don’t mind if I do, then.” He trails a kiss from between your breasts down to your navel.

Your jaw drops when he arrives right at your core and does his magic.

You dip your head back down further on the bed, moaning at every flick of his tongue. You turn your head to the side and your eyes fall on the baseball bat from earlier. You had a clearer view of it this time.

You had a clearer view of the other end stained with dark red splatters.

Your blood ran cold and you froze up.

Jaehyun, realizing immediately that you had stopped responding to his actions, pulls away and looks at you. His gaze follows yours and once he spots what had grabbed your attention, he hovers above you and places a hand on either side of your head. “Look at me.” He commands.

“You couldn’t have…” You murmur, meeting his darkened eyes.

“He touched you.” He simply states, devoid of any emotion.

“Jaehyun!” You reprimand, but he cuts you off.

“He disrespected you, (Y/N). I wasn’t going to let that pass by!”

“How did you even know I was the bar? Were you following me?”

“I wanted to make sure you were safe!”

You push him off, scooting off the bed and picking out your clothes from the floor. This wasn’t something you wanted to discuss in the nude. “Well, I was! Yebin and Minkyung were there with me. We left before he could do anything else. You didn’t have to beat him up with a bat! Jesus christ! Jae! You’re wanted by campus police.”

“He got what he deserved, (Y/N).” He coolly shrugs his shoulders, grabbing his boxers and slipping them on while watching you dress.

“And what about those guys from the pool?” You suddenly remembered running into them the other day.

“I only meant to go after the one who couldn’t keep his eyes off you.” Jaehyun admits, “But his friends came looking for him, so I had to deal with them as well.”

“You took them by your–” You shut your eyes in frustration and disbelief. It felt like you didn’t even know the man in front of you. Shaking your head with a scoff, you avoid his piercing glare.

Another thought pops into your head, a scarier one that gave you goosebumps.

You look to the table and stare at the black face mask, “…w-were you the guy last night?”

“Yes. I was outside your window, too, when you masturbated.”

You gaped at him with horrified astonishment. “Why?” It took every fiber of your body not to start shaking from fear and disgust. “You scared me shitless!”

“That was the point.”

Your jaw drops, unable to formulate a proper response, nevertheless, Jaehyun continues.

“I had to scare you back to me.”

“What?!”

“I was losing you.” His voice finally breaks from the monotony and raises an octave higher. “You asked for an extension when I was at my limit. I missed you!”

“I was mad! You punched my best friend, Jaehyun! I had the right to be! And it didn’t mean you were losing me. I just needed time to cool down!” You pinch the bridge of your nose. Never, in the four years, you and Jaehyun have spent together did you argue like this. This was a completely different side to your boyfriend and all these revelations were giving you a headache. You needed time to process them. “I can’t do this.”

You make a move to leave but Jaehyun blocks your path.

“Can’t do what?” His voice had dropped and his eyes were practically black as the night. Taken aback from his demeanor, you were unable to respond to him, making him ask again in a raised voice. “Can’t do what, (Y/N)?!”

“Let me go, Jae. I need to go.”

“Go where? Who are you running of to, huh? Doyoung? Taeyong?”

“Why are you dragging Taeyong into this?”

Jaehyun scowls, “I saw you giving his picture a heart eyes react.”

“Oh my god!” You shout, “Do you hear yourself right now? So I liked his new photo because I thought his new hairstyle looked good. He’s our friend, remember? Jaehyun, please, let me leave.”

“And what? Extend our break even more? I don’t think so.” He reaches for your hand, but you move away. “(Y/N).”

“You’re honestly scaring me right now.” You back away until you feel the wall behind you. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Because I love you, (Y/N),” He steps forward, “Everything I do is for you. I have to protect you. If you could only see how other guys look at you, how they would undress you with their eyes–I, I can’t let them disrespect you like that. They need to know that you’re mine and I’m yours.”

“And if you really, really do love me, Jae,” Your eyes tear up, “You would let me leave.”

“No. W-why?” His eyebrows scrunched up in frustration “Do you want to break up?”

You swallow hard, “I’m really scared right now, Jaehyun. Just please give me time to think–”

“Answer me!” He yells, making you flinch in your spot. He traps you against the wall, “Are you thinking about breaking up with me?”

“I don’t feel safe with you right now.” You breathed. Your words were barely audible but they rang like sirens in Jaehyun’s ears.

He steps away from you, the emotions on his face have changed from hostile to defeated. His eyes are wet as they searched around the room for something, and they fell on the full length mirror attached to the bathroom door. Huffing, he takes two large steps towards it and swings as hard as he can.

You shrieked as his fist connected to the mirror, creating a large, cracked web onto it. You had expected him to stop, or at most react to the the pain of the blow, but he repeatedly punched the mirror, smashing chunks of the glass and sending them crashing to the floor.

“Jae, stop!” You yell, but it was as if he couldn’t hear you.

You found yourself grabbing his arms at the first sight of crimson staining the mirror. “Jaehyun!”

“Go away! I don’t want to hurt you,” He spares you a tormented glance. His cheeks were damp from tears already. “I can’t hurt you, so let me–”

He attempts to throw another punch, but you hold him back. Then both of you struggled with one another, until he nudges you away and faces you. “You hate me!” He cries.

You shake your head in denial, but he repeats himself.

“You hate me.”

“I never said that.” You squeaked, staring into his eyes.

“You wanted to break up.” Jaehyun grabs a fistful of his hair as he shuts his eyes.

“I never said that, either.” You quietly admonished, shakily reaching up to wipe his tears.

He had flinched away from your touch at first, snapping his eyes wide open like an injured beast being cornered, but the way you looked at him made him drop his defenses.

“I’m sorry.” He chokes out, sobbing like a little boy and your heart wrenches at the sight. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He repeats over and over until you pull him down, letting his head rest on the crook of your neck. “I can’t lose you, (Y/N). I can’t. I just wanted to protect you.”

“You’re not gonna lose me and you won’t.” You run one of your hands down his back while the other combed through his hair.

He pulls away, tears still flowing down his cheeks, “You’re not leaving me?”

You take in his expression; a mix of pain, anguish, confusion, guilt, and above all that, you see the expression that made you choose him and stay by his side: love.

“I mean, I have to go home sooner or later.” You cock your head, offering him an unsure smile in an endeavour to bring up his mood, and it sort of did. The briefest flash of his dimple with the curl of the corners of his lips told you that you had at least succeeded in making him laugh. “But I can spend the night if you want to.”

“I want you to.” He mumbles and you smile up at him.

“Then I’ll stay the night.” You pull him down until his forehead was touching yours. Playing with the short hairs on his nape, you whisper onto his lips, “I love you.”

A smile finally breaks out onto his face, lighting it up from the solemn mood “I love you, too.”

“Let’s get your hand cleaned up and wrapped, okay?” You kiss his cheek and lead him out the room, careful not to step on any glass shards.

The clock in the living room struck 12 and exhaustion seeped into your system. You were beginning to accept that there was something terribly wrong with your boyfriend’s psychological health. You should have ran away when you had the chance; you should have left when he, himself, told you to. But you remembered his eyes when he spared you a glance. Something in them switched like an on and off button when they were on you in comparison to when he had been punching the wall.

You look over your shoulder and up at Jaehyun, who sniffed as he inspected his bleeding knuckles.

Your friends have always told you how much he doted you.

Up until tonight, you had no idea just how devoted Jaehyun was to you.

devoted 2 part 1

devotee (jaehyun’s pov)

#nct #nct 127 #jung jaehyun #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun smut #nct scenarios #nct smut

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blouisparadise · 6 years

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Upon request, here is a list of bottom Louis fic recs where Harry and Louis are already in a relationship. There are a lot of good ones for this list, so this is only part one of the list - part two is here.

Happy reading!

1) Precious Little Diamond (I’ll Give It All To You) | Explicit | 2044 words

Alpha!Harry/omega!Louis PWP written for this textpost: Established relationship H/L with alpha!Harry just popping his knot in omega!louis and it’s his favourite part; just laying down and cuddling as they mate but louis just wriggles around in his lap until he can grab his xbox controller and starts playing video games with Harry still inside him and Harry’s like “??!?????!???!!!???” And louis’ like “oh shush it takes forever” and scores a goal on the game

2) Tie You Up and Make Me Scream | Explicit | 2166 words

AU where Harry teases Louis and it becomes a game until they cant handle it anymore and escape to have tent sex while the rest of the boys are in the other tents.

3) True North | Explicit | 2575 words

Note: This fic is locked and can be read by AO3 users only.

Altered-canon non-au set between November 2012 and January 7th, 2013.

4) What’s Yours Is Mine (What’s Mine Is Ours) | Mature | 2982 words

Prompt: Something about Louis always waiting until the last minute to pack his bag for tour so one time Harry does it for him and then they’re thousands of miles away by the time Louis figures out Harry hasn’t actually packed anything useful. Whether it’s because Harry is just genuinely useless at packing for other people or because he wants Louis to be forced to wear his clothes is up in the air. Also Louis refusing to wear Harry’s clothes out of pure spite until Harry makes it up to him.

5) Double Dog Dare Ya | Explicit | 3411 words

The one where the boys play some truth or dare and Harry has a one track mind.

6) A Touch Of Your Love | Explicit | 3856 words

Harry’s physical training has been intense. He wakes up before the sun to run. He spends long hours in the gym boxing and lifting weights.

Louis usually likes working out with Harry when they’re on tour, and even now he enjoys going on a run or boxing a bit with Harry. But Harry hasn’t seemed to stop moving since he accepted the role in Dunkirk. And it’s not that Louis always needs to be the center of Harry’s attention, but he very much wants to be.

7) It’s Your Soul That I’m Caught In Yet You Don’t Hear Me Call Your Name | Explicit | 4433 words

The one in which Harry goes out for a run in the early morning rain without telling Louis and Louis wakes up alone, cold and needy.

8) Hook’s Intention | Explicit | 5156 words

Harry hadn’t realized what, exactly, being the Captain Hook to Louis’ Peter Pan would entail.

9) But I Want You | Explicit | 5200 words

After their successful night at the VMAs, Harry can't keep his hands off Louis for long.

10) A Gentleman’s Arrangement | Explicit | 5205 words

Harry has been in the countryside, Louis has been trapped in town awaiting the London season, and three months apart is far, far too long.

11) ‘Cause Lately I’ve Been Waking Up Alone | Explicit | 5667 words

“Ow ow ow ow,” Harry continues cursing, hopping back and forth on the balls of his toes and trying uselessly to cradle his dick. Louis’s eyes fall to the sink, where he can see a torn-open package and what looks like a sheet of instructions.

“Clone-a-Willy?” he reads out loud, not sure he’s reading right.

...or, Harry gives Louis a very special sex toy for an early birthday present, and Louis uses it on Skype when Harry's in LA.

12) Power Inside | Explicit | 5861 words

Louis wrinkles his nose and pokes Harry again. “You want a baby,” he repeats.

Again, Harry frowns. “Uh, yeah, Lou, I want a baby. So do you.”

Where is this even going. Harry honestly has no clue.

Abruptly, Louis stops frowning and practically throws himself off of Harry, splaying himself out on his side of the bed, arms spread wide. “Okay. Let’s make a baby, then.”

Can eyebrows get permanently attached to a hairline? Harry has a feeling he’s going to find out. “You do realize - ” he starts.

“Yes, Harry, I realize,” Louis says, stroking his fingers over the inside of his own thigh, ruking his shorts up. “You gonna shut up about it and give me a baby or am I gonna have to go out and find someone else to fulfill my deepest desires?”

He’s a nutjob. He’s a complete nutjob. Harry’s in love with a complete nutjob.

13) We’ll Stumble Through Heaven | Explicit | 6504 words

Louis likes to be a good boy for his alpha.

14) You Drive Me Wild (You Know You Do) | Explicit | 6632 words

Their management informs them that they have an interview right before the ARIAs, and it isn't until he's in a suit, seated on a couch between Liam and Zayn, that he gets the idea.

The interviewer, Angus, smiles at them, right before the cameras roll on, and a metaphorical light bulb goes off inside Louis' head. He's perfect. Well, not as perfect as Harry, but enough. He's attractive, attractive enough to drive Harry crazy, and he doesn't even think of the consequences of his actions, just decides right then. It's all Harry's fault anyway. Louis should be allowed to have a little fun.

15) I’m Broken, Do You Hear Me? | Explicit | 6957 words

Louis starts acting weird and distant around Harry, and it takes Harry a little while to put together what's wrong. When he finally does, he's determined to help Louis see just how much he loves every piece of him.

16) Back Where I Belong | Explicit | 7217 words

Harry’s trying to have a conversation with Nick, who he hasn’t seen in nearly three months, but the way Nick’s eyes keep darting over his shoulder every few seconds is quite distracting.

It’s ironic, because at least a quarter of the reason that he’s even talking to Nick in the first place is because he needs a distraction. He’s all too aware of exactly what’s going on behind his back.

Nick is the one who finally brings it up. “Do you think he’s doing it to spite you?”

“He’s definitely doing it to spite me,” Harry answers tightly, resisting the urge to crane his neck around so he can see. He clutches his drink a little tighter, trying to keep his tenuous control over his own movements.

17) Call Me Shallow But I’m Only Getting Deeper | Explicit | 7367 words

The one where Louis is a brat so Harry spanks him with a riding crop.

18) Rated R | Explicit | 7635 words

Louis gifts Harry with a surprise sex tape, and it accidentally makes its way into Harry's family Christmas party. Ridiculousness ensues.

19) Under the Vanilla Sky | Explicit | 8006 words

Who the hell wears a hat like that on a yacht? That's one of the things Louis thinks when he sees Harry from across the deck of the most expensive, ridiculous boat he's ever been on. He also thinks he'd like to get closer. Just to see what's under those aviators. Just to verify that, yes, in fact, those white swim trunks might be a little see-through when wet. Just to see if someone could really be that hot in real life. On a yacht. In the Caribbean sea just off the coast of St. Barts.

Here's what really happened on that yacht.

20) Love To Make Him Moan | Explicit | 8106 words

Note: This fic is locked and can be read by AO3 users only.

They fuck like they're sex starved, when they're really, really not.

21) Give It Up To Me | Explicit | 8134 words

"You're going to end up making me come with all the boys in our lounge," he finished, his tone softening the longer he spoke.

"And?" Harry murmured, placing his palm over the crevice of Louis' arse, keeping the plug nice and tight inside of him. "What if I wanted you to?"

22) Love Me in Between the Future and the Past | Explicit | 10991 words

Set during the 2013 VMAs.

Harry's scared of history repeating itself.

23) Read You For Some Kind Of Poem | Mature | 11969 words | Sequel

He likes to imagine that he’s always aware of Harry’s eyes on him, but the spark that flashes across his body at how often Harry licks his lips while looking at his throat doesn’t feel like something he’s explicitly and consciously acknowledged before, but it feels familiar. Usual. Right.

24) In A World Apart | Explicit | 11973 words

During their off time in LA, Harry is reminded just how much he loves Louis.

25) End Of The World Tonight | Explicit | 12069 words

“You remember when you told me that you wanted to live with me for the rest of your life?” Louis asks. His voice trembles a bit, exposing exactly how much he hates what he’s about to do. How much he wishes that he wasn’t about to do it.

“I remember,” Harry says. His expression is a little lost, like he thinks that they’re about to have a fight and he’s not sure what they’re supposed to be fighting about. Louis closes his eyes because he has to, has to take a second to regain his courage. He can’t keep doing this. He can’t keep suffering, can’t keep killing himself trying to hide this. He’s ready. He’s been ready for a long time.

26) Know You Got That Thing (That I Like) | Explicit | 15798 words

In all the ways he thought about their reunion going, watching Louis finger himself open was not on the list.

27) 210 Days | Explicit | 16341 words

Harry is in the army and Louis is back in New York. Together, they get through Harry's six month leave by sending a series of letters back and forth. They've done it before, and they can do it again.

28) Temporary Tattoos, Hotel Hearts, Horizon Homes | Explicit | 17965 words

Note: This fic is locked and can be read by AO3 users only.

Louis is just 18 and ends up in 2015 for one day at Harry’s request, one day to make sure his spirit is strong and hopeful enough to take him to the X Factor and end him up where he’s supposed to be. Aka, the one where Harry makes sure Louis knows how amazing he is.

29) Can’t Fool Me | Explicit | 30162 words

AU where Louis hates fraternities and would never be into a frat boy. And one of these things is definitely not a lie.

30) Drowning In Your Eyes | Explicit | 45140 words

The Pirates of the Caribbean inspired au where Harry is a fierce pirate who holds the heart of a beautiful merman.

31) Such Good Luck | Explicit | 66205 words

Louis smiles at Harry’s words, leaning into his touch. “Tell me again.”

Smiling, Harry takes Louis into his arms. Pressing gentle kisses to his face, Harry murmurs, “In six months’ time, I will have my twenty-fifth birthday. On that day, my portion of the inheritance will become legally mine. And I plan that very day to announce to my family that I have found love.” Harry chuckles as he runs his lips lightly along Louis’ cheekbone. “That, in fact, I found love when I was twenty-one years old, and that I have loved and been loved every day since.”

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#blp #fic recs #blp fic recs #bottom louis #top harry #established relationship

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