☀️🌧️ COUNT UNTIL SUNRISE :: DAY 27 🌧️☀️

🌙 Today wasn't the greatest. Actually it was just generally pretty shitty.

We got to sleep in, but we slept in far too much and had nightmares. Then when we went to work, we got very overwhelmed by everything and everyone. We weren't even able to get much stocking done because every customer wanted to say hi apparently.

It turned out better in the end and we got a lot of shit finished. Then we got home, drew for a bit, and now we're getting to bed.

Goodnight... Hoping tomorrow goes better.

currently having a minor psychotic break but great news for absolutely nobody ive decided to lean into it + just start a podcast LMAO

My Journey Towards a Brighter Tomorrow

In the grand tapestry of life, I find myself at the crossroads of generations, where experiences, challenges, and dreams intertwine. This blog post is an emotional celebration of my journey, highlighting the power of growth, the promise of a brighter future, and the profound impact that one person's transformation can have on us all.

Our world is an ever-evolving story, where every generation weaves its unique thread into the narrative. It's a story of resilience, innovation, and the continuous evolution of humanity. As I gather the threads of experience from different times and places, I create a rich and intricate tapestry of inspiration that touches the deepest chords of my soul.

With every sunrise, a new page is written, an opportunity to grow and inspire. Each morning brings hope, a chance to learn from yesterday's lessons, and to become a better version of myself. With each new day, I embrace the power to inspire positive change, and the emotions that stir within me remind me of the boundless potential that lies within my heart.

As night falls and I rest my head, I carry the wisdom of the day with me. Nightly reflection isn't about dwelling on past mistakes but about acknowledging my progress, becoming wiser with each passing moment, and preparing to greet a new day with hope and determination. It's in these moments of quiet reflection that I feel a deep sense of gratitude for the journey I'm on.

Life is an eternal classroom, where every experience, every encounter, is a lesson in the making. It's about approaching each moment with humility, curiosity, and a willingness to learn from each other. In our collective growth, we find the power to inspire and uplift everyone in our global community, evoking emotions that remind us of our shared humanity.

In the midst of life's challenges, we often encounter unsung heroes. My parents, hard-working and dedicated, navigated their own path through the complexities of divorce. Raising children during such times is a journey filled with struggles and sacrifices that are sometimes hidden from the eyes of the young. As I've grown older, I've gained a deeper understanding of their challenges and an immense appreciation for their unwavering commitment to providing the best they could for their children.

Behind my journey, there's a circle of family and friends who provide support, love, and understanding. But my journey has also taken me around the world, where I've had the privilege of meeting wonderful people from diverse backgrounds. These global encounters have enriched my life with knowledge and insight, and I deeply appreciate the friendships and experiences that have broadened my perspective.

In a world of constant change, I am the author of my destiny. Every day offers an opportunity for personal growth, transformation, and the power to inspire others. The emotions I feel, a mixture of sadness and happiness, remind me of my shared humanity and the potential for positive change within me. Together, we can make this world shine brighter with each passing moment, as I embark on a journey of hope, inspiration, and lasting impact.

oh yea in 3 days its gonna be my 1 month anniversary of being in japan???? it literally has barely felt like a weak wtf(<- going thru the horrors)

📔 + apartment

SEND 📔 FOR A JOURNAL ENTRY WRITTEN BY MY MUSE.

Day 122. Somehow I've got a place to stay. Been spending a few days here on Miagani Island since there's so much to see and do, even for free like visiting the arcade and the mall. I even found some loose change lying around to be able to afford something to eat so I bought a donut. It didn't taste of anything.

While I was sitting outside feeding the pigeons, this woman comes rushing out of this building apartment nearby. She scared the pigeons off what with her cursing up a storm. I ask her what's wrong and she says everything. Boy, was she mad. I found out about what though. That building she came out of? It's the worst place on Miagani Island, or so she said. I was afraid to ask anything again but she was too angry to care, screaming down the phone at her ex to come pick her up. She threw the keys down next to the stormdrain then walked off. I picked them up, deciding to check things out for myself. It can't be all that bad, can it? ... It's worse. It's MUCH worse. She really wasn't kidding. What even is this place? It looks like it hasn't been done up in the last twenty years. Maybe even thirty. The lights don't turn on. The hot water tap is broken. The windows are cracked. Every electrical wire is exposed. The furniture is cheap and the kitchen counter is rickety and full of holes. Do termites even live in cities? If they do, this place almost certainly has them. The bathroom isn't much better either. The tiles are grotty and smell like mildew. Maybe they once used to be white but they're a solid grey now with lots of black speckles in between the grouting. Dad would have a fit if he saw this place. I wish he were here. ... It's been another day. I'm still in the apartment. There are bugs everywhere, coming out at all times of the day since the lights don't turn on. I don't like this place at all but maybe I can stay here for a bit? Would I get into trouble? I don't know how leasing works in America. I don't have any identification papers whatsoever. ... Day 125. Got a knock at the door. Big scary guy looked surprised to see me but shrugged his shoulders and said rent was due in three weeks. I asked how much. Where can I even get $400? I don't have a job. I'm going out tomorrow morning first thing to see what I can do.

Another night of trying to sculpt a birthday gift for Mom, only to have it be one of the worst things I have ever made. I really am getting worse and worse at sculpting. Worrying about running out of time is to get it right is not helping.

No ideas. No skill. Sculpey so far gone most people would toss it. Exhaustion before I start each day . I’m doomed!

Somehow I have GOT to make one that is half way good, just so I can get to bed earlier!

Does Duolingo actually help you? I’ve thought about downloading it several times to teach myself Spanish, but I don’t know if it will be worth the time and effort 😭

Duolingo is great for vocabulary and keeping you consistent on daily learning but it certainly isn’t an effective language learning tool. Alongside duolingo, I learn from language teachers on YouTube and I have a moleskin that I use to practice writing, vocab, and grammar. Watching movies and TV shows in the language you are learning is also super helpful! During my summer break, I think I’m going to buy language workbooks too. I’ve always wanted to be someone who speaks multiple languages so I’m quite invested in this lol by the end of this year I want to be able to read a whole novel in Spanish

Sweet n’ Low

The last time I wrote I believe my love life was “non-existent”. I am glad to say it’s been going pretty well for the last 2 years! She’s a Gemini, Leo Venus. I really do love her.

With new experiences however, come new struggles (of course). I’ll get straight to the point- I am feeling sexually disengaged. Not to stroke my own ego but as a Scorpio mars, Pisces Venus, I have been told I am good at what I do. However, I can’t help but feel envious that I don’t feel that same sense of “you push all my buttons”. As in, I don’t feel like all of my buttons are being pressed, as in I’m not finishing. How do I explain that I want the same attention & patience I believe I bring to the table- (or bed in this scenario).

I just want to feel passionate & free, almost rabid-animalistic, during sex. As of late though, I just sort of feel like I’m there to free someone else’s body. I love to give, I almost live for it. I just really don’t want to fall into the pattern of giving & rarely taking. I’m hot, I’m young, & I feel disheartened about it. Why does no one play the game of seduction anymore? Don’t you want to seduce me?

-Leo rising / Scorpio Mars .•

☀️🌥️ COUNT UNTIL SUNRISE :: DAY 25 🌥️☀️

Today was good....worked a lot....fed JADE in the morning....she was very cute as always......brother is coming soon.....on Friday I think......zzz.....zzz......

Got work again tomorrow.... hopefully gonna be stocking a lot... So excited for it....zzz......

When we got home....worked on PK bots....and then watched RUIN gameplay.....now eepy times....zzzz......

Goodnight...

(ㅅ´˘`)♡ hi friends!! i just got home from pallin around w my bestie & i lit a nice candle & im gonna clean up my room a lil bit ꒰ ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈ ꒱ i hope you all had a v great sat!!

Everyone needs a diary actually. Have a journal too or anything additional if need be. I was scared about something, wrote it down, and now I feel significantly less worried then I was before. I can flip through to see what I eat and I can figure out what makes me sick. I can track my symptoms to find out I've had one more abnormally. It's amazing and I highly recommend it.

sleepy + going to cry if i spend another minute in the vicinity of my mother + weird stinging and stabbing pain in my side.. i am fairly certain rewatching the fellowship of the ring would fix me but i am going to be responsible and go to bed

Become the person they said you couldn’t be

Soft Yandere Simp with CamGirl Reader, part 2

3, 2, 1, FINALLY IT’S TIME! He can hardly contain himself as he counts down the days until he finally gets to meet you in person. 

During your nightly video chats with him, which he’s grown to cherish dearly, you brought the idea of meeting up to his attention. You have no idea how happy he was that you brought it up on your own accord! 

Through some shady research, he already knows you are about 3 hours away from his home-city. It wouldn’t hurt to drive your way. He’d row a damn boat for hours if it meant getting to see you in person. 

The two of you decide on meeting up for a picnic, and then a shopping date at the mall closest to your vicinity. 

The night before the designated meetup, he sits at his computer desk studying everything he had learned about you over the past couple of months, lest he forgets something important.

He wishes he had a perfect memory, but he doesn’t. So he opted to writing down every fact he had ever learned about you in a special journal, dedicated to you and only you. All your likes, dislikes, blood type, height, weight (all three of which he had to break into your medical records to find) , favorite games, health issues, the amount of freckles on your face—every little detail he knew about you was written down, along with many, MANY hearts and grade-school doodles because he really can’t help it. You make him feel like a giddy kid again. 

Saturday morning. It’s show-time. He leaves thirty minutes early, dressed up and ready to tackle the day and meet the love of his life for the first time. He shoots you a text when he arrives (Did he ever mention his background screen was a photo of you?), nervously standing at your doorstep with a box of your favorite chocolates in hand, as well as a little vase with succulents in it, since you’re allergic to the pollen in actual flowers. 

You greet him with a hug and he just about melts in your arms, taking in your scent and rubbing his face into your beautiful locks. 

You’re pretty on camera, but nothing beats the real thing. You’re simply a goddess in the human form. He wishes he could take a photo to capture this moment forever, but his eyes will have to make do.

The drive to the park is an awkwardly quiet, but serene one. He swears you might be able to hear his heart pounding the entire ride, despite the music playing in the background (a playlist he made dedicated to you, obviously). When he glances over to the passenger seat, you’re gazing out the window with the cutest little smile on your face. He’s happy you’re happy. 

When the two of you arrive, he opens the trunk and removes all the supplies he brought to ensure today’s picnic would be great. He brought a giant blanket for the occasion, a small speaker for music, and even packed sandwiches and cookies that he had made himself, praying to god they would taste good. He wasn’t the greatest cook, so he watched about five different baking videos on how to make the perfect cookies. He hopes Youtube hasn’t failed him yet. 

He silently thanks whatever god lives in the sky when you take a bite into a cookie and compliment his baking skills. You take another bite and moan, making him feel ten times hotter than the warm spring day already made him feel. 

30 minutes pass and both his and your bellies are full. You lay down on the blanket, inviting him to do the same, and he nervously lays next to you. He relaxes once you intertwine your fingers with his. He thinks he’s never felt more at peace than in this moment, relaxing with you. The two of you talk about random things, watching the clouds in the sky morph into various shapes as time passes. 

Eventually, you both pack up and head to the mall. You buy him a figure from his favorite video game, and he gets you a new set of earrings. You laugh when his face turns fully red as you two walk into a store specializing in lingerie. 

He feels like he might faint from the sheer intense feelings he has when you ask him to pick something out, ‘just for his eyes only’ you say with a whisper into his ear. 

If he didn’t have such good self control he’d bang you in the try-on rooms right then and there. But no. He’d be a gentlemen. 

But be prepared for all his pent up longing when you two finally share an intimate time together. Let’s just say he has…plenty in store for you :) 

The date ends with you being dropped off back home. You invite him in for a drink, and chat a little more before it becomes late. He finds your yawns adorable, and he kisses you on the forehead before heading out for the night. 

He sincerely hopes you don’t ever find the tracking device he’s planted in your purse when you weren’t looking. He convinces himself it’s for peace of mind since he’ll know where you are, whenever you are. To protect you. That’s what good boyfriends do, right? 

Wait. Are you two even dating now? 

He wants to pull over on the drive home and just sit in utter defeat because his dumbass totally forgot to ask this. 

He sighs as he asks the dumbest, most cliche question in the world. He shoots you a text. 

“Hey, Y/N. What are we? (｀・ω・´)”

Pains of the touch

Astarion x reader

Warnings: Fluff, intimacy, innocent reader,tav insert

Here cry some more 🤣

The amount of astarion pics I have is unhealthy lmao

Everyone at camp had finally been able to rest after a tough fight for the land. cheers and drinks flowed free. Your ferocious leader making their rounds and drinking. You were sitting by the fire with Shadowheart in front of you. You were the overly affectionate one of the group, sometimes you didn’t even realise, but you were always comforting or touching. Nothing sexual of course, you enjoyed playing with others hair, Halsin let you give him little plats in his, Shadowheart let you brush out her raven locks and make a simple braid for the night. Karlach would pout because she’d want some attention, but was afraid of burning you, Lae’zel threatened you with death if you tried to touch, Gale was always embarrassed so you’d always asked before hand and he’d give in, and Astarion, well Astarion stood by his tent and read silently with a whole bottle of wine. You always sagged seeing him over there brooding, you know he wasn’t very social and very caged, you don’t blame him, being a vampire spawn for two hundred years and then this, must be hard on him.

You finished brushing Shadowhearts hair as she sipped on some wine and chuckled with Karlach who was telling a story. You began to braid her hair and finished with a smile.

“All done” you smiled sitting down beside her now, shoulders touching. She smiled saying her thanks as she handed you her cup. You shook your head smiling, one of you had to be sober. You settled into a warmth, Karlach still talking about her adventures, it made you smile no matter how bloody they were. The teiflings were rather rowdy to your surprise, dancing and singing. You were happy though right where you were.

People often commented on your touchiness, saying it was weird and how you were too trusting. You’d been beaten down many times because of it, starved from a young age. You never knew kindness from your parents, no nightly hugs and kisses, no bedtime story’s, just yelling, constant yelling, fear and tears. When you left home at a young age you swore to never be like them, you swore to be kind and hope one day the gods would return that kindness to you. Seems the gods kindness ended with a tadpole in your brain and some crazed fighters by your side who you now swore to show kindness and affection too. You often stopped yourself though, even when your companions would say they didn’t mind or even ask you too, human touch was a necessity in such horrid times like this, something to keep the hope alive and trust strong. Your mind kept you up every night though, you kept over thinking, had nightmares and would often leave your tent to sit out in the forest and just watch the stars so you didn’t have to think. It never worked, you’d often cry and curse yourself.

You leant back sighing as Shadowheart and the others went to their tents or to socialise, you sat back on the rock grabbing your journal. You jumped a bit seeing Astarion sit against the log by you.

“You alright?” You asked he usually didn’t come over.

“Course, we just killed a bunch of people” he grinned and you huffed smiling with a small shake of your head. You scribbled in your journal, drawing a random tree. Others soon joined though and the camp fire was filled with chatter. You were pushed closer to Astarion, your leg almost against his shoulder. You had put your journal away listening to everyone. You glanced to Astarions hair frowning at the muck in it. You tsked reaching to pull the stick and spiderwebs out.

“Did you hit a tree?” You snorted not noticing how the vampire had tensed.

“You’ve got spiderwebs in your hair” you scolded lightly gently pulling them out. His hair was so soft and you smiled softly before you noticed his frozen state.

“Oh- I’m so sorry-“ you said cursing yourself. You grunted a bit as the people beside you pushed you a little and huffed as they drunkenly laughed and gave you a cheers.

“You’ve still got stuff in your hair” you muttered to Astarion.

“You might wanna wash it is all, I know you like your hair pristine” you tried to joke as he didn’t look at you. He didn’t speak, he began to move and you felt your heart drop, you made him leave cause of your stupid touchiness. He stood and walked back to his tent and you deflated feeling sadden as you shuffled over a bit more. You stared at the ground, but was shocked when Astarion tapped your shoulder.

“Come” he said simply and you frowned, but nodded following him. He held something in his hands, but you couldn’t see it as you walked behind him.

“I can’t see the back of my head, nor can I see in a mirror” he said turning to you handing you some form of oil and a brush. Your heart swelled suddenly and you smiled.

“You tell anyone and I’ll slit your throat” he said and you gulped, but nodded as he sat down and you sat behind him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask to touch you, can I?” You asked and he nodded. You sat on your knees a smile on your face as you brushed out his pearly curls making sure nothing was left in it before you gently massaged the nice smelling oil in his hair and styled it like he normally did. You moved to his sides before sitting in front of him, smiling as you fixed his curls.

“I don’t know how you make it so perfect without a mirror” you chuckled not seeing the ways his eyes stared at you. He seemed to lean into your touch and you felt warmth fill you as he let you do this.

“There, no more spiders” you sat down on your knees again in front of him as you laid down the brush and oil. You smiled at him, but it faltered at the look he gave you.

“Is everything alright?” You asked and he scoffed lightly looking away. You tensed a bit, did you do something wrong? He asked you to? Well sort of told you to do it.

“I promise it’s how you style it, I didn’t do anything silly” you began to feel anxious as you fiddled with your hands in your lap. He suddenly grabbed your hips tugging you to him, you made a surprised noise as he pulled you into his lap. You rested your hands on his shoulders so you didn’t crash into him, as your knees sat by his hips. You felt your cheeks go hot at the intense stare he gave you, like he was studying you. You opened your mouth to speak nothing came out so you closed it. You looked away trying not to sit in his lap.

“I trust you” he said, but for some reason it felt like it wasn’t about his hair. You looked to him seeing a new softness in his eyes. You faltered hand twitching slightly as you lifted it to caress his face. He closed his eyes as you did, gently stroking your thumb on his cheek bone, seeing the light wrinkles by his eyes. You sat down in his lap pressing your lips to his forehead as you saw his brow strain and he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck. You were surprised by the sudden act, but you held him back, fingers massaging his scalp again as you smiled.

“You just need ask for a hug from me, no matter what time” you said softly.