#no 9 needs to be told this lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

after-nine-at-the-oasis · 24 days

Text

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH STILL FREAKING OUT OH MY GOSH

Y'all I'm losing it

HUAAAGHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH FIRST DATE

LOL YEAH I'M TENSE TOO

AUGUHAH HE'S ADMITTING IT FIRST DATE WITH A MAN OHHHH MY GOSH I'M NOT OKAY LOL

THIS BETTER BE AN ACTUAL DATE BC THAT WOULD BE AWKWARD

SPFIENAIMCLS IT'S A GROUP DATE

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH EDDIE'S HEREEEEE

OR IS IT ON ACCIDENT MAYBE O.O

IS HE GONNA THINK THEY'RE JUST THERE AS BUDDIES O.O (BUDDIE LOL)

OR IS HE GONNA THINK HE WAS BI THIS WHOLE TIME BUT BUCK WAS THE ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW

Oh my gosh I'm freaking out

I'm not okay

What the heck

(edit starts here)

Ope a guy with his hand

OPE OH GOSH

That's not good o.o

Not really matching your message sir xD

Oh goshh o.o 😳😬

OH GOSH BUCK

Me when I saw the promo again a little while later: OH MY GOSH HOW DID I FORGET THAT BIT

Gosh. Wow

(end of edit)

Okay, that's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm not okay

I LOVED THIS EPISODE SO MUCH!!! OH MY GOSH. This is the anti feeling to last night when I watched tgd and the end killed me for an entirely different reason THE GAYS ARE WINNNINGGGGGG!!!! I'm not okay. Anyway IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! Genuinely though all the plots throughout were really good and there were a TON of good moments. Plus the crossover with The Bachelor was GREAT lol. I need to go back and watch those first two minutes but I will update the post slfjdfhs. Now, I'm going to make a quick celebration post and maybe rewatch that clip if possible, and then I'll be back because I can't possibly put off this review xD. Oh my gosh I'm having so many thoughts.

OKAY AAHHH HI ME FROM THE NEXT DAY I was literally freaking out so much (and still am) that I couldn't do it and I kept procrastinating and then I fell asleep lol xD. I have continued to procrastinate (and I had things to do) but!! Here I am :)).

First though, I'm going to go back to the promo bit and add the second half because apparently I completely forgot about it, and I have since watched it a couple of times xD.

Okay!! Now, let's talk about some other bits of the episode xdd.

The Bachelor crossover was so fun!!! I've never seen The Bachelor lol but it was a great story, great call xD. And everyone freaking out SLFKGHDKS!! Maddie and Josh fighting over the call to Chimney giving them spoilers to Eddie siccing the girls on Buck to Bobby and Hen going 👁️👄👁️. And that poor girl xdd. Also the "Do I have to?" "I wouldn't" just killed me xDD. Glad she's okay though :)). Sucks she'll never have her chance lol. But hey, she got to talk to him :)!! Wild xD. Anyway, I think was a super fun thing to throw in there for the 100th episode :DD. It's also interesting to see a reality show crossover with a fiction show xD. Had a fun time with it!!

Maddie and Chim!! They were so funny at the beginning xD. Her sending the 118 was wild lol. Also I loved her face to him later when he was talking about how cool Tommy was right after Buck was complaining about him (😏😏) xDD. They're idiots your honor lol <33. Anyway, Chimney slayed on the calls today 🥰. Especially figuring out the head trauma for that poor woman! Nice job my guy :)). Also, I didn't notice it until I saw subtitles later but "I'm your basketball beard" AUGHWUOGIH!!!! XDD SLFJDGLKDS HE'S SO WILD FOR THAT O.O. Anyway he did genuinely slay, loved him supporting Buck lol :)). I'm sure there was some brother in law bonding in there xD. Maddie slayed on calls too!! I really loved her conversations with Buck though :D :)). The brunch one was sweet and kind of silly, plus the "Is it circled with a heart?" line was SO GOOD LOL SLFJDHS XDD. Idiot <33 (Buck more than anything but it's all affectionate I promise). Also I really loved Maddie's reaction to Buck talking about maybe accidentally purposefully injuring Eddie. It completely makes sense for her character and I'm really glad it was in there, it added some great depth <33. Though the storyline itself has depth!! Especially after the ending lol. Anyway, poor Maddie with her story about the Sarah's :(( xd. That sucks :'(. I do kind of know how it is (not quiiite as close) and it really can be awful xd. Dyeing your hair is a wild step xD. Plus SLFKGJDS "I would've changed both names" oh my gosh XDDD 💀. Also nice on her for calling Buck out for acting like a teenage girl lol. Anyway, love her, and Chimney <33.

Hen and Ravi!! We didn't see much of either of them this episode but they were great :DD. Poor Ravi xD. Bro had no clue what was going on with anything ever lol. He didn't even know who Tommy was! After all the drama he caused!! Poor guy's out of the loop (well for the drama he would cause, is what I meant) lol. They both slayed this episode though :DD!! Hen was great on the house invasion call and the Bachelor call :)). Love them <333.

Bobby, Athena, and Harry!! AYYY Harry :DD!! Welcome back man 🥰. Seeing him greet Athena and Bobby was so nice :'D. It's nice to have him back :')). Sucks to have a change in actors (Marcanthonee will be missed!!) but I'm sure he's gonna be great :)). Elijah, I believe his name is? Welcome aboard dude :DD! Anyway, his return isn't under the best of circumstances o.o. Love Bobby knowing, or being suspicious yk, and called Michael (they are my besties your honor 🥰🥰, I love them <33). Also really glad he told Athena immediately and didn't turn to hide it or anything 😬 :)). Anyway, glad he was so supportive <33. That whole thing was wild though o.o 😬😬😳. It really sucks so much that that happened :((. Harry didn't deserve that, and he was totally valid in his anger and wanting to respond. I don't think he should've beaten the guy up, but I get it. It sucks that he was to be a representative but that's how it is :'((. Hopefully it'll change one day. Also his conversation with Athena about it all and whether she cares more about being a cop or his mom OOUFGH O.O. That bit hit HARD 😬😭. He did have a bit of a point, but I'm glad he apologized <33. And that Athena was more understanding the second time. On a lighter note, her waking up him by pouring a bucket of water on him was amazing LOL xD. Anyway, seeing his reaction to the video hurt so much :((( 😭😭😭💔. It really is awful to see yourself angry. I only tend it see it in writing and it still sucks and is hard xdd. But HALLELUJAH YAYY he's not being charged, at least with prison time that is :')). And he's sticking around :DD!! I'm sure it'll be difficult with Athena monitoring his community service and such but I think it'll be really fun storyline wise :)). Also Athena having to tell that mom that she shot her son 😭😭😭💔💔🥺🥺. That was so awful, I'm so sorry honey <33? And that poor lady 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔. Her acting was amazing <333. It's such an awful situation and I hope she manages to be as okay as she can be :'((. Pooe guy <33 he seemed great :'( :'). Anyway, love them all (the three I said lol) <33 🥰🥰.

It's time.

Well time to talk about the rest of it besides that one part of the ending lol.

Buck and Eddie, and Tommy!! BROOK this was so wild o.o xD. The jealousy was painful 😭, but I also kinda loved it, it was hilarious xD. It really sucks that Buck was feeling left out, and I do think they were kind of leaving him out, but I don't think it was at all intentional. Eddie invited him to basketball several times, and the other things were things he and Tommy already had plans for. He even seemed excited when he thought Buck was going to come to the fight with them (which that bit HURT by the way lol 💀)!! He did seem kinda shady asking Buck to watch Chris but I'm sure it was an accident xDD. He's just an idiot your honor lol <33. I do wish he was a little more obvious about not blaming Buck when he got injured, but like, he was in a whole lot of pain with a possibly broken ankle xD. It's understandable lol and I don't blame him. I also don't think Tommy was trying to exclude Buck! H was happy to see Buck throughout the episode, he gave him a tour, planned to give him flying lessons!! It was just a really unfortunate situation and Buck wasn't communicating (as he admitted at the end lol). Poor Buck though through all of it 😭😭💔🥺. I know it was kind of on him for not communicating but it just sucks being left out :((, I totally get it. You don't wanna say anything and be told you're overreacting or for people to think it's weird, and you don't wanna be possessive or anything, but it sucks and you miss them :((. I know how it feels xD xd. Still, I'm really glad he was getting aware of it, and he listened to the help from Maddie lol <3.

I think the conversation at the end was a really good way of wrapping it all up. Seeing everyone's side (Eddie's opinion given by Tommy but honestly he wasn't really as involved in the problem lol), and having everyone apologize. Also then them hyping each other up :')). I do find it interesting to see and outside perspective to the 118! We're so used to the family that is the 118 and the 126 that we don't really think about the fact that it's probably not like that for most people xdd. It wasn't even really like that when Tommy was there. And it makes sense for him to be jealous over it!! It's completely understandable and a really cool perspective to see :)). Although I will agree with Buck lol, he's pretty cool on his own lol.

Now, seeing as I was freaking out and forgot half the previous lines, I'm going to say what I thought/my reactions to a few specific lines and everything as it started to ramp up xD.

By the way, I have watched this scene (or at least parts of it) like. 20 times now. And some of it I'm still trying to remember as I freak out once again right now lol xD. So keep that in mind lol.

When they were talking about the mouths static was hilarious xD. In all fairness, it wasn't great lol.

And then the Muay Thai (I think that's how it's spelled?), the after flying lessons bit and "Not in the same day"??? AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! That's where I started to really get stressed and suspicious and in shock xDD. I was like um. what was that. XD.

And then. Buck admitting he was trying to get TOMMY'S attention o.o. I genuinely wasn't expecting it but looking back on the episode it all makes sense yk o.o. Honestly I don't think even Buck really realized that was it until during that conversation, especially given his tone shift. And the Tommy's face afterward 😭. Bro is surprised xD. And I'm going to be completely honest, I thought Buck was saying "I didn't mean my best friend" there and not "I did maim best friend" until like the tenth time I watched it o.o xDD. The first one was wild, a self denial of Buddie because he's oblivious xDD. The second one makes more sense but is equally as wild o.o lol. He's realizing that just before he says it xD. And maim is dramatic but he did injure Eddie 😬🥺. Anyway, the next bit.

You know.

The moment.

"My sister says there's better ways to get someone's atten-" AND HE K I S S E D HIM!!!!! WHEN. I. TELL. YOU. I. LOST. MY. MINDDDD!!!!

It was so wild oh my gosh. You can look at my liveblog for more freaking out about that xD (and probably later in this post lol. And also in anything I've reblogged about it xD). I can still barely believe it's real. That it happened xd. I realized a little while ago that I have no idea what I'd do if Buddie actually got together, and I felt some of that feeling here. We thought for SO LONG,l we wouldn't have it, had kind of lost hope, and then BOOM!!!! I know I had hope for this episode but it wasn't SERIOUS, not really!! Hope but "I expect it.not to happen, no matter how hard I hope xdd". And we may not have gotten Buddie BUT WE DID GET BISEXUAL BUCK!!!!!!! I'm genuinely still so happy about that oh my gosh. I meant to make a post earlier but I was grinning in the hallway at school xD.

Now, AFTER THE KISS WAS SO WILD TOO AAAAHHHHHH.

OKAY I'm back for a third time lol, later in the day xD. Had a lot to do but now I'm here!

Anyway AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I barely even registered the sus stuff they were saying beforehand because I was in such shock, and the same goes for afterwards xD. I was just SCREEEAMING!!

But!! Some of these being my thoughts having watched it 20 times, and some of them being what I thought at the time, THE MOUTH STATIC COMMENT 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥺 XD. Also we love Tommy asking if it was okay 🥺🥺🥺❤️🥰 :'). Anyway, it's the way Buck is just absolutely speechless. The only thing he has is the mouth static comment and that's it xD. All he had laid out lol. It's so cute to see him flustered and speechless :')). Also the fact that some of it comes from this revelation he just had (not just being a bi disaster, but discovering he's a bi disaster) is so good <333. And I just- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!! HE'S F R E E!!! AT 8 ON SATURDAY SURE BUT HE'S F R E E 😭😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥰🥰😎!!! ACCIDENTAL SUNGLASSES BUT WE'RE KEEPING IT. LIKE THE WAY HE SAID IT AUGOAUHUGIH HE. IS FREE!!

I'm so not okay over that <33

Anyway I love that Tommy does all the talking lol, he knows Buck can't and is short circuiting but he still has a conversation with him xD :).

And just AAAAHHHHHHHH THEY'RE GOING ON THEIR FIRST DATE!! IT'S SATURDAY AT 8 BRO!!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AUUUUAGHHHHHH!!

I mean I know you all do but you know lol.

Also Tommy telling Buck to call Eddie xD. Yeeeah, honestly seems like a good time to call and talk to him if he's on pain pills lol. Buck might have trouble speaking though, given he's still having a queer crisis xD. Kinda crisis, kinda discovery. Skipped some of that stage lol.

Buck's final look of the episode just destroys me :')). He's so baffled and happy your honor <33.

Now here's someone I'll say that I've been thinking of about the whole thing. Buck's tone changed, his vibe changed, something in his eyes changed, during that scene. Around the flying lessons bit xD. You can tell. I think he felt it, he just wasn't exactly sure what it was. And whatever he thought it was was probably terrifying (assuming he guessed correctly or knew lol). I think, if Tommy hadn't done something, he would've just let it go, let the moment pass. And, especially if he's done the same thing before, I think he would've pushed it away enough that he stopped thinking about it. I don't know if he has ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. But it makes me think of a Buck who had Moments, who Wondered, and then dismissed them immediately because there was no way, he Couldn't. Or it was something he couldn't quite place. So he left it alone and forgot about it.

Idk. All I know is I don't think he would've made a move if Tommy hadn't lol, even if he was feeling the vibes xD.

Anyway, I've been genuinely so ill over all of this for literal days now. It's just past midnight on Friday for me lol. I'm just going so insane over it.

Today a question of the day in one of my classes was "What's a moment from tv/movies/musicals that impacted you?", you know something wild or epic or emotional or whatever, that impacted you. And, though it's far from the first time it's happened to me, I said this. Buck realizing he was bisexual. I don't think some people realize (though surely most of us on Tumblr do): This is a masculine, main character (honestly the main character) on an extremely popular mainstream television show, that after 7 seasons realized he was bisexual, and he's not a trope. It is profoundly impactful. Still definitely give credit where it's due to shows that have been doing it since the beginning (Lone Star, for example), but this is huge. They finally CAN do it. And I'm so happy for them, and proud of Buck :')).

Also quick note I just love how much Oliver is committed to and knows his character. The fact that he withdrew media wise because he agreed with us?? Wild. But he genuinely loves Buck so much, probably more than any of us, and he fights so hard to do him right <33. I'm so proud of, but more importantly, happy for him :')). He's been waiting so long for this and he totally deserves it, he absolutely slayed it <33. His acting was AMAZING, as always. I mean it's always great but this was just top both xD :'D. Anyway, thank you Oliver <3.

And thank you to everyone else on the show who worked to make this happen!!! And everyone in the fandom who fought for this!

I still genuinely can't believe it xd. It's just- amazing <3.

Also, quick think on Buddie: I do still want Buddie long-term. But I think Buck and Tommy could be cute, and no matter what I'm just excited to see where it goes for now :)). I actually kind of think it's better that Buck doesn't date Eddie first, for him and for us (a likelihood of them staying together). He needs to discover/explore/understand this new part of himself, and that might require branching out a bit :). Plus it's just good for him to get to be out there and live how he wants to, not worrying about endgame right now. I think Buddie will happen one day, but for now I am absolutely happy with this <333. I think it's gonna be great, and I am so excited :D.

One last scream:

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! It was sooo good, and not just The Moment. All the calls were cool and interesting, including the crossover, which was fun. Everyone's individual storylines were good, and even through a lot of silly moments, packed and stuffed with emotion :'). Plus all the little throwbacks to episode 1, and the series in general, were great and really awesome :'DD. Also, just thinking about the impact of the kiss being in the 100th episode <33. Wow. So insane (me) <33. Anyway, Buck and Tommy was wild but they were cute, I'm glad Buck and Eddie are doing better. I'm also glad everything got worked out between Athena and Harry <33. The situation sucks but I think we made the best out of it :')). I loved the Buck and Maddie interactions and moments this episode, they were great <33. I wish we got a few more team moments, or full family moments, for the 100th episode, but that's a small thing :) ❤️. I still THOROUGHLY enjoyed it and I thought it was just absolutely amazing.

So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was super great. There were a bunch of fun storylines, which I don't want to forget about in light of the last scene. I'm so excited for the next episode! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 4: Buck, Bothered, and Bewildered

It was so amazing. I'm so excited but so nervous for the next episode! I'm sure it'll work out fine but it looks wild. I'll be back here next week for my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 5: You Don't Know Me

See you next week!!

#9-1-1 #911 #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc #911 spoilers #9-1-1 spoilers #evan buckley #he deserves it lol #I talked about him a LOT #also that episode title terrifies me #I'm sure it'll all end up fine but xd #if buck says that to eddie at any point I will actually absolutely lose my mind #I would love it for the angst and the drama #but it would hurt soo much #I don't think it will #but you never know xD #I do think/know that everything will work out okay though :'))#I'm still freaking out so much :'DD #I've written 377 words of a fic and I've seen the kiss scene like 25 times xD #or at least parts of it #I'm just going so insane <33 #got to freak out with someone irl earlier and it was great lol I needed that xD #kinda with two people #one knew and one didn't but was okay with spoilers. was still SHOCKED when we told them though LOL #anyway!!!#anyway!! so not okay :')). but I am genuinely living my best life /gen #I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!#byeeee :))) <333 🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!!

10 notes · View notes

tojikai · 3 months

Text

Sundered 9: RESOLVE

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments, mentions of abortion

word count: 7.8k

a/n: sorry, it took so long. i had problems lol mb

You can’t remember at what point everything started going right but you’re not complaining.

“I don’t think I can continue like this. I don’t think we should continue like this.”

“Like what?” You looked up at him, a look of worry filling your wide eyes. He stared down at you with an expression you can’t read. You felt his hands trail beside you, before cupping your cheeks, kissing your lips softly. “Toji, was I not-” And he was quick to quell you

“No, Y/N. It’s not on you, stop putting everything on yourself, baby.” He hates that the first thing you think when something fails is your fault. He hates that he’s making you feel like you’re the only one who needs to put in the work.

After your arguments, Toji’s been thinking that his emphasis on how you’re being pointlessly jealous of a dead person is why you think you’re the only one who has to make big adjustments. That’s probably why you think you have to put in the most effort to make this work.

“Then, what is it? I thought we were doing well, Toji.” The worried look on your face mixed with frustration as you took a step back from him, rubbing your face with your hands. “We are doing well, Y/N.” He was firm with his answer, and you know he’s telling the truth. But why? “We work so well together. But this isn’t the relationship we deserve.” He sighed.

“That doesn’t make sense, Toji.” You pursed your lips, emotions getting stronger. “If we work so well together, then how can you say that this isn’t what we deserve?” You sat on the bed, patiently waiting for an answer.

“We deserve to be in a relationship where we don’t have to remind ourselves how we should be constantly.” Toji mentally cursed himself for putting you in such a situation early in the morning but he doesn’t think he could sleep another peaceful night with everything in his mind.

“Relationships are things that flow naturally, Y/N. You do not do things just because you have to, or just because somebody told you to do it. You shouldn’t feel like you have to remind yourself what to do.” He breathed heavily, sounding as if he’d been practicing this in his head for a while now. “Is that how you feel with me?” You tried him, only to get the question back.

“Is that not how you feel with me?” Your silence answered his question. There was a pool of hot liquid in your eyes that you wouldn’t allow to fall. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Think of the strain that you’ve been putting on yourself, Y/N. Tell me you had not once thought of letting it all go even just for a second.”

A sob erupted from your throat; one that you didn’t see coming. It’s a thought you always choose to ignore because you really want to try hard for him, for this thing to work. Now, you understand when they say that sometimes it’s more painful to hold on than to let go.

As if getting burnt by holding on to a rope too tightly, hoping that the other end would stop pulling away.

But right now, Toji’s slowly being torn away from you. And you can’t do anything about this unbearable pain that feels like it could tear you apart; limb for limb. You realize that even if he doesn’t pull away, you’d still end up being hurt for this rope that you are holding on to is too far out of your reach.

“Toji… I don’t know, I thought I found something good with you. And now it just felt like I’m losing all of it like I’m losing—” Toji quickly shushed you, hugging you ever so tightly to him and it scared you. It almost felt like he was letting you memorize the comfort of his body against yours because this was the last time you’d be feeling it.

“You’re not losing me, love.” He consoled you and though, you can’t express it, the words brought you comfort. “I just don’t think we’re meant to be in this setup but that doesn’t mean you’re losing me.” And just like that, the pain was back again.

“Do I not deserve it?” You asked him, almost flinching at your words when you promised yourself you’d never ask anyone that. Toji sighed, taking both of your hands and bringing them to his lips. “Not this. You deserve more than this. You deserve to be genuinely happy without sacrificing anything, without feeling spent.”

You can’t remember, or more like you chose not to carve into your memory how that day ended. The only image you can see in your head is how he cuddled you to sleep, woke you up to eat with him and the kids, and went home. You remember him saying that they could always visit. And you hated yourself for doubting him.

“Mama, look it.” You heard your baby talking to you as she showed you the screen of your phone. It was Toji. It surprised you that you weren’t crying, or hurting as much as you thought you would. Maybe it’s because of the reassurance that you received from him.

And it’s not something like hoping that you’d be back together again but it’s more of a security that you didn’t just lose such a good man in your life; even as a friend. “Yeah?” You answered, pulling your toddler closer to you just as she started to move near the edge of the bed. “Just wanna know how you're doing.”

You chuckled, finding it funny that your now ex is calling you, indirectly checking if you’re still crying. It’s normal for him to expect that kind of thing but the difference between this and other breakups is that you actually ended on good terms and with valid reasons, seeking only the best for each other.

“I am a bit ok, surprisingly.” You answered, you heard a sigh from the other end of the line and a tiny laugh from Megumi, probably watching something on his iPad. You looked at your daughter, thinking if she’ll start looking for her little friend tomorrow and how you’re going to handle that.

“I’m sorry.” You rubbed your eyes, humming at his words. “This is for the best, I guess.” You spoke, remembering how you used to tell that to yourself when you found out that Satoru got himself a new girlfriend; throwing all his promises out the window and choosing to move forward away from you.

“You know Yui can still come over for play dates, right?” He spoke as if reading your mind. Toji knows of your concern about this matter as you expressed it earlier to him. Yui has spent a lot of time with Megumi and you know how she is with him because he’s her real first close friend.

“I won’t mind if she’ll be dropped off by Satoruf, he could even accompany her with you guys. I won’t mind, really. I know Megumi will ask for Yui.” He laughed lightly, patiently waiting for your answer, only to receive a hum.

“Y/N, you’re free to make decisions now—” You know that he’s talking about your reconciliation with Satoru but to be very honest, that’s not in your mind right now. You might be yearning for that whole family, and you can see Satoru’s progress but that doesn’t mean you can just bounce back like that.

“I don’t know, that’s not how I really feel, I think I should focus on building myself as an independent person for now.” You pursed your lips and you could just imagine him nodding his head to your words. “It’ll happen if it’s meant to happen.” You know that Yui needs her father, and you know that if she could talk to you right now, she’d probably wish for the two of you to be together with her.

But you want to know if this thing you’re feeling for Satoru is real or if it’s only because you longed to give your daughter that fulfillment. It’s not a bad thing to want that for her but you don’t know if you can handle another heartbreak for rushing things. “I’ll just let things be for now.” You added, sighing deeply.

The conversation with Toji went on for a couple of minutes before you said your goodbyes. You know it won’t be like this every night and that makes your chest squeeze but it’d only feel like forcing things if you asked him for that. You’ll move forward. Like you always do. Your child is growing and maybe it’s about time she learns something valuable from you.

—---------------------------------------

“Da!” The little girl squealed as her father entered your apartment. She got up and ran to him, almost tripping on one of her toys. “Careful. I’m not going away.” He picked her up, kissing her cheek. You closed the door behind you, rushing to kick away the things on the floor. It’s still a bit messy because you’re trying to get her ready for the day before you head to work.

“You’re early.” You spoke to him, watching them sit on the couch. “I’m…uh, cooking something. Have you had breakfast?” You bite your top lip as you turn away from them. “I had coffee.” Yui was trying to put a clip on his hair, laughing when she thought she got it done. “Come, eat with us, then.” You picked your daughter up, heading to the kitchen.

“Mama! ‘Gumi?” You put her in her chair, sighing lightly at the mention of her playmate. It has been almost three weeks and you still haven’t told Satoru about what happened with Toji and you. He’s not asking either, but you can tell he’s curious, eyeing you as he enters the small kitchen.

“He’s at daycare. Maybe next week, when Mama’s not busy, alright?” You spoke, placing the food in front of her, and pressing on the plate to make sure that it was stuck on the surface. “Haven’t seen them around.” Satoru cleared his throat, playing it cool as he didn’t want to seem like he was intruding into your “love life.”

“They, uh, they won’t be around so much anymore.” You put the plates on the table, tucking a hair behind your ear as you turned. Satoru pursed his lips, not wanting to pry any longer but the next sentence made his eyebrows raise. “We kinda…Toji and I broke up. So, if not for the kids, we won’t-“

“Since when?” If it was before Satoru would probably be thinking about how this is a chance for him but right now, as he sat on that kitchen table, all he could feel was worry. He thinks that you really love Toji and he became your rock during the times when your baby daddy’s acting up.

“Almost three weeks ago. It’s, uh, nothing too heavy. The relationship just became too much.” Satoru doesn’t know if it’s right for him to say “sorry.” He’s scared that it might break you and he doesn’t want to see you cry again.

He made you cry many times and he hated himself for it. He can’t help but feel like any anger he might harbor towards Toji would be… invalid. “I didn't think dating when you both already have kids would be so different than when you don’t.” You chuckled half-heartedly.

“We just don’t think it could stand in the long run, so…” You shrugged, finally sitting down after you placed the glass pitcher on the table. You peeked at Satoru, attempting to read the expression on his face.

“Look, I know Yui’s always been our priority but if you need a bit of time for yourself, you know you can leave Yui with me.” He cracked his knuckles, not sure of how to help you with this. “You should take a break from work, if you think that’s what you need, I will-“ You placed a hand on his arm, stopping him.

There’s not much he can offer that wouldn’t make it look like he’s trying to take advantage of the situation. That’s the last thing he wants you to think. He thought you were a bit gloomy during the past couple of weeks and assumed it was just a lover’s quarrel or something.

“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You let out a laugh, retracting your hand away as you reached for the towel to wipe your daughter’s food-stained cheek. “Megumi and Yui still play together, I mean they’re besties now, right?” Yui giggled at the mention of her friend.

“That’s nice, he’s her first friend.” Satoru smiled genuinely. Aside from Yui’s occasional babbles, Satoru and you ate in silence. Eating together at your home is beginning to become a normal, regular thing now. And for some reason, it doesn’t worry you anymore.

Getting Yui ready took a bit more time than it should have when she wanted her Dad to pick her clothes. Of course, none of you could say no. You quickly brought out your phone to take a photo of her and her father, holding hands as they stood before the clothes she took out of her drawer.

“It’s chilly. You can’t wear that.” You commented on the shirt she brought out. With a pout on her lips, she continued to pull on her clothes. “We’ll pair it with something. Yeah?” Satoru consoled her, earning a smile from the little girl. “I’ll make the two of you fold all of that.” You joked before turning to pick up a few scattered clothes.

You checked her bag one last time, counting all the things she needed in your mind. You can hear her laughing as Satoru struggles to put on her boots. She is the happiest when he’s in the house. You fear that she’ll soon start asking about why her father lives in a different house, unlike most kids.

“You don’t have to worry so much if she left something. We’ll probably be here tomorrow, you know how she is.” Satoru laughed, lifting the child. It’s true that even during the days when she’s supposed to be with her dad, she still asks him to see you. There was one time when they showed up at your work and everybody thought that you’re back together.

“It could be something important.” You sighed, leaning in to give your daughter a kiss. “Be good.” She nodded her head, wiggling her brows in the process, knowing that it never fails to make you laugh. Satoru can’t help but stare, statued by how close you are to each other; paralyzed by the fact that this could’ve been better if he never did what he did.

“Don’t forget the face creams at night, please.” You reminded him, stepping away as you locked eyes. “Of course.” He took the bag, walking towards the door with you trailing closely behind them. “Buh-bye!” She waved at you from her car seat. You watched as Satoru made sure it was locked before closing the door behind him.

“See you in a few days, Mama.” He spoke playfully, and you know that he’s just trying to say it for your daughter but it made your heart swell for some reason, a blush forcing its way to your cheek. This has been happening a lot with him, even when you were still with Toji. You tried to convince yourself that you were just “caught off guard.”

Work kept you busy for the whole day. It wasn’t long until you found yourself on your couch, smiling at the video Satoru sent you. Yui was holding an elephant bowl full of ice cream, focused on the movie playing on the screen. Their matching lilac pajamas made everything more adorable. After sending a reply, you put your phone down.

Days and weeks went by fast. Megumi and Yui played at the park together last week. You thought it’d be awkward but it was pretty much the same with Toji minus the intimacy. He was still chill to be with and he was still very caring towards you. And you admired him for all of it.

“I ran into them at the mall once. I think they went toy shopping.” He spoke, looking over at the kids as they struggled to understand how to make the seesaw work on their own. “Oh yeah, he mentioned that one time.” You replied, before giving a warning to your daughter who’s now so ready to climb the metal board.

Your mind went back to the image of Satoru coming in with boxes and bags, and a little kid trailing behind him, holding on to the hem of his jacket. He couldn’t even carry her because of everything but she was overjoyed, showing off her new stuff.

“You can’t leave all that here. Her room isn’t big, Satoru.” You sighed, picking your daughter up, “You already have so many toys.” You reminded her but she wasn’t listening at all. “It’s alright, I’ll bring them to my house,” Satoru spoke as he put them on the couch.

Sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever save up enough to get a bigger space for you and Yui. Satoru once brought it up, offering help but you don’t want that. You’re not together, so to you, being able to provide and improve on your own for your daughter is a goal. You trust that things’ll get better for you, even if you’re alone.

“You two working it out?” Toji's voice brought you out of your memory. You looked at him for a couple of seconds, and he just stared back at you, like he just asked the most normal question an ex could ask. “N-no. He’s not even trying, I mean he never even explicitly tried to show any hint. I doubt that any of us are thinking about that right now.” You rambled and he just nodded.

You didn’t mean to blurt out something like that so casually. But in all honesty, that made you more comfortable and less tense about all of this. He doesn’t make you feel awkward at all. He doesn’t make you feel like you’re stuck in your past with him. It’s almost as if he’s just been a friend, a very close one, all this time.

There was a moment of easy silence between the two of you. You can only hear the noises from the other kids and the two in front of you. But it wasn’t long until it was broken by Toji. “He loves you, you know?” You feel like even the sound of your breaths paused. “I’m not saying that you should force yourself to try again with him. I just want you to know that Satoru genuinely loves you.”

Thinking about it now, you realize that you and Toji never really talked like this about your relationship with Satoru before. It’s always just the problems and the past that you always claimed to be only bitter memories now.

Toji leaned back on the chair, not caring if you were answering or not. He’s good at sensing the atmosphere, and you’re not in a way bothered by the topic. You were surprised to hear it from him, of course, but you don’t feel troubled at all.

“Satoru and I had a talk once, just the two of us. I was expecting less from him due to how he treated you before.” He crossed his arms on his chest, eyes wandering as he recalled, “But he was so sure with his words, I was kind of taken aback.” He chuckled, and you wondered what his exact words were.

“No offense, but I feel like that was the only time I really looked at him as a man; a grown man.” He laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “I know 'cause I’ve been there.” He nodded, sounding softer and you just know who he’s thinking about. “The resolve; the determination in him even when he knows that it’s impossible.”

“He has to work on a lot of things. He’s got so much to reflect on.” You sighed, unsure of how to react, not because you rejected the information but because it got your heart drumming in your chest. “We gotta grow as individuals. And if we’re meant to be together, it’s…it’ll happen on its own.” You chuckled, swallowing dryly.

You don’t know if that scares you or excites you for the future. But you know that it’s gonna be so much better than before.

—---------------------------------------

6 Months Later

“Mama why? Mama why?” You heard Satoru laugh loudly at your daughter's words. She’s been repeating the same words over and over since you started getting her ready. Her hair was up extra nice today and she’s staring at her gown hanging near the dresser.

“Mama whats go on? Huh, Mama?” She asked again, sending Satoru into another fit of laughter. “Baby, I’ve been saying. It’s Yui Day today. Your birthday.” You smiled at her kindly, securing the cute hair clips on her head. “I don’t think she’s fully taken any of this in.” Satoru sat on her bed, looking at the two of you.

Her grandfather volunteered to take care of the preparations at Satoru’s house. The helpers arrived early in the morning and Satoru left him there to pick the two of you up and to help get his little girl ready. You’re still in your house clothes and you’re not even a step closer to being ready.

“Go take a shower, I got her.” Satoru arrived just as you were fixing Yui’s hair. “Okay, the shoes are over there. Put the headband on after the dress so it won’t mess up her hair.” You reminded him as you stood up. “Yes, Ma’am.” The little girl jumped towards him pointing at her dress. You stepped out and got ready as quickly as you can.

You were supposed to wear the dress you bought the other week. It wasn’t much and you were worried that it might not look that good, especially with the guests that will come over. You didn’t want to look cheap but you wanted to save so you went for something that goes in the middle.

To your surprise, when Satoru brought Yui’s gown and shoes, he got another set with him. You thought it was for some outfit change but he soon revealed, albeit shyly, that he thought the dress matched the theme of your daughter’s party so he got it for you. It was a designer dress and a pair of shoes.

“I’d…I’ll pay for this, alright? I can’t just—” He cut you off with a close-lipped smile and a gentle sight. “Y/N, I know it’s hard to accept this but I already had lots of shortcomings with you and Yui. This doesn’t mean anything, don’t worry. I’m not trying to, you know, I just want you to feel your best during our daughter’s birthday.” He spoke, nervousness still clear in his voice.

“B-but you’re free to decline it if you don’t feel comfortable, sorry, I can take it back to the—” This time you cut him off with a laugh, “I’m sorry this is just so… expensive. I don’t know how to feel if I just openly accept it from you.” You placed the box on the table behind you, sitting down in hopes of changing the atmosphere.

“Okay, then…just consider this as a gift since I, uh, failed to get you one on your last birthday.” He breathed out the last part as if it was a heavy feeling in his chest that he couldn’t push past his lips. It isn’t as heavy as it was to you though.

Your last birthday was painful to remember, probably the worst one you had ever since you were born even if you never had a big celebration your whole life aside from when you were with Satoru. Last year, your birthday was on the same day as Satoru’s co-parenting schedule.

That time you were hoping that he and Yui would celebrate it with you. But that morning, he came in with Naomi. With hickeys peeking from his jacket, messy hair, and swollen lips, they picked Yui up. You remember your daughter babbling about “Mama day” in a much less understood baby talk that Naomi still caught.

“Oh, is it your birthday? She said ‘mama day’, right?” Her bright eyes shined at you, dimples showing as she smiled but it didn’t lessen the ache in your chest. “Oh, sorry. Happy birthday.” Satoru spoke, proceeding to take his daughter’s belongings. “We should’ve picked Yui up in the afternoon so, they could spend time together.” She suggested, laughing awkwardly.

“What time did you book the Children’s Museum trip?” Satoru halted, his back turned to you. You were about to interrupt, afraid that you were starting to look too pitiful for the lovebirds in front of you and your child. “It starts at 10:00.” She spoke, adjusting the toddler on her hip. “It’s 9:19.” Satoru read his watch, biting his lips with his eyebrows scrunched together.

“We can’t really leave her now, the Children’s Museum isn’t open every day. You can…uh—” He tried to think, turning to you but you can’t take it anymore. “N-no. It’s alright. You—Yui have fun, baby, alright? We’ll go out when you’re back home.” You waved at the child and her smile soothed you. Almost.

“Happy birthday, Y/N, sorry.” Naomi smiled, avoiding your eyes and you hated it. You hated that she felt sorry for you. You hated that they felt sorry for you. “Enjoy your day.” She added, turning around as she urged your daughter to wave again. “We’ll get going, sorry again. Happy birthday.” He spoke lowly, earning a fake smile and a nod from you.

You closed the door before you could even see him put his hand on her waist and guide them to his car. It was supposed to be. That should be the three of you. You wiped the stray tear that fell from your eyes with the back of your hand. That day, you stayed at home, slept until your mother came and brought food, and refused to tell her the story.

That night you stayed awake, wondering how many falls a heart can take before it turns to dust, never to be recovered again.

“Done?” Satoru’s voice brought you back to reality. Your eyes flickered to the reflection of the door in the mirror. You were about to respond when the door burst open, and your child trudged in, almost falling as she squealed. “Mama! Pretty Mama!” She pulled at her skirt, turning. “Wow, lovely. You’re so beautiful, baby!” You cooed at her as she hugged your robe-covered waist.

“Dada put this. Dada! This!” You can tell how excited she is by how she shows off everything; from her headband to her anklets and shoes. She even shows it to her father even if he’s the one who dressed her up. You chuckled in amusement, all the pain numbed as your eyes focused on the present.

You looked over at Satoru who tries to look everywhere but you. Your hair’s still wet from the shower, and you’re still in your robe, all bare underneath and you can’t believe it took you this long to realize that. “You’re so pretty, how about we take pictures downstairs? Or with your toys?” He tried to convince her, wanting to give you time to dress up.

“Mama come!” She pulls at you, “Mama has to wear her pretty dress too, so you’ll be twins.” Satoru quickly picked her up, smiling at you as her daughter babbled excitedly, allowing him to distract her as he closed the door behind them. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror once more, drying your hair quietly.

Thinking back on what Toji said, you can’t just believe them after everything Satoru has done.

—---------------------------------------

You can feel Satoru’s light touch as the three of you pose for the final picture of the day before the party ends. It has been such a long day. Yui happily walked around, clapping at the guests when they sang her a birthday song; quite the opposite of what you thought would happen. You and Satoru received a lot of statements and questions as you were greeting the visitors too.

“Oh, you’re back together again, that’s great!” His aunt said to which he quickly answered with a chuckle, “I’d love that, but no.” You smiled at the old lady, thankful for the understanding face rather than pushing.

“I knew you’d be back to Y/N!” His cousin winked at you, raising a fist bump which you couldn’t really reject. Satoru nodded his head, glancing at you awkwardly at how loud the man was being “When did you guys get back together?” He elbowed him like he was so sure of the information.

“We’re not…really back together. We’re…This is co-parenting.” Satoru took Yui from you. “Say hi.” And that’s how he changed that topic. He met Yui once when she was a baby and to say that he was mesmerized by how much she looked like Satoru now is an understatement. “How did you manage to turn yourself into a little girl.” He and Satoru laughed and you excused yourself to greet some of your relatives who attended.

“I would be mad but, oh well, anything that makes that little doll happy.” Your grandma sighed, smiling as she hugged you. “We’re not back together. I’ll bring her here in a bit.” You muttered, pulling at your dress. “That’s a nice dress you have, it looks expensive, honey.” Your mother complimented.

“Yeah, Satoru got it…f-for me. So, uh, we could match the theme. He organized this.” You smiled nervously, worried at how her eyebrows raised. “I’ll be back, Mom.” You added with a little wave before going back to Satoru and Yui who were now looking at you in distress as she got taken by Satoru’s friend.

“Don’t take him back.” was Shoko’s first words to you as you reached them, making the whole table and you laugh. “Stop it.” Satoru grunted, “Give me my kid back if you’re going to be like that.” He rolled his eyes playfully before meeting yours. “He’s still far from that.” You replied, making them laugh again. Satoru knows that you aren’t joking at all.

It’s funny how the people around you have different views regarding reconciliation with him. And you, you don’t want to think of it. Or more like you’re scared to think of it.

Because you fear that deep in your heart, you still yearn for all of it.

“Yui!” A voice called and when you turned around it was Megumi in his cut little outfit that almost matched Yui’s dress. “Oh gosh, you’re so cute ‘Gumi!” You cooed, hugging the little boy. He would look down at his shirt and back at you as if to show it off. Your eyes wandered around for Toji and you found him speaking to your Mother. You smiled as he waved at you.

“I didn’t see you guys come in.” You spoke as you got close to them. “Sorry, we’re a bit late. He wanted to get another gift.” Toji laughed, nodding at Megumi’s direction who was now walking towards your table with Satoru and Yui. “Thanks for coming.” Satoru encouraged, a little awkwardly.

“Megumi wouldn’t miss his best friend’s birthday.” Toji reached over to fix his son's clothes. You stayed for a bit to talk with Toji and your mom, Satoru took the kids to the photo booth to play with the other kids at the party.

And now you’re walking the last few of the helpers out the door, thanking them for the smooth flow of the event. Yui already fell asleep on Satoru’s shoulder, just like her little friend. Toji went home with a sleepy Megumi who refused to get carried by his dad and insisted on walking despite the constant stumbling.

Thanking Satoru’s Dad before he heads home, he gives the two of you a piece of advice: “I hope you two are not thinking too much of what to do with what you have.” You both didn’t know what to say. You don’t even get it at first but when he spoke again, it all made sense.

“It will happen if it’s meant to happen. Like before. When you were blessed with this angel.” He softly stroked Yui’s cheek, chuckling when her nose twitched. “Well, that’s all. You’re both doing just great. Satoru, stop worrying about the things with your mom. Leave that to me.” With that, he bid goodbye and left.

You had to stop yourself from being too curious about what happened with Satoru and his mother. All that you know is that he broke up with Naomi and you thought that she probably tried to stop him, of course. What’s bugging you is the fact that his father had to comfort him about it. Would it be too much to ask?

“Let’s go inside.” He ushered, adjusting his daughter in his arms and patting her head as she wiggled a little before going back to sleep. “I’m glad we hired helpers. I don’t think I can handle cleaning after all of that.” He laughed, carefully sitting on the couch. “I don’t know how celebrities do meet and greets. I feel so drained.” You agreed sitting down on the loveseat.

“I can’t believe she’s three now. It’s like she was still so tiny a few months ago.” His whispers were low; gentle. You could hear all the love in his voice and the tired yet contented look on his face as he gazed lovingly at his child. She could be getting a sibling now, but you fucked around. You caught yourself thinking, biting your lip at the realization of how silly you’re being.

After a short conversation, Satoru decided to put her in her bed. You’re sure that she’ll be awake in an hour or two. You agreed to stay the night here since you considered that Yui might want to open her gifts by the end of the party. She already opened some earlier due to curiosity but got distracted multiple times and ended up forgetting about them.

“Oh, shit.” You whispered, rummaging through the baby bag with her feet on your lap. You were trying to clean her a little but you ran out of wipes and you forgot to put the extra pack due to the rush this early morning. You carefully placed her feet down to get up and find Satoru. You saw him in his front yard, putting away some things that had been used earlier.

“Does she have wet wipes here? The one in her bag ran out.” You asked him, stepping out of the house. “Yeah, it’s in my bedside drawer, do you mind getting it?” He spoke, carrying a foldable table to the other end of the yard, “Okay.” You found his bedroom door ajar and let yourself in.

Did he specify which one? There are two bedside tables. You went to the closest one, opening the first drawer. You knew you were looking for the wipes and that’s why you came here, you mentally noted that anything in here does not concern you and thus, must not be meddled with.

But right now you’re staring at the brown envelope with a hospital address and a name with the “MD, OB-GYN” title plastered on it. You don’t have to have a degree to understand that. You can feel your heart slowly picking up a pace as you think of all the possible meanings of it.

Was Naomi pregnant and they decided to abort it? Did Satoru make her do it? What if he made her do it because of the fact that he still wants to be with you? You can’t really do anything if that’s why but it makes you feel…accountable. Is this why they broke up on bad terms that even his mother doesn’t want to see him anymore?

The envelope was staring back at you and you can’t help but feel like touching it; opening it. You can get your answer right now if you just read what’s inside this quickly. You won’t have to think about all of this anymore. The voice in your head silenced the approaching footsteps and the sound of Satoru’s voice calling your name.

A shadow was cast upon you and the paper. You looked up to see Satoru staring at the envelope with slightly wide eyes. He quickly closed the cabinet, swallowing as he avoided your eyes. “Sorry, I forgot to mention.” He moved away to get the wipes from the other drawer. “It-it’s here.” He walked quickly, urging you to get moving. “Let’s go before she wakes up—”

“What was that, Satoru?” You don’t care how this made you sound as you grabbed his arm preventing him from leaving the room. He wouldn’t have reacted that way; he wouldn’t have disregarded the matter if it wasn’t something to be hidden. Why did he look so alarmed that you saw it? Like you’re not supposed to know about it.

“It was an old test, I forgot to throw it away.” He rasped, staring at your lips; staring everywhere but your eyes. “I know how to read. The date it was delivered shouldn’t be far from the day the test was done, right?” You half blinked, breathing in as you told yourself to calm down. You don’t know how you’d feel if he told you that’s none of your business.

“Was Naomi pregnant when you broke up with her?” Your voice was a bit more steady, “No.” He sounded small and you could tell that whatever was going on inside his head wasn’t easy to verbalize. “Then, what’s there to hide about it?” You don’t need him to tell you, you could tell that you weren’t supposed to see that.

“I fear that I might be getting a little too overconfident about your feelings for me but—” You lowered your eyes, embarrassed at how that sounded and a bit thankful for being cut off. “She was never pregnant. Sh-she tried…while I was intoxicated. I got her examined.” Satoru rambled, obviously triggered by your words.

“She what?” You looked at him, brows furrowed and eyes wide, finding it hard to believe the assumption in your head. “I got drunk. She…she tried to…” He walked towards that drawer, pulling out the envelope and the paper inside.

“Y/N, read it. I couldn't… I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to vent about this to you because that’s all I’ve been doing, I just want to give you all the good now. I’ll try, Y/N, I promise.” At this point, you don’t even know what he’s trying to explain to you but the welling tears in his eyes and the coldness of his fingers against your skin was enough to pull you to him.

The papers were dropped to the floor as you held him to you. His head was bowed down as he cried on your shoulder as if this was the first day he was allowed to cry about this; as if this was the first time he could hold on to someone while the fear, anger, and shame tore him to pieces.

He held onto you as he sobbed his heart out after holding it all in for so long.

He doesn’t deserve this. No matter what he did or said, Satoru doesn’t deserve this. After everything, you can see how much he’s trying. Despite not being promised anything, he’s giving his all. It wouldn’t be easy to forget and it won’t be easy to trust. But the love you feel for this man comes too naturally to be contained.

“You didn’t deserve that…” You hushed him, hearing him blame himself was shattering. Does his mother know? Why did she disappear as well? What really happened? “Satoru, what happened with your Mom?” His breath hitches. The grown man in the room is now in the form of a child, looking for a hand to hold.

“She knew about it.” His cheeks were wet and his eyes bloodshot as he looked up, running his fingers through his hair. You thought there was something wrong that day. But you didn’t think it could be this bad. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t want to ruin this day, this is our baby girl’s day, I shouldn’t have-“

“Satoru, don’t talk like that. That’s beyond your control.” His breaths were shaky. You doubt that even his closest friends knew about this. “My dad and I placed a restraining order against them. I can’t look at those people the same way anymore.” His eyes were closed as he took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about what you’d feel or think if you accidentally found out…like now. I should’ve explained earlier.” He was referring to your assumptions earlier. “I know it’s hard. I’m sorry, I jumped to conclusions.” You don’t know how long the two of you were staring into each other’s eyes but a voice took you out of the little world that you share.

“Mama…” A cute, sleepy voice called out from outside of the bedroom. “I’ll get her. Calm your mind, Satoru. It’s over. We’re here.” You have no idea how big of an impact those words had on Satoru. He almost wanted to cry again, to pull you close and cry to you again.

To see your back walking out of this bedroom door, but this time with the promise of being on the other side, waiting.

He sat there for a few more minutes, releasing all the heaviness in his chest before getting up to wash his face. Leaning on the doorframe of his daughter’s room, he saw you putting on her little sweaters as you sat barefoot on the floor. “Gumi sing me.” The child spoke with enthusiasm. “He did? What did he sing?” You encouraged, fixing her clothes.

“Can you sing me a song too?” He interrupted, walking in to sit down with you. It was all it took for Satoru to forget what happened earlier. Eating at home with the two of you always feels like an answered prayer. After that, you helped the child open her gifts until way past her sleeping hours.

Walking you to the guest room felt like the first time you lived together; awkward yet heartwarming. Of course, no boundaries were crossed. He wouldn’t try. And you won’t allow it. At least he got to wish you a good night and sweet dreams again.

—---------------------------------------

Days, weeks, and months went by fast. It’s already been 4 months since Yui’s birthday and now you’re walking with her and Satoru at a grocery store. “Yui, this is for the stuff we will buy, this is not a stroller.” You explained as she tried to get Satoru to put her in the pushcart.

He wasn’t supposed to be with you here but it’s Yui’s pick-up day and you decided that you need to get some stuff. Satoru asked if he and Yui could join you since he doesn’t have anything planned except for an early movie night with his little girl. “You’re not a little baby anymore.” She hit Satoru’s chest as he pouted teasingly at her.

“Hey. We don’t hit.” You talked to her sternly, making her put her head on her father’s chest, whispering an almost inaudible apology. “Satoru, do not let her hit you, she’ll get used to doing that.” You reminded him, knowing that he can’t ever scold his baby girl.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He replied absentmindedly, bouncing the kid in his arms to get her to laugh. These days, you’ve been getting comfortable with things like this. You’ve been getting comfortable with compliments like “Oh you make cute babies” from old people who take a liking to your daughter.

You’ve been getting comfortable with Satoru pushing the cart for you as you look for what you need, reaching for the items on the top shelf, carrying your bags for you, and driving you home as you sit in the passenger seat.

Like right now.

“Her sleeping schedule got a lot better when she changed her vitamins, yeah?” You responded to Satoru with a hum as you chewed on your fries, handing a piece to your daughter as she kicked on her car seat. “Her doctor recommended that. I’m glad it works, she used to get up so early.” The car stopped in front of your apartment.

“Would you like to stay? I’ll be cooking.” You won’t deny that this isn’t the first time you asked, “I’d love to stay.” And this isn’t the first time he agreed. You don’t know why but you didn’t budge from the passenger seat, knowing that Satoru was rushing to open the door for you. You went to your baby and took her inside, not worrying about your things and the groceries you bought.

You can’t remember the last time it felt awkward with Satoru lying on your couch with your daughter. You also can’t remember how he had a pair of spare house slippers for him here. Walking past the fridge, you saw a photo of Yui and Megumi from their recent pool party.

Satoru came to pick you and Yui up but you ended up staying for another hour. You can’t remember when Toji and Satoru shed a noticeable amount of awkwardness around them. At one point, you even heard them talking about business like they didn’t try to rip each other’s heads off when they first met.

You can’t remember at what point everything started going right but you’re not complaining.

“Where’s her choccy-juice?” Satoru mimicked Yui’s words, laughing. “I told her we were about to eat in a few minutes but she won’t listen.” Taking the chocolate milk from the fridge, he stood beside you to fulfill his daughter’s request. “She’s not supposed to have a lot of that.” You sighed, “I’ll just let her have a taste so she’ll stop.” His voice sounded so much softer now.

“Dada!” She came running to the kitchen, holding onto Satoru’s leg as she tried to have a peek at what you were cooking. “Wanna see? Here’s your choccy.” He lifted her, letting her hold the sippy cup as they watched you cook. “Hmm…” Both you and Satoru can’t help but laugh at her reaction.

You don’t know if it’s because a lot of things happened but they all feel like distant memories; some of which you can’t even clearly see in the back of your mind. Satoru felt like a new man and along with this, the pain of your past continuously fades away each time you see his face.

You don’t want to name the feeling yet but, you know that all that’s meant to happen will happen.

Like it did when you had Yui. Like it did when you got sundered. Like it did when you tried with different people. Like it does now, as you slowly, steadily fall back together.

PREV | ALT. Ending

taglist: @forever-war @astral-hydromancy @witchbybirth @starshinedowo @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @lost-lonnie @haitanifxn @dearsunaa @clairdelunaax @anxious-chick @tigerchaeee @gingerspicelattemix @tsukkisrightpinky @crowiechan @makimais @infinitemoonlight @iloveblogging2 @cloudsinthecosmos @uchiwife @bellaadonnas @lawlietily @lilxnvm @poopoobuttsy @yihona-san06 @luhvbot @sagekko @asbony @uhremmi

@kurookinnie @why-am-i-here-again-shitheads @galaxyfever @guenievresworld @y2kcy3brz @chocokaylarobin @hopeannalea @shizuuuuuuuu @tojirin @teapartyspilled @ackermendick @shadowarchon @vinkiesz @awkwardaardvarkforever @nvvacanesworld @wolffmaiden @underburningstars @rntrsuna @vampgguk @doulcha @creolequeen11210 @reosnagi

#angst #gojo angst #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru angst #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk #jjk x reader

2K notes · View notes